January 30, 2025 • 33 mins
It’s another round of Dear Banya and this one is H-O-T-T-O-G-O!
We help a Scrubber who needs some career advice! Do you stay with coworkers you love, or take a less exciting job for more money??
Tanya revisits her classic “ick” when a guy uses a straw, does it hold up??
And turn the tables and get some advice FROM Scrubbers on Tanya’s wedding!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Scrub what It's just like the way I watch your
eyes get ready to do a jingle.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I just am like anticipating it.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Scarrub dub dub and the dub ub dub.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
The other night, Haley made me dinner and she made
me your Yep, was it delicious? It was delicious.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
So Robbie's mom made us a bon the other night
and hers is so good. And because I got my
teeth bleached, I can't eat it because it's like red.
Speaker 5 (00:49):
God, it's red.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Like you can't stay anything red for theatable features, anything
colored for five days.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Oh oh for five days.
Speaker 5 (00:58):
Yeah, for five days. You're supposed to just like white.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
And I'm like, you don't realize it as you don't
even know how much color you eat until you're in it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
Yeah, sitting on the counter, Could you have spaghetti through
a straw?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
No? I just had chicken.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
That was really funny. People loved it.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
By the way, I saw when Haley left that you
made her cute little to go breakfast burrito and wrote
their names on it. And I was like, whoa Becca
is being extra cute these days.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
I yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
They they left like super early, Haley and Marla to
go to New York, and so I was like, oh,
do you want me to make you like a breakfast
burrito so you can just heat it up and ticket
And then I was like, oh, make Marlon wan too,
and so she posted it and Ali wrote me was like,
you're like domesticated.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Huh.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
He's like, yeah, breakfast burrito.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
It's simple. It's really simple. It's scramp soft, scrambled eggs soft.
Haley wanted have varty cheese, and then I did mozzarella
for a vari I don't really know. It's a little sharp,
Like I don't really like it. It's a little strong
for me. And then I put it in the burrito
that and just cheese an egg, yeah, just SGG and cheese,
(02:18):
and then I just like toasted it on the pan.
But they were both like this was the best, Like
Marlasa was life changing. She's like, what did you put
in there? So I guess I make really good So
it's a little bit about me.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So yeah, if you ever.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Wanted to bring those in for a scrubbing in session,
you know, there'd be no complaints.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
I would be so happy to do that if you
don't mind.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, just egg and cheese. Correct, no protein? Let me,
I guess eggs are protein.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
I'll just take the eggs. Maybe little turkey bacon in mine.
Speaker 6 (02:52):
I could do that.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
Turkey bacon chopped up in there.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, but you have to have it with the tortilla.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Fine, okay, gluten free?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Did they have a gluten free do you like the cassava? Yes?
Speaker 5 (03:11):
They have tons of gluten free ki.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Okay, okay, okay, Yeah, I would love to do that
for you'all. And y'all can let me know how if
they're really good or if they just tasted good, because.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
It sounds like the way you put it on the.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Get a little browned, the fine that a breakfast brito.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
They always put so many tricks.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
And stuff in there, and it's like it doesn't you
know that I would enjoy a little potato in they're that.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
A hash frown or just a thick potato like whatever.
But then they throw in the pico.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
De gao and the green sauce graandmon like multiple cheeses
and like maybe some beans, maybe some rice.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
I'm like, I don't need any of this.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I'm the same.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I don't need any of that.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh really shook right?
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Well, I'll bring you all a simple ah add some additions,
but I'll keep it simple.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Dear Bonnie episode. So let's let's get to the listener.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Well, we've got a lot of response to the boudoir shoot.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Oh oh yeah, we still have to do that.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Like Alyssa, for example, says, listening to Tany talking about
giving Robbie a boudoir shoot as a wedding gifts and
have a few thoughts.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
Do it.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It's something you'll treasure forever and look back on. It
did both my husband. I look back at it often
after a baby. It's such a beautiful reminder of how
amazing women's bodies are.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
We just talked about that on Monday and.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Will forever bring back the emotions you had while doing it.
The modern woman energy is unmatched, and the emotions when
you gave it to Robbie. It's expensive, but spend the money.
Something you don't realize looking into it is the poses
and how it's not natural to pose in lingerie or
even nude. That's where a reputable photographer comes in. I
was hesitant to spend that much on it, but it's
(04:54):
one of the best things I've ever spent money on.
I would argue is the best investment made in our wedding. Whoa, Tanya.
I also ripped out journal entries of when I first
met my husband and put them in there with it.
He's a big swiftie, so I also wrote Taylor's lyrics
to Wildest Dreams in there. Needless to say, I'm a
big advocate for this. Paying someone to give you one
of the best and most fulfilling moments of your life
as a woman and as as soon to be wife,
(05:16):
you will not regret it. I am not rich. I
was literally a professional dog walker and saved up a
long time to do this. Love you guys a day
one scrubber, Alissa, it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Sounds like you need to call them the professionals. I'm
feeling intimidated by that.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I'm just let me tell you, have you ever tried
this one kidnap position?
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, we'll just take all of Sabrina Carpenter's positions from
Taylor and just slap that on a photo.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Respectfully. Alyssa, I'm not one.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
I do not judge anybody on what they want to
invest their money in.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
If this was what you wanted and you feel strongly
about it, go all out and are all in for me.
I have so much faith in the world in Becatilly
as my photographer. I feel safe in your hands, I
feel gorgeous behind your lens, and there's nothing else I
(06:14):
need more than that. So why would I have a
stranger take a picture of me in a very vulnerable
state when one of my best friends will do it.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Here's what I'm thinking, And I don't.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Want, I don't need.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
I'm gonna like get white lingerie, maybe throw a pearl
necklace on and call it a day.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
Like I'm not like changing into all.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
These hoops and tricks and like crotchous panties and stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, I think we set a date.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I do the photos, and if we're like dying and
like laughing over them, and you still want to do
it a little more like elevated, then.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You do it. But like we do it, we do.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Like grision, right, because then we just go to like CBS,
yeah and print them. You're gonna help me find a
photo album on Etsy?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Uh huh? We need to do that fast though.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Oh really I think so, Etsy, do be taking time.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Do be taking time.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
A lot of people love Etsy, let me tell you
he's great. Had a lot of Etsy recommendations.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Because it's it's fun to shop from people who make
it part on like a grand scale and not have
like amazing talents.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
I know, and I realized I have had one bad
experience with Etsy, so too bad experiences with Etsy. So
it has thrown me off of my Etsy game and
I have not partaken in Etsy since. But I think
I might dip my toe back in.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I had a bad experience too.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I bought a coffee table but it had termites from Turkey.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
Wow, termites from Turkey.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
But then Etsy, I just like reported because then I
went to I went to like messages a guy and
the page wasn't there anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So he either blocked me.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I don't know what happened, but uh anyways, Etsy was like,
we're so sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
They refund and me gave me a credit.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Like all those things we bought, like soapholders on Etsy
and my first bathroom they were like the size of
like half of the palm of my They're like miniature.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
They're like.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Your fault because the.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Measurement soap container that doesn't even hold a bar.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
So Kanya, All I'm saying is, I know those measurements
were listed and one someone chose to ignore and just
went based off.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
That was not my fault.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Okay, I'm just saying, you can't blame Etsy for a
user error.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Who is buying a bar of soapholder that can't even
hold a bar.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
From who has mini soap?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Maybe it's for like a doll doll.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
It must have been for a dollhouse. It was crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
So we're gonna do a test shoot for the boudoir shoot.
Like with me, We're not a test shoot, but like
we're gonna I'm gonna put my best foot forward. You're
gonna put your best positions forward, and then we'll just
if we need to bring in how we'll see how
good I am.
Speaker 6 (09:03):
Listen to Julie.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Julie says, I've never emailed in before, but given time
its predicament, I thought it was time. I may or
may not have given my husband the same gift. It's
totally worth it. Such a gift to yourself too. For me,
it was a big confidence building something called treasure best
ship in my life, same as Alyssa, but she says
the professional price was way too much. A twenty five
dollars camera tripod ring light went a long way. It
was so fun to have a modern woman playlist going,
(09:25):
just me and a clicker and the camera tripad posting
however I wanted. Because there were no witnesses, I researched
more high security picture book websites and found MPIs to
be the most recommended. It cost fifty two bucks, delivered
within two weeks, and I've not seen any sexy photo
of me on the internet yet. Have so much fun
with it, having your girls hype you up. It's great,
(09:45):
so she says.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Okay, So I was inundated with DMS about this last week.
Really yeah, And I want to say thank you for
the respect of not putting it in the Facebook group
because I don't want to spoil it for Robbie.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
So everybody went straight to my DMS.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Listen, one name about our scrubbers.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Yes, they love us, love They're gonna they're gonna spoiler.
There are girls girls. Yeah, yeah, I was.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I appreciated that, but I was inundated with d MS
about people that have done this same boudoir photo shoot
for their husbands.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
It's very popular.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Well, so that was two different pieces of advice. One
was like high end, go for go photographer. The other
one was like, get a tripod on your phone and
we're doing it in between ya because I have some
nice cameras, nice cameras, and I know Angles knows the angles.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
If there's something back at Tilly knows, it's angles.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
And unfortunately no one knows my angles.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
I'm willing to learn.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
That's good. That's all I need is a willingness to learn.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
It's a quickie from Courtney.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
She wants to know the name of the pasta, the
gluten free pasta that Tanya mentioned.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
Oh yes, so my apologies. I am locked out of
Facebook for some reason again because I don't even know
why this time. However, I do have the name of
it and.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Stand by. It is called.
Speaker 7 (11:07):
La Okay Sulla de Abruso is the brand? You spell
that r r U s t I c h E
l l A d okay? Oh yeah, the apostrophe a
b r u z z o abruzio and they use corn.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Okay, maybe you could just link it in your story, yes,
in your story.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I think that's an easier way for her for Courtney
to get the box.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
You were fan that that wasn't a riveting segment of
this spelling out.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
But I wanted to put it in the Facebook group,
but I'm locked out of my Facebook.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I asked Robbie.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
I hit babe, can you put this in the Facebook
group so that they can see the thing?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
And he was like, he's a top contributor, he can't
be just lobby and just sorry.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
I don't know if I can because I have a
brand deal right now.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Or have Crystal do it on the scrubbing it. This
has really turned into a thing.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
All right, Now we get onto some actual advice.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Actually, oh, let's take a break.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
Oh my gosh, you're so on top of that. Back
a good job.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
All right, we're back.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Now it's time that we were reading advice from our scrubbers,
and now it's time to give our advice.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
That's right, scrubbers.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Anonymous needs career advice. Hi Becatanya, marcro and Easton. I've
been at my current company for just over twelve years,
moving to a few different roles. I've now landed a
position where I love what I do. When the people
I work with and including my boss. The job's also
in the field. I got my degree in the cons
After twelve.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
Years, I feel like I've towd here.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
There isn't much of a ladder in terms of growth opportunities,
and there's very little chance to make much higher of
a salbary despite adding on in my workload. I've asked
for a raise in the past. I know that here
I am just another number, and sometimes I feel undervalued.
A former colleague reached out about an opening at her company.
The job is not anywhere near as exciting as mine,
but the pay could almost double my current salary, and
the benefits are big, including work from home days, four
(13:23):
weeks paid time off to start, incredible for a one
K match, and yearly bonus potential. I am drowning in
student loan debt while also hoping to get my own place.
I know this would help me immensely. I'm interviewing, but
I'm struggling with the right choice. If they make me
an offer, do I give it my current role that
I'm great at, where I love what I do, but
there's no room for growth and I can barely make
(13:44):
ends meet. Or do I step out of my comfort
zone to something unknown that would provide a lot of
opportunities for me, but may not be as exciting I
am in my early thirties. I would love your advice
and love you all and the space that you've created.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
This seems like a no brainer.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
To I was going to say, you know what to do?
You just wanted you.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
You needed the three of us to say tis time.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
When you say no room for growth, that is that's
stop right there, and you've been there for twelve years.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
I im plateaued, Yeah, it's time, girl.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
You're about to step out.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
You're about to get that PTO work from home.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Let me tell you what the double the salary.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
You can maybe find something else that's gonna incite, excite
you creatively that you can now pay for.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Ye know where life begins outside of your Yeah, yeah,
let's go. Yeah, I'm excited. That got me like pumped
for you.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
There's there's no part of me that says you have
anything to think about no h ott og o, that's right.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
You're excited. You love the job, you're good at it.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
There's literally not one percent of me that says you
should say.
Speaker 6 (14:52):
What's the alternative.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
You're gonna just keep making that salary till you're what
you're fifty years old?
Speaker 6 (14:56):
Yeah, No, now's the time.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
I love the easy ones.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Allison, Hi, Beka, Tanya market Nastin First love you All.
I'm a day one scrubber. I've been listening. I've been
re listening to the pop from the beginning in between
new episode drops. You've given me so much hope and
have inspired me to be the modern woman I am today. Second,
I'm in a dating era and want to hear what
y'all think on this topic. I want to save sex
for a relationship and have always liked the idea of
waiting for marriage. But I also know that I may
(15:23):
change my mind once i'm inde a new relationship. Tanya, Becca,
when you were in your dating eras you set expectations
with the people you were dating about physical stuff, can
you talk about when and where you had these convos?
Was it while you were out to dinner? Was it
while you were already making out on the couch before that?
How many dates in What was your approach in terms
of getting the message across that you're still super attracted
(15:43):
to them. I've had conversations like this before that went okay,
But I'd love to hear how y'all went about it.
For reference. I'm almost twenty eight. I'm dating more seriously
now with marriage in mind and not.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
Just for fun.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Well, I talked about it on national television.
Speaker 6 (15:57):
Okay, that's an option.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
So that was one way of going about it.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Yeah, you also put it in your dating profile, you know,
like on Hinge no sex before marriage.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Yeah, no, just gets it out there.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, I mean you could, but I think it's just
if things start. Well, you actually did kind of do
this while you were dating. Yeah, I'll let you touch
on this because I don't really Mine was like The
Bachelor and then Haley and I didn't wait. Yeah, we
were like said, we were in love in two weeks.
So it was quite quick. Everything happened very fast.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
I I was, uh, I mean, is it celibate is
the word?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Yep?
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Didn't have sex for four years because I decided that
I was like in this perpetual pattern of pain where
I was giving my body before I was getting the
commitment that I wanted, and so I made the decision
to not have sex outside of.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
A committed relationship.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
And it's very weird once you make that decision for yourself,
and you're so convicted in that decision, it really doesn't
become a weird thing like for somehow. It always came
up in conversation very early on. I only really remember
with Robbie previously with other guys too, Like I had
had the conversation very early, one date in or two
(17:15):
dates in, and it wasn't like I made it seem
like it was like a weird thing. I was just
I would just say, yeah, you know, I've chosen not
to have sex outside of a committed relationship. I was
hurting myself a lot, and I'm looking for commitment, and
so like it was, it just kind of came out
in conversation. It was never like a thing that I
(17:35):
presented as something weird or off putting. It was just
like a part of who I am and a decision
that I made. And if it deterred some If it
deterred some guys, I wouldn't know because they just dropped off.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
And screw them. I didn't didn't need them anyway, you know.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
So if it deterred some guys, I'm sure, which I'm
sure it did, good riddance for me. But it didn't
deter the one that I'm ending up with Hu and
here we are today.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, I always felt very confident in that decision. So
I think that's another thing. And like you were saying,
you're conviction about it. Like I think, when you have
confidence and a decision you're making for yourself, the conversation
becomes a little more. It happens naturally as you're like
getting to know someone and you're getting to like a
more physical stage because you're able to just be like, hey,
(18:28):
I really like you.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I'm attracted to you.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I don't want this to come across in any way
that that is in.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Involving my attraction towards you.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
But I have been heard a lot from giving myself
prematurely and I don't I'm not doing that anymore. So
if that's a problem for you, I totally understand. But
that's that's where I'm at with that, and just be
like confident in it.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Because but it's funny, you say, because it's when it
is your decision, it comes across so different than if
it's something that you're doing because you think you're supposed
to be doing it or.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
Somebody else wants you to be doing it. Oh, I
think it's what you should be doing.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Different, totally different on both ends, choosing not to and
choosing to do it right. It's like, if you have
the confidence in making that decision for your own self,
that that's the difference.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
It's a great way to separate the uh yeah, the
hook the good ones. Yeah, the hookups from the because
my wife said this to me early on in our
relationship that I'm not looking to do that until until marriage.
And I said, Okay, that's that's fine with me, and
I didn't go anywhere, and that ended up not being
the case. We ended up making that decision together. But
I think it was valuable that you knew that I'm
(19:33):
not in this for that I'm not going anywhere, And
I think that's a good thing.
Speaker 6 (19:37):
You find out who's legit this way.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah, And I remember with Robert, it gave me so
much respect for him because he obviously was not a
virgin and he was so respectful and that decision. I
never felt like pressured or anything. And that's how that's
what I was gonna say. Like, you, when you're with
a good guy and someone who respects you, you orger
if you're with a good guy or girl, you will
(20:01):
feel that respect from someone.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Yeah. I felt the same way with Robbie.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
I never felt like he was like trying to change
my mind or anything.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Yeah, Torri has a question about how to talk to girls.
Speaker 6 (20:14):
Hi, I'm Tory. I'm twenty years old. I've never been
in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I've been out as a lesbian since i was sixteen,
but I've still never kissed a girl. I'm confident in
my sexuality, but I have no idea how to talk
to girls. When I do talk to someone I like,
they often turn out to be straight, which is tough
because I'm more attracted.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
To feminine women.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Anyone who has listened to Haley Kyoko's curious or He'll
never love you know It's how difficult it can be
navigating feelings for more feminine or straight looking and quotes
women you never know if they're gay or just playing
with you. I'm also very shy, which stems from a
physical disability. I have a form of muscular dystrophy, meaning
I can only walk short distances before getting tired, and
I also have breathing issues. I've used a BiPAP machine
(20:53):
at night since I was four. I had scoliosis or
a back brace for eight years, had surgery for it.
At school and longer routings, they use a wheelchair, and
I still sometimes use one now. Although I've lived with
these challenges my whole life, I've always felt a bit
of an outcast, especially in dating. I worry people might
judge me or not take me seriously, even though no
one has ever made me feel that way directly. Because
of these insecurities, I feel like I lack the confidence
(21:14):
to talk to girls, and I don't know how to
start conversations with someone I'm interested in. I worry about
coming off as the weird, awkward, disabled girl or making
anyone uncomfortable. Because I'm attracted to straight looking women. I'm
also a huge people pleaser, which doesn't help. Whenever I
try to talk to a girl I like, I freeze
up or find out they're straight. It's hard and it's
a somewhat discouraging cycle. I love some advice, I would say, Torri.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I would say that sometimes.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Like I never went through this, especially dating women, because
I met Haley and that was very instant, and that's
the only woman I've date, Like, I haven't had to
write myself out there I literally don't know how I
would date, like.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
I know, I think I don't even know how to
answer this question. I would have no idea.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
But I also think it's this it would be the
same as if, like.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Yeah, like dating up, like hitting on a guy and
realizing he's married, right yeah, or in a relationship right,
So it's a little different.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It's a little different, but it's it's basically they're not
available to you, correct emotionally, regardless of what the reason
is for it. So I wouldn't be embarrassed by finding
out that someone's straight. And I think the only way
that you keep finding someone is by putting yourself out there.
So like when you put yourself in a situation to
meet people, that's how you're going to meet someone. And
(22:35):
sometimes it might be easier to talk to someone on
like a dating app where you're getting to know them
and you can especially if you're setting your like settings
to women, yeah too like women instead of that way
you don't have to question if they're into girls.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
So the girls, I feel like she's talking more like
in real life.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, I think in real life, you just shoot your shot,
just like a guy like shoots a shot with a girl.
And she's like if if a guy shoots a shot
with the feminine lesbian, and she's like, I'm not into guys,
it's he's still shot, you know, it's still like a
respectable action to make a move, just like we would
encourage a guy to do with a girl. So I
think you keep putting yourself out there and there's no like,
(23:16):
with the right person, how you flirt isn't going to.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
You can say that again, what that was horrible flirt?
Speaker 3 (23:24):
Well granted you did have people doing it for you
for a little bit, I.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Know, but like in real life, you can't have anybody else. Yeah, yeah,
straight raw dog you.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Yeah, sometimes you just got a raw dog the flirt and.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
The right person the way you flirt, even if it's
not like the cool way or the the way like
how taun your thought, like the cool girl way of
doing it, the right person is going to like the
way that you approach things.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah, And I.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Think that I think if anything, being confident in who
you are with all those things that you listed are
just a part of you.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
They're not they're not who you are as a whole.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And I think if anything, they make you, I'm like, Wow,
she's so strong and amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
That you have gone through life with.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
All these health issues and physical disabilities and still put
yourself out there is so incredible. So, if anything, I
think that is such an attractive quality, and I hope
that you keep putting yourself out there. And like I said,
I think if you're trying to avoid the being disheartened
by someone being straight, go on the dating apps and
make sure you're only looking for woman like want something
(24:32):
to that.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I think that's pretty good advice actually, the dating apps,
so now you both know what's going in. Now you
can just focus on the connection you make or won't make,
but that you don't have to worry about that element
of it.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
It removes it completely.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Yeah, it kind of takes away the not knowing and
then the fear of being rejected simply based on sexual sexuality.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
All right, I think we should take a break because
we have a light one and a heavier one coming up.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
All right, we are back with two more.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
All right, First the light one from page. Hey friends,
your podcast is saving me during the middle of the
wakings of my newborns by keeping me awake and entertained.
Speaker 6 (25:34):
Bravo. Page We salute you and what you've gone through.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I don't know if you're Amanda Stanton or but anyway, Tanya,
in episode thirty, you talk about a guy using a
straw being a deal breaker.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
Because Robbie use a straw, Why was it a deal breaker?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Did you ever watched a guy drink an alcoholic beverage
through a straw?
Speaker 6 (25:57):
He's still a deal breaker, she gets worked out about.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
But only uh wait, but only an alcoholic beverage.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Yes, So, like Robbie drinks the straw out of his
like you know cup that he takes around town Stanley
if you will, sure, that's fine. But if he were
to be slurping down.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
His his vodka soda?
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Yeah, or what's the other one, like the.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Skinny margarita? Anything fashion? An old man?
Speaker 5 (26:23):
If he's slurping that through a straw, he.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Is getting the boot that night mobile, so he's kind
of chasing it with his mouth.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Okay, but does anyone drink an old fashion with a straw?
I've never seen anyone.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
I've never seen anyone drinking with a straw either, But
a vodka sodada with a straw so much better.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
But margarita, because you have the salt.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
You can't have a strop Oh my gosh. Really, only
vodka or tequila soda is okay.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
With the straw.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
But to be honest, if Robbie drink anything from a straw,
I'm sure I'd be like, OK.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Just goes to show you can't do the wrong thing
with the right person.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
That's oh, that's so true.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, all right, Melissa Dear Tanya beca marcron Easton. First off,
I want to stand a huge fan of Day One Scrubber.
I love the episodes and it's just the four of
you laughing together. It's like I'm catching up with my friends.
My now fiance, Brandon and I met November twenty nineteen
and we got engaged in September twenty four. I was
single forever before meeting my fiance, and we always say
there was an invisible string tying us together and that
(27:23):
we met it exactly the right time. We planned a
wedding for September of twenty five. We secured a beautiful
venue just outside of Semecula. Sadly, we just had to
cancel it because we lost our home in Altadena due
to the Eaton fire. We lived with my ninety three
year old Japanese grandfather who had been in his home
for sixty eight years. We are fortunately all safe, even Grandpa,
(27:45):
but we lost everything, my car, all our photos, personal items, documents,
my grandmother's urn who passed away in twenty twenty. It
is devastating not only for us, but for our beautiful
community of Altadena and all those who.
Speaker 6 (27:57):
Were displaced because of the fires.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I'm not necess sssarily looking for this to be public
or gather sympathy, because we are fortunate to have a
great community surrounding us. Tanya, I saw your video of
your bride's maid surprising you, and it reminded me of
my best friends, who, the day after losing our home,
surprised me and my fiance with brand new clothes, comfort snacks,
and replaced some of the things we lost in the fire.
I cried uncontrollably over a puffer jacket they replaced. I
(28:21):
just wanted you all to know there are people who
appreciate what you all do. The morning of the fires,
I was out of town, so I didn't know what
I was coming home to. I listened to the Year
of the Nines that day. I was so excited to
be a twenty twenty five bride and that my date
was in the month of September, the ninth months Tanya.
You recently posted it within All the Wedding Planning US
twenty twenty five brides get to marry our best friend.
(28:44):
It was a great reminder that while my dream wedding
looks different, I still get to spend forever with my
number one teammate. Thank you for all you do and
the support you have given to the victims of this
horrible tragedy.
Speaker 6 (28:54):
The fire may have.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Destroyed my home, but it also ignited my love for
this amazing community of Los.
Speaker 6 (28:59):
Angle, Angelus.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Wishing you a true year of the Nines and an
amazing twenty twenty five.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Full of love. Melissa with a y m hy lsa.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Sad just I mean that just puts everything into perspective.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Something that I like noticed a lot. I feel like
with people that lost their homes is this like crazy
positivity where I feel like I would sulk and I
would be so sad about the things that I lost,
and like I feel like if I put myself in
their shoes, like I don't think I would handle it,
you know. Like she's literally just writing us to like
I don't even know who say thank you, and like
(29:44):
not even ask for anything, and she just lost everything,
and I'm sad that you had to push back your wedding,
like it all just sucks.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Yeah, I think it's such a great like perspective shift
of thinking someone who lost everything and still being able
to find joy and getting to marry her best friend
even though it's not what she expected. And I truly
believe that what your wedding ends up being, Melissa, is
going to mean even more after this.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
And I truly I think.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Reading that my heart like dropped and also was just
like expanded because I was like, what a testament to
the type of person she is and who she's surrounded by,
and like thinking about even just a puffer jacket, and like, how.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Are things are.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Valuable to us? And yet the thing that she mentioned
was people.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
You know, you know what's better than nine year Melissa?
A ten year Wow, the year of the ten. I
don't have on the tip of my fingers what the
ten year means, but I know it's gonna be good.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
It's gonna be really good.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
It's gonna be really really good.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
And there's that feeling that with your partner, you can
get through anything. Yeah, And you're finding that out now unfortunately,
But that's the feeling when you've got that person and
you're going to get married, that no matter what life
throws at us, we've got each other, no matter what.
Speaker 6 (31:19):
And that's so comforting.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
There really is like something I feel like that you
don't understand until like you're in a committed.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
Relationship like that we're in.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Is that level of safety, you know, Like I totally agree,
Like I feel like anything that came our way, like
having Robbie by my side.
Speaker 5 (31:40):
I could get through it.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
M h.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
And it's so powerful. Yeah, And that's really what it's about.
And I'm grateful that you found him, and I'm grateful
that you have each other.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
I'm grateful that you're all okay, yeah, your Grandpa's okay,
and that y'all have each other to rebuild with. And
I'm also so sorry that this happened. It's like there's
no words that adequately can justify the sorrow and devastation
(32:16):
I feel. But I just hope that you feel surrounded
by love.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Yeah, and please keep us posted.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah, please, because I know like now that you know
time has passed, people life moves on and people move on.
But I hope that you know that if you ever
need anything, whether it's posting to us or the scrubbing
In group, like we're here rallying around you.
Speaker 5 (32:40):
Yeah, we're here for you, and we love you.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
We love you, and we love all of you.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Oh yes, we do.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Truly our girls and few guys.
Speaker 5 (32:51):
I'd be shocked if there is any male listeners.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Like I said at our live show I started off,
I think ladies and very few gentlemen.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Yes, the the loyal committed men to our scrubbing in gals.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
I can't I still can't believe that our live show
in LA I was only dating Robbie for like three
months at the time.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
That's when I met him for the verse yeah ago, yeah,
time plus.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Yeah, but also like a girthy one to come to
throw him into the girthiest of the girl.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
If you ever want to write in to a Dear
Bonnie episode, you can message us on Instagram at scrubbing
In pod or you can message us at scrubbing In
at iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
That's right, and we love.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
You so much and we hope you have a great
rest of the week. And we will be back on
Monday to be continued. Love you, bye bye
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Scrub what It's just like the way I watch your
eyes get ready to do a jingle.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I just am like anticipating it.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Scarrub dub dub and the dub ub dub.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
The other night, Haley made me dinner and she made
me your Yep, was it delicious? It was delicious.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
So Robbie's mom made us a bon the other night
and hers is so good. And because I got my
teeth bleached, I can't eat it because it's like red.
Speaker 5 (00:49):
God, it's red.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Like you can't stay anything red for theatable features, anything
colored for five days.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Oh oh for five days.
Speaker 5 (00:58):
Yeah, for five days. You're supposed to just like white.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
And I'm like, you don't realize it as you don't
even know how much color you eat until you're in it.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
Yeah, sitting on the counter, Could you have spaghetti through
a straw?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
No? I just had chicken.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
That was really funny. People loved it.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
By the way, I saw when Haley left that you
made her cute little to go breakfast burrito and wrote
their names on it. And I was like, whoa Becca
is being extra cute these days.
Speaker 6 (01:33):
I yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
They they left like super early, Haley and Marla to
go to New York, and so I was like, oh,
do you want me to make you like a breakfast
burrito so you can just heat it up and ticket
And then I was like, oh, make Marlon wan too,
and so she posted it and Ali wrote me was like,
you're like domesticated.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Huh.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
He's like, yeah, breakfast burrito.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
It's simple. It's really simple. It's scramp soft, scrambled eggs soft.
Haley wanted have varty cheese, and then I did mozzarella
for a vari I don't really know. It's a little sharp,
Like I don't really like it. It's a little strong
for me. And then I put it in the burrito
that and just cheese an egg, yeah, just SGG and cheese,
(02:18):
and then I just like toasted it on the pan.
But they were both like this was the best, Like
Marlasa was life changing. She's like, what did you put
in there? So I guess I make really good So
it's a little bit about me.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
So yeah, if you ever.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Wanted to bring those in for a scrubbing in session,
you know, there'd be no complaints.
Speaker 6 (02:40):
I would be so happy to do that if you
don't mind.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, just egg and cheese. Correct, no protein? Let me,
I guess eggs are protein.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
I'll just take the eggs. Maybe little turkey bacon in mine.
Speaker 6 (02:52):
I could do that.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
Turkey bacon chopped up in there.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, but you have to have it with the tortilla.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Fine, okay, gluten free?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Did they have a gluten free do you like the cassava? Yes?
Speaker 5 (03:11):
They have tons of gluten free ki.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Okay, okay, okay, Yeah, I would love to do that
for you'all. And y'all can let me know how if
they're really good or if they just tasted good, because.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
It sounds like the way you put it on the.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Get a little browned, the fine that a breakfast brito.
Speaker 5 (03:30):
They always put so many tricks.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
And stuff in there, and it's like it doesn't you
know that I would enjoy a little potato in they're that.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
A hash frown or just a thick potato like whatever.
But then they throw in the pico.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
De gao and the green sauce graandmon like multiple cheeses
and like maybe some beans, maybe some rice.
Speaker 5 (03:54):
I'm like, I don't need any of this.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I'm the same.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I don't need any of that.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh really shook right?
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Well, I'll bring you all a simple ah add some additions,
but I'll keep it simple.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Dear Bonnie episode. So let's let's get to the listener.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Well, we've got a lot of response to the boudoir shoot.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Oh oh yeah, we still have to do that.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Like Alyssa, for example, says, listening to Tany talking about
giving Robbie a boudoir shoot as a wedding gifts and
have a few thoughts.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
Do it.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It's something you'll treasure forever and look back on. It
did both my husband. I look back at it often
after a baby. It's such a beautiful reminder of how
amazing women's bodies are.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
We just talked about that on Monday and.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Will forever bring back the emotions you had while doing it.
The modern woman energy is unmatched, and the emotions when
you gave it to Robbie. It's expensive, but spend the money.
Something you don't realize looking into it is the poses
and how it's not natural to pose in lingerie or
even nude. That's where a reputable photographer comes in. I
was hesitant to spend that much on it, but it's
(04:54):
one of the best things I've ever spent money on.
I would argue is the best investment made in our wedding. Whoa, Tanya.
I also ripped out journal entries of when I first
met my husband and put them in there with it.
He's a big swiftie, so I also wrote Taylor's lyrics
to Wildest Dreams in there. Needless to say, I'm a
big advocate for this. Paying someone to give you one
of the best and most fulfilling moments of your life
as a woman and as as soon to be wife,
(05:16):
you will not regret it. I am not rich. I
was literally a professional dog walker and saved up a
long time to do this. Love you guys a day
one scrubber, Alissa, it.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Sounds like you need to call them the professionals. I'm
feeling intimidated by that.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I'm just let me tell you, have you ever tried
this one kidnap position?
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, we'll just take all of Sabrina Carpenter's positions from
Taylor and just slap that on a photo.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Respectfully. Alyssa, I'm not one.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
I do not judge anybody on what they want to
invest their money in.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
If this was what you wanted and you feel strongly
about it, go all out and are all in for me.
I have so much faith in the world in Becatilly
as my photographer. I feel safe in your hands, I
feel gorgeous behind your lens, and there's nothing else I
(06:14):
need more than that. So why would I have a
stranger take a picture of me in a very vulnerable
state when one of my best friends will do it.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Here's what I'm thinking, And I don't.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Want, I don't need.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
I'm gonna like get white lingerie, maybe throw a pearl
necklace on and call it a day.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
Like I'm not like changing into all.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
These hoops and tricks and like crotchous panties and stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, I think we set a date.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I do the photos, and if we're like dying and
like laughing over them, and you still want to do
it a little more like elevated, then.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You do it. But like we do it, we do.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Like grision, right, because then we just go to like CBS,
yeah and print them. You're gonna help me find a
photo album on Etsy?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Uh huh? We need to do that fast though.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Oh really I think so, Etsy, do be taking time.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Do be taking time.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
A lot of people love Etsy, let me tell you
he's great. Had a lot of Etsy recommendations.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Because it's it's fun to shop from people who make
it part on like a grand scale and not have
like amazing talents.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
I know, and I realized I have had one bad
experience with Etsy, so too bad experiences with Etsy. So
it has thrown me off of my Etsy game and
I have not partaken in Etsy since. But I think
I might dip my toe back in.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
I had a bad experience too.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I bought a coffee table but it had termites from Turkey.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
Wow, termites from Turkey.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
But then Etsy, I just like reported because then I
went to I went to like messages a guy and
the page wasn't there anymore.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
So he either blocked me.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I don't know what happened, but uh anyways, Etsy was like,
we're so sorry.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
They refund and me gave me a credit.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Like all those things we bought, like soapholders on Etsy
and my first bathroom they were like the size of
like half of the palm of my They're like miniature.
Speaker 5 (08:08):
They're like.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Your fault because the.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Measurement soap container that doesn't even hold a bar.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
So Kanya, All I'm saying is, I know those measurements
were listed and one someone chose to ignore and just
went based off.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
That was not my fault.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Okay, I'm just saying, you can't blame Etsy for a
user error.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Who is buying a bar of soapholder that can't even
hold a bar.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
From who has mini soap?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Maybe it's for like a doll doll.
Speaker 5 (08:41):
It must have been for a dollhouse. It was crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
So we're gonna do a test shoot for the boudoir shoot.
Like with me, We're not a test shoot, but like
we're gonna I'm gonna put my best foot forward. You're
gonna put your best positions forward, and then we'll just
if we need to bring in how we'll see how
good I am.
Speaker 6 (09:03):
Listen to Julie.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Julie says, I've never emailed in before, but given time
its predicament, I thought it was time. I may or
may not have given my husband the same gift. It's
totally worth it. Such a gift to yourself too. For me,
it was a big confidence building something called treasure best
ship in my life, same as Alyssa, but she says
the professional price was way too much. A twenty five
dollars camera tripod ring light went a long way. It
was so fun to have a modern woman playlist going,
(09:25):
just me and a clicker and the camera tripad posting
however I wanted. Because there were no witnesses, I researched
more high security picture book websites and found MPIs to
be the most recommended. It cost fifty two bucks, delivered
within two weeks, and I've not seen any sexy photo
of me on the internet yet. Have so much fun
with it, having your girls hype you up. It's great,
(09:45):
so she says.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Okay, So I was inundated with DMS about this last week.
Really yeah, And I want to say thank you for
the respect of not putting it in the Facebook group
because I don't want to spoil it for Robbie.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
So everybody went straight to my DMS.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Listen, one name about our scrubbers.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Yes, they love us, love They're gonna they're gonna spoiler.
There are girls girls. Yeah, yeah, I was.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
I appreciated that, but I was inundated with d MS
about people that have done this same boudoir photo shoot
for their husbands.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
It's very popular.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Well, so that was two different pieces of advice. One
was like high end, go for go photographer. The other
one was like, get a tripod on your phone and
we're doing it in between ya because I have some
nice cameras, nice cameras, and I know Angles knows the angles.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
If there's something back at Tilly knows, it's angles.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
And unfortunately no one knows my angles.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
I'm willing to learn.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
That's good. That's all I need is a willingness to learn.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 6 (10:43):
It's a quickie from Courtney.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
She wants to know the name of the pasta, the
gluten free pasta that Tanya mentioned.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
Oh yes, so my apologies. I am locked out of
Facebook for some reason again because I don't even know
why this time. However, I do have the name of
it and.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Stand by. It is called.
Speaker 7 (11:07):
La Okay Sulla de Abruso is the brand? You spell
that r r U s t I c h E
l l A d okay? Oh yeah, the apostrophe a
b r u z z o abruzio and they use corn.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Okay, maybe you could just link it in your story, yes,
in your story.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I think that's an easier way for her for Courtney
to get the box.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
You were fan that that wasn't a riveting segment of
this spelling out.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
But I wanted to put it in the Facebook group,
but I'm locked out of my Facebook.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I asked Robbie.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
I hit babe, can you put this in the Facebook
group so that they can see the thing?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
And he was like, he's a top contributor, he can't
be just lobby and just sorry.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
I don't know if I can because I have a
brand deal right now.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Or have Crystal do it on the scrubbing it. This
has really turned into a thing.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
All right, Now we get onto some actual advice.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Actually, oh, let's take a break.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
Oh my gosh, you're so on top of that. Back
a good job.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
All right, we're back.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Now it's time that we were reading advice from our scrubbers,
and now it's time to give our advice.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
That's right, scrubbers.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Anonymous needs career advice. Hi Becatanya, marcro and Easton. I've
been at my current company for just over twelve years,
moving to a few different roles. I've now landed a
position where I love what I do. When the people
I work with and including my boss. The job's also
in the field. I got my degree in the cons
After twelve.
Speaker 6 (12:58):
Years, I feel like I've towd here.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
There isn't much of a ladder in terms of growth opportunities,
and there's very little chance to make much higher of
a salbary despite adding on in my workload. I've asked
for a raise in the past. I know that here
I am just another number, and sometimes I feel undervalued.
A former colleague reached out about an opening at her company.
The job is not anywhere near as exciting as mine,
but the pay could almost double my current salary, and
the benefits are big, including work from home days, four
(13:23):
weeks paid time off to start, incredible for a one
K match, and yearly bonus potential. I am drowning in
student loan debt while also hoping to get my own place.
I know this would help me immensely. I'm interviewing, but
I'm struggling with the right choice. If they make me
an offer, do I give it my current role that
I'm great at, where I love what I do, but
there's no room for growth and I can barely make
(13:44):
ends meet. Or do I step out of my comfort
zone to something unknown that would provide a lot of
opportunities for me, but may not be as exciting I
am in my early thirties. I would love your advice
and love you all and the space that you've created.
Speaker 5 (13:56):
This seems like a no brainer.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
To I was going to say, you know what to do?
You just wanted you.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
You needed the three of us to say tis time.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
When you say no room for growth, that is that's
stop right there, and you've been there for twelve years.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
I im plateaued, Yeah, it's time, girl.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
You're about to step out.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
You're about to get that PTO work from home.
Speaker 5 (14:23):
Let me tell you what the double the salary.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
You can maybe find something else that's gonna incite, excite
you creatively that you can now pay for.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Ye know where life begins outside of your Yeah, yeah,
let's go. Yeah, I'm excited. That got me like pumped
for you.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
There's there's no part of me that says you have
anything to think about no h ott og o, that's right.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
You're excited. You love the job, you're good at it.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
There's literally not one percent of me that says you
should say.
Speaker 6 (14:52):
What's the alternative.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
You're gonna just keep making that salary till you're what
you're fifty years old?
Speaker 6 (14:56):
Yeah, No, now's the time.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
I love the easy ones.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Allison, Hi, Beka, Tanya market Nastin First love you All.
I'm a day one scrubber. I've been listening. I've been
re listening to the pop from the beginning in between
new episode drops. You've given me so much hope and
have inspired me to be the modern woman I am today. Second,
I'm in a dating era and want to hear what
y'all think on this topic. I want to save sex
for a relationship and have always liked the idea of
waiting for marriage. But I also know that I may
(15:23):
change my mind once i'm inde a new relationship. Tanya, Becca,
when you were in your dating eras you set expectations
with the people you were dating about physical stuff, can
you talk about when and where you had these convos?
Was it while you were out to dinner? Was it
while you were already making out on the couch before that?
How many dates in What was your approach in terms
of getting the message across that you're still super attracted
(15:43):
to them. I've had conversations like this before that went okay,
But I'd love to hear how y'all went about it.
For reference. I'm almost twenty eight. I'm dating more seriously
now with marriage in mind and not.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
Just for fun.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Well, I talked about it on national television.
Speaker 6 (15:57):
Okay, that's an option.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
So that was one way of going about it.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Yeah, you also put it in your dating profile, you know,
like on Hinge no sex before marriage.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Yeah, no, just gets it out there.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah, I mean you could, but I think it's just
if things start. Well, you actually did kind of do
this while you were dating. Yeah, I'll let you touch
on this because I don't really Mine was like The
Bachelor and then Haley and I didn't wait. Yeah, we
were like said, we were in love in two weeks.
So it was quite quick. Everything happened very fast.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
I I was, uh, I mean, is it celibate is
the word?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Yep?
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Didn't have sex for four years because I decided that
I was like in this perpetual pattern of pain where
I was giving my body before I was getting the
commitment that I wanted, and so I made the decision
to not have sex outside of.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
A committed relationship.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
And it's very weird once you make that decision for yourself,
and you're so convicted in that decision, it really doesn't
become a weird thing like for somehow. It always came
up in conversation very early on. I only really remember
with Robbie previously with other guys too, Like I had
had the conversation very early, one date in or two
(17:15):
dates in, and it wasn't like I made it seem
like it was like a weird thing. I was just
I would just say, yeah, you know, I've chosen not
to have sex outside of a committed relationship. I was
hurting myself a lot, and I'm looking for commitment, and
so like it was, it just kind of came out
in conversation. It was never like a thing that I
(17:35):
presented as something weird or off putting. It was just
like a part of who I am and a decision
that I made. And if it deterred some If it
deterred some guys, I wouldn't know because they just dropped off.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
And screw them. I didn't didn't need them anyway, you know.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
So if it deterred some guys, I'm sure, which I'm
sure it did, good riddance for me. But it didn't
deter the one that I'm ending up with Hu and
here we are today.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Yeah, I always felt very confident in that decision. So
I think that's another thing. And like you were saying,
you're conviction about it. Like I think, when you have
confidence and a decision you're making for yourself, the conversation
becomes a little more. It happens naturally as you're like
getting to know someone and you're getting to like a
more physical stage because you're able to just be like, hey,
(18:28):
I really like you.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I'm attracted to you.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
I don't want this to come across in any way
that that is in.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Involving my attraction towards you.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
But I have been heard a lot from giving myself
prematurely and I don't I'm not doing that anymore. So
if that's a problem for you, I totally understand. But
that's that's where I'm at with that, and just be
like confident in it.
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Because but it's funny, you say, because it's when it
is your decision, it comes across so different than if
it's something that you're doing because you think you're supposed
to be doing it or.
Speaker 5 (18:56):
Somebody else wants you to be doing it. Oh, I
think it's what you should be doing.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Different, totally different on both ends, choosing not to and
choosing to do it right. It's like, if you have
the confidence in making that decision for your own self,
that that's the difference.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
Yeah, agreed.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
It's a great way to separate the uh yeah, the
hook the good ones. Yeah, the hookups from the because
my wife said this to me early on in our
relationship that I'm not looking to do that until until marriage.
And I said, Okay, that's that's fine with me, and
I didn't go anywhere, and that ended up not being
the case. We ended up making that decision together. But
I think it was valuable that you knew that I'm
(19:33):
not in this for that I'm not going anywhere, And
I think that's a good thing.
Speaker 6 (19:37):
You find out who's legit this way.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yeah, And I remember with Robert, it gave me so
much respect for him because he obviously was not a
virgin and he was so respectful and that decision. I
never felt like pressured or anything. And that's how that's
what I was gonna say. Like, you, when you're with
a good guy and someone who respects you, you orger
if you're with a good guy or girl, you will
(20:01):
feel that respect from someone.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Yeah. I felt the same way with Robbie.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
I never felt like he was like trying to change
my mind or anything.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Yeah, Torri has a question about how to talk to girls.
Speaker 6 (20:14):
Hi, I'm Tory. I'm twenty years old. I've never been
in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I've been out as a lesbian since i was sixteen,
but I've still never kissed a girl. I'm confident in
my sexuality, but I have no idea how to talk
to girls. When I do talk to someone I like,
they often turn out to be straight, which is tough
because I'm more attracted.
Speaker 6 (20:29):
To feminine women.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Anyone who has listened to Haley Kyoko's curious or He'll
never love you know It's how difficult it can be
navigating feelings for more feminine or straight looking and quotes
women you never know if they're gay or just playing
with you. I'm also very shy, which stems from a
physical disability. I have a form of muscular dystrophy, meaning
I can only walk short distances before getting tired, and
I also have breathing issues. I've used a BiPAP machine
(20:53):
at night since I was four. I had scoliosis or
a back brace for eight years, had surgery for it.
At school and longer routings, they use a wheelchair, and
I still sometimes use one now. Although I've lived with
these challenges my whole life, I've always felt a bit
of an outcast, especially in dating. I worry people might
judge me or not take me seriously, even though no
one has ever made me feel that way directly. Because
of these insecurities, I feel like I lack the confidence
(21:14):
to talk to girls, and I don't know how to
start conversations with someone I'm interested in. I worry about
coming off as the weird, awkward, disabled girl or making
anyone uncomfortable. Because I'm attracted to straight looking women. I'm
also a huge people pleaser, which doesn't help. Whenever I
try to talk to a girl I like, I freeze
up or find out they're straight. It's hard and it's
a somewhat discouraging cycle. I love some advice, I would say, Torri.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
I would say that sometimes.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Like I never went through this, especially dating women, because
I met Haley and that was very instant, and that's
the only woman I've date, Like, I haven't had to
write myself out there I literally don't know how I
would date, like.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
I know, I think I don't even know how to
answer this question. I would have no idea.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
But I also think it's this it would be the
same as if, like.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Yeah, like dating up, like hitting on a guy and
realizing he's married, right yeah, or in a relationship right,
So it's a little different.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It's a little different, but it's it's basically they're not
available to you, correct emotionally, regardless of what the reason
is for it. So I wouldn't be embarrassed by finding
out that someone's straight. And I think the only way
that you keep finding someone is by putting yourself out there.
So like when you put yourself in a situation to
meet people, that's how you're going to meet someone. And
(22:35):
sometimes it might be easier to talk to someone on
like a dating app where you're getting to know them
and you can especially if you're setting your like settings
to women, yeah too like women instead of that way
you don't have to question if they're into girls.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
So the girls, I feel like she's talking more like
in real life.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Yeah, I think in real life, you just shoot your shot,
just like a guy like shoots a shot with a girl.
And she's like if if a guy shoots a shot
with the feminine lesbian, and she's like, I'm not into guys,
it's he's still shot, you know, it's still like a
respectable action to make a move, just like we would
encourage a guy to do with a girl. So I
think you keep putting yourself out there and there's no like,
(23:16):
with the right person, how you flirt isn't going to.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
You can say that again, what that was horrible flirt?
Speaker 3 (23:24):
Well granted you did have people doing it for you
for a little bit, I.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Know, but like in real life, you can't have anybody else. Yeah, yeah,
straight raw dog you.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Yeah, sometimes you just got a raw dog the flirt and.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
The right person the way you flirt, even if it's
not like the cool way or the the way like
how taun your thought, like the cool girl way of
doing it, the right person is going to like the
way that you approach things.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah, And I.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Think that I think if anything, being confident in who
you are with all those things that you listed are
just a part of you.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
They're not they're not who you are as a whole.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And I think if anything, they make you, I'm like, Wow,
she's so strong and amazing.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
That you have gone through life with.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
All these health issues and physical disabilities and still put
yourself out there is so incredible. So, if anything, I
think that is such an attractive quality, and I hope
that you keep putting yourself out there. And like I said,
I think if you're trying to avoid the being disheartened
by someone being straight, go on the dating apps and
make sure you're only looking for woman like want something
(24:32):
to that.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I think that's pretty good advice actually, the dating apps,
so now you both know what's going in. Now you
can just focus on the connection you make or won't make,
but that you don't have to worry about that element
of it.
Speaker 6 (24:43):
It removes it completely.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Yeah, it kind of takes away the not knowing and
then the fear of being rejected simply based on sexual sexuality.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
All right, I think we should take a break because
we have a light one and a heavier one coming up.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
All right, we are back with two more.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
All right, First the light one from page. Hey friends,
your podcast is saving me during the middle of the
wakings of my newborns by keeping me awake and entertained.
Speaker 6 (25:34):
Bravo. Page We salute you and what you've gone through.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I don't know if you're Amanda Stanton or but anyway, Tanya,
in episode thirty, you talk about a guy using a
straw being a deal breaker.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
Because Robbie use a straw, Why was it a deal breaker?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Did you ever watched a guy drink an alcoholic beverage
through a straw?
Speaker 6 (25:57):
He's still a deal breaker, she gets worked out about.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
But only uh wait, but only an alcoholic beverage.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Yes, So, like Robbie drinks the straw out of his
like you know cup that he takes around town Stanley
if you will, sure, that's fine. But if he were
to be slurping down.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
His his vodka soda?
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Yeah, or what's the other one, like the.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Skinny margarita? Anything fashion? An old man?
Speaker 5 (26:23):
If he's slurping that through a straw, he.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Is getting the boot that night mobile, so he's kind
of chasing it with his mouth.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Okay, but does anyone drink an old fashion with a straw?
I've never seen anyone.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
I've never seen anyone drinking with a straw either, But
a vodka sodada with a straw so much better.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
But margarita, because you have the salt.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
You can't have a strop Oh my gosh. Really, only
vodka or tequila soda is okay.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
With the straw.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
But to be honest, if Robbie drink anything from a straw,
I'm sure I'd be like, OK.
Speaker 5 (26:57):
Just goes to show you can't do the wrong thing
with the right person.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
That's oh, that's so true.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, all right, Melissa Dear Tanya beca marcron Easton. First off,
I want to stand a huge fan of Day One Scrubber.
I love the episodes and it's just the four of
you laughing together. It's like I'm catching up with my friends.
My now fiance, Brandon and I met November twenty nineteen
and we got engaged in September twenty four. I was
single forever before meeting my fiance, and we always say
there was an invisible string tying us together and that
(27:23):
we met it exactly the right time. We planned a
wedding for September of twenty five. We secured a beautiful
venue just outside of Semecula. Sadly, we just had to
cancel it because we lost our home in Altadena due
to the Eaton fire. We lived with my ninety three
year old Japanese grandfather who had been in his home
for sixty eight years. We are fortunately all safe, even Grandpa,
(27:45):
but we lost everything, my car, all our photos, personal items, documents,
my grandmother's urn who passed away in twenty twenty. It
is devastating not only for us, but for our beautiful
community of Altadena and all those who.
Speaker 6 (27:57):
Were displaced because of the fires.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I'm not necess sssarily looking for this to be public
or gather sympathy, because we are fortunate to have a
great community surrounding us. Tanya, I saw your video of
your bride's maid surprising you, and it reminded me of
my best friends, who, the day after losing our home,
surprised me and my fiance with brand new clothes, comfort snacks,
and replaced some of the things we lost in the fire.
I cried uncontrollably over a puffer jacket they replaced. I
(28:21):
just wanted you all to know there are people who
appreciate what you all do. The morning of the fires,
I was out of town, so I didn't know what
I was coming home to. I listened to the Year
of the Nines that day. I was so excited to
be a twenty twenty five bride and that my date
was in the month of September, the ninth months Tanya.
You recently posted it within All the Wedding Planning US
twenty twenty five brides get to marry our best friend.
(28:44):
It was a great reminder that while my dream wedding
looks different, I still get to spend forever with my
number one teammate. Thank you for all you do and
the support you have given to the victims of this
horrible tragedy.
Speaker 6 (28:54):
The fire may have.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Destroyed my home, but it also ignited my love for
this amazing community of Los.
Speaker 6 (28:59):
Angle, Angelus.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Wishing you a true year of the Nines and an
amazing twenty twenty five.
Speaker 6 (29:04):
Full of love. Melissa with a y m hy lsa.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Sad just I mean that just puts everything into perspective.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (29:23):
Something that I like noticed a lot. I feel like
with people that lost their homes is this like crazy
positivity where I feel like I would sulk and I
would be so sad about the things that I lost,
and like I feel like if I put myself in
their shoes, like I don't think I would handle it,
you know. Like she's literally just writing us to like
I don't even know who say thank you, and like
(29:44):
not even ask for anything, and she just lost everything,
and I'm sad that you had to push back your wedding,
like it all just sucks.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Yeah, I think it's such a great like perspective shift
of thinking someone who lost everything and still being able
to find joy and getting to marry her best friend
even though it's not what she expected. And I truly
believe that what your wedding ends up being, Melissa, is
going to mean even more after this.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
And I truly I think.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Reading that my heart like dropped and also was just
like expanded because I was like, what a testament to
the type of person she is and who she's surrounded by,
and like thinking about even just a puffer jacket, and like, how.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Are things are.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Valuable to us? And yet the thing that she mentioned
was people.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
You know, you know what's better than nine year Melissa?
A ten year Wow, the year of the ten. I
don't have on the tip of my fingers what the
ten year means, but I know it's gonna be good.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
It's gonna be really good.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
It's gonna be really really good.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
And there's that feeling that with your partner, you can
get through anything. Yeah, And you're finding that out now unfortunately,
But that's the feeling when you've got that person and
you're going to get married, that no matter what life
throws at us, we've got each other, no matter what.
Speaker 6 (31:19):
And that's so comforting.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
There really is like something I feel like that you
don't understand until like you're in a committed.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
Relationship like that we're in.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Is that level of safety, you know, Like I totally agree,
Like I feel like anything that came our way, like
having Robbie by my side.
Speaker 5 (31:40):
I could get through it.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
M h.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
And it's so powerful. Yeah, And that's really what it's about.
And I'm grateful that you found him, and I'm grateful
that you have each other.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
I'm grateful that you're all okay, yeah, your Grandpa's okay,
and that y'all have each other to rebuild with. And
I'm also so sorry that this happened. It's like there's
no words that adequately can justify the sorrow and devastation
(32:16):
I feel. But I just hope that you feel surrounded
by love.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
Yeah, and please keep us posted.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah, please, because I know like now that you know
time has passed, people life moves on and people move on.
But I hope that you know that if you ever
need anything, whether it's posting to us or the scrubbing
In group, like we're here rallying around you.
Speaker 5 (32:40):
Yeah, we're here for you, and we love you.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
We love you, and we love all of you.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Oh yes, we do.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Truly our girls and few guys.
Speaker 5 (32:51):
I'd be shocked if there is any male listeners.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Like I said at our live show I started off,
I think ladies and very few gentlemen.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Yes, the the loyal committed men to our scrubbing in gals.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
I can't I still can't believe that our live show
in LA I was only dating Robbie for like three
months at the time.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
That's when I met him for the verse yeah ago, yeah,
time plus.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Yeah, but also like a girthy one to come to
throw him into the girthiest of the girl.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
If you ever want to write in to a Dear
Bonnie episode, you can message us on Instagram at scrubbing
In pod or you can message us at scrubbing In
at iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
That's right, and we love.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
You so much and we hope you have a great
rest of the week. And we will be back on
Monday to be continued. Love you, bye bye
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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