May 8, 2025 • 34 mins
We’re back for another round of Dear Banya!
How do you know you’ve found “the one”?? How do you handle an inter-faith relationship?? And is it a red flag if your significant other doesn’t want to go to your kids activities??
Plus, we play a dramatic round of “Which Grey’s Character Are You?”!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Right, hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey everyone, everyone.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
We are scrubbing.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Yeah, we need to replace it with something.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Really, But if I'm like hello Tanya, Hello Becca, Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Easton, Hello Mark, could we'll continue to work on it?
Speaker 5 (00:42):
Is that a dog?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
No, just a bark?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I was like, no, the whole point is I can't
get off of the podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
It's time for scrubbing.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
In the o R.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I want to join us and don't go too far.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
All right, no more submissions.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
We have a winner, just stolen from one of the
most iconic films.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
My favorite messages from somebody that was like, does scrubbing
and have like a budget? I feel like they have
an outdated jingle. They haven't outdated this. They don't have
mic flags, they don't have whatever. I was like, dang,
the answer is no, I sent you. Did I send
you that screen?
Speaker 5 (01:37):
It was like, yeah, we have a Dear Bonnia episode today, Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
We do, and I want to start us off with
my Dear Bonia. I don't even know where I saw this.
Mobe's in our prep you might have seen it too. Anyway,
I thought this is a funny question. So would you rather,
but you have to one of these has to happen.
Would you rather walk in on your parents in bed together?
(02:05):
Or have them walk in on you in bed together?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Have them walk in on me.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Like, but not just in bed together like?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yes you would? Yes, much better for me personally.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
All right, Becca, this is really unfortunate. I think I'd
rather walk in on them.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh dang, why, I know, like a perverted answer. Really, yeah,
I think.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
It's more perverted for them to want to walk in
on me doing it.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
I don't nobody wants this to happen, it's just this happens.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I think I'd be able to like process it and
move on easier than they would.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
I think I agree, yes, because it feels like the
awkwardness it was gonna be awkwardness either way.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I guess, Mark, this is a horrible question.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Are the conversation I saw the summer I saw.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Taking a step further? What position?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
All right, fine, let's just going to the normal deer bond.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Yeah, just move on, let's move on. Answer please, I
guess I'd rather have them walking on me.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (03:28):
Better because since we didn't say what position, maybe me
and my wife are just holding hands all right?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
It was a split decision.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Better like doing like you know you're.
Speaker 6 (03:42):
Actually like mid coitus?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yes, you are just holding hands?
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Isn't that how it's? Is there another way?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Yes? Childless From Anika High, Banya and Meston Day one
scrubbery here, I just want to start saying thank you
for making me laugh every week. I truly admire the
relationships you all have with your significant others. I'm going
through a breakup after five years and now I'm thirty.
I'm trying to reflect them, but I want moving forward.
(04:14):
My question is, how do you actually know when someone
is the one? People always say when you know, you know,
but I'd love to hear your take on it. Becca
and Tanya. You both seem so happy in your relationships,
and I love how you talk about your partners with
so much love and respect. It's inspiring and makes me
want to hold out for that kind of connection and
not settle. You also seem like you never get sick
of each other, even though I'm sure you have your moments.
(04:35):
Any advice on how to recognize your person would be
greatly appreciated. Ps. I recently cleaned my water bottles because
I was pulling a Tanya. Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Wow, the fact that that's now called I'm considered pulling
a Tanya.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, maybe Anika can inspire you to wash your ball.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I watched it probably twice since we've had that conversation.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
Not enough, it's.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Okay to start.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, yeah, the straw is often yes, yeah, great, great, great.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Just to be clear, do you want to answer?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I don't think I know the answer, Like, how do
you know they're the one? I feel like with Robbie,
I literally knew very quickly that like my inner beings
told me that he he was it.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, I would like to say that it was the
same thing, like, it's not really something that I have
it that was specific of like I knew because she
did this. There's more something that happened like in my
like brain chemistry or something where I was like, And
I also think that one thing that I will say
is that any of the problems or issues that we've
(05:53):
had to navigate or work through, it hasn't felt like
a burden to go through the work.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Of navigating those things.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
It's been like, I want to work on this as
opposed to it being like I have to work on this.
It's been like, Okay, I want to be with you,
you want to be with me, and that's like that's
what's happening. So how do we make it as like
healthy as possible? And I've wanted to do that as
opposed to feeling like it was a burden in our relationship. Yeah,
which I feel like is if it's not the right person,
(06:23):
that going through things and working on things feels like
a heavy burden, a heavy lift, I think for me,
I guess is what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
Yeah, so that's what I would say. How do you
what do you think it is?
Speaker 6 (06:36):
I mean, I agree that it's a there's not like
a specific thing. But I think back to this. There's
this quote from Kieramo do Toro that I really like
about art, and it's art. The definition of art is
what would you risk to be in its presence? And
I always think about like I just couldn't imagine life
with that, Like when I'm with Alison, I'm like, I
can't imagine doing anything without you, and I would risk
(06:59):
everything just to be in your orbit. Yeah, And I've
never felt that way about anyone else. And that's the
fact that I popped into my head. It's like the sign,
you know.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, Like I literally don't get sick of him. Like
I can literally have Robby next met twenty four to
seven and never get sick of him.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Yeah, Like he gets in my lap all day, I'd
be totally fine.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Yeah, lose feeling in your feet, but you're fine day
the way around.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Like I could sit on his lap all day long
and I'd be like, perfectly fine.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
I remember the revelation we had been together three years. Remember,
my wife was very young when we started dating, so
I wanted to have a long I wanted it a
long time because I didn't want her to feel like
she got married too young or didn't see anyone else,
or made a mistake. So after we began together three years,
I remember thinking, am I going to propose to this?
It's really is she the one? And I thought to myself, well,
what's the opposite? What's the alternates? The alternate is we
(07:50):
break up and go and lead separate lives and never
talk to each other again. And that was laughable and
inconceivable to me. There is no way that is my future.
That Amy's just another person in the world that I
think about every once in a while, but liv a
girl in life completely separate from me, There's no way
that's the case. And that was it. I knew, Okay,
this is it, this is the one, and I'm going
to propose.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, that's that makes sense to me. And I resonate
with that because I remember when think that when some
certain people found out about my relationship with Haley who
were important to me, and they weren't super receptive or accepting,
I was like, so, what's the alter, Like I either
do what they want or and I don't have Haley
in my life. And I was like, I can't even
fathom that. And I was willing to have to go
(08:32):
through a hard time in another relationship with someone who
I love and care about so much to be with her.
And I think that was the moment where I was like, oh,
this isn't like a fleeing or something I could just
like forget. And I remember I've said it a lot,
but I always was like I knew I would never
stop thinking about her if I wasn't with her. And
I think that's kind of the thought, which is basically
(08:53):
what you just said in different words, like the thought
of her amy, doing being with anyone else doing living
life felt like there's no way I'm not a part
of that her life.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yes, so that's it.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
That's how you know. Hope that helped a very confused
and hurt scrubber sent us this one. Hi, Becka, Tanya Mark,
and Easton. I'm a longtime listener living in a small
town in Manitoba, Canada. I bet that's nice up there.
I'd like to see Manitoba, Canada. I'm a thirty two
year old single mom of two boys, both under the
age of ten. One is named Easton.
Speaker 6 (09:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
My ex husband and I separated in twenty twenty three
and have reached the end of our separation and divorce process.
I started doing my boyfriend a little over a year ago.
We dd it for five months before introducing him to
my two boys, and it's been mostly smooth sailing. My
boyfriend is thirty seven, has never ever wanted kids of
his own, which I've known from the beginning. I don't
want more kids either. I may have assumed incorrectly, but
(09:50):
I assumed that even though he didn't want children of
his own, he wouldn't date someone with kids if he
was opposed to attending kids' events like soccer, taekwondo, et cetera,
and eventually years down the line, having more of a
step parent like role. When I've asked him why he's
so unwilling to attend these things, his response is usually,
this is exactly why I didn't want to have kids
on my own, or why would I want to go
(10:12):
to that. I tried to explain to him that my
kids have asked why he can't attend these events, and
I always have to lie and say he's working. He
always makes it seem like I'm asking for the end
of the world, and I'm not sure that I am.
The boys want him there because they love him and
they want him to be there to support them. I
feel so confused. I'm sure i'd handle the situation. I
love him deeply, which is why it's been so hard.
An the insider opinions would be greatly appreciated. A very
(10:34):
confused and hurt scrubber. It's not great.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
It's not great.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
The thing that immediately popped up in my mind is
I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Like when.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
You're in a relationship, there's that like teammate and partnership
that comes along with it, and I really tell you,
you're the only person who can speak to this in
the room really in terms of like being the person
coming into someone's life with kids.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I think the thing is that he's not. So I
think every situation's different. I don't think every step parent
or step parenting role looks the same. I think it's
dependent on your partner and that what they want that
role to be. So in my case, Robbie did want that.
He really wanted me to be a very active part
(11:28):
of the kids' lives, and I wanted the same thing.
We were really like the word sympatico in that, and
so that's kind of where that's where we took the role,
my role with the kids. And it's hard because you're
the mom and you want your partner to be involved,
(11:48):
but he really doesn't want to be involved. So I
feel like you guys have to maybe make some sort
of compromise because I also think too, if he doesn't
want that responsibility, he doesn't want kids, he doesn't want
he doesn't want that responsibility of even being a step parent,
then maybe there's a compromise you can make. Maybe doesn't
come to every game, maybe he just comes to like
one here and there or you know, like does not
(12:10):
have to be all in or all out. I feel
like he's all out?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Is it? Is there an element of I don't want
to be around your ex husband, I don't want to
be the new guy and everybody staring at me. Is
there something there? Like I have maybe hard to believe
he has no interest in watching your kids play soccer.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Especially if he's building a relationship. Yeah, especially if he's
building a relationship with them.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think he just I think he doesn't want kids
and he probably gets to have her fifty percent of
the time by him, by herself, and he probably is
like I told you from the beginning, I didn't want kids,
And I think she's totally valid in being like, then
why would you date me if you weren't going to
have any participat participation in my kids lives?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
He is having participation in their lives because she's saying
that they love him and they want him to come.
So he's clearly like hanging out with them at some point.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
But if he I know, but if he cares and
loves them and he and she's saying they want you
to come to their events, wouldn't he go oh, like
in his mind, it's like, oh, yeah, that I didn't
really I don't really want to go to a kid's
soccer game, but like I love these kids and this
is what they want from me.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Yea, how do I show up for them? I don't
think this guy's your person.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, it's because I'm not like your guy.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I get.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I understand his view on like if he doesn't want kids,
but why would you date someone who's who's very much
in that in that and has kids and not be.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Able to show up for them?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Because some people who are in that role like don't
have to be like that. Like I don't really know
any examples, but like I'm trying to think of like
a famous couple that just to give a good example.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
While you're thinking, I'm saying, like if she's can mean
if if this was at the very beginning, like let's
say last week was the first game, and he was like, yeah,
I'm not really into that. I don't want to go
to kids' sporting events, and then she's like, Okay, now
I have to reassess what this is. But this is
not the first time it's happened. He has like consistently
not been going and she's probably communicated like, Hey, the
boys really want you to come. I'm having to lie
(14:18):
and say that you're at work. And if he's still
not able to go, like, oh, like I should show up.
I'm in these kids' lives like I should show up,
or they're when they're doing something that's important to them.
I don't think this is the type of guy that's
going to be a partner to you or a teammate
to you.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, if that's important.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Again, it's just like, yeah, it's hard with these emails
because you want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt,
and I'm trying real hard to give this guy the
benefit of the doubt. But who doesn't want to go
see random kids off the streets are kids that you
know and watch them play soccer or dance or whatever
it is. It seems to me like I'm going to
see my friend's kids game. Yeah, our neighbors kids have
(14:59):
gone see Like it's just something to do when it's fun.
Speaker 7 (15:02):
Yeah, I don't know, it's like showing up for kids,
like kids seeing people in your Like if people like
my aunts and people came to my events when I
was in school, I remember being like, oh my gosh,
like my, oh.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Want to go to yeah, sporting them?
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Why wouldn't you?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So I I again, we only know what we've gotten
this email about. But I think that you deserve someone
who's going to be a to and I think maybe
if there's, if there hasn't been a sit down conversation
about that it's important to you and that it's important
to the kids, then have that conversation. And if he's
not willing to compromise and be able to show up
(15:42):
for them and you, then I don't think this is
your personal or.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Maybe we understand the root of why he doesn't want
to go to these events. Maybe we start with that what.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
The root seem like?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
He's just like, yeah, I don't want kids.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
But also there's gonna be stuff he wants you to
go to that you don't want to go to. Right,
I don't know what that is. Let's go watch with
the boys. I don't want to do this, but fine,
you know is what we do.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Relationships, It's part of life. But that's the part of
being like a team. And this guy doesn't feel like
a team with you.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
No, he's got an iron team and that's just the
team have.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
An iron team.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
You can't, Tanya, did you come up with a celebrity
couple analogy for this particular situation?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
So I was saying, I was thinking maybe like Jennifer
Lopez and Ben Affleck, but it didn't quite work. Oh,
Jlo has kids, ben Affleck has kids. But I do
feel like even Jlo like showed up to ben afflecks
kids stuff and vice versa. Probably so, No, I don't
know any step parents that do not attend any of
(16:47):
their children's step children's festivity effort. Yeah, thank you, A
good idea. I tried, Dakota Johnson. I don't know those
kids are older.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Than you for working on it.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
While you're thinking about it. We're going to take a break,
(17:22):
all right. We are back with more burning questions.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Different religions, Tanya, this question is mostly for you, it says,
I mean day one, Scrubber was so happy of you
when you met Robbie and finally became a wife. I
was in a two year relationship with a man I
love and care for so deeply. I am born and
raised devout Catholic and he was raised Hindu, though he's
not necessarily religious. We recently broke up because we couldn't
come to a conclusion on how our wedding would look
(17:48):
combining traditions, etc. Can you share a bit more about
how you and Robbie had discussions around your different faith backgrounds.
I'm heartbroken and really hopeful we can find a way
to come back together. Lots of love, Anonymous.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
They broke up because they couldn't figure out read that
line again, they couldn't figure out how to have a wedding.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
That combines the traditions of Catholicism and Hinduism.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
And that broke them up.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Apparently, she says, we broke up because we couldn't come
to a conclusion. That makes me sad, But maybe I
think it's a bigger picture thing, like, well, if we
can't even figure this out, how are we going to
figure out how to raise kids together and all these
other things? You know?
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, I think that when it came to faith and
traditions and everything that comes in that realm of things,
Robbie respected mine and I respected his, and we kind
of took like an all hands on deck approach. We
(18:44):
celebrate all the things, we incorporate all the things. It
really and we really wanted our wedding ceremony to be
non denominational. We didn't want it to be fully one
way or the other. And it was like the easiest
thing that we've done, Like we didn't have fights about it.
(19:05):
It was literally just like what traditions, what do you
want to have? What do you want to have? And
then we both said great love it, great love it
did it? Like I feel like we just approached it
from a place of just like love and understanding on
both sides. We never truly haven't thought about it.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
And I wonder if so if they approached this from
a different way where he would suggest something that she
say something like, oh, my grandparents are never going to that,
and vice versa, he's like, oh, my family is not
going to want that to happen. You know, maybe that's
there's too many cooks in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Maybe I also think they're like, you are very committed
to your faith, and so is Robbie.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
But I also think.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
That if you're devout to your religion and your family
is really intensely developed to their religion, and you're thinking
about what is our family going to think, what's grandma
going to think? Who's a devout Catholic? I think you
get in your head about that. But I think if
you're like I think y'all have done such a beautiful
job at like honoring each other in your religions and
(20:04):
also being respectful and also being.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Willing to learn, I think you have to kind of.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Drown out the noise of what's everyone else gonna say
and think, Yeah, and if it's if that's what it is,
if it's your own inner inner self, or you know,
whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
You're so right about that. It's like, I do think
that there's a lot of external noise that comes in
when especially when it comes to faith and traditions, and
you do have to just completely block that out and
it has to be just the two of you and
like what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
And also be able to like be sometimes you have
it's it sucks to have to be the one to
be the example in your family of being like, this
is what it looks like to respect and honor other
people's religions who don't believe the same way as you. Yeah,
And it's hard because when you have a really strong
dynamic with your family and you've agreed on everything thus far,
(20:56):
and they have expectations about who you're going to be
with that could be a challenge. It's not as easy
as just like, oh, block it all out, Like I
know that's a challenge, But I think if you know
this is the person that you're supposed to be with,
I think there's room for you to let yourself grow
and you know, focus on you and your relationship and
not the external noise.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, it's really interesting because it's a question that I
get asked a lot inner faith relationships and how we
make it work. And I'm like, it's so interesting because
it's literally just both of us honoring and respecting each
other and creating our own traditions. It's never been truly,
we've never had an argument over it.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah, And I mean I think if it gets to
a point where you're only arguing about that, then maybe
he's not your person. You know. Maybe if it's that
important to where y'all can't move forward and you both
are stuck in that fight, you're just gonna grow resentful.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
And I don't think.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I think if you grew resentful about it, then you
wouldn't be a to have a healthy relationship ever. So
I think that you you know, have to figure out
where where the hesitation is coming from. Is it from you,
Is it from your boyfriend or is it from your
family and other people?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Huge, you the best.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, and it can work.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Inner faith marriages are blessing. I think the more the merrier. Yeah,
celebrate so many holidays in our house.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
They all are always celebrating.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, it's just like constant celebration.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Jody would x INMLA Recommendations Day one Scrubber Here, I've
been meaning to reach out for some time to let
you know your how about your podcast is meant to me.
Through your stories, laughter, support and genuine friendship, You've brought
an incredible sense of light and joy into my life,
and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of
my heart. You all helped me smile and giggle through
the pandemic when my fiance was deployed for a year.
In the morning commutes to work. I look forward to
(22:51):
new episodes every week and find myself re listening to
old episodes when they need a little pick me up.
My best friend and I love talking about the podcast
and even write in cards. You're the Becka to Tanya.
I'm also reaching out for some advice. I'm flying out
to la in a few weeks for a work trip
and extending my stay for a few days to explore
the city. Any recommendations of what to do and where
to eat, I'm open to anything, but will be for
(23:11):
sure hitting in and out while I'm in town. I
appreciate your thoughts. Hope you have a wonderful week. Love Jody.
That's Jody.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I we may have to turn it over to Easton
for this to ask.
Speaker 7 (23:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
No, literally, I think I'm the worst person to ask
because we just had a friend that was in town
from like, uh somewhere. They first time in LA and
they're like, where should we go? And I was like,
I have no idea. I know, I'm really bad at
this Universal Studio.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
It's like, well, there's some variables Jody that you're gonna
have to maybe have to DM me because it's like
where you're going to be into. Do you want to
see where movies are made? Do you want to see
where famous people have lost their lives? Do you want
to do you want to eat weird food? Do you
want to have good food? Do you want have bad food?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Like this?
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Want to be in like touristy area?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (24:00):
Because I love I love that kind of stuff. I
love the Walk of Fame. I love Hollywood Boulevard. I
love that that's gotten so gross. It's so it's grimy,
but that's what I.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Like about it.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
By the way, when I first moved here, and even
when I came to visit here before I moved here,
how Boulevard was fine, you know, just the street, lots
of tourists. Yeah, stars. Now it's Times Square, but in
a smaller area, like it's very crammed. The sidewalks are
packed and there's just it's just seed. It's just kind
of gross.
Speaker 6 (24:28):
Over crowdress up as Spider Man.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
People in costumes, lots of people just trying to get
money out of you. Yeah, I would.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Say you should for sure go to Santa Monica, the pier. Yeah,
it's like iconic places game end.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
Of Route sixty six.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Go up the promenade while you're over there.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yeah, maybe go to Venice, Muscle Beach.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Everything's like closed off. It used to be like amazing.
Oh really, I would say, if you're gonna do mod
hit A Grove or Maritana is good.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
What about the Magic Castle least? And should you go
to the Magic Castle.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
If you can get in that is hard to get
in it's very cool, even if you just want to
drive by and check it out. Though, Yeah, do you
have a car? Are you going to be ubering everything another?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
We might need you, Joe, do you need a.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
D M E d M at Easton? Allen, send me
a d M and I will. I will plan your
trip for you, every moment of it, even the work parts.
Where's your work event? What conference center is that in?
I'll find something cool for you. You'll find something walking
distance from Yes, yes, I will his specialty.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
We have one more, but first, all right, we're back
(25:57):
for a finale question.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
It's a fun one.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Becca, Hey Tanya.
Speaker 6 (26:02):
Hey Mark, Hey Easton?
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Is that the first time?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Hey Tanya, Hey Becca, Hey Easton, Hey Mark.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
It's scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Zerom In.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Don't go anywhere.
Speaker 6 (26:23):
It's time for the show.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
We have a good one.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Well, Courtney's email starts scrub dub dub in the tub,
dub tub, Thank you Courtney.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
She actually didn't say it, well, she said scrub.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
A dub dub with a scrub Becca Eastern Marcantania. Oh, Tanya,
it's the lowest billing scruested for all four of you.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
You probably didn't have abutical order yeah, she might.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Have, and it could be fun to write down your
answers before sharing with one another. Okay, good, you's got.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Pins over here?
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Uh? Which grade character from any of the twenty one
gazillion seasons? Do you think each of you are most like?
And why? Answer for yourselves and one another? Thanks from
a day one scrubber. This is gonna be hard for Easton.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
Yeah, I'm still gonna participate, though.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
I'm still doing all right, and we're write down me
and then you write down everybody else, right.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Okay, Well, okay, I'm having to go gut instinct because
I'm rushed.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Okay, okay, that's fine, that's better.
Speaker 6 (27:40):
I think initial reactions?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
What kind of what I did?
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Do?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
All right?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Ready, who's going to start? Mark?
Speaker 7 (27:50):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Should we do each person one at a time?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Sure?
Speaker 4 (27:52):
All right? Tanya? You ready? Becca? You're still writing? Yeah,
I'm good, Tanya. Who do you think you? Well? No,
have everybody else? Say Tanya, and then she'll say, who's you?
I have April Kepner. Tanya is most like April Kepner.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Oh interesting, I went easy.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
I thought of definitely thought of, I said, tarn Helm.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Okay, I couldn't be further from Becca has a match.
I went with Izzy.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Yeah, yeah, I did consider eazy. But how do you
feel about.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
It's pretty good? It's pretty good. But I kept most
mine o gs.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
So oh well, because you have Washington ten years April Kepner. Okay, okay, fine,
uh Becca, I we should save Becca. Let's go Eastern
next Easton?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Who uh?
Speaker 4 (28:46):
I put for Easton? Easton was a hard one for me.
I put Levi. Oh my god, I almost is a
kind soul.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
I almost.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
But I actually put George George because when he becomes
he thinks that he has like he seems like he's
going to be nervous, but then he ends up being
one of the best surgeons and like everyone loves him
and protective.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Georgia Malley as well. He's good.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
It looks cool as hell.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
He was on the podcast.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
Oh yes, I remember, Yes, I.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Remember, and even shot a little video with us.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
Yes, he did. I remember that very well.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (29:26):
Tr night, I said that I was Mick dreamy. Yeah,
I could see that. Yeah, you've kind of got the
hair of the scruffy.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (29:36):
And I'm a really good race car driver.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Yeah, definite, all right, what about me?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (29:44):
So, oh boy, I braced myself.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I went with Miranda Bailey.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
I feel like she's been around the whole time. She
keeps everyone in line, she keeps everything going. She's like
Oregon I and she's like the fearless leader.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
I'll take that. Yeah, I'm happy with that.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
I was. I had you first as chief, but like
I had a web. Yeah, Marana Bailey's better.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Yeah, like it better.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
This one's controversial, but it's I'm going to clarify, I said, Owen,
but before he cheated on Christina, so he was like
a leader in the O R and everyone was coming
to him to learn. But this was before he cheated
on Christina, before we became, before we hated him. Yeah,
so I had to, I wrote before the first season, first.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Season, Owen, Okay, all right, just.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
To clarify, I hated on from the start.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
No, you didn't know I did.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Actually, no, I don't believe that we are we did.
I didn't start hitting him till you chewed on Christina.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I hated him from day one.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
He's been on the show for one hundred years. It's
basically East who do you think I'm most likely in
the show? You don't watch, so I apologize.
Speaker 6 (30:50):
I could only name a few characters on the show,
so I had to kind of pull from that. So
I think you are most like Meredith Gray.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Because you are.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
You do hold it very leadership role on this podcast
and in my life, and I look up to you
as the name of the show. Thank you, Mark's Anatomy
over here.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Very nice? All right, Becca, what did you say for myself?
I said, Alex Karev.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Almost like Correv, like Alex Corre in torture.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I don't know I related to him for some reason.
The other person I put down to Tom Carrassic. I
think it's kind of I get that too.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, I can see he's too cranky, but he's sarcastic.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
He's funny.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Yeah, he's funny.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
I just I think Branda Bailey wins.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
I like him, Marda Biley, and I'll think of that.
I watch it, all right, Becca, telling you who you say.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
For Becca, it's so obvious Meredith Gray. She's so Meredith Gray.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
Like Meredith Grey.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
She's depressed like.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
She didn't used to be. She didn't used to be.
She didn't used to be, she did not used to be.
She loved her friends, fearlessly. She was like the best
friend ever to Christina Yang. She would like chew guys
up and spit them out, like had no feelings whatsoever.
Like you could do that for a really long time
to remember. You would like all these guys were like
(32:21):
falling all over you, and you're like, who, she's so
Meredith Gray.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
This might be a little on the nose, but I
have at Arizona Robins Classic, thank you.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
I did a beloved character Cass Beckman played by Sophia Bush, because.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Me and my open relations pretty good.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Yes exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
I mean I'm thinking pretty good for a guy who
doesn't watch the show, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Yeah, did you go? You went with Arizona. You're so
Meredith and you look like Meredith.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
We should do the walk our walk Meredith. Look all right?
That was fun little games props.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
We should give them the credit. Courtney, thank you for that.
Speaker 7 (33:19):
Job.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Well away, you're gonna be rolling around the o R
in skates.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Yeah, but I would be a Pedes. I would definitely
go peedees. And I also I said, I.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Actually said Arizona season six because that's when she really
you really show that she knows who she is and
she stands up to Calli's dad, and she's like, I
am an honorable person, and like, even though I'm not
who you wanted for your daughter, like I am who
you're getting and I love her.
Speaker 5 (33:44):
I love I loved Usca Capsule, I do too forever.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Well, that was so much fun. Eastern great work than you,
diehard fans.
Speaker 6 (33:54):
Stressful, stressful.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
We will be back next week. Don I love you,
I continued
Speaker 1 (34:11):
M hm
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Right, hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hey everyone, everyone.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
We are scrubbing.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Yeah, we need to replace it with something.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Really, But if I'm like hello Tanya, Hello Becca, Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Easton, Hello Mark, could we'll continue to work on it?
Speaker 5 (00:42):
Is that a dog?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
No, just a bark?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I was like, no, the whole point is I can't
get off of the podcast.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
It's time for scrubbing.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
In the o R.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I want to join us and don't go too far.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
All right, no more submissions.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
We have a winner, just stolen from one of the
most iconic films.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
My favorite messages from somebody that was like, does scrubbing
and have like a budget? I feel like they have
an outdated jingle. They haven't outdated this. They don't have
mic flags, they don't have whatever. I was like, dang,
the answer is no, I sent you. Did I send
you that screen?
Speaker 5 (01:37):
It was like, yeah, we have a Dear Bonnia episode today, Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
We do, and I want to start us off with
my Dear Bonia. I don't even know where I saw this.
Mobe's in our prep you might have seen it too. Anyway,
I thought this is a funny question. So would you rather,
but you have to one of these has to happen.
Would you rather walk in on your parents in bed together?
(02:05):
Or have them walk in on you in bed together?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Have them walk in on me.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Like, but not just in bed together like?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yes you would? Yes, much better for me personally.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
All right, Becca, this is really unfortunate. I think I'd
rather walk in on them.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh dang, why, I know, like a perverted answer. Really, yeah,
I think.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
It's more perverted for them to want to walk in
on me doing it.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
I don't nobody wants this to happen, it's just this happens.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I think I'd be able to like process it and
move on easier than they would.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
I think I agree, yes, because it feels like the
awkwardness it was gonna be awkwardness either way.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I guess, Mark, this is a horrible question.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Are the conversation I saw the summer I saw.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Taking a step further? What position?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
All right, fine, let's just going to the normal deer bond.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Yeah, just move on, let's move on. Answer please, I
guess I'd rather have them walking on me.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (03:28):
Better because since we didn't say what position, maybe me
and my wife are just holding hands all right?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
It was a split decision.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Better like doing like you know you're.
Speaker 6 (03:42):
Actually like mid coitus?
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yes, you are just holding hands?
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Isn't that how it's? Is there another way?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
Yes? Childless From Anika High, Banya and Meston Day one
scrubbery here, I just want to start saying thank you
for making me laugh every week. I truly admire the
relationships you all have with your significant others. I'm going
through a breakup after five years and now I'm thirty.
I'm trying to reflect them, but I want moving forward.
(04:14):
My question is, how do you actually know when someone
is the one? People always say when you know, you know,
but I'd love to hear your take on it. Becca
and Tanya. You both seem so happy in your relationships,
and I love how you talk about your partners with
so much love and respect. It's inspiring and makes me
want to hold out for that kind of connection and
not settle. You also seem like you never get sick
of each other, even though I'm sure you have your moments.
(04:35):
Any advice on how to recognize your person would be
greatly appreciated. Ps. I recently cleaned my water bottles because
I was pulling a Tanya. Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Wow, the fact that that's now called I'm considered pulling
a Tanya.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, maybe Anika can inspire you to wash your ball.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I watched it probably twice since we've had that conversation.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
Not enough, it's.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Okay to start.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, yeah, the straw is often yes, yeah, great, great, great.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Just to be clear, do you want to answer?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I don't think I know the answer, Like, how do
you know they're the one? I feel like with Robbie,
I literally knew very quickly that like my inner beings
told me that he he was it.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, I would like to say that it was the
same thing, like, it's not really something that I have
it that was specific of like I knew because she
did this. There's more something that happened like in my
like brain chemistry or something where I was like, And
I also think that one thing that I will say
is that any of the problems or issues that we've
(05:53):
had to navigate or work through, it hasn't felt like
a burden to go through the work.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Of navigating those things.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
It's been like, I want to work on this as
opposed to it being like I have to work on this.
It's been like, Okay, I want to be with you,
you want to be with me, and that's like that's
what's happening. So how do we make it as like
healthy as possible? And I've wanted to do that as
opposed to feeling like it was a burden in our relationship. Yeah,
which I feel like is if it's not the right person,
(06:23):
that going through things and working on things feels like
a heavy burden, a heavy lift, I think for me,
I guess is what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
Yeah, so that's what I would say. How do you
what do you think it is?
Speaker 6 (06:36):
I mean, I agree that it's a there's not like
a specific thing. But I think back to this. There's
this quote from Kieramo do Toro that I really like
about art, and it's art. The definition of art is
what would you risk to be in its presence? And
I always think about like I just couldn't imagine life
with that, Like when I'm with Alison, I'm like, I
can't imagine doing anything without you, and I would risk
(06:59):
everything just to be in your orbit. Yeah, And I've
never felt that way about anyone else. And that's the
fact that I popped into my head. It's like the sign,
you know.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah, Like I literally don't get sick of him. Like
I can literally have Robby next met twenty four to
seven and never get sick of him.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Yeah, Like he gets in my lap all day, I'd
be totally fine.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Yeah, lose feeling in your feet, but you're fine day
the way around.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Like I could sit on his lap all day long
and I'd be like, perfectly fine.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
I remember the revelation we had been together three years. Remember,
my wife was very young when we started dating, so
I wanted to have a long I wanted it a
long time because I didn't want her to feel like
she got married too young or didn't see anyone else,
or made a mistake. So after we began together three years,
I remember thinking, am I going to propose to this?
It's really is she the one? And I thought to myself, well,
what's the opposite? What's the alternates? The alternate is we
(07:50):
break up and go and lead separate lives and never
talk to each other again. And that was laughable and
inconceivable to me. There is no way that is my future.
That Amy's just another person in the world that I
think about every once in a while, but liv a
girl in life completely separate from me, There's no way
that's the case. And that was it. I knew, Okay,
this is it, this is the one, and I'm going
to propose.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Yeah, that's that makes sense to me. And I resonate
with that because I remember when think that when some
certain people found out about my relationship with Haley who
were important to me, and they weren't super receptive or accepting,
I was like, so, what's the alter, Like I either
do what they want or and I don't have Haley
in my life. And I was like, I can't even
fathom that. And I was willing to have to go
(08:32):
through a hard time in another relationship with someone who
I love and care about so much to be with her.
And I think that was the moment where I was like, oh,
this isn't like a fleeing or something I could just
like forget. And I remember I've said it a lot,
but I always was like I knew I would never
stop thinking about her if I wasn't with her. And
I think that's kind of the thought, which is basically
(08:53):
what you just said in different words, like the thought
of her amy, doing being with anyone else doing living
life felt like there's no way I'm not a part
of that her life.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yes, so that's it.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
That's how you know. Hope that helped a very confused
and hurt scrubber sent us this one. Hi, Becka, Tanya Mark,
and Easton. I'm a longtime listener living in a small
town in Manitoba, Canada. I bet that's nice up there.
I'd like to see Manitoba, Canada. I'm a thirty two
year old single mom of two boys, both under the
age of ten. One is named Easton.
Speaker 6 (09:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
My ex husband and I separated in twenty twenty three
and have reached the end of our separation and divorce process.
I started doing my boyfriend a little over a year ago.
We dd it for five months before introducing him to
my two boys, and it's been mostly smooth sailing. My
boyfriend is thirty seven, has never ever wanted kids of
his own, which I've known from the beginning. I don't
want more kids either. I may have assumed incorrectly, but
(09:50):
I assumed that even though he didn't want children of
his own, he wouldn't date someone with kids if he
was opposed to attending kids' events like soccer, taekwondo, et cetera,
and eventually years down the line, having more of a
step parent like role. When I've asked him why he's
so unwilling to attend these things, his response is usually,
this is exactly why I didn't want to have kids
on my own, or why would I want to go
(10:12):
to that. I tried to explain to him that my
kids have asked why he can't attend these events, and
I always have to lie and say he's working. He
always makes it seem like I'm asking for the end
of the world, and I'm not sure that I am.
The boys want him there because they love him and
they want him to be there to support them. I
feel so confused. I'm sure i'd handle the situation. I
love him deeply, which is why it's been so hard.
An the insider opinions would be greatly appreciated. A very
(10:34):
confused and hurt scrubber. It's not great.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
It's not great.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
The thing that immediately popped up in my mind is
I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Like when.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
You're in a relationship, there's that like teammate and partnership
that comes along with it, and I really tell you,
you're the only person who can speak to this in
the room really in terms of like being the person
coming into someone's life with kids.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I think the thing is that he's not. So I
think every situation's different. I don't think every step parent
or step parenting role looks the same. I think it's
dependent on your partner and that what they want that
role to be. So in my case, Robbie did want that.
He really wanted me to be a very active part
(11:28):
of the kids' lives, and I wanted the same thing.
We were really like the word sympatico in that, and
so that's kind of where that's where we took the role,
my role with the kids. And it's hard because you're
the mom and you want your partner to be involved,
(11:48):
but he really doesn't want to be involved. So I
feel like you guys have to maybe make some sort
of compromise because I also think too, if he doesn't
want that responsibility, he doesn't want kids, he doesn't want
he doesn't want that responsibility of even being a step parent,
then maybe there's a compromise you can make. Maybe doesn't
come to every game, maybe he just comes to like
one here and there or you know, like does not
(12:10):
have to be all in or all out. I feel
like he's all out?
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Is it? Is there an element of I don't want
to be around your ex husband, I don't want to
be the new guy and everybody staring at me. Is
there something there? Like I have maybe hard to believe
he has no interest in watching your kids play soccer.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Especially if he's building a relationship. Yeah, especially if he's
building a relationship with them.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think he just I think he doesn't want kids
and he probably gets to have her fifty percent of
the time by him, by herself, and he probably is
like I told you from the beginning, I didn't want kids,
And I think she's totally valid in being like, then
why would you date me if you weren't going to
have any participat participation in my kids lives?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
He is having participation in their lives because she's saying
that they love him and they want him to come.
So he's clearly like hanging out with them at some point.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
But if he I know, but if he cares and
loves them and he and she's saying they want you
to come to their events, wouldn't he go oh, like
in his mind, it's like, oh, yeah, that I didn't
really I don't really want to go to a kid's
soccer game, but like I love these kids and this
is what they want from me.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Yea, how do I show up for them? I don't
think this guy's your person.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, it's because I'm not like your guy.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
I get.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I understand his view on like if he doesn't want kids,
but why would you date someone who's who's very much
in that in that and has kids and not be.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Able to show up for them?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Because some people who are in that role like don't
have to be like that. Like I don't really know
any examples, but like I'm trying to think of like
a famous couple that just to give a good example.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
While you're thinking, I'm saying, like if she's can mean
if if this was at the very beginning, like let's
say last week was the first game, and he was like, yeah,
I'm not really into that. I don't want to go
to kids' sporting events, and then she's like, Okay, now
I have to reassess what this is. But this is
not the first time it's happened. He has like consistently
not been going and she's probably communicated like, Hey, the
boys really want you to come. I'm having to lie
(14:18):
and say that you're at work. And if he's still
not able to go, like, oh, like I should show up.
I'm in these kids' lives like I should show up,
or they're when they're doing something that's important to them.
I don't think this is the type of guy that's
going to be a partner to you or a teammate
to you.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, if that's important.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Again, it's just like, yeah, it's hard with these emails
because you want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt,
and I'm trying real hard to give this guy the
benefit of the doubt. But who doesn't want to go
see random kids off the streets are kids that you
know and watch them play soccer or dance or whatever
it is. It seems to me like I'm going to
see my friend's kids game. Yeah, our neighbors kids have
(14:59):
gone see Like it's just something to do when it's fun.
Speaker 7 (15:02):
Yeah, I don't know, it's like showing up for kids,
like kids seeing people in your Like if people like
my aunts and people came to my events when I
was in school, I remember being like, oh my gosh,
like my, oh.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Want to go to yeah, sporting them?
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Why wouldn't you?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
So I I again, we only know what we've gotten
this email about. But I think that you deserve someone
who's going to be a to and I think maybe
if there's, if there hasn't been a sit down conversation
about that it's important to you and that it's important
to the kids, then have that conversation. And if he's
not willing to compromise and be able to show up
(15:42):
for them and you, then I don't think this is
your personal or.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Maybe we understand the root of why he doesn't want
to go to these events. Maybe we start with that what.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
The root seem like?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
He's just like, yeah, I don't want kids.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
But also there's gonna be stuff he wants you to
go to that you don't want to go to. Right,
I don't know what that is. Let's go watch with
the boys. I don't want to do this, but fine,
you know is what we do.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Relationships, It's part of life. But that's the part of
being like a team. And this guy doesn't feel like
a team with you.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
No, he's got an iron team and that's just the
team have.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
An iron team.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
You can't, Tanya, did you come up with a celebrity
couple analogy for this particular situation?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
So I was saying, I was thinking maybe like Jennifer
Lopez and Ben Affleck, but it didn't quite work. Oh,
Jlo has kids, ben Affleck has kids. But I do
feel like even Jlo like showed up to ben afflecks
kids stuff and vice versa. Probably so, No, I don't
know any step parents that do not attend any of
(16:47):
their children's step children's festivity effort. Yeah, thank you, A
good idea. I tried, Dakota Johnson. I don't know those
kids are older.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Than you for working on it.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
While you're thinking about it. We're going to take a break,
(17:22):
all right. We are back with more burning questions.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Different religions, Tanya, this question is mostly for you, it says,
I mean day one, Scrubber was so happy of you
when you met Robbie and finally became a wife. I
was in a two year relationship with a man I
love and care for so deeply. I am born and
raised devout Catholic and he was raised Hindu, though he's
not necessarily religious. We recently broke up because we couldn't
come to a conclusion on how our wedding would look
(17:48):
combining traditions, etc. Can you share a bit more about
how you and Robbie had discussions around your different faith backgrounds.
I'm heartbroken and really hopeful we can find a way
to come back together. Lots of love, Anonymous.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
They broke up because they couldn't figure out read that
line again, they couldn't figure out how to have a wedding.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
That combines the traditions of Catholicism and Hinduism.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
And that broke them up.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Apparently, she says, we broke up because we couldn't come
to a conclusion. That makes me sad, But maybe I
think it's a bigger picture thing, like, well, if we
can't even figure this out, how are we going to
figure out how to raise kids together and all these
other things? You know?
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, I think that when it came to faith and
traditions and everything that comes in that realm of things,
Robbie respected mine and I respected his, and we kind
of took like an all hands on deck approach. We
(18:44):
celebrate all the things, we incorporate all the things. It
really and we really wanted our wedding ceremony to be
non denominational. We didn't want it to be fully one
way or the other. And it was like the easiest
thing that we've done, Like we didn't have fights about it.
(19:05):
It was literally just like what traditions, what do you
want to have? What do you want to have? And
then we both said great love it, great love it
did it? Like I feel like we just approached it
from a place of just like love and understanding on
both sides. We never truly haven't thought about it.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
And I wonder if so if they approached this from
a different way where he would suggest something that she
say something like, oh, my grandparents are never going to that,
and vice versa, he's like, oh, my family is not
going to want that to happen. You know, maybe that's
there's too many cooks in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Maybe I also think they're like, you are very committed
to your faith, and so is Robbie.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
But I also think.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
That if you're devout to your religion and your family
is really intensely developed to their religion, and you're thinking
about what is our family going to think, what's grandma
going to think? Who's a devout Catholic? I think you
get in your head about that. But I think if
you're like I think y'all have done such a beautiful
job at like honoring each other in your religions and
(20:04):
also being respectful and also being.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
Willing to learn, I think you have to kind of.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Drown out the noise of what's everyone else gonna say
and think, Yeah, and if it's if that's what it is,
if it's your own inner inner self, or you know,
whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
You're so right about that. It's like, I do think
that there's a lot of external noise that comes in
when especially when it comes to faith and traditions, and
you do have to just completely block that out and
it has to be just the two of you and
like what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
And also be able to like be sometimes you have
it's it sucks to have to be the one to
be the example in your family of being like, this
is what it looks like to respect and honor other
people's religions who don't believe the same way as you. Yeah,
And it's hard because when you have a really strong
dynamic with your family and you've agreed on everything thus far,
(20:56):
and they have expectations about who you're going to be
with that could be a challenge. It's not as easy
as just like, oh, block it all out, Like I
know that's a challenge, But I think if you know
this is the person that you're supposed to be with,
I think there's room for you to let yourself grow
and you know, focus on you and your relationship and
not the external noise.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, it's really interesting because it's a question that I
get asked a lot inner faith relationships and how we
make it work. And I'm like, it's so interesting because
it's literally just both of us honoring and respecting each
other and creating our own traditions. It's never been truly,
we've never had an argument over it.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yeah, And I mean I think if it gets to
a point where you're only arguing about that, then maybe
he's not your person. You know. Maybe if it's that
important to where y'all can't move forward and you both
are stuck in that fight, you're just gonna grow resentful.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
And I don't think.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I think if you grew resentful about it, then you
wouldn't be a to have a healthy relationship ever. So
I think that you you know, have to figure out
where where the hesitation is coming from. Is it from you,
Is it from your boyfriend or is it from your
family and other people?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Huge, you the best.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, and it can work.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Inner faith marriages are blessing. I think the more the merrier. Yeah,
celebrate so many holidays in our house.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
They all are always celebrating.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, it's just like constant celebration.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Jody would x INMLA Recommendations Day one Scrubber Here, I've
been meaning to reach out for some time to let
you know your how about your podcast is meant to me.
Through your stories, laughter, support and genuine friendship, You've brought
an incredible sense of light and joy into my life,
and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of
my heart. You all helped me smile and giggle through
the pandemic when my fiance was deployed for a year.
In the morning commutes to work. I look forward to
(22:51):
new episodes every week and find myself re listening to
old episodes when they need a little pick me up.
My best friend and I love talking about the podcast
and even write in cards. You're the Becka to Tanya.
I'm also reaching out for some advice. I'm flying out
to la in a few weeks for a work trip
and extending my stay for a few days to explore
the city. Any recommendations of what to do and where
to eat, I'm open to anything, but will be for
(23:11):
sure hitting in and out while I'm in town. I
appreciate your thoughts. Hope you have a wonderful week. Love Jody.
That's Jody.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I we may have to turn it over to Easton
for this to ask.
Speaker 7 (23:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
No, literally, I think I'm the worst person to ask
because we just had a friend that was in town
from like, uh somewhere. They first time in LA and
they're like, where should we go? And I was like,
I have no idea. I know, I'm really bad at
this Universal Studio.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
It's like, well, there's some variables Jody that you're gonna
have to maybe have to DM me because it's like
where you're going to be into. Do you want to
see where movies are made? Do you want to see
where famous people have lost their lives? Do you want
to do you want to eat weird food? Do you
want to have good food? Do you want have bad food?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Like this?
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Want to be in like touristy area?
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (24:00):
Because I love I love that kind of stuff. I
love the Walk of Fame. I love Hollywood Boulevard. I
love that that's gotten so gross. It's so it's grimy,
but that's what I.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Like about it.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
By the way, when I first moved here, and even
when I came to visit here before I moved here,
how Boulevard was fine, you know, just the street, lots
of tourists. Yeah, stars. Now it's Times Square, but in
a smaller area, like it's very crammed. The sidewalks are
packed and there's just it's just seed. It's just kind
of gross.
Speaker 6 (24:28):
Over crowdress up as Spider Man.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
People in costumes, lots of people just trying to get
money out of you. Yeah, I would.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Say you should for sure go to Santa Monica, the pier. Yeah,
it's like iconic places game end.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
Of Route sixty six.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Go up the promenade while you're over there.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Yeah, maybe go to Venice, Muscle Beach.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Everything's like closed off. It used to be like amazing.
Oh really, I would say, if you're gonna do mod
hit A Grove or Maritana is good.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
What about the Magic Castle least? And should you go
to the Magic Castle.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
If you can get in that is hard to get
in it's very cool, even if you just want to
drive by and check it out. Though, Yeah, do you
have a car? Are you going to be ubering everything another?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
We might need you, Joe, do you need a.
Speaker 6 (25:13):
D M E d M at Easton? Allen, send me
a d M and I will. I will plan your
trip for you, every moment of it, even the work parts.
Where's your work event? What conference center is that in?
I'll find something cool for you. You'll find something walking
distance from Yes, yes, I will his specialty.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
We have one more, but first, all right, we're back
(25:57):
for a finale question.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
It's a fun one.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Becca, Hey Tanya.
Speaker 6 (26:02):
Hey Mark, Hey Easton?
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Is that the first time?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Hey Tanya, Hey Becca, Hey Easton, Hey Mark.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
It's scrubbing in.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Zerom In.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Don't go anywhere.
Speaker 6 (26:23):
It's time for the show.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
We have a good one.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
Well, Courtney's email starts scrub dub dub in the tub,
dub tub, Thank you Courtney.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
She actually didn't say it, well, she said scrub.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
A dub dub with a scrub Becca Eastern Marcantania. Oh, Tanya,
it's the lowest billing scruested for all four of you.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
You probably didn't have abutical order yeah, she might.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Have, and it could be fun to write down your
answers before sharing with one another. Okay, good, you's got.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Pins over here?
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Uh? Which grade character from any of the twenty one
gazillion seasons? Do you think each of you are most like?
And why? Answer for yourselves and one another? Thanks from
a day one scrubber. This is gonna be hard for Easton.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
Yeah, I'm still gonna participate, though.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
I'm still doing all right, and we're write down me
and then you write down everybody else, right.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Okay, Well, okay, I'm having to go gut instinct because
I'm rushed.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Okay, okay, that's fine, that's better.
Speaker 6 (27:40):
I think initial reactions?
Speaker 1 (27:43):
What kind of what I did?
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Do?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
All right?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Ready, who's going to start? Mark?
Speaker 7 (27:50):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Should we do each person one at a time?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Sure?
Speaker 4 (27:52):
All right? Tanya? You ready? Becca? You're still writing? Yeah,
I'm good, Tanya. Who do you think you? Well? No,
have everybody else? Say Tanya, and then she'll say, who's you?
I have April Kepner. Tanya is most like April Kepner.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Oh interesting, I went easy.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
I thought of definitely thought of, I said, tarn Helm.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Okay, I couldn't be further from Becca has a match.
I went with Izzy.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Yeah, yeah, I did consider eazy. But how do you
feel about.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
It's pretty good? It's pretty good. But I kept most
mine o gs.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
So oh well, because you have Washington ten years April Kepner. Okay, okay, fine,
uh Becca, I we should save Becca. Let's go Eastern
next Easton?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Who uh?
Speaker 4 (28:46):
I put for Easton? Easton was a hard one for me.
I put Levi. Oh my god, I almost is a
kind soul.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
I almost.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
But I actually put George George because when he becomes
he thinks that he has like he seems like he's
going to be nervous, but then he ends up being
one of the best surgeons and like everyone loves him
and protective.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Georgia Malley as well. He's good.
Speaker 6 (29:14):
It looks cool as hell.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
He was on the podcast.
Speaker 6 (29:17):
Oh yes, I remember, Yes, I.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Remember, and even shot a little video with us.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
Yes, he did. I remember that very well.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (29:26):
Tr night, I said that I was Mick dreamy. Yeah,
I could see that. Yeah, you've kind of got the
hair of the scruffy.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (29:36):
And I'm a really good race car driver.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
Yeah, definite, all right, what about me?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (29:44):
So, oh boy, I braced myself.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
I went with Miranda Bailey.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
I feel like she's been around the whole time. She
keeps everyone in line, she keeps everything going. She's like
Oregon I and she's like the fearless leader.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
I'll take that. Yeah, I'm happy with that.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
I was. I had you first as chief, but like
I had a web. Yeah, Marana Bailey's better.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Yeah, like it better.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
This one's controversial, but it's I'm going to clarify, I said, Owen,
but before he cheated on Christina, so he was like
a leader in the O R and everyone was coming
to him to learn. But this was before he cheated
on Christina, before we became, before we hated him. Yeah,
so I had to, I wrote before the first season, first.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Season, Owen, Okay, all right, just.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
To clarify, I hated on from the start.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
No, you didn't know I did.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Actually, no, I don't believe that we are we did.
I didn't start hitting him till you chewed on Christina.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I hated him from day one.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
He's been on the show for one hundred years. It's
basically East who do you think I'm most likely in
the show? You don't watch, so I apologize.
Speaker 6 (30:50):
I could only name a few characters on the show,
so I had to kind of pull from that. So
I think you are most like Meredith Gray.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Because you are.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
You do hold it very leadership role on this podcast
and in my life, and I look up to you
as the name of the show. Thank you, Mark's Anatomy
over here.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Very nice? All right, Becca, what did you say for myself?
I said, Alex Karev.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Almost like Correv, like Alex Corre in torture.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I don't know I related to him for some reason.
The other person I put down to Tom Carrassic. I
think it's kind of I get that too.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah, I can see he's too cranky, but he's sarcastic.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
He's funny.
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Yeah, he's funny.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
I just I think Branda Bailey wins.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
I like him, Marda Biley, and I'll think of that.
I watch it, all right, Becca, telling you who you say.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
For Becca, it's so obvious Meredith Gray. She's so Meredith Gray.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
Like Meredith Grey.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
She's depressed like.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
She didn't used to be. She didn't used to be.
She didn't used to be, she did not used to be.
She loved her friends, fearlessly. She was like the best
friend ever to Christina Yang. She would like chew guys
up and spit them out, like had no feelings whatsoever.
Like you could do that for a really long time
to remember. You would like all these guys were like
(32:21):
falling all over you, and you're like, who, she's so
Meredith Gray.
Speaker 4 (32:26):
This might be a little on the nose, but I
have at Arizona Robins Classic, thank you.
Speaker 6 (32:31):
I did a beloved character Cass Beckman played by Sophia Bush, because.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Me and my open relations pretty good.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
Yes exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
I mean I'm thinking pretty good for a guy who
doesn't watch the show, it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Yeah, did you go? You went with Arizona. You're so
Meredith and you look like Meredith.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
We should do the walk our walk Meredith. Look all right?
That was fun little games props.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
We should give them the credit. Courtney, thank you for that.
Speaker 7 (33:19):
Job.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Well away, you're gonna be rolling around the o R
in skates.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Yeah, but I would be a Pedes. I would definitely
go peedees. And I also I said, I.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Actually said Arizona season six because that's when she really
you really show that she knows who she is and
she stands up to Calli's dad, and she's like, I
am an honorable person, and like, even though I'm not
who you wanted for your daughter, like I am who
you're getting and I love her.
Speaker 5 (33:44):
I love I loved Usca Capsule, I do too forever.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Well, that was so much fun. Eastern great work than you,
diehard fans.
Speaker 6 (33:54):
Stressful, stressful.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
We will be back next week. Don I love you,
I continued
Speaker 1 (34:11):
M hm
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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