This is Us Trying

Happy 2024! Tanya and Becca are back with reinvigorated goals for the new year! What are your Ins and Outs for 2024?? You might be surprised by what Becca plans to leave in the past.

We finally hear a story from a “trigger event” last Christmas that totally changed Tanya and Red Star’s relationship.
 
And, find out why Tanya is doing a detox in 2024 that you never considered before!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in grub a dub dub
first scrub of twenty twenty four. That's right, yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
First one, first one. It's a lucky year. Do you
know that?

Speaker 2 (00:20):
In what way?

Speaker 1 (00:20):
It's a leap year?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Mmm? So that means people who have leapier birthdays are
like having a birthday, that they actually have a birthday
this year. Correct. That's exciting for that.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yeah. And it's a lucky year to get married. I
know this because everybody sent me. There was like a
meme going around and everybody was sending it to me.
What did it say that this coming year is a
lucky year to get married.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
What is a lucky year to get married?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
I think no?

Speaker 2 (00:44):
But what does that mean? Like luck is in like
you're married, Mary, lucky, blessed?

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah, you and Ali just lucking out and looking out in.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
The blessed life. Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Well, Happy New Year, everybody. Yes, I feel like this
year a lot of people. So there's always the excitement
of like new year.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Knew me.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
You know why am I gonna change?

Speaker 1 (01:10):
What?

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Am I gonna strive for? This?

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Year.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
But then there's people who are like I get very
anxious about that pressure of like having to come up
with new things, Like you know when you're just content
and you're like, it can just be another day. Yeah,
it can just be a great day. No, no, no, I'm
saying like I saw more people talking about that side
of it, which I feel like normally it's all like

(01:34):
all the things we're gonna do and not do and
blah blah blah. Yeah, but I was like, oh, this
is interesting because there is this like that in between
time of Christmas and New Year's there is like that
you're like, what day is it? I love that personally,
Like I love the rotting of Like, tell.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
You, I discovered so much about myself in the last
eight days.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
What'd you discover?

Speaker 1 (01:54):
A lot that I feel like we can get into
because I know later, you know, a lot and a
detox that I'm doing great that I think is very interesting.
Okay maybe to some so, but I feel like we
should do New Year's a little bit later because don't
you want to talk about your Christmas?

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Oh yeah, we can talk about Christmas. It's great. I
went to Florida and then to ended up in Louisiana,
so I got to go see my parents. I love
seeing my mom's house during Christmas because I normally spend
Christmas at my sister's house in Louisiana. So I flew
into Florida to see my parents and it was nicely
went and had like the lovely dinner, and then my

(02:32):
two younger sisters flew in. And then the next day
we drove to another city in Florida, Pensacola, to see
my brother because he had a new baby in November,
so they weren't gonna be able to make the drive
to Louisiana. So we went got to see everybody. My
dad fell ill and it was very stressful, Like didn't

(02:53):
fell ill.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
I feel like everybody in my life has been sick
within the last two weeks. I know at some point.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
But let me tell you something. I was researching like
health smoothies, and I made him this like pineapple, ginger,
cayenne pepper, like spicy smoothie that's supposed to help with
like uh if you get the like flim build up.
Because a lot of people were having this like cough
that was getting in the lungs. It was really bad.
Then I was like, we can't have that, and I
got him to drink it. My dad is not someone

(03:19):
who would ever drink like a like a shot, you know,
a health shot. Never, but he was desperate, so he
started making you know, it lasted about twenty four hours
and then he was able to you know, power through persevere.
Persevere drove to Louisiana. Chaos, but so much fun. Got
to see all my little nieces and nephews and there's

(03:40):
so many of them, and it's we were saying, like
it's jarring to go from like a very quiet home,
you know it's just me, Haley and Phoebe to a
lot of things happening all at once. It's so fun.
But it is like I got home and I just
sat and stared at the TV without it. Yeah, it's

(04:01):
just in silence.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, I get that. It was like that for me
when I first started dating Robbie, because I went to
went from like my house was a museum. Everything was
perfect in its spot, it was quiet, I had background
music on to my TV like it was.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Like a spa. Didn't feel lived in.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Did not feel lived in just the way I like it.
And I went from that to having two little ones
running around and it was very jarring at first. But
now I'm now, I think I'm more used to it.
And also they're getting to the age where they're really
into like theirs stuff they're doing on the computer, so
it's like a little bit different now. But yeah, it

(04:41):
was very jarring at first.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Like they had a little a mini basketball goal, you know,
in one of their rooms, and so the youngest Memphis
wanted to play basketball, which I mean, I'm huge compared
to him, so I was like, I'll play on my knees.
So I'm on my knees on the carpet playing basketball
and I was so sore my knees were Like I
was like, shoot, I'm getting to that age where like

(05:05):
I'm sorry, I didn't have need baths to whip out
just in the midst of the eve. Yeah, but yeah,
it was. It was really fun. But I do notice
that my body goes through a shock of I got
another canker so I think the last podcast we did
out of canker stor I got another canker store in
the same place.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
What is up with that?

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Well, so you know, I had discovered that it could
be caused by sugar, because you remember the last time I
had one, I was like, I'm not stressed, and typically
it's caused by stressed or lack of sleep, and I
wasn't having those. But I did definitely have a lack
of sleep while I was gone, because I I basically
woke up at three point thirty to go to the
airport when I left, and I never really had a
great night ever. Bound never bounced back, but the knkerstore

(05:49):
bounced back. It did, and uh, it's just like today
is probably the day first day since then that I
don't feel it.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yikes.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
And I made it dentist appointment for myself, not knowing
I was gonna get a kinker sore. I was very
nervous about that. So I've been to I'm sure they
know how to, you know, I keep trying. What I
do is I go to the dentist and then because
I just hate the process of going to I hate
just being at the dentist because it's painful to me.

(06:20):
I never go back to the same dentist because I
just think that there's gonna be a dentist that can
do like well that doesn't hurt me.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Just run through every dentist in.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Town, like they all do the same thing, and they're
all like wonderful. But in my mind, I'm like, maybe
I'll find someone where it doesn't hurt. But it just
it's just uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah, the scraping, the sound, you know, but you might
be surprised by this.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
You love it.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
No, Oh, I have not gotten my teeth cleaned in
over a year.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Wow, I am shocked by that.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah. My dentist is far away. He is in Redondo Beach,
and if you do not live in Los Angeles, it's
a far jaunt in traffic, and I just never make
the time.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
It's important. I know, I hadn't been in over a year.
It's been a long time. And because I genuinely get so,
I build it up so much in my head and
I make it so much worse than it is. Like
it's not comfortable, but it's doable. I'm not like I'm
gonna be fine.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
I've lost twice a day, so I know you. Yeah,
you're a really good I'm really good Foster, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
He was great today. It's Ali's dentist. Ali goes every
three months.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
That seems a little excessive.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Why he told me I need to come every four months?
Why I think, but the way my teeth are shaped, basically,
I'm either I'm either I feel like I foss more
than ever this year, which wasn't like every single day,
but I f lost like pretty consistently. And he said
my gums like waiting really bad. So he was like,
you should come every four months and just to be consistent.

(07:54):
So I said my appointment.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
I did. You're one of those people. What that makes
your appointment for the next dental visit before you?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Otherwise I will not do it.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
It's just I do that too.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Oh you do. Yeah, I don't because I don't know
how my schedule in like six months.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, it's just on there though. It's more like a reminder,
like I can cancel if I need to, but it's
there for me to know that in this general vicinity
of time, I need to get my teeth.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Doe got it? Okay, cool? Nice.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
So anyways, I didn't cry. I didn't have any cavities. No,
I've literally.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Cried the dentist. This is a real.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
And the receptionist told me she was really proud of me.
So it was it was great.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah, no, no, notes great, great, I'm proud of you.
Thank you. So much.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
How was your Christmas?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Uh? My Christmas was really really, really nice. So I
went to Robbie and I went to the Bahamas for
a few days before Christmas, and then we came back
the day before Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve Eve, went down
to San Diego and spent just like forty eight uninterrupted
hours with like my family, my niece, my my nephew.

(09:01):
So it was really cute. Did nothing but like eat
and sit and just like whatever bedrot or whatever, but
not in the bed in my sister's house, okay, but
just like rotten. And it was amazing. But my sister
got me this book for Christmas, and like, so my
sister is a psychologist, so everything, so I know this
is done with love and a good heart. And she

(09:25):
said it's one of her favorite books of all time.
This is one of my favorite books. A lot of
good lessons in here. I open it up and says,
act with love, stop struggling, reconcile differences, and strengthen your
relationship with acceptance and commitment therapy. And I was like,
should I be concerned that you were giving me this book?
But apparently it's like a book that she thinks every

(09:49):
couple should read it before they get married or like
during their marriage, like a good couple's therapy book. But
I just thought it was so funny because it's like
so like, open up and be fully present with your partner,
increase intimacy, connection and caring, and reduce conflicts and resolve differences,
build a rich and meaningful relationship. I was like, that's
so thoughtful. Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Let me see I would have the same reaction.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
I was like, the first chapter two, should I stay
or should I go? I'm like, that's a great gift.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
And this is a fully revised and updated second edition,
And so.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
That's what she said. She goes, I love the first edition.
I don't know if they made any changes to the
second edition, but it was it was given with good intent.
But I was laughing so hard reading the chapter names
and stuff, because I'm like, is this like an SOS.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
There's a drawing on the cover of two people hugging
each other, look like they're getting over a major conflict.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
The dramatic books I bought when Haley was on tour
and I was having a hard time.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
It was like, and you would send them to her? No.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
I bought them for yourself, but I never read them
because then she got home and every we've been over
saying okay, we started therapy again.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
But yeah, so I am going to read this and
I will, you know, give any nuggets that I find,
I will bring them to the podcast to share.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
I think you are going to love it, and I
think you're going to be able to be like this
changed a lot.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yeah, do you feel do you feel is there a
feeling as though.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
You don't need as much relationship tidbits now that you
have a ring? Do you feel like No?

Speaker 1 (11:26):
I don't think so, because I feel like there's always
stuff that you can be better at in your relationship,
Like there's always stuff that's coming up. But I do
feel like a major source of conflict in our relationship
was waiting, So like, when are we getting engaged? Oh
my god. I never told this story on the podcast
about the president he gave me last year because it
was triggering so us. Yeah, but now that we're in

(11:48):
the clear, I feel like I can share it. Should
we Oh, take a break, break, We'll be right back.

(12:10):
All right, we're back.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
So you you before you got the ring, before y'all
got engaged, before Robbie proposed. Yes, you had been waiting
for over a year. Yeah, that to happen. Yes, And
we've never talked about this because it was a trigger.
It was so as a trigger event. Yeah, and you're

(12:32):
ready to tell your truth.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Share I'm trying to share the truth. Yeah, okay, So
this was so this was Christmas twenty twenty three that
we just had So Christmas twenty twenty two. Yeah, we
had been having conversations and I've always been honest about this.
This is the push and pull of our relationship was
I was ready to get engaged after like nine months
of dating and he was not. So meeting in the

(12:55):
middle was like always are uh, I don't know what
the word is. Meeting in the middle was always our
biggest compromise. Yeah, like what is the middle exactly? You
know he's not ready? I am, so where does that
take you? So I feel like around my birthday, So
it was July of that year, twenty twenty two, I

(13:16):
started really feeling like, Okay, I'm gonna basically give him
some sort of not timeline, but say like okay, let's
I want really want to get engaged within this like
this year, like this is this is it? Like let's
You've told me you're ready to make this commitment, so
like let's do it. So, without getting into too much detail,

(13:36):
there was we had a uh, we had a sickness
in the family come up, and so that really kind
of put and I understood it put like a dark
cloud over just our lives in general. And so for
Christmas that year, he I have to like set the

(13:57):
scene because it was so it was Christmas morning and
we're waking up Christmas morning and he goes, I want
to give your gift now, and I was like okay,
and he pulls out this box and I'm like, oh
my god, Like this is not how I envisioned this happening,
but like okay, and I'm like alert and like fixing
myself up like first thing in the morning, you know,

(14:18):
put my robe on and I'm like getting yourself up
with the rope, yeah, sitting up straight. And I was like,
oh my god, it is happening. And he was like,
I just want you, you know, to know, like this
is so I open it and it's a ring, but
it's not a ring ring. It's like a band and
he was like, I just want you to know, like
this is a sign of my commitment, like commitment to you,

(14:44):
and I'm ready to take the next step. And he'd
gotten it engraved with like the pillars of our relationship,
things I always talk about and it was really meaningful
and sweet, and I just lost it. I started crying
because I was like, this is not what I wanted.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
You got me a promise ring, yeah, basically.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Like a promise It wasn't a promise ring, but like, yeah,
essentially a promise ring. And I put it on and
it was like three sizes too big and I was
just like, what am I gonna wear this on my thumb?
It wouldn't even fit my thumb. And I was just like,
and he goes, are you upset? And I was like, no, no,
it's really sweet and I understand and I get it.
I know why, you know through tears through tears. And

(15:21):
it's so funny because I look back at photos from
Christmas of last year and like, you can tell, like
I can, I can tell in myself that my eyes
were like puffy because but like I was trying to
hide it because it was a really sweet gesture and
it was meant all meant well, but I was just

(15:43):
not it. It was a nice. Meaning I have to
find the pictures from Christmas of last year because I'm
curious if you saw this and could tell that I had, like.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
I can see you just hear that you look very
swollen and plate and fresh tears.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, here's the photo I got. Said what I asked
for a picture of it to try to make her
hand look as like masculine as possible.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
So it's very funny because I put it back in
the box and I just like left it like in
the bathroom like I never wore itized. No, I didn't
get it sized like, I just never wore it. I
kept it in the in the thing. And after we
got aged, Robbie was like, can I wear it? Do
you mind if I take it put it on like
a like a chain and wear it around my neck?

(16:44):
And I was like, oh, I love that idea. Are
you kidding me? So now he wears it a lot,
like it's like his everyday necklace. It's like a chain
with that ring around it.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
That's really nice.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, we've come full circle.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Literally and figuratively, literally.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
And figuratively, but yeah, that was that was that was something.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
There were many moments where we were like, it's it's
gonna happen like that was.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
It though, Like Christmas last year. I was like, yeah, yeah,
my gosh, I can't believe it. The boss bring, I know.
I was like, and I know what he meant, Like
he meant well obviously, like it was good intentions, but
like if.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
It was anyone but you, it would have been like
very well received, very well received, right right right?

Speaker 1 (17:30):
You were looking for something else, a rock a rock
on that on that band and it was songs, Yeah, yeah, sons. Yeah.
So now we've come full circle and uh, it's beautiful.
It's a beautiful ring. Maybe we might use it as
his wedding band. Actually, oh wow.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
It's just a little bit him like for him, yeah,
like but this is just so funny, is he?

Speaker 1 (17:55):
It was the ring size that I thought I was,
so he did get me the right side and men's
and men I don't know. Definitely looked like.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
Like ring size the same as men of like shoe
sizes for men and women.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, but yeah, we might use it as his wedding band. TVD.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Speaking of jewelry shopping, I'm shopping before Christmas and I
run into Sophia Bush. Oh wow, we're just keep crossing paths. Yeah,
she was so nice because I didn't see her. She
had a mask on, so she like tapped me. I
was like hey, and like hold she did. I know,
she's so sweet.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
We're in what are you? Are you embarrassed to ask
her to come on? No? Not all.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I remember when Easter kind of lightly brought it up
and she's like, oh, that's so cute.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
So what's what is it? What's stopping you?

Speaker 2 (18:46):
Well, I don't see her, like I know she has
her own podcast, but I don't see her on a
lot of podcasts like that are like ours.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, she doesn't like do guest stuff.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
Yeah, but often so I just start to everything.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah. I just want our podcast to be like in
its highest form when we have her on.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
Well, nothing better than a new Year yeah, but maybe
like a cool studio space, you know. Okay, yeah, so
wait till we elevate.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
Yeah yeah, right sure, speaking of I was listening to
our podcast from our first podcast of the year in
twenty twenty three.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Do you know it was supposed to be a scrub Aissance?

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (19:25):
Did it happen? No, don't work. So I got all
this applies to make a new vision board for us
this year. Oh yeah, I made a vision board. You know,
no I met for the podcast. Oh this is this
is not for me nor for you. Oh you and
I were going to do this together.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Oh yeah when.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
I don't know later great, but I know we didn't
have a scrub assance. But I did have a renaissance
that year. That was my word last year, and it like,
really stuck.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
I can't remember my word last year.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Well what's the point making one? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
But I also didn't make a vision board last year,
so maybe that's where it ran a while. Just went
off the rails.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
Rogue, rogue? What'd you do without a vision? Just came
up with it? Just winged it, yeah, just winged it,
all winged it.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
But I was trying to think of my word for
this year. But I was like, was this my word
last year? I can't remember.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
Impactful word? It sounds like.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, hard to say. So your word this year's try yes,
which was a hint before we left for Christmas. There
was a little nod to that because you got your necklace,
you have your initials on it.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
Yeah, he did good this year. This was my Christmas
this year.

Speaker 2 (20:39):
Good job, Robbie.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, good job, Robbie.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
My new initials and your new initials are try Tanya
rad Yadagar.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Which is like the most Tanya thing ever. Yeah. The
fact that my initials are the word try feels so
meant to be.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
And I find it interesting that you chose This is
Me Trying as your song as a host to mirror Ball.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
So it was a play on the word try. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
But in miraball she goes I've never been in natural.
All I do is.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Try, try, try, yeah. So it was more for like
people that don't know Taylor, you know, like if I
put mirror Ball, people wouldn't get it. They'd be like that,
what does mirable have to do with try? You know
what I mean? But This is Me Trying is quite
a sad song. It's so sad.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
It's about it's literally about it's about like addiction.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, so that's not the theme of the song. Is
not quite what I want my ear to look like.
It's like the name of the song, this is Me Trying.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
You could have gone with Macy Gray try what is that?

Speaker 1 (21:40):
Try to say goodbye? And that choke try to walk
away and I stumble no, I try to have it.
It's clear my world crumbles when you are not there.
Used change, Yeah, not quite the vibe I was going
twenty four.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Maybe I've been away from me al for too long,
but that kind of sounded good.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
It's the tone in her voice. It's easy to mimic.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Easton's harmony really came through anyways.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Anyways, to try, Yeah, what is that?

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Encompass? Like, what what does it look like for you?

Speaker 1 (22:18):
So when you define the word try, it's like to oh,
what is it? It's like to attempt, to attempt to accomplish,
to attempt to accomplish. And to me, there is no
more defining term of a modern woman than to try
or what did I say again? To attempt to accomplish.
That is the definition of a modern woman. To attempt

(22:41):
to accomplish. So this year I'm going to attempt to
accomplish many different things. So it does such as well
for starters. I mean, it's only the second day of
the year, so it's brand new. But I really want
to start my days off with warm water and lemon
instead of coffee, and so I've been doing that, and
it's gonna be interesting when I'm waking up at four

(23:04):
in the morning and trying to make my warm water
with lemon before my coffee.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Oh it makes me nauseous when I try to do it.
It's the this acid with the warmth. It didn't do it.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Just a little lemon. I don't like squeeze a whole lot.
Oh there. Yeah, just like a pinch of lemon. Ye
warm water.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
It's really good.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
So that's what I'm trying to do this week year. Yeah,
but I'm going to do new stuff. I'm gonna try
new stuff every week. I love that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Did you make an ends and outs list?

Speaker 1 (23:31):
I did not?

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Did you? Yeah? Did you have a word for this year?

Speaker 3 (23:35):
In twenty twenty three? My word was harmony. I was
trying to find better harmony in my life.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
Did you that?

Speaker 3 (23:42):
Kind of not?

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Really?

Speaker 3 (23:44):
This year my word is Cocomo.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (23:47):
What is that's?

Speaker 3 (23:49):
It's a club, It's a place in Indiana. It's also
a fictional island that the Beach Boys sing about. But
I want to relax more and do more stuff that's
not work. Twenty four Yeah that's Michael.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah, because here's the thing. I feel like you do
so much, but you're always working, Like you're always doing
it because you're working.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
Yeah, exactly, and I'm lucky that my work is cool
and interesting, but also it's it's work, so it's annoying,
and I want to spend more time with my wife
and just doing fun stuff like you would do on
the island of Kokomo.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
So I tell you I love the intent behind it,
the symbolism. Symbolism.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, my word for this year is well, I have
two because.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
I can't remember.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
That's I can't remember last year, so I'm making up
for it. I am curious what my word was because
I'm wondering if.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
I obviously I wouldn't work on it.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Okay, my word for this year. One of them is relinquished,
because I want to let go of like meeting your
word last year. No, no, no. But the other one's completion,
because I find that I start things, or I have
ideas of things, and I never follow through, whether it's
like fear of failure or fear of it not working out,
or just like becoming bored by it. And I really

(25:09):
want to be able to like start things and complete
them in a way where even if it wasn't the
best thing I ever did, just like being able to say,
like I started this and then I finished it having
that like sense of pride and like completing something.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
So it started with the vision board, because I gotta
be honest. We did it on New Year's Eve and
I took an.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
Edible and I got I didn't finish it.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
No, everyone else was like really into theirs getting them glued,
and I hadn't even like I had ripped out things.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Yeah, phase one hmmm.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
I gone through phase one and then I just was
like in the kitchen eating, like watching everyone, giggling to myself.
And then I was like, heyley, guys, are you gonna
do your vision board? And I thought I should do
this because I want my My word's gonna be completion.
So I want to start on this and I finished it.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Wow, you know what you should do? Tell me? We
should make you something that says the word completion and
put it up somewhere that you see it daily, so
that you can know that that's your focus for the
year and not only not forget, but also gear your
decisions through that lens.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Well, it feels like something I'm gonna have daily where
I think about it because it's like even a small
as like choosing to declutter a space instead of just
like starting and then stopping because I get distracted by
something else, being like, no, you gotta this is like
you know what you're striving to do. So I think
it's gonna hit me in the face, like every day nice,

(26:38):
thanks so much.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
So I try to find your word from twenty twenty
three and I found I did not, but I found
this interesting thing on a Hayley Kyoko fan message board.
So someone said, someone said Becca's cousin is so sweet
in her recent Instagram post. Harmony is indeed the word
for twenty twenty three for Becca.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
Oh okay, so it was harmony?

Speaker 3 (26:57):
No, I mean, harmony was my word. I said that
on the podcast last year. So I mean, but maybe
your cousin posted about harmony too. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
I feel like that could have been your word last
year because it does sound.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
You gave me a bracelet with the word harmony, But
that wasn't my words.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
It was I gave you a bracelet with the word
you chose for me. Yes, yes, yes, okay, this is
all coming.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Together all right.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Wow, that took a term, right right. I assigned all
my friends up sign. I assigned all my friends words
that I wanted.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
For them for the new Year. Yeah, yeah, yeah hard.
I didn't have a harmonious year. I think that's good in.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
A lot of ways, the fact that I assigned you
all words.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
So do you want to know some of my outs
and ins?

Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (27:55):
I do, so out these are some of my outs
talking mean about my body, Yeah, I said, unless it's
Salley or Ali, because sometimes it's like funny. It's like
we go back and forth and it's not like funny,
it's kind of funny.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
It's not funny.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
Well it's not funny to Hailey, but Ali and I
do go back and forth.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
It's kind of funny, but it's not funny. But you
know why you're putting that energy into the universe and
we want to.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Stay Okay, this is my list? Is my list talking
about age because I feel like I've like gotten to
this habit where all of a sudden, I turned thirty
five and I'm like, oh, I feel so old. I
feel blah blah blah, and I like don't want to
be that person.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
I hate.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
I've always hated when people do that, when they talk
about we're so young. I know, but like I've always
been like, I mean, you do thirty five? Is that
It's kind of that weird age because I've never thought
about the number of the age I'm turning, and thirty
five is the first year where I was like, hmm,
that's interesting, mm hmm. But I don't want to talk
about that anymore. So go back to that cluttered spaces.

(28:52):
I want to have like clean, open spaces. Feeling guilt
for being lazy, because sometimes you just gotta be lazy,
not finish task. Bad sleep and staying up late.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Oh wow, what's in.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Having a sleep routine, a healthy sleep routine, being outside more,
less screen time, more conversations with strangers.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
Like safely wait, pause for one second. Do you want
to hear the craziest thing? Yes, maybe I'm flying out.
I flew out to the Bahamas by myself, without Robbie.
He came out a day after me. So the person
I was sitting next to me on the plane was like,
this man, I don't know how old he was, let's see,
it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, but we end up

(29:37):
chumming it up, talking the whole like a good amount
of the flight, got his backstory, talked about his kids
and da dah. So like, right, I like know this
man depart the plane, goodbye, I have a nice vacation.
We're getting back on the plane to go home. And
guess who's sitting next to Robbie. O guy, the same man. Yeah,
and this time he was with his family and I
was with Robbie, and so I was like, oh my gosh,

(29:58):
I got to meet his sons and his wife. Even
he got to me Robbie. And then I switched seats
with him so that I could sit next to Robbie.
He said, here's my wedding gift to you. Probably was like, shoot,
He's like, who is this guy?

Speaker 2 (30:11):
That's crazy? Like what are the chance of.

Speaker 1 (30:13):
All the people I know? Thank you? Anyways, back to
your strangers, But.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Yeah, having more conversations with strangers.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
I learned from this man. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
I actually was like open to having a conversation with
my flight buddy on the way back, but she didn't
seem interested, so I didn't force it, but I was
like open to it.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
That's step number one.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Thank you, more cooking, less food delivery. Nice decluttering. I said,
intentional time, as in like having intentional time with people
where it's not work based, it's not anything, my phone's
not on the table, It's just like intentional one on
one time doing things that the people that I love

(30:54):
love phones, staying in my purse at dinner out or
just out of sight, traveling to new places, trying new
things even when scared, completing projects, and hosting dinner parties.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Yeah, that's cute. So I watched this thing on Instagram.
I don't know it was this guy, but he was
talking about the power of the phone.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
Did you post it?

Speaker 1 (31:19):
I posted it, but I got so many dms about it.
I was like, Wow, this really struck a chord with me.
So I was like, obviously it's striking a card with
a bunch of other people. But he was like giving
this ted talk and he goes, he was talking, he
didn't have his phone. He goes, do you feel differently
now if I bring my phone out and I'm holding
my phone like this, just holding it here. I'm not
looking at it, but I'm just holding it. And I
was like, yeah, I actually do feel different like I do.

(31:41):
And he goes, so, what do you think when you're
out to lunch or dinner with somebody and your phone
is on the table And he goes, oh, you know,
you think you're being courteous and you flip it over
so you can't see it. And I was like, that's me,
Like I'm the girl with the phone flipped over on
the table. And I was like, i don't want to
do that anymore because I'm not looking at it. I
don't know why I have it there. It's not necessary
to start putting it in my purse when I'm out

(32:02):
to eat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Done, I'm with you.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
I'm over it.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
I'm with you.

Speaker 1 (32:07):
I'm tired of being rude, tired of being rude. Rude
is out. Yeah, rude is out present. You know what
else is out?

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Is uh commenting mean things on public platforms, which it's
always been out, But in my mind, I'm like, if
someone does something shocking, okay, if I see someone in
there dating someone, or it's something I don't like, or
it's a celebrity information where I'm like, what is this?
I have a reaction to it. At the very most,

(32:35):
I'll send it to a friend and have a private
conversation about it and be like, what this is crazy?
But commenting a rude, hurtful things on a public platform
or public person's social media is out. Yeah, do it
with your friends.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
That's always been outfying.

Speaker 2 (32:57):
It's just crazy. I just am like, I can't imagine
going on and saying I'm not someone who's like I
never gossip, Like I have private conversations about things, but
it's like to hurt go on someone's page and say
something that's like hurtful to someone's heart. I don't get it. Yeah, personally,
So that's out.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah, that bold stands the new stands. Yeah, so that's
that for me.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
You don't have any off the top of.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Your head, ins and outs, No, but I will tell
you that I totally started off the year with a
major bucket list moment because I was a part of
Dick Clark's New Year's Rocket Eve with Ryan Seacrest. Hold On, yeah,
I mean, let's give it up for the name.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
No, can we just talk about how what is.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
It just gonna be Ryan Seacrest New Year's Eve?

Speaker 2 (33:53):
You did not? You were like, oh, yeah, I have
to do this like New Year's Eve thing, Like you
under sold it. So I literally had no idea what
she was doing. She was like, do you have a
dress second borrow or do you have any outfit ex
and borrow? I was like, oh yeah, She's like I
just she came over the day before, just like very
much casual, let me see what you have.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Oh yeah, this will work. She's like literally on the
biggest New Year's evening. Ever, why did you do that?

Speaker 2 (34:18):
What do you mean? Why did I did you under like?
Why did you just act like it was just this
weird thing that they were having you do locally?

Speaker 1 (34:24):
That's how you sold it to me? Because well, first
of all, I didn't know. I don't know. I don't
like to get to hype because I'm like there's always
I feel like you don't know if you're doing something
until like you've done it, you know what I mean.
So I think I was just like cautioning myself of
to be excited.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah, I think that should be out for twenty twenty four.
I think you should celebrate big when you get opportunities
that are exciting. Yeah, and I under sell yourself.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
I'm with you. But yeah, it was the craziest thing,
and like, I don't know, it's just really really really
really cool. And I'm obsessed with Genie. So Genie I
was the host of the LA portion of New Year's
Rock and Eve. So she's the how that I was
with and she was just the coolest. I've always just
been such a big fan of hers. She's like, honestly
just so. But I'd love to have her back.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
If she's she's great.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, she's great.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
And now she's a mom. Wow going through a divorce.
Oh man, I know it actually doesn't seem so good
because I feel like all the things I see about
it online are just like always popping up. But she
seems she seems like when I saw her to be
in really good spirits and like just really really thriving.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Yeah, love her.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah. It was funny because someone's like, did you do
the routine? You know, like the Ross and Rachel routine.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
I we did on New Year's Eve we watch Friends.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, yeah, I did not do the routine. My airtime
was probably forty five seconds, but it was an impactful
forty five seconds.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah, you probably should learn the routine. That's a good real.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
That is a good reel. Although I don't know if
he'd be down.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
He is so down. Remember when we did the fancy dance,
he was so into it. Yeah, Yeah, you were the
one we were having to drag onto the dance for.

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Yeah, I'm not so good at the synchronized dancing, but
the the routine seems doable. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Do you remember long? It's long, Yeah, but it's it's
easy movements that I think you can learn, just some five, six, seven,
eight movements.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah exactly.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Was there something there was something else that you said, Yeah,
we can do it with my detalks.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
Oh we come back, Okay, We'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, all right, So Tanya, you have started a new detox. Yes,

(36:48):
what is it? So?

Speaker 1 (36:50):
I have come to realize that I am addicted to Survivor,
like in a not healthy way. I'm in the middle
of three different seasons.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
How do you keep up? Like?

Speaker 1 (37:03):
How do you?

Speaker 2 (37:04):
I don't know why three different seasons? Instead of just watching.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Just one, we watch one as a family, we watch
one that's currently airing live but it's only once a
week so it's not that much. And then we watched
one just Robbie and I.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Why do I feel like the one that is alive
has aired? The finale?

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Like they did it did?

Speaker 2 (37:24):
It just ended?

Speaker 1 (37:25):
So that so now it's just two Who won? Her
name is d and who won? All over one? I
got second place?

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Ye?

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
Nice.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
But it's weird because, like I don't know if you
guys do fantasy football, but every player gets like points.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
So Robbie did it the same way he does fantasy football.
So my player didn't win. She got fourth place, but
somehow I got second place because all my players lasted
pretty long.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Oh I see yeah, okay, so you are doing a
detox of Survi.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yes, so I decided that I want to do a
detox of Survivor at least until the next season starts
to air in February.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Okay, So it's going to be about season in February.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Correct forty six, Season forty six. Okay, So for the
next month, I'm not going dry, fully dry, but it's
not going to be a daily occurrence in my life anymore.
So if anybody has any show recommendations that they would
like to give me, that would be very much appreciated
and help with my detox. Did you watch Saltburn? No,

(38:35):
because you gave it the worst review of all times.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
I didn't mean to give it the worst review.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
You did. You were like, I think you'd hate it.
It's dark, And then I'm like, it's dark.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
At that, Like, did you watch it?

Speaker 3 (38:45):
I did watch it.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
It's so it was like so engaging. I don't know,
it wasn't it wasn't a bad movie.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
No, it's it's a good movie. I really dug it.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
It's just dark and twisted. Yeah, it's a psychological thriller.
But I never would have thought you'd be is having
to de talk from survivors. So I don't know what
you like at this point.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Well, it's interesting because I do like Yellow Jackets, which
is a very dark show as well. Have you seen that? No,
I think you would like it too. Okay, it's a
dark show, but I like it because the story is
like very interesting, it's compelling.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
I think you would like Saltburn if you like Yellow Jets.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Really, I think so too. And I think if you
can go into it being like there's some moments where
you're just like, what the movie not a show?

Speaker 3 (39:28):
Maybe the moments in Yellow Jackets personally, I think that
are like horrifying, are much worse than what happens in Sulburn.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
In my power, I don't know if I could watch
the Yellow Jackets.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
It's very good.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
It's very very good. Both are very good. Saltburn Yellowjackets
are great to me.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
Yellow Jackets is like ten out of ten.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Wow, Okay, well, I'll watch Yellow Jackets if you'll watch
the much Stelburn deal.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Selburn takes place in two thousand and six, which I
think is really fun for people our age because that's
what we were like, you know, high school.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
I don't even know if I realized that. Really was
that a significant point?

Speaker 3 (40:05):
I mean they put it on the screen, a really
big text, and then everyone's clothes kind of looked like it.
The music, especially the music's the biggest I notice.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
The music was really good. What a great year of music.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Yes, a lot of like MGMT stuff like that. Nice,
But it takes place in this like really ornate like palace,
so it's kind of hard to like the two and
six of it all gets lost in that, but.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
It's beautifully shot. Okay, fine, I'll watch it if you
watch Yellow Jackets. Okay, deal deal.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
I Also, I don't know if I've talked about this,
but I did finish Fellow Travelers. I speak about this
because I cried. It was like so intense. The ending.
I was like sobbing, and Maalen be goes, She's like,
are you good? But I think I mean Fellow Travelers
is about I mean, I don't know how to say

(40:53):
it exactly what it is. But it's like the politics
with the like ban of homicideuality of like people getting
literally arrested and killed for being gay, like they all
had like secret relationships outside of their marriages. Anyways, Oh
my god, I'm in love with Matt Bomber, Like he's
just is it Bomber or Bomer? I think it's Boomer Bomer. Yeah, whatever,

(41:17):
I'm in love with him and I would freak out
if I met him. But anyways, I think what it
was is I was telling Haley, I was like, it's
such a privilege that we have, like to be able
to have a relationship that even like it's not fully safe.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
Did I already talk.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
About this on the podcast. No, No, it's not fully
it's not safe for everyone still to have a relationship
with in a same sex relationship or LGBTQ plus relationship.
But I was saying, like it made me feel like
recognize the privilege that we have to like love each
other publicly and like have a relationship without the I mean,

(41:55):
people do live in fear, and there is fear when
you go to certain places, but just to be able
to to be with the person that you love is
such a profound gift, you know, and like so many
people in the past and even people now don't get
to have that that choice or that option. And I
was like so emotional about it thinking about all these
older people who never got to love who they wanted

(42:17):
to love or experience the love that I get to
experience just because of like laws and hate, Like really
what it comes down to. It's such a beautiful show.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
So I did not watch Philo Travelers, but okay, yeah,
every time I finished an episode of the Curse, they
want me to watch Fellow Travelers.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
It's amazing. And Jonathan Bailey is so cute. He kind
of reminds me a Brad Brad. I love Brad.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
I started watching some show actually on Netflix that I
think you would like. It's called Oh my God, my
Brother's the Walters or something.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
I've heard it was horrible, like painfully corny, so corny.
But it's like the summery turned pretty, Yeah, but that
was so corny. My life with the Walter Boys, Yeah,
my life with the Walter Boys.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
Yeah, I don't know. I barely got through summer. I
turn pretty, Oh.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
My gosh, And I love them.

Speaker 2 (43:13):
I think those actors are so cute.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
It's like the Love Triangle.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Yeah, I'm gone. I'm good with the one the Summer
I tern pretty wow.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
All right, no takers for that one? All right? Fine,
but it wasn't I do know a lot of people
were watching it. That's when I start because I was like,
my Survivor neess is like getting out of control, Like
it's actually like we burned through one season in two days.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
I almost six you the other day because over the break,
Allison and I got into the show and HGTV called
why the heck did I buy this house? And it's
hosted by a woman named Kim Wolf who Uh, they're
doing some it's like the first season the show, and
they're doing this thing with theyre walk around time. People
are posing for pictures with her and Alison and I
are like, this show hasn't air yet. White people are
posing for pictures. She won Survivor in twenty twenty. Kim

(43:57):
her name was Kim Spradlin. At that point, what is
look like?

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Yeah, get me a picture. I saw the season There was.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
A winner of Survivor that just came out.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
D her name, first name is D. I don't know
her last name.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
No, I'm not talking about the most recent winner. I'm
talking about Parvety parvity is how was saying your.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Name Harvedy Parverty came out?

Speaker 2 (44:17):
Yeah, So I'm trying to find the I'm trying to
find the episode.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
That's the season I'm watching currently right now. So spoiler alert,
spoiler alert. But it's like season I don't know what season.
I don't know the seasons. I think it's like I
don't know, but it's her first season she was ever on,
but she came back and she was on the all
star season that I'm like obsessed with. So we're just
about to watch the finale of her season. And this
is the first season that they had an all girl alliance.

(44:43):
Make it to like final. I think four is all
girls and it's fantastic because it's all the winners. All
these people have won in the past, so they're playing
so freakin' hard. It's the best season. This is why
she's de talking people.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
Did you hear the past? We have that much passion
from Danya year.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Yeah, No show has like rattled me like this, like
I I'm talking strategy. We played Survivor with the kids
for New Year's That was like on the day of,
like the day before or New Year's Day, New Year's whatever. Uh.
We were playing Survivor, but the four of us, me
and Robbing and the kids, and we had to like
vote each other out. Were like strategizing and we were playing.
We were doing like wall sits for immunity challenges and

(45:24):
like little cup games and stuff. And that's when I
was like this is this is had a moment yeah,
at a moment and I was like, your legs are
why are we doing it? A minute? We're like voting
out like our nine year old. I was like, this
is really ticulous smoking shoot because he was too much

(45:44):
of a social threat. I was like this, we gotta
we gotta stop this.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
There is a Gypsy Rose Blantern special coming up on
Lifetime that I am feaning for.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
It might be out already. What's it coming up on?

Speaker 2 (45:57):
It's on Lifetime. It's a docu series. She's still in prison. Yeah,
she's like in prison.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
To watch that too. I am so fascinated by her.
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
Well, it's the story is like devaz, it's crazy, it's
so sad and people you watch the act, oh yeah,
it's amazing. Yeah, But like I it's such a conflicting
thing because I mean, she murdered her mother, you know
in your view, Oh well, I mean that's not part.

Speaker 3 (46:26):
Of her republic criminal trial.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
But she was tortured. I mean, like what her mom
did was like crazy, horrible type of abuse. Like I
don't it's crazy. And and so there's this thing where
you're like rooting for this girl because she she served
her time, and it's horrible that it came down to
what it came down to, but she's finally getting to

(46:50):
have a life. She never had a life, and then
she went to jail. She was like literally abuse, forced
to be in a wheelchair.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
No, I'm so fascinated by it too, Like I'm watching
every step, Like she was at Burger King, she was
having a doctor pepper.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
She got I phone.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
She's an influencer.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Yeah, it's pretty wild. She listened to Taylor Swift to
get her through prison.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
The year, the years that were in of social media.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
So dystopian.

Speaker 3 (47:15):
Let me. As soon as she stepped out of that prison,
I was started manifesting Amy Sugar. If you're listening to this,
I want her podcast so bad. I'm like yeah, I
was waiting for a text saying can you go to Missouri?

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Did you text Amy?

Speaker 3 (47:26):
I have not texted her yet. I want I want
to wait for this because it might already be in
the works, that's all.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
She's in Louisiana.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
She's in Louisiana, Okay, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
It is because someone messages because I said, like celeb
I posed like cheers in to Gypsy Rose getting out
of prison, and she's like, this is so crazy this culture.
She murdered her mom, and I'm like, but what are
her mom? What about what her mom did to her?
And she served her time like she you know.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
I mean, in my opinion, there's not really time you
can serve to make up for taking somebody else's life.
But it is the while oldest story I have ever heard.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Like, but my argument is if someone did something abusive
to me and my dad murdered that person out of
just like pure rage for someone hurting me or doing
something abusive to me, and then my dad served his time,
I'd be like rooting for my dad if I you
know what I'm saying, Like, it's never I can't imagine

(48:24):
ever taking someone's life, but yeah, seeing someone that you
love or like being tortured to a certain level forces
people to do insane things.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
It's like to see it through the lens of the
TV show. I know the TV show was made based
on the real life story, but I have to look
at it through a lens of a TV show because
when I think of it in real life, I can't
I can't root for her, I can't be happy for her,
like I can't do any of it. So in my mind,
it's just like a TV show that I'm still watching,
you know, just to like be able.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
To desensitize yourself.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Correct. Yeah, well it's real.

Speaker 2 (48:59):
Yeah, it's so crazy, and I'm excited to watch because
the problem is there's a lot of fake accounts for
her right now, so I can't tell him what it's
real or not. And she posted some I think she said,
I tried to watch the actor a story, a scripted thing,
and she said it was a lot.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
It was like really hard, but that could have been
did you know, just to lighten the mood a little.
That is where Joey King met her now husband making
that show.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
That's the guy in the movie.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
No, I believe he was a producer or director or
something behind the scenes.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
She was amazing in that show.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
I know, but imagine falling in love in the midst
of doing that.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
The Yeah yeah, yeah, it's a really crazy, sad story.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Yeah, but wow a great show.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
Yeah. I wanted to write in with an email I
becent Tania, this is Easton. I'm a big fan. We
listened for a long time. Something happened over Christmas that
I just thought was weird and I wanted your take
on this. I have been going to a therapist for
like three years and she's been great. Uh, I have not.

(50:31):
I do the east Awards every year, which where everyone
on everyone listens to show is probably familiar. They're on
January seventh of this year. I have not talked to
my therapist about the east Awards because because they are
not a source of stress for me, they bring me
a lot of joy. So I've not brought them up ever. Uh,
I don't. She doesn't follow me on Instagram, like we don't.

(50:51):
You know. The conversation here is like how much outside
of contact is appropriate from a therapist. I get. I
started selling Eastwards T shirts this year, which a lot
of scrubbers have purchased, and that's very kind of you.
I got an email from the T shirt like thing
at midnight saying that my therapist had bought a T

(51:12):
shirt and my I started spiraling at that point because
I was like, Okay, that means she was on my
Instagram at midnight and then decided to buy this T shirt.
I know there's a there's like a version of this,
which is like she wanted to be supportive, you know,
and like helped me out.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
No, it's a no for me, so that would make me.
I only want my therapist to know what.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
I tell her thank you. Yeah, that's where I was at.
And she didn't say she didn't like text me. She's
texted me before. She texted me some. I found out
she's a She revealed she's a big fan of someone
we do a podcast with, which felt weird to me
and I like I because I was like, oh man,

(51:58):
I'm like complaining, you know, not like you.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Know.

Speaker 3 (52:02):
Yeah, And I found she was like a big fan
and she's text me about that once before, but she
did not text me about like like, oh, hey, I
saw you were selling T shirts. I bought one, Like
she didn't say that just I just got the email
and I I packaged it up and send it off
to her, and uh, my mind is just like going
to a million places because I'm like, how, like is
she gonna wear it around town? Like what's going on with?

(52:22):
Like this is my client's like fake award show he does.
It's so weird and normally, like if you know a
lot of friends that might have bought the shirt and
it didn't like it didn't nothing happened. But like the
fact that it was my therapist, I really started spiraling
and I just wanted to know if you guys would
think that was inappropriate or not.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
It's a hard no for me. Yeah, I don't. This
is just me personally. I like that my therapist doesn't care,
doesn't know I don't think she knows names. She knows
I work in radio mornings, she knows I do a podcast.
So she doesn't know the names of anything. She doesn't
know any think about anything. And to my knowledge, she

(53:04):
really doesn't know anything about anything, do you know what
I mean? And I like it that way. I like
her just to know what I'm telling her. There's a
I don't know, there's a part of me that I
would feel not like I could be my one hundred
percent authentic open on his self if she did, or
if I knew she did.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
See I feel like it's almost like delusional to think
that she doesn't know what you do. Really, therapist, and
I know that someone I'm talking to is on a
radio show, has a podcast, I'm hitting Google. Really yeah,

(53:44):
but I'm nosy.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
I always wonder like would they look up your clients
on Instagram and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
I invited his therapist to his concert, you know, like
in LA he was like, shout out to my therapist
for being in the audience tonight.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
So yeah, but I think that like my vibe. Yeah,
but I also know there styles.

Speaker 2 (54:03):
But you're a public figure.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
Yeah, but it's different, Like I'm not a public figure
where like HER's styles walks outside and everybody knows who
that is. I'm not that.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
Yeah, but if someone listens to the Morning Show, or
listens to podcasts, or like watches E in the Countdown,
they know him.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Guarantee you that my therapist doesn't do any of those things.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
You don't think she watched Ryan Seacrest New Year's Eve
Show and tell.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
You that she maybe that maybe, but everything else.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
No, here's my thing. This is my argument, because I
don't really care. I'm like, you can. If I'm talking
to you, there's a chance that you can go. If
you have any curiosity about me or what I do,
you can just hit a Google and like or look
me up on Instagram. Like it's just out there. It's
public knowledge, and I trust that there's a client confidentiality,

(54:49):
you know, agreement that like what I've come to you
to talk about is stays here. But like that doesn't
mean that they don't know what else is going on
in my life. They just know what I'm sharing with them.
In that moment, you're in a sense, like in this
regard to your public figure, because you're doing something that's
public and she's wanting to support you and like probably

(55:11):
loves you. You've been with her for a long time,
and it's like, oh, I want to show my support
for him, and it feels invasive, But I don't think
it's coming from a you know, an safe place.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
Yeah I was, because I don't mind if she looks
at my Instagram. Obviously I know, I like, you know, like,
but I don't want to know about it.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
There's been a deeps girl on your Instagram for.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Chance, and my therapist doesn't even know when I like
talk to her about like, She's like, how do you
like she doesn't know anything about stories? What is she
going to start finish your sentences with? Like what you've
been doing? You know what? I'm gonna live in my
Delulu world because I like that. I like her not
knowing anything.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
You just saying there's a chance, regardless of if you
believe it or not or acknowledge it or not, that
your therapist knows who you are and what you do.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
Okay, let's say she does know what I do. Know
exactly where I work, the names of everything, knows everything,
watches my instagra every single day. I like that she
pretends that she doesn't. Yeah, great at least that I
like that she pretends that she knows nothing about anything.
I like that.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
So she modered woman sweatshirt, you'd be like, what the.

Speaker 3 (56:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Like?

Speaker 3 (56:21):
And when I first started.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
The only person in my life that I just want
her to know nothing.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
Maybe there's there's got to be a scrubbers out there
who are therapists are working the you know, yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:32):
Mental health or something. Yeah. When when I first started
seeing her, she she told me like, if we see
each other, because she's in the same town as me.
It's like if we see each other at the grocery store,
I won't say anything unless you do first, Like if
you come up and say what, I cannot because that
would be like mortifying to think about. Like I'm just
like shopping. It's like, hey, how's it going. I'm his therapist,

(56:54):
he comes to CB, he's cooker, you know, something like that.

Speaker 2 (56:57):
But my therapist said the same thing to me.

Speaker 3 (56:59):
I think that's like a a thing they teach you.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
I think the same thing.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
We should compare notes. But yeah, so like I wasn't like, oh,
she was gonna, like, you know, get on Instagram or
something and like post something weird. I'm not concerned about that,
but the whole like I just couldn't stop thinking about,
Like now, I was just picturing her at home at
midnight on my Instagram going like I'm gonna buy a
T shirt. It really sent me to a spiral. I

(57:25):
have not seen her since, and I don't know, like
I'm thinking about finding a new person.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
You know, do you like, do you feel like connected?
Like do you like her in terms of what before this.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
This is give you my girls infoe she is she
will pretend has no idea who you are.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
The thing and if anyone else could relate to this.
But like I she's great, she moved though she's far away.
She's like an hour from me now, and I try
to do the FaceTime thing. I really didn't like it
because I have like, you know, I have to go
sit in the car, you know, to get go to
a private room the house. It feels weird. So I
go in to see her and it's just like so far.

(58:05):
But then the thought of meaning getting to find someone
else and like get them up to speed.

Speaker 1 (58:09):
I know, getting someone else up to speed.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Feels like we gotta drop in at season four. Now
it's just like it's so much. I don't know. I
like that feels daunting. Yeah, that's all I like don't
want to do it. But then also like the you know,
she's not like so good, like I'm gonna imagine yeah,
like I you know, i'd say her like once a month.
I don't go like that often.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Let me give you a my girl number.

Speaker 3 (58:31):
I'll happily take it and my first session will be
so I work with this person. Name is Tanya rad.
She works at one or two.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
She knows my last name to be honest. I bet
she has no idea. She knows me. It's Tatiana Rode
Savi Beach. Yeah, bye knows all she knows.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
So is your question, do you acknowledge doth? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (58:52):
Do I say something?

Speaker 2 (58:52):
Do?

Speaker 3 (58:52):
I just not go back to her? Like, am I
right and feeling weird about I.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
Think a therapist would say that you have an honest conversation,
But me, personally, I would.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
Just go yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
I think that's the healthiest thing to do. I'm just
saying that's what I would do.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
But if you're not a public figure, I still think
it's weird. Like I, if I were not a public figure,
I would still not want my therapist watching my Instagram.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
Just me personally, I guess I just I share her
that I haven't shared on Instagram. So whatever she sees
on Instagram is like whatever, who cares?

Speaker 1 (59:27):
It's not about that, It's not about that, It's about
the access, Like, you know, I just want her to
I want to focus in. I don't want her to
be like, how was your dinner at pot J last night?

Speaker 2 (59:38):
You know, like I want her to me to acknowledge it,
but her seeing what you're doing isn't like it doesn't
affect anything.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
Whether you know or not. You know, different strokes different folks.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
I think you could just say, hey, I got your
order for the T shirt, like it made me feel
like a little bit uncomfortable just because we haven't crossed
like that person.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
He cannot do that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
I'm telling you what therapist would say, you should have
a conversation. But I also think if you know whatever
feels safe for you, maybe you get the sure and
bring it to her for your next.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
I shipped it out. It's in the main. I think
she has that already, like it's arrived, right, And I
just wrote thanks for thanks. I wrote a little note,
just just like everybody else, anyone else WoT I wrote
them little note say thank you. But and I just
said thank you, Cynthia. There you go. Wow, uh and uh.
I guess if she listens to this, that'll be the

(01:00:35):
big test. If she hears this podcast, only time will tell,
Only time will tell.

Speaker 2 (01:00:40):
And she writes in an anonymous email about what you do, Hey,
beck in Tanya, I was trying to support a client
of mine and he's being really weird about it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
That'd be so crazy insane, right, Well, thank you for
the because I was that was good advice? But I
thought it was good.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Two different perspectives. Yeah, don't think i'd care.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
I thank your path carefully.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Or tru Lulu.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
I like my world. You come playing it today. She's blissful.
She's blissful, solfully unaware.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
Yeah all right, well, Happy New Year.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Everybody. Have any suggestions for a scrubbing and vision board.
Please hit me up. Don't do the email because nobody's
reading them right now. Please send it.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
To me at Tanya rad on Instagram and I will
cut out and I'll make a scrubbing and vision board
that we will keep with us for the whole year
and look back on it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
Put both of our words on there. So what was
yours again? Completion and try And that's.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
That, and that's that. We love you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Love you by