May 22, 2025 • 34 mins
It’s Dear Banya time! We have some (almost) expert advice for real Scrubbers going through it! What do you do as the single friend in a group full of couples??? How should your married bestie handle a crush on a coworker?? And who would Hayley cast in the Scrubbing In movie??
Plus, we find out what happened when Tanya put a polaroid of herself with another guy in the car! How long before Roby notices??
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio,
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hello Everybody, we are rubbing it so fast.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I just don't love it.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Like why.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You loved it three days ago? You're fine with it.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I was fine with it.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Now I'm back to not loving it. But I can
I can work shop it.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Say start say it again? Like say how you would
say it?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hello everybody?
Speaker 4 (00:41):
We are I gotta sing something why because it's nice?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
We are What if you're like we are scrubbing? Yeah,
there we go.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Okay, Okay, I like where we're heading.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Okay, we are scrubbing in. Okay, it either, but I'll
workshop it.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We have a deer Bonnie episode which we just love.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
We do love.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Getting emails from me also or d ms or you know.
I see a lot of stuff in the Facebook group
where I'm like, should we bring these to the dear BONI.
Sometimes they're about anal sex so.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Sometimes podcast we do we want a technical term?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Do you want to know what I'm doing? Which is
like funny?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So I did this thing with Joe Jonas this week
and I have a polaroid picture with him. They gave
me the polaroid and I put it up on my like.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Car, no dash, like.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Not dash, but it's like like where my little screen
is like, yeah, my car. Yeah, I'm waiting to see
If Robbie notices.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It would be really strange and be doesn't notice that
if he gets into your car and isn't like you can't.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
See navigation, Like it's right in front of everything you
need to see.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
First of all, I don't need navigation. I got it all.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
But yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I know that was pretty funny myself.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I saw a really funny TikTok because his new video
is about like it's a song about falling in love
and by heart, heart by heart, and it's this video
and he's like making out with this girl and stuff,
and people are like, I'm married with kids, And I
felt physically sick sing that Joe Jonas kissed another girl
in this video, and all the comments were like, I'm
so concerned at how it made me feel like I
(02:38):
was actually being cheated.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
I don't my heart actually hurt for him in that video.
At the end, I was like, oh, I didn't watch it. Oh,
I just saw clips from the TikTok oh, my gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Immediately yeah, now.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I watched five seconds of his video.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
I'm sure, yeah, great thing is where it gets you
in the and you're like ooo, but I'm not like
a die hard.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Don't say it.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I'm saying. I'm not like. I don't I'm not like
I like their music, but I don't need to go
watch a video like I used to. Sometimes I watch
like old Britney Spears videos and stuff. But yeah, but
I'll go watch it. I mean, you got he piqued
my interests.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay, good?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Shall we with the dear bonya from anonymous.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I moved to a new city two years ago to
try something different while working remotely, not for a job,
not for a relationship. I became close with my childhood
friend's friend group, and at first it was fun, welcoming,
but over time I realized this group is toxic, drama, gossip.
People get upset over the smallest things. I heard through
the grapevine that one of the friends is mad at
me for not being supportive enough after her minor car accident.
(03:43):
I reached out and offered her help several times. This
kind of thing happens a lot with a lot of
them projecting their emotions and creating tension that doesn't make sense.
I've noticed as my own life is going well, healthy relationship,
I got a promotion, some of them seem resentful or
unhappy with where they're at. Even though I avoid drama,
I still end getting pulled into it, and it's hurtful.
It started to take a toll on my self esteem.
(04:04):
I feel like I'm constantly being judged or told them
not doing enough. It's a friend. I feel trapped because
I still have a year left on a lease with
two of these people. My girlfriend and I have talked
about moving, but we're unsure where. We're not tied down
by work, but we want to be near family. I
know the city isn't right for me anymore, but I
feel lost trying to figure out what is right for me.
I'm twenty seven, I'm stuck. I'm confused. How do I
figure out where to live or where to go? First
(04:28):
of all, there's a lot of really nice freedom in
that you could live. The working room only thing is
interesting to me because you could live. I know, what
an interesting concept. I know.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I often think of that too.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Because I'm stuck here. Even though some of the people
who work for this company during the pandemic moved far away,
which is an odd choice. I think when it's never
it's the company hasn't said this is now a permanent situation.
I think it's a weird move. But in your life.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Situation time, if I may please, we were all under
the impression we were going to be working remotely like forever.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I was not under that impression.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh I was.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Yeah, you thought the pandemic was going to go forever
or yeah, like I thought like whatever, like this was
going on, like it was just going to keep going
and we would just like figure out how to work
not around a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah it was dark.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Dark, Yeah really Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
So that I went and then play sorry to commandeer
this one, But also have a quote that I think
you're going to enjoy for this situation, anonymous. Some people
don't like you because your spirit irritates their demons.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Isn't that a good quote again for the people in
the bad.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Some people don't like you because your spirit irritates their demons.
It sounds like that's happening with a lot of these friends.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah. I think when people when their lives aren't in
a content place or happy place. They literally cannot handle
being around people who are content and thriving, and so
it's like you either are subjecting yourself because these are
your friends and I'm holding quotes up because you just
(06:03):
feel like they're your only option and it feels harder
to go out and meet new people. But it's also
it's energy that's like totally bringing you down. Like if
you surround yourself with people who are always negative and
it's always drama and all they do is talk bad
about people, it's going to affect you. And especially if
you're in a good space. It's like why put yourself
(06:24):
It's like, why take a shower and then put yourself
in the dirt? In the dirt? Why shower and go
sit in the dirt? No clue, there's no reason.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Oh that reminds me. I know, Yeah we can get
back there.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah we'll get back to that. But I think that
you are in a position where it seems like you're
thriving in your personal life, and it's so important to
either have conversations about like, hey, I just be honest
with them, Like if I was always being negative and
I wasn't self aware enough to realize that I was
(06:58):
always being negative. I would hope that someone would be like,
are you okay? Like, I'd hope someone like Tanya would
check me and be like, it's a hard conversation because
you're like, I don't know what you're going through. But
if they were if Tanya was like, Hey, I just
feel like everything's been a little bit negative and downer.
Are you doing okay? It might just bring awareness to
how they're speaking and what they're talking about.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, I agree, but I also think not everybody's like receptive.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
To that type of stuff, do you know what I mean? So, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
It's a risk, But at the same time, what do
you The option is either you have the conversational where
you can maintain a friendship with them, or you just
subtly distant, distance yourself and meet new people that align
with you.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
You can also distance yourself but not cut them off,
do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But if I'm saying, if they're like, hey, why have
you not been hanging out with this? Why have you
been distant? I think it's like, Hey, I've noticed there's
a lot of drama and negativity in this in this group,
and I'm not in a place where I want to
feed into that or invite that in So I've just
I've noticed I've intentionally distanced myself and I love you guys.
It's not like I don't want to have y'all as friends.
(08:03):
It's just hanging out with you causes more angst angst,
yeah than I want.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, nobody wants angst.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
And also maybe you just find someone to sub sublet
your place and find another place to live, a better
roommate situation like Alaska.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I don't know about Alaska. Maybe yeah, but she said
she has a healthy relationship, so I don't know if
that means she they're like bringing reship. But I'm saying, like,
how fun to go maybe move somewhere fresh and stuff together. Yeah,
but we truly wish you the best. I think that's
(08:42):
really hard because you're at that age where it feels like,
how do you meet friends as an adult? Like, that's
the age where you really feel it, I think, and
I mean, I think that's when I met you at
twenty seven.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It is.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It's when life will bring you your best, most cherished friendships.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Well, that really ties nicely into the.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Next one is Jojo and Allie.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I'm at twenty seven.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, twenty six and twenty seven.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
You were given off some pheromones. At twenty six, twenty
se I.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Was giving I need friends.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
It ties in quite nicely with what we're talking about
high scrubbing and team I love you all, but listeners
at the beginning, I feel like y'all are my besties.
I know every one of you is happily paired up now,
but Becca and Tyny, when you were still single, how
did you deal. I'm twenty nine and all of my
friends are engaged or married in the last two years.
I'm the token single friend, and I'm personally content with it.
I only have two good friends left that are single,
(09:31):
and I love them, but I can't do everything with them.
Even my married engaged friends are good about including me,
but more and more I'm feeling left out. I don't
know what's going to happen, but it still stings. For example,
talking about Fourth of July plants, I just found out
a group of my besties, three couples who recently married.
When engaged, they've already booked a cabin for the weekend.
They never even mentioned it to me. Now I totally
get it. I wouldn't even want a seventh wheel for
(09:52):
the weekend, but I was still hurt when I found out.
Now I'm feeling like, what do I do now? How
do I find new single friends at twenty nine? Am
I going to feel left out like this until I
get a partner to bring to these events? Even when
they do invite me to a casual, casual hang at
a bar or something, it becomes a couple's retreat plus me,
and that gets old. Will have any advice, You guys
are the best.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
It's so funny because I even though I'm in a relationship,
so it's different than what she's going through. But there's
been a lot of big events where Haley's been on
like a work trip or not been able to go
to things. And I just love my friends and their
partners so much. I never feel like, well, Tanya, Robbie
and Tanya told me I'm not a third whell, I'm
just a wheel, So they've never made me feel like
(10:34):
it's the third wheel. But I feel like my friends
all have partners that have never even if I don't
have Hayley with me, they've never made me feel like
I'm like ast draggler or like inconvenience to the group.
And I also think I was twenty nine when I
met Hailey, so I think that you're in a season
where maybe it's right around the corner. And also I
(10:56):
think it's totally normal and fine to want to meet
people who are in the same life season as you
meet people who are single and put yourself out there
and go do things that you love to do, because
that's how you meet people with like interest bumblebff scrubbing
in Facebook group.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Yeah, I really think there is nothing wrong with making
new friends as adults that are in the same life
phase as you, because like that, I remember I was
like so sad, like right after college because all my
friends just started getting married, Like all my college friends
just like married babies, like that was that was the path.
And I remember coming back on like a flight, specifically
from a baby shower that I was at from one
of my friends, and I was just like crying hysterically
(11:32):
because I was like so sad to be single and
just like.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I wanted to be in a relationship because I did.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
I felt so left out and that was the only reason,
do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Like everything else is going great, My career was going great.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I was loving my life, but I just felt left
out of like that life cycle. And I made a
lot of great single friends in LA that were all
like my season of life. And I don't know, It's
like kind of it's funny because I'm entering into like
a news wanting to enter into a new season of
like having a baby and starting a family, and like
(12:04):
none of my friends are in that phase of life
right now, right so I feel like I'm gonna have
to make yes soon some mom friends that like are
in that baby toddler phase of life.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Do you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
It's like it's always evolving, Like your life is always
needing to like make new friends, not necessarily get rid
of the old, no, just like.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Have connections with people who are going through the same things.
I told I was thinking about that for Ali, like
she's really in our big friend group. She's the first
one to get pregnant, and so I'm like it's going
to be natural for her to make friends with people
who are able to relate to what she's going through
as a new mom. And same with you. And and
(12:43):
I've said this before that I think all my friends
are going to be in that season wanting to have babies,
and I don't know that I want that, and so
I'm going to have to seek out people who have
the same interest that I have, yeah, to like have
those connections. So I think that's just life and you.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
And a huge shift when I met Robbie and I
had step kids involved in my life because I feel
like I didn't know in the beginning, like are my
friends going to want to hang out when when we
have the step kids, like you know what I mean,
Like do we do I have my friends come over
and do we do barbecues together?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Like I never I didn't really know that balance.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
And now it's just like one big happy family, right
and everybody just comes and it is what it is.
But that was an adjustment for me too, because I
went from like being single to being like in a
relationship with kids involved.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
So that was like very yeah, big jar jarring.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And I also she said she's content, like she's not
even necessarily like, oh my gosh, I need to be
in a relationship. It's more so just like all of
her best friends are in a relationship. And I think
that it's You're in a really nice place of being
content with your life. So I think you just find
people who are also content with where they are in
life and have similar interests. And I also think embrace
(13:57):
being the like taking the one that's like taking care
of Like when I go alone with all my friends,
they all take care of me. They're always like, oh,
ultra making sure I'm okay. I'm like you guys. We're
good here, she's around, she's just working. Should we take
a break.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I think that'd be great.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Okay, here's a teas.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Here's the teas coming up next. Married bestie has a crush.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
WHOA wow, you left us on the edge of our
(14:42):
seat with that teas mark.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
All right, anonymous, love you all, but listening for years.
I have two besties going back to middle school. We're
in our late twenties now. One of the three of
us got married last year. Are married. Bestie drunkenly admitted
on a girl's night that she has feelings for her coworker.
She has a job where they spend many hours. It's
just the two of them, so I can see how
you could get very close. But this was shocking news.
He's also not conventionally attractive. Sorry, so it's not just
(15:08):
that she thinks he's hot. She specifically said feelings. Married
bestie recently bought a house and moved farther away. She
and her husband are trying for a baby this year.
Do we think it's just called feet panic about the
lifestyle changes? We haven't all hung out in person since
she said this? What would you all do to me
and my other bestie? Pretend we never heard this information?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Do we chalk it up to drunk nonsense although she
seemed to be aware of what she was saying. Or
do we confront her about it? I would never tell
her husband, But now I'm in a weird spot of
not knowing what to say to her. I'm not even
sure she remembers telling us, thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
You pretend like you never heard it. You don't know
what she's talking about. You can't What are you gonna do?
Confront her?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I would just be asking questions, how's the coworker situation?
Like if you told me you had a crush on Mark?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Understandable?
Speaker 4 (15:55):
I would go.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I would be like, I can't, how's the crush on Mark?
Speaker 7 (16:00):
Like?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I'd be like, what's going on with that? Because I'm
nosy and want to know, like where your head like
is like, I guess I would be checking in, just
like I would like I want to just all this
sudden ignore. You would never just ignore that if I
told you something really deep about my feelings about anything,
you would never just like act like you never heard.
You'd follow up and ask questions about it.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
So I'd be like, Hey, Becka, how's your crush on Mark?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
You have the crush I'll be on Easton. My crush
will be on Easton.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
So I'll be like, Becca, how's your crush on Easton?
Have you talked talked to Haley about it?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I'd be like, I don't know. I don't know what
to do. We're spending so much time together in the
stew in the studio, but that is weird. I think
the problem with that type of work relationship is when
you're solo time with someone, it puts you in a
compromist position no matter what. And I think that I
(16:54):
don't think that the best friends should or the anonymous
should say anything or obviously don't tell the husband or anyone.
But I definitely think it's normal best friend behavior to
be like, Hey, what's going on with your feelings for
your crush at work?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I've heard relationship experts say that this is perfectly normal,
it happens. In fact, I just brought up the old
Ai Surgeru. It's normal for a married person to have
a crush on a coworker, attraction, infatuation, or natural human experiences.
It's common to be drawn to others. It's just crucial
to distinguish a casual crush and a situation that could
jeopardize a marriage.
Speaker 8 (17:30):
They're usually like a very brief thing.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Too sad. That would make me so sad if I
like knew that.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Well, it's also like you don't You can't control. You
can't control attraction or feelings. You control on how you
act on it.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
And but but but no, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
You mean to tell me. You meet Robbie. You're working
with Robbie and he you're both married, and you're working
side by side alone, and you see those hands in action,
typing on a keyboard.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
You're not married to Yes, Garth, you married Garth. Okay,
so I'm married to Garth. Okay, and I meet Robbie.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
So the thing is my vagina tingles belong to Garth,
My everything belongs to Garth.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
You can control that.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
My heart controls that, and my heart is with Garth.
When Garth has my heart, no vagina is not tingling.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Because you're just not. Your heart is the reason why
you put distance there. That your heart is the reason
why she should go. Hey, I'm spending too much one
on one time. It's like confusing my brain. It's I
don't want it to affect my marriage. So I'm either're
going to remove myself or suggest that we are in
a space where we're working remotely and we're not physically together.
(18:49):
That's what your heart does because your brain does not
know how to differentially my.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Brains with Garth to my heart and my brain are
with you telling us that if you're married to Garth
and you all those hands on.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Robbie, they would just look like normal hands to you. Yes, wow, wow.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Look I'm on the I've only been with what we've
been together now for five and a half years. Okay,
I don't know what it's like to be married for
ten years, for twenty years, for thirty years.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
But all I'm saying is myself, in this very moment,
my head and my heart belonged to Garth, even Robbie
and his hot ass hands come around me.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
They're not doing it.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
You would go to Arth. I wouldn't even know radars off.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
It's with Garth.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Seventy four percent of full time employees and committed relationships
revealed they've been attracted to en office colleague.
Speaker 8 (19:38):
Attracted is different than a crash though, perhaps Yeah?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Well, and also she said she said it's feelings. She said, yeah,
she did say, is.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Like I was, like finding someone attractive. There's crush and
then there's feelings.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I think I'd rather I would rather I would hate
any of it. But if I had to choose, I'd
rather someone just find someone at track, Yes, because then
I could be like, yuh, she's borty y. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Well, it's got to be people Hailey finds attractive.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I mean, she better not.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
All right to move or not to move. I've been
a big fan since COVID after my best friend introduced
me to you guys. Some days, you guys help me
get out of bed in the morning. I feel like
laughing with friends brightens my spirits on hard days. Well,
in twenty six I married my high school's sweetheart. We
broke up for two years, like Tany and Robbie, but
I always knew he was my person. I'm twenty six,
(20:31):
he's twenty five. He's a project manager in construction, which
offered the chance to train to become VP of his
company in Florida. His reaction was, no way. We've built
a life in Missouri with our support system and our
family and our lifelong friends. But I said, maybe considerate.
Becoming a VP of twenty seven is rare and you
deserve it. We're now leaning towards staying, but we're unsure.
(20:51):
Parents are nearby, friend groups, nearby, best friend. I've never
pictured life without them. The idea of leaving makes me emotional.
At the same time, I've always done with all we's
don't was expect that. I've never taken a leap like this,
and part of me wants to prove to myself that
I could. I'm a mental health counselor just finished grad school.
I can get licensed in Florida, which is an issue,
but hey, I could do that. My mind is spinning.
(21:11):
I'd love to hear your thoughts on what to do.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Love you all so much, Missouri, your family, your bff
are not going anywhere. Nope, you can move to Florida.
He can become the VP, which is epic at twenty seven,
and y'all could live there for however long makes sense,
like a year, and if you hate it, you can
always go back. I think this is an opportunity for
(21:35):
y'all to expand and do something like really cool for
his career, and your family can come visit. I don't
know where in Florida. Maybe there's a beach nearby theme park,
perhaps a theme park or beach, some something cool, some
gators or something. But I think that this is the
time where you should do that, like chase those opportunities
(21:57):
and know that those people are going to be there.
Speaker 6 (21:59):
See.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I don't know what you're friend does. See if she
wants to move to Florida, why not.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I just feel like if you don't do this, it's
gonna be something that you're going to always be thinking about,
like what if we did that? And if it sucks,
like Becca said, then just move back. But I feel
like if you don't do it, you're always going to
be questioning what if we had done that.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
I think it only enhances your life to live somewhere
else in America, in the world, whatever it is. You'll
become a better and more rounded person than staying in
the same place forever.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Agree, And every single person who has ever moved anywhere
has felt fear and nerves and what sure and what
you're feeling is totally normal. But what if you don't,
You're always going to wonder.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
The night I got into to Los Angeles from Wisconsin,
I was scared to bet. What have I done? Was
all I kept thinking to myself. It was so scary,
so scary. Yeah, but we've all done it except Tanya
Tiny grew up here, the rest of us somewhere else,
but she went.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
To Arizona for ye, and I grew up in Orange County,
which is like a totally different universe from Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
All we have to say is if not now, when
and if not you, who, and if not there where?
Speaker 6 (23:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Hey, we have two fun questions to wrap up. Wow,
dear Vonya today, that's next.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
All right, we are back with some ending questions.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Stephanie Hi beca Eastern Marcantania alphabetical order. You're a podcast,
especially in the episodes with the four of you, brings
me so much joy each week. And I only complained
is that I wish they were longer a fun game.
My family, friends and I like to play a desert
island movies. These are the top three movies you would
bring to a desert island. By the way, it is
desert island. I always feel like that's a misnomer. They
can't have a desert island. An island is surrounded by water,
(24:01):
Isn't it island?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Deserted deserted island?
Speaker 8 (24:06):
Yet I'm staying with desert. Okay, it can be arid
and dry.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
These are not necessarily the best movies you've ever seen,
but the movies you can watch over and over again.
What would yours be?
Speaker 8 (24:15):
I've got mine ready, so go ahead.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
It's how many three?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Three?
Speaker 9 (24:23):
I always have a hard time remind you remembering what
insurance I have. But this thing I've got ready to go? Baby,
it would be Uh, it would be the first Transformers movie.
It would be Captain America The Winter Soldier Wow.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
And it would be Back to the Future Wow. I
watched those at least like once a month.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Wait was Captain America the sequel?
Speaker 8 (24:43):
That's right, and you liked it better.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Than the first?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Okay, it's rare. I have mine, my gosh. Well, Okay,
he's just not that into you.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Wow, home alone too, because I need something. I would
need something for the holidays time. And my third one
would be I'll just guy in ten days.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Oh that's I'm going. Do you have yours?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Okay, please.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
I don't watch a lot of movies over and over again,
but these are the ones I've gotten the most joy
out of watching over and over again. La La Land,
I love La La Land, and I could watch it
again and again and again. I am so mesmerized by
Emma Stone in that movie. She's brilliant in it. Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I have been wanting to rewatch that lately.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
So I've never even heard.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Of this Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, and it's just glorious.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I think I would have a deeper response because I'm
in a relationship now because I watched it long time ago,
so I think I would have a different reaction to it.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
And there's so much to it. There's so many little
things that you miss unless you watch it again and
again and again. Okay, and now need a comedy and
I'm torn on that. I've always said my favorite movie
of all time is Airplane, the original Airplane movie from
nineteen eighty. You know it's the first parody movie.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
You know what about planes, trains and automobile.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Oh, that's a pretty good one. That might be better. That's
probably the good voice I'll do.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's a little holiday.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Yeah, you're right. It is idea.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
You're gonna want something during the holidays.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Airplane is not age that well, is what I have found.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I don't know about that one. I have never seen it.
It's funny, but I was gonna do huddle those today's.
But I'm gonna let that be yours, because you have
the rental from the Desert the Island Blockbuster. I'm gonna
do Malana. Wow, I love Malanna, my sick comfort man.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
The line where the sky makes.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Okay, I would feel inspired to leave the island. I'm
gonna say the holiday for my holidays.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
You need one. You're gonna need one around November December
t Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Then I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. Bride's aids so funny.
It makes me laugh, even when my real preference would
be to get to pick three seasons of friends.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
But I don't know when I was gonna say in
the City movie because I like, I feel like I
would like to dabble with my gals, But I didn't
love the movie as much as was controversial.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Yeah all right, Riley asks I Beka, Tanya Mark and
Eastern Day eighteen scrubber but one true life? Wow, I too,
like the light had a fun question at the end
of your Bonnie, So here's one. Haley Kyoko, the director
is now casting for the Scrubbing and Uncut movie. Who
would you each cast for yourself and the three others
could be actor, actor, singer, influencer, whoever you want. But
(27:23):
let's be fun and creative so that this movie wins
a golden globe. Look forward every podcast. Love you guys.
I want Jason Bateman to play me.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Good one, Thank you Solid. Netflix might pick it up
with oh.
Speaker 6 (27:38):
Do you know?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Also there is a guy the lead in Conclave. His
voice reminded me of you, Anthony.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Ray Fine? Right? Is Ray Fine? Is he the lead?
Speaker 8 (27:49):
And he's in Conclave? He is the lead?
Speaker 3 (27:52):
I love?
Speaker 5 (27:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Yeah, I have an idea for Becca Madeline Kleinting.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I'm honored. I think she's beautiful but random?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Oh really?
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Also, twenty seven are we care about maybe it's like
the Origin because I cast somebody.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Mark, so.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I already have mine to who you have a guess?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
I do.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I've always wanted her to.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Play me, Jennifer Goodwin.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
No, what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
No, didn't she didn't somebody compare you to her?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Oh but no, that's not the correct answer.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Okay, wait is she in our age range?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Oh, younger, yes, younger yes, Florence.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
No, but I wouldn't be a post Yeah, that would
work any other guesses, guys, it's like so easy. She's
been on the podcast many times. Very memorable guest.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
If you will, Letington just a capsule, Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 8 (28:53):
Yeah, yes, I was just gonna say that, Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, I'm looking at actress.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
She's an actress, Megan Trainer. She can do whatever she wants.
She's a chameleon.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
But Easton, we haven't gotten to Easton.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
I'm saying Adam Brody, he's pretty good.
Speaker 9 (29:18):
She's older than me, significantly older than me, so much
older than Fred Savage.
Speaker 8 (29:24):
Fred Savage like Adam Brody.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
And I was thinking for you, Lady Hudson, a little
older than you, but fine, love, I.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Was thinking Tom Everett Scott for Easton, Tom from that
thing you do?
Speaker 8 (29:38):
Oh yes, uh you also just like decades older than me.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I'm going to do Freddy Prince Junior for Easton.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Wow, that's crazy, that's literally insane.
Speaker 8 (29:54):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I like Adam Brody the bust.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Adam Brodie is pretty strong.
Speaker 8 (29:59):
How about Tom Hanks, Tomminks now for me?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
That would win a Golden Globe?
Speaker 8 (30:03):
Yeah, yes it would.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I don't know. I'm not seeing anyone that I resonate with.
I mean, like I they're all beautiful, but I don't.
Speaker 8 (30:14):
See I was thinking Addison Ray for you me.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yes, well, she's like twenty two, thanks you soon, She's.
Speaker 8 (30:21):
Been in a movie. She knows what she's doing.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah, yeah, we went to she went to the high
school I graduated, brom.
Speaker 8 (30:27):
So really, wow, do they have a statue there of you?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
So do you like thought of me?
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Maybe of her like Addison Ray or Madeline Klein? Better
you have the ultimate say because it's your depiction.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
You know who I'd like. That's just like is like
Olivia Wilde.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Oh oh nice.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
More of my age range. They're both like low twenties
that people all gave me, which I really appreciate.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Actually Green is a suggestion from Google.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Ai Rebecca, Yeah, yeah, okay, what do they said for me?
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Well, let's ask it, scared, I don't even know, but
I don't know if chat epet knows you. Okay, here,
I'll just hear it. We'll do this. This will be
easier and faster with the type someone did did you
put a photo and said, I said, Beca Tilly? What
celebrity does she look like? And it said She's been
compared to many actors, a few different celebrities. Some people
(31:26):
say she looks like Ashley Green, We'll others compare her
to Olivia Munn. Wait, so I've also mentioned selverted with
Jessica Walter. I don't know who that is.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Are we sure we're not talking about Becca Kufrian from
the Did you put Becka from The Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Beca Tilly's that's so crazy. Let's ask chat gipt and
see what they say. Lily ryinhurt, I'm seeing you're familiar
with what Tanya Rad looks like.
Speaker 7 (31:49):
I'm familiar with Tanya Rad as a co host on
the radio show, but I can't provide descriptions of how
someone looks. If you have any other questions or need
assistance with something else, feel.
Speaker 9 (31:59):
Free to ask.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I don't need a description. I'm just wondering if you
can think of any celebrities that she looks like.
Speaker 7 (32:06):
I understand it's common for people to hear comparisons to celebrities.
If you're asking for a general idea, I can help
with that. Let me know if you have any other questions,
or if there's anything else you'd like to do.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Chest This is so worth the gallon celebrity does Tanya
rad look like?
Speaker 7 (32:22):
I don't have the ability to compare people's appear oay wait.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I just did chat GPT what actress would Beckettilly play?
Would play Beckettilly in a movie? And they said, if
Beckettilly from The Bachelor, podcasting and influencer fame were portrayed
in a movie, here are a few actresses who could
play be a good match based on looks, vibes, and personality.
Britt Robertson, I love her. I don't know who that is.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
She was in one of my favorite shows that got
canceled and it should not have gotten canceled.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Okay, Lily James, I think she's in James is great?
Speaker 3 (32:57):
She was real.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
What it says, especially if you're leaning into Becca's more
glamorous influencer side, Sophia can capture that media savvy confidence.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Wow, that's amazing. So random, Robertson's not a bad idea.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
So I asked the same that as Becca has, what
time you're brat and they say, Sophia Carson.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Wait, that is so funny. Okay, well well we'll think
more on that, but that was fun. Riley, thanks for
sitting in that queue. That's all for now, folks, have
a wonderful weekend. We enjoy and be safe. Be safe,
(33:45):
and thank you to those who have served.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
And we'll see you Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yeah, we'll be back Tuesday.
Speaker 8 (33:51):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Continued
Scrubbing In with Beca Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio,
and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hello Everybody, we are rubbing it so fast.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I just don't love it.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Like why.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
You loved it three days ago? You're fine with it.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I was fine with it.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Now I'm back to not loving it. But I can
I can work shop it.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Say start say it again? Like say how you would
say it?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hello everybody?
Speaker 4 (00:41):
We are I gotta sing something why because it's nice?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
We are What if you're like we are scrubbing? Yeah,
there we go.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Okay, Okay, I like where we're heading.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Okay, we are scrubbing in. Okay, it either, but I'll
workshop it.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We have a deer Bonnie episode which we just love.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
We do love.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Getting emails from me also or d ms or you know.
I see a lot of stuff in the Facebook group
where I'm like, should we bring these to the dear BONI.
Sometimes they're about anal sex so.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
Sometimes podcast we do we want a technical term?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Do you want to know what I'm doing? Which is
like funny?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So I did this thing with Joe Jonas this week
and I have a polaroid picture with him. They gave
me the polaroid and I put it up on my like.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Car, no dash, like.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Not dash, but it's like like where my little screen
is like, yeah, my car. Yeah, I'm waiting to see
If Robbie notices.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It would be really strange and be doesn't notice that
if he gets into your car and isn't like you can't.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
See navigation, Like it's right in front of everything you
need to see.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
First of all, I don't need navigation. I got it all.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
But yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
I know that was pretty funny myself.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I saw a really funny TikTok because his new video
is about like it's a song about falling in love
and by heart, heart by heart, and it's this video
and he's like making out with this girl and stuff,
and people are like, I'm married with kids, And I
felt physically sick sing that Joe Jonas kissed another girl
in this video, and all the comments were like, I'm
so concerned at how it made me feel like I
(02:38):
was actually being cheated.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
I don't my heart actually hurt for him in that video.
At the end, I was like, oh, I didn't watch it. Oh,
I just saw clips from the TikTok oh, my gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Immediately yeah, now.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I watched five seconds of his video.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
I'm sure, yeah, great thing is where it gets you
in the and you're like ooo, but I'm not like
a die hard.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Don't say it.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I'm saying. I'm not like. I don't I'm not like
I like their music, but I don't need to go
watch a video like I used to. Sometimes I watch
like old Britney Spears videos and stuff. But yeah, but
I'll go watch it. I mean, you got he piqued
my interests.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay, good?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Shall we with the dear bonya from anonymous.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I moved to a new city two years ago to
try something different while working remotely, not for a job,
not for a relationship. I became close with my childhood
friend's friend group, and at first it was fun, welcoming,
but over time I realized this group is toxic, drama, gossip.
People get upset over the smallest things. I heard through
the grapevine that one of the friends is mad at
me for not being supportive enough after her minor car accident.
(03:43):
I reached out and offered her help several times. This
kind of thing happens a lot with a lot of
them projecting their emotions and creating tension that doesn't make sense.
I've noticed as my own life is going well, healthy relationship,
I got a promotion, some of them seem resentful or
unhappy with where they're at. Even though I avoid drama,
I still end getting pulled into it, and it's hurtful.
It started to take a toll on my self esteem.
(04:04):
I feel like I'm constantly being judged or told them
not doing enough. It's a friend. I feel trapped because
I still have a year left on a lease with
two of these people. My girlfriend and I have talked
about moving, but we're unsure where. We're not tied down
by work, but we want to be near family. I
know the city isn't right for me anymore, but I
feel lost trying to figure out what is right for me.
I'm twenty seven, I'm stuck. I'm confused. How do I
figure out where to live or where to go? First
(04:28):
of all, there's a lot of really nice freedom in
that you could live. The working room only thing is
interesting to me because you could live. I know, what
an interesting concept. I know.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
I often think of that too.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Because I'm stuck here. Even though some of the people
who work for this company during the pandemic moved far away,
which is an odd choice. I think when it's never
it's the company hasn't said this is now a permanent situation.
I think it's a weird move. But in your life.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Situation time, if I may please, we were all under
the impression we were going to be working remotely like forever.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I was not under that impression.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Oh I was.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Yeah, you thought the pandemic was going to go forever
or yeah, like I thought like whatever, like this was
going on, like it was just going to keep going
and we would just like figure out how to work
not around a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah it was dark.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Dark, Yeah really Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
So that I went and then play sorry to commandeer
this one, But also have a quote that I think
you're going to enjoy for this situation, anonymous. Some people
don't like you because your spirit irritates their demons.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Isn't that a good quote again for the people in
the bad.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Some people don't like you because your spirit irritates their demons.
It sounds like that's happening with a lot of these friends.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah. I think when people when their lives aren't in
a content place or happy place. They literally cannot handle
being around people who are content and thriving, and so
it's like you either are subjecting yourself because these are
your friends and I'm holding quotes up because you just
(06:03):
feel like they're your only option and it feels harder
to go out and meet new people. But it's also
it's energy that's like totally bringing you down. Like if
you surround yourself with people who are always negative and
it's always drama and all they do is talk bad
about people, it's going to affect you. And especially if
you're in a good space. It's like why put yourself
(06:24):
It's like, why take a shower and then put yourself
in the dirt? In the dirt? Why shower and go
sit in the dirt? No clue, there's no reason.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Oh that reminds me. I know, Yeah we can get
back there.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah we'll get back to that. But I think that
you are in a position where it seems like you're
thriving in your personal life, and it's so important to
either have conversations about like, hey, I just be honest
with them, Like if I was always being negative and
I wasn't self aware enough to realize that I was
(06:58):
always being negative. I would hope that someone would be like,
are you okay? Like, I'd hope someone like Tanya would
check me and be like, it's a hard conversation because
you're like, I don't know what you're going through. But
if they were if Tanya was like, Hey, I just
feel like everything's been a little bit negative and downer.
Are you doing okay? It might just bring awareness to
how they're speaking and what they're talking about.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, I agree, but I also think not everybody's like receptive.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
To that type of stuff, do you know what I mean? So, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
It's a risk, But at the same time, what do
you The option is either you have the conversational where
you can maintain a friendship with them, or you just
subtly distant, distance yourself and meet new people that align
with you.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
You can also distance yourself but not cut them off,
do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But if I'm saying, if they're like, hey, why have
you not been hanging out with this? Why have you
been distant? I think it's like, Hey, I've noticed there's
a lot of drama and negativity in this in this group,
and I'm not in a place where I want to
feed into that or invite that in So I've just
I've noticed I've intentionally distanced myself and I love you guys.
It's not like I don't want to have y'all as friends.
(08:03):
It's just hanging out with you causes more angst angst,
yeah than I want.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, nobody wants angst.
Speaker 6 (08:11):
And also maybe you just find someone to sub sublet
your place and find another place to live, a better
roommate situation like Alaska.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I don't know about Alaska. Maybe yeah, but she said
she has a healthy relationship, so I don't know if
that means she they're like bringing reship. But I'm saying, like,
how fun to go maybe move somewhere fresh and stuff together. Yeah,
but we truly wish you the best. I think that's
(08:42):
really hard because you're at that age where it feels like,
how do you meet friends as an adult? Like, that's
the age where you really feel it, I think, and
I mean, I think that's when I met you at
twenty seven.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
It is.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It's when life will bring you your best, most cherished friendships.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Well, that really ties nicely into the.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Next one is Jojo and Allie.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I'm at twenty seven.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, twenty six and twenty seven.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
You were given off some pheromones. At twenty six, twenty
se I.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Was giving I need friends.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
It ties in quite nicely with what we're talking about
high scrubbing and team I love you all, but listeners
at the beginning, I feel like y'all are my besties.
I know every one of you is happily paired up now,
but Becca and Tyny, when you were still single, how
did you deal. I'm twenty nine and all of my
friends are engaged or married in the last two years.
I'm the token single friend, and I'm personally content with it.
I only have two good friends left that are single,
(09:31):
and I love them, but I can't do everything with them.
Even my married engaged friends are good about including me,
but more and more I'm feeling left out. I don't
know what's going to happen, but it still stings. For example,
talking about Fourth of July plants, I just found out
a group of my besties, three couples who recently married.
When engaged, they've already booked a cabin for the weekend.
They never even mentioned it to me. Now I totally
get it. I wouldn't even want a seventh wheel for
(09:52):
the weekend, but I was still hurt when I found out.
Now I'm feeling like, what do I do now? How
do I find new single friends at twenty nine? Am
I going to feel left out like this until I
get a partner to bring to these events? Even when
they do invite me to a casual, casual hang at
a bar or something, it becomes a couple's retreat plus me,
and that gets old. Will have any advice, You guys
are the best.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
It's so funny because I even though I'm in a relationship,
so it's different than what she's going through. But there's
been a lot of big events where Haley's been on
like a work trip or not been able to go
to things. And I just love my friends and their
partners so much. I never feel like, well, Tanya, Robbie
and Tanya told me I'm not a third whell, I'm
just a wheel, So they've never made me feel like
(10:34):
it's the third wheel. But I feel like my friends
all have partners that have never even if I don't
have Hayley with me, they've never made me feel like
I'm like ast draggler or like inconvenience to the group.
And I also think I was twenty nine when I
met Hailey, so I think that you're in a season
where maybe it's right around the corner. And also I
(10:56):
think it's totally normal and fine to want to meet
people who are in the same life season as you
meet people who are single and put yourself out there
and go do things that you love to do, because
that's how you meet people with like interest bumblebff scrubbing
in Facebook group.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Yeah, I really think there is nothing wrong with making
new friends as adults that are in the same life
phase as you, because like that, I remember I was
like so sad, like right after college because all my
friends just started getting married, Like all my college friends
just like married babies, like that was that was the path.
And I remember coming back on like a flight, specifically
from a baby shower that I was at from one
of my friends, and I was just like crying hysterically
(11:32):
because I was like so sad to be single and
just like.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I wanted to be in a relationship because I did.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
I felt so left out and that was the only reason,
do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Like everything else is going great, My career was going great.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I was loving my life, but I just felt left
out of like that life cycle. And I made a
lot of great single friends in LA that were all
like my season of life. And I don't know, It's
like kind of it's funny because I'm entering into like
a news wanting to enter into a new season of
like having a baby and starting a family, and like
(12:04):
none of my friends are in that phase of life
right now, right so I feel like I'm gonna have
to make yes soon some mom friends that like are
in that baby toddler phase of life.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Do you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
It's like it's always evolving, Like your life is always
needing to like make new friends, not necessarily get rid
of the old, no, just like.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Have connections with people who are going through the same things.
I told I was thinking about that for Ali, like
she's really in our big friend group. She's the first
one to get pregnant, and so I'm like it's going
to be natural for her to make friends with people
who are able to relate to what she's going through
as a new mom. And same with you. And and
(12:43):
I've said this before that I think all my friends
are going to be in that season wanting to have babies,
and I don't know that I want that, and so
I'm going to have to seek out people who have
the same interest that I have, yeah, to like have
those connections. So I think that's just life and you.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
And a huge shift when I met Robbie and I
had step kids involved in my life because I feel
like I didn't know in the beginning, like are my
friends going to want to hang out when when we
have the step kids, like you know what I mean,
Like do we do I have my friends come over
and do we do barbecues together?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Like I never I didn't really know that balance.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
And now it's just like one big happy family, right
and everybody just comes and it is what it is.
But that was an adjustment for me too, because I
went from like being single to being like in a
relationship with kids involved.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
So that was like very yeah, big jar jarring.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And I also she said she's content, like she's not
even necessarily like, oh my gosh, I need to be
in a relationship. It's more so just like all of
her best friends are in a relationship. And I think
that it's You're in a really nice place of being
content with your life. So I think you just find
people who are also content with where they are in
life and have similar interests. And I also think embrace
(13:57):
being the like taking the one that's like taking care
of Like when I go alone with all my friends,
they all take care of me. They're always like, oh,
ultra making sure I'm okay. I'm like you guys. We're
good here, she's around, she's just working. Should we take
a break.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
I think that'd be great.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Okay, here's a teas.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Here's the teas coming up next. Married bestie has a crush.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
WHOA wow, you left us on the edge of our
(14:42):
seat with that teas mark.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
All right, anonymous, love you all, but listening for years.
I have two besties going back to middle school. We're
in our late twenties now. One of the three of
us got married last year. Are married. Bestie drunkenly admitted
on a girl's night that she has feelings for her coworker.
She has a job where they spend many hours. It's
just the two of them, so I can see how
you could get very close. But this was shocking news.
He's also not conventionally attractive. Sorry, so it's not just
(15:08):
that she thinks he's hot. She specifically said feelings. Married
bestie recently bought a house and moved farther away. She
and her husband are trying for a baby this year.
Do we think it's just called feet panic about the
lifestyle changes? We haven't all hung out in person since
she said this? What would you all do to me
and my other bestie? Pretend we never heard this information?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Do we chalk it up to drunk nonsense although she
seemed to be aware of what she was saying. Or
do we confront her about it? I would never tell
her husband, But now I'm in a weird spot of
not knowing what to say to her. I'm not even
sure she remembers telling us, thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
You pretend like you never heard it. You don't know
what she's talking about. You can't What are you gonna do?
Confront her?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I would just be asking questions, how's the coworker situation?
Like if you told me you had a crush on Mark?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Understandable?
Speaker 4 (15:55):
I would go.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I would be like, I can't, how's the crush on Mark?
Speaker 7 (16:00):
Like?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I'd be like, what's going on with that? Because I'm
nosy and want to know, like where your head like
is like, I guess I would be checking in, just
like I would like I want to just all this
sudden ignore. You would never just ignore that if I
told you something really deep about my feelings about anything,
you would never just like act like you never heard.
You'd follow up and ask questions about it.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
So I'd be like, Hey, Becka, how's your crush on Mark?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
You have the crush I'll be on Easton. My crush
will be on Easton.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
So I'll be like, Becca, how's your crush on Easton?
Have you talked talked to Haley about it?
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
I'd be like, I don't know. I don't know what
to do. We're spending so much time together in the
stew in the studio, but that is weird. I think
the problem with that type of work relationship is when
you're solo time with someone, it puts you in a
compromist position no matter what. And I think that I
(16:54):
don't think that the best friends should or the anonymous
should say anything or obviously don't tell the husband or anyone.
But I definitely think it's normal best friend behavior to
be like, Hey, what's going on with your feelings for
your crush at work?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I've heard relationship experts say that this is perfectly normal,
it happens. In fact, I just brought up the old
Ai Surgeru. It's normal for a married person to have
a crush on a coworker, attraction, infatuation, or natural human experiences.
It's common to be drawn to others. It's just crucial
to distinguish a casual crush and a situation that could
jeopardize a marriage.
Speaker 8 (17:30):
They're usually like a very brief thing.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Too sad. That would make me so sad if I
like knew that.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Well, it's also like you don't You can't control. You
can't control attraction or feelings. You control on how you
act on it.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
And but but but no, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
You mean to tell me. You meet Robbie. You're working
with Robbie and he you're both married, and you're working
side by side alone, and you see those hands in action,
typing on a keyboard.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
You're not married to Yes, Garth, you married Garth. Okay,
so I'm married to Garth. Okay, and I meet Robbie.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
So the thing is my vagina tingles belong to Garth,
My everything belongs to Garth.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
You can control that.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
My heart controls that, and my heart is with Garth.
When Garth has my heart, no vagina is not tingling.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Because you're just not. Your heart is the reason why
you put distance there. That your heart is the reason
why she should go. Hey, I'm spending too much one
on one time. It's like confusing my brain. It's I
don't want it to affect my marriage. So I'm either're
going to remove myself or suggest that we are in
a space where we're working remotely and we're not physically together.
(18:49):
That's what your heart does because your brain does not
know how to differentially my.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Brains with Garth to my heart and my brain are
with you telling us that if you're married to Garth
and you all those hands on.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Robbie, they would just look like normal hands to you. Yes, wow, wow.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Look I'm on the I've only been with what we've
been together now for five and a half years. Okay,
I don't know what it's like to be married for
ten years, for twenty years, for thirty years.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
But all I'm saying is myself, in this very moment,
my head and my heart belonged to Garth, even Robbie
and his hot ass hands come around me.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
They're not doing it.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
You would go to Arth. I wouldn't even know radars off.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
It's with Garth.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Seventy four percent of full time employees and committed relationships
revealed they've been attracted to en office colleague.
Speaker 8 (19:38):
Attracted is different than a crash though, perhaps Yeah?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Well, and also she said she said it's feelings. She said, yeah,
she did say, is.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Like I was, like finding someone attractive. There's crush and
then there's feelings.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I think I'd rather I would rather I would hate
any of it. But if I had to choose, I'd
rather someone just find someone at track, Yes, because then
I could be like, yuh, she's borty y. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Well, it's got to be people Hailey finds attractive.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I mean, she better not.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
All right to move or not to move. I've been
a big fan since COVID after my best friend introduced
me to you guys. Some days, you guys help me
get out of bed in the morning. I feel like
laughing with friends brightens my spirits on hard days. Well,
in twenty six I married my high school's sweetheart. We
broke up for two years, like Tany and Robbie, but
I always knew he was my person. I'm twenty six,
(20:31):
he's twenty five. He's a project manager in construction, which
offered the chance to train to become VP of his
company in Florida. His reaction was, no way. We've built
a life in Missouri with our support system and our
family and our lifelong friends. But I said, maybe considerate.
Becoming a VP of twenty seven is rare and you
deserve it. We're now leaning towards staying, but we're unsure.
(20:51):
Parents are nearby, friend groups, nearby, best friend. I've never
pictured life without them. The idea of leaving makes me emotional.
At the same time, I've always done with all we's
don't was expect that. I've never taken a leap like this,
and part of me wants to prove to myself that
I could. I'm a mental health counselor just finished grad school.
I can get licensed in Florida, which is an issue,
but hey, I could do that. My mind is spinning.
(21:11):
I'd love to hear your thoughts on what to do.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Love you all so much, Missouri, your family, your bff
are not going anywhere. Nope, you can move to Florida.
He can become the VP, which is epic at twenty seven,
and y'all could live there for however long makes sense,
like a year, and if you hate it, you can
always go back. I think this is an opportunity for
(21:35):
y'all to expand and do something like really cool for
his career, and your family can come visit. I don't
know where in Florida. Maybe there's a beach nearby theme park,
perhaps a theme park or beach, some something cool, some
gators or something. But I think that this is the
time where you should do that, like chase those opportunities
(21:57):
and know that those people are going to be there.
Speaker 6 (21:59):
See.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I don't know what you're friend does. See if she
wants to move to Florida, why not.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I just feel like if you don't do this, it's
gonna be something that you're going to always be thinking about,
like what if we did that? And if it sucks,
like Becca said, then just move back. But I feel
like if you don't do it, you're always going to
be questioning what if we had done that.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
I think it only enhances your life to live somewhere
else in America, in the world, whatever it is. You'll
become a better and more rounded person than staying in
the same place forever.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Agree, And every single person who has ever moved anywhere
has felt fear and nerves and what sure and what
you're feeling is totally normal. But what if you don't,
You're always going to wonder.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
The night I got into to Los Angeles from Wisconsin,
I was scared to bet. What have I done? Was
all I kept thinking to myself. It was so scary,
so scary. Yeah, but we've all done it except Tanya
Tiny grew up here, the rest of us somewhere else,
but she went.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
To Arizona for ye, and I grew up in Orange County,
which is like a totally different universe from Los Angeles.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
That's true.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
All we have to say is if not now, when
and if not you, who, and if not there where?
Speaker 6 (23:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Hey, we have two fun questions to wrap up. Wow,
dear Vonya today, that's next.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
All right, we are back with some ending questions.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
Stephanie Hi beca Eastern Marcantania alphabetical order. You're a podcast,
especially in the episodes with the four of you, brings
me so much joy each week. And I only complained
is that I wish they were longer a fun game.
My family, friends and I like to play a desert
island movies. These are the top three movies you would
bring to a desert island. By the way, it is
desert island. I always feel like that's a misnomer. They
can't have a desert island. An island is surrounded by water,
(24:01):
Isn't it island?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Deserted deserted island?
Speaker 8 (24:06):
Yet I'm staying with desert. Okay, it can be arid
and dry.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
These are not necessarily the best movies you've ever seen,
but the movies you can watch over and over again.
What would yours be?
Speaker 8 (24:15):
I've got mine ready, so go ahead.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
It's how many three?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Three?
Speaker 9 (24:23):
I always have a hard time remind you remembering what
insurance I have. But this thing I've got ready to go? Baby,
it would be Uh, it would be the first Transformers movie.
It would be Captain America The Winter Soldier Wow.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
And it would be Back to the Future Wow. I
watched those at least like once a month.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Wait was Captain America the sequel?
Speaker 8 (24:43):
That's right, and you liked it better.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Than the first?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Okay, it's rare. I have mine, my gosh. Well, Okay,
he's just not that into you.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Wow, home alone too, because I need something. I would
need something for the holidays time. And my third one
would be I'll just guy in ten days.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Oh that's I'm going. Do you have yours?
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Okay, please.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
I don't watch a lot of movies over and over again,
but these are the ones I've gotten the most joy
out of watching over and over again. La La Land,
I love La La Land, and I could watch it
again and again and again. I am so mesmerized by
Emma Stone in that movie. She's brilliant in it. Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I have been wanting to rewatch that lately.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
So I've never even heard.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Of this Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, and it's just glorious.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I think I would have a deeper response because I'm
in a relationship now because I watched it long time ago,
so I think I would have a different reaction to it.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
And there's so much to it. There's so many little
things that you miss unless you watch it again and
again and again. Okay, and now need a comedy and
I'm torn on that. I've always said my favorite movie
of all time is Airplane, the original Airplane movie from
nineteen eighty. You know it's the first parody movie.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
You know what about planes, trains and automobile.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Oh, that's a pretty good one. That might be better. That's
probably the good voice I'll do.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's a little holiday.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
Yeah, you're right. It is idea.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
You're gonna want something during the holidays.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Airplane is not age that well, is what I have found.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I don't know about that one. I have never seen it.
It's funny, but I was gonna do huddle those today's.
But I'm gonna let that be yours, because you have
the rental from the Desert the Island Blockbuster. I'm gonna
do Malana. Wow, I love Malanna, my sick comfort man.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
The line where the sky makes.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Okay, I would feel inspired to leave the island. I'm
gonna say the holiday for my holidays.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
You need one. You're gonna need one around November December
t Yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Then I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. Bride's aids so funny.
It makes me laugh, even when my real preference would
be to get to pick three seasons of friends.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
But I don't know when I was gonna say in
the City movie because I like, I feel like I
would like to dabble with my gals, But I didn't
love the movie as much as was controversial.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Yeah all right, Riley asks I Beka, Tanya Mark and
Eastern Day eighteen scrubber but one true life? Wow, I too,
like the light had a fun question at the end
of your Bonnie, So here's one. Haley Kyoko, the director
is now casting for the Scrubbing and Uncut movie. Who
would you each cast for yourself and the three others
could be actor, actor, singer, influencer, whoever you want. But
(27:23):
let's be fun and creative so that this movie wins
a golden globe. Look forward every podcast. Love you guys.
I want Jason Bateman to play me.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Good one, Thank you Solid. Netflix might pick it up
with oh.
Speaker 6 (27:38):
Do you know?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Also there is a guy the lead in Conclave. His
voice reminded me of you, Anthony.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Ray Fine? Right? Is Ray Fine? Is he the lead?
Speaker 8 (27:49):
And he's in Conclave? He is the lead?
Speaker 3 (27:52):
I love?
Speaker 5 (27:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Yeah, I have an idea for Becca Madeline Kleinting.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I'm honored. I think she's beautiful but random?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Oh really?
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Also, twenty seven are we care about maybe it's like
the Origin because I cast somebody.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Mark, so.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I already have mine to who you have a guess?
Speaker 3 (28:18):
I do.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I've always wanted her to.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Play me, Jennifer Goodwin.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
No, what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (28:22):
No, didn't she didn't somebody compare you to her?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Oh but no, that's not the correct answer.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Okay, wait is she in our age range?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
No?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Oh, younger, yes, younger yes, Florence.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
No, but I wouldn't be a post Yeah, that would
work any other guesses, guys, it's like so easy. She's
been on the podcast many times. Very memorable guest.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
If you will, Letington just a capsule, Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 8 (28:53):
Yeah, yes, I was just gonna say that, Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Yeah, I'm looking at actress.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
She's an actress, Megan Trainer. She can do whatever she wants.
She's a chameleon.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
But Easton, we haven't gotten to Easton.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
I'm saying Adam Brody, he's pretty good.
Speaker 9 (29:18):
She's older than me, significantly older than me, so much
older than Fred Savage.
Speaker 8 (29:24):
Fred Savage like Adam Brody.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
And I was thinking for you, Lady Hudson, a little
older than you, but fine, love, I.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Was thinking Tom Everett Scott for Easton, Tom from that
thing you do?
Speaker 8 (29:38):
Oh yes, uh you also just like decades older than me.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I'm going to do Freddy Prince Junior for Easton.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Wow, that's crazy, that's literally insane.
Speaker 8 (29:54):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I like Adam Brody the bust.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Adam Brodie is pretty strong.
Speaker 8 (29:59):
How about Tom Hanks, Tomminks now for me?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
That would win a Golden Globe?
Speaker 8 (30:03):
Yeah, yes it would.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I don't know. I'm not seeing anyone that I resonate with.
I mean, like I they're all beautiful, but I don't.
Speaker 8 (30:14):
See I was thinking Addison Ray for you me.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yes, well, she's like twenty two, thanks you soon, She's.
Speaker 8 (30:21):
Been in a movie. She knows what she's doing.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah, yeah, we went to she went to the high
school I graduated, brom.
Speaker 8 (30:27):
So really, wow, do they have a statue there of you?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
So do you like thought of me?
Speaker 4 (30:31):
Maybe of her like Addison Ray or Madeline Klein? Better
you have the ultimate say because it's your depiction.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
You know who I'd like. That's just like is like
Olivia Wilde.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Oh oh nice.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
More of my age range. They're both like low twenties
that people all gave me, which I really appreciate.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Actually Green is a suggestion from Google.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Ai Rebecca, Yeah, yeah, okay, what do they said for me?
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Well, let's ask it, scared, I don't even know, but
I don't know if chat epet knows you. Okay, here,
I'll just hear it. We'll do this. This will be
easier and faster with the type someone did did you
put a photo and said, I said, Beca Tilly? What
celebrity does she look like? And it said She's been
compared to many actors, a few different celebrities. Some people
(31:26):
say she looks like Ashley Green, We'll others compare her
to Olivia Munn. Wait, so I've also mentioned selverted with
Jessica Walter. I don't know who that is.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Are we sure we're not talking about Becca Kufrian from
the Did you put Becka from The Bachelor.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Beca Tilly's that's so crazy. Let's ask chat gipt and
see what they say. Lily ryinhurt, I'm seeing you're familiar
with what Tanya Rad looks like.
Speaker 7 (31:49):
I'm familiar with Tanya Rad as a co host on
the radio show, but I can't provide descriptions of how
someone looks. If you have any other questions or need
assistance with something else, feel.
Speaker 9 (31:59):
Free to ask.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I don't need a description. I'm just wondering if you
can think of any celebrities that she looks like.
Speaker 7 (32:06):
I understand it's common for people to hear comparisons to celebrities.
If you're asking for a general idea, I can help
with that. Let me know if you have any other questions,
or if there's anything else you'd like to do.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Chest This is so worth the gallon celebrity does Tanya
rad look like?
Speaker 7 (32:22):
I don't have the ability to compare people's appear oay wait.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I just did chat GPT what actress would Beckettilly play?
Would play Beckettilly in a movie? And they said, if
Beckettilly from The Bachelor, podcasting and influencer fame were portrayed
in a movie, here are a few actresses who could
play be a good match based on looks, vibes, and personality.
Britt Robertson, I love her. I don't know who that is.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
She was in one of my favorite shows that got
canceled and it should not have gotten canceled.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Okay, Lily James, I think she's in James is great?
Speaker 3 (32:57):
She was real.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
What it says, especially if you're leaning into Becca's more
glamorous influencer side, Sophia can capture that media savvy confidence.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Wow, that's amazing. So random, Robertson's not a bad idea.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
So I asked the same that as Becca has, what
time you're brat and they say, Sophia Carson.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Wait, that is so funny. Okay, well well we'll think
more on that, but that was fun. Riley, thanks for
sitting in that queue. That's all for now, folks, have
a wonderful weekend. We enjoy and be safe. Be safe,
(33:45):
and thank you to those who have served.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
And we'll see you Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yeah, we'll be back Tuesday.
Speaker 8 (33:51):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Continued
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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