September 27, 2023 • 39 mins
We’re taking things WAY back with our Bachelor Nation OGs Bob Guiney and Trista Sutter! We’re hanging out with Amanda Marsh, who was the winner of the very first season of The Bachelor!
Find out Amanda’s reaction when her fellow finalist, Trista, reveals what happened during a phone call she had with Bachelor Alex Michel!
We get caught up on Amanda’s life after leaving the mansion, and she takes us back to the first few weeks of filming when no one knew what to expect!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the almost famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Welcome to you almost famous the Ogs. She's trust us,
Sutter nay Ren.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You pointed to Amanda on my screen.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yes, welcome to the show everybody. Now, as we have
been doing for quite some time now, just bringing you
a plus content every damn day that we do this.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And here we are again.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I am with literally the two ogs of the Ogs
that we've ever had on the show.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I don't think it gets any.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
More, not less Alex was here.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Exactly unless we had Alex Michelle, which that's never happened.
And that guy doesn't He's like the groundhog on Groundhog Day.
We only see him like once a year.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
You don't even see him that much, see that much.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
No, we don't see him that much.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
But I am with the two finalists from the very
first season that The Bachelor was ever on the air. Now,
I know it seems like a lot longer ago, but
it was only what it was a two thousand and two,
two thousand and one.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
What year was that that the season air?
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Two thousand and two, Yeah, two thousand and two, which
was a one time ago, kidding, it.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Was oddly enough, we did like sixteen shows that season
because I was also I was also the Bachelor, so
I did twist this season the Bachelor at that year,
and then two thousand and three, I was the fourth
Bachelor already, so I mean we were just packing it in.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Crazy.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
We have Amanda Caldwell, who at the time was known,
of course as Amanda marsh and Amanda you were the
winner of the first season of the Bachelor with Alex Michelle.
Welcome to the show, and thank you for joining us.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I know, what's exciting to see you both.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, it's so exciting. It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
How do you feel about being called a winner? I laughed.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
It reminds me of like, you know, when Charlie Sheen
said he was winning winning, don't we I mean, first
of all, what I want a man? And then I know, yeah,
definitely not a quality relationship either, and so.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Who knew? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
How long how long did you guys stay together? Actually, like,
how long were you after.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
The final To be honest, about a year?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Oh wow, okay, anticipated.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
It is Yeah, considering long distance and everything. Yeah, I
gave it a good go for about a year. No,
you know, we would keep in touch until maybe ten
years ago. Just kind of happy birthday emails? How are
(02:45):
you kind of you know, we were all in this
weird situation together, right, and as you get to know
someone and you realize, oh, some of us maybe weren't
as authentic as others during filming or now we're in
the real world, what are you really like? Yeah, but
(03:11):
there were I mean, no hard feelings. So there's just
this weird connection. I think all of us have, having
gone through this situation and so and then over time
it was just you know, what's there left to say?
And you kind of move on, and in a sense
it was a relationship, and so out of respect for
(03:31):
new relationships, you just.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Things.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, yeah, you almost you almost kind of have to.
I mean, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
On the other hand, you know, my ex girlfriend Trista
has been a part of my life ever since.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Toak it along.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, and her poor husband, who was my roommate on
the shell, he has to deal with.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Me like, okay, buddy, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Man?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I like that little puppy dog that just won't leave a.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Long Yeah, deal with us, because you're not easy to
deal with.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
That's rights acquired taste. I always say that about my wife.
I always go you know, she's an acquired taste. If
you don't like her, acquire some taste.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Well, I didn't watch all of Trista's season, but I
was curious, and I think Trista did a wonderful job.
I think, thank you, there was a lot of for me.
I think nerves are like, okay, how is a woman
gonna be presented represented in this situation? But I do
remember you, Bob.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
You were hilarious.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Yeah, it was so adorable and charming. So I think
that's awesome that you know you had your shot at
being a Bachelor as well.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Well, thank you, I got I got lucky.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You know, they Trista made sure they edited me nicely,
So yeah, I got lucky.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
There were.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
She's like, listen, I want you to read you that.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I want you read those, you know, two episodes he
made an appearance on Or However, was just kidding it.
So okay, Amanda, So you you go on the show.
First of all, I mean, this was such new news
back then. Right now, it's like it's in the Zeitgeace.
Everybody knows what the Bachelor is now, but back then,
no one knew what it was. How did you find
out about it. How did you end up on the show?
(05:21):
You know, and and all that good stuff.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Well, perfect timing maybe is how you can look at it.
I literally had the month before quit a job and
was unemployed, and my former sister in law, who was
one of my good friends, was living in California and
she was moving back to Kansas City to get married.
(05:45):
So I flew out to California, first time I had
ever been there. She picks me up from the airport
and we went to the promenade for lunch. And I'll
never forget because it's kind of embarrassing reflecting. I mean,
as you probably saw on the show, I wore a
lot of turtlenecks and I had one on and I
remember all that.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
It was a thing.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
It was a thing.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
It was early two thousands, for sure. But we were
having lunch and one of the producers came over to
our table and asked if we were single. And my
friend was engaged, but I was like, man, I'm single.
I got nothing going on. I had just moved into
one of my brother's houses with his family, so I
feeling really low. So I thought, well, okay, let's look
(06:31):
into this. But you know, being approached Hey, how about
this dating show? I thought, no, I mean, you're going
to fill me in a basement something smarty. And so
my boy friend had an agent and he said, no,
this this is a real show for ABC. So the fact,
you know, looking for love. Yes, I was single, but
(06:52):
it was more I get a break from Kansas and
I got not done but time and.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
An experience, right, a fun experience in la or whatever.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Now I know I know some of these answers of
Trista's experience, but of course I don't know them of yours.
So you get out of the limo, right, you don't
know who you're meeting, which was like my season was
so different because we knew we were meeting Trista. And
then when they made me the bachelor, the women knew
they were meeting me, right, So that so those were
both a little bit different. But you guys weren't really.
(07:26):
I mean, you guys are really coming out of the cocoon.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Right, You're like, you know, there's a butterfly. Yeah, it's like, okay,
who's this character?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
We're the whatever you are before. You're a butterfly like
a caterpillar.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yes, we're a.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Baby care a caterpillar.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
You're the guy.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
So you get out of the limo, you look at
Alex Michelle. Are you like, oh my god, this is
my guy? Or do you look at him and you're
kind of like, well, here we go. I mean I
had less to do with him and more to do
with you in that moment, probably like what was your experience?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Like, oh wait, wait, I have a follow up to that.
Did they show you a picture? Because I know they
showed me a picture, like during cast? Did they show
you a picture of him?
Speaker 4 (08:02):
They offered?
Speaker 5 (08:03):
So during casting they said, you know, we have a
photo and his bio. But I didn't want to know anything.
I mean, to be honest, I didn't really care. I'm
just here to get out of Kansas. As much as
I love Kansas City, I'm like, this is this is
just fun and now labou like what could go wrong?
(08:25):
So no, I didn't want to know. I wanted to
just authentically go into it. I kind of figured I
probably wouldn't like whoever it was anyway, right, I mean,
what are the chances?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Some of us have good chances, thank god, But so no,
And so.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Then when we got out of the limo, I mean
we were in there for hours, consuming a lot of champagne,
So I think anyone could look good at that point.
But there was not fireworks right at first. I mean,
all dark hair. I kind of thought, oh, but now
it took some time getting to know a little bit
(09:06):
more of his personality, so.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then once you did.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
I mean, did you genuinely start feeling like you were
falling in love with them?
Speaker 4 (09:17):
So that's a good question.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
And in the moment, I do think psychologically you get
wrapped up in this situation. I mean, I'm sure it
was all similar for our seasons where you're limited no
cell phone, no TV like, no magazines. All you have
is to talk about this main character. Yeah, and you're
(09:41):
being interviewed all day. And at least my season got
a lot of booze, which at twenty three I was
down for. So you know, over time, yes, you kind
of feel like, or at least I did, like he
is the last man on earth, so it's not so
(10:02):
much like I have to win, but you just become
a little bit more hungry for him. And yeah, and
I just think he was funny. I mean, there were moments,
you know, before our relationship carried on at least during
filming the limited exposure. Yeah, I thought we had some chemistry.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yeah, well, obviously I would hope that you wouldn't have
chemistry if you end up with you know, end up
with the person at the end of the show, you know,
like you have to have some chemistry.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
It was such an experiment though at that point, right
because the producers.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Didn't really even know what they were doing.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
I mean, they were still figuring it out when I
was the Bachelor, so I can only imagine at that
point of the process what they were, you know, how
they were dealing with things. I mean, you know, this
is just gonna you know, so we want them to
cry here, and I remember back then so much drama.
They were minding the drama hard, you know, like just
trying to get us to you know, cry or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And the booze didn't hurt, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Unfortunately with the guys that when Tristan was the Bachelorette,
you know, we we got along so great, and the
boos just get along even better. So I think we
were we almost went in the wrong direction. I almost
got kicked off the show behind the scenes because I
was having just too much fun. I mean, I remember
Face pulls me out of that time. He's like, you're
ruining Michelle. Relax, you guys don't have to be friends.
(11:24):
It like, I love these guys and I love her.
If this is just awesome.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I was just so happy to be there. Yeah, I
mean it was so great.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I mean, I am so thankful. I really don't keep
up with the show, but I am so thankful. I
know for our season, we all got along bonded. I
mean I laugh and often tell people who ask. I
mean I remember rooming with Shannon and helping each other
pick out.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Out but like the things, you know, doing care.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, she's such a great girl too. You guys, you
guys did have such great women on your season.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, we did wonderful.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
We were definitely like just trying to figure it out
and just kind of go with the flow and do
whatever because we had no guy.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
We had no idea God, but you no idea what
was happening, nothing to you know, uh model or shape
this after or protect ourselves from and that matter.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I think it was really genuine. Yes, we were.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Kind of led with questioning and good old editing, but
you know, trying to create some drama. I remember they
you know, went to my hometown, which I had not
lived in for you know, ten years, or not ten years.
I guess it would have been like five years. But
they wanted to take Alex to my dad's grave side,
(12:45):
and oh thank god, I was like able to just
say no and not you know, be forced upon that.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
I'm like, you, I can get that drama. Yeah, you know, even.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
When I will tell you that they didn't lose that
bag of tricks because even when I was the I'll
never forget going to Meredith's hometown and they they pull
in and we went to her grandma's gravesite, and I'm
I'm miked, I'm like, what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I don't I shouldn't be here. This is where I'm there,
you know, like this is.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
You know, yeah, it was like, you know that that
was a that was a good one. They went back
to the bag on with me. But I was actually,
you know, in retrospect now, I'm thankful that I you know,
if I if I had to have a genuine moment
with someone, that was one, you know, because because it
was you know, she it was.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Very fresh for her.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
It happened during our season, so but man, it was
it was one of those moments where I'm like, I'm
not I don't.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Think this is the right thing to do. It's a
TV show, you know. Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, do you feel like like nowadays, I feel like
a lot of people talk about how like they're edit
and especially with AI and stuff, I feel like there's
(13:59):
a lot of talk about how they can actually make
you say something that you never said. And I've always
been like of the thought process that you they can't
make you say something that you didn't say, But it
seems like because of AI they can possibly do that now.
(14:22):
I mean, I don't know the technology. I am not
a producer. I haven't been on the show in forever.
But was there ever a moment that you felt like
your words were twisted or you know that you said
something but because you know it's all in context too,
that you know you say something and it's taken out
(14:43):
of context. Was there ever a moment like that for
you that you remember. I mean, it was a long
time ago. I know, I was going to say that
it was a lot. I don't remember tomorrow or yesterday.
I don't remember tomorrow, but yeah, I do remember this
overall sense when watching the show kind of heartbroken and
(15:04):
let down. But it's really being nive that so much
was you know, either out of context or the timeframe.
So for example, I mean I remember the Rose ceremonies.
You hand them out, Okay, give them back everyone, get
back to your places. Retake, retake, and so a lot
of those facial expressions, you know, those looks or stairs
(15:28):
were not even targeted at that moment. It was just
really calculated with their editing. There were some moments where
I would share something and not realize, oh, this is
going to be aired. In particular, when we were in
the hotel room before the even first Rose ceremony, there
(15:52):
was discussion and you know, I was the sex pot.
Anything I said, that's all they wanted to air, is
all I am?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
The sex sex sex.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Yeah, like great, of course, and then you know the
fact that I was busted. He just puts it all
together for them.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
So you know that was a little old and annoying. Yeah,
but I did say what I said, so.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Like yeah, yeah, right, I mean I am who I am.
I said what I said, And I'll always tell everyone,
you know, be careful.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
What you say. It will be used against you.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Oh yeah, you know, and ever and ever.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Did they ever did you guys ever feel like the
two of you, did you ever feel like you were
being pitted against one another kind of like you know,
because I I know that that was a game they
tried to do from a production perspective as well, right,
they they always wanted it to steer one way and
then go the other way? Was that I mean, was
that ever something where you felt like you you might
have gone like don a rabbit hole you didn't want
to go, and you know, I mean I could imagine
(16:50):
it was. It was a ratings juggernaut for for them,
so they probably really wanted to play that up.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You know, I don't remember ever being pitted, you know, I.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
Feel like they were.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I feel like they were legitimately there just in the background.
Was my like kind of take on what I remember
from the first season is just they were there. Obviously
when you go into your itms, they're asking you questions
and that kind of thing. But at that point in time,
I don't know that it was as like cutthroat, if
(17:24):
you will, as it is now where they really figure
out like something that drives everyone crazy and they just
like keep digging and digging and digging do you know
what I mean? But I don't feel like there was
We really truly got along, all of us really well.
I felt like and until they like separate you and
(17:47):
you go into your I think it was hometowns or
like right before hometowns that you go to your Like
each of us had a separate hotel that we stayed at.
We weren't even at the same hotel. I don't know,
oh for you, yeah, but we were at different house.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't think they pitted
us against each other, which is what I think was
so beautiful about it, because I mean I grew up
with three older brothers, so going in and I didn't
even stay in the sorority, like it was too much
for me. So going into this was just a whole
bunch of women, I thought, oh my god, But I
really liked everyone. No, I don't think Tristan and I
(18:25):
got to know each other really well, but I kind
of had, you know, kind of groups. I felt like
we were always with. But there was never any bad feelings.
I never thought of either one of us as like
competition or a threat. I mean, you like who you like,
you know. Afterwards, I think it people want that they
(18:47):
want that competition and to pick sides, which fine. But
I love that we all kind of looked after each
other because I remember Trista after the show, a few
of us would talk to each other, like if we
had interviews and there were people claiming to know me,
and you know, you check in with each other, and
I you know, I just appreciated that you know so much,
(19:10):
that we all had that bond and one of the
best for each other.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I think, yeah, that's awesome. Do you, Amanda, do you
know like what happened after uh, like after the rose ceremony?
For me, do you know what happened? Like have you
heard the stories?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
No?
Speaker 4 (19:35):
I mean and.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Based on like I was a part of, and I'm like, oh,
it's told me. And then I remember when we watched
if it was on if they aired this, or when
I worked at a radio station. The program director thought
it was funny and gave me the DVD for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
And I watched once.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
I I can't remember. It was like an added ending
where he called you at the end.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Of right, That's what I was asking about. So at
the end, at the end of the rose ceremony, well,
like maybe it was that night I was talking to
Levinson and I'm like, this is just weird. Like if
you break up with somebody, you usually have the ability
to like get closure and actually know why and like
(20:30):
have an extended conversation. And I was the first to
really get down to the end and be like I
fully expected him to propose to me because he had
told me that two nights ago. I point blank asked him,
who would you choose if you had to choose now?
And clearly he was gonna say me because he was
totally being put on the spot by me. Yes, but
(20:53):
I I point blake asked him, who are you gonna?
Are you gonna get engaged in?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Who?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Who would you ask right now? This is two days before?
And he's like you. So I fully went into the
Rose ceremony thinking I was getting engaged and then and
then he says, you know, it's not you, And I
was like, I walked away and I was like in
the limo saying, oh, I'm I'm sad, but I'll be fine,
you know, like it's it's okay, I'm just sad. And
(21:21):
and then I talked to Levinson later that night and
I was like, this is just weird, like I don't
get to talk to him about why, like why did
you change his mind? And it's not me? And I
fully expected to get engaged and why am I not
engaged and what like why just the big why you know? Closure?
And she was I was like, is there any way
(21:42):
I can talk to him because I just want to know,
like just tell them please. If Amanda's your girl, then great,
and you you made that up and you told me
that you were going to pick me awesome. I wish
you guys all the best, but just tell me what
the hell happened, like what was going on? And so
she was like, let me, let me call around and
(22:02):
see if there's something we can do. So they got
us on the phone, and during the phone call, he
told me he thought he made a mistake and then
he wanted to come over to my hotel room and
they were like, Nope, not happening. And at that point too,
I was like, no, I don't know if we should
go that far. I just wanted to know what happened.
(22:24):
I don't know that. I don't know that now that
you've chosen somebody else that I really want to do stuff,
but it or move forward with like stuff, but but
I just I just wanted to know. Anyway, they they
put that kobash on that real quick because they were like,
we don't want to have to go back and film, right,
So anyway, I just didn't know if you knew that
(22:47):
that phone call and that statement literally he said, I
think I may have made a mistake to me, which
is why afterwards I go home and I'm like, crap,
Like this guy I told like, I liked this guy.
I wasn't in love with him, but I liked him,
and I was like, he told me he made a mistake,
Like what do I do with that?
Speaker 4 (23:08):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Anyway, I.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
Had a few theories about especially as I got to
know the type of person he was. Later, so one
I was asked when we were down to the final
three and then the final two, if I'd ever be
a bachelorette, and at that time, not knowing what that
(23:34):
could look like, I was a little terrified of how
that might appear back in those days, and with already
in my oversharing and already with my history of relationships,
I didn't want it to look like I take love lightly,
And so I instantly said no, like no way. I
(23:55):
could never see myself doing that, which again came off
beautiful and all of that, but just the unknown, you know,
freaked me out, and so from a protective standpoint, I
was like, no way. So then a part of me
wondered if they had asked you and if you were like, yes,
(24:17):
you know, whether you liked him or not, if that
was ever something you do, and so that kind of
help ass me until they didn't finale aired. Oh okay,
so I kind of wondered if that was in the air,
and then I mean, of course he's going to state
you because you did ask of course I was going
to have his ball cinched and.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Was like, oh yeah, I mean, but if he was
being honest, he could have been like, honestly, I don't know, yeah,
I got a wait and see. Two days is a
big amount of time in this like short little pressure
cooker that you're in.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
He could have.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Totally said I I don't know, I like you both,
or you know.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I think he was very aware of anyone's feelings but
his own, which they learned throughout the year. But the
you know fact that if you watch the Vice documentary,
neither one of us were his first pick for many episodes,
(25:24):
although we got the first roses with influence.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
I never knew that, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Alex, I don't even know what you're talking about. What's
this vice document?
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Yeah, So all the producers that were on our show
that were really active, and you probably remember them if
you see it. Alex, we were not his top two
picks or maybe even in the top five. And he
really liked Kimberly and Kathy and so I do remember
(25:57):
Mike like the Blonde, and they kept kind of inserting
us and because we had backgrounds and personalities and they
wanted more airtime for us. So that was shocking a
little bit too. And I mean, I know there's a manipulation,
but in that moment, when you know we're twenty three,
(26:19):
nothing had ever been done like this. I really didn't
think there was so much manipulation, not having any Hollywood experience.
So even though I don't think Alex was very true
to anyone, you know, I feel good.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
I'm sure you were.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
You know, I was true to myself and my feelings,
and so at least I can sleep about that. But yeah,
I mean, do you remember the email that came out
that he and the company tried to shoot down that
he sent to friends saying, yeah, well Amanda is a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Fatter than Trista, but he did not.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Yes, that came out like in the news, and he
was saying, no, I never had to have been hacked.
I never would have said something like that. Well, I
received from an anonymous source a whole bunch of emails
about him talking about high school girls, and they were
also very really damaging words, and so it just began
(27:23):
to grow that, oh my gosh, this is.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
When you guys were together. Yeah, and that's when things
were ending. I mean, PROBABLYS want to say, you know,
it's because I found out you guys still talked or
slept together, which I mean, I do think you should
have shared that in a relationship.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
He should have kind of disclosed a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
We were still talking, for sure. I mean, yeah, we
were writing. Just because of where I was coming from.
I was like, I if I can write a letter,
and that was all we had at the time. You know,
we didn't exchange FO numbers. Yeah, so I would write
him a letter and most of them I didn't send.
And then I remember he sent one back and he's
(28:05):
like something about leaving a door open or something. And
at that point, I was kind of like I just
wanted closure, Like I just wanted to know that you're
good with Amanda. Like I don't need to move forward,
but I just in that moment, I just needed to
be able to like, you know, like absolutely know what
(28:25):
he what was going through his head when he told
me certain things.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I feel like, Amanda, you you have you done a
lot of therapy over the years, because you are so
well adjusted about all this kind of stuff, Like I mean,
you're just like you know, and it was just an
experience and I'm okay, I love it because I mean
I talked to some people who, you know, twenty years
ago and they're still they're still pissed off about you know,
someone cutting them off in the in the in the
grocery store parking. Yeah, you're just like, you know, I
(29:01):
started realizing who he was and I was okay with
leg Go.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
I mean it was hard, you guys, I mean it
was hard. And yes, I mean right after the show finished,
we were totally dropped, like our relationship by support. We
were just ghosted, and really I did not know what
(29:25):
to do with myself, you know. I tried to live
in California. I couldn't figure out career wise what I
should do. I kind of felt like there was this
expectation since I had been on TV. I was really
turned off with Hollywood, having gone to some events and
meeting like Alex instantly jumped on that bat bandwagon, and
(29:46):
it just was not authentic.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
What I was around.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
And so when I got the job offer to be
a DJ at a radio station and be on the
morning show, I was like, absolutely no place like home.
Get me out of here. I had trouble, I, you know,
started having panic attacks. Alex would come visit and we'd
go to a mall and I remember the first one.
We were on our way to the movie and I
(30:12):
had to get in a corridor and I just was
blacking out, couldn't breathe didn't know what was happening, and
so panic attacks, depression. There was not a lot of
social media, but there was enough out there about we
have five eight. I had triple D breasts at the time,
and you know, a size four six, which isn't huge.
(30:33):
I still am not size, but I mean I was
body shamed, and so I got on antidepressants and I
did I had years of therapy you.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Know, I want to say something about that.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
I mean, I can actually, you know, relate a little
bit to that, because when I was on Tristas season,
you know, I was a little heavier than I'd been
previously in my life because I played sports and everything.
And I remember I was the funny fat guy everywhere
I went, and I was like, what.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
The hell are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (31:01):
You know, and so it was kind of it was
one of those things where I know that could be
really difficult. I went through it too, and so I
can only imagine how that had to feel as a
as a beautiful woman. You know, my I guess my
revenge in my head, not that I need revenge, but
everyone would always come up and go, oh my god,
you're not fat, and I'm like, yeah, thanks, So I'm
(31:21):
glad four people out in front of you know, pat
Son tell me that when you know, three million viewers
think I'm a pig. But it was like, I get
I get that that could be really hard, you know,
and so yeah, good.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Good for you.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
You look so much better in person.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Oh yeah, I get that. I still get that one. Yeah,
I still get that one.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
No, it was hard, but I you know, I think
there was a lot even behind that. I mean, losing
my dad at the age of twelve, I think, abandonment,
the whole bunch of development issues I had to deal with.
I had been bullied because I had some breast development
is shoes when I was growing up. I mean, there's
(32:01):
so much more to my past, like all of us,
that makes us so we are. And then I was
in this very vulnerable situation without really any safety net,
so how to find it, which I did, And then
you know, with my career, I mean that is my
ultimate goal. I work in healthcare and dermatology and to
(32:25):
get the trust of these patients who come in and
have to gawn up so I can scan their body
for skin cancer, make sure they're comfortable, help them love themselves.
I mean it's so rewarding.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Well good for you, I mean you definitely you can
tell you've I'd never have known you before, obviously, I
think I think we've had that once.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I think a long long time ago. But I was
I was going to say, you.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Know, it had to be so interesting because coming off
of that experience, I mean again, you were both groundbreaking
and everything you're doing as was Alex, and I think
you know, it's one of those things. It definitely made
the path for people who came after you that much easier,
but it didn't make it easier for you all going
through it, and so I can only imagine, you know,
(33:09):
I think, you know, good for you dealing with it
and taking it head on and turning it all into
a positive.
Speaker 5 (33:14):
I mean, that's wonderful, you know, Tristan, I always laugh,
what did you think? Which this is a compliment because
I think it's a very flattering position to have had.
But with your degree and they listed you as a
Miami heat dancer versus having had you were.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Talking about how you were the sex spot. I'm like,
I was the dancer. That was me.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
We were all one dimensional characters back then, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I yeah, whatever, it was, what it was. I was like, yeah,
that's part of me. But I tried to talk about
being a physical therapist as much as possible and hope
that that was sick.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
It wasn't like we were, you know, creating websites or
having and Instagram you know, presence or whatever. So no,
it is interesting that they latch onto that kind of stuff.
But that's always I mean, it is in the end
it's a television show and they're trying to get people
to watch. And you know, even though I think it's
(34:16):
really cool to be smart and have other qualities of
all physicality.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Yes, yes, you can have brains and be hot.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You know, I think what a lot of people don't
realize is that's how I I originally captured Trista's heart
was I too was a dancer, and when I came
on the show, The Running Man, the Irish, both of
those moves, both of those moves, you know, really caught
her attention because of her dance background. So I mean
I could have come in, I could have come in
(34:47):
and like tried to do you know, some strengthening exercises
as a physical therapist, would also enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
But that I knew my way in, I knew it.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
You were totally memorable, Darling.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Darling, you yeah, thank you, very very sweet, very sweet
to say that.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Well, thank you very much for being on the show
with us, and being a part of this. I mean,
you know, Tristan and I when we were first starting
this thing off, this is exactly what we wanted was
to have, you know, people who really were on it
in the very beginning who had these experiences and you know,
now it's a totally different beast, right, but back then
things were a little simpler, probably a little more complicated
(35:27):
in certain ways, I guess, just because of the fact
that we didn't know what we were getting into. But
it was such a pleasure having you on and thank
you for being a part of the show with us.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
I love getting to see you both.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
Yeah, it was so nice, and I think it also
was really hopeful, like with Trista, to be able to
talk and kind of have closure about that time in
our life as well.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
So nice that we're all doing great.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
It's right, we are.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
We are.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Congratulations on your family and your marriage and everything else.
And thank you again so much for joining us, and
have a one wonderful rest of your day.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
Thank I got You're welcome. Take care, bye bye, oh bye.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That was awesome.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I love that. And you know, it did seem like
you guys got a chance to kind of connect on
some things that may have been you know, sticking points
for a while, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I mean I wonder if you know, I mean, I
really don't ever think about Alex. I mean, it was
a long time ago and I have been happily married
for almost twenty years in a few months, so like,
I don't think about them. But when her name popped
(36:41):
up as as coming on the podcast, I was like, oh, well,
I wonder how this is gonna go Like does she
feel like for some reason? I think I think I
read about how you know, she blamed me for their breakup,
and obviously she's happily married and you know, a mother,
(37:03):
and you know, she has a whole different life, so
I would think that, you know, it wouldn't. Oh, she
just texted me big hugs to you and Bob oh awesome,
So I you know, I was I was like, oh gosh, like,
how is this going to go down? Is she gonna
you know, does she still like think that?
Speaker 4 (37:26):
So?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I think she was probably saying she was thanking you
for their breakup. I'm just kidding, just kidding. That's that's
the kind of line I always throw out there, and
whenever someone brings up a Stella, I'm like, oh, trust me,
she's lucky she got away from this disaster. But no,
I feel like, you know, I think, like time in
space from anything gives you such a different perspective in life, right,
(37:47):
I mean, here we are. You know, you and I.
I mean, I always knew we'd be friends forever. I
knew that from the second we met. But it's one
of those things like you look at you look at
this history, and a lot of people, you know, didn't
didn't get the type of treatment that you and I
both got from Bachelor Nation and everything else.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
A lot of people went.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Through different experiences, and so they almost like separate themselves
as far as they can from the whole experience. And
and I think, you know, that's that's something that you know,
she kind of went through it, and she was the winner,
so to speak. And then it's like, you know, and
she's also the one that's maybe in a relationship that
isn't what she wants, but she feels like the pressure she.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Has to stay in it and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I mean, I wish I would have even asked her that,
but I just feel like it's one of those things
that I think she seems like a really I meant
what I said, like, she seems like she's definitely dealt
with not just this, but with everything.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
You know, you're right, because that's hard, like being on
the first show and having to come out, and she
you know, she kind of alluded to the fact that
she was they were ghosted, you know, they they were
just Okay, you guys go on about your happy life
and we're going to continue to do stuff. And she
didn't feel supported. So that's hard, especially with getting kind
(38:57):
of not kind of but bullied like on you know,
on the internet through the message boards. Anyway, we gotta go,
we gotta wrap. Thank you everybody for listening in. We
love our AFO G podcast And until next time. He's
Bob Guiney.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
She is Trista Sutter nay Wren. Hi, everybody, he's out.
This is the almost famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Everybody.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Welcome to you almost famous the Ogs. She's trust us,
Sutter nay Ren.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You pointed to Amanda on my screen.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yes, welcome to the show everybody. Now, as we have
been doing for quite some time now, just bringing you
a plus content every damn day that we do this.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
And here we are again.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I am with literally the two ogs of the Ogs
that we've ever had on the show.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I don't think it gets any.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
More, not less Alex was here.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Exactly unless we had Alex Michelle, which that's never happened.
And that guy doesn't He's like the groundhog on Groundhog Day.
We only see him like once a year.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
You don't even see him that much, see that much.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
No, we don't see him that much.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
But I am with the two finalists from the very
first season that The Bachelor was ever on the air. Now,
I know it seems like a lot longer ago, but
it was only what it was a two thousand and two,
two thousand and one.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
What year was that that the season air?
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Two thousand and two, Yeah, two thousand and two, which
was a one time ago, kidding, it.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Was oddly enough, we did like sixteen shows that season
because I was also I was also the Bachelor, so
I did twist this season the Bachelor at that year,
and then two thousand and three, I was the fourth
Bachelor already, so I mean we were just packing it in.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Crazy.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
We have Amanda Caldwell, who at the time was known,
of course as Amanda marsh and Amanda you were the
winner of the first season of the Bachelor with Alex Michelle.
Welcome to the show, and thank you for joining us.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I know, what's exciting to see you both.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, it's so exciting. It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
How do you feel about being called a winner? I laughed.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
It reminds me of like, you know, when Charlie Sheen
said he was winning winning, don't we I mean, first
of all, what I want a man? And then I know, yeah,
definitely not a quality relationship either, and so.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Who knew? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
How long how long did you guys stay together? Actually, like,
how long were you after.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
The final To be honest, about a year?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Oh wow, okay, anticipated.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
It is Yeah, considering long distance and everything. Yeah, I
gave it a good go for about a year. No,
you know, we would keep in touch until maybe ten
years ago. Just kind of happy birthday emails? How are
(02:45):
you kind of you know, we were all in this
weird situation together, right, and as you get to know
someone and you realize, oh, some of us maybe weren't
as authentic as others during filming or now we're in
the real world, what are you really like? Yeah, but
(03:11):
there were I mean, no hard feelings. So there's just
this weird connection. I think all of us have, having
gone through this situation and so and then over time
it was just you know, what's there left to say?
And you kind of move on, and in a sense
it was a relationship, and so out of respect for
(03:31):
new relationships, you just.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Things.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah, yeah, you almost you almost kind of have to.
I mean, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
On the other hand, you know, my ex girlfriend Trista
has been a part of my life ever since.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Toak it along.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, and her poor husband, who was my roommate on
the shell, he has to deal with.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Me like, okay, buddy, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Man?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I like that little puppy dog that just won't leave a.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Long Yeah, deal with us, because you're not easy to
deal with.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
That's rights acquired taste. I always say that about my wife.
I always go you know, she's an acquired taste. If
you don't like her, acquire some taste.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Well, I didn't watch all of Trista's season, but I
was curious, and I think Trista did a wonderful job.
I think, thank you, there was a lot of for me.
I think nerves are like, okay, how is a woman
gonna be presented represented in this situation? But I do
remember you, Bob.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
You were hilarious.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
Yeah, it was so adorable and charming. So I think
that's awesome that you know you had your shot at
being a Bachelor as well.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Well, thank you, I got I got lucky.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You know, they Trista made sure they edited me nicely,
So yeah, I got lucky.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
There were.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
She's like, listen, I want you to read you that.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I want you read those, you know, two episodes he
made an appearance on Or However, was just kidding it.
So okay, Amanda, So you you go on the show.
First of all, I mean, this was such new news
back then. Right now, it's like it's in the Zeitgeace.
Everybody knows what the Bachelor is now, but back then,
no one knew what it was. How did you find
out about it. How did you end up on the show?
(05:21):
You know, and and all that good stuff.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Well, perfect timing maybe is how you can look at it.
I literally had the month before quit a job and
was unemployed, and my former sister in law, who was
one of my good friends, was living in California and
she was moving back to Kansas City to get married.
(05:45):
So I flew out to California, first time I had
ever been there. She picks me up from the airport
and we went to the promenade for lunch. And I'll
never forget because it's kind of embarrassing reflecting. I mean,
as you probably saw on the show, I wore a
lot of turtlenecks and I had one on and I
remember all that.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
It was a thing.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
It was a thing.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
It was early two thousands, for sure. But we were
having lunch and one of the producers came over to
our table and asked if we were single. And my
friend was engaged, but I was like, man, I'm single.
I got nothing going on. I had just moved into
one of my brother's houses with his family, so I
feeling really low. So I thought, well, okay, let's look
(06:31):
into this. But you know, being approached Hey, how about
this dating show? I thought, no, I mean, you're going
to fill me in a basement something smarty. And so
my boy friend had an agent and he said, no,
this this is a real show for ABC. So the fact,
you know, looking for love. Yes, I was single, but
(06:52):
it was more I get a break from Kansas and
I got not done but time and.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
An experience, right, a fun experience in la or whatever.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Now I know I know some of these answers of
Trista's experience, but of course I don't know them of yours.
So you get out of the limo, right, you don't
know who you're meeting, which was like my season was
so different because we knew we were meeting Trista. And
then when they made me the bachelor, the women knew
they were meeting me, right, So that so those were
both a little bit different. But you guys weren't really.
(07:26):
I mean, you guys are really coming out of the cocoon.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Right, You're like, you know, there's a butterfly. Yeah, it's like, okay,
who's this character?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
We're the whatever you are before. You're a butterfly like
a caterpillar.
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Yes, we're a.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Baby care a caterpillar.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
You're the guy.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
So you get out of the limo, you look at
Alex Michelle. Are you like, oh my god, this is
my guy? Or do you look at him and you're
kind of like, well, here we go. I mean I
had less to do with him and more to do
with you in that moment, probably like what was your experience?
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Like, oh wait, wait, I have a follow up to that.
Did they show you a picture? Because I know they
showed me a picture, like during cast? Did they show
you a picture of him?
Speaker 4 (08:02):
They offered?
Speaker 5 (08:03):
So during casting they said, you know, we have a
photo and his bio. But I didn't want to know anything.
I mean, to be honest, I didn't really care. I'm
just here to get out of Kansas. As much as
I love Kansas City, I'm like, this is this is
just fun and now labou like what could go wrong?
(08:25):
So no, I didn't want to know. I wanted to
just authentically go into it. I kind of figured I
probably wouldn't like whoever it was anyway, right, I mean,
what are the chances?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Some of us have good chances, thank god, But so no,
And so.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Then when we got out of the limo, I mean
we were in there for hours, consuming a lot of champagne,
So I think anyone could look good at that point.
But there was not fireworks right at first. I mean,
all dark hair. I kind of thought, oh, but now
it took some time getting to know a little bit
(09:06):
more of his personality, so.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then once you did.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
I mean, did you genuinely start feeling like you were
falling in love with them?
Speaker 4 (09:17):
So that's a good question.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
And in the moment, I do think psychologically you get
wrapped up in this situation. I mean, I'm sure it
was all similar for our seasons where you're limited no
cell phone, no TV like, no magazines. All you have
is to talk about this main character. Yeah, and you're
(09:41):
being interviewed all day. And at least my season got
a lot of booze, which at twenty three I was
down for. So you know, over time, yes, you kind
of feel like, or at least I did, like he
is the last man on earth, so it's not so
(10:02):
much like I have to win, but you just become
a little bit more hungry for him. And yeah, and
I just think he was funny. I mean, there were moments,
you know, before our relationship carried on at least during
filming the limited exposure. Yeah, I thought we had some chemistry.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Yeah, well, obviously I would hope that you wouldn't have
chemistry if you end up with you know, end up
with the person at the end of the show, you know,
like you have to have some chemistry.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
It was such an experiment though at that point, right
because the producers.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Didn't really even know what they were doing.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
I mean, they were still figuring it out when I
was the Bachelor, so I can only imagine at that
point of the process what they were, you know, how
they were dealing with things. I mean, you know, this
is just gonna you know, so we want them to
cry here, and I remember back then so much drama.
They were minding the drama hard, you know, like just
trying to get us to you know, cry or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And the booze didn't hurt, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Unfortunately with the guys that when Tristan was the Bachelorette,
you know, we we got along so great, and the
boos just get along even better. So I think we
were we almost went in the wrong direction. I almost
got kicked off the show behind the scenes because I
was having just too much fun. I mean, I remember
Face pulls me out of that time. He's like, you're
ruining Michelle. Relax, you guys don't have to be friends.
(11:24):
It like, I love these guys and I love her.
If this is just awesome.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I was just so happy to be there. Yeah, I
mean it was so great.
Speaker 5 (11:33):
I mean, I am so thankful. I really don't keep
up with the show, but I am so thankful. I
know for our season, we all got along bonded. I
mean I laugh and often tell people who ask. I
mean I remember rooming with Shannon and helping each other
pick out.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Out but like the things, you know, doing care.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, she's such a great girl too. You guys, you
guys did have such great women on your season.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, we did wonderful.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
We were definitely like just trying to figure it out
and just kind of go with the flow and do
whatever because we had no guy.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
We had no idea God, but you no idea what
was happening, nothing to you know, uh model or shape
this after or protect ourselves from and that matter.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
I think it was really genuine. Yes, we were.
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Kind of led with questioning and good old editing, but
you know, trying to create some drama. I remember they
you know, went to my hometown, which I had not
lived in for you know, ten years, or not ten years.
I guess it would have been like five years. But
they wanted to take Alex to my dad's grave side,
(12:45):
and oh thank god, I was like able to just
say no and not you know, be forced upon that.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
I'm like, you, I can get that drama. Yeah, you know, even.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
When I will tell you that they didn't lose that
bag of tricks because even when I was the I'll
never forget going to Meredith's hometown and they they pull
in and we went to her grandma's gravesite, and I'm
I'm miked, I'm like, what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I don't I shouldn't be here. This is where I'm there,
you know, like this is.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
You know, yeah, it was like, you know that that
was a that was a good one. They went back
to the bag on with me. But I was actually,
you know, in retrospect now, I'm thankful that I you know,
if I if I had to have a genuine moment
with someone, that was one, you know, because because it
was you know, she it was.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Very fresh for her.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
It happened during our season, so but man, it was
it was one of those moments where I'm like, I'm
not I don't.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Think this is the right thing to do. It's a
TV show, you know. Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah, do you feel like like nowadays, I feel like
a lot of people talk about how like they're edit
and especially with AI and stuff, I feel like there's
(13:59):
a lot of talk about how they can actually make
you say something that you never said. And I've always
been like of the thought process that you they can't
make you say something that you didn't say, But it
seems like because of AI they can possibly do that now.
(14:22):
I mean, I don't know the technology. I am not
a producer. I haven't been on the show in forever.
But was there ever a moment that you felt like
your words were twisted or you know that you said
something but because you know it's all in context too,
that you know you say something and it's taken out
(14:43):
of context. Was there ever a moment like that for
you that you remember. I mean, it was a long
time ago. I know, I was going to say that
it was a lot. I don't remember tomorrow or yesterday.
I don't remember tomorrow, but yeah, I do remember this
overall sense when watching the show kind of heartbroken and
(15:04):
let down. But it's really being nive that so much
was you know, either out of context or the timeframe.
So for example, I mean I remember the Rose ceremonies.
You hand them out, Okay, give them back everyone, get
back to your places. Retake, retake, and so a lot
of those facial expressions, you know, those looks or stairs
(15:28):
were not even targeted at that moment. It was just
really calculated with their editing. There were some moments where
I would share something and not realize, oh, this is
going to be aired. In particular, when we were in
the hotel room before the even first Rose ceremony, there
(15:52):
was discussion and you know, I was the sex pot.
Anything I said, that's all they wanted to air, is
all I am?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
The sex sex sex.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
Yeah, like great, of course, and then you know the
fact that I was busted. He just puts it all
together for them.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
So you know that was a little old and annoying. Yeah,
but I did say what I said, so.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Like yeah, yeah, right, I mean I am who I am.
I said what I said, And I'll always tell everyone,
you know, be careful.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
What you say. It will be used against you.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Oh yeah, you know, and ever and ever.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Did they ever did you guys ever feel like the
two of you, did you ever feel like you were
being pitted against one another kind of like you know,
because I I know that that was a game they
tried to do from a production perspective as well, right,
they they always wanted it to steer one way and
then go the other way? Was that I mean, was
that ever something where you felt like you you might
have gone like don a rabbit hole you didn't want
to go, and you know, I mean I could imagine
(16:50):
it was. It was a ratings juggernaut for for them,
so they probably really wanted to play that up.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You know, I don't remember ever being pitted, you know, I.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
Feel like they were.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I feel like they were legitimately there just in the background.
Was my like kind of take on what I remember
from the first season is just they were there. Obviously
when you go into your itms, they're asking you questions
and that kind of thing. But at that point in time,
I don't know that it was as like cutthroat, if
(17:24):
you will, as it is now where they really figure
out like something that drives everyone crazy and they just
like keep digging and digging and digging do you know
what I mean? But I don't feel like there was
We really truly got along, all of us really well.
I felt like and until they like separate you and
(17:47):
you go into your I think it was hometowns or
like right before hometowns that you go to your Like
each of us had a separate hotel that we stayed at.
We weren't even at the same hotel. I don't know,
oh for you, yeah, but we were at different house.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't think they pitted
us against each other, which is what I think was
so beautiful about it, because I mean I grew up
with three older brothers, so going in and I didn't
even stay in the sorority, like it was too much
for me. So going into this was just a whole
bunch of women, I thought, oh my god, But I
really liked everyone. No, I don't think Tristan and I
(18:25):
got to know each other really well, but I kind
of had, you know, kind of groups. I felt like
we were always with. But there was never any bad feelings.
I never thought of either one of us as like
competition or a threat. I mean, you like who you like,
you know. Afterwards, I think it people want that they
(18:47):
want that competition and to pick sides, which fine. But
I love that we all kind of looked after each
other because I remember Trista after the show, a few
of us would talk to each other, like if we
had interviews and there were people claiming to know me,
and you know, you check in with each other, and
I you know, I just appreciated that you know so much,
(19:10):
that we all had that bond and one of the
best for each other.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I think, yeah, that's awesome. Do you, Amanda, do you
know like what happened after uh, like after the rose ceremony?
For me, do you know what happened? Like have you
heard the stories?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
No?
Speaker 4 (19:35):
I mean and.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Based on like I was a part of, and I'm like, oh,
it's told me. And then I remember when we watched
if it was on if they aired this, or when
I worked at a radio station. The program director thought
it was funny and gave me the DVD for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
And I watched once.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
I I can't remember. It was like an added ending
where he called you at the end.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Of right, That's what I was asking about. So at
the end, at the end of the rose ceremony, well,
like maybe it was that night I was talking to
Levinson and I'm like, this is just weird. Like if
you break up with somebody, you usually have the ability
to like get closure and actually know why and like
(20:30):
have an extended conversation. And I was the first to
really get down to the end and be like I
fully expected him to propose to me because he had
told me that two nights ago. I point blank asked him,
who would you choose if you had to choose now?
And clearly he was gonna say me because he was
totally being put on the spot by me. Yes, but
(20:53):
I I point blake asked him, who are you gonna?
Are you gonna get engaged in?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
Who?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Who would you ask right now? This is two days before?
And he's like you. So I fully went into the
Rose ceremony thinking I was getting engaged and then and
then he says, you know, it's not you, And I
was like, I walked away and I was like in
the limo saying, oh, I'm I'm sad, but I'll be fine,
you know, like it's it's okay, I'm just sad. And
(21:21):
and then I talked to Levinson later that night and
I was like, this is just weird, like I don't
get to talk to him about why, like why did
you change his mind? And it's not me? And I
fully expected to get engaged and why am I not
engaged and what like why just the big why you know? Closure?
And she was I was like, is there any way
(21:42):
I can talk to him because I just want to know,
like just tell them please. If Amanda's your girl, then great,
and you you made that up and you told me
that you were going to pick me awesome. I wish
you guys all the best, but just tell me what
the hell happened, like what was going on? And so
she was like, let me, let me call around and
(22:02):
see if there's something we can do. So they got
us on the phone, and during the phone call, he
told me he thought he made a mistake and then
he wanted to come over to my hotel room and
they were like, Nope, not happening. And at that point too,
I was like, no, I don't know if we should
go that far. I just wanted to know what happened.
(22:24):
I don't know that. I don't know that now that
you've chosen somebody else that I really want to do stuff,
but it or move forward with like stuff, but but
I just I just wanted to know. Anyway, they they
put that kobash on that real quick because they were like,
we don't want to have to go back and film, right,
So anyway, I just didn't know if you knew that
(22:47):
that phone call and that statement literally he said, I
think I may have made a mistake to me, which
is why afterwards I go home and I'm like, crap,
Like this guy I told like, I liked this guy.
I wasn't in love with him, but I liked him,
and I was like, he told me he made a mistake,
Like what do I do with that?
Speaker 4 (23:08):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Anyway, I.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
Had a few theories about especially as I got to
know the type of person he was. Later, so one
I was asked when we were down to the final
three and then the final two, if I'd ever be
a bachelorette, and at that time, not knowing what that
(23:34):
could look like, I was a little terrified of how
that might appear back in those days, and with already
in my oversharing and already with my history of relationships,
I didn't want it to look like I take love lightly,
And so I instantly said no, like no way. I
(23:55):
could never see myself doing that, which again came off
beautiful and all of that, but just the unknown, you know,
freaked me out, and so from a protective standpoint, I
was like, no way. So then a part of me
wondered if they had asked you and if you were like, yes,
(24:17):
you know, whether you liked him or not, if that
was ever something you do, and so that kind of
help ass me until they didn't finale aired. Oh okay,
so I kind of wondered if that was in the air,
and then I mean, of course he's going to state
you because you did ask of course I was going
to have his ball cinched and.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Was like, oh yeah, I mean, but if he was
being honest, he could have been like, honestly, I don't know, yeah,
I got a wait and see. Two days is a
big amount of time in this like short little pressure
cooker that you're in.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
He could have.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Totally said I I don't know, I like you both,
or you know.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I think he was very aware of anyone's feelings but
his own, which they learned throughout the year. But the
you know fact that if you watch the Vice documentary,
neither one of us were his first pick for many episodes,
(25:24):
although we got the first roses with influence.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
I never knew that, you know.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Alex, I don't even know what you're talking about. What's
this vice document?
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Yeah, So all the producers that were on our show
that were really active, and you probably remember them if
you see it. Alex, we were not his top two
picks or maybe even in the top five. And he
really liked Kimberly and Kathy and so I do remember
(25:57):
Mike like the Blonde, and they kept kind of inserting
us and because we had backgrounds and personalities and they
wanted more airtime for us. So that was shocking a
little bit too. And I mean, I know there's a manipulation,
but in that moment, when you know we're twenty three,
(26:19):
nothing had ever been done like this. I really didn't
think there was so much manipulation, not having any Hollywood experience.
So even though I don't think Alex was very true
to anyone, you know, I feel good.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
I'm sure you were.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
You know, I was true to myself and my feelings,
and so at least I can sleep about that. But yeah,
I mean, do you remember the email that came out
that he and the company tried to shoot down that
he sent to friends saying, yeah, well Amanda is a
little bit.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Fatter than Trista, but he did not.
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Yes, that came out like in the news, and he
was saying, no, I never had to have been hacked.
I never would have said something like that. Well, I
received from an anonymous source a whole bunch of emails
about him talking about high school girls, and they were
also very really damaging words, and so it just began
(27:23):
to grow that, oh my gosh, this is.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
When you guys were together. Yeah, and that's when things
were ending. I mean, PROBABLYS want to say, you know,
it's because I found out you guys still talked or
slept together, which I mean, I do think you should
have shared that in a relationship.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
He should have kind of disclosed a lot.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
We were still talking, for sure. I mean, yeah, we
were writing. Just because of where I was coming from.
I was like, I if I can write a letter,
and that was all we had at the time. You know,
we didn't exchange FO numbers. Yeah, so I would write
him a letter and most of them I didn't send.
And then I remember he sent one back and he's
(28:05):
like something about leaving a door open or something. And
at that point, I was kind of like I just
wanted closure, Like I just wanted to know that you're
good with Amanda. Like I don't need to move forward,
but I just in that moment, I just needed to
be able to like, you know, like absolutely know what
(28:25):
he what was going through his head when he told
me certain things.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
I feel like, Amanda, you you have you done a
lot of therapy over the years, because you are so
well adjusted about all this kind of stuff, Like I mean,
you're just like you know, and it was just an
experience and I'm okay, I love it because I mean
I talked to some people who, you know, twenty years
ago and they're still they're still pissed off about you know,
someone cutting them off in the in the in the
grocery store parking. Yeah, you're just like, you know, I
(29:01):
started realizing who he was and I was okay with
leg Go.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
I mean it was hard, you guys, I mean it
was hard. And yes, I mean right after the show finished,
we were totally dropped, like our relationship by support. We
were just ghosted, and really I did not know what
(29:25):
to do with myself, you know. I tried to live
in California. I couldn't figure out career wise what I
should do. I kind of felt like there was this
expectation since I had been on TV. I was really
turned off with Hollywood, having gone to some events and
meeting like Alex instantly jumped on that bat bandwagon, and
(29:46):
it just was not authentic.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
What I was around.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
And so when I got the job offer to be
a DJ at a radio station and be on the
morning show, I was like, absolutely no place like home.
Get me out of here. I had trouble, I, you know,
started having panic attacks. Alex would come visit and we'd
go to a mall and I remember the first one.
We were on our way to the movie and I
(30:12):
had to get in a corridor and I just was
blacking out, couldn't breathe didn't know what was happening, and
so panic attacks, depression. There was not a lot of
social media, but there was enough out there about we
have five eight. I had triple D breasts at the time,
and you know, a size four six, which isn't huge.
(30:33):
I still am not size, but I mean I was
body shamed, and so I got on antidepressants and I
did I had years of therapy you.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Know, I want to say something about that.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
I mean, I can actually, you know, relate a little
bit to that, because when I was on Tristas season,
you know, I was a little heavier than I'd been
previously in my life because I played sports and everything.
And I remember I was the funny fat guy everywhere
I went, and I was like, what.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
The hell are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (31:01):
You know, and so it was kind of it was
one of those things where I know that could be
really difficult. I went through it too, and so I
can only imagine how that had to feel as a
as a beautiful woman. You know, my I guess my
revenge in my head, not that I need revenge, but
everyone would always come up and go, oh my god,
you're not fat, and I'm like, yeah, thanks, So I'm
(31:21):
glad four people out in front of you know, pat
Son tell me that when you know, three million viewers
think I'm a pig. But it was like, I get
I get that that could be really hard, you know,
and so yeah, good.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Good for you.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
You look so much better in person.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Oh yeah, I get that. I still get that one. Yeah,
I still get that one.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
No, it was hard, but I you know, I think
there was a lot even behind that. I mean, losing
my dad at the age of twelve, I think, abandonment,
the whole bunch of development issues I had to deal with.
I had been bullied because I had some breast development
is shoes when I was growing up. I mean, there's
(32:01):
so much more to my past, like all of us,
that makes us so we are. And then I was
in this very vulnerable situation without really any safety net,
so how to find it, which I did, And then
you know, with my career, I mean that is my
ultimate goal. I work in healthcare and dermatology and to
(32:25):
get the trust of these patients who come in and
have to gawn up so I can scan their body
for skin cancer, make sure they're comfortable, help them love themselves.
I mean it's so rewarding.
Speaker 3 (32:39):
Well good for you, I mean you definitely you can
tell you've I'd never have known you before, obviously, I
think I think we've had that once.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I think a long long time ago. But I was
I was going to say, you.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Know, it had to be so interesting because coming off
of that experience, I mean again, you were both groundbreaking
and everything you're doing as was Alex, and I think
you know, it's one of those things. It definitely made
the path for people who came after you that much easier,
but it didn't make it easier for you all going
through it, and so I can only imagine, you know,
(33:09):
I think, you know, good for you dealing with it
and taking it head on and turning it all into
a positive.
Speaker 5 (33:14):
I mean, that's wonderful, you know, Tristan, I always laugh,
what did you think? Which this is a compliment because
I think it's a very flattering position to have had.
But with your degree and they listed you as a
Miami heat dancer versus having had you were.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Talking about how you were the sex spot. I'm like,
I was the dancer. That was me.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
We were all one dimensional characters back then, you know.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I yeah, whatever, it was, what it was. I was like, yeah,
that's part of me. But I tried to talk about
being a physical therapist as much as possible and hope
that that was sick.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
It wasn't like we were, you know, creating websites or
having and Instagram you know, presence or whatever. So no,
it is interesting that they latch onto that kind of stuff.
But that's always I mean, it is in the end
it's a television show and they're trying to get people
to watch. And you know, even though I think it's
(34:16):
really cool to be smart and have other qualities of
all physicality.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
Yes, yes, you can have brains and be hot.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You know, I think what a lot of people don't
realize is that's how I I originally captured Trista's heart
was I too was a dancer, and when I came
on the show, The Running Man, the Irish, both of
those moves, both of those moves, you know, really caught
her attention because of her dance background. So I mean
I could have come in, I could have come in
(34:47):
and like tried to do you know, some strengthening exercises
as a physical therapist, would also enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
But that I knew my way in, I knew it.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
You were totally memorable, Darling.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Darling, you yeah, thank you, very very sweet, very sweet
to say that.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Well, thank you very much for being on the show
with us, and being a part of this. I mean,
you know, Tristan and I when we were first starting
this thing off, this is exactly what we wanted was
to have, you know, people who really were on it
in the very beginning who had these experiences and you know,
now it's a totally different beast, right, but back then
things were a little simpler, probably a little more complicated
(35:27):
in certain ways, I guess, just because of the fact
that we didn't know what we were getting into. But
it was such a pleasure having you on and thank
you for being a part of the show with us.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (35:36):
I love getting to see you both.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
Yeah, it was so nice, and I think it also
was really hopeful, like with Trista, to be able to
talk and kind of have closure about that time in
our life as well.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
So nice that we're all doing great.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
It's right, we are.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
We are.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Congratulations on your family and your marriage and everything else.
And thank you again so much for joining us, and
have a one wonderful rest of your day.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
Thank I got You're welcome. Take care, bye bye, oh bye.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
That was awesome.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I love that. And you know, it did seem like
you guys got a chance to kind of connect on
some things that may have been you know, sticking points
for a while, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I mean I wonder if you know, I mean, I
really don't ever think about Alex. I mean, it was
a long time ago and I have been happily married
for almost twenty years in a few months, so like,
I don't think about them. But when her name popped
(36:41):
up as as coming on the podcast, I was like, oh, well,
I wonder how this is gonna go Like does she
feel like for some reason? I think I think I
read about how you know, she blamed me for their breakup,
and obviously she's happily married and you know, a mother,
(37:03):
and you know, she has a whole different life, so
I would think that, you know, it wouldn't. Oh, she
just texted me big hugs to you and Bob oh awesome,
So I you know, I was I was like, oh gosh, like,
how is this going to go down? Is she gonna
you know, does she still like think that?
Speaker 4 (37:26):
So?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
I think she was probably saying she was thanking you
for their breakup. I'm just kidding, just kidding. That's that's
the kind of line I always throw out there, and
whenever someone brings up a Stella, I'm like, oh, trust me,
she's lucky she got away from this disaster. But no,
I feel like, you know, I think, like time in
space from anything gives you such a different perspective in life, right,
(37:47):
I mean, here we are. You know, you and I.
I mean, I always knew we'd be friends forever. I
knew that from the second we met. But it's one
of those things like you look at you look at
this history, and a lot of people, you know, didn't
didn't get the type of treatment that you and I
both got from Bachelor Nation and everything else.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
A lot of people went.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Through different experiences, and so they almost like separate themselves
as far as they can from the whole experience. And
and I think, you know, that's that's something that you know,
she kind of went through it, and she was the winner,
so to speak. And then it's like, you know, and
she's also the one that's maybe in a relationship that
isn't what she wants, but she feels like the pressure she.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Has to stay in it and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (38:25):
I mean, I wish I would have even asked her that,
but I just feel like it's one of those things
that I think she seems like a really I meant
what I said, like, she seems like she's definitely dealt
with not just this, but with everything.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
You know, you're right, because that's hard, like being on
the first show and having to come out, and she
you know, she kind of alluded to the fact that
she was they were ghosted, you know, they they were
just Okay, you guys go on about your happy life
and we're going to continue to do stuff. And she
didn't feel supported. So that's hard, especially with getting kind
(38:57):
of not kind of but bullied like on you know,
on the internet through the message boards. Anyway, we gotta go,
we gotta wrap. Thank you everybody for listening in. We
love our AFO G podcast And until next time. He's
Bob Guiney.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
She is Trista Sutter nay Wren. Hi, everybody, he's out.
Hosts And Creators
Ben Higgins
Ashley Iaconetti
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Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!