Crying, Screaming, Hermes Belts and Gucci shoes…and that’s just the beginning.
A sorority mom dishes on the dirty ritual known as ‘The Pig Run’ at SMU.
Revelations about Bid Day trauma and how the news media celebrated the cruelty and the chaos.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
I am super excited for this episode. We have another
amazing guest coming on and sharing their story, so let's
get into it.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I'm actually particularly excited for this episode because it's not
a sorority girl, it's a sorority girl's mom. Oh, and
I am dying to hear your perspective. Christa, Hello, Hi there, No,
I really am excited to talk to you. We all are,
but we want to know from you your experience and
(00:45):
maybe not your particular experience, but the experience that you've
gone through as a mother of a girl going through
the process of rush.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Well, first off, I want to be clear, I was
in a sorority, so yeah, right, I'm not only am mom,
but I was in a sorority myself, which was four
hundred years ago, back in the day when it was
easy to get in, and you got in it was
whether or not you wanted to be in. And now,
as a mom to three girls who've all joined sororities,
(01:15):
my perspective is completely different, and it's been such a
different experience being on the other side and seeing how
difficult it is today and actually how brutal it is.
So as a mom, I would never do it myself now,
but I'm probably my girls were going through such an
ugly process to get to the other side.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Can you tell us a little bit about what their
experience was and what made it so ugly?
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Before you start? If I could ask, where did you
go to school?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So? I went to a small school in northern California
called University of the Pacific, very with I think only
four sororities, and they were all probably great. You know,
you had your top tier. You thought one was the
best one and one was this, but everyone had different opinion.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
I was the best one, but you know, but you know, it.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Was a whole different period where you just I felt
like it was up to me to choose, not up
to them to choose me.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Love that, which is probably as it should be, right feeling.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, for sure, it wasn't like that with your daughters.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yeah, yeah, where.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
You wanted to know about the girls? So my oldest
girl daughter went to a school in the South. I'd
rather not name it, but it is in Dallas and
it was well known for having a particularly brutal sorority rush,
very competitive. There was a book written about it called
(02:43):
I Believe Pledged, written by an undercover reporter who went
through rush at the school. And for decades they've done
something called the Pig Run. And it's called the pig
Run because the girls who make it to the very
last night, and that is few and far between. Hundreds
and hundreds are cut and it's not a huge school,
so in that you know, that percentage seems very high
(03:06):
at the time because they have very limited spots for
the stories. But either way, on the mid day night
they do it. At nighttime, they have the girls sit
on an envelope and they, you know, tell them that
whatever happens when they open that envelope, they're either going
to get what they want, not get what they want,
or not get anything at all. But either way they
(03:26):
must stand up, line up, and then they run from
that door through the middle of campus, where they are
filmed by local TV stations. The entire community comes out.
All of the moms are there for rush. That's one
of the weird things about the school is the mom's
attend rush. I've never heard of that before. But you
have girls sobbing and cryings they didn't get a house.
(03:47):
You have girls crying because they didn't get the house
they want, and then you have girls who are elated
because they got their dream house. And all of it
happens at once, and all of them run together. The crying,
the laughing and screaming parents.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I honestly think that that should be illegal.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
It s the same in white T shirts and the
boys throw like water ballonsm and spram and it's It's
called the Big Run for a reason. And I can't
think of anything worse.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Were you there? Did you?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah? I went, and after that told anyone I knew
whose daughter went there not to go because I had
such a bad experience. But at the same time, it's
so hard on these girls that having your mom there
probably is nice. So I don't know what the right
answer is for me. It was, I mean, I had
PTSD for weeks after I was. I was, I was crying.
(04:39):
It's so weird, how now that look back on how
seriously I took it. But my dog didn't get her
the house she initially wanted, but she ended up getting
the house she should have gotten. It just was she
didn't know what she was doing, and she got a house,
but plenty of her friends didn't get anything, and they
still had to run. And if I if she hadn't
gotten anything, it probably would have been worse than it was.
But it was altogether, probably one of the worst experiences
(05:02):
I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
There are reporters there like recording these girls that are devastated.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Local TV stations just because it's such a fun event
and it's a tradition, and you know, they all do
it and it's been going on for, like I said, decades.
They used to call it U haul Day because tuition
wasn't due until the day after rush, so if a
girl didn't make a story, then she would quit school,
load the U haul and drive off. But now they
(05:30):
moved a tuition date to write before you hear whether
or not you got a sorority. And actually I heard
recently may have moved sorority rush to second semester, which
was probably a little bit better because girls, or back
to first semester. I can't remember which one they moved
it to, but either way, the U haul Day is
no longer a thing. They tuition is required prior to
(05:52):
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Speaker 1 (07:04):
I feel like just going to those extents is crazy
because I went to Rutgers University, so big ten and
the Greek life wasn't nearly as big as it was
in the South, but we had something similar, but the.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
It wasn't similar at all.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Like we were all in a I guess auditorium, and
we opened up our envelopes and saw which sorority house
we got into, and then the sorority house that we
got into, everyone ran home, so you would run home
to your houses. But it wasn't like there were any
acts of malicious intent being thrown in our faces, or
(07:47):
at least not to my knowledge that I remember that
that was happening. I mean, definitely no news channels outside.
There was not other fraternity brothers throwing water balloons at us.
Like that's just another level.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Yeah, that's how mine was too. Like it wasn't.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
An extremely reveal.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Yeah, it was like it was just like girls and
then if you didn't get in one, you didn't like
see everyone else. I think they had us like run
I'm like trying to remember they had us like run
through in groups, Like if I was in Alpha FE,
so I ran through with all the girls that got
Alfy did your daughter because she said she got one,
did she end up staying in that and did she
end up liking it or no, I think.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
She liked it for a little while. After a while
she didn't like it. But the crazy thing was, it
was such a big deal to get into certain houses,
and you know, some of them were overly hyped up.
And at the end of the day, after it was
all over, she still hung out with the girls in
different houses. They all hung out together. It wasn't like
it was changing their life for the better or worse
(08:47):
depending on which else they got in. I think that
was a huge lesson for me and hopefully for her,
but that it didn't matter. It didn't matter you got
into a house, you didn't get a new house, you
got in the top house, you got in the second
top house, or at the end of the day, it
all hung out thegether anyway.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, tell us about the dynamics or so all. What
do the mothers do? They're there for what the week?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, it's a pretty short process, as opposed to say Indiana,
where another one of my kids went, which goes on
for about six weeks. I think this was about a
week and you check into a hotel, so all the
moms stay in a hotel. And I were originally from
California and so I didn't know about rush coaches at
the time, but when I checked into hotel, I noticed
(09:31):
there were racks of clothes coming in and makeup artists
and tanning people, and people were saying, Oh, when's your
rush coach coming, And I'm like, oh, shoot, rush coach.
So that was a lesson to learn about the process.
In the South, they take it very seriously.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
If you don't mind me asking how long ago was this.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I graduated two years Okay, see, I graduated two years ago,
and I this is like a different language.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
I've never heard of this in my life.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Okay, maybe it's in the South, but I know.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Also at Indiana they have rush coaches, so I don't know.
These rush coaches start girls as early as eighth grade,
teaching them how to get through the rush process, what
they need to get into quote unquote they top to
your house or whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I'm going to pukel it in my mouth. I can't,
I can't listen. I was in a sorority. I know
how wonderful the experience can be. And I know you
guys loved it once I was in I you know,
you make lifelong friends all of that, But you're killing
me here with the mothers with the racks of clothes
and hairdressers and whoa, that's a lot and it's a
(10:34):
lot of money. But how did you feel about it
when you like, was your daughter like, mommy wear are
my clothes?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Was you know?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
What was that like for you?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Think so mind blowing that part of me was thinking,
We're not falling for this stuff. This is stupid. I'm
not doing it. And part of me is thinking, while
we really missed the boat, I need to get a
pair of Gucci shoes immediately. And the fact that the
airmate's belt, she's not going to make the house like
you start thinking crazy thoughts. I mean, we didn't get
to the airmate's belt. We can go to the shoes. But
I was thinking, have I screwed my daughter out of
(11:04):
this happiness for the rest of her life? And oh
my god, I'm thinking if I'm getting wrapped up like
that in a week, what is it doing to the girls?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
It's like I have friends that made the decision not
to hire college counselors. We did do that, and then
look back on it like maybe my kid would have
gotten into their first choice had I spent the five
thousand dollars I don't know, but this it's so interesting
that I could see that you would feel both like,
(11:34):
you know, just nauseated and at the same time pressured
to do it right.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Right, because I feel like, at the same time, you know,
watching the other parents do it, you don't want to
fail your daughter right, and you don't want to let
your daughter down.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
But in retrospect, looking.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Back at it, I mean, I know, you realize that
it's obviously insane and completely.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Oh for sure, and luckily shoes my first. So I
think after the trauma passed and I realized, oh my god,
I think I just went a little crazy, and as
did my daughter when the next one went through rush.
I mean, I was so nervous for her that I
made her care package to open every single day, like
you're gonna do great and we love you no matter what,
and she's like, are you insane? She opened up each
(12:19):
package and was like what is this for? She sailed
straight through, had all her top choices, was like, I
don't know what you're talking about. And it was great.
So then by night time I got to my third
I thought, well, I'm not gonna do the car. That's stupid.
I don't need to worry. It's obviously it was just
it was just the southern schools. And it ended up
the year my daughter went through Sority rush at Iu.
(12:40):
It was. It ended up being the most difficult rush
in America that year, and thousands of kids were cut
and many many kids transferred, and it was a really
it went viral on TikTok and she didn't make a house,
and she ended up making house the next time around.
But I was once again, I felt like I had
(13:03):
failed her. I felt like a failure. I felt sad
for her. She's they missed out on her because she's amazing,
But it was just two many numbers. She didn't know anyone.
She came from California. There aren't a lot of Californians
and she didn't stand a chance at the beginning. And
I might here we go again. Should I have done
the other stuff?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Oh my god, it's a lot. That is a lot.
How does she handle the rejection?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
I think once she realized that literally over a thousand
kids had been cut that in the final rounds, she
felt a lot better and she knew other people who
had been cut. And I think it took a while.
I mean, she was pretty sad in the beginning, but
I think she was able to rationalize that she really
knew nobody, and if you don't know people in the houses,
it's difficult to get in the houses, and she needed
(13:50):
to meet people, and so she did and she's now
happy and she's living in her sorority and this year
and you know, it's all good. But I think we
thought that would be an easy school. And I do
think that when she chose it, she chose it because
she was never going to go to a Southern school
where it was really difficult. So, I mean, her brothers
were in fraternities, and some of them in the South,
(14:11):
the boys who went to the southern schools, that was
pretty brutal too. That was dirty rushing. You're in before
the rush even starts. They've already decided their entire pledge
class weeks before the schools announced. Welcome to fraternity rush.
It's done. You're already out from social media. You don't know.
You don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Is it from social media that they choose.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
No, they fly out all you know, parties. But if
you don't know and you weren't invited and you don't
know who to talk to to be invited, you would
show up and there would be no room for you
in any of the fraternitys because they already they'd spent
the whole summer rushing people. Wow, and supposedly the girls
do it too now, And I think that was the
(14:55):
lesson we missed. Is it starts before it starts.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I mean, listen, you didn't go to college in the South.
I did, but like Christa, about ten million years ago,
and my mother didn't even know what it already was.
And I'm happy for it. I cannot imagine. And I
my daughter went to Delaware, it was none of this.
She rushed during COVID. I feel for you, sister, not easy.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I feel for the girls. I mean, I think it's
getting worse and not better from what I'm hearing. I mean,
because of TikTok with Alabama and yeah, you know, all
of the dances and the overhyping of it, and it's
just the end all to be all. But at the
end of the day, it's it's a great thing. It
fills a niche, you get to meet people, make friends,
hopefully friends for life. But at the many girls end
(15:43):
up quitting well before their senior year. I mean, it's
not as not what they thought it was going to be,
or they got enough out of it along the way
already made their friends, or they can't afford it, or
whatever the reason.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
And I think that all plays.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I think that all plays into it because once you
go through at least first and second semester, in that
first year of receiving your big and going through mid
day and having all these happy moments, you come to
the realization of Okay, I have my friend group, I
know my way around, I can get into the parties,
everything is fine. And then people do realize, Okay, maybe
(16:19):
this isn't worth the money, or this isn't worth the time,
or I don't want to keep going to these activities
or schools picking up. There's so many aspects of it.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Or I don't like the rules because there are a
lot of rules.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
There's so many high senior where so many people drop
before graduating.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Well, so I only had one more class to take
because I was like ahead because of high school. But
then I was like, I really like, I have all
my friends, I don't really need it. It was also
COVID and they were trying to make me pay. I
was going abroad junior year. I actually dropped the end
of my junior year because I was going abroad and
I got someone to fill my spot in the house,
and they were still trying to make me pay for
(17:12):
my spot in the house, and I was like, Okay,
I'm out.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
It's also just silly for the long run when you
do drop after spending all that money for so many years,
because then you don't put it on your resume.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
I mean, you could, but then if.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
They contact your sorority, it's like she's no longer a member.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
But how much do you really think? I mean, I
was a recruiter out of college and hired people for jobs.
There wasn't one person I hired because they were in
a sorority.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Do people do that?
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Now? Do they do?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
They can?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
I've never heard of that putting it on your resume.
I know people do.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I just don't think the biggest thing, also, people say
to join a sorority is to put it on your
resume really good. And then especially if joining a sorority,
if you did something for.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Exact right, then that also the treasure.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, Okay, so.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Then there's certain things that obviously look good for your resume.
But I'm really sorry that you had all of those
experiences with your daughters. I mean, that's definitely not easy
as a mom. I don't I know that my mom
would probably not know what Yeah, okay, my mom wouldn't
know what to do with herself. But what do you
think was the difference between your second daughter and then
(18:19):
your first and your third?
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Where did your second daughter go to school?
Speaker 3 (18:22):
So second doar went to Boulder. I think it's just
a much more relaxed rush experience. But she had something
like one hundred and twenty five hundred and thirty girls
in her pledge class, so they take a lot more girls.
You don't obviously all have the opportunity to live in
the house. It's a lot bigger. I don't think she'll
ever know the names of all the people in her
pledge class, whereas my first daughter was probably like forty
(18:45):
or fifty girls in her pledge class and my youngest
star was probably only twenty five. So just completely different
experiences across the board, different schools. You know, we're talking
the South, you know, Boulder, Colorado and then Indiana, so
such different locations. The Boulder girl went new a ton
(19:06):
of people because a lot of kids from California go there,
so she had a lag up just with that with
knowing people, which I think is the number one thing
you need going into a sorority, because.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Then you can have you can have people vouch for
you during the recruitment process.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
We are thrilled that you are you've joined us, and
it's such a great insight just to hear not only
you know, the running of the pigs or whatever what
is it called? That horrible, horrible name, but harms talent,
just sharing because I think that a lot of our
listeners are going to be able to relate not feel
quite so alone.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
But then I think a lot of our new listeners
coming on are going to be so grateful to hear
your story because this is really going to help a
lot of you know, upcoming freshmen and just girls that
are thinking about rushing and.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
It'll maybe make or break where they choose to go.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
To school, because it's a lot of pression moms too well.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
And I think that it takes way though no matter
where they go to school, is that it always works
out in the end. These these girls maybe that school
wasn't right from they end up transferring or the story
they didn't get into wasn't right for them. The one
they did get into ended up being the best place
for them. It seems to always work out. You can
rush again, you can transfer and rush. I mean, there
are many options, and so I don't think putting all
(20:22):
your eggs in one basket is the way to go.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Listen to what this very wise woman is saying, listeners,
please say it one more time.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Which part don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
No, everything will work, Everything will work itself out.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
On that note, thank you for coming on.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
You have a great day.
Speaker 5 (20:44):
Thank you, Christa.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I would never want my daughter to experience or go
through that. I also just think that's a horrible experience
in general, to go through sorority rush like that. I
feel like that just paints such an image that you
need to be at this standard to be accepted. What
(21:06):
if you can't afford an ermaz bell or Gucci slu
or Gucci sides or Guccie sandals, your mom is supposed
to feel obligated to go and get that for you,
to make you get into a sorority.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I mean, I was, I said to her, It's just.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
The most bogus thing I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I said, your mom, your mom, Daisy, your mom. Me,
as a mom, I would become so incensed if my daughter,
if they were running and my daughter was running at it,
it would get violent. I would become I would lose
my mind right.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
One thousand percent. But then even just seeing the pressure
of being in a hotel room and seeing other moms
come in with all of this stuff, I completely understand
what she was saying. Feeling the pressure of oh, should
I have gotten her this, or should I have gotten
her a makeup artist? Like that is just not sorority rush.
That is like, that is the craziest thing in the world.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I'm glad that wasn't either one of your experiences.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
No, it's almost to me it kind of seems like
maybe like the moms are the one that's making it
so insane.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I agree, because then also, I mean, look at these
pageant moms. Yeah, these daughters grow up doing pageants. It's
not the daughter's choice. I mean, yeah, okay, they get
you know, I'm sure they're excited to get in their
costumes and the glitz and the glam, But like Toddler's.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
In Tierra's, Yeah, their mothers are more investment.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
That's so childing.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Yeah, I am so on board with that. I think
that also. I wanted my daughter when she was going
through it to know that I didn't give two ships.
Like I want her to understand that she thought that
this was everything, and I thought it was having been
in a sorority especially, it was not important. It was
it would have been. I knew that it was going
(22:54):
to be nice for her, a great way to meet people,
but certainly like not the end all be all. I
would think that would make the girls feel more pressure. Yeah,
for sure.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
And I think too, like coming into freshman year, like
it is so scary and everything is so new, and
to have that extra like aspect and pressure like I.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Have to get in it.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Yeah, I don't know, it just kind of gets rid
of the fun of it. I think adding all that
extra stuff.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And I think you know what she was saying with
the moms, not really the moms because you don't see
the moms as much on TikTok, but the sorority girls
that are very well known right now, some of them
go to Alabama.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
I think.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I think it's like a whole thing you know, the
moms are adding into it, the daughters are adding into
but it's it's everyone kind of making the world feel
like this is okay, and it's it's it's not I mean.
And I think there are of course, certain sororities at
Alabama that are too a different standard, which obviously you
(24:01):
do not need to go into that sorority. But you know,
my friend went to Alabama and she rushed, and she
definitely didn't do all this.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
So ladies were starting a revolution. Yes, there will be
no more running of the pigs.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
No, that's brazy. Yeah. If I had boys throwing balloons
at me.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I'm sure I would cry, Yeah, oh what.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Is going on?
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Either that or I'd be like exciting, get ready to out?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Could go one or two ways.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
We love hearing your stories, and if you have more
dirty Rush stories to tell us, make sure to give
us a call call at eight four four two seven
eight rush.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
All right, well, guys, thank you for listening. Once again, we.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Already already rush. Thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
You, thank you. To be continued
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
I am super excited for this episode. We have another
amazing guest coming on and sharing their story, so let's
get into it.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
I'm actually particularly excited for this episode because it's not
a sorority girl, it's a sorority girl's mom. Oh, and
I am dying to hear your perspective. Christa, Hello, Hi there, No,
I really am excited to talk to you. We all are,
but we want to know from you your experience and
(00:45):
maybe not your particular experience, but the experience that you've
gone through as a mother of a girl going through
the process of rush.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Well, first off, I want to be clear, I was
in a sorority, so yeah, right, I'm not only am mom,
but I was in a sorority myself, which was four
hundred years ago, back in the day when it was
easy to get in, and you got in it was
whether or not you wanted to be in. And now,
as a mom to three girls who've all joined sororities,
(01:15):
my perspective is completely different, and it's been such a
different experience being on the other side and seeing how
difficult it is today and actually how brutal it is.
So as a mom, I would never do it myself now,
but I'm probably my girls were going through such an
ugly process to get to the other side.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Can you tell us a little bit about what their
experience was and what made it so ugly?
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Before you start? If I could ask, where did you
go to school?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So? I went to a small school in northern California
called University of the Pacific, very with I think only
four sororities, and they were all probably great. You know,
you had your top tier. You thought one was the
best one and one was this, but everyone had different opinion.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
I was the best one, but you know, but you know, it.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Was a whole different period where you just I felt
like it was up to me to choose, not up
to them to choose me.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
Love that, which is probably as it should be, right feeling.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, for sure, it wasn't like that with your daughters.
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Yeah, yeah, where.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
You wanted to know about the girls? So my oldest
girl daughter went to a school in the South. I'd
rather not name it, but it is in Dallas and
it was well known for having a particularly brutal sorority rush,
very competitive. There was a book written about it called
(02:43):
I Believe Pledged, written by an undercover reporter who went
through rush at the school. And for decades they've done
something called the Pig Run. And it's called the pig
Run because the girls who make it to the very
last night, and that is few and far between. Hundreds
and hundreds are cut and it's not a huge school,
so in that you know, that percentage seems very high
(03:06):
at the time because they have very limited spots for
the stories. But either way, on the mid day night
they do it. At nighttime, they have the girls sit
on an envelope and they, you know, tell them that
whatever happens when they open that envelope, they're either going
to get what they want, not get what they want,
or not get anything at all. But either way they
(03:26):
must stand up, line up, and then they run from
that door through the middle of campus, where they are
filmed by local TV stations. The entire community comes out.
All of the moms are there for rush. That's one
of the weird things about the school is the mom's
attend rush. I've never heard of that before. But you
have girls sobbing and cryings they didn't get a house.
(03:47):
You have girls crying because they didn't get the house
they want, and then you have girls who are elated
because they got their dream house. And all of it
happens at once, and all of them run together. The crying,
the laughing and screaming parents.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I honestly think that that should be illegal.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
It s the same in white T shirts and the
boys throw like water ballonsm and spram and it's It's
called the Big Run for a reason. And I can't
think of anything worse.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Were you there? Did you?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah? I went, and after that told anyone I knew
whose daughter went there not to go because I had
such a bad experience. But at the same time, it's
so hard on these girls that having your mom there
probably is nice. So I don't know what the right
answer is for me. It was, I mean, I had
PTSD for weeks after I was. I was, I was crying.
(04:39):
It's so weird, how now that look back on how
seriously I took it. But my dog didn't get her
the house she initially wanted, but she ended up getting
the house she should have gotten. It just was she
didn't know what she was doing, and she got a house,
but plenty of her friends didn't get anything, and they
still had to run. And if I if she hadn't
gotten anything, it probably would have been worse than it was.
But it was altogether, probably one of the worst experiences
(05:02):
I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
There are reporters there like recording these girls that are devastated.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Local TV stations just because it's such a fun event
and it's a tradition, and you know, they all do
it and it's been going on for, like I said, decades.
They used to call it U haul Day because tuition
wasn't due until the day after rush, so if a
girl didn't make a story, then she would quit school,
load the U haul and drive off. But now they
(05:30):
moved a tuition date to write before you hear whether
or not you got a sorority. And actually I heard
recently may have moved sorority rush to second semester, which
was probably a little bit better because girls, or back
to first semester. I can't remember which one they moved
it to, but either way, the U haul Day is
no longer a thing. They tuition is required prior to
(05:52):
finding out.
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Speaker 1 (07:04):
I feel like just going to those extents is crazy
because I went to Rutgers University, so big ten and
the Greek life wasn't nearly as big as it was
in the South, but we had something similar, but the.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
It wasn't similar at all.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Like we were all in a I guess auditorium, and
we opened up our envelopes and saw which sorority house
we got into, and then the sorority house that we
got into, everyone ran home, so you would run home
to your houses. But it wasn't like there were any
acts of malicious intent being thrown in our faces, or
(07:47):
at least not to my knowledge that I remember that
that was happening. I mean, definitely no news channels outside.
There was not other fraternity brothers throwing water balloons at us.
Like that's just another level.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Yeah, that's how mine was too. Like it wasn't.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
An extremely reveal.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Yeah, it was like it was just like girls and
then if you didn't get in one, you didn't like
see everyone else. I think they had us like run
I'm like trying to remember they had us like run
through in groups, Like if I was in Alpha FE,
so I ran through with all the girls that got
Alfy did your daughter because she said she got one,
did she end up staying in that and did she
end up liking it or no, I think.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
She liked it for a little while. After a while
she didn't like it. But the crazy thing was, it
was such a big deal to get into certain houses,
and you know, some of them were overly hyped up.
And at the end of the day, after it was
all over, she still hung out with the girls in
different houses. They all hung out together. It wasn't like
it was changing their life for the better or worse
(08:47):
depending on which else they got in. I think that
was a huge lesson for me and hopefully for her,
but that it didn't matter. It didn't matter you got
into a house, you didn't get a new house, you
got in the top house, you got in the second
top house, or at the end of the day, it
all hung out thegether anyway.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, tell us about the dynamics or so all. What
do the mothers do? They're there for what the week?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, it's a pretty short process, as opposed to say Indiana,
where another one of my kids went, which goes on
for about six weeks. I think this was about a
week and you check into a hotel, so all the
moms stay in a hotel. And I were originally from
California and so I didn't know about rush coaches at
the time, but when I checked into hotel, I noticed
(09:31):
there were racks of clothes coming in and makeup artists
and tanning people, and people were saying, Oh, when's your
rush coach coming, And I'm like, oh, shoot, rush coach.
So that was a lesson to learn about the process.
In the South, they take it very seriously.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
If you don't mind me asking how long ago was this.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I graduated two years Okay, see, I graduated two years ago,
and I this is like a different language.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
I've never heard of this in my life.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Okay, maybe it's in the South, but I know.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Also at Indiana they have rush coaches, so I don't know.
These rush coaches start girls as early as eighth grade,
teaching them how to get through the rush process, what
they need to get into quote unquote they top to
your house or whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I'm going to pukel it in my mouth. I can't,
I can't listen. I was in a sorority. I know
how wonderful the experience can be. And I know you
guys loved it once I was in I you know,
you make lifelong friends all of that, But you're killing
me here with the mothers with the racks of clothes
and hairdressers and whoa, that's a lot and it's a
(10:34):
lot of money. But how did you feel about it
when you like, was your daughter like, mommy wear are
my clothes?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Was you know?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
What was that like for you?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Think so mind blowing that part of me was thinking,
We're not falling for this stuff. This is stupid. I'm
not doing it. And part of me is thinking, while
we really missed the boat, I need to get a
pair of Gucci shoes immediately. And the fact that the
airmate's belt, she's not going to make the house like
you start thinking crazy thoughts. I mean, we didn't get
to the airmate's belt. We can go to the shoes. But
I was thinking, have I screwed my daughter out of
(11:04):
this happiness for the rest of her life? And oh
my god, I'm thinking if I'm getting wrapped up like
that in a week, what is it doing to the girls?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
It's like I have friends that made the decision not
to hire college counselors. We did do that, and then
look back on it like maybe my kid would have
gotten into their first choice had I spent the five
thousand dollars I don't know, but this it's so interesting
that I could see that you would feel both like,
(11:34):
you know, just nauseated and at the same time pressured
to do it right.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Right, because I feel like, at the same time, you know,
watching the other parents do it, you don't want to
fail your daughter right, and you don't want to let
your daughter down.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
But in retrospect, looking.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Back at it, I mean, I know, you realize that
it's obviously insane and completely.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Oh for sure, and luckily shoes my first. So I
think after the trauma passed and I realized, oh my god,
I think I just went a little crazy, and as
did my daughter when the next one went through rush.
I mean, I was so nervous for her that I
made her care package to open every single day, like
you're gonna do great and we love you no matter what,
and she's like, are you insane? She opened up each
(12:19):
package and was like what is this for? She sailed
straight through, had all her top choices, was like, I
don't know what you're talking about. And it was great.
So then by night time I got to my third
I thought, well, I'm not gonna do the car. That's stupid.
I don't need to worry. It's obviously it was just
it was just the southern schools. And it ended up
the year my daughter went through Sority rush at Iu.
(12:40):
It was. It ended up being the most difficult rush
in America that year, and thousands of kids were cut
and many many kids transferred, and it was a really
it went viral on TikTok and she didn't make a house,
and she ended up making house the next time around.
But I was once again, I felt like I had
(13:03):
failed her. I felt like a failure. I felt sad
for her. She's they missed out on her because she's amazing,
But it was just two many numbers. She didn't know anyone.
She came from California. There aren't a lot of Californians
and she didn't stand a chance at the beginning. And
I might here we go again. Should I have done
the other stuff?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Oh my god, it's a lot. That is a lot.
How does she handle the rejection?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
I think once she realized that literally over a thousand
kids had been cut that in the final rounds, she
felt a lot better and she knew other people who
had been cut. And I think it took a while.
I mean, she was pretty sad in the beginning, but
I think she was able to rationalize that she really
knew nobody, and if you don't know people in the houses,
it's difficult to get in the houses, and she needed
(13:50):
to meet people, and so she did and she's now
happy and she's living in her sorority and this year
and you know, it's all good. But I think we
thought that would be an easy school. And I do
think that when she chose it, she chose it because
she was never going to go to a Southern school
where it was really difficult. So, I mean, her brothers
were in fraternities, and some of them in the South,
(14:11):
the boys who went to the southern schools, that was
pretty brutal too. That was dirty rushing. You're in before
the rush even starts. They've already decided their entire pledge
class weeks before the schools announced. Welcome to fraternity rush.
It's done. You're already out from social media. You don't know.
You don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Is it from social media that they choose.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
No, they fly out all you know, parties. But if
you don't know and you weren't invited and you don't
know who to talk to to be invited, you would
show up and there would be no room for you
in any of the fraternitys because they already they'd spent
the whole summer rushing people. Wow, and supposedly the girls
do it too now, And I think that was the
(14:55):
lesson we missed. Is it starts before it starts.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I mean, listen, you didn't go to college in the South.
I did, but like Christa, about ten million years ago,
and my mother didn't even know what it already was.
And I'm happy for it. I cannot imagine. And I
my daughter went to Delaware, it was none of this.
She rushed during COVID. I feel for you, sister, not easy.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I feel for the girls. I mean, I think it's
getting worse and not better from what I'm hearing. I mean,
because of TikTok with Alabama and yeah, you know, all
of the dances and the overhyping of it, and it's
just the end all to be all. But at the
end of the day, it's it's a great thing. It
fills a niche, you get to meet people, make friends,
hopefully friends for life. But at the many girls end
(15:43):
up quitting well before their senior year. I mean, it's
not as not what they thought it was going to be,
or they got enough out of it along the way
already made their friends, or they can't afford it, or
whatever the reason.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
And I think that all plays.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I think that all plays into it because once you
go through at least first and second semester, in that
first year of receiving your big and going through mid
day and having all these happy moments, you come to
the realization of Okay, I have my friend group, I
know my way around, I can get into the parties,
everything is fine. And then people do realize, Okay, maybe
(16:19):
this isn't worth the money, or this isn't worth the time,
or I don't want to keep going to these activities
or schools picking up. There's so many aspects of it.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Or I don't like the rules because there are a
lot of rules.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
There's so many high senior where so many people drop
before graduating.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Well, so I only had one more class to take
because I was like ahead because of high school. But
then I was like, I really like, I have all
my friends, I don't really need it. It was also
COVID and they were trying to make me pay. I
was going abroad junior year. I actually dropped the end
of my junior year because I was going abroad and
I got someone to fill my spot in the house,
and they were still trying to make me pay for
(17:12):
my spot in the house, and I was like, Okay,
I'm out.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
It's also just silly for the long run when you
do drop after spending all that money for so many years,
because then you don't put it on your resume.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
I mean, you could, but then if.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
They contact your sorority, it's like she's no longer a member.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
But how much do you really think? I mean, I
was a recruiter out of college and hired people for jobs.
There wasn't one person I hired because they were in
a sorority.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Do people do that?
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Now? Do they do?
Speaker 5 (17:39):
They can?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
I've never heard of that putting it on your resume.
I know people do.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I just don't think the biggest thing, also, people say
to join a sorority is to put it on your
resume really good. And then especially if joining a sorority,
if you did something for.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Exact right, then that also the treasure.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, Okay, so.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Then there's certain things that obviously look good for your resume.
But I'm really sorry that you had all of those
experiences with your daughters. I mean, that's definitely not easy
as a mom. I don't I know that my mom
would probably not know what Yeah, okay, my mom wouldn't
know what to do with herself. But what do you
think was the difference between your second daughter and then
(18:19):
your first and your third?
Speaker 5 (18:20):
Where did your second daughter go to school?
Speaker 3 (18:22):
So second doar went to Boulder. I think it's just
a much more relaxed rush experience. But she had something
like one hundred and twenty five hundred and thirty girls
in her pledge class, so they take a lot more girls.
You don't obviously all have the opportunity to live in
the house. It's a lot bigger. I don't think she'll
ever know the names of all the people in her
pledge class, whereas my first daughter was probably like forty
(18:45):
or fifty girls in her pledge class and my youngest
star was probably only twenty five. So just completely different
experiences across the board, different schools. You know, we're talking
the South, you know, Boulder, Colorado and then Indiana, so
such different locations. The Boulder girl went new a ton
(19:06):
of people because a lot of kids from California go there,
so she had a lag up just with that with
knowing people, which I think is the number one thing
you need going into a sorority, because.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Then you can have you can have people vouch for
you during the recruitment process.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
We are thrilled that you are you've joined us, and
it's such a great insight just to hear not only
you know, the running of the pigs or whatever what
is it called? That horrible, horrible name, but harms talent,
just sharing because I think that a lot of our
listeners are going to be able to relate not feel
quite so alone.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
But then I think a lot of our new listeners
coming on are going to be so grateful to hear
your story because this is really going to help a
lot of you know, upcoming freshmen and just girls that
are thinking about rushing and.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
It'll maybe make or break where they choose to go.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
To school, because it's a lot of pression moms too well.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
And I think that it takes way though no matter
where they go to school, is that it always works
out in the end. These these girls maybe that school
wasn't right from they end up transferring or the story
they didn't get into wasn't right for them. The one
they did get into ended up being the best place
for them. It seems to always work out. You can
rush again, you can transfer and rush. I mean, there
are many options, and so I don't think putting all
(20:22):
your eggs in one basket is the way to go.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Listen to what this very wise woman is saying, listeners,
please say it one more time.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Which part don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
No, everything will work, Everything will work itself out.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
On that note, thank you for coming on.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
You have a great day.
Speaker 5 (20:44):
Thank you, Christa.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I would never want my daughter to experience or go
through that. I also just think that's a horrible experience
in general, to go through sorority rush like that. I
feel like that just paints such an image that you
need to be at this standard to be accepted. What
(21:06):
if you can't afford an ermaz bell or Gucci slu
or Gucci sides or Guccie sandals, your mom is supposed
to feel obligated to go and get that for you,
to make you get into a sorority.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I mean, I was, I said to her, It's just.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
The most bogus thing I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
I said, your mom, your mom, Daisy, your mom. Me,
as a mom, I would become so incensed if my daughter,
if they were running and my daughter was running at it,
it would get violent. I would become I would lose
my mind right.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
One thousand percent. But then even just seeing the pressure
of being in a hotel room and seeing other moms
come in with all of this stuff, I completely understand
what she was saying. Feeling the pressure of oh, should
I have gotten her this, or should I have gotten
her a makeup artist? Like that is just not sorority rush.
That is like, that is the craziest thing in the world.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I'm glad that wasn't either one of your experiences.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
No, it's almost to me it kind of seems like
maybe like the moms are the one that's making it
so insane.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I agree, because then also, I mean, look at these
pageant moms. Yeah, these daughters grow up doing pageants. It's
not the daughter's choice. I mean, yeah, okay, they get
you know, I'm sure they're excited to get in their
costumes and the glitz and the glam, But like Toddler's.
Speaker 5 (22:29):
In Tierra's, Yeah, their mothers are more investment.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
That's so childing.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Yeah, I am so on board with that. I think
that also. I wanted my daughter when she was going
through it to know that I didn't give two ships.
Like I want her to understand that she thought that
this was everything, and I thought it was having been
in a sorority especially, it was not important. It was
it would have been. I knew that it was going
(22:54):
to be nice for her, a great way to meet people,
but certainly like not the end all be all. I
would think that would make the girls feel more pressure. Yeah,
for sure.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
And I think too, like coming into freshman year, like
it is so scary and everything is so new, and
to have that extra like aspect and pressure like I.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Have to get in it.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Yeah, I don't know, it just kind of gets rid
of the fun of it. I think adding all that
extra stuff.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And I think you know what she was saying with
the moms, not really the moms because you don't see
the moms as much on TikTok, but the sorority girls
that are very well known right now, some of them
go to Alabama.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
I think.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I think it's like a whole thing you know, the
moms are adding into it, the daughters are adding into
but it's it's everyone kind of making the world feel
like this is okay, and it's it's it's not I mean.
And I think there are of course, certain sororities at
Alabama that are too a different standard, which obviously you
(24:01):
do not need to go into that sorority. But you know,
my friend went to Alabama and she rushed, and she
definitely didn't do all this.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
So ladies were starting a revolution. Yes, there will be
no more running of the pigs.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
No, that's brazy. Yeah. If I had boys throwing balloons
at me.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I'm sure I would cry, Yeah, oh what.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Is going on?
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Either that or I'd be like exciting, get ready to out?
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Could go one or two ways.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
We love hearing your stories, and if you have more
dirty Rush stories to tell us, make sure to give
us a call call at eight four four two seven
eight rush.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
All right, well, guys, thank you for listening. Once again, we.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Already already rush. Thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
You, thank you. To be continued
Hosts And Creators
Ben Higgins
Ashley Iaconetti
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Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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