January 16, 2025 • 39 mins
It’s time for another round of Dear Banya! We help a Scrubber who’s having some friction with her brother’s girlfriend, we share some advice on how to find your people, and what do you do when a coworker is talking about you behind your back??
Plus, we bring back a popular Scrubbing In game, and we get into too much detail about Tanya’s shower routine!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So before you get into today's Dear Bonya, we just
wanted to let you know that we pre recorded this
last week before the fires in La broke out. It
was originally going to air last week, but we decided
to hold off as everyone was dealing with the devastation
here in La.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We referenced today's date being January ninth, so we wanted
you to keep that in mind before you listen.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Thank you, We love you, We love you.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrub but Dub.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Dub Wow, you know what happens on Mars.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Keep it tight, you guys, keep it tight. I'm going
to not make it tight.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
There was some intimate eye contact there with you, Mark
during that scrub Dub Dub A Dear BONDI episode.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
That guys trying to keep it tight.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Out Number one episode was very long, by the way,
probably one of our longer what.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You say that it was right, maybe at an hour.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
An hour, but yeah, quite.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
An hour, yeah, like barely under and our episodes used
to be like an hour and fifteen minutes, Like I
feel like at at the beginning.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
But it's so fun.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It is when the time flies. It's like what is time?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
What is time?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
But a number?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
You know?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But if you're enjoying thyself, why put a time stamp on it?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And That's what I'm doing right now. I'm enjoying my life.
I'm enjoying my time.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Taking sunny on three mile walks.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah. Actually I need to get out soon so that
I could take.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
For my uh because.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
A community accountability activity.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I've been doing good. I've been doing it every day.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, how have the how's the community been doing really good?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
There's like a couple people, like a good handful that
I've been posting every single day.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I know. So proud of you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Thanks, I'm proud of us too.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
We have some hard hitting questions and advice that we
need to get to, so why not start now?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
All right? Banya? This is from V dear beca Tanya Marketistern.
I was just in a relationship for rom of three
years with someone who I thought was the love of
my life, only to have my heart broken from coming
across texts from his brother on his iPad, essentially saying
he doesn't love me anymore. We were supposed to leave
the following morning to go back to my parents for Christmas,
(02:43):
which led to us parting ways and me going to
my family and him going to his. He called me
a day later and told me, no, he does love me,
but due to me being an anxious attachment style and
him being an avoidant anxious, we clashed a lot. He
said that, really, well, we never thought our relationship was beautiful.
I helped him get sober over a year and a
half of work, and he became a new man and
(03:04):
the man I had fallen in love with all over again.
We've talked since, and he suggested doing couple's therapy, but
his main concern is he doesn't know if he would
hurt me again like this if he got back together
with me. And he's now done this to me twice,
both times in which he did get better, and both
substance abuse related. But I don't know if I can
take this pain a fourth time. So I told him
if he's not confident, he also to let me go.
(03:25):
His mom reached out to me, told me I'm his
best friend and her own son is a mess and
she hopes he can figure himself out. But he's really conflicted.
She told me not to wait for him, and I
don't want to. I'm moving back home to take some
time with my family, to recoup and try to move on.
But let's say down the road he did come back
to me and fixed everything. Do I hear him out?
Any words of wisdom or advice? Tanya, you kind of
dealt with this. We broke up with Robbie and got
(03:45):
back together a few months later. How did you cope?
Any advice you can offer be appreciated. You all are
the lights that helped my morning commutes better, So thank
you for all you do.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
You know, here's the thing. Tell me if if after
the trigger of it, when you and Robbie split for
a moment, if if y'all had gotten back together and
then another another time went by, amount of time went by,
and then he did it, he did it again, I
would be so adamant about you not getting back together
(04:21):
with him, because I was pretty adamant about the first time.
I was pretty much like, what are we doing? He
ain't and I was wrong, you know, it was like
you knew what was right. But I think that ultimately,
if he kept doing things that made you feel that way,
I would be very very much like, do not get
(04:41):
back with this man?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
So I would agree.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I feel like I would echo your sentiment. However, I
do feel like when you have a history with someone
and you so badly want it to be that person,
that you kind of look past all that stuff, and like,
my only conc is if you listen to what other
people think, and let's say people are telling you don't
get back together with him, don't get back together with him,
(05:06):
and then you don't get back together with him, and
then let's just say he was the love of your life,
and then in twenty years you totally regret it because
you're like, he was my guy. Would you rather that
happen or would you rather follow your heart and do
what your heart's telling you. Maybe you get hurt again,
but at least you don't look back on your life
regretting doing something that wasn't what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I guess the thing is, though, it's like, if it's
gonna happen a fourth time, is it gonna happen a
fifth time? Like when you set your standard higher that
you deserve better?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
When is that point? Is it after two? Is it
after three? Is it after four?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
And after one.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Think she's reached that point because she said, I don't
want to. She said, I don't want she said, she
also told me not to wait on him. His mom
told her not to wait on him, and she said, which,
I don't want to. So she's already made a decision
where she's like, knows that she should probably move on
and that it's not gonna get better or be her forever.
(06:00):
But she's like you said, he's familiar, he's her best friend.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Maybe a compromise, Maybe there's a compromise, because she says,
do I hear him out. Maybe you give him a
certain amount of time, you say, come back to me
in six months and I'll hear you out. So then
that that shows that like he's really committed, he will
respect your wishes and if he really wants you, he'll
wait those six months and he'll come back and he'll
explain it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
But I think you'll go no contact, no contact. You
have to like you're not there's no way to be
middle of the road on you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Have to mentally be like that door is shut. In
six months, I'll hear him out.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
It's not locked, it's not a shut, it's shut. Yeah,
it's not locked. Maybe you won't walk it.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
You can in six months, okay, and hear him out.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I just think that you know what you like, I
know what your heart is wanting to do. It's like
your head that's wanting you to stay back because you
love him and you want him to reach his potential
and be the person that you think he can be.
But I also I think you know that you're going
to continually be disappointed.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Hard to say.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I say you shut the door. I say you take
time for yourself, get make yourself better, go to therapy,
work on your anxious attachment style, and work on being
the best and healthiest version of you with your family.
And then if you feel ready and assert set a
certain amount of time that you both go no contact,
then you can give them a chance. But you also
(07:26):
might meet someone better.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
And you deserve someone you deserve, not a work in progress,
somebody you don't have to fix y and somebody that's
not going to be sure about you. You deserve someone
who is sure about you and is already fully formed.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
He's already concerned, he doesn't want to hurt you again.
He's already like setting it up that he's going to.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Hurt you again.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
You can do better. There are so many dudes out there.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yeah, I can say with full confidence that I have
never gone to Robbie and said I'm scared I'm going
to hurt you, like never once. Right, Yes, I'm saying
him at some point or like you know, like I
may have hurt him in certain fights or whatever, but like,
I've never said those words.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Who knows him better than anyone in the entire world.
His mom, his mom, and you're his mom, is saying
to you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
He's a mess.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Go run.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You're better than that.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
You gotta go.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
That's speaking volumes because moms and their sons.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Lomy wants to keep the baby boy single, doesn't want him,
you know, and.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Even more for her to get out.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Next from anonymous, Hi, bead on your macciest. My brother
and I have been best friends, especially as adults, but
our relationship is now strained because of his girlfriend. After
I got engaged to my now fiance, Hurricane Helene disrupted
my life. I had to move it, had a lot
of stress during what should have been a joyful time.
I invited my brother's girlfriend to get her hair and
(09:01):
makeup done for my wedding, but She accused me of
only inviting her to meet a quota, which isn't true.
She has made hurtful comments, including saying she's enjoying watching
me deal with my hurricane related challenges, which I addressed
with my brother. He was initially apologetic, but later became
defensive and accused me of being passive, aggressive, and unkind
to her, which I feel is unfair. His girlfriend has
(09:23):
ignored my attempts to address the situation maturely and has
continued to make nice slash nasty remarks, leaving me feeling
hurt and unsupported. My parents think I should get over it,
but I'm struggling with how to move forward without damaging
my relationships with my family. Love you, guys, and thank you.
To be continued, well hopefully not.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, this is brutal.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Sucks when your sibling dates somebody that you don't like.
Yes it sucks.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yes, Yeah, here's the thing. But there's nothing that you
can do about it. So you have to just set boundaries.
That's literally all you can do.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
But what are the boundaries because she's really close with
her brother, So how do you set a boundary?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
You know, you just have to do it.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Dude, does she do it with him and just say, hey,
I am having.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Like not an external boundary, it's an internal boundary. So
maybe you don't hang out with them all the time.
Maybe you just hang out with them when all your
family is there. Do you know what I mean, Like
you need to help yourself having a conversation with your
brother about this. It's not gonna go well nope, I
don't think. So you either need to let this and
(10:33):
this girlfriend might become the fiance, might become the wife,
and then so on and so forth. So you have
to internally set this boundary and maybe you just hang
out with them when you hold all your family's together.
But it's a conversation that it's just not going to
go well.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, so and your family telling you to get over
it makes me feel like you don't have anyone no
on your side. So I think that I'm with Tanya.
I think you when you have to have family get togethers,
when you're around her, you can be cordial, but you
don't have to like interact with her directly or as
little as you need to. But I think maybe it's
just that you aren't going to have the same relationship
(11:13):
with him moving forward and it's just like a unfortunately
something that happens in life.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
And maybe you will someday, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, maybe he'll have a moment where he's like, yeah,
this girl, Maybe he'll take off his rose colored glasses
and see her.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Family dynamics are so tricky, and I don't know one
person that doesn't have some sort of like weird family
dynamic situation and annoying this and annoying that, a person
that doesn't want this, A sibling that makes everything about that,
like you know what I mean, Like everybody has, every
family has their own stuff. So it's like these internal
(11:50):
boundaries are life changing.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You have to have them.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
You have to have them.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Good luck or he might marry her. Either way, keep
some different instant.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Her then the boundaries. You're lucky you made those boundaries.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
My home is that he doesn't marry her. But my
other hope is that you find peace even if he does.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
And when you're around her, which you will be killer
with kindness, Yes, just be the nicest, friendliest. Oh my gosh,
you look great.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'm so happy you got your makeup and hair done
to meet my quota.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
That's so weird. Hey, let's take a break.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh, Yeah, let's do it, because when we come back,
we have a coworker who is caught talking. All right,
(12:54):
we are back this one's juicy work things since.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Jucy Anonymous again. Hi, I'm back a tidy market instant
day one scrubber here. I love the podcast and I'm
looking for my own advice. Today I walked past my
coworker's computer while she was in the bathroom in a
shared office space and her team's messages were open. I
noticed a message on the screen to Inhern, my other coworker.
I inadvertently read part of the first line of the
message as I was walking out of the office, and
(13:20):
while I cannot one hundred percent confirm without reading the rest,
I think it was about me. I've been feeling some
distance lightly between her and myself. Was unsure why it
would really hurt my feelings to know these two were
talking about me behind my back. For a background, we're
a small office. We work in healthcare. We use dark
humor to cope with burnout. Generally, I'm an anxious person
and typically think the worst and think that everyone hates me.
(13:41):
So what would you all do? Confess that I briefly
read something she left open? On a computer that I
believe could be about me and ask if we need
to clear the air and clear anything up, or should
I leave it alone. I appreciate your advice and your
weekly entertainment.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I know where I stand. Oh what it alone?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Okay? So the reason I agree with you, Typically I
would say I would just have a conversation because sometimes
it's just easier to like squash it. But because she
said I'm an anxious person and typically think the worst
and that everyone hates me, I think you might be
overthinking something very selware.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Though I really appreciate the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Self awareness, but I think you might make something bigger
and feel more.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Awkward, and you're going to feel so much more awkward.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I think if you start noticing, like if it happens again,
or you like have confirmation that they're talking about you,
then I think you bring it to her and say, like, hey,
is there something going on? I just want to like
have a conversation about it because I'm you know, I'm
anxious and I think everyone hates me, and.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I had this conversation before you at work. I don't
need to say with Mark, no.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
You thought someone here hated you?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
No, No, I don't think anybody hates me, but I think,
like I can pick up on vibes, and I was
getting like weird vibes, and so I like pulled her
aside and was like, hey.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yeah, yeah, there's something going on and you were very close.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Now it's my understanding.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Yeah yeah, okay, yeah, but you have to be ready
for like I don't. I don't know. It's hard to
explain because she said what she said.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
But well for you, So why wouldn't you encourage anonymous
to do that?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Because she has to say that she was snooping.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
And she's not undred percent sure what right mine was.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I've like I had to tell Haley I was snooping
and to have a conversation about something. And I was
like I wouldn't have been able to sleep if we
didn't have it, and she was like.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
True, I snooped and found some things too.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But it's like you just have to say, yeah. I
was walking back and I took a little peak.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I was like, Hi, this stuff better.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
No, leave it alone. You got leave it alone.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I think I think leave it alone. If something else
happened and you have confirmation that it's about you, you
have a conversation about.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
It, And let me just say a warning to all
those out there that want to be talking some smack.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
On the team's platform. Employer can seal that stuff. This
happened to a oh text people, or that.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Happened to me. The slack happened to remember a year
or two ago. Yes, a guy we work with here
and don't anymore called me an ass hat. Yes, yeah,
and he wasn't joking, like he was really frustrated with
something I had done.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Accident.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
It was sent.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
It was sent in a in a group that Mark
is not a part of, but Mike can see.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
But I didn't go looking for it, like I did
a search looking for something in slack because you can
search keywords and slack. And that conversation came up, and
I was like, oh, this is weird. Oh this happened today,
so it's a weird coincidence. And so I, since I'm
now in that group because you don't have to be invited,
I responded to that, Hey, guys, just so you know
everyone can read this, so cooler. Yeah, that was weird. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
A friend of ours was a talking smack of her
email and someone the person they're talking about happened to
see it on the screen and went to the boss
and they pulled all the emails and everyone.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Got in a lot of trouble. You should be talk
about people hunt to back anyway. It's just not bad,
you know. Yeah, yeah, nobody ever does that. I've never
done it.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I never do that. Yeah, no, no, no, But slack
is not good.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
You know.
Speaker 6 (17:16):
You know who's in charge of the slack me. I
can see it all.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
You can see everything.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
I'm just I'm just saying, if you want to talk
to some maac, you should do it in person or
on your personal phone.
Speaker 6 (17:28):
I don't I can't see. I don't look at these things.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
But this is a mouth is the whitest I've ever
seen it right now.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I mean I'm not talking about but I've said some
very intimate things on Slack.
Speaker 6 (17:38):
Yeah, and this is a like work provided platform.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Very intimate, very intimate. Who Sierra Sam intimate?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
You're you're an open book.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
So I mean true in your dropbox nudes have been Yeah,
oh my gosh, I'm not I'm not using Slack anymore.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Classic moment Also anonymous high ladies. Both of you were
in such happy relationships and you seem to have such
healthy routines. I want to know what major steps you
took to get there. I'm twenty five and feeling pretty
lonely these days. My deepest friendships are from college in
high school, which is great in some ways, but in
other ways, I just feel like I have none close
to me who sees me as the person I am
today rather than my high school self. Was there ever
(18:22):
a time you felt really alone, like after a breakup
or moving to a new place, and what did you
do to get out of that rut and find your people?
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Twenty five's tough. I found twenty five to be.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Tough quarter life crisis and less about.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
That, but like it's an age where for me, all
of my friends from high school and college were getting
married and like having kids or had just gotten married
and having kids, and I was so far from that
that I would like I would fly out for baby showers,
I'd fly out for bridle things, bridle this, bridle that,
and I would fly home alone back to LA and
(18:59):
I was like very sad about it.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I remember the Yeah, like I'd be really really like
sad about it.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
And I think because I so badly wanted that for
my life, you know what I mean, Like I wanted
to find my partner, but it just wasn't happening for
me for some reason, which is why Like now that
I'm here, it's like even more special. But but I
remember in that time being like really.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Sad, so weird. I remember why I'm like not sad.
I remember coming back from going to a shower or something,
and You're like, I'm feeling so sad right now. Like
I just feel like I'm not in the same I'm
not in the place that I thought I would be
(19:44):
at this age. Like I like vividly remember a conversation
with you about that. Yeah, And I think it is
a weird time your mid twenties. You're like kind of
trying to figure out your career. Like you're still kind
of out of like the college age. You're trying to
You're you're wanting to feel established, but you're still so young. Yeah,
you're feeling like you should, especially depending on where you're
from in the country specifically, there's like this cultural where
(20:08):
I was from, everyone was like getting married or engaged
fresh out of college and then having kids and it
was kind of like whoa.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And like here's the thing, what I realized is like
there's pros and cons to literally everything in life. There's
pros to getting married young and having kids young. There's
cons to getting married young and having kids young. There's
pros to getting married later in life. There's you know
what I mean, Like, there's pros and cons to both sides.
And I just feel like you don't see that at
twenty five, you know what I mean? You just see
(20:37):
the cons of the path that you're on for some reason, you.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
That's the wisdom that comes with age, as cliche as
that is, and I try to impart that to my daughters,
that everything is going to work out exactly the way
it's supposed to work out. And then that happened for you, Yeah,
and that happened for you, It happened for all of us.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
But we've all had those moments, where is it going
to happen for me? What's going to happen to me?
It's all going to work out just fine. It may
not be what you plan, not it being right, but
when you get into your fifties and sixties, you realize,
you know, that all worked out just fine.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, Because then I have people who were like in
their forties who were like, I wish I would have
gotten married in my twenties because I would not have
married this person.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, So it's like it's just you just there's.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Good and bad in everything, and I just feel like
twenty five is a yeah, tough age.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Twenty five was the year I went on The Bachelor,
and it was like such a time of my life
while I was like very much like why not. And
it's so funny because I remember being younger and thinking
like by twenty five, I'll be married with two kids,
and next thing I knew, I'm going on a reality
show like trying to get validated by a rose.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
It was like I couldn't have thought of a different
way that my life would go. And then I went
on and the reason that I was able to meet
Haley is because I went on the show. Yeah, and
I met you know, I met people that led me
to Haley. And it's like sometimes what Mark said is
so true, Like everything that is supposed to happen is
going to happen because that's how life works.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Everything that's meant for you will find you. Yes, and
also your dreams change, Like if you could talk to
teenage Becca right now, she would say to you, well,
am I married? Do I have to cant? And you'd
say absolutely not. And they'd be like, oh no, you'd say, no,
you don't get here. I would be the case. Everything
changes as you know, I try to you know, my
kids have big dreams. Are teenagers, right, They have big dreams,
(22:24):
And I'm like, all your dreams are not going to
come true. But that's because dreams changed throughout the years
and that's okay, and that's how it should be and
that's a beautiful thing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Anyway, but what she was saying also she's feeling like
really alone, like she doesn't have friends.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
I feel like, no, we have. I think we have.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
But I feel like also finding friends that are in
similar seasons of life too, is like really important, because
I like, I really nourished new friendships that I met,
you know, later on in life, but that that that
really became Those were my pivotal years, you know what
I mean. And so I think finding people in the
same season of life is also really important too.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, like finding groups and like going to like places
where you can find a community that people have the
same interest because you are in that phase of life
where there's that two roads and if you're you want
to find people who are on the same road as
you because you getting to experience life with friends and
experiences is like the best thing ever. I am so
(23:21):
obsessed with Haley and I love our relationship and being
in a relationship with her. And I also had such
a great time before I met Haley because I was
I had relationships outside of a romantic relationship that were
so meaningful. So I think finding those those people is
crucial for you right now. Yeah, to make an effort
to do.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
That, definitely, But don't take Beca because she's mine.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, I'm I'm tied up. I got a lot, I
got a lot, a lot of people to please support.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Well, we've got some lighter ones with should we take
a break? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (24:18):
All right, we are back with some hard hitting finale.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
I like these final ones. These are my favorite ones
in the Dear Bonias. It's the last question is Emily
E M M A L E E. By the way,
Emily a lot of letters. Can the girls please do
another truth or drinks?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
So?
Speaker 4 (24:36):
And can we please ask Tanya if she has actually
started washing her feet in the shower since Robbie asked
her to, I have to know this debate has always
made me laugh so hard. Love you all more than
I can put into words. You've all been so kind
when I've met you in this podcast has brought me
joyce since day one. Emily, that's lovely. Well, Tanya, you
wash my feet.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
But it's so funny actually, So we literally just had
this conversation over New Year as I asked, like our
friend group, I go, do you guys, how many showers
do you take a day?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Because I was convinced everybody takes two? Yeah, most people
take one.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yeah, most people take one.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, I think most people take one. The crucial thing
is that you take the night shower.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
No no, no, no no no, it's morning.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Shower for people, so they'd get dirty with out door
they have outside air on them.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Outside air in their beds.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yes, I did an informal poll, and I actually maybe
would like the scrubbers to.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Chime in on this. Are you a morning shower a
night shower?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Because I too thought, okay, if you're only taking one,
you're defa taking the night Oh no, no, no, no,
it's the morning. Because you can't go around people not
having shower, but you can get into your bed like
who cares?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I know, But.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Anyways, I get in the shower, I wash my hot spots,
my arm pits, my vagina, my butt, and my feet spot.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
I don't think I like hot spots, but basically do
is you added feed to your list of hot spots?
And when you do what you do one at a time,
like you're standing and you lift one up or is
there a sitting or is there a crouching or a
lead with the feet.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
That's why it's so annoying because you do one at
a time. I put one up on the thing, I
wash it.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
What is the thing? It's like a little little ben.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I wouldn't say it's a bench, but it's like a
little indent where like the shampoos go can't really.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
So it's low because our shampoo is like almost did
eye like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
No, no, it's it's lower. It's lower.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
But I wouldn't say you can't sit on it. It's
not like a bench, but it's just a little indent.
I put my foot there. I wash it with in
between my toes.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Like that in between your toes with just your hands
or right hands, no loof and no spote, No, that's
another conversation.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And then I washed the other one and then out
quick two minutes.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
So legs go unwashed, unwashed, back, unwashed, unwashed belly, unwashed ears.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Sometimes when I wash my hair, I'll wash my hair,
so maybe like two or three times a week.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Facial washing is a separate thing.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Every day, every day, morning and night. The face gets yeah, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
No, I'm just listening learning.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I find this all fashioned.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Really, I wash every inch of my body two times
a day, once a day. I washed my face every
single Well, it depends on if I'm.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
See how the story changes.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
What I don't what today I try today? No, No,
I wash my face. I washed my face when I
wake up, Okay, And and then like if I'm if
I'm going somewhere where I'm like getting dressed up, like
I'll shower like today, I shower like body shower, not
hair right right right, and then tonight I'll shower right.
But I wish everything when I shower. Washing my hair
(27:46):
feels excessive, probably not great. My skin's very drying.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Arms, back, How do you get the back?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I will so I do this, and I do this, so.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
That does She's reaching off her shoulder around.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
So do you want to hear my whole? Okay? Yeah,
So when I first get in the shower or the bath,
I do my back first, my upper back and behind
my ears, my neck that. Yeah, and I use my
like I have face washed that I use for that
because I want that all to be like clean and
like like use the same stuff on my face behind
(28:25):
my ears, and then I do the rest of my
body all the way down behind your ears and then
my face.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
So top to your top to bottom. Yeah, start with
the ears, and.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
You know, I start with the neck and back and
then down and then do my face, but you work.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Your way down, yes, okay. And you do wash your
feet specifically, yes, yes, bottoms and tops between the toes. Yes,
I see any kind of lufah sponge or anything.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I alternate lufah. But like after loofah gets to a
certain place, then I don't want to use anything of
them my hands because it's like is this collect thing
like bacteria. I don't do that on my imaginal though.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I don't use a loofa down there okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Okay, wow, I hope this clear thing.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Showers are not meant to be enjoyed. They're like mechanicals.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
It's so enjoyable. He's like, oh my god, if you
have if you take a if you become a bath person,
A bath is like the best thing in the world.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Like I could literally make dinner, do the dishes, and
like walk the dog while you shower.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
I luxuriate in the shower.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
How often do you use a towel?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
A good question before you watch it or get a
new one.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I would say I use it. I would say two
to three times.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well, if I'm counting both my showers, so that would
be twice a day, three day, So I use it
six times.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, so three like three days.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
So I used to be a one and done wow
every shower, and then I like.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
A tissue box of towels over there.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
And then I moved out of my parents' house to
pay for my those coins got to be pretty steep.
But now I'm doing, Uh, I do once a day,
one towel a day, so like I use it in
the morning and at night, and then I ditch that towel.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Oh, that's quite impressed. Yeah, a lot of model laundry.
What about you mark?
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Which part of this are we discussing the towels.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Really, whatever you want to share here.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
You know what's sad. I'm not sure how often the
towels get washed.
Speaker 6 (30:38):
It's man, I'm sorry. How often does one appear?
Speaker 4 (30:44):
But it's every once in a while, it's gone, and
then it's back shortly thereafter. Sometimes I'll collect them and
bring them down. But I don't know that we have
a regular schedule on that. I'm not sure if it's
every three days, four days, I'm not I'm not sure,
but I don't But whatever whatever we do is right.
I'm fine with it.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
Because there was a thing on the internet a few
years ago about how men will dry their genitals and
then use that on their face, like the next day
the same and saying the towel forgets about it.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
But I think the same till as Robbie my genitals.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Oh I have genitals right?
Speaker 2 (31:21):
No, no, no, the towel when you get out, I
dry my bag, dry my butt like I.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Dry all the things. And then the next day I
don't remember what that is, and it was right on
my face.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
That's so gross.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I never thought of it like that. I am disgusted
with myself.
Speaker 6 (31:37):
I've just been sitting there collecting.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
You can't overthink these things because you can only do
so much.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I have to do it every day now. I have
to wash my towel every day.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
No, you don't. Life too short.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
You could have a handtel to get a lot of
towels and then.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
You're I'm going to do that. I feels like a lot,
but I'm gonna have two towels now.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
No, I just feel clean enough that I don't think.
I'm not worried about that. I'm getting all the shower.
I'm like the cleanest.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I know.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
But like, how clean can your butt crack it?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I don't know about mine? I don't know. Actually, yeah, okay,
let's round this out with Tammy.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
All right, Tammy says Hi Beckat on your market Eastern. First,
I want to start off by saying, how about you
guys make me laugh? I started listening to the podcast
from the beginning of listening to the podcast in the
beginning again, and every episode I'm laughing. I told my
mom about you guys, and she's been loving listening to
you as well. It's always the best listening to the
four of you. As I've been listening to old episodes,
(32:54):
I wanted to see if you guys could bring back
those fun games used to play, like Jeopardy or doing
prank calls to listeners were really fun. Those are probably illegal,
but still I love you all and I can't wait
to see our girl Tanya marry her red Star this year.
From a Day One listener, Tammy and her.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Mom, Tammy and Tammy's mom.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Wow, Yeah, we should bring back those games. Those are fun.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
The Jeopardy schedule a lot of work. But if you
guys want games, I'll do games you don't.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Have to do.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
We were doing them like off you were put to
work on those. I was we could do like one
every you know, throwing a.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Quarter it's a quarter well, and the ones like Celerity
birthday game in the high Low game we can do
any time you want. I'm always ready for those.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
The game I played last night is we played like
a second of like a Taylor Slift song to see
who could get fun. Taylor Banks got it.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
I imagine you guys.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
It was the craziest thing. It'd be like a note
and she she would just and it'd be a song.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Yea deep cut, deep cut. Wait, can we play one
birthday game?
Speaker 4 (34:04):
Yeah? By the way, A game I'd like to recommend
to you is a board game called The Chameleon. We
played it a lot over the holidays and it is
very fun.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Of a chameleon, I mean sorry, I love a good
board game.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
Go through where everybody in the room, you know, the
category is fast food restaurants, and everyone in the room,
everyone in the circle we played with like eight people
knows it's McDonald except for one person that's the chameleon.
And each person gives a word that implies that they
know as McDonald's, like say burger, nuggets, fries, whatever, And
(34:37):
then at the end you all discuss which of you
was full of it because somebody's got to fake it
because they don't know what it is. But if the
other people who do know what are too obvious arches Ronald,
it's so obvious that the chameleon is going to figure
it out and they're going to be able to give
a legit clue.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
But who how do you pick the chameleon?
Speaker 4 (34:55):
It's just it's it's randomly chosen. It's delt.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Does sound funny?
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Really fun.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
We played a lot of fish Bowl over the break,
which was I love fish. Yeah, the bonding experience really
is yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
All right, here we go. Let's look at I messed
it up. Let's look at today's birthdays. Today is January ninth,
twenty twenty five. We're gonna start with Neded dough Brev,
nined do Brev, Vampire Diaries and whatnot. Tanya, you will begin.
How old is Nina dough Brev today?
Speaker 3 (35:27):
She is thirty four? Becca thirty no younger older?
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Well, it depends if we want all three of you.
I can't. Oh, okay, so thirty four.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
Thirty eight, thirty six, she is thirty five.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Tanya gets it because Easton went over. That is the tiebreaker.
One point for Tanya. Next up, Princess Kate Middleton has
a birthday today. How old is she?
Speaker 3 (35:51):
She's forty three?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Do you know that? Or you're just gussing?
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Well, she is forty three?
Speaker 1 (35:56):
That one really good on the rundown.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
How do you know that? Sean Paul, Sean Paul Gifted
reggaetone rapper, Sean Paul Eastern You can start with this one.
Shut up.
Speaker 6 (36:08):
He's forty two, forty.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Two, Tanya, fifty five, fifty five, Beca fifty one.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Fifty one is he's fifty two now fifty one. Becca
wins that one. How about Dave Matthews. Everybody loves Dave Matthews.
How old is Dave Matthews? Becca, you start this one.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I'm going to say he's Dave Matthews is probably forty eight.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Forty eight. On Dave Matthews Easton, I'm saying he's fifty
one fifty one, Tanya, fifty eight fifty seven.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
That's one for Tanya, right, Dave Matthews man right along.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
We'll have some birthdays tomorrow, because that's about it for today.
But Renee Rap How old is Renee Wrap today? Tanya?
Twenty four twenty four, Becca.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
I'm going to say twenty six.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
Twenty six, twenty seven, twenty seven today she turns twenty five,
which is a tough age we learned to Tanya gets
that one because she went under. She's got a nice lead,
and let's see if anybody can catch up. Catchup. Andrea Swift,
that's right, the mother of Taylor Eastern Okay.
Speaker 6 (37:13):
Andrea Swift is.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Sixty nine sixty nine, Tanya sixty five sixty five. Becca,
she is sixty six. Another one for Tanya. My goodness,
she is really on it. How it's so true, holds
Rod Stewart today tomorrow. Rod Stewart start, Yeah, that's right,
(37:40):
I'll throw it out. That's okay, we can move on.
We're going to Saturday.
Speaker 6 (37:43):
Mary J.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Blige, Tanya sixty sixty, fifty nine east fifty five. She
is fifty three four today, fifty four to the Easton
gets that one. Very nice. I'll do a couple more
here you would be with your guests.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I was like, well, she's a whit older than I'm
going day.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
I'm going to Sunday. Oh, okay, Zane Malick, Zane Malick.
How old is here today? Former member of One Direction
Becca thirty two thirty two is correct? Very you know,
so One directioners. How about Jeff Bezos, the guy who
owns Amazon, one of the richest men in the world.
How old is he today? Let's go with Easton. Jeff
(38:29):
Bezos is fifty eight, Tanya sixty five six sixty two
sixty one. So Becca gets that one, and let's go
with Sunday is a birthday for Oh, this is a
good one. The woman of the Hour, one of the
(38:51):
most talked about people in America over the last month,
Cynthia Arrivo, How old is Cynthia Arrivo. As of yesterday,
we're gonna start this one with Easton.
Speaker 6 (39:03):
Cynthia Rivo is thirty.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
Three, okay, Tanya thirty five, Becca thirty four. Another one
for Tanya thirty eight today. Wow, so we just did
ten celebrities. Tony, you got six, Becca three Easton one
way to go town. Very nice. It's a celebrity birthday game.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
You're the nine baby, You're ready.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
You're ready for that.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Well, on that note, a Tania victory to start the
year with the year of the nine.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Right, that's the.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
End of the episode.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Gotta go.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I'm afraid.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
So it's afraid.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
So what I'm saying now to continued, we love you
some enjoying ch
So before you get into today's Dear Bonya, we just
wanted to let you know that we pre recorded this
last week before the fires in La broke out. It
was originally going to air last week, but we decided
to hold off as everyone was dealing with the devastation
here in La.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We referenced today's date being January ninth, so we wanted
you to keep that in mind before you listen.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Thank you, We love you, We love you.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrub but Dub.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Dub Wow, you know what happens on Mars.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Keep it tight, you guys, keep it tight. I'm going
to not make it tight.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
There was some intimate eye contact there with you, Mark
during that scrub Dub Dub A Dear BONDI episode.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
That guys trying to keep it tight.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Out Number one episode was very long, by the way,
probably one of our longer what.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
You say that it was right, maybe at an hour.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
An hour, but yeah, quite.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
An hour, yeah, like barely under and our episodes used
to be like an hour and fifteen minutes, Like I
feel like at at the beginning.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
But it's so fun.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It is when the time flies. It's like what is time?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
What is time?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
But a number?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
You know?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
But if you're enjoying thyself, why put a time stamp on it?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And That's what I'm doing right now. I'm enjoying my life.
I'm enjoying my time.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Taking sunny on three mile walks.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah. Actually I need to get out soon so that
I could take.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
For my uh because.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
A community accountability activity.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
I've been doing good. I've been doing it every day.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, how have the how's the community been doing really good?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
There's like a couple people, like a good handful that
I've been posting every single day.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I know. So proud of you guys.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Thanks, I'm proud of us too.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
We have some hard hitting questions and advice that we
need to get to, so why not start now?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
All right? Banya? This is from V dear beca Tanya Marketistern.
I was just in a relationship for rom of three
years with someone who I thought was the love of
my life, only to have my heart broken from coming
across texts from his brother on his iPad, essentially saying
he doesn't love me anymore. We were supposed to leave
the following morning to go back to my parents for Christmas,
(02:43):
which led to us parting ways and me going to
my family and him going to his. He called me
a day later and told me, no, he does love me,
but due to me being an anxious attachment style and
him being an avoidant anxious, we clashed a lot. He
said that, really, well, we never thought our relationship was beautiful.
I helped him get sober over a year and a
half of work, and he became a new man and
(03:04):
the man I had fallen in love with all over again.
We've talked since, and he suggested doing couple's therapy, but
his main concern is he doesn't know if he would
hurt me again like this if he got back together
with me. And he's now done this to me twice,
both times in which he did get better, and both
substance abuse related. But I don't know if I can
take this pain a fourth time. So I told him
if he's not confident, he also to let me go.
(03:25):
His mom reached out to me, told me I'm his
best friend and her own son is a mess and
she hopes he can figure himself out. But he's really conflicted.
She told me not to wait for him, and I
don't want to. I'm moving back home to take some
time with my family, to recoup and try to move on.
But let's say down the road he did come back
to me and fixed everything. Do I hear him out?
Any words of wisdom or advice? Tanya, you kind of
dealt with this. We broke up with Robbie and got
(03:45):
back together a few months later. How did you cope?
Any advice you can offer be appreciated. You all are
the lights that helped my morning commutes better, So thank
you for all you do.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
You know, here's the thing. Tell me if if after
the trigger of it, when you and Robbie split for
a moment, if if y'all had gotten back together and
then another another time went by, amount of time went by,
and then he did it, he did it again, I
would be so adamant about you not getting back together
(04:21):
with him, because I was pretty adamant about the first time.
I was pretty much like, what are we doing? He
ain't and I was wrong, you know, it was like
you knew what was right. But I think that ultimately,
if he kept doing things that made you feel that way,
I would be very very much like, do not get
(04:41):
back with this man?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
So I would agree.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I feel like I would echo your sentiment. However, I
do feel like when you have a history with someone
and you so badly want it to be that person,
that you kind of look past all that stuff, and like,
my only conc is if you listen to what other
people think, and let's say people are telling you don't
get back together with him, don't get back together with him,
(05:06):
and then you don't get back together with him, and
then let's just say he was the love of your life,
and then in twenty years you totally regret it because
you're like, he was my guy. Would you rather that
happen or would you rather follow your heart and do
what your heart's telling you. Maybe you get hurt again,
but at least you don't look back on your life
regretting doing something that wasn't what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I guess the thing is, though, it's like, if it's
gonna happen a fourth time, is it gonna happen a
fifth time? Like when you set your standard higher that
you deserve better?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
When is that point? Is it after two? Is it
after three? Is it after four?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
And after one.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Think she's reached that point because she said, I don't
want to. She said, I don't want she said, she
also told me not to wait on him. His mom
told her not to wait on him, and she said, which,
I don't want to. So she's already made a decision
where she's like, knows that she should probably move on
and that it's not gonna get better or be her forever.
(06:00):
But she's like you said, he's familiar, he's her best friend.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Maybe a compromise, Maybe there's a compromise, because she says,
do I hear him out. Maybe you give him a
certain amount of time, you say, come back to me
in six months and I'll hear you out. So then
that that shows that like he's really committed, he will
respect your wishes and if he really wants you, he'll
wait those six months and he'll come back and he'll
explain it.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
But I think you'll go no contact, no contact. You
have to like you're not there's no way to be
middle of the road on you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Have to mentally be like that door is shut. In
six months, I'll hear him out.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
It's not locked, it's not a shut, it's shut. Yeah,
it's not locked. Maybe you won't walk it.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
You can in six months, okay, and hear him out.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I just think that you know what you like, I
know what your heart is wanting to do. It's like
your head that's wanting you to stay back because you
love him and you want him to reach his potential
and be the person that you think he can be.
But I also I think you know that you're going
to continually be disappointed.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Hard to say.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I say you shut the door. I say you take
time for yourself, get make yourself better, go to therapy,
work on your anxious attachment style, and work on being
the best and healthiest version of you with your family.
And then if you feel ready and assert set a
certain amount of time that you both go no contact,
then you can give them a chance. But you also
(07:26):
might meet someone better.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
And you deserve someone you deserve, not a work in progress,
somebody you don't have to fix y and somebody that's
not going to be sure about you. You deserve someone
who is sure about you and is already fully formed.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
He's already concerned, he doesn't want to hurt you again.
He's already like setting it up that he's going to.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Hurt you again.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
You can do better. There are so many dudes out there.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yeah, I can say with full confidence that I have
never gone to Robbie and said I'm scared I'm going
to hurt you, like never once. Right, Yes, I'm saying
him at some point or like you know, like I
may have hurt him in certain fights or whatever, but like,
I've never said those words.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Who knows him better than anyone in the entire world.
His mom, his mom, and you're his mom, is saying
to you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
He's a mess.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Go run.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You're better than that.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
You gotta go.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
That's speaking volumes because moms and their sons.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Lomy wants to keep the baby boy single, doesn't want him,
you know, and.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Even more for her to get out.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Next from anonymous, Hi, bead on your macciest. My brother
and I have been best friends, especially as adults, but
our relationship is now strained because of his girlfriend. After
I got engaged to my now fiance, Hurricane Helene disrupted
my life. I had to move it, had a lot
of stress during what should have been a joyful time.
I invited my brother's girlfriend to get her hair and
(09:01):
makeup done for my wedding, but She accused me of
only inviting her to meet a quota, which isn't true.
She has made hurtful comments, including saying she's enjoying watching
me deal with my hurricane related challenges, which I addressed
with my brother. He was initially apologetic, but later became
defensive and accused me of being passive, aggressive, and unkind
to her, which I feel is unfair. His girlfriend has
(09:23):
ignored my attempts to address the situation maturely and has
continued to make nice slash nasty remarks, leaving me feeling
hurt and unsupported. My parents think I should get over it,
but I'm struggling with how to move forward without damaging
my relationships with my family. Love you, guys, and thank you.
To be continued, well hopefully not.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, this is brutal.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Sucks when your sibling dates somebody that you don't like.
Yes it sucks.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yes, Yeah, here's the thing. But there's nothing that you
can do about it. So you have to just set boundaries.
That's literally all you can do.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
But what are the boundaries because she's really close with
her brother, So how do you set a boundary?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
You know, you just have to do it.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Dude, does she do it with him and just say, hey,
I am having.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Like not an external boundary, it's an internal boundary. So
maybe you don't hang out with them all the time.
Maybe you just hang out with them when all your
family is there. Do you know what I mean, Like
you need to help yourself having a conversation with your
brother about this. It's not gonna go well nope, I
don't think. So you either need to let this and
(10:33):
this girlfriend might become the fiance, might become the wife,
and then so on and so forth. So you have
to internally set this boundary and maybe you just hang
out with them when you hold all your family's together.
But it's a conversation that it's just not going to
go well.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, so and your family telling you to get over
it makes me feel like you don't have anyone no
on your side. So I think that I'm with Tanya.
I think you when you have to have family get togethers,
when you're around her, you can be cordial, but you
don't have to like interact with her directly or as
little as you need to. But I think maybe it's
just that you aren't going to have the same relationship
(11:13):
with him moving forward and it's just like a unfortunately
something that happens in life.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
And maybe you will someday, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah, maybe he'll have a moment where he's like, yeah,
this girl, Maybe he'll take off his rose colored glasses
and see her.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Family dynamics are so tricky, and I don't know one
person that doesn't have some sort of like weird family
dynamic situation and annoying this and annoying that, a person
that doesn't want this, A sibling that makes everything about that,
like you know what I mean, Like everybody has, every
family has their own stuff. So it's like these internal
(11:50):
boundaries are life changing.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
You have to have them.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
You have to have them.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Good luck or he might marry her. Either way, keep
some different instant.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Her then the boundaries. You're lucky you made those boundaries.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
My home is that he doesn't marry her. But my
other hope is that you find peace even if he does.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
And when you're around her, which you will be killer
with kindness, Yes, just be the nicest, friendliest. Oh my gosh,
you look great.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'm so happy you got your makeup and hair done
to meet my quota.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
That's so weird. Hey, let's take a break.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh, Yeah, let's do it, because when we come back,
we have a coworker who is caught talking. All right,
(12:54):
we are back this one's juicy work things since.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Jucy Anonymous again. Hi, I'm back a tidy market instant
day one scrubber here. I love the podcast and I'm
looking for my own advice. Today I walked past my
coworker's computer while she was in the bathroom in a
shared office space and her team's messages were open. I
noticed a message on the screen to Inhern, my other coworker.
I inadvertently read part of the first line of the
message as I was walking out of the office, and
(13:20):
while I cannot one hundred percent confirm without reading the rest,
I think it was about me. I've been feeling some
distance lightly between her and myself. Was unsure why it
would really hurt my feelings to know these two were
talking about me behind my back. For a background, we're
a small office. We work in healthcare. We use dark
humor to cope with burnout. Generally, I'm an anxious person
and typically think the worst and think that everyone hates me.
(13:41):
So what would you all do? Confess that I briefly
read something she left open? On a computer that I
believe could be about me and ask if we need
to clear the air and clear anything up, or should
I leave it alone. I appreciate your advice and your
weekly entertainment.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
I know where I stand. Oh what it alone?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Okay? So the reason I agree with you, Typically I
would say I would just have a conversation because sometimes
it's just easier to like squash it. But because she
said I'm an anxious person and typically think the worst
and that everyone hates me, I think you might be
overthinking something very selware.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
Though I really appreciate the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Self awareness, but I think you might make something bigger
and feel more.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Awkward, and you're going to feel so much more awkward.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I think if you start noticing, like if it happens again,
or you like have confirmation that they're talking about you,
then I think you bring it to her and say, like, hey,
is there something going on? I just want to like
have a conversation about it because I'm you know, I'm
anxious and I think everyone hates me, and.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I had this conversation before you at work. I don't
need to say with Mark, no.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
You thought someone here hated you?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
No, No, I don't think anybody hates me, but I think,
like I can pick up on vibes, and I was
getting like weird vibes, and so I like pulled her
aside and was like, hey.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
Know what you're talking about.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yeah, yeah, there's something going on and you were very close.
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Now it's my understanding.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Yeah yeah, okay, yeah, but you have to be ready
for like I don't. I don't know. It's hard to
explain because she said what she said.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
But well for you, So why wouldn't you encourage anonymous
to do that?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Because she has to say that she was snooping.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
And she's not undred percent sure what right mine was.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I've like I had to tell Haley I was snooping
and to have a conversation about something. And I was
like I wouldn't have been able to sleep if we
didn't have it, and she was like.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
True, I snooped and found some things too.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
But it's like you just have to say, yeah. I
was walking back and I took a little peak.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I was like, Hi, this stuff better.
Speaker 4 (15:42):
No, leave it alone. You got leave it alone.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I think I think leave it alone. If something else
happened and you have confirmation that it's about you, you
have a conversation about.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
It, And let me just say a warning to all
those out there that want to be talking some smack.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
On the team's platform. Employer can seal that stuff. This
happened to a oh text people, or that.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Happened to me. The slack happened to remember a year
or two ago. Yes, a guy we work with here
and don't anymore called me an ass hat. Yes, yeah,
and he wasn't joking, like he was really frustrated with
something I had done.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Accident.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
It was sent.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
It was sent in a in a group that Mark
is not a part of, but Mike can see.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
But I didn't go looking for it, like I did
a search looking for something in slack because you can
search keywords and slack. And that conversation came up, and
I was like, oh, this is weird. Oh this happened today,
so it's a weird coincidence. And so I, since I'm
now in that group because you don't have to be invited,
I responded to that, Hey, guys, just so you know
everyone can read this, so cooler. Yeah, that was weird. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
A friend of ours was a talking smack of her
email and someone the person they're talking about happened to
see it on the screen and went to the boss
and they pulled all the emails and everyone.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Got in a lot of trouble. You should be talk
about people hunt to back anyway. It's just not bad,
you know. Yeah, yeah, nobody ever does that. I've never
done it.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
I never do that. Yeah, no, no, no, But slack
is not good.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
You know.
Speaker 6 (17:16):
You know who's in charge of the slack me. I
can see it all.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
You can see everything.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
I'm just I'm just saying, if you want to talk
to some maac, you should do it in person or
on your personal phone.
Speaker 6 (17:28):
I don't I can't see. I don't look at these things.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
But this is a mouth is the whitest I've ever
seen it right now.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I mean I'm not talking about but I've said some
very intimate things on Slack.
Speaker 6 (17:38):
Yeah, and this is a like work provided platform.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Very intimate, very intimate. Who Sierra Sam intimate?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
You're you're an open book.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
So I mean true in your dropbox nudes have been Yeah,
oh my gosh, I'm not I'm not using Slack anymore.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Classic moment Also anonymous high ladies. Both of you were
in such happy relationships and you seem to have such
healthy routines. I want to know what major steps you
took to get there. I'm twenty five and feeling pretty
lonely these days. My deepest friendships are from college in
high school, which is great in some ways, but in
other ways, I just feel like I have none close
to me who sees me as the person I am
today rather than my high school self. Was there ever
(18:22):
a time you felt really alone, like after a breakup
or moving to a new place, and what did you
do to get out of that rut and find your people?
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Twenty five's tough. I found twenty five to be.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Tough quarter life crisis and less about.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
That, but like it's an age where for me, all
of my friends from high school and college were getting
married and like having kids or had just gotten married
and having kids, and I was so far from that
that I would like I would fly out for baby showers,
I'd fly out for bridle things, bridle this, bridle that,
and I would fly home alone back to LA and
(18:59):
I was like very sad about it.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I remember the Yeah, like I'd be really really like
sad about it.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
And I think because I so badly wanted that for
my life, you know what I mean, Like I wanted
to find my partner, but it just wasn't happening for
me for some reason, which is why Like now that
I'm here, it's like even more special. But but I
remember in that time being like really.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Sad, so weird. I remember why I'm like not sad.
I remember coming back from going to a shower or something,
and You're like, I'm feeling so sad right now. Like
I just feel like I'm not in the same I'm
not in the place that I thought I would be
(19:44):
at this age. Like I like vividly remember a conversation
with you about that. Yeah, And I think it is
a weird time your mid twenties. You're like kind of
trying to figure out your career. Like you're still kind
of out of like the college age. You're trying to
You're you're wanting to feel established, but you're still so young. Yeah,
you're feeling like you should, especially depending on where you're
from in the country specifically, there's like this cultural where
(20:08):
I was from, everyone was like getting married or engaged
fresh out of college and then having kids and it
was kind of like whoa.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And like here's the thing, what I realized is like
there's pros and cons to literally everything in life. There's
pros to getting married young and having kids young. There's
cons to getting married young and having kids young. There's
pros to getting married later in life. There's you know
what I mean, Like, there's pros and cons to both sides.
And I just feel like you don't see that at
twenty five, you know what I mean? You just see
(20:37):
the cons of the path that you're on for some reason, you.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
That's the wisdom that comes with age, as cliche as
that is, and I try to impart that to my daughters,
that everything is going to work out exactly the way
it's supposed to work out. And then that happened for you, Yeah,
and that happened for you, It happened for all of us.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
But we've all had those moments, where is it going
to happen for me? What's going to happen to me?
It's all going to work out just fine. It may
not be what you plan, not it being right, but
when you get into your fifties and sixties, you realize,
you know, that all worked out just fine.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, Because then I have people who were like in
their forties who were like, I wish I would have
gotten married in my twenties because I would not have
married this person.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Yeah, So it's like it's just you just there's.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Good and bad in everything, and I just feel like
twenty five is a yeah, tough age.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Twenty five was the year I went on The Bachelor,
and it was like such a time of my life
while I was like very much like why not. And
it's so funny because I remember being younger and thinking
like by twenty five, I'll be married with two kids,
and next thing I knew, I'm going on a reality
show like trying to get validated by a rose.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
You know.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
It was like I couldn't have thought of a different
way that my life would go. And then I went
on and the reason that I was able to meet
Haley is because I went on the show. Yeah, and
I met you know, I met people that led me
to Haley. And it's like sometimes what Mark said is
so true, Like everything that is supposed to happen is
going to happen because that's how life works.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Everything that's meant for you will find you. Yes, and
also your dreams change, Like if you could talk to
teenage Becca right now, she would say to you, well,
am I married? Do I have to cant? And you'd
say absolutely not. And they'd be like, oh no, you'd say, no,
you don't get here. I would be the case. Everything
changes as you know, I try to you know, my
kids have big dreams. Are teenagers, right, They have big dreams,
(22:24):
And I'm like, all your dreams are not going to
come true. But that's because dreams changed throughout the years
and that's okay, and that's how it should be and
that's a beautiful thing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Anyway, but what she was saying also she's feeling like
really alone, like she doesn't have friends.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
I feel like, no, we have. I think we have.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
But I feel like also finding friends that are in
similar seasons of life too, is like really important, because
I like, I really nourished new friendships that I met,
you know, later on in life, but that that that
really became Those were my pivotal years, you know what
I mean. And so I think finding people in the
same season of life is also really important too.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, like finding groups and like going to like places
where you can find a community that people have the
same interest because you are in that phase of life
where there's that two roads and if you're you want
to find people who are on the same road as
you because you getting to experience life with friends and
experiences is like the best thing ever. I am so
(23:21):
obsessed with Haley and I love our relationship and being
in a relationship with her. And I also had such
a great time before I met Haley because I was
I had relationships outside of a romantic relationship that were
so meaningful. So I think finding those those people is
crucial for you right now. Yeah, to make an effort
to do.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
That, definitely, But don't take Beca because she's mine.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, I'm I'm tied up. I got a lot, I
got a lot, a lot of people to please support.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Well, we've got some lighter ones with should we take
a break? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (24:18):
All right, we are back with some hard hitting finale.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
I like these final ones. These are my favorite ones
in the Dear Bonias. It's the last question is Emily
E M M A L E E. By the way,
Emily a lot of letters. Can the girls please do
another truth or drinks?
Speaker 1 (24:36):
So?
Speaker 4 (24:36):
And can we please ask Tanya if she has actually
started washing her feet in the shower since Robbie asked
her to, I have to know this debate has always
made me laugh so hard. Love you all more than
I can put into words. You've all been so kind
when I've met you in this podcast has brought me
joyce since day one. Emily, that's lovely. Well, Tanya, you
wash my feet.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
But it's so funny actually, So we literally just had
this conversation over New Year as I asked, like our
friend group, I go, do you guys, how many showers
do you take a day?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Because I was convinced everybody takes two? Yeah, most people
take one.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yeah, most people take one.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, I think most people take one. The crucial thing
is that you take the night shower.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
No no, no, no no no, it's morning.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Shower for people, so they'd get dirty with out door
they have outside air on them.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Outside air in their beds.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yes, I did an informal poll, and I actually maybe
would like the scrubbers to.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Chime in on this. Are you a morning shower a
night shower?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Because I too thought, okay, if you're only taking one,
you're defa taking the night Oh no, no, no, no,
it's the morning. Because you can't go around people not
having shower, but you can get into your bed like
who cares?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I know, But.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Anyways, I get in the shower, I wash my hot spots,
my arm pits, my vagina, my butt, and my feet spot.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
I don't think I like hot spots, but basically do
is you added feed to your list of hot spots?
And when you do what you do one at a time,
like you're standing and you lift one up or is
there a sitting or is there a crouching or a
lead with the feet.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
That's why it's so annoying because you do one at
a time. I put one up on the thing, I
wash it.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
What is the thing? It's like a little little ben.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I wouldn't say it's a bench, but it's like a
little indent where like the shampoos go can't really.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
So it's low because our shampoo is like almost did
eye like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
No, no, it's it's lower. It's lower.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
But I wouldn't say you can't sit on it. It's
not like a bench, but it's just a little indent.
I put my foot there. I wash it with in
between my toes.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Like that in between your toes with just your hands
or right hands, no loof and no spote, No, that's
another conversation.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And then I washed the other one and then out
quick two minutes.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
So legs go unwashed, unwashed, back, unwashed, unwashed belly, unwashed ears.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Sometimes when I wash my hair, I'll wash my hair,
so maybe like two or three times a week.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Facial washing is a separate thing.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Every day, every day, morning and night. The face gets yeah, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
No, I'm just listening learning.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
I find this all fashioned.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Really, I wash every inch of my body two times
a day, once a day. I washed my face every
single Well, it depends on if I'm.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
See how the story changes.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
What I don't what today I try today? No, No,
I wash my face. I washed my face when I
wake up, Okay, And and then like if I'm if
I'm going somewhere where I'm like getting dressed up, like
I'll shower like today, I shower like body shower, not
hair right right right, and then tonight I'll shower right.
But I wish everything when I shower. Washing my hair
(27:46):
feels excessive, probably not great. My skin's very drying.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Arms, back, How do you get the back?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I will so I do this, and I do this, so.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
That does She's reaching off her shoulder around.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
So do you want to hear my whole? Okay? Yeah,
So when I first get in the shower or the bath,
I do my back first, my upper back and behind
my ears, my neck that. Yeah, and I use my
like I have face washed that I use for that
because I want that all to be like clean and
like like use the same stuff on my face behind
(28:25):
my ears, and then I do the rest of my
body all the way down behind your ears and then
my face.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
So top to your top to bottom. Yeah, start with
the ears, and.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
You know, I start with the neck and back and
then down and then do my face, but you work.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Your way down, yes, okay. And you do wash your
feet specifically, yes, yes, bottoms and tops between the toes. Yes,
I see any kind of lufah sponge or anything.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I alternate lufah. But like after loofah gets to a
certain place, then I don't want to use anything of
them my hands because it's like is this collect thing
like bacteria. I don't do that on my imaginal though.
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I don't use a loofa down there okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Okay, wow, I hope this clear thing.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Showers are not meant to be enjoyed. They're like mechanicals.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
It's so enjoyable. He's like, oh my god, if you
have if you take a if you become a bath person,
A bath is like the best thing in the world.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Like I could literally make dinner, do the dishes, and
like walk the dog while you shower.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
I luxuriate in the shower.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
How often do you use a towel?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
A good question before you watch it or get a
new one.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I would say I use it. I would say two
to three times.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well, if I'm counting both my showers, so that would
be twice a day, three day, So I use it
six times.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, so three like three days.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (30:05):
So I used to be a one and done wow
every shower, and then I like.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
A tissue box of towels over there.
Speaker 5 (30:10):
And then I moved out of my parents' house to
pay for my those coins got to be pretty steep.
But now I'm doing, Uh, I do once a day,
one towel a day, so like I use it in
the morning and at night, and then I ditch that towel.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Oh, that's quite impressed. Yeah, a lot of model laundry.
What about you mark?
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Which part of this are we discussing the towels.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Really, whatever you want to share here.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
You know what's sad. I'm not sure how often the
towels get washed.
Speaker 6 (30:38):
It's man, I'm sorry. How often does one appear?
Speaker 4 (30:44):
But it's every once in a while, it's gone, and
then it's back shortly thereafter. Sometimes I'll collect them and
bring them down. But I don't know that we have
a regular schedule on that. I'm not sure if it's
every three days, four days, I'm not I'm not sure,
but I don't But whatever whatever we do is right.
I'm fine with it.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
Because there was a thing on the internet a few
years ago about how men will dry their genitals and
then use that on their face, like the next day
the same and saying the towel forgets about it.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
But I think the same till as Robbie my genitals.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Oh I have genitals right?
Speaker 2 (31:21):
No, no, no, the towel when you get out, I
dry my bag, dry my butt like I.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Dry all the things. And then the next day I
don't remember what that is, and it was right on
my face.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
That's so gross.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I never thought of it like that. I am disgusted
with myself.
Speaker 6 (31:37):
I've just been sitting there collecting.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
You can't overthink these things because you can only do
so much.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
I have to do it every day now. I have
to wash my towel every day.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
No, you don't. Life too short.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
You could have a handtel to get a lot of
towels and then.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
You're I'm going to do that. I feels like a lot,
but I'm gonna have two towels now.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
No, I just feel clean enough that I don't think.
I'm not worried about that. I'm getting all the shower.
I'm like the cleanest.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I know.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
But like, how clean can your butt crack it?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I don't know about mine? I don't know. Actually, yeah, okay,
let's round this out with Tammy.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
All right, Tammy says Hi Beckat on your market Eastern. First,
I want to start off by saying, how about you
guys make me laugh? I started listening to the podcast
from the beginning of listening to the podcast in the
beginning again, and every episode I'm laughing. I told my
mom about you guys, and she's been loving listening to
you as well. It's always the best listening to the
four of you. As I've been listening to old episodes,
(32:54):
I wanted to see if you guys could bring back
those fun games used to play, like Jeopardy or doing
prank calls to listeners were really fun. Those are probably illegal,
but still I love you all and I can't wait
to see our girl Tanya marry her red Star this year.
From a Day One listener, Tammy and her.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Mom, Tammy and Tammy's mom.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Wow, Yeah, we should bring back those games. Those are fun.
Speaker 4 (33:26):
The Jeopardy schedule a lot of work. But if you
guys want games, I'll do games you don't.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Have to do.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
We were doing them like off you were put to
work on those. I was we could do like one
every you know, throwing a.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Quarter it's a quarter well, and the ones like Celerity
birthday game in the high Low game we can do
any time you want. I'm always ready for those.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
The game I played last night is we played like
a second of like a Taylor Slift song to see
who could get fun. Taylor Banks got it.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
I imagine you guys.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
It was the craziest thing. It'd be like a note
and she she would just and it'd be a song.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Yea deep cut, deep cut. Wait, can we play one
birthday game?
Speaker 4 (34:04):
Yeah? By the way, A game I'd like to recommend
to you is a board game called The Chameleon. We
played it a lot over the holidays and it is
very fun.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Of a chameleon, I mean sorry, I love a good
board game.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
Go through where everybody in the room, you know, the
category is fast food restaurants, and everyone in the room,
everyone in the circle we played with like eight people
knows it's McDonald except for one person that's the chameleon.
And each person gives a word that implies that they
know as McDonald's, like say burger, nuggets, fries, whatever, And
(34:37):
then at the end you all discuss which of you
was full of it because somebody's got to fake it
because they don't know what it is. But if the
other people who do know what are too obvious arches Ronald,
it's so obvious that the chameleon is going to figure
it out and they're going to be able to give
a legit clue.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
But who how do you pick the chameleon?
Speaker 4 (34:55):
It's just it's it's randomly chosen. It's delt.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Does sound funny?
Speaker 4 (35:02):
Really fun.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
We played a lot of fish Bowl over the break,
which was I love fish. Yeah, the bonding experience really
is yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
All right, here we go. Let's look at I messed
it up. Let's look at today's birthdays. Today is January ninth,
twenty twenty five. We're gonna start with Neded dough Brev,
nined do Brev, Vampire Diaries and whatnot. Tanya, you will begin.
How old is Nina dough Brev today?
Speaker 3 (35:27):
She is thirty four? Becca thirty no younger older?
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Well, it depends if we want all three of you.
I can't. Oh, okay, so thirty four.
Speaker 6 (35:38):
Thirty eight, thirty six, she is thirty five.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Tanya gets it because Easton went over. That is the tiebreaker.
One point for Tanya. Next up, Princess Kate Middleton has
a birthday today. How old is she?
Speaker 3 (35:51):
She's forty three?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Do you know that? Or you're just gussing?
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Well, she is forty three?
Speaker 1 (35:56):
That one really good on the rundown.
Speaker 4 (35:59):
How do you know that? Sean Paul, Sean Paul Gifted
reggaetone rapper, Sean Paul Eastern You can start with this one.
Shut up.
Speaker 6 (36:08):
He's forty two, forty.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Two, Tanya, fifty five, fifty five, Beca fifty one.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Fifty one is he's fifty two now fifty one. Becca
wins that one. How about Dave Matthews. Everybody loves Dave Matthews.
How old is Dave Matthews? Becca, you start this one.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
I'm going to say he's Dave Matthews is probably forty eight.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
Forty eight. On Dave Matthews Easton, I'm saying he's fifty
one fifty one, Tanya, fifty eight fifty seven.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
That's one for Tanya, right, Dave Matthews man right along.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
We'll have some birthdays tomorrow, because that's about it for today.
But Renee Rap How old is Renee Wrap today? Tanya?
Twenty four twenty four, Becca.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
I'm going to say twenty six.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
Twenty six, twenty seven, twenty seven today she turns twenty five,
which is a tough age we learned to Tanya gets
that one because she went under. She's got a nice lead,
and let's see if anybody can catch up. Catchup. Andrea Swift,
that's right, the mother of Taylor Eastern Okay.
Speaker 6 (37:13):
Andrea Swift is.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Sixty nine sixty nine, Tanya sixty five sixty five. Becca,
she is sixty six. Another one for Tanya. My goodness,
she is really on it. How it's so true, holds
Rod Stewart today tomorrow. Rod Stewart start, Yeah, that's right,
(37:40):
I'll throw it out. That's okay, we can move on.
We're going to Saturday.
Speaker 6 (37:43):
Mary J.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
Blige, Tanya sixty sixty, fifty nine east fifty five. She
is fifty three four today, fifty four to the Easton
gets that one. Very nice. I'll do a couple more
here you would be with your guests.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I was like, well, she's a whit older than I'm
going day.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
I'm going to Sunday. Oh, okay, Zane Malick, Zane Malick.
How old is here today? Former member of One Direction
Becca thirty two thirty two is correct? Very you know,
so One directioners. How about Jeff Bezos, the guy who
owns Amazon, one of the richest men in the world.
How old is he today? Let's go with Easton. Jeff
(38:29):
Bezos is fifty eight, Tanya sixty five six sixty two
sixty one. So Becca gets that one, and let's go
with Sunday is a birthday for Oh, this is a
good one. The woman of the Hour, one of the
(38:51):
most talked about people in America over the last month,
Cynthia Arrivo, How old is Cynthia Arrivo. As of yesterday,
we're gonna start this one with Easton.
Speaker 6 (39:03):
Cynthia Rivo is thirty.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
Three, okay, Tanya thirty five, Becca thirty four. Another one
for Tanya thirty eight today. Wow, so we just did
ten celebrities. Tony, you got six, Becca three Easton one
way to go town. Very nice. It's a celebrity birthday game.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
You're the nine baby, You're ready.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
You're ready for that.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Well, on that note, a Tania victory to start the
year with the year of the nine.
Speaker 3 (39:38):
Right, that's the.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
End of the episode.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Gotta go.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I'm afraid.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
So it's afraid.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
So what I'm saying now to continued, we love you
some enjoying ch
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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