August 23, 2025 • 46 mins
What does "Do you want a mint" mean??? Dating for the first time after nearly two decades of marriage? Our IRL expert is telling you what she's learned since getting back in the saddle a year ago.
From widowers to single dads, Kate is testing them all out in order to help you find your Part 2!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Welcome back to I Do Part two.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's your celebrity mentor Kelly Ben Simone and you hear
us on every episode. We tell you listeners to call
us and email us. The podcast is for you. I'm
so excited today because it's exactly what we're doing, she
wrote to us. She's a real life gal in her
I Do Part two chapter and I can't.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Wait to get to know all about her. Welcome Kate
to the pod. Hi Kate, how are you?
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Bye? Thank you? Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I love this subject so I actually I can't wait
to break all this down.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
There's so much.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Well, I'm so excited that you're open to this. So
first of all, congratulations being on the podcast. We have
a lot to deep dive deep into. So first of all,
how long have you been divorced?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I have been divorced three years.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
And how long were you guys married?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We were married for seventeen and a half years.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Oh my gosh, Kate, that is crazy. Wait, how are
you feeling?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
I feel amazing right now.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I feel lighter.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It sounds cliche, but I truly smell the roses now,
even this morning out my window. They're the same roses
that have been there for sixteen years, and it's really
just recently, I'm just I take the little things in now.
(01:49):
I'm just so much more grateful, whether you know it's
the roses or being with friends. So yeah, I'm feeling great.
That's not to say there aren't many highs and lows
of this.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh my goodness, Oh my godness. Wait, so do you
do you have children?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I do. I have one sixteen year old, a boy.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You have a sixteen year old. You look like you
are sixteen. Oh my god. So you have a sixteen
year old.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
And I'm forty nine.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
You do not look forty nine. Gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
So you have a little boy sixteen. So he's in
the middle of his own maturation process.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
So walk me through now that.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
You're single after seventeen years, walk me through, like how
you're dating with a younger son.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
I wouldn't be dating if he didn't give me the okay.
So it was at the a about two year mark,
and he had been out of town and I had
gone on a lunch date on one day and a
dinner date on on the other.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
And when he asked me what I had.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Done over the weekend, it happened organically, and I told
him I had gone out on two dates and he said,
as long as they aren't weird and make me happy,
that he doesn't mind. Kind of a typical boy teenager.
I don't know what it would be like with a daughter.
I think maybe it would be harder. But my son
(03:20):
knows about me dating and he yes, he's very supportive.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
So a lot of a lot of our listeners ask
about how to navigate dating with children.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And I also had I had very.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Young girls when I when I got separated and divorced
from my ex husband.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We were married for over ten years, and it.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Was really difficult because on the one hand, I wanted,
you know, I always wanted a family for my family,
So I was like, oh my gosh, okay, how am I.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Going to what does this look like? What is this
you know, going to be like?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
And I just I was so nervous to introduce that
to anyone for for a very very long time. And
you know, even when I would be introducing them, it
would be like a big group of people, so they
didn't even know like who was who. They're like, oh, yeah,
that's so one she works with it. They never really knew,
like what was what? So I love that you guys
(04:18):
are having this transparent conversation and I love that he's
supporting you.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I mean, that's so so sweet. It's so sweet.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Now having said that, he has not well, he has
not met anybody I've dated, because I would want to
be in love before I introduced him to anybody. So
I haven't even come close of wanting to introduce him
to anybody, even though I have met some wonderful people.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And so just like, I mean, that's just a big statement,
like to being in love. I mean, are you are
you nervous about doing that at some point?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I'm not nervous because it hasn't even come close to that.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You're like, not even close. I've only been dating a year.
And when I say.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
That, I mean it's not like I'm going on all
these dates all the time. They're just obviously being a
mom that that doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
They're woven into your free time.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Yes, And so I am not scared or it does
not make me nervous because I know the person I
introduce him to it will be a long term relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And I and I want to keep my dating separate
from him, right.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I appreciate that, and it's I mean, it's also difficult
too because he's going, you know, he's in that magituation
process and he's like, you know, hormonally, I'm sure, like
all over the place and he's looking at girls.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And then he's like, wait, my mom is dating. I'm dating.
This is weird.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Wait I'm pros saying this. I'm like, wait, this is weird.
But I love how your handle it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
So how have you been dating? Have you been just
been meeting people?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Are you telling your friends, hey, I'm single, Like, what's
what's what have you been doing?
Speaker 4 (06:09):
So the first two dates I went on, I was
set up through mutual friends.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Okay, how is that?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
And I think it was so important for me to
rip the band aid.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
It is very It is not for the faint of heart.
It is so difficult.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Even the getting ready process, something you do all the
time that you think nothing of it, and even when
they're not cute you it's just very nerve wracking. It
is very nerve wracking.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
The going going with a total stranger.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You have to give yourself a bone. I mean it
has been two decades. I mean you were dressing for
your husband and now you're dressing for a day. It's
a totally kind of getting dressed. Okay, wait, tell me, like,
so what's your go to off it do you have?
Like okay, do you have a go.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
To Oh well, it depends.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I live in the suburbs and I do love to
go into the city for day and so, and it
depends on the time of year and the location and
what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
It look great right now, So this is like, this
is like a vibe, This is like a thing.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
This is I have my child's sporting event to go
to this afternoon, and it is going to be hot,
and I'm wearing the school colors.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Okay, well you look great. Green looks really good on you.
You know I always when people ask me, like what
colors to what to wear? I always say, like, something colorful,
because you know, men really love red, they love color.
I mean the you know, women are always like I'm
wearing black. Women don't necessarily. You know, one of my
friends who owned a store, she was like, are you
dressing for men? Are you dressing for women? And like, well,
(07:53):
when you're on date, you're dressing for men. So men
do tend to like more colorful things. You look you
look rate in color, so you should wear more color
that looks really good.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I'm just curious you're like a blazer girl or are
you like shirt?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Uh, Cammi, Cammi blazer jeans. I went on a date
a couple of weeks ago. I love Stod and in fact,
this is Stad and I had a Stad skirt.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
With just a tank.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I I like to keep it simple, classic, true, true
to my personality and what I what I like to wear,
you can't beat. For summer, I loved my white Chris
blouse tied a little bit with white jeans. And it
was a super casual place, so some sneakers honestly to
(08:51):
just make it fun because it was. It was a
meet and greet in the like around for four to
six hours, so to speak.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
So I also don't want to look too dolled up.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Right, But let's let's talk about that because I mean,
obviously you're really pretty. And so when you're doing these
meet and greek do you prefer like do you prefer dinner?
Do you prefer you know, having a cocktail?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Like? What is it? What exactly is a meat and greet?
Let me in on this. I need to know this one.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I called a meet and greet because he lived out
of town and he was picking up his daughter from college,
and so he was in town and he only had
a two hour window, which fantastic because we did not
do a FaceTime before, which I do like a FaceTime
before to.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Cut down on nerves.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Okay, so it was I mean obviously at his picture,
but you never know with the picture. So that's why
I called it a meet and greek because it was.
There was a hard stop, which was amazing because check
the box.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I got a date.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
In I met somebody new and I was home in
my JAMMI and all comfy and watching a show.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
You know, it wasn't late because I did. I didn't
go out with him again.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
It was a My goal is to wait wait before wait,
wait before you tell me your goal. I just I'm
obsessed with this. So because I love how you are.
I love that you're like, Okay, I'm dating, this is
me dating. This is I'm going to dress the part.
I'm going to be one hundred percent there for it
with my meet and greet, and then I have a
hard stop because I need to go home to my
jammys and to my favorite show.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
He gave me this out of having the hard stop.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Oh he did what he's saying.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
He was in town before we set up the date.
He was in town to pick up his daughter from college,
so he had to pick her up at a certain
time at college. So we even take out for her
because she was going to be hungry, and I'm like, oh,
she would like this, she would like that. It's like,
so I didn't have to have that anxietiety of wanting
(11:02):
to high tail it and get out of there, because
it was a lovely.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I have the mentality on I think people.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
I mean, they're great people, And am I like super
attracted to them or am I feeling sparks? No, But
I think to sit down to a nice meal and
get to know somebody that I find interesting, I enjoy,
I enjoy the time. I just don't want to necessarily
(11:31):
go again or you know, continue continue, you know, to
explore it further, so to speak.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
So having said that, what do you think has changed
with the dating scene, Because obviously it's been two decades
since you've been on these dates, and all of a
sudden you're like doing these meet and greets and face times.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
So what do you think has changed?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
We are all checking boxes right, No, when I was young,
it is so boy me girl, girl thinks boy is
super hot, and the boys into the girl. And you've
met because you've gone to the same college and your
sorority you know does things with his fraternity, or you've
(12:14):
met during young adulting and you meet you know, you meet, oh,
you meet at work, and it's based.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
On like Jess, chemical attraction.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Connecting. You're not.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Mentally going through your checkboxes because this part too so
to speak of, which I am super excited for.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
But at the same time, if it doesn't happen, I am.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
I really am at peace for that because I don't
know if it will. Well.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Also, that's good though you have to stay I mean,
I think that one of the most important parts of
this I do era is that you're staying calm and
that you're celebrating yourself and all of these new possibilities
and opportunities. I mean, you never know, Like I mean,
I think that's one thing for me because I called
off my wedding last year, four days before I supposed
(13:13):
to get married, and so you know, for me, I'm
not thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I mean, it still feels like that could feel like
a divorce.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Like yeah, it just was like very It just made
me feel very really really like very insecure. But I
think one of the things that I've learned through this
whole process is that I'm just more relaxed with who
I am and like I want I obviously want men
to you know, be.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Attracted me in all these things, but I also want
to just feel good myself.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I'm just very I'm like very happy with that. Okay,
what kind of guys do you like?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Come on, cake, give me the teeth, come on, Okay,
what kind of guys do you like?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So younger older?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Brunet Speaking of older, I mentioned that I'm forty nine.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Well, I mean, you're not old, no one, you're forty nine,
But I don't like the whole older.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I mean, have you seen yourself in the mirror? You're gorgeous, Like, okay, ages,
it's a number. I know, you're gorgeous. You could date anyone.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
The only people that I have been out with are
fifty eight, fifty fifty nine.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
And there was one guy that on his.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Profile said he was fifty four. To his credit, he
looked dang good for sixty. And when I asked him
on his date, you know, I weave it in like.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Oh, when's your birthday?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (14:31):
And then I say, oh, I just turned forty nine,
Like how old are you?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
He absolutely wouldn't answer it.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Well, it's called Google, Like, I just I'm positive he
was sixty.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So okay, but hold on, So how do you care
if he's not his age?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
You?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I mean, I don't, you know, I don't.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I really don't.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
I just feel I'm not saying that it couldn't work.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Do you think these guys are like nervous about their age?
I mean, do you think the tables have turned are
like we like, are we now? The ones that are like,
oh my god, why are you lying at your age?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Because women were like the men are like, they're lying
about their age. It's like, and so are you?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Yeah. This it hasn't happened once.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
It's happened a couple times, and at least one guy
he totally owned up.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
What app?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Was it one of the apps? I think if you
I don't know what it is? He said it was
the AP's phalt. Okay, let's give him the benefit of
the doubt. It was the apsphalt, but I think ten
years older than I am, I would prefer like I would.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Prefer fifty two, fifty three, fifty.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Four, fifty five, but I don't know sixty for me
at forty nine, I'm not saying never.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
But you know, it's just interesting that it has all
been that age group.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
And then I think a lot about Okay, well, as
the years go on, does that mean then my dating
pool is going to be Like if I'm in my
mid fifties, is it then going to be the sixties?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
And that's kind of overwhelming and scary to think about.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Okay, but let's so, now that we've talked about the
guys that are around your age, what about the guys.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That are younger?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Never tried it?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
You never know?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Right on the apps, some of the.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Some of the younger so forty forty four, some of
them they haven't had kids yet and they want kids,
and that for me is right sales.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, Okay, what about then if that's the case, Well,
what about guys that just don't want kids?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What about if they're like younger than what about their
late thirties. There's a lot of way when to stay younger.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I don't if they haven't had kids.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
You a lot of energy to your fun. You're like vivacious.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I am, yes, so you need someone that.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Has good energy, positive but.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I am looking for somebody that's family oriented. Of course,
the normal characteristics that we want in all the humans
that we surround ourselves with, kind, loving, consistent values, values.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Me and lets me be myself.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
One of the people I dated and he was fantastic,
there just wasn't the physical connection for me. I love
how I was completely unfiltered. I just he let me
be me and he made me feel like a million bucks.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
But that sounds amazing. I love that. I know, like
a million bucks. I know you should feel like that.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
I know. But for the long term, it just there
wasn't the chemistry even though he So that's a great question.
Even though he made me feel this way, there just
wasn't the chemistry where I can show you a picture
from an event we went to.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
But anyway, yeah, so what about have you been only
been dating divorce men or single dads or what's been like.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Your So I actually have been out on two dates
with two separate widowska rest have been divorce single dads,
and I do really connect with.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
The single dads because I love kids.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
I love well, particularly because it's the stage of life
I'm in. I love hearing all about the teens, all
about the young I call it the adulting stage, which
is like the second four years, you know, post college.
These kids who are living in New York, like living
their best life.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I'm I'm all about that.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
So I definitely connect with men on on that level.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
What was it like to date a widower? What was
that like?
Speaker 4 (19:05):
They were both lovely? The first widower was only my
second date? Whoa he was only my second date.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Did you know that from the start that he was
a widower or you found that out?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yes, it was a setup and it just felt like
yet he was.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
A type of guy I definitely, you know, should like
like just a good a good family man, a good person.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
He actually lived.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
About twenty five minutes away, so I had I had,
I had background, which is nice versus when you're when
you're on on the apps, and so it was a
it was a great It was a great date.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
The end of the date, did I.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
Oh so on the way home when they put mints
in their mouth? Because I was such a newbie on this,
but I kind of thought it what.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
God, why is he in his mouth? And why is
he offering me a mint? Even though I enjoyed myself,
I have.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
No desire, you know, to kiss him, and so I
just give kind of the halfway hug, you know, goodbye,
and and he asked if I would want to do
something again, and because I'm being open minded, you know,
I say sure.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
And then he.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Reaches back out just to like ask a question, and
I answer the question. And then I went through the
phase of wait, why isn't he texted in a couple
of days? But what is going on? I wasn't that
into him, So it was a little bit of a
wake up call, I have to say.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
And then he continued texting, Wait.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
So hold on, So he didn't text you for a
couple of days, and then he started up again.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Correct, correct, And he asked a question. And I'm a
detailed person and I kind of didn't know the whole
I'm not calling it a game, but there is. When
you're used to being with somebody for so long, your
text can be long. And it's just one thing that
(21:23):
I taught myself that in the beginning, like keep.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
It short, keep it short.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
And he asked me like what I was doing or
something like that, and I went pretty detailed and I
never heard from him again. To be honest, now I
did find out he had been seeing somebody before he
took me out, I think is the story.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Okay, so you were basically goes to by a widower,
But what shouldn't he.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Be like I was, Annie has a dad, Bob.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Hold on, but don't you think don't you think I
should be like, oh, feel okay to be like you
know their girlfriends say to them if you're going to
go on a date, just people like and just say
thank you so much, like you know, you know, I'm
just dating right now.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I love seeing you. I mean, I just think it's
so I think it's.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Just I don't know, it hurts my like hurts my
feelings if someone regard, even in work or anything, if
someone doesn't respond.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
So I'm always like, thank you so much, like it
was really nice seeing you. Even if I'm interested.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Or not interested in anything, I'm always I always respond.
And I feel like at our age, like we're of
the generation where we do like do that and but wow, I.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Can't agree with you more.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
I never got and it is uncomfortable and you do
feel bad, but it's much better to just say, hey,
I had a really good time.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
By the way, Like, you never know who you're going
to meet from somebody, So if I don't necessarily you
know what I was when I when I'm dating, I'm like,
I don't know who I'm going to meet.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
And that's part of it too.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Just because you're going in a date doesn't mean you're
like locked in for life. Let's talk about quicker or
slower in terms of the physical aspect. Do you think
these guys are taking these you know, popping them int,
going for the kiss and then pull them in tight
and trying to like have a deeper connection.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I'm very good with my boundaries, very good with my boundaries.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Do I feel like they would probably?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Yes, would they want to take it further right off
the bat, one hundred and ten percent.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I just.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Can I interview you every day because you're amazing.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
And that's why.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
That's why after a couple of dates, it's not necessarily
that they're putting the pressure the pressure, but.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
I don't want them to continue taking me out if
I am just enjoying the company and I think they're
a really great person because ultimately, you know, it should
lead to a physical, you know, connection, And if I'm
(24:13):
not going, if I don't see myself going down that path,
then we shouldn't continue on the dates.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
And another thing I learned is.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Sometimes when I see if I can't picture myself ever
staying the night in their space, if I feel like
I wouldn't, it's happened well a couple of times. If
I can't say, see myself feeling comfortable staying the night,
(24:44):
then I shouldn't continue.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, you also have like a really nice aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I mean, your vibe is so great, and so I
think that's probably part, Like you're clearly visual. But I
think it interesting because I have I've got I mean
I've gone on dates and like some guys I'll kiss
and some guys I won't. And like I one guy
be like, oh, yeah, we were like we went on
in a couple of days after I was like, oh yeah,
(25:11):
you know first day, Yeah, she wouldn't kiss me. And
I'm like, why is this common knowledge? Why is everyone
to know this? And it's just it's just something that
happens or doesn't happen. I don't think it's like a
rule or there's any kind of like relationship, you know code,
but like there's some people that you want to and
some people just don't. Yes, I don't know, but I'm
(25:31):
not going to bring mints. I'm sorry, right, I'm not
going to mince in my bag.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
It's happened.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Like when they take out the gum, the gum or
the mints and then offer you.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I'm like, oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
First of all, mint makes me sneeze, so that would
be awful. I'd be like you, you be like Kelly,
you're sneezing. What's going on over there? Like your friends
are they setting you up?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Or so?
Speaker 4 (25:55):
The last time I was set up, I kind of
kicked off my dating with two setups, and ever since then,
nobody I haven't been set up. I live in a
small community where really nobody is divorced, and that is
not an overstatement. My best friends, my whole friend group,
(26:17):
which I call my angel team, are all married and
being with them is my happy place.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And I'm super lucky.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
That I am still you know, included, even though I
don't have a significant other. One thing that I've liked
about dating is it's made me not feel alone by
being divorced.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Since there aren't divorced people in my community.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Yeah, I've learned there there are great people out there
that are divorced.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
There are there are, let's talk there are. First of all,
there are a lot of great people out there.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Just because you went through you know, you had a
marriage and you are divorced, doesn't mean that you're like,
you know, there's a new opportunity for you. And I
love the way you're handling I really like, I'm like,
you're very cool.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I am not as cool as you, not at all.
I'm like, oh my god, just.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Looking at you, I totally disagree.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I am so not cool.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I'm like, oh, persons there there are my feelings or
they're like I'm like, oh my god, that person just
thinks I'm a show pony and they don't want to
get to know me or whatever. You know, all these
stupid insecurities that I that I have. Let's go through
your dating profile says the worst.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I mean, like, hats offt you know, thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I appreciate that you are too. Let's go into your
dating profile because I need to hear. Okay, let's talk
about the photos. You can just describe like, like your photos.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
So nothing professional. Just that was on the way Christmas Eve.
Do you want me to read my prompt or do.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
You want yes, I want to hear yeah, Or do
you want to see.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
No, No, I could barely see, but just that your puppy.
Or yeah, oh.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
That's I'm a baker and the last one I did
to show up?
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Oh I love Yes, I loved to bake.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Oh my god, and you're and you're a baker, Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That's I can make food for my children, but I
don't make food for other people.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
It is my way of showing love to friends and family.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Okay, okay, first of all, I love that. What's the
app Which one is it?
Speaker 4 (28:21):
This one's hinge, but I'm I'm on Hinge and the league.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I wish you could see my pictures.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
I would love to see that. Wait we read me?
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Yes, So I have been told. I have been told
on dates that I match my profile perfectly.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I have been I have been told that.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
That's so good.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
So it says, uh, the prompt is my greatest strength.
It says I'm sweet, grounded, nurturing, fit and fun, full
of life and excited for the next chapter.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
I love showing up for the people.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
I care for sharing, laughter and building meaningful connect actions.
And then the second prompts is my simple pleasures. It's
a little repetitive because I say spending time with the
people I love, sharing connection, laughter and memories, and even
finding humor in life's challenges. I'm drawn to beautiful surroundings
(29:18):
and thoughtful details. And then I name a couple of
my favorite favorite places.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
And then the next.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Picture is me at one of my favorite places, and
that's the full body shot.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Where is it? Where is your favorite place?
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Uh No, it's ConA on Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh my god, Hawaii, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I love that, And it says what if I told
you that?
Speaker 4 (29:44):
And I respond with my life feels feels full in
all the best ways, but I can't wait to share
experiences with someone special alongside my wonderful family and friends,
which is speaks to I hope that I could meet
somebody that I fit into their life and they fit
(30:05):
into my life, which is circles back to when I
was saying, you asked me what's different now between dating
so long ago.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
And when you're young. You're not thinking about, oh can
I fit into his life? And will he fit into
my life? I don't know about you. I never thought
of that when I was in my twenties.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Now, I was just like, who is this person?
Speaker 4 (30:31):
And then another thing that I love to think about
is when you're young, it is all about the wedding
and the baby, the baby or baby or babies, and
I never thought about what life is going to be
like as an empty nester. And obviously I never thought
(30:54):
about I'm going to be building a relationship and it's
not about.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Making a family.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
And I just think that's very interesting to think about
because the relationship isn't necessarily going to be around, you know,
all the schedules and all the stuff that comes comes
with kids.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
That is so interesting because when I when I was younger,
I was a model and I married someone that was
a lot older than I was, and we didn't have
a traditional wedding. I didn't even go on a honeymoon.
There was no like I just was pregnant one day.
There was no planning, there was no like. All those
things that you're talking about, I just never experienced. And
(31:47):
I think that's one reason why I'm opposite, like I
am looking for a family.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
For my family, I'm looking for the whole.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
That's what I'm like, I'm always like, oh, this is
going to be great because I want that family. I
just always wanted and I've just you know, raised my
kids on my own for so long. I've been single
for so long for the right reasons, not for the
wrong reasons. And so it's like it's so different, we're
so different, But okay, what are your We're so different,
(32:18):
but we're very similar in a lot of ways. What
are your deal breakers and your non negotiables?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Deal breakers and non negotiables would be if you're an alcoholic,
that's that's a that's a deal breaker, right, that's no
smoking is it is a deal breaker. I mean that's
just something like on the app that you can kind.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Of filter filter through.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Yeah, I know myself and I know so many other
women out there. We do put a lot of effort
into how we look and how we present ourselves.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
And so if if I were to show up.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
On a day and you know, he's not presenting.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Well, it's you know, it could be a deal breaker.
I'm just saying, if you.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Know, right you are on department the same effort that
you're putting forth.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
I it doesn't have to be the same. I mean,
I might put in a little too much.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
What about like religion, politics.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
I'm very open minded on religion and politics.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Those aren't deal breakers for me.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
What if he has younger kids, like younger, younger like
seven six?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Yes, I don't see it.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
I don't see it, but I would definitely be open minded.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
To a meet and greet.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
With a hard stop and then some fuzzy slippers and
then a really great TV show.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Why to get married again?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
I think if I'm in a long term if I'm
in a long term relationship, I think it would bug
me for years and years to have the title of girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
So I do see myself as a wife again. Someday.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I would love to have that role. I'm not afraid
of it. Right, but again, it feels very far away, right.
Quick question for you. So you mentioned you are looking
to create a new family.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Correct. Yes, so I would say it.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
It doesn't feel like it feels like a dream that
I could find this. But my dream would be to
find somebody that adds to my son's life as well.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Oh one, But I mean like a person that's like like,
for lack of a better word, like a community builder.
Like I mean, I dated this one guy that was
just like it was only me.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
I'm like, no, no, no, no, I have two daughters, Like
it's not just me, it's all of us. Uh.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
And that just I mean I quickly because I just
was like, I can't do that. But then again, I
dated someone that was about my same age and he
had a daughter and he just was so disconnected from
his daughter.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
I mean, his daughter had.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Like she was this beautiful little nineteen year old and
she had like mismatched.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Socks, and I'm like, what is going on? Like that
kind of stuff does not work for me.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
So I couldn't. I couldn't connect with anybody like that.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Any of the dates I've gone on, I've been so
impressed with the type of dads they are, and some
of them went on multiple dates.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Okay, what if they say bad things about their ex wife?
Does that bother you?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yes, thank you?
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Yes, yes I hate that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
It's like that's like that to me as a dale breaker,
when you talk badly about your ex, because what are
you going to say about me?
Speaker 1 (35:56):
It's like a friend, do you know what I mean?
When they say something mean about something, You're like, m.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I just don't think you need to go there, right.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
It didn't work out. You know, we uncoupled. I love
the I love the Gwyneth Palott we uncoupled.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
It's very by. I mean just I just love that
you make cookies. I have to tell your cookies. So
I'm like, all I'm thinking about is talking to the cookies.
I'm like, oh my god, So you've made dating for
a year. What's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself?
Speaker 4 (36:24):
The best version of myself is my true, genuine self
I am. I really am in my skin, and I
think I was self conscious going into the dating world
being a stay at home mom, and I am proud
(36:44):
of that. I own it. It's so much a part
of who I am. Not to say that I won't
have a part two once my son goes to college
and I could discover new things. And I don't know
what that part too is, because I'm still focused.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
You know, on the part where he you know, he
is still living at home.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
It's really important to just like we were talking about before,
like just about you know, feeling good and you know
it doesn't matter how long it takes, and you know
what you have to remember, you know, people people when
people talk about unraveling a relationship. They're not talking about
the relationship. They're talking about, you know, emotionally, like talking
(37:33):
about that person, the memories that you had with that person,
kind of being able to put those in a in
a you know, that was a really nice part of
my life box and not like where you are now.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Box. It's just it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
And you know, people were like, I just want to
be great and fun and sexy.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Well it's like, you know, people, there's it's like damage control. Now.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
It's like you got to like, you know, do the
things that you really really love and focus on your son.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
And I mean, I'm excited for you.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
I'm really excited You're going to be great.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
One thing that my mom pointed out is dating hat.
Everybody that I have gone out with has has boosted
my confidence. So what it has it has been. It
has been healthy.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
I can't so now for anyone listening right now who's
scared to start dating again, like what advice would you
give them?
Speaker 4 (38:29):
You kind of need practice and that it's okay to
go out with that person that isn't going to be
the man.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Of your dreams. Just start getting comfortable with.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Be sharing a meal with with somebody and having conversation
and learning to talk about yourself and to ask questions
without it being an interview.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
And that's one I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
That I caught on Real Fast. I don't like it
when I'm being interviewed by by the date.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I have another question for you.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I have all these questions for you, like Kate's brand brand,
I know you'd be great like rapid Fire.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Have you ever asked a guy out in real life?
Speaker 4 (39:22):
No, because I am traditional in my relationships and I
do have in my head you know that if if
he wanted to, he would not.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Not that I've because I'm that would apply more.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
I feel like if I was out and about in
the city and maybe I worked, and you know, there
was somebody that I was eyeing, and I wouldn't I
wouldn't ask him out. I would I would wait. So No,
I've never asked. I've never asked. I've never asked anybody out.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
So do you need a new dating challenge? Sure?
Speaker 3 (40:03):
What do you have?
Speaker 1 (40:07):
You never know? You are on id perto we we uh,
you know we're open to all sorts of fun games.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
So my really good friend Luanne, because I was on Housewives,
I don't know if you know that.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
But I was on Housewives and my friend Luanne I
had her on and I asked her what I should do.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
So she said, write a note on a piece on
a napkin and send it to a guy when you're
at a bar, because you never asked him went out,
So maybe you don't have to you don't have to
verbally ask, but maybe like give all your number to somebody.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
No, that's not going to happen in this way.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Just in case you're wondering, that's what I said.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
I was like.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, how
about like just something casual like drink, question work. No,
that's not that's that's a word.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
That's even more anxiety written.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
But you have to do something fun because actually, listen,
when I did it, I was with two of my
really good friends and I'm like, you know what, I'm
just going to try this.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
There was a guy at the end of the bar.
I asked for a drink. He came over.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
He happened to be a love hotel with Luan, which
was very awkward, but I thought it was very very
funny and I and I and I was like, I
was very proud of myself.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
I was like, huh, look at me asking people out, and.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
I think I'm feeling plush just thinking about it. First
of all, when.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
Even it's you have to you have to know that
they're single, which would be I mean, yeah, I'm not
up for that challenge.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
What about giving someone a compliment like I really like
your shoes.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Possibly, I'm just trying to think.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
I don't think I'm in environments much because the places
that I frequent single.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
People really aren't there. So here, so my only.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Access to meeting people really is the apps. I mean,
I've been on vacation and I always keep my eye open.
But unfortunately, Okay, I just thought of it, Kelly, Okay, great,
what is it? So we were we were in Pebble
Beach and there was dad having dinner with his son,
(42:14):
and the sun was darling, and the dad looked cute,
and I looked for a ring and there wasn't a ring.
And if there was ever a circumstance to do what
you're talking about, that would be the only circumstance. But
I would have I would not have had the courage
to do that because I also do not want to
(42:35):
be hitting.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
On some they could have a girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
So no, not doing your challenges because I'm stepping on
somebody's toes.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
I feel like I have to walk with you in
the supermarket. I feel like we had to be like,
so are you a white flower? Or this is my
weird friend Kelly.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
I don't think I'm I'm I'm not going to ever.
I don't hit I just I like the compliments.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I'm like, I'm a big compliment person, but not not
in a disingenuous way. But I do look for things
to say nice things to people.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
I do.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
I always do that.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
But so I compliment is kind of a nice icebreaker
because guys don't really get compliments. They give compliments, but
they don't really get them. So maybe like some kind
of compliment I agree with you, I really think. By
the way, one of my closest friends, he's like, he
lives in Miami, and he was like, everybody goes to
the supermarket on Sunday nights to meet people. I'm like
(43:34):
what He's like, Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Like which one He's like, obviously Whole Foods.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I'm like, oh, okay, So maybe change up the routine
of your shopping hours. Maybe like tell your son to
be like, I'll wear it bag. Mommy has to go
buy some chocolate chips at seven pm. He's like, Mom,
you've got a storage unit full of them.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Well, I need some more.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
I do switch up my routine. And remember I do
live in the burbs. We're not talking there. There's a
ton of you know, single people. And I also, like
I say, very respectful. I kind of have the mindset
of everybody around me is married. That's why I would
never feel comfortable and hitting on somebody.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Okay, let's let's check the boxes. Let's check the boxes.
First of all, you're dating at profile fire. That's great.
You're so beautiful and so real.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
And authentic, So that's good. You are looking for the
right things, you have the right intentions.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
You're like ready, You're ready today.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Agree.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
I do go with my gut, and my gut so far,
knock on Wood hasn't served me wrong because I've met lovely,
lovely people.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
But I'm afraid the apps are dead now. I don't know,
so I might be going on a break.
Speaker 4 (44:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
I'll go ahead from Kelly, go to the supermarket. Thank
you so much really for helping me and for inspiring
our listeners I really really appreciate and they appreciate it,
and I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
If I can do it, they can do it.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
It's not easy, but honestly, it gives me an extra
kick in my step, even when I'm not crushing.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
It's fun to get that text. It's fun the unknown.
Could this be something? Okay, No, it wasn't. Well, you know,
I have the other things I enjoy in life.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
So, Kate, I want you to keep up with us
on the podcast about any new developments that have been
happening in your dating life. The podcast is all about
people like you and me not giving up on love.
So thanks so much for sharing your story with us.
Are you like Kate, I need help when it comes
to dating? Call us or email us. All the info
is in the show notes, follow us on socials, and
(45:43):
make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do
Part two an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in Love is
the main objective.
Welcome back to I Do Part two.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's your celebrity mentor Kelly Ben Simone and you hear
us on every episode. We tell you listeners to call
us and email us. The podcast is for you. I'm
so excited today because it's exactly what we're doing, she
wrote to us. She's a real life gal in her
I Do Part two chapter and I can't.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Wait to get to know all about her. Welcome Kate
to the pod. Hi Kate, how are you?
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Bye? Thank you? Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I love this subject so I actually I can't wait
to break all this down.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
There's so much.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Well, I'm so excited that you're open to this. So
first of all, congratulations being on the podcast. We have
a lot to deep dive deep into. So first of all,
how long have you been divorced?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I have been divorced three years.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
And how long were you guys married?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We were married for seventeen and a half years.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Oh my gosh, Kate, that is crazy. Wait, how are
you feeling?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
I feel amazing right now.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I feel lighter.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It sounds cliche, but I truly smell the roses now,
even this morning out my window. They're the same roses
that have been there for sixteen years, and it's really
just recently, I'm just I take the little things in now.
(01:49):
I'm just so much more grateful, whether you know it's
the roses or being with friends. So yeah, I'm feeling great.
That's not to say there aren't many highs and lows
of this.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh my goodness, Oh my godness. Wait, so do you
do you have children?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I do. I have one sixteen year old, a boy.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You have a sixteen year old. You look like you
are sixteen. Oh my god. So you have a sixteen
year old.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
And I'm forty nine.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
You do not look forty nine. Gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
So you have a little boy sixteen. So he's in
the middle of his own maturation process.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
So walk me through now that.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
You're single after seventeen years, walk me through, like how
you're dating with a younger son.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
I wouldn't be dating if he didn't give me the okay.
So it was at the a about two year mark,
and he had been out of town and I had
gone on a lunch date on one day and a
dinner date on on the other.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
And when he asked me what I had.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Done over the weekend, it happened organically, and I told
him I had gone out on two dates and he said,
as long as they aren't weird and make me happy,
that he doesn't mind. Kind of a typical boy teenager.
I don't know what it would be like with a daughter.
I think maybe it would be harder. But my son
(03:20):
knows about me dating and he yes, he's very supportive.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
So a lot of a lot of our listeners ask
about how to navigate dating with children.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And I also had I had very.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Young girls when I when I got separated and divorced
from my ex husband.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We were married for over ten years, and it.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Was really difficult because on the one hand, I wanted,
you know, I always wanted a family for my family,
So I was like, oh my gosh, okay, how am I.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Going to what does this look like? What is this
you know, going to be like?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
And I just I was so nervous to introduce that
to anyone for for a very very long time. And
you know, even when I would be introducing them, it
would be like a big group of people, so they
didn't even know like who was who. They're like, oh, yeah,
that's so one she works with it. They never really knew,
like what was what? So I love that you guys
(04:18):
are having this transparent conversation and I love that he's
supporting you.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I mean, that's so so sweet. It's so sweet.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Now having said that, he has not well, he has
not met anybody I've dated, because I would want to
be in love before I introduced him to anybody. So
I haven't even come close of wanting to introduce him
to anybody, even though I have met some wonderful people.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And so just like, I mean, that's just a big statement,
like to being in love. I mean, are you are
you nervous about doing that at some point?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I'm not nervous because it hasn't even come close to that.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
You're like, not even close. I've only been dating a year.
And when I say.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
That, I mean it's not like I'm going on all
these dates all the time. They're just obviously being a
mom that that doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
They're woven into your free time.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Yes, And so I am not scared or it does
not make me nervous because I know the person I
introduce him to it will be a long term relationship.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
And I and I want to keep my dating separate
from him, right.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I appreciate that, and it's I mean, it's also difficult
too because he's going, you know, he's in that magituation
process and he's like, you know, hormonally, I'm sure, like
all over the place and he's looking at girls.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And then he's like, wait, my mom is dating. I'm dating.
This is weird.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Wait I'm pros saying this. I'm like, wait, this is weird.
But I love how your handle it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
So how have you been dating? Have you been just
been meeting people?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Are you telling your friends, hey, I'm single, Like, what's
what's what have you been doing?
Speaker 4 (06:09):
So the first two dates I went on, I was
set up through mutual friends.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Okay, how is that?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
And I think it was so important for me to
rip the band aid.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
It is very It is not for the faint of heart.
It is so difficult.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Even the getting ready process, something you do all the
time that you think nothing of it, and even when
they're not cute you it's just very nerve wracking. It
is very nerve wracking.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
The going going with a total stranger.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You have to give yourself a bone. I mean it
has been two decades. I mean you were dressing for
your husband and now you're dressing for a day. It's
a totally kind of getting dressed. Okay, wait, tell me, like,
so what's your go to off it do you have?
Like okay, do you have a go.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
To Oh well, it depends.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I live in the suburbs and I do love to
go into the city for day and so, and it
depends on the time of year and the location and
what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
It look great right now, So this is like, this
is like a vibe, This is like a thing.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
This is I have my child's sporting event to go
to this afternoon, and it is going to be hot,
and I'm wearing the school colors.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Okay, well you look great. Green looks really good on you.
You know I always when people ask me, like what
colors to what to wear? I always say, like, something colorful,
because you know, men really love red, they love color.
I mean the you know, women are always like I'm
wearing black. Women don't necessarily. You know, one of my
friends who owned a store, she was like, are you
dressing for men? Are you dressing for women? And like, well,
(07:53):
when you're on date, you're dressing for men. So men
do tend to like more colorful things. You look you
look rate in color, so you should wear more color
that looks really good.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I'm just curious you're like a blazer girl or are
you like shirt?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Uh, Cammi, Cammi blazer jeans. I went on a date
a couple of weeks ago. I love Stod and in fact,
this is Stad and I had a Stad skirt.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
With just a tank.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
I I like to keep it simple, classic, true, true
to my personality and what I what I like to wear,
you can't beat. For summer, I loved my white Chris
blouse tied a little bit with white jeans. And it
was a super casual place, so some sneakers honestly to
(08:51):
just make it fun because it was. It was a
meet and greet in the like around for four to
six hours, so to speak.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
So I also don't want to look too dolled up.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Right, But let's let's talk about that because I mean,
obviously you're really pretty. And so when you're doing these
meet and greek do you prefer like do you prefer dinner?
Do you prefer you know, having a cocktail?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Like? What is it? What exactly is a meat and greet?
Let me in on this. I need to know this one.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I called a meet and greet because he lived out
of town and he was picking up his daughter from college,
and so he was in town and he only had
a two hour window, which fantastic because we did not
do a FaceTime before, which I do like a FaceTime
before to.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Cut down on nerves.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Okay, so it was I mean obviously at his picture,
but you never know with the picture. So that's why
I called it a meet and greek because it was.
There was a hard stop, which was amazing because check
the box.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I got a date.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
In I met somebody new and I was home in
my JAMMI and all comfy and watching a show.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
You know, it wasn't late because I did. I didn't
go out with him again.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
It was a My goal is to wait wait before wait,
wait before you tell me your goal. I just I'm
obsessed with this. So because I love how you are.
I love that you're like, Okay, I'm dating, this is
me dating. This is I'm going to dress the part.
I'm going to be one hundred percent there for it
with my meet and greet, and then I have a
hard stop because I need to go home to my
jammys and to my favorite show.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
He gave me this out of having the hard stop.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Oh he did what he's saying.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
He was in town before we set up the date.
He was in town to pick up his daughter from college,
so he had to pick her up at a certain
time at college. So we even take out for her
because she was going to be hungry, and I'm like, oh,
she would like this, she would like that. It's like,
so I didn't have to have that anxietiety of wanting
(11:02):
to high tail it and get out of there, because
it was a lovely.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I have the mentality on I think people.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
I mean, they're great people, And am I like super
attracted to them or am I feeling sparks? No, But
I think to sit down to a nice meal and
get to know somebody that I find interesting, I enjoy,
I enjoy the time. I just don't want to necessarily
(11:31):
go again or you know, continue continue, you know, to
explore it further, so to speak.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
So having said that, what do you think has changed
with the dating scene, Because obviously it's been two decades
since you've been on these dates, and all of a
sudden you're like doing these meet and greets and face times.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
So what do you think has changed?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
We are all checking boxes right, No, when I was young,
it is so boy me girl, girl thinks boy is
super hot, and the boys into the girl. And you've
met because you've gone to the same college and your
sorority you know does things with his fraternity, or you've
(12:14):
met during young adulting and you meet you know, you meet, oh,
you meet at work, and it's based.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
On like Jess, chemical attraction.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Connecting. You're not.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Mentally going through your checkboxes because this part too so
to speak of, which I am super excited for.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
But at the same time, if it doesn't happen, I am.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
I really am at peace for that because I don't
know if it will. Well.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Also, that's good though you have to stay I mean,
I think that one of the most important parts of
this I do era is that you're staying calm and
that you're celebrating yourself and all of these new possibilities
and opportunities. I mean, you never know, Like I mean,
I think that's one thing for me because I called
off my wedding last year, four days before I supposed
(13:13):
to get married, and so you know, for me, I'm
not thank you.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I mean, it still feels like that could feel like
a divorce.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Like yeah, it just was like very It just made
me feel very really really like very insecure. But I
think one of the things that I've learned through this
whole process is that I'm just more relaxed with who
I am and like I want I obviously want men
to you know, be.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Attracted me in all these things, but I also want
to just feel good myself.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
I'm just very I'm like very happy with that. Okay,
what kind of guys do you like?
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Come on, cake, give me the teeth, come on, Okay,
what kind of guys do you like?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So younger older?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Brunet Speaking of older, I mentioned that I'm forty nine.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Well, I mean, you're not old, no one, you're forty nine,
But I don't like the whole older.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I mean, have you seen yourself in the mirror? You're gorgeous, Like, okay, ages,
it's a number. I know, you're gorgeous. You could date anyone.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
The only people that I have been out with are
fifty eight, fifty fifty nine.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
And there was one guy that on his.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
Profile said he was fifty four. To his credit, he
looked dang good for sixty. And when I asked him
on his date, you know, I weave it in like.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Oh, when's your birthday?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (14:31):
And then I say, oh, I just turned forty nine,
Like how old are you?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
He absolutely wouldn't answer it.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Well, it's called Google, Like, I just I'm positive he
was sixty.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
So okay, but hold on, So how do you care
if he's not his age?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
You?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I mean, I don't, you know, I don't.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I really don't.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
I just feel I'm not saying that it couldn't work.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Do you think these guys are like nervous about their age?
I mean, do you think the tables have turned are
like we like, are we now? The ones that are like,
oh my god, why are you lying at your age?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Because women were like the men are like, they're lying
about their age. It's like, and so are you?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Yeah. This it hasn't happened once.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
It's happened a couple times, and at least one guy
he totally owned up.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
What app?
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Was it one of the apps? I think if you
I don't know what it is? He said it was
the AP's phalt. Okay, let's give him the benefit of
the doubt. It was the apsphalt, but I think ten
years older than I am, I would prefer like I would.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Prefer fifty two, fifty three, fifty.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Four, fifty five, but I don't know sixty for me
at forty nine, I'm not saying never.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
But you know, it's just interesting that it has all
been that age group.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
And then I think a lot about Okay, well, as
the years go on, does that mean then my dating
pool is going to be Like if I'm in my
mid fifties, is it then going to be the sixties?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
And that's kind of overwhelming and scary to think about.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Okay, but let's so, now that we've talked about the
guys that are around your age, what about the guys.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That are younger?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Never tried it?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
You never know?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Right on the apps, some of the.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Some of the younger so forty forty four, some of
them they haven't had kids yet and they want kids,
and that for me is right sales.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah, Okay, what about then if that's the case, Well,
what about guys that just don't want kids?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What about if they're like younger than what about their
late thirties. There's a lot of way when to stay younger.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I don't if they haven't had kids.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
You a lot of energy to your fun. You're like vivacious.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I am, yes, so you need someone that.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Has good energy, positive but.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I am looking for somebody that's family oriented. Of course,
the normal characteristics that we want in all the humans
that we surround ourselves with, kind, loving, consistent values, values.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Me and lets me be myself.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
One of the people I dated and he was fantastic,
there just wasn't the physical connection for me. I love
how I was completely unfiltered. I just he let me
be me and he made me feel like a million bucks.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
But that sounds amazing. I love that. I know, like
a million bucks. I know you should feel like that.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
I know. But for the long term, it just there
wasn't the chemistry even though he So that's a great question.
Even though he made me feel this way, there just
wasn't the chemistry where I can show you a picture
from an event we went to.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
But anyway, yeah, so what about have you been only
been dating divorce men or single dads or what's been like.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Your So I actually have been out on two dates
with two separate widowska rest have been divorce single dads,
and I do really connect with.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
The single dads because I love kids.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
I love well, particularly because it's the stage of life
I'm in. I love hearing all about the teens, all
about the young I call it the adulting stage, which
is like the second four years, you know, post college.
These kids who are living in New York, like living
their best life.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
I'm I'm all about that.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
So I definitely connect with men on on that level.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
What was it like to date a widower? What was
that like?
Speaker 4 (19:05):
They were both lovely? The first widower was only my
second date? Whoa he was only my second date.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Did you know that from the start that he was
a widower or you found that out?
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yes, it was a setup and it just felt like
yet he was.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
A type of guy I definitely, you know, should like
like just a good a good family man, a good person.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
He actually lived.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
About twenty five minutes away, so I had I had,
I had background, which is nice versus when you're when
you're on on the apps, and so it was a
it was a great It was a great date.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
The end of the date, did I.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
Oh so on the way home when they put mints
in their mouth? Because I was such a newbie on this,
but I kind of thought it what.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
God, why is he in his mouth? And why is
he offering me a mint? Even though I enjoyed myself,
I have.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
No desire, you know, to kiss him, and so I
just give kind of the halfway hug, you know, goodbye,
and and he asked if I would want to do
something again, and because I'm being open minded, you know,
I say sure.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
And then he.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Reaches back out just to like ask a question, and
I answer the question. And then I went through the
phase of wait, why isn't he texted in a couple
of days? But what is going on? I wasn't that
into him, So it was a little bit of a
wake up call, I have to say.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
And then he continued texting, Wait.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
So hold on, So he didn't text you for a
couple of days, and then he started up again.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
Correct, correct, And he asked a question. And I'm a
detailed person and I kind of didn't know the whole
I'm not calling it a game, but there is. When
you're used to being with somebody for so long, your
text can be long. And it's just one thing that
(21:23):
I taught myself that in the beginning, like keep.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
It short, keep it short.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
And he asked me like what I was doing or
something like that, and I went pretty detailed and I
never heard from him again. To be honest, now I
did find out he had been seeing somebody before he
took me out, I think is the story.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Okay, so you were basically goes to by a widower,
But what shouldn't he.
Speaker 4 (21:48):
Be like I was, Annie has a dad, Bob.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Hold on, but don't you think don't you think I
should be like, oh, feel okay to be like you
know their girlfriends say to them if you're going to
go on a date, just people like and just say
thank you so much, like you know, you know, I'm
just dating right now.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I love seeing you. I mean, I just think it's
so I think it's.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Just I don't know, it hurts my like hurts my
feelings if someone regard, even in work or anything, if
someone doesn't respond.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
So I'm always like, thank you so much, like it
was really nice seeing you. Even if I'm interested.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Or not interested in anything, I'm always I always respond.
And I feel like at our age, like we're of
the generation where we do like do that and but wow, I.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Can't agree with you more.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
I never got and it is uncomfortable and you do
feel bad, but it's much better to just say, hey,
I had a really good time.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
By the way, Like, you never know who you're going
to meet from somebody, So if I don't necessarily you
know what I was when I when I'm dating, I'm like,
I don't know who I'm going to meet.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
And that's part of it too.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Just because you're going in a date doesn't mean you're
like locked in for life. Let's talk about quicker or
slower in terms of the physical aspect. Do you think
these guys are taking these you know, popping them int,
going for the kiss and then pull them in tight
and trying to like have a deeper connection.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
I'm very good with my boundaries, very good with my boundaries.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Do I feel like they would probably?
Speaker 4 (23:27):
Yes, would they want to take it further right off
the bat, one hundred and ten percent.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
I just.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Can I interview you every day because you're amazing.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
And that's why.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
That's why after a couple of dates, it's not necessarily
that they're putting the pressure the pressure, but.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
I don't want them to continue taking me out if
I am just enjoying the company and I think they're
a really great person because ultimately, you know, it should
lead to a physical, you know, connection, And if I'm
(24:13):
not going, if I don't see myself going down that path,
then we shouldn't continue on the dates.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
And another thing I learned is.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Sometimes when I see if I can't picture myself ever
staying the night in their space, if I feel like
I wouldn't, it's happened well a couple of times. If
I can't say, see myself feeling comfortable staying the night,
(24:44):
then I shouldn't continue.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, you also have like a really nice aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I mean, your vibe is so great, and so I
think that's probably part, Like you're clearly visual. But I
think it interesting because I have I've got I mean
I've gone on dates and like some guys I'll kiss
and some guys I won't. And like I one guy
be like, oh, yeah, we were like we went on
in a couple of days after I was like, oh yeah,
(25:11):
you know first day, Yeah, she wouldn't kiss me. And
I'm like, why is this common knowledge? Why is everyone
to know this? And it's just it's just something that
happens or doesn't happen. I don't think it's like a
rule or there's any kind of like relationship, you know code,
but like there's some people that you want to and
some people just don't. Yes, I don't know, but I'm
(25:31):
not going to bring mints. I'm sorry, right, I'm not
going to mince in my bag.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
It's happened.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Like when they take out the gum, the gum or
the mints and then offer you.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I'm like, oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
First of all, mint makes me sneeze, so that would
be awful. I'd be like you, you be like Kelly,
you're sneezing. What's going on over there? Like your friends
are they setting you up?
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Or so?
Speaker 4 (25:55):
The last time I was set up, I kind of
kicked off my dating with two setups, and ever since then,
nobody I haven't been set up. I live in a
small community where really nobody is divorced, and that is
not an overstatement. My best friends, my whole friend group,
(26:17):
which I call my angel team, are all married and
being with them is my happy place.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
And I'm super lucky.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
That I am still you know, included, even though I
don't have a significant other. One thing that I've liked
about dating is it's made me not feel alone by
being divorced.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Since there aren't divorced people in my community.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Yeah, I've learned there there are great people out there
that are divorced.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
There are there are, let's talk there are. First of all,
there are a lot of great people out there.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Just because you went through you know, you had a
marriage and you are divorced, doesn't mean that you're like,
you know, there's a new opportunity for you. And I
love the way you're handling I really like, I'm like,
you're very cool.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I am not as cool as you, not at all.
I'm like, oh my god, just.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
Looking at you, I totally disagree.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I am so not cool.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I'm like, oh, persons there there are my feelings or
they're like I'm like, oh my god, that person just
thinks I'm a show pony and they don't want to
get to know me or whatever. You know, all these
stupid insecurities that I that I have. Let's go through
your dating profile says the worst.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I mean, like, hats offt you know, thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I appreciate that you are too. Let's go into your
dating profile because I need to hear. Okay, let's talk
about the photos. You can just describe like, like your photos.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
So nothing professional. Just that was on the way Christmas Eve.
Do you want me to read my prompt or do.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
You want yes, I want to hear yeah, Or do
you want to see.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
No, No, I could barely see, but just that your puppy.
Or yeah, oh.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
That's I'm a baker and the last one I did
to show up?
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Oh I love Yes, I loved to bake.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Oh my god, and you're and you're a baker, Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
That's I can make food for my children, but I
don't make food for other people.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
It is my way of showing love to friends and family.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Okay, okay, first of all, I love that. What's the
app Which one is it?
Speaker 4 (28:21):
This one's hinge, but I'm I'm on Hinge and the league.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I wish you could see my pictures.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
I would love to see that. Wait we read me?
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Yes, So I have been told. I have been told
on dates that I match my profile perfectly.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I have been I have been told that.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
That's so good.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
So it says, uh, the prompt is my greatest strength.
It says I'm sweet, grounded, nurturing, fit and fun, full
of life and excited for the next chapter.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
I love showing up for the people.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
I care for sharing, laughter and building meaningful connect actions.
And then the second prompts is my simple pleasures. It's
a little repetitive because I say spending time with the
people I love, sharing connection, laughter and memories, and even
finding humor in life's challenges. I'm drawn to beautiful surroundings
(29:18):
and thoughtful details. And then I name a couple of
my favorite favorite places.
Speaker 3 (29:25):
And then the next.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
Picture is me at one of my favorite places, and
that's the full body shot.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Where is it? Where is your favorite place?
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Uh No, it's ConA on Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh my god, Hawaii, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I love that, And it says what if I told
you that?
Speaker 4 (29:44):
And I respond with my life feels feels full in
all the best ways, but I can't wait to share
experiences with someone special alongside my wonderful family and friends,
which is speaks to I hope that I could meet
somebody that I fit into their life and they fit
(30:05):
into my life, which is circles back to when I
was saying, you asked me what's different now between dating
so long ago.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
And when you're young. You're not thinking about, oh can
I fit into his life? And will he fit into
my life? I don't know about you. I never thought
of that when I was in my twenties.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Now, I was just like, who is this person?
Speaker 4 (30:31):
And then another thing that I love to think about
is when you're young, it is all about the wedding
and the baby, the baby or baby or babies, and
I never thought about what life is going to be
like as an empty nester. And obviously I never thought
(30:54):
about I'm going to be building a relationship and it's
not about.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Making a family.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
And I just think that's very interesting to think about
because the relationship isn't necessarily going to be around, you know,
all the schedules and all the stuff that comes comes
with kids.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
That is so interesting because when I when I was younger,
I was a model and I married someone that was
a lot older than I was, and we didn't have
a traditional wedding. I didn't even go on a honeymoon.
There was no like I just was pregnant one day.
There was no planning, there was no like. All those
things that you're talking about, I just never experienced. And
(31:47):
I think that's one reason why I'm opposite, like I
am looking for a family.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
For my family, I'm looking for the whole.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
That's what I'm like, I'm always like, oh, this is
going to be great because I want that family. I
just always wanted and I've just you know, raised my
kids on my own for so long. I've been single
for so long for the right reasons, not for the
wrong reasons. And so it's like it's so different, we're
so different, But okay, what are your We're so different,
(32:18):
but we're very similar in a lot of ways. What
are your deal breakers and your non negotiables?
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Deal breakers and non negotiables would be if you're an alcoholic,
that's that's a that's a deal breaker, right, that's no
smoking is it is a deal breaker. I mean that's
just something like on the app that you can kind.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Of filter filter through.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Yeah, I know myself and I know so many other
women out there. We do put a lot of effort
into how we look and how we present ourselves.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
And so if if I were to show up.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
On a day and you know, he's not presenting.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Well, it's you know, it could be a deal breaker.
I'm just saying, if you.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Know, right you are on department the same effort that
you're putting forth.
Speaker 3 (33:13):
I it doesn't have to be the same. I mean,
I might put in a little too much.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
What about like religion, politics.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
I'm very open minded on religion and politics.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Those aren't deal breakers for me.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
What if he has younger kids, like younger, younger like
seven six?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Yes, I don't see it.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
I don't see it, but I would definitely be open minded.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
To a meet and greet.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
With a hard stop and then some fuzzy slippers and
then a really great TV show.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Why to get married again?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
I think if I'm in a long term if I'm
in a long term relationship, I think it would bug
me for years and years to have the title of girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
So I do see myself as a wife again. Someday.
Speaker 4 (34:17):
I would love to have that role. I'm not afraid
of it. Right, but again, it feels very far away, right.
Quick question for you. So you mentioned you are looking
to create a new family.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Correct. Yes, so I would say it.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
It doesn't feel like it feels like a dream that
I could find this. But my dream would be to
find somebody that adds to my son's life as well.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Oh one, But I mean like a person that's like like,
for lack of a better word, like a community builder.
Like I mean, I dated this one guy that was
just like it was only me.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
I'm like, no, no, no, no, I have two daughters, Like
it's not just me, it's all of us. Uh.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
And that just I mean I quickly because I just
was like, I can't do that. But then again, I
dated someone that was about my same age and he
had a daughter and he just was so disconnected from
his daughter.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
I mean, his daughter had.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Like she was this beautiful little nineteen year old and
she had like mismatched.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Socks, and I'm like, what is going on? Like that
kind of stuff does not work for me.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
So I couldn't. I couldn't connect with anybody like that.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
Any of the dates I've gone on, I've been so
impressed with the type of dads they are, and some
of them went on multiple dates.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
Okay, what if they say bad things about their ex wife?
Does that bother you?
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yes, thank you?
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Yes, yes I hate that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
It's like that's like that to me as a dale breaker,
when you talk badly about your ex, because what are
you going to say about me?
Speaker 1 (35:56):
It's like a friend, do you know what I mean?
When they say something mean about something, You're like, m.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I just don't think you need to go there, right.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
It didn't work out. You know, we uncoupled. I love
the I love the Gwyneth Palott we uncoupled.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
It's very by. I mean just I just love that
you make cookies. I have to tell your cookies. So
I'm like, all I'm thinking about is talking to the cookies.
I'm like, oh my god, So you've made dating for
a year. What's the biggest thing you've learned about yourself?
Speaker 4 (36:24):
The best version of myself is my true, genuine self
I am. I really am in my skin, and I
think I was self conscious going into the dating world
being a stay at home mom, and I am proud
(36:44):
of that. I own it. It's so much a part
of who I am. Not to say that I won't
have a part two once my son goes to college
and I could discover new things. And I don't know
what that part too is, because I'm still focused.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
You know, on the part where he you know, he
is still living at home.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
It's really important to just like we were talking about before,
like just about you know, feeling good and you know
it doesn't matter how long it takes, and you know
what you have to remember, you know, people people when
people talk about unraveling a relationship. They're not talking about
the relationship. They're talking about, you know, emotionally, like talking
(37:33):
about that person, the memories that you had with that person,
kind of being able to put those in a in
a you know, that was a really nice part of
my life box and not like where you are now.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Box. It's just it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
And you know, people were like, I just want to
be great and fun and sexy.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Well it's like, you know, people, there's it's like damage control. Now.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
It's like you got to like, you know, do the
things that you really really love and focus on your son.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
And I mean, I'm excited for you.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
I'm really excited You're going to be great.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
One thing that my mom pointed out is dating hat.
Everybody that I have gone out with has has boosted
my confidence. So what it has it has been. It
has been healthy.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
I can't so now for anyone listening right now who's
scared to start dating again, like what advice would you
give them?
Speaker 4 (38:29):
You kind of need practice and that it's okay to
go out with that person that isn't going to be
the man.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Of your dreams. Just start getting comfortable with.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Be sharing a meal with with somebody and having conversation
and learning to talk about yourself and to ask questions
without it being an interview.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
And that's one I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
That I caught on Real Fast. I don't like it
when I'm being interviewed by by the date.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I have another question for you.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I have all these questions for you, like Kate's brand brand,
I know you'd be great like rapid Fire.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Have you ever asked a guy out in real life?
Speaker 4 (39:22):
No, because I am traditional in my relationships and I
do have in my head you know that if if
he wanted to, he would not.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Not that I've because I'm that would apply more.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
I feel like if I was out and about in
the city and maybe I worked, and you know, there
was somebody that I was eyeing, and I wouldn't I
wouldn't ask him out. I would I would wait. So No,
I've never asked. I've never asked. I've never asked anybody out.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
So do you need a new dating challenge? Sure?
Speaker 3 (40:03):
What do you have?
Speaker 1 (40:07):
You never know? You are on id perto we we uh,
you know we're open to all sorts of fun games.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
So my really good friend Luanne, because I was on Housewives,
I don't know if you know that.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
But I was on Housewives and my friend Luanne I
had her on and I asked her what I should do.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
So she said, write a note on a piece on
a napkin and send it to a guy when you're
at a bar, because you never asked him went out,
So maybe you don't have to you don't have to
verbally ask, but maybe like give all your number to somebody.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
No, that's not going to happen in this way.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Just in case you're wondering, that's what I said.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
I was like.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, how
about like just something casual like drink, question work. No,
that's not that's that's a word.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
That's even more anxiety written.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
But you have to do something fun because actually, listen,
when I did it, I was with two of my
really good friends and I'm like, you know what, I'm
just going to try this.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
There was a guy at the end of the bar.
I asked for a drink. He came over.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
He happened to be a love hotel with Luan, which
was very awkward, but I thought it was very very
funny and I and I and I was like, I
was very proud of myself.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
I was like, huh, look at me asking people out, and.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
I think I'm feeling plush just thinking about it. First
of all, when.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
Even it's you have to you have to know that
they're single, which would be I mean, yeah, I'm not
up for that challenge.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
What about giving someone a compliment like I really like
your shoes.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Possibly, I'm just trying to think.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
I don't think I'm in environments much because the places
that I frequent single.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
People really aren't there. So here, so my only.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
Access to meeting people really is the apps. I mean,
I've been on vacation and I always keep my eye open.
But unfortunately, Okay, I just thought of it, Kelly, Okay, great,
what is it? So we were we were in Pebble
Beach and there was dad having dinner with his son,
(42:14):
and the sun was darling, and the dad looked cute,
and I looked for a ring and there wasn't a ring.
And if there was ever a circumstance to do what
you're talking about, that would be the only circumstance. But
I would have I would not have had the courage
to do that because I also do not want to
(42:35):
be hitting.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
On some they could have a girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
So no, not doing your challenges because I'm stepping on
somebody's toes.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
I feel like I have to walk with you in
the supermarket. I feel like we had to be like,
so are you a white flower? Or this is my
weird friend Kelly.
Speaker 4 (42:58):
I don't think I'm I'm I'm not going to ever.
I don't hit I just I like the compliments.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I'm like, I'm a big compliment person, but not not
in a disingenuous way. But I do look for things
to say nice things to people.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
I do.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
I always do that.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
But so I compliment is kind of a nice icebreaker
because guys don't really get compliments. They give compliments, but
they don't really get them. So maybe like some kind
of compliment I agree with you, I really think. By
the way, one of my closest friends, he's like, he
lives in Miami, and he was like, everybody goes to
the supermarket on Sunday nights to meet people. I'm like
(43:34):
what He's like, Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Like which one He's like, obviously Whole Foods.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
I'm like, oh, okay, So maybe change up the routine
of your shopping hours. Maybe like tell your son to
be like, I'll wear it bag. Mommy has to go
buy some chocolate chips at seven pm. He's like, Mom,
you've got a storage unit full of them.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Well, I need some more.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
I do switch up my routine. And remember I do
live in the burbs. We're not talking there. There's a
ton of you know, single people. And I also, like
I say, very respectful. I kind of have the mindset
of everybody around me is married. That's why I would
never feel comfortable and hitting on somebody.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Okay, let's let's check the boxes. Let's check the boxes.
First of all, you're dating at profile fire. That's great.
You're so beautiful and so real.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
And authentic, So that's good. You are looking for the
right things, you have the right intentions.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
You're like ready, You're ready today.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Agree.
Speaker 4 (44:39):
I do go with my gut, and my gut so far,
knock on Wood hasn't served me wrong because I've met lovely,
lovely people.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
But I'm afraid the apps are dead now. I don't know,
so I might be going on a break.
Speaker 4 (44:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
I'll go ahead from Kelly, go to the supermarket. Thank
you so much really for helping me and for inspiring
our listeners I really really appreciate and they appreciate it,
and I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
If I can do it, they can do it.
Speaker 4 (45:04):
It's not easy, but honestly, it gives me an extra
kick in my step, even when I'm not crushing.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
It's fun to get that text. It's fun the unknown.
Could this be something? Okay, No, it wasn't. Well, you know,
I have the other things I enjoy in life.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
So, Kate, I want you to keep up with us
on the podcast about any new developments that have been
happening in your dating life. The podcast is all about
people like you and me not giving up on love.
So thanks so much for sharing your story with us.
Are you like Kate, I need help when it comes
to dating? Call us or email us. All the info
is in the show notes, follow us on socials, and
(45:43):
make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do
Part two an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in Love is
the main objective.
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