The Ick Ward with Brandi Cyrus

Brandi Cyrus is our guest physician with Becca in the O.R.!
 
She gets real about how the holidays are different this year for the Cyrus family and she opens up about her last relationship.
 
Plus… find out Brandi’s Top 3 “Icks” when it comes to men!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An I
Heart radio podcast. Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in and
this is our last as far as I know, our
last episode of the year, and Tanya is out. Tanya
is on vacation. But I have an amazing co host.
I'm so excited that she is scrubbing in with me today.

(00:22):
It is Brandy Cyrus. Hello. Hello. We were just saying
I haven't seen you since been in Jessic's wedding, and
I know, which kind of seems like yesterday in your way,
you know, I was like, you know, just a couple
of months ago in November, but yeah, no, it was

(00:43):
over a year ago, a whole year ago. Yeah, I
was nuts. How are you? What's what's new for you?
You know what? I kind of feel like things are
exactly the same as the last time I saw you,
except last time I saw you, I had laryngitis. Do
you remember that? And I can't really talk. Yeah, so
I had my voice back, which is great news. It

(01:03):
took a whole year, but we made it, but we're here. Yeah.
And it was like freezing cold, and I remember thinking
as I was like listening to you talk I was like,
this probably isn't good for the already laryngitis situation that
she has. Go it wasn't. I also was just so
terrified that everyone there would think I had COVID and
like avoid me like the plague. But for that wedding,

(01:27):
I'm pretty sure. I don't know if everybody had to test,
but I did test just to make sure, and I
was like, guys, it's not COVID, I promised, but it
surprisingly everyone was nobody like, nobody like steered clear of me.
I feel like it was except wells Well was the
only one, was the only one that was like a
little skeptical of me. He was like, you're He was like,
this does not sound good. I'm not. He was like,
I love you, but no, Um, well, what has happened

(01:51):
since I last saw you? What? Oh my gosh? What
I want to say? I don't know if you've talked
about this publicly, so if you haven't, we can just
cut this out. But I want to say you had
just gotten out of a relationship. When I saw you,
it was like recently out of a relationship was like
semi recent, So um, I guess that relationship ended in

(02:13):
like March of that year. Okay, so it had been
a while. It kind of had been a while, but
it was one of those that still sometimes it still
does feel kind of fresh, you know, just depending on
how I feel, I guess, um, but yeah, it's you know,
I heard somewhere that it takes you as long as
you dated somebody to really be over it and healed
from it, and to like, if you date somebody for

(02:33):
a year, it takes you a year to really be
like healed and moved on. If you date somebody for
a month takes months kind of thing. And I kind
of really agree with that, uh, I really do. And
it's like you can go months thinking you're fine, you're healed,
and you're moved on, and then like something can trigger
you and you can kind of go right back to zero.
You know. It's just tough. And that relationship was a

(02:54):
long one. It was like two and a half years. Okay,
so it's been a year and a half. Yeah, about
a year and a half. And I don't me wrong,
Like I feel pretty healed and everything, but I'm not
gonna lie, Like there are times where I kind of regress,
and the holidays do it to me a little bit
because he did spend Christmas together when he moved over
here and moved in with me, and he was spent

(03:16):
Christmas with my whole family, and um, to be honest,
I was kind of the last normal Christmas I've had
because then, um, you know, my parents are divorced now,
so like that has definitely played into how the holidays are.
And I live in Tennessee. Half the family does in California,
so Taytormiss and Weather we all get to be together. Um,
so the holidays are kind of tough. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah,
I think that the Haley and I were talking about

(03:38):
this recently about how like the holidays can bring so
much joy and they can also bring like such a
hard sense of like just like hard feelings too that
come with it. And I was talking to one of
my friends who is single, and she was just saying,
like this time of years like the hardest for her
and as far as like being single, because she's like,

(03:59):
I'm watching everyone like celebrate together and I don't live
close to my family, so I feel like I don't
see them until like right at Christmas, and it's just
like a lonely season. But um, I do feel like
being like getting out of a relationship. I I always
think to myself, if Haley and I ever broke up
for whatever reason, I don't know that I would ever

(04:23):
fully get over her, Like I really don't know that
I would ever like even if something horrible happened and
she did something horrible to me, I just don't know
that I would ever get over it because she's like
my first love. So were you would you consider him
your first love? Did you have relationships before that you
felt like, you know, I had had relationships before, but

(04:45):
he was the first one where I really like I
kind of thought he I thought he was the one,
and it was one of those things where, like you know,
they always say like when you meet somebody, you know
when you know and you know, like not that I
not that it's like love at first sight, but like
I don't know, there's just like a knowing And I
really felt that with him, like I truly just thought
like that was it for me and everything, And so
I do think it hit it hit me harder, and

(05:07):
like I hate I hate the way like what I'm
about to say has like a negative thing to it.
But I don't think I'm gonna ever fully be over
him either. But I kind of think that's okay. Like
I think it's kind of crazy to think you can
love somebody that much and be with them for so
long and like things and then like you know, in time,
just fully be okay. I just I think it's okay

(05:28):
not to be well. And I was thinking about I
was listening to a song and it was it wasn't
like a sad, Like the sound of this song wasn't sad.
I can't remember what it was, but it's basically talking
about how like when we get into relationship with people
were strangers before we meet them, like we have no
idea to exist, and then we meet them and our
whole life changes, like our whole world shifts, and that's

(05:51):
like such a huge part of our lives and then
you break up and you're that's not there anymore. But
it's like, how do you experience so things so massive
and life changing and not and just be able to
get over that completely and never think about it again.
I just don't think it's a realistic and like how
we're made up, or maybe some people are, but I'm not.

(06:15):
Maybe I don't know, but I agree with you and
it's like in a weird way, like I kind of
think of it as in the same way as like,
let's say, for instance, that I was with somebody, not
necessarily even married, but like in a relationship with somebody
that was like the one for me or my person,
and that person died, you wouldn't be expected to like
be with someone else and just forget that person entirely, right,

(06:38):
and like cannot ever be affected by that relationship or
think of them ever again. And even though it's not
exactly the same thing, like it kind of is, especially
when you cut somebody out of your life and don't
ever speak to them again, it kind of feels like
they die, Like it feels like a death right like
in your life. And I kind of just look at
it the same way. It's like, you know, you wouldn't
expect someone to just forget their partner that passed away

(06:59):
and and just like all of a sudden, like they
have zero feelings for them forever. It just doesn't really
work that way. Right When you are you dating again,
have you started that process? I've tried. I've been on dates,
um and I did kind of sort of date somebody
last year around this time. UM, and it took me.

(07:19):
I guess a year ago is when I when I
did start seeing somebody else, and it took me that
long to even get to that place. Um, but I'm
not gonna lie, like when I put myself out there,
it's just always been such a disappointment. I'm like, why
do I even do this? It's so hard to even
meet anybody, And um, I don't know, Like I like
the idea of long distance because I don't mind being alone,

(07:42):
and like, I'm very independent and i have my own
life going on, and I'm perfectly fine not seeing somebody
every day. But there's a fine line between, you know,
being able to do long distance and the reality of like,
all right, well, if you start talking to somebody online
or on an app and you're never ever going to
meet in real life, like what's the point, you know? So,
I mean it kind of goes like it could be
somebody that lives in you know, Washington State, or somebody

(08:03):
lives in London. It's like, all right, well, are you
gonna get on a plane and come here and take
me on a day, because if not, I'm not gonna
waste my time talking to you. And that's kind of
my attitude about it, and it's hard to like, you know,
it's just just like not that many options if you
really think of it that way. Yeah, you're like, listen,
I'm willing to do the long distancing, but like, I'm
gonna need some major effort from you if I'm going

(08:24):
to commit. Yeah, Like I when I start talking to
people on apps or something, I'm like, after like two
or three days of chatting with them, part of me
wants to literally be like, so, are you getting on
a plane and like taking me out this weekend? Or what?
Is that too much to ask? Do you? Have you
ever had someone do that? Have you ever had I
had the guy started seeing last year. He did fly
to Nashville and take me out. That's it. I like that.

(08:47):
You don't know about him, but it's not working out. Yeah,
we don't like him for other reasons, but we like
him for the effort. I did appreciate that effort and
and I mean I like that, like the boldness of that, right,
Like I'm a try the people that like make bold
moves and are very like confident and whatever, and um
he did that, And I was like, like, but that

(09:08):
can also come across creepy if it's done by the
wrong person. So it's another like clury space. You're like,
I don't know, You're like, I need you to be
bold but not too eager, but it's not creepy, not creepy,
but confident. What are some Okay, So you're you're dating,

(09:28):
Like how you're dating is through the apps? Do you
have like are you like I hate the apps? Would
you rather meet someone in person? Or you like, yeah,
the apps? Okay? But I also realize that's the time
we live in, and I know a lot of people
that have met their significant other that way, and they're
wonderful and their relationships are wonderful. So it's like, obviously
it's possible to do um, but I just think it's

(09:51):
very hard to really get to know somebody through an
app and via text and via the phone, even like FaceTime,
which is very easy to like be the best version
of your self when you're talking to somebody over a phone,
you know, and kind of project the person that you
want to be or that you think you are, not
really your true self. But when you're with somebody in person,
it's harder to do that. Like it's easier to like
see through those things. So that's the thing I like about,

(10:14):
like meeting or hanging out with somebody in person first
via like starting some texting relationship. You know. Yeah, I
feel because when I think about how Haley and I
met in person but then she deemed me Like, that's
how I like we started talking like after we met,
so technically that's an app, you know, like we met
in person, but it was initiated by the app. So

(10:37):
I feel like the apps get like a bad rap.
But all my best friends have met their long term
boyfriends on app. So I'm like, this is the times
we're in you know, and it only takes one. It
only takes one to like change the reputation that true
what are your like X? That you get immediately turned

(10:58):
off by, like what are your top three? Exce if
you're talking to someone and they they do this and
you're just like absolutely not, You're done. So a big
ick for me is someone that like can't say something
without also bragging about themselves. And men do this a lot,

(11:20):
you know. Um Like for instance, if I if we're
talking about travel and I'm like, oh, yeah, you know,
I went to Iceland last year. I loved it, they'll
be like, oh, I went to Iceland to shoot my
documentary about it was so succes And I'm like, okay,
so you've been to Iceland, say love it. I don't
need to hear about Like, I don't need you to
sit here and bragg to me and inflate your ego.
But they do that. Um so that's a big it

(11:41):
to me. I don't like bragging, you know, yeah, you're
like I I'm not. That don't impress me much. In
the words of Twain, another ick to me. And this
is a toughie because I understand that it can be
very confusing about how to address this, but it's a
huge it to me when people go above and beyond
to make sure I know that they're not affected by

(12:02):
who my family is. Yeah, like they overcompensate trying to Yeah, yes,
it's not like you're dating a up and coming I mean,
it's not like you're it's not like your family as
someone people have never heard about, you know, So like
I can I actually kind of appreciate when people address
it head on, but you can address it and then

(12:24):
just leave it, like you don't need to go on
and on about like how oh you know I don't.
I really just don't care about that. Like I'm sure
she's great, but you know, I truly I just don't
care about who your sister is or or you know,
any of that. It's like, okay, but that you know,
care a little because she's my sister and I love her, right,
I need to care a little bit. But um, I
feel like the people that are truly kind of unaffected

(12:45):
by it don't need to say it. It's just kind
of something that comes across. So when when someone's like
verbally just like over the top about that and bringing
it up like a lot, it's like, okay, I don't
like bringing up how much they act like they don't
know or care? What's the fine line? I don't know
that I have a lot of single We don't have
a ton of single men, I think listening to our podcast.

(13:09):
But if they were, what's the fine line of that conversation?
Like I would say, you can say it once and
then just leave it alone unless I bring it up,
you know, being like I'm a I'm a fan of
your sister, like I love her music or your dad,
you know, and they're just yeah, yeah, But when you say, like, oh,
I don't care about that or something. It just comes

(13:32):
across weird because you know they care. It's like obviously
care or like obviously or you wouldn't even bring it up,
you know what I mean. And also you don't care,
like are you an asshole? I don't care about my family.
That's weird, Like I don't know the phrase don't care,
doesn't doesn't trans Okay, so care but not too much? Yeah, yeah,
care a respectable amount yeah. Um. And then I would

(13:54):
say the third ick is I get quite a few
guys that it like, have things to say about my
horsebacker adding hobby. Um. And it varies from different things. Uh.
It varies from like giving me shit about how much
it costs, you know, and saying like oh, well, you

(14:15):
know you are from a rich family cortrad horse or
something like that, like don't do that, Like that's not
don't do that, and then um and then also like
like sexual references to like oh you're ad horses huh,
I mean you're good and I'm like okay, now, like
horse jokes are not funny. Horse curl jokes are not
fun I would never even think about that, Like, oh,

(14:37):
they think about it. They first of all, the audacity
to even talk about the finance like you relax, I
got this, Yeah, I don't need to chime in or
have an opinion. And then the sexual Wow, it's like
they think they truly think it's funny. I think, And
it's like I never heard that one before. Yeah, god man. Yeah.

(15:01):
The idea of I'm not like a man hater by
any means I love men well, but I get it,
Like I just sometimes I'm like, how are these incredible
women expected to date these? And that's the thing is
like I feel like I know a lot of really

(15:22):
great women who are single, and I can't. I don't
think I could name more than one male, single male
that I would ever want any of my friends to
be with. You know what I mean? If you are like, oh,
do do anybody can set me up with them? Like no,
I literally I don't know anybody that's in the male
species that I would want any of my friends to

(15:42):
be with. That's exactly how I feel, Like to the
point where when I have this really amazing single friend,
I recommend Robert, my ex boyfriend, because I'm like, he's
so sweet, such a good guy. I'm like, I really
want him to find a great girl, and they're like,
that's your ex and I'm like, yeah, but he's so great.
I don't think I can do like well, I have

(16:05):
limited resources of like single great guys, and I feel
like I'm surrounded and maybe, I mean, I don't know,
Maybe I don't know if guys feel this way about
their their boys, you know, where they're like this dude
is awesome. But like, I feel like I'm surrounded by
like tense like across the spectrum. So it's it's it's

(16:27):
unsettling to know what's out there that they're talking about.
It's their horseback riding. Oh my gosh, the things people say.

(16:50):
Oh yeah, I had a question about this because you
brought up about your family. And I was at the
premiere for the movie Babylon and it was like, um,
you know, it was like Brad Pitt, Mario, Robbie, Olivia
Wild like celebrity is like the And I was in
the room with them, and I was like, because Haley

(17:10):
was going to go up and talk to um, Mario
Robbie because her mom worked with her on Titania and
say hi. But I was like, I what do you
say when you like, do you feel that when you
go to events and stuff, or do you feel like
because you've been around it and like on like they're
on such a your whole family is just like stars,
and it's like, do you just feel comfortable wherever you

(17:31):
are because you've been surrounded by it? Or do you
still feel like if you're in a room with someone
that you like respect or like love their work, do
you still get like nervous or like anxious about going
up and saying something? Yeah? Um, I definitely would say
I feel comfortable being in that atmosphere because I have
been so much and I'm always around it. Um, but

(17:52):
I would I'm not the kind of person to just
go up to somebody I don't know, regardless of celebrity status.
Like I just don't go up to strangers and start
talking to them, so that that's hard for me anyway. Um, So,
I definitely I am a bit intimidated by people sometimes,
Like Margot Robbie would intimidate me just because I think
she's so gorgeous. I literally wouldn't know what to say

(18:12):
to her. She's dope as hell, so chill, I know. Um,
I definitely like athletes really get me, Like I feel
like that's when I feel the most starstruck is like
I met Lebron James and couldn't speak you know what
I mean. Okay, Okay, so athletes so like at the
s Yeah, but I feel like probably in the music

(18:36):
like if you're in the music music atmosphere, you're probably
like whatever, yeah, totally. And and also also because I
do music, I feel like, oh, well, these people I
can like talk to these people. I can speak their language,
like I can carry a conversation. But somebody like an
athlete or or even an actor to an extent, I'm like, oh,
I just that's so out of my world and like
my comfort zone, like I wouldn't even know how to

(18:56):
carry a conversation. You know. Well, that's what I was
gonna say, because you're in the end history of like
knowing when you're comfortable doing something Like if I'm in
an like if I'm in a room of people who
what they do is like influencing or podcasting, I'm like,
I'm great. Yeah, But when I'm in a room with
people who are like celebrities, like whether it's music or

(19:19):
something that I'm unfamiliar with, I I am. But now
that you say you don't feel comfortable going up to anybody.
I'm like, maybe that's part of it too. Maybe I'm
just like that makes me uncomfortable in general. But like,
if I'm with Haley and there's someone that she really
wants to me, like if it's a director or someone
that I have no fear of being rejected by, I
will go up to them and be like, I'll act

(19:41):
like I'm her publicist or something, and I'll be like this, Um,
but yeah, I was just curious because you you grew
up so very differently than I did and for most people,
and just like if that is something you ever deal
with because you're in the industry and all these things too. Yeah,
I think I think talking to people is just intimidating,

(20:03):
probably to me in general. People I don't know, um,
but like I remember I went to like a hotel
opening or something, and I was with my best friend Kirston,
and Johnny Depp was there, Um, who else was there?
Sophia Regard's husband, what's his name, Joe magli Mad they
were there, and and she was just like beside herself

(20:26):
that Johnny Depp had walked right in front. He walked
right in front of us, you know, and I was like, oh,
I mean when it's I mean, he's cool, like I
love his movies, but like whatever, Johnny Depp. It's like,
I guess like in that sense, it doesn't when I'm
in the same room with those people, I'm like, Oh,
they're just normal people, you know. But it's the it's
the conversation that's intimidating. Yeah, because I will say, like,
when I'm in a room of people, unless like I

(20:48):
have a list of people who I would freak out over,
and it's like Jennifer Aniston, I would say, like Brad Pitt,
Margot Robbie Um, Chris Hemsworth, Like there's just like a
select where I would like panic in their presence and
be like, I don't even know what I say, but
yours as athletes? Yeah, would you like to date an athlete?

(21:09):
Does that interest you? Well? I thought I thought so,
But the last one I was an athlete, I guess
if you can call them that. And I just don't
sure did he play that we're questioning? He played hockey?
And I actually I hear that hockey guys are actually great,
so I probably just got a bad egg. But oh,
I was gonna say, I've heard they're the most um wild.

(21:35):
I mean, I don't. I think they're all wild. I
think athletes. It's like they're all I mean, and obviously
there's the exceptions, but I think you're just their lifestyles
are crazy, and they have women just like throwing themselves constantly,
you know, and they're constantly just in different cities and
traveling around and not how much. And it's just like

(21:57):
a set up for disaster. You're like, I like long distance,
but not in this way. Although you know who I
think is so hot, um Travis Kelsey from Kennas City Chiefs.
Oh yeah, he had like a reality show, right, yeah,
I think he did, which I know nothing about. I
literally just saw a clip of him on TikTok and
I was like, who's that? And I clicked and that's

(22:18):
that's who he is. And I will say, the other
thing that's hard to find these days is somebody age appropriate.
Oh yeah, well, and he he is age appropriate. But
for the most part, I feel like the single available
men are very much younger than me, or much much older,
Like it's the thirties, thirties, pool is shallow, slim, pickens

(22:39):
wait is he is? He? Is? He in a relationship.
I have no idea. Oh dang, we're gonna we're gonna
have to figure that out after this. Probably not my age,
probably not. What's your range of like older or younger?
Have you ever dated younger? Like much younger? Much older?

(23:01):
I don't think everyone I've dated has been Usually usually
they're just like a couple of years younger than me,
like one or two years younger. I would say, Um,
I really feel like the youngest I would go is
thirty okay, um, And the oldest I would probably go
is maybe forty five. What are maybe, okay, you meet

(23:24):
someone who's forty seven? What are the like things that
would because sometimes I feel like the older men you
go like the question a lot, which I don't know
if it's fair, because I would hate if people did
this to women. But it's like why are you? Yeah? Yeah,
I mean I would guess that most are divorced, which

(23:48):
is fine. I mean I think that if you are
going to exclude divorced men from who you're willing to
date you, then you're going to be alone forever. Like
that's just the reality we live in. As people get divorced,
it's very common, and um that doesn't really scare me
a whole lot. I feel like in some ways, somebody
that's divorced would actually have learned a lot in that

(24:10):
prior relationship and hopefully done some work right and so
that when they go into another one they are better
prepared to make it work. Um. Also, like older is
kind of appealing to me in the sense of, like,
I don't really want kids, which is very the hot topic.
So dating older was nice for me because I'm like,

(24:30):
hopefully they're old enough that they don't want kids or
they've already had them, and I'd be a great step mom. Wait,
this is a good conversation because I don't know if
you if you experience this, but my whole life, I always, like,
growing up in the South, fought I wanted to have
kids and be married by I was like, I'll be
married with two kids, like l O l at my

(24:51):
life plan and how that went down. But now I
know that I love kids like I love babies. I
love kids, but I I love giving them back, you know,
Like I love that I'm not having to wake up
earlier be you know, make the sacrifices. And I think
it's obviously different when it's your child. But this is

(25:11):
a conversation I've been like having recently because it's changed
so much than what I thought it would be. Have
you always known that you didn't want kids or is
that more recent? No, it's kind of I've kind of
always felt that way. I just I haven't ever had
that desire where I'm like, oh, I want kids so
bad one day or that's I've never like pictured my
life like that, and I've never like I know people

(25:33):
that are just like, oh, I just want to be
pregnant so bad. Like I don't know what that's like.
That's sounds miserable to me. I don't want to do that. Um,
And I like, kids are fine, but I've never like
I never babysat when I was younger, except for my
own siblings, but you know that was my force. But
I I just don't have a lot of experience with
young kids, and it's just not not ever been something

(25:53):
that I wanted to do. UM. But I don't know,
Like I think it's just tough because we are kind
of raised to think like, oh, you you should have kids,
and you should do it by this age, and this
is what you should be doing. And like my mom
had three kids when she was my age three, and
that is so crazy to me. I just can't even
imagine life like that, you know what I mean? Um,

(26:16):
And so I think, like I get I get shipped
on a lot for saying that I don't want kids,
but I just, you know, I don't know why I
think that it should be. I should think it should
be a little bit more normalized. Like if as a woman,
if I want to prioritize my career, you know that,
or my relationship, my you know whatever, other relationships, that
that should be Okay. Well, I do think more people

(26:36):
are talking about it now now, more than ever being
comfortable saying like I don't know if that's what I want,
because it's been so expected that, like as a women,
that's what we want to have, like that's what we
want for our lives. But I do. I mean, in
my mind, I'm like, why wouldn't we If someone doesn't
want that, if they don't want that for their life,
why would we encourage them for the child's sake? Like

(26:59):
why would we encourage that? So I do I think
it's like important to like that people are talking about
it more normalizing it because I do think especially our
age group. It's like what you know, and it's not
to be you know, to say like we don't like
babies or we we hate the idea of kids. It's

(27:21):
just saying like, yeah, I don't know if that's what
I see for my life. And it's a big shift.
So this is why the idea of being a stepparent
is very appealing to me. But like like an older
step like like you're saying like the kids are like
a little bit older, yes, because I actually I really
like hanging out with kids that are like in the twelve,
like twelve to sixteen year old range. Like like when

(27:43):
I was younger, I would volunteer um at like church
camp in the summer for middle schoolers, you know, and
so I like, I mean good at that. I'm good
at that middle school age. There's a couple of girls
at Red Horses with me at my barn, and they're
like fourteen fifteen, and they're so fun because you have
that more of that like sister relationship. They they they're
they're young enough that they think you're cool and they

(28:03):
want to hang out with you, you know, um, but
they're old enough that like you don't have to like
watch your language around them and stuff like that. So
what are the fourteen year old like now? Like I
was very different at fourteen than Oh, it's so scary.
They talked to boys through snapchat and snapchat only and
they send each other pictures of like a quarter of
their face back and forth. No text. Wait, the guys

(28:26):
do too. Guys do it too? Yeah? Or the guys.
The guys will send photos like at this angle, like
the phone's like down low, and they're just like it's
like half their face looking at the phone. It's the
weirdest thing I've ever seen. I'm like, you guys are
absolutely nuts. And that's how they know if they like
each other. If they get like the quarter of the
face yes, or the down angle, that's like, oh he's

(28:46):
into me. Yeah. Also, all these middle schoolers are like
all these boys are like sending picks from the gym.
I'm like, I feel like in middle school, I didn't
know any boys that went to the gym unless they
were forced because of their sport, you know what I mean. Like,
these guys live for the gym and they're fourteen years old.
It's it's unreal. How do they get to the gym?
Drops them all guess. I mean, I guess as a

(29:09):
parent you're like, yeah, whatever keeps you entertained, like, go
for it. Yeah, I guess they're like, this is better
than the alternative that they could be doing. Wow, that's
very different than what I was doing it. Yeah, it's fascinating.
They are still making out cars, which kept up tradition. Yeah,
I kept that up. That's the place, um, you know,

(29:29):
find find an empty parking lot, makeup car, what car?
Whose car? They've got older friends, I guess, and like
the whole friends will drive, you know, drive them to
the parking lot and go do something and let them
make out in the car. I don't know, it's crazy. Wow,
Well I'm glad to know the car makeout. So I've
stayed insistent throughout the generations. So we normally do emails

(30:09):
where we people like rite in for advice. So normally
I have our producer Mark read them, but he's not here,
so I'm going to read them and then we're just
going to give these people advice. Um. So the first
one is from anonymous and they say, and the last
year I've grown pretty close to my to a girl
who I would say is now one of if not
only my my only best friend. Our boyfriends are also

(30:32):
good friends, and we all have a great time hanging
out together, and we're all very close. I don't really
have any other girlfriends, and I really value her friendship
and feel as though she would do anything for me.
The only thing that makes me uncomfortable in our friendship
is the amount she judges and talks negatively about other people.
She will frequently comment on other people's, other women's weights, looks,

(30:52):
and outfits. It makes me sad for others to hear
her say mean things about these people we don't even know.
I'm all about empowering women and supporting whatever outfit or
makeup choices people make, So I never know how to
respond to these comments. I usually end up just totally
changing the subject. But how can I kindly point out
that she shouldn't judge others so harshly and talk crap
about people. I normally want to want to be friends

(31:14):
with someone like that, but she is very loyal and
kind to those she is close with. Does this make
her toxic? And should I move on from this friendship? Interesting? So,
I I have a friend that I I feel like
that my friend isn't so extreme about it. But I
do have a friend that it's kind of her thing,

(31:36):
you know, to talk shit, and um, I'll say that
I feel like that stems from insecurity on her end. Right.
It's like usually when people feel the need to comment
negatively on other people, it's that an insecurity thing on themselves,
and that's kind of their mechanism for coping with it. Um.
So what I heard to do with that friend is,

(31:56):
first of all, I definitely don't feed into comments like that.
Then she makes like I think she wants you to
laugh or wants you to like agree or whatever, and
I just I just purposefully don't do that. Um. And
then on the flip side of it, I feel like
I try to do my best to like build her
up in any way I can just not not not
not specifically like when she's making this comments which just

(32:17):
kind of all the time, just make sure that she
knows that I think she's cool and I think she's beautiful,
I think she's awesome, you know what I mean, Just
kind of do what I can to kind of build
up her confidence, because I think that's where it stems from.
So for me, I'm like, if you can kind of
like fix that whole issue, not fix it, but like
and that issue then then that then the you know,
the ship talking will decrease, is the idea. I also

(32:40):
think that like maybe when she says something negative about
something or someone you like, you counter it with something
positive about that person, Like she was like, oh, did
you see how ugly your shirt is? Like I thought
she looked really cute and I really liked her hair.
And I think that subconsciously people like sometimes when I

(33:00):
feel like I'm being negative or I'm in a bad
mood or something, and then someone else counters it and
they're like positive or like, I remember, Jojo is really
good about this. Where I'll say something, I'll be like, oh,
like complain about something, She's like, yeah, but you know
we're so lucky, or you know, she'll just counter it
with like an attitude where I like check myself and
without her even having to tell me, like hey, like

(33:22):
don't be negative or something I like and going our
way And maybe, I mean, I don't know, maybe that's well,
let's hope this this friend is self aware enough to
be able to check herself. But I think if you,
like Brandy said, like, don't feed into it. And also
maybe counter it with something positive. That's a way of like,
maybe there will be changed there. But also I always

(33:43):
wonder when people talk poorly. I typically don't surround myself
with people who speak badly about other people, but I'm
always like if they did. I've always seen that quote
of like why did they feel so comfortable telling me
about that? Like are they saying it to other people
about me? You know? So I would just you know,
try to shift the conversation. And also I agree, I

(34:06):
think it comes from insecurities of her own, because I
think we're very critical of other people when we have
a lot going on within ourselves. It's easier to focus
on them than us. Okay, this one is from Sarah.
I recently turned thirty. I've been single for upward two
of five years, hardly even a potential suit or at

(34:28):
any point in that time frame, and I'm at that
point in my life where it feels like everyone around
me is getting married, engaged, starting families, and I'm looking
around at all these festivities as the only single one.
It often feels like finding my person isn't in the
cards for me, and having kids feels further and further
away as even being a possibility. What secks even more
is that my friends and relationships don't get it when

(34:48):
I know if the tables were turned, they would be
struggling just as much as me, if not more. How
do you cope with being happy for everyone in your
life when you feel like you're being left behind? I mean,
I'm a little older than than than her, I'm thirty five,
but I will say I like thirty. When I was thirty,

(35:08):
I was also in a position where I hadn't dated
anybody in five years at all, and like zero zero
zero prospects, nobody I was interested in at all. And
shortly after that, like around thirty, what was I like?
Thirty one or thirty two is when I met my ex,
the one that was like I was still in love
with or what not? Um, And so I would say

(35:30):
to her specifically, like, I know, thirties seems old or older,
but you're really just still so young. I mean, so yeah,
and you still have so much time and um and
I think like the more you focus on trying to
meet somebody, I don't know, there's something to be said
for like, as soon as you stop trying, it happens
for you, you know what I mean? So you're like

(35:50):
everywhere you go if you're just looking for that person.
My advice would be like, just stop looking, really trying
to focus on yourself because something my friends even tell
me now at thirty five, because most almost all of
my friends are in relationship which are married, and they're like,
you know, I know it sounds cheesy, but just enjoy
the time you have with yourself because relationships are really hard,

(36:11):
and it's really hard to live with someone and not
have any personal space and any alone time. Like and
I think a lot of people in relationships are in
marriages kind of look back on that and they're like, oh, man,
I really kind of wish I had appreciated that more. Um,
And so I think if you can kind of turn
your focus to appreciating this alone time, appreciating being able
to do what you want and spend your time doing
you know, whatever you want to do, and really focusing

(36:33):
on just better in yourself and things that you're passionate about,
I think that person will come. And I do think
there's something to be said for you know, it comes
when you least expected and you're not looking. I agree.
I mean, I feel like just with anything in life,
the more you are able to let go of the
control of like forcing something to happen, the more things

(36:54):
fall into place. It's so true. My shirt when I
met Haley said no time for romance, Like that is
the funniest thing ever, Like I was so not looking
for anything, Like I was just having so much fun
being single. And I I think that no matter if
you're single, if you're married, if you're in a relationship,
the grass is always greener, Like you have to be

(37:16):
able to look at your life where you are and
find contentment in that, because as soon as you meet someone,
there's gonna be a moment where you go like maybe
I maybe I wish I would have appreciated that time
where I was just learning to love myself more so
I agree. I think it's like focus on yourself, learn
to love yourself, learn to be in it, and and

(37:37):
let it be hard, like it's okay for it to
be hard, and like being around people who are all
in different life phases. But also maybe branch out and
maybe try and meet people who are in the same
position as you, because I think like it's hard to
um like go out and meet people if all your
friends are like single or have families because they're like,
I don't want to go out. I want to be
at home, and you're like, I'm trying to go, like

(38:00):
go on on the town. You need someone to go
with me. So I think it's just like finding a
balance of you know, letting yourself be like, dang, I
really want that, and also like, but it's going to
happen when I least expect, and just you know, stay
hopeful in that regard and put yourself out there like
you can't like you do have to, Like it might

(38:21):
be scary to put yourself out there to go on
dates or get on dating apps, but even just getting
on an app and learning to like talk and flirt
and banter, I think is a great practice for putting
yourself out there in the dating world. And the more
dates you go on at least you'll be finding out,
if anything, what you don't want. It's like you learned

(38:41):
very quickly like oh nope, that's not funny or okay, nope,
don't want that, you know, and then when you do
meet the right person and it'll just be more clear.
I think. So I definitely agree with you, like, go
on as many days as you can. You gotta put
yourself out there, Like you can't meet anybody sitting at
home by yourself. You know. They rarely show up on
the front porch. They rarely knock on the door. Yeah,
I can't say I'm holding out for that. Are you

(39:05):
doing anything fun for the holidays? What are your plans? So?
I am staying in Nashville for Christmas, which I'm actually
thrilled about because my time at home has been very
little this year. Um. But um, the day after Christmas,
I'm flying to Miami because Miley is doing her big
NBC New Year's Show live from Miami. Um. So I

(39:27):
booked a New Year's Eve gig of my own in
Miami so I could be there and kind of spend
the week with everybody. My mom will be there too,
um And so even though I won't be with them
for Christmas, I'll see them the next day and we
have the whole week together. So I'm excited about that.
That will be so fun. Miami and Miami New Year's Yeah,
like a little work and some play. Yeah, but that's

(39:48):
the best. I get to like make a little money
and have a lot of fun. And the best part
is going to be nine degrees here on Christmas Day
and then the next day I get to leave and
go to the beach, so that nine degrees that feels miserable.
I'm actually I'm going to Louisiana and it's typically hot,
like every the past Christmas is that I can even remember.

(40:10):
It's been like in the eighties, which I like it
to be a little cozy, you know, eighty degrees in there,
like Louisiana, humidity is not it. Um, And this year
is gonna be like in the forties. So I'm like,
finally we're gonna have like a cozy, cold, normal Christmas.
So has has it been? Is this the first Christmas

(40:31):
where your parents aren't together? Is this the first one? Yes,
it's the first one, um where they've been separated. So
I think, like, I don't I don' wouldn't say that
this is the reason why we're kind of all spread
out this year, But I mean, I think it's maybe
played part of it. Like, so, my brothers live here
in Nashville, which is where I live, and my sisters

(40:52):
both live in l A. My mom's in l A,
my dad's in Nashville, so it's kind of like splits
blitz split um. So for Thanksgiving, I went out to
l A and uh, I spent that time with my
mom and Miley Noah, and then um for Christmas, like
my brother's and everybody will be here, so I feel
like I'm getting to see everyone. Um. But I think
it's kind of for the best that we're doing it

(41:13):
that way, because I think it'd be really weird if
we were all together except one of them, you know
what I mean, I don't know, And so I kind
of think the way it's not that we did this
on purpose, but I kind of think it's all it's
playing out for the best just because of that. Yeah,
And I think it's nice to be able to like,
like you have your time with your brothers and your
dad when you're at home, and then you're I mean,

(41:34):
I feel like you're in l A and like traveling
all the time. So it's nice that like at least
everyone's separated into two spots and not like totally well
I know that's I know, it's like I can't really
imagine like the challenge of navigating that. And I think
like also being you know, it's like when you're adult.
I don't know if it makes it harder easier than

(41:57):
if it happened younger, you know, you know, I think
gets easier. I think, Um, I think I'm kind of
out of place where. I mean, you know, I love
my parents and yes they're my parents, but I'm at
a at an age and a point where like I
kind of have more of a friendship relationship with the
two of them than I do, you know, parent relationship. Um,
And I think that's a good thing. Like, my mom

(42:17):
is my best friend, and she and I are just
so so close. Uh, she and Miley and I are
all three just like so close, and we really spend
so much time together and are very strategic about making
time for each other and spending quality time. And I
think that that's been so great. Um. And so like
I'm I'm glad we have more of that friendship relationship
and that makes it a little bit easier to kind

(42:38):
of stay objective about it all, you know, like I
just want everyone to truly be happy like that, And
that sounds cliche, but I think that what's happened is
the best for each of them. And yes, it can
be hurtful to us, and it's of course sad, and
it's the end of an era, but at the end
of the day, like if they're both happier, and then
I think that's great, you know. And I think as

(42:59):
an adult, I can just objectively say like, you know,
I'm happy for you, Like I'm happy you're happy. Yeah.
I'm curious because like, as you are in relationships of
your own and you go through like the process of
being in a relationship and getting together and then breaking up,
does it give you like a clearer sense of like
you're like, oh, it's like they're going through the same things,

(43:20):
like yeah, yeah, yeah, And you know, kind of circling
back to what I said in the beginning of our chat,
it's like divorce happens, like it's very common and um,
you know, it can be sad and everything, but it
can also be a happy thing for someone to get
to start over. And I don't know, I just I
feel okay about it. I don't I feel but I
feel like if I was a kid and I was younger,

(43:41):
I definitely would have a more selfish look outlook on it.
Of course, like when you're a kid, like it's hard
to not be selfish. Um, So I do think being
an adult makes it a bit easier when you like
say you have the like a friendship relationship with your parents.
Are you good at having like hard conversations if they like,
if they do something that you're what are you doing?
Are you just like do you feel comfortable having those

(44:03):
hard conversations. I do, and I'm much better at it
now than I was. Um, but I think to like
when you're a kid and when you're younger, I think
like there is sort of this weird fear of like, well,
my parents still love me if I do this or
say this, And now at thirty five, I'm like, they're
gonna let me no matter what because they gotta. So
I'm just gonna say it like it is, you know

(44:25):
what I mean. And I'm just I'm confident enough in
my relationships with them that i know that, Like I know,
at the end of the day, like that, like we
love each other no matter what, and that's what's most important.
So yeah, when they're messing up, I'm like, Okay, let
me just let's have a moment of truth here. Someone's
got to say it. That'sn't really I mean, I'm still
like I still struggle having hard conversation with my parents.

(44:47):
So I really respect that because I would love to
be like, what are you doing? Sometimes yeah, well my
mom specifically, she would do it to me. She'd be like,
what are you doing? And then yeah, they have no
problem owing it to me. Yeah, they have no problem
being the parent. Yeah, well, thank you for shutting down

(45:07):
the year with me scrubbing in and being my last
episode of the year. This is so exciting. It is.
I can't believe the years over. I know it. I
felt like, from um, Halloween on, it's gone by so
fast that I haven't even I bought one Christmas present.
I'm so stressed. I do the same thing. I wait

(45:28):
till the last minute, I know, but I told myself
I wasn't gonna do. I was like, I'm gonna order
everything onlines on, don't even have to go to them all.
And now I'm going to be just like that frantic
person elbowing people. But I'll be getting elbowed. Um. Do
you do New Year's resolutions or anything? Well, Haley and
I normally take a trip and we do like a
vision board. Um. I'm like a huge resolution person because

(45:52):
I always like I blow it in two days. So
it's like I don't even set myself up for the disappointment.
But it I always like have you know, do like
the vision board, and it's fun to like do a
craft where I can kind of you know, put it
out there. But one year I did my first vision
board I ever did. I put this like beautiful all

(46:15):
window cabin. It was just like from a magazine I
found and I put on my vision board. And two
years later we went to Vermont because we went to
see all the leaves and we stayed in this really
cool home and we get back and Haley brings me
my vision board. We stayed in the exact cabin that
was in like our digest or something no way, and

(46:36):
I was like, wait what and I locked it up
and it was literally that cabin. And I mean I
I just was saying like, oh, I want to go
somewhere where there's like trees and be like surrounded by
when you know, the leaves. And I went to that cabin.
So I'm a big believer in vision boards. What about you?
Are you? Are you a resolution setter? I'm not. I'm not. Um,

(46:59):
it's just like a lot of pressure to come up
with like a resolution, but I do. I do like
to write like a list of goals for the year,
kind of start the year with like whether you know,
like five ish just goals, just simple written down, um,
just something to manifest for the new year. No, I
think that's I mean, I think it's like I think

(47:19):
putting out there what you want to happen. Even if
you do a resolution and you fail immediately or like
it doesn't last long. I think it's just I think
it's important to just put it out there, like write
it down, do a vision board, say it out loud.
I think it's there's like power in that. And um,
I think that it's like easy to be hard on

(47:40):
ourselves when we make goals, resolutions and don't follow through.
But I think it's important to just try, you know,
like there doesn't need to be that much pressure. There's
enough going on in the world. We don't need to
put that much pressure on herself. Well, where can people
follow you on Instagram? Social media? TikTok and um tell
people where they can fight? Yeah, all the things, all

(48:02):
the things? Um yeah, Instagram, I would say, is where
I'm most active. Um at Brandy Cyrus Brandy with an I.
I do have a TikTok, but I gotta be honest,
I'm not great at it. I'm really trying try to
get better tip talk um. Also, I do have my
own podcast. It's called Your Favorite Thing, co host Wells Adams,

(48:23):
who I'm sure a lot of people here might be
familiar with from Bachelor in Paradise, and Wells and I've
been friends for so long, and so we just chat
every week about our favorite things and shoot the ship
and you know, talk to talk about a little pop
culture and stuff like that, which is fun. And then
my mom and I have a podcast called Sorry We're
Stoned that's been on hiatus for a year and we're
bringing it back at the top of next year. So
that's that's amazing. Do you know what's so funny? What

(48:44):
I remember when we first met. This was so long ago.
This isn't like I don't even know, two thousand and
sixteen or something. Oh my god, we met and I
you were telling me something about how your dad loves
to smoke weed and your mom doesn't like it. Oh yeah,
she's very against it. But now she's not. Now she's

(49:06):
the biggest stoner we know. She truly is. It's absolutely hilarious.
I mean, my parents have told us, they're like, oh, well,
now we'll tell you that, you know, when you guys
were kids, my mom was. My mom literally was like
I was so against weed that like, your dad would
have to sneak it, and we had, we had. My
dad has a lot of Native American heritage and stuff

(49:27):
in his ancestry, and so he used to have a
TP up on our hill and that was his man cave,
and that's where he would hide it, and he would
go up there to smoke weed because my mom would
be so mad if she ever caught him. So fast forward.
Now she's literally the biggest stoner and doesn't care who
knows it, which is absolutely hilarious. But I'll I gotta
say I like her better stoned. Yeah, I mean everyone's

(49:50):
like a blast when there's I mean, well, so people
turned into zombies. I actually did that yesterday at the
point that can't happen. But not my mom. She's chattier,
she's laughs more. She she loses her filter, which is
great because she's so funny and it really is just
the best thing ever. So do you'll do the podcast? Stone?
Is that like what you'll do? She does? If we

(50:13):
were both stoned, we would podcast. That's why we've been
on hiatus for a year. I actually don't smoke like
I mean I have here and there, but I just
not for me. Um. But there was one episode where
I did get stoned with her and literally when we
just laughed for forty five minutes like nothing happened. I tried,

(50:33):
I literally take edibles and I'll take like the most.
I take us five milligrams, you know, very mild, but uh,
I was. I tried to get Tommya to do it.
She won't do it though she's She's like, no, I'm
not into it. But I tried to. Um. I tried
to smoke a joint. This was last year at New
Year's Eve, actually coming up on a year. I thought

(50:53):
I was gonna die. I started choking so badly that
I was like, this is it for me? And I
could never I've never tried again because it was such
a tragic experience. And I was like, I like my
little gummies, like they're safe. I know, I know what
I'm going to feel like when I take them. They
don't hurt me with you the gummies, Yeah, the gummies
are the way. Yeah. Well, um, I hope you have

(51:16):
a wonderful holiday in New Year's and I am I
hope that I get to see you soon, maybe next
time you fly out to l A. Yeah, I'll be
out there in February for like a week. It's a
gran new week and um some stuff this other stuff
going on too, so that would be awesome. I'd love
to see you and Tanya and Haley, and yes, we
can do a dinner or something. Yeah, it'll be fun.

(51:37):
All right. Well, thanks again and I'll I'll see you
next year. See you next year.