Ep. 26 "Initial Diagnosis"

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, we're ready. All right, let's do it. Yeah, now,
let's do it. Scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and I
Heart Radio Podcast. Um, we are so excited to be here.
We have one of my very favorite people in the studio,

(00:20):
Robin Lively. She brought McDonald's French fries. Well you know
it because we share a love for um Mickey D's.
That's how we knew we were like meant for each other.
I know, I feel like you're one of my soul
mates from just our love for McDonald's. But you, Robbin's
one of those people, like you know, when you need

(00:41):
a good hug, there are certain people that give like
really good hugs. I'm like, I could use a Robin hug,
but I haven't seen you in so long, So I
got a good one today. Well, the guy at the
door almost got a really good A guy was walking
out in front of me and she saw me and
like reacted and he looked at me like what so

(01:02):
he's ready for it. I was like, sorry, guy behind you,
I just can't believe I was When Amy was like,
we should have Robin on, I couldn't believe that we
hadn't thought about this before. What are you thinking. I
don't know. You're everything. We need your everything we need
on this podcast. We need advice from you. Tony and
I are struggling. And just like dating in general and

(01:24):
a happy marriage, you'll like each other, you love each other,
you go to Disneyland together, that's the goal. Yeah, we're
trying to find that. I'm going to help you. Yeah,
we need your help. Um jumping right into it. I
I tweeted about this and I said I was going
to talk about on the next podcast. But I like
go back and forth of deleting the dating apps, Like

(01:46):
I'll be on them and then I get bored, I
delete it, and then I'll get bored and then I'll
redownload it. So I haven't nothing's really come a bit
other than I just delete it and redownload. That's the
most action. But um, I match with the cute guy.
He was a hockey player on Hinge and I'm talking
to him and it was a rainy day. I've been

(02:06):
like organizing my office space and he was like, the
best day ever, my worst nightmare? Are you doing that stuff?
But I thought, I'll make good use of my time today,
and so he asked that this guy was like, what
are you doing today? And I said, well, I'm cleaning
out my office space catching up on Gray's Anatomy, Like
what are you doing? And he said, um, oh, Grey's Anatomy.

(02:27):
I love Grays I've watched a few episodes myself today.
And I was like, that's suspicious, Like, first of all,
for second, you're on a dating app, Like I'm still
confused right now? Oh yeah, yeah, welcome. This is so
not where I'm going to be helpful here. But no, no,

(02:49):
you're on random dating apps. So you're just yeah, so
this is the problem though, So this is I wish
that you guys could see Robina right of those right now. Yeah.
So he says he watched graz and at me and
I'm like, that's kind of strange, Like that's not really normal.
I guess I'll respect to men. No. No, it's like

(03:14):
connected through your Facebook and so it kind of matches
you with people who you might have mutual friends on
Facebook with. So there's a little bit of this guy
did not have matching friends with me, which should have
been read five number one. Um, but anyway, so I
thought it was weird, and so I found the real
hockey player on Instagram, like I typed in his name

(03:36):
and foun him on Instagram. So I messaged him and
I said, are we talking on hand or am I
being catfished? And he was like, you're being catfished. I'm
not on hinge, but I've been talking back and forth
with him. I'm gonna say, like, this is a terrible story,
but like now you met a hockey player and I'm
gonna totally use this. Yeah, he lives in Canada and
like across the country. However, um Tanya, after I told her,

(03:59):
she was like, this is amazing pickup line. This is
an amazing pickup one, Like we should all do this.
Find any like cool guy out Instagram? Like am I
talking to one? Am I being captish little? I'm not
even on bumble? Like hey, by the way, yeah, and
then you started like are you talking? Like can you
give a little back and forth the way you guys?

(04:19):
So he asked where I was from, and I told
him where I live and then told me where he
lives and plays hockey, and then he was like, are
you ever in New York? Oh my god, it's so good.
It was so unintentionally genius, Like I wish I had
just done it with the thought of are you ever

(04:40):
in New York? Why? Because it's like a hop, skip
and a jump from Toronto. It's close to where he lives. Yeah,
do you want to go out next week? Well you
can make a trip. But I mean it hasn't really
gotten to the point where but oh, I want to
come see. Are you interested in? Now? I think he's cute.
I know nothing at else. Let's look at so it's
so good. This is so good. Have you guys talked

(05:02):
about stuff besides the catfishing? No? I mean like it's
been very I'm gonna I'll read you. I'll read you
the d m oh, I love it. Are we talking
on hinge or am I being catfish? He said catfish
with a laughing emoji. Where are you from? I can't
believe people do that? What do people get out of it?
I said, Wow? Just more affirmation to delete all these
dating apps? I said, him from Louisiana, but I live

(05:23):
in Los Angeles? You and he said, I'm from where
he's from and lived there for the summer. I play
hockey and Buffalo. Oh, so that's New York. Yeah, that's
why he was asking about are you ever in Montreal
or New York, I said, I'm in New York every
couple every few months. Are you ever in l A
He said, not until next season, but shoot me a
message when you're in New York. I'm there a lot

(05:45):
during the summer. Oh that's right. Um. Yeah, this is
like in the movies when like people are like, oh,
we accidentally met on catfish or whatever. Oh accidentally met
on accidentally catfish and found my husband. Oh my god.

(06:13):
Yeah you should try this, just like off the you know,
try it without it actually happening. I'm going to make
a list. I'm literally gonna make a list. That's gonna
be my job for the next two days, and then
on our next podcast, I will law out some some
of those I don't know this one on Instagram On Instagram, Yeah,

(06:36):
well I just found the real guy. He's a babe. Um. Okay,
but you have a new technique that you're trying. Yeah,
well mine's not going out as well as Becca's. But um,
do you know what the discover feed is on Instagram? Yeah?
Yes you do. You just don't know what's called to
discover feed because okay, so you go on your Instagram
and there's like a little search, a little searching microscope. Yeah,

(06:59):
click on. So that kind of that's your college, your
discover feed, and that's based off of it's like a
accumulated algorithm, algorithm based of people that you like, double
based on puntos that you like and people that you
follow they pull, um, maybe you know people that you
don't know or follow. So I found this really cute
guy on my discover feed and I just messaged him

(07:22):
and I said, it wasn't we talked it out before, Yeah,
that's spontaneous and we were like, what are you? What
are the pros? What are they calling? Yeah, I mean
I definitely didn't just like do it. I talked about
it a lot before I did it. But I messaged
him and I said, hey, I found you on my
discover feed. Um, I saw that you went because he
went went to the same college as me. So I said, oh,
so I thought you went to you a A as well,
Like I just wanted to say hi, so good right, breezy.

(07:46):
He messaged me right back like, hey, hey, what's up?
And I started talking. Conversation went nowhere, didn't really ask
me much and then he just stopped talking to me.
But did you ask me a question, or did you
leave him with an answer asking where I lived and
I said I live on the West Side with like
an upside down or they have the upside down smiley,

(08:08):
you know, because it's like everyone hates the West Side
because it's so far. Uh and then just silent. You
didn't ask him. Yeah, you didn't give him anything to
respond to. Right, but if a guy wants to talk
to you, he'll start to try and come to cos.
She's right about that, Yeah, thank you. Yeah, but it
also I mean you can't be like he didn't respond.
I mean, he could have initiated a conversation, but he

(08:28):
doesn't know. I mean, this is what I said about
Tim Tebow. I think you'll need to meet in person.
We're trying to set we want talking with Tim Tebow. Yeah, yeah,
I should have gone along with Yeah, he's um, he
was a he's a football player turned baseball player. He's

(08:51):
just like he's just a really great strong crist his
own foundation. He throws a prom every year for people
especial needs. I went to it this year and like
it made me love me more. Gosh, let's do it.
They've been set up through they have they've texted a
few times. He's so cute, right, yes, yeah, yeah, so

(09:14):
that's who we're rooting for. But maybe you can help
us with this how to move things forward. So the
texting is not really going anywhere. We tried some different
things and just falling flat. The way that I got
his number was really awkward and unconventional. You've never met him, No,
we did author the whoa yes, yes, long long long

(09:35):
time ago. Um, we've kind of like met through the
honor with Ryan Seacrest Morning Show. So because I said
he was my celebrity cross the Ryans, why don't we
make this happen? So we had him call in to
talk about the prom and then he kind of was
like asking him like compatibility questions with me. So it's
like all fun and games and fun. First conversation was
super fun, light, and he was like, oh, Tany is
gonna bet the prom. Hopefully you guys can meet you know,

(09:56):
So he was like, yeah, I'd love to meet you, Tanya.
By then the prom comes and his plane got stuck
in like Oklahoma or something, so we've never made it.
So then Ryan's like, no, I need to make something happen.
This is like so he gets him back on the phone,
and then he's like, you know, I really wanted you
to meet Tanya, and we think you guys are making
a really good match. My gosh, poor guys. Yeah, so

(10:18):
it's like I love for you guys exchange pon um
brothers andthing. So that's how I got his bon number.
Oh yeah, that's a little awkward. Yeah, but that's and
Tanya has admitted we we've talked about this. I don't
feel like, even though people think I'm so mean to
Tanya sometimes or harsh with you, right, you have admitted
texting is not your best I am not a good

(10:38):
text I'm much better in real life. So we got
to figure out how to have them meet. You have
to meet because texting is so I just think it's
the downfall of dating, really do. But and if you
haven't met someone and don't know their personality they're texting,
it really does. So she was I guess in town
the other night and she's like, like, why hasn't he
texted me and asked me to go get a dream

(11:00):
or something? And I'm like, he needs to texting not
The problem is is like I don't sell out face. Yeah,
outside down smile. He didn't didn't really set him over
the edge. He was like upside down face west side

(11:20):
and upside down face shout out, well, but how is
a slow burn? You know with the tim tebow? But wait,
you haven't you told me you have you're going to
try a new technique, like at the grocery store. Oh no,
so i'd actually did this. It didn't work out because Okay,
So I was at the grocery store a couple of
days ago and I saw this guy pull up and

(11:41):
he was really cute. I saw him like in the uh,
you know, in the parking lot. So then I go in,
I'm grocery shopping. I look kind of like gross. I
just got to the gym, and um, I see him again.
He walks past me and he smells like heaven, and
I was like, this is my way in. So I
like turnt around really fast, and I was like, oh,

(12:02):
what's can ask you what your colonne you're wearing? I
really I need to get some from my brother And
he was on the phone, and that's what I didn't know.
He was on the phone. So he turned and he
was like mocky y or yeah, oh it's so good. Yeah,
and then he kind of kept walking, so it is
so it didn't really work out so well. I didn't

(12:23):
really strike up a conversation, but I stored it in
the back of my head and I was like, this
is a good opening line when I need someone in
the grocery store. Eastern I was gonna say, but I
feel like we need to ask a guy. Is this
Is that a good move? Yeah? I think that's a
great move. Yeah, because you people like to smell, like
I love when people tell me I smell good. Yeah, Okay,
that's something I've always kind of wanted to know because
I love I love smells, and every now and again

(12:44):
someone will smell really nice and I feel like saying, well,
you smell really nice. I can't figure out that's a
creepy thing or not. I'm not creeped out at all.
I feel like that fear that was legitimate with all
the stuff going on in Hollywood. And so know what,
if anyone says it complimentary thing, it's like, am I
being creepy or all right? I love It's like, because
you can ever just smell nice? Yeah, Like I shower

(13:09):
and I up over my head. I let it down
on me, so it's not too overpowering to have to
walk into it. Sometimes you go over your head then
you then you walk into it. Yeah, straight on me.
Is that too strong? A little too strong? Yeah? Maybe
front or you spray when wrist and then rub them

(13:31):
together and hit your neck. That's another way. I was
thought you should sew people at the grocery store and
tell them how to apply their colonnas, Like, maybe try
walking through this next time. It's a little strong. Well there.
I want to talk about ideas of approaching strangers because
I do think it's funny of things that I would
do versus things that I would not. Well, yeah, I

(13:53):
think people get like, um, I think we were talking
about this the other day with like Lauren n Ashley.
It's like you see cute guys like just in real life,
and everybody gets to like paralyzed. I don't know what
to do. But it's like you can strike up a
conversation without being super forward, you know, like you can
do some of these things. Yeah. Well, if they have
a dog, that makes it very easy walk up unless

(14:14):
you don't like dogs, and that's not easy. It's right
run you couple with their shoes. Um. Yeah, but shoes
is a little bit, you know, might leave them. I
don't know. You're like, oh nice, Oh yeah, what you're
talking Robin? How did you meet bart? Can we can

(14:35):
I talk about Barton? Who one of more so Bart
Johnson is Robin's husband, which we're going to get to
this late later. We just give like really, we give
a good guys rounds up a plaus here like y'all
are one of my favorite couples together. But he is
um coach Bolton from high school musical and every time

(14:56):
you'all go somewhere and gets stopped and he like video
or y'all video. Yes, it is the funniest thing ever
because people go crazy crazy are like obssessed sessed branchise
is it called franchise? Yeah? Okay, um, but how did
you when did you all me? How did you all met?
What was it's? Yeah? What was your opening line? It's

(15:20):
way too long with the story, but it's such a
good one. I don't have we don't have the time
to tell us, so I'll try to give like the
short version of it because it's such a great story. Um.
He so he ended up doing a movie with my dad.
I don't know twenties something years ago. It was his
first film, was an actor, and my dad's like this
veteran actor. Um, my dad was playing like the sergeant

(15:43):
cop and my husband was playing the rookie cop in
Me Familiar. And he went home to my My dad
went home to my mom and he said, well, I
just met my future son in law. Now, at the time,
I was in a relationship, like I would. I was
always seemed like I was always in a relationship. I
wasn't like a serial data I would if I when

(16:05):
I worked on projects, I would meet cute actors and
I would always send up falling for my co stars.
Like it was just inevitable. That was just because who
else am I going to meet? You know, you know,
it's it's you do and they're handsome and they're charming
in there, and I'm with them all the time. And
I ended up in relationships a lot with my co stars. Anyway, Yeah,

(16:28):
that's a whole other world that we should get into
acting love stories. Oh my gosh. It was just I
couldn't help it. Anyway. So, um, I my dad never
said anything to me about this. Um, but so he said, oh,
I have a daughter, I want you to meet, um
this Bart. But anyway, I guess what Bart so so

(16:48):
Bart told me that some time had passed and I
walked into my dad had an acting studio at the
time as well. He take acting classes, and he said, oh,
you know, come, you know once you to come and
teach some of the classes and help me out. And
I walked in to do something and he saw me
and he said, that's the girl I'm going to marry.

(17:09):
And he told his best friend true story. Um. And
this went on for years. I guess he felt this
way about me and I didn't know anything about it. Um.
And he was kind of just like a part of
our family for years because he helped my dad with
acting classes. He became really close with my family and
my little sister, and he would bribe her at Basking

(17:30):
Robbins to find out like the scoop with whoever I
was dating, you know, and he would like get dressed
up whenever I was around, and wake would be like
new shoes. Bart like bust him all the time because
she would know, you know, what he was doing. But anyway,
how are you so oblivious to this this whole time?
Because did you think, like, were you interested in him
at all. Did you think of him as like just

(17:52):
a part of your family. Yeah, part of my family.
He was just like Bart, he was just you know,
nice guy. I don't know. I just I was working
a lot, and I was in a relationship or whatever
I was doing. I just wasn't paying any attention to
him at all. Um. And so this goes on for years,
I guess, but listen, he had relationships. It wasn't like yeah,

(18:16):
yeah and so um. Anyway, some years passed and then
he kind of plants the seed one night and tells
me he thinks we're right for each other. And I
was like, what is he talking about? This is insane, right,
I was like it wasn't expecting it. I go off
to do a show in Georgia and called Savannah and

(18:38):
he and they're replacing the guys playing such a long story, no,
I love it. So he's replacing the guy that's playing
opposite me, and the auditions for the part and he
goes like all the way to the end tests for
and he's like, Oh, this is how it's going to happen.
We're gonna end up together. You know. It was because
I always fall from my co stars and I was
single at the time, and he doesn't get it. So

(19:00):
some time passes and he's trying to plan this get
together at his family's place, um in Utah, and UM
they're like, oh yeah, I don't think Robin can come
because she's going to be with her boyfriend. And he's
like her boyfriend was she dating her co star on
the show that he didn't get It's like, oh my gosh,
he stole my part and he stole my girl. It

(19:23):
was so bad. So I ended up dating the guy
because that's that was That was nice, so what I did,
But it ended up really working out to his benefit
because the guy just such a bad situation. And it
made me realize the next year that I dated this guy,
it was such a nightmare. Um. It just made me

(19:47):
realize really what I deserved and what I didn't want
in my life. And I remember then the following year,
us all being together with bart and his family. We
planned it the next year, and I'm going through this
checklist of the things that I wanted in my life,
the things I deserved, and the things I didn't want
in the way I was being treated and how wrong
it was. And I was like, I don't deserve this.

(20:09):
I don't deserve being treated this way, and why am
I putting up with this? And how have allowed how
have I allowed myself to be treated this way? And
why am I dating someone like this treating me this way?
And I'm starting to think about all of the things
that are important to me in my life and for
my future and all the things that I want. And
then suddenly I look and I'm like, oh my gosh,

(20:31):
it's him and he's like right in front of my face.
It was so crazy the way it happened, and he
had planned that seed years before, and then there he
was and his family and him, and I was like
and then he was so cute, Like he wasn't that
cute before as cute, he was always cute, but he

(20:53):
was really cute then, you know. But it was just
like this magic moment where I was like, ah, you're there.
Here was and it was just amazing. And then I
started flirting with him and he had no idea what
to do with himself. He was like, I've been plased, yeah,
And so after that it was just like that was it,
Like he was it. He was it, and I was
supposed to go back to Georgia to meet the guy

(21:15):
that I was dating, like early before we started shooting,
and I just blew him off. I was like, what
was the time, So when you guys started dating until
you got married, Like, how long was that? Fair? Was
like a year and a half. That gives me a
lot of hope because maybe I've already met the guy
and it just takes time. Tom telling you, it really

(21:36):
was like I saw him with new eyes, like and
he was so cute. I never had looked at him
like that before. It's such a Rows and Rachel story.
It's very Rows and Rachel. Yeah, yeah, or like, well
he like pine for like he always did it. He
dressed up and then she left another guy and then
all of a sudden, just like oh, it's you. It's you.

(22:00):
I didn't even see you before, and now I see you.
Because I just wasn't in the right place that this
was and it was actually worked out great that I
was dating this. I was treating me so awful because
that I realized really what what I deserved, what I wanted.
I just had to kind of go through that, I guess, um,
But yeah, I love that. So how old were you

(22:22):
when you had that epiphany that bart Okay, we're a
little bit past that. It's okay, don't be disaccard. You
played in this scene. Happened. She's shuffling through, moving on

(22:45):
to something a little more smiley. Yeah, smiley, let's talk
about smiley thing. You were you prepared for that long story?
I don't know how to give the short bird. So
I think it's like, I think that you learned something
new from every you know what I mean. Like you're
in a successful like happy relation and ship. That's cool
to like hear people's stories and our listeners like to
hear how people meant. I'll tell you our marriage is

(23:07):
so great, and we've been married for eighteen years, and
it's not without we haven't certainly have had our challenges,
and you have to go through those things, like honestly,
but because we've stuck it out. I mean, there were
definitely times where you know, listen, we've been through it,
but because we didn't say, oh, forget it, like there's

(23:27):
something better or and we we we've stuck through it.
Oh my gosh, I can't imagine, you know, having said
forget this, like this isn't what I wanted. Because now
we've gone through so many things and now it's like
I just have such a I still have such a
crush on him, you know, like we've gone through so much.
It's true. But also because and I will tell you this,

(23:50):
you you need to look for someone who has a
great family because that is so key, because that really
makes up who the person is. That's who their family is.
And he's got the most extraordinary family, the most. I
feel like you both do. I do have both have
like strong close family. Yeah. It's like, look at who

(24:13):
their friends are, their family is, and you're going to
know a lot about who they are. Yeah, for sure.
Well that gives me a lot of hope. I feel
bad about this. I needed that. I needed that story
me too. You never know, you know, took her a
couple of years to come around, yeah, timund Yeah, but

(24:37):
he will. Yeah, well maybe you should just meet him first, Yeah,
because you might not what if you know and they're like, oh, yeah,
you never know. I liked it better, but I had
in my head. Um, let's talk about quip. Have you
ever heard a quip toothbrush? It's an electric toothbrush. Nod, Like,

(24:59):
I mean, I just her feet, I don't yeh Um, well,
quip is an electric toothbrush, and it is it has
like a it's a vibrating toothbrush, so it gives you
a very thorough clean whilst brushing your teeth whilst that's

(25:20):
my word I've been trying to incorporate and then like
vibrates when you're supposed to change sections. Oh yeah, so
like times it out for you. I mean they have
just like yeah they do, but are they this good looking?
They look like apple designed to them. It's so it's
so pretty. I'm proud to take my toothbrush out. Like
you have to brush your teeth in public a lot
because all the time, like brushing my teeth in my braces,

(25:45):
it's really hot. You'd be proud to pull out the
clip for sure. Um. I think my biggest problem before
I got quipped was not brushing my teeth long enough.
Like I didn't realize how much longer I was supposed
to be brushing. And tell Robin about how they send
you a new uh oh yeah, how often do you
change out your brushhead? Oh, be honest, be honest. I

(26:09):
thought it was like every six months. Yeah, because every
three months, um and Equip send you they have a
subscription plan and they'll send you new brusheads every three
months for just five dollars, and it includes free shipping
to go out and buy it. Yeah, I wish I
can pull it up for you. You can pull it up,
but why why don't I pull it up and you

(26:29):
tell them what they need to do to get it?
Um to get a clip? True, I don't go six months.
I'm just saying I thought it was six months, but
I do. I probably do six months. I mean honestly,
before they start, I don't even know. It's probably gross,
Like it makes me feel gross, and I feel like
we last week we did like a friend test, like

(26:51):
how well we know each other, and it was like,
what's your favorite what Speccy's favorite feature about herself? And
I said my teeth And apparently I haven't even been
taking as good care of them as I need to.
Oh yeah, try to do that. Yeah yeah, it wouldn't

(27:11):
be embarrassed. Comes in all sorts of colors too. Yeah. Nice.
Basically it's the Tesla of toothbrush. It really is. Dang
um So clip starts at just twenty five dollars if
you go to get quip dot com slashed. Becca right now,
you'll get your first refill pack free with equip Electric toothbrush. Um,

(27:34):
Robin's looking at photos all right now she's really annoying. Um,
that's your first refill pack free at get quip dot com.
Slash Becca. That's spelled g E T q U I
P dot com slash Becca. All right, harmonized. Yeah, it's
a thing. I go up, she goes down. Yeah. I

(27:55):
guess we had switched it and we were both going up.
And one of our listeners is like, you used to
harmon eyes and now you all are doing the same.
I know. They really keep us in check. Um, we
need to do a three part harmony if I yeah,
next one, so you go high ye be ready to

(28:15):
go Becca or something like that. Great, Yeah, let's do
that when we do wink okay, yeah, well we have
two more lass we have link and we have bark
box though should we do yeah? Okay, okay, So let
me preface with this. We have the best listeners ever

(28:35):
in the world. We have a Facebook group and we talked,
we've we just had it for the past couple of weeks.
But it is the like if I'm having a bad day,
I'll go on the Facebook group because everyone talks to
each other and they're from all over the country to
different countries, and they are like, anyone from here, or
I'm struggling with this, what do you think? And people respond,
It's like they respond to each other. It's so everything.

(28:58):
But they also send us else and ask for our guidance,
which when it comes to dating stuff, it's actually hilarious.
But we try to do our best. I feel like
we give good advice even though we're single. Yeah, because
like we've been through it maybe, yeah, And you know
from the outside it's easy from the outside, So now
you're going to help, okay, and you're going to give

(29:19):
a different perspective. So Mark's not here today. We miss him.
But since Mark's not here, with your permission, I'd like
to step in and be the email reader. I've been
practicing for this question. First. Well, I mean, there's so
many good ones. There's there's one about the last name.

(29:41):
So I feel very bad for this person because this
is a real, real tough situation. This is This is
from Kelsey. She says, I'm in love with my boyfriend
and I know he's the one. The only thing I
don't love is his last name. I've talked to him
about it without trying to offend him, which he understands.
But he's traditional and he knows he wants to keep it.
His hope is that I'll change mind, and he understands
if I want to do you understand if I want

(30:03):
to keep it. I love the idea of taking someone's
last name. I just struggle so much with this. He
has told me before that he was made fun of
for his last name several times in school, and he
was younger. Cashiers and waitresses also comment on it when
they see his name on his credit card. I hate
just sounds so harsh about someone I love everything about.
But it's just how I feel. What do you think.
Is it possible I'll get over get over it if
I take his name? Or should I stick with my own?

(30:24):
I love listening to your podcast, Lots of Love and
Luck in the Dating world from Kelsey YEA A good job.
We get to know the last name. I'm so I'll
show it to you, but I can't say. I can't
say it, okay, I mean, in my opinion, it's not
that bad. There's a lot worse last name. I take it.

(30:47):
If you found a good guy take the last name
and wear with pride. Girl. That is my advice. Robin
seems to think, No, okay, here's the other thing we have. Um.
I just recently heard a story about someone who just
reas only got married and she's going through the process
of changing the last name. And it's been a nightmare,
just the process of trying to change the last name,
one identification, passport, all that, and so now she wanted

(31:11):
to just be like, I forget it, I don't even care,
I'm not going to change it. But now she's too
far in to back out, so she has to go
through with it. So not only is it like so
much work to do it, but if you really don't
like it or feel embarrassed by it, it's like, this
is such a tough one. I have to say, are

(31:32):
you legal? Because I know on your show, because yeah, yeah,
I would really have to think about this because oh gosh,
well my last name. What we're asking I was going
to ask, I know you're Robin Lively, but are you
legally yeah Johnson. But what I did was I kind
of moved my my last name to my middle name

(31:54):
because I'm still Lively. That's my main name and my
professional name. Yeah, so it just keeps it simple, simplifies everything.
But because I have kids and we're a family, I
want us to be one unit, you know, So I
don't want them to be like, oh, you're Lively and
we'd Johnson. That's weird. So I get it. This is

(32:15):
really Oh this is a tough one. So on, but
on all your legal documents and your kids, you're it's Johnson,
but professionally it's Lively. But Lively is still on my
legal documents, so it is there is So I you know,
I didn't totally lose my name. My whole identity is

(32:36):
you know, growing up with Lively. So that is kind
of hard, you know. I understand that because this is
who you are. So I did kind of just slid
it into the middle name. That's what I'm doing, and
I too, because I love my last name. I love
it too. I think it's cute and I feel like
it can like stand on its own as a middle
name if or you know, maiden name. But I I

(33:00):
see the struggle. I see it too because I'm traditional
and I'm the same way like I want to take
my be so proud to take my husband. But this
is a tough last name. The one thing I kind
of like about this is that it doesn't sound like
he's pressing her either way. That would cause more problems.
That he's leaving it up to her, and because he

(33:21):
kind of understands his last name is somewhat problematic, but
he's probably been so insecure about his last name his
whole life, Like how amazing is that if she's like,
don't you know what, I love you so much, Like
I will take that last name and I will wrap
it with pride and we will make a blank family

(33:41):
full of this last name, like he's that's probably going
to make him feel so good. He's never probably felt
that way ever about his last name. The thing that
I'm thinking of is like the kids, and then the
kids are going to have to grow up with the name.
And then what was it like for him growing up
with the name? Was? He said it was awful, That's
where I'm saying. And then then then the kids are

(34:02):
going to have to go through that. That's embarrassing, I know,
But then the kids don't have a weird last name,
and they're gonna have a weird ZiT on. There Fore
that they're going to get made fun of you know
what I mean, Like they're gonna get made fun of
for something. I don't know if I mean, what would you?
I mean, what's what's the solution here? Though? You know,
like he's not going to change his last name. Maybe

(34:22):
he takes hers. He would never do that, don't we
talking about? Like he would never do that. He would
he would never do that. But yeah, I don't know.
Maybe she maybe she just uses like maybe I'm I'm

(34:43):
now I'm less concerned about her having the last name.
It's like the future kids, That's what That's what I
was thinking. That's what I'm saying. She could have her
maiden name and use that for professional you know, like
she could use her main name for professional reasons and
have that on legal stuff. But her kids, that's what
I'm saying, that's going to be their maiden name. I

(35:05):
don't know what the solution is here. This is this
is a sticky situation. I love what you're saying. It
sounds great, Like I grew up with the last name
though my last name is Roddy say Beach. It's like
a tongue twister, but is different. Yeah, and it was
still hard. Everybody would butcher at the first day school.
I was always the one they would get the paper
and they go and they butcher it and everybody would laugh.

(35:28):
So it's like, I totally know what it's like to like,
you know, this is a little different. My wife's maiden
name is Drinker, and uh so you know it sounds
like Drinker and her actually her email was when she
was at UC Santa Cruz was a drinker at US
was the first name is Allison, and there wasn't enough
characters to have that extra T, so that was problem.

(35:50):
So she was thrilled to get and get rid of
the last name. I think, you know, if I have
to render a verdict here, I say, I say, take
the name, take the name. Ohone it and when you
raise your children, kind of make it like you're gonna
you might have some problems with this name, but no,
that that's not who you are. You're proud Schwarzenegger in

(36:11):
this case. Uh, but it's something kind of builds character.
I don't think there's a lot worse last names than
this one. Okay, you know what. Yeah, after hearing that,
I agree. I think it's like you raise your kids
saying like this is who you are, We're proud. We're
a strong family of these people. If anyone has a

(36:33):
problem with it, yeah, I mean, I really don't think
there's any way around this because it's going to create
a divide when you don't want your kids to have
a lot like a separate last name. I don't know
because she would be the only one without the name
because the kids are going to have his last name
because it's the way it is. What are they gonna do?
Take her last name? That's that's not gonna happen, right,

(36:57):
take it? Take it, Kelseie, that's the verdict. Take it? Yeah?
Oh can we do Aaron's email? Yes. Robin, by the way,
is not a fan. I think, don't take the last name.
At least he's a great guy, because really that's all

(37:17):
that matters. And he's with whatever. He's not cool with it.
A Rose by any of her name, he's at least
acting like he would not be cool with it if
she did. So. This is Aaron who is in love
with their physical therapist. If you're looking for the heading there,
Uh so, she says Becca Tania Mark in Easton. I

(37:37):
love your podcast, and especially love when you offer advice
to your listeners. I'm almost twenty nine years old, have
been single for two plus years, and I'm not a
huge fan of the guy. I'm not a huge fan
of the whole dating app thing. In January, I met
a cute guy who happens to be my physical therapist.
He treat me for a hip injury for a few
weeks until I found out that I needed surgery to
fix it. I sent him an email from my personal
email address, which includes my cell phone number in the

(37:59):
signature after we pause physical therapy, informing him that my
orthopedes or decided surgery would be the next step. I
was hoping he takes that opportunity to put my number
in his phone to reach out, but maybe he's just
really honoring patient doctor confidentiality, or maybe wishful thinking. So
now I'm two weeks outpost surgery and have resumed physical
therapy with him. I have five more weeks with him.
So my question is, how do I know if he's interested?

(38:21):
If he doesn't make a move, how do I want
physical therapy is officially done? Help please anxious to hear
what all of you would recommend, because I love hearing
what Mark and Easton have to contribute, especially Easton thanks
ps Kanya. Data for a lifetime, t l am, I
don't know what it means data, love and mind. It's
like our thing put your star in the sky. Yeah.

(38:45):
I had a very like very college college experience, like sorority, bobcat,
the whole thing. Do you know what a bobcat is?
Not only people that went to my school know what
that is. It is a distinctly Yeah. I think it
was like Tanya's club, like she had the John mayor
I make my made up things. Thet um who wants

(39:08):
to take the lead on this one? This is tough
because I mean, I don't know, are there are there
laws against this kind of thing? I'm sure? But do
you remember my knee doctor? Oh Denny is he that's
as the TV show? He's not about to do anything
while she's a patient. Well, definitely, I don't think, especially

(39:29):
working on the hip, Like he's not going to be
like stretching the hip. Remember the creepy guy that was,
you know, creeping out on all the gymnasts. Yeah, definitely
he's not about to do he can't. Now is not
the time for him to make moves. So I don't
look for any signs right now. But I think when
the first stup that you should do aaron is um,

(39:52):
figure out if he's seeing somebody. So I actually had
a knee doctor that I thought was super hot and
I've gone him twice and I was like how do
I kind of got a little bit of flirty vibes,
but I couldn't tell he didn't have a ring on.
But then I was like does he you know? And
we've learned that some men don't wear rings. Yeah, Um,
so I shoot. Now I'm trying to remember how I

(40:12):
did it. But I figured out how to find out
if he had he had a girlfriend, But I can't
remember how I did it. It was something like, um,
he asked me a question. I said, oh, yeah, that's
a really great spot to bring your significant other. Are
you seeing someone? Or like do you know what I mean?
Like what was it? Do you remember this? I don't
remember this. Shoot, I love that cologne. No, no, no.

(40:37):
But it was something like oh that's a really It
was something about like a place in l A. And
I was like, oh, that's a really good place to
go on a date, like you should bring your girlfriend.
Oh do you have a girlfriend? And he was like
I do? And then I found out he had a girlfriend,
so then I didn't take any further. But there might
be an easier way to go about that kind I
feel like you could just be like, we just ask him. Yeah,

(40:59):
sometimes it's just ask, but I mean there may be
a way that you could just be like, oh, what
are you doing this? Do you have plans this weekend?
As he's working on your hip and you're just like,
he's working on here. You know what, at the end
of the day, when you're done with your physical therapy,
you can leave a little note with the nurse and
say this is my number, give it to the doctor

(41:21):
and leave it to him. If he likes you, he'll
contact you. But you're saying there's nothing in the five
weeks that she can do, So I think what now
she es she can put out? I think like noncommittal
gentle vibes like oh, you're a really good therapist. I

(41:42):
don't know, your hands are so firm. It's it's just
going to make every every um subsequent appointment awkward. Yeah,
if you do it like right now, the next five
weeks could be really awkward. The thing I'm concerned about
for is after the five weeks, like, because you could
leave in it with the nurse. That's that's a good one.

(42:04):
But like if she's not comfortable including his coworkers in it,
Like do you look for him on Facebook? She has
her she has his email. Oh she could just see
in an email. Then that's that's what she should really
enjoyed getting to know you. I didn't know if you
were I felt she needs to find out somehow if
he's single. I'm just saying I don't know if you're

(42:26):
my first suggestion, but your story about it made it
seem like it wasn't as like natural like it was. Oh,
it's super easy. Okay, so let's just pretend there. Okay,
you be the physical therapist and I'm Aaron in a situation. Okay,
hey Aaron, how are you so great? Okay, hey Aaron,

(42:47):
great to see you again. How how's the hip? It's
so good. Can you do what you've been doing the
last couple of weeks? Yeah, I've never been a physical
therapy how this works? But yeah? Perfect? Would you do
this week end? Dr? Hot? Uh? Doctor? Oh you know,
I went out with some friends and just had a

(43:09):
pretty low key weekend. Oh that's awesome. Yeah, a lot
of my friends actually because it was you know, St.
Patrick's Day. They were all out with their their boyfriends
this weekend. Did you did you go out with your
girlfriend this weekend or were you with the guys? I
don't even think you need to do that. That was good.
I think he'll he'll offer it up. I think you're

(43:31):
going to find out. But she's got five weeks. I
think just casual conversation she's going to find out. Yeah,
and he I feel like even if he's not going
to make any like questionable moves because of his job,
she'll get a vibe you know, when someone's like kind
of at least flirty with you, Yes, flirty with me,

(43:52):
and then he had a girlfriend. But I'm saying if
if he gets to the point where you feel like
he's flirty, it kind of opens up to where you
can be like, oh are you saying? Like if he's
acting like he's single, allows that question. If he's like
very professional, doesn't even or yeah, sorry just hadhany or
you could say if he's asking you, like how your

(44:12):
week was, you can be like, ah, Aaron, this is
you again, So I'm you. I just had the most
horrific Tinder date. I can't believe I'm on those dating apps?
Are you on any of those dating apps that that's
so like, No, I'm in a relationship. Or I'll be like, yeah,

(44:35):
so much better. That's the other one was not dating
app date and you're just need yeah consoling. Yea he
didn't know if anyone else is in the same boat
that we got there. That felt like we did that
with air. But Aaron, please keep us posting. Email us

(44:58):
back if it were five weeks. Yeah, um, okay, Eastern,
what's your next one? You know? I kind of like
this the three D minimum from from another Kelsey spelled differently,
but but at Kelsey nonetheless. Kelsey writes, Hi, Becca, Tanya,
Mark Easton, and Robin. First of all, and not that
you haven't heard this before, but I love the podcast

(45:20):
and I look forward to listening to you all every week.
I hope you guys can give me some advice or
thoughts on this topic. So recently I tried to get
back into the dating arena through dating apps. I was
in and on again, off again relationship for the course
of four years. I've since moved on and want to
get myself back out there. Dating apps have been interesting
to say the least. I've gone on a handful of
dates but have not felt they need to pursue a
second date with anyone so far. My friends have told me,

(45:41):
they say it takes three dates to find out if
you're really interested in a person. I want to know
your thoughts on this. Where do you think it's true
or if I should be able to get a good
feel on the first date. Is there something wrong with me?
Or am I just near to this and I should
be giving these guys more of a chance to get
to know them much love? Mhm. I mean Robin took
a few years to know that she was interested. Um,

(46:04):
I don't I personally think you Listen, I kind of
feel like you know, yeah, on the first date, I mean,
I'm with you, I was gonna say the same thing.
I really do. You could give it a second date,
but I always kind of do on a first date
if it was if something was there, if it wasn't.

(46:25):
Don't you guys feel that way? I mean, I feel
like I'm so harsh and like right off about him,
like I write people off. I think that's the problem too.
And I say this to my brothers in law as well,
Like you're too quick to write women off, like you
need to give them a little bit because maybe you're nervous,
maybe they're nervous, maybe they're not completely comfortable. But it
always kind of felt like you know, don't you? Yeah,

(46:48):
I always felt that way. The thing with dating apps
now is there's a lot of preliminary events before you
meet them. Usually there's a lot of messaging and textings
and stuff. I feel like you've almost in on two dates,
so now more than ever, the first date's fine when
you meet someone just in general, you know, like I'm
I have chemistry with a person or I don't like

(47:11):
I mean, I even feel that way. It was just
friends and people in I either like click with him
or I don't like somebody. You know, a second date
isn't going to change. Yeah, somebody once told me that
you can go on six days or something like totally like,
I'm yeah, if I'm going on six dates of someone,
that's giving my husband, I'm married, our six days schedule

(47:32):
for this weekend. Yeah. I remember I went on a
date with some guy and his grammar was so bad.
I'm like, you're done. I had things to a date
with a guy and his nails were so long. I
was like, no, yeah, but you know what I do
before every date, I have a glass of wine. Oh wow,

(47:56):
me to the edge off onto where any social outing
I do. I'm like, I think I didn't. I don't
even Like I'm not someone who drinks often and like
needs alcohol to calmda. Like, I'm not someone who goes
home after a long day. But before I'm going out
on a date or have an event, I'm gonna have
some wine. Just at I put I put some rose

(48:20):
in a McDonald's because I was getting in an uber
and I was like, I gotta he can't know. I
loved it. Um, But you know what the best place
to get your wine where? Yeah? I do know. Actually
it's a Wink with sea. Yeah. And do you know

(48:40):
why we love it so much Robin Pop quiz because
they deliver it straight to you. Yeah. We're all about
staying at home, not leaving the house here. Um, it's
part of the problem with our dating life. But also
you know, it gives us a lot of time of
um learning independence, um, while also being on the others,

(49:03):
depending on others to bring things to us. But I'm
like that person, like whenever I go to buy wine.
I'm not a Somalia. I'm not a Somalia, so I
don't really know much about wine. So I get there
and I'm like, there's so many options. I just never
know what to do. All you have to do with
Wink is they like they have a little test where
it kind of matches you up. They ask you questions
so they're like, no, your palette and then they send

(49:24):
you the wine based off of your palette. So if
you don't know exactly what you like, they'll do it
for you. Which I'm the same way. I go to
the store and I'm like, what price point am I
supposed to get? To be respectful? Um? Respectful in each
month to myself? Am I'm worth? I'm saying if I'm
like buying it to go or something like what am I?

(49:47):
Work and wine dollars UM so they match it to
your taste. They ship it right to your door and
it starts at just thirteen dollars a bottle. Um. They
have new delicious wines they have UM. The super popular
one is the Summer Water Rose. That's what we had
at Stage Coach last year. Are refrigerator was like stocked
with I want to try that it's delightful. Um. There's

(50:10):
no membership fees. You can skip it any you can
skip any month, and you can cancel it any time,
which is nice to know you're not trapped, but this
would be something you'd want to be trapped in. Or
if like you're going out of town and you just
want to pause it for a month, yeah, or if
you're doing a clanse or something. UM shipping is covered
and if you don't like a bottle that they send
to you, they'll replace it with something you love, which
is awesome, but it is it's like a little wine

(50:32):
club that you get to be a part of when
you join week UM. They do all the work, They
match the wines based on your taste. All you have
to do is go to triwink dot com slash Becca.
You'll get twenty dollars off your first shipment. I don't
know if you'll heard me. That's twenty dollars off your
first shipment. That's t R y w I n C

(50:52):
dot com slash Becca b E C C A for
twenty dollars off one more time. Try wink dot com
slash back. I was trying. I don't try wink dot
com slash Wow, pretty good, pretty good. True. So basically

(51:17):
what we told what we told Kelsey is you know,
on the first date and get a wink membership. Yeah.
But also I think you have to know yourself to
know if that's like, if you know, if you're able
to get it, judge, if you're what am I trying
to say a character? Yeah, and if it's like a
big deal breaker, and then you know what I mean,
like if you're kind of wishy washing on someone, maybe

(51:38):
give it a second date. But I know, we had
a dating coach call in on our podcast and she said,
at least like you should at least give someone two days.
I mean, you probably should, I know, but it's hard
enough to get. But there are some that I think
when you know you know, yeah, yeah, I mean I
think there's some that are within the first five minutes,
Like how do I get out of this? Yeah, You're

(52:00):
nail is a really good Yeah, it's called Kiss the Bride.
Really pretty Thank you, Becca, Thank you. I got some
little jazz to mine. Oh wow, letter on the nails. Yeah,
shout out to nail Swag for that. Um, anyways, three
date minimum, we already did that. Kelsey hoped that was

(52:20):
helpful for you. So what do we say? You should
maybe give him a second day. Don't feel bad about
cutting him off after the first day if you don't,
My sister, there's no minimum, so just follow your heart.
This next one I really like. This is a from
Anonymous who works at a hospital. We love her already. Yes,

(52:44):
at work, I work at a hospital. Go figure. I
meet people all the time. But this one guy I
just recently met suddenly stat to me and I'm pretty
content in life where I'm not really looking for a
relationship nor need one. Who wouldn't mind if it happened,
you know. Well, I keep running into him, which I'm
not sure that even means, or if I should take
it as a sign or whatever. But anyways, he's super cute,
and I come to find out through some friends that
work at the hospital he's actually thirty five. He looks

(53:06):
nowhere near that age. Well it obviously it obviously took
me by surprise, and for the record, I'm only twenty three.
We've sparked up great conversations at times we've run into
each other, and all before I came to even find
out how old he was, and he just seems like
a great guy in general. He intrigues me so much.
But I should be thinking about this because of the
age difference. I've asked some of my friends about it.
They all seem to be fifty fifty on the whole
age thing. I'm not sure whether I should be freaked

(53:28):
out or not. But I mean, people are always dating
people that are nowhere near their age. I don't know
if I'm thinking too much into it mainly thing come
of it, but I just want to get you all
perspective help. So I don't know where you get to
stand on this. I uh. I mean the thing is
is that may not look that's a preconservable age difference.
I think twenty three to thirty years ah, And I

(53:50):
think when you're that part of your life, you're going
through a lot of changes and you know, just an
old aspects of your life. I don't know how well
you're gonna be able to relate to each. So I'm
not saying run away from it. I'm just saying that,
like it's it's probably going to be an issue. Yeah,
if it's not right off the bat, maybe down the
road there might. I mean, I've always been a person

(54:10):
who says age is just a number, Like I've never
been like I've always been attracted to older men because
I'm like a little bit of a grandma, like better early,
and I just it depends on So I've always been
like a fan of dating older. But I will say
I think I was twenty six and I went out
with like a forty three year old and he looked

(54:32):
really good, Like he looked super hot. Yeah, it was
a big age and it was everything was we totally
were clicking, like vibing. The only thing is, like he
kept saying, I lived in Asia for eight years. I
did this for ten years. I did, and I kind
of was like fresh out of you know, I've been
out of college for three or four years, you know.
And that's where I think, like you start to run

(54:54):
into the like you've had so much more life experience
than me. And not that he ever made me feel
like I was like dumb or you know what I mean,
Like you never made me feel inferior because of it,
But I was always just kind of like we're not
really lined up in our lives. So I think, like,
you know, age is an age is just number, and
I think you can click with people that are older.
But I think when it really gets down to it
and you get into a relationship, there's going to be

(55:15):
that kind of not mesh. Well yeah, I mean he
it kind of depends on her and who she like,
what are her hobbies, what is she like doing? Like
what is she interested in right now? Because is really
young and I know, I mean I know people who
got married younger than twenty three, and um, we're ready

(55:37):
for it. However, I think there's a lot that happened
to me from twenty three to nine where I am
now that at three I was like, oh, I'm I
could be ready to settle down and you know, I
have kids and everything. But in my life now, I'm like,
I can't imagine having done that. And but I also

(55:59):
feel like maybe he he's in a place where he's
maybe he's a young thirty five and hasn't hasn't done
a lot as far as experience, and they don't have
that much of a disconnect in that area, right right,
I mean he, I know, without knowing either of them,
hard to even say, she's just have to feel it
out for real, because if he is, if he isn't

(56:20):
you see a doctor at the hospital, I mean, aren't
you like in what's it called residency until you're like
thirty two or something, So he might just be like
that's all he's ever done. Yeah, yeah, I mean she
should if she likes him, I say, get to know him.
Don't don't write it off immediately, write off immediately, be prepared.

(56:41):
I mean, it doesn't sound like she's someone who's like
desperate for a relationship. E there. It sounds like she's
kind of like, oh, is something if someone interests me,
then I'll I'll consider it. And so the fact that
this guy intrigues her enough and has held her attention
at this point, it's like, I don't think that comes
at least for me. And if she's seems like she's
a little bit more like me, Like, I don't think

(57:02):
that comes around so often where you're like that intrigued
with someone to just write it off because of an
age gap. Yeah, well, I hope there was some help. Anonymous.
Go for it, Go for it, go for it. This
this one, I think you guys really dig that should
be at the bottom of your stack. It's from L
and she was an extra on Gray's Anatomy. So L says,

(57:27):
after the last episode, I thought I'd reach out and
give some insight into being an extra on Gray's Anatomy
a few years ago. I had the pleasure of being
in a couple of scenes, yes, including one with our
Delie beloved Derek Shephard and Meredith Gray. That's for your
question of how the surgeries go on the table, It's
actually a plastic mannequin. It doesn't even have a head,
and the insides are covered in fake blood that are
squirted on by makeup artists in between each take. Crazy right,

(57:49):
It really is a testament to how incredible the actor
is on the show. Are to get so emotional and
raw lots of love, l I know, I wonder what
episode she was in. I will feel free to reach
back in with the exact episode in time stamp that
you're like to review it. Have you ever watched Crazy Anatomy?
It's been so long. I did, and then I just
kind of I mean, but yeah, when did you stop?

(58:11):
Like season seven? Don't remember, but I loved it. Yeah
it did, and then life got so busy and then
I just fell off. But it was so good, I
mean the beginning season. Yeah, it got kind of bad
for a little bit, maybe perfect. That's where probably where
you fell off. A lot of people fell off. You

(58:32):
like staying strong. But it's in a place now where
I'm a little bit angry. But really I didn't even
watch the one from this week yet. Wow. Um, okay,
let's do another email. Uh, let's see how I like
this one from Cassandra U on your stomach issues, telling

(58:54):
your stomach issues GI issues. Oh do you? Yeah? So,
Cassandra writes in saying can I just start by saying
I love you all? Back An Tania. You two are
amazing role models for women, and I love the friendship
you two share. Mark and Eastern You two are so awesome.
I could listen to you talk both all day. I'm
happy that Becca posted a picture in the Facebook group

(59:15):
so I could put a face to everyone's name. My
question is for Tanya. I know you have stomach issues
like I do. I get anxiety about going out for
dinner at restaurants or friends houses because of how unpredictable
I'm predictable my stomach is. Do you ever feel this
way too? How do I get over it? Thanks? Guys,
love you so much. Cassandra from Canada. I love this
email so much because it's a daily battle. Because sometimes

(59:38):
cheese can have no effect on me, and in other days,
most days it can really steer me the wrong direction.
And I feel like I'm always constantly like dealing with
my issues. So, um, well she's anxiety. When she was
like yeah, so I say, Cassandra, um, figure out what
your triggers are with your stomach. I feel like you

(01:00:00):
have to really be aware of like what you're eating
and how you feel after you eat it. Um. I
always have gas X with me. It's another tip. And um,
I say, like, I have a really bad anxiety when
I go on dates because a lot of guys will
just like order for the table and You're like, I
can't have that that has like so much dairy in
And I was just like and then they think you

(01:00:21):
you don't eat yeah, and it's not bad. Yeah, it's
like a whole thing. Um. So I say, um, if
you have anxiety, like when you're going out to eat
with somebody, always order like something very um that you
know it's going to be good with your stomach. Always
order that, have a bite of whatever he orders, and

(01:00:42):
just you just have to know your triggers and stay
far away from them. That's how I love my life.
I got to build that stomach of steel with McDonald's
like fast food, I mean, can really get me. Yeah,
I mean I would assume if you don't eat it
on a semiregular basis. But she needs she just needs
to start a McDonald's every day. Yeah, you just got
build your build, that's right. Yeah, Cassandra, take whoever's advice

(01:01:06):
you want here. No, I do. I know. I have
a lot of friends and they've had to figure out,
like what what makes it bad? And actually like cut
it out. Do it like the most random things too,
Like one of my friends gets like a really bad
reaction sheets Bell Peppers, minds, dairy, dairy. Just I feel
like dairy is pretty common. Sends me. Do you guys

(01:01:29):
order for you a lot, like out to dinner, That's
the thing. Yeah, I've never done. I've never done been.
I've never you never had someone say the lady will
have the Linquini and White Clan sauce, and I d
I'd walk I think I'd get up and walk out.
I have ordered for male friends of mine, just like

(01:01:50):
when we go around the table, Hey, what do you
think about getting Like I think I'm gonna have the
stake Madera like cool, and then I'll order mine before
you can say something like and the gentleman will have
to stake mederia please. It's a fun parlor trick. I
feel like if I'm on a date with a guy
and he's been to the restaurant before and he's like, um,
do you want me to just order some things I've had?
And I'm like it's cool. But if he's like, I'll
handle this, no, I never had any of a chance then,

(01:02:13):
because I'm kind of picky. I know what I like.
But um, yeah, I could see where if you had
stomach problems that would definitely give me anxiety totally. He's like,
you have the clan. If Sdy ordered me linguini with
clam sauce, I'd be like, oh, mac and cheese and pizza.

(01:02:36):
That's delight and delightful. Yeah. So I think you got
some good advice there, Cassandra. I hope you were taking notes.
Yeahs X is your friend? Is your friend? Get the kidding.
I won't initiate anything. I was looking at that one too.
I like this. This is from Becky and Rachel. They
were sitting side by side, each typing with one hand. Dear,

(01:02:57):
Becca Antonia, My best friend Reachel and I love listening
to your podcast. We're always discussing the weekly content and
love getting your dating advice. We have a situation that
we have been going back and forth on quite frequently
for the last few months. Rachel has a crush on
this guy who is a friend of a friend. We've
been seeing him on occasion in group settings for the
past nine months and they seem to have a lot
of chemistry. They seems to give off the vibe that
he could be interested. He's great in person, but then

(01:03:19):
never reaches out or makes an effort. Rachel seems to
be the one always initiating things. Recently, Rachel reached out
and set up plans for just the two of them.
She felt in the connection, but nothing romantic came of it.
Now keep in mind this guy is known to be
bad at making plans in with communication. We couldn't help
but think what would beck in Tanya do? Should Rachel
just tell him how she feels? Or is this a
classic He's just not that into you? Thanks to advance, Tanny,

(01:03:42):
I think you need we need to discuss what you
don't get. You know what you don't get that we
talked about on the other party. Yeah, why guys want
to be friends? So annoying? I don't want to Why
do you guys want to be friends? I want to
date you. I don't want to be your friend. You
don't want to date me. I don't want to be
your friend, right right? Exactly? You got enough friends? But

(01:04:05):
do you have guy friends? Like? Did you? I'm sorry,
I mean, especially before you were married, did you have
guy friends? I mean not like no, yeah, ish not

(01:04:27):
really to be honest with you, because you were interested
and they were I wouldn't have guy friends that I
thought were attractive. Would be the point of that, you
know what I mean? Like that would just be weird
and annoying. Yeah, I mean if I was if I
thought they were cute, I don't know, that would be weird. Yeah,

(01:04:47):
you're saying for her to make it what do you
want to do? No? No, No, I was just and
I was also thinking about the text you got from. Oh,
I feel like we need to address that. Yeah, let's
answer this and then we'll address up. Um. Oh, I
feel like if this is me, can I just say, like,

(01:05:10):
if there's a guy that I'm interested in, I want
him to be crazy about me. I don't want a
guy to be lukewarm about me. I don't care if
he's bad at communicating or whatever. No, next, like, if
you're not crazy about me and excited about me, and
you know, forget it and make me question it. Right,
there's not There's no better feeling than being with somebody

(01:05:31):
who just can't wait to see you, so excited to
talk to You're so excited for that next day. That's
really the feeling that you want to have. You don't
want to be like guesswork like m hm, I don't know, Well,
I need to reach out to him. I need to try.
Every woman wants to be wanted and desired. It's like
human nature for the guy to be the one that

(01:05:53):
makes the move and is the aggressor. You know, I
don't know what our society has become where now we
as women are like having to reach out. But you know,
it's all the texting, and it's this and that. Before
it was like they would call, they would make the plans,
they would set up the dates. It was so much better.
It was so much more. There was so much more chivalry.
You know. Now it's like I don't I don't like

(01:06:15):
where it's where it's become you know, what's happened. I
think they say that, like just guys are also a
little bit shy. Guys need like more a little more
affirmation that like they should make the move. Yeah, because
it's not the way it used to be. Women are
so much more forward now. I just have always felt
like and it was just maybe it's just the way
I was raised, but it was like, if a guy

(01:06:37):
wants you, he's you're going to know, like even if
you don't like, you're going to know that he wants you.
And I've never really like I've I've always been able
to tell if a guy likes me, you're not the
guys that like me and want me, it's very obvious.
I don't have to question it, And don't we like that?

(01:06:57):
As women? We like that, And I think you like
the guests work if you have to question it, he's
not trying to flirt with you. I mean, how many
times have come to you and been like, is this
guy like hitting on me? Or it is just not
And I'm like if I'm even questioning it? Right? Yeah, Yeah,
Like there's a scenario where this guy is really into it,
but he's just super shy. And if that's the case, like,

(01:07:18):
I mean, he needs to I don't like this phrase.
He is a man Like I'm a very nervous person.
But when I was involved with a lady I liked,
I would spend my entire day thinking of a reason
to call her, like, yeah, I saw this cloud that
reminded me of you, something like that. Even that was
a like that desire is able to break through any
type of shyness or nervousness, you know, So he's probably

(01:07:40):
not that indo Rachel, Rachel. Watch the movie. It'll give
you some tips. I watch it weekly. Yeah, I do
the Yeah, but like I relate to the character Gigi
so much that I'm just like, like, I don't know,
it just makes me feel good. Watch that movie and

(01:08:00):
move on from this loser. Yeah, move on. Yeah, but
it doesn't. I mean, it doesn't mean that he's a loser.
Just means you want to be with someone who you
deserve to not have to question if someone's Yeah, but
if he's not into Rachel, I already know I like Rachel,
then he's a loser. Oh I see, Yeah, move on
from that loser time. It's not it's not worth like

(01:08:22):
having to question things, and I wonder if you're supposed
to say something no, no, what is it is exhausting?
Like men should be men, and you know, so after
what they want. I don't. I don't like this whole
thing now where it's like you're having a question. I'm
a big fan of dropping the handkerchief, meaning like sure,

(01:08:42):
like drop a little hint that you're attracted to them,
want them, that's fine, But then pick up the hanker. Yeah,
they need to pick it out, they need to pick
him up. Just drop the handkerp it. I can't put
it in your back pocket, right, these guys want you
to put in a T shirt cannon. Just be fine
on account you want to be pursued special Yeah you

(01:09:04):
know yeah? Do you know who was pursued Phoebe Phoebe Chilly? Yeah?
Because have you seen my dog Phoebe. Yes, She's the
greatest thing in my life, the biggest love in my life. Literally,
she um is a queen. Everyone knows and love. Everyone
who knows her loves her, Like I would be jealous

(01:09:27):
of how much time Becca spends with Phoebe if I
didn't love Phoebe as much as I. But Phoebe's okay.
Phoebe likes everyone else kind of more than me, and
I'm just having to accept it. I feel like I'm
mom and she's like hanging out with all her friends
and she's like mom like friends and then eventually she's
going to appreciate me more. Yeah, I've just like taken it.

(01:09:47):
I'm not trying not to jump the gun, you know,
not get jealous or weird. Um. But she got a
bark Box a few weeks ago and she those are
her favorite toys, but a golden retriever. Have you ever
tried bark Box. It's a subscription box for dogs and
they send you like treats and toys and it's like

(01:10:08):
specified to the dog's size and their way. It is
the cutest thing. And they have a theme every month,
like I mean every box that they send out, there's
a different theme. So hers was like, um, medieval time,
so it was like a queen with like a crown
and all the treats. It was everything to that. They
have a p New York City, Brooklyn Hipster bark Ball

(01:10:32):
country Fair. Yeah. Um, and so they, like I said,
they I sent my mom and their puppy one two
and my mom's like the treats that they had in
there are her favorite ones to chew on. So I
haven't had any one who knows what bark boxes say
that they didn't love it. Um. So it's like new
toys every month. Um. They have like squeaky toys which

(01:10:56):
can be annoying, but she loves them, so I love her. Um.
And if if your dog doesn't like something in the box,
they'll send you something that they'll love for free because
they're all about the dog's happiness and there's free shipping
um on bark box within the US. Yeah, it says
when I love this it does. When your dog falls
in rove with something from the box, you can easily

(01:11:17):
find it again on bark shop dot com, which is
their app, or you can text them. Um. So you
just choose your dog size, choose a plan, and then
you circle the fifteen of the month on your calendar
because that's when the bark box ship. So what do
they have to do? Um? Well for a free extra
month of bark box, you can visit bark box dot
com slash s Becca when you subscribe to a six

(01:11:40):
or twelvemonth plan. So once again, that's bark box dot
Com slash Becca. That's bark box dot com slash Becca.
I'm trying to get like the right note. Maybe maybe
that's not it. Let's try it again. Let's let's focus
and do the right Okay, you're going let me hear

(01:12:02):
what your note is? Becca again? Becca? I go Becca, Becca,
Go go Becca. Yeah, that's it. That's good. O bark
box dot com slash Becca. Good, we got it. Oh

(01:12:30):
that was great. Um. Yeah, so I want to talk.
I wanted to talk about this earlier, but I forgotten
until we got um Rachel and Becky's email. Oh wait,
by the way, I had to shout out one of
our listeners that obviously this is the podcast because this
is the only place I've talked about my big love
for Big Sean, like my crush on Big Sean. But
I posted a video of me like saying I'm learning

(01:12:52):
Big Seawan's wraps or whatever, and I tagged him in it,
and she responded. She she said the very way of
dropping the handkerchief was like, I love it. Nice it is.
You're still moving in on Vic Sean. No, I mean
he's got Jiang. Iico, how do you say her name? Yeah,

(01:13:13):
I'm not trying to be a home wrecker. But in
the off chance that he is ever single, it might
be very soon. Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't
know if we wanna talk about that very soon. Um. Okay,
So you got a text from a guy that you
went on like two dates with. Um, he lives in
New York and he's sent you a text. I was

(01:13:37):
going to preface it, but I want to. It's just
so bizarre. So I went on, I've gone out with
him like twice, and UM, he sent me a text message,
very lengthy text message, basically saying and I'm not gonna
say like what he does or whatever, but um, he's
having a change of heart in terms of like profession
and like wants to maybe start something new, moved to

(01:13:57):
the West coast, you know, one to pick your brain.
And I'm just like sitting here reading this thinking like
I wanted to date you, Like I actually was like
sad because I wanted to date him. I wanted to
do like I was like down for a long distance,
like I liked him, and I felt like sad that
he didn't want to dick. I felt rejected. And now
he's like asking me, like what I think to his life.

(01:14:20):
I was like, this is so bizarre and it bugs
me because like we have texted about this guy, and
like your feelings were hurt by and how he handled
after you all went on the dates and get it,
like y'all live across the country, but he could have
handled it much better. But to come and ask you
for like how long did he text you after you

(01:14:40):
date it? This has been a why I mean it's
been like over a year. Do you think this is
his name? Attempted trying to date you again. He's trying
to get back in there here for no, I don't
even like it. I mean, but he and he's just
trying to conversation. Oh yeah. So then I sent back

(01:15:04):
like a very thoughtful response, and I was like, you know,
only you can make that decision for yourself. I don't
I don't know what you should do with your life,
but if you need to have recommendations with where to
live when you move over here, like I can definitely
help you out. And he basically responded to the very
nice text back saying like when I, oh, you dinner,
even if it's just friends, even if it's just friends
Eastern head, even friends, this is this is because he's

(01:15:29):
trying to just it's a it's a it's an easy out,
like in case you rejected him. He's trying to save face.
How do you guys? This bugs me because he like
will respond to her, like if she posts a photo
of like at an event or something, he'll be like
whoa like comment on her Instagram. But he never like

(01:15:52):
has made any initiative to like take her out again.
Or it's weird, it's so bizary. Does he live New York?
I mean, not that he can just take her out
on Friday night, but like call her see how she's doing.
I don't know. I feel like he's just squirm yeah,
because not a fan squirm if this is the same
person I'm thinking of the first time around, total squirm

(01:16:17):
all right, he's out yeah, yeah, and the whole like
I need some advice about moving to the West Coast.
That's like on Seinfeld when the guy bet that Dustin
Hoffman was in Star Wars or else you have to
take him to dinner because then if you say no,
it's not getting turned down for a day. This is
exactly the same thing. So it's just a lame trojan
horse to get into I know in my hard heart

(01:16:39):
that if he moves out here and as Tawny to
go out, she's probably going to go to dinner. One
will no, because I have my eye on the prize bow. Okay, No,
I'm not saying I'm not going to go with other guys,
but like I think that, I think that, like maybe
six months ago I would have she's already exclusive with him.

(01:17:01):
We talked about them like their boyfriend, that I'm not
going to go out with other guys. It's so embarrassing
like this people listen to this. Hope you're not listen
more than ever on that note. So, yeah, so you're
saying you won't go out with him, and now I

(01:17:21):
know now like I have such a clear like I'm
not I'm not I know what I'm worth and I'm
not giving discounts anymore. Oh that was good because he
didn't treat me right, Like what am I doing? We
are not giving discounts anymore. That's the Oprah line of
the wheek. Yeah, there we go. No more discounts for

(01:17:46):
the squirms. No. Oh, yeah, you were on medical dramas,
which I thought of another one that I did hasn't
even been on yet. What code Black. Oh yeah, you
just recently did that one. Wow. Is it as glamorous
as it seems? Watching medical shows? The love stories, the

(01:18:06):
on call rooms? Everything m glamorous. I guess Chicago Hope
was really fun. I know what, she's the girl that
was emailing about the you know, the operating table. I
know all of those things because I was right there
doing all that stuff on Chicago Hope. And it's so
cool because like they'll have um, the chest, you know,

(01:18:28):
like the I don't know what the chest cavity. I
can't think of what. It's like kind of rubbery, and
they'll have it open, and then the body will go underneath.
I don't know how you can see what I'm doing,
but the body, the head will go butt up against
the chest. So the head's here and the legs are
down here, and the table's here right so it looks

(01:18:49):
like an actual human body underneath the light and then
they'll be able to cut it. It's so cool to
her neck right about. Yeah, that's really cool. So I
had scenes with like Mandy Ptinkin and he seemed like
such a real doctor, you know, and I would have
to hand him the tools exactly like the Scalpel in

(01:19:10):
this and then if I did it wrong, he'd be
like again, and I'm like, oh gosh, he's I loved
him so much. No, but he convinced me that he was.
I was like, I'm not really a nurse, Mandy, I
don't really know what I'm doing. You have to hand
them exactly like smack them in the hand exactly right,
you know. Yeah. They I feel like they have like

(01:19:31):
medical professionals on set. Accurate. Yeah, I mean it makes sense.
I'll shout out to Linda Kline because she's actually she
was on Chicago Hope and now she's a producer on
Raised Anatomy, My Girl, and she was on Digie Houser.
M Oh, we love her. What's your name? Linda Kline?
You should, She's amazing. You'd love her so much. She's

(01:19:53):
the best. Um. We just want to be on a
medical drama one day, even if I'm like in the background,
just like Gray's that me shoot for the stars. Yeah, gys,
not me. I want to be in the background, just
like wheeling around the background. You want to be a
guest star? No, I feel like so nervous. I want
to like lines like, I just need to be like

(01:20:14):
there so I can have background extra girl and wheelchair. Yeah,
like in the room when they're like doing all the
like you know, like one of the weird random doctor
Susan the gallery and you're like that stranger to me, stranger. Um, Okay,

(01:20:36):
we have to wrap, unfortunately, but I want to say
thank you to our sponsors Um Bark Box, Wink and Quip,
and thank you to our guest of honor best Ever.
Thank you so much. UM, keep the emails coming. Scrubbing
in at iHeart media dot com asked to join the

(01:20:59):
Facebook group that's scrubbing in on Facebook? Um, is there
anything else? And I'm missing anything? Uh no, but maybe
we can each come up with a list of guys
that we're going to use your Uh you're like being
catfish thing with the clothes. Mine was real. I know,
I know, but like I feel like that we should
each do it next week. We're just picking random guys.

(01:21:21):
Hell yeah, Like how though on our discover page, whoever
we want we could reach out to. Chris Evans would
be a great example. Chris Pine. Oh yeah, Chris No
not for seventh Chain, No, no, no, Chris thinking I
want Christmas? Yes, yes, I love Chris. Do you know
Chris Pratt? But do we know anyone who knows him?

(01:21:43):
I'm sure we do. Which one is the Chris that
I liked with Wonder Woman Christmas Pratt? Chris Pratt, Yeah, Pratt, Pratt, Pratt, Yeah. Okay,
next week, stay tuned, Yeah, next week, I'm messaging. Okay.
So now, Robin, yes, you're going to call time of death.

(01:22:03):
What is that? It's the death of the podcast. So
we've got a clock up here, and if you were
in to call time of death and then read out
the time, we can pronounce this podcast, do you You
also have to do it in a military military time,
as the doctors do, so it would be like fifteen
fifty three the time of death, Time of death fifteen

(01:22:27):
fifty I think you're hang on, oh no, what I haven't.
I literally, But then I thought it was so dumb
that I was like, Robin, for sure it again.

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Tanya Rad

Rebecca Tilley

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 26 "Initial Diagnosis"