December 6, 2021 • 45 mins
Dean made a major change in his life that might send him back to his “f-boy” days!
Jared shares all the craziness from the opening of his coffee shop!
And Dean opens up about the tragic loss of his dog Pappy.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hell I Suck at Dating with the Nonglert and Dared
Haven and I heard radio podcast What's Up? Everyone, Welcome
to an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating?
And you know, as it's kind of becoming a bit
of a trend lately, Jared is not here because he's
(00:23):
got bigger and better fish to be frying in his
cafe out there in Rhode Island. So I went out
and did something even better for you guys. I got
Eastern and Hannah to want to jump on the podcast.
And let me tell you what, it took some major
convincing to get them to be on board with this idea. UM,
We've got a great episode for you guys this week.
We're gonna keep it pretty light, pretty lighthearted. UM. Once
(00:45):
Jared gets here, we'll just kind of be caught up
with him and what he's doing with his um with
his cafe out there in Rhode Island. We're not gonna
have any guests this week, so we'll just talk about
some hot topics. But we got some juicy emails that
we want to get to later. UM. I guess I
would be remiss if I didn't take the time to
update all of the listeners on my life, so I'm
(01:07):
sure if you follow along on Instagram, Caitlin and I
just had to put down Pappy the past this past
week and Eastern r Hahanna. Have you guys ever had
to put a dog down before? Yeah, I put I
put my childhood dog down, Um this Passatoon, So I
know how you're feeling and how hard it is. Yeah,
Eastern have you? Yeah, A long time ago, and it
(01:29):
was a it was a very old dog. So I
was like emotionally ready for it. Um, but you never are,
you know, You're never fully ready to say goodbye. I'll
be honest with you, guys. It was one of the
hardest things I've ever done in my entire life. I
believe it was like it was because it's it's just
so weird. When it's a dog, it's like you're the
one making the decisions for it. You're like just something
about making a decision of being like, you know what,
(01:51):
I think it's time for you to go, you know,
and like obviously you do it for its best interests.
Like Pappy, for instance, he was diagnosed with like a
brain tumor three months ago. And it's crazy even looking
back when we made like our little videos for him
to like you know, commemorate him or whatever. As recent
as like August of this year, he was like running around,
hopping around, jumping on stuff, like smiling wagon his tail.
(02:13):
And then up until the end, he like never left
his bed, didn't eat his food, like, hated leaving the
house like all these things. So um, even with all that,
it was like one of the it was so hard
because you know, the the hospice comes to your house,
they you know, they give your heads up on what's
gonna happen. Um, they give two doses. The first doses
to like calm him down and get them ready. In
(02:34):
the second dose is the one that actually does the deed.
And the first one's going in and he's like Pappy's
like reacting and he's like barking and he's like shriek,
gig and pain, and in the back of your head,
like all I could think about was like, is this
Pappy telling us that he's like not ready to cross
over the Golden Rainbow road or whatever it is. So
it was, it was it was tough. And then like
obviously the aftermath of having an empty house, I think,
what we're gonna do next, because we are going to
(02:56):
foster and adoptive senior dog again because of the light
that he brought into our lives. But I think what
I want us to do next is get two dogs.
That way, inevitably, when one passes over, we'll at least
have a second dog, UM to tie us over. Because
the past five days, I guess this air is on
a Sunday, but we're recording on a Friday. We uh,
we haven't slept at home. We've slept at a hotel
(03:17):
every single night because we just can't bear being home.
We've like barely eaten. We uh, we have barely been
like drinking water. And I feel like such a drama
queen about all this stuff. But it's it's like, honestly,
been super super hard. But everyone has been so nice,
Like you guys all reached out and said very nice things.
I really appreciate that, UM, and that honestly has made
a big difference. But it's been a lot harder than
(03:38):
I expected it to be. Uh. First of all, I'm
so sorry for your loss, Brouh. Pappy was an incredible dog,
and I just like I think about Lois and I
think about how dogs are truly a part of the family,
and it's just really sad. And Patty was an incredible
dog and what you guys did form towards the end, uh,
and giving him the life that he ad. I mean
(04:01):
you you made his life better and you gave him
so much love. And I guess that's all we can
do for our pets, but it never makes it easy. So, dude,
I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry for your
loss and it sucks. As weird is this to say.
I thought about you a little bit, uh over the
past week, just because I know you had mentioned a
couple of weeks ago on a podcast that you had
to put your childhood dock down at one point and
(04:22):
how difficult that was. And I know how attached you
are to your dogs too, so I was like, I
don't know why, I just I kept thinking about that
for something. Yeah, man, I mean dogs, they're part of
the family. Brow and we put our family dog down. Brady.
He was always known as the fat one. He was
always a little overweight, and he's like he had trouble
breathing towards the end, and he was like snorting, so
(04:42):
he sounded like a pig. So it was very cute.
But yeah, man, dude, Lois, I like, well, I'm at
the coffee shop right now and we have a blown
up you know, poster or Lois on the wall. That's
how much we love our dogs. So I, uh, you know,
I know it's not easy. So I wish you and
Cale and I send you guys all my loves and uh,
it's hard, it's really hard. We're off to get some
(05:04):
peppy tattoos today where you guys gonna get them. I'm
gonna get it right about my sock lines, so as
little years are poking right about my socks whenever I
wear socks. And as much as a mistake as that
might be to get a tattoo for a dead dog
that you have, um, it just feels right, you know,
So why would that be a mistake. I don't know.
It just seems like a weird thing. Like if you
(05:25):
get a tattoo for everything you miss in life, you're
gonna have a body full of random tattoos, which I
guess I already have. But it just seems like a
weird thing to do. And I'll tell you, the Pappy
tattoo is far better than the Instagram one, So you're
already improving your tattoo game. I'll tell you what. Secretly,
one of the reasons I got the Instagram tattoo is
that way every time I got a tattoo, after the fact,
I could always be like, well, it's not my worst tattoo.
(05:47):
You know, that's actually not the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah,
it's only like the third dobest thing. By the way, Dean,
you also got a haircut. I did. Yeah, so the
listeners won't be able to see, but um, I got
a haircut. I was. That's that's how um that's how
hard I took the death. I just needed to change.
I didn't want to have hair anymore. I had to.
I had to start fresh and begin a new um. So,
(06:08):
for the listeners out there, I've got my old stupid
little u F boy poof on the top of my
old Dean's back. And part of it, too, was you
were saying, you know, Dean, back when you tried, you
were one of the most handsome guys I knew, and
I was like, man, he's he said that way too
many times not to actually really mean it. Um So,
I just I want Calin to be able to tell
(06:29):
me how handsome she thinks I am, and actually mean it,
because she always tells me even when I have long hair,
But I always sense a little bit of a of
a lie. So now I know when she says that,
she actually means she liked long or short hair better.
She uh, she claims she likes both, but I know
for a fact she likes the short hair better. And
also she's kind of been starved of the short hair, Dean,
you know what I mean, Like when we first started dating,
(06:50):
at the long hair, at the mustache, and then I
went baald at one point, and then I just kind
of grew it all back at once instead of ever
getting styled. So she's never had the full luxury of
being my girlfriend with the short hair. But also the
short hair is like tied to uh, you know, my
f boy days. So I guess condolences to her because
she might have no. No, no, that's not true. That's
(07:11):
not how this is going down. Come back, it's going back.
It's all gonna go downhill. As soon as he cuts
his hair, Dean's life just falls into shambles. Dude, it's
so nice having short hair, like you just jump in
the shower it's clean real quick. You don't have to
wear a hat. Seven. Like, as much as I love
my long hair, and I still find myself like grabbing
for my locks behind my behind my neck sometimes and
like being like, oh, yeah, I don't have hair anymore. Um,
(07:33):
and I do still I don't know. I guess I
still kind of wish I had long hair, but it's
just the convenience of having short hair so nice, you know,
you know a thousand percent. I cut my hair so
I can wear a hat because my hair is such
where it when it's long, it's so large and expansive.
I put a hat on just go r and falls off.
Even a beanie, well what about like a what about
(07:54):
like a cat like a cap, like a baseball hat. Yeah,
like they will not stay on. It's like it's so
annoying because it's like it just gets like so expansive,
it just grows and grows. Uh. So I got my
hair cut so I could wear a hat again. Like recently,
I'm I I wear hats all the time because I
have long hair, and I'm very excited to cut my hair,
so I stopped wearing hats. I agree and relate to
(08:16):
Dean because I'm I'm definitely gonna lose my hair. The
amount of times I wear hats because my hair just
falls on my face, it's impossible, Like now I will
be balding right Well, that's my big fear too, is
you cut your hair. There's gonna be one time where
you cut your hair and it never fully grows back.
You know what I mean? Oh thou, that's what I'm
terrified to cut my hair. I'm like, is it has
it receded in the past two years? I don't even know.
(08:37):
Am I gonna have bald spots? Why don't I just
keep it long and deceive everyone? And that's the thing
is we're getting We're getting to that stage of life
I would say in your thirties is when you really
have to start worrying about that kind of stuff. So,
I mean, if my hair starts falling out, I'll get
like hair plugs or something. Is we we have the
you know, like I talked to my friends about it
every onceince while. I not every once in a while,
but I've talked to my friends about it before. Like
they can't really grow their hair out because you know,
(08:59):
they got to go their office job, they got to
work at the five. You can't really wear a hat
in the office, right, But like you and I in Easton,
and Hannah already already has long hair, so I guess
she's exempt from this conversation. But like you can get
away with wearing a hat every single day, you know
what I mean. So it's kind of yeah, yeah, but
I don't think we need to talk about hair all day. Um,
I don't know, it's kind of fun. You missed the
(09:20):
rundown a little bit, so we don't have any guests
this week, be us talking about uh, just whatever we
want to talk about. And then we've got some emails. Um,
how is everything going at the cafe over there? Uh? Great,
it's really busy. We had our grand opening last night.
It was absolutely slammed. There was a line. There's probably
like fifty people waiting outside to get in. It was, uh,
(09:43):
and then like a hundred people inside. So and this
was consistent for like three hours, and so it was great.
It was overwhelming. I'm actually here right now. I've been
working sixteen hours a day for the past week. Uh.
You know, it's just starting a new business life in
the NFL. So if I have to, like, I hope
you guys don't mind if I have to like pop
in and out of the podcast, I promise, because it's
like I'm already getting knocks on the door. They're overwhelmed.
(10:04):
We're busy. We've gotta make sandwiches, people need drinks, and
it's just like it's great, it's overwhelming. But like I
just came back from the store. I spent like hundreds
of dollars because we're running out of everything. You know, hey,
life running a business, what is it, Cathay Like at
night it's a lounge. So we have couches and chairs
and to fireplaces going and very intimate lighting and really
(10:27):
want people to feel like they can come and get
a martini and where you know, I'm sweater weather, you
know what I mean, in front of the fireplace, have
an espressive martini, enjoy yourself, have some nice combo. You
guys do have a liquor license that huh Yeah, we
got a full air license. That was a very tedious process.
So I mean it took like probably about four months
and I'm still going through and now because as soon
(10:47):
as I got the liquor license accepted, I needed to
apply for a renewal for next year, so I had
to like go through everything all over again, which they
felt bad about, but they're like, hey, it's just the
way it goes. I'm like, oh no, Worris. So it's
been fun men, as you can hear, like my voice
is a little rast probably right now. It's just been constant.
But uh, and then of course, like still doing my life.
I have a pregnant wife. You know, there's a lot
(11:09):
going on right now, but it's all good things. A
little overwhelming, but good things. Is that what you get
for opening up a restaurant or a cafe lounge on
December one instead of January one is having to do
everything for twelve months and then renew it January one
for the whole year pretty much. But it's yeah, I
mean it's cool, man, it's fun. Like I love running
on business, I love owning one. It's chaotic and it's
(11:30):
it's crazy. There's people outside and they're running around trying
to figure things out. And so we'll see. We'll get
through it though, and it's gonna be fun. And and uh,
I'm really proud of what we have those far, and
everybody seems to be enjoying it thus far. Knock on
wood obviously, like no thing is perfect. I've had I've
had to deal with people who have like waited twenty
five minutes for sandwich, has been like I can't wait
any longer. Like I totally get it, Like I'll refund you, so,
(11:53):
you know, definitely just customer service, we get it. You're
proud of the cafe, as you should be. I got
a question for you, though, what are you more out
of cafe? What's it's? What's it called? Or help I
suck a dating obviously? Help I such a dating bro?
Come on, we've been doing this for years. Audrey has
just opened up. That's the right answer. But if you
were to go out in the Audrey's right now and
somewhere we're to ask you that same question off the air,
(12:14):
what would you answer be thousand percent? I'm so proud
of Audrey's bro worked so hard and put so much
investment in time into this place and help us like
a dating allen do once a week. I just here's
my concern, Jared. I just don't want you to get
caught up in this pipe dream of yours, you know,
Like I don't want you to forget us a little people,
because you're you're blasting off in this outer space with Audrey's.
(12:35):
You know, something tells me I'm not going to figure
about my I Heart Radio podcast that I'm very grateful
for having. So I'm saying, is man less work, less money, sure,
but less works. More specifically, just an hour a week
is all we oh, we need from you, so as
long that that's all we need? Um All right, Well,
we do have some hot talks, hot topics coming up,
(12:57):
and we do have to answer some emails. But before
we do that, let's take a quick break. All right, everybody,
welcome back to help I suck at dating um lo
and behold, we lost yet again. He's got his his
(13:18):
his pipe dream to take care of over there in
Rhode Island. So I guess we're gonna get in some
hot topics, but before we do, because it's rare that
we get Hannah and Easton as active participants in this podcast,
active hosts, if you will. And Hannah knows first hand
how much I despised the hot topics, not for any
not for anything that she's done wrong. I just don't
want to talk about machine gun Kelly and um and
(13:39):
what's d Megan Fox. You know, I don't want to
talk about toy Boy and it's eighty two year old
over which is actually pretty interesting and maybe we should
talk about that. But I just want to know what's
going on with you guys. Can you guys give us
some updates in your lives. I know Easton is a
busy guy working on seacrest. I just got shipped a
new box of carmel candy corn princess Um candy corn,
(13:59):
right that what it's called caramel corn? I think they
just sent you the regular popcorn. I don't think my
my flavors in there. But but your that's like your
caramel corner or do you just have like a special thing.
I did a flavor with Thank you Popcorn. They're they're
a popcorn company out of Massachusetts, and uh, they're they're
very good stuff. It's they did a peppermint bark for
(14:19):
the holidays. It's very good. I think they wanted you
to to try it. What about you tell us what
you've been up too lately? Please? You don't even want
to know. I have such a boring life. I just work.
I'm pretty sure you don't, because you're you're always traveling
up and down the California coast. Be you work on
a lot of amazing I heart radio podcasts, so there's
gonna be some something's going on. Well, I am going
(14:43):
to New York next week for a genle Ball, which
I'm excited about, and then I'll be home with my family.
I have. I have been going up north. I'm to
northern California lot, just just because I can work as
a remote or like spending time with my family. So
I've been for it. If you can. I mean, I
don't see why not? Um question for you guys. I know, uh,
(15:05):
this podcast isn't live. But was there a jingle Ball
in Los Angeles this December? Or is that only in
New York? Yeah, there's a tour. They go all over
the country. It's well, why the heck did why the
heck did help I suck a dating not get invited.
I even texted Amy and Danielle on the side. I said, hey, guys, um,
Kaylin is really she really wants to go to a
jingle ball? Can we make that happen? And I just
got crickets. Wow. Yeah, Well so the jingle Ball in
(15:30):
Los Angeles as we record this is tonight. Um and yeah,
I mean Dean. I'm a I'm a valued employee of
my Heart for Media. I've been with the company for
ten years. I've worked on jingle Ball and Wayneo Tank,
all these events. I sent a text sing, can I
get Can my sister get a ticket too? I've never
asked for tickets ever. I was like, can I my
sister get a ticket? She loves do jaquet again crickets,
(15:54):
So what's going on with that? It's a hard ticket
this year. There's the line up for Los Angeles is very,
very good, and I think, yeah, everybody wanted to go.
What's the lineup? Can you guys fill us in on that?
Oh my god, yes I can. Uh. This is like,
this is a good way to shamelessly plug iHeart Radio
and maybe get us some extra tickets for next year's
stingle Ball in Los Angeles. Can send videos, don't worry, thanks,
(16:18):
just post them on your stories. I'm sure I'll find
a way to get to watching them. We're gonna plug
an event that has happened already. H but if you're
an East Coast listener, you can also go see it
in New York next week. You know, even if you're
not an East Coast listener. Let's plug it right now.
The iHeart Radio jingle Ball presented by Capital One will
be streaming live on the CW dot com and the
c W app. That's this Friday, December. The lineup will
(16:40):
be different from the Los Angeles one, but he who
played in l A. We got ed Shearon bts, do Alipa,
doj Cat, Lil nas X, the Kid Learoy, So Weedie,
the Black Eyed Peas, Tate McCrae, Bozzi and TikTok Sensation,
Dixie Demeleo And that's who was in l A New York,
(17:01):
which will be broadcast live on the c W and
the c W app starting at seven pm Eastern time. Uh.
That lineup is I'm pulling it up here. Uh we
got ed Sharon du Aalipa, the Jonas Brothers, doj Cat,
Little nos X, Sweetie a j R. Kane Brown, Tate, McCrae, Bozzy,
(17:21):
and once again Dixie Demeleo. That's who's playing in New York.
I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I think the
New York line it's just a little bit better. Yes,
it's pretty big in the K pop scene. We actually
met a nice young man last night. Who was a
big BTS fan, And um, have you guys listen to
the music? I'm sure you have, right like in wanting
to work you're in. Yeah, I've listened to them alive.
(17:43):
What's your take? Could you guys love K pop or no?
I like aspects of K pop? I don't. I don't
see the um fanatic appeal of it, and I'm wondering
if I'm missing something. I think it's more geared towards uh,
young girls than a third five year old man. But um,
it's good. I mean I think Dynamites a hit song.
(18:04):
I think Butter is a hit song. Those are songs
by BTS for the uninitiated. But yeah, I'm not like
a K pop stand by any means. I don't like
anything about K pop Like wow, what why not? I
just don't. It does seem like the fan base of
(18:26):
K pop is like is like almost beatle like you
know what I mean. Like they're there. I don't want
to use the word insane, but they like go above
and beyond what normal fans do. I feel like it's remarkable,
it's it's really really I don't know, I've never seen
anything like this in in over the years of working
and pot music. I've never seen a fandom this fanatic
(18:47):
and this uh loyal as the specifically BTS, Like there's
are like like I shudder to think if BTS endorsed
a political candidate, what would happen? You know, it's they
could sway elections. I still certainly think that I don't
know why this happened. I don't know why my TikTok
algorithm thought that I wanted to see this. But there
was like this fan account for BTS that was posting
(19:09):
videos of Because I don't know the the details of
the band, I think it's like four young cream kids
right that singing dance and they were highlighting one of
them band members and they were like, just look at
this guy's moves. He's got so much swag. He's got
so much like rhythm. And I was watching the video
and I was like, damn, that guy does have a
lot of rhythm. Like I watched I watched the video
(19:29):
like nineteen times and I was like, this kid is
so smooth, So I can I like kind of see
like if I was like a fourteen year old girl
or continue old girl, I'd be like obsessed with him absolutely,
But yeah, I don't, I don't. I don't know. It's
just weird just here like people because like I guess,
BTS only plays like a couple of times a year
all around the world. And so this kid that I
(19:49):
was talking to yesterday, he was like, yeah, like people
are flying in from like London and like other places
in Europe just like watch BTS play, and like all,
I don't know. It's just absolutely mind blowing to me.
So I guess all that to say, I heart Radio
Music Festival is going to have these guys. And if
you're a big ky pop fan, you don't even have
to be there, as you were saying, you can just
stream live on the radio app. Yeah, just just watch
the jingle ball in the Oh. No, actually they're not
(20:11):
gonna be at the one you can watch live, So
I just just enjoy the thought. Um. When last thing
about BTS, I just think it's interesting. They came on
the Seacrest Show a couple of years ago, and uh,
you know, we have a lot of artists come through,
and it's usually like the artists and like someone from
the label and their manager. But BTS had all those people,
and they had like three or four security guards that
(20:32):
were like giant dudes with black suits and sunglasses, like
they looked like Korean commandos or something like they had
heat like those guys were. It was crazy. It was
like the Secret Service had come through. I've never seen
anything like that. Where was this. This is just that
they came to the studio and Bourbank to be on
with Seacrest and uh it was nuts. Like they had
(20:52):
like a full security detail. Like I was like ear
pieces and stuff and they're like, Okay, they're moving, they're moving, clear, clear,
like that kind of thing. It was so cool. So
you were breathing the same oxygen as BTS. That's amazing. Yes,
And actually, you know something I want to test on it.
I know you you pull the social clips for this show.
Here's what we should do. I should pull some kind
of clip. It doesn't even have to be this part,
(21:13):
just some clip from this show and just say like
hashtag BTS Army, we get into all things BTS. Uh,
hashtag b Yes. That's all we have to say. And
I think this episode will blow up. I'm just making
if we could reach a fraction of the BTS fan
base just to get to listen to this podcast. Hey,
I know for a fact, we'd have listeners for life.
(21:35):
B we would have probably the highest rated episode we've
ever had, because even a small sliver of a fraction
of the BTS fan base listening to this would um
put us ten times over, I think our highest listener episode.
So I agree, we're gonna hashtag BTS, hashtag BTS army,
hashtag love BTS, all the things. I agree this should
be a good little social experiment. I've never met them before,
(21:57):
but I've I have breathed the same air as as RM,
the rap Monster, he's the de facto leader. I've I've
read the same are as John Cook, I've I've read
the same are as all the guys. So can we can?
We can we appeal to our BTS fans real quick?
So what was it like being in their presence? Was
there an aura about them that they emitted? Or yes,
there was? It was incredible, it was it was tangible,
(22:17):
it was it was it was fungible. This this aura
that I that I felt. I it was like I
was in the presence of of pop superstar gods. That's
all I can see. And have you ever felt that
way in the presence of anyone else? I'm sure you
have no, no, no, no. You know, I've met a
lot of big pop stars and none of them felt
like BTS did. Because they're the best pop stars that
(22:39):
I've ever lived and we'll ever walked the earth, and
I love them. I would do anything for them. I
heard they don't even walk, They just float. Everywhere they go.
They materialize in front of you and just like because
they don't exist on the same plane as us, they
just merely take a form that we can comprehend as humans,
and then they go on to the next, the next place.
He said, I've got some questions for you, Well, just
(22:59):
more specifically one question, because I I do show your opinion,
especially when it comes to these types of things K
pop in in general, I just fairly value your opinion.
On Um, We're gonna go a little off K pop.
There's this singer in Japan I believe, who is not
even a real person. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yes,
Hot Sunni Miiku. I know all about her. Can you
can you just kill us like the debrief on that
(23:19):
because I got a general understanding of who she is,
but she is she's like the most popular singer in Japan, right, Yeah,
she she's up there hot. Sunni Miiku is not a
real person. She is an animated avatar and um, but
she is treated like she's a real person. She's technically
a hologram, I believe, and if if people out there
want an entertaining experience. He got to look up when
(23:40):
she was on the David Letterman Show because oh my god,
he does not know how to react to this. And
it is so funny. She's a she's an animated character,
and she's a pop star and she sings, and she's
played shows that like Arenas and stuff where it's just
a screen of this, like you know, she looks like
Sailor Moon or so she's just an anime character, but
people go nuts for her, and um it's you know,
(24:01):
my my brother in law is part of a project
for another character named MICHAELA. And uh, Michaela I think
is going to be a very big star. I can
show you guys a photo. But um, it's it's a
whole new generation of digital. Uh digital like celebrities, I
guess is the only way I can I can describe it. Um.
(24:23):
For the for the listeners at home, they're not gonna
be able to see this but I'm gonna show you
guys Michaela really quick. Here's what she looks like. Oh,
she is like a Sailor Moon. Yeah, that's a real person.
This is not a real person. They use a motion
capture uh to animate this person and she has real
relationships and like it's it's really it's really strange. And
(24:45):
then um, here's a hot Suni miik you um and
hot Miko's music is good. Uh, but she's not a
she's not a real person. It's it's really an interesting
you know. I don't know. I don't know why. I
was expecting it to be a hologram of like a
a looking person. But you're right, it does look like
a Sailor Moon character. More Michaela looks looks more like
like it's more noncanny value, Like she looks more like
(25:07):
a human. But Hotsunimiku is like a hundred percent like
a a cartoon. But it's a trip. It's it's it's
really wild. Um. I just feel like it would be
weird too. I know the gorillas kind of did this,
but like it just feels weird to like spend money
and go down to the stables center and then like
watch a screen of a cartoon. But I mean people
do it. But I guess, I guess if you think
about it, like all concerts are, in a weird way,
(25:29):
are very similar to that, right, Like you can pay
a bunch of money to get packed into it in
a big audience to like watch this little person on
stage perform for you because you're you're always gonna be
so far away, Like you're not gonna be so close
to be able to touch hatsunimiku, Like not that you'd
be able to touch he even if you were right
at the same counter anyways. But um, I think, yeah,
it's just in general, like you go to uh an
event to sing the songs that you know with a
(25:51):
bunch of people that already know the songs as well.
It's just so interesting to me. Um, I don't know it.
Uh with the world that we're living in, you know,
crypt occurrency's taken off, so why can't digital performers take
off as well? I don't know. It's crazy. Uh. Well,
besides that, I hope you guys have a good time
at jingle Ball in Los Angeles. I'm a little jealous
(26:13):
you guys are gonna be there. But I will say though,
The only reason I wanted to go was to make
my girlfriend happy. Because a lot of the singers you
guys mentioned, I only recognize like two or three of them, Um,
and the rest I like, you know, it's just not
It's just not my cup of tea. So I hope
you guys have fun. Is Kalen a big pop fan?
She is? She just like wants to see like Taylor
Swift and uh Dixie Dale Dixie Dyelmo, she's going, she's going, no, no, not.
(26:38):
I don't know who she wants to see. I think
she just likes like she she's more of the top
forty stuff than I am. Um, I am a little bummed.
I had tickets to a concert last week, but I
wasn't feeling well, so I didn't go to it. Uh,
do you guys know who John Craigy is. I don't
know John craig I know Johnny Craig. I don't know
John Craigy. John Craigy is a real human being, believe
it or not. It plays an instrument on stage. To
(27:00):
believe it or not? God, yeah, right, and today's stand
who to thunk? Uh, It's like he plays like really
intimate settings so it was like a hunter person venue
where you like sit at the table and listen to
this guy perform um. And I had been obsessed with
this music for like three years and then we finally
got tickets and right when we got tickets for a show,
he um, well not he, but like I got sick
(27:21):
and like we couldn't go. So I was devastated. And
so now we need to figure out how we're gonna
do that. So all that to say, I hope you
guys have fun. Um, thank you guys for for humoring
me and letting us avoid the hot topic conversation, because
this is way better than talking about uh Megan Fox
and Machine Gun Kelly stabbing himself to impressed her. I guess, um,
(27:42):
would you ever stab yourself, Hannah or Easton to impress
your significant other? Absolutely not. What's the craziest thing you
would do? What's the line that you would go up to.
That's a good question. I think if you're significant other
would be impressed by causing bodily harm, that's just you
shouldn't be with that person. They've got some more issues
(28:04):
they need to work through. Yeah, I find myself thinking
that a lot. Uh not, not that I should stab
myself to impress Klin by any means. But I find
myself thinking, Um, if you need to do this like
insane thing to impress this person, then that's just not
your person, because like it's just you're you're right, Like,
(28:24):
are you gonna keep stabbing yourself to keep impressing her?
Probably not if you need to change, like in any
major way. That's like not healthy for you to impress someone.
Like obviously you just shouldn't be doing it. And I
think a lot of people do that, and I don't
think it's the most healthy thing in the world. But
so we've established no one would stab themselves for their significanty.
That's good, really quick, just at the at the risk
of being called fake news, let's just clarify really quick.
(28:46):
He did not. It wasn't like Machinern. Kelly was with
Megan Fox and she's like, I want you to stab yourself,
and he said, I'll do a baby. He was throwing
a knife in the air trying to do a trick
and like landed on his hand wrong and stabbed his
like went through his hand. Oh I oh, I see.
So he was doing a knife trick to impress her
and then he accidentally stabbed himself, which again not something
I have done, and that's not a good idea. Um.
(29:08):
I used to do that thing where you put your
hand on the table and then you take like a
in this case of very sharp pencil and you go
between your fingers really fast. That ended poorly for me.
I was trying to impress some other boys. But yeah,
what's the name of that? Because I've played it before
as well, I don't know if that has a name.
I mean, I don't know. I know it does, it does?
I'm looking it up right now. It's called Oh darn it,
(29:30):
I'm not gonna be able to remember what it's called.
Oh five finger file at that's what it is. Baas.
The only reason I know that is because in Red
Dead Redemption you can play five finger flay and that's
the only time I've ever played. It's on a video game.
So uh, anyways, I'm a little bit embarrassed about that.
All right, Well, that's gonna do it for this segment.
Help my second dating. I want you guys to stick
through the break because we're about to get to the
(29:50):
best segment emails, So stay tuned. We'll be right back
a right, everybody, welcome back to help I suck at
dating time for my favorite segment. As always, we have
our emails and we have the Incredible East and treat
(30:13):
them for us. So let's get into him. We got
a couple of for you guys. Actually today, I don't
know if we're gonna get all four um, but we'll
do our best to get too as many as we can. Uh.
The Incredible East and thank you. I like that introduction. Uh.
This first one is from Mia uh. Mia writes, two
years ago, I met this guy and it was love
at first sight. The only issue was he was a
cop and the first time I saw him he was
(30:34):
trying to arrest me and my friend at a college party.
I know, not very romantic. After meeting him, I tried
to forget about him because obviously nothing was going to happen.
At least that's what I thought until I ran into
him at a cafe earlier this year. He recognized me,
and to my surprise, it wasn't painfully awkward. We talked
for a while and there was this insane connection. We
stayed in contact, and even though we never defined the relationship,
(30:57):
we started hooking up. At this time we got really
close us really quickly, and things just felt right with him.
That'll ended six months later when I found out he
was married. Yep, married. I broke things off with him.
But his wife doesn't know about me or a relationship.
Should I tell her? Is it not my place to
say anything? UM? I just want to point out I
appreciate whoever wrote this Mia if if you're a real
(31:19):
person or if you're a Japanese digitalized artist, I really
appreciate you taking the time to send us something. UM.
I want to say, Oh, this is actually kind of
a tricky one because you're right. Do you take the
moral high ground and say something to the wife? Do
you say something of the husband? I'm kind of torn,
Like it's first and foremost, you didn't do anything wrong
(31:40):
because you didn't know, so you should never harbor any
guilt for what you did. Um, but do you get
involved in this person's marriage? I like, my gut says yes,
but also do you want my But do you also
want to bring that upon yourself because you're then gonna
be putting yourself in the middle of it. And thinks
you get a little spy to see so I don't know.
(32:02):
I like I want to hear what you guys think. First.
You know, we get these questions all the time you
find out you're the other person, and they ask should
I content? I always say no, I don't think that,
especially when this was like you had nothing, you didn't anything,
you didn't do anything wrong. This wasn't your fault. This
is his fault. But I think if you tell the wife,
(32:23):
I don't think she'd believe you. Um. I think she
would see you as some a woman trying to ruin
their marriage. I don't think it would end very well
for you, and I don't think it would give anyone
any satisfaction. I think you just stay out of it
and uh never speak to this person again and hopefully
try not to get arrested by him in the future
because things won't go as well. Let me ask you
this though. Let's say you're married to someone, and I mean,
(32:45):
I'm not even gonna say your current marriage because I
don't want that to even be put out in the universe.
Hypothetically you're married to someone they cheat on you, would
you not want the person that they cheat on you
with to come and tell you, or would you rather
just be oblivious to the idea? For forever. I mean
I would like to know. I would like to know
from my partner, ideally, because when it's the other person,
(33:06):
there's another like oh my god, you know, like did
this really happen? And I don't know it's it's a
it makes it messire. Um. So yeah, I guess i'd
want to know. I guess that makes me a hypocrite,
but I stand by that advice. I say, don't contact
the life. I don't think that's a good what's your
tax Since you're you're the you've got a better female
(33:28):
perspective than we do. Of course I would. I would
want to know if I if I'm putting myself in
the the wife's shoes, I would want to know. Um.
I do get that it's a sticky situation. But even if,
like my current boyfriend was cheating on me and he
wasn't telling me, I would appreciate it if someone came
to me and let me know, because I wouldn't want
(33:49):
to be in a relationship where somebody's cheating on me, right,
I agree, that would be horrible. I think what you
should do, Mia is instead of approaching the wife, approached
the cop and say something and like you know, like
like say, how dare you? How despicable are you? Blah
blah blah um, and don't like threaten anything, but like
at least make it known that you know that he
(34:09):
uh was cheating on his wife. I think that uh
is the first step because I don't think there's any
like moral obligation that this person has, but it does
feel like something that could weigh on someone's conscious, you know, like,
but you're right, she like has no obligation. It's I
don't know, it's tricky. It's definitely tricky. Obviously stopped looking
up at the cop. It sounds like you already have UM.
I would just go talk to the cop and be
like this is unacceptable, etcetera, etcetera, and then see where
(34:32):
it goes from there. Maybe the maybe the couple develops
some sort of conscious doubtful but uh, and then maybe
he'll go to his wife and tell her what's going on.
But I don't know. That's what I think. And also
when I first start reading the email, I was like,
oh man, this guy is like hitting on someone that
he like arrested. That's like not chilled too. That's what
a boundary to cross. And then I saw the other.
This guy has no boundaries at all. So it sounds
(34:53):
like it sounds like the intro to like some Brawsers episode,
you know, like uh for the undered formed. Sounds like
a like a like a porn porn movie introduction, you know,
like cop arrests kid. Kid is interested in the cop
copsies kid again. They go back to cops house to
hook up. Like it just seems it seems a little
two story buck bad story book, the wrong storybook there.
(35:15):
You don't have the story book you want to be in.
But let me put this out there the listeners. If
this email became penthouse for him or something like that,
I would not have a problem with that. I'll be
honest with you, guys. I was googling parts of those
sentences because I was like, this can't be real. But
I didn't find anything, so it could be very real. Wow.
Uh anyway, let's see if I let's see if Kerry
has something. Just a spicy um carry says. I have
(35:37):
been with my boyfriend for three years now. For about
two of those years, we've been talking about moving across
the country to be closer to my family and a
less expensive cost of living. We live in California. I
hear that we're in a great relationship and I love
him very much, but I'm not happy in the city
we live in. A Few months ago, my boyfriend got
a new job that he absolutely loves here in this city.
It's the best job he's ever had, he loves his
(35:58):
co workers. He's already up for promotion. However, I remain
secretly miserable. I don't want to tear him away from
a job that makes him happy that I'm at a
point in my life where I'm ready to buy a
house and settle into an area that will make me happy,
and I simply can't see it being here. Help. Do
I choose love or location? M hmm. I think I'll
(36:18):
probably get some pushback on this, but I think you
choose location because you're never gonna be happy with the
person you love in a place you don't like. Well,
I take that back. You're probably going to always have
this like a little bit of remorse inside of you,
eating way chipping away on a regular basis, being somewhere
you don't want to be, even though you're with the
person you want to be with. So I think location
(36:39):
is just as important as the person that you're with,
you could do what Kaylin and I did. We could
you could get a place there and here and then
bounce back and forth between the two of them if
you want to do that. I don't know if if
your situation allows for that, but I think location, like,
for instance, even like, okay, let's pull back to The
Bachelor real quick. We saw Joe and Kendall. That seems
like they broke up because Joe wanted to be in
the Midwest and kind of wanted to be on the
(37:00):
West Coast, and uh, you know, they loved each other
and obviously they had to break up, and I like
feel like that's a very reasonable thing to do. So
I think location, uh is a very important thing. And
I think that if you really are miserable in the
place that you're at, even though you're with the person
you love, that it's time to make a change. For once.
I agree with you. Yeah, yeah, is that the first time? No,
(37:21):
not the first time. It's It's rare though, But I
am curious how old these people are because I'm thinking
about if I were in this situation. I've been with
my boyfriend for over four years, and I would not
move somewhere just because he wants to move there. Like
we're doing long distance and he's asked me many times
if I would move up to San Francisco so we
(37:44):
could be closer. But I want to be in l
A right now, and if I don't prioritize myself, then
I'm not going to be happy in this relationship right
And also, what's stopping him from moving back down to
Los Angeles? Like exactly, it's and he has a job
in San Francisco that he loves and that's great, and
I want him to be happy and I want myself
to be happy. So we're both happy and we can
make it work, then that's fine. Granted we still are
(38:06):
in the same state. It would probably be different if
we lived on opposite sides of the country, but you
never know. I just think it goes both ways, Like
for instance, in this email with Kerry, like you want
to live or you want to live and he wants
to live where he has a great job, but like
why can't he find a new job in the place
that you want to live? And like I just think that,
(38:27):
like if you're the one sacrificing everything to be in
the relationship and you're living where he wants to live,
and like, what else are you going to bend on?
And how much less of your identity are you gonna
have later on? So I think it's very important to
like put your foot down and make these decisions. Yes,
I agree, I agree, I agreed to Wow, I really
thought I was gonna get a lot more pushback on that. Um,
do you want to just do one more Eastern We
can do Hunters email and then we can get out
(38:48):
of here and you guys can go to jingle Ball.
Sounds good to me. I still gotta do my hair
and makeup and everything. Uh. This this is from Hunter
as said. I met my girlfriend in college and we've
been in a committed relationship for the past five years.
But about a month ago I found out she cheated
on me. She was out partying with some friends and
ended up hooking up with this guy. She was upfront
and honest with me and told me what happened right away.
(39:10):
She said it was a mistake and that she still
loves me and wants to try to make this work.
It was a hard conversation, and I was obviously really
angry and hurt. In the moment, we decided to take
a break, but after thinking about things, I think or
I know, I wanted to try and work through this
and stay together. Most of my friends think I'm an
idiot for even considering taking her back, but I literally
can't imagine my life without her. Do you think you
can ever move past cheating and relationships? Have you ever?
(39:33):
Would you ever stay with someone that cheated on you? O?
What's funny? We talked about what are we kind of
talking about this earlier? A little bit? Oh with the
husband with the cop in that that's right? Um? I
would say, yeah, I would say that this is fine.
She was upfront and honest with me and told me
what happened right away. I think that's ah, that's the
(39:54):
operative sentence there, you know, like as long as she's
being forthright and honest with you. People make mistakes, especially
when they're parties, especially when they're young, especially when they're drinking.
So I think, uh, as bad as it is, just
like I think, as long as you can find it
in your heart to forgive her and like not hold
it against her or hold it over her head ever, UM,
I think that definitely could be something that's worked past.
(40:16):
It's not a deal, but I think it happens more
frequently than you think. Yeah, yeah, you know, Uh, I
think it can definitely be moved past. And something I
think a lot about is that the problem with um
cheating is not so much the like physical connection, like
(40:36):
like that intimate physical moment with another person. I think
it's more the lying and the betrayal that comes with that.
Uh So, the fact that you know she was upfront
about it right away. You didn't give her like she
didn't have an opportunity to lie because she just got
it out in the open. I think that's a positive
way to look at it. And I think that it's
(40:58):
worth giving it another try. And uh, you know, there
has to be some concessions. Now I don't know the
details in which this cheating happened, but maybe they you know,
maybe you don't hang out with that friend again or
something like that, but you know, your relationship is not
gonna be the same. But I definitely think it's you know,
you can move on from this. That's my personal opinion. Yeah, Hannah,
(41:19):
what do you think? This one is hard? Because I
think that it is possible that people can move past
cheating and relationships, but it depends on the type of person.
That you are. I fear forgiving and understanding impatient. Sure,
I don't think I could ever, especially if I was
with someone for five years and then they decided to
(41:40):
cheat on me. But I know people like some of
my friends have been in relationships and similar situations have
happened and they've worked through it and now they seem
happy and they're still going strong. So I do think
it's a possibility. Definitely. I will say that I do
see your point. So when I was in high school,
I was cheating it on pretty frequently by my high
(42:01):
school girlfriend. And I remember after the first time I
was cheated on, I was like, uh, the like the
feelings and the emotions that I felt inside of me.
I was like, I knew for a fact I would
never be able to fully get over it. So like, imagine,
you know, we stay together and four years later, they're
still gonna be like this weird, festering emotion that I
have because I know for a fact, like there's like
the trust, the trust has been breached, and I'll never
(42:22):
fully be able to regain all that trust. So I
think as long as you're the kind of person that's
going to be able to fully put it behind them.
But you never want to be in a relationship where
um where you're you're you're angry at the person NonStop,
you know, or you resent them for any stretch, for
for any reason because they cheated on you. So I
think if you can put that all that behind you
and move on and actually get over it, then you
(42:43):
can definitely stay in a relationship with her. But if
you can't and you're going to continue to like dwell
on it and be piste off about it, then maybe
it's best to not be in the relationship. I'm getting
I'm getting two nods from you guys, so I'm gonna
go ahead and say that was the right answer. Thank
you very much Hunter for emailing us. Uh, keep emailing us.
I suck a dating at i heeart media dot com.
(43:03):
We have one more email, but we're not going to
get to it this week. We're gonna save it for
next week. So I'm sorry, ardent, but thank you for
emailing us again. Email us at I suck at dating
at i heeart media dot com. I want to go
ahead and just take a second. I want to take
a second, and I just wanted to thank Jared for
for being here on this podcast with us. I want,
(43:25):
I just want, I want everyone to know that Jared's
presence today was just it was very appreciated. Jared walked
away in a busy restaurant, left his zoom on, so
you're I'm sorry, brother, I'm so sorry. I've literally we're
signing off right now, are we? We are. If it
wasn't for Jared, this episode would have it would have
(43:47):
sank like a rock. But with him here, we were
able to keep our head above water. So I just
want to say I appreciate you, buddy. Hey, anytime, you know,
I'm just really here to help the podcast or whatever.
I can make sure that you guys are making money,
staying organized on time. Uh yeah, just the little things really.
Uh well, if anybody in Rhode Island please come to Audrey's,
(44:08):
I appreciate it. You'll see me in the back making
sandwiches or making drinks behind the bar. It will be
fun times. I really appreciate. I love you all. Thank
you so much for picking up the slack today. I
really appreciate it. We got slammed right there and I'm
pretty sure everybody was about to kill me, but was
really fun. Hey, help, I suck at Dating, Baby Stuck Army,
(44:29):
I'm here for you. I I need to be here more.
This is ridiculous. I like how this podcast is just
turned into one long plug for Aubrey's Lounge on Rhode
Island before Rhode Island. I like Dean doesn't even know
the name of Audrey's Audrey. I've gotta I've gotta knock
you off your pedestal a little bit um Eastern Hannah,
thank you guys so much for being such an important
part of this episode. Do you want to do you
(44:50):
want to sign us off? Hey? Just make sure you
guys tune in next week, where hopefully Audrey sucks a
little less. Aubrey's follow hell by Suck at Dating on
I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast mm
hm
Hell I Suck at Dating with the Nonglert and Dared
Haven and I heard radio podcast What's Up? Everyone, Welcome
to an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating?
And you know, as it's kind of becoming a bit
of a trend lately, Jared is not here because he's
(00:23):
got bigger and better fish to be frying in his
cafe out there in Rhode Island. So I went out
and did something even better for you guys. I got
Eastern and Hannah to want to jump on the podcast.
And let me tell you what, it took some major
convincing to get them to be on board with this idea. UM,
We've got a great episode for you guys this week.
We're gonna keep it pretty light, pretty lighthearted. UM. Once
(00:45):
Jared gets here, we'll just kind of be caught up
with him and what he's doing with his um with
his cafe out there in Rhode Island. We're not gonna
have any guests this week, so we'll just talk about
some hot topics. But we got some juicy emails that
we want to get to later. UM. I guess I
would be remiss if I didn't take the time to
update all of the listeners on my life, so I'm
(01:07):
sure if you follow along on Instagram, Caitlin and I
just had to put down Pappy the past this past
week and Eastern r Hahanna. Have you guys ever had
to put a dog down before? Yeah, I put I
put my childhood dog down, Um this Passatoon, So I
know how you're feeling and how hard it is. Yeah,
Eastern have you? Yeah, A long time ago, and it
(01:29):
was a it was a very old dog. So I
was like emotionally ready for it. Um, but you never are,
you know, You're never fully ready to say goodbye. I'll
be honest with you, guys. It was one of the
hardest things I've ever done in my entire life. I
believe it was like it was because it's it's just
so weird. When it's a dog, it's like you're the
one making the decisions for it. You're like just something
about making a decision of being like, you know what,
(01:51):
I think it's time for you to go, you know,
and like obviously you do it for its best interests.
Like Pappy, for instance, he was diagnosed with like a
brain tumor three months ago. And it's crazy even looking
back when we made like our little videos for him
to like you know, commemorate him or whatever. As recent
as like August of this year, he was like running around,
hopping around, jumping on stuff, like smiling wagon his tail.
(02:13):
And then up until the end, he like never left
his bed, didn't eat his food, like, hated leaving the
house like all these things. So um, even with all that,
it was like one of the it was so hard
because you know, the the hospice comes to your house,
they you know, they give your heads up on what's
gonna happen. Um, they give two doses. The first doses
to like calm him down and get them ready. In
(02:34):
the second dose is the one that actually does the deed.
And the first one's going in and he's like Pappy's
like reacting and he's like barking and he's like shriek,
gig and pain, and in the back of your head,
like all I could think about was like, is this
Pappy telling us that he's like not ready to cross
over the Golden Rainbow road or whatever it is. So
it was, it was it was tough. And then like
obviously the aftermath of having an empty house, I think,
what we're gonna do next, because we are going to
(02:56):
foster and adoptive senior dog again because of the light
that he brought into our lives. But I think what
I want us to do next is get two dogs.
That way, inevitably, when one passes over, we'll at least
have a second dog, UM to tie us over. Because
the past five days, I guess this air is on
a Sunday, but we're recording on a Friday. We uh,
we haven't slept at home. We've slept at a hotel
(03:17):
every single night because we just can't bear being home.
We've like barely eaten. We uh, we have barely been
like drinking water. And I feel like such a drama
queen about all this stuff. But it's it's like, honestly,
been super super hard. But everyone has been so nice,
Like you guys all reached out and said very nice things.
I really appreciate that, UM, and that honestly has made
a big difference. But it's been a lot harder than
(03:38):
I expected it to be. Uh. First of all, I'm
so sorry for your loss, Brouh. Pappy was an incredible dog,
and I just like I think about Lois and I
think about how dogs are truly a part of the family,
and it's just really sad. And Patty was an incredible
dog and what you guys did form towards the end, uh,
and giving him the life that he ad. I mean
(04:01):
you you made his life better and you gave him
so much love. And I guess that's all we can
do for our pets, but it never makes it easy. So, dude,
I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry for your
loss and it sucks. As weird is this to say.
I thought about you a little bit, uh over the
past week, just because I know you had mentioned a
couple of weeks ago on a podcast that you had
to put your childhood dock down at one point and
(04:22):
how difficult that was. And I know how attached you
are to your dogs too, so I was like, I
don't know why, I just I kept thinking about that
for something. Yeah, man, I mean dogs, they're part of
the family. Brow and we put our family dog down. Brady.
He was always known as the fat one. He was
always a little overweight, and he's like he had trouble
breathing towards the end, and he was like snorting, so
(04:42):
he sounded like a pig. So it was very cute.
But yeah, man, dude, Lois, I like, well, I'm at
the coffee shop right now and we have a blown
up you know, poster or Lois on the wall. That's
how much we love our dogs. So I, uh, you know,
I know it's not easy. So I wish you and
Cale and I send you guys all my loves and uh,
it's hard, it's really hard. We're off to get some
(05:04):
peppy tattoos today where you guys gonna get them. I'm
gonna get it right about my sock lines, so as
little years are poking right about my socks whenever I
wear socks. And as much as a mistake as that
might be to get a tattoo for a dead dog
that you have, um, it just feels right, you know,
So why would that be a mistake. I don't know.
It just seems like a weird thing. Like if you
(05:25):
get a tattoo for everything you miss in life, you're
gonna have a body full of random tattoos, which I
guess I already have. But it just seems like a
weird thing to do. And I'll tell you, the Pappy
tattoo is far better than the Instagram one, So you're
already improving your tattoo game. I'll tell you what. Secretly,
one of the reasons I got the Instagram tattoo is
that way every time I got a tattoo, after the fact,
I could always be like, well, it's not my worst tattoo.
(05:47):
You know, that's actually not the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Yeah,
it's only like the third dobest thing. By the way, Dean,
you also got a haircut. I did. Yeah, so the
listeners won't be able to see, but um, I got
a haircut. I was. That's that's how um that's how
hard I took the death. I just needed to change.
I didn't want to have hair anymore. I had to.
I had to start fresh and begin a new um. So,
(06:08):
for the listeners out there, I've got my old stupid
little u F boy poof on the top of my
old Dean's back. And part of it, too, was you
were saying, you know, Dean, back when you tried, you
were one of the most handsome guys I knew, and
I was like, man, he's he said that way too
many times not to actually really mean it. Um So,
I just I want Calin to be able to tell
(06:29):
me how handsome she thinks I am, and actually mean it,
because she always tells me even when I have long hair,
But I always sense a little bit of a of
a lie. So now I know when she says that,
she actually means she liked long or short hair better.
She uh, she claims she likes both, but I know
for a fact she likes the short hair better. And
also she's kind of been starved of the short hair, Dean,
you know what I mean, Like when we first started dating,
(06:50):
at the long hair, at the mustache, and then I
went baald at one point, and then I just kind
of grew it all back at once instead of ever
getting styled. So she's never had the full luxury of
being my girlfriend with the short hair. But also the
short hair is like tied to uh, you know, my
f boy days. So I guess condolences to her because
she might have no. No, no, that's not true. That's
(07:11):
not how this is going down. Come back, it's going back.
It's all gonna go downhill. As soon as he cuts
his hair, Dean's life just falls into shambles. Dude, it's
so nice having short hair, like you just jump in
the shower it's clean real quick. You don't have to
wear a hat. Seven. Like, as much as I love
my long hair, and I still find myself like grabbing
for my locks behind my behind my neck sometimes and
like being like, oh, yeah, I don't have hair anymore. Um,
(07:33):
and I do still I don't know. I guess I
still kind of wish I had long hair, but it's
just the convenience of having short hair so nice, you know,
you know a thousand percent. I cut my hair so
I can wear a hat because my hair is such
where it when it's long, it's so large and expansive.
I put a hat on just go r and falls off.
Even a beanie, well what about like a what about
(07:54):
like a cat like a cap, like a baseball hat. Yeah,
like they will not stay on. It's like it's so
annoying because it's like it just gets like so expansive,
it just grows and grows. Uh. So I got my
hair cut so I could wear a hat again. Like recently,
I'm I I wear hats all the time because I
have long hair, and I'm very excited to cut my hair,
so I stopped wearing hats. I agree and relate to
(08:16):
Dean because I'm I'm definitely gonna lose my hair. The
amount of times I wear hats because my hair just
falls on my face, it's impossible, Like now I will
be balding right Well, that's my big fear too, is
you cut your hair. There's gonna be one time where
you cut your hair and it never fully grows back.
You know what I mean? Oh thou, that's what I'm
terrified to cut my hair. I'm like, is it has
it receded in the past two years? I don't even know.
(08:37):
Am I gonna have bald spots? Why don't I just
keep it long and deceive everyone? And that's the thing
is we're getting We're getting to that stage of life
I would say in your thirties is when you really
have to start worrying about that kind of stuff. So,
I mean, if my hair starts falling out, I'll get
like hair plugs or something. Is we we have the
you know, like I talked to my friends about it
every onceince while. I not every once in a while,
but I've talked to my friends about it before. Like
they can't really grow their hair out because you know,
(08:59):
they got to go their office job, they got to
work at the five. You can't really wear a hat
in the office, right, But like you and I in Easton,
and Hannah already already has long hair, so I guess
she's exempt from this conversation. But like you can get
away with wearing a hat every single day, you know
what I mean. So it's kind of yeah, yeah, but
I don't think we need to talk about hair all day. Um,
I don't know, it's kind of fun. You missed the
(09:20):
rundown a little bit, so we don't have any guests
this week, be us talking about uh, just whatever we
want to talk about. And then we've got some emails. Um,
how is everything going at the cafe over there? Uh? Great,
it's really busy. We had our grand opening last night.
It was absolutely slammed. There was a line. There's probably
like fifty people waiting outside to get in. It was, uh,
(09:43):
and then like a hundred people inside. So and this
was consistent for like three hours, and so it was great.
It was overwhelming. I'm actually here right now. I've been
working sixteen hours a day for the past week. Uh.
You know, it's just starting a new business life in
the NFL. So if I have to, like, I hope
you guys don't mind if I have to like pop
in and out of the podcast, I promise, because it's
like I'm already getting knocks on the door. They're overwhelmed.
(10:04):
We're busy. We've gotta make sandwiches, people need drinks, and
it's just like it's great, it's overwhelming. But like I
just came back from the store. I spent like hundreds
of dollars because we're running out of everything. You know, hey,
life running a business, what is it, Cathay Like at
night it's a lounge. So we have couches and chairs
and to fireplaces going and very intimate lighting and really
(10:27):
want people to feel like they can come and get
a martini and where you know, I'm sweater weather, you
know what I mean, in front of the fireplace, have
an espressive martini, enjoy yourself, have some nice combo. You
guys do have a liquor license that huh Yeah, we
got a full air license. That was a very tedious process.
So I mean it took like probably about four months
and I'm still going through and now because as soon
(10:47):
as I got the liquor license accepted, I needed to
apply for a renewal for next year, so I had
to like go through everything all over again, which they
felt bad about, but they're like, hey, it's just the
way it goes. I'm like, oh no, Worris. So it's
been fun men, as you can hear, like my voice
is a little rast probably right now. It's just been constant.
But uh, and then of course, like still doing my life.
I have a pregnant wife. You know, there's a lot
(11:09):
going on right now, but it's all good things. A
little overwhelming, but good things. Is that what you get
for opening up a restaurant or a cafe lounge on
December one instead of January one is having to do
everything for twelve months and then renew it January one
for the whole year pretty much. But it's yeah, I
mean it's cool, man, it's fun. Like I love running
on business, I love owning one. It's chaotic and it's
(11:30):
it's crazy. There's people outside and they're running around trying
to figure things out. And so we'll see. We'll get
through it though, and it's gonna be fun. And and uh,
I'm really proud of what we have those far, and
everybody seems to be enjoying it thus far. Knock on
wood obviously, like no thing is perfect. I've had I've
had to deal with people who have like waited twenty
five minutes for sandwich, has been like I can't wait
any longer. Like I totally get it, Like I'll refund you, so,
(11:53):
you know, definitely just customer service, we get it. You're
proud of the cafe, as you should be. I got
a question for you, though, what are you more out
of cafe? What's it's? What's it called? Or help I
suck a dating obviously? Help I such a dating bro?
Come on, we've been doing this for years. Audrey has
just opened up. That's the right answer. But if you
were to go out in the Audrey's right now and
somewhere we're to ask you that same question off the air,
(12:14):
what would you answer be thousand percent? I'm so proud
of Audrey's bro worked so hard and put so much
investment in time into this place and help us like
a dating allen do once a week. I just here's
my concern, Jared. I just don't want you to get
caught up in this pipe dream of yours, you know,
Like I don't want you to forget us a little people,
because you're you're blasting off in this outer space with Audrey's.
(12:35):
You know, something tells me I'm not going to figure
about my I Heart Radio podcast that I'm very grateful
for having. So I'm saying, is man less work, less money, sure,
but less works. More specifically, just an hour a week
is all we oh, we need from you, so as
long that that's all we need? Um All right, Well,
we do have some hot talks, hot topics coming up,
(12:57):
and we do have to answer some emails. But before
we do that, let's take a quick break. All right, everybody,
welcome back to help I suck at dating um lo
and behold, we lost yet again. He's got his his
(13:18):
his pipe dream to take care of over there in
Rhode Island. So I guess we're gonna get in some
hot topics, but before we do, because it's rare that
we get Hannah and Easton as active participants in this podcast,
active hosts, if you will. And Hannah knows first hand
how much I despised the hot topics, not for any
not for anything that she's done wrong. I just don't
want to talk about machine gun Kelly and um and
(13:39):
what's d Megan Fox. You know, I don't want to
talk about toy Boy and it's eighty two year old
over which is actually pretty interesting and maybe we should
talk about that. But I just want to know what's
going on with you guys. Can you guys give us
some updates in your lives. I know Easton is a
busy guy working on seacrest. I just got shipped a
new box of carmel candy corn princess Um candy corn,
(13:59):
right that what it's called caramel corn? I think they
just sent you the regular popcorn. I don't think my
my flavors in there. But but your that's like your
caramel corner or do you just have like a special thing.
I did a flavor with Thank you Popcorn. They're they're
a popcorn company out of Massachusetts, and uh, they're they're
very good stuff. It's they did a peppermint bark for
(14:19):
the holidays. It's very good. I think they wanted you
to to try it. What about you tell us what
you've been up too lately? Please? You don't even want
to know. I have such a boring life. I just work.
I'm pretty sure you don't, because you're you're always traveling
up and down the California coast. Be you work on
a lot of amazing I heart radio podcasts, so there's
gonna be some something's going on. Well, I am going
(14:43):
to New York next week for a genle Ball, which
I'm excited about, and then I'll be home with my family.
I have. I have been going up north. I'm to
northern California lot, just just because I can work as
a remote or like spending time with my family. So
I've been for it. If you can. I mean, I
don't see why not? Um question for you guys. I know, uh,
(15:05):
this podcast isn't live. But was there a jingle Ball
in Los Angeles this December? Or is that only in
New York? Yeah, there's a tour. They go all over
the country. It's well, why the heck did why the
heck did help I suck a dating not get invited.
I even texted Amy and Danielle on the side. I said, hey, guys, um,
Kaylin is really she really wants to go to a
jingle ball? Can we make that happen? And I just
got crickets. Wow. Yeah, Well so the jingle Ball in
(15:30):
Los Angeles as we record this is tonight. Um and yeah,
I mean Dean. I'm a I'm a valued employee of
my Heart for Media. I've been with the company for
ten years. I've worked on jingle Ball and Wayneo Tank,
all these events. I sent a text sing, can I
get Can my sister get a ticket too? I've never
asked for tickets ever. I was like, can I my
sister get a ticket? She loves do jaquet again crickets,
(15:54):
So what's going on with that? It's a hard ticket
this year. There's the line up for Los Angeles is very,
very good, and I think, yeah, everybody wanted to go.
What's the lineup? Can you guys fill us in on that?
Oh my god, yes I can. Uh. This is like,
this is a good way to shamelessly plug iHeart Radio
and maybe get us some extra tickets for next year's
stingle Ball in Los Angeles. Can send videos, don't worry, thanks,
(16:18):
just post them on your stories. I'm sure I'll find
a way to get to watching them. We're gonna plug
an event that has happened already. H but if you're
an East Coast listener, you can also go see it
in New York next week. You know, even if you're
not an East Coast listener. Let's plug it right now.
The iHeart Radio jingle Ball presented by Capital One will
be streaming live on the CW dot com and the
c W app. That's this Friday, December. The lineup will
(16:40):
be different from the Los Angeles one, but he who
played in l A. We got ed Shearon bts, do Alipa,
doj Cat, Lil nas X, the Kid Learoy, So Weedie,
the Black Eyed Peas, Tate McCrae, Bozzi and TikTok Sensation,
Dixie Demeleo And that's who was in l A New York,
(17:01):
which will be broadcast live on the c W and
the c W app starting at seven pm Eastern time. Uh.
That lineup is I'm pulling it up here. Uh we
got ed Sharon du Aalipa, the Jonas Brothers, doj Cat,
Little nos X, Sweetie a j R. Kane Brown, Tate, McCrae, Bozzy,
(17:21):
and once again Dixie Demeleo. That's who's playing in New York.
I'm gonna go ahead and say it. I think the
New York line it's just a little bit better. Yes,
it's pretty big in the K pop scene. We actually
met a nice young man last night. Who was a
big BTS fan, And um, have you guys listen to
the music? I'm sure you have, right like in wanting
to work you're in. Yeah, I've listened to them alive.
(17:43):
What's your take? Could you guys love K pop or no?
I like aspects of K pop? I don't. I don't
see the um fanatic appeal of it, and I'm wondering
if I'm missing something. I think it's more geared towards uh,
young girls than a third five year old man. But um,
it's good. I mean I think Dynamites a hit song.
(18:04):
I think Butter is a hit song. Those are songs
by BTS for the uninitiated. But yeah, I'm not like
a K pop stand by any means. I don't like
anything about K pop Like wow, what why not? I
just don't. It does seem like the fan base of
(18:26):
K pop is like is like almost beatle like you
know what I mean. Like they're there. I don't want
to use the word insane, but they like go above
and beyond what normal fans do. I feel like it's remarkable,
it's it's really really I don't know, I've never seen
anything like this in in over the years of working
and pot music. I've never seen a fandom this fanatic
(18:47):
and this uh loyal as the specifically BTS, Like there's
are like like I shudder to think if BTS endorsed
a political candidate, what would happen? You know, it's they
could sway elections. I still certainly think that I don't
know why this happened. I don't know why my TikTok
algorithm thought that I wanted to see this. But there
was like this fan account for BTS that was posting
(19:09):
videos of Because I don't know the the details of
the band, I think it's like four young cream kids
right that singing dance and they were highlighting one of
them band members and they were like, just look at
this guy's moves. He's got so much swag. He's got
so much like rhythm. And I was watching the video
and I was like, damn, that guy does have a
lot of rhythm. Like I watched I watched the video
(19:29):
like nineteen times and I was like, this kid is
so smooth, So I can I like kind of see
like if I was like a fourteen year old girl
or continue old girl, I'd be like obsessed with him absolutely,
But yeah, I don't, I don't. I don't know. It's
just weird just here like people because like I guess,
BTS only plays like a couple of times a year
all around the world. And so this kid that I
(19:49):
was talking to yesterday, he was like, yeah, like people
are flying in from like London and like other places
in Europe just like watch BTS play, and like all,
I don't know. It's just absolutely mind blowing to me.
So I guess all that to say, I heart Radio
Music Festival is going to have these guys. And if
you're a big ky pop fan, you don't even have
to be there, as you were saying, you can just
stream live on the radio app. Yeah, just just watch
the jingle ball in the Oh. No, actually they're not
(20:11):
gonna be at the one you can watch live, So
I just just enjoy the thought. Um. When last thing
about BTS, I just think it's interesting. They came on
the Seacrest Show a couple of years ago, and uh,
you know, we have a lot of artists come through,
and it's usually like the artists and like someone from
the label and their manager. But BTS had all those people,
and they had like three or four security guards that
(20:32):
were like giant dudes with black suits and sunglasses, like
they looked like Korean commandos or something like they had
heat like those guys were. It was crazy. It was
like the Secret Service had come through. I've never seen
anything like that. Where was this. This is just that
they came to the studio and Bourbank to be on
with Seacrest and uh it was nuts. Like they had
(20:52):
like a full security detail. Like I was like ear
pieces and stuff and they're like, Okay, they're moving, they're moving, clear, clear,
like that kind of thing. It was so cool. So
you were breathing the same oxygen as BTS. That's amazing. Yes,
And actually, you know something I want to test on it.
I know you you pull the social clips for this show.
Here's what we should do. I should pull some kind
of clip. It doesn't even have to be this part,
(21:13):
just some clip from this show and just say like
hashtag BTS Army, we get into all things BTS. Uh,
hashtag b Yes. That's all we have to say. And
I think this episode will blow up. I'm just making
if we could reach a fraction of the BTS fan
base just to get to listen to this podcast. Hey,
I know for a fact, we'd have listeners for life.
(21:35):
B we would have probably the highest rated episode we've
ever had, because even a small sliver of a fraction
of the BTS fan base listening to this would um
put us ten times over, I think our highest listener episode.
So I agree, we're gonna hashtag BTS, hashtag BTS army,
hashtag love BTS, all the things. I agree this should
be a good little social experiment. I've never met them before,
(21:57):
but I've I have breathed the same air as as RM,
the rap Monster, he's the de facto leader. I've I've
read the same are as John Cook, I've I've read
the same are as all the guys. So can we can?
We can we appeal to our BTS fans real quick?
So what was it like being in their presence? Was
there an aura about them that they emitted? Or yes,
there was? It was incredible, it was it was tangible,
(22:17):
it was it was it was fungible. This this aura
that I that I felt. I it was like I
was in the presence of of pop superstar gods. That's
all I can see. And have you ever felt that
way in the presence of anyone else? I'm sure you
have no, no, no, no. You know, I've met a
lot of big pop stars and none of them felt
like BTS did. Because they're the best pop stars that
(22:39):
I've ever lived and we'll ever walked the earth, and
I love them. I would do anything for them. I
heard they don't even walk, They just float. Everywhere they go.
They materialize in front of you and just like because
they don't exist on the same plane as us, they
just merely take a form that we can comprehend as humans,
and then they go on to the next, the next place.
He said, I've got some questions for you, Well, just
(22:59):
more specifically one question, because I I do show your opinion,
especially when it comes to these types of things K
pop in in general, I just fairly value your opinion.
On Um, We're gonna go a little off K pop.
There's this singer in Japan I believe, who is not
even a real person. Do you know who I'm talking about? Yes,
Hot Sunni Miiku. I know all about her. Can you
can you just kill us like the debrief on that
(23:19):
because I got a general understanding of who she is,
but she is she's like the most popular singer in Japan, right, Yeah,
she she's up there hot. Sunni Miiku is not a
real person. She is an animated avatar and um, but
she is treated like she's a real person. She's technically
a hologram, I believe, and if if people out there
want an entertaining experience. He got to look up when
(23:40):
she was on the David Letterman Show because oh my god,
he does not know how to react to this. And
it is so funny. She's a she's an animated character,
and she's a pop star and she sings, and she's
played shows that like Arenas and stuff where it's just
a screen of this, like you know, she looks like
Sailor Moon or so she's just an anime character, but
people go nuts for her, and um it's you know,
(24:01):
my my brother in law is part of a project
for another character named MICHAELA. And uh, Michaela I think
is going to be a very big star. I can
show you guys a photo. But um, it's it's a
whole new generation of digital. Uh digital like celebrities, I
guess is the only way I can I can describe it. Um.
(24:23):
For the for the listeners at home, they're not gonna
be able to see this but I'm gonna show you
guys Michaela really quick. Here's what she looks like. Oh,
she is like a Sailor Moon. Yeah, that's a real person.
This is not a real person. They use a motion
capture uh to animate this person and she has real
relationships and like it's it's really it's really strange. And
(24:45):
then um, here's a hot Suni miik you um and
hot Miko's music is good. Uh, but she's not a
she's not a real person. It's it's really an interesting
you know. I don't know. I don't know why. I
was expecting it to be a hologram of like a
a looking person. But you're right, it does look like
a Sailor Moon character. More Michaela looks looks more like
like it's more noncanny value, Like she looks more like
(25:07):
a human. But Hotsunimiku is like a hundred percent like
a a cartoon. But it's a trip. It's it's it's
really wild. Um. I just feel like it would be
weird too. I know the gorillas kind of did this,
but like it just feels weird to like spend money
and go down to the stables center and then like
watch a screen of a cartoon. But I mean people
do it. But I guess, I guess if you think
about it, like all concerts are, in a weird way,
(25:29):
are very similar to that, right, Like you can pay
a bunch of money to get packed into it in
a big audience to like watch this little person on
stage perform for you because you're you're always gonna be
so far away, Like you're not gonna be so close
to be able to touch hatsunimiku, Like not that you'd
be able to touch he even if you were right
at the same counter anyways. But um, I think, yeah,
it's just in general, like you go to uh an
event to sing the songs that you know with a
(25:51):
bunch of people that already know the songs as well.
It's just so interesting to me. Um, I don't know it.
Uh with the world that we're living in, you know,
crypt occurrency's taken off, so why can't digital performers take
off as well? I don't know. It's crazy. Uh. Well,
besides that, I hope you guys have a good time
at jingle Ball in Los Angeles. I'm a little jealous
(26:13):
you guys are gonna be there. But I will say though,
The only reason I wanted to go was to make
my girlfriend happy. Because a lot of the singers you
guys mentioned, I only recognize like two or three of them, Um,
and the rest I like, you know, it's just not
It's just not my cup of tea. So I hope
you guys have fun. Is Kalen a big pop fan?
She is? She just like wants to see like Taylor
Swift and uh Dixie Dale Dixie Dyelmo, she's going, she's going, no, no, not.
(26:38):
I don't know who she wants to see. I think
she just likes like she she's more of the top
forty stuff than I am. Um, I am a little bummed.
I had tickets to a concert last week, but I
wasn't feeling well, so I didn't go to it. Uh,
do you guys know who John Craigy is. I don't
know John craig I know Johnny Craig. I don't know
John Craigy. John Craigy is a real human being, believe
it or not. It plays an instrument on stage. To
(27:00):
believe it or not? God, yeah, right, and today's stand
who to thunk? Uh, It's like he plays like really
intimate settings so it was like a hunter person venue
where you like sit at the table and listen to
this guy perform um. And I had been obsessed with
this music for like three years and then we finally
got tickets and right when we got tickets for a show,
he um, well not he, but like I got sick
(27:21):
and like we couldn't go. So I was devastated. And
so now we need to figure out how we're gonna
do that. So all that to say, I hope you
guys have fun. Um, thank you guys for for humoring
me and letting us avoid the hot topic conversation, because
this is way better than talking about uh Megan Fox
and Machine Gun Kelly stabbing himself to impressed her. I guess, um,
(27:42):
would you ever stab yourself, Hannah or Easton to impress
your significant other? Absolutely not. What's the craziest thing you
would do? What's the line that you would go up to.
That's a good question. I think if you're significant other
would be impressed by causing bodily harm, that's just you
shouldn't be with that person. They've got some more issues
(28:04):
they need to work through. Yeah, I find myself thinking
that a lot. Uh not, not that I should stab
myself to impress Klin by any means. But I find
myself thinking, Um, if you need to do this like
insane thing to impress this person, then that's just not
your person, because like it's just you're you're right, Like,
(28:24):
are you gonna keep stabbing yourself to keep impressing her?
Probably not if you need to change, like in any
major way. That's like not healthy for you to impress someone.
Like obviously you just shouldn't be doing it. And I
think a lot of people do that, and I don't
think it's the most healthy thing in the world. But
so we've established no one would stab themselves for their significanty.
That's good, really quick, just at the at the risk
of being called fake news, let's just clarify really quick.
(28:46):
He did not. It wasn't like Machinern. Kelly was with
Megan Fox and she's like, I want you to stab yourself,
and he said, I'll do a baby. He was throwing
a knife in the air trying to do a trick
and like landed on his hand wrong and stabbed his
like went through his hand. Oh I oh, I see.
So he was doing a knife trick to impress her
and then he accidentally stabbed himself, which again not something
I have done, and that's not a good idea. Um.
(29:08):
I used to do that thing where you put your
hand on the table and then you take like a
in this case of very sharp pencil and you go
between your fingers really fast. That ended poorly for me.
I was trying to impress some other boys. But yeah,
what's the name of that? Because I've played it before
as well, I don't know if that has a name.
I mean, I don't know. I know it does, it does?
I'm looking it up right now. It's called Oh darn it,
(29:30):
I'm not gonna be able to remember what it's called.
Oh five finger file at that's what it is. Baas.
The only reason I know that is because in Red
Dead Redemption you can play five finger flay and that's
the only time I've ever played. It's on a video game.
So uh, anyways, I'm a little bit embarrassed about that.
All right, Well, that's gonna do it for this segment.
Help my second dating. I want you guys to stick
through the break because we're about to get to the
(29:50):
best segment emails, So stay tuned. We'll be right back
a right, everybody, welcome back to help I suck at
dating time for my favorite segment. As always, we have
our emails and we have the Incredible East and treat
(30:13):
them for us. So let's get into him. We got
a couple of for you guys. Actually today, I don't
know if we're gonna get all four um, but we'll
do our best to get too as many as we can. Uh.
The Incredible East and thank you. I like that introduction. Uh.
This first one is from Mia uh. Mia writes, two
years ago, I met this guy and it was love
at first sight. The only issue was he was a
cop and the first time I saw him he was
(30:34):
trying to arrest me and my friend at a college party.
I know, not very romantic. After meeting him, I tried
to forget about him because obviously nothing was going to happen.
At least that's what I thought until I ran into
him at a cafe earlier this year. He recognized me,
and to my surprise, it wasn't painfully awkward. We talked
for a while and there was this insane connection. We
stayed in contact, and even though we never defined the relationship,
(30:57):
we started hooking up. At this time we got really
close us really quickly, and things just felt right with him.
That'll ended six months later when I found out he
was married. Yep, married. I broke things off with him.
But his wife doesn't know about me or a relationship.
Should I tell her? Is it not my place to
say anything? UM? I just want to point out I
appreciate whoever wrote this Mia if if you're a real
(31:19):
person or if you're a Japanese digitalized artist, I really
appreciate you taking the time to send us something. UM.
I want to say, Oh, this is actually kind of
a tricky one because you're right. Do you take the
moral high ground and say something to the wife? Do
you say something of the husband? I'm kind of torn,
Like it's first and foremost, you didn't do anything wrong
(31:40):
because you didn't know, so you should never harbor any
guilt for what you did. Um, but do you get
involved in this person's marriage? I like, my gut says yes,
but also do you want my But do you also
want to bring that upon yourself because you're then gonna
be putting yourself in the middle of it. And thinks
you get a little spy to see so I don't know.
(32:02):
I like I want to hear what you guys think. First.
You know, we get these questions all the time you
find out you're the other person, and they ask should
I content? I always say no, I don't think that,
especially when this was like you had nothing, you didn't anything,
you didn't do anything wrong. This wasn't your fault. This
is his fault. But I think if you tell the wife,
(32:23):
I don't think she'd believe you. Um. I think she
would see you as some a woman trying to ruin
their marriage. I don't think it would end very well
for you, and I don't think it would give anyone
any satisfaction. I think you just stay out of it
and uh never speak to this person again and hopefully
try not to get arrested by him in the future
because things won't go as well. Let me ask you
this though. Let's say you're married to someone, and I mean,
(32:45):
I'm not even gonna say your current marriage because I
don't want that to even be put out in the universe.
Hypothetically you're married to someone they cheat on you, would
you not want the person that they cheat on you
with to come and tell you, or would you rather
just be oblivious to the idea? For forever. I mean
I would like to know. I would like to know
from my partner, ideally, because when it's the other person,
(33:06):
there's another like oh my god, you know, like did
this really happen? And I don't know it's it's a
it makes it messire. Um. So yeah, I guess i'd
want to know. I guess that makes me a hypocrite,
but I stand by that advice. I say, don't contact
the life. I don't think that's a good what's your
tax Since you're you're the you've got a better female
(33:28):
perspective than we do. Of course I would. I would
want to know if I if I'm putting myself in
the the wife's shoes, I would want to know. Um.
I do get that it's a sticky situation. But even if,
like my current boyfriend was cheating on me and he
wasn't telling me, I would appreciate it if someone came
to me and let me know, because I wouldn't want
(33:49):
to be in a relationship where somebody's cheating on me, right,
I agree, that would be horrible. I think what you
should do, Mia is instead of approaching the wife, approached
the cop and say something and like you know, like
like say, how dare you? How despicable are you? Blah
blah blah um, and don't like threaten anything, but like
at least make it known that you know that he
(34:09):
uh was cheating on his wife. I think that uh
is the first step because I don't think there's any
like moral obligation that this person has, but it does
feel like something that could weigh on someone's conscious, you know, like,
but you're right, she like has no obligation. It's I
don't know, it's tricky. It's definitely tricky. Obviously stopped looking
up at the cop. It sounds like you already have UM.
I would just go talk to the cop and be
like this is unacceptable, etcetera, etcetera, and then see where
(34:32):
it goes from there. Maybe the maybe the couple develops
some sort of conscious doubtful but uh, and then maybe
he'll go to his wife and tell her what's going on.
But I don't know. That's what I think. And also
when I first start reading the email, I was like,
oh man, this guy is like hitting on someone that
he like arrested. That's like not chilled too. That's what
a boundary to cross. And then I saw the other.
This guy has no boundaries at all. So it sounds
(34:53):
like it sounds like the intro to like some Brawsers episode,
you know, like uh for the undered formed. Sounds like
a like a like a porn porn movie introduction, you know,
like cop arrests kid. Kid is interested in the cop
copsies kid again. They go back to cops house to
hook up. Like it just seems it seems a little
two story buck bad story book, the wrong storybook there.
(35:15):
You don't have the story book you want to be in.
But let me put this out there the listeners. If
this email became penthouse for him or something like that,
I would not have a problem with that. I'll be
honest with you, guys. I was googling parts of those
sentences because I was like, this can't be real. But
I didn't find anything, so it could be very real. Wow.
Uh anyway, let's see if I let's see if Kerry
has something. Just a spicy um carry says. I have
(35:37):
been with my boyfriend for three years now. For about
two of those years, we've been talking about moving across
the country to be closer to my family and a
less expensive cost of living. We live in California. I
hear that we're in a great relationship and I love
him very much, but I'm not happy in the city
we live in. A Few months ago, my boyfriend got
a new job that he absolutely loves here in this city.
It's the best job he's ever had, he loves his
(35:58):
co workers. He's already up for promotion. However, I remain
secretly miserable. I don't want to tear him away from
a job that makes him happy that I'm at a
point in my life where I'm ready to buy a
house and settle into an area that will make me happy,
and I simply can't see it being here. Help. Do
I choose love or location? M hmm. I think I'll
(36:18):
probably get some pushback on this, but I think you
choose location because you're never gonna be happy with the
person you love in a place you don't like. Well,
I take that back. You're probably going to always have
this like a little bit of remorse inside of you,
eating way chipping away on a regular basis, being somewhere
you don't want to be, even though you're with the
person you want to be with. So I think location
(36:39):
is just as important as the person that you're with,
you could do what Kaylin and I did. We could
you could get a place there and here and then
bounce back and forth between the two of them if
you want to do that. I don't know if if
your situation allows for that, but I think location, like,
for instance, even like, okay, let's pull back to The
Bachelor real quick. We saw Joe and Kendall. That seems
like they broke up because Joe wanted to be in
the Midwest and kind of wanted to be on the
(37:00):
West Coast, and uh, you know, they loved each other
and obviously they had to break up, and I like
feel like that's a very reasonable thing to do. So
I think location, uh is a very important thing. And
I think that if you really are miserable in the
place that you're at, even though you're with the person
you love, that it's time to make a change. For once.
I agree with you. Yeah, yeah, is that the first time? No,
(37:21):
not the first time. It's It's rare though, But I
am curious how old these people are because I'm thinking
about if I were in this situation. I've been with
my boyfriend for over four years, and I would not
move somewhere just because he wants to move there. Like
we're doing long distance and he's asked me many times
if I would move up to San Francisco so we
(37:44):
could be closer. But I want to be in l
A right now, and if I don't prioritize myself, then
I'm not going to be happy in this relationship right
And also, what's stopping him from moving back down to
Los Angeles? Like exactly, it's and he has a job
in San Francisco that he loves and that's great, and
I want him to be happy and I want myself
to be happy. So we're both happy and we can
make it work, then that's fine. Granted we still are
(38:06):
in the same state. It would probably be different if
we lived on opposite sides of the country, but you
never know. I just think it goes both ways, Like
for instance, in this email with Kerry, like you want
to live or you want to live and he wants
to live where he has a great job, but like
why can't he find a new job in the place
that you want to live? And like I just think that,
(38:27):
like if you're the one sacrificing everything to be in
the relationship and you're living where he wants to live,
and like, what else are you going to bend on?
And how much less of your identity are you gonna
have later on? So I think it's very important to
like put your foot down and make these decisions. Yes,
I agree, I agree, I agreed to Wow, I really
thought I was gonna get a lot more pushback on that. Um,
do you want to just do one more Eastern We
can do Hunters email and then we can get out
(38:48):
of here and you guys can go to jingle Ball.
Sounds good to me. I still gotta do my hair
and makeup and everything. Uh. This this is from Hunter
as said. I met my girlfriend in college and we've
been in a committed relationship for the past five years.
But about a month ago I found out she cheated
on me. She was out partying with some friends and
ended up hooking up with this guy. She was upfront
and honest with me and told me what happened right away.
(39:10):
She said it was a mistake and that she still
loves me and wants to try to make this work.
It was a hard conversation, and I was obviously really
angry and hurt. In the moment, we decided to take
a break, but after thinking about things, I think or
I know, I wanted to try and work through this
and stay together. Most of my friends think I'm an
idiot for even considering taking her back, but I literally
can't imagine my life without her. Do you think you
can ever move past cheating and relationships? Have you ever?
(39:33):
Would you ever stay with someone that cheated on you? O?
What's funny? We talked about what are we kind of
talking about this earlier? A little bit? Oh with the
husband with the cop in that that's right? Um? I
would say, yeah, I would say that this is fine.
She was upfront and honest with me and told me
what happened right away. I think that's ah, that's the
(39:54):
operative sentence there, you know, like as long as she's
being forthright and honest with you. People make mistakes, especially
when they're parties, especially when they're young, especially when they're drinking.
So I think, uh, as bad as it is, just
like I think, as long as you can find it
in your heart to forgive her and like not hold
it against her or hold it over her head ever, UM,
I think that definitely could be something that's worked past.
(40:16):
It's not a deal, but I think it happens more
frequently than you think. Yeah, yeah, you know, Uh, I
think it can definitely be moved past. And something I
think a lot about is that the problem with um
cheating is not so much the like physical connection, like
(40:36):
like that intimate physical moment with another person. I think
it's more the lying and the betrayal that comes with that.
Uh So, the fact that you know she was upfront
about it right away. You didn't give her like she
didn't have an opportunity to lie because she just got
it out in the open. I think that's a positive
way to look at it. And I think that it's
(40:58):
worth giving it another try. And uh, you know, there
has to be some concessions. Now I don't know the
details in which this cheating happened, but maybe they you know,
maybe you don't hang out with that friend again or
something like that, but you know, your relationship is not
gonna be the same. But I definitely think it's you know,
you can move on from this. That's my personal opinion. Yeah, Hannah,
(41:19):
what do you think? This one is hard? Because I
think that it is possible that people can move past
cheating and relationships, but it depends on the type of person.
That you are. I fear forgiving and understanding impatient. Sure,
I don't think I could ever, especially if I was
with someone for five years and then they decided to
(41:40):
cheat on me. But I know people like some of
my friends have been in relationships and similar situations have
happened and they've worked through it and now they seem
happy and they're still going strong. So I do think
it's a possibility. Definitely. I will say that I do
see your point. So when I was in high school,
I was cheating it on pretty frequently by my high
(42:01):
school girlfriend. And I remember after the first time I
was cheated on, I was like, uh, the like the
feelings and the emotions that I felt inside of me.
I was like, I knew for a fact I would
never be able to fully get over it. So like, imagine,
you know, we stay together and four years later, they're
still gonna be like this weird, festering emotion that I
have because I know for a fact, like there's like
the trust, the trust has been breached, and I'll never
(42:22):
fully be able to regain all that trust. So I
think as long as you're the kind of person that's
going to be able to fully put it behind them.
But you never want to be in a relationship where
um where you're you're you're angry at the person NonStop,
you know, or you resent them for any stretch, for
for any reason because they cheated on you. So I
think if you can put that all that behind you
and move on and actually get over it, then you
(42:43):
can definitely stay in a relationship with her. But if
you can't and you're going to continue to like dwell
on it and be piste off about it, then maybe
it's best to not be in the relationship. I'm getting
I'm getting two nods from you guys, so I'm gonna
go ahead and say that was the right answer. Thank
you very much Hunter for emailing us. Uh, keep emailing us.
I suck a dating at i heeart media dot com.
(43:03):
We have one more email, but we're not going to
get to it this week. We're gonna save it for
next week. So I'm sorry, ardent, but thank you for
emailing us again. Email us at I suck at dating
at i heeart media dot com. I want to go
ahead and just take a second. I want to take
a second, and I just wanted to thank Jared for
for being here on this podcast with us. I want,
(43:25):
I just want, I want everyone to know that Jared's
presence today was just it was very appreciated. Jared walked
away in a busy restaurant, left his zoom on, so
you're I'm sorry, brother, I'm so sorry. I've literally we're
signing off right now, are we? We are. If it
wasn't for Jared, this episode would have it would have
(43:47):
sank like a rock. But with him here, we were
able to keep our head above water. So I just
want to say I appreciate you, buddy. Hey, anytime, you know,
I'm just really here to help the podcast or whatever.
I can make sure that you guys are making money,
staying organized on time. Uh yeah, just the little things really.
Uh well, if anybody in Rhode Island please come to Audrey's,
(44:08):
I appreciate it. You'll see me in the back making
sandwiches or making drinks behind the bar. It will be
fun times. I really appreciate. I love you all. Thank
you so much for picking up the slack today. I
really appreciate it. We got slammed right there and I'm
pretty sure everybody was about to kill me, but was
really fun. Hey, help, I suck at Dating, Baby Stuck Army,
(44:29):
I'm here for you. I I need to be here more.
This is ridiculous. I like how this podcast is just
turned into one long plug for Aubrey's Lounge on Rhode
Island before Rhode Island. I like Dean doesn't even know
the name of Audrey's Audrey. I've gotta I've gotta knock
you off your pedestal a little bit um Eastern Hannah,
thank you guys so much for being such an important
part of this episode. Do you want to do you
(44:50):
want to sign us off? Hey? Just make sure you
guys tune in next week, where hopefully Audrey sucks a
little less. Aubrey's follow hell by Suck at Dating on
I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast mm
hm
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