February 1, 2025 • 30 mins
Bob Guiney and Andrew Firestone are hanging out in Pebble Beach with the latest success story from Bachelor Nation, Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple!
They open up about the challenges they’ve faced in their relationship since the finale of The Golden Bachelorette, and Joan and Chock get real about life as empty nesters!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the almost famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome back to almost Famous The Ogs, the Podcast of
the Stars.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I just added that part. I don't know where that
came from.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Day two, Day two of the Pebble Beach Extravaganza with
my beautiful and handsome co host Andrew Firestone.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Standing in for Trista standing in for Trista early on
for Dear Life.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You're doing a fantastic job, buddy. Let's recap our final
interview of last night. Just to bring you guys up
to speed. We got a chance to speak with Tim, Keith,
Keith and uh. Keith was sitting where I was sitting
where you are, and Andrew was there, and Keith was here,
and I believe the interview opened with Keith going, I
just got to tell you, guys, I don't even remember
who the hell you are, and I thought you were
(00:44):
a dick.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So Keith, I think he had had a couple of
glasses of Hawaii from dinner, I remember.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
So, I think.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
I think interviewing Keith is not dissimilar to drinking out
of a fire host.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
No, he did not have anything to say.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
No, No, we didn't hear and listen super reserved took
a while to get him out of his show.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
But you know, once once we once we got him out,
we scratched the surface.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
A little boy came out. My goodness. Yeah, we learned
a lot though.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
You could see why I kept him around for so long.
He's so entertaining, he's such a great guy.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
He's a party and party in a pocket that I know.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
The party centers on Keith.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Oh my god, they broke the mold on them. They
sure did, buddy, they shared it.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Well.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Welcome to show you, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We've got Joan and Chock here, of course, the golden
Bachelorette couple that came off the show, which we're very,
very proud of, you guys. And I was thinking about
it earlier today and I even brought it up to Joan,
and I thought, you know, we didn't do these things
when Andrew and I were the Bachelor. We didn't do
like organized events where we got together with our discarded
I don't know how you're saying like I was a
(01:49):
lovable loser for trist this season. Probably in no wife a.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Cell phone back then.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Okay, thanks, wagons would have taken forever hot assembly pigeons.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah, by telegraph.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
But but you know, it's it's nice that we get
to get to together like this and get to see
you like I love to seeing Chalk inter you know,
interact with all of his guys from this from your season.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Is it nice for you?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I mean, is it nice to get together and see
the guys Chalk and absolutely?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yet yesterday we had a couple of ranks just reminisced
about the Bachelor Mansion, the journey that we all had,
just catch it up.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah, it's got to be.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think it'd be fun because I know I like
to get together with the guys from Trista's season. She
wasn't there necessarily, so it's it could be a blessing
and a curse for you, I would guess. But it's
about to be really nice for you to get to
see see of those guys too.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
So I love seeing it because you know, you give
up a lot of your life to be on that show.
So you know, sending somebody home is really hard, and
like those Rose ceremonies were like torture for me. I
hated it. I hated it because even if you don't
have a love connection with them, you have a friendship,
your form friendships no matter what. So to see that
they came out whole and like really good and at
least got friendships out of this. And you know, like
(03:02):
they all said, they all kind of had this therapy.
They had these moments that they were in this weird place,
you know, in their life in their sixties and fifties
and sixties, we didn't have many seven year olds, but
and found themselves single and found this tribe of people
that were experiencing the same thing, and then got to
like work through some of their issues that they had
kind of been holding in because there aren't a lot
(03:22):
of people like us. I mean, like I had almost
no friends that were my age and single, and I'm
sure these guys didn't either. So they came off this
journey kind of whole and with this great group of friends,
even if they didn't get a love connection.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, it's a kind of a like Andrew was saying yesterday,
you said it a few times, there's a positive value
that comes out of doing something like Yes.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
I think one thing that I noticed just from talking
to some of the crew last night and watching them
all interact, and I was thinking of the dichotomy of
when I was on the show when I was twenty
six versus doing the show now at a more mature age,
where you have confidence that's not bravado, meaning you're not cocky,
but you have a confidence because you've you've done things,
you've raised kids, you've had a career, and you come
(04:02):
in with a with an experience and a perspective that's
completely different than some of the that the young you know,
quote unquote younger bachelors, because they're just starting their life off.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
They don't know what they.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Like right, they don't know where they're going, they don't
have an experience, and I mean they have, you know,
kind of this optimism and kind of a doe look
in their eyes. But I think that the perspective that
this gives is like, no, no, no, I have you know,
I have done this, I've been there, and this is
actually what I want. Yeah, And that's that's a confidence
that's earned as opposed to taken.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, well, I think that that plays a little bit
into the drama that happens in the younger of acheloues
because I don't think that they have, like you said,
a lot of confidence that they're just trying to figure
themselves out and they are. I think that their backstories
aren't big enough to carry a season of making them interesting.
So what makes the season interesting is the drama.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
So they just don't have enough. They haven't lived enough life.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
And when you're younger, too, everything offends you.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, you know what I mean when you're funny, like, yeah,
you know, I watched Shock last night, and you handle
it so well. You know, you have this this kind
of quiet confidence about you which I really admire. And
you're in the restaurant there and you know, someone comes
over and you know they you know, I mean and
(05:22):
Andrew and I have talked about this and laughed about
this over the years because people will come up and
they go, I've never watched your show, but I want
to get a picture with you. And you have to
determine in that moment. Okay, am I going to be like,
well then why do you want to picture with me?
Or do I just go all what the HELLP?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And so what the hell?
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Got right?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I mean, I watched you do it. I watch you know,
and it's kind of funny. I got to that point
probably later in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I was probably like, if you didn't watch the show,
why you interrupted dinner.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
Has a lot of men that go, well, I want
to take a picture with you so I can get
it to my wife.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Yeah. Share, I'm curious.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
So, you know, on your path or your journey. I
hate using those words, but what were what were the
anxiety points? What were the things? Was it a career,
was it family? Was it your own you know, worried
about getting your own heart broken? Was there anything that
was kind of stuck out as an anxiety point as
you went through for those you know, those months where
you're like kind of on an island, like you don't
have that support around you for a little while, So
(06:17):
don't you're all you're all alone and like in the
you know, in the and when it gets dark and
you're you're sitting in bed, you're like, this.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Is what and you get it so well because you
did it and yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Well, the only people you didn't talk to are these
producers who then you're the whole time you're thinking they
have agenda? Are they working their agenda? Do I have
to rethink everything I say to these people?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I feel the same way. That's such a good question,
because you are so alone, you don't have your friend,
you don't have your family, You have nobody to balance
any ideas off of it, and you also have nobody
to meet the people, so you are completely in charge
of making the judgment, and you don't ever know if
everybody is really showing their true selves. Are they showing
their Bachelor TV shelves or selves or are they showing
you who they really really are? So and you have
(06:56):
you don't have a lot of time to spend with
people unless they have an individual date, which you'll only
have what I think I had. I think I had seven, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I think that's more actually than a normal season. I
think normally you have four individual dates and then the
rest are group dates.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Because I don't remember, but I mean there's a lot
of time and several vodkas I go, but I don't remember,
But I think it's I think your season had more.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah, I was really lucky. I asked for more, Like
they said, what do you want? And I was like,
I think you need more time with people. Like those
group dates. They're fun, but and you see like little
things about people, but you never get to have like
serious conversations. So I think my anxiety came exactly from
what you guys are talking about those late nights where
you're wondering, am I seeing the true person? Like I
(07:46):
need somebody that I can trust to talk to, and
you have nobody, and you're just you're out on an island.
You're making the decisions all by yourself. And I'll said
some guilt about like moving on and that myke, you
and I have talked about this before. About my kids
kind of thought, Okay, well, this is like Mom's new life.
She's going to be kind of ours and maybe a
little at our service because we have my grandchildren now.
(08:08):
And I think that it was a little hard for
them to accept that. You know, I had in my mind,
like thirty two, I had thirty two great years of John.
I thought I have thirty two more years possibly that
I could have another great love in my life and
I was going to find that. And they kind of
had to like adjust to that that thought. So I
had a little guilt I was dealing with while it
was air.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
It's something mother's guilt is so interesting, it's so difful,
it's awful.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
So what about you, Chuck, Like, what was what was
your you know, because you're you're obviously your professional. You
have your job, you have all you you have your
life there and now you're kind of removing you you're
taking a hiatus from that. And was there anything that
it was keeping you up at night? Was there anything
that was that was worrying you about about this?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I mean you also had the option to leave, but like,
what what was your what was your anxiety?
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Very fair question and my best answer on that is,
I really don't have anxiety. Been through a lot of
my life and you just deal with it. It's life.
That's the journey of life. In these chapters what I'm
a guy that sits it. I'll get nervous or anxious.
Where do I put my car keys? It's the little stuff. Yeah,
stuff going, you know, I've got to deal with it.
And so with Joan, I just knew right away, and
(09:18):
people asked, they go, when was the moment? There was
a lot of moments. We got along very well in
the Disneyland day, but I watched her handle these other
men and we're both very social and guys friends, and
I go, I need somebody. I want somebody in my
life like that that's eloquent, that's caring for other people.
And so that anxiety you just never existed, because I go,
(09:39):
I do right away within a couple of just times
that we had together. As far as the other guys,
there were some really good guys and I knew there
was two of them that really cared for Joan. And again,
I think when you're older, you're going It was Joan's
decision of who she took to the end, and you
just have to say, that's fate. Whatever happens happened. Yeah,
(10:00):
and we've all had loves in her life and it
wouldn't worked out. I would have been hurt, but I
wasn't going to be anxious about it going. She needs
to make the decision, the right decision for her, sure,
because she was the lead, right one of us could
have said, hey we're out. Yeah, and I respect somebody.
I had a conversation no names with somebody yesterday and
they go it just wasn't you know, it wasn't going
to work with the two of it. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, there's certain people that like kind of end up
in friend zone pretty early. And can you guys get
like you and the man get it and you can
see it and you can feel it. And I certainly
was in friend zone with some people, but like I
needed the friends too. Sure, So you know, sometimes you
keep friends along on the journey because you need them,
Like you can't just have all, you know, possible love interests.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I was trist as friend zone. Yeah, I know, I know,
but I felt it too.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
You knew it?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah, oh yeah, Like I literally started advocating for Ryan.
And She'll tell you this that I literally was like,
got that guy, man, you know, because she I think
I told Andrew the story last night. I thought someone
She comes home from a date that I was not
on and it was like a one on one date
or whatever. And she comes home and I'm there with
you know, the other fifteen guys in the mansion, and
it's it's a frat party.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
It's going off, and she's like.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Pulls me aside because I'm the leader of the party.
Of course, of course, She's like, why would I go
on a date with you? I come back and everyone's
reading the Bible and meditating, but I go on a
date without you, and I come back to this, I'm
not for the record ryants and they're writing poetry for you.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, so yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
People know kind of where they're at right from the beginning,
you know, And there might be a reason I was
going to ask you as this too, because you do
navigate this stuff very well and very similarly, you know,
very you guys have a nice energy about you.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Do you ever get tired of feeling like you have
to defend your relationship? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Like you you come off of a TV show and
everyone's like, oh, this can't be real.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I feel like a lot of the couples from The Bachelor,
uh franchise prior to the Golden failed as a result
of always feeling like they had to defend that relationship
because it's an additional pressure.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Feel like our body language when we're we're in public,
work together. Yeah, just tells everyone. It's the Internet where
people just want to pick you apart in everything. So
the solution of that, like Joe Rogan says, don't read it. Yeah,
just stay away and you don't have any of those
problems because we could. I mean, it could be absolutely
perfect and somebody out there in this world's going to
go it's not. Yeah, but we have a great time together.
(12:29):
We were It's like we've said this numerous times. It's
like we've been married five or ten years. Yeah, there
was a reason we ended up together, and we just
compliment each other or we just go okay, you.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Know, yeah, he's super easy. Yeah, I mean I have
to I'm probably not the easy part of this relationship.
So he goes with the flow, which is thank you
very much, because I have a lot of other stuff,
as he knows, with the family and stuff. You know,
I'm like the matriarch, so I have a lot of.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Close to our hotel room here. You know, we need
one three times.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, I know, But I do feel like I do
feel a little responsible for making people think or know
that this is real and first and I don't know
why I feel this responsibility, but like I want them,
I want people to know that this can really work.
And then it does work with a lot of people,
(13:22):
and especially.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
When it's working for you, because it's people are going
to always have that sort of judgmental skepticism. Yeah, that immediately,
and you know, I think, you know, I I remember
feeling that kind of pressure.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And we obviously we didn't make it to the end clearly,
but I remember feeling that kind of pressure and thinking,
you know, God, how do these other people deal with it,
you know, and it was kind of interesting, you know,
and I wondered if you guys, if you guys felt.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
That definitely, and especially like on the heels of Gary
and Traesa not working out, like I feel I actually
going into the season, I felt like maybe I was
responsible for like this, like this golden continuing. If I
didn't make it and then they didn't make it, They're
gonna be like, oh, it doesn't work for the stage group.
So I did feel a little bit of pressure, but
(14:06):
I wasn't gonna let that detect my decision because this
is still my life.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
So I wasn't a letter.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So I happily found my person. So I feel responsible.
I want that to be out there. And we've even
done we did an Instagram post one time when I
was just sick of it and we were we were
in California and we were in LA for something, I
don't remember what it was for, and we came home
from being out dinner and I was like, let's just
like talk and so we laid in bed and I'm like,
(14:31):
I don't understand why people don't think we're not real
Like here we are. We're in California, we were together
all the time, we were together like every other week.
I mean, we make efforts to each other and they
still don't believe it. And we post, and then the
other thing happens is you post and people like, oh,
you're just in it for the fame. I'm like, well,
I don't. I can't win here, Yeah, you can't.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Wait, you can't win because if you show them the proof, Well,
why do you feel like you have to show us?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, exactly, that's exactly the same.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
I can't win here. So what does life look like
for you guys? Now?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
What I mean not looking down the road, but like
right now, what is what what's life for for you guys?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Now?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
A lot of travel, a lot of you you're off
to a little vacation and we'll give it away. But
you guys, so this is the fun part.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Is the fun part, you know, this is the part
that so when you're our age, you've spent your whole
life like planning for this time in your life. You know,
you've raised your family, you've built your careers, you've you know,
maybe got made a little money, so you have some
resources where you can finally kind of just have fun.
And we are finally at that point in our life.
And then all of a sudden, like I didn't have
(15:31):
anybody to have that fun with and and you didn't either.
So we found each other and now we can start
that part of our life. And so we really are.
We've traveled a lot. We go to New York City
all the time. He's come to Maryland a bunch of times.
I've been to Kansas, planned to go back, of course,
and then we're going to we're finally going on a
vacation just the two of us. We haven't been able
to do this.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Yeah, And I think the batchel of captures like kind
of these different chapters, like kind of four chapters. I
think in life, there's like, you know, adolescence, then there's
that kind of young period, and then child raising and
family and career building, and then this chapter and Bacheler
catches chapter two in chapter four and that the chapter three,
which is where where I am and what is It's like,
(16:13):
you know, it's it's you know, it's a lot of work,
it's a lot of responsibility, and it's not you know,
it's not as exciting as where you guys are. It's
not as exciting where chapter two was, which is a
kind of like optimistic, the world's you know, my oyster
whatever else. But I think it's really cool that you
guys have had those three chapters individually, that perspective, that
confidence that you know, that that life experience, and now
(16:36):
you're like, both, yes, this is what we want to do.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
I want to do it. Do you want to do it?
I want to do it when together? And if you
don't total that's okay, that's fine, and you don't, and so.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I think that's that's like this this kind of bond
that you guys have, that that the younger bachelors don't
have yet.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
Yeah, I do want to do this on your podcast.
I want to announce we are going to adopt a baby.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
You heard it here first anybody.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
My father, my father and my mother both adopted people.
So I've been through that.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yes, jo I'll die.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I love.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Like guys this one f y were getting married tomorrow night.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
He's doing this.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
We also so part of the podcast, we're actually we
have a baby Labrador Retriever, a little puppy.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
We're gonna give you would your voyage.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I already have a dog. I don't need another dog.
But he is like an adopted dog.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
So we're going to speak to that point too that
you know, be remiss if we don't mention that. Obviously
the The Golden Bachelor they divorced, they kind of and
we've talked about this. They had rushed into the marriage
scenario and and you guys seem to have your own timeline.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
About it, which which is no timeline.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
It's just like, you know what, we're just riding with it.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And I I had actually even said at that time
and I and I did not know either those those
people there, Gary or.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah I think I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
And I was like, so I didn't want to judge,
Like everyone's like, what do you think? And I'm like,
I don't know them, So I don't know, I said,
but I I don't know why there would be a
rush at this stage in the game two to do
that when you have family where you're where you're at,
and you have family where you're at in Kansa, It's like,
why would you try and up end everything?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
It's like, let's just roll with it to be a
part of each other's lives. Yeah, I mean I think
it's pretty I think that speaks volumes as well, because
I think that the pressure for the younger bachelor people
are Okay, now you're now you're engaged, Now you gotta
ge married, married, let's go.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You know.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
I didn't have the whole thing getting married, but but Jen,
who I was with my season, lived in Chicago and
I was in San Francisco, and so I felt where
we both felt this compulsion were like she needed to
be with me or I need to be with her,
and we decided to San Francisco. But I didn't realize,
or we didn't realize, we're upending her entire life. So
not only were we making this transition to now we're
(18:59):
going to be together, but her job, her house, like
all this stuff, her friends, and I didn't have the
perspective on it, probably to be cautious enough about it,
or be or be mindful enough about it, like look
at all of this stuff for giving up.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
All I thought was we're together, this is fun, and
we're gonna go.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Do this and this, And you know what, I did
not give the consideration that she had just basically just
kind of pulled the ripcord on everything that she had
done up until that point, which was hers on her
own and now it's just like now we're together. And
that was you know, I mean the press and the
I'll put that aside. It was just two people that
(19:34):
all of a sudden were like instantly without you know,
kind of leaning into it, without speeding up into it,
which is like you know, we're at we're at max
capacity right away.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, And a huge responsibility for you because all of
a sudden you have like this dependent yeah, like like
she's not your equal anymore. Like she didn't have her
life and you had your life. Now you have your
life and she has nothing.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Yeah. And I didn't and I didn't put that.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I didn't give that enough care, I think, and in
hindsight now you know, with you know, looking back, of course,
I see that.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
But I just don't think that I was careful enough
with that. And I regret.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
That's amazing that the canyon and we've gone through that
the region our marriage recently, you know. But I upended
us and moved us to Michigan. Yeah, she gave up everything,
and it was like and I wasn't as thoughtful as
I should have been about it either, because I was
thinking about, oh, my dad's health and you know, I
had these other things that were motivating us and motivating me,
I guess, and uh, yeah, you don't realize that's that's
(20:28):
really thoughtful of you to think like that because.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
And even you know, with my my wife, we've been
married now seventeen years in July, and but she to
raise kids, you know, like she gave up all of
her life there as well. And I'm thinking, you know,
this is what you need to do, and this is
you know, she wants to do it.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I want to do it.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
But now you like think of all of the sacrifices
that she made in order to give us this happy life,
which is amazing. But there's a part of it that
she had to sacrifice way more than I did. Sure, Yeah, Kevin,
the moment, in the moment, I'm like, no, this is
what we both want, right, this is what we want. Okay,
let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Never thought about
what the sacrifice was.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Well, even if you like don't move or you don't
you know, you know, make any big changes like as
far as location, you know, when you have kids, there
are sacrifices at that point. And so like I gave
up my career, I was a I was a computer programmer.
I wrote code, and I gave it my career to
like raise my kids. But when the kids are raised,
that's when it really hits you, because then all of
(21:26):
a sudden, you're like, wow, my kids are out of
the house.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Just getting a really weird place to be as a
woman when you give up everything and all of a sudden,
like do I go like buy tennis outfits and start
playing tennis? Like there's this weird like what do I
do now with myself? I actually went back and I
got my interior design degree, but it was like kind
of out of the blue, all of a sudden, I
felt very useless. Yeah, so you do degree.
Speaker 5 (21:52):
I have new pillows. Yeah, bedrooms been.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Coffee table will create h you know, coffee table tapestries.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Ye, posters off the wall. That's a shame. I used
to love that Cali brock post.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
I think that whatever you know, I mean, you know
for seventeen years, what you can be is additive to
the other person's life, you know, and and and recognizing
like them independently, not just as a couple. And this
is a you know, something that I'm going through right now.
It's like recognizing not only the importance of a couple,
but recognizing the importance of that individual, And how can.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I be additive to their life? How can I how
can I be supportive?
Speaker 4 (22:49):
And it's challenging because you know, so much of life
is me, me, me, Like, like what do I do?
Even if I'm thinking that I'm being generous, it's a
lot of it's in my own head.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Sure what am I?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, speaking about at least. I mean, you guys are
like such mature husbands and father is way more mature
than anybody I knew, Like when I was raising my kids.
I think that the I don't even know what, like
the like this family intelligence you have and like awareness
of your family situation is like really impressive. I just
have to say that.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Wow, it's a curve though, I mean, like it's such
a learning curve. And you know, turning fifty this year.
Like I look back when I was twenty six doing
the show or twenty seven, whoever it was, and I'm like,
I was such a baby.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Oh I was.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I was. I was such a kid. I didn't know you, No,
I didn't know it.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
But it takes a lot of living to get this mature.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Yes, but also it also takes a lot of talking
about it, right, I mean a little like through the
show and we were talking with the Gentleman last night,
to Guy and Gary, it's like they learned a little bit.
They learned a little bit about themselves, and like this
next chapter that they're in right now, maybe they have
sharpened like what it is that they want and by
by going having to sit on a couch like this
and talk to us and say it over and over again,
(24:00):
it's important to you. What are your priorities and how
do you want to spend your life? Yeah, I think
it's I think it's good to talk it through.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It makes you think about the things that are important
instead of just like y're in your head and then
you forget about them when you know something comes up.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
The child raising years of the toughest you guys will
ever go through. Yeah yeah, and then you know health
comes at that period or later with yourself, with your parents,
with your loved ones. But it's just, I mean, you're
so active. I think you said three kids, yeah, yeah,
and you've got two too. I mean you're just active.
And men have this is my opinion. Men have evaulved
back in my dad's generation, there's a lot more divorce
(24:35):
and men are so much more active and raising kids
now than what they did. I trust me. I'm with
your psychotherapy on this.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
And it's just you are because I bet you guys
go to the soccer games, you go, you know, you
might even go to practice, but you're involved so much more.
And I think that's what's keeping people together.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, but it's tough.
Speaker 5 (24:51):
I mean, can we do it again?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Raise babies I love?
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Yeah, great, but it's just so much work.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I mean, could possibly be like I could probably honestly
say that those were the best times of my life.
I mean I felt such love and we had such
close friend groups. Because you're with your kids, friends, parents,
like all the time. You like, you formed these really
really close connections, so you feel very supportive and you're
all doing it together, which is really fun. But I
look back and I'm like, I had zero time for myself.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I don't think.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I don't think I got a facial or a massage
or like, I only think I got my nails done
for like ten years.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
She literally just said this morning she went to the
gym at six am, and I'm like, what are you doing.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
You have a chance to sleep.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
In now, granted, like you we got because and she's like,
I don't have a chance to do this at home.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
No, you know, I'm going to I'm going to go
to the.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Gym and when you guys go to golf, I'm gonna
lay in my bed until Hannah tells me not to.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
So two nights ago, or sorry, a few nights ago,
is driving my son back from soccer practice, like nine
thirty at night, and I'm enting, I'm like, it's dark
and late and I'm tired of work in the morning,
blah blah blah. And then he just said to me,
just nonchalantly, just said, well, dad, you know in two
months I get my license.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
And I literally like teared up and I couldn't breathe
for a second.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
I'm like, yes, it is encompassing. It does take all
your time. I you know, you know all those things,
but man, what it's gone. I'm gonna miss it because
it doesn't come back.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Because those car conversations are so valuable. You get the
best conversations because you're not eyed eye with them. You're
looking at the road and you can and they say
things to you that they would never say if you
were sitting across from them.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
Right, offer some advice, yes, drivers, and then pay for extrat.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Make it, make it long, because.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Sons don't want to listen to you. They don't let
somebody else teach them how to drive.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Yes, but that's a captive audience in the car is
you know, driving to tournaments and doing whatever else like,
and it's just you know, they're they're there and I
don't let them use their phone when in the car.
And it's so incredibly valuable. And when he said that,
I'm like, yep, this is a chapter that's closing. Yeah,
that child raising for you know, for him in that
period is that chapter is closing and it's not opening
(27:10):
back up against.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Chapters. And I went through that, especially with my son.
What was really neat is when he turned twenty one,
he and I went to a stake place and he
ordered to drink. Yeah, and it was just he's a man,
you know. And then he was in college and then
he just recently graduated and moved to North Carolina and
you miss him. But it's you know, they've got to
go live their life. They spread their wings and find
out who and what they want.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, and don't dread like like that. I hated, you know,
my kids learning how to drive and growing up and
going to college. But when they come back, like like
great humans and adults, they are really fun too to
have around. So like, like, my kids are my favorite
people to be around. So like, there'll be some like
sad moments for you when you take them off to college,
(27:56):
but they come back and it's really really fun.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Then Yeah, well you're actually very optimistic that my kids
are going to get into cold.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
With the brains on both of those parents, I'm not
worried about you.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Well, you guys, thank you so much for joining us
at the Pebble Beach, the almost famous Pebble Beach outing.
Like we said, it's the seventeenth to Andrew, it's the
third for me. But we've had such a good time
with you guys, and I love you all be in here.
I've love getting to know you. I'm a big fan
of the two of you guys, and I just feel
like you're what you've done I think for this franchise
(28:34):
is next level because I think the authenticity of what
you guys do together is it speaks volumes way more
than you know, somebody else's track record of just rushing
to something and and you know, not getting there in.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
The proper way.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
So it's like, you know, I have no advice to
give other than you know, enjoy the ride because it's
always a fun one. And clearly if Andrew and I
are any indication, it'll go on for the next twenty
some years for you.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
So you made it. Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
But if I can ask one favor of your listeners, yes,
would you guys send me socks? I don't have socks.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
You guys take it away. You got you got Amy Sugarman,
Amy Sugar Talks.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Yeah, yeah, you guys seen Jones post about my sock.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No I didn't see it. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
So I go to his house for the first time
in Kansas, and he's like, I have like the this
sock issue. He goes, I hate like parrying my socks
after I wash them, so I just throw them into
a big container. He's actually like two containers, and I go, well,
bring them up, I'll do them. I spent two days,
like probably four or five hours each day pairing his socks,
(29:37):
and there were three hundred and forty six pairs.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm a sock man too. I've
got a ton.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, but do you pair them after you?
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Watch you for the most part. But we also have
a bin where you know the driving socks.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
I know where do they go.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
It's a pretty good sized bin. I'm not gonna lie.
I need you to come to our house. Well, I
do it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It seems it's kind of therapeutic.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Actually, I'm shure. We thanks you guys. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
You guys, thank you for when to talk to us.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
That's too like, that's all right again you as well.
Almost famous d o g. We're going golfing.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Hm.
This is the almost famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome back to almost Famous The Ogs, the Podcast of
the Stars.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I just added that part. I don't know where that
came from.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Day two, Day two of the Pebble Beach Extravaganza with
my beautiful and handsome co host Andrew Firestone.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Standing in for Trista standing in for Trista early on
for Dear Life.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You're doing a fantastic job, buddy. Let's recap our final
interview of last night. Just to bring you guys up
to speed. We got a chance to speak with Tim, Keith,
Keith and uh. Keith was sitting where I was sitting
where you are, and Andrew was there, and Keith was here,
and I believe the interview opened with Keith going, I
just got to tell you, guys, I don't even remember
who the hell you are, and I thought you were
(00:44):
a dick.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So Keith, I think he had had a couple of
glasses of Hawaii from dinner, I remember.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
So, I think.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
I think interviewing Keith is not dissimilar to drinking out
of a fire host.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
No, he did not have anything to say.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
No, No, we didn't hear and listen super reserved took
a while to get him out of his show.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
But you know, once once we once we got him out,
we scratched the surface.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
A little boy came out. My goodness. Yeah, we learned
a lot though.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
You could see why I kept him around for so long.
He's so entertaining, he's such a great guy.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
He's a party and party in a pocket that I know.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
The party centers on Keith.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Oh my god, they broke the mold on them. They
sure did, buddy, they shared it.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Well.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Welcome to show you, guys.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
We've got Joan and Chock here, of course, the golden
Bachelorette couple that came off the show, which we're very,
very proud of, you guys. And I was thinking about
it earlier today and I even brought it up to Joan,
and I thought, you know, we didn't do these things
when Andrew and I were the Bachelor. We didn't do
like organized events where we got together with our discarded
I don't know how you're saying like I was a
(01:49):
lovable loser for trist this season. Probably in no wife a.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Cell phone back then.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Okay, thanks, wagons would have taken forever hot assembly pigeons.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah, by telegraph.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
But but you know, it's it's nice that we get
to get to together like this and get to see
you like I love to seeing Chalk inter you know,
interact with all of his guys from this from your season.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Is it nice for you?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I mean, is it nice to get together and see
the guys Chalk and absolutely?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yet yesterday we had a couple of ranks just reminisced
about the Bachelor Mansion, the journey that we all had,
just catch it up.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah, it's got to be.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think it'd be fun because I know I like
to get together with the guys from Trista's season. She
wasn't there necessarily, so it's it could be a blessing
and a curse for you, I would guess. But it's
about to be really nice for you to get to
see see of those guys too.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
So I love seeing it because you know, you give
up a lot of your life to be on that show.
So you know, sending somebody home is really hard, and
like those Rose ceremonies were like torture for me. I
hated it. I hated it because even if you don't
have a love connection with them, you have a friendship,
your form friendships no matter what. So to see that
they came out whole and like really good and at
least got friendships out of this. And you know, like
(03:02):
they all said, they all kind of had this therapy.
They had these moments that they were in this weird place,
you know, in their life in their sixties and fifties
and sixties, we didn't have many seven year olds, but
and found themselves single and found this tribe of people
that were experiencing the same thing, and then got to
like work through some of their issues that they had
kind of been holding in because there aren't a lot
(03:22):
of people like us. I mean, like I had almost
no friends that were my age and single, and I'm
sure these guys didn't either. So they came off this
journey kind of whole and with this great group of friends,
even if they didn't get a love connection.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, it's a kind of a like Andrew was saying yesterday,
you said it a few times, there's a positive value
that comes out of doing something like Yes.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
I think one thing that I noticed just from talking
to some of the crew last night and watching them
all interact, and I was thinking of the dichotomy of
when I was on the show when I was twenty
six versus doing the show now at a more mature age,
where you have confidence that's not bravado, meaning you're not cocky,
but you have a confidence because you've you've done things,
you've raised kids, you've had a career, and you come
(04:02):
in with a with an experience and a perspective that's
completely different than some of the that the young you know,
quote unquote younger bachelors, because they're just starting their life off.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
They don't know what they.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Like right, they don't know where they're going, they don't
have an experience, and I mean they have, you know,
kind of this optimism and kind of a doe look
in their eyes. But I think that the perspective that
this gives is like, no, no, no, I have you know,
I have done this, I've been there, and this is
actually what I want. Yeah, And that's that's a confidence
that's earned as opposed to taken.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, well, I think that that plays a little bit
into the drama that happens in the younger of acheloues
because I don't think that they have, like you said,
a lot of confidence that they're just trying to figure
themselves out and they are. I think that their backstories
aren't big enough to carry a season of making them interesting.
So what makes the season interesting is the drama.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
So they just don't have enough. They haven't lived enough life.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
And when you're younger, too, everything offends you.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, you know what I mean when you're funny, like, yeah,
you know, I watched Shock last night, and you handle
it so well. You know, you have this this kind
of quiet confidence about you which I really admire. And
you're in the restaurant there and you know, someone comes
over and you know they you know, I mean and
(05:22):
Andrew and I have talked about this and laughed about
this over the years because people will come up and
they go, I've never watched your show, but I want
to get a picture with you. And you have to
determine in that moment. Okay, am I going to be like,
well then why do you want to picture with me?
Or do I just go all what the HELLP?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And so what the hell?
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Got right?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I mean, I watched you do it. I watch you know,
and it's kind of funny. I got to that point
probably later in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I was probably like, if you didn't watch the show,
why you interrupted dinner.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
Has a lot of men that go, well, I want
to take a picture with you so I can get
it to my wife.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Yeah. Share, I'm curious.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
So, you know, on your path or your journey. I
hate using those words, but what were what were the
anxiety points? What were the things? Was it a career,
was it family? Was it your own you know, worried
about getting your own heart broken? Was there anything that
was kind of stuck out as an anxiety point as
you went through for those you know, those months where
you're like kind of on an island, like you don't
have that support around you for a little while, So
(06:17):
don't you're all you're all alone and like in the
you know, in the and when it gets dark and
you're you're sitting in bed, you're like, this.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Is what and you get it so well because you
did it and yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Well, the only people you didn't talk to are these
producers who then you're the whole time you're thinking they
have agenda? Are they working their agenda? Do I have
to rethink everything I say to these people?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I feel the same way. That's such a good question,
because you are so alone, you don't have your friend,
you don't have your family, You have nobody to balance
any ideas off of it, and you also have nobody
to meet the people, so you are completely in charge
of making the judgment, and you don't ever know if
everybody is really showing their true selves. Are they showing
their Bachelor TV shelves or selves or are they showing
you who they really really are? So and you have
(06:56):
you don't have a lot of time to spend with
people unless they have an individual date, which you'll only
have what I think I had. I think I had seven, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I think that's more actually than a normal season. I
think normally you have four individual dates and then the
rest are group dates.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Because I don't remember, but I mean there's a lot
of time and several vodkas I go, but I don't remember,
But I think it's I think your season had more.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah, I was really lucky. I asked for more, Like
they said, what do you want? And I was like,
I think you need more time with people. Like those
group dates. They're fun, but and you see like little
things about people, but you never get to have like
serious conversations. So I think my anxiety came exactly from
what you guys are talking about those late nights where
you're wondering, am I seeing the true person? Like I
(07:46):
need somebody that I can trust to talk to, and
you have nobody, and you're just you're out on an island.
You're making the decisions all by yourself. And I'll said
some guilt about like moving on and that myke, you
and I have talked about this before. About my kids
kind of thought, Okay, well, this is like Mom's new life.
She's going to be kind of ours and maybe a
little at our service because we have my grandchildren now.
(08:08):
And I think that it was a little hard for
them to accept that. You know, I had in my mind,
like thirty two, I had thirty two great years of John.
I thought I have thirty two more years possibly that
I could have another great love in my life and
I was going to find that. And they kind of
had to like adjust to that that thought. So I
had a little guilt I was dealing with while it
was air.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
It's something mother's guilt is so interesting, it's so difful,
it's awful.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
So what about you, Chuck, Like, what was what was
your you know, because you're you're obviously your professional. You
have your job, you have all you you have your
life there and now you're kind of removing you you're
taking a hiatus from that. And was there anything that
it was keeping you up at night? Was there anything
that was that was worrying you about about this?
Speaker 3 (08:51):
I mean you also had the option to leave, but like,
what what was your what was your anxiety?
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Very fair question and my best answer on that is,
I really don't have anxiety. Been through a lot of
my life and you just deal with it. It's life.
That's the journey of life. In these chapters what I'm
a guy that sits it. I'll get nervous or anxious.
Where do I put my car keys? It's the little stuff. Yeah,
stuff going, you know, I've got to deal with it.
And so with Joan, I just knew right away, and
(09:18):
people asked, they go, when was the moment? There was
a lot of moments. We got along very well in
the Disneyland day, but I watched her handle these other
men and we're both very social and guys friends, and
I go, I need somebody. I want somebody in my
life like that that's eloquent, that's caring for other people.
And so that anxiety you just never existed, because I go,
(09:39):
I do right away within a couple of just times
that we had together. As far as the other guys,
there were some really good guys and I knew there
was two of them that really cared for Joan. And again,
I think when you're older, you're going It was Joan's
decision of who she took to the end, and you
just have to say, that's fate. Whatever happens happened. Yeah,
(10:00):
and we've all had loves in her life and it
wouldn't worked out. I would have been hurt, but I
wasn't going to be anxious about it going. She needs
to make the decision, the right decision for her, sure,
because she was the lead, right one of us could
have said, hey we're out. Yeah, and I respect somebody.
I had a conversation no names with somebody yesterday and
they go it just wasn't you know, it wasn't going
to work with the two of it. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, there's certain people that like kind of end up
in friend zone pretty early. And can you guys get
like you and the man get it and you can
see it and you can feel it. And I certainly
was in friend zone with some people, but like I
needed the friends too. Sure, So you know, sometimes you
keep friends along on the journey because you need them,
Like you can't just have all, you know, possible love interests.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I was trist as friend zone. Yeah, I know, I know,
but I felt it too.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
You knew it?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah, oh yeah, Like I literally started advocating for Ryan.
And She'll tell you this that I literally was like,
got that guy, man, you know, because she I think
I told Andrew the story last night. I thought someone
She comes home from a date that I was not
on and it was like a one on one date
or whatever. And she comes home and I'm there with
you know, the other fifteen guys in the mansion, and
it's it's a frat party.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
It's going off, and she's like.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Pulls me aside because I'm the leader of the party.
Of course, of course, She's like, why would I go
on a date with you? I come back and everyone's
reading the Bible and meditating, but I go on a
date without you, and I come back to this, I'm
not for the record ryants and they're writing poetry for you.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah, so yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
People know kind of where they're at right from the beginning,
you know, And there might be a reason I was
going to ask you as this too, because you do
navigate this stuff very well and very similarly, you know,
very you guys have a nice energy about you.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Do you ever get tired of feeling like you have
to defend your relationship? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Like you you come off of a TV show and
everyone's like, oh, this can't be real.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I feel like a lot of the couples from The Bachelor,
uh franchise prior to the Golden failed as a result
of always feeling like they had to defend that relationship
because it's an additional pressure.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
Feel like our body language when we're we're in public,
work together. Yeah, just tells everyone. It's the Internet where
people just want to pick you apart in everything. So
the solution of that, like Joe Rogan says, don't read it. Yeah,
just stay away and you don't have any of those
problems because we could. I mean, it could be absolutely
perfect and somebody out there in this world's going to
go it's not. Yeah, but we have a great time together.
(12:29):
We were It's like we've said this numerous times. It's
like we've been married five or ten years. Yeah, there
was a reason we ended up together, and we just
compliment each other or we just go okay, you.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Know, yeah, he's super easy. Yeah, I mean I have
to I'm probably not the easy part of this relationship.
So he goes with the flow, which is thank you
very much, because I have a lot of other stuff,
as he knows, with the family and stuff. You know,
I'm like the matriarch, so I have a lot of.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Close to our hotel room here. You know, we need
one three times.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, I know, But I do feel like I do
feel a little responsible for making people think or know
that this is real and first and I don't know
why I feel this responsibility, but like I want them,
I want people to know that this can really work.
And then it does work with a lot of people,
(13:22):
and especially.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
When it's working for you, because it's people are going
to always have that sort of judgmental skepticism. Yeah, that immediately,
and you know, I think, you know, I I remember
feeling that kind of pressure.
Speaker 5 (13:34):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And we obviously we didn't make it to the end clearly,
but I remember feeling that kind of pressure and thinking,
you know, God, how do these other people deal with it,
you know, and it was kind of interesting, you know,
and I wondered if you guys, if you guys felt.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
That definitely, and especially like on the heels of Gary
and Traesa not working out, like I feel I actually
going into the season, I felt like maybe I was
responsible for like this, like this golden continuing. If I
didn't make it and then they didn't make it, They're
gonna be like, oh, it doesn't work for the stage group.
So I did feel a little bit of pressure, but
(14:06):
I wasn't gonna let that detect my decision because this
is still my life.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
So I wasn't a letter.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So I happily found my person. So I feel responsible.
I want that to be out there. And we've even
done we did an Instagram post one time when I
was just sick of it and we were we were
in California and we were in LA for something, I
don't remember what it was for, and we came home
from being out dinner and I was like, let's just
like talk and so we laid in bed and I'm like,
(14:31):
I don't understand why people don't think we're not real
Like here we are. We're in California, we were together
all the time, we were together like every other week.
I mean, we make efforts to each other and they
still don't believe it. And we post, and then the
other thing happens is you post and people like, oh,
you're just in it for the fame. I'm like, well,
I don't. I can't win here, Yeah, you can't.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Wait, you can't win because if you show them the proof, Well,
why do you feel like you have to show us?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, exactly, that's exactly the same.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
I can't win here. So what does life look like
for you guys? Now?
Speaker 4 (15:00):
What I mean not looking down the road, but like
right now, what is what what's life for for you guys?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Now?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
A lot of travel, a lot of you you're off
to a little vacation and we'll give it away. But
you guys, so this is the fun part.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Is the fun part, you know, this is the part
that so when you're our age, you've spent your whole
life like planning for this time in your life. You know,
you've raised your family, you've built your careers, you've you know,
maybe got made a little money, so you have some
resources where you can finally kind of just have fun.
And we are finally at that point in our life.
And then all of a sudden, like I didn't have
(15:31):
anybody to have that fun with and and you didn't either.
So we found each other and now we can start
that part of our life. And so we really are.
We've traveled a lot. We go to New York City
all the time. He's come to Maryland a bunch of times.
I've been to Kansas, planned to go back, of course,
and then we're going to we're finally going on a
vacation just the two of us. We haven't been able
to do this.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Yeah, And I think the batchel of captures like kind
of these different chapters, like kind of four chapters. I
think in life, there's like, you know, adolescence, then there's
that kind of young period, and then child raising and
family and career building, and then this chapter and Bacheler
catches chapter two in chapter four and that the chapter three,
which is where where I am and what is It's like,
(16:13):
you know, it's it's you know, it's a lot of work,
it's a lot of responsibility, and it's not you know,
it's not as exciting as where you guys are. It's
not as exciting where chapter two was, which is a
kind of like optimistic, the world's you know, my oyster
whatever else. But I think it's really cool that you
guys have had those three chapters individually, that perspective, that
confidence that you know, that that life experience, and now
(16:36):
you're like, both, yes, this is what we want to do.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
I want to do it. Do you want to do it?
I want to do it when together? And if you
don't total that's okay, that's fine, and you don't, and so.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I think that's that's like this this kind of bond
that you guys have, that that the younger bachelors don't
have yet.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
Yeah, I do want to do this on your podcast.
I want to announce we are going to adopt a baby.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
You heard it here first anybody.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
My father, my father and my mother both adopted people.
So I've been through that.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yes, jo I'll die.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I love.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Like guys this one f y were getting married tomorrow night.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
He's doing this.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
We also so part of the podcast, we're actually we
have a baby Labrador Retriever, a little puppy.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
We're gonna give you would your voyage.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I already have a dog. I don't need another dog.
But he is like an adopted dog.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
So we're going to speak to that point too that
you know, be remiss if we don't mention that. Obviously
the The Golden Bachelor they divorced, they kind of and
we've talked about this. They had rushed into the marriage
scenario and and you guys seem to have your own timeline.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
About it, which which is no timeline.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
It's just like, you know what, we're just riding with it.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And I I had actually even said at that time
and I and I did not know either those those
people there, Gary or.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Yeah I think I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
And I was like, so I didn't want to judge,
Like everyone's like, what do you think? And I'm like,
I don't know them, So I don't know, I said,
but I I don't know why there would be a
rush at this stage in the game two to do
that when you have family where you're where you're at,
and you have family where you're at in Kansa, It's like,
why would you try and up end everything?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
It's like, let's just roll with it to be a
part of each other's lives. Yeah, I mean I think
it's pretty I think that speaks volumes as well, because
I think that the pressure for the younger bachelor people
are Okay, now you're now you're engaged, Now you gotta
ge married, married, let's go.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You know.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
I didn't have the whole thing getting married, but but Jen,
who I was with my season, lived in Chicago and
I was in San Francisco, and so I felt where
we both felt this compulsion were like she needed to
be with me or I need to be with her,
and we decided to San Francisco. But I didn't realize,
or we didn't realize, we're upending her entire life. So
not only were we making this transition to now we're
(18:59):
going to be together, but her job, her house, like
all this stuff, her friends, and I didn't have the
perspective on it, probably to be cautious enough about it,
or be or be mindful enough about it, like look
at all of this stuff for giving up.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
All I thought was we're together, this is fun, and
we're gonna go.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Do this and this, And you know what, I did
not give the consideration that she had just basically just
kind of pulled the ripcord on everything that she had
done up until that point, which was hers on her
own and now it's just like now we're together. And
that was you know, I mean the press and the
I'll put that aside. It was just two people that
(19:34):
all of a sudden were like instantly without you know,
kind of leaning into it, without speeding up into it,
which is like you know, we're at we're at max
capacity right away.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Yeah, And a huge responsibility for you because all of
a sudden you have like this dependent yeah, like like
she's not your equal anymore. Like she didn't have her
life and you had your life. Now you have your
life and she has nothing.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Yeah. And I didn't and I didn't put that.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I didn't give that enough care, I think, and in
hindsight now you know, with you know, looking back, of course,
I see that.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
But I just don't think that I was careful enough
with that. And I regret.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
That's amazing that the canyon and we've gone through that
the region our marriage recently, you know. But I upended
us and moved us to Michigan. Yeah, she gave up everything,
and it was like and I wasn't as thoughtful as
I should have been about it either, because I was
thinking about, oh, my dad's health and you know, I
had these other things that were motivating us and motivating me,
I guess, and uh, yeah, you don't realize that's that's
(20:28):
really thoughtful of you to think like that because.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
And even you know, with my my wife, we've been
married now seventeen years in July, and but she to
raise kids, you know, like she gave up all of
her life there as well. And I'm thinking, you know,
this is what you need to do, and this is
you know, she wants to do it.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I want to do it.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
But now you like think of all of the sacrifices
that she made in order to give us this happy life,
which is amazing. But there's a part of it that
she had to sacrifice way more than I did. Sure, Yeah, Kevin,
the moment, in the moment, I'm like, no, this is
what we both want, right, this is what we want. Okay,
let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Never thought about
what the sacrifice was.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Well, even if you like don't move or you don't
you know, you know, make any big changes like as
far as location, you know, when you have kids, there
are sacrifices at that point. And so like I gave
up my career, I was a I was a computer programmer.
I wrote code, and I gave it my career to
like raise my kids. But when the kids are raised,
that's when it really hits you, because then all of
(21:26):
a sudden, you're like, wow, my kids are out of
the house.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Just getting a really weird place to be as a
woman when you give up everything and all of a sudden,
like do I go like buy tennis outfits and start
playing tennis? Like there's this weird like what do I
do now with myself? I actually went back and I
got my interior design degree, but it was like kind
of out of the blue, all of a sudden, I
felt very useless. Yeah, so you do degree.
Speaker 5 (21:52):
I have new pillows. Yeah, bedrooms been.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
Coffee table will create h you know, coffee table tapestries.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Ye, posters off the wall. That's a shame. I used
to love that Cali brock post.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
I think that whatever you know, I mean, you know
for seventeen years, what you can be is additive to
the other person's life, you know, and and and recognizing
like them independently, not just as a couple. And this
is a you know, something that I'm going through right now.
It's like recognizing not only the importance of a couple,
but recognizing the importance of that individual, And how can.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I be additive to their life? How can I how
can I be supportive?
Speaker 4 (22:49):
And it's challenging because you know, so much of life
is me, me, me, Like, like what do I do?
Even if I'm thinking that I'm being generous, it's a
lot of it's in my own head.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Sure what am I?
Speaker 4 (22:59):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, speaking about at least. I mean, you guys are
like such mature husbands and father is way more mature
than anybody I knew, Like when I was raising my kids.
I think that the I don't even know what, like
the like this family intelligence you have and like awareness
of your family situation is like really impressive. I just
have to say that.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Wow, it's a curve though, I mean, like it's such
a learning curve. And you know, turning fifty this year.
Like I look back when I was twenty six doing
the show or twenty seven, whoever it was, and I'm like,
I was such a baby.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Oh I was.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I was. I was such a kid. I didn't know you, No,
I didn't know it.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
But it takes a lot of living to get this mature.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Yes, but also it also takes a lot of talking
about it, right, I mean a little like through the
show and we were talking with the Gentleman last night,
to Guy and Gary, it's like they learned a little bit.
They learned a little bit about themselves, and like this
next chapter that they're in right now, maybe they have
sharpened like what it is that they want and by
by going having to sit on a couch like this
and talk to us and say it over and over again,
(24:00):
it's important to you. What are your priorities and how
do you want to spend your life? Yeah, I think
it's I think it's good to talk it through.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It makes you think about the things that are important
instead of just like y're in your head and then
you forget about them when you know something comes up.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
The child raising years of the toughest you guys will
ever go through. Yeah yeah, and then you know health
comes at that period or later with yourself, with your parents,
with your loved ones. But it's just, I mean, you're
so active. I think you said three kids, yeah, yeah,
and you've got two too. I mean you're just active.
And men have this is my opinion. Men have evaulved
back in my dad's generation, there's a lot more divorce
(24:35):
and men are so much more active and raising kids
now than what they did. I trust me. I'm with
your psychotherapy on this.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
And it's just you are because I bet you guys
go to the soccer games, you go, you know, you
might even go to practice, but you're involved so much more.
And I think that's what's keeping people together.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, but it's tough.
Speaker 5 (24:51):
I mean, can we do it again?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Raise babies I love?
Speaker 5 (25:02):
Yeah, great, but it's just so much work.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I mean, could possibly be like I could probably honestly
say that those were the best times of my life.
I mean I felt such love and we had such
close friend groups. Because you're with your kids, friends, parents,
like all the time. You like, you formed these really
really close connections, so you feel very supportive and you're
all doing it together, which is really fun. But I
look back and I'm like, I had zero time for myself.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I don't think.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I don't think I got a facial or a massage
or like, I only think I got my nails done
for like ten years.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
She literally just said this morning she went to the
gym at six am, and I'm like, what are you doing.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
You have a chance to sleep.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
In now, granted, like you we got because and she's like,
I don't have a chance to do this at home.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
No, you know, I'm going to I'm going to go
to the.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Gym and when you guys go to golf, I'm gonna
lay in my bed until Hannah tells me not to.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
So two nights ago, or sorry, a few nights ago,
is driving my son back from soccer practice, like nine
thirty at night, and I'm enting, I'm like, it's dark
and late and I'm tired of work in the morning,
blah blah blah. And then he just said to me,
just nonchalantly, just said, well, dad, you know in two
months I get my license.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
And I literally like teared up and I couldn't breathe
for a second.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
I'm like, yes, it is encompassing. It does take all
your time. I you know, you know all those things,
but man, what it's gone. I'm gonna miss it because
it doesn't come back.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Because those car conversations are so valuable. You get the
best conversations because you're not eyed eye with them. You're
looking at the road and you can and they say
things to you that they would never say if you
were sitting across from them.
Speaker 5 (26:34):
Right, offer some advice, yes, drivers, and then pay for extrat.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Make it, make it long, because.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Sons don't want to listen to you. They don't let
somebody else teach them how to drive.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Yes, but that's a captive audience in the car is
you know, driving to tournaments and doing whatever else like,
and it's just you know, they're they're there and I
don't let them use their phone when in the car.
And it's so incredibly valuable. And when he said that,
I'm like, yep, this is a chapter that's closing. Yeah,
that child raising for you know, for him in that
period is that chapter is closing and it's not opening
(27:10):
back up against.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Chapters. And I went through that, especially with my son.
What was really neat is when he turned twenty one,
he and I went to a stake place and he
ordered to drink. Yeah, and it was just he's a man,
you know. And then he was in college and then
he just recently graduated and moved to North Carolina and
you miss him. But it's you know, they've got to
go live their life. They spread their wings and find
out who and what they want.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, and don't dread like like that. I hated, you know,
my kids learning how to drive and growing up and
going to college. But when they come back, like like
great humans and adults, they are really fun too to
have around. So like, like, my kids are my favorite
people to be around. So like, there'll be some like
sad moments for you when you take them off to college,
(27:56):
but they come back and it's really really fun.
Speaker 4 (27:59):
Then Yeah, well you're actually very optimistic that my kids
are going to get into cold.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
With the brains on both of those parents, I'm not
worried about you.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Well, you guys, thank you so much for joining us
at the Pebble Beach, the almost famous Pebble Beach outing.
Like we said, it's the seventeenth to Andrew, it's the
third for me. But we've had such a good time
with you guys, and I love you all be in here.
I've love getting to know you. I'm a big fan
of the two of you guys, and I just feel
like you're what you've done I think for this franchise
(28:34):
is next level because I think the authenticity of what
you guys do together is it speaks volumes way more
than you know, somebody else's track record of just rushing
to something and and you know, not getting there in.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
The proper way.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
So it's like, you know, I have no advice to
give other than you know, enjoy the ride because it's
always a fun one. And clearly if Andrew and I
are any indication, it'll go on for the next twenty
some years for you.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
So you made it. Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
But if I can ask one favor of your listeners, yes,
would you guys send me socks? I don't have socks.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
You guys take it away. You got you got Amy Sugarman,
Amy Sugar Talks.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Yeah, yeah, you guys seen Jones post about my sock.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No I didn't see it. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
So I go to his house for the first time
in Kansas, and he's like, I have like the this
sock issue. He goes, I hate like parrying my socks
after I wash them, so I just throw them into
a big container. He's actually like two containers, and I go, well,
bring them up, I'll do them. I spent two days,
like probably four or five hours each day pairing his socks,
(29:37):
and there were three hundred and forty six pairs.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm a sock man too. I've
got a ton.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, but do you pair them after you?
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Watch you for the most part. But we also have
a bin where you know the driving socks.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
I know where do they go.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
It's a pretty good sized bin. I'm not gonna lie.
I need you to come to our house. Well, I
do it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
It seems it's kind of therapeutic.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Actually, I'm shure. We thanks you guys. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
You guys, thank you for when to talk to us.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
That's too like, that's all right again you as well.
Almost famous d o g. We're going golfing.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Hm.
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Ben Higgins
Ashley Iaconetti
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