Surviving Dirty John with Terra Newell

Terra Newell from Dirty John is here so it’s a big day in the O.R. when a real life hero scrubs in.  We hear her deeply personal story including her experiences with Dirty John and how it has made her an expert in spotting red flags.  She has advice for people that may be dealing with a stalker.  And, learn what it's like to watch your life story dramatized on television.

 

Plus, Becca and Tanya settle a major disagreement, which has the BFFs on different sides of the table.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing in with sack At Tilly and Tanya Brad and
I Heart Radio and People's Choice Award winning podcast. Hello everybody,
Happy Monday. How's everyone doing today? Lively awake? Super great.

(00:24):
You're the type of person that enjoys Mondays. I love Mondays.
It's like the start of a new week. It's like
setting up your entire week. It's like a fresh star.
You know. I never used to be that, but I'm
coming into that a little bit because I like getting
back to the routine. Like my Monday is a very regimented,
very set I'm here at this time, I do this
at this time. I have a whole thing. Yeah. And

(00:45):
if I'm comfort in it on Monday morning week to conquer, Yeah,
when it kicks in, I feel like I got comfort.
I'm back in a comfort zone. That's interesting. I love
not having a routine. What oh I took the angiogram tests?
Am I saying it? Right? Have you all done that?
It's it's hard to talk about then. I feel like

(01:06):
I didn't take it, but somebody told me what I was.
That's not how it works. People can guess like, like
it's pretty standard that I think. If you like if
people are really into it and know what the personality
traits are. They probably could guess yours, but you don't
know until you take the test. But no one can
be like you're four. I think I was like a

(01:28):
two or three or two? Is the helper? Which is
the enthusiast? Kind is the enthusiast, isn't she? I've never
taken it, so I don't know for sure. I'm a nine.
Nine You're a peacemaker, but just so accurate because one
of the main things is like, hates conflict, stays out
of anything. I hate it, avoided it. Well, you couldn't

(01:48):
avoid it when you went to dinner with Tania? Could
you know there was conflict there. I'm also really upset
that I lost that poll by so much. What was
the final score? Do we know? Actually I might be
able to find. Of course I'm not having like a
screenshot of it just to rub her. So here's the thing.
Becca posted the poll, and I was like, okay, like
her followers will side with her. I was like, I'm

(02:10):
gonna post a poll on mine because my followers will
side with me, you know, Oh no, no, no, no no.
It was like eighty nine percent Team Becca. I was
so offended. Honestly, that was kind of the more satisfying
part because I thought, this this big of a lead.
There's no way she's going to win the pole, even

(02:31):
if she posted on hers. But I was like, maybe her,
you know her like fans are very loyal to her
because they're very team Tanya, and they agree with everything
that she feels and says and thinks. And I was like,
this could be closer. And then I think it was
even more dressing. My final was eight seven percent. To

(02:52):
so tell everybody what we're talking about, because if they
didn't hear you on there with Ryan's Secrets earlier this
morning Monday, or they didn't watch my story, right, So,
Tony and I haven't had like a time where we've
just gone and hung out like one on one, and she,
you know, when Tanya says, I want to go out
and do something cute. I want to go out out,

(03:15):
I want to go fishing, throw my rod out. I
know that that's not just a dinner at you know,
a cafe. That's like we're getting dressed up, we're gonna go.
She's gonna drink what she never really ever drinks. We're
both gonna drink and then we're gonna have a good time.
So we go to this restaurant down the street from us,

(03:36):
and we're going to sit down. It's a really cute
restaurant's kind of like there's like a mountain but it's outside.
It's so cute. By the way, the vibe is so
cute and there. Yeah, it's called Fireflying Studio City in
case anyone wants to go. And we got to sit down,
and I go to sit on the side where I'm
facing the restaurant and chairs would have been booth side.

(04:00):
There was a booth and Tony comes and sits next
to me, and I'm I literally like my first reaction,
like without even thinking about her feelings, was like, what
are you doing? She had like a visceral, visceral reaction
to me sitting next to her. I was like wow,
and she was like, oh, I thought it'd be cute
if we sat next to each other. So I promptly

(04:22):
get up and moved to the other side, and she's like,
I just thought this would have been so cute. We're
sitting next to each other, we're catching up. We can
see the whole restaurant, and I'm like, I don't need
to see the whole Restaurant'm here to hang out with
you and converse with you and look at you. I
don't need to see like everyone else. People have a

(04:44):
thing with that, like sis, and he was saying, she
likes facing the restaurant. Yeah, I'll switch side to soprano.
Like it was like, come on, I wanted to see
the vibe. I wanted to see what was coming in,
like what fish were swimming into the pool, like what
are we working with here? You know? And so I
really wanted to sit on the side facing the restaurant,

(05:05):
but I also wanted Becca to sit on it with me,
and that way she's closer. The tables were really far,
like I felt like I honestly felt like I had
to like yell a little bit too, like, oh my god,
I would have been so just I would have been
just uncomfortable internally with like the fact of what people

(05:25):
were thinking of why are these two sitting next? And
then the best part is the waitress actually told us
because I, you know, I wanted to get somebody else
on my side, So I was like, I wanted to
sit on this side. Actually, she felt she probably felt
really good going into the poll because the hostess who
sat us is like, I don't think there's anything wrong
without like it's loud, like she said, even by the

(05:46):
end of the night, everybody ends up on the same side.
We were dating or something like what friends sit on
the same side? I do. I'm really surprised as the
first time this has come up, because if I had
to guess, I would have assumed you said, on the
same side as everybody. I would like to a lot.
We went medieval times and we sat on the subside. Yeah,

(06:07):
I mean, you don't really if you're in a movie,
you don't have the choice about to sit next to
each other. But yeah, I really felt confident going into this,
like I was like, oh, you know, like the waitress
was on my side, and I was like, I just
feel offended with the visceral reaction to it, and I
probably got claw birds so many d m s that

(06:27):
are like, I'm normally a Tanya, but I am totally
team And it was really nice because you know, like
I said, you're your People who are teamed Tanya are
very loyal to their team Tanya nous. So I felt like, wow,
this is a strong reaction from the people by the
way we also just need to talk about. So then

(06:49):
we finished dinner and we left the restaurant, which I
think was a mistake. I feel like we should have
set set set our roots O sot our roots there
a little bit because I felt like it would have
been popping given like thirty more minutes, No, not thirty.
We went early. It was an early Saturday night. Then
I was like, it's not early for us. So then

(07:10):
we go to this bar and Beck and I literally
walk in and walk straight out. I was like, we
are not going fishing in there. So then we go
to this last place and then I was like, Okay,
the ViBe's cute. So there's like a DJ like this
could be like fum let's like sit down and then
we get a drink or whatever. So then I'm like,
now what you know? Now what do we do? We

(07:30):
don't know what to do, and so I started texting
this guy. Oh my god, I forgot about this, and
I think I'm wasty at this point because I text him,
hey are you in l a Hey? Are you in
l a Hey? Are you in l a And like
do you say? So her phone glitches, so she types
out she goes what should I say to him? And
I would just say, hey, are you in l A?

(07:52):
Because he's not here full time. So she types it,
She's like, it won't send, it won't send. So I'm like,
so she sends it again, and so then all of
a sudden she closes the app and then opens it
again and it said hey are you in la twice
and then Hey, Hey are you in? Hey? Are you
in Hey? And I panicked. I was like, like, nothing

(08:16):
was more Tanya happening. But I didn't even mean to.
That's the sad things, Like, I know I'm a little
like totally, but I wasn't even trying to at that.
That was an accident. And he responded and it wasn't
like bad, but it wasn't great. It was not great.
It was not great. And I feel like I already
shot that horse in the in the leg or whatever

(08:38):
the saying. I don't think that. I don't know what.
We're not even within a universe of a saying. It's existing,
shot the horse in the foot, myself in the foot.
That's normally Oh that is okay, no horse, no, sorry,
you've already you've already gone there. Yeah, And you're saying

(08:58):
is you've already shot the horse. I think she beat
a dead horse, is what she was, but also shot
myself in the foot. She going back to him would
be beating a dead horse. Basically, I feel like you've
already shot your shot. Yeah, like it's done. Like now,
like he's gonna come to lay and I'm not going
to see him, and that's fine. But he responded okay.
He didn't say like he didn't like ignore you. No,

(09:19):
it was okay, but it wasn't like it was one
of like a scared response like I am here. Like
it was like he did respond, but it was nervous.
He was nervous. So our night ended shortly after that
really killed it. It was like time to go home

(09:40):
after that one. Yeah, but I had a great night.
I've told Tony. I was like, we should do this
more often, like scheduled nights, because it's good to sit
down and chat. You know, opposite guys recognized more often
when you guys go out. Becca, I know, I feel
like you have like when we're together. I mean, no
one recognized us that night, but we we got no

(10:04):
perks that night. I feel like you get recognized more,
maybe like on a regular basis no chance at concerts.
Maybe yeah, you are the number one concert tonight. Get
when people come up depends on the venue. But in
the in the wild it's Becca. Oh, speaking of concerts.
I want to talk about Arianna all that stuff, but
we have to take a break. Okay, Fine, So Tanya

(10:27):
went to Ariana ground speaking of concerts on Friday night,
Becca went to the Staple show earlier in the week
that multiple shows and multiple venues around Los Angeles. Becca,
how did you feel about the Ariana concert? I was
slightly underwhelmed. Um, she has wanted the I will say

(10:49):
personally offended. Yeah, I will say this, she has one
of the best voices, Like of anyone out there right now,
I would say yeah, but um, there wasn't a lot.
I think you have to realize My last concert was Pink,
where she's flying through the arena. No matter where you're sitting,
you feel like you're close to her. This was I

(11:11):
will say, comparing Pink to Ariana Grande. What is literally
not okay? And what way? Wait? And what way? Ari
is our queen? No? Also finish your story because I haven't.
I have something okay, um, I and I there was

(11:32):
a part where and I was, so I went with
a like for I went with a company, and so
they had a box, and so I was already, you know,
a good distance away from her, but I just could
barely see her. She's so tiny. There was never like
a standout where I was like, oh, that's Ariana. You know,
I'd have to really search for her ponytail. I like

(11:54):
them to be taller. I did to say that because
you were in the box. I think that like box
is more for like because you were with like a
bunch of girls and friends. Hold on, I got a
d M from someone because I posted a story that said, like,
I think, I think Ariana is out there, but I'm
not sure where she is. And someone said I felt
the same way the whole show, and I wasn't even

(12:16):
that far away from the stage. Yeah, so I, like
I said, I think she's one of the most amazing
singers out there. But I think as far as like,
the production of the show didn't didn't have it for me.
Did you stay for the whole things? You leave early?
I normally always leave really to avoid traffic. I rarely
stay for the whole thing. I stayed for Pink and
Taylor weird personally, and I understand the reason for doing it,

(12:39):
but I always think, if I'm paying for a concert,
I want to see the grand finale, like they say
the best for laugh, I feel like I didn't pay
so I didn't feel this like you know, but um
and like I said, it wasn't I'm not. I'm not
a diehard Arianna fan like Tanya Dania will have a
rebuttal at what point did you leave? I just want
to figure out when did you leave? You know what's song? Roughly,

(13:00):
you walked out during We walked out while she was
playing with your girlfriend. Okay, dangerous woman. You missed no
tears left to cry, You missed break Free, and you
missed thinking Next. I know, and there's five songs. Some
of the girls wanted to stay for thank You Next,
but I knew it would be her last one, and
so I was like, I can watch Tonya's dance video.

(13:26):
But I had a great time as far I was
with my friends. We were dancing in the box, so
that was fun because if we hadn't had the room
in the space, you know, and just like had that,
I probably would have been bored. Okay, Tanya, your sixty Okay,
So I just want to say that Brad and I
have been counting dumb days until our Grande came to

(13:47):
our hometown. We wanted to go on a weeknight that
I didn't have work the next day, so we picked
the Friday night show. We've been really excited. We got
matching NASA outfits. He wore the guy version, I wore
the girl version. Like we were really like into this,
Like I made a little bab heads, like it was
just going to be like a full on, like church experience,
and it was. We lived our best lives, but we

(14:09):
also love like these last two albums have been like
the soundtrack of the last year of our lives, Like
we've really been living through them. And we also did
a dance video for like se of the songs that
she performed. That being said, we love Ari so hard
and we give so much and we get nothing, and

(14:32):
you know what, we don't give expecting anything in return.
But like ever since Taylor was going to say, when
Taylor commented that our one dance video, we were like,
we've done twelve Ariana Grande dance videos. Not once has
she liked commented nothing, not a peep, And you know
what and she follows broad right. It's really um you know,

(14:59):
so compared to the other people you're obsessed with, I say,
for example, Charlie Friends reaches out to you, Hailey Steinfeld
Friends reaches out to you, you get a lot back
from a lot of these people that you're obsessed with.
I think you liked the challenge of getting Ariana to
notice you and you know what. And so then I realized,
after I had this churchgoing experience that I'm going to

(15:22):
take a step back m Arianna. If you're listening, I
think she's a scrubber acknowledge and she loves she loves,
like would really get along, you know. Yeah. So it's like, yes,

(15:44):
the show is amazing, she's incredible and I love her.
But she is definitely one of the most talented people
out there. I just feel like she could easily fly
through the arena. She's tiny, dude, That's the thing. She could.
But it would like some ac batics and I would
just like some acknowledgement. Well not even acro but you know,

(16:05):
when you go to Taylor show, you're like, whoa, whoa
looking around like and she goes to different places in
the in the venue and plays and makes everyone feel
like they're close to her and the screens. That screen
was game changing on Taylor's last like you literally felt
like if you were in the nosebleeds at a Taylor show,
you see every breathing. This is another thing. So we're

(16:28):
far back and normally you can look at the screen
and feel like, Okay, I'm seeing everything small, very small screens.
Taylor does not get enough credit for the amount of
detail that she puts into making her fans feel like
they we already did like a full to there's some
podcast in her sweaters today. But I feel like she
does not get enough credit for doing that for her fans,

(16:50):
Like she really thinks them out, like to a t
and she talked about the detail when she was on
with us. Yeah, so hats off to you again, Taylor Swift.
All right, we need to get to our guests, but
I want time to tell a quick story before we
do that. So we have our guest, who, by the way,
is the only person we've ever had on our show
who's ever killed someone. It's that we know that we

(17:11):
yeah that we're fully aware of that Guilmore Girls guy,
you know, maybe never know No, Seriously, Terry Knewell from
Dirty John is going to be out and it's an
incredible story. And if you know the podcast of the
TV show, I think you'll be fascinated by this. And
even if you don't, it's an amazing story. And then
also we need to call a scrubber, not Ariana, a
different scrubber who wants to tell her sister that she's pregnant.

(17:33):
That's exciting as well. That is a lot of pressure
before we get to the girls and really fast. I
saw the email. There was an email directed to me. No, no,
I want to address that in a little bit. Right now,
we're going to we'll get to that, okay, I didn't
want I didn't know if you guys read it and
they're like, you know, we're gonna be nice to you. No, no, no,
I want to address it, to have some words before
we do that. This is a great story. That is

(17:54):
so it sums up Tanya so beautifully. And you're gonna
ask me if you can say the words, and yes,
you can say whatever you want. Tanya told me a
story today about the first time she met her future
brother in law. She was a teenager. If you don't
want to tell her, you don't have to tell can

(18:14):
I say that word? Okay? But it was an example.
And what I said to her this morning was, isn't
an interesting that your brother and sister are so normal?
And they didn't mean that in an offensive way. They
just are normal. They don't have that Tanya enthusiasm for
everything in life and the big eyes and the just
the just the energy that Tanya brings to the world.
They're they're very normal people like myself. Yeah, exactly like

(18:37):
all of us. That kind of reminds me a lot
of my sister actually, Okay. And so Tanya was fifteen
the first time she met her this man that was
going to marry her sister. And this is his memory
of the first time he met Tanya when he knew
she's different. Like he's normal, obviously super normal. He doesn't
even have like Instagram, social media. Like yeah, like he's
just like not in this world at all. And I

(19:00):
am dinner and like I came into the dinner table
and I was like, you guys, I can make myself queens.
Oh so embarrassed my first time meeting and I was
like a Ralph Horn polo tube top or something. Your
sister mortified and her boyfriend totally. But my sister had

(19:22):
been living with me for fifteen years at that point,
so she was just like, your mom was there? Yeah,
oh yeah, my dad was there Like that. You just said,
they'd all be so excited to hear this news. Yeah,
like you guys, I know, que on command. The best
part is as they're about to tell this story, can
I say that word because it was I don't know,

(19:43):
it's kind of the dirty word. No, it's just gross,
probably very proud word. Say it with yell it. So
what did you say? Was he like what they do?
Let's see it. I can't believe he didn't head for

(20:04):
z Hills at that point. I'm actually surprised he stood
the test of time myself. But now he's so stunned
by that moment. Yeah, he's like in it, and like,
I mean, they've been together forever well, by my math,
seventeen years, roughly sixteen seventeen. Yeah, I think I met
him in fifteen, so that makes total seventeen years. All right,

(20:25):
that's a lot. It's a lot, but it's Tanya in
a nutshell, and I thought the scrubbers would appreciate it. Yeah,
there you go. Let us know if anyone else has
that gift the talent, because I can't a lot of
general going. I was like, I don't even want to know,
And of course you go ahead and offer it up
anyway Without God, I lost my golden touch, you golden touch. Okay,

(20:53):
so let's take a break. We'll come back with Terry
Knewell from Dirty John. Um, you know what made getting
up early this morning really difficult? What getting out of
my sleep number? Um? Maybe you've considered a Sleep Number
bed but thought you couldn't afford one. But can you

(21:14):
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(21:36):
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(21:57):
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(22:17):
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(22:38):
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find the one nearest you at sleep number dot com
slash Becca. We should give that again just in case
they missed it the first time that a sleep number
dot com slash Becca. Um. We have someone in the

(23:00):
o R today that is very exciting for all of us.
Here we have Tara Newell. You might know her as
um the real life I don't even know Heroin right,
um from Dirty John, which is the podcast and the
TV show. I mean, welcome to the o R. We

(23:22):
are so happy to have well, thank you guys so
much for having me. Um. We posted on I think
Mark posted on our Facebook group that you were going
to be here and said does anyone have any questions
or what do you want to know? And it was
a huge response, so we have a million. But would
you make clear that this is a real thing that
really happened and I forget that all the time, Like

(23:43):
I'm like, I the fact that you lived this is
like beyond me. Oh well, it was crazy, I mean
I think yeah, and I think I listened to the podcast,
which is obviously it's like you're hearing it and it's
the story being told. But then you watch the show
and it so wild that even sitting here talking to

(24:04):
you and knowing that you went through it, it's hard
to like really wrap my brain around it. Yeah. Well,
I'm like five two and what I did was crazy
and you just wouldn't expect myself to come out of that,
you know, well, And I mean I'm assuming I feel
like the the podcast and the show were very similar

(24:28):
to each other, Like as far as like the things
that were said, like they did a great job. Did
you feel like they did a great job as far
as I really liked how they did it. Um, it
was just everything's different to you because it's your life,
and so you're like, oh, that's different, that's different there.

(24:48):
But how it was the sequence of it, like that
stuff happened. So it was just so crazy and so
surreal to see that and play in the TV show.
I'll bet that's got to be weird to see that.
When you heard it was Julia Garner, where was that
good news for you? You're like, oh, that seems perfect.

(25:09):
I honestly didn't know who she was. And then I
went and watched Ozark and I was like, I'm so
honored for her to play me. So I was happy
after I watched Ozark and I was like, Oh, she's amazing.
She's a brilliant actress. She was out of the Americans too.
Did you spend time with her? Um, we didn't spend
time together. She's a busy actress. So she literally went

(25:33):
from filming Ozark and then went to Dirty John and
then I met her maybe a month into filming, So
were you not have like was she just kind of
going off the podcast and what was set on there
for her? Like she didn't talk to you as far
as you know, she didn't talk to me. Um, she

(25:53):
just watched the podcast or listen to the podcast and
then watched I think Dateline and a few other and
reviews and then really tried to put her character into perspective.
I think we should get to some of the questions
because a lot of them are questions that I have. Yeah,
well one of a lot of them asked is about

(26:16):
and no one questions that you did what you had
to do and you're a hero for doing it. But
a lot of them asked about how when you kill someone,
how do you deal with that afterwards? Is there guilt?
Is there could have handled that differently? At such a
heavy question that a lot of them asked, but none
of us have ever gone through such a thing. John

(26:36):
was such an evil guy that I knew it was
either me or him, and he was going to kill
me no matter what. But I felt bad if there
was anyone that cared about him afterwards. And his sisters
came a couple of days after when I was out

(26:56):
of the hospital and then his daughter has found out
like months later, and just hearing what they had to
say that their relieved that he's gone. It was so
so great to hear that, because I just I don't
want to make anyone hurt. And I think, like you said,

(27:19):
he was so evil. He was not adding anything to
this world, you know, like, which I know it's like
a horrible thing to say, but like he was not
a good person, not at all, Like that's not a
bad thing to say about him. Um, Jodi, how has
this experience changed your dating habits? Like your guard has
to be up at all times. I'm well, I feel

(27:40):
like a psycho and NAN like analyzed guys now and
I'm like, oh, he's a sociopath. He's a narcissist. Oh
he I think he might be a psychopath. So I
just like I just really analyzed them, and I'm just like, oh, okay,
there's red flags there, there's red flags there. You must

(28:03):
be the best that seeing red flags. I think I'm
pretty good. Like sometimes I'm not gonna lie. I'll stick
around for entertainment with these guys and I'll be like, okay,
like what's going to happen? Next with them, and then
I'll be like, but I won't want to end up
with them at all, And I'm like, they're just strictly
entertainment for a moment. The next time you're seeing some Hey,

(28:26):
I'd like my friend Terror to come to dinner with us.
And out show has affected my dating life and I'm
just watching them, so I can't even imagine how it's
affected by me living it. Wow, Well that makes me
happy to hear that, because now women are seeing red flags. Yeah,
And I think it's like matters of the heart are

(28:47):
so blinding. I think it's obvious. I think we all
have felt that, but then like seeing it actually play
out the way that it did, I think it is.
I mean, I'm a little bit like too far where
I'm like very guarded, but I think a lot of
people are the other way, where they're like, yeah, here's
my address, compicure. It's like no girl, yeah, And when

(29:08):
like a guy comes picks you up, you're like, oh,
he's a gentleman o yeah, and they're like no, actually,
he just wants to see where you live and what
the security coade is. Yeah. Yeah. I grew up in
my you know, my parents are like, no, if he
wants to take you out on a day, he picks
you up. But it's like, that's not how it works
anymore with like apps and online dating, Like you can't

(29:29):
you you should not do that. I like highly recommend
meeting somewhere and not letting anyone know where you live
for the first time the first few times you hang out.
What is the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?
I'm so a psychopath um, to be honest, I'm like,

(29:50):
I feel like I just look at them and I
know after reading so many books. But there's a couple
of fine lines, like a psychopath will hurt someone and
not have a conscience, And sociopaths really don't have conscience either,

(30:11):
but they're not going to come after and stob soone
normally they still have that capability in them. But a
psychopath is just like um American psycho psychopath, there's no
real line between right and wrong. Sociopath is aware of that,
but it still has no empathy for other humans. So

(30:35):
was John considered a psychopath? Psychopathy? What are some signs? Sorry,
what are some signs girls that are dating should look at?
Like red flags here and there that are like benign whatever,
but like big ones that women should look out for.
I feel like when they're too like always there, that's

(30:57):
a red flat. Um. A normal person is going to
have a job, They're gonna not have time to hang
out seven at your house. Um. And if they're just
always I'm trying to think, I'm just like always being there,

(31:23):
like holding your purse and stuff for you is like
something John did from my mom. He just that they're
bending over backwards too much. Yeah, yeah, he did, like
the coffee you drink for this movie in the morning,
you know, because she's like a busny, busy woman. Um.

(31:45):
So it's just things like that. And then I was
actually on a date the other day and it was
like the third or fourth date. So I let him
come over. Thanks, but red flag here. I have a
happy and I was telling her no and like putting
pressure in her mouth and she would just squil once

(32:08):
and I would let her go so she would know
not to bite. And then he did it and he
held it down and she was squealing and I literally
had to tell him like, hey, that's good enough, like
don't do that. And so a sociopath or psychopath will
um not no limits with that. Wow, because like a

(32:30):
normal person, like if I did that was especially with
someone else's dog, that was somebody else's dog, well I wouldn't. Yeah,
I know. But if they said like, hey, this is
how you do it, like here, you try it, and
if as soon as the dogs squealed, I would be like,
oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Yeah,
that's like a normal reaction. But if someone puts pressure

(32:50):
and the dogs squealing and then they just enjoying, I
feel out of that having enjoyment out of that, then
I'm like, there's something wrong. So let's just say there
was not another date after that three to four. Good
for you getting pretty far, man, It's gotta be tough.
It's gotta be tough for you to trust anybody. Um.

(33:12):
On the Amanda brought this up and I wanted to
ask you about this too. On the podcast, I said
that it was your love of The Walking Dead that
made you know the best way to take this guy out?
Is that right? Is that accurate? It is? I watched
The Walking Dead religiously, so I feel like when you're
watching it so much, if you are in a situation

(33:36):
like that, you're going to respond how they did on TV.
And so when he attacked me, I was able to
get the knife and defend myself and then I ended
up stabbing him in the head and like folding his
head as he was falling down on me because I
didn't want to get bit Wow. So like not like

(34:00):
he was going to bite me, but it's just you know,
if you're fighting a zombie, you don't want to turn
into one. Well, also, like he could have, like he
could have retaliated that way in like self defense. He
could have like that may have been his only weapon.
This is fascinating and I'm sorry if I'm going to
a dark place here, but you got him in the

(34:21):
side of the head. Um, So I got him once
in the forehead and then in the eye, and the
eyes the softest point of entry for the head often used.
And that's and that's when you kind of saw that
this was over, Yes, And that's when I pushed him
off me and tossed the knife and then got away
from his body. And then your dog was like, basically

(34:46):
is that accurate? How because in the show, like the
dog was like attacking him, Hi, Cash was attacking his ankles.
Cash actually let me know that he was there before
I knew he was there, and then I I thought
he was a homeless guy. So I was like, oh,
just knock it off, Cash, and then he did, and
then he was preparing for the attack in the car.

(35:08):
So wow. But he saw him in the car. Cash
saw him in the car. Yes, I have chills. Like
Marina asked a question on this topic, would you have
done anything differently to prevent that attack from happening in
the first place? Excellent question. There's nothing that I could

(35:31):
have done differently in the situation, um, But there are
things that my mom could have done differently. She contacted
John back. And if someone's stocking you and sending threatening
messages to you, you don't want to respond, or you

(35:52):
want to respond one time and be like leading me alone,
I am scared of you. Don't block him, ride away.
Let like a few messages come through because he's crazy,
so he's gonna say some crazy things. And then when
those messages come through, block him and then go straight
to the police station and report him. Because if you

(36:14):
show that you are engaging and with someone like this,
then the police are not going to take you seriously.
So this is an excellent advice for our listeners think,
So I would just recommend don't engage with them and
go straight to the police. So engage wants to establish stop,

(36:36):
leave me alone, I'm scared of you, and then let
him go nuts for a while just to gather evidence,
then go to the police. And also, if you've done
anything differently that day to avoid him or avoid the incident,
he'd still be alive and tormenting your family. So I'm
sure you'd find another would have found another way, you know, like, yeah,

(36:56):
because a psychopath has a note, like you said, there's
no limits, it's not It's not like the police being
involved would have stopped him from trying to harm you
or your family. He wanted you gone, right because you
were the voice. You were the strongest leader of the
anti John movement in the family. Right. I'm no, Actually,
my sister was was just the sister that is not

(37:17):
part of the show with the podcast. She well she's
in the podcast Jacqueline, and then her character in the
show has a different name, Veronica. Why is that At
the time, she just really wanted her privacy. It's not
easy watching your trauma and things that happened in your

(37:39):
life play out on the TV. So it's hard to
watch that and it just takes a toll on you mentally.
So she just was having a very hard time with
it and just really wanted privacy at that time because
how I guess, like it happened forever ago. I mean

(37:59):
this was semi recent, right, It will be three years
on August. Yeah, So it's not like something that like
you've I mean, obviously you've had some time to process it,
but like for something that traumatic, it's not like it's
been like, oh it's been ten years or something. It's

(38:20):
like still very fresh. Yeah. I know, it's still very fresh,
and I definitely have a lot more therapy to go through,
but like I feel like I've made such an improvement
just with that time. But with the show, it does
like read trigger stuff. Yeah. I was gonna ask if
it helped you like rewatching it and like processing it,

(38:40):
or if it was more of like brought back so
many things that you felt like, oh no, I took
a step back in the moment, it felt as if
I took a step back. But overall, I feel like
I am stronger being able to watch that, and now
I'm able to watch the attack scene and say, oh,

(39:03):
that's Julia. She's playing a character and that's not me
in that moment. Do you think because there was the
podcast and there's Dateline and there's the show, do you
think is there more to come? Like, is there going
to be another show? Do they want to make a movie?
Like do you know of any plans of like extending
the story further? Well, there's this season two a Dirty Giant, Yes,

(39:26):
but it's a different story. Yes, it's probably going to
be another um Con Artists or something along that line. Okay, yeah,
and then um, as for my family, we are actually
in the works of doing like a reality TV show,
design show. Yeah. Um, it's so is your mom? Is

(39:52):
she dating again? She is? Are y'all like, we get
to screen him before you go on a date with that? Well,
I always see the joke. I was like, well, he's
probably scared of me. I'm going to let him know
that I'll take care of him if anything happened, And
so I just like, it's the joke. I won't do

(40:15):
that again unless like I have to. But it's just
like fun, like throw it out at them and make
them a little nervous. I am. I. Actually it was
like around Christmas time I walked by. I was looking
at Christmas Nights and I walked by the house that
they actually filmed the show Dirty John in in Long Pease, yeah,
and in Naples, like right by the water, and I

(40:36):
was like, oh, my gosh, this is the house that
they filmed Dirty John in. And like literally everybody on
the outside was like oh, like taking pictures. And then
the people inside the house. I don't know if it's
people lived there, but they were watching Dirty John and
it's like, you know, it's like all glasses. We could
totally see through that they were watching the show. And
I was like, this is so weird. It's like Christmas

(40:56):
and like this is the trippiest experience. I think it
was like an air beam b so who knows she's
in there, but they're all watching it. There's like a
twelve of them in there. Oh my gosh, that's crazy.
They were like having the full experience. They got the podcast.

(41:18):
I meanwhile, people walking on the streets or on the
sidewalk or like taking selfies in front of the house.
Paloma brings up a good point. I think it's a
very relatable question. What do you what's your advice for
dealing with a family member who is seeing or married
to somebody that you think is a terrible person, Like,
what are you doing? How do you get involved with
that without affecting your relationship with that family member? With

(41:42):
my mom at one point, I actually cut all ties
with her, and she was helping me out financially at
the time, so I was like that that was pretty hard.
I'm so I just like had all ties with her,
and then that was so hard to do because she
is my mom and I don't want to lose my mom.

(42:07):
So John hated my other sister. He wouldn't allow my
mom to see my other sister, but he would allow
her to see me because I was like the nice one,
I guess. And I also told him or told my
mom to tell him, that I would get together with

(42:29):
John and talk about our differences. So I was always
the one like I didn't think John would do this
at all, and he never did. But I was just
the one supporting the relationship in my mom's eyes. So um,

(42:50):
I kind of just tried to manipulate her in some ways.
So why why were you the target? And excuse me
if I'm not remembering this. If you weren't the anti
John Gaide. Why were you somebody wanted to take out?
I think that he thought that I was going to
be an easy target, and I think that I might

(43:11):
be my mom's favorite child, so well I'm like her youngest,
so maybe the family. So I feel like he was
going to come after me because it was going to
really sting her. Yeah, so it makes sense. Um, well,

(43:33):
Gianna Rotaco wanted to say, I just need you to
know that you are truly a hero and I'm so
taken aback with everything you did to save yourself. You
are a true role model for women to follow. Always
trust your gut and fight like hell. A nice comment
from It's so nice. Thank you. You really are on
a lot. I mean, yeah, you're you're a hero, and
that's really cool. I mean it's not cool that you

(43:55):
had to go through that, but it's cool that people
are like so supportive of you and what you did
and everyone's like it kind of gave people this girl
power moment because you're like this tiny, little little thing
and he was he was a big dude, Like he
was like six too, and you handled it. Thanks. At

(44:15):
what point when you're seeing someone new, do you mention
that you're Tarran Knewell from the Dirty John World. Okay,
so a lot of people actually like stare at me
and then they're like, probably like where do I know
this girl crime? And then some people will come up
to me and be like, oh, did we go to
high school together and stuff? And I'm I'll be in

(44:36):
like Texas, so I'll be like, no, we didn't go
to high together, and then they'll be like where do
I know you from? And like what TV shows do
you watch? Then it will just kind of go like that.
I also feel like, for some reason, sometimes when people
approach people that they like want you to say like

(44:58):
they already know how they know you, but they don't
want to just come out and say it because they
were like, is she comfortable with, you know, being recognized
or whatever? Yeah, but I'm sure every I mean if
I saw you because we were we talked about it
the show a lot while I was on, so I
would be I texted Amanda Stands saying I saw her

(45:19):
in real life and we talked for a little bit
or something like that, and I was like, I'm so jealous,
so sweet. I know she's the best, um, but I
did see that you recently opened opened up a few
weeks ago about a guy like grabbing you at a
bar or something. Okay, so that was just like a
guy grabbed me by the waist, like non aggressive or anything.

(45:43):
It was just he grabbed me and a stranger. Yeah,
and just to move me because he needed to shoot
his pull ball. You know, guys do this and they
don't need to do this. We're when we're walking. Guys
will walk past in a crowd and put their hand
on your lower back around your Wait, there's no need.

(46:03):
That's that touching people? Can you stop touching strangers because
there's no need for that, or like above the waist
maybe if you need someone like on the shoulders. Excuse me,
right right. I know you know he's into it, but
I bet that's probably triggering for you. Yeah, it was
so triggering because that's how John grabbed me. It wasn't

(46:25):
that he grabbed me like, well, he did grab me
kind of aggressively, but he grabbed me by the waist.
And I did the same motion I did with this guy,
like looked right up at him and I was like,
don't ever grab a girl by the waist, and like
I was just happy. I didn't hit him in that

(46:47):
moment because just going through a trauma, you're in fider
flight mode. And I worked through that trigger a little bit,
but not enough, so on it it made me had
bad dreams about John again and just retriggered me again.

(47:07):
And now I have to switch up my therapy because
I was doing talk therapy and doing great with that.
But when you're retriggered, it's important to do UM therapy
like E MDR or exposure therapy or other extensive therapies.
What what is the difference what do they do in

(47:27):
those like UM E M d R is where with me,
I had little tappers that like buzzed in my hand
and I would go through the trauma. But at first,
when you're doing E M d R, you have to
establish like a safe place and so I my safe
place is this place in Montana where I used to

(47:49):
go fishing with my dad, and then I brought my
dog into that picture, so it's like just the ultimate
safe spot for me. And then UM, you go through
your trauma, and then when you start to feel like
an eight or nine or ten, you kind of have
to go back to your safe spot and then UM,

(48:10):
you just keep going through your trauma, and each time
you hope that it lessons and you kind of figure
out things that you kind of did right and your
trauma and realized that it couldn't go any different and
that you are here and you are safe, and it's

(48:32):
just really helpful because it rewires the brain with like
doing the buzzers and stuff everything at the same time.
Is that what they did with Owen on the episode
of Grace and not even remember when he went in
and everything on this podcast goes back to Grayson. I
love well because I just I feel like you're talking

(48:54):
about the trauma and that you're in like currently in therapy,
and that's something that's part of your life. Is really
brave because you know, that's it's real life, and it's
how you get through the days after going through what
you went through. So I really applaud you for like
being open and honest about that, because I think a
lot of people are scared to like not only do

(49:16):
that for themselves, but also talk about it so openly.
So I think that's really important that you're doing that. Well.
Thank you. I just hope it helps other people that
don't have the means that I had to, you know,
go and do that themselves. You know you mentioned your dad.
Is he still around? Yeah? Um, well, I love my dad.

(49:37):
We get lunch and dinner every now and then. She's
so proud of you. I mean I can't even imagine. Oh,
he's very proud. He's just like a very quiet man. Yeah.
If one of my daughters did what you did, oh man,
oh gosh. I have a hard time with that. Yeah,
I literally like, and I don't I'm not eve gonna
put it out there. I'm not gonna say what I think.

(49:59):
But if I were your position there, I not I
would not have been the same. Yeah, I like, don't think.
I'm like, I want, I actually want to be stronger
because I think in instances like that, I tend to
get like just scared. But would you have known that
you'd have been able to do that? If not for
that situation, I would have never Like, well, I believe

(50:22):
I believe in God. I believe that he was there
with me that day, and then it was kind of
like that's my path and that's what he put me
on this earth to do. And then now I'm on
this planet to talk to women and let them know
that there are psychopaths and there there's evil in this road.
I almost feel like I need to take some sort

(50:44):
of like self defense class because like, truly well, I
I also think like you're you, I feel like you
would be able to handle something like that. I don't
think you're I don't think her natural, Like I don't
think she ever thought that she'd be do it, like
the adrenaline and the just fight or flight, like she

(51:05):
knew that if it wasn't if it wasn't him, it
was her. So and I hated him, And if you
hated someone like you could probably kill them a lot
easier than if you loved someone at one point, you know. Yeah,
and like you said, he wasn't like he had any
redeeming qualities. Like watching the show and listening to the podcast,

(51:28):
I'm like, I was so frusher with your mom. I'm like,
what is she doing? There was a general feeling from
everyone who watched and listen, But I get it. I
truly do her mom. Yeah, I really do. Like I
sympathized with her her. I say her character was real
human so much because I have I haven't been there,

(51:52):
but I think we've all been there. I'm extremely close
with her. Um I would be lying if I said
I forgive her for everything that happened. But you know,
there's no time limit on forgiveness, and every day I'm
working on my relationship with her, So that's good enough

(52:14):
for me at this moment. Yeah. Wow, I love how
honest you are. So real. Um, thank you so much
for coming on. We so appreciate. Thank you so much.
We thank you guys so much for having me yea fascinating. Yeah,
and for the good tips. Well thanks. So, as we mentioned,
Beca and I went out recently and we imbibed a

(52:36):
little bit and you actually took you took some cheers.
So I got home. I've noticed, like, what if I
go out and I drink, whether it's two drinks or
an excessive amount, I feel horrible the next day and
I can feel it coming along the night before, Like
as I'm getting into bed, I'm like, oh no, I
can already feel it going south. Um. So I had

(52:59):
the Years capsules in my backpack from earlier that day,
and I took them out and took two of them
before I went to bed. I woke up feeling like
I didn't even drink. Well, I wish I would have
done that because I woke up feeling like h e
double hockey sticks the next day. So I am going

(53:20):
to take your suggestion and I'm going to take some
of those next time I'm drinking. I it was one
of those satisfying moments where I was like, I'm going
to take these and see how it works. And it
was a game changer. And now you want to spread
the words. So like an ant acid for alcohol, cheers
after alcohol aid neutralizes alcohols negative effects so that you
can wake up feeling great, no more headaches, nausea, or

(53:43):
sluggishness the next day. And it's healthy for your liver too. Yeah.
So to use Cheers, you simply take two to four
capsules after your last alcoholic beverage. I took two, but
I'm glad to know that you can take up four. Yeah,
depending on how m you drink. If you don't wake
up feeling its fifty better the next day, you'll get
your money back guaranteed. Let me just tell you I

(54:05):
was more than fift the next day. Yeah. I am
like all about this. They have never found something that
um works like this for like to help with the
after effects of drinking alcohol. I know. I mean, I've
heard every remedy under the sun, and none of them works.
So I'm excited to try these. So to order, visit
Cheers Health dot com and enter promo code Becca check

(54:27):
out to get ten percent off of your first order
plus a free gift. That's Cheers Health dot com promo
code Becca for ten percent off and a free gift. Cheers.
It's the best thing to happen to alcohol since alcohol.
And what's the website again? I missed it when you
said it the other time. It's Cheers Health dot com
and use promo code Becca. All right, let's get Melissa

(54:49):
on the line. Where's Melissa? We all read an email here.
Do we have a plan or does she write out
a plan for us? I think she has a plan, Melissa,
I'm Melissa. Okay, thank you guys so much for doing this.
Oh my gosh, are you kidding? This is the most
exciting thing we've done in a long time. There's a
meeting at noons. We should get to this fairly quickly.

(55:11):
I don't want to keep her from her day, but
let me read your email here, She writes, I absolutely
love you guys. My younger sister, Kaylee has always loved
Becca and Tanya and encouraged me to listen to the podcast.
I wasn't planning to have kids, but I just found
out I'm pregnant and my sister is going to be
so excited and completely shocked. I was hoping that you
could all help me call Kaylee to tell her she's

(55:31):
a Becca and I'm one thousand percent Tanya. Well, let's
test that if you went to a restaurant, would you
ever sit on the same side of the table as
the one other person you're going out to dinner with?
Oh my gosh, I started to do that all the times,
way deep into the team tom Girl in my own heart.
I've been married for eight years. My younger sister and
older brother already have kids, so they'll be still thrilled.

(55:53):
Was that weird when you're younger sister had kids before you, Yes,
so you were like just throughout your life, you were
always kind of like, I don't want to have kids,
or you were like, oh, if it happens, it happens. Whatever. Um.
I did not really, Um, I didn't really want to
have kids. My husband has always wanted to have kids,
so I think once we got married, I had to

(56:16):
shift my mindset a little bit. But um, yeah, this
is a this was not planned. This is a big shock.
I'm not quite ready, but here we go. I don't
think anyone's ever I've always heard this, but everyone says
you're just never ready for what you take on as
a parent. And Mark is the only one in here
who can really vouch for that. But you're just doing

(56:37):
the best you can. Every day everything's new. Um, what
did you want them to pretend to be? So this
is actually true? I'm interviewing his volunteer to Holden's Home
and my sister knows that, and so I was thinking, um,
that you guys could kind of pretend to be somebody
calling it the character reference. So they're from like personnel

(56:58):
at the what is it? It's a children's home, a
children's home. Yeah, so you can meet the personnel director
of the children's home and you're calling, I feel dumb.
Is a children's home? What exactly is that? Um? So
this one is actually for kids who's been abused, so
they it is kind of a halfway home before they

(57:20):
decide where they'll go live and still going to foster here.
My dad ran one of these places in Neil's Villa, Wisconsin.
Sounds just like what you're describing. Yeah, so you're you're
interviewing to work there here, Yeah, just do here. Yeah,
you're a great person. You are going to be such
an amazing mom. I feel bad pretending to be there.

(57:41):
So how how do you want to transh we could
be from ZIP recruiter and say that your sister Melissa
is applying for a job. That's the smartest way to
hire h Right. I just feel bad saying that we're
front you know, recruiter and she's a fan of the podcast.
She's going to know and gonna have to change your
voice too. It's always a giveaway. Okay, So why don't

(58:04):
you just say hi there, I'm calling to chuck up
on Melissa's references. You don't have to get into the
children something, Okay, No, yeah, saying she interviewed for she
is looking into position to volunteer volunteer position? Our names?
What are our names? Um? I'll be Tiffany, and you
can be You're always Tiffany because you got a tea.
But everyone knows who should be. He's a fan Taylor Taylor. Right,

(58:28):
who do you Selena? Taylor Taylor? And um Katherine okay,
Katherine Avery All right eastern dial if you don't mind. Okay,
who was I again? You're going to be a Taylor Taylor.
You're calling to check up on Melissa's references, and I'm

(58:51):
say I have my my coworker here. What's your voice
going to be's gonna be down? Like? Deep? Hello? Is
this Kaylee? Are you there? Hi? You? Oh? I'm sorry, Hi.

(59:13):
We were calling. Um, we had a job application from
your sister, Melissa, and you were listed as a reference,
and we were calling to just get some information about her.
What do you think about her as a person? If
you think she would be great for our company? Oh?
My god, Um, Melissa is incredible. She's incredibly um dependable,

(59:35):
I know that she. Um is just dedicated to her
work and when she sets her mind to something, she
always follows through. Um. She keeps my daughter actually pretty regularly.
And Um, she's just really trustworthy. Oh that's amazing. Do
you think she would be a great mom? Like? Do

(59:56):
you think she's good with kids? Do you do you
trust her at lutely? After my daughter actually chooses her
over me sometime? Wonder? Yes? Um? And my daughter is
very very shy and doesn't like many people. And Melissa
is like one of maybe two or three people that
she just loves. Has Has Melissa been taking care of

(01:00:19):
your daughter since she was a baby. Yes? Um, so
we live really far apart. Melissa would drive two and
a half hours to come keep her when she was newborn.
She kept her a couple of times, and she she
drives all that way pretty regularly just to keep Avery
for a little bit. That is so wonderful. Do you

(01:00:41):
know what she listens to when she's driving? I don't.
I don't. Um. I know she really loved podcasts. She
listens to a lot of podcasts, but I'm not sure
what exactly are there. Are there any concerning podcasts? Are
they clean? What do they? You know? Always clean? Yes? Um,
she really listens to educational podcast Oh okay, could you

(01:01:05):
have any, like, off the top of your head who
she listens to, just so we can kind of get
a background. Um. To be honest, I don't know. I
just know she's always talking about listening to podcasts, but
I don't know exactly which ones. I'm sorry, She's always
trying to get me to listen to some motivational ones
and things like that. I just never really followed through

(01:01:26):
and listen to those. Well, Kaylee, I know it's so bad.
My name is actually Tanya and this is Becky here
at all? Can I say that the only podcast you
listen to, Well, we're really not holling. Ras is not

(01:01:49):
going to kill her? Well, don't kill her because we
have some really exciting news. Can we get some sound
effects every here? Mark, you are going to be Oh
my blacks want to cry? Melissa? Is Melissa on the

(01:02:10):
line stiff, I'm here? You did you really not tell me?
I really did not. I was waiting for this. Okay, listen.
She has said from the beginning. If I ever tell
you I'm gonna be pregnant, it's going to be through
through y'all. So here we go. I'm actually shocked that

(01:02:31):
you didn't recognize that it was us, like you were
like really, you were really selling it, like really like
she was did no voice? Can we hear some more
of that voice you were doing? Uh? So that's really great.
I was so nervous. Oh my god, this is crazy, Melissa.
Are you serious? Yeah? How far long are you? Oh

(01:02:55):
my gosh, baby's gonna have a cousin. So great, this
is so funny. You were so nervous for this character
reference because you like, yeah, you talked it up so much.
I mean, you have you have a great um, like
you're a great reference to have on the I feel

(01:03:16):
like Mark is like welling up a little bit. Yeah,
it's a little bit. You couldn't have a cause it
is very sweet. Yeah, that does get sweet. But also
I was laughing so hard to voice. There's some residual
tears earlier. Wait, Melissa, how far? How far along are you?
Almost three months? Bliss? Didn't they are you your three months?

(01:03:36):
I thought it was six weeks? I was holding out
podcast for the podcast. Well, congratulations you guys, We love you.
Thank you so much for listening, and congratulations on being
a new mom and aunt and thank you involved. Yeah,

(01:03:59):
if you have a girl, Tanya is a great name.
Becca is a great name. Boy you have Beckham Beckham
or Tanner. I like it. Thank you guys so much
for doing this week. We love y'all. Oh, we love y'all.

(01:04:20):
Thank you so much. Congratulations again, bye guy bye. Thank
God Forbecca and that because I literally got one word
out and I could not control my laughter. I'm sure
I had filmed you because the way your lips lips
are hilarious. It's kind of an Owen Wilson voice. You're doing.

(01:04:41):
It's probably a man or a woman. I literally what
did I say? I said one word? Said one word?
You said hello? And then she's like, are you still there?
Erica was on the floor. Can you can you do
the voice again? Yeah? I was like, why is this? Kyle?
Why is this? Why is this? Kaylee? At the boys?

(01:05:01):
Please look at her? It's like a duck? Why do
I need to do that with my list? Like me
really a method actor. I felt like she was a
little upset that she didn't know there was some genuine
annoyance there that you didn't already know. But isn't that

(01:05:21):
the grace, Like you're just a wait three months, right,
that's what they say, But it's your sister, You're says
you tell immediately your mommy told me. I also think
normally she probably was like, without even realizing it, upset
that she hadn't figured, you know, like because a lot
of times, you know, you're like are you pregnant? You know,
and she's probably like, why didn't I know this? But
also she said she never wanted kids, so she probably
didn't even think like it was a thing. It's so exciting, Tany.

(01:05:46):
You wanted to address this other email we got from Susan,
I would also like to address it. Yeah, why why
why is every podcast about setting Tanya up? I need
you to read it like a little bit more like okay, sure?
Why why why is every podcast about setting Tanya up?
Trust me when I say her aggressive approach for a

(01:06:07):
husband is scaring them off. She needs to relax. I
just listen to the podcast once again about Tanya's search
from Ann getting old new topic plays. Currently listening to
a single shamming episode leaving the room for him, Okay,
leaving room, leaving room for him like in your bed. Okay.
If these men listen to your podcasts, they will think

(01:06:29):
you're crazy. Sorry, but great entertainment. That's nice. I feel
like this is one of the like you remember that
message I got from that person that d M that
was just like so rude. It could be her, really,
I don't know, like that, it's like she's like bashing you.

(01:06:49):
And then at the it's like, but great entertainment, Like
I love listening to it, but you're totally scaring off
your future has so is that ever concerned of yours
that you're scaring off your future husband. Yes, Susan, I
say what I say when I want to say it
how I want to say it, because I am a
modern woman and I do what I want, and I

(01:07:11):
don't do this for anybody else's acceptance or appreciation or entertainment.
I am just living my life and this is how
I choose to live it. I um, I hope or
not hope. I genuinely seek out doing life with a partner,
and it is a big topic of my life, in

(01:07:34):
my every day and I see no fault of that.
If I were like aggressively trying to get my dream job,
would you be judging me as hard? Probably not, just
because you know what I mean. Like, it's such a
double standard, and I'm here to say And actually, for
every one email like this, I get fifteen others of
girls being like, I'm in the same boat as you.
I've done the same thing. So I say things that

(01:07:54):
are embarrassing for people to admit, and I'll just admit
them because I don't care. Also, I would like to say,
because I haven't talked about my dating life, I feel
like you've had to kind of step up in the
sense because people want to know about that, and you've
had to kind of take that on and we focus
more on yours because I'm not talking about mine. So
I think that's also a big part of why it

(01:08:16):
feels heavy, in that it's always about your dating life
and we don't talk about I think if I was
talking about mine, it would it wouldn't feels so much
like Yeah, but I appreciate you being open and honest
and real about what's going on in your life because
I think a lot of people who are single and
going through that desire to have a partner, and like

(01:08:37):
waiting on the right person or waiting for the right
timing really relates to what you're talking about. So, Susan,
I hope that you're happy and you're if you're in
a relationship and you've found your person, and if not,
I hope that you are more open about seeking that
out and finding someone if that's what you desire, and

(01:08:58):
maybe try and good night to your protection. But it's
like it's things like that, like, yes, that's obviously embarrassing
to admit, do you know what I mean? Like it
obviously sounds crazy to other people. I can't tell you
how many people message me privately in my d M s,
which is fine, saying that they have done the exact
same thing, and I'm like, that's the thing. Like, I'm like,
I know a lot of people are doing these weird

(01:09:20):
things because I'm not like, do you know what I mean?
But they just talk about it. A number of how
many people said that they do that as well? At
least thirty yes, with everything, all the embarrassing things I say,
I get so many d ms like I lit this
candle the other day, that's like bringing love into my life.
A woman. Two girls message me saying they lit this

(01:09:40):
exact same candle and after the candle burned all the
way down, they found their husbands every day in May.
And it came to me from the Jonas brothers. So
I feel like it's definitely holy. It's definitely something's going
on there. It's doing in May so far, so far?
Hey are you in l A? Are you? Hey? Um?

(01:10:05):
Still crickets? That thing has really sprung to my attention,
and you're aware of you may have met somebody that
you didn't give a second thought too, but that will
turn out to be the one. But she did say
would be like apparent like they would like, Oh yeah,
kind of one of those moments. So any upcoming guest
in the studio, What do we have next week? Jessica Alba,

(01:10:27):
I don't see you too necessarily, also taken cash Jamie
Fox was supposed to come by. He's gonna he's taken. Yeah,
nobody leaps to mind. All right, maybe it'll be a
last minute edition and it's coming in. Oh. She does
say Diplo has great hands. That's all I remember you
ever saying about diplow he has great hands, family compliment.

(01:10:50):
I like, weirdly went and looked at his hands and
good right, they're nice. Um, all right, that was I
feel like this was a great podcast. Lots of lots
of um action. Tara was just amazing, Like there's so
many adjectives to describe what if we I'm like processing

(01:11:12):
at all and then we like delivered great news to someone. Yeah,
a lot of action reaction. Susan like black that out.
I'm actually glad that we read that because I honestly
I saw it in the in the thing and I
was like, I feel like they're probably not gonna do

(01:11:32):
that because I think it's gonna hurt my feelings. No,
no, no no, I wanted to address it because I thought
it was rude. We will take your complaint emails if
you have them, Yeah, bring them on rubbing in and
I hurt media dot com. Yeah, we love a good
complaint email. Not too many of them. We go for
the nice ones, like looking for advice or baby news. Yeah,

(01:11:53):
we'd like the nice ones. Yeah. Um, all right, well
until next time. That's so sad to our next date
night when we sat on opposite sides of the table.
Time of death. See how she avoids the question. Sorry,
he came back to life for a second. Now now
he's official Time of death. Twelve vote two