May 29, 2023 • 38 mins
Happy 1 year anniversary of Becca going public with Hayley! Becca shares some of her favorite memories in the last year since taking a brave first step in her relationship. And, Becca reveals if she and Hayley are still in the “honeymoon phase”.
Tanya has reversed her Hashimoto’s and opens up about the process.
Plus, we react to the discovery of two (2) new love languages!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
You look nice today as to you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Something significant happened this morning.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Yes it did.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I beat Tanya to work to the.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Podcast, Yes she did. Yes, what was it like that?
They know?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
What this makes me think is that if you weren't
already here for your morning show, that this would happen
more often.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
No, I think. So let me tell you why. There's
no proof.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
No, let me tell you why.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I really cut it short this morning because I had
a meeting. I had a meeting scheduled.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Cut it close.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I cut it too close.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So I had a meeting scheduled and it was when
we were going to record an hour later than we
had planned, and then we moved the time up an hour,
and I was like, you know what, I'm not going
to switch my meeting because I think it's just going
to be half an hour anyway.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But I did cut it too close. Yeah, I was seven.
I was like seven minutes earlier than you. You were
seven minutes late.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Actually, how it's funny.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Is I was going to text on my way and
because I knew I was going to be late, but
I was like, that's not going to be the wrong time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So it's fine. Whenever I'll get there, we'll start it
like whatever.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
It's nice to prove everyone we're wrong once in a while. Yeah,
not often, but every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Every seven years. How long has it been, I've been
doing the podcast six.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Years something like that. Yeah, yeah, it'll be six years September.
I think first time I was after you, so it's
my own so I.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Think there's been once or twice. Anyways, it's been a
long time.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
And again, don't have your expectations set on this happening again.
But it did happen on this day, which is May
twenty fifth, and that is the reveal that we were
recording this early because it's Memorial Day.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It's Memorial Day.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
But the big news.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
That has happened since the last top because we had
Camilla on and we didn't do like a host chat
where we like caught up on what's been going on.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, I know everybody was messaging me about your one
year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Oh that that did happen, But I was gonna talk
about your hashimotives reversal.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Well with you Okay, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Been a year since I, I guess since Haley and
I came out publicly as a couple, and I guess
I came out and actually I kind of I knew
it was coming up and around that time, but my
cousin actually texted me and she was like, uh.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You didn't happen to get your lender?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
No? Interesting, And I don't know that like I'll celebrate
every single year of like.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Mike coming out.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I mean it's nice.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
No, no, no, it's I mean it's a very It
was like a obviously like a huge deal in my life.
And I think that this past year was so it
was such a different feeling this year. It was like
free and joyful and beautiful and I felt so much
love and support. And there's also been hard conversations I
think sometimes with especially with social media, as we all know,
(03:00):
people just see.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Like the highs, and obviously coming out is a.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
It's you kind of feel a lot of different things
when you do it because there's people who you know,
in quotes, don't get it, and it's.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Not really for people to get.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It's not something that people need to get to be
able to love someone else and support people, and so
with the like really high highs, there were also hard
conversations that were had, but all in all, it just
it was so nice, like it flew by.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It went by so fast. I didn't even realize it
had been a whole year.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I had the same thought. I was like, wow, because
I remember the night of the music video coming out. Yeah,
I went to that bar in West Hollywood. Yeah, and
I remember that night so vividly, and it feels like
that was ten years ago.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Oh it feels far to you. Yeah, oh see, Like
to me, it feels like forever.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Ago, six months, Like it feels like that, like right,
it when summer was kind of ending, but it wasn't.
It was like when summer was actually beard inning.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Remember Summers for the Girls?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, So yeah, it's it's been great.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
I am still.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I mean I still and even still when I posted
about it, getting like messages from people and the reminder
of it being like so much bigger than my story
and my relationship is just always like an emotional experience,
like reading messages from people who are either still going
through the process of feeling ready or comfortable, and I
(04:34):
remember being in that like that feeling and being like, well,
I ever actually share this part of my life publicly
because there were times where I was like, yeah, there's.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No year for four years you didn't. Yeah, but there
was like crazy to think.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
About for four years you did not I know. But
it's also a reminder of how you have to do
things on your own time. Like I know, there was
time where I felt like, I know Hayley, doesn't you know.
At the beginning of our relationships, she was like, I
don't want to feel hidden, and so I remember thinking like,
oh my gosh, do I need to like rush myself
to be ready to do this? But then she was like,
(05:08):
I don't need you to rush yourself. I just I
don't want to be hidden. So that's when it was
kind of like, okay, privacy, there's privacy.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
And there's hiding.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, and I lived my life like around everyone who
knows me. Yeah, there was no privacy in that regard, but.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
It is so wild to think about it.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
And actually I remember me I realized that when we
had Camilla on because I forget how long you've been
dating Haley, I know, but how long we've all known
about it is like I.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Know, I know Haley and I were talking last night
and I was just we were facetiming and just you know,
being like, I miss you, I miss you. And she
was like, isn't it cool that we've been together for
five years and we're still like obsessed with each other
like that we still are like having a hard time
being away.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
From each other. It was like, yeah, it's really cool,
but also it sucks. So anyways, do you still.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Think you're in the honeymoon phase?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I mean I think there's I think it's like
the honeymoon phase, but mixed with the phase of like feelings.
I wrote this I will not read it because I
have embarrassing things on my notes. I just wrote these
thoughts about how sometimes I feel nostalgic for.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I say it thoughts down. This is really all I
needed to hear when that start happening.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Sitting under an elm tree, just jogging down your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Like dream that would be my perfect scenario, being in
the park.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
He has been saying that like he's like Becca's turning
a little Tanya lately. I don't know if you've been
noticing it, and that this just really is.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Something people always say that I've always been this way,
Like I've always written things down, like forever, even when
I was like with Robert, I would write things down
that I'm like a hopeless romantic. So I wrote down
how these thoughts about feeling nostalgic for the beginning of
the relationship, where it was just like you're like obsessive,
(07:13):
you can't get enough of each other. It's like it's
almost like unsafe because you feel like you're literally falling. Yeah,
I mean that's why it's falling in love, because you're
like you're just holding on for dear life, hoping it
works out. And then I was thinking about how I
still feel that way, but there's like a safety, like
I don't feel like I'm gonna hit the ground, like
(07:34):
I feel like I'm I'm like still in that phase
of a like being obsessed in the honeymoon phase.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
But I feel safe, yeah, which is like so comforting.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So it's that safety of like being together for a
long time and like knowing each other and feeling vulnerable
enough to share like the scary dark parts of life
with that person, and also feeling that rush of being
in love for the first time.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
That's a good run five years, Yeah, that's what I'm saying,
and I feel like a lot of people say it
ends after two years.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Oh yeah, is that the market?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
That's the market.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
So that's what I've read as as it's kind of
like two to three year mark.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Is that how you feel?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Uh, I still feel like I'm in the honeymoon phase.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I still feel like because I still feel what you feel.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I still feel like that same kind of like giddiness
in ways, but I do feel I get what you're
saying with like the safety, like it feels more concrete. Yeah,
because like in the beginning, you're you don't know, I mean,
you know when you're gonna see the person again, but
you just want to see them. You don't know when
you're gonna see them, you don't when they're going to text.
Like I know where he is at all the time
(08:44):
of the day.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
You know where everyone is watching.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
So like there's that level of comfort or I guess
as you'd say, safety, But I do still feel like
I have that giddiness, you know, like I still stare
at him.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Like like he's like my new friend.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, great, happy for both of us. Has it been
three years three.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
And a half? Whoh yeah, yep.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Sure, Like it's been three and a half years and
four days.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Years and six months accounting.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Well, happy for y'all.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Thanks, happy for y'all.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Thank you so much. Okay, and massive news.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
This is actually huge because I gotta be honest, I
don't This is a weird thing to describe for how
I was feeling about your hashimotives because in my mind,
I was like, she's gonna do it, but I didn't
know that you would be able to do it as
fast as you did to reveal the information for those
who don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Okay, so this is a scrubbing in podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
No, but but we are not medical professionals, so I'm
just gonna lay that out there.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
We're not y.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
We are not medical professionals.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
However, I do want to share my story because I
feel like so much happens in the like medical world
where it's just a quick fix of like take this medication,
take this medication, take this, take this medication, and in
some cases you need to take the medication. So I'm
not poop pooing medication. But for me, my levels when
I had when I got diagnosed with hashimotos, my levels
(10:22):
were so acute, like they were off by let's say
I don't want to even give numbers, but like it
wasn't so crazy high, and I was like, if I
don't do anything about this, it's only going to get worse,
you know what I mean. Like if you don't do something,
things just get worse. If you're sick, you know what
I mean, Like it just gets worse. So I was like,
I'm going to do this the holistic approach and just try.
(10:44):
If it doesn't work out, I'll end up taking the medication.
And it is what it is, you know. And so
I started this process around like September of last year,
and the woman I was working with said it would
take maybe like six months to a year to like
reverse it. And so when I went to go do
my blood work, I was kind of like anticipating that
(11:05):
it was going to be the same and that nothing
that I had done was going to work. I was
like mentally preparing for it to like not have changed at all.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And so it was.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Robbie too, Like Robbie was like, I was prepared for
you to like have the same results and just be
like there for you and say it's okay, let's keep going.
Let's keep going for six more months, like you got this,
Like we were both kind of in the headspace of
nothing has changed, Yeah, but we have to like stick
with it.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
I'm not even kidding you.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And I got the test results back and I found
that my levels were back to normal. I have never
felt this like rush of empowerment in my life. Yeah,
because my numbers went so far down, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Like I was like I didn't just get to normal,
I got like, way, way way normal numbers.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
So you have some buffers but for now yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, yeah, but like it's so wild because it just
goes to show you how much diet does impact our lives,
you know what I mean. Like I literally I went
and I took it super serious. I went fully gluten free,
no seed oils, I went anti inflammatory. Recently, I cut
out or try to minimize caffeine and alcohol. Like I
(12:16):
really was doing everything that I was supposed to be doing,
and it feels really freaking good.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I was gonna I don't even know what that would
feel like to like to put in the effort of
something like that and commit to something that you're unsure of.
Like it's not like, hey, guaranteed you're gonna have this
in six months, it's like it might work.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
And I was getting tired of it, Like I was
kind of just like, oh, this is just like so
much and like and then the people that say, why
are you doing all this? You're it's not able to
be done. Why you waste your time and energy and effort. Yeah,
it did kind of wear on me. Like I was
just like, oh, I'm gonna be so bummed if this
doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Yeah, of course, because you put a lot of effort
into it.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
So much effort, but it freaking'ed it.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
It worked.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I mean I think it's I think that anyone who
believes that food isn't can't heal your like food can
heal certain things, like what we're putting into our body
is crazy somebody.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
And the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But the thing was, my doctors said, when you get pregnant,
you have to be on this medication, like that is
one hundred percent. You have to be on it when
you are when you decide that you want to have
a baby.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And so that was kind of like my goal was,
I really really don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
So like my goal was I was just going to
give myself however long until I'm like ready to have
a baby. That's like how long I was going to
try and do it naturally, and then at that point
I was just gonna you know.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Oh. She was saying, if your levels were still like this,
you have to be on the oh yeah interesting.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah, and look like I don't know what the journeys like,
I might it comes back because a lot of women
it happens with pregnancy because it's like a hormonal thyroid issue,
so a lot of women get it after they have
a baby, and so who knows, I could it could
come back.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
So I feel like this is something that I'm gonna
focus on for the rest of my life, not in
that way that I have been in the last ten months.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
But like it's always going to kind of be there.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I'm very proud of you. I'm very like I was like, wow,
this is really cool.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
It really was.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It felt badass, especially watching you eat the ta Heen
and Chamoy Candy at the Angel City game. Out right
before her test, I was like, Tanya, She's like, I
pushed it today.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
But like now I'm going to let myself. I'm not
going to be as.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
What the word is, militant.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, not not to the extreme that I was. I'm
going to be like a little bit more laid back
about it, but I'm definitely gonna like stay on the path.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Well I think I think now you know how to
cook it home with the you know.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
It's yeah, now I know questions to ask you out
to restaurants, like I know how to order where I
don't even have to risk it. You know, like eggs
are cooked a lot in canola oil when you go
out to eat, and I can't have connol oil, so
I'd get like poached eggs, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
So it's just kind of like learning the.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Tips and tricks.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
The tips and the tricks.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
I'm very happy for you, very proud of you.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Thanks. Yeah, I feel I feel like wish I do next?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Oh gosh, what should I conquer next?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
You know?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
The options are endless, truly.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Now I'm back on my cycle sinking kick, okay, because
I felt like I couldn't. Really I was doing all
my cycle sinking with the workouts, but I with food.
I was like, there's only so much I can do. Yeah,
now I'm gonna go back to my like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
You gotta have something to really focus on one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
I do I really do? I know.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
You and my girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, but you know, there's lots of options out there.
There's a lot, you know, there's a lot that I
could focus my energy on.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
We never talked about a Haley show at the will
Turn cause y'all came back and y'all had seen her
when she opened for Love, but that was like, this
is her first headlining show.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
I feel like that all my friends.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Saw such a difference. It was such a different friends.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And it's so funny because I was saying too, I
was like, we just saw this show and it was
like the same albums. I was wondering if it was
going to be the same, and it was so different.
It was crazy and the crowd was wild.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
The crowd was insane.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
And typically in LA, because we're like too cold and
jaded and we like have options for like so much
entertainment here, the crowds in LA can sometimes be a little.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Bit like quiet. They were rowdy that night. It was
a rowdy show.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Like they were a loudy show.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
And it was really cool to see you know her
name on the what's that thing called marquee? Oh that's
pretty simple. I could have come up with that called
something else scroll maybe. But anyways, her name on the
marquee was sold out underneath.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
It was really cool. So I'm so proud of her
and it was so she finished the tour, I think
her last show. I think. I don't know if it's
her lot.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
She does festival right after the tour, like right after
her last official show. She has a Pride festival in
dates here June fifth.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Oh, that's like now yeah, well not no.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
But it's basically it's like tomorrow, it's like two weeks.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
She's basically done with tour.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Well, I go to New York on Sunday, Yeah, and
I'm there with her for a few days until I
come home on Thursday.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
You did it.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
What I hold on? We can't celebrate yet. I can
have a spiral at any second. That's true.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But I feel like you're gonna be pretty good because
like we're doing this today, we have plans Tomorrow Saturday,
I have to pack and then Sunday he goes here.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be good. It's it'll be uh yeah,
I think I'll be good.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, you'll be totally yeah. Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Worried about you at all, okay, great, we're gonna take
a break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
All right, we are back.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
So I also did forget to mention one thing, Okay,
go ahead, because I just thought it was so cute.
So the other day Ryan sent a Texas City and
I asking like if we were available for lunch and
to invite our significant others. And I responded and I
was like, hey, yeah, down for a cute lunch. Robbie's working,
so he can't make it. He can just like swing
by and say hi. And Ryan's like call me. So
(18:38):
I called him, and so he like really wanted to
make sure, so he like switched the time so that
Robbie could make it.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh, I know, which was so cute. We had like
a really cute, nice little lunch. Do they have a
bro that three of us? They do?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
They like really like I feel like if I weren't
even in the picture, I feel like, hey, well they
would like be cool.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Robbie's like that though.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Robbie gets a long with everybody, Like I feel like
I could send Robbie off with any a stranger and
I feel like they have a great time.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah, it is a quality of his like a part
of who he is that I really love a lot
is that he And it's not even that, it's like
he makes every person feel seen. I think that's like
the best way to describe it, you know what I mean.
Like even when he's dropping the kids off at school,
he says hi to like every security guard and every
you know, staff or what do you call the people
(19:28):
that work at school staff not clergy staff members, no,
but like the office, like the office office members.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like every person that he just like comes in contact.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
He's like always says hi and smiles and like he's
just that type of person.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Yeah. He has a very warm, welcoming.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah persona soul soul. Yeah, but it's just cute.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I'm really happy. I didn't see photos from this.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
So we took a photo, but it was like not cute.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I just did.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I hate that.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, it was unfortunate, but it was like a quick photo,
so because we were like leaving and then I was like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
What's done is done.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
What it is is a memory, Yeah, the memory.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Yeah, and no one can take that away from you.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Nobody can take that away from me.
Speaker 6 (20:16):
No.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Did you know that the five link Love languages got
too upgraded to seven, there's two new love languages.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
This is bull Why what are the two love lengths?
New ones?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Shared experiences, which is these people crave creating memorable experiences
and it it is what makes them feel loved and
close to their partner, okay, and emotional security. People who
have this love language ultimately just want to feel seen
safe and listen to that sounds like.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yeah, I'm like these could be.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
And also the the shared experience is one could be gifts.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, or acts of service. Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Well I really related to these new ones and feel
very excited about them. So the five love languages isn't
based on like it's just someone wrote those. It's not
like I'm rhetorical.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
It's not like the Caman. We're like my lovely.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I really feel like when I have really learned about something,
when there's like something thrown new in there, like with
the zodiac signs, I throw in a thirteenth one or something,
I was like, no, no, no, no, we're not doing this.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Well that's called uh, being open to new perspectives and ideas.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh is it?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
It is?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (21:34):
Anyways, so if you relate to these, I actually do
relate to the emotional emotional security is big that one
feels like it should have been in there to me. Yeah,
see that's different than words of affirmation because the words
don't make me feel safe.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
How do you show that emotional emotional emotional security one?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Like, how does one do that?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
You know? Like with words of affirmation, you are speaking
words or writing words to your partner. With acts of service,
that's like they all have like an action that followed them.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
So what is the action to that one?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I imagine the emotion what I would interpret because I
don't have the answer in front of me.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Maybe Easton can.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Google it for us, But I would imagine that that
is words of affirmation followed by action because like that's
what I struggle with sometimes when Haley says words, I'm like,
what are you doing with those?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
What do you don't?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Those don't do anything for me without some much Yeah,
give me the action.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
I am action packs.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
So my jargon, save the jargon, Save the jargon for
your mama.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Mm hmmm, that's the that's the famous close.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Yeah, that's it, not save your drama for your mom.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I didn't know if.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
You knew the difference, but so, yeah, I thought those
were interesting and I like them all.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Right, but I have to retake the test to figure
out which one.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Oh maybe I don't know if they updated the test,
we who knows, have to find out. But by the
time we're in like our next five years of this podcast,
they'll probably have like ten.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Oh, so I'm sticking to mine. Acts of service.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
That's your number one. H Like, what's an example of that?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Uh, that's a great question, Mecca.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Acts of service is doing something that either is helpful
to me or something that I mentioned. Like let's say
I really want to try this new restaurant and he
just makes a reservation at the restaurant without telling me,
Or if I've been like saying, Oh, I really want
to get this glass straw for my you know, for
my Stanley cup, and I just never gets it for me.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Like that to me is like acts of service.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Oh I see, yeah, I like that too. Yeah, I'm
very much all of them. Words are actually words without
action is probably my least Yeah, which words used to
be my most interesting?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Change? Life changes?
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Life changes? We changed the test nearly.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Yes, Oh, did you find something.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
About like what what the new love languages are?
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Like, what's the action behind the emotional security.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
One does it give so emotional security? It's a feeling
emotionally seen and taken care of? Is how? Is how
harmony describes emotional security? And I'm going to see what
so Love Languages is owned by? Like a guy wrote it?
Like one guy? So he owns it.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
What's his name again?
Speaker 5 (24:25):
His name is doctor Gary Chatman. Yeah, yeah, Gary Chapman.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You know I bought that book for Robbie on our
second date, second date, second after our second date.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Yeah, gave third man. This man is down for.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
A medal and a crown.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Wow, a crown. I have some I have some signs. Yeah, yeah,
So here's signs that emotional security is your love language.
You're not afraid of deep conversation. You ask a lot
of questions to get to the root of situations or feelings.
Friends call you to talk through issues and feelings because
they feel safe with you. You often ask your partner
(25:02):
how they're really feeling about a situation, and you enjoy
the connection that is formed by getting vulnerable with someone else.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I love this one.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Like this, We've really got a shift of Tanya's feelings
about the new love Languages quickly.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
One might be that's high up there for me that one.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Yeah, I like that they add new ones. I kind
of do like that. But I was hoping that like
it would be like there's two new love languages and
it's emotional security brought to you by and just like
that a Max exclusive, Like would you find it? They
could be sponsored?
Speaker 3 (25:35):
No, I love them.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Someone just owns it. He could do that, get that bag,
Gary Chapman.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, he could do anything. He could be like emotional
security brought by food.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
Yeah, you could say the new love language is not
Joe cheese, that's the love language.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
But yesterday Jojo posted a video of her. She was like,
I'm cleaning my makeup brushes and I was like, oh,
I should do that.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
I haven't done that in a long time.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
I used to do it once a week.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
It was like my Friday night, Julia, every Friday night,
because I just did. I was so tired from the
work week. I did not want to go out on Fridays.
I just want to stay home, clean my makeup brushes
and like I shake my legs.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
Yeah I remember that.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
So I simpler times.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Yeah, very it feels like a lifetime ago.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Seriously, I was like, I'm going to do that I
literally put an alarm in my phone for weekly so
that I never experienced that with myself.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Again, I am so weird about hygiene.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
You washing with shampoo down dish soap.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
That's what Jojo said she used.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Okay, it got There was a brush that I literally
thought was tan and it was white. When I cleaned it,
I was disgusted, Like literally, I was like horrified by myself.
So this is your reminder go clean your brushes. It's gross.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
We're just like putting gross face.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
I know it's gross.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Okay, should we do email?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Do we need to take a break and we need
to take a break and come back with emails.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Okay, we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
All right, we are back and Mark's power went out,
but we have Easton stepping in to read our email
for today.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Well, he boots up his generator. Thank you. I can read.
This is from Alex. I need some advice for an
ongoing argument I've been having with my husband. He works
long hours most days and has a large staff below him,
so he spends a lot of time answering questions and whatnot.
When he comes home, he needs to relax and get
his mind off of work. He's a big sports guy,
and he watches games multiple nights a week that usually
(27:51):
run until the time we go to bed. He also
loves to watch TikTok before bed. Now, my love language
is quality time and I remind him of that, and
he thinks that me laying on the catch next toom
while he watches sports is quality time. Sorry, come on, bro,
but I need I interrupted time with him to just
talk and be with one another. His argument is that
I nag and nag that he works a lot and
(28:13):
then nag when he gets home because he watches sports.
I don't mind him watching sports as long as I
get my quality time fixed by the end of the night.
But sometimes the games will end until ten pm and
then it's time for bed. I feel so frustrated asking
for real quality time and him taking it is me nagging.
I'm also six months pregnant, and I feel as though
the time for us, just as too, is running out.
How do I go about this argument?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
This is so I like understand this because so Haley
is like one of the hardest workers I know, and
she loves work, but when she gets home she has
to like decompress and like there is that time where
I'm just like, wait, I'm like so excited for her
to get home and I just want to hang out,
and she's like I just kind of want to like
zone out and not have to think about anything. But
(28:59):
I think as we've had these discussions, I think she
knows that my one of my big love languages is
quality time. So it's gotten to a point where we'll
like play cards, or we'll play a game or something
to where we're not just like zoned out on a screen,
but we're like able to talk, but we're also doing
something so that she's like able to decompress, but we're
also like chatting and spending quality time catching up on
(29:21):
our days. So maybe there's a way where you can
implement something that's not because maybe he needs something to
focus on that's not just like sitting and staring, because
maybe he gets distracted. So maybe there's something. It sounds
like he likes games, he likes sports, so maybe there's
something where you can sit and do something together that's
like an activity that's not you sitting on the couch
(29:44):
while he's.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
Watching to be that is not quality time.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Yeah, and even.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Sometimes understand that, like sometimes like in a day you
just might not have anything for quality time.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
In a day, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
So I think maybe looking at and it's gonna sound
so like not fun, but like scheduling out quality time
in your week and kind of like looking at like
when does he get home from work? What days are
the big games and he wants to watch because I
like Robbie likes to watch game, yes, and.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
I don't like it.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Good thing for me is I don't mind just like
laying next to him and like cuddling. That's fine for me,
like and I can just like be on my phone,
so it's to me it works. But you guys can
figure out what nights he wants to watch the games,
and then the nights out he's not watching the games,
you guys can do something else, which is quality time.
So maybe you can't fit in every single day, but
you can prioritize it more in a different way.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I was actually gonna say, schedule it out, even though
sometimes it feels like that feels sad that we have
to schedule out time because I went through that, but
I was like, I think it's important that it's especially
for someone like Haley. She if she has it on
a schedule, She's like gonna make time for it.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
So I think that and I'm the same.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
If Hailey's watching a show that I don't care about,
I'm very content just being on the couch. But I
also feel like I get quality time for her at
other times, so I'm not like yearning for it. But
I think is just having a conversation and being like,
let's schedule some time where we have I'm getting what
I need so that when when you need to decompress,
you don't feel like I'm like begging or nagging for
(31:12):
that attention. But I don't think you asking for what
you need in the relationship is nagging. I don't think
you should feel guilt or like shame for needing what
you need.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I would if I were pregnant and it was about
to be three people in the house forever, I would
be getting frustrated too doing that time together.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Yeah, and I get mean.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I think it only your quality time gets less and
less as you bring more kids into the picture.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
You know, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Robby and I are time when we have the kids.
We don't have quality time, Yeah, we just don't. But
also it's because we only have them fifty percent of
the time. So we have them, we're really present with them,
and we're with them all the time, and so when
we don't, that's when we get in our quality time.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Right. But I think you're I think Tanya's advice on
scheduling it out and just making sure that he's getting
what he needs, because it sounds like he might have
a stressful job. But also you deserve to get what
you need to. Yeah, you both do.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
There's two people in the relationships.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Yeah, good luck.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I think we can all say if we've been.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
There simpler times, you know, making the makeup brushes on
a Friday, not.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
A care in the world.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
It's so funny because there are you know, like when
you're single, there are those things that make you stressed
and sad, and then when you're in a relationship, there
are the other things that make you stressed and sad,
and neither one of you know what I mean, Like,
there's no stress or there's not there's not no stress
or sadness on either end.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Yeah, I mean different.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
It's it's the grass is greener everywhere, Yeah, you know,
but where you are you're always like, oh, I miss
the days of shaving my legs and cleaning my brushes.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
But those days you were like, I just want to
be in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, I just want to like light next to somebody
in bed, Like it's all my hairy legs my Friday nights.
I just wanted to Yeah, clean my makeup brushes with
someone there. Yeah, eat food, shave my legs and get
in back.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Yeah yeah, And now I have that, Yeah, with a
lot more on the plate, a lot more at it
on the plane.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
We have a Thursday episode with Rachel Platten, who we
ran into at the Angel City game.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yes, at our big soccer game, and she.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Wanted to come on the podcast and we were like, please,
we would love to have you on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
She wanted to share her story with postpartum, kind of
for the first time.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I think she said, so, yeah, I'm very excited about that.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Upscrubbers are not judgmental and a very safe space.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
So yeah, come on over, come on over. So that's this.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Yeah, in case you're wondering who Rachel Platten is, like.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
A small mode I get so I can't play too
much because we'll get sued, but thanks Rachel.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Yeah, I got chills.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
We play thirty seconds.
Speaker 5 (33:58):
I think thirty seconds is which thirty seconds do you want?
That's the question.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
This is my fight.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Ye prove all right song? Not that was no starting
right now. I'll be strong happy my fight song.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
And I don't really care nobody believe.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Because I still got a lot of fire left in me. Wait,
that was like thirty seconds.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
I don't know. But if you're if you work for
Rachel's record label, that you didn't hear that.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Wait, I just had an idea. What we have two minutes? Yeah,
can we get an update on your Uh?
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Yeah, I thought you're talking off the air. That guy's
a trigger trigger Dickery Rocks.
Speaker 7 (34:53):
It's tricky, caught me off.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
We just the people want to know. Has there been
a second date? There has a secon Can date?
Speaker 3 (35:00):
And you went to San Diego, right, Yeah, I.
Speaker 7 (35:02):
Went to see him San Diego. We went to the
Padres game.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
You love a sporting event.
Speaker 7 (35:07):
I know, we always we really like to go to
sporting games. But it was great, it was good. I
did not get a chance to look at the feet,
In case you were wondering, I was too scared to love,
but but I asked.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
I was like that you felt the feet right, and
she's like, no, I felt that.
Speaker 7 (35:23):
I did feel the feet and they felt yeah, like
they don't feel rough or gross.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
So I guess that's a good sign.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
At suld Tell, I think.
Speaker 7 (35:36):
Of the long nails poked my leg. I would have
run out the door so quickly. I would have like
left my bags in his place.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Wouldn't have looked.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Bad A long nail is probably that.
Speaker 7 (35:50):
Would have been devastating. Yeah, that would have been really upsetting.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Okay, so are their plans for a third activity, third
sporting event?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
You know what the third thing is.
Speaker 7 (36:00):
We're both really busy, but we're hoping we can see
each other mid June.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Okay, you I know, well, we have things going on.
Is he still showing? Is he still sending songs? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (36:12):
What was the most recent song?
Speaker 7 (36:14):
Oh my god, I'm totally exposing this poor guy.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Oh yeah, but he didn't listen to the last one
because he's still.
Speaker 7 (36:22):
Oh my god, oh my god, this poor guy. Okay,
it was by and Bye by Camp.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
I didn't know.
Speaker 7 (36:29):
It, so that I liked because I got to listen
to a new song.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Okay, it is what it is?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Are you sending Dermott? Dermott Kennedy songs. Sending new songs back, I'm.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Right, you think you'd get the hint.
Speaker 7 (36:44):
Well, this one I had more of a response. I
was like, Ooh, a new song. Thanks to the songs,
I would be inclined to just be like, oh, that
sounds great.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
Yeah, I love listening. I would be so excited warming.
Speaker 7 (36:56):
Up to the act of sending songs.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
I would be analyzing the lyrics.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 7 (37:03):
See, I'm trying not to get ahead of myself because
if the lyrics are really cute, then I might start
thinking this is more than it is. So I'm just trying.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
To But what if it is more than it is?
Speaker 5 (37:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
Dear By, no, don't read I wait, why can I?
Speaker 7 (37:22):
Oh no, you can read it out loud eastn Now
I'm thinking. Now, I'm thinking about her every day on
my mind a typical way.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Are you a life force? Thinking about her every day
on my mind? A typical way?
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Oh, my gosh, thinking about you every day.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
It's not just a song. I used to do this
all the time.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Do you know what though?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Like, I would be so if I was listening to
the lyrics and heard that, I would.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
Be so giddy okay, okay, so second day has happened.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
All's well. We're looking for mid June. Mid June update.
Speaker 7 (38:07):
Yeah, I'll report back if it happens mid June, but
I'm not holding my breath because that's like three weeks away.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
You couldn't move on.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That would be a long time. Well I don't think that,
but that's a long time to hold your breath. So yeah,
we'll see all right. Thank you so much for the update,
and we'll be back on Thursday.
Speaker 6 (38:25):
We love you so much, love you Bye.
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
You look nice today as to you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Something significant happened this morning.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Yes it did.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
I beat Tanya to work to the.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Podcast, Yes she did. Yes, what was it like that?
They know?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
What this makes me think is that if you weren't
already here for your morning show, that this would happen
more often.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
No, I think. So let me tell you why. There's
no proof.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
No, let me tell you why.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I really cut it short this morning because I had
a meeting. I had a meeting scheduled.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Cut it close.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I cut it too close.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
So I had a meeting scheduled and it was when
we were going to record an hour later than we
had planned, and then we moved the time up an hour,
and I was like, you know what, I'm not going
to switch my meeting because I think it's just going
to be half an hour anyway.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
But I did cut it too close. Yeah, I was seven.
I was like seven minutes earlier than you. You were
seven minutes late.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Actually, how it's funny.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Is I was going to text on my way and
because I knew I was going to be late, but
I was like, that's not going to be the wrong time.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So it's fine. Whenever I'll get there, we'll start it
like whatever.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
It's nice to prove everyone we're wrong once in a while. Yeah,
not often, but every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Every seven years. How long has it been, I've been
doing the podcast six.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Years something like that. Yeah, yeah, it'll be six years September.
I think first time I was after you, so it's
my own so I.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Think there's been once or twice. Anyways, it's been a
long time.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
And again, don't have your expectations set on this happening again.
But it did happen on this day, which is May
twenty fifth, and that is the reveal that we were
recording this early because it's Memorial Day.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It's Memorial Day.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
But the big news.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
That has happened since the last top because we had
Camilla on and we didn't do like a host chat
where we like caught up on what's been going on.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, I know everybody was messaging me about your one
year anniversary.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Oh that that did happen, But I was gonna talk
about your hashimotives reversal.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Well with you Okay, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Been a year since I, I guess since Haley and
I came out publicly as a couple, and I guess
I came out and actually I kind of I knew
it was coming up and around that time, but my
cousin actually texted me and she was like, uh.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
You didn't happen to get your lender?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
No? Interesting, And I don't know that like I'll celebrate
every single year of like.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Mike coming out.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I mean it's nice.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
No, no, no, it's I mean it's a very It
was like a obviously like a huge deal in my life.
And I think that this past year was so it
was such a different feeling this year. It was like
free and joyful and beautiful and I felt so much
love and support. And there's also been hard conversations I
think sometimes with especially with social media, as we all know,
(03:00):
people just see.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Like the highs, and obviously coming out is a.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
It's you kind of feel a lot of different things
when you do it because there's people who you know,
in quotes, don't get it, and it's.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Not really for people to get.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It's not something that people need to get to be
able to love someone else and support people, and so
with the like really high highs, there were also hard
conversations that were had, but all in all, it just
it was so nice, like it flew by.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
It went by so fast. I didn't even realize it
had been a whole year.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I had the same thought. I was like, wow, because
I remember the night of the music video coming out. Yeah,
I went to that bar in West Hollywood. Yeah, and
I remember that night so vividly, and it feels like
that was ten years ago.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Oh it feels far to you. Yeah, oh see, Like
to me, it feels like forever.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Ago, six months, Like it feels like that, like right,
it when summer was kind of ending, but it wasn't.
It was like when summer was actually beard inning.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Remember Summers for the Girls?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, So yeah, it's it's been great.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
I am still.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I mean I still and even still when I posted
about it, getting like messages from people and the reminder
of it being like so much bigger than my story
and my relationship is just always like an emotional experience,
like reading messages from people who are either still going
through the process of feeling ready or comfortable, and I
(04:34):
remember being in that like that feeling and being like, well,
I ever actually share this part of my life publicly
because there were times where I was like, yeah, there's.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No year for four years you didn't. Yeah, but there
was like crazy to think.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
About for four years you did not I know. But
it's also a reminder of how you have to do
things on your own time. Like I know, there was
time where I felt like, I know Hayley, doesn't you know.
At the beginning of our relationships, she was like, I
don't want to feel hidden, and so I remember thinking like,
oh my gosh, do I need to like rush myself
to be ready to do this? But then she was like,
(05:08):
I don't need you to rush yourself. I just I
don't want to be hidden. So that's when it was
kind of like, okay, privacy, there's privacy.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
And there's hiding.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, and I lived my life like around everyone who
knows me. Yeah, there was no privacy in that regard, but.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
It is so wild to think about it.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
And actually I remember me I realized that when we
had Camilla on because I forget how long you've been
dating Haley, I know, but how long we've all known
about it is like I.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Know, I know Haley and I were talking last night
and I was just we were facetiming and just you know,
being like, I miss you, I miss you. And she
was like, isn't it cool that we've been together for
five years and we're still like obsessed with each other
like that we still are like having a hard time
being away.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
From each other. It was like, yeah, it's really cool,
but also it sucks. So anyways, do you still.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Think you're in the honeymoon phase?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I mean I think there's I think it's like
the honeymoon phase, but mixed with the phase of like feelings.
I wrote this I will not read it because I
have embarrassing things on my notes. I just wrote these
thoughts about how sometimes I feel nostalgic for.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
I say it thoughts down. This is really all I
needed to hear when that start happening.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Sitting under an elm tree, just jogging down your thoughts.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Like dream that would be my perfect scenario, being in
the park.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
He has been saying that like he's like Becca's turning
a little Tanya lately. I don't know if you've been
noticing it, and that this just really is.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Something people always say that I've always been this way,
Like I've always written things down, like forever, even when
I was like with Robert, I would write things down
that I'm like a hopeless romantic. So I wrote down
how these thoughts about feeling nostalgic for the beginning of
the relationship, where it was just like you're like obsessive,
(07:13):
you can't get enough of each other. It's like it's
almost like unsafe because you feel like you're literally falling. Yeah,
I mean that's why it's falling in love, because you're
like you're just holding on for dear life, hoping it
works out. And then I was thinking about how I
still feel that way, but there's like a safety, like
I don't feel like I'm gonna hit the ground, like
(07:34):
I feel like I'm I'm like still in that phase
of a like being obsessed in the honeymoon phase.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
But I feel safe, yeah, which is like so comforting.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
So it's that safety of like being together for a
long time and like knowing each other and feeling vulnerable
enough to share like the scary dark parts of life
with that person, and also feeling that rush of being
in love for the first time.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
That's a good run five years, Yeah, that's what I'm saying,
and I feel like a lot of people say it
ends after two years.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Oh yeah, is that the market?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
That's the market.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
So that's what I've read as as it's kind of
like two to three year mark.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Is that how you feel?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Uh, I still feel like I'm in the honeymoon phase.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I still feel like because I still feel what you feel.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
I still feel like that same kind of like giddiness
in ways, but I do feel I get what you're
saying with like the safety, like it feels more concrete. Yeah,
because like in the beginning, you're you don't know, I mean,
you know when you're gonna see the person again, but
you just want to see them. You don't know when
you're gonna see them, you don't when they're going to text.
Like I know where he is at all the time
(08:44):
of the day.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
You know where everyone is watching.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
So like there's that level of comfort or I guess
as you'd say, safety, But I do still feel like
I have that giddiness, you know, like I still stare
at him.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Like like he's like my new friend.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, great, happy for both of us. Has it been
three years three.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
And a half? Whoh yeah, yep.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Sure, Like it's been three and a half years and
four days.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Years and six months accounting.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Well, happy for y'all.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Thanks, happy for y'all.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
Thank you so much. Okay, and massive news.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
This is actually huge because I gotta be honest, I
don't This is a weird thing to describe for how
I was feeling about your hashimotives because in my mind,
I was like, she's gonna do it, but I didn't
know that you would be able to do it as
fast as you did to reveal the information for those
who don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Okay, so this is a scrubbing in podcast.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
No, but but we are not medical professionals, so I'm
just gonna lay that out there.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
We're not y.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
We are not medical professionals.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
However, I do want to share my story because I
feel like so much happens in the like medical world
where it's just a quick fix of like take this medication,
take this medication, take this, take this medication, and in
some cases you need to take the medication. So I'm
not poop pooing medication. But for me, my levels when
I had when I got diagnosed with hashimotos, my levels
(10:22):
were so acute, like they were off by let's say
I don't want to even give numbers, but like it
wasn't so crazy high, and I was like, if I
don't do anything about this, it's only going to get worse,
you know what I mean. Like if you don't do something,
things just get worse. If you're sick, you know what
I mean, Like it just gets worse. So I was like,
I'm going to do this the holistic approach and just try.
(10:44):
If it doesn't work out, I'll end up taking the medication.
And it is what it is, you know. And so
I started this process around like September of last year,
and the woman I was working with said it would
take maybe like six months to a year to like
reverse it. And so when I went to go do
my blood work, I was kind of like anticipating that
(11:05):
it was going to be the same and that nothing
that I had done was going to work. I was
like mentally preparing for it to like not have changed at all.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
And so it was.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Robbie too, Like Robbie was like, I was prepared for
you to like have the same results and just be
like there for you and say it's okay, let's keep going.
Let's keep going for six more months, like you got this,
Like we were both kind of in the headspace of
nothing has changed, Yeah, but we have to like stick
with it.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
I'm not even kidding you.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And I got the test results back and I found
that my levels were back to normal. I have never
felt this like rush of empowerment in my life. Yeah,
because my numbers went so far down, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Like I was like I didn't just get to normal,
I got like, way, way way normal numbers.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
So you have some buffers but for now yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, yeah, but like it's so wild because it just
goes to show you how much diet does impact our lives,
you know what I mean. Like I literally I went
and I took it super serious. I went fully gluten free,
no seed oils, I went anti inflammatory. Recently, I cut
out or try to minimize caffeine and alcohol. Like I
(12:16):
really was doing everything that I was supposed to be doing,
and it feels really freaking good.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I was gonna I don't even know what that would
feel like to like to put in the effort of
something like that and commit to something that you're unsure of.
Like it's not like, hey, guaranteed you're gonna have this
in six months, it's like it might work.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
And I was getting tired of it, Like I was
kind of just like, oh, this is just like so
much and like and then the people that say, why
are you doing all this? You're it's not able to
be done. Why you waste your time and energy and effort. Yeah,
it did kind of wear on me. Like I was
just like, oh, I'm gonna be so bummed if this
doesn't work.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Yeah, of course, because you put a lot of effort
into it.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
So much effort, but it freaking'ed it.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
It worked.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I mean I think it's I think that anyone who
believes that food isn't can't heal your like food can
heal certain things, like what we're putting into our body
is crazy somebody.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
And the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But the thing was, my doctors said, when you get pregnant,
you have to be on this medication, like that is
one hundred percent. You have to be on it when
you are when you decide that you want to have
a baby.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And so that was kind of like my goal was,
I really really don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
So like my goal was I was just going to
give myself however long until I'm like ready to have
a baby. That's like how long I was going to
try and do it naturally, and then at that point
I was just gonna you know.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Oh. She was saying, if your levels were still like this,
you have to be on the oh yeah interesting.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah, and look like I don't know what the journeys like,
I might it comes back because a lot of women
it happens with pregnancy because it's like a hormonal thyroid issue,
so a lot of women get it after they have
a baby, and so who knows, I could it could
come back.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
So I feel like this is something that I'm gonna
focus on for the rest of my life, not in
that way that I have been in the last ten months.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
But like it's always going to kind of be there.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I'm very proud of you. I'm very like I was like, wow,
this is really cool.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
It really was.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It felt badass, especially watching you eat the ta Heen
and Chamoy Candy at the Angel City game. Out right
before her test, I was like, Tanya, She's like, I
pushed it today.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
But like now I'm going to let myself. I'm not
going to be as.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
What the word is, militant.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, not not to the extreme that I was. I'm
going to be like a little bit more laid back
about it, but I'm definitely gonna like stay on the path.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Well I think I think now you know how to
cook it home with the you know.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
It's yeah, now I know questions to ask you out
to restaurants, like I know how to order where I
don't even have to risk it. You know, like eggs
are cooked a lot in canola oil when you go
out to eat, and I can't have connol oil, so
I'd get like poached eggs, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
So it's just kind of like learning the.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Tips and tricks.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
The tips and the tricks.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
I'm very happy for you, very proud of you.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Thanks. Yeah, I feel I feel like wish I do next?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Oh gosh, what should I conquer next?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
You know?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
The options are endless, truly.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Now I'm back on my cycle sinking kick, okay, because
I felt like I couldn't. Really I was doing all
my cycle sinking with the workouts, but I with food.
I was like, there's only so much I can do. Yeah,
now I'm gonna go back to my like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
You gotta have something to really focus on one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
I do I really do? I know.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
You and my girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah, but you know, there's lots of options out there.
There's a lot, you know, there's a lot that I
could focus my energy on.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
We never talked about a Haley show at the will
Turn cause y'all came back and y'all had seen her
when she opened for Love, but that was like, this
is her first headlining show.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
I feel like that all my friends.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
Saw such a difference. It was such a different friends.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And it's so funny because I was saying too, I
was like, we just saw this show and it was
like the same albums. I was wondering if it was
going to be the same, and it was so different.
It was crazy and the crowd was wild.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
The crowd was insane.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
And typically in LA, because we're like too cold and
jaded and we like have options for like so much
entertainment here, the crowds in LA can sometimes be a little.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Bit like quiet. They were rowdy that night. It was
a rowdy show.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Like they were a loudy show.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
And it was really cool to see you know her
name on the what's that thing called marquee? Oh that's
pretty simple. I could have come up with that called
something else scroll maybe. But anyways, her name on the
marquee was sold out underneath.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
It was really cool. So I'm so proud of her
and it was so she finished the tour, I think
her last show. I think. I don't know if it's
her lot.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
She does festival right after the tour, like right after
her last official show. She has a Pride festival in
dates here June fifth.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Oh, that's like now yeah, well not no.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
But it's basically it's like tomorrow, it's like two weeks.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
She's basically done with tour.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Well, I go to New York on Sunday, Yeah, and
I'm there with her for a few days until I
come home on Thursday.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
You did it.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
What I hold on? We can't celebrate yet. I can
have a spiral at any second. That's true.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But I feel like you're gonna be pretty good because
like we're doing this today, we have plans Tomorrow Saturday,
I have to pack and then Sunday he goes here.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be good. It's it'll be uh yeah,
I think I'll be good.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, you'll be totally yeah. Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Worried about you at all, okay, great, we're gonna take
a break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
All right, we are back.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
So I also did forget to mention one thing, Okay,
go ahead, because I just thought it was so cute.
So the other day Ryan sent a Texas City and
I asking like if we were available for lunch and
to invite our significant others. And I responded and I
was like, hey, yeah, down for a cute lunch. Robbie's working,
so he can't make it. He can just like swing
by and say hi. And Ryan's like call me. So
(18:38):
I called him, and so he like really wanted to
make sure, so he like switched the time so that
Robbie could make it.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh, I know, which was so cute. We had like
a really cute, nice little lunch. Do they have a
bro that three of us? They do?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
They like really like I feel like if I weren't
even in the picture, I feel like, hey, well they
would like be cool.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
Robbie's like that though.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Robbie gets a long with everybody, Like I feel like
I could send Robbie off with any a stranger and
I feel like they have a great time.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah, it is a quality of his like a part
of who he is that I really love a lot
is that he And it's not even that, it's like
he makes every person feel seen. I think that's like
the best way to describe it, you know what I mean.
Like even when he's dropping the kids off at school,
he says hi to like every security guard and every
you know, staff or what do you call the people
(19:28):
that work at school staff not clergy staff members, no,
but like the office, like the office office members.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Like every person that he just like comes in contact.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
He's like always says hi and smiles and like he's
just that type of person.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Yeah. He has a very warm, welcoming.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah persona soul soul. Yeah, but it's just cute.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I'm really happy. I didn't see photos from this.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
So we took a photo, but it was like not cute.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I just did.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
I hate that.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, it was unfortunate, but it was like a quick photo,
so because we were like leaving and then I was like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
What's done is done.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
What it is is a memory, Yeah, the memory.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Yeah, and no one can take that away from you.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Nobody can take that away from me.
Speaker 6 (20:16):
No.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Did you know that the five link Love languages got
too upgraded to seven, there's two new love languages.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
This is bull Why what are the two love lengths?
New ones?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Shared experiences, which is these people crave creating memorable experiences
and it it is what makes them feel loved and
close to their partner, okay, and emotional security. People who
have this love language ultimately just want to feel seen
safe and listen to that sounds like.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yeah, I'm like these could be.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
And also the the shared experience is one could be gifts.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, or acts of service. Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Well I really related to these new ones and feel
very excited about them. So the five love languages isn't
based on like it's just someone wrote those. It's not
like I'm rhetorical.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
It's not like the Caman. We're like my lovely.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I really feel like when I have really learned about something,
when there's like something thrown new in there, like with
the zodiac signs, I throw in a thirteenth one or something,
I was like, no, no, no, no, we're not doing this.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Well that's called uh, being open to new perspectives and ideas.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh is it?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
It is?
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (21:34):
Anyways, so if you relate to these, I actually do
relate to the emotional emotional security is big that one
feels like it should have been in there to me. Yeah,
see that's different than words of affirmation because the words
don't make me feel safe.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
How do you show that emotional emotional emotional security one?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Like, how does one do that?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
You know? Like with words of affirmation, you are speaking
words or writing words to your partner. With acts of service,
that's like they all have like an action that followed them.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
So what is the action to that one?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I imagine the emotion what I would interpret because I
don't have the answer in front of me.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Maybe Easton can.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Google it for us, But I would imagine that that
is words of affirmation followed by action because like that's
what I struggle with sometimes when Haley says words, I'm like,
what are you doing with those?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
What do you don't?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Those don't do anything for me without some much Yeah,
give me the action.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
I am action packs.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
So my jargon, save the jargon, Save the jargon for
your mama.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Mm hmmm, that's the that's the famous close.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Yeah, that's it, not save your drama for your mom.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I didn't know if.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
You knew the difference, but so, yeah, I thought those
were interesting and I like them all.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Right, but I have to retake the test to figure
out which one.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Oh maybe I don't know if they updated the test,
we who knows, have to find out. But by the
time we're in like our next five years of this podcast,
they'll probably have like ten.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Oh, so I'm sticking to mine. Acts of service.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
That's your number one. H Like, what's an example of that?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Uh, that's a great question, Mecca.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Acts of service is doing something that either is helpful
to me or something that I mentioned. Like let's say
I really want to try this new restaurant and he
just makes a reservation at the restaurant without telling me,
Or if I've been like saying, Oh, I really want
to get this glass straw for my you know, for
my Stanley cup, and I just never gets it for me.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Like that to me is like acts of service.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Oh I see, yeah, I like that too. Yeah, I'm
very much all of them. Words are actually words without
action is probably my least Yeah, which words used to
be my most interesting?
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Change? Life changes?
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Life changes? We changed the test nearly.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
Yes, Oh, did you find something.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
About like what what the new love languages are?
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Like, what's the action behind the emotional security.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
One does it give so emotional security? It's a feeling
emotionally seen and taken care of? Is how? Is how
harmony describes emotional security? And I'm going to see what
so Love Languages is owned by? Like a guy wrote it?
Like one guy? So he owns it.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
What's his name again?
Speaker 5 (24:25):
His name is doctor Gary Chatman. Yeah, yeah, Gary Chapman.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You know I bought that book for Robbie on our
second date, second date, second after our second date.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Yeah, gave third man. This man is down for.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
A medal and a crown.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Wow, a crown. I have some I have some signs. Yeah, yeah,
So here's signs that emotional security is your love language.
You're not afraid of deep conversation. You ask a lot
of questions to get to the root of situations or feelings.
Friends call you to talk through issues and feelings because
they feel safe with you. You often ask your partner
(25:02):
how they're really feeling about a situation, and you enjoy
the connection that is formed by getting vulnerable with someone else.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I love this one.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Like this, We've really got a shift of Tanya's feelings
about the new love Languages quickly.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
One might be that's high up there for me that one.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Yeah, I like that they add new ones. I kind
of do like that. But I was hoping that like
it would be like there's two new love languages and
it's emotional security brought to you by and just like
that a Max exclusive, Like would you find it? They
could be sponsored?
Speaker 3 (25:35):
No, I love them.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Someone just owns it. He could do that, get that bag,
Gary Chapman.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, he could do anything. He could be like emotional
security brought by food.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
Yeah, you could say the new love language is not
Joe cheese, that's the love language.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
But yesterday Jojo posted a video of her. She was like,
I'm cleaning my makeup brushes and I was like, oh,
I should do that.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
I haven't done that in a long time.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
I used to do it once a week.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
It was like my Friday night, Julia, every Friday night,
because I just did. I was so tired from the
work week. I did not want to go out on Fridays.
I just want to stay home, clean my makeup brushes
and like I shake my legs.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
Yeah I remember that.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
So I simpler times.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Yeah, very it feels like a lifetime ago.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Seriously, I was like, I'm going to do that I
literally put an alarm in my phone for weekly so
that I never experienced that with myself.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Again, I am so weird about hygiene.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
You washing with shampoo down dish soap.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
That's what Jojo said she used.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Okay, it got There was a brush that I literally
thought was tan and it was white. When I cleaned it,
I was disgusted, Like literally, I was like horrified by myself.
So this is your reminder go clean your brushes. It's gross.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
We're just like putting gross face.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
I know it's gross.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Okay, should we do email?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Do we need to take a break and we need
to take a break and come back with emails.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Okay, we'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
All right, we are back and Mark's power went out,
but we have Easton stepping in to read our email
for today.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Well, he boots up his generator. Thank you. I can read.
This is from Alex. I need some advice for an
ongoing argument I've been having with my husband. He works
long hours most days and has a large staff below him,
so he spends a lot of time answering questions and whatnot.
When he comes home, he needs to relax and get
his mind off of work. He's a big sports guy,
and he watches games multiple nights a week that usually
(27:51):
run until the time we go to bed. He also
loves to watch TikTok before bed. Now, my love language
is quality time and I remind him of that, and
he thinks that me laying on the catch next toom
while he watches sports is quality time. Sorry, come on, bro,
but I need I interrupted time with him to just
talk and be with one another. His argument is that
I nag and nag that he works a lot and
(28:13):
then nag when he gets home because he watches sports.
I don't mind him watching sports as long as I
get my quality time fixed by the end of the night.
But sometimes the games will end until ten pm and
then it's time for bed. I feel so frustrated asking
for real quality time and him taking it is me nagging.
I'm also six months pregnant, and I feel as though
the time for us, just as too, is running out.
How do I go about this argument?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
This is so I like understand this because so Haley
is like one of the hardest workers I know, and
she loves work, but when she gets home she has
to like decompress and like there is that time where
I'm just like, wait, I'm like so excited for her
to get home and I just want to hang out,
and she's like I just kind of want to like
zone out and not have to think about anything. But
(28:59):
I think as we've had these discussions, I think she
knows that my one of my big love languages is
quality time. So it's gotten to a point where we'll
like play cards, or we'll play a game or something
to where we're not just like zoned out on a screen,
but we're like able to talk, but we're also doing
something so that she's like able to decompress, but we're
also like chatting and spending quality time catching up on
(29:21):
our days. So maybe there's a way where you can
implement something that's not because maybe he needs something to
focus on that's not just like sitting and staring, because
maybe he gets distracted. So maybe there's something. It sounds
like he likes games, he likes sports, so maybe there's
something where you can sit and do something together that's
like an activity that's not you sitting on the couch
(29:44):
while he's.
Speaker 4 (29:44):
Watching to be that is not quality time.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Yeah, and even.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Sometimes understand that, like sometimes like in a day you
just might not have anything for quality time.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
In a day, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
So I think maybe looking at and it's gonna sound
so like not fun, but like scheduling out quality time
in your week and kind of like looking at like
when does he get home from work? What days are
the big games and he wants to watch because I
like Robbie likes to watch game, yes, and.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
I don't like it.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Good thing for me is I don't mind just like
laying next to him and like cuddling. That's fine for me,
like and I can just like be on my phone,
so it's to me it works. But you guys can
figure out what nights he wants to watch the games,
and then the nights out he's not watching the games,
you guys can do something else, which is quality time.
So maybe you can't fit in every single day, but
you can prioritize it more in a different way.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
I was actually gonna say, schedule it out, even though
sometimes it feels like that feels sad that we have
to schedule out time because I went through that, but
I was like, I think it's important that it's especially
for someone like Haley. She if she has it on
a schedule, She's like gonna make time for it.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
So I think that and I'm the same.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
If Hailey's watching a show that I don't care about,
I'm very content just being on the couch. But I
also feel like I get quality time for her at
other times, so I'm not like yearning for it. But
I think is just having a conversation and being like,
let's schedule some time where we have I'm getting what
I need so that when when you need to decompress,
you don't feel like I'm like begging or nagging for
(31:12):
that attention. But I don't think you asking for what
you need in the relationship is nagging. I don't think
you should feel guilt or like shame for needing what
you need.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
And I get it.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I would if I were pregnant and it was about
to be three people in the house forever, I would
be getting frustrated too doing that time together.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Yeah, and I get mean.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I think it only your quality time gets less and
less as you bring more kids into the picture.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
You know, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Robby and I are time when we have the kids.
We don't have quality time, Yeah, we just don't. But
also it's because we only have them fifty percent of
the time. So we have them, we're really present with them,
and we're with them all the time, and so when
we don't, that's when we get in our quality time.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
Right. But I think you're I think Tanya's advice on
scheduling it out and just making sure that he's getting
what he needs, because it sounds like he might have
a stressful job. But also you deserve to get what
you need to. Yeah, you both do.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
There's two people in the relationships.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Yeah, good luck.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
I think we can all say if we've been.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
There simpler times, you know, making the makeup brushes on
a Friday, not.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
A care in the world.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
It's so funny because there are you know, like when
you're single, there are those things that make you stressed
and sad, and then when you're in a relationship, there
are the other things that make you stressed and sad,
and neither one of you know what I mean, Like,
there's no stress or there's not there's not no stress
or sadness on either end.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Yeah, I mean different.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
It's it's the grass is greener everywhere, Yeah, you know,
but where you are you're always like, oh, I miss
the days of shaving my legs and cleaning my brushes.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
But those days you were like, I just want to
be in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, I just want to like light next to somebody
in bed, Like it's all my hairy legs my Friday nights.
I just wanted to Yeah, clean my makeup brushes with
someone there. Yeah, eat food, shave my legs and get
in back.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Yeah yeah, And now I have that, Yeah, with a
lot more on the plate, a lot more at it
on the plane.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
We have a Thursday episode with Rachel Platten, who we
ran into at the Angel City game.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yes, at our big soccer game, and she.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Wanted to come on the podcast and we were like, please,
we would love to have you on the podcast.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
She wanted to share her story with postpartum, kind of
for the first time.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I think she said, so, yeah, I'm very excited about that.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Upscrubbers are not judgmental and a very safe space.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
So yeah, come on over, come on over. So that's this.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Yeah, in case you're wondering who Rachel Platten is, like.
Speaker 5 (33:45):
A small mode I get so I can't play too
much because we'll get sued, but thanks Rachel.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Yeah, I got chills.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
We play thirty seconds.
Speaker 5 (33:58):
I think thirty seconds is which thirty seconds do you want?
That's the question.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
This is my fight.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Ye prove all right song? Not that was no starting
right now. I'll be strong happy my fight song.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
And I don't really care nobody believe.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Because I still got a lot of fire left in me. Wait,
that was like thirty seconds.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
I don't know. But if you're if you work for
Rachel's record label, that you didn't hear that.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Wait, I just had an idea. What we have two minutes? Yeah,
can we get an update on your Uh?
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Yeah, I thought you're talking off the air. That guy's
a trigger trigger Dickery Rocks.
Speaker 7 (34:53):
It's tricky, caught me off.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
We just the people want to know. Has there been
a second date? There has a secon Can date?
Speaker 3 (35:00):
And you went to San Diego, right, Yeah, I.
Speaker 7 (35:02):
Went to see him San Diego. We went to the
Padres game.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
You love a sporting event.
Speaker 7 (35:07):
I know, we always we really like to go to
sporting games. But it was great, it was good. I
did not get a chance to look at the feet,
In case you were wondering, I was too scared to love,
but but I asked.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
I was like that you felt the feet right, and
she's like, no, I felt that.
Speaker 7 (35:23):
I did feel the feet and they felt yeah, like
they don't feel rough or gross.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
So I guess that's a good sign.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
At suld Tell, I think.
Speaker 7 (35:36):
Of the long nails poked my leg. I would have
run out the door so quickly. I would have like
left my bags in his place.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Wouldn't have looked.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Bad A long nail is probably that.
Speaker 7 (35:50):
Would have been devastating. Yeah, that would have been really upsetting.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Okay, so are their plans for a third activity, third
sporting event?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
You know what the third thing is.
Speaker 7 (36:00):
We're both really busy, but we're hoping we can see
each other mid June.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Okay, you I know, well, we have things going on.
Is he still showing? Is he still sending songs? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (36:12):
What was the most recent song?
Speaker 7 (36:14):
Oh my god, I'm totally exposing this poor guy.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
Oh yeah, but he didn't listen to the last one
because he's still.
Speaker 7 (36:22):
Oh my god, oh my god, this poor guy. Okay,
it was by and Bye by Camp.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
I didn't know.
Speaker 7 (36:29):
It, so that I liked because I got to listen
to a new song.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Okay, it is what it is?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Are you sending Dermott? Dermott Kennedy songs. Sending new songs back, I'm.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
Right, you think you'd get the hint.
Speaker 7 (36:44):
Well, this one I had more of a response. I
was like, Ooh, a new song. Thanks to the songs,
I would be inclined to just be like, oh, that
sounds great.
Speaker 4 (36:53):
Yeah, I love listening. I would be so excited warming.
Speaker 7 (36:56):
Up to the act of sending songs.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
I would be analyzing the lyrics.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 7 (37:03):
See, I'm trying not to get ahead of myself because
if the lyrics are really cute, then I might start
thinking this is more than it is. So I'm just trying.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
To But what if it is more than it is?
Speaker 5 (37:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
Dear By, no, don't read I wait, why can I?
Speaker 7 (37:22):
Oh no, you can read it out loud eastn Now
I'm thinking. Now, I'm thinking about her every day on
my mind a typical way.
Speaker 4 (37:34):
Are you a life force? Thinking about her every day
on my mind? A typical way?
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Oh, my gosh, thinking about you every day.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
It's not just a song. I used to do this
all the time.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Do you know what though?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Like, I would be so if I was listening to
the lyrics and heard that, I would.
Speaker 4 (37:53):
Be so giddy okay, okay, so second day has happened.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
All's well. We're looking for mid June. Mid June update.
Speaker 7 (38:07):
Yeah, I'll report back if it happens mid June, but
I'm not holding my breath because that's like three weeks away.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
You couldn't move on.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
That would be a long time. Well I don't think that,
but that's a long time to hold your breath. So yeah,
we'll see all right. Thank you so much for the update,
and we'll be back on Thursday.
Speaker 6 (38:25):
We love you so much, love you Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tanya Rad
Rebecca Tilley
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