Something Borrowed with Colin Egglesfield

Tanya can’t wait to share an update on Mr. D, and you’ll be shocked to hear where things are going!

Colin Egglesfield, star of “Something Borrowed” and “All My Children” scrubs into the O.R. and shares his inspirational story of overcoming cancer. Plus we address a listeners challenge to the “I Quit” mantra.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing in with Scatilly and Tanya Brad and I Heart
Radio and People's Choice Award winning podcast. Hello everybody, happy Monday.
Oh it is Monday. We're actually in the studio much

(00:21):
later than we normally are. This is like after hours
scrubbing in. You know what. I actually was going to
UM bring a drink for me too. I actually thought
about doing another game part part do, but part do.
But I remembered how everybody pooh pooed my UM call

(00:42):
to action last time. So if it wasn't no, we
didn't pooh pooh it, it was for special occasions, well
like once a month. We don't want to like overdo it,
r two weeks, bi weekly. Yeah, she's like meet me
in the middle. I'm actually wearing I'm wearing my Maui
shirt that I got in the airport. Came very close

(01:06):
to buying that exact same shirt. About two of them.
They're comfy. I love them. Wait. So if I would
have suggested that you guys would have played Truth or
Drink again, yeah, I mean yeah, I would have done.
I wouldn't have been like, no, we're not doing that.
But I wasn't. I was just planning on bringing wine
to like hang out. Yeah, yeah, I didn't need the interrogation. Um,

(01:31):
but I'm on the same wavelength. Yeah, how was your
what what's new? What's new in your life? Well, we've
been hanging out a lot together, which I really am
enjoying a lot of We have been really fun. Well
I can't even say, like, I can't even try and
be genuine about comments like that because everyone laughs around me.

(01:52):
So sad I am having fun, You're like one of
my best friends. No, I know it's true, and I
do have to say, um, have been very Uh what's
the word like down? You're like hashtag down, I'm hashtag
I quit your hashtag down? And I'm so, what does
hashtag down mean? You're like down for down to do stuff? Yeah,

(02:15):
it was like TF, but like d t HF down
to half fun, down to have fun. Yeah. Um, well yeah,
you know, I'm just trying to get on the mantra
of just hashtag, just lift, just live. I've also been
it's really weird, but I've regressed to like teenage years
of staying up so late and then sleeping so late,

(02:37):
so I'm like up at night. So if any time
you're like, let's go do something at night. I'm down
right now in a phase like college student. It's so weird.
Like last night, I was up till well, I was
up till four thirty this morning, and I didn't even
understand how she does that. I try. I almost got

(02:59):
to the point where I was, I'm going to take
at vilpm or something. But I don't really like taking
stuff unnecessarily. But I was desperate because I was reading,
I watched TV. I tried everything. It wasn't like I
was just on my phone. I was on my phone,
but I was like trying. I tried to shut my
mind off a few times, and nothing works. I remember
I was going to work one day and I was
texting you and you're like, I'm still up for the night.

(03:21):
And by the way, okay, well that could be at
like three thirty sometimes, you know, it was like six something.
I was like this, those are really dark. Those are
bad ones. When it goes past four. It's really just
not And the problem with me is like we got
back for a Saturday night. We got back at like
one something, so I didn't go to sleep until to something,
and my body clock just wakes up early, so I'm

(03:43):
like up at seven thirty eight, like being like no
matter what, So it's really not it does not behoove
me to stay out late. Yeah, we well, we went
to the Children's Hospital prom, which is always just like
the cutest and best time ever. Shout out to Kara.
She's a childlike specialist at Children's Hospital Orange County and

(04:06):
she is an angel on this earth. Honestly, she is
not even human like I'm obsessed with her. She it
really is an angel. She So the theme was um
wasn't There's No Place Like Home or like a Wizard
of Oz theme that was my senior prom or one
of my prom themes as well. Also really brought you back.

(04:29):
It brought me back, but also it was so much
better than my problem, Like it was just way more
like the decoration but you could just tell like they
just put so much heart into it. Yeah, it was
really fun. It was really fun. So it's always a
highlight bestie activity, it really is. And Paulina was with
us um and then we came back to l A

(04:52):
and Tanya had been invited by one of her um
guy friends Bow to come to his birthday party. So
we got back at like ten thirty and I had
driven down to Orange County and we get back and
uh got to my house because everyone's cars were there.
I was like, are you sure you still want to go?
Like I'm home, so just let me know. I was like, Yes,

(05:16):
We're going out. We're gonna celebrate Bo's birthday. It's gonna
be all our friends, gonna be so cute. Yeah, and
so um we went. We had some sake, which by
the way, is my new favorite drunk. We didn't get drunk.
We didn't drink enough, is the problem. We were like
chugging it before, trying to get like a nice little

(05:37):
buzz before we go to this party. And I've I've
never felt Oh. We stopped at Raising Canes after the
chalk prompt, and so I think kind of like nothing
could touch me because I was like absorbing it all
because of all the carbs I can sue, but I
didn't have those. I don't know, and I was not
drunk at all, But I just don't think we had enough.

(05:58):
We drank the whole bottle. It's like a personal bottle,
like it's like for for one for a san person.
Did you have a hot tim Yeah, yeah it was.
But anyways, we I was like waiting for it to Hey,
we get the uber, just waiting nothing, nothing, nada na.

(06:20):
We get to the place and there's three parties going on.
It was madness. You could not You were like having
to physically move people to walk through. It was one
thousand degrees who was still in my chalk prom outfit?

(06:44):
But you know what, we did it. We made it
still so I've never been more sober an event where
you need to be a little drunk. Yeah, I could
have just used a little bit of a little buzz
but whatever, Um, I'm trying to think of else happened
that night. That was pretty much it. We booked our
trip for Ashley and Jared's wedding, we did. We booked

(07:06):
our hotel, got to book our flight. But that's exciting,
very exciting, very happy for those two No one, I
mean they are m F EO meant for each other.
Is this like a new thing you're doing with like
the words shortening the words? It could be for this
podcast then too Already I'm going to keep it going,

(07:27):
I guess all right, um, but yeah, so that's all
that's really the Those are the highlights of my weekend highlights.
It feels weird not having Mark here. Yeah, there's we
left his chair empty, though there's a presence of him there.
I didn't sit in his chair. I appreciate that, you know, well,

(07:49):
you you' often like off work or like not having
your typical schedule, so you've had a more lax um
schedule and you've been kind of I feel like you
really got It's been nice. It's nice to just kind
of like take a beat. And I don't know, I

(08:09):
guess like I don't realize how much my day is
so NonStop until it's like this, you know what I mean,
it's actually kind of crazy. Yeah, like during the week
when you're like on your normal routine, I know what
you're in. The story is going to look like totally.
I know like how it's gonna play out. I'm gonna
get a song of today, I'm gonna get a workout
video of you dancing and singing, and I'm going to

(08:32):
get something from like the work environment, or like you
opening a box being like this is so kidd or
you at an event or getting your makeup. Yeah. Um
so oh, but I do to say, um, a couple
of things happened. I feel like I finally um, put
a button on the Mr D thing like goodbye, it's

(08:56):
done songsty Um. I just kind of felt like at
this like stage of my life, I'm not playing games.
It is you know what I mean. I am a
woman hear me roar and if you don't want to
like like no, so I felt like I was handing
out a discount. Did we talk about um our night

(09:17):
out when we after we did our photo shoot and
everything together, do we really talk about that? No? No,
Well we had a photo shoot for something, a project
I have coming out in the fall, and then Tany goes, um, Yeah.
She comes up to me as I'm sitting in the
makeup chair and she goes, hey, I feel like I
need to go out tonight because my hair is done,
my makeup is done, I'm feeling good. So I'm gonna

(09:41):
call who was it? D D? Yeah? And there was
another past gentleman that I will he will remain nameless,
remain nameless. Yeah, And I was like, that is not quitting,
that's the opposite of I quit. She was like no,
like I just don't care, And I'm like, but you

(10:02):
do care, like you will care if if you go
out with especially one of these guys, and it doesn't
go anywhere you'll care. I think that, I think for
me because Mark was like, why did you reach out
to him after like basically he goes to do if
you didn't want to see him again? And I was like,

(10:22):
because I'm I'm an adult and I'm not going to
let something just go being ghosted, do you know what
I mean? Like, that's just so not me. I've never
been that person. And it's so funny because I feel
like so many people that date nowadays, it's like, oh
we just like never spoke again and just likena like no,
like you talk about it. And then obviously there was

(10:43):
like a miscommunication, you know. But I was like, I'm
not just gonna let this go like that. So now
I feel like I have peace of mind that it
is what it is, and he's just like not the
right guy for me. Was there anything that made you
put an official button on it because you face we
talked a yes time him or he faced time to
you or something. Yeah. Um, I think I just kind

(11:03):
of realized I was like handing him a coupon. You know,
you're giving out this David discounting, you know what, I
don't give out discounts. Oh, high five, We're gonna high
five over that. I feel like I'm giving you a
discount consider. I just can't revoked. You can go to

(11:24):
another story. I just felt so it just felt very
um like not intentionally dating, you know what I mean.
And that's not where I'm at right now. I'm not
just dating to date like I'm intentionally dating. And if
you don't, if you're not going to step up to
the plate, then well that's why I was confused about
you being like I'm just going to text him because

(11:45):
like I quit and I'm like, no, that's not what
you're doing. Like cute. Neither of these guys or your guy,
so why would you even open that door again? So anyways,
I committed myself to going out that night after a
long day. That was really cute though. It was really cute.
I don't even remember where we were. Went a little hardware. Yeah,

(12:07):
yeah that was cute. Yeah, yeah it was. It was
nice to go out and have a drink and then
go home and go to sleep. The vibe at Laurel
Hardware is I love a patio with twinkle lights. Yeah,
it's really clear for that place pops off. It's really
cute to take Alice in there for a day night. Yeah,

(12:28):
but just make sure it's in the patio. Okay, yeah, yeah,
the twinkle lights. Um what did you and uh what
did you do this last week? Eastern update us? Oh
my goodness, people always want to hear more from me,
so um I uh, We've been doing a lot of
like very minor home stuff. Um we uh we redid

(12:49):
the boards in our kitchen. This is terribly exciting. Uh.
Um what else did we do? Um? I have been
off work, which has been nice for the last like
you know week er too. So uh, I've been around
the house, pix in pixing things, playing with the dog.
We went to Disneyland a bunch. Um didn't go out
of town or anything. But um, I think it's something exciting.

(13:14):
I'm sorry. Oh. I feel like people are always just
like wanting to know about you in your life, and
same with Mark, Like I feel like people are always like,
I want to know more about Eastern Oh my gosh.
When markets back, I need we need to go into
a full detail about his Monday through Friday meal meal plans,
because every day of the week has like an assignment
of like what it's like taco Tuesday and like pizza Wednesday.

(13:37):
I'm not really sure what it is, but every single
night of the week is like a certain it's always been.
It's always been that way. It's the cutest thing. Like
I'm kind of very jealous of it because we spent
a lot of the week going just like wandering a
waste land trying to think of what to do. And
Market was like, hey, Wednesday, I'm having spaghetti. Like this
is happening. Yeah, you and Mark are similar, huh, Like
routine loves a good routine, love a good routine. Interesting

(14:01):
I do. It's funny because I feel as though having
some sort of structure to my day makes me more productive. Yeah. Absolutely,
I could never have your schedule. I would literally be
oh yeah. I mean, even as laid back as I am,
and how much I love to just like hanging and chill,
I even get like stir crazy where I'm like, like

(14:23):
I get excited when because a lot of the times
what I do I do at my house. You know,
it's like social media stuff, so it's it's time consuming,
but it's done at my house. Whereas and I'm not
one of those people who's like I'm just gonna go
on a walk to get some fresh air. I'm like, nah,
but I don't want to leave the house, not even else.

(14:44):
Oh my gosh, I could not, could not. I know
we're different that way. Um. So we have a very
exciting guest today, a very handsome guest. His name is
Colin Egglesfield. I know him well from Something Borrowed. I
love it. It's such a good movie. But anyways, he

(15:05):
is going to be here talking about his new book. Um,
and then we're going to answer some of our listener questions.
But first we're going to talk about quip. That's right.
First of all, I would like to say I'm the
worst packer in the history of the world. It's very true.
I don't know if you saw our Instagram stories. We

(15:26):
went to Hawaii for forty eight hours. I packed a
carry on. Becca packed spare bedroom which I just unpacked
last night, which I unpacked the day we got back
from Hawaii. Two types of people in this world. Well, Um,
packing your toiletrees somehow is a very delicate game of
stacking and maneuvering. It is like a little game of Tetris,

(15:49):
trying to get everything you possibly can in there. I
really this is me um. I will say packing toiletries
is always a little a little bit of a game
of tetris, trying to get every thing in the right spot,
trying to get things to you like, feel like you
need things that you've never used before, and you try
to fit them in their chaotic But Quip is super

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(16:54):
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(17:17):
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(17:44):
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(18:07):
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(18:50):
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(19:13):
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(19:37):
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don't forget to text Becca. Um. We have a very
special guest in the o R today. We have Colin Egglesfield.
I know him well, you look at him. Thank you.

(19:58):
I got I got excited about more of the intro.
I know you from one of my favorite movies, Something
By What a great movie, right, I think you just
played on like twenty times this past weekend. Yeah, that
is so funny. It really did. But I agree. I'm
with back on this one. That was a fantastic movie.

(20:20):
It's one of those movies for me where when it
does come on TV. I sit and watch the whole
way through, even though I'm like, I'm not really a
huge crier in movies in general, so let me because
there's a lot of people who have different opinions on
my character in terms of I was engaged to Kate

(20:41):
Hudson's character, but I'm in love with Jenny Goodwin's careacter.
And some people think, all right, true love is what
it is and that's what it should be. Others are like,
you are the biggest d bag for leaving your fiance
to go for another woman, So what did what's your
take on it? Okay, Well mine might be a little
different because I was a fan of the books. So

(21:04):
I was a little perturbed that they didn't continue to
make more of the movies because it shows the narrative
from everybody's perspective, which I feel like would open people's
eyes up a little bit more because you see the
story from everybody, like from every angle, and then you're
more sympathetic to everybody involved, like you're not really mad
at anybody. That's how I left. I left like just

(21:26):
loving love. Yeah, So I was just it irked my
pickle a little bit that we did not get more
follow up movies because the books were fantastic and I
feel like we could have done more justice. You know. Yeah,
that's the unfortunate thing of the whole evolution of the
way Hollywood has, Uh what's it what it's turned into
with regard to streaming and Netflix and Hulu, where no

(21:49):
one really goes to movies anymore. You know, I think
the the demographic that goes to movies is seventeen year
old boys is the largest demographic of people that actually
go to movies. So, you know, everything is now shifting
to TV. And unfortunately something borrowed um was at the
tail end of the whole transitioning into TV, so everyone

(22:13):
was like, you gotta make something blue, and unfortunately the
box office numbers just don't support those kinds of movies anymore.
It's a shame. So interesting that's to bring Netflix. This
is my pitch because I went, I Don't'm not going
to see the movie because it was a fantastic movie.
But I went to the movies like two weeks ago

(22:33):
and it was opening weekend and it was a fantastic movie,
and the theater was empty. It's sad. What is happening?
Like every like this movie is so good. Yeah, it
really liked me. Yeah it made me sad. Well. So
if we're still talking about in my opinion on Um,
your character was that I think if it were me

(22:56):
in this situation where you were my fiance or like
one of my really good friends fiance, he is the
worst human. We hate him, I would not have any sympathy. However,
if I'm the person who fell in Like if I'm
you and I fell in love with someone and it
was just just this like instant connection that I couldn't

(23:16):
move on from. What wouldn't you? You wouldn't want to
be with someone who didn't want to be with you? Rightly,
It's almost as if, like you know what, you're giving
me a gift in telling me that this is not
how I really feel. I kind of feel like I
was because my character Deck was kind of um. He
went after Darky because she fit the mold of what

(23:36):
he thought he was supposed to be. And as we
see through the film, uh, he kind of starts to
recognize what his true feeling is. And that's what I
talked about in my my book Agile Largist, finding out
what that true, what your true self is, getting connected
with not only you know your part, but also your
gut because I think a lot of the times, especially

(23:57):
growing up in the Midwest where I come for UM,
it's you kind of just go to school, you follow
the road to go to college, you get the job,
you get married, you have the kids, and then that's
just what you do. UM. But for me, it never
I never really felt like it was something that uh
that it was. It was that I was passionate about
I guess if you will. So I studied biology premed

(24:20):
University of Iowa, thinking like, Okay, this is you know,
my dad's a doctor. This kind of feels like this
is the route to go. But I wasn't completely sold
on the idea of going to four more years of
medical school. And randomly I heard on the radio about
this model talent search at the Devonport Holiday and next
Tuesday nights and I was like, and they were like,
you can travel the world and work with supermodels, and

(24:40):
I was like, that sounds it sounds interesting. So I
show up at this thing and it's kind of like
American Idol where you walk in there's two ladies in
front of the desk, and UM. At the time, I
had e er was popular, so George Clooney was the man,
and I had the George Clooney Caesar haircut glasses and
the ladies asked me to take my glasses off and
messed up my hair. And then they invited me to

(25:01):
uh this model convention thing, which I went to in Chicago,
and then a few months later, I'm on runway shows
in Milan, Italy with Georgio ARMANI like personally fitting me
with suits. And then I got to know the Versacci
family and doing runway shows for Versaci and dinners with
Elton John and Donna Tella and Baby Spice, and I
mean my whole world flipped from small town USA to

(25:24):
like the glamor of all this like supermodel stuff. And
then I moved to New York City and I was like, oh,
this will last for a couple of years and then
I'll just go back home and you know, go to
medical school. Um. And I just randomly jumped into an
acting class because I started going on some commercial auditions
and started booking, but I didn't know what I was doing.
So my my acting teacher or my agent was like,

(25:47):
once you jump into an acting class, have you ever
thought about doing that, and I said no, I mean
I I was always shy and introverted growing up. Um,
But once I jumped into an acting class and had
I had now a script with all these amazing words,
and I was like doing scenes with beautiful girls like yourself,
and I was like, this is what I've always been
wanting to say. I just didn't know how to say it.

(26:08):
So acting class was an amazing training ground for me
to just start to learn how to communicate, I mean
really um, and get in touch with what really mattered
to me. And that's why I advise anyone to jump
into an acting class, especially if you're like in business
or in sales, because what I talked about an agile

(26:29):
artist is that we can get so stuck in our
head um about being analytical about things and how to
problem solve, and we just have to you know, work harder,
you know, right, um. And what I talked about is
that if you're not connected with your heart and your
your gut, um, you're just never going to find your

(26:50):
way because you need to be mentally, intellectually, spiritually connected
in order for something to feel right. And if one
of those is off, then there's always going to be
something that kind of is unsettled within you. And that's
why we talk about like if you're with someone and
just didn't feel right and it's like you because I've
dated women and it's like they look beautiful and they've

(27:13):
they fit the bill, but and you're just hoping. You're
just like, why is what's missing? You know? Um? And
so I talked about that in my book in terms
of how to get really connected with what really matters
to you and then once you identify that, how to
overcome the obstacles and the challenges, um, to fulfill on
whatever it is that uh, that you truly want in life?

(27:35):
What was going on? And like I always feel Tanya
always says like, oh, I want to write a book.
I'm going to write a book one day, because she
has a lot of stories about in her dating life
and her career life and everything. Was there a point
at some point in your career or relationship or whatever
where you were like I need to get I need
to write this down. Not necessarily, uh, the idea of

(27:58):
writing a book was never even on my radar because
I just it, sit down and write. I've tried to
write screenplays before, and I'll get into like page thirty
and then I'll just be like, I don't know where
this is going. I don't know where this is going
to end. Um. But I recently moved back to Chicago
last year and uh Ran I was speaking at an

(28:22):
entrepreneurial kind of real estate conference and this book publisher
came up to me afterwards and she was like, you've
got a really interesting story. Have you ever thought about
writing a book? I was like, Hell, no, I don't.
I don't even know the first thing to do. So um,
and often introduce you to my book publisher because she's
really sweet and it sounds like you'd you'd be able
to I'm sure you have like a ton of stories.

(28:47):
It's just one of those things where like I share
so many of my stories on the air and everyone's like,
you need to write these things down. And I'm like,
even if it doesn't publish or go anywhere, like I
want to have a book to share with my kids
someday to be like look at what like their mom did. Truly.
So what my publisher said, she was like, well, look, um,

(29:08):
think about let's do like five to seven chapters. So
think about the biggest five to seven things that have
happened in your life that I have left that mark
on you that you feel like you could flesh out
into a chapter. So I wrote down the seven major
events in my life. UM, one of them being that
model search thing that kind of got me into Europe

(29:29):
and then into the acting thing. And then I talked
about the World Trade Center experience because I lived across
the street from that, and so when I woke up
one morning and I saw people hanging out the tops
of those towers. UM. I'd been in New York for
four years and I've been studying acting, and I thought
about doing it professionally. But I I mean, when you

(29:51):
go to see Top Gun and all these other movies
that you're thinking, like, how the idea of going to Hollywood.
I didn't know anyone out here. I didn't know like
that was. But going to acting class, I just fell
in love with it. So it was I knew that
that's what I wanted to do. I just didn't I
think it was possible until that day on nine eleven,

(30:13):
when those planes hit those towers. My life changed completely
because at at that moment I kind of realized everything
was put into perspective very intensely in the in the
sense that, um, seeing those people trapped up in those
windows and then starting to see them jump, it was horrible.

(30:33):
I mean it was the most horrendous thing anyone could
ever witness. And once the first tower came down, and
I was running down the street and people were screaming,
and it was just I couldn't get back to my
apartment for two weeks. And once I got back in there,
it looked like a bomb had blown up inside my
my apartment. And I mean it was debris and glass
and metal beams. And a National Guard soldier guy said,

(30:56):
you have ten minutes to throw whatever you can throw
into a suitcase and get out of here. And so
I didn't have a home, and I've been thinking about
going out to Hollywood to pursue my dream of being
an actor. Um, and up until that moment, I thought
about those people up in the top of those towers,
like if they had a second chance at life and
there was something that they had thought about doing, like

(31:17):
writing a book or even just telling their wife that
they loved them one last time, I guarantee you they
would have done it. And they wouldn't have listened to
all the negative criticism or the voice in your head
that says, like, who do you think you are? You
know you're nobody. And because we all have that inner
critic that can destroy us imposter syndrome, what it's called

(31:38):
imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome. Okay, the first time I've yeah,
there you go exactly exactly. So in agile Artists, I
talked about how to identify all those negative thoughts, and
I talked about how our brains just evolutionarily are designed
to protect us. Um, they're not designed to encourage us

(31:58):
to get out of our come for its own and
pursue our dreams. So by recognizing that that's just biologically
how our brains work, and it's almost like the matrix
where you kind of have to pull your thoughts outside
of the physical, chemical, hormonal thoughts that your brain just
naturally does and right, And what I did was I

(32:19):
wrote down, Okay, what do I want to accomplish, and
just saying it down there on paper and getting it
out of my head, um, I was then able to say, Okay, look,
there's nothing that's going to stop me now. Because if
I was on the top of those towers, I would
have been like, you know what, please, God, just give
me one more chance. I will do anything. And so
it put things into perspective where I came out here,

(32:42):
UM started booking a few little jobs here and there,
and then three years later I ended up booking a
job on All my Children soap opera where I played
the transplanted, unaboarded fetus of Eric Kane. Yeah, it was.
It was a great three years. UM. For three years.
I was on it for three years, and I was like, wow,

(33:02):
amazing I've been. People are stoked, like yeah, and a
lot of people like what do you what do you
do to a soap opera? Like you try getting on
a soap? You know, like you try just getting any
acting job. It's insane. UM. And I've done the statistics,
like just right right writing the book, I realized I've
gone over about roughly two thousand auditions in my twenty

(33:25):
year acting career. And if you go on my IMDb page,
I have like roughly like forty credits, and you know,
I've worked with Sylvester Sloane, my Boyhood, Idol, and Kate
Hudson and Jennifer Love Hewitt and I got all these
like parties and and people like oh my god, you've
you've made it, you're successful, But the statistics are I'm
successful two of the time. So I faced of the time,

(33:50):
I'm rejected, And so I talked about a natural largist
how how can you overcome all that rejection or how
how do you live with that much rejection and keep
moving forward? And that's why when you go to Starbucks
here in Los angele, Us, you see so many actors
just like a shell of themselves because they're like, I'm horrible,
I didn't get the job, you know, and um, it's
it's tough. Um. And so I talked about how to

(34:12):
reframe rejection and and setbacks into more of an empowering
context to be able to just keep going. And it
really comes down to how hungry are you? What are
you willing to sacrifice? Because to go after anything in life,
you have to sacrifice something. And it's not necessarily how much,

(34:32):
how exciting, or how much you want something, it's how
much you're willing to put up with in order to
get there. And that's what a lot of people don't realize,
Like I want to be an actor, I want to
be so and so well are you willing and are
you uh equipped with the tools to be able to
deal with all the negativity and the setback and the

(34:53):
challenges that are gonna help you be successful. I feel
like people are ready for the yeses, but they're not
prepared for the nose. You know, Like people only see like,
oh my gosh, I'm they see the bright lights and
they're not ready for I mean, you talk to every
actor out there, and they say, the amount of rejection
verse of versus the amount of like the jobs that

(35:17):
I get is shocking. Yeah. So the statistics are there's
about a hundred and sixty thousand Screen Actor Guild members
and at any given point, only five are working and
only three percent are actually doing it consistently. So the
I mean, this is not the best business to get
into if you're looking for long term security, you know.

(35:38):
But for me, it's like when I wake up in
the morning, I like even just going to uh like
working on any of the TV like movies, TV, Like
every morning I would wake up and like, I love this.
I'm nervous and I'm excited, and but I still like
to the stage twenty years later, whenever I book a job,
I'm like, like, it's it's just there, It's in you'll

(36:00):
talk to listen to a lot of just different actors
and um people who are successful in whatever they do.
And they always say, I'm sure you hear this too.
If it doesn't scare you, then it's not worth doing. Yeah,
you know, because what's to your quote. It doesn't challenge you,
it doesn't change you. There you go, there you go.
And like we were talking about earlier, you know, it's

(36:21):
it's so easy to stay in our comfort zone and
be like I could never do that, or but I'm
gonna help you write your book. I appreciate that. Do
you want to tell everyone where they can get the book?
I know it says available on Amazon? Is that Amazon
dot com right now? And ten percent of the proceeds
actually go towards I'm helping build a community center in

(36:42):
the South Side of Chicago. A lot of the schools
in in the South Side have had budgets, uh cuts,
so like athletics and arts and music, these kids just
don't have those type of outlets to be creative. And
there's a guy down in the South Side of Chicago
who started a nonprofit called Art on the Loose where

(37:03):
he teaches kids, um exposes them to careers in art
and creativity, so graphic design and um uh, writing, drawing, painting,
anything creative. And they've been looking for a permanent headquarters
and I identified a building down there. So, like I said,

(37:23):
ten percent of the proceeds of the book go towards
helping establish this community center. And so everyone who buys
a book, you are contributing to the lives of people.
Um And then where can people follow you? On Instagram? Twitter?
On Instagram at Colin Egglesfield. Twitter is at Sea Egglesfield,

(37:44):
not changing it up. I started out with Twitter and
then I when I jumped over to Instagram, I was like, yeah,
I think I should put my full name so exactly.
And then I also we just started uh an agile
artist community Facebook page. So what I talked about in
the book as well is that you can't do things

(38:06):
on your own. And growing up, I always felt like
I'm a guy, I can do you know, I don't
need anyone's help. Um, But when I was diagnosed with cancer,
I realized that I just couldn't get through this on
my own. I knew I needed to get some help
with regards to how to just keep going to my
radiation treatments and how to just get through it all. Um.

(38:29):
Every month I had UH to go to Sloan Cattering
Hospital for my checkups, and it literally felt like I
was a ticking time bomb because I was like, are
they going to find something this time? Because I had cancer. UM.
I was diagnosed with testicular cancer six months after booking
all my children. So I was on my dream job
and you know, I was like my first steady acting

(38:51):
job and six months later, boom. And with testicular cancer,
that's a pretty sensitive personal topics. So I don't want
any wanted to know, you know. And so I I
hit it and had the first surgery and no one
knew about it, and then it UM I went through
radiation treatment. My third week of radiation treatment. UM. For

(39:12):
those of you don't know what that feels like, it's
like you go into the hospital five days a week,
um or to the radiology clinic and they zap you
with nothing touches you. It's like literally for five seconds
on the front, five seconds on the back, and then
you leave in like an hour later. You just feel
like you want to vomit and throw up, and you
have a fever and you just feel sick. And I

(39:34):
was doing that and then going to all my children
and having to do these scenes with my shirt off
and be like, love you excuse me? You know. So
at a certain point my director could tell that there
was something I was and I didn't want him to
think I was like out partying the night before, I
was hung over, and uh, you know, he's like, are
you all right? You don't seem like you're You're so

(39:56):
so good, and I and I just finally I looked
up at him and I was just like in the
very of tears, and I was just like, I can't
hide this anymore. I need to tell you that I'm
going through radiation treatment for cancer. And he's like, are
you crazy? Why why didn't you tell us? And what
I realized is that once you share something, your community

(40:17):
shows up to support you. And they gave me time
off to finish my radiation treatment, and um, and it just, uh,
it made me realize that when you ask for help
as long as yeah, it shows up in some amazing ways.
And that's why I feel like now is the time
to kind of give back and share what I've learned

(40:38):
through all of this, so it helps of helping someone
else's going through it because what helped me get through
my cancer experience too was UM. I read Lance Armstrong's
book about how he got through all of it and
hopefully with you know someone going through the same thing.
Because I do a lot of charity work with St.
Jude's Children's Hospital and Children's Hospital Los Angeles, I do

(40:59):
the Blibu Triathlon every year and the South Beach Triathlon
with St. Jude's Hospital, so I meet a lot of
these kids and families who are going through what I
went through, and knowing that someone else has gone through it, UM,
it just makes all the difference. I talked about a
little segment in my book where I was going to

(41:20):
slow and cattering from my checkups and UM, a year
after my first diagnosis, I was diagnosed a second time,
so I'd have to have a second surgery. And at
that point, you know that happens only five percent of
the time, so I'm in a high risk category. And
so at this point I my world was flipping upside down.

(41:40):
I was like, literally, am I going to die? Um?
And I left Sloane cattering one after my second diagnosis,
And this is one of these miraculous things. This cab
pulls up and I, you know, I hailed him down,
got in the taxi and it was this Russian guy
and he looked at me through the rear view mirror

(42:01):
and he could tell like, I don't know, just maybe
I just had my head down or I wash he goes.
He asked me, you know how, what was doing? And
normally I don't really like to chit chat, but at
this moment, I was just like, not good man. And
he's like, why, What's what's wrong? And I said, I
gotta have another surgery. I He's like, for what I said,

(42:24):
cancer and he's like, I have cancer too, and I
was like really, He's like he asked me what kind?
I said, testicular And then uh, I'll never forget this
because I looked at him through the rear view mirror
and he just had a stoplight. He looked at me
and he just lasered into my eyes and he was

(42:45):
just like, you're gonna be okay. I mean, it was like,
I don't know, an angel or something that was put
in that moment where I needed it. And it's those
little moments that keep you going. And that's why I
wrote this book too, because I want to make sure
that people are going through the same thing. Have that

(43:09):
support because it is scary. It is terrifying. Yeah, and
knowing that your community is there, um makes all the difference. Wow,
that's amazing. Tany is emotional. I am just because I
just know like a lot of people that are going
through that. I'm sure your books going to touch a
lot of people. Yeah, thank you. That's that's why I

(43:34):
wrote it. If you haven't already gotten onto Amazon dot com,
get on there by Agile Artists and ten will go
to what is the charity called Art on the Loose
Arts on the Loose, which is a community center that
they're building in Chicago. Thank you so much for being here.
You're amazing. Thanks for having me. Um. He is so cute,

(43:58):
he is and so nice, so nice. I feel like
I felt like there was there vibes with me. Are
you on glue? No? Do you see what I look
like right now? Gorgeous? I haven't showered, I haven't slept,
I've never Thank you so much. It's very don't feel

(44:22):
out at all. I remember, okay, but you can still
feel things. He was. I really was taken aback by
how amazing he is. Yeah, he's so he's like such
a normal good like good guy looking, good guy for sure.
Wow good, Yeah, we're good. He got you emotional there. Yeah,

(44:47):
well you know I have like I think I just
have such a soft spot with cancer that I can't
even like. People that go through are really just a
different human. Oh yeah, a different kind of human. Yeah,
it's it's such a powerful testimony. So yeah, um, he's awesome.

(45:11):
Would I would suggest maybe giving him a follow on Instagram? Okay,
I will do Okay, I will do that, but in
a quick way. Yeah, like I follow you, but I
follow you because you are great to have. You're great here. Yeah,
switching gears, let's take a quick break. When you're selling
online and getting your orders out can be like a

(45:33):
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(46:16):
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l A to wait in lines, not to mention sitting
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so we got First of all, I asked the Facebook
group for some questions UM that they wanted answered. And

(47:19):
then we had an email that I wanted to read
because I thought it was interesting, UM Eastern Would you
like to to be the email reader? Yes? I would?
All right, here we go. This is from Jill. I'm sorry, Tanya,
but I can't support your new I quit mantra. I've

(47:41):
seen too many people taking on the mindset of I'll
find it the moment I stopped looking, and five years,
ten years later, they wonder why Sometimes the I quit
attitude works. But is that the exception or the rule?
For me? Finding my person took a lot of work.
I treated it like a second job, and it wasn't
always fun. But like anything you really want, I was
committed to giving the process of time and effort necessary.

(48:01):
So finding your person is something you truly want, Tanya.
Please don't quit, Jill, I like want to answer this.
I want to respond to this for you go with
like your representative. But what do you think I would say,
because I think even you're a little hazy on what

(48:23):
I quit means, like no, no, no, no, you were
a little because you say things that contradict themselves like
you do and say things that contradict the I quit attitude.
No I quit means like I quit, yes, treating it

(48:43):
like a second job, which I feel like I was doing.
I quit doesn't mean I'm taking myself out of the game,
like I'm not right. I think a lot of people
think that it meant you were taking yourself out of
the game saying and I'm not gonna be I'm not
gonna say no, I'm not gonna I'm open to the
possibility lit tease, but not attached to but not attached
to the outcome. So like basically like if someone was like, oh,

(49:04):
I want to set you up with somebody tomorrow, I'd
be like, okay, cool. But I'm not actively pursuing people
setting me up and like you know what I mean.
It's just I'm taking a step back and kind of
letting it happen. But I'm still like living my life.
Like we know, Beck and I have been going out,
We've been going to places that we've never been before
and being more social and just putting ourselves out there.
But I'm not. So I'm not quitting in terms of

(49:27):
like I'm saying no to any guy that asks me out.
I'm just quitting being so persistent. I think it's more
like there's been a time recently, I mean up until
this point where she have this life altering moment tiphany,
if you piphany, if you will um that like we

(49:51):
would be around anyone we met. It was like do
you have friends? Do you have any single friends? Right?
Or like if we met like a cool girl, I'd like,
do you have a brother brother? I mean the way
she started talking to Mark Wahlberg was asking about his son,
Like that really sums it up. So I think it
was like more that mentality of like, I'm not putting
so much effort into making this happen on my own.

(50:15):
If it comes to me, I will accept it, but
I'm not going to like seek it out, which leads
me to this like almost more justification of my I
quit epiphany. My pastor said something the other day that
really struck me, and it was basically about forcing things.
If you're forcing something, and how we hope people force relationships,

(50:38):
people force jobs, like I'm not getting the promotion until
they like force like they forced themselves into a new job,
and you forcing things is not living in faith truly,
and it's like God's been so faithful in my life,
and like he has been so faithful to me in
every aspect. Why am I questioning him in this? And

(50:59):
that's what I've been doing. I've enforcing all these things
and I'm just I'm just letting my faith take over.
Proud of you, thank you. But yeah, I think that
I think she thought that you were saying I quit
to everything, Jill, just to let you know, Tony has
not actually quit fully. She's right, I'm not like songs, man, No, no,

(51:19):
you are songs, but you're okay with waiting until the
right one shows up. Yeah, And the possibility of saying
yes to what comes to you rather than being like
desperately seeking it out correct like I mean she says,
treating it like a second job. I think that's a
little With all due respect, Jill, I think it's a
little aggressive. Back back in back in my dating days,

(51:43):
when I was a young nap on the prowl um
I found that. Um I was when I was asking
a lot of girls on dates. A lot of them
would say no or or we got once, they wouldn't
want to go out again. And I was getting really
fresh trade, and I was like, oh, I'm not trying
hard enough. And then I realized once I took some

(52:03):
steps back, and I started like not not so much
like focusing on myself, but like trying new things that
I was interested in, like going to new places or
doing new things like you know, spending time at the
gym or like going out to do things. Uh. I
found that you put make yourself open to meeting new
people and put new things entering your life, and then

(52:24):
these things kind of materialized. And I know, I know
a lot of people do that and then nothing happens.
But I I found that, like you were saying, there's
an old phrase that I can't say on the air,
but if you have to, it's like a fart. If
you have to force it, it's probably poop. Yeah it's
really gross, but but it's true. I think it's very

(52:47):
like it really paints the picture of Yeah, it's very crash,
but but I don't know that. The way I look
at it is, um, I like I quit I look
a lot. Yeah I do too. I'm not. I'm not
living in a place of fear anymore. I just don't
stepping into a d I love it too, and I
think it's amazing and I think it's exactly what you
needed to hear and for it to happen. I just
feel like it wasn't exactly clear when you said I quit.

(53:10):
I think a lot of people were like, well, I
quit do and everyone's just sitting at home and saying
no to dates and not doing things because they're like,
well done, you're quite so I quit. So just to
clear it up, that's what I quit. Can you get
us out on a date? I would love for you
to go, but just don't put so much pressure on it. Yeah.
When you first started the I quit stuff, I really
thought it was like I am giving up and that

(53:31):
that is it, Like I'm done, And it took me
a while to understand like, oh no, it's not. It's
not just like I'm giving up on everything. I was
having like respond to the Facebook group like no, no, no,
she's fine. W She's not giving up forever. She's not
in that headspace. But um, yeah, I think it's great.

(53:51):
Speaking of I had a very emotional moment with my
friend Jesse. I don't even know when that was last
week and we were just talking about um, I don't
know if it's after I took the indiogram test. I
think a lot makes sense about my personality type and
being a nine. And I feel like I've always been

(54:11):
very I like want everyone to be to get along.
I don't want there to be any friction. I hate conflict,
I hate confrontation. I want everyone to be proud of me.
We talked about this, like making like we were talking
about this with our friend Paulina and we were just saying, like,
it's a lot when you are this personality type and

(54:31):
you want you want everyone to be pleased with you,
It's like a lot of pressure and it's all me,
Like I've put it all on myself. But um, I
was talking to my friend Jesse and she was just
asking about like how I was doing, how my relationship
with God was, and I I cried so much that day.
I think, just like like talking about it. I guess

(54:55):
I haven't talked about it in a long time. And um,
she was like, she said, she goes, you know how
Tanya like you don't even have to know her and
you can feel there's something about her that like radiates
out of her. And I was like, yeah, I was
like I know exactly what you're talking about and she
was like, she was like, I want you to feel

(55:17):
like I want that's how I feel about you. But
I feel like you've put everything into like your relationship
and your friendships, and like you have like wanted everyone
else to shine and you have just like sat down
and I was like, I think I have, but I
think it's more than like what's my purpose? Like what
am I doing? And we talked about it a little bit,

(55:37):
like You're like, I think you found your purpose, like
you're living your purpose, but I think I in my head,
I'm like, am I doing enough? Like with what I've
been given? I just think that so and it's not
just you. I think so many people feel like they
had like a purpose in life is just this grandiose thing,
when in reality, like everybody, your purpose could be something

(56:00):
even so minute. You know, it could just be being
that person that's always smiling and happy and like for you,
I think the way that you live your life and
the people that are in your life, you are so
special and like your heart is so generous and loving
and kind, and I don't think you realize it because
it just comes naturally to you, if that makes sense,

(56:21):
But because you don't see it from an outside perspective,
but the way that you treat people and the way
that that you are to the people in your life
is so like loving and and it hurts me that
you don't see that about yourself, you know, and I
think that is your purpose. Don't cry, but it's it's
so beautiful. It's such a beautiful trait, and you don't

(56:42):
see it about yourself. And that's what kills me, because
you think, like, my purpose needs to be this, like
I need to be I don't even know who the
Dolly Llama or something. And I think you're putting so
much pressure on yourself to have this this gigantic thing
when it's like, you have such a beautiful purpose, but
you don't. I don't think like there's so many little
things that you do for the people that you love

(57:04):
that I don't even think you realize is so out
of the ordinary. I don't think you realize it because
it's just a second nature to you. I remember coming
off The Bachelor and um, I tweeted something or said
something that people like didn't like or they responded to
in like a negative way, and I was like freaking
out about it and one of the producers. I texted

(57:25):
him about it, and he was like, you don't have
to be perfect, Like no one wants that, Like you
don't you're putting all this like pressure on yourself. And
I did it with the whole virginity thing, like it
became my identity. And I remember like having this moment
of being like, have I let everyone down? Because that's

(57:46):
not my like title anymore. And it was such a
like sad moment of being like have I not like
have I made this like promise that was supposed to
be like to myself and to God about what other
people think about me, like strangers. And it was like
this really crazy moment for me to be like, Wow,

(58:06):
I've put this price. I've made this my identity just
because I wanted people to like approve of me or
like me. And I think I've done it my whole life.
And it's so sad because it's like I haven't been
able to just like live yeah hashtag just live No,
But it's true. Yeah, Like I think, and You've said
this so many times about like your purpose and I'm like, Bucca,

(58:30):
you are literally living in your purpose right now. But
I always feel like much and I don't think that
you realize what you You don't realize the way that
you treat people is so special. I guess I just
always I mean, I guess I never feel want to
feel like complacent with what my impact is, you know.

(58:52):
I always want to feel like, oh I can do more,
I can be you know, I can I can do
more with what I have, which I think is healthy.
But I have to really I don't. I don't want
to live in a place of being like like just
because I have it, like you said, because I haven't
found this grand thing that I'm not doing anything. So anyways,

(59:13):
I got more emotional than I expected, but really pulled
it together. But I think it's something that a lot
of you know, a lot of people. I think a
lot of people live their lives to be um not
not like people pleasing, but they live their lives for
other people and they aren't. They don't let themselves just

(59:35):
be themselves. And I think it's it's like sad and
it's I don't think you're the only person dealing with
I think a lot of people deal with that. I
always think I need a little bit on the other side,
you know what I mean, Like I need to reel
it in just a tad because I don't know how to.
I'm just so overly open about my life that I

(59:56):
think that I could maybe take it down, but I
don't know how because I'm just like, well, it's just you,
it's just me, and I think and part part of
me struggles because I think this is it's like, you know,
if you're um, like you form a habit and it
takes a while to like break that habit. And this
has been my whole life feeling this way. So it's

(01:00:16):
not like all the sudden one day I can just
think I don't care anymore. I'm gonna, like, you know,
not worry so much about pleasing other people. But maybe
it doesn't. I actually would be interested to see what,
like a therapist says about this, because you were saying
that you were you were the golden child, like you
were the golden child in your family, and I was

(01:00:37):
the opposite of the golden child, do you know what
I mean? Like I didn't really do own school. I
was always crazy and I like loud and obnoxious, like
a little bit of the left of center, you know,
So I never felt that pressure to be like I've
never had that pressure because I just never did. So
I'm wondering if it kind of goes yeah, I probably

(01:00:59):
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promo code baca. Um. We're winding down today's episode, but
we had some questions, Like I said that we wanted
to answer. What did you find? One? Did I listen?

(01:03:32):
Have you been listening? Um? I screenshot at a few
this one. I'm going to ask you which. I only
bring this up because I feel like a lot of
our listeners are huge Bachelor fans. Among all the Bachelor
World contestants, who would you consider dating even if it

(01:03:53):
were completely unlikely? Are you gonna answer what you're birth
gonna answer? I think of all the oh, like just
all the land from from seasons. If I had to
pick somebody, who would I date? Yeah, even if he's married, Yeah,
it could be totally unlikely. Jason Mesnick, Oh wow, Yeah,

(01:04:17):
you're very solid dude, married Molly, great family. I just
feel like he's a solid dude. Great answer, Thank you
so much. Great answer. Mine would be I didn't watch
it before I was on it, so I don't know
a lot of Like I only know like who I

(01:04:37):
know from when I was on it. I'm just trying
to I'm going through my rolodex those called. I mean,
I love Ben Higgins. I just think he's like the
best guy. But I did he dumped me, like you know,
it didn't work out. But it just like you anytime
any one of you says each other's name, they're like
that got bad guy. I know, but I think it's

(01:04:59):
just like here it comes. He's very happy to relationship.
I'm very happy to relationship. But I think out of
all the guys that I know from the show, I
just I love him as a person. Um. I just
thought this would be fun to answer because this is
like a fun question. I'm going on a first date tomorrow.
What are your tips for making first date's not super awkward?

(01:05:21):
Because I seem to be the pro at awkward first dates,
so exciting tips to not make it awkward? Well, I
don't like awkward silence? So do you just like talk
through all of it? If I'm on a bad date
and the guy doesn't know how to communicate, it basically
turns into an interview where I'm just interviewing him, like

(01:05:42):
where are you from? Do you have brothers and sisters?
What did you know where when you grew up? What
was your favorite thing to watch on TV? Where do
you to college? Were you in a fraternity? Did you graduate?
Would you graduate in? Oh? What's your job? Tell me
about your job? What do you do Monday through Friday?
What do you do on the weekend? I mean I
could keep going Okay, Um, I feel like that's semi
good advice, like maybe you know, if if he's not

(01:06:03):
a good communicator and not asking questions, you step up.
But also like if it's that bad and that awkward
and you're having to take control, I would be like,
all right, thanks for your time. Wait, what's her name?
Do you have her name? Um? Her name is, well,
do we want to Her name's Ari l Ari L.
I just have to tell you you have to go

(01:06:25):
into it with a positive attitude because all it takes
is one good date and he could be the rest
of your life. It's so like he could be terrible
and if it's awkward, then you just have to have
to see you again. Like whatever, it's one night and
you lose, you lose whatever, But it could be amazing
and this could be the start of something really great.
So like go into it thinking like this could be

(01:06:46):
the start of something, and if it's not, whatever, you're
back to where you were today. And if it is,
then that's so exciting. Okay, let's let's let's give her
some first ake questions that aren't like where what did
you watch on be in high school? But something like
that are like good, like four good questions that if
she gets in a right it's a good conversation starter.

(01:07:08):
I like to know people's relationship with relationships with their family.
I feel like that tells a lot. But what if
it's like a sensitive topic, if someone doesn't have a
good relationship, that might not be like a first aid combo. Yeah,
I think if people have bad you know, or if
like maybe they've lost their parents or something, that's sometimes
I always go there on um. I also like to

(01:07:29):
find out their birthday, just to like you could do
like the well, no, you could do like the like
if you're into the zodiac thing. It's always a funny
because even if you're not, it's still funny if they
say like what they are and you're like, well, I
don't know anything about that, or like well you can
see what he orders to drink. I always find like
dates like to talk about the liquor that they drink. Weirdly,

(01:07:52):
guys are kind of into liquors that they order beer
or like, I don't know. Yeah, but what do you
think do you think asking about work on a first
date is weird or like asking what they do or
what they're Okay, I think that's a good one. It's
a big part of some people's lives. Yeah, I think
that's a that's fair. Ask if they have pets. Yeah,

(01:08:14):
I just like to see how people live their lives,
you know, just to see if we're like compatible. Even well,
you know, it sounds like you get everything about them
on the first day. You know. I don't leave most
stones unturned after a first date, to be honest, because
it's like then you decide if you want to don't
don't talk about your exes or any like past no ton, Yeah,

(01:08:36):
that's like one oh one. You're not supposed to do it. Yeah,
all right, I mean I don't go into detail for sure,
not detail. But yeah, let let him bring that up
if he wants. I would not go into that. If
you have any conspiracy theories, I would keep those or
you could also um make it light and just be like, oh,

(01:08:57):
have you heard about the Taylor Swift Scooter bron drama?
You know, like bringing into pop culture. Yeah, pop culture
is always good, but a guy probably is not like
thrilled to talk about to her stuff. Maybe asked about
if you're into sports, Like, if he's into sports, that
could be a good one. Um, like any like TV
shows that you've really liked that you feel like would

(01:09:18):
be something that he could be into. WEALR It was
like the worst questions ever. This is good advice? Really? Yeah? Okay,
well all y'all. I hope you have the best first
day ever. And I hope it's not awkward at all,
and I hope that um you just have a great time.
Whether he's the one or not. Yeah, you know what
I always tell myself, it just takes one. Just takes one,

(01:09:42):
just one one person. That's all I need, just one
good one. I might take a long time to find
that one, but once you do. Someone said, what happened
in Becca's last relationship that makes her want to be
so private? I totally respect it, but just curious us
to what it was. She was very public with Robert.
I think that's really it because I was very public

(01:10:04):
with Robert UM, I think it's it's interesting because I'm
not My relationship is not a secret. It's just private,
like everyone in my life knows, Like everyone who's in
my life knows. Um. But it's something that is mine

(01:10:24):
and I feel very protective over it. UM. And I
think there was a lot of I felt so much
pressure with the fact that my relationship with Robert was
public because when it came time and I knew it
was coming to an end, I was way. I was
so worried about like once again disappointing people, making people like,

(01:10:48):
you know, upset that we broke up. People were like
invested in our relationship, and UM, I think I know
it's a burden. Yeah, And it's weird because um, there's
there are parts of keeping a relationship private that that's hard.
I was talking to Tanya earlier about this, that it's

(01:11:08):
like another um added thing that I have to think
about when I'm posting or doing stuff, because you spend
a lot of time with the person you're in a
relationship with. So it is like a weird thing of
having to, um be cautious of that. But I'm not.
It's not necessarily I'm not doing it to stay like secretive.
I'm not doing it as like a game. I'm just

(01:11:29):
protecting something that's very special to me. But I don't know,
I just I don't like to me, it seems like
harder to do that. Yeah, I get it because I
don't have that perception of if this relationship ends, I
don't feel pressure to like hurt let people down. Yeah yeah, yeah,
But there's also there's pros and cons because if it's public,

(01:11:53):
I have to deal with other issues, you know, I
have to deal with people having in an opinion and
people and I, as we are talking about, I do
care about that no matter how much I don't want to,
and keeping it private has its own But the only
thing that about keeping it private is that I have
a lot of people asking about it constantly. But even

(01:12:15):
if I shared it, there would still be questions about
something else, you know. So it's interesting. But um, I
do think keeping the identity of that person private it
is important because not just in your case, I just
think in general, because I remember when I was dating

(01:12:36):
doctor W and we gave too many specifics about what
he did and what he looked like, and then people
found him and they were commenting on his photos like
be good to Tanya and La la la and so
like I didn't feel bad about that, So I think
for me moving forward, I definitely want to make sure
that that's why we came up with red starburs because
it's just like keep them very just very vague. So

(01:12:57):
I do get that. So you get it for sure
very you get an extent? Do you get it to
an extent? Yeah? But um yeah, thanks for I do
like it's really nice that people care. And I felt
like people were so kind when on the podcast and
I said I was in love, everyone was like so happy.
So because who doesn't love love? Who doesn't love love?

(01:13:19):
Besides the gringe? And I think now he does he
enjoys love a little bit after his adventure. Yeah, I
wanted like a really juicy question because everyone really posts
some like good stuff on the Facebook. Girl, this might
be too gross to talk about it. I know you're
going to bring up the blow job. I think we

(01:13:41):
should all give our tips. And since Eastern is a guy,
Oh my gosh, go what do you want to talk about?
Did we like give our tips? What are your tips?
Are you going to give one or is it just
gonna be me? I just need to see, like where
you're going with it before I even say my tips,

(01:14:06):
tips and tricks. I have found putting things in your mouth,
maybe as such as mints or ice cubes of that
nature tend to really high happen things up. Yeah, it's true,

(01:14:28):
it's true. I mean that can enhance any experience. That's
all I'm That's all I want to say. Yeah, I've
heard about the ice cube thing. Um, I feel like
you're one of my only friends who like actually not
necessarily like enjoyed that doing that, but I was definitely

(01:14:52):
willing to do it more than most of my other
friends that I talked to who were in relationships. But
I don't. I I like, I was so communicative. I
was like, just tell me, like, what do you like?
What don't you like? So awkward? I don't know. I
feel weird because I because I think about who could

(01:15:14):
listen and have an opinion? Where is it you don't?
I know it's a problem. It's really a problem where
your yang is my yang is? I will say, Because
I think the whole thing was about not gagging, right, Yeah,
I had a I had someone who I dated, and
he said he did not mind the gagging because it

(01:15:36):
gave him an ego. I cannot that is foul? Wait
is it? Yes? Wait what parts of growths? All of it? No?
Like what though, I don't gag? Is that weird at all?

(01:15:56):
When all the guys come for locking to John hashtag
I quit? But I guess what. I'm surprised that's what
got you though, Like, like that's what made you say
that's foul. I just feel like there's not right. I
was like, I felt that was pretty. I did feel
it was pretty. I don't want to say it's pretty tame,

(01:16:18):
but also it's not like that egregious. Egregious, that's a
good word. I'm just saying. I was always like, oh
my god. I I literally could barely go to the
dentist when they put the things in your mouth to
like do act rays and stuff, because it made me gag.
I'd like the most sensitive gag reflex. So I was
always like, this is this is not ideal. Also, never

(01:16:40):
heard of dudes say that out loud because yeah, like
you think that, but yeah, like but have you thought it? Well,
no comment, I'm just saying that. I mean, every man
likes an ego, but I'm just I've never seen that

(01:17:00):
math equation done right? So was he just trying to
make me feel better? Is that what you're implaying? No?
Do you think he was just very bold? He's being
very bold? Yeah, yeah, I admire is honesty. Yeah, comfortable
with me. I suppose we both just wanted the best
for each other. While we're on the topic, Um, I

(01:17:21):
finally gotta wax Oh great, yeah, tell us more or don't?
I don't know. I want to have a question. Did
the waxing person could they detect you or like vikily, Yeah,
she's like your VIRKINI line seems a little shorter than
the rest. I was like, because I did my own
work and not that great. As we were inspected in Hawaii,

(01:17:45):
she was like, yeah, I really missed some spots, so
worked out that that date didn't happen. Totally totally well good.
I glad, I'm glad. Everything's back in line, everything back
in good shape. Tanya tunups just in oh yeah, Tanya tunup,

(01:18:05):
Tanya two point oh, Tunapa two points coming in hot.
I love these things like out of nowhere, just like
you make it up in your head and then you
post it and then it's like whoever, like me, I'm like, wait,
what are we all she's gonna be born? What? Why

(01:18:27):
isn't it she born right now? Because she's being tuned up.
She's in beda testing right now, right now. When is
considered fall September? Do you have a date or just
a general season? Just a season? Okay? Are you going
to head back to school? We're back to school? Are

(01:18:47):
you gonna have an adventures back to school? Like a
coming out party? A debut? Tom Vall like what, I
don't even get it. It's like you make these things
up to get a reaction out of me. Or she
comes Tanya two point oh? What is she though? You'll
know when you see her, You'll just know she's gonna
have an aura. The walk, The walk has really been perfected.

(01:19:09):
She's gonna have a new strut, new hair, a new walk.
We already talked like no, no, my walk is like
is like done, like the new walk, the new you
have a new walk right now? Yeah. I got in
a little pep in the step. You don't do that
with the one video and Easton did Shaggy and I
was like, that was the last time I saw either

(01:19:30):
of those. That's not true. I walked next to you
every day and you never do. I don't bounced to
my step if you think about it. Just oh yeah,
you're gonna be over exaggerating it now, like the wheels
are falling off. I hear the preorders coming in for
telling you two point out at this point right, Well,

(01:19:54):
well not no, I don't even know that really took
a turn towards the end. It's getting late here, people
approach it. Um, well, thank you for listening. We love you. Guys.
Keep sending in good emails. I know you'll save a
lot of them for the Facebook group and because everyone
rallies together to give advice. But if you want, you know,

(01:20:16):
specific advice from the experts here, Um, we're waiting for expertise. Yeah,
it's scrubbing in at iHeart media dot Com. Um, I
hope everyone has an amazing week this week. We missed
you last week. Um, and do you have anything to
offer Tanya at one point, yeah, she's actually one point five.

(01:20:38):
But UM, I'm gonna miss you while you're gone. I
don't know how I'm gonna pull through, and I'm not
gonna see you for a week, so that's not ideal.
I'll be home soon, I'm not I'll tell you what
I'm not doing, and that's getting in the water so
scared of sharks. YEAHA, I was looking I was looking

(01:21:01):
up because I was just like getting I had chills
just thinking about sharks sitting on my couch. I've been
at I read about that shark attack in the Bahamas,
and I've had like nightmares. Didn't you go in the
ocean and Hawaii? Sure did? Oh? No, no, no I didn't.
I mean I went and like dipped my hair, but
I know it was But in Um, for my birthday,

(01:21:25):
we went and we went on a boat and then
all of us got out and went snorkeling. And I'll
never do it again after what I've read. So anyways,
um that we really went to a lot of places today.
But I hope everyone has a great week. Um so much.
We will see you next week or talk to you next.
You'll hear from us next week called death. Oh this

(01:21:49):
is a big top money what didn't even talk about it?