June 5, 2025 • 33 mins
You asked, we answered! We’re back to help some Scrubbers with our unqualified advice, including a co-worker crush, a struggling parent, and an ear piercing dilemma.
Plus, find out how Tanya scores on an impromptu flag pop quiz!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing in with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcasts Hell Love everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We are scrubbing it.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yeah, you can't see, but it's spear of fingers hello everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
By the way, here's a fun fact about Tanya. When
she records commercials for Kiss, she waves because then now
I start with hi everyone, it's Tanya, right, Tanya, And
she waves to get into the hey, the headspace of
actually someone actually saying hello to you.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I want to smile too.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I want the inflection and ffliction of my boys to
sound like I'm saying hey, I'm waving, not.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Acting like actually saying hi to you. So she waves,
No one, I will help if I'm in the studio,
and I will wait, wait back.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
It's just partnership right there.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It makes your smile more, which makes it a better commercial.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yeah, well it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. And
now the when I hear her on.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
The radio, but I'll do it now on the podcast.
Hey everyone, scrubbing anything, I'll wave every time.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Great love that you remember back in the day when
we were to like rehearse your commercials, Yes, yeah, that's crazy.
When she first started doing commercials, she had like she
was nervous about it. You know, we had to run
it a few times them like one hundred the tone right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I know, like a little duck like learning how to walk.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
They do Okay, did that sound okay?
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeahould say that.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah. Well, especially the news too. The news was like
a whole.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
No new intimidate Meal Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
There's like an inflection that you have to have, like
ending a story going into the next story. It's like
if you want to keep the train going clear.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Don't act like there's a set period, just keep it going.
And I'm like, there's a period, so I can't keep it. Guy,
I talk, Yeah, that's how I read your text messages.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's funny. I don't think that's how you talk. Well, yeah,
I really have been.
Speaker 6 (02:16):
It's interesting, you know, I forget that you're just y'all
are all on just a national radio station, and like
my cousins and people text me and be like it's
so crazy hearing you know, them talk, and then your
name's mentioned or like Ryan will mention your name.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
I feel like we mentioned your name.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yeah, yeah, you come up quite a bit.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
Yeah, honored truly, but it's so crazy because I'm just
you know, y'all are my friends.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Y'all are a big, big deal in this world, big
deal in this radio world, national, nationally.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And don't you forget it.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Yeah, don't you forget it?
Speaker 6 (03:00):
Speaking of coworkers, are first, dear bomb. Your question leads
right into.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
It, sure does. It's from an anonymous scrubber who says,
dear beca Tanya Mark. Andi's the longtime listener here. I
never miss an episode and I look forward to it
twice a week. I need help. I'm falling hard for
a close friend I've worked with for about a year
and a half, and for the past year our roles
have merged, so we spend a lot of time together
at work, texting daily, hanging out outside of work. I'm
(03:26):
openly out and a few months ago she told me
she's by Our conversations have gotten deeper, more personal, and
honestly flirty. She often compliments me, saying things like you
look beautiful, well, you always do. Recently, ad a tough
week and when I saw her, she gave me the
warmest hug and rub my back, and I'm melted. We're
both in our late thirties with kids who now hang
out to which makes me fall even harder. The tricky part,
(03:49):
I feel like we both avoid being alone together for
too long, almost like we're keeping a buffer. Her divorce
will be final in about a month. Friends have even
commented on our connection. But I'm scared to make a
move and losing her. I've been working on myself while single,
and she's doing the same. Part of me thinks I
should wait until her divorce is final, but another part
of me wonders if I'm just pretending not to be
in love with her and hoping it fades. She's not
(04:11):
only beautiful, she is kind, loyal, honest, and has the
most compassionate heart. What should I do here? I'd love
any advice.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Make your move, Yeah, make the move.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I also.
Speaker 6 (04:23):
I will compliment someone like I'll be like, oh, you know, Tanya, you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Look so beautiful today. But if I was like you
always do.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I would definitely think you're flirting.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
Yeah, there's just like it's different giving a compliment, but then.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, like it's like, oh, I love your outfit, I'd
love to see you without it.
Speaker 7 (04:43):
Onto That definitely is a tall tale sign of flirting. Yeah,
but I think y'all both are feeling it. I I
don't know if it's a I mean, I think you
could wait until her, if her divorce is finally maybe
she's waiting for that thing, keeping keeping y'alls alone, time limited,
(05:05):
Maybe the vanish is final.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, but like these paperwork and stuff, this stuff takes
so much longer PaperWorks work. I say, you dig in now,
there's no time.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
If not now.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
When?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
If not you, who, if not her?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Who?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
If it's not now, it's not if it's.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Not why no? Not here?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Not here? Where?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Here's my here's my thing?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Though?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
When when you're going through it?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Because that's why?
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Is it like one of those things where there might
be uh some legality things of making sure the divorce
is final in terms of child support.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, that's involved. I think wait for them. It's only
a month. Keep keep flirting, keep establishing a foundation. Divorce
is final, we move in.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, this is a month, a month away.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I don't think it's gonna be a month.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
I think it's gonna be more well what we have.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
But I'm just saying she might.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Think, you know, what's in a month? The fourth of
July is a month from today.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
That's cra Also, no one wished me Happy Pride as
part of the l g B t q U.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
I mon, it's your your month only.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
No, it's not just my month, correct, it's everyone's month.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yes, happy Pride month. Are you offended that we didn't
tell you?
Speaker 7 (06:42):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
No, no, But he was just saying, you know what's
in the month fourth of July?
Speaker 8 (06:45):
So I just skipped Rainbow flag?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Why are you rushing Pride month?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Mark?
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Are you going to the Pride Pride?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I don't know. Haley wanted to do something for Pride,
but I don't know what we're gonna do. I've never
been to the parade. We've been to like the concert
that because Haley performed with Fletcher.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, but it was a little late for me personally.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
I don't have a big crowd, yeah, and I don't
love like a big crowd during the day and like
the heat.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So yeah, but we'll probably do something. Okay, I'll let
you know if you want to.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Love me not because I might be there as well.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
You might be roaming the streets.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah on Sunday?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Oh really?
Speaker 9 (07:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:26):
With whom wouldn't you like to know. Yeah, my husband.
Well yeah, so anyway, by.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
The way, I haven't eat pride story. I thought this
is really cool in Utah. Utah is a very conservative state, yes,
and like many conservative states, they're trying to ban pride flags,
which is because we live in a weird, messed up world.
But whatever, so Utah did. They said, you can no
longer fly any flags on government property except the American flag,
the state flag of Utah, an official city flag or
(07:57):
maybe an Olympic flag or something like that. Just a
strict list of all these things. So Salt Lake City
said fine. They immediately designed a rainbow city flag with
the city the logo Salt Lake City in the midst
of a huge rainbow, and they fly it proudly oh
the state capitol. Because that's not legal because they made
it an official city flag, and I rule, how would.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
They do that?
Speaker 3 (08:19):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
How did they do that?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Which part put.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
It on the They put it like up and they
just like redesigned the flag.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
They read they made you can have multiple city flags.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Sol has a logo on I don't know the Salt
Lake City Excuse me, I don't know the UTA. That's
a flag let's do it like if it was a
United States flag. So they would just take out like
the blue and the white wait, yeah, the blue and
the white stripes, and they would make that like rainbow,
and then they would put the fifty stars like in
the thing.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
We have red and white stripes on the American flag.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Another day, spread and white red and white stripes.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Are they put You're not to mess with the American flag.
That's not like they're fine flat and city flags are
a little bit flags. And by the way, your excuse
for not knowing what you to off state flag that's
like this is.
Speaker 10 (09:21):
The there's a Salt Lake city flag and then the
new one, the cool one.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Thank you for the visuals, because that's what I was
really needing.
Speaker 8 (09:29):
Okay, this is this is the one.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
Oh cute picturing the blue and white of the that's
what you were thinking.
Speaker 10 (09:35):
Yes, yes, they have like it looks like a flower
or something, some kind of emblem.
Speaker 8 (09:40):
They just put that on top of the rain.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
But okay, okay, thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I thought that was neat for you know.
Speaker 6 (09:45):
What's interesting is a lot of people are like, oh, like,
don't shove that in our face and blah blah blah,
like you don't have to have it on everything. But
I saw there's this commercial and like, a it's a
different country, I think Sweden or something, and they were
it's they were talking about pride, and it's this gay
man sitting on the train and.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
It's this other guy that like looks like would.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
Be someone who wouldn't agree with this man's lifestyle or
would say he wouldn't agree with it, sits down in
front of him and like is staring at him, and
he gets uncomfortable and like uncrosses his legs and tries
to look more like masculine, and the guy like pulls
up his sleeve and he has a rainbow bracelet on,
and so it's like, all of a sudden, he felt
safe to like be himself because he saw like the
(10:26):
guy wanted him to see, like he was a you know,
all out and I felt like, wow, it was because
sometimes I hear people say that, and I feel that
way about other types of flags where or like symbolism
or rats, you know, specific things where I'm like, oh,
like that's so in your face, and I know that
everyone has their opinion on those things, but it literally
makes people in the community feel safe when they see,
(10:47):
like a business who has that, You're like, Okay, I
can go in there and I'm gonna be protected. Yeah,
And so it's a little it goes so much further
than being like, I'm representing what I want to represent,
Like it's a sign of safety for those who aren't
even in the commune unity to wear and show that
so that people who are don't feel safe in other
spaces have that safety when they see that sign.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Right, they're not the same thing because a lot of
those hats and flags are threatening.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, they want you to feel, yes, for sure.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
So I think that I think if you have had
those feelings about the room of a flag and be
like you don't need we don't need to see it. Whatever,
it is important, and I think it's important that you
know that it's important. Same you know, and it's important
to know your flags, but.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Not I know the American flag.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
You know, you knew two of the colors, you knew
there was a third.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
I knew there was a square in the corner of
the stars.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
The stripe to represent do you know how many stripes
there are?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Thirteen? That's right, colonies, that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 8 (11:55):
What about the stars? How many stars are they?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
This number of states right, this which is fifty one?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
You got your eye on Yeah, yes, it was over real.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
She was thinking deck of cards.
Speaker 9 (12:15):
Yeah, all right, we have a confused scrubber who's written
in but first start a year.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You just said we just it's fifty two. You just
said it. Yes, cards, Yes, same as the white keys
on the piano.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Nobody knows that, Okay, I do know.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
Alright, we hate to see it, but we have a
confused scrubber who has written in.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Hi have Becatania Easton and Mark. I got dropped on.
I'm not a day one scrubber. But my best friend
introduced me to the pod back in twenty twenty one,
and I instantly became obsessed. I went back and listened
to all the old episodes, and now that same friend
and I giggle along every week together. Thank you for
the Joe You've brought me in so many others. Backstory
on me. I'm twenty nine. I've never been in a relationship.
(13:22):
If you had asked me why a few years ago,
I would have said, well, no one's ever been interested.
But now, after some self reflection, personal growth, I know
it's because I've put up a lot of walls and
guarded myself from getting hurt by never putting myself in
a situation where that might be the case. I'm fiercely
independent and I'm proud of that, but it also leads
me into patterns where I don't let people in very easily. Well,
(13:42):
I'm torn. I met a guy, and when I'm with him,
I have a great time. But then when I'm not
with him and we're just texting, I'm not sure if
I'm not into him. I don't know if I really
like this guy or if I just like the attention
that I'm getting because I've never experienced that before. If
I do just like the attention, is it okay? If
I keep going on dates with him. I try to
remind myself if this is a very normal thing to
date and to see where things go. It's and experience
(14:03):
people typically have in their college years and young twenties.
I'm just now experiencing it for the first time. But
also I'm not sure if I'm just telling myself I
don't like him that much because old patterns are coming
back and putting up walls to prevent me from getting hurt.
He said in Our Days that he falls fast and
always feels like he puts in more than he gets
when it comes to dating, So I don't want to
string him along if I don't see something, But I
don't know if I see something or not. My friends
(14:25):
tell me to keep to take the pressure off myself,
and if I look forward to seeing him again, just
keep going on dates. Help What should I do? How
do I sort out these feelings? Is this normal or
is it toxic of me? I'll take any advice you have.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
I think that dipping your toe in and going on
dates and enjoying getting attention is totally fine and innocent.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. However, I do
think that if it gets to a point where he
confesses his feelings for you, and that he is confident
about his feeling and isn't confused, I think you need
(15:02):
to be honest with him and not string him along.
But I also think that it is a very normal
feeling to like the attention from someone, but it's a
very different It's a very different experience to be in
a relationship with someone if you're not sure that you
even have interest in them, because relationships are, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I think that's wrong. I feel like that's where it
crosses the line. I feel like, when you're dating, you
can date so many people and like that's what it is,
it's dating. But when you are in a relationship with
someone and you know that it's not going somewhere, to me,
that's unfair.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Usually know, Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (15:35):
I wouldn't even get to that point of getting into
a relationship because also you want to be one hundred
percent sure that you like the person before you get.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Into a relationship with them.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
Yeah, Like there was no doubt in my mind when
I met Hayley that I wanted to be in a
relationship with her.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Same And yeah, the tingle test, Yeah, it sounds like
there's no tingles here.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It sounds like there are no teas, but the tingles
of attention feel nice, right?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
And is she the Are these walls preventing the tingles?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Mmmmm?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Has she kind of numbed herself to potential tingles by
these walls she's put up over the ears.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
I think this is a good practice, though, for you
to let your walls down and start going on dates
and allowing yourself to open up and welcome someone into
your life. Who not only gives you attention, but that
you also like. Like, it doesn't have to be one
or the other. It doesn't mean like, oh I I'm
either going to be single forever or I have to
(16:36):
date someone who I don't really like. You can you
can go on multiple dates and you're gonna find someone
who does both of those things.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, I would say it's toxic. Remember Charlie Pooth wrote
a whole song about it.
Speaker 6 (16:46):
You just want attention, Yeah, I mean, I think it's
very normal, That's what I'm saying. I think it's very
normal to one attention and it feels good. But if anything,
I think this is a chance for you to let
your own walls down and allow yourself to be pursued
and also allow yourself to have feelings for someone, which
can be very scary, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. So
(17:08):
just have fun, enjoy it, Enjoy it, go on more
dates with other people, Enjoy, enjoy.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
This is kind of a dark one, sad one from
anonymous Dear Bania. A year ago, my son, who was
two at the time, was diagnosed with leukemia.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
He's doing much better now, but still receives chemo regularly
and will until September of twenty six. I used to
be a very positive person, but this has made me
so scared of everything. My thought press is my thought
process as always. If something that bad could happen, what
else is going to happen? I have been in such
a funk for a year now. How do I snap
out of it? I'm going to therapy, which helps, but
(17:43):
when I think of the big picture, the stress becomes debilitating.
Love you all, and I want to thank you for
bringing a smile to my face during the hardest year
of my life.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
First of all, so sorry, so sorry, and we get it. Yeah,
And like, if you could send us your son's name,
I'd love to pray for him and just continue hopefully
that you're saying he's better now, that he continues to
just get better and better, and that this is something
in your rear view mirror.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
M hm, Yes, I hope this is.
Speaker 6 (18:12):
This is going to be something you look back on
and say, like, we made it through this. It strengthened us,
It made all of us embrace life more. And I
think that it is so normal that you feel this way.
I cannot imagine not feeling this way watching your child
(18:33):
go through something like this. I think you're having a
very human experience and a very mom experience, a parent
experience of like the worst thing watching your child go
through and you're having to be strong for everyone else
while he's going through it. And I think that therapy
is a great start. And I also think that like
(18:56):
giving yourself maybe looking into medication that can help ease
the anxiety because it can be so debilitating. And I
can't even imagine what this is like. But I mean, Mark,
you're the parent in the room of like navigating you know,
things with your kids.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
So I don't know if you have any I experience.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
You know, we do a lot. Ryan does a lot
of work with children's hospitals, and so we've done a
lot of shows from children's hospitals, and those are always
really hard to go to because you almost just have
to put your blinders on and not look around you,
which almost I hope that doesn't come off as rude,
but the feeling is, if I let this in, I'm
not gonna be able to do my job. If I
focused on these parents and these kids and what they're
(19:39):
all going through, I'm just gonna be a mess. And
I'm going to put myself in their position, as impossible
as that may seem, and I'm just gonna be able
to do a thing. So I almost have to just
focus one hundred percent of what I'm doing. But then
when we're done or whatever, and we'll stop and we'll
talk to some kids, or we'll have some kids on
the show that are going through it, and they got
such great spirit. Anyway, I don't know how parents do this.
I really don't. As a parent. I think i'd be
(20:00):
terrible at it. And I guess you don't know until
you're put in that situation. And I think it would
also make me into a darker person.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, I think it's so common how you're feeling the
way that you're feeling, because I feel like seeing your
kid go through something like that's probably the worst of
the worst things, like worst nightmare that you could ever imagine.
And I think that there are a lot of people
who it is like it's like a mindset thing. I
think there's a lot of people who also, like I
(20:27):
was always one of those people who always was waiting
for the shoe to drop. Yeah, like I could never
like nothing good could just be happening. Do you know
what I mean, like I'm just waiting for that shoe
to drop. And that's also like a mindset thing too,
do you know what I mean? So I think therapy
would definitely help. I also think too, don't weigh out.
I don't know, you know, medication I think can be
very helpful in these things. But also it is like
I think therapy can help because it is like a
(20:48):
mind it's like a mind shift because you're in this
dark hole and it's very like understandable why you're in it,
but now you just have to climb out of it.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
And also there's the mentality can be and this may
be naive, is to focus on the positives, like the
fact that he's doing so much better now that he
laughed at whatever he laughed at today. I guess there's
got to be a way that is, focus on whatever
good there is in your life, or like, look at.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
How we handled this. If we can handle this, we
can do anything right.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
I also think finding moms and parents who have been
to the same things, like finding a community, because no
one who hasn't experienced something like that will ever be
able to comfort you. Because it's so easy to have
a perspective on it when you're not going through it,
and so I think finding people who are going through
it or who have been through it or on the
(21:43):
other side would be really comforting for you. Yeah, just
to have a community of people who have experienced the
same feelings of heaviness and grief and darkness. I think
there's something about community in that, and it's probably a
community that no one wants to be a part of,
but I think think each other would be something that
would probably make you feel seen and understood during this.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I agree, And maybe.
Speaker 6 (22:08):
They're scrubbers who have also experienced this with their kids.
Are were the kid, you know? Yeah, So I would
just seek community and know that we're thinking of you
and your family and praying for complete health.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And a win for your family.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Yeah, and thank you for listening to our podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah. Should we take a break?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I think that's good.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Okay, all right, we are back with a few.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
More or.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
De Yeah, a lighter note here, Hello, scrub Team. Day
one listener, first time or advice.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
Asked her not the tongue twistern.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
It was Molly. By the way, I'm a new mom
to a baby girl. My daughter's three months old and
is as cute as can be. A few people have
asked me about the topic of getting her ears pierced.
I didn't have mine done until I was around twelve.
I was jealous of the girls who hadn't be done
when they were a little because they have no memory
of it. At the same time, it was cool that
I got to choose whether I wanted to have my
ears pierced or not, though I haven't met anyone who
(23:31):
had them done as an infant who was mad at
their parents for having them done, and honestly, if they were,
they could just take them out. My question to Becca
and Tanya is when did you get your ears pierced?
Should I get my daughter's pierced at six months? Should
I wait and let her decide when she's older? Mark,
when did your girls have their ears pierced? For the record,
my husband doesn't care. It's fine with whatever I choose
for my daughter. Thanks so much.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I think I was. I feel like I was around nine.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
I got them piers and then they closed up because
I didn't keep the earrings in, and.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Then I went back at like twelve.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
Maybe I think after the first time, my MOLM was like,
we are not doing this again until you are older.
But I loved like the sticker ear rings and the
magnet ear rings, but you can't really do those on
a child because that's dangerous.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
So yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Mean my thing.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
I'm torn on this because it is like a process.
You have to keep them clean and like, you know,
it's a little more work that you add onto already
being a mom to a baby. But I do think
people who got their ear spears at a young age
don't really have any resentment about it. Yeah, but I
guess they could grow up and be like I did
(24:42):
not want I didn't want my ear.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Spear, So I think it's like a mutilation thing, right, mutilation. Yeah,
I think that's like the whole thing is like how.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Could you do that to like a baby? Yeah, I
think it's fun.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I mean, here's the thing. Do I remember the pain
of it?
Speaker 6 (25:00):
I remember the shock of it, and then I got
them as I was older, and I remember that pain
more because it's more recent on my mind.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
But also I don't have any trauma from it.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Right, Like I got mine older, Like I think I
was like twelve or fifteen, and I was like sad
that I didn't have like my years pierced when I
was younger.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Oh really, I say go for it.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Oh you say do it?
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Interesting. I think I'm more on just like not doing it, like.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Not poking holes in their ears.
Speaker 6 (25:29):
And a side letting them just choose if they want
to do it when they're older. I had a friend
whose daughter went and got them. She's six, and she
got one pierce and it hurts. She didn't know it
was gonna hurt as bad as it did, and she
only she left with just one.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, they at the same time. I feel like when
I went to Claire's, they just like did it the.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Same im same and that was jarring.
Speaker 6 (25:53):
Yeah, but it was done, and so I Yeah, I
don't think there's a I personally don't know if there's
a right or wrong answer.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
But arms when you ears is like a baby.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Especially online and social media.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Oh my god, you can't do anything right on.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Hillary Duff was like piercing her daughter's ears. It was
like the end of the world. She was like, get
over it.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Then the like the Latino community, it's extremely common. Yeah,
babies under a year old almost standard write a passage.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah, I don't know. My thing is just but.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
It's like same with your guys.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
And what do you guys getting circumcision.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
That's not really the same thing. It's not the same thing.
I'm not gonna let you have that one. Why why
now the mutilation argument, there's something very similar. But I
think it's just this is decorative where the other one
is more of a that's a deep one, that's a whole.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
It's no, it's cosmetic.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
It's not cosmetic.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
You would have that flop and be fine, but.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
That's not why people do it. It's not for cosmetic
r it's for religious reason or it's for sanitary reasons.
I mean, it could be a cosmetic reason too, that
could be one of the options, but it's just one
of many. But that's another thing. People have very strong
opinions about it totally. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, Honestly I was
thinking just a couple of days ago, I was like, ah,
(27:17):
I'm so I have girls, so I didn't have to
make that decision.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, I feel like it would be a hard decision.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I think it's a really hard decision.
Speaker 7 (27:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
And as far as earrings ago, I was able to
say that's your department, and so they and they waited
till that. I would say they were probably nine and six,
maybe ten and seven, something like that. But they got
them done together in Wisconsin with their cousin and it
was a great day.
Speaker 8 (27:37):
I got my experience when I was eighteen.
Speaker 10 (27:39):
Wow, but I got like plugs put in because I
was a badass.
Speaker 8 (27:43):
And yeah, never never closed up.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
So did you really get plugs? Yeah? Wide were they?
Speaker 10 (27:50):
The biggest they were was a double zero, which is
like the width of a pencil.
Speaker 8 (27:54):
Okay, and you see them.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
That's not crazy.
Speaker 8 (27:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (27:57):
I stretched him so slowly too, because they told me
put in a little you know, wait and then when
you're done, they'll close up all the way if you
do it slowly.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
So that's what I did. And then when I took
them out, they never closed up.
Speaker 10 (28:09):
They lied to me at staircase tattoo And yeah, I almost.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Got those plugs.
Speaker 8 (28:14):
They look cool.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yeah, I wanted to make my holes bigger when I
was like in my surfer girl era era in high school,
like maybe sophomore year, sophomore junior year, you were surfing.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
I wasn't surfing. I was dating surfer.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Oh you were cosplaying? Yes, yes, I see.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah, rainbow sandals, you know a pair rainbows here It is.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Summer of fifteen, so about I was nine and six. Yeah,
I got that right there you go.
Speaker 6 (28:50):
Yeah, there's something fun about remembering it because you can
go and you go with your friend or your sister,
whoever you're with, and it's like, oh, we got our
ears pier So there's a fun something with that, whereas
when their baby they won't remember it, Like what.
Speaker 10 (29:04):
About piercing at home with the apple and the needles.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
A couple of friends.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Really, Yeah, my god, you're just like you've lived.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah, I was a risk taker ottle breaker.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
Yeah, that's just like of all the things I've heard,
just hearing that for the first time surper Girl era.
But Molly, I think you should do what your mom
instinct feels and she will be fine either way.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
That's what I think.
Speaker 6 (29:38):
But it's so true, like on social media, anything you
post as a parent, it is just.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
People with ears pierced to forget it.
Speaker 6 (29:47):
They always have something to say, truly, people always have
something to say. I would I don't think i'd ever
post my child on social media just out of being like, yeah,
fifty people are gonna have an issue with this.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
A lot of people are leaning that way now.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
Well yeah, mostly for just like protecting because it's scary.
It's a scary world out there.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yeah, they're like taking Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
It's from Maddie. We'll leave you with this. An encouraging
note for single scrubbers. Hello, beca Tanya market easton day one,
scrubber here. Ever since I moved a few hours away
from my family about eight years ago, scrubbing in has
been my constant companion on those long drives back and forth.
So much has changed since I first moved, but one
thing that stayed the same is my struggle to find
(30:29):
my person. I dated here and there, but nothing ever
really felt right. I took breaks from dating, trying to reset,
but I was always inspired by Tanya's story of finding Robbie.
It gave me hope that maybe one day my time
would come to Recently, I tried to give hinge another try,
and that's when I matched with a guy named Michael.
From the start, I felt an instant connection. A few
(30:49):
days after we matched, he messaged me asking if I
had been walking down his street with my dog. The
strange thing.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Is I was.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
I walked that exact loop twice a day and half
for eight years, and somehow we'd never crossed paths before.
That street now feels like our invisible String. Michael is
the kindest, most thoughtful, loving man I've ever met, unlike
anyone I've dated before. And get this, he lives two
minutes down the street from me. I truly think I've
found my person. I wanted to share this story because
(31:18):
as a perpetually single friend going to what felt like
a never ending stream of weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers,
it was easy to lose hope. But to any fellow
scrubbers still waiting for their person, don't give up. They
might be closer than you think. I love you, guys
and look forward to the podcast every week. I hope
you are proud of the community you've built within scrubbing in.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
That's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
I'm so happy for you, mabousible String. If you guys
get married, you should have your first dance Invisible String.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Yeah, Sophia, come and sing it it.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
No, We're very happy for you.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
I think that there's a lot of people who have
resonated with your story of staying hopeful finding your person.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I was like, I have to come up with something clever,
but like a million dates, million first dates, no seconds
it's not really rolling and I'm very tired today.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
It's not really I.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Don't know true. What's is that your tagline?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
But like people who are like in the dating scene
and they just keep trying, they're just trying chronically online.
You know you're saying chronically online like I was chronically
on the dating apps.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Yeah, and it really encouraging.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
You met probably is like the second guy you went
out with from the dataps you were chronic also.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
But I wouldn't go out on dates with the people.
I would just like talk in peruse.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
And you know it goes them.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
The minute they said want to get a drink, I'd be.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Like, bye, oh yeah, you wanted dinner like a lady,
you wanted to be courted? Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 4 (32:58):
Yeah it sucks.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
I ever forget flying back from Texas for one of
my friends. I think it was a baby shower and
I was like, I'd gone to some many bridal showers
and weddings and I was like, when's my time?
Speaker 4 (33:08):
And it came, and it will come for you too.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
That's true, that's true. I believe you. With that Happy Thursday, everybody.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Have a happy till fourth of July. We love you, guy,
love you, bye,
Scrubbing in with Becka Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcasts Hell Love everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We are scrubbing it.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yeah, you can't see, but it's spear of fingers hello everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
By the way, here's a fun fact about Tanya. When
she records commercials for Kiss, she waves because then now
I start with hi everyone, it's Tanya, right, Tanya, And
she waves to get into the hey, the headspace of
actually someone actually saying hello to you.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I want to smile too.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I want the inflection and ffliction of my boys to
sound like I'm saying hey, I'm waving, not.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Acting like actually saying hi to you. So she waves,
No one, I will help if I'm in the studio,
and I will wait, wait back.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
It's just partnership right there.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It makes your smile more, which makes it a better commercial.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yeah, well it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. And
now the when I hear her on.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
The radio, but I'll do it now on the podcast.
Hey everyone, scrubbing anything, I'll wave every time.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Great love that you remember back in the day when
we were to like rehearse your commercials, Yes, yeah, that's crazy.
When she first started doing commercials, she had like she
was nervous about it. You know, we had to run
it a few times them like one hundred the tone right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I know, like a little duck like learning how to walk.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
They do Okay, did that sound okay?
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeahould say that.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah. Well, especially the news too. The news was like
a whole.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
No new intimidate Meal Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
There's like an inflection that you have to have, like
ending a story going into the next story. It's like
if you want to keep the train going clear.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Don't act like there's a set period, just keep it going.
And I'm like, there's a period, so I can't keep it. Guy,
I talk, Yeah, that's how I read your text messages.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's funny. I don't think that's how you talk. Well, yeah,
I really have been.
Speaker 6 (02:16):
It's interesting, you know, I forget that you're just y'all
are all on just a national radio station, and like
my cousins and people text me and be like it's
so crazy hearing you know, them talk, and then your
name's mentioned or like Ryan will mention your name.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
I feel like we mentioned your name.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yeah, yeah, you come up quite a bit.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
Yeah, honored truly, but it's so crazy because I'm just
you know, y'all are my friends.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Y'all are a big, big deal in this world, big
deal in this radio world, national, nationally.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And don't you forget it.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Yeah, don't you forget it?
Speaker 6 (03:00):
Speaking of coworkers, are first, dear bomb. Your question leads
right into.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
It, sure does. It's from an anonymous scrubber who says,
dear beca Tanya Mark. Andi's the longtime listener here. I
never miss an episode and I look forward to it
twice a week. I need help. I'm falling hard for
a close friend I've worked with for about a year
and a half, and for the past year our roles
have merged, so we spend a lot of time together
at work, texting daily, hanging out outside of work. I'm
(03:26):
openly out and a few months ago she told me
she's by Our conversations have gotten deeper, more personal, and
honestly flirty. She often compliments me, saying things like you
look beautiful, well, you always do. Recently, ad a tough
week and when I saw her, she gave me the
warmest hug and rub my back, and I'm melted. We're
both in our late thirties with kids who now hang
out to which makes me fall even harder. The tricky part,
(03:49):
I feel like we both avoid being alone together for
too long, almost like we're keeping a buffer. Her divorce
will be final in about a month. Friends have even
commented on our connection. But I'm scared to make a
move and losing her. I've been working on myself while single,
and she's doing the same. Part of me thinks I
should wait until her divorce is final, but another part
of me wonders if I'm just pretending not to be
in love with her and hoping it fades. She's not
(04:11):
only beautiful, she is kind, loyal, honest, and has the
most compassionate heart. What should I do here? I'd love
any advice.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Make your move, Yeah, make the move.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I also.
Speaker 6 (04:23):
I will compliment someone like I'll be like, oh, you know, Tanya, you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Look so beautiful today. But if I was like you
always do.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I would definitely think you're flirting.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
Yeah, there's just like it's different giving a compliment, but then.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, like it's like, oh, I love your outfit, I'd
love to see you without it.
Speaker 7 (04:43):
Onto That definitely is a tall tale sign of flirting. Yeah,
but I think y'all both are feeling it. I I
don't know if it's a I mean, I think you
could wait until her, if her divorce is finally maybe
she's waiting for that thing, keeping keeping y'alls alone, time limited,
(05:05):
Maybe the vanish is final.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, but like these paperwork and stuff, this stuff takes
so much longer PaperWorks work. I say, you dig in now,
there's no time.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
If not now.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
When?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
If not you, who, if not her?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Who?
Speaker 4 (05:28):
If it's not now, it's not if it's.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Not why no? Not here?
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Not here? Where?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Here's my here's my thing?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Though?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
When when you're going through it?
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Because that's why?
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (05:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Is it like one of those things where there might
be uh some legality things of making sure the divorce
is final in terms of child support.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, that's involved. I think wait for them. It's only
a month. Keep keep flirting, keep establishing a foundation. Divorce
is final, we move in.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, this is a month, a month away.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I don't think it's gonna be a month.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
I think it's gonna be more well what we have.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
But I'm just saying she might.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Think, you know, what's in a month? The fourth of
July is a month from today.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
That's cra Also, no one wished me Happy Pride as
part of the l g B t q U.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
I mon, it's your your month only.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
No, it's not just my month, correct, it's everyone's month.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yes, happy Pride month. Are you offended that we didn't
tell you?
Speaker 7 (06:42):
No?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
No, no, But he was just saying, you know what's
in the month fourth of July?
Speaker 8 (06:45):
So I just skipped Rainbow flag?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Why are you rushing Pride month?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Mark?
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Are you going to the Pride Pride?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I don't know. Haley wanted to do something for Pride,
but I don't know what we're gonna do. I've never
been to the parade. We've been to like the concert
that because Haley performed with Fletcher.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, but it was a little late for me personally.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
I don't have a big crowd, yeah, and I don't
love like a big crowd during the day and like
the heat.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
So yeah, but we'll probably do something. Okay, I'll let
you know if you want to.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Love me not because I might be there as well.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
You might be roaming the streets.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah on Sunday?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Oh really?
Speaker 9 (07:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:26):
With whom wouldn't you like to know. Yeah, my husband.
Well yeah, so anyway, by.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
The way, I haven't eat pride story. I thought this
is really cool in Utah. Utah is a very conservative state, yes,
and like many conservative states, they're trying to ban pride flags,
which is because we live in a weird, messed up world.
But whatever, so Utah did. They said, you can no
longer fly any flags on government property except the American flag,
the state flag of Utah, an official city flag or
(07:57):
maybe an Olympic flag or something like that. Just a
strict list of all these things. So Salt Lake City
said fine. They immediately designed a rainbow city flag with
the city the logo Salt Lake City in the midst
of a huge rainbow, and they fly it proudly oh
the state capitol. Because that's not legal because they made
it an official city flag, and I rule, how would.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
They do that?
Speaker 3 (08:19):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
How did they do that?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Which part put.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
It on the They put it like up and they
just like redesigned the flag.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
They read they made you can have multiple city flags.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Sol has a logo on I don't know the Salt
Lake City Excuse me, I don't know the UTA. That's
a flag let's do it like if it was a
United States flag. So they would just take out like
the blue and the white wait, yeah, the blue and
the white stripes, and they would make that like rainbow,
and then they would put the fifty stars like in
the thing.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
We have red and white stripes on the American flag.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Another day, spread and white red and white stripes.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Are they put You're not to mess with the American flag.
That's not like they're fine flat and city flags are
a little bit flags. And by the way, your excuse
for not knowing what you to off state flag that's
like this is.
Speaker 10 (09:21):
The there's a Salt Lake city flag and then the
new one, the cool one.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Thank you for the visuals, because that's what I was
really needing.
Speaker 8 (09:29):
Okay, this is this is the one.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
Oh cute picturing the blue and white of the that's
what you were thinking.
Speaker 10 (09:35):
Yes, yes, they have like it looks like a flower
or something, some kind of emblem.
Speaker 8 (09:40):
They just put that on top of the rain.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
But okay, okay, thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I thought that was neat for you know.
Speaker 6 (09:45):
What's interesting is a lot of people are like, oh, like,
don't shove that in our face and blah blah blah,
like you don't have to have it on everything. But
I saw there's this commercial and like, a it's a
different country, I think Sweden or something, and they were
it's they were talking about pride, and it's this gay
man sitting on the train and.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
It's this other guy that like looks like would.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
Be someone who wouldn't agree with this man's lifestyle or
would say he wouldn't agree with it, sits down in
front of him and like is staring at him, and
he gets uncomfortable and like uncrosses his legs and tries
to look more like masculine, and the guy like pulls
up his sleeve and he has a rainbow bracelet on,
and so it's like, all of a sudden, he felt
safe to like be himself because he saw like the
(10:26):
guy wanted him to see, like he was a you know,
all out and I felt like, wow, it was because
sometimes I hear people say that, and I feel that
way about other types of flags where or like symbolism
or rats, you know, specific things where I'm like, oh,
like that's so in your face, and I know that
everyone has their opinion on those things, but it literally
makes people in the community feel safe when they see,
(10:47):
like a business who has that, You're like, Okay, I
can go in there and I'm gonna be protected. Yeah,
And so it's a little it goes so much further
than being like, I'm representing what I want to represent,
Like it's a sign of safety for those who aren't
even in the commune unity to wear and show that
so that people who are don't feel safe in other
spaces have that safety when they see that sign.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Right, they're not the same thing because a lot of
those hats and flags are threatening.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, they want you to feel, yes, for sure.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
So I think that I think if you have had
those feelings about the room of a flag and be
like you don't need we don't need to see it. Whatever,
it is important, and I think it's important that you
know that it's important. Same you know, and it's important
to know your flags, but.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Not I know the American flag.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
You know, you knew two of the colors, you knew
there was a third.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
I knew there was a square in the corner of
the stars.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
The stripe to represent do you know how many stripes
there are?
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Thirteen? That's right, colonies, that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 8 (11:55):
What about the stars? How many stars are they?
Speaker 4 (11:58):
This number of states right, this which is fifty one?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
You got your eye on Yeah, yes, it was over real.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
She was thinking deck of cards.
Speaker 9 (12:15):
Yeah, all right, we have a confused scrubber who's written
in but first start a year.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
You just said we just it's fifty two. You just
said it. Yes, cards, Yes, same as the white keys
on the piano.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Nobody knows that, Okay, I do know.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
Alright, we hate to see it, but we have a
confused scrubber who has written in.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Hi have Becatania Easton and Mark. I got dropped on.
I'm not a day one scrubber. But my best friend
introduced me to the pod back in twenty twenty one,
and I instantly became obsessed. I went back and listened
to all the old episodes, and now that same friend
and I giggle along every week together. Thank you for
the Joe You've brought me in so many others. Backstory
on me. I'm twenty nine. I've never been in a relationship.
(13:22):
If you had asked me why a few years ago,
I would have said, well, no one's ever been interested.
But now, after some self reflection, personal growth, I know
it's because I've put up a lot of walls and
guarded myself from getting hurt by never putting myself in
a situation where that might be the case. I'm fiercely
independent and I'm proud of that, but it also leads
me into patterns where I don't let people in very easily. Well,
(13:42):
I'm torn. I met a guy, and when I'm with him,
I have a great time. But then when I'm not
with him and we're just texting, I'm not sure if
I'm not into him. I don't know if I really
like this guy or if I just like the attention
that I'm getting because I've never experienced that before. If
I do just like the attention, is it okay? If
I keep going on dates with him. I try to
remind myself if this is a very normal thing to
date and to see where things go. It's and experience
(14:03):
people typically have in their college years and young twenties.
I'm just now experiencing it for the first time. But
also I'm not sure if I'm just telling myself I
don't like him that much because old patterns are coming
back and putting up walls to prevent me from getting hurt.
He said in Our Days that he falls fast and
always feels like he puts in more than he gets
when it comes to dating, So I don't want to
string him along if I don't see something, But I
don't know if I see something or not. My friends
(14:25):
tell me to keep to take the pressure off myself,
and if I look forward to seeing him again, just
keep going on dates. Help What should I do? How
do I sort out these feelings? Is this normal or
is it toxic of me? I'll take any advice you have.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
I think that dipping your toe in and going on
dates and enjoying getting attention is totally fine and innocent.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. However, I do
think that if it gets to a point where he
confesses his feelings for you, and that he is confident
about his feeling and isn't confused, I think you need
(15:02):
to be honest with him and not string him along.
But I also think that it is a very normal
feeling to like the attention from someone, but it's a
very different It's a very different experience to be in
a relationship with someone if you're not sure that you
even have interest in them, because relationships are, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I think that's wrong. I feel like that's where it
crosses the line. I feel like, when you're dating, you
can date so many people and like that's what it is,
it's dating. But when you are in a relationship with
someone and you know that it's not going somewhere, to me,
that's unfair.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Usually know, Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (15:35):
I wouldn't even get to that point of getting into
a relationship because also you want to be one hundred
percent sure that you like the person before you get.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Into a relationship with them.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
Yeah, Like there was no doubt in my mind when
I met Hayley that I wanted to be in a
relationship with her.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Same And yeah, the tingle test, Yeah, it sounds like
there's no tingles here.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
It sounds like there are no teas, but the tingles
of attention feel nice, right?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
And is she the Are these walls preventing the tingles?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Mmmmm?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Has she kind of numbed herself to potential tingles by
these walls she's put up over the ears.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
I think this is a good practice, though, for you
to let your walls down and start going on dates
and allowing yourself to open up and welcome someone into
your life. Who not only gives you attention, but that
you also like. Like, it doesn't have to be one
or the other. It doesn't mean like, oh I I'm
either going to be single forever or I have to
(16:36):
date someone who I don't really like. You can you
can go on multiple dates and you're gonna find someone
who does both of those things.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, I would say it's toxic. Remember Charlie Pooth wrote
a whole song about it.
Speaker 6 (16:46):
You just want attention, Yeah, I mean, I think it's
very normal, That's what I'm saying. I think it's very
normal to one attention and it feels good. But if anything,
I think this is a chance for you to let
your own walls down and allow yourself to be pursued
and also allow yourself to have feelings for someone, which
can be very scary, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. So
(17:08):
just have fun, enjoy it, Enjoy it, go on more
dates with other people, Enjoy, enjoy.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
This is kind of a dark one, sad one from
anonymous Dear Bania. A year ago, my son, who was
two at the time, was diagnosed with leukemia.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
He's doing much better now, but still receives chemo regularly
and will until September of twenty six. I used to
be a very positive person, but this has made me
so scared of everything. My thought press is my thought
process as always. If something that bad could happen, what
else is going to happen? I have been in such
a funk for a year now. How do I snap
out of it? I'm going to therapy, which helps, but
(17:43):
when I think of the big picture, the stress becomes debilitating.
Love you all, and I want to thank you for
bringing a smile to my face during the hardest year
of my life.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
First of all, so sorry, so sorry, and we get it. Yeah,
And like, if you could send us your son's name,
I'd love to pray for him and just continue hopefully
that you're saying he's better now, that he continues to
just get better and better, and that this is something
in your rear view mirror.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
M hm, Yes, I hope this is.
Speaker 6 (18:12):
This is going to be something you look back on
and say, like, we made it through this. It strengthened us,
It made all of us embrace life more. And I
think that it is so normal that you feel this way.
I cannot imagine not feeling this way watching your child
(18:33):
go through something like this. I think you're having a
very human experience and a very mom experience, a parent
experience of like the worst thing watching your child go
through and you're having to be strong for everyone else
while he's going through it. And I think that therapy
is a great start. And I also think that like
(18:56):
giving yourself maybe looking into medication that can help ease
the anxiety because it can be so debilitating. And I
can't even imagine what this is like. But I mean, Mark,
you're the parent in the room of like navigating you know,
things with your kids.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
So I don't know if you have any I experience.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
You know, we do a lot. Ryan does a lot
of work with children's hospitals, and so we've done a
lot of shows from children's hospitals, and those are always
really hard to go to because you almost just have
to put your blinders on and not look around you,
which almost I hope that doesn't come off as rude,
but the feeling is, if I let this in, I'm
not gonna be able to do my job. If I
focused on these parents and these kids and what they're
(19:39):
all going through, I'm just gonna be a mess. And
I'm going to put myself in their position, as impossible
as that may seem, and I'm just gonna be able
to do a thing. So I almost have to just
focus one hundred percent of what I'm doing. But then
when we're done or whatever, and we'll stop and we'll
talk to some kids, or we'll have some kids on
the show that are going through it, and they got
such great spirit. Anyway, I don't know how parents do this.
I really don't. As a parent. I think i'd be
(20:00):
terrible at it. And I guess you don't know until
you're put in that situation. And I think it would
also make me into a darker person.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, I think it's so common how you're feeling the
way that you're feeling, because I feel like seeing your
kid go through something like that's probably the worst of
the worst things, like worst nightmare that you could ever imagine.
And I think that there are a lot of people
who it is like it's like a mindset thing. I
think there's a lot of people who also, like I
(20:27):
was always one of those people who always was waiting
for the shoe to drop. Yeah, like I could never
like nothing good could just be happening. Do you know
what I mean, like I'm just waiting for that shoe
to drop. And that's also like a mindset thing too,
do you know what I mean? So I think therapy
would definitely help. I also think too, don't weigh out.
I don't know, you know, medication I think can be
very helpful in these things. But also it is like
I think therapy can help because it is like a
(20:48):
mind it's like a mind shift because you're in this
dark hole and it's very like understandable why you're in it,
but now you just have to climb out of it.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
And also there's the mentality can be and this may
be naive, is to focus on the positives, like the
fact that he's doing so much better now that he
laughed at whatever he laughed at today. I guess there's
got to be a way that is, focus on whatever
good there is in your life, or like, look at.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
How we handled this. If we can handle this, we
can do anything right.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
I also think finding moms and parents who have been
to the same things, like finding a community, because no
one who hasn't experienced something like that will ever be
able to comfort you. Because it's so easy to have
a perspective on it when you're not going through it,
and so I think finding people who are going through
it or who have been through it or on the
(21:43):
other side would be really comforting for you. Yeah, just
to have a community of people who have experienced the
same feelings of heaviness and grief and darkness. I think
there's something about community in that, and it's probably a
community that no one wants to be a part of,
but I think think each other would be something that
would probably make you feel seen and understood during this.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I agree, And maybe.
Speaker 6 (22:08):
They're scrubbers who have also experienced this with their kids.
Are were the kid, you know? Yeah, So I would
just seek community and know that we're thinking of you
and your family and praying for complete health.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And a win for your family.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Yeah, and thank you for listening to our podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah. Should we take a break?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I think that's good.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Okay, all right, we are back with a few.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
More or.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
De Yeah, a lighter note here, Hello, scrub Team. Day
one listener, first time or advice.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
Asked her not the tongue twistern.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
It was Molly. By the way, I'm a new mom
to a baby girl. My daughter's three months old and
is as cute as can be. A few people have
asked me about the topic of getting her ears pierced.
I didn't have mine done until I was around twelve.
I was jealous of the girls who hadn't be done
when they were a little because they have no memory
of it. At the same time, it was cool that
I got to choose whether I wanted to have my
ears pierced or not, though I haven't met anyone who
(23:31):
had them done as an infant who was mad at
their parents for having them done, and honestly, if they were,
they could just take them out. My question to Becca
and Tanya is when did you get your ears pierced?
Should I get my daughter's pierced at six months? Should
I wait and let her decide when she's older? Mark,
when did your girls have their ears pierced? For the record,
my husband doesn't care. It's fine with whatever I choose
for my daughter. Thanks so much.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I think I was. I feel like I was around nine.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
I got them piers and then they closed up because
I didn't keep the earrings in, and.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Then I went back at like twelve.
Speaker 6 (24:04):
Maybe I think after the first time, my MOLM was like,
we are not doing this again until you are older.
But I loved like the sticker ear rings and the
magnet ear rings, but you can't really do those on
a child because that's dangerous.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
So yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Mean my thing.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
I'm torn on this because it is like a process.
You have to keep them clean and like, you know,
it's a little more work that you add onto already
being a mom to a baby. But I do think
people who got their ear spears at a young age
don't really have any resentment about it. Yeah, but I
guess they could grow up and be like I did
(24:42):
not want I didn't want my ear.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Spear, So I think it's like a mutilation thing, right, mutilation. Yeah,
I think that's like the whole thing is like how.
Speaker 4 (24:52):
Could you do that to like a baby? Yeah, I
think it's fun.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I mean, here's the thing. Do I remember the pain
of it?
Speaker 6 (25:00):
I remember the shock of it, and then I got
them as I was older, and I remember that pain
more because it's more recent on my mind.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
But also I don't have any trauma from it.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Right, Like I got mine older, Like I think I
was like twelve or fifteen, and I was like sad
that I didn't have like my years pierced when I
was younger.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Oh really, I say go for it.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Oh you say do it?
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Interesting. I think I'm more on just like not doing it, like.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Not poking holes in their ears.
Speaker 6 (25:29):
And a side letting them just choose if they want
to do it when they're older. I had a friend
whose daughter went and got them. She's six, and she
got one pierce and it hurts. She didn't know it
was gonna hurt as bad as it did, and she
only she left with just one.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, they at the same time. I feel like when
I went to Claire's, they just like did it the.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Same im same and that was jarring.
Speaker 6 (25:53):
Yeah, but it was done, and so I Yeah, I
don't think there's a I personally don't know if there's
a right or wrong answer.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
But arms when you ears is like a baby.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Especially online and social media.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Oh my god, you can't do anything right on.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Hillary Duff was like piercing her daughter's ears. It was
like the end of the world. She was like, get
over it.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Then the like the Latino community, it's extremely common. Yeah,
babies under a year old almost standard write a passage.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah, I don't know. My thing is just but.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
It's like same with your guys.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
And what do you guys getting circumcision.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
That's not really the same thing. It's not the same thing.
I'm not gonna let you have that one. Why why
now the mutilation argument, there's something very similar. But I
think it's just this is decorative where the other one
is more of a that's a deep one, that's a whole.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
It's no, it's cosmetic.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
It's not cosmetic.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
You would have that flop and be fine, but.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
That's not why people do it. It's not for cosmetic
r it's for religious reason or it's for sanitary reasons.
I mean, it could be a cosmetic reason too, that
could be one of the options, but it's just one
of many. But that's another thing. People have very strong
opinions about it totally. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, Honestly I was
thinking just a couple of days ago, I was like, ah,
(27:17):
I'm so I have girls, so I didn't have to
make that decision.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, I feel like it would be a hard decision.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I think it's a really hard decision.
Speaker 7 (27:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
And as far as earrings ago, I was able to
say that's your department, and so they and they waited
till that. I would say they were probably nine and six,
maybe ten and seven, something like that. But they got
them done together in Wisconsin with their cousin and it
was a great day.
Speaker 8 (27:37):
I got my experience when I was eighteen.
Speaker 10 (27:39):
Wow, but I got like plugs put in because I
was a badass.
Speaker 8 (27:43):
And yeah, never never closed up.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
So did you really get plugs? Yeah? Wide were they?
Speaker 10 (27:50):
The biggest they were was a double zero, which is
like the width of a pencil.
Speaker 8 (27:54):
Okay, and you see them.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
That's not crazy.
Speaker 8 (27:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (27:57):
I stretched him so slowly too, because they told me
put in a little you know, wait and then when
you're done, they'll close up all the way if you
do it slowly.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
So that's what I did. And then when I took
them out, they never closed up.
Speaker 10 (28:09):
They lied to me at staircase tattoo And yeah, I almost.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Got those plugs.
Speaker 8 (28:14):
They look cool.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yeah, I wanted to make my holes bigger when I
was like in my surfer girl era era in high school,
like maybe sophomore year, sophomore junior year, you were surfing.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
I wasn't surfing. I was dating surfer.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Oh you were cosplaying? Yes, yes, I see.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Yeah, rainbow sandals, you know a pair rainbows here It is.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Summer of fifteen, so about I was nine and six. Yeah,
I got that right there you go.
Speaker 6 (28:50):
Yeah, there's something fun about remembering it because you can
go and you go with your friend or your sister,
whoever you're with, and it's like, oh, we got our
ears pier So there's a fun something with that, whereas
when their baby they won't remember it, Like what.
Speaker 10 (29:04):
About piercing at home with the apple and the needles.
Speaker 4 (29:08):
A couple of friends.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Really, Yeah, my god, you're just like you've lived.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah, I was a risk taker ottle breaker.
Speaker 6 (29:21):
Yeah, that's just like of all the things I've heard,
just hearing that for the first time surper Girl era.
But Molly, I think you should do what your mom
instinct feels and she will be fine either way.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
That's what I think.
Speaker 6 (29:38):
But it's so true, like on social media, anything you
post as a parent, it is just.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
People with ears pierced to forget it.
Speaker 6 (29:47):
They always have something to say, truly, people always have
something to say. I would I don't think i'd ever
post my child on social media just out of being like, yeah,
fifty people are gonna have an issue with this.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
A lot of people are leaning that way now.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
Well yeah, mostly for just like protecting because it's scary.
It's a scary world out there.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yeah, they're like taking Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
It's from Maddie. We'll leave you with this. An encouraging
note for single scrubbers. Hello, beca Tanya market easton day one,
scrubber here. Ever since I moved a few hours away
from my family about eight years ago, scrubbing in has
been my constant companion on those long drives back and forth.
So much has changed since I first moved, but one
thing that stayed the same is my struggle to find
(30:29):
my person. I dated here and there, but nothing ever
really felt right. I took breaks from dating, trying to reset,
but I was always inspired by Tanya's story of finding Robbie.
It gave me hope that maybe one day my time
would come to Recently, I tried to give hinge another try,
and that's when I matched with a guy named Michael.
From the start, I felt an instant connection. A few
(30:49):
days after we matched, he messaged me asking if I
had been walking down his street with my dog. The
strange thing.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Is I was.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
I walked that exact loop twice a day and half
for eight years, and somehow we'd never crossed paths before.
That street now feels like our invisible String. Michael is
the kindest, most thoughtful, loving man I've ever met, unlike
anyone I've dated before. And get this, he lives two
minutes down the street from me. I truly think I've
found my person. I wanted to share this story because
(31:18):
as a perpetually single friend going to what felt like
a never ending stream of weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers,
it was easy to lose hope. But to any fellow
scrubbers still waiting for their person, don't give up. They
might be closer than you think. I love you, guys
and look forward to the podcast every week. I hope
you are proud of the community you've built within scrubbing in.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
That's so sweet.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
I'm so happy for you, mabousible String. If you guys
get married, you should have your first dance Invisible String.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Yeah, Sophia, come and sing it it.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
No, We're very happy for you.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
I think that there's a lot of people who have
resonated with your story of staying hopeful finding your person.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I was like, I have to come up with something clever,
but like a million dates, million first dates, no seconds
it's not really rolling and I'm very tired today.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
It's not really I.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Don't know true. What's is that your tagline?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
But like people who are like in the dating scene
and they just keep trying, they're just trying chronically online.
You know you're saying chronically online like I was chronically
on the dating apps.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Yeah, and it really encouraging.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
You met probably is like the second guy you went
out with from the dataps you were chronic also.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
But I wouldn't go out on dates with the people.
I would just like talk in peruse.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
And you know it goes them.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
The minute they said want to get a drink, I'd be.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Like, bye, oh yeah, you wanted dinner like a lady,
you wanted to be courted? Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 4 (32:58):
Yeah it sucks.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
I ever forget flying back from Texas for one of
my friends. I think it was a baby shower and
I was like, I'd gone to some many bridal showers
and weddings and I was like, when's my time?
Speaker 4 (33:08):
And it came, and it will come for you too.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
That's true, that's true. I believe you. With that Happy Thursday, everybody.
Speaker 4 (33:17):
Have a happy till fourth of July. We love you, guy,
love you, bye,
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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