September 4, 2025 • 32 mins
It’s another round of Dear Banya! We try to help a Scrubber in her TTC era, another who’s navigating toxic in-laws, and the essential guide to Instagram “pinning” etiquette.
Plus, one of the most difficult and personal questions we’ve ever been asked on this podcast.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hello everybody rubbing it?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
It's Tills and yeah and the scrubbing and pad helloll.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
She's still not used to the opening line.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
No, she's taking off with puffer and getting comfortable and
puffing her through it. Why are you guys all staring
at me?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Because we're on and we're on ding Ding our first
podcast of the week.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Somebody's home. She's home, She's home. How you doing dang great?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
How ding ding in being great?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I'm backing. I started up therapy again. All right, Yeah,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I love that for you.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
It's been great. But it's a new therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
I love her, but she makes me cry, Like my
sessions have been just like crying.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Why did you get a new one?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I just wasn't feeling like I felt like the other
ones I had.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
They were wonderful for the.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Time that I had them and when I needed them,
but I felt like it was just me talking for
a long time, like for an hour, and there wasn't
a lot of like, uh, feedback in terms of things
I could do or you know, there wasn't just like
it was just me talking for like an hour.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yeah, so I feel like I do that on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And not with the same topics, but you know, I
just was like looking for a little more like feedback.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, I feel like it's intimidating.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Like I've only had one therapist, and I'm like, I
just want to keep her forever because the thought of
like giving a new one all the background, I'm so daunting,
and I'm like, she already knows so much.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I know, but.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
I feel the same way, like I just feel like
it's always this, it always comes back to the same thing,
and I'm like, it's not that well it might.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Be, it's not that.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
It really might be.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
But yeah, so that's something new in my life. And
I was I wasn't like resistant towards it at all.
I was just kind of like, oh, do it when
I'm when I'm ready, when I'm ready. And that's one
of those things where like you don't feel ready to
bear your soul and to hear things that are tough, tough.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
That's why I like therapy though, because I'm like, I
feel all the time that we think our ideas, our
opinions the way that we do things is always right,
do you know what I mean? Like we just think
our opinions and our stuff is always right, but that's
not the case. There's no right and wrong. There's just
like different ways to do the same thing.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
So I like that.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I like that challenge.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm excited. But she's she's learning about
me right now.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
So we're in that face feeling her in.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
She read me a poem the other.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Day, but she started the first it was a Mary
Oliver poem in the first instance, is like, you don't
have to be good, and I just like burst into tears.
I was like just staring at her while she was reading,
like solving. But anyways, I'm it feels good.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Everything's good here, everything, everything's fine worth arriving.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But it is one of those things where like if
you've considered therapy and you're like I'm not ready, I'm
not ready, just you just have to go for it.
If you're feeling like I need therapy, you're not gonna
feel like ready for therapy, if that makes sense.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
So I I've been reading The Universe Has Your Back
by Gabrielle Bernstein. We've had her on the podcast before Yeah,
it's an amazing book, and I'd love to have her
back because I just feel like it hits.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Let's get her back.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I doubt she'll come in studio. She's a busy gal.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Maybe she will.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Maybe she will.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
That's not the attitude.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Yeah, that's right, Like Patrick Dempsey were ill. Wait is open.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Patrick, whenever you're just feeling a need to come on
and hang with the gals and guys, We're ready, We're ready.
It is a dear Bonia episode. It's been a minute
since we've done a deer Bonia.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Should we rotate who reads the emails? Because I feel
like I might be hogging the email reading. You're so
good at that. I appreciate that, Easton, but I also
feel a little guilty sometimes that I'm doing all the reading.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I don't Why do you feel guilty.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
If you get tired?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Alternate banyas today?
Speaker 6 (04:38):
Okay, I like that?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
All right, great, lovely.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's a really weird thing.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Look, I just want the show to be great.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Are people saying they don't like you reading the I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I just feel like I always read the emails and
that can get old, my voice can get old. I
don't want to hog anything. I don't want to take
old for the show.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Wait before you start.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I was watching old episodes of Ben's season of the Bachelor.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I never do.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
I was trying to find I was trying to find
these old clips of me and Jojo for a video. Ever,
so I was like just skimming through them. I wasn't
like sitting, but I could not watch my scene. I
had to fast forward through, like anything that was just me.
It is so strange seeing that version of myself. But
also watching I remember watching it live and being like, God,
this is brutal watching yourself on TV like that. But wow,
(05:35):
what a time my outfits everything. I was like, this
is so crazy. And Haley we were watching and.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
She was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I remember watching this and being like devastated for Jojo
when he didn't choose her.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
I forgot about that.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
But I was thinking about like while hearing my voice
is so crazy and I can't believe people listen every
week to.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Their own voice. That's a fascinating thing.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
So and maybe that's part of it. I hear it
on the podcast. I'm like, that's a lot of me,
you know. Anyway about us, no because it's not you're
not my voice.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
It's giving weird.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
It's really considering the things that are brought up on
this podcast, it's not that weird.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Trying to always always be evolving, Tanya, never get complacent,
h from Nicole, what why.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Are you staring at me?
Speaker 6 (06:31):
Read that?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Mark, de Becca, Tanya Easton and Mark. I've been here
since Becca's bachelor days and seeing her happiness with Haley
has been the best journey and I wish them forever happiness.
This question is for Tanya. I am also in my
TTC trying to conceive era. My question is what are
we doing in this era? Are we drinking? Are we
eating raw fish and deli meat? Are we doing these
(06:52):
things only if we get our period? What is the
modern woman approach? Love you all?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:59):
I think, in my personal opinion, you should just do
whatever makes you the most comfortable, because I feel like
there's so much out there that I've been reading about
what's good, what's bad, what you should do, what you
shouldn't do, and it's like, if you're doing all the things,
you're gonna make yourself totally nuts. And that's what they're
they say in this era. That's why I'm trying to
be in my soft girl era. You're supposed to just
be like calm and chill and you're not supposed to stress.
(07:22):
And I feel like if you're stressing about eating raw
fish or Deli meat, or like you're stressed out about
everything that you're eating or drinking, it's gonna add stress,
which I think is probably the worst thing.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
So if you want to eat some.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Raw fish, I'm eating raw fish, I'm eating I don't
really eat Deli meat, so I'm not eating Deli meat.
I'm not drinking. And that's just my personal approach. But
I feel like, whatever, if you eat Deli meat all
the time, Like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I'm not a doctor, so it's not is just this
is I think that's good advice, though, because I think
people get focused on what one person says to do
and then they go like crazy, like.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Somebody was like somebody was like, don't drink coffee. I'm like,
I'll be a horrible human being. And I so I've
tried to cut it down, so like I take the
espresso that I would normally put in, and I like
dump a little bit of it out. So I'm just
trying to just like be mindful without like going so extreme.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Right, because I think the more relaxed you are without
like overthinking about things, yea, the way to go.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, but everyone's on their own journey.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Everyone's on their own journey.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Yeah, congrats to Jojo and Jordan's.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
So exciting, so so just beyond happy.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Yeah, everyone's just popping them out.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I know.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
And I don't know if it's because I'm no, I
don't know if it's because I'm in this era, but
like I swear, I'm constantly seeing pregnant people cross our
path all the time. Like we went on a date
the other night and we saw three pregnant women that night.
And I don't know if it's like I'm like this
is a or like there were just a lot of
pregnant people in the world and I'm just now I'm
(09:05):
I'm aware of it, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Because that Murphy's law, or like you start seeing like
there's things that have always been there, but you're like.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Aware of them now. It's not Murphy's always mess it up.
It's something Murphy's laws.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Anything that can can go wrong will go wrong.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Okay, not that, definitely, not that.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Whatever bias it recently.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
Yeah, It's it's like when you buy a new car
and then you see that you see four fusions everywhere.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh, y'all's kid is just gonna be
so cute.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
It's definitely like emotional, Like I was saying, I got
my period and I just like ball, Yeah, like it
and I like cried multiple days.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
You know what it is though, what I was saying,
because Ali and I were talking about this where I
feel like growing up, you hear about people getting pregnant
and like some people it's such a it's a surprise
and they had no idea and so you go, of course,
it's just we're gonna do it. Sex, It's gonna happen. Yeah,
And it's like there are so many things that have
(10:03):
to align for it, and it's like, wow, it's really
a miracle.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yeah, all of it, all of us miracles. True.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
But yeah, it's everyone's journey, and I think you've handled
it very well and are handling it very well.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Thanks.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
But yeah, I think it's just doing what makes you happy,
because I think if you read and you follow all the.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Things, it just makes you well, there's a lot out there. Yeah, Mark,
all right.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
This one's from anonymous. Hi Beka, Tanya, Mark, and Easton.
I'm a big fan of the podcast and I listen
every week. Thank you for all the laughter and all
that you do to bring us joy.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
You're welcome.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
I'm hoping you can help me through a situation. I've
been married for three point five years and i have
a one year old. Without going into much detail, I
recently learned that my mother in law and sister in
law have been texting each other about me and my mother,
and they've been making very rude and inappropriate comments. For example,
my mother in law called my mother stupid and my
sister in law called me crazy and insane, to which
my mother in law agreed. They clearly have no respect
(11:05):
for my family or for myself. One of them even
commented that my husband married into my abnormal family. My
husband shared with me that he tells his sister about
everything and anything that happens in our marriage and never
I asked him to stop. He said, she's my sister
and I'll do as I please. To be very blunt,
I don't like my in laws, let alone be like
being around them. They have no boundaries. What do I
(11:25):
do moving forward? I appreciate any and all advice.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I do not like what her husbands.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Yeah, yeah, that's the biggest red flag. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I oh, this is so tough because I think my
thing is like, when you choose your partner, that becomes
your family. And I feel like him not only not
defending you, but sharing everything with his sister and knowing
that there's a some tension there, and then on top
(11:58):
of that, you are vulnerable enough to ask him not He.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Says that what I please?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Yikes, I mean, you did what you That would be
my advice. Go to your husband and say, please stop
sharing everything with your sister. That would literally be my advice.
So I'm at a loss.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Maybe you.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Does she say how she found out that they were
saying these things or she just stound out She.
Speaker 6 (12:31):
Doesn't want to go into much detail. She recently learned
maybe texting each other. I feel like she probably looked
through his phone or something. I mean, I would be
shocked if the husband was like complaining about his wife
to his sister, you know, like and they're they're all
just piling on. I don't want to introduce that because
that makes it even worse. But his reaction makes me
think that like.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
At this point, if you have, like with your husband,
if you sit down with him and say, like, is
there something that I've done for y'all to like speak
about me that way? And I would appreciate if you
have a problem that you come to me, because hearing
these things or reading these things.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Is really hurtful.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
And I would like to have a as good of
a relationship as we can have, like we're family, But
I don't feel like this is the way that we
can do that. I mean, it might be just a
very vulnerable place for you, but I also think you
need to make sure your husband's going to have your back,
because if you're going into war with his family and
he doesn't even have your back, then you're going.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
To be alone.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, this fill is bad couple therapy. Maybe that's his
response to that he's not going to couple therapy.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I can tell you that I think I have really
high expectations that maybe her own therapy.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
That's a start.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I agree, and just like figure out how to navigate
the hard conversations because I I unfortunately feel like you're
very alone in this, which isn't fair.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
And I also don't think it should be this way.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I think at the very least he should say, listen,
it's us, it's our family, and I'm so sorry for
what my family says and how they talk about you.
But I've got your back and we're each other's family. Yeah,
and he's not doing that. So I think you need
to figure out what you can do from your own
standpoint without feeling vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Yeah, but I'm.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Really sorry you're going through that. That's really hard.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Let's take a break, but we'll tease it. Oh, coming
up next on scrubbing in with the tills and rad
yad from the scrubbing impat My boyfriend's mom bribed him
to move home. Yes, look, could that be that's next?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
All right, we're back, back back, baby, Yeah, we're back.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I'm in the spelling thing today. Really, what else you Yeah?
I did, I did it earlier before I was there. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Oh these things of the day.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Thank you, Hi, Bega in Tanya. I love you guys
so much. This might be more for Tanya, but I
take advice from everyone too. My boyfriend of two years
just broke up with me because his mom bribed him
with fifty thousand dollars to move back home, and he
took it.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I would take it too.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
We were literally looking at rings weeks before this happened.
I love him so much. He moved across the country
to be with me, but his mom has always been
an issue. For example, the last time I saw her,
when I had my hair and makeup done, she said,
I had no idea you could be pretty.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
My question, can I ever take someone back after they've
hurt me this badly? Specifically for Tanya, how did you
rebuild trust after Robbie broke your heart? To be clear,
he treated me so well, but now I can't shake
the feeling that I'm worth less than fifty thousand dollars
to him, and his mom will always come first. Help Well,
one question I have is nowhere in this does it
(16:23):
indicate that he wants to get back together like you?
Speaker 6 (16:26):
Right?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
He moved away, he took the fifty grand, he pieced down,
and he's gone. And you're saying can I ever take
him back? Are you? Is that a hypothetical or is
he actually returning to you and saying I made a mistake.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
It made like a noise.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
It not in here.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
What do you have to say she said it for you?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Well, I would tend to agree with Mark.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Nowhere in here did she did she say he's coming
back and trying to get back with her. But I
do feel like people break up and people get back together,
and I think if you make the choice, whatever you
choose to do, you have to move past the you
know what I mean, Like, you have to just move
past it. You can't hold it over his head forever, Like, oh,
(17:10):
but you broke up with me in twenty nineteen, you
know what I mean? You can't because I was doing
that for a while. I was like make saying stuff
like that after we got back together, and he was like,
you chose to be back in this with me, So like,
you know, we hashed it all out and that's in
our past.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
So it's like, if you do.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Decide to you do have to hash it out and
then just you're going to have to move past it.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, and here's the thing, unless he breaks the chain
with his mom, you are always going to come after
his mom, is what I'm gathering from this.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
And she doesn't like you in the slightest, I think
you're better off.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
Yeah, this is going to be a rough future together.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yes, yeah, you know what your future is? Your future
is the letter we read a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Ago, I know.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
And then what if, like you guys get back together,
and then his mom bribes him with one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Right audio to get that number up high, right.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Right, I'll show my mom and get her up to
two hunderd k.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, but even those little nasty comments like you were
in for a root awakening with the mother in law,
so yeah, horrible and it's hard, and it feels like
he was so wonderful and treated to do so well,
it wasn't enough for him to respect you enough to stay.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Maybe it's like the dog the bear ate his phone,
that's why he didn't text you act.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
But maybe he's like hard for cash.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
And he like if you guys were looking at rings,
he like really needs the fifty thousand. So he's just
taking the money and moving back. And then he's gonna
like be like, I used it to buy you a ring.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Tell her that put it.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. But what if Okay,
you're right.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I would think, yeah, and that would be a horrible
way to come back and propose after making her.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
He's like, you thought we broke up. That's right.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
Is worth for Yeah, Yeah, I think you move on.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
But I do agree with the sentiment of like, if
you choose to be back with someone after they've done
you wrong, you have to choose to move forward, yeah,
because otherwise the relationship is never gonna thrive.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Yeah, and then you're just playing like you're just you
keep what is it hitting the dead horse? Beating a
dead horse, and it's just like it's not productive.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
It's a terrible phrase, by the way, I know.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
All right, here's this one from jen Hey Scrubbing and Crew.
You guys are the best and always answer the hard
hitting questions with great advice. Here's a funny one for you.
Is it wrong to not have a major event pinned
so that it appears at the top of your Instagram feed.
My boyfriend has the day he got his dog and
when he won his college basketball championships pinned, but not
a about our new home that we just bought together.
(20:02):
He laughs it off, but it irks me. Am I
overthinking this. I recall one episode when you were talking
about pinning people on your messages app so they appeared
at the top. So I thought you guys might have
some laughs and advice on this one. Congrat'speck on the
studying engagement and ring and Tanya on such a beautiful wedding.
Please stop never doing this podcast. Thanks Jan I agree.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Please never stop doing this podcast.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
Please stop never, Oh man, please stop doing this podcast.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Sorry, this sounds like something you would care about more
than us.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
When I discovered Robbie unpinned our wedding day was like,
oh my god, excuse me when I don't know No, no,
it wasn't.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
I can't remember when I noticed it, but I like
noticed it, and I was like, when did you want
pin our wedding?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
He was like last week? Why I got to keep
that up for a year. It's like why, It's not
like you have to scroll far, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Like his his explanation was like, everything's basically just on
my feed, Like there's not much to my feed, so
it's it's still there. It's not like it's moving down,
whereas like if I unpinned mine, it would just be lost.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Nothing is pinned correct, it was replaced.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
No, no, no, he has no pins.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
But still I can sympathize the gen because I do,
Like I was shook when I realized he unpinned our
wedding day. I was like, it's just old news to you.
They say, get married and then they just unpinned the
wedding day.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Yeah, gin, I can tell him.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
No, I'm kidding. But maybe the only reason.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
He's not putting pinning your house is because, like, for
security purposes, you're not supposed to post like photos of
keys and things like that.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
He should ends up laughing at all. He should just say, hey,
it's for security purposes, right.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
But I also do feel like it's just not that
deep to guys, like he's probably just like I don't know,
you know, Like I just think it's a totally different mindset.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
And I truly do believe that.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Oh yeah, me too.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It's like Venus and Mars.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Yeah, yeah, there's something that you and Haley were doing.
I have to remember now I'm gonna have to think
about it and get back to you. But then I
was like, beck and Haley do this, and he was like,
there are two women. And I was like, you're right,
that does make a difference. Oh was it whatever, I'll
think about it.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
All right, let me know.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah, I think you just laugh it off. I don't
think it's anything personal.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Yeah, it's not that deep.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, if he like doesn't post you on his Instagram period,
right the flag, there's some suspicion there, But if you're
if you're regular regular in the feed, no stress.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Yeah, he's protecting you'll.
Speaker 6 (22:57):
I mean to me, this means like he pinned posts
when you got that feature. He just was like, oh,
when I got you know, champ and when I won
my championship, and he just pinned them both and never
revisited the feature. Again, That's what it sounds like to me,
Like my, I have one pin post and it's the
day I'm at the Beach Boys, And that was just
because that was that's what came to mind when you
(23:18):
could pin things, and I have not pinned anything else since.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Yeah, I had three pins for my wedding and once
he took his off, I was like, I'm taking two off.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
But here's my question, because this does go into the
topic of.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Showing up in a way.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
If it's even if it's not important to him, it's important.
So if he has if he didn't have anything pinned,
I'd be like, well, that's just not his saying like
I don't.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
I've never had anything penned, So.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Like, you don't have your engagement pen.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I don't have anything. Shyley has pins.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
You don't have your engagement anything.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I've never pinned anything on my page. Why I just don't.
I just don't do it. But so anyways, but if
Haley came to me and said, hey, I would really
like for our engagement to be pinned, then I'd be like,
oh my gosh, and a thousand percent I'll do that
because it doesn't it doesn't affect me either way, but
if it's important to her, then I'm gonna do it.
(24:16):
So even though I think it's a non issue, there
is a part of me that goes, Okay, she's communicating
and he has other pins. So if it's something other
than safety issues and he's not giving her a reason
for it, then why won't he pin it?
Speaker 5 (24:31):
It's giving controlling from her, no from him, like she wants.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
This and I'm not going to her. It's like I'm
gonna laugh at all.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yeah, instead of being like it's another If it's important
to her and I have these other pins of important moments,
then why not pin it for a week or whatever?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, So jeh, you're right, Beca, You're right.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Because there are things that I think are important, and
Haley's like babe, but because it's important to me, she
will do things that she thinks are maybe like a
non issue.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, and my compromise.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
So that's my take on it.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Do I like Becca's take better than my own?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Wow? Very generous of you to say that.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I do.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
We have one more fun one, but first.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Oh a break.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Indeed, we're back from Cammi Hi, Tanya, Becca Market easton
(25:38):
greeting from South Dakota. Yes, people live here. I've been
to South Dakota. Me too, Really, I visited Mount Rushmore
when I was a lad on The Bachelor.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Oh look at that one on one date was deadwood?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Dead with South Dakota. Anyone else been to South Dakota?
But still half the team has been there, So that's
pretty good. Cami. On a not so serious note, what
is everyone's talk? I want you to be as specific
as possible, and then I'd like you to rank your
top five fast food restaurants. Love the pod and thanks
for keeping me entertained at work.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
I mean I got the both these answers.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
You go ahead, both of you.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
I weirdly know mine too. I mean I don't want
to talk about often but I know my order.
Speaker 6 (26:20):
Okay, Well, my order is I get a cheesy Gordy
to crunch, I get a crunch Wrap supreme with three
cheese instead of nacho cheese, and then I get a
large wild cherry PEPSI wow.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
The thing about Taco Bell is that I switch it
up because the menu is so good.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
So I would say.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
My current order lately has been a Mexican pizza with beans,
no meat, beans, cheese, tomato, and then I add sour
cream on top, and then the chips and cheese nachos
because that cheese is like the best cheese in the world.
And then I get a Baja Blast mountain what's it
called Mountain dew, Baja Blast.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Zero or whatever.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
But I've also really been into a just like a
soft taco, just like a classic soft taco delicious.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
My order is a bean and cheese burrito with no onions,
extra sauce, two orders of nacho's so like, you know,
the chips and cheese because I like to dip the
chips into.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
The britos of theo. And then I get a double
decker taco.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
They don't have that anymore.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Since when well it's been a long time.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Damn, I know I have been chasing the hive of
a double deck.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
They brought it back for a second, and then they
got rid.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Of it again. Well that's my order, and then I
a water.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
It's great.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
I can't forget the cinnamon twist.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
And throw me some cinnamon twist. But I'm not really
a guy who goes with the taco bell because I
got cheese issues. So whatever I get would be without cheese.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Mark, it's not real cheese.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
It's a three cheese blend, one of those cheese is.
Chances are it's a problem. I can't risk my life
on a three cheese blend.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
You could do a lot of stuff without cheese there.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Yeah, and cheese burrito.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Oh they have like avocado. Now you could get rice.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I would do a chicken burrito. I would do it.
Definitely do a breakfast burrito if I made it there
before the time and say no cheese, That's what I
would do. I like a cinnamon twist.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Oh, cinnamon twist. Top five fast food places in and out?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I would say, I also say in and out.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
I would say in and out, in and out, okay.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
On our list?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
What else?
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Any other nominees?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
I would say Taco Bell is in my list.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Not on my list, but anyone else.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yeah, I'd say it's on my list.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Okay, what's up.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Oh I'm taco is not on my list.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Okay, let's get your top five.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I think Sonic has got to be a I love Sonic.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Yeah, I'm shocked that you love Sonic. It was that
like really fun thing for me to do in college.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Yeah, me too, I have like very nostalgiic. Okay, uh, actually.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Talk about it was on my listpits at the bottom.
It's in and out. Wendy's. Wendy's good one, raising Cane's
McDonald's Taco Bell.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Wendy's is a good one because you really can't get
that fry's and milkshake combo anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I think Wendy's has the best fries. Oh interesting, I do.
I believe that where the McDonald's that's right for.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
You to Wendy's fry like plane like virgin like with
nothing like only in the frosty.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yes, okay, but still just the fact that you could
put it in the frosty hints at a certain amount of
structural integrity that French.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yes like a McDonald's one is gonna be crumbled up there.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
That's not true.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
But I like a McDonald's fry better than a Wendy's fry.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
That okay, I'll go these actually can they change depending
on just my life and where I'm out in life.
But I'll give you my top five in and out McDonald's, Taco, Bell, Sonic, and.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
I'm gonna go raising kids, all.
Speaker 5 (30:02):
Right, Okay, I'm gonna go in and Out's my number one,
Sonics my number two. I guess Tacobo would my three
Jack in the box? Interesting because I love the tacos
and the curly fry. I'm gonna go Carls Junior. Wow, Yeah, okay,
(30:26):
that's right.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
That's I'm gonna say. Oh, shake shack, okay, honorable mentions.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
All right. I'm going in and out on the top
McDonald's for purely nostalgic reasons. I loved it growing up,
always hung that was the high school hangout was McDonald's, Wendy's.
Love the fries. Uh, I'm putting on Dairy Queen. I'm
a big fan of the Dairy Queen.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
That's not really like it is.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
It's fast food. It's a chain like they even have
burgers and stuff there which I don't get. But on
my first day with my wife, we went after the
baseball game, went to til We went to a dairy
Quinn and I love it independent of that feeling anyway.
And uh and then a number five of putting culvers
because it's a Wisconsin company. Shout out to culvers.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
My parents love culvers.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Culvers have some obsessive fans.
Speaker 6 (31:15):
Yeah, it's I had it one time in Utah.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
It was so good.
Speaker 6 (31:19):
They had a they had a burger and it was
made of a giant cheese curd. It was so cool.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Wait, does culvers have custard? Frozen custard?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yes, okay, yeah, that's what my parents always go get burgers.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
And you would love the frozen custard.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
It sounds like it.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
You would love it. By the way, I'm good with
all of it. You get your ice cream, you got
your custard, you got your frozen yogurt, you got your gelato.
I love it all. Wait.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
I also love Freddy's.
Speaker 6 (31:44):
Freddy's Freddy there's more Freddy's coming out Southern California. Yeah,
we're we're in for a tree.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
That would be my honorable mention because I don't get
it often. Well, that was I loved that conversation. That
was so fun.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I love a being and cheese burried up from tacobot.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
Yeah, I feel like I learned a lot about you
just now.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
No one is exciting dip the chip That's what I
do too, but I go no sauce. Yeah, if you're
missing out.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
A note on this thrilling note, we do have to
go g O. But it's a it's it's it's just
in time for the weekend.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
So we love you so much.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I love you, I love e b y e
Scrubbing In with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hello everybody rubbing it?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
It's Tills and yeah and the scrubbing and pad helloll.
Speaker 4 (00:22):
She's still not used to the opening line.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
No, she's taking off with puffer and getting comfortable and
puffing her through it. Why are you guys all staring
at me?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Because we're on and we're on ding Ding our first
podcast of the week.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Somebody's home. She's home, She's home. How you doing dang great?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
How ding ding in being great?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I'm backing. I started up therapy again. All right, Yeah,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I love that for you.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
It's been great. But it's a new therapist.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
I love her, but she makes me cry, Like my
sessions have been just like crying.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Why did you get a new one?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I just wasn't feeling like I felt like the other
ones I had.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
They were wonderful for the.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Time that I had them and when I needed them,
but I felt like it was just me talking for
a long time, like for an hour, and there wasn't
a lot of like, uh, feedback in terms of things
I could do or you know, there wasn't just like
it was just me talking for like an hour.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Yeah, so I feel like I do that on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And not with the same topics, but you know, I
just was like looking for a little more like feedback.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah, I feel like it's intimidating.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
Like I've only had one therapist, and I'm like, I
just want to keep her forever because the thought of
like giving a new one all the background, I'm so daunting,
and I'm like, she already knows so much.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I know, but.
Speaker 5 (01:51):
I feel the same way, like I just feel like
it's always this, it always comes back to the same thing,
and I'm like, it's not that well it might.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Be, it's not that.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
It really might be.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
But yeah, so that's something new in my life. And
I was I wasn't like resistant towards it at all.
I was just kind of like, oh, do it when
I'm when I'm ready, when I'm ready. And that's one
of those things where like you don't feel ready to
bear your soul and to hear things that are tough, tough.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
That's why I like therapy though, because I'm like, I
feel all the time that we think our ideas, our
opinions the way that we do things is always right,
do you know what I mean? Like we just think
our opinions and our stuff is always right, but that's
not the case. There's no right and wrong. There's just
like different ways to do the same thing.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
So I like that.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I like that challenge.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm excited. But she's she's learning about
me right now.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
So we're in that face feeling her in.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
She read me a poem the other.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Day, but she started the first it was a Mary
Oliver poem in the first instance, is like, you don't
have to be good, and I just like burst into tears.
I was like just staring at her while she was reading,
like solving. But anyways, I'm it feels good.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Everything's good here, everything, everything's fine worth arriving.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
But it is one of those things where like if
you've considered therapy and you're like I'm not ready, I'm
not ready, just you just have to go for it.
If you're feeling like I need therapy, you're not gonna
feel like ready for therapy, if that makes sense.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
So I I've been reading The Universe Has Your Back
by Gabrielle Bernstein. We've had her on the podcast before Yeah,
it's an amazing book, and I'd love to have her
back because I just feel like it hits.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Let's get her back.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I doubt she'll come in studio. She's a busy gal.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Maybe she will.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Maybe she will.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
That's not the attitude.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Yeah, that's right, Like Patrick Dempsey were ill. Wait is open.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Patrick, whenever you're just feeling a need to come on
and hang with the gals and guys, We're ready, We're ready.
It is a dear Bonia episode. It's been a minute
since we've done a deer Bonia.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Should we rotate who reads the emails? Because I feel
like I might be hogging the email reading. You're so
good at that. I appreciate that, Easton, but I also
feel a little guilty sometimes that I'm doing all the reading.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I don't Why do you feel guilty.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
If you get tired?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Alternate banyas today?
Speaker 6 (04:38):
Okay, I like that?
Speaker 1 (04:39):
All right, great, lovely.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
It's a really weird thing.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Look, I just want the show to be great.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Are people saying they don't like you reading the I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I just feel like I always read the emails and
that can get old, my voice can get old. I
don't want to hog anything. I don't want to take
old for the show.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Wait before you start.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I was watching old episodes of Ben's season of the Bachelor.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I never do.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
I was trying to find I was trying to find
these old clips of me and Jojo for a video. Ever,
so I was like just skimming through them. I wasn't
like sitting, but I could not watch my scene. I
had to fast forward through, like anything that was just me.
It is so strange seeing that version of myself. But
also watching I remember watching it live and being like, God,
this is brutal watching yourself on TV like that. But wow,
(05:35):
what a time my outfits everything. I was like, this
is so crazy. And Haley we were watching and.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
She was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I remember watching this and being like devastated for Jojo
when he didn't choose her.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
I forgot about that.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
But I was thinking about like while hearing my voice
is so crazy and I can't believe people listen every
week to.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Their own voice. That's a fascinating thing.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
So and maybe that's part of it. I hear it
on the podcast. I'm like, that's a lot of me,
you know. Anyway about us, no because it's not you're
not my voice.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
It's giving weird.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
It's really considering the things that are brought up on
this podcast, it's not that weird.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Trying to always always be evolving, Tanya, never get complacent,
h from Nicole, what why.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Are you staring at me?
Speaker 6 (06:31):
Read that?
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Mark, de Becca, Tanya Easton and Mark. I've been here
since Becca's bachelor days and seeing her happiness with Haley
has been the best journey and I wish them forever happiness.
This question is for Tanya. I am also in my
TTC trying to conceive era. My question is what are
we doing in this era? Are we drinking? Are we
eating raw fish and deli meat? Are we doing these
(06:52):
things only if we get our period? What is the
modern woman approach? Love you all?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:59):
I think, in my personal opinion, you should just do
whatever makes you the most comfortable, because I feel like
there's so much out there that I've been reading about
what's good, what's bad, what you should do, what you
shouldn't do, and it's like, if you're doing all the things,
you're gonna make yourself totally nuts. And that's what they're
they say in this era. That's why I'm trying to
be in my soft girl era. You're supposed to just
be like calm and chill and you're not supposed to stress.
(07:22):
And I feel like if you're stressing about eating raw
fish or Deli meat, or like you're stressed out about
everything that you're eating or drinking, it's gonna add stress,
which I think is probably the worst thing.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
So if you want to eat some.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Raw fish, I'm eating raw fish, I'm eating I don't
really eat Deli meat, so I'm not eating Deli meat.
I'm not drinking. And that's just my personal approach. But
I feel like, whatever, if you eat Deli meat all
the time, Like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I'm not a doctor, so it's not is just this
is I think that's good advice, though, because I think
people get focused on what one person says to do
and then they go like crazy, like.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Somebody was like somebody was like, don't drink coffee. I'm like,
I'll be a horrible human being. And I so I've
tried to cut it down, so like I take the
espresso that I would normally put in, and I like
dump a little bit of it out. So I'm just
trying to just like be mindful without like going so extreme.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Right, because I think the more relaxed you are without
like overthinking about things, yea, the way to go.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, but everyone's on their own journey.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Everyone's on their own journey.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
Yeah, congrats to Jojo and Jordan's.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
So exciting, so so just beyond happy.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Yeah, everyone's just popping them out.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I know.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
And I don't know if it's because I'm no, I
don't know if it's because I'm in this era, but
like I swear, I'm constantly seeing pregnant people cross our
path all the time. Like we went on a date
the other night and we saw three pregnant women that night.
And I don't know if it's like I'm like this
is a or like there were just a lot of
pregnant people in the world and I'm just now I'm
(09:05):
I'm aware of it, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Because that Murphy's law, or like you start seeing like
there's things that have always been there, but you're like.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Aware of them now. It's not Murphy's always mess it up.
It's something Murphy's laws.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Anything that can can go wrong will go wrong.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Okay, not that, definitely, not that.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Whatever bias it recently.
Speaker 6 (09:24):
Yeah, It's it's like when you buy a new car
and then you see that you see four fusions everywhere.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh, y'all's kid is just gonna be
so cute.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
It's definitely like emotional, Like I was saying, I got
my period and I just like ball, Yeah, like it
and I like cried multiple days.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
You know what it is though, what I was saying,
because Ali and I were talking about this where I
feel like growing up, you hear about people getting pregnant
and like some people it's such a it's a surprise
and they had no idea and so you go, of course,
it's just we're gonna do it. Sex, It's gonna happen. Yeah,
And it's like there are so many things that have
(10:03):
to align for it, and it's like, wow, it's really
a miracle.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yeah, all of it, all of us miracles. True.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
But yeah, it's everyone's journey, and I think you've handled
it very well and are handling it very well.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Thanks.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
But yeah, I think it's just doing what makes you happy,
because I think if you read and you follow all the.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Things, it just makes you well, there's a lot out there. Yeah, Mark,
all right.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
This one's from anonymous. Hi Beka, Tanya, Mark, and Easton.
I'm a big fan of the podcast and I listen
every week. Thank you for all the laughter and all
that you do to bring us joy.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
You're welcome.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
I'm hoping you can help me through a situation. I've
been married for three point five years and i have
a one year old. Without going into much detail, I
recently learned that my mother in law and sister in
law have been texting each other about me and my mother,
and they've been making very rude and inappropriate comments. For example,
my mother in law called my mother stupid and my
sister in law called me crazy and insane, to which
my mother in law agreed. They clearly have no respect
(11:05):
for my family or for myself. One of them even
commented that my husband married into my abnormal family. My
husband shared with me that he tells his sister about
everything and anything that happens in our marriage and never
I asked him to stop. He said, she's my sister
and I'll do as I please. To be very blunt,
I don't like my in laws, let alone be like
being around them. They have no boundaries. What do I
(11:25):
do moving forward? I appreciate any and all advice.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
I do not like what her husbands.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Yeah, yeah, that's the biggest red flag. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I oh, this is so tough because I think my
thing is like, when you choose your partner, that becomes
your family. And I feel like him not only not
defending you, but sharing everything with his sister and knowing
that there's a some tension there, and then on top
(11:58):
of that, you are vulnerable enough to ask him not He.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Says that what I please?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Yikes, I mean, you did what you That would be
my advice. Go to your husband and say, please stop
sharing everything with your sister. That would literally be my advice.
So I'm at a loss.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Maybe you.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Does she say how she found out that they were
saying these things or she just stound out She.
Speaker 6 (12:31):
Doesn't want to go into much detail. She recently learned
maybe texting each other. I feel like she probably looked
through his phone or something. I mean, I would be
shocked if the husband was like complaining about his wife
to his sister, you know, like and they're they're all
just piling on. I don't want to introduce that because
that makes it even worse. But his reaction makes me
think that like.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
At this point, if you have, like with your husband,
if you sit down with him and say, like, is
there something that I've done for y'all to like speak
about me that way? And I would appreciate if you
have a problem that you come to me, because hearing
these things or reading these things.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Is really hurtful.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
And I would like to have a as good of
a relationship as we can have, like we're family, But
I don't feel like this is the way that we
can do that. I mean, it might be just a
very vulnerable place for you, but I also think you
need to make sure your husband's going to have your back,
because if you're going into war with his family and
he doesn't even have your back, then you're going.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
To be alone.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, this fill is bad couple therapy. Maybe that's his
response to that he's not going to couple therapy.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I can tell you that I think I have really
high expectations that maybe her own therapy.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
That's a start.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I agree, and just like figure out how to navigate
the hard conversations because I I unfortunately feel like you're
very alone in this, which isn't fair.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
And I also don't think it should be this way.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I think at the very least he should say, listen,
it's us, it's our family, and I'm so sorry for
what my family says and how they talk about you.
But I've got your back and we're each other's family. Yeah,
and he's not doing that. So I think you need
to figure out what you can do from your own
standpoint without feeling vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Yeah, but I'm.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Really sorry you're going through that. That's really hard.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Let's take a break, but we'll tease it. Oh, coming
up next on scrubbing in with the tills and rad
yad from the scrubbing impat My boyfriend's mom bribed him
to move home. Yes, look, could that be that's next?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
All right, we're back, back back, baby, Yeah, we're back.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I'm in the spelling thing today. Really, what else you Yeah?
I did, I did it earlier before I was there. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Oh these things of the day.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Thank you, Hi, Bega in Tanya. I love you guys
so much. This might be more for Tanya, but I
take advice from everyone too. My boyfriend of two years
just broke up with me because his mom bribed him
with fifty thousand dollars to move back home, and he
took it.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I would take it too.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
We were literally looking at rings weeks before this happened.
I love him so much. He moved across the country
to be with me, but his mom has always been
an issue. For example, the last time I saw her,
when I had my hair and makeup done, she said,
I had no idea you could be pretty.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
My question, can I ever take someone back after they've
hurt me this badly? Specifically for Tanya, how did you
rebuild trust after Robbie broke your heart? To be clear,
he treated me so well, but now I can't shake
the feeling that I'm worth less than fifty thousand dollars
to him, and his mom will always come first. Help Well,
one question I have is nowhere in this does it
(16:23):
indicate that he wants to get back together like you?
Speaker 6 (16:26):
Right?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
He moved away, he took the fifty grand, he pieced down,
and he's gone. And you're saying can I ever take
him back? Are you? Is that a hypothetical or is
he actually returning to you and saying I made a mistake.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
It made like a noise.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
It not in here.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
What do you have to say she said it for you?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Well, I would tend to agree with Mark.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Nowhere in here did she did she say he's coming
back and trying to get back with her. But I
do feel like people break up and people get back together,
and I think if you make the choice, whatever you
choose to do, you have to move past the you
know what I mean, Like, you have to just move
past it. You can't hold it over his head forever, Like, oh,
(17:10):
but you broke up with me in twenty nineteen, you
know what I mean? You can't because I was doing
that for a while. I was like make saying stuff
like that after we got back together, and he was like,
you chose to be back in this with me, So like,
you know, we hashed it all out and that's in
our past.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
So it's like, if you do.
Speaker 5 (17:25):
Decide to you do have to hash it out and
then just you're going to have to move past it.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, and here's the thing, unless he breaks the chain
with his mom, you are always going to come after
his mom, is what I'm gathering from this.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
And she doesn't like you in the slightest, I think
you're better off.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
Yeah, this is going to be a rough future together.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yes, yeah, you know what your future is? Your future
is the letter we read a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Ago, I know.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
And then what if, like you guys get back together,
and then his mom bribes him with one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Right audio to get that number up high, right.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Right, I'll show my mom and get her up to
two hunderd k.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, but even those little nasty comments like you were
in for a root awakening with the mother in law,
so yeah, horrible and it's hard, and it feels like
he was so wonderful and treated to do so well,
it wasn't enough for him to respect you enough to stay.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
Maybe it's like the dog the bear ate his phone,
that's why he didn't text you act.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
But maybe he's like hard for cash.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
And he like if you guys were looking at rings,
he like really needs the fifty thousand. So he's just
taking the money and moving back. And then he's gonna
like be like, I used it to buy you a ring.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Tell her that put it.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. But what if Okay,
you're right.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I would think, yeah, and that would be a horrible
way to come back and propose after making her.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
He's like, you thought we broke up. That's right.
Speaker 4 (19:02):
Is worth for Yeah, Yeah, I think you move on.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
But I do agree with the sentiment of like, if
you choose to be back with someone after they've done
you wrong, you have to choose to move forward, yeah,
because otherwise the relationship is never gonna thrive.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Yeah, and then you're just playing like you're just you
keep what is it hitting the dead horse? Beating a
dead horse, and it's just like it's not productive.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
It's a terrible phrase, by the way, I know.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
All right, here's this one from jen Hey Scrubbing and Crew.
You guys are the best and always answer the hard
hitting questions with great advice. Here's a funny one for you.
Is it wrong to not have a major event pinned
so that it appears at the top of your Instagram feed.
My boyfriend has the day he got his dog and
when he won his college basketball championships pinned, but not
a about our new home that we just bought together.
(20:02):
He laughs it off, but it irks me. Am I
overthinking this. I recall one episode when you were talking
about pinning people on your messages app so they appeared
at the top. So I thought you guys might have
some laughs and advice on this one. Congrat'speck on the
studying engagement and ring and Tanya on such a beautiful wedding.
Please stop never doing this podcast. Thanks Jan I agree.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Please never stop doing this podcast.
Speaker 6 (20:23):
Please stop never, Oh man, please stop doing this podcast.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Sorry, this sounds like something you would care about more
than us.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
When I discovered Robbie unpinned our wedding day was like,
oh my god, excuse me when I don't know No, no,
it wasn't.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
I can't remember when I noticed it, but I like
noticed it, and I was like, when did you want
pin our wedding?
Speaker 3 (20:55):
He was like last week? Why I got to keep
that up for a year. It's like why, It's not
like you have to scroll far, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Like his his explanation was like, everything's basically just on
my feed, Like there's not much to my feed, so
it's it's still there. It's not like it's moving down,
whereas like if I unpinned mine, it would just be lost.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Nothing is pinned correct, it was replaced.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
No, no, no, he has no pins.
Speaker 5 (21:23):
But still I can sympathize the gen because I do,
Like I was shook when I realized he unpinned our
wedding day. I was like, it's just old news to you.
They say, get married and then they just unpinned the
wedding day.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Yeah, gin, I can tell him.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
No, I'm kidding. But maybe the only reason.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
He's not putting pinning your house is because, like, for
security purposes, you're not supposed to post like photos of
keys and things like that.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
He should ends up laughing at all. He should just say, hey,
it's for security purposes, right.
Speaker 5 (22:03):
But I also do feel like it's just not that
deep to guys, like he's probably just like I don't know,
you know, Like I just think it's a totally different mindset.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
And I truly do believe that.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Oh yeah, me too.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It's like Venus and Mars.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Yeah, yeah, there's something that you and Haley were doing.
I have to remember now I'm gonna have to think
about it and get back to you. But then I
was like, beck and Haley do this, and he was like,
there are two women. And I was like, you're right,
that does make a difference. Oh was it whatever, I'll
think about it.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
All right, let me know.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah, I think you just laugh it off. I don't
think it's anything personal.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Yeah, it's not that deep.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, if he like doesn't post you on his Instagram period,
right the flag, there's some suspicion there, But if you're
if you're regular regular in the feed, no stress.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Yeah, he's protecting you'll.
Speaker 6 (22:57):
I mean to me, this means like he pinned posts
when you got that feature. He just was like, oh,
when I got you know, champ and when I won
my championship, and he just pinned them both and never
revisited the feature. Again, That's what it sounds like to me,
Like my, I have one pin post and it's the
day I'm at the Beach Boys, And that was just
because that was that's what came to mind when you
(23:18):
could pin things, and I have not pinned anything else since.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Yeah, I had three pins for my wedding and once
he took his off, I was like, I'm taking two off.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
But here's my question, because this does go into the
topic of.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Showing up in a way.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
If it's even if it's not important to him, it's important.
So if he has if he didn't have anything pinned,
I'd be like, well, that's just not his saying like
I don't.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
I've never had anything penned, So.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Like, you don't have your engagement pen.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I don't have anything. Shyley has pins.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
You don't have your engagement anything.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
I've never pinned anything on my page. Why I just don't.
I just don't do it. But so anyways, but if
Haley came to me and said, hey, I would really
like for our engagement to be pinned, then I'd be like,
oh my gosh, and a thousand percent I'll do that
because it doesn't it doesn't affect me either way, but
if it's important to her, then I'm gonna do it.
(24:16):
So even though I think it's a non issue, there
is a part of me that goes, Okay, she's communicating
and he has other pins. So if it's something other
than safety issues and he's not giving her a reason
for it, then why won't he pin it?
Speaker 5 (24:31):
It's giving controlling from her, no from him, like she wants.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
This and I'm not going to her. It's like I'm
gonna laugh at all.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yeah, instead of being like it's another If it's important
to her and I have these other pins of important moments,
then why not pin it for a week or whatever?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, So jeh, you're right, Beca, You're right.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Because there are things that I think are important, and
Haley's like babe, but because it's important to me, she
will do things that she thinks are maybe like a
non issue.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, and my compromise.
Speaker 4 (25:05):
So that's my take on it.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Do I like Becca's take better than my own?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Wow? Very generous of you to say that.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I do.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
We have one more fun one, but first.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Oh a break.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Indeed, we're back from Cammi Hi, Tanya, Becca Market easton
(25:38):
greeting from South Dakota. Yes, people live here. I've been
to South Dakota. Me too, Really, I visited Mount Rushmore
when I was a lad on The Bachelor.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Oh look at that one on one date was deadwood?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Dead with South Dakota. Anyone else been to South Dakota?
But still half the team has been there, So that's
pretty good. Cami. On a not so serious note, what
is everyone's talk? I want you to be as specific
as possible, and then I'd like you to rank your
top five fast food restaurants. Love the pod and thanks
for keeping me entertained at work.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
I mean I got the both these answers.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
You go ahead, both of you.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
I weirdly know mine too. I mean I don't want
to talk about often but I know my order.
Speaker 6 (26:20):
Okay, Well, my order is I get a cheesy Gordy
to crunch, I get a crunch Wrap supreme with three
cheese instead of nacho cheese, and then I get a
large wild cherry PEPSI wow.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
The thing about Taco Bell is that I switch it
up because the menu is so good.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
So I would say.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
My current order lately has been a Mexican pizza with beans,
no meat, beans, cheese, tomato, and then I add sour
cream on top, and then the chips and cheese nachos
because that cheese is like the best cheese in the world.
And then I get a Baja Blast mountain what's it
called Mountain dew, Baja Blast.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Zero or whatever.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
But I've also really been into a just like a
soft taco, just like a classic soft taco delicious.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
My order is a bean and cheese burrito with no onions,
extra sauce, two orders of nacho's so like, you know,
the chips and cheese because I like to dip the
chips into.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
The britos of theo. And then I get a double
decker taco.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
They don't have that anymore.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Since when well it's been a long time.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Damn, I know I have been chasing the hive of
a double deck.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
They brought it back for a second, and then they
got rid.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Of it again. Well that's my order, and then I
a water.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
It's great.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
I can't forget the cinnamon twist.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
And throw me some cinnamon twist. But I'm not really
a guy who goes with the taco bell because I
got cheese issues. So whatever I get would be without cheese.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Mark, it's not real cheese.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
It's a three cheese blend, one of those cheese is.
Chances are it's a problem. I can't risk my life
on a three cheese blend.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
You could do a lot of stuff without cheese there.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Yeah, and cheese burrito.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Oh they have like avocado. Now you could get rice.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I would do a chicken burrito. I would do it.
Definitely do a breakfast burrito if I made it there
before the time and say no cheese, That's what I
would do. I like a cinnamon twist.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
Oh, cinnamon twist. Top five fast food places in and out?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I would say, I also say in and out.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
I would say in and out, in and out, okay.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
On our list?
Speaker 3 (28:37):
What else?
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Any other nominees?
Speaker 4 (28:38):
I would say Taco Bell is in my list.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Not on my list, but anyone else.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yeah, I'd say it's on my list.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Okay, what's up.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Oh I'm taco is not on my list.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
Okay, let's get your top five.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I think Sonic has got to be a I love Sonic.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
Yeah, I'm shocked that you love Sonic. It was that
like really fun thing for me to do in college.
Speaker 4 (28:58):
Yeah, me too, I have like very nostalgiic. Okay, uh, actually.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Talk about it was on my listpits at the bottom.
It's in and out. Wendy's. Wendy's good one, raising Cane's
McDonald's Taco Bell.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Wendy's is a good one because you really can't get
that fry's and milkshake combo anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I think Wendy's has the best fries. Oh interesting, I do.
I believe that where the McDonald's that's right for.
Speaker 5 (29:23):
You to Wendy's fry like plane like virgin like with
nothing like only in the frosty.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yes, okay, but still just the fact that you could
put it in the frosty hints at a certain amount of
structural integrity that French.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yes like a McDonald's one is gonna be crumbled up there.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
That's not true.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
But I like a McDonald's fry better than a Wendy's fry.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
That okay, I'll go these actually can they change depending
on just my life and where I'm out in life.
But I'll give you my top five in and out McDonald's, Taco, Bell, Sonic, and.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
I'm gonna go raising kids, all.
Speaker 5 (30:02):
Right, Okay, I'm gonna go in and Out's my number one,
Sonics my number two. I guess Tacobo would my three
Jack in the box? Interesting because I love the tacos
and the curly fry. I'm gonna go Carls Junior. Wow, Yeah, okay,
(30:26):
that's right.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
That's I'm gonna say. Oh, shake shack, okay, honorable mentions.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
All right. I'm going in and out on the top
McDonald's for purely nostalgic reasons. I loved it growing up,
always hung that was the high school hangout was McDonald's, Wendy's.
Love the fries. Uh, I'm putting on Dairy Queen. I'm
a big fan of the Dairy Queen.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
That's not really like it is.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
It's fast food. It's a chain like they even have
burgers and stuff there which I don't get. But on
my first day with my wife, we went after the
baseball game, went to til We went to a dairy
Quinn and I love it independent of that feeling anyway.
And uh and then a number five of putting culvers
because it's a Wisconsin company. Shout out to culvers.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
My parents love culvers.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Culvers have some obsessive fans.
Speaker 6 (31:15):
Yeah, it's I had it one time in Utah.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
It was so good.
Speaker 6 (31:19):
They had a they had a burger and it was
made of a giant cheese curd. It was so cool.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Wait, does culvers have custard? Frozen custard?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yes, okay, yeah, that's what my parents always go get burgers.
Speaker 4 (31:28):
And you would love the frozen custard.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
It sounds like it.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
You would love it. By the way, I'm good with
all of it. You get your ice cream, you got
your custard, you got your frozen yogurt, you got your gelato.
I love it all. Wait.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
I also love Freddy's.
Speaker 6 (31:44):
Freddy's Freddy there's more Freddy's coming out Southern California. Yeah,
we're we're in for a tree.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
That would be my honorable mention because I don't get
it often. Well, that was I loved that conversation. That
was so fun.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I love a being and cheese burried up from tacobot.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
Yeah, I feel like I learned a lot about you
just now.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
No one is exciting dip the chip That's what I
do too, but I go no sauce. Yeah, if you're
missing out.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
A note on this thrilling note, we do have to
go g O. But it's a it's it's it's just
in time for the weekend.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
So we love you so much.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I love you, I love e b y e
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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