#46 Stuck in a Trance

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hell I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
and I heard radio podcast. Hello everyone, thank you so
much for joining us on another episode of help I
Suck at Dating. I'm Dean Angler, joined by Jared and
Vanessa on the phone, but we have a very secret
guest who I want to build a little bit of

(00:22):
anticipation for Vanessa and Jared. You want to say hi
real quick, Hi. Hello. Good to have you guys here.
And Vanessa, you sound so crisp and clear in studio
for you today. You're just the best. And of course
we're joined by Easton and Mark and one of my
personal favorite people from probably on this on the face

(00:42):
of the planet, but more specifically from the Bachelor franchise.
Can can we get a drum roll? Please? Mark east
and someone, ladies and gentlemen, standing at six foot two
inches tall, Peter Cross, So here at six three you're
six and too. I'm a taller than you are and

(01:03):
I'm only six one and three quarters. Um. Yeah. So
Peter's here with us today. He's going to be co
hosting because Vanessa's obviously Montreal. Jared's in Rhode Island in
his car looking at wedding venues. Um oh, Peter, I
got something to ask. You're right after. But let's get
to okay, well I mean Vanessa. Well yeah, no, Peter,
I wanted to remember when we reached out to you,

(01:25):
we were gonna do a charity event together. Yeah, absolutely, Yeah,
what happened? You never got We never got, we never
got back to us. That was a little I was
a little but hurt. That was a very short period
of time that I was in Canada. That's all I
remember about it. Okay, I guess, so can we put
that behind us? Well, people behind us. I've never met

(01:47):
you in person, so you over the pat on the
podcast for the first time. Nice meet you too, But
I've watched plenty of your videos with these boys over here,
so sorry about that. Seems like a fun guy, Well
you have. I'm really jealous. Thank you. That's an interesting compliment.
But um, well, anyway, let's just stump right into it
and go into a ghosting story that we want to

(02:09):
I guess kind of to dissect a little bit. Well, yeah,
we got We have some a lot of response from
last week's ghosting focused episode of Help I Suck a Dating,
And we got this from an anonymous call us. We
thought we a little put a little exclamation point and
last week's podcast before we get into the fresh stuff
for this week. And this is anonymous person says I
absolutely love you guys and the ghosting podcast was probably
my favorite one yet. Question do you think ghosters should

(02:32):
be casually confronted? I feel like so many guys have
experienced come across as being one way to do a
one eight and ghost Should they be called out like
a quick little task text saying hey, what's up? Did
it disappear? Somethings are cast. It would force them to
give some type of explanation so they can't just take
the easy way out. Or is it pointless because at
the end of the day we know what the answer is. Anyway,
I hate dating, I hate ghosters. I'm still waiting for

(02:54):
my person. I love you guys and have listened since
day one. That's the anonymous email. I want to let
Peter take this one. What do you think? I think
nobody likes to be left hanging, Nobody likes to feel rejected.
So if you get ghosted, it just leaves this big
empty feeling of what happened and why what I do wrong?
So I think anybody's fair to question what happened and
have questions for that person. But do you really owe

(03:15):
someone you don't know that well a response and something
like that. I think I don't know that either. I
think it blows back down to kind of what we
discussed last week. It's a it's not appropriate to ghost
someone ever, but it's more appropriate earlier in the relationship,
so correctly if you do it later on, and that's
not because then you need to confront them. I almost
think that confronting them at any moment is a good
thing because I don't know, I feel like you're giving

(03:36):
them what they want, you know, what's explanation? No, Like,
if I'm ghosted, so let's say Peter ghost me, um.
So I suppose me so Peter ghost me? Um, I
don't want to give him uh Like, I don't want
to boost his ego and like message him and be like, hey,
remember me, why did you ghost me? I'm gonna be like, no,

(03:57):
you know what I'm gonna I get the point. It's
really that simple. At the end of the day. It's
it's if if he's not that into you, he's not
going to message you, or if she's not that into you.
She's not going to message you. So that's your answer.
There's no point in digging further. Well, at one point
you decide where someone's at in the relationship and when
it's okay to ghost and went Scott. I mean, listen,

(04:18):
if we're dating for like months and your ghost me, yeah,
I'm going to be knocking on your door. But if
it's like a month in or like a couple of
weeks in, like no, chances are that person was probably
dating other people and something else sparked their interest and
you just became what's that term when you're like on
the side venture. Yeah. Yeah. Let me ask you guys

(04:42):
a question. Is it considered not bening? It considering if
you haven't met the person? Says in like texting, you
met this person on online dating app and then like
a couple of weeks in you just kind of stop responding.
They text you and you're don't respond. Would that be
considered if you haven't met a person, Yeah, I think so.

(05:02):
I think if you're showing some sort of interest and
you guys are like messaging each other and you know
you're giving signs that you're into that person, then all
of a sudden you stop messaging them, you again, you
start wondering like is this something that I said? Is
it something you know? Like what is it? So I
think that's still ghosting in the past. I mean, you

(05:24):
guys never like I mean, I remember my online dating
at days, like I never it's just talked to some
people and then it was just like a week go fine,
You're like, you know, I don't know if I'm gonna
beat up with this person ever really realistic, and then
you do it kind and especially when like both sides
kind of seemed to like lack the initiative to make
the move, I can understand why like that would happen,

(05:45):
especially pre meet up. You know. I think that's definitely
like the least like least uh severe case of it.
It's a mild ghost, very mild ghost. I think it
should be like that three day rule. I mean, if
you meet I don't know, I guess to Here's think
you meet somebody in person, you probably shouldn't ghost them.
You should get this sort of explation why. I agree.

(06:07):
And here's the thing. As someone that I think I've
admitted to ghosting people in the past, and I've been
ghosted in the past, and I think on both sides
of that, I would prefer to be confronted and to
confront so I would be like, yes, if you're if
this upset you, absolutely please like approached me to be
like where the heck did you go? Guy? Like what
the heck happened? And on the flip side of it,
if I got ghosted, I think that we all do answers,

(06:30):
you know, so I'd be like, what happened? Like why
did you ghost me? I know I'm not the most
interesting guy in the world, but like, still, come on,
you know you're up there though, yeah, not the most
momst So I think our consensus Vanessa says, why bother
general consensus days, you've got nothing to lose, go for it. Yes, agreed,
confront always right in the end. So just I think

(06:52):
I'm always vent us on this one. Why father, Like,
what are you gonna do? Confront them? And didn't get
an explanation of that they just pournt that into you?
You don't why? Yeah, exactly, you might get a reconfirmation
that they're not that into you closure. I mean, it
depends on how deep the relationship went. If you guys
meant once and you got coast front of ranted. If
you went on a few days and it was going

(07:13):
well and then he completely just dropped off the map,
maybe confront then I agree with that one thing. One
thing you could always do if you get ghosted and
like you're maybe a little down on your confidence, whatever
it is is, you can just hit the gym, you
get yourself in shape, get that revenge body put back together,
and the best way to do that. I don't know
if you guys know this or not, but probably his
beach Body on Demand. Yeah, we know beach Body on

(07:34):
a man. You guys have heard of us talk about
it before. Uh, They've got a great history of success
with p and d X in Sanity twenty one Day
fixed the Brazil butt lift, which I've seen Peter actually
do a few times when we were on the show together.
Hip Hop abs, which is my personal favorite. I don't
have abs yet, but I'm still trying to get them
through Hip Hop Abs. It's the best deal in fitness.
All the listeners out there can try Beach Body on
Demand for free by texting Dean tot Um. So what

(07:58):
are you waiting for? Joining over the one million people
currently on beach Body on Demand. If you got ghosted.
If you're looking to get back out there, maybe hit
the beach and show everyone what you're working with. Check
it out use code dan to thirty thirty thirty. Um
you'll get full access to the entire platform for free,
all the workouts, the nutrition information and support totally free.
You guys have heard me talk about it before. The
nutrition part is my biggest uh, I guess grievance when

(08:21):
it comes to just being fit and having a healthy body.
So it's nice that they can help with the nutrition information.
UM so again, check it out checked Dean to thirty
thirty thirty. That's d E A N too three zero
three zero three zero and to start your free child today.
I almost thought that I said too many three zeros,
but I don't think I got it. And don't get

(08:42):
ghosted again. If you're looking fit, if that Beach Body
on Demand is really working it for you, I doubt
you every get ghosted again. We have to talk to Jared. Yeah, Jared,
big week for Jared. Jared, something big happened to you
on TV last night? I don't I don't know if
you saw that on television last night, but was a
new episode of Family Guys just just like Cinderella, slipper

(09:04):
that rig and slid right on to Ashley's fingertudd You're
the cutest Sharon. Oh, I can't believe I said that.
I don't even remember. And then they were playing a
promo a couple of weeks ago and then lust and
I heard my still weighing voice go, you might not
remember saying it, but how you weren't surprised that you

(09:25):
said it right? Like, no one is really shocked. Oh
my god. I was talking to Nick about it when
he first heard it. He was like, that was the
most jared thing I've ever heard. I guess it's appropriate.
I agree, but it was beautiful. We loved it. Okay,
So tell us about the experience a little bit. I
know we've talked to maybe like in depth in the past,
but now that it's aired and now that we've kind
of seen it played back to us, like, just give
us a quick little I guess run down on on

(09:47):
the entire situation. Yeah, of course, man. So obviously we're
trying to surprise asthletly, so she didn't really know what
was going on when we were heading down, is why
we talking in front of the group, and said oh,
we're handing out a day card and then we'll go
to the beach and then we'll wait for a couple
of se to us when it's back. As soon as
we had the beach, I knew that I was going
to suppose at some point, and so it was a
really beautiful day. Man. And even I was really nervous

(10:09):
that entire morning. And I remember where she wanted to
start drinking before in Paradise, and Ashley is not a
big drinker. He has like a glass campaign he's gonna
get drunk, but she had the idea that we were
going for a day card. So it's like Ashley just pleased,
Like I can't tell you why, I don't want you
to get drunk, don't do it. And but it was.

(10:30):
It was a beautiful moment. And the idea to go
back to Paradise, where I've screwed up so many times
um with the girl that I love, and to be
in that moment and make that place right and our
memories was something that I knew I need to jump
at the opportunity to and and uh, it was a
beautiful day in a beautiful moment. We got dinner with
Tanner and Jay's letter, I say, to celebrate and UM,

(10:53):
to watch it back last night was nerve racking, to
say the least. Um. I was excited to see it,
but I was also very nervous. If I'm being honest, Uh,
if you guys are watching, you know that acts like
boy Frank, Kevin is down to Paradise and I knew,
I mean when I got proposed, when I proposed down there,
obviously I knew that Kevin was there. We saw him

(11:15):
for a very quick second. So I didn't know what
was going to happen after we left. But that was
very nervous. I can not really know what was going
to happen. And it was hard because going down to Paradise,
I didn't know if Kevin was there or not. You know,
as we can all attest, if you're not there, you
don't know who's there, who's left, You're still there. And
I no one warned you or like, no one gave

(11:35):
you the heads up. Well, I mean you guys, So
what happened? It was I I didn't ask for anything really,
um that specific, because I knew that if Kevin was
down there, I was gonna ask for one thing, which
was him not to be there, like please do wherever
you need to do to make sure that Astley and
I was down there, and this is you know, the
short time that we are down there is just for us. Um.

(11:58):
And so I was on the phone the night before
more uh you know, being as uh you know, stern
as I possibly can be, uh you know, with with
certain people to try to make sure that he wasn't there,
and unfortunately it just wasn't really possible. And so it
came down to me either proposing, um, which I had

(12:19):
been planning for a month and a half, well before
Kevin was even casting on Paradise. It just worked out
this way, and it was like really soon into the relationship. Uh.
That was really like at the very beginning of the relationship,
you knew you were going to propose. Well, I think
he made that pretty clear, like he he was saying,
if we're going to start dating, it's going to be
it for everything. So I think even like once they

(12:39):
began being romantic, you kind of knew, right Jared, Oh totally,
Like we started like we were pretty much boyfriend girlfriend
like mid to late March, and um, you know, a
month in I was like, I'm I'm absolutely proposed in
to actually I have no doubts about it, and then I, uh,
you know, started talking about proposing down in power. It's

(13:00):
been about mid May, so it's probably about a little
two months roughly about us dating. Granted we've known each
other for over three years with a long history, I
think it was a little different, UM. And so so
that was obviously difficult knowing that, like, there was pretty
much nothing I could do either I proposed, uh and
see Kevin for a quick second, UM, or I don't.

(13:20):
And so I made the decision to UM proposed because
I didn't want to say no, simply because it's Kevin's
feelings and I hope that he can understand and respect that. UM.
And obviously, you know, when I was on the phone, UM,
you know, pretty much making sure that Lesten, if he's there,
can you please just make it as less as little
awkward as possible And they said they would. You know,

(13:41):
it was in the moment, weren't someone for that quick
second when he was in the crowd of people, and
then we left and I didn't see him at all
until he was very nice and he congratulated. So it
was like around the pieces just Astley and myself. Um,
was it weird seeing like the conversations that they had
of you guys after because obviously you weren't. Isn't for
that when it happened, but then you see it back

(14:01):
played back on TV? You know what I mean? Yeah,
of course, Like and I can't really blame Kevin at all.
I mean, if I saw my ex, even if it
was only a short relationship, come in and getting sort
of the guy i'd see too, how could you not
see so? Um, I mean it's hard to know that.
It's just you know, it really worked out the way

(14:22):
it did where he was there and then you know,
we had this engagement plan for a little while, so
it's just it worked out not really that well, but
it still was just a wonder pumona for Astley and myself.
And the thing is, you know, Kevin seems to be
very happy with another girl, so aren't happy about that.
And I think it worked out for all parties, where

(14:44):
even Kevin tweeted this last night where he was just like,
you know, I was able to move on, but they're happy,
So it worked out for everybody. So at what point
do you think I actually knew that you were asking
her to marry you. Well, she may have knew uh
in the hotel of before we left. I don't know
if you knew or not, but she knew that there
was an inkling of a possibility that we can get

(15:05):
engaged and drop the pins for the months prior. She
was like, hey, you asked me tomorrow. I say yes,
and I was like, oh, that's funny. And then she
told me that I was not allowed. We weren't We
couldn't move in together until we were engaged. And I
was like, well, actually stay in Neuvembor. We're not engaged
and we want to live together. And it's like, why
don't that's on you say yesterday. I think as soon
as we started walking to the beach towards the middle

(15:27):
of the day, bed and I stopped and started, just like,
you know, saying how much I loved her. I think
she knew in that moment it's about to go down. Um.
So it was cool. She was walking in the sand
with her feels, you know, just like a queen. So
did you get to sit down with did you sit
down with Neil Lane and pick out her ring? No?
So I was on the phone. Um, I didn't access

(15:47):
to the ring at the right there. I saw pictures
of it. Um. I was on the phone um for
a few weeks prior, um, you know, saying what I
wanted in the ring and actually wanted the ring. And
it worked out because actually somebody, you know, friend to
somebody producers that she had talked to them prior about
a ring that she wanted, and I talked to herself
a Lauren about everything that she wanted in a ring.
Felt well, we're able to narrow down to the ring

(16:09):
that we wanted. And actually we didn't pick out the
ring because Neil didn't have a ring that we wanted,
so he actually state it for ustly, which was incredible. Um.
And so it's cool. So we walked down. Give you
the s stairs. When we walked down the paradise, there's
one and then you say hi to Harrison and then
there's another sets stairs from the beach. So when we
first walked down, they had to figure out a way
to get me the ring. And so one of the

(16:30):
producers was like, all right, I'm gonna want you guys
down separately the first that you know, in case you
want to tease that you guys might be coming in alone.
And then the second SETI stators you can walk down together,
And of course that was a floying because he was like,
all right, do you go first? When I walked down
the stairs and there was another producer waiting for me,
and he's like, well, I have something for you, and
that's where he gave me the ring and all they
just actually see it in person and not over the

(16:50):
phone for the first time, and really he gave me
like a minute to myself just soak in that moment
and decided to just remember everything I was gonna say,
um and just have that, you know, a couple of
minutes just by myself with the ring, realizing what this
symbolizes and what I'm about to do. So it was
it was a wonderful day and watching it back was
beautiful and I was just my parents last night, and um,

(17:13):
we just sat in my living room and eagerly waited
for the proposal to air, and it was a really
great moment. I feel like you had it such a
unique situation because your engagement was announced basically the day
after it happened, and then so you got to experience
that and then obviously like you've had the two months
since that too. Now and you kind of got to
like relive it. It's like a very unique up like experience.
And I feel like that's just super awesome because obviously

(17:34):
we all watched it last night. Um, it was very
unique and I'm very grateful for it. But it's crazy
when you think, because I remember when we got engaged
in Paradise, thinking, Okay, well, I guess we can't really
talk about it for the next two months, and then
later that night we got a text saying, hey, we
might see something tomorrow. Um, good morning, America might have something.
We're like, okay, And then the next morning it was

(17:56):
the picture of me on one knee and was like, okay,
well we don't have to hide it, which is great,
and then it holds up until it actually airs. So
it was a very speak engagement to say the least,
not only because it was on TV with statual on Paradise,
but the fact that it was announced two months five
that everybody else witnessing it. Um, But it was a
pretty incredible moment. Yeah, and now we got all basking

(18:19):
it with you, which is even more incredible. I think
you know, I know you put you poor bastard, you
have to hear about it for so long and now
it's just got air and now you gotta talk more
about it. Got as long as this is the last
time we ever have to talk about it, I'm fine.
I don't blame you there. Yeah, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Um.
But currently I'm in Rhode Island, which I'm not on studio,
and we're looking at wedding venues and we think we
just might have found the venue. So is it? Is

(18:43):
it Taylor Swift's house. It's not living Rhode Island. Fortunately
we got to sneak in and we got arrested, but
that the whole different story. But it is a beautiful,
beautiful mansion that is very great. Gats feel like, uh
that walked in. You guys should get married at the
Bachelor mansion. No, no, come on formality's sake. You guys

(19:07):
met on Bachelor show, you met on another Bachelor's show,
you got engaged on a Bachelor's show, and I was
time to get married on another Bachelor location. And I swear,
if you don't birth your first child somewhere in Bachelor
Nations location, baptize them in the pool. Yeah. Well, the
thing about the mansion, we actually kind of talked about it,

(19:28):
we were joking about it, but we actually had a
chance to go back there a couple of weeks ago.
And the thing that's weird about that is that when
I'm back there, Caitlin was my bachelor, right and Chris
was birth bachelor, So all our memories there are other people.
So that's why we're like, we would never want to
get married here. Because we walked in We're like, oh, yeah,
that was where I talked to Talen. She's like, oh yeah,
that's where I talked to Chris, and I was like,

(19:50):
let's not do that here. That is I mean, that's
definitely interesting. I saw the pictures. But yeah, um, all right, Jenedal,
thanks thanks for sharing all of that. Obviously, it's it's
great to see we're so happy, you're actually happy together. Um,
good luck picking up the venue. Well, it sounds like
you already got then you picked out I guess right,
So we'll see that. We'll see that what next year

(20:10):
in what like August is when the wedding is going
to be. We're thinking August right now, and so yeah,
of course you guys are going to be invited and
it's going to be a great time. So it'll be fun.
Nice man. Will East and I be invited of course,
guys men, and now that you are Peter, our friends too.

(20:31):
He has tote Peter, you're coming to I just met you.
I've never bet you a person, but you can get
yourself in trouble real quick one and you can bring Peter. Oh.
I thought we were bating whether or not I was
gonna get a plus one. But yeah that's the case.
I'm there. Can I bring up plus five? I've just
got a bunch of friends up, um, sweet man. Well,

(20:54):
like I said, we're all stoked for you. It was
great to be able to see it played back. I
know we've kind of all been waiting for this moment
since it happened. I guess a lot. I's been waiting
for it for about three years, and so it's nice
to finally see it all come full circle. It's kind
of funny the commentary afterwards, Jenna was like, it just
goes to show you that all it takes is like
a little persistence of just breaking someone down year after
year after years, merciful, mercilessly. Yeah exactly. Um, but yeah,

(21:19):
it'll worked out obviously. That's great. Um, I'm lucky guy man.
All Right, guys, you guys have fun, talk more about
dating than hopefully when I see you next off a
little bit. Yeah, get back to the studio. We miss
you in here alright. Um, well, that reminds me that
whole conversation for just some reasons. Just I don't know.
Why have you guys ever heard of twenty three and me, yes,

(21:41):
you did it? I haven't, But let me tell you,
I really want to do this because you can test
your ancestry. And apparently my last name is Grimaldi, so
I might have royal blood. Guys, what do you mean? Yeah,
there's like the royal family in Monaco's their last name
is Grimaldi. So I'm like, I have to spin this
tube to see if I get if I have like

(22:02):
any royal blood. So are they processing your saliva right now?
Uh no, but I'm gonna definitely order it right Well,
remember that restaurant I was in Denver on Friday night
this past weekend, and then there's a restaurant called Grimaldi's.
Yes you sent me that. Maybe it's a royal restaurant
in Denver, you know. Well, anyways, for those of you
that don't know what twenty three and me is it's
as said, it's a DNA testing service that can offer

(22:23):
insights in your ancestry, health, wellness, and traits. It's pretty cool.
It's easy to do. You basically spit into a tube
provided by the twenty three kit, mail your saliva sample
back to the lab to let it be analyzed. Um.
It gives you back a lot of like really crazy
reports that you never really thought to consider, like your
bitter taste report, and it's like the sweetber salty reports,
so your DNA can play a role in determining those

(22:43):
food preferences from sweet salty to bitter. Um. And it's
funny because I've always thought like I don't know exactly
what I like. I just obviously like just continuous to
eat it, like a little lot of chocolate, whatever it is.
But it's weird to see like the the DNA driven
results that kind of tell you about it. It is
weird because it said to me, like you probably have
detached your up him like I do. Or there's there's
the sleep reports one where it's like the deep sleep

(23:05):
report tells you if you're more likely to be an
especially deep sleeper and mindset. I'm not so like I,
which is true, like I've wake up all the time
randomly and like the smallest little sounds, so it's weird
to see that. And then the the lactose and Talance Report,
which sheds lights what sheds light into how your genetics
may affect your ability to digest dairy products. And then
the bigger picture, of course, is like our boss here
at Kiss. The family's name is John, and he found

(23:26):
half sisters he never knew. He a crazy story, and
he's actually developed a relationship with them. They're close now,
Like it's really been a life changing things for him.
To spit in that tube. I see, I did not
discover that, although I did so. It gives you back obviously,
like the locations from which your ancestors are most likely from,
and I was very hopeful they'd be like five percent
something like interesting, right, but in the exotic exotic maybe

(23:47):
like Africa or like Native American, Australian somewhere in Asia.
But I'm a European, which is very boring. Boring, It's
pretty boring. I'm gonna be honest, I think it is. Anyway,
Order your twenty three and me Health and Ancestry Service
Kit at twenty three and me dot com slash Dean.
That's the numbers two and three A N D M

(24:09):
E dot com slash d E A N. Just go there,
order it. You can see, like we said, your your
sleep reports, your bitter taste, your sweet resalted reports. Maybe
you'll find some half siblings out there in the world
or no. And by the way, also you haven't found
any yet, but it is always kind of repopulating. More
people are going in all the time. You're gonna get
emails like we found more genetic matches for you, and
then you go in and see how close they are,

(24:29):
which would be pretty cool. Like I said, I think
when I was driving through Ireland, I came across an
Unglert's bakery. Oh yeah, I want them to take their
genetic report because I'm still convinced we have some relation
to each other. And wouldn't that be the something, because
lord knows I love big goods. Anyways, check it out again.
That's twenty three and me dot com slash dean. Go ahead,
buy your kit, spitting the tube, send it back to

(24:51):
them and see kind of exactly where you're from. Um.
Next step, let's jump into our main man. Peter Krasso
know it's funny because I think like maybe the second
episode we had was with Peter, Is that right? Yeah?
I came on pretty early in there. So can you
update us on what's going on with you? Same old time.

(25:14):
I'm living in Madison, Wisconsin. Uh, not a whole lot,
same stuff. I've been doing it so I have my
personal training business back there and opening up a gym
in the late winter early spring kind of time traveling
country right now teaching my big time boot camps. Actually
had one in l A tomorrow. Check it out. I'll
be there the air this airs tonight. Everybody should come

(25:35):
to my my boot camp at Dodgers Stadium tomorrow at
Dodger Stadium on the field and go check it out.
It's on my page's people show up. You could accommodate.
We could. Then it's not gonna be but we could.
Fingers crossed well tomorrow being September five, Wednesday, Wednesday, so
the game's at four thirty, but the actual bootcam starts
around seventh third. I'll be right after the game. It's
gonna be exciting, it's gonna be fun. Well, I would

(25:57):
definitely come and support. I appreciate that. I think you
can still fly out now. I'm going to Toronto tomorrow. No,
I'm going for a conference. I'm going with Taylor Nolan
for my season. So it's it's a really cool conference.
It's a couple of hours north from Toronto, and there's
a bunch of investors and startup companies, people who have
started companies and um, so yeah, I'm going to learn

(26:19):
a bunch of stuff there. But I think the most
important question that I'm asking myself and a lot of
probably women are asking themselves, Peter, are you still single?
I am currently single. Yes, great question, Vanessa. I know
everyone was thinking it. Wait, so have you dated since
the show? So I just like I haven't really been
like fully immersed into like the Bachelor franchise after my

(26:40):
season PTSD, it's real people. Um, but you were like
really well loved and liked and everyone wanted you to
be the next lead, and um, you didn't do anything
kind of like me. You didn't do anything after your
season of after Rachel season, you didn't do Paradise, you
didn't do win You just you didn't do win our games. Um,
so you've kind of like distanced yourself from the franchise. Um,

(27:02):
have you dated anyone from the franchise, though I have
not dated anybody from the franchise. Now, Okay, I did
get back into like kind of casual dating though, Uh,
get on or got on a dating app, which we
were talking about ghost and all that. That definitely came
back up because you got on a dating app. Yeah,
so I'm back on Bumble. I was on Bumble. I
think I got kicked off right now. I don't think

(27:24):
I actually got kicked off. I just can't log on
and it won't. Okay, so Peter's on Bumble guys or
I am on Bumble. I feel like ghosting is much
more prevalent on dating dating apps. It's ridiculous. Well, there's
just so many conversations going on at once. You kind
of get lost into it without realizing it that you're
looking for the most exciting one. But then if that
doesn't come, you just kind of lose all of them,

(27:44):
and it's unfortunate. I'd rather focus on one or two
specific people, try and just have a really good conversation
with them and then build from there. But now, when
there's so many options, it just it's overwhelming, so that
you lose all of them. So do you think going
on a dating app is the new way of meeting someone,
because I've never been really to go on a dating app.
What depends what you do for living? Are you busy?
Are you? I'm very busy, But I want to meet

(28:05):
someone organically. I want to meet, like I don't know,
like Dean introduces me to someone who thinks, you know,
we'd be a great match. I don't want to meet.
I don't know if I meet. I mean, I'd love
to introduce you to my friend Peter. I be a
great match. I heard he's great, So I mean we
started off on the wrong foot, but you know what
we might have, like a story like Jared and Nashley

(28:26):
oh Man looking deep in the future. Now, I will
say a lot of it depends on location as well.
Maybe a lot of it, but a good amount of
it because Wisconsin maybe doesn't have as much of a
dating pool, or someone like Los Angeles is college town,
so there's a lot of turnovers. But Peter doesn't want
to be dating. I realized, yeah, there are there are

(28:46):
no college kids in my first evil future, which is good.
I mean, maybe like a graduate student perhaps for Peter
or you guys, the guys in the studio. What is so, Peter,
you're thirty two, Dean your twenties seven? Then yes, ma'am. Okay,
what's the youngest you would date? Like, what's the cut
off line mind set of guys? I one, that's starting though,

(29:13):
I mean, but it's the Yeah, you can go upwards
over Okay, Fine, what's the highest? What's what's the highest? Okay,
maybe thirty eight, but again then you can have with
numbers on anything. All right, let's get your floor me, um.
I honestly, I don't know. I'm so conflicted because I've
dated guys who so I'm turning thirty one, and I've

(29:36):
dated guys who were ten years older and they acted
ten years younger. And then I've dated guys who well,
I did one or two guys that were a little
bit younger than me and it was just catastrophe. So
I don't know. I guess like, I want to try
dating someone around thirty to thirty five, um, because I
feel like in that age range they're maybe not as

(29:59):
jaded s someone who is a little bit older, and
someone who I feel like is a little bit older
might have commitment phobia. Do you think someone that's older
has commitment. No, Well, listen the guys that I've dated,
every guy, I mean, look at my history. Every guy

(30:20):
is still single. And I'm like, is it me that
basically like screw them up? Or no, I cannot be that,
Or is it there just like scared of commitment? Do
you believe that there's a person for everybody? Like there
is a person for you? I think there are multiple
people that, um you are quote unquote meant to be with,
or people that you connect with on a deeper level.
I don't think there's that one specific person. I think

(30:41):
we've had this conversation with Jared, and I think Jared
believed that there was one. I don't. I don't know
if it was anyway, but I think in life, you know,
like I was living in l A. Does it mean
that my guy was in l A. I don't know.
Now I'm in Montreal, does me my guys in Montreal?
I don't know. It could be that my guys in
Europe or my guys in Austria, or it doesn't mean
that wherever you are that that's where you're going to

(31:03):
find your person. I think your person is out there.
It all depends on where you are in life. But
fate will force you together, right, So maybe that's why
you went to Montreal. You went back to Montreal because
that's where he was waiting for you. I've heard thirty
three is the age where guys want to settle down
because thirty they get freaked out by thirty and then

(31:24):
the first few years of the thirties are spent in denial,
pretending they're still in their twenties. Thirty three and they're like,
you know what, it's time. Well, so Peter thirty one,
is he still pretended? I feel like I've actually been
the probably three stages in my life where I was like, Okay,
I'm ready to settle down, and then it was in
a relationship but didn't work out. Now in fact, like
I'm not ready to settle down. So I think it's
all depending on where you're in your life, whether you're

(31:45):
open for somebody. I hate the same settle down like
soe not literally you know, like I'm done going out
and partying all the time. Settling myself down negative connotation
to it, like no, I want to like be with
this person. For yes, settling does, but settling down a
thirty one the guys ready to make a commitment. I

(32:05):
know I've talked about this on the podcast before, but
have you guys ever read Plato Symposium East Eastern has
We've talked about this one before. We used it in
my wedding. That's right, ultimate commitment, which is amazing. Yes,
So there's that story on in Plato Symposium where back
in Greek mythology, people were conjoined at the hip. Basically
you had four arms, four legs, two heads, and Zeus,
fearing the power of these ultimate humans, split them in

(32:28):
half with a lightning bolt, and then your life from
that point forward is the pursuit of finding the person
that he split you in half from. I think that's
romantic in a sense, where there's one person out there
for you and it's the person that you were supposed
to be conjoined with from birth, and you're, yeah, Zeus
splitting everybody else, Yeah, zeus, what the hell we're trying
to be happy? Unbelievable. So to that point, I disagree

(32:49):
with Vanessa. I don't think that there are multiple people
out there. I think I'm more on Jared side of
things by saying there is one person out there that
will provide you complete and utter happiness, and that's your
life is to find that person. So you settled down
before you find that person. No, I say settled down again?
But I don't know what another term? You don't like
that term? What is the term? I think until I'm

(33:10):
unable to pride myself away from someone for an extended
period of time, I will not be fully convinced that
I found my forever person. You know what I mean?
Like if I'm not, if I don't have like this
undeniable gravitational pull towards someone and like some just utter
weird distaste for zeus for knowing that he kept me

(33:31):
apart from this person up till this point in my life.
I'm not gonna I just I don't know. That's just
how I feel. Have you not had that at this point? Um?
I thought I've had it, like in high school when
I dated this girl. Um, like definitely the first love
of my life. I've been in love. I just obviously
it hasn't worked out up to this point, so I
don't I would say, no, I don't think I've had
it up to now. All you know, well, you, like
I said, you just you got to be attached to him,

(33:53):
like like bel Crow listen, I dated someone in my
when I was twenty four and I thought this was it,
this is the love of my life. We were looking
for a house and engagement rings and all that, and
I think at that point in my life, I I
was I don't I know, I was in love, but
he wasn't the right person for me. He just didn't

(34:16):
want to have kids. And I spoke about this before.
So I think that was my biggest love um up
to date. And if to look back, like, I think
at that stage in my life, that's who I was
meant to be with. And I learned and I grew
so much from that relationship. And it was the most
heart wrenching breakup ever ever, And UM, I'm happy I

(34:40):
went through it because then I got to meet Nick,
and then I got to meet you know, I got
to have this podcast with you guys, and I you know,
I have so many great like love stories after that breakup.
So I don't think there's one person and I don't know,
I just feel like there's multiple people that you can
connect with on a deeper level. And for me, I
want to be able to find that person that will

(35:02):
encourage me to UM be a better version of myself
and will be my cheerleader because I'm always like that
person in a relationship that has to I feel like
I love being the person who's encouraging my man to
do better and to do more and to succeed. And
you know, and I never really had that reciprocated. I
never had a guy who was like, yeah, yeah, like

(35:24):
do more with your career or like reach a higher level.
I was always that person giving my all, and that's
what I'm seeking for at this stage in my life.
You know, like I'm emotionally stable, financially stable, or emotionally
stable as much as I could be. But I want
to find someone who's who wants to grow with me
and um to find that equal partnership. So I feel

(35:44):
like that shouldn't be that hard to find, right That
bar seems pretty low to me. It's not, it's not.
But at the same time, like I want to find
someone who will be a great father because I know,
like I cried about this last last episode, but I
know how great of a mother I'm going to be,
and I want to be able to find someone who's
going to be even a better father than I will

(36:06):
ever be a mother, you know. So I don't know.
It's it's tough because I want Yeah, it's it's really simple.
What I'm looking for is really simple. I want to
have fun. That's the thing. I want to be able
to be with someone and just have fun with them,
and you know, not make big things, small things into
like big arguments. Um. Yeah, so it's not. Yeah, I

(36:29):
don't I can't find them. Um. Before we move on here,
and Peter, you can stick around for this. We need
to tease, to tease what's coming up here, because it's
pretty exciting. Dean's getting hypnotized on this show. Should have
mentioned it before. Now let's put that in big letters
in the description. Because Dean's getting hypnotized. I'm so excited.
What are you hoping to accomplish with this? Um? What

(36:50):
am I hoping? Well, first and foremost, let me just
put it out there that I'm a large skeptic when
it comes to the kind of thing, all right, and
so I'm predicting nothing is going to happen from it.
All right. You don't think you're gonna get hypnotize. I
don't think I'll be hypnotized. I'll be shocked if you change.
What are we going to make you dance like a chicken.
I don't know if I trust you enough to believe
that it's true. So here's here's what we told Nancy.

(37:13):
Who's gonna be coming into hypnotize Doctor Nancy Irwin. Dr
Nancy Irwin fantastic hypnotherapist. She's been on many shows, She's
done an incredible job. Um. I personally never been hypnotized.
I've always been very skeptical of these things. And she
asked us what I would be interested in discovering about
myself through this hypno therapy um, And I said, the
one thing that I would prefer to kind of like

(37:34):
get a better understanding of, if it's at all possible,
is to help me uncover some sort of hidden passion
that I have that could provide direction and for me
in life, right um. And so like while I thought
about that, I was like, well, maybe I should like
have it be dating centric like that kind of thing. Um,
But I think that the one thing that I need
to really focus on is finding that direction for myself

(37:55):
in life. And so that's why I'm hoping she can
help uncover for me, or at least maybe she had
like a little bit of light on and open a
or a window, whatever it might be. Um So we'll see.
But again, I'm not expecting much. But you're gonna you're
gonna give it. You're all right, You're not just gonna see.
I'll be very I'm inherently just through with everything in
the world. I'm very skeptical. I'll ask many questions, but
I have no problem. Um, I guess, like what's the word, Uh,

(38:18):
like unraveling myself and being open to those types of ideas.
You do have something you would really legitimately like to
discover about yourself. Sure, and if a pseudoscience will help
me get there, then that then that attitude because but
it'll be very interesting. And like I said, Nancy is
a very prominent hypno therapist. She she's been in a
lot of TV, a lot of great people. Um so

(38:39):
she's coming in studio right Yeah, she's waiting outside the
door right now. So let's talk about audible for a second.
Oh I love audio books, how about you, Vanessa? Absolutely,
I'm listening right now to my The Husband's Secret by
Leanne Maririty because I don't have time to read, but
I have a long commute every day in Los Angeles,
so I listened to it and it's really gripping. What
is it called again, The Husband's Secret? Okay, I'll put

(38:59):
that one next on my Audible list. I'm listening to
Sapiens right now. Sapiens. Yeah, it's really good. Is that
a fiction or nonfiction or it's just it's like the
out of the progression and evolution of human kinds? Wow,
that's this is high end. Mine is about a wife
who finds out her husband. I love books like that.
There's a book that I listen to on Audible not
too long ago called um O the Morning. What the
heck was it? It was about a woman who had

(39:21):
short term memory loss and she would wake up every
morning and not know who her husband was. They made
a movie out of it, not the notebook. The moral
of the story is. I listened to it on Audible.
It was an incredible experience because Audible it makes reading easy.
As Mark said, you can listen to it while you're
driving in traffic, or or falling asleep, whenever time you're
able to really listen to music, or any time you
can fill it in with audible. Um, you know, listen

(39:43):
to a new book, read a new book. Essentially, I
have a question for you, because I've had this debate
with my friend recently. If you listen to a book
on Audible and then your friends are talking about reading
that same book, can you chime in and be like, oh,
I read that book. Yeah you can't. I listened to
that book. Anyways. It's a it's a better way to
binge content you of while doing the things you love,
like you know, driving, working out, whatever. It might be.
Audible as the largest selection of audio books on the planet,

(40:05):
which lets you fill your summer with more stories like
Sapiens or like Marx book which is before that's what
it is. Thank you so much, um fantastic block. It
was literally It's funny too because while I was listening
to that, I would often transition between that and music
and the very I was listening to Kago at the time,
and so now whenever I hear Kigo, I think of

(40:27):
like this, I get like it's stressed out in anxiety
because like, the book is really good, but it like
places you in it so well. Um, in Audible was
a bit part of that because obviously it kind of
places you in it. So they hope you listen to
more books by letting switch seamlessly between devices, pick up
exactly where you left off, whether it's your phone, your car,
your tablet, your Amazon Echo. You get all of those
through tons of books while doing anything you want. UM
and if you want, you can start your thirty day
trial and get your very first audio book for free.

(40:49):
Because go to audible dot com slash dean dating or
text dean dating to five five hundred UM. Check it out,
read some books, listen to some books. Again, it's uh
audible dot com slash d E A N D A
t I n G or text dan dating to five hundred,
five hundred. You can do it all with audio books.
Check it out before we go to Sleep's available right

(41:11):
now on audible. Looking at it right here, And people
really love the narrator in particular. I like it too,
And there is but there's a lot of similarities between
that book in the book. Do you like I feel yes.
I think it sounds like like like kind of like
a fiction thrillers in mine, and I'm not giving anything away.
She finds a note in a drawer like she's going

(41:33):
through like old financial stuff in a drawer, and she
finds a note that says, um to be opened in
the event of my death to my to my wife Cecilia,
and he's not Dad, but she really wants to read
that course because when she mentioned it to him, he
kind of freaks out. So it's good. It's really cheesy. Oh,
here we go. So everyone, Dr Nancy's in studio with us.

(41:55):
Great to have you, doctor. Do you want us to
call you Dr Nancy the time? Okay? Dr Nancy? Um. So,
for those that are unfamiliar, Dr Nancy is a clinical psychologist, hypnotist, speaker,
and author. But if you want to, can you just
tell us a little bit more about yourself in your
own words if you don't want absolutely. I'm originally from Atlanta,
if you can probably tell. And I moved out to Hollywood.

(42:15):
I was an entertainment for a while. I moved out
here because I heard Hollywood needed more blonds. Yeah, I
have a little career change it. I fell in love
with my volunteer work, which was working with sexually abused kids,
and I just got fascinated, if you will, with trauma,
and I was able to see there was just something
more for me to do besides being entertainment. So well

(42:37):
here I am love it. And so how long ago
was that when you move to tell oh gosh ninety
four after the earth point? Okay, do you miss it? Good?
Do I miss entertaining? Miss? Yes? Yes? And so and
so now you you've been on a lot of TV
shows in terms of your your hypnotists. I guess therapy.
I called it hypnotherapy. Is that appropriator in psychology? Issue? Okay? Um?

(43:01):
And so is that what you specialize in? Do you
have like your own practice or is it more so
um like traveling around and I guess just helping people
fix their problems? Right? I do it all, baby, have
a private practice in price delay, but also work at
Season's Recovery Center in Malibu treating addictions and the trauma
behind that. Yeah. Um, well, obviously we would love if

(43:22):
you could try to hypnotize me. So let's let's talk
about my problems for a little bit. And where do
we start? Because I have a lot let's talk about
let's talk about them. Um. Obviously the podcast is called
help I Suck at Dating? And it it originated from
my inability to uh be good at dating. Let just
plain and simple. But I think what I'd really like
to work on. I think something that um, I always

(43:43):
struggle with personally is I've yet to really find like
a direction that I want to pursue like wholeheartedly in
my life, like professionally. Um, it could be honestly anything,
just something that will, I guess, kind of give me
more uh sustained purpose, you know, because not I don't
necessarily feel like I have that, but I feel like
I should be doing something more. So this hasn't that

(44:04):
thing to do with dating today. It might come back
to that. I don't know it possibly could, but like
I feel like if I were to fix this issue
of like of really understanding what I want to do
with my life, then that will make dating fall in line,
and like it'll kind of make things more clear for me.
Usually our issues are all intertwined, so those while they

(44:25):
appear like daverse issues, they really go together. Because the
more you know yourself and what you're committed to your
mission in life, if you will, the more fit and
ready you will be for the appropriate part. And so
that's what I'm hopeful for. Have you ever done anything
like this for I've never been hypnotized before. Have you've
gone to therapy? I don't talk to anybody before I have,
so I after I broke up with Leslie, I started

(44:46):
going to therapy. So I've been going for the past
three or four months. And I know you're a big
advocate for it. Peter's a big therapy Vanessa to music
to my ears. Yeah. I think at the end of
the day, obviously, all we can really hope to is
just be better people. And so I feel, you know,
whatever means necessary? Um, And so what do you think
I mean in terms of what I plan to accomplish.
You think it's a good place to start. I think

(45:07):
it's an excellent place to do. Yeah. Um. And and
here's what I want to point out, not that I
want you to change the name of your show. I
suck at dating, But here's the deal about hypnosis. Um,
there's a lot of old wives tales about it, how
it does and doesn't work. So I want to bust
up some of those old wives and explain, really, all
hypnosis is self hypnosis. This only works because you want

(45:28):
it to. So it's all, um, self fulfilling prophecies. So
I look at the languaging behind anyone's thoughts and their behavior,
because all human behavior comes from the unconscious, and that's
driven by our deep sea of beliefs, Well, what are
beliefs their words strung together if you will, that have
certain images that drive our behavior. So when you are

(45:52):
plugged into a suck at dating, that's sort of a
belief of yours, not to criticize you, just to point out,
then you're gonna keep sucking at dat, right, It's like
a selfl phone prophecy is absolutely so you might want
to say, um, you know, my history has been poor
with dating. Not that would be an attractive name of
a show, but if you really want to change that

(46:13):
behavior and say I'm learning how to relate better, I'm
improving and attaching to women. Well, there was a very
extended period of time where I was laughing very hard
for a name change of the podcast Glory Days. But
that was a good one. You just mentioned maybe that's it.
But yeah, but then it kind of came to me.
I was like, all right, finally I'll bear this burden

(46:34):
of sorts and like use it that Like I don't know,
it was more so just like it's kind of a
satirical title as the way I look at it, I understand.
But here's the deal. The subconscious does not understand sarcasm. Okay,
it's very confusing because words, I say, words really don't exist.
A language is a social construct. Human who made up languages,

(46:56):
human beings, millions of them since Arcaveman ancestor, And every
word in every language represents some sort of picture. So
when you're telling a child, for example, Bobby, don't slam
the door, what's Bobby probably gonna do the door exactly?
What smart parents do is say, Bobby, I need you
to close the door gently. A whole different picture. This

(47:20):
is occurring to the tune of about a hundred thousand
thoughts a day and at night because when dreaming, we
still have the images flowing. So we're all self hypnotists.
So if you keep focusing on what you don't want,
you're gonna get it right. Flip right. Yeah. I work
a lot of professional athletes. How would it be. I'm
not working with any of the Dodgers, I'm sorry to say,

(47:41):
but if they were standing there at home plate and
they said, oh my god, don't choke, don't strike out,
those are heavily charged words, and they underperform. So what
smart coaches do, especially the ones who listen to me,
they speak hypnotically and they say smack that ball to
the next county, holds your every enforcement exactly exactly. This

(48:01):
is beyond Pollyanna just positive thinking. If you want to
get scientific, it sets up mirror neurons in the brain,
and so when you get to the home plate, your
brain thinks you it's already done what you've already rehearsed.
So for you to keep saying, I'm attracting the ideal mate,
I'm working on myself to be more ready for her.

(48:22):
Say things like that, and you'd be shocked in amaze
what begins to come into your life. I've always been
a big advocate of self deprecation too, and I can
understand that maybe the when it gets uncomfortable. Yeah, look,
I was a comedian for years. I made my living
up being separate, self deprecating, so I know all about it,
and it wasn't real healthy for me. So I understand
that it's funny if you can keep that compartmentalized and

(48:44):
sort of unplugged from that when you're a human being
Dean and you know, without the microphone, without the cameras
in your own life, right, I don't know, it's just
it's funny because Peter and I we even went out
there last night and like some girl came up to
us and it was like to me, it was like,
you're the most attractive person everything in my entire life,
and I was have you seen the man sitting next
to me? Excuse me, but you did say that you're

(49:05):
bad at receiving compliments. Yes, but I'll say, well, I
think that the ability to take a compliment with some
humility has kind of become a lost start. So it's
kind of like, well, what do you say to something
that it's a complete stranger? And then thank you? I've
learned we did, but then she stayed. They stay for
a while. It's kind of uncomfortable. You just say thank you.
That's very lovely of you to say that. Okay, it's

(49:26):
at and you're so hot. Thanks you too. Alright, let's
let's get let's get to the hypnosis. See what happens absolutely, Okay,
how do we do this? Okay, statistically, So here's the deal.
I don't people think that they go into some alternate
universe or I'm going to turn you into a robot
or put you in a coma. I don't want you

(49:47):
to be disappointed because you probably will hear everything I say,
especially now in the studio, so you're in between being
fully awakened fully asleep, You're gonna feel like you do
when you're being massaged or having acupuncture or meditating praying.
It's a powerful state. They're in your brain waves slow down,
big fat, wide waves that are highly receptive to the

(50:08):
new programming. So you don't have to listen to me.
You can, but you don't have to because you can't
do this wrong. Allre you gonna do is leave your
eyes closed. Okay, And if I may, I feel like
maybe people shouldn't listen to this while driving. I don't
want anybody to doze off or anything. I think it's
very helpful for people and it could be great. But
if you're driving, maybe skip past this next part. Okay,

(50:29):
go ahead, doctor, and here we go. And now, as
you are lying here with your eyes clawed and your
arms and legs uncrossed receptive, just draw in a deep,
cleansing breath, breathing in through your nose, all of that

(50:55):
incredible power of your unconscious mind that is healing you,
shifting you, releasing on your exhale through your open lips.
Any lingering, doubt, any self criticism, let all of that
stuff go, drawing in another deep cleansing breath, breathing in

(51:20):
clarity and an image of exactly what you wish to attract,
releasing again on your exhale, any lingering, Yeah, but or
what if? Voices let all of that stuff go? That
is all a thing of your past. Powerless over you. Now,

(51:47):
as you resume breathing normally, you find yourself going d
from far four three two one zero deep sleep. Every

(52:09):
time you hear me say deep sleep, with your permission
for the purpose of hypnosis, you go quickly. You go
easily to this depth or deeper, where your physical body
is relaxed and your mind is open and allowing these
suggestions to calm you, to ground you, to begin to

(52:30):
open you up to new possibility. Whether you believe this
right now or not. And now I ask you, still,
with your eyes clowsed, to draw your awareness to your feet.
They may begin to feel very heavy, pulling your legs

(52:52):
deep or down with a wonderful, heavy sense of relaxation.
Picture this a beautiful, soothing color, or you may perceive
it as a warmth or a coolness, or some other
sensation entirely, even a sound or a word, but allow

(53:15):
it to begin to move up through your feet and ankles,
and as it moves on up into your legs and knees,
it deeply penetrates every bone, muscle, nerve, ending all the
way down to the cellular level, flushing out any possible

(53:37):
lingering doubt in the old need to self deprecate and
fills up each and every cund with that amazing ability
to focus on what you do want to have and
be and attract and exude. And I have no idea

(53:58):
how quickly this will become mere chosen mindset, whether it'll
click into place right away today or if it will
take three days, But I do not will click into
place ad just the right time for you to begin
to trust it and manage it as your way of
being feeling moving forward And now feel this heavy energy

(54:25):
flow up and deer torso paint on an extra coat
all around your heart area, allowing that to open up
first of all timore, self law, self forgiveness, and others love.

(54:48):
As you begin moving forward toward healthier people, being healthier yourself,
trusting you have everything you need to make favorable changes
in your life. You have real power, tools, intelligence, an

(55:12):
enormous heart, a warm, engaging personality. You have health, a
support system, a sense of humor, creativity, and more, all
the ingredients necessary to move forward being more who you

(55:32):
choose to be. And now feel this flaw up into
your shoulders and down your back muscles, down your arms,
all the way to your finger tips, where you may
feel a slight tingling sensation. The rest of your body

(55:52):
feels heavy and relaxed, yet your hands and fingers feel
light and tingly with excitement. Knowing from now on every morning,
when those hands fling the bed covers off of you,
it since a whole queue of energy through your body
to others, continuously looping through yourself, that you're learning more

(56:19):
who you are, the kind of man you wish to be,
the kind of people you wish to attract, the kind
of adventures and goals you wish to attain. And now

(56:41):
feel this heavy energy flow up over the back of
your head and up over the top, slowly penetrating your scowl,
your cranium, all the way to the base of your
subconscious mind, where it fertilizes that rich soil, so these
seeds of suggestions begin to grow abundantly. Is your desired

(57:06):
way of being as you begin to trust that you
have everything you need to forge a new life. And
now feel this heavy energy flow down your face, relaxing
all of those muscles in your forehead, your eyebrows or eyelives,

(57:33):
and now pain on an extra coat through all of
those muscles in your cheeks, mouth, lips, and tongue, so
that from now on, all of those muscles work together
to only voice words of positivity, of support, of encouragement,
always focusing on what you do want to attract and

(57:56):
have and be healthy, beauty, adventure, fun and more. As
that very quickly becomes yours. Where do you believe it?

(58:18):
Right now? We're not breath this deep down. Now, in
a moment, I'll count you up so that at the
count of five, you'll be wide awake, alert, refreshed, feeling

(58:41):
so hopeful, so trusting. Things are opening up for you now.
And now you're coming up to one. Two, you're more
aware of the room around you. Three These words an
image just stay with you, keeping you growing and trusting

(59:04):
even at those times you think you can't be. And
now coming up to four and five, one, two, three, four, five, Uh,
it's open? What awake, Dean? How you doing? How was

(59:30):
the experience for you, Share what you felt or any
physical symptoms or thoughts. I'm very relaxed, and that's the
first step. I feel good. It was very much like
a massage. It's like very quiet, very calm. I feel
like going deep into a sleep. Yeah, I feel like
I was at a meditation. There you go. Did I

(59:50):
do anything crazy today? Yeah? You pulled your pants down. Yes, No,
I do feel really relaxed. I feel like, especially with
the breathing and uh this, the tone of your voice
is very relaxing. I've done this before. I can tell
you feel like you were asleep, like you're just waking
it up. I feel like as dr Nancy put it,

(01:00:14):
like I was getting a massage or all right, I
don't think I ever fell asleep. Okay, good. Did you
feel like you were sort of zoning out? Well? I
would notice my mind wandering into places where I was like,
why am I thinking about this stuff? Like stuff that
wasn't necessarily what I wanted to be thinking about. That's good.
That proves you were in trance because other stuff comes up.
And I told you, remember you don't have to listen

(01:00:34):
to me. We want your mind to drift off because
there's nothing random in the unconscious. Whatever is coming up
is something you're identifying with and isn't is something to
explore going forward. I don't know if you want to
share anything came up? What was something you thought about?
It was mostly like dating stuff. But that's what you're
talking about right before you went into I suppose that

(01:00:55):
makes sense, I guess, And that's an important goal right now. Yeah,
can you say more about was popping up for you? Um? Yeah,
I guess. I mean, sure, we'll talk about it. I
so a girl that I used to date, I was
heard of rumors of her dating someone else, and I
was like thinking about that for a little bit. Um,
I was thinking about I'm going on a date on Thursday.

(01:01:16):
I was thinking about that for a little bit. And
I don't know, wait, hold on a date on Thursday.
I'm going on a date on Thursday. Yeah, but I'm
not gonna say anything more beyond that. Is the girl
from last night? I thought you're the most beautiful humor.
That's all I needed to do. So how is this
supposed to happen now? Dr? Like, how is he supposed

(01:01:36):
to manifest his goals from that? So do you feel
like he'll have more clarity of thought now, Yes, and
here it's different for everyone. Um, when you were thinking
about the girl you used to day said, she came
to your consciousness. This does not necessarily mean you want
to get back with her, don't. Okay, but perhaps there
were some traits of hers that do appeal to you,

(01:01:57):
or perhaps there's some traits of hers that you want
to void as you're shopping for other women. Okay, that's
valuable information. So you're unconscious is already delivering up to
you something that you need to know as you move forward.
I do agree. We learned just as much from the
things that we don't like that we do from the
things that you like. Right, it's increasing. That's when we
were talking earlier about like there's one person or multiple people,
whatever it is. I think as time goes on, you

(01:02:18):
really feel more what that person should be based on
things that you've learned from others. Agreed exactly. So, Yeah,
you may have awesome images come up in your dreams tonight.
It maybe ah ha moments over the next few days.
There's really no time for it. It It is different in
here when there's fifteen people watching you, when the lights
are on so I wanted to talking on his keyboard

(01:02:42):
over there. Sorry, Well, you know these are sounds of
life that are always around us, even when we are
doing formal hypnosis. UM, so we expect that and we
go with that. But still the fact you did let
go and your mom was zoning out this shows as
you use this, you're very suggestible. Well. I do have
very vivid dreams too, so I'm curious to see what
I dream of tonight. But email me and let me

(01:03:03):
report back and I'll analyze it for you. I feel
like it's import I feel like this is one of
those things to where it's like the more you do it,
the more open to it you become, right, and the
more you let go and the more information access. Absolutely,
it's very difficult to and I'm sure you can test
this get a lot from just one session, right, I
feel like the more sessions, especially under these circumstances no offense,

(01:03:24):
but usually people are not being watched, there's always some
need to perform. But still you let go. I mean,
you have the hallmark physical cues of being a hypnotic
trance or olives were fluttering and I noticed that too.
I noticed your eyelids that was interesting to me. Interesting,
that's the hallmark trade. Someone's going into hypnotic trance. Good. Yeah,
so you let go. Maybe we could have a privacy
one of these days and you can go full on

(01:03:44):
you got it, you got it? Um? Okay. Well, Dr Nancy,
that was a great experience. Do you have any parting
words maybe before our listeners that might be struggling with
something that they can I'm curious to think, like, is
there anything that they can do on their own to
help them. I guess, as Mark said, like man of fest,
these things that they're working on, are working towards are
interested in that kind of stuff. Absolutely, they can re
listen to this and be very mindful of the language

(01:04:07):
they use. Now, we're never going to get rid of
all our negative, anxious thoughts because we're human beings, were
not robots. However, if you manage it and flip it
around to what you do want, never mention what you
don't want, then you're much your chances are much greater
moving towards what you want, focusing on don't smoke, focus
on being smoked, free, clean and healthy. Huge difference in

(01:04:29):
the unconscious That analogy you use up saying don't slam
the door rather than close the door gently. I think
that's resonated with me quite a bit. It's huge. And
this is going on again a hundred thousand thoughts today.
That's a lot of moving images. Dr. I like when
you said every trust that you have everything you need
to make favorable decisions. And I think that's important too,
because sometimes when we're you know, having to decide between

(01:04:51):
two different things, we're I'm sometimes looking at like, oh
if I if I picked this decision, then am I
going to be left with like some negative consequences from it.
So I want to be able to trust that I'm
making the right decision moving forward. Absolutely well, you do
want to be aware of negative consequences. But when you
pause and and ferret it all out and make the
best judgment, then you choose the result of the action

(01:05:13):
that's going to give you more positive consequences. Of course.
Dr Nancy Irwin dot com. Dr Nancy Irwin dot com,
and you I understand your daughter. I'm sorry an author too, right,
what was the book that you wrote? We don't have
it right here. One about making changes in midlife is
called you turn changing direction in midlife, and that's a
visual it's why oh you, because you make the change,

(01:05:35):
you turn, changing direction in midlife. Love it. So check
out you turn. Check out Dr Nancy Irwin dot com. Um,
I'm going to reach out to you and maybe you
have some more future conversations with you as well. That's
okay with you? Awesome, Well, thank you for coming in today.
Thank you. It's a great experience. Yeah, I loved it too.
This seems like a great time to talk about talk Space.
Talk Space is actually pretty cool, though I don't know

(01:05:57):
if you guys are familiar with it. It's an online
therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from
anywhere at any time. All you need to computer with
an Internet connection or the talk Space mobile app. That
means you can improve your mental health even if you've
had trouble making time for it in the past. I
think that's one of the biggest things too, is people
just don't have the time to make for it, like me,
for instance, Like I said, I've been going to therapy
for the past three year, four months, and while I

(01:06:19):
was traveling obviously didn't have direct access to be physically
in the same room as my therapist, and so what
I use was talk Space And that's the thing too.
It's it's basically, no matter where you are, no matter
what time of day it is, you have access to
a licensed therapist that can help you talk through UM,
whatever it is that you're you're working through yourself. Because remember,
therapy isn't just about venting your innermost thoughts are digging
into childho memories. It's also about practical everyday strategies for

(01:06:39):
stress management, living a happier life. UM. Having a therapist
simply provides you a designated person for you to talk
to who's trained to listen and help make positive changes.
This is great whe everything's un demand nowadays, it's a
brilliant idea. Now it's therapy on demand, wherever you are,
you can get the help you need. And I feel
like therapy for some reason got about RAPP for a while,
but now it's becoming more in my opinion, socialist up

(01:07:00):
to talk about realizing the value of it right, which
is great and talk Space platform has over two thousand
license therapists whore experience and addressing life challenges we all face.
To match with your perfect therapist for a fraction of
the price of traditional therapy, go to talk space dot
com slash Dean and use the code d E A
N to get forty five dollars off your very first month.
Show us some support, show talk space some support as well.

(01:07:22):
If it's something you've been thinking about but just haven't
had the time to commit to it, talk space is
a perfect, perfect option for you. Again, go to talk
space dot com slash d e A N and put
in the code Dean. So two separate deans you need there.
Put in the code slash dean and then you put
in Dean in the code box. You have four dollars
off your first month. Like I said, everyone benefits from
Peter's an advocate for it. Vanessa of course is, and myself.

(01:07:46):
Um yeah, so check it out. Uh, Dean, I feel
like you're still as skeptical as you were before she
came in. I don't think that I was hypnotized your
eyelids because I was trying to keep them closed. You know,
It's like when you I had some coffee this morning.
I just didn't think that there's really ever a state
of trance that I was put in. Granted it was
a relaxing experience. I wasn't kidding about that. Like I've

(01:08:08):
done the meditation thing where you're like focus on your
toes and then move up to your kneecaps and now
your hips and your chest like all kind of stuff.
So I'm familiar with that, um and she did have
a very soothing voice, like it put me in like
a state of I guess deeper for sure. I think, yeah,
the more you do it, the mort will actually probably
come out. Absolutely. But I was like I was ready
to like basically black out, wake up, and have you

(01:08:29):
guys like all standing over me, like what's wrong with you?
I was like, when is that going to happen? She
literally said, that's not gonna happen. I was hopeful that
it would, but it was still a great experience. And yeah,
I mean, like I said, I guess, really my mind
just basically kept going to dating and like girls, which
maybe is not greater significance in your mind than you thought.
Well that's it. Maybe is, but like I don't want

(01:08:50):
that to be a priority in my life. I want, like,
to me to be living more purposefully to be my
priority right now, you know. And I don't want that
to come from dating girls. I wanted to for my
own self and not from finding someone else. I wonder
if listeners would would find it valuable what they do,
like they could sit in a chair and relax and
hear what she said and benefits I found about it.

(01:09:11):
I feel I felt like I was like like you
were saying in meditation, and she had all these like
mantras of like self love and self forgiveness and positive encouragement,
you know, like and all that stuff, And sometimes my
brain does go towards like, oh, like I was explaining,
if I make a decision, I'm thinking of like the
negative things that may come from it. I want to
think like positively. So then when I make that decision,

(01:09:32):
positive things come from it. So I I found it,
HI found helpful and so and so here's my challenge
to you, as the listener, is to go back start
directly when Dr Nancy sat me down to begin the hypnotherapy,
and allow yourself to sit there through the same process
as well, listening to what she's telling me to do
and taking that upon yourself. Focus on your breathing, focus
on moving through them from your feet to your head,

(01:09:54):
and see if you get anything out of it. And
if you do, email us and tell us what it was.
I think that you could still be hip the Ties
even through podcast, whatever it might be. I'm sure there
was specific to you, right. She didn't even her name anymore,
she didn't. She just said think positively, which is great.
I think we could all benefit from that. So that's
my challenge to you as a listener. Go back, um,
sit through all of it, allow yourself to be open

(01:10:15):
to the idea of it, and see if anything comes
from it. I suck a dating and I heart media
dot com yeah, and emails, and tell us what your
experience is with it, because I think that all of
us could stand to benefit from it, honestly. All Right,
before we go, we have some other stuff we want
to thank all of our sponsors. First of all, let's
go back to the very beginning from Beach Body on Demand.
Thank you so much for giving getting us super fit
text Dean, and thank you so much twenty three and

(01:10:38):
me for telling us all where we come from and
our UH sleep reports and all that kind of dot
com slash Dean, big big thank you to Audible for
allowing Mark and I to UH to share our experience
of reading these fiction thriller books that we're reading Audible
dot com slash Dean dating or text Dean dating to
five hundred and of course, uh, big, big thank you

(01:11:01):
to talk Space for allowing us to reap the benefits
of therapy no matter where we are in the world. Yes, indeed,
and that is talk space dot com. Flash Dean and
use the cod d and to get forty five dollars
off your first month perfect. And of course big thank
you too, Peter for being in studio with us, for
Vanessa being in studio in Montreal, Mark and Easton. Of

(01:11:21):
course as always, um and if you're listening, I think
that you saw me Ben and a few others post
about this. If you want the chance to go to
the I Heart Radio Music Festival in Las Vegas, you
can see justin timber Lake, Carrie Underwood, Fleetwood Mac, meet
one of the artists. Maybe not one of them, but
there's gonna be tons of artists there, so you have
a chance to meet one of them. You'll stay at
Planning Hollywood Resort and Casino. While you're there, you play

(01:11:42):
blackjack with Ben Ashley, Becca Wells, Blake, Jared myself included.
Hopefully Peter and Tanya rat will be there as well.
We're raising money for Ben's charity Humanity and Hope, the
same organization that Leslie and I went to with Honduras
back in March. You can buy a raffle ticket for
just five dollars. Go to if only dot calm slash
Bachelor buy a raffle. I think you can probably buy

(01:12:03):
an unlimited number of raffle tickets and hopefully we'll see
in Vegas. Last year was a blast. We were like
backstage the entire time we met my met Miley Cyrus.
Even though it's very quick, but it was still very cool.
That was cool. Yeah, oh yeah, but I was there
that one Peter at bb rexa they fell in love
so nice. Um yeah me so yeah. Check it out
if only dot com slash Bachelor of five dollar raffle tickets,

(01:12:24):
hanging out with all of us in Vegas and obviously
just gonna freach up to Vegas, so why not. And
speaking of Ben Higgins, he has a new podcast that
you should listen to. He does Lady Bosses. Ben Higgins
new podcast, Lady Bosses in Ben is the official title
of that. Very cool. Um, what's that about? But as
the idea is, people, you have these great ideas for
an app or a product and you don't know what
to do with it. And I've had this problem. I
was like, Oh, that's a genius idea. What do we

(01:12:44):
do with that? Well, that's what this show is about,
is talking to people who have turned those ideas into reality,
specifically women who have been able to pull that off.
And it's fascinating and empowering at the same time. With
this woman Jessie Draper and Ben Higgins. That's an iHeart
Radio or wherever you listen to podcast, love it um anyway,
is that I'll do it for today's episode of Help
I Suck a Dating. Big big thank you to Peter
for being here. Thanks Peter, Thank you for having me

(01:13:06):
always Blaser. I feel like it was kind of weird
watching me get hypnotizes, but I do appreciate you just
being in the in the room with us while that
all happened. I was I was hoping for a little
more with that one, but I think we all hope
we were a little bit. But that's okay. Big big
thank you to Vanessa. You were in studio today. You
sounded fantastic. I'm watching you on the big screen and
now you look even better. You're not in front of

(01:13:28):
a Mike. You're not. You can't face timeless. You have
to talk through the Mike. Okay um, and always, as always,
big thank you to Mark and Easton for just being
the voice of reason and a regularly unreasonable voice amongst
all of us. So um. Anyways, that'll do it for
this week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating. I'm
Dean Unglert and maybe next week I'll suck a little
bit less with all of you guys. Follow help by

(01:13:51):
Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I
Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast

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