Life on Other Planets with Kendall Long

Fan favorite Kendall Long is back with Dean and Jared! She gets real about her experience on Paradise and we hear an update on her dating life!

And, find out which member of Bachelor Nation Dean is attempting to set up with Kendall! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hell I Suck at Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven
and I heard radio podcast What's going on Everyone? And
Welcome to an all new episode of Help Suck At Dating.
It's mid January. We've made it through the New Year's
Eve and Christmas slumps. I guess I feel like people

(00:21):
kind of slump around those times. Um, We've got a
great episode in store for you guys. Today. We have
everyone's favorite contested from our season and a couple of
seasons of Paradise. A little controversial this last season in Paradise.
If I do say so, Uh, Kendall Long will be
joining us and uh co hosting the episode with us.
Before we bring Kendall Lynn, I do want to say something.

(00:43):
Not to start off on a sad note, but we
record this podcast on Friday, so I won't come until Sunday.
But yesterday we found out, Oh hello, Kendall, you're here. Hey,
how are you? Ken? I'm wonderful, now how are you? I?
I was just telling Dan, I don't want to start
off the podcast on a sad note, but I do
want to address this, and I do want to say something. Uh,
fellow bachelorette contestant that was on my season. Clint Arless

(01:05):
passed away yesterday at the age of four. Um, and
I got to know Clint a little bit on the show.
He was only there for not only there, but he
was there for a couple of weeks. UM. I don't know,
Dean if you remember watching that season or Kendall, but
he had the uh the bromance with j j um oh,
the bromance guy. Yes, and yeah, I was really it's

(01:29):
just very stunning news, shocking news. Sad thirty four gone
way too long, way too soon. Excuse me, Um, do
we know what happened to him? We do not, And UM,
you know, I'm just sending my condolences out to his family,
UM and everybody that uh, you know he was a

(01:49):
part of with their lives and he just you know,
it was funny because we had um a text threat going.
I'm Dean and Candle. I'm sure you guys have the
same thing of like all your contestants from the show.
And it was, you know, at first, everybody was kind
of texting back and forth and then it started petering
out and the two guys that kept the text chain

(02:10):
going where JJ and Clint, and they would legitimately just
text back and forth in this group chat. So I
would always look down and there'd be sixty new text
messages on my phone and it would only be JJ
and Clint going back and forth. Um. So I just
wanted to say that, Uh, you know, Clint was a
good guy. The last time I saw him was JJ's wedding. Uh,

(02:33):
and uh he was happy and um he looked good.
So again, just sending my condolences to the family. He's
a bachelorette legend. I uh, you know, I wasn't really
a fan. I thought I wasn't a fan. I just
didn't watch the show much going into when we filmed
our season, and um, the one person, not one, but
I guess the two people that the producers kept referring

(02:54):
to time and time and time over and over and
over again was Clinton JJ. They would always talk about
how they had like the best bromance and they would
take showers together, but like in a total best friend
kind of way, and they would always like joke about it.
They always be like, you know, you're here to find love,
You're not here to take showers with guys. No, seriously,
like that used to happen one season these two guys
like fell in love with each other, so they would

(03:14):
bring it up like every chance they got. So definitely
sad news. I'm sorry that, you know, for everyone involved,
that is never never anything good. But hopefully hopefully more
news comes out about it, we figure out what happened, right, Like,
I don't know, but I just I want you know,
he was a funny guy, made me laugh a lot.
So again, gondolences the family. So I didn't want to
start off on a sad note, but I did want
to address that. Um. Yeah, no, I think that's good.

(03:36):
I appreciate you bringing it up. I I because I
honestly never would have known enough about it to bring
it up. So it's I'm you know, I'm glad that
you did, and I you know, he's a buddy of yours,
so I'm sorry to hear that, and like you said, condolences,
but yeah, we can't. We can't be somber all episode.
So Kendall, welcome to the podcast. Are you had to
jump in at an opportune time? No, that's definitely fine.
I'm glad we talked about it. Yeah, well how are you?

(03:59):
How are you? Candle philis in? What's going on? Over there.
I'm good. H I'm not to add more bad news,
but my my dog just had I v d D
and had to have um spine surgery some kind of
healing him. He's on the mend um he will um
so his disc at his back herding aidd so it
was bleeding around his spine and so he was unable

(04:22):
to use his back legs. Um. So he was just
paralyzed from the waist down. So he just had to
go in for emergency surgery. So not to add more
sad things, but I've kind of been dealing with that
for the past. Yeah, that's a lot. I've been following
along on your Instagram stories and so that happened today.
Like what is the current status he's in surgery. No,

(04:43):
so he was in surgery probably about five days ago
and now he is, uh he's at home finally and recovering.
So um, he's definitely have much use of his back legs,
but we're kind of like rebuilding rehabilitating him, waiting from
the heal enough so we can start, you know, doing
therapy and stuff like that. But yeah, he's just frustrated

(05:04):
because he likes running around and doing things and following
people around and getting in everyone's business and he can't
do that, so he's just very frustrated. But do do
dogs have waste? Kendall? I mean, yeah, they have a
good waste, whether you know. Yeah, definitely has a waste. Okay,
I agree, you're right, probably just right above their hips.
That makes sense. Um, I did see I did see

(05:25):
your posts as well. It's very sad. That's pretty Is
that pretty common in doxins, the like those spinal court issues. Yeah,
it's very very common. And I'm his fourth home, so
I don't really know what his past was or his history,
so a lot of things could have started it. It
was very sudden, um and just one morning he woke
up and it was he was just paralyzed. So um
so yeah, but luckily my sister moved in, so she's

(05:46):
helping out out a lot with that. So how is
he able to get around? Does he have like a
wheelchair or is he just kinda right now? It's so
soon after surgery, so he gets his staples out in
about like ten days, but we just carry him around everywhere.
Here's a lot of diapers and changing of things. Um,
and I'm actually getting him a stroller, so that's coming

(06:09):
in the mail and a wheelchair, so he's going to
be mobile soon. Yeah. How old is this dash man?
He's three? So yeah, so very young, but usually in
dashounds it starts around the age of three and two
three onward. So how has he been rehomed? How has
he been in four homes? And he's only three years old?
I got him and he was one. I feel like

(06:30):
you've had him for a long time. Yeah, I have, well,
and they don't only have a lot of records on
his history, but he was at the kill shelter and
then he was at another shelter. Oh yeah, so he
was his original home, then he went to a kill shelter,
that another shelter, and then I took got him from
that shelter. So that's crazy. I know, I know doctins
are kind of a handful, but that's three homes in

(06:51):
one year. I mean, kidness, he came along. Yeah, No,
he's he's great. He's he's my best friend. So you know,
he's gonna be fine, hopefully, but he has an eight
percent chance of walking again before surgery. It was so yeah. Yeah,
it's definitely not easy to watch your best friend and
your favorite little animal go through those things. So yeah,
it's like you're definitely sending you are best as well.

(07:12):
I know it definitely as like a kid. It's crazy
because we talked about this too when when we had
to put Pappy down. It's you don't realize how attached
you are to your pets until something like this happens
to them where you have to put them down or
they become Oh, I'm fully aware of how attached that
in too. Lois currently I'm drinking coffee out of a
mug that says Lois Is dad. Oh it's so great. Yeah,
that is very great. But I guess it does put

(07:34):
things into perspective, Like Kendall, I'm sure once Pistachio is
running around again, you're really going to appreciate his ability
to like be mobile a lot more than you would
have before. It's just, um, yeah, it's just it's it's
it's definitely tough. So we're sending you our best. We're
sending Pistachio all the positive vibes we possibly can. I
will hope that he will heal so oh yeah, he's
gonna be no time. Yeah, so we do. Obviously we're

(07:55):
dating podcast Candle and you've been on this podcast numerous times.
We I always mentioned that the first time I ever
record did a podcast on here was with you and
a while ago. Dude, every time I say this, Dean,
you always say, oh, I didn't know that. That's like
the third time I've mentioned it, and that's the third
time You're like, I didn't. Thanks. Thanks for sharing that

(08:18):
fun fact that I never knew. I appreciate that. So, Kendall,
the last time we saw you was obviously on Bachelor
in Paradise, so you left single. What's been going on
in your life after that? Um? I'm dating around and
doing stuff. Um it's the dating scene like in l
A right now. UM, it depends. I would say that

(08:38):
you get him a mixture of different kinds of people. UM,
but I usually prefer to meet someone through a friend
or someone that I trust. Um. Dating apps are kind
of they're little intimidating. UM, but yeah, I don't know.
It's it's been interesting. I've gone some fun adventures. So
there's so you said the dating apps are intimidating for you.

(09:01):
Can you imagine what the guys think? Because I was
when you said it was intimidating for you all. I
could think about was like, if a guy was scrolling through,
and I can say this because I'm married and Ashley
agrees with me. We think you are one of the
most beautiful contestants to ever be on the show, and
you're intelligent and savvy and have so much going for you.
If I was a guy going through and I saw

(09:22):
you and then it was like, oh that girl was
on Bachelor, they would be super intimidated. So how is
it intimidating towards you? Like, what do you find intimidating
about dating apps? Because I feel like some of the
time everyone always does. You know, they're searching and everything,
and if you look look at my name, you see
my face sobbing and you are making out with somebody.
Um So, it just it's weird to have someone know

(09:44):
you so personally before you have a chance to really
get to know them first. Um So, yeah, you just
never really know people's intentions. And I don't only translate
that well over text. I don't think I'm not really
that funny over I don't know. I'm like more like
an in person or phone call kind a person. I
can see. I can envision a scenario where you're texting

(10:06):
someone and you're thinking, oh, I'm going to give them
the funniest line, and you send it and it just
comes off completely wrong. Yeah, I'm not that. I'm not
that funny. That's why I failed on Twitter, and no
one thinks I'm funny on Twitter, so I just don't
think that isn't the worst too, when you're like in
a group chat or something and you say something and
you're like, this is gonna everyone's gonna laugh their ass
off at this, and then you send it and like

(10:27):
no one even validates it with a response. You're like, oh,
come on, yeah, I give but perfectly. Yeah. I'm the
same way too. It's like I don't know, maybe like
too sarcastic or to dry humor. So it doesn't like
even my friends they're always like they'll bring up my
texting and they'll be like, yeah, you like you're like
really bad at texting. I'm like, what do you mean?
I text you back pretty regularly, like or pretty quickly,
and they're like no, just like you're like really short

(10:49):
and you're always like cold and texts. I'm like, I'm
intending to be that way. I feel like I just
embellishments and need embellishments. Yeah, there's not enough fluff. I
guess maybe my lack of capital letters. U um. It
is funny to Jared's point though, I remember back when
I was, you know, in my single days, back in
my studying days. So I was on the dating apps
and uh I saw Becka Tilly and Kaylea Quinn on

(11:10):
the dating app on like Bumble or something like that,
and I was like, Wow, these girls are so pretty.
They had like professional photos, they had a little blue checkmark,
and I was like, there's no way in hell these
girls are ever going to be interested in talking to
someone like me. So, Kendall, if someone were to come
across like, let's say you're dating profile or like meets
you at a bar, what would be that kind of
like their way of getting your attention? Um? Well, I

(11:34):
would say recently, people have drawn my attention if face
can say something that I didn't know about or teach
me something new like um um, or if I bring
up something and they have something to add to the conversation.
Like I was recently talking about like a moon on
Jupiter that could potentially harbor life and there was like
a study about it, and then this one guy was like, Oh,
you mean like this moon and he had like the

(11:54):
name of it, and I was like, that's really dang impressive.
Um So I don't That's usually something that catches I
when someone can kind of yeah something cool like that.
I mean, it would be pretty cool if you're had
life on it. But it just frozen water all across
the entire surface of it, isn't it. But it's possible.
If it's frozen water, then that could potentially harbor life.

(12:15):
Maybe not. I don't know anyway, but yeah, it's interesting.
See there are cool people out there, see I I
kind of envisioned you with somebody opposite of that kindle
if I'm being honest, because I think that you're so
knowledgeable that you even on your Instagram, the way you
tell people facts about different aspects of life. I think

(12:37):
if you were with someone that that was very receptive
to that but was unaware of some of that, I
think that could work. I've been with a lot of listeners.
I don't like when people are like that. I don't know.
I like when someone can say something else besides like
awesome and cool, you know, because I be in conversation
with people or I don't know anything that they're talking about,
and they're probably thinking, I'm not in putting anything good conversation.

(12:58):
I mean I have interests in very niche subjects. I
like a good debate or like a good bante. Well.
I remember one of the first times I ever talking
to you. We were talking about like something in great
not digging up graves. But it's just like the conversation
went off the rails. Do you remember this at all?
Because you gave me a ride. This is when I

(13:19):
was living with Nick and after we record of the podcast,
and you gave me a drive back to my apartment,
which is very nice of you because it was out
of your way. But I didn't have a car in
l A at the time, and I all the way
to downtown. Unbelievable, right, what a sweetheart? So far out
of the way is crazy? I like car and it's
a good conversation, Like long car rides are fun. Like
stuck in the conversation there's no way out, and what

(13:41):
the hell I don't know we got on the conversation.
I think of like, what is it? What is it called?
What is the event called? When you go to watch
the movie at the graveyard? Oh, the cinema, the something
something like that. Yeah. So anyway, the point is we
got on that conversation and we started talking about you
had like all these interesting facts about death graves and cemeteries.

(14:08):
And I cannot remember what the conversation was now, but
it was pretty enlightening and fascinating. Oh interesting. I'm trying
to think. I go through like a random It depends
on I'm reading at the time, so it's probably reading
something that had to do with that, and but um, yeah,
so if I do remember that, it was a really
interesting conversation. Yeah. Isn't that funny how you're because I haven't.

(14:28):
I do it all the time too. You like read
a book and uh, it like touches a couple of subjects,
and then all of a sudden you think you're like
an expert on that subject and you try to bring
it up in the conversation as often as you can.
I do that all the time. Oh, It's how It's
how I can have conversation with people. It's like, I'm like, still,
there's this book I was reading. I read Bigcoin Billionaires,
and I was like, oh, I know everything there is

(14:48):
to know about bitcoin. Alright, guys, that's good. That's also
very I don't know anything about that, so that's where
I lack intelligence. So it's good to have conversations with
people that can like teach something new and give us
a give us a rundown on the bitcoin dude stuff.
It's just the story about how the Winkel Fox twins
became billionaires in bitcoin. It wasn't really, I mean, an

(15:09):
interesting fact was the first First of all, I'm this
is kind of a widely known fact, but no one
knows who actually created bitcoin. It's still unknown. It was
a Toshi Yacumata or whatever the heck his name is. Yeah,
there's a lot of um speculation about who it is,
and a lot of people think it was Elon Musk,
which I don't think it was, but no way, no way.

(15:29):
But the first transaction ever, uh with bitcoin. I'm sure
you guys know this as well was pizza. Somebody bought
a pizza with it. And because it was an online forum,
bitcoin was obviously still not mainstream, and it was it
was a forum for just bitcoin. And then somebody was like, hey,
I will give anybody on this forum a hundred bitcoin

(15:52):
if they bring me a large cheese pizza right now.
So somebody said, okay, I'll do it. So he went
got the pizza, delivered it. They transferred a hundred the
hundred bitcoin and that was the first transaction ever and
that hundred bitcoin is like now worth like two point
five billion dollars or pizza pizza. Yeah right, you want

(16:14):
to you want to know who I always have envisioned
to you dating. Not to get off the subject a bitcoin.
I want you. I want you and my best friend
Alex to be boyfriend and girlfriend. He's he's so intelligent,
he'll he'll you could bring up a fact and hell,
this is actually one of the reasons that we always

(16:35):
fight is because he speaks a matter of factory all
the time that even when he doesn't know what he's
talking about, he he sounds like he does, and so
like you have no choice but to believe him because
you don't know what he's talking about. Um, it's funny
because Caitlin says, I do that all the time as well.
But you guys, I could. I would just love to
be on a fly on the wall in one of
your conversations because I feel like you guys would bounce
off each other really well. Granted, he lives in Gross Point,

(16:55):
Michigan and you're in Los Angeles. Um, and you're two
weights too good for him anyways. But I just think
that you guys would be a good little pair. No,
I do think. I think. I think he's really fascinating. Um.
I've had conversations without conversations with Alex before, and UM, yeah,
the distance thing would be very difficult. That's partly I
have a lot of triggering things because of that. I've
had multiple relationships that have ended because of distance. So yeah,

(17:19):
most most famously the one with Joe. I would suppose, right,
who's that? But um, but yeah, for me, again, like
I'm a very in person kind of person, and the
lesson with someone in person, it's really hard for me
to grow something. Well, Because I remember you talking about
a prior on this podcast about how long distance would

(17:39):
be extremely difficult for you because you don't want to
move from southern California because your twin sister is there,
and I remember you describing it as your twin sister
is your soul mate, so to speak, and you need
someone who can understand that and enter your life. H
knowing that, would that be an accurate description, I would

(18:00):
say it's not that I would never move ever. Um,
it's more so that if there can be some form
of relationship that is developed here or in some way
could be developed, and then if there was a proper
conversation that it made sense to move somewhere else, or
if I can get a job somewhere else, Like I
like being independent. I don't like depending on everyone's friend

(18:21):
group and job and everything. Like I like to have
my own thing going on or else. You know, I
don't know, I get really frustrated and boards. So yeah, yeah,
I just don't want to live off of somebody. I'd
rather live live like equally with somebody right alongside someone.
I think that's definitely very important too, And that's something
I always I haven't mentioned in in previous conversations too,

(18:43):
is I definitely agree. It's like you should be independent
of each other and then you come together and it's great.
It shouldn't be like one person lying on the other
person for anything or anything otherwise. But all right, well, Kendall,
we're gonna take one quick break. We've got some great
dating topics we would like to discuss a little deeper
with you, So for the listeners, stay tuned through the break,
We'll be right back, all right, welcome back to help.

(19:12):
I suck at dating Dean myself, Kendall, we do have
a couple dating topics we do want to get to,
including one about Kanye West being accused of recreating an
iconic photo of him and himself with Kim Kardashian, but
he did it with his new girlfriend. Now. I don't know,
sounds gonna wacky, but I did have some questions, Kendall,
about you in this past season of Bachelor in Paradise

(19:34):
because watching it was I think difficult for a lot
of audience members because they've fallen in love with you
and Joe and seeing two people just not work out.
Because most of the time when relationship ends, it ends
because it's it's bad, right, Like something happens, somebody cheated,
one person falls out of love, and you know, we

(19:54):
don't know the specifics of what happened with you and Joe,
but it really felt like it was just two people
that like cared about at each other and it just
didn't work out. And so when you went back on Paradise,
what was your mindset? Did you go back thinking, Hey,
I'm gonna go and try to date other people, or
I'm going to go and try to see if I
can work things out with Joe. Um. No, I definitely

(20:16):
went on thinking I would date other people. Um. You
don't go on a reality TV show to date someone
that you have like two years of history with, you know,
because there's just so much that you can't bring up
on TV and you don't want to talk about publicly
because you respect the person too much to like bring
in your dirty laundry. Um. And when I went on,
I had people that I was interested in, and so, UM,

(20:36):
I think I just didn't expect how much of a
time machine going back would be. And uh, it was
very difficult. Yeah. And then when you go in late
you feel weird. You're like why am I here? You know,
people already know each other, there's already like bonds developing,
everyone's in a relationship. I'm not the kind of person
that's gonna be like, hey, like, can I steal your
I don't steal people's guys. Like either there's interest, so

(20:58):
there's not you know. So it was really awkward and weird.
So and I wanted to ask because I feel like
there's a lot of people out there that go through
similar situations. Obviously they know date a beach right in
front of their ax. Having said that, there are a
lot of people that go and start seeing other people
who might not be ready or are still emotionally torn.

(21:21):
And I feel like a lot of people ask us
on the podcast, Hey, when am I going to be
ready to start dating again? And can you give advice
to anybody out there who might be going through a
situation like that where they're wanting to meet other people
but there's still something drawn back, you know, them back
to their ex. What would you tell them, Um, it's
hard to leave what's comfortable and what's familiar. I think

(21:44):
there's safety in that, um. And so for me, when
I was in a position that felt so unsafe and awkward,
I was feeling like I wanted to go back to
something that felt safe and felt sure. Um, but when
you can't do that, uh, I don't know. Like now,
in the real world, I feel like whenever I see

(22:04):
safety in somebody, that's when it's like a good sign that, um,
I can move forward with them, you know, I don't.
I don't know if there's a specific like thing that
happens just all of a sudden it becomes easier, and
it's easier because, um, because conversations get easier, or you
find interest in somebody, like you develop a friendship first
with somebody. If that makes sense, I'm not sure. If

(22:25):
it's no, Yeah, that totally makes sense. I guess my
question was, um, you know, it's never like there's no
right answer. That's the issue when people ask like, hey,
should I you know, should I take time for myself
and not go on dates or should I just go
on a bunch of dates and kind of like try
to move on or should I focus on myself? And

(22:46):
it's really difficult to answer the question. I feel like
DNA and I continue to go through this process of
like trying to give it the best advices we possibly can.
And that's why I wanted to ask about your advice
because we saw it kind of play out with you
on National TV whereas you were told and it was like, yeah,
there's I'm ready to date other people, but I'm still
kind of feeling things for my ex and it's really
weird and and you're not. I feel like so many

(23:07):
people go through that and I wish I could give
better advice on it. That's all you think you're over
your X until you see them in a public place
and you're like, oh that I thought I was completely over,
you know, Like I think you can all relate, even
like if you're you know, maybe you're at the mall
one day or you're out somewhere and then you see
your ex walking and you're like, it's just like all

(23:28):
of a sudden thing like flashes through. Um. Yeah, it's
very Uh, it's just very surprising. I don't think we
can really, I don't know. It was for me. I
didn't expect it. I didn't expect it to be. Well,
there's a formula to it. You know what they say
for every year you dated, you have to take one
month to not date, So if you did it for
two years, you have to take two months off. But

(23:49):
I mean that's obviously just whatever that means, that's meaningless. Um,
did you watch did you watch? That's what this is,
like the rule of thumb? That makes it no sense
that I heard one time that I think maybe you
might be valuable for some people to know. Did you
did you watch Paradise Back? Um? I saw bits and
pieces of it, but I didn't watch the full thing. Um. Yeah, yeah,

(24:09):
I'm not a masochist sometimes for some things, I guess, yeah,
but not for that that's that's reasonable. Um yeah, I
would say I had a similar experience, but not even
close to years, but like a little baby baby version
of just when I went back to the beach and
Christina was there. Obviously Christina I didn't date for two

(24:30):
years like you and Joe did and all that kind
of stuff. But I agree with what you're saying, like
it's very uh, it's not like traumatic, but it kind
of like helps like puts things into perspective for better
or for worse, you know. So Um, like I said,
my situation can't even hold a candle tears, so mine
was affecting me a little bit less. But I can
definitely see where you're coming from with all that stuff.

(24:50):
And it's it's hard to like, like you said, you
could be walking down the mall, through the mall and
you see your X and all of a sudden you're
like reminded, like flushed with all these memories, or you
like mel his cologne that I guess you maybe like
walk through by like the Nordstrom rack or something like whoa.
But and it's so hard because you know, full transparency
that's happened to me while I've been with Ashley, and

(25:11):
it doesn't change my feelings for ash but it's always
it makes me feel guilty even though you can't help it,
you know, like you see a picture of an ex
or you hear news about it, like you just get
like whacked in the face with all these memories and
emotions and then people, you know, it's just like it's
it's it's like wait a minute, no, no no, I shouldn't
be feeling this, and it's like no, no no, no, It's
just it's a thing, you know, like everybody goes through

(25:33):
it anyway. So that's my point to maybe, I guess,
just make my self not feel as guilty. I think
it's almost it's very difficult to never to not love
somebody after you allowed them in and you've loved them. Um,
so I think it's okay to love multiple people in
that way. But um it's weird when you knew someone
so well they become a complete stranger and then you're

(25:54):
reminded of like, oh, yeah, that was my best friend.
Like that's weird, you know. It's like, but I can't
talk to them ever again. It's the worst too, when
you hear about, like because you get close to people's
families and friends and so you hear about things that
are happening to them, or god forbid, they lose a
family member, and it's like, I just want to reach

(26:15):
out and just be like, hey, I hope everything is okay.
But then it's that you know, you're like, wait, am
I just being selfish to fulfill my own needs by
reaching out and not actually to make sure they're okay,
but just you know, because I feel guilt. I don't
really know. It's just a weird mind bleep. You make
a good point to Kendall. It's interesting. Um, It's something

(26:35):
experience when I was younger, but not so much my
adult life, where when you go through a breakup, you
are essentially like losing your best friend because like, let's
face it, you spend all your time, most of your
free time at least with this person. Um, And when
you have like a best friend, like a platonic best friend,
whoever it is, you don't just go through it. There's
not just like one moment where you're like, okay, you're
no longer best friends, as you would in a relationship
where there's like a defining moment that then breaks you

(26:57):
guys up to no longer boyfriend girlfriend, which also means
you lost your best friend as well as your partner.
So it is like it's like a flux of emotions
because not only are you losing your romantic partner, but
you're also losing your best friend. I remember I was
having a conversation with my friend UM a long long
time ago, after having just gone through a breakup, and
I was like crying every day because of it, and
he's like, dude, just get over it, like she was

(27:18):
just your girlfriend, and I was like, she was more
than that. She was my best friend. You don't understand, uh,
And yeah, I so I fully agree with where you're
coming from. It's like you're losing a lot more than
just a partner. You're losing your best friend. You're losing
your roommate in a lot of cases too. Um. But
I don't know, I don't even know where I'm going
with this. It just it definitely, it definitely sucks, and
then it sucks even more, and it's compounded even more

(27:39):
when you have to see them uh day on television
and subsequently get engaged. I think that I think that
we shared this already. I can't remember if I have
with you here or not. But it was funny because
that last day of Paradise, Kalen and I were walking
out to the beach and we see this, We see
this little blond girl pook her head out of her
hotel room as we're walking the elevator. And was like,

(28:00):
I didn't I didn't piece it together what was going on.
And Kiln was like, you know, that was Kendall right
there in the room, right And I was like, oh
my gosh, no way, we're in for a real treat
out there in the beach today. Yeah. I didn't well,
I didn't really know what day it was, all the
things that were happening that day. Um, And so it
was funny when I saw you guys, I was like,
I thought you guys were going to get engaged or
something like. That's what I thought I saw. Yeah, I mean,

(28:23):
I'm sure, of course, why not, That's what I thought.
So I was laughing because I was just like, um,
I was like, oh, I know why they're here. I mean,
I guess I didn't like even like associate it with
you know, why you were really there? So yeah, well yeah,
but hey, whatever, it is what it is. Dared else
you want to talk about besides morning the past? I
mean I love morning past. Put on a little acoustic music.

(28:46):
I would be good to good times. Put the shades down.
I'll just cry myself to sleep. We do have some
topics though, that I do want to get to. We
have two hot topics before we get into emails. First,
I gotta ask you guys a question. Would you drink

(29:08):
your significant others blood? No? Why? Why is this happening?
I need the intention of drinking this blood? All right? Well,
the headline, so I'm sure. I don't know if you
guys are heard, but Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly,
celebrity couple are now engaged, and apparently they sealed the
union of engagement by drinking each other's blood. It's weird. Yeah,

(29:32):
I wouldn't do Yeah, it seems more so. That's that's
more so like a for a headline, as opposed to
I mean, maybe they genuinely believe it, or they have
some sort of religious practice where that's you embody them. Yeah,
cannibals that eat other people thinking that they'll always be
a part of them because they've internalized them. Yeah, I
don't know. So I heard about this too, and I'm

(29:53):
trying to figure out exactly why they drank each other's blood.
This is not the first, but like apparently they were
in a music video last year called Bloody Valentine. I
think it's a machine Gun Kelly song and they call
each other their twin flames and they said they had
an instant connection and I can't find it now I'm losing.

(30:18):
But anyway, they drank each other's blood to seal that
they are like twin flames, and they it's kind of
you know what it feels like, you know. I don't
know Dean's you ever become blood brothers with someone? But
I never did that either, and I was ting. I
almost did it one time. I remember, we couldn't. It
was like I was probably six or seven. Maybe it

(30:39):
was my buddy Jimmy, and we grew up together, and
we thought it was going to be like the coolest
thing together. You were still girl, you haven't even grown
up yet. All right. A lot happened in my first
seven years. A lot. Okay, I was like thirty at
that point in my soul. But we tried. I don't
know if I don't remember if we got a knife
or something, but I remember it was just like way
too painful and we ended up not doing But the

(31:00):
idea that we were going to do that in the
first place is disgusting to me now, the fact that
we're going to cut each other's hands and then put
our hands together. Who our dude. I would never drink Ashley's,
but I didn't know if I can be in the
delivery room, let alone. Like the idea of sipping on it,
Like how much blood was it was like a cup
of blood. Was it like a little cut where they

(31:20):
like licked each other's cut or something. I bet you
that's what it was. And they like suck there like
they pricked their finger and then sucked it off the
finger or something like that. That's my guest, Like that
would be funny. I don't know. I can see that
being like funny thing like where you just do it
because it's like a weird thing you do together. But um,
to make it very serious like this is like that's
like the next level, very satanic, and a lot of

(31:42):
it would embody your soul. So in the Instagram caption
that she posted when she announced Megan Fox that they
were engaged talking about the work and the sacrifices of
the relationship. Blah bah blahah blah, and she said somewhere
a year and a half later, having walked through hell
together and having laughed more than I ever imagined possible,

(32:02):
he asked me to marry him, And just as in
every lifetime before this one, and as in every lifetime
that will follow it, I said yes. And then we
drank each other's blood. That could be like a metaphor, yeah,
you know, it could be a metaphor of like we
drank in each other and I don't know, like the

(32:24):
ether would drink in the aura of each other's blood, right, Like,
I don't know if it's maybe they did literally do it.
But I love that twin flames though, because my brother
and his wife call each other twin flames all the time,
and now all I can imagine is my brother and
his wife drinking each other's blood. Well, it's a twin flame.
Is like when you wasn't there like a myth where
you originally started out as two people combined or one person,

(32:47):
and then you like somehow you're like split in half.
You to keep finding the other. Zeus was fearful of
the power of the superhuman, so he split them in
half with his lightning bolt. Yeah, that's so interesting. Yeah,
that was my favorite. That was my Platos and Posium
short story. It's very good. So twin Flame is your
own soul shared across what appears to be two physical beings.

(33:08):
It's the soul split into two bodies, right, Yeah, so
the story, the story goes according to my philosophy on
on one class in college, is uh in Greek mythology
that humans used to have four legs, four arms, two heads,
and Zeus was fearful of the humans overpowering the Greek gods,
and so he split them in half. Of the lightning bolt,

(33:29):
and the rest of the person's life from then on
is finding the person that Zeus split you apart from,
and that's like your soul mate or your twin flame.
I guess. I never I never thought it was. I
never knew it was a twin flame aspect. But yeah,
my brother and his wife called each other toWin flame
all the time. Very cute, very adorable and machinegun Kelly
say it, um, it's just a little creepy. I don't

(33:51):
know what it is. Adorable, romantic, I don't know. That's
a good question. You could be your twin Yeah, yeah,
that's a fair point. Well, here are the six signs
of whether you found your twin flame or not. So
when you meet this person, if you have a sense
that you're meeting yourself, that's a sign that this is
your twin flame. Possible. Also, you could have multiple similarities

(34:14):
sometimes uncanny. These seem very vague. You have a deep connection,
a desire to grow, prioritizzation of growth over being in
a relationship, so you'd rather grow together than being a relationship.
So maybe it isn't romantic. Maybe you're right, Kendle, And
then the meeting signifies a major change in your life.
Those are super vague. I don't know if I like that. Yeah, yes,

(34:36):
pertained to a couple different people in my life. Those
are like horoscopes where they're like, yeah, like maybe this
will happen, or maybe you feel this way about something,
And then they're so broad that they apply to basically
anyone that's reading it and they're like, oh my gosh,
that's me ya, Like Jared, Jared, you might be my
twin twin flame, Kendall, Hey, by all means you could
be my twin flame. Two because all want to be

(34:57):
each other's twin flame. That'd be great. The only way
we have made it through his podcast for three years
is because we're twin flames. Alright, last headline before we
do emails. This is UH an article about Kanye West
is accused of recreating an iconic photo of himself and
Kim Kardashian with his new girlfriend Julia Fox. So apparently

(35:20):
he recreated a photo that him and Kim took a
very long time ago. If you guys don't know, Kim
and Kanye broke up or got divorced? Were they married?
They were married, right, Yeah, so they got divorced, and
Kanye has been very open about wanting to get back
with Kim, and Kim is way too busy with her
brand new boyfriend Pete Davidson. First of all, how do

(35:40):
we feel about Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian. It's a
unexpected coupling. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know too much. Yeah,
I think it's just because it's so wacky. I love
Pete Davidson I always have, and the fact that he's
getting Kim Kardashian is like the coolest thing. I'm also
someone was to be dating someone else, like some other girl,

(36:01):
and then came with getting jealous and territorial or something
wasn't she I have no idea, but I don't know
how Pete Davidson like gets every girl in the world,
but he's doing something right. Um. I also love Ben
Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, Like I just love the idea
of like a of a of a guy like Ben Afflecks,
like that rough roality Boston guy who's like dating the
queen of queens and it's kind of similar. While I

(36:22):
love Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian because Pete is this
like skinny, like you know, I mean, not traditionally good looking,
but like very charming, which makes him good looking type guy.
And then now he's dating like, you know, the Queen,
the Queen, you know, Kim Kardashian queen anyway, the queen Queen.

(36:43):
I don't know. I said queen about seven times in
the past four minutes. Way too bad, all right. So
apparently a TikTok user that goes by the name in
sid we Trust alerted all of her or his followers
of the potential diss and a video clip over the Weekend,
uh so apparently in a post, they shared a picture
from the musician's recent Interview magazine photo shoot alongside his

(37:06):
new girlfriend, Julius So Kanye and Julia and in the image,
the two are cuddling on a couch of a restaurant.
While Kanye hid his face in a black hood, Julia,
his new girlfriend, rested her head on his shoulder. I'm
just really paying the picture for you guys here in
in the intimate photo, which was taken to announce their
relationship as official um now, the TikTok this in side

(37:30):
we trust switched the shot to an old photo of
Kanye and Kim as they snuggled on the couch during
their marriage. Both had their eyes closed as they cuddled
in the throwback photo, and the user popped in with
a sad face to share the despair of the similarities.
Other fans raced to the comments to share their own
theories regarding the fact that Kim. Excuse me, Kanye recreated

(37:54):
this photo of Julia of an old photo with Kim,
and all these people are saying he did to hurt her.
He's trying so hard, but what pisces me off. He's
not allowed to cuddle on a couch with his new girlfriend.
What does that even mean? Not anymore anymore to do
with Kim Kardashian here and allowed to do it ever
again with anyone else. That's a weird thing. I find that,

(38:15):
Like I find that if you are in the public
life eye in some sense, every single thing could be
picked apart, you know, and it's so it's so weird,
Like his intention was probably just like this is a
cool couch photo, and um, then everyone calls him desperate
or calls him all these things. Like I don't know,
I can empathize with that. I think we've all had
things just kind of like really dissected and ripped apart. Um,

(38:38):
So I don't know. I think that sucks that he
has to can't I agree? I think it sucks. And
granted I haven't been a fan of Kanye since like,
but it is still very unfair too for like news
outlets quote one quote to be making these leaps. It's like,
what is he supposed to do? Not take a photo
ever again with the person that he's dating. Come on,
come on, that's ridiculous. And as a as a guy, well,

(39:02):
I'm not saying like I'm so only speaking personally here,
I only got so many tricks in my bag, you
know what I mean. For example, there definitely been times
where I've given gifts to significant others, maybe even my
current significant other, that have been similar to gifts that
I've given to past significant others. But it's only because

(39:24):
like whether it be notes or letters or things like that,
Like I'm only there's only so much creativity in this
little Rhode Island brain of mine, and so like I
could easily be accused of recreating or doing something similar
to the past, and it's like, well, duh, you know
what am I supposed to do? Nobody am I getting

(39:45):
way too? If you give flowers to somebody, maybe the
flowers are different, but it's still like a similar gesture.
I mean, I don't know. There's certain ways of people
that you show that you care about somebody, but it's
different because it's a different person. Yea, yeah exactly. Once
a on a time, one of my friends was dating
a public figure and he uh, she was posting like

(40:05):
a lot of the stuff that he was doing for her,
and he kept telling me, He's like, I tell her
not to post anything I do because like, let's be honest.
I do this with everyone I date. And if she
keeps posting about it, like everyone's gonna know my secrets,
it's pretty I mean it's true. Like you, you know,
you find stuff that works for you and you stick
with it. I don't think there's anything wrong with that
per se um. It's just it's like when it comes

(40:28):
to this extent, like this whole Kanye West thing, it's ridiculous.
Oh sorry, Kanye West isn't allowed to take a picture
on a couch with his eyes closed anymore because he
once did it with Kim Kardashian. No, no, Sid, what
is it called? And Sid? We trust? I'm sorry, we
don't trust it. But let's take a couple of seats.
Why don't you sit? Al Right, guys, we're gonna take
one quick break here. Um, we're gonna come back to emails,
So stay tuned. We'll be right back. Hey, guys and

(40:59):
Ashley from the Almost Famous podcast. It's that time of
year where drama fills the air. The Bachelor is back
with an all new season premiering January three. There's a
new host, Jesse Palmer, and a brand new Bachelor, Clayton.
Clayton is a Midwest boy that has that great smile,
nice teeth, and he's really tall. Ash Let's call it

(41:21):
what it is. He's a beefcake. Okay. Well, Clayton seems
to be a good guy though, and he can't wait
to find love, get married, and have kids, and he
believes more than anything that his future wife is on
this show. It sounds like a fairy tale but also
a bit of an emotional world coaster because Clayton tells

(41:42):
three different women he's falling in love with him. Technically,
he told one, I couldn't be more sure that I'm
falling in love with you, and another one, I'm falling
in love with you, and the third one, I am
in love with you. You don't miss a thing. It's
from you. Is of over analyzing everything that guys say,

(42:02):
but his heart is in the right place. The other
parts of him as we find out what he admits
to two different women that he was intimate with both
of them. Yeah, I don't think it's gonna go over well,
we'll be breaking down at all. On the almost famous
podcast Ben is Married Now, Well, Ashley is a mob.
We'll change our opinions of what we think is acceptable

(42:25):
single behavior. Good question. Listen to Almost Famous on the
I Heart Radio app, on Apple podcasts or wherever you
get your podcasts. Okay, everyone, welcome back to help I
suck at dating. It's time for my favorite segment, emails. Um,

(42:48):
do we have Easton? Is very Easton present that's listening
to this podcast? That wouldn't mind reading one or two
of these for us? I mean, Eastern might be president,
but he's definitely not listening. I'm I'm president and I'm listening,
and I definitely have the mails pulled up. I definitely
have them ready because I was expecting to do this,
because it's an honor and a privilege to do this
every week, and I have the email right here. Let's
do it. You know, the first time you said definitely,

(43:09):
I believed you. The second definitely through me for a
loop and make me think otherwise. But you know what
I was thinking too. Maybe every week we should have
I don't know if this is even plausible, and it's
probably gonna make Estan's job a lot more difficult, but
let's try it. Anyway. Maybe we could have a listener
call in and read an email. We uh, We did
the listener call ins for a while at the very
beginning of this podcast. And I'm sure Easton can attest

(43:31):
it's it's maybe not the best format, it's a it's
a really fun format. It's a really fun format, and uh,
and it might be coming back, Dean, going to be
a lot of a lot of fun. I don't know
if I'm allowed to say that or not. It was
a lot of like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe
I'm on the phone with you, Like I can't believe
we're here right now. And it's like, Okay, well, what's

(43:54):
your question, And they're like, I don't even have a question.
I just can't believe I'm on the phone on this
podcast right now. So that's that's what I remember being, No,
I can't believe I'm on the phone with you, and
I have the Yeah, the disparity between how I was
and how I am now is quite great, so both
of us. My friend, yeah, right right. Well, let's say

(44:14):
this first one is from anonymous. I've been in a
relationship with my boyfriend for two years. He moved in
with me six months ago after his lease was up,
and we decided that since he was always sleeping over anyways,
would be best if you just moved in and didn't
find another place. We never necessarily had the conversation about
what this step meant in our relationship. To me, it
was always a temporary thing until my own lease was up. Now,

(44:35):
six months later, as my own lease is coming to
an end, he has begun asking questions like should we renew?
Should we move someplace else? Long story short, How do
I break it to him that I'm not ready to
move in with him permanently. I mean, I love him,
We've been together for two years, but I just feel
like that's a huge commitment and I don't know if
I'm ready for it. I don't know if it's because
I'm only twenty three and he's thirty, and I'm still
unsure of what the future can hold. I want my space,

(44:57):
I want him to stay over. Some days, I know
if I tell him if I want to continue living alone,
he'll think it's because I don't see a future with
him in the long run, or he'll start overthinking if
I hated living together for the last six months. Help.
How do I go about about this in the best
way possible. It sounds like you guys already lived together,
so I don't know why you said more permanently because
she was going to be temporarily. Yeah, she's already for

(45:21):
like indefinitely. It was pretty I was pretty against her
up until she said something along the lines of I
still want my own space. I want to be able
to like pick and choose when we hang out. And
then I was like, you know what, that makes a
little bit of sense. I think all you gotta do
is just tell him that you know. But I don't know.
It's funny because Nick always talks about when couples moving together,

(45:43):
not always, but you talked about it a few times,
and he says, if you're ever moving in with someone
for like financial reasons, then you're not ready to move
in with them. So like, let's be honest, if you
guys financially need to live together, and like that's the
one reason you guys are gonna move in together, maybe
not a good idea, but um, I mean I I
am always an advocate for having on personal space. So
I said, just have a conversation with him about it.

(46:04):
I've done that. I've moved in with someone, um, when
I was twenty because of financial reasons. And once you
take a step forward, it's really hard to take a
step back without people taking it personally. You know, it's uh,
it always signifies like, oh, we're going forward to our
relationships going forward. So if you go back, does that
mean our relationships going back? I think it just depends
if you if you like who you are in that

(46:24):
dynamic of your life while you're living with that person,
because it completely changes your relationship you know. Um, and
if you don't feel like you're ready to uh, I
feel like you have to tell them what you're doing
all the time because you kind of do. It's like
if you go out with friends, like are you coming back?
Where you're coming back? Like, I'm I going to be
here Amy, not who's making dinner blah blah. So you
are just like so on each other's lives. If you're

(46:47):
not ready for that, then that's completely fair. But uh yeah,
do you think do you think if you live with
a significant other? Um? You because this is the first
time I've ever heard this and I'm just trying to
absorb it a little bit more, do you think you're
kind of are required more to tell them like your
constant whereabouts? Um? If it's more so in terms of
like respecting their time or respecting the space, and like

(47:09):
it's it's like you you kind of have to play,
like when we go to bed together, like if you
don't come home later at night, is because you got
hit by a car, or it's kind of just like
checking in to make sure you know. For the record,
I agree with you. I just I have never heard
of rebalize before, so I'm just trying to process it. Yeah,
it's kind of just because if you live in the
same space, there's more questions asked you, what do you

(47:31):
do today, you were gone for this amount of time,
or you didn't come home last night with you know
what happened then? Like and when you and when you
live separately, there's kind of more of like an unspoken
understanding of like, Okay, we don't have to keep each
other updated on every movie make it's just not in
front of your face, you know, right right? Good point? Yeah, Jared,
what do you think Ashley tracks Me's just she knows
every step I take everywhere, And initially I was against it,

(47:52):
but now I like it because now I know where
she is, so anytimes she doesn't pick up the phone,
I can look and say, okay, she's here. Actually funny enough,
we always so she always wants to call and say
good night, like good night love. You make sure it's
good to go. One time, I passed out early on
the couch. I don't remember. I didn't call her. She

(48:15):
was in Virginia. I was home by myself. She so
she tried calling me for like three hours straight, hysterically crying.
Was convinced that I choked on a grape and died
on the couch by my called. So I'm so, I
don't know how I didn't wake up to any of
her phone calls. But then I looked over. This was
like three o'clock in the morning. It was my buddy

(48:36):
Kenny calling me, and I was like, what the hell?
So I picked up my phone. I was like hello,
and he goes what's up? And I was like, I
thought he was drunk or something. I'm like, bro, what's
going on? And he was like, what's going on with me?
What's going on with you? Your wife's hysterically crying calling us.
I'm on my way to your apartment now to make
sure you're alive. And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ,

(48:59):
so I'm it. So as I said that, I was
like oh, and then I just hung out the phone
and immediately called Ashley back because I knew exactly what
was going on. She picks up, She's like, what the
if you were doing? I thought you choked. I thought
you died. I was like, you didn't see that I
was home. She's like, yeah, I did see you at home,
and I thought you died by yourself in the house
and I was going to be a widow and have

(49:20):
to raise this kid on my own. And I was like, wow,
that was a traumatic night for a couple of hours.
I'm sorry about that, but good night. I'll talk to
But see, you've kind of said the precedent then where
it's like, if you, like in this case, where you
miss one phone call, then all of a sudden it
becomes this big ordeal. Yeah, snowball effected the slippery slope.
But for the record, I also have my location on

(49:40):
for like everyone. I want everyone to know where I
am at all times. I've got no secrets to hide,
and I like, let's say I get kidnapped or something.
I want all my friends to be able to like
track my location and figure out where I am. You know. Um.
But to answer the question for anonymous, I think I'm
gonna go on a little bit of a allege here,
to which I apologize anonymous. But when you're on a
ledge my favorite kind of version of you, I think, anonymous.

(50:03):
If you ask your boyfriend to move out, where you
guys go separate, it's over. You invited your twenty three,
so you're young, You have plenty time. You guys bigget
it for two years, which is great, But you invited
a third year old man to live with you. He
is very much ready to live, settle down, and move

(50:24):
forward and and be done with the dating scene my guests,
which is why he's like, should we renew? Should we
look at a new place? Like he in his mind,
you two are living together and you're moving forward in
this direction. So I think if you're like, hey, listen,
I thought it was temporarily gonna be a living together situation,
I think he's gonna take that personally, and then I
think he's gonna question your motives, and then he's gonna think, well,

(50:47):
I'm dating someone who's twenty three. Is she not ready
to be in a committed relationship. I think it's just
gonna have a lot of questions in his head that
I don't think will be conducive for a healthy relationship.
So I don't know. I'm nervous if you're nervous. For
if he thought it was temporary, he would have found
a new place to live instead of moving them with her.
So I do. I do agree, I think and exactly

(51:09):
what Kendall said, you can take a step forward, but
you can't take a step backwards. I disagree with you, Jared.
I think that if they continue living together, the relationship
is doomed because she obviously does not want to live
with somebody, not with him. She doesn't want to live
with anybody right now, and that's fine. And if she
continues to live with him, even if she like tells

(51:29):
herself like oh this, this is okay, this is for
the this is the right step to take, she's going
to resent him for it, and there's gonna be like
he's it's gonna start with little moments like it's gonna
be like he left his socks out of the Hamburg
and she's like, oh my god, I got this thirty
year old loser living in my house. Like it's gonna
it's just gonna build, and then it's gonna come to
a breaking point and Uh, then he's gonna want to

(51:51):
get married and she's not gonna want to do you know, Like,
I just think that she needs to be honest about
how she feels with this man. The time for the record,
you leave yours out, She goes, I can't believe I'm
living with this thirty year old man. Child who hasn't
heard that? At least she throws in child in there.
That's nice. I mean, deep down, I feel like, if

(52:12):
you want to end it and you don't want to
take it, you're not excited to keep moving and take
a step forward, You're kind of that's for me usually
it's the answer. Like my parents always told me. They've
been together for two years now, and um, they just
they said when they met each other, they were excited
to take a step forward. They're excited to do that,
you know, they don't even think about it. Um. Not

(52:33):
to say that every relationship should be that way, but um,
I think she's not in a place where she's excited
to move forward with him, right. But I agree, I
think you should take a principal stand and just say sorry,
we're not living together. I don't want to do it.
I'm not interested in it. I still want to date.
Let's try it out. She doesn't want to, but I,
like Kendbell said, sometimes the answer is in the question,

(52:56):
and like, what do you have to lose? Obviously you don't.
You're you like the guy enough to be dating it,
but you don't love him to the point where you
want to live with him. So propose the idea and
if he doesn't like it, then bought a being bought
a boom. You're back to be in your free self
and you can find someone else that you're more excited
to live with. So that's that's the advice. One more reason,
What do you got for us? This is a juicy one,
all right? This is from Emily. I found out that

(53:16):
my fiance was searching for escorts on Google. We're in
a long distance relationship, and I don't know what to
do or how to bring this up. Escorts escorts, I mean,
that's it, right, You can't look for escorts and move
on from this. No, maybe he's doing research or something
for like a thesis. It's long distance. It's so easy

(53:40):
to just like disappear and to just not ever. There's
just like where the heck of that person? I don't know.
It's like at that point, I would kind of wait,
I'm the kind of person where I would probably just
disappear because it's a big disrespect and for me, I
would kind of see that as like cheating. Um, it's
definitely cheating. Am I missing are bringing with escort means no,

(54:01):
it is cheating, like and he he he should know
and if he wants to call and bring it up,
he can, But I don't know. I disappear, disappear. I
would just disappear in the I think what this person
should do is just simply bring it up. I mean,
granted he's probably she's probably gonna be with a lot
of resistance because something brings something up like that, there's
someone that's uncomfortable talking about it for obvious reasons. I

(54:22):
think you're going to naturally just like backpedal and defend yourself. Um,
but yeah, I mean it sounds like the relationship is
kind of on its way out because that's it's not
a deal breaker for for everyone obviously, but um, it
sounds like it might be for you. So I would say,
bring it up and see what happens next. Well, I
think you have to bring it up because there's obviously
something wrong in the relationship right now and listen, Like

(54:44):
you guys are doing long distance. You know, every human
has their needs. If he was looking up porn, it's like, hey, whatever,
But escorts, like, I don't know, that's a whole new level.
What's the difference. Let's get to the bottom that is
there is there a substantial difference between porn and high
wearing an escort? I mean, you're having sex with an escort?
Am I misinterpreting this? Do I not know what an

(55:05):
escort is? Um? Well, I mean so I think it's
usually an escort is like a date for company, but
usually there is some sexual involvement. Oh so I was
misinterpreting because I just assumed it was primary, Like I mean,
I would say that it kind of is mainly that
to some people. Um m hmm. Interesting changes the dynamic

(55:30):
a little bit. I guess, maybe not right. I think
porn the only reason why I don't think porn is
an issue. Um but if it starts affecting your sexual
relationship with your partner, and it starts taking away from
your connection with your partner, then that's when it's an issue.
They're both forms of entertainment, but is one going to
like obviously when when it's actually another person you're risking

(55:52):
like your safety with like your health, you know, getting
something like these are strangers that this person is looking at. Um,
but Corn, it's kind of I don't know, you're less
connected to that for sure. I do think though to
your point, Um, while an escort isn't it's not implied
sexual work. I do think it's the precursor to some
sort of sexual experience with someone. So um too, I

(56:14):
think Jared, it's safe for you to assume what you're
assuming because I do think it kind of leads into
what it is you're assuming. So yeah, I think I
think the bottom line is have the conversation with him
bringing up uh, don't like corner him, because I do
think how you bring it up is really important, you know,
like don't just like throw it all at him at
the same time and accuse him of all these things.
Maybe like asking questions lead him to answer, like give
him the opportunity to like answer it without you pressuring

(56:36):
him or like cornering him all that kind of stuff.
So um, that's my advice at least. But yeah, it
sounds like it's not going to be too good for
you guys moving forward, that's just what would be so
bad approaching the scenario. I'd be like, hey, you can
escorts home? What a what a job? What do you
think about that? Yeah? You just bring it up nonchalantly,
like not involving them whatever that you put on pretty

(56:57):
woman just to be like you guys, you ever see
this movie before or it's a great premise, huh, but
once you look trust I wonder how she found out,
because like, was she on his computer searching for s
cargo and then auto field But to be the devil's
advocate here, she said she caught that he was looking
for them. For all we know, he's never booked one.

(57:18):
I know this is a day Like I think she
should have a conversation because like that's definitely like you know,
I mean, you know, I just searching for them and
with no intention of ever doing it. But but some
people might maybe that's just like something he gets off on,
like oh, like I could do this, but I won't listen.
You don't call Audrey's asking for a b LT unless

(57:38):
you want to be I mean no to Easton's point,
I remember once when I was in high school, one
of the kids that was on our football team came
back with these like, uh, these these stripper cards from
Las Vegas. We called. We called every number on the
stripper cards. None of us had ever the intent to
follow through with anything. We were just calling for fun.
It could be curiosity. I can see that. His friends like, oh,

(58:00):
did you know that you can find you know these
people this way? And maybe he's like, oh, I maybe,
And then they looked together like I can see that.
So it's a very bad it's a very bad sign.
So like that conversation needs to be had, too true.
But also we don't know the age of Emily, because
what if this kid is like eighteen. It was like
just messing around. That's a good Curiosity is a hell

(58:24):
of a thing. But I think bottom line, have the
conversation and get the bottom of it. That's really what
you need to do. But yeah, maybe he's just looking
for a great escargo recipe or something like that. Maybe
he's not a stale and he wants to learn how
to correct gets the best of us. All Right, Well
that's gonna do it for this week's episode of Help
I Suck at Dating? Thank you everyone for listening. Kendall,
thank you for jumping in and co hosting with us

(58:44):
this week. You are and always will be one of
our favorite, if not our favorite co hosts, So big
thank you to you. Can you just give us like
a like like where where where is kinda going to
be going for the next you know, year, a couple
of years? Where what can we look to expect from you?
I'm really focus sing on like this science like informative,
being someone who takes larger scientific concepts and making them

(59:05):
more digestible to people. Like I'm working with a company
called Colossal right now. It's a genetics company that's rebirthing
the wooly mammoth and doing a bunch of other GenEx
product projects. So I'm kind of and I do like
TikTok science stuff, So that's kind of where I'm going.
It's they're rebirthing the wooly mammoth. Yeah, it's actually an
Asian elephant wooly mammoth hybrid. I could get all into

(59:27):
all that, but yeah, it's very fascinating, very cool. Just
make sure they don't try to rebirth any dinosaurs because
I've seen Jurassic Park and it's impossible. It's kind of
impossible to rebirth the dinosaur that we know now because
all of the remains are fossilized, so it's like rock.
There's no DNA in it. It's even hard to like
rebirth the wooly mammoth because we have like mummified mammoths,

(59:48):
but their DNA is kind of like confetti that's been
ripped up and then trampled on in the rain, and
you just try to put it back together. There's mummified
wooly mammoths m in permafrost in the Arctic tundra. It's
in permafrost. Jared, come on, read a book. Yeah, it's
like a big freezer that's underground, underground. Yeah. Well, we

(01:00:08):
look forward to seeing all of that. We look forward
to seeing more of your scientific TikTok's um. Thank you
for joining us. Thank you to the listeners. Thank you
to the emailers Anonymous and Emily. Thank you to Easton
and Hannah. That's gonna do for this week's episode of
Help I Suck At Dating. Be sure to tune in
next week, where maybe we suck just a little bit less.
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