September 1, 2025 • 23 mins
From “Shrekking” to “Future Proofing” to “Micro-Mancing” do you fall into one of these newly coined dating trends? Some of these dating styles have been around for ages, but we just haven’t admitted we’ve participated in them… so they have new and hilarious names. While many are entertaining to talk about, others serve as major red flags for any one who is on the market and looking for love.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ. And
you know, this is language that I'm not necessarily familiar with,
but I feel like we learn something new every day
from our daughters and maybe even wait, what is the
generation that Sabine is?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
My god, is it jen A? Now it hasn't like
gone back to the beginning of the alphabet.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Damn all these young folks.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yes, us gen xers are not familiar with so many
of the new terminologies out there for the dating world
that so many people find themselves in. But this has
been fun. Like I guess this all comes from TikTok
and Instagram, all sorts of new dating trends and dating
red flags that folks should be looking out for. So
if you're in the market or on the market so
(00:51):
to speak, for a relationship, we have a list of
new dating trends that you need to be aware of.
And I'm actually gonna see you haven't seen any of
these so far, so I'm curious I have. Let me see. Okay,
I have ten trends dating trends slash red flags. These
are terms that are now being used in the dating world.
(01:14):
I want to see how much of them you're up
on and I'd love to hear your best guess on
what you think they are, and then we can discuss
what they are and why they've become such a trend.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And is Jen alpha? By the way?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Okay, so I had the a thing, but it was Alpha? Okay,
Jen Alpha, Jen Alpha? Are they not dating yet? Are
they they're too young to date?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Well give it like two years, babe, and she's going
to start dating. She's going to start knowing all of
these terms.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
She's twelve, yeah, going on thirty twelve. Okay, all right,
So the first new dating trend and I do think
you might know this one because you and I talked
about this. But the first one I want to discuss
is shreking. What do you think shreking is?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I remember the Shreking. Yes, it had to do with
the character Shrek. It had to do When I first
heard it, it sounded fun like shreking because it was.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
A cartoon character Princess Fiona.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And but this is very negative. It has to do
with dating somebody you think is less attractive in hopes
that they'll treat you better.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Correct. Okay, you just nailed it. Ding Ding Ding, ing ding.
But here's the funny thing. So shreking is and look,
I think we've all heard this. In fact, I heard
my daughter's talking about this, saying so and so is
dating beneath her because she likes the attention she gets.
So they have friends who are deliberately dating guys who
they don't think are as attractive as they are because
(02:43):
they want to be treated better. Okay, so they get
the princess treatment.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Dear lady. Is this not an old thing that we're
just attaching a name? Yes, okay, we're just calling it.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You know what it is. I think here's the difference
between this generation and maybe ours. These kids admit to
it like they're like, yeah, I'm shreking, Like I don't
think anyone would admit to it. No, I love him.
He's got a great personality and yeah, I mean he
takes care of me. This is actually acknowledging what's going
on that and I and I don't know that it.
I was just assuming it was women doing it with men.
(03:17):
I can't imagine men would do it, you know what.
This is something that singularly I think women do. Can
you imagine a man would this be true? Dating Okay,
dating a woman who he thinks is less attractive than
him because he likes how she takes care of him.
Oh okay, that is a thing, isn't it. No, I
don't know you were laughing, so I just didn't know.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Imagio, that's why you were laughing amongst some of my friends. Okay,
but no, I'm trying to think of a single case instance.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I feel like it's the opposite with men, but maybe
I'm wrong. Oh that's funny. So yeah, you're getting shrecked. Okay, wait,
so actually it's funny you should say that, because that's
not exactly what getting shrecked is. So shreking is dating
someone you're not physically attracted to in the hopes they'll
treat you better. But getting shrecked means you dated an
(04:07):
ogre and did not get treated like a princess. So
you just got shrecked, that's what. That's what.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
So you got the tides got turned on. You essentially
tried to do it and it failed.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, I got shrecked. So even the guy who I
thought was beneath me still treated me like crap. I
got shrecked.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Okay, Damn, they're related, but different okay, correct treking Okay, yep,
shreking right again. I make sure we're on the same page.
This is an awful thing to do to somebody.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
It's terrible. It's manipulative, and you're doing it so that
your ego gets filled. That's not love. That's manipulation. Yeah,
I think so, so yes, And that is not love, folks,
That is manipulation. That is me trying to make sure
that I feel safe at all costs, even at the
cost of my partner.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
The part this sucks is then somebody thinking that's funny,
like you're bragging about it allmost that part is that's
that's tough.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
All right. So so the second dating trend is called
bank seeing.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I saw that kind of doing. Okay, what bank see is.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
The artist, correct, the street artist who's known for mysterious art.
It pops up and then it goes away.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
The dating a dating trend. Okay, So can we go
with that? Is it possible? This is my guess. Is
it a trend of doing just that, of being there
one minute and then.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Poof, yes, disappearance, Yes, you nailed it. In the context
of dating, bank seeing refers to a calculated and planned
breakup the person who dumps distances themselves in their partner
for some time, and that abruptly announces a breakup. So
you got bank seed.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okay, that is very much a a narcissistic that's an
ego driving thing to where you don't want to be
held responsible for not wanting to be in the relationship,
so you distance yourself. You're essentially creating an excuse.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Correct, So you're distancing yourself. You're probably driving the other
person crazy trying to figure out what's going on. So
you're creating a mystery the other person. Yeah, the other
person has no idea what's going on, but they definitely
feel the distance and they're starting to freak out and
panic and spiral. This is so mean and then just
abruptly and ounce of breakup like it was something that
everyone was expecting, when actually no one was expecting it.
(06:18):
This coming right, So yeah, bank sing that's the thing,
and uh yeah right, I mean it's an appropriate name
for uh what happens? Okay, Uh, the next the next
dating trend is actually a red flag. Gen z Ors
call this a red flag in relationships. It's called yap trapping.
What do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
This isn't a dating train as a flag.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It's a trend that people have seen while they're dating,
and they're saying it's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, trapping, gapping, yapping has to do with talking and
running your mouth too much. You trap, we'll kind of
trap you trapped, but you.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yep, I don't know what is Yeah, I mean you
kind of nailed it. Yeap trapping when someone dominates a conversation,
not letting the other person share their thoughts or feelings.
Gen Z's call this a red flag and relationship. So
I'm dating a yap trapper.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Someone who doesn't even allow you. It's not just a
person that talks too much, it's like you really don't
get a say.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
That's also to me a narcissistic quality where you actually
don't care at all what the other person thinks or believes.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh my god, you shouldn't have give me this one.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah trapping, thanks so much, your yap trapping, bab gap
trapping me. Let's see how that works for you. All right?
This next, this is so interesting. I want to know
what you think this trend is. The next trend is
called a nanoship. What is a nanoship?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
It's a relationship that requires the absolute minimum amount of
effort from the other person. Is that right?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
You got you got it? You got it pretty well. Okay,
So a nanoship means two people in a casual and
non committed connection where they enjoy each other's company with
zero expectations. Is a nanoship possible?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Sweetheart? This is just two people having sex.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
But you can't even expect the sex. See, there's no expectations.
You're just you're just coming together in a casual and
non committed connection. That could just be going to a movie.
That it's a nanoship. That sounds like a hell landscape.
We don't know what's going on. Well, it is a
dating trend, so yes, it could be sex, but it
(08:35):
doesn't specifically say it's just about sex. Yes, it is
the trend described two people being in a casual, non
committed connection where they enjoy each other's company with zero expectations. Fine,
a nano chefs different. Now, there's no how is that
actually possible? Do you think it's possible to actually be
(08:56):
in a long term nanoship?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yes, friends with benefits is what they used to call it.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, but I guess the friendship is even not expected.
Like again, this sounds like zero expectations is zero? It's
even lower than that.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, Okay, they're just putting names and labels on these
things now, all right, all right?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
So here here is the fifth dating trend to see
if you know what this means. It's called cushioning.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Oh my god, that's gonna mean so much dating somebody?
Is this a rebound situation? Have anything to do with rebound?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's closely related, but not exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
About this guest, A little bit do with maybe dating
someone who is going to be a not going to
be a long term thing, but maybe a soft landing,
if you will, after you went through something difficult with
somebody else.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I could see why you would think that. And it's
closely related. Okay. So cushioning is a trend that means
keeping someone as a backup option, safety net in case
your primary relationship doesn't work out. So it's like a
side piece. Basically, you're cushioning a relationship. You've got a cushion.
You've got another person who's your backup plan if your
(10:12):
primary relationship doesn't work out.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Damn that's so, who are all cushioning? Which one?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Well?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You're with, or the one you're got on stand by.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
No, the one on standby is being cushioned. You're cushioning
that person. So it's like you're you're that person's cushion.
So just in case things get ugly in the primary relationship,
you've got your backup plan. It's got your cushion. So
there are women or there are men who might be thinking,
am I being cushioned?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Do you have a cushion?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Hell no, I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Am I your cousion.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
You're my primary and my only, my one and only.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Then you wouldn't have said primary. People only say primary.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Stop stop trying to make something where they're.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Not making anything. I'm listening to what you say. I
don't have a primary woman, You know that right, You're
not my primary, You're my one. Introduce he this is row?
Is this my primary?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Is there is there ever a situation when that in
which that is acceptable? Only if both parties know yes, acceptable.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Knock yourself out, that's what you want to do. If
everybody's on the same page. No, that's never oka.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I was actually just watching couple's therapy and it's not
a throuple because the man has his primary relationship and
then he definitely and she's a secondary and she knows it.
Both women know it. They aren't together, so there's no
throuble in that sense. But I was fascinated by having
someone be fully okay with being basically an acknowledged and
(11:39):
accepted secondary relationship.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
And the two women acknowledge as well, which one of
them is the process?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Which one, yes, I did. I just saw that in
a recent couple's therapy and I was blown away by that. Okay,
so we have five more dating trends to get through.
I want to know if you all just start thinking
before the break, if you think you know what a
micromance is, do you know what loud crushing is? What
(12:06):
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Welcome back to this edition of Amy and TJ. We're
having some fun here trying to understand and actually we're
(13:17):
testing TJ's knowledge if he knows what all the latest
dating trends are for a lot of this comes from
gen Zers and maybe soon to be Jen Alpha's.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
And I'm learned that I might be being cushioned right now.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
You are not stop. Yes, you are my guy, period.
There's no one else.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
All right, So we're going to go on to number six.
He squeeze. We're going to move on to number six
in the dating trends. This one is called future proofing.
What do you think future proofing means?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Is a dating trend?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Do you do it to somebody? Do you future trend?
Do it to somebody? But you're doing it by your
own action, I'm.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
F sure correct to your relationship. Yeah, I am.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Future trending my relationship by is it? Am I making
decisions foreign advance or maybe to advance of this relationship
and maybe getting ahead of myself and some of the
decisions I'm making a little bit.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I mean, that's part of it. So the actual definition
for future proofing when someone tries to future proof their
relationship by looking for partners who are emotionally stable, financially secure,
and have aligned goals. This trend prioritize stability and commitment,
so you're not necessarily looking for the butterflies or for
(14:38):
that person who is gonna, you know, make your heart sing.
You're actually being very strategic in who you're looking for.
You're looking for someone who is going to be stable,
who's going to be committed, who's financially in a good place,
and so you will feel safe. So it's it's future proofing.
(14:58):
So you are looking for that person who you think
you will have a stable, successful relationship with.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Isn't that called mature dating?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It could be called mature dating as well, but I
still think there are people. Let's just be honest. You're
looking for butterflies, You're looking for that head over heels
that I can't stand to be without them feeling, and
that those two things don't necessarily go together. So you're
actually actively saying, I am future proofing when you're dating.
I want to make sure I know this person is
(15:29):
going to be there for me, and I'm going to
pick the kind of person who will be.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
But it sounds like you're having to compromise or settle
on the other thing. Can't the two things go hand
and in they.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Can, but it's not the priority. The priority is the
future proofing.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Shouldn't the priority be the future proofing.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Some would argue that it should be.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I'm arguing that maybe as yet, that might.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Be a more logical way, but it isn't necessarily the
romantic way or the emotional way to go forward.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Actually, that doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
That just sounds like a business partnership.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
It is, and then businesses fail daily exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, I think that's I think that's something that sounds
good on paper future but it actually is not good
in practice.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
But if you can stay focused on that, if that
is your priority in finding a mate that could be
your priority in every year of your marriage and saying
this is a solid partnership because we have a good
thing going a good business if you will in terms
of me and him, incorporate it, if you will. So
if you stay focused in the love and you don't
(16:29):
have to have butterfly, maybe that can work.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I if it works, whoever figures it out, like, I
appreciate that that works for you. So yes, this is
a trend now called future proofing, where like it just
there is an intention behind the dating. All right, I
wonder if you're gonna get this one because it sounds
like one thing and it's actually another. That's a hint.
But this dating trend of having a micromance.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Micromance, okay, techo. Logically, it's a relationship something micro. It
seems focused, it seems small. Is there as a relationship
that's too puts too much emphasis of focus on one
particular thing.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You've got the focus right, You've got the small right.
But it's a little bit different. The term micromance means
focusing on small and meaningful gestures that are romantic, for example,
sharing memes or taking walks like you are focused on
the small things that make your romance what it is,
which I actually think is cool. I was thinking it
was a short lived romance, like I'll just have a
(17:33):
short powerful romance. That's not what it is at all.
It's actually about being intentional about those small, meaningful things
you can do in the middle of your romance. So
you're focused on you want a micromance where you want
people to really or your partner and you to actually
focus on all the little meaningful things.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
That make right positive.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah. I think this is actually one of the best
dating trends, the fact that there's even this acknowledgment that
it is those small little things that make people feel
special and actually foster a romance. So I love that one,
all right? Or eight, here's the next dating trend. It's
called on the same page.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yep, Okay, I got nothing there.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Okay. Two people who bond over shared passions or hobbies.
This trend is all about the importance of shared interests
in building compatibility. So your focus when you're dating is
to find somebody who is on the same page as you.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Ooh do we have that?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Well on a lot of things, and look, I think
it can be good and it can be bad. You
don't want someone who's on the same page as you.
You somehow you think you're gonna avoid conflict or avoid
different opinions. You're never gonna find somebody who's on the
same page with you. But I think on some big
things on hobbies that can be really bonding, like running,
we're on the same page with running, horror movies, on
the same page with horror movies, and those two things
(18:46):
take up a lot of our time, if we're being honest,
and to be able to have that shared interest creates
a bonding and a connection. So people want to look
for somebody who's on the same page as them.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
That makes sense. I was thinking of it as a
matter of what happens when you can no longer be
distracted by the hiking trip or the biking trip or
the mountain climbing. Whence somebody gets injured. Is the relationship
we go away?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Right?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Do you depend too much? Can you? Can there be
a threat in depending too much on those things to
drive you and then one day you realize, oh, this
was the.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Only thing that we had in comment Yeah, I mean,
I think, yeah, it's I think I do like the
idea of finding someone who you're compatible with, and that
is easy to determine if you have shared interests. So
I think that could be definitely a positive thing. But yes,
there could be some cautionary tale to that as well.
All Right, do you know what loud crushing is.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I'm gonna guess is a social media involved in the Yes? Okay?
Is that involved with going overboard if you will, or
out of your way to declare to the world how
you feel about this person you're either in or a
relationship with, or pursuing a relationship with.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Ding Ding, You nailed it. Yes, open openly celebrating your
crush or partner on social media, sharing the excitement of
new relationships. Loud crushing, you do. I'm like, please stop
posting about me. I mean, I just it's embarrassing. Now
I'm not that great.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I'm just so excited.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Do you know what? Do you know what I think of?
What I know? This has nothing to do with social media.
This is wee before social media. But I always think
of Tom Cruise jumping on the couch with Oprah Winfrey
loud crushing Katie Holmes.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
That was loud crushing.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I mean, it's like he that was ridiculous, and it
seemed it didn't seem real. He was jumping up and
down on a couch a grown man.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Your that's too much down the couch. No, nope, not
excited because he's excited about being in a relationship with you.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Nope.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
All right, well I'll keep my excitement myself again.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Please stop with the social media post, babe. Okay, it's
just too much. It's embarrassing, all right. The final one
drum roll number tend dating trend. Here it's called freak matching.
What do you think it is?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Okay? Is this dating someone who matches your particular maybe
odd or out of the mainstream interests, whether that is
maybe you like free con.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yes, yeah, exactly one hundred percent. According to this trend,
a person finds someone who shares their unique interests. It's
about finding like minded partners. So yes, the more odd,
the more curious. Yes, does my freak match your freak?
Like that kind of a thing.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
That is interesting? Our freaks match?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I I do. I mean I think that's where people
would say the horror movie because people don't understand people
who don't like horror movies do not understand anyone who
does like that's so just no like odd interests like
you and I both love dungeons and dragons, or we
both are obsessed with some like video game that's like whatever,
(22:00):
it's some weird not even weird, but yes it could
be unique, odd, different, but the two of you get it,
and you get it in each other.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Around the world for Pokemon tournaments.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
There you go. That would be freak matching, so you know,
to each his own. I think it's fun when they
put these phrases and these coin these hashtags around some
of these dating trends. But the truth is, as you
kind of pointed out at the beginning, they're all they've
been around forever. There's nothing new that's happening. We just
have new ways of explaining some of these dating trends.
(22:30):
And I think in that sense it's good because we're
talking about them, acknowledging them and the flaws behind some
of them, and maybe even the good that comes from
a lot of them.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
And it's just always good to be on the lookout.
That's okay. I mean, some of these have funny names
and all these things, but they are worth your time.
And again, this was kind of fun. We're having a
good time with but and I expected to sit down
and just have a good time, but we go through
the Wow, this is really important stuff, right, Just about
every single one of them has impacted my relationship life
(23:00):
in some way, and maybe all of them even with you.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, exactly. So it's it's fun to stay up with
the young folks, but also to recognize some of the
habits that we all fall into and maybe the ones
that we should let go of. And with that, everyone,
thank you so much for listening to us. I'm Amy
Robach along with TJ. Holmes. Have a great day.
Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ. And
you know, this is language that I'm not necessarily familiar with,
but I feel like we learn something new every day
from our daughters and maybe even wait, what is the
generation that Sabine is?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
My god, is it jen A? Now it hasn't like
gone back to the beginning of the alphabet.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Damn all these young folks.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yes, us gen xers are not familiar with so many
of the new terminologies out there for the dating world
that so many people find themselves in. But this has
been fun. Like I guess this all comes from TikTok
and Instagram, all sorts of new dating trends and dating
red flags that folks should be looking out for. So
if you're in the market or on the market so
(00:51):
to speak, for a relationship, we have a list of
new dating trends that you need to be aware of.
And I'm actually gonna see you haven't seen any of
these so far, so I'm curious I have. Let me see. Okay,
I have ten trends dating trends slash red flags. These
are terms that are now being used in the dating world.
(01:14):
I want to see how much of them you're up
on and I'd love to hear your best guess on
what you think they are, and then we can discuss
what they are and why they've become such a trend.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And is Jen alpha? By the way?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Okay, so I had the a thing, but it was Alpha? Okay,
Jen Alpha, Jen Alpha? Are they not dating yet? Are
they they're too young to date?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Well give it like two years, babe, and she's going
to start dating. She's going to start knowing all of
these terms.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
She's twelve, yeah, going on thirty twelve. Okay, all right,
So the first new dating trend and I do think
you might know this one because you and I talked
about this. But the first one I want to discuss
is shreking. What do you think shreking is?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I remember the Shreking. Yes, it had to do with
the character Shrek. It had to do When I first
heard it, it sounded fun like shreking because it was.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
A cartoon character Princess Fiona.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And but this is very negative. It has to do
with dating somebody you think is less attractive in hopes
that they'll treat you better.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Correct. Okay, you just nailed it. Ding Ding Ding, ing ding.
But here's the funny thing. So shreking is and look,
I think we've all heard this. In fact, I heard
my daughter's talking about this, saying so and so is
dating beneath her because she likes the attention she gets.
So they have friends who are deliberately dating guys who
they don't think are as attractive as they are because
(02:43):
they want to be treated better. Okay, so they get
the princess treatment.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Dear lady. Is this not an old thing that we're
just attaching a name? Yes, okay, we're just calling it.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You know what it is. I think here's the difference
between this generation and maybe ours. These kids admit to
it like they're like, yeah, I'm shreking, Like I don't
think anyone would admit to it. No, I love him.
He's got a great personality and yeah, I mean he
takes care of me. This is actually acknowledging what's going
on that and I and I don't know that it.
I was just assuming it was women doing it with men.
(03:17):
I can't imagine men would do it, you know what.
This is something that singularly I think women do. Can
you imagine a man would this be true? Dating Okay,
dating a woman who he thinks is less attractive than
him because he likes how she takes care of him.
Oh okay, that is a thing, isn't it. No, I
don't know you were laughing, so I just didn't know.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Imagio, that's why you were laughing amongst some of my friends. Okay,
but no, I'm trying to think of a single case instance.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I feel like it's the opposite with men, but maybe
I'm wrong. Oh that's funny. So yeah, you're getting shrecked. Okay, wait,
so actually it's funny you should say that, because that's
not exactly what getting shrecked is. So shreking is dating
someone you're not physically attracted to in the hopes they'll
treat you better. But getting shrecked means you dated an
(04:07):
ogre and did not get treated like a princess. So
you just got shrecked, that's what. That's what.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
So you got the tides got turned on. You essentially
tried to do it and it failed.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, I got shrecked. So even the guy who I
thought was beneath me still treated me like crap. I
got shrecked.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Okay, Damn, they're related, but different okay, correct treking Okay, yep,
shreking right again. I make sure we're on the same page.
This is an awful thing to do to somebody.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
It's terrible. It's manipulative, and you're doing it so that
your ego gets filled. That's not love. That's manipulation. Yeah,
I think so, so yes, And that is not love, folks,
That is manipulation. That is me trying to make sure
that I feel safe at all costs, even at the
cost of my partner.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
The part this sucks is then somebody thinking that's funny,
like you're bragging about it allmost that part is that's
that's tough.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
All right. So so the second dating trend is called
bank seeing.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I saw that kind of doing. Okay, what bank see is.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
The artist, correct, the street artist who's known for mysterious art.
It pops up and then it goes away.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
The dating a dating trend. Okay, So can we go
with that? Is it possible? This is my guess. Is
it a trend of doing just that, of being there
one minute and then.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Poof, yes, disappearance, Yes, you nailed it. In the context
of dating, bank seeing refers to a calculated and planned
breakup the person who dumps distances themselves in their partner
for some time, and that abruptly announces a breakup. So
you got bank seed.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okay, that is very much a a narcissistic that's an
ego driving thing to where you don't want to be
held responsible for not wanting to be in the relationship,
so you distance yourself. You're essentially creating an excuse.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Correct, So you're distancing yourself. You're probably driving the other
person crazy trying to figure out what's going on. So
you're creating a mystery the other person. Yeah, the other
person has no idea what's going on, but they definitely
feel the distance and they're starting to freak out and
panic and spiral. This is so mean and then just
abruptly and ounce of breakup like it was something that
everyone was expecting, when actually no one was expecting it.
(06:18):
This coming right, So yeah, bank sing that's the thing,
and uh yeah right, I mean it's an appropriate name
for uh what happens? Okay, Uh, the next the next
dating trend is actually a red flag. Gen z Ors
call this a red flag in relationships. It's called yap trapping.
What do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
This isn't a dating train as a flag.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
It's a trend that people have seen while they're dating,
and they're saying it's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, trapping, gapping, yapping has to do with talking and
running your mouth too much. You trap, we'll kind of
trap you trapped, but you.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yep, I don't know what is Yeah, I mean you
kind of nailed it. Yeap trapping when someone dominates a conversation,
not letting the other person share their thoughts or feelings.
Gen Z's call this a red flag and relationship. So
I'm dating a yap trapper.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Someone who doesn't even allow you. It's not just a
person that talks too much, it's like you really don't
get a say.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
That's also to me a narcissistic quality where you actually
don't care at all what the other person thinks or believes.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh my god, you shouldn't have give me this one.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah trapping, thanks so much, your yap trapping, bab gap
trapping me. Let's see how that works for you. All right?
This next, this is so interesting. I want to know
what you think this trend is. The next trend is
called a nanoship. What is a nanoship?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
It's a relationship that requires the absolute minimum amount of
effort from the other person. Is that right?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
You got you got it? You got it pretty well. Okay,
So a nanoship means two people in a casual and
non committed connection where they enjoy each other's company with
zero expectations. Is a nanoship possible?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Sweetheart? This is just two people having sex.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
But you can't even expect the sex. See, there's no expectations.
You're just you're just coming together in a casual and
non committed connection. That could just be going to a movie.
That it's a nanoship. That sounds like a hell landscape.
We don't know what's going on. Well, it is a
dating trend, so yes, it could be sex, but it
(08:35):
doesn't specifically say it's just about sex. Yes, it is
the trend described two people being in a casual, non
committed connection where they enjoy each other's company with zero expectations. Fine,
a nano chefs different. Now, there's no how is that
actually possible? Do you think it's possible to actually be
(08:56):
in a long term nanoship?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yes, friends with benefits is what they used to call it.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, but I guess the friendship is even not expected.
Like again, this sounds like zero expectations is zero? It's
even lower than that.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, Okay, they're just putting names and labels on these
things now, all right, all right?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
So here here is the fifth dating trend to see
if you know what this means. It's called cushioning.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Oh my god, that's gonna mean so much dating somebody?
Is this a rebound situation? Have anything to do with rebound?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's closely related, but not exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
About this guest, A little bit do with maybe dating
someone who is going to be a not going to
be a long term thing, but maybe a soft landing,
if you will, after you went through something difficult with
somebody else.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I could see why you would think that. And it's
closely related. Okay. So cushioning is a trend that means
keeping someone as a backup option, safety net in case
your primary relationship doesn't work out. So it's like a
side piece. Basically, you're cushioning a relationship. You've got a cushion.
You've got another person who's your backup plan if your
(10:12):
primary relationship doesn't work out.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Damn that's so, who are all cushioning? Which one?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Well?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You're with, or the one you're got on stand by.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
No, the one on standby is being cushioned. You're cushioning
that person. So it's like you're you're that person's cushion.
So just in case things get ugly in the primary relationship,
you've got your backup plan. It's got your cushion. So
there are women or there are men who might be thinking,
am I being cushioned?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Do you have a cushion?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Hell no, I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Am I your cousion.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
You're my primary and my only, my one and only.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Then you wouldn't have said primary. People only say primary.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Stop stop trying to make something where they're.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Not making anything. I'm listening to what you say. I
don't have a primary woman, You know that right, You're
not my primary, You're my one. Introduce he this is row?
Is this my primary?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Is there is there ever a situation when that in
which that is acceptable? Only if both parties know yes, acceptable.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Knock yourself out, that's what you want to do. If
everybody's on the same page. No, that's never oka.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I was actually just watching couple's therapy and it's not
a throuple because the man has his primary relationship and
then he definitely and she's a secondary and she knows it.
Both women know it. They aren't together, so there's no
throuble in that sense. But I was fascinated by having
someone be fully okay with being basically an acknowledged and
(11:39):
accepted secondary relationship.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
And the two women acknowledge as well, which one of
them is the process?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Which one, yes, I did. I just saw that in
a recent couple's therapy and I was blown away by that. Okay,
so we have five more dating trends to get through.
I want to know if you all just start thinking
before the break, if you think you know what a
micromance is, do you know what loud crushing is? What
(12:06):
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Welcome back to this edition of Amy and TJ. We're
having some fun here trying to understand and actually we're
(13:17):
testing TJ's knowledge if he knows what all the latest
dating trends are for a lot of this comes from
gen Zers and maybe soon to be Jen Alpha's.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
And I'm learned that I might be being cushioned right now.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
You are not stop. Yes, you are my guy, period.
There's no one else.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
All right, So we're going to go on to number six.
He squeeze. We're going to move on to number six
in the dating trends. This one is called future proofing.
What do you think future proofing means?
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Is a dating trend?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Do you do it to somebody? Do you future trend?
Do it to somebody? But you're doing it by your
own action, I'm.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
F sure correct to your relationship. Yeah, I am.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Future trending my relationship by is it? Am I making
decisions foreign advance or maybe to advance of this relationship
and maybe getting ahead of myself and some of the
decisions I'm making a little bit.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
I mean, that's part of it. So the actual definition
for future proofing when someone tries to future proof their
relationship by looking for partners who are emotionally stable, financially secure,
and have aligned goals. This trend prioritize stability and commitment,
so you're not necessarily looking for the butterflies or for
(14:38):
that person who is gonna, you know, make your heart sing.
You're actually being very strategic in who you're looking for.
You're looking for someone who is going to be stable,
who's going to be committed, who's financially in a good place,
and so you will feel safe. So it's it's future proofing.
(14:58):
So you are looking for that person who you think
you will have a stable, successful relationship with.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Isn't that called mature dating?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It could be called mature dating as well, but I
still think there are people. Let's just be honest. You're
looking for butterflies, You're looking for that head over heels
that I can't stand to be without them feeling, and
that those two things don't necessarily go together. So you're
actually actively saying, I am future proofing when you're dating.
I want to make sure I know this person is
(15:29):
going to be there for me, and I'm going to
pick the kind of person who will be.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
But it sounds like you're having to compromise or settle
on the other thing. Can't the two things go hand
and in they.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Can, but it's not the priority. The priority is the
future proofing.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Shouldn't the priority be the future proofing.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Some would argue that it should be.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I'm arguing that maybe as yet, that might.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Be a more logical way, but it isn't necessarily the
romantic way or the emotional way to go forward.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Actually, that doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
That just sounds like a business partnership.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
It is, and then businesses fail daily exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, I think that's I think that's something that sounds
good on paper future but it actually is not good
in practice.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
But if you can stay focused on that, if that
is your priority in finding a mate that could be
your priority in every year of your marriage and saying
this is a solid partnership because we have a good
thing going a good business if you will in terms
of me and him, incorporate it, if you will. So
if you stay focused in the love and you don't
(16:29):
have to have butterfly, maybe that can work.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I if it works, whoever figures it out, like, I
appreciate that that works for you. So yes, this is
a trend now called future proofing, where like it just
there is an intention behind the dating. All right, I
wonder if you're gonna get this one because it sounds
like one thing and it's actually another. That's a hint.
But this dating trend of having a micromance.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Micromance, okay, techo. Logically, it's a relationship something micro. It
seems focused, it seems small. Is there as a relationship
that's too puts too much emphasis of focus on one
particular thing.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You've got the focus right, You've got the small right.
But it's a little bit different. The term micromance means
focusing on small and meaningful gestures that are romantic, for example,
sharing memes or taking walks like you are focused on
the small things that make your romance what it is,
which I actually think is cool. I was thinking it
was a short lived romance, like I'll just have a
(17:33):
short powerful romance. That's not what it is at all.
It's actually about being intentional about those small, meaningful things
you can do in the middle of your romance. So
you're focused on you want a micromance where you want
people to really or your partner and you to actually
focus on all the little meaningful things.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
That make right positive.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah. I think this is actually one of the best
dating trends, the fact that there's even this acknowledgment that
it is those small little things that make people feel
special and actually foster a romance. So I love that one,
all right? Or eight, here's the next dating trend. It's
called on the same page.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yep, Okay, I got nothing there.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Okay. Two people who bond over shared passions or hobbies.
This trend is all about the importance of shared interests
in building compatibility. So your focus when you're dating is
to find somebody who is on the same page as you.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Ooh do we have that?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Well on a lot of things, and look, I think
it can be good and it can be bad. You
don't want someone who's on the same page as you.
You somehow you think you're gonna avoid conflict or avoid
different opinions. You're never gonna find somebody who's on the
same page with you. But I think on some big
things on hobbies that can be really bonding, like running,
we're on the same page with running, horror movies, on
the same page with horror movies, and those two things
(18:46):
take up a lot of our time, if we're being honest,
and to be able to have that shared interest creates
a bonding and a connection. So people want to look
for somebody who's on the same page as them.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
That makes sense. I was thinking of it as a
matter of what happens when you can no longer be
distracted by the hiking trip or the biking trip or
the mountain climbing. Whence somebody gets injured. Is the relationship
we go away?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Right?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Do you depend too much? Can you? Can there be
a threat in depending too much on those things to
drive you and then one day you realize, oh, this
was the.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Only thing that we had in comment Yeah, I mean,
I think, yeah, it's I think I do like the
idea of finding someone who you're compatible with, and that
is easy to determine if you have shared interests. So
I think that could be definitely a positive thing. But yes,
there could be some cautionary tale to that as well.
All Right, do you know what loud crushing is.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I'm gonna guess is a social media involved in the Yes? Okay?
Is that involved with going overboard if you will, or
out of your way to declare to the world how
you feel about this person you're either in or a
relationship with, or pursuing a relationship with.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Ding Ding, You nailed it. Yes, open openly celebrating your
crush or partner on social media, sharing the excitement of
new relationships. Loud crushing, you do. I'm like, please stop
posting about me. I mean, I just it's embarrassing. Now
I'm not that great.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I'm just so excited.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Do you know what? Do you know what I think of?
What I know? This has nothing to do with social media.
This is wee before social media. But I always think
of Tom Cruise jumping on the couch with Oprah Winfrey
loud crushing Katie Holmes.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
That was loud crushing.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I mean, it's like he that was ridiculous, and it
seemed it didn't seem real. He was jumping up and
down on a couch a grown man.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Your that's too much down the couch. No, nope, not
excited because he's excited about being in a relationship with you.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Nope.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
All right, well I'll keep my excitement myself again.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Please stop with the social media post, babe. Okay, it's
just too much. It's embarrassing, all right. The final one
drum roll number tend dating trend. Here it's called freak matching.
What do you think it is?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Okay? Is this dating someone who matches your particular maybe
odd or out of the mainstream interests, whether that is
maybe you like free con.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Yes, yeah, exactly one hundred percent. According to this trend,
a person finds someone who shares their unique interests. It's
about finding like minded partners. So yes, the more odd,
the more curious. Yes, does my freak match your freak?
Like that kind of a thing.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
That is interesting? Our freaks match?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I I do. I mean I think that's where people
would say the horror movie because people don't understand people
who don't like horror movies do not understand anyone who
does like that's so just no like odd interests like
you and I both love dungeons and dragons, or we
both are obsessed with some like video game that's like whatever,
(22:00):
it's some weird not even weird, but yes it could
be unique, odd, different, but the two of you get it,
and you get it in each other.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Around the world for Pokemon tournaments.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
There you go. That would be freak matching, so you know,
to each his own. I think it's fun when they
put these phrases and these coin these hashtags around some
of these dating trends. But the truth is, as you
kind of pointed out at the beginning, they're all they've
been around forever. There's nothing new that's happening. We just
have new ways of explaining some of these dating trends.
(22:30):
And I think in that sense it's good because we're
talking about them, acknowledging them and the flaws behind some
of them, and maybe even the good that comes from
a lot of them.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
And it's just always good to be on the lookout.
That's okay. I mean, some of these have funny names
and all these things, but they are worth your time.
And again, this was kind of fun. We're having a
good time with but and I expected to sit down
and just have a good time, but we go through
the Wow, this is really important stuff, right, Just about
every single one of them has impacted my relationship life
(23:00):
in some way, and maybe all of them even with you.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Yeah, exactly. So it's it's fun to stay up with
the young folks, but also to recognize some of the
habits that we all fall into and maybe the ones
that we should let go of. And with that, everyone,
thank you so much for listening to us. I'm Amy
Robach along with TJ. Holmes. Have a great day.
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