The Biggest Hometown Date of All with Ben's Girlfriend Jess

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Ben and Ashley I almost famous podcast
with our radio. Should we start like opening up this
show and saying the Ben and Author Ashley I podcast
like a formal title that we can give you, like doctor. Well,
then it would be like philanthropists Ben Higgins and author Actually,

(00:22):
like an Eddie, we get real deep and like obsessed
with ourselves. Let's not do that. Let's not do that.
I don't think people would like that at all. Hey,
if you have it yet, make sure to go out
and buy Ashley and Jared's new book. I've read it
for the back. It's terrific. I've learned a lot about
my own self through it. Actually, where can they buy it?
They can buy it right now at Lucy and Clark
book dot com and then at the end of March

(00:44):
it will be on Amazon. But why get it on
Amazon in six weeks? If you can get it now
at Lucy and Clark book dot com, it will be
in your mailbox or at your door within a week
and um then it will also be in bookstores at
the end of March. Ben, we are doing a special
little celebration for it. Next week You're flying out to
l A. We're gonna have dinner at Mr Chow's, which

(01:06):
is super good and I've only been there on an
awkward date like I talked about last week. But Ben,
if you ever have Mr Chow's. I know of Mr Chow.
I hear big things about him. He's very popular in
the food community here in l A. So good. You'll
eat with me, Jared and a couple other bachelor friends.
And um, we're we're putting that dinner up forbid. If

(01:28):
you go to if only dot Com proceeds go to
the American Red Cross and you get to have dinner
with me, Ben, Jared, and a couple other of our
bachelor friends. And in addition, it is open to the
public to go to Planet Blue in Malibu at six
o'clock next Monday, March fourth, and you guys can just

(01:50):
hang out with us. We'll probably do a book reading,
we'll do some book signing, and then we'll just be chatting.
So open for him to come hang out with some
of your bachelor faives next Monday in Labu at Plant Blue,
six o'clock. Alright, Ben, after that shameless plug, let's get
back to how your trip in Honduras was. Yeah, I
just got back generous Adventures. We call it UM. It's

(02:13):
part of Generous UH International, which is best known a
Generous Coffee. So we started Generous Adventures, which takes trips
to our coffee farms all around the world, and so
we do it a couple of times a year. This
trip was special because we went to Honduras and we
visited our new coffee farm, which is called Honduras Coffee Kids.
And this is a farm that the kids of producers,
so the kids of families that have been in coffee

(02:36):
for hundreds of years are now learning how to grow
specialty coffee. So we went and visit them. We also
went and visited the communities that our coffee sales and
t shirt sales are going to. We brought twenty two
people with us in the US and we drove across Honduras.
UM experienced the whole country. It was It was really
awesome and uh, it's really fun. I honestly ash every

(02:58):
time I go down. You know, sometimes I think for
all of us, who you know, work and we have
all our own specific jobs. Sometimes we kind of get
in this routine and I'm talking to UM, a young
lady right now who listens to podcast and She's just
texting me today and she's like, I'm just kind of
in a rut, like I'm depressed. I'm sad, and it's
because I don't feel a purpose. And I think these

(03:18):
trips allow all of us to experience a purpose again,
like feel like we have human connection and feel like
we can make a difference in the world. Feel like, um,
we can take a step away from the regular routines
and just recalibrate and and see what it is that
makes life important. And ultimately, I believe that's people. And
so I feel great being back. My stomach is healthy,

(03:40):
which is always a good A good plus no parasite
this time, no parasite, but it was it was great.
So and everybody on the trip, you know, as big
fans of yours, Ashley. They listen to the podcast um
and uh, and it's really cool to hear their feedback
after they get to know me personally, I mean, spend
a whole week with me in a bus and so

(04:02):
after you get to know me personally and here you
know kind of their critique of the podcast and just
how much they like it and they love our our banter.
And it just always makes me smile because it's you know,
two years and almost to this thing, and and it
does feel like you and I have have helped create
something really awesome. So anyways, I feel very blessed right now.
I feel very full, uh, and I'm very excited about

(04:25):
what's to come, not if you're generous, but almost famous.
Do you feel a lot of that full happiness because
you brought your lady jess I did. Yeah, I think so,
she you know, so yeah, no, no, I know. So,
So this is what happened actually, and and Jessica is
going to come on the podcast here today and just

(04:48):
a little bit and talk with both of us. Ashley's
gonna griller. I mean, there's nothing to grill, um. But
you know, when Jesse and I started dating, um uh,
you know in early February or early December. Really she
knew I was going on this trip, and she on
her own accord and said, hey, I just want this

(05:08):
for myself. I'm gonna sign up, um if you're okay
with me going. So it was just awesome for her
to invest into kind of one of the things that
I love and uh, and for her to choose to go,
and so she came down for the three days of
the trip and got to meet everybody, and uh, and
we just kind of got to take a week away
as we announced that that we are dating, that we're

(05:30):
happily dating, that things are good, and I'm excited for
the world to get to know her because she is
she's a really special person. Okay, everybody freaked out last week.
Everybody was so excited for you. And I think Jess
gained sixty thousand Instagram followers. Like, that's how many people
are eager to know about the lady in your life.
I know, isn't that crazy? She she told me. She's like,

(05:52):
what can I because Jess has a story to tell
and it's not mine to tell. But Jess's story of
how she's gone to where she's at and the things
that she's kind of worked through in her life, uh,
is incredible. I mean, the woman she is today is
something special and so uh she was like, you know,
what is going to happen? And she is not a
social media person at all. She she likes it. She

(06:14):
does it for what she needs it for. Um. But
then when the followers started creeping up, she was like,
what in the heck do I do? And I was like,
I think you just keep being yourself. Um. But yeah,
that was a big day for her, a big day
for us. Uh, And it's exciting. I mean, I want,
it's always exciting when somebody can have a platform to
speak on things they love. And I think now Jeff
definitely does and I'm happy to show her off to

(06:36):
the world, uh because I do think she, uh there's
somebody that everybody will enjoy and appreciate. And you know,
I say often that I like people because I think
I do right like I do, but those days that
I do not, Um, she legitimately likes people, like legitimately
cares a ton about each human being she comes into

(06:59):
contact with and like emotionally invests into them. And so
I mean that is the type of person that everybody
needs to know. And I know that you wouldn't be
so open and public about her if you didn't see
a future. Oh yeah, definitely. I mean, you know, it
hasn't been very long. And I don't want to put
a ton of pressure on us because I don't know
if that's fair. But I would never um put a

(07:19):
relationship out there that I didn't feel like could handle it.
One and that was healthy enough to be sustained, and
then also one that I think people need to know about.
I'm not going to freak out and you know, start
saying crazy things and act like this is the the
end all be all. Yet you're not gonna You're not
gonna pull Tom Cruise and jump on the couch right now. No, No,

(07:42):
but this is so good, Ash, it really is. And
I'm excited for her to come up podcast. I'm actually
uh so smiling. You guys get to see him on FaceTime,
Skype or whatever. He's like so like he's God Like
all the smile wrinkles right now. It's like his face
kind of hurts. It's so I agree. So this is
everybody out there listening. Actually you have to hear this.

(08:02):
She goes, this is our text through the day. I said, Hey,
you ready for the big interview to seet today shows?
Probably not? Do I get the questions you're gonna ask beforehand?
Or am I good? Just to win? I said, just
win it, be yourself, will be great. I'll help you out.
She goes, Okay, don't embarrass me or anything. I said,
we will see shows. We're a team. If I embarrass myself,
I embarrass you. So that's so cute. All right, let's

(08:25):
get closer to this interview. First, we're gonna do the
show recap, the hometown recap, and then we're going to
get into Jess. I feel like everybody out there is like, Okay,
I'm going to fast forward until Jess and then I'll
come back again. But you cannot, you guys, Let this
the the tension build, build a suspense. It'll be so fun. First,

(08:47):
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(10:39):
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the nutrition information totally free. Again, just text almost Famous.
You got to do the breakdown Hometown Week, one of
the craziest weeks out there in Bachelor Nation. Colton Coltine
like the guy at least if I'm a father that
I would like to come home with my daughter. I
think he's gonna fine here. Oh yeah, he's kind of

(11:46):
like you. I mean a lot of people have been
comparing him to you. He's the best bachelors in Spen. Higgins.
He gives that warm, wholesome vibe. He walks into your
house and you're like, Okay, this guy, he's like every
father's dream, right. Do you agree with that comparison? Yeah?
I do? Yeah, Yeah, you think he has He's got

(12:09):
those vibes. He has those warm, fuzzy vibes. He's well spoken,
he doesn't seem like he can do any harm. Okay,
And you know how in this episode, Cassie shows a
lot of she's very unsure. I feel like she's unsure him.
She's the only one that hasn't said I'm falling in
love with you. I think it's because she may like

(12:31):
a guy who's a little rougher around the edges. I
think she wants more of a bad boy really like
he's too he's too we're not gonna say soft, a
soft and good word to use. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know if Coltman wants to call him soft.
He's like really approachable. He doesn't invoke any nerves from her.

(12:54):
I think that she's like actually like it's like so
comfy to be around him, and she may want a
guy that's going to make her a little bit more
nerves she's a little more intimidated by m hmm. Okay,
well let's let's jump in here. We've got four women
here still in the show, Kalin, Hannah, ge Uh, Tasha,
and Cassie. Well, Calin is no longer here after this episode,

(13:15):
but but for this episode, we're breaking it down. Shows
up to Klin's house in Virginia. Here's what here's my takeaways, Ashley,
I want you to chime in here her you know,
her father is not in the picture, her stepdad is there.
Her stepdad. To me, it just comes off as this
dude that is so loving, like he just wants Kalin

(13:39):
and the rest of the family to know how much
he loves her. And so when Klin sits down with
him and says, these are some of the moments in
the show where you're like, okay, finally, like you have
an opportunity to let somebody know how much you mean
to him. And Klin does that by saying, You've always
been my dad, and I love you. You've been the
best dad. And you just see this guy like he
doesn't even know how to respond this and was such

(14:00):
a cute little mush It was that was really that
was my favorite Kalin moment. This is one of my
favorite kalent moments. It was a good one. Now you know,
the hometown dates are always interesting. There's not a lot
to talk about here because Colton walks in, he meets
the family. There's a lot of them to meet. I mean,
there's a ton of family members meet her. Her stepdad
is kind of the picture of what we're focusing on

(14:23):
is a step back in a light Colton is he not?
And the step that is just a much like he's
a great dude. You can tell he loves uh this
family so much. But actually I gotta ask, okay, so
that we can build on this here. This is obviously
the episode that Kalin goes home. So leading up to
this point, Kalin went for being a front runner. Uh.

(14:45):
Calin obviously was vulnerable. Um. She shared the depths of
her pains uh with Colton and how she's been a
survivor and is a survivor. But outside of out of
side of those things, what happened in there relationship because
you could kind of tell that this was the end
for Calin before the episode even started. You you saw

(15:06):
that episodes started, I think so I think you knew
out of all these girls that Kalin was the one
that was definitely on the chopping block. Um that something
had to change here, and after this first date, I
thought that not enough happened to prove even though she
shared that she was falling for him, to prove that
that she was going to be around. What's happened in

(15:28):
their love story or their dating story that kind of
made them separate. I think there's just a lot of
I think it just came to a Standzill. I think
that a lot of their conversations probably ended in her
like giggling and not getting too deep. I think that
he was like trying to get past the florty phase,
and maybe they didn't get past that giggly florty phase.

(15:49):
She I think it was a telltale sign when she
said I'm fully in love with you now, because she
said I'm falling last week and Colton didn't say anything back,
and with the other three this week he said he
said I'm falling in love with you two, which Ben,
is there really a difference between I'm falling in love
with you and I am in love with you? Because
you got so much crap on your season for saying

(16:11):
I love you to two women, but he's saying I'm
falling in love with three women. So it's a really
that much of a difference, you know, there there really
isn't And and actually, I think on this show, saying
I'm falling in love with you, maybe even in real life,
like in dating Sam, falling in love with you is
pretty much saying like I am in love with you
without actually saying the words. And I could be wrong.

(16:32):
And if I am pleasing email us. I've been an Ashley.
iHeart media dot com. But this is just my opinion.
I think every year, uh, you know, we've consistently seen
people tell people on the show, I'm falling in love
with you, which what they really want to say, what
you really want to say is I just absolutely adore
you or I love you. The funny part about this
and Colton did what every bachelor bachelor has ever done

(16:54):
in the history of the world, is once you get
in an awkward scenario, what do you do with Klin
He didn't feel it, he didn't want to do her.
Good on, good on Colton, he did not. He kisses her.
He leans in for the big smacker rou that that
is the universal bachelor language for this is getting awkward
and I don't want to keep it getting confed. I
will say, like, if you do this in real life,

(17:15):
would you ever have like phase of one where you go,
I'm falling in love with you, and then like a
month later you go, I am in love with you? Like, no,
you just wait until you are in love. Yeah, you
don't like tease it, like, well, why are you really
in love with me? I don't know, but I'm falling.
I'm almost there. Because you don't have the urgency in
real life, like you don't have to say it at
a certain point like now. If you're not saying it

(17:37):
by hometowns, it's like red flag, red flag. Like with Cassie,
people like, oh my god, she doesn't like him enough
to stay anymore exactly, Yeah, like, oh my gosh, she
doesn't love Colton. She's out, she cannot be the one,
like she's done. This is this is gonna get interesting
towards the end. Um. I do think that after that
day it was very clear that Caitlin was going home.

(17:59):
I actually, uh, just end the Calin segment here. When
I was with Colton in Denver, it was the week
before this, right, and uh we we went through every
single one of the woman that he had left. When
he got to Kalin his he was very into her,
very excited about her, said that they related on a
lot of levels. They had a very good conversation that
wasn't shown obviously on the show, but he was like,

(18:19):
I'm really really into Kalin, and so once I watched
last week and this week, Uh, it was surprising to
me how much I felt like his feelings had changed
in just a week and a half after speaking with
him in person. Wait, so, Ben, I remember when I
was like, give me the dirt. You met with Colton
this week in the middle of taping a season, and
you pretty much said that you thought that that Calin

(18:41):
was going to be it. I did fit after seeing
it in his eyes, Like it was like he had
a relationship with Calin that was so peaceful, comfortable, understanding
and supportive, and that's kind of how he explained. I
was like, well, that's your wife, Like that's it, and
and something changed. Now obviously I haven't had a chance
to talk him about it, and and I haven't asked
those questions, but I remember very clearly, like you said,

(19:03):
I came back saying this, Kalin whoever she is, she's
one to watch out for. I know, because I remember
I could think I could say it now, but you
were like, she tells the story of sexual assault and
it kind of gives more detail into his virginity, and
then you're like, and I think this might be the
girl for him. Yeah. Like they were able to immediately
relate and interact on a whole new level, like a

(19:25):
deeper level, one that I don't know. I don't know
Colton's who he's told, who he hasn't. I mean, obviously
now he's told millions of people, but before this, I
think it was hard for cold and open up. And
I felt like he could with Kalin, which builds the
foundation obviously for anything in the future. So a little shocking.
My front run at the beginning of the season is

(19:46):
now gone, leading into maybe my front runner now. Hannah
Gee Hanna Geez from Alabama and she's got manners. We
saw this week that she wants a man that has etiquette.
She takes Colton to an etiquette class. You know, here's
the thing. These hometown dates are always fun for me

(20:08):
because you get to see a little bit more about
the person and who they are. I felt like Hannah, geez,
just kind of date idea of the etiquette class was
good and cute and fun, but it didn't help me
get to know her and all is that's something that
she does like on the side, is she? I mean,
at the end of the episode she rapped for us.
Why not take him to a rapping class? I don't know,
but she did so good at the rap and I

(20:29):
think that we saw the most personality from her we've
ever seen. That date seemed like the one that I
would most like to be part of. I mean, not
the manners part, the hometown part, Like the family part
was like, Okay, this is the family that would most
like to hang out with. They seem the most comfortable
to be around. The one that was grilling him a
little bit less, well do you think? Yeah? I agree?

(20:53):
I mean her mom was the one in the whole
group that was distant, right, she didn't love this idea.
She was the most protective in the whole group. But like,
as the table kind of started talking, and especially in
the little blooper at the end that we watched, you
saw this table and it looks like a fun table
to sit around, Like that's the table I want to
drink wine, talk life, wrap with laugh with like no
judgment at that table. Uh, but you know, the Handah

(21:17):
G Colton relationship is one that I do think has legs.
She is still my front runner, um. But until the
very end of the episode, I still didn't see Hannah
G and Colton really laughed together. I just feel like
they make out a lot, which is great and that's fun,
and I get it, but I wanted to see a
little more depth and and so maybe we just haven't

(21:37):
been shown it. Yeah, I think probably. I mean you
get to see at the end of the episode how
there are so many fantastic scenes that get cut out,
so many scenes that do tell us more about their
personality that we don't get to see, And I think
that's unfortunate. If there's one thing I would change about
the format of the show is I just wanted to
be less like, let's talk about where we're at, let's

(21:59):
talk about my feelings for you, and I just want
to see what's made those feelings come about, because it
seems like that it seems like the wrapping scene, what
you're exactly right, Here's a part that blows my mind
about this date. The bread, the bread. Why would you
just put a little piece of butter on a big bread?
Why do you even do it at all? Do not
tell me that is the fourmal proper way to do things,

(22:22):
because I find that like disturbing. Are you kidding me?
You're going to like basically have to keep the butter
right there next to you. The butter tray is gonna
be right by you if you're doing that, and then
you're kind of, in a way double dipping, which is
totally anti manners. Who came up with this idea and
who sets the standard? Because I can tell you one thing.
If I'm out the dinner with a stranger and every

(22:43):
time they take a bite, they're also taking that knife
and they're even getting it within a centimeter of where
their saliva has just leaked off with a piece of bread,
I'm not in I'm done. Oh I would be so
grossed out if somebody did that on the first date
or like even like the first couple of dates. Oh
my god, I'm like, you're gonna keep doing that? I
am just distracted by you. Keep by you keep going
for the butter. No, I mean and secondly, and this

(23:08):
is this is one I have a strong feeling for
on a first day, right. I mean, I grew up
in a small town in Indiana. I'm here right now, um,
and it's a great town, great people. Etiquette is not
something that we practice very often. We try really hard
to have manners and be polite and kind and say
you're please and thank you. But if I'm ever on
the first date and i have a piece of bread

(23:28):
in front of me and I'm putting that bread in
my mouth, and and somebody looks at me and goes,
that's bad manners or that's not the right etiquette, I'm
going to be so fast out the door that you
won't even see me. I don't want anybody being that uptight. No,
that's true. I mean, you know, nap, get on your lap.
Sure if you're a nice enough restaurant, and that's like

(23:50):
a natural movement that. There are some kind of things
that I was just like, okay, this is too much,
and some things that I'm like duh. Her family is acceptable,
accepting of the idea. They support this relationship. I think
that we're seeing Ashley year of a year now. I've
been in it. Um, how hard it is. Hometown dates.

(24:11):
Hometowns dates made me so sick. I was sick to
my stomach every house before I went in, UM like sick,
sick to my stomach. And I think Colton was the
same way, because you're sitting down with a father and
at some point you actually do I mean, I knew
with Lauren like this is gonna be something like I
want to be able to tell her father she's it.
I can't because there's still some time left, but I

(24:34):
want to be able to tell the father this. And
it's so nerve racking. It's so hard because you're so
stressed out, and hometown dates are not easy. We watched
on TV and and for the first time, I think
it's one of the only weeks in the show. Hometown
dates are a lot more dramatic in person than they
are when you watch it back then. You just brought

(24:54):
up two things that I wanted to talk about. I
used to look forward to hometown dates the as a
couple of years that I watched The Bachelor. I thought
they were really interesting to see where they came from
and to see their families. And now I find them
so formulaic that it's the most boring episode of the
entire season to me. UM I'm like, Okay, I know
you're concerned she's gonna get hurt. I know you're being protective.
I get it. It's like the same every single hometown,

(25:17):
and it doesn't give me what I want. What I
want is to see like the personalities of them at
home and if they're going to drive with the family.
But like, we know you don't want to get hurt.
You don't you think it's weird to propose to somebody
that you've known for six weeks? So, Ben, that's what
I wanted to talk to you about asking permission. Why
does it have to happen at hometowns that seems like

(25:40):
such a production thing when you I think it would
be really nice. Is if you're like, I'm interested right
now and possibly marrying your daughter. Can I get your
phone number so I can call you in about two
weeks when I really have decided. Didn't you do something
like that? Didn't you call Lauren's dad? What made you call?

(26:00):
Lauren said it's something weird happened. Did he say no,
you don't have my permission? He didn't say no at all.
He was actually terrific about it, but he just said
been like, I can see that there's something here. But
I also don't want to treat this, uh in any
way that I wouldn't treat this in real life. If
you're serious about it, Like if this actually I don't
want you to talk to me and this maybe possibly
kind of talk. If you're serious about it and it

(26:22):
actually is my daughter, I want you to call me
and ask me. And I said I would love to
and so, um so I got his number and right
before I did, I did call him. And you can't
do that. It's it's a fair thing. I'm glad I did.
But yeah, I agree with you. I don't think there's
something weird about the language of Hey, your daughter is

(26:43):
really special to me and I really care about her.
But if I'm in this at the end and she's
in this at the end, then possibly maybe I'm gonna
fall for your daughter. It's like, what are you talking about, dude?
Just call me if it's a thing, and I'll tell
you then, Like, I know, why can't why can't we
do every season the way you did it? I think
Laura and said, I got it right, that's perfect. Well
he's a smart guy. He was a smart guy. Um, alright,

(27:04):
So moving on here, Tasha. Tasha has this joy and
this bubblinus about her, and she also pulled one of
the moves that I would hate the absolute most if
I was dating Casia on this show. Colton has been
traveling all across the country this this week. During the show,
he's in houses back to back to back, and he
gets out and she literally pulls out all the stops
by making him have a date with one of his

(27:27):
biggest fears, which is jumping out of a plane. That
is one of the things I It's one of the
reasons actually that I'm not kidding when um when they
asked a few years ago or a year ago, whatever
it was, if I consider coming back, My thought was,
I made it a whole season without after jumping out
of anything. I don't want to go back, Like I
know that's coming, and could him to do it twice

(27:47):
he had to bungee jump, which I would not do.
I need to jump out of a plane, which absolutely
freaks me out. Yeah, when they had that shot of
the back of the plane opening and you see the ground,
You're like, holy moly. In that moment you have to
be like, I'm going to lift my feet up and
fall like no way, I'm not doing that well, I was.

(28:08):
What I'm confused about is a couple of weeks ago,
he and Tasia I went bungee jumping, so she was like,
I'm going to do part two of this day and
now we're going to jump out of a plane. It's
we didn't. We didn't acknowledge on the bungee jumping episode
that she was a fan of falling down. No, they
never said that that the bungee jumping was the thing
that you want to do. She actually seems scared of it,

(28:29):
and then all of a sudden she is in adrenaline drunkie.
Is so intense ash I hate every second is I'm
watching Colton's face and you can see you can really
see in Colton's face that it's like I don't want
to be a good Batchel like I don't want to smile,
I don't want to be here. I know I have
to do this, but I am so scared. His face
looked terrified. I know, and I don't know. It's just

(28:51):
kind of it's it was, is does she like having
these adrenaline field dates because maybe she thinks it bonds
them together more? Was this her little mec is them
to be like, oh, the endorphins will make us fall
more in love. I do like Tassia, and I do
think she's good for Colt because she does bring him
out of his show a little bit. And so we

(29:11):
have to ask. Then Tassa's dad did not give permission
immediately to Colton m to marry his daughter. I like
this move. I think I think like now, kind of
like you were saying earlier, we watched scenarios like this.
I'm like, oh my gosh, Tassia's dad is like, you know,
the enemy here, and he's so mean and he's so
you know, tough. But I watched and I go, I

(29:32):
get it, Like he just loves his daughter. He's taking
this seriously. He's saying Tassia, like, come on, like, if
this is a real thing, didn't you ask? But right
now I'm not giving my permission. Yeah, this is I
guess this is the second. This is the first time
dads have been asked since I've been engaged. And you know,
Jared asked my dad, and I would want it no

(29:54):
other way. I love that tradition. But watching this back,
I felt it in a different way, of course, because
it's something that I've lived through, and I would not
want my dad to give permission if there's three other
girls in the picture. Not at all. No, it's just
seems weird and it seems soft. So it doesn't feel
like that there's enough credibility behind the relationship yet to

(30:16):
ask that question. So finally we have Cassie, who has
been a friend owner in our eyes ash since the
very beginning. We we like Cassie. She's absolutely gorgeous, She's smiley.
I'll be honest. At the beginning of the season, I
thought I was very interested in Cassie and intrigued because
I thought that she might be one of those girls
that came on for maybe just just based on her
family history and kind of her Instagram, and I was like,

(30:38):
you know, maybe she's not here for the right reasons.
She's definitely here for the right reason. Her sisters dating
a celebrity. Do you know who he is? I forget who? Yeah,
I looked up his pictures. Good looking fellow, um, good
looking guy. And she's been on a reality show before.
I just want to explain why we thought possibly wrong
reasons iron Yeah, I mean she stood out to us,
It stood out to me at least the beginning, like,
all right, the background kind of points to something that

(30:59):
we've seen before, and it's it's not being here for
the right reasons. Now we definitely, I definitely believe she is.
She's into it, she's being honest with Colton, she's not
overly explaining how much she feels. She's not lying to
him and her family. Her family is the one that's
the hardest on Colton. How did you perceive this situation?
It was What stands out to me is one and

(31:21):
her dad didn't give permission, which I thought was totally
fine what I just said, Um, but the sister really
the solo session between her and her sister made me
feel interesting. It made me feel like Cassie was like, Yeah,
I think my sister knows I'm not feeling this enough

(31:41):
right now. I think she knows me well enough to
know what I would look like if I was totally
head over heels and in love. And I think she's
catching me right now. What did you think that was?
That was the moment for me sitting on the back.
Agree with everything you said there. So let me ask
you and every be out there listening, just take a
second and think about this say that is where Cassie's at.

(32:01):
Say that she's not head over heels in love, but
say she's very interested in Colton. She cares a ton
about Colton. She likes him, and she wants to see
where this is going. Is it fair for her to
stay in it till the end if her feelings aren't
maybe that oh my gosh, this is it. I'm done marriage,
let's go. Well, she was saying that she thought her

(32:21):
family was going to be a deciding factor in that,
you know, when she was out by the beach, she goes,
I'm hoping to get more answers later, and then they
sit outside the house after the family meeting and Cassie
is still like I got the answers that I needed
and he's like, on, what has that made you feel?
And she was like, it feels a guy need to
digest things a little bit longer. And he's just like suit,

(32:42):
you can tell like his heart's just sinking in this moment,
and he's like, I cannot believe this is happening. Like,
you know, he's the probably the girl that he wants
to hear it from the most because he's so attracted
to her. But I mean, I think you're seeing it. Yeah,
you're spot on. But Ben, do you think that he's
so attracted and so into her because he's she's giving
him the least because he likes the chase of it all. Yeah,

(33:05):
it's like something he can't have. And I know that's
been something with Colton in the past, like in real life.
Is you know he likes what he can't have a
little bit, so um, maybe, you know. I think that
there is that element to it. And I also think
that if we were honest with ourselves, it's been a
few weeks now that Cassie is definitely the front runner.

(33:26):
If we're just looking at from who is Colton? Who?
Does Colton want to make it work with the most?
But the truth is, I'm interested in the next few weeks.
If she doesn't reciprocate the feelings, say she leaves. I mean,
we have a couple of huge weeks in front of us.
We've seen previews for a while. There's something weird that's
gonna happen. If she doesn't reciprocate the feelings. Does Colton
even stay around? I mean at this point, is he
just trying to make it work with Cassie and just

(33:48):
kind of going through the other relationships to do it,
or he's continuing to keep his mind open just in
case Cassie isn't into him. I don't know. Here's where
the show to me. Um, I don't know what the
right thing to do here is. If I was Colton
or Cassie, I would assume Cassie needs to stick it out.
She's to figure out if she's into a not and
which she's not. She needs to leave on her own accord.

(34:08):
If I'm Colton and I'm only interested in Cassie and
I haven't kept my mind open to the other women,
then if Cassie leaves, do you do? Do you just
in the show? Is that what happens? I feel like
right now she's a front runner, but she's not a
front runner enough for me to think that that Colton
isn't genuinely interested and he's just going through the motions
with the other girls. Okay, Um, But I do think
Cassie's getting to a point where it's almost wrong to

(34:31):
be staying around. And it's weird because last week, when
she was defending herself against the allegations that Kerpa and
Tasha were throwing, she was like, I am here for you.
I am into uba blah. And then all of a
sudden this week it's like, I'm not sure where I'm at. Yeah,
she's I don't I don't see this be She's not
like sold on Colton at all. No, and she should

(34:52):
have been way more honest. Last week she was like,
I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going. But
then this week I felt like she was more like, Okay,
I really should probably make a decision soon. I don't know.
I really I don't think she's being completely honest with
herself right now, but I do. I would probably say
I'd give her a little bit longer it out. Would

(35:13):
you if I definitely would Would you want if a
girl in on your season came to you this week
going into Fantasy week week, would you wanted her to
say I'm not in love with you yet, I'm still
trying to get there, or would you be like, Okay,
that's a red flag that I need to let her
go now, you know, Ashley, that's such a good question.

(35:33):
I think, if I'm sitting there and the one that
I'm most interested in, or if the front runner of
my eyes, the one that I could see a future
with is, and I'm sitting there pouring my heart out
to her, knowing I'm almost towards the end. I'm so
close and I found somebody that I want to have
a life with, and she's looking back at me, going,
I just don't know if I'm there. Not only does
it shake your confidence a lot, right, I mean you

(35:55):
have to have confidence in the situation as the bachelor
bachel atte because there's so many things swirling around you
at once, and you're you're you know, you're dating so
many people, so it would definitely hurt your confidence. It
makes you question everything. Um. But all I would ask
from her, and I don't know if I'd be prepared
for it would be to be as honest as possible
with me so that I don't set myself up for
embarrassment and failure. The worst thing that could happen in

(36:17):
this moment, the worst thing as a bachelor bachelor as
if you think this person loves you, you think you
you know you love them, you know yourself, and you
get down one knee and they say, I'm sorry, I can't.
Is that the worst thing? Or is it worst to
end up being with somebody who does say yes? Or
your proposal but didn't really mean it. I don't wish that.

(36:39):
I don't wish that upon anybody. Yeah, that might be worse.
I think that's worse. Actually, yeah, that's the worst thing.
The second worst will be getting down one knee and
being embarrassed. But I would hope that if somebody didn't
mean it, they would have left before that day. Yeah. Um,
But I think my big takeaway from Cassie's date hometown
date was that I think he likes the chase, and

(36:59):
I think there is a part of him that is
scared deep down to be completely in mutual love with somebody.
And I only say this because it is something that
I think I was very scared of ununtil the Bachelor
process kind of knocked it out of me. And I
always said that, like, I think I'll always end up

(37:20):
if like, if a guy ever ended up liking me
and then I liked him, and then he ended up
liking me and we were like got to the point
where we could be in a real relationship, I would
push him away and I'd be like, I don't like
him anymore. Gross, I don't like him. And I said
the one time that I go, I know that I
will find my husband. I know my husband will be

(37:40):
the one guy that I don't push away when it
becomes mutual. And that's what happened. And look at Jared now. Uh,
it's it's gonna be an interesting last couple of weeks.
We've got a lot ahead of us coming up on
on this show and up on Colton's season. Also, we
gotta start talking who's gonna be the next bachelor at
I think we wait till next week to do that.
Right now, my front runners for Colton are handah gee,

(38:03):
because I don't think Cassie makes to the end than Cassie,
than Tassia. Uh what do you think? I think that
I saw some stuff at Women Tell All last week,
like the fence jump, which makes me tell you confirmed
to you, this is the most dramatic season you have

(38:24):
ever seen of my ten years of watching this show.
I it was I was so entertained. You guys, you
are in for something. No matter whether you think you've
been spoiled or whether you think the fence jump is
not going to live up to the expectations, because it
has just been previewed over and over again this season.
I swear to you you're going to be satisfied, and

(38:47):
more after the fence jump happens next week, satisfied as like,
are you serious? Yeah? And I got permission to tease that,
so I don't even feel guilty telling you guys, so
like does this I mean, actually, you've got everybody on
the edge of their seats right now. In the next
I don't know, two episodes, you were at a woman
tell all, so we didn't see the whole shebang. Usually

(39:10):
they show us a lot more than they showed us,
but the part that they showed of the fence jump
makes you be like, whoa, whoa. This is the most
ramatic season matter And and be honest here that's the
last question I don't want to think too deep. Is
it a facade? Is it fake? Or is this a
real like a real emotional reaction from Colton to jump

(39:33):
a fence. It's such a it's like a frenzy like
came over him and he didn't know what to do
and he just needed to escape, and like that was
what he did. Like it's truly an escape. And and
I saw it with the whole room of press and
everybody was just floored. But also it had me being

(39:54):
like I don't know how I'm going to not talk
about this for the next days, like next ten days,
because there was like a friend see coming over me
being like, oh my god, I must dissect this. I
must talk, I must talk. But I keep saying to
my friends and my family, I'm like, it's it's worth
the moment which you're gonna see it, So I don't
want to tell you, Like I don't want to tell
you because I want you to see it the way

(40:16):
I saw it. Gali, g We've got a couple of
big weeks ahead of us. Uh. We also have a
huge episode ahead of us, um the one the only
Jessica Clark is coming up next. But before we do,
Ashley tell us about your favorite bra. Oh my gosh,
you guys, we've gone so close. I don't I don't

(40:38):
even feel uncomfortable with this, Like my sister, it's weird.
I don't know, come on, go ahead. My sister actually
has always talked about how my bra rides up in
the back like it's supposed to be like a flat line,
but for me, it's always like a rainbow at the
top of it. And she's like, you're not it's not
the right size. Well, I discovered it. I actually wasn't
because my half size. According to Third Love, Third Love

(40:59):
is an amazing bra company. Third Love uses data points
generated by millions of women who have taken their fit
finder quiz to design bras with breast size and shape
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Love has more than seventy sizes, including their signature half

(41:21):
cup sizes. So I discovered by taking their fit finder
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like a very small size or you're a really big size,
and you feel like you can't find the perfect fitting
bra in the department store or at a their bras
store seventy sizes, I think you'll find one. I think
you will find one at third Love. All you gotta
do is answer a few simple questions to find your

(41:42):
perfect fit in sixty seconds, and you just take the quiz,
you order, and you try it on at home, and
there will be no more awkward fitting room experiences. Whenever
I go buy a bra the mall, I'm like, what
do you mean You're gonna fit me for a bra?
That seems like really personal? So you can skip that
step and just oh to third Love's fit Finder quiz.
You'll have sixty days to wear it, wash it and

(42:05):
put it to the test, and if you don't love it,
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(42:26):
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(42:49):
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b E dot com slash famous for off You're brought today. Okay,

(43:11):
So I know that you and Jess live a prey
healthy life. I just I just had a bread and
tender lane sandwich in French rise for launch. But for
the most part, yeah, all right, Well, if you want
to add to that health, you should probably have just
try ritual. I mean, Ritual's kind of a woman's vitamin,
so that's why I make suggesting it for her and
not for you. So no matter how many times we

(43:35):
try to eat all the kale salads and drink all
the greens movies that we can, sometimes we are still
not getting all those essential nutrients that we need on
a daily basis. So that's where ritual comes in. There
are the obsessively researched vitamin for women. Ritual essentials have
the nutrients that most of us don't get enough of

(43:56):
from our food because a lot of times we don't
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(44:18):
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(44:38):
needs and it's delivered every month, no strings attached. I'm
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I want to look I want to look good, and
that means I want to have glowing skin and I
know that these nutrients are going to help me get that.
And um, just in case I'm on the road and

(44:59):
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(45:21):
ritual started today. That it's ritual dot com slash famous.
We just got done talking about hometown dates, and now
we're gonna start talking about my favorite hometown date, the one,
the only. Jessica Clark. Hey, Hey, it is so good

(45:43):
to hear your voice. I have been asked so much
in the past week if I've met Ben's new girl,
and I'm like, no, but I'm going to meet her
on the podcast next week. If this counts. I think
it counts because I'm going to ask you some real questions,
some questions I would probably ask you if I was
sitting across from you at dinner anyway, and have your
permission to do so, you can grill this girl. Okay, Well,

(46:06):
my first question is for both of you. Ben, you
found her on Instagram. You slid into her d M S.
I think you've talked about that on the podcast already.
My question is, how did you come across her Instagram?
Because she's not an influencer, she doesn't have a crazy
amount of followers I did. This is the weirdest thing
I've ever heard. Somebody told me this week that eighty

(46:27):
weeks ago, Wells Adams liked one of your pictures, Jess
and people want to know whether there's any connection there
as to you coming across our profile or is that
just a Nashville connection connection, an old Old Miss connection
because you went to Old Miss, Ben, do you like

(46:51):
have a grudge against Wells right now for for this?
You think he was trying to hit on her? No,
there's so much to this story, so much here, right,
And I just got a text last night. Actually Ashley
Chris Strandberg knows Jessica. But here's a deal. Jessica has
never ever dated, nor has she kissed any other Bachelor people.
But here's here's the backstory of all this. So jess

(47:13):
went to Old Miss with Wells Manning and Eli Manning. Yeah,
good for you. And so when I first started talking
to jess I texted Wells because I saw that we
both followed her, And I said, what do you know
about this Jessica Clarker And he goes, I know she's
beautiful and if you're talking to her, you're a lucky guy.

(47:35):
And so, um, I don't think jess tell me if
I'm wrong. But there's no like really backstory to you
and Wells' relationship, right, No, No, you guys want to
Old Miss like a decade apart though, So how'd that come?
Across How that comes about? I mean, I was, I
guess it was just one of those things I honestly

(47:55):
couldn't tell you. I mean, he was keeping up with
the you girls at all. Miss alright, alright, so then Ben,
how did you come across her Instagram? Yeah? So it's wild,
It's so funny. Um, here's a true story. I've kind
of held back on it for a little bit. But
I was in uh, Nashville for fundraiser for Humane Hope

(48:18):
Night died, and we were doing this massive fundraiser, and
it was in August of two thousand and eighteen, and
I was staying at a hotel downtown right by the
Predator Stadium. And so what happened was I was checking
in and there's a whole sports team checking in as well,
and there are big dudes, and I knew they're like professional,
but I didn't know who they were. None of them

(48:38):
have like any type of like logos on or anything.
And so I go to my room and I got
on Instagram and I looked up the top post because
I figured whoever was staying there had posted that they
were in Nashville or posted like there nearby. Well, so
when I got on the top post section of my location,
which was the hotel. Jessica's picture popped up because she
was at the Nashville Predator her game with her dad,

(49:01):
and I was just scrolling through and I saw this picture.
I was like, holy how this girl is gorgeous. Like,
so I clicked on her her profile and then I
was like, but what am I gonna do with this?
Like I'm not just gonna message her out of nowhere.
This is creepy and this is weird, but this girl's
gorgeous and so and in the most normal way possible,
I screenshot him her profile without knowing her, and I
kind of forgot about it. And and then six months

(49:24):
later or actually no, not a little bit under. So
I was in uh. I was an at home for Thanksgiving.
I was cleaning out my phone and I got back
on my phone. As I was cleaning out, I came
across the picture of game and I was like, you
know what. I was looking up her pictures and I
saw her profile and I saw the way she she
would comment on stuff, and I was like, you know what,
I'm just gonna do it, And so I message her
and I think, jess tell me if I'm wrong, but

(49:46):
I said something along the lines of, don't ask too
much of how I saw your profile. I can explain
that the dator, but if you're single, please message back.
That is so cute. It is also cute the way
you screenshot it. Then you went back and you're like,
I like her interactions. You felt so compelled, and I
think it was not because her just her appearance, but

(50:08):
like you kind of sensed a goodness from her, oh
just way. I mean, Jessica has this like just very
pure heart, and so yes, when you talked to her,
even for the first time, this is one of the things, Ashley,
that I think is so awesome. So jess and I
was just texting back and forth for I think three days,
and I had texted her one day like I'm stressed

(50:29):
out or there was something going on, or I asked
her some question from church that I was confused about.
And instead of just like texting back something small, she
voice messaged me and kind of like took I don't know,
forty five seconds to explain this topic that was really
kind of laid on my heart. And I was like, Yes,
this is the type of person that I want to
I want to pursue at the best of my ability.

(50:50):
That is so adorable. So, jess how did you Jess
or Jessica? Either one. I feel like most people just
call me Jess's shorter Jessicas formal Jessica Clark sounds like
a movie star name. Thank You've actually never gotten that before.
But yeah, most people will just call me jes Okay,
So what did you feel? What do you think when

(51:12):
you saw Ben Higgins slid into your d M s
Are you a Bachelor fan? Did you know who he
was or did you just see that blue checkmark and
think who is this? Um? Well, first of all, I
mean I didn't follow him or anything, and so whenever
I saw it, it was like Higgins dots in and
so I thought it might just be like a spam
or something, because I mean, you have everyone has heard

(51:35):
of his name, you know, just being on Instagram or
being a girl or whatever it may be. So I
thought it was just like some random spam account or
something miss doing me. So I didn't even check it
for a while, and then I went back and checked
it and I saw like the blue tech mark, and
I was like, this is interesting, and then kind of
looked and saw that it was him, and I was like, well,

(51:57):
I have no idea how he saw me because like
he says, like I was by no meat adam by
no means an influencer, any of those things. So I
had no idea how he fought my profile. So I, god,
will look curious and replied to his message, but I was, Yeah,
at first, I didn't even think it was real. So
you're not a Bachelor fan, You weren't like you wouldn't

(52:18):
freak out over You just thought it was a little weird.
Did you think it was cute? His approach, the way
he said, don't ask how I came across your profile? Yeah,
I thought it was really cute because like it was
just it was very unassuming. Um, which is I mean
still is one of my favorite qualities about Ben is
he's just so like humble and I feel like he

(52:40):
doesn't realize how great he is. But him just being like,
I don't even ask how I saw and you like
make you care. I don't know, it was it was
just very his whole approach to it. I need to
find exactly what the first message said because I remember
being like, this is hilarious and really cute. Did you
have a Bachelor. Do you have Bachelor fan friends who geeked? Yes? Actually, um,

(53:04):
some of my cousins listen to this podcast, so if
they're listening, given this doubt out, but yeah, I have
friends that are fans, and um, I got invited to
go watch The Bachelor denied one of my friends houses.
So yeah, definitely, Jess, you have to tell everybody out
there though, UM, be honest, because I originally was not

(53:27):
talking to you. Who was I talking to? Oh my
little brother really helped me out with replying to messages.
That's awesome. I think it's common because I talked to
more and more girls about this and tell them about
how I met Jess, and I was like, yeah, but
when I first semeshed her, she didn't know how to
respond everything, so she kind of let her brother help her. Um,

(53:50):
and girls like, oh, I do that, like my best
guy friend or whoever. It is, like, I would let
them message for me anytime, and guys trying to like
flirt with me. So I think that's common. It's really
really smart. But my sister always used to like crap
from my text too. I could never send a text
to a guy that I liked without having her approval. No,
you've got to dance office some people because like especially me,

(54:12):
then we'll tell you I have an interesting since it humor,
sometimes it's a little done, and so I feel like
I would have started to just like crack some joke
chair there and they wouldn't have landed very well. So
I had to have someone helped me out. It's hard
to have your first communication through text because you don't
have tone. You know, a lot of sarcasms cross. So

(54:34):
speaking of when did you guys get on the phone
and start talking to each other? Since that voice memo
really made an impact on him? Right after I sent
the voice memo, Okay, yeah, way to make an impression.
She took the first lead there. Yeah, she leaves a
voice memoh, and I was like, I cannot go any

(54:54):
longer without talking to her. Ashley, Uh, We've got a
lot more to ask Jessica. Jessica, this is part of
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of one dollars or more. All right, Jess, I got
some many more questions. Okay, all right, Well everybody has
been talking about the fact that you are so normal.
Is that is that like offensive? Or You're like, yeah,

(57:26):
I'm normal. Isn't it great? I mean normal? I mean like,
you're not famous, you haven't kissed multiple Bachelor contestants before you,
you didn't have a gigantic social media following before all this,
what do you do? Oh? Well, first of all, I
think that being normal is a compliment. I agrea talk

(57:48):
about this all the time. I feel like this saying
that someone is like normal is so rare nowadays that
I take that as a compliment. Um. But yeah, I
mean I have a full time job by work in
architectural lighting. So um, I'm in the sales department. I
meet with people and get their lighting packages for a

(58:09):
new construction. So good to construction sites too. It's just
a very It's a great job. Live in Nashville, and yeah,
I just have a very, like we said, normal life.
Former d one long distance runner. Wow, that's awesome. That

(58:30):
was just part of college so just for a little bit.
But do you guys work out together? Are you like
that couple? We haven't yet. The one time we had
the opportunity to, I had just gotten off the plane,
so I let be and do that on his own. Yeah,
she did. But I'm worried about it, ask because I
you know, we've talked about before. I pride myself on

(58:53):
my running abilities, or you know, I want I try.
I'm trying to do a trap on the next two months,
and uh, I bet Jess if we were to sprint
a mile right now, with what her times are, she'd
beat me by over a minute. Like you know how
discouraging that is when a five ft two person just
like sprints past you and just keeps going and you're
trying to catch up. If I don't need it like

(59:20):
that that, I can feel like, Okay, that's a little embarrassing,
but also it's kind of awesome that your lady can
beat you. She can tear me up. I mean, it
wouldn't even be close, and she would, she would dominate me.
And the thing is with jess because you can probably
hear through this interview, she just kind of like giggles
and smiles like I don't, I don't. She's competitive, very competitive,

(59:40):
but she's very like um sweet too, So I think
she would probably run by and just giggle and laugh
and smile, And I think that would make me so angry.
I probably would, I think, because I'm making that um so,
you know, as we talked about, Jessica has this like

(01:00:00):
crazy crazy like I mean, normal life, but it's not
much different actually if we break down than ours, right,
I mean, yeah, now we get to do podcasts and
stuff like that, but our lives have kind of gone
after the show, everybody's life kind of goes back to
normal per se um, and so for me, it's just
awesome to be able to meet somebody that isn't having

(01:00:22):
massive expectations for where life needs to continue to go.
She's just she's really content and excited about wherever life
is taking us. That's awesome. So Ben lives in Denver.
You live in Nashville? Are you born and raised there? Well?
I was born in Atlanta, but I mean it's natural spot,
so I play Nashville at home first. Okay, So I mean,

(01:00:45):
I know we were only three months in two year
OLS relationship, and I don't want to like ask when
there's like a move happening. That's way too early to tell.
But who's doing the most traveling? Is it equals be
always coming to you? Are you always being sent to Denver? Bye? Ben? No,

(01:01:05):
it's been pretty equal. I feel like, um, we've definitely
done a good job of kind of going to both
places and spending some time in each other's tones, and
then we got to go to Hunters the other office.
So I would say at this point we've done a
equal travel for sure. Ben. You know, I agree, we've
been equal. She's definitely put in more work, I think

(01:01:27):
towards traveling, just because I've been gone and my schedule
ge is crazy, and so it's hard for me to
bounce around. But we have. I mean, I've made it
to Nashville, met her family, stayed with their family a
few few days, got to meet her her dog, Penny,
who's who's just a sweet old dog. Um. And it's working.
I do think this, and for anybody out there listening,

(01:01:48):
any advice on long distance relationships would be incredibly helpful.
So email us have been an Ashley I heart media
dot com. But long distance hasn't been easy in the
sense of, hey, I want to see this girl, I
want to hang out with this girl. I want to
screwed me my family and my friends. And we're trying
to do our best at that. But when a life
is already busy, it's really hard to find, you know,
two or three days and then travel again even though

(01:02:10):
you want to. So we're trying to get better at it.
I'm trying to get better at it and kind of
figure out how to do it well. But yeah, so far,
I think it's been very even or equal. But we
definitely have had gone a month without seeing each other
and I don't that's not ideal for me. That's what
I was going to ask is how long has too
long been? And how how much is the goal time
to see each other? Just how you want to see me?

(01:02:34):
I mean, well, we're honest every day. But realistically, she's
been smiling. This is entire interview. I truly have not
ever seen Ben this happy. She's great. Um oh yeah
it realistically, I feel like after two weeks is when

(01:02:55):
it really gets hard. And whenever we went a month,
it has been seeing each other, what three weeks, three
weeks in a row that time, right, yeah, and then
we went a month about seeing each other, so that
was like the work, So we can't have that happen again.
How often do you FaceTime? Sorry, I'm getting to the
nitty gertie, Oh what we say? Time every day? Probably? Yeah,

(01:03:18):
it's I mean, honestly, FaceTime is really great. We Jessica
has a really good friend whose husband is in the
military and he, you know, gets deployed for months at
a time, and so we met with them for dinner
one night. We're kind of asking them how they do
it because he's gone and sometimes they can't talk for
weeks on end. And I think the what we found
out is that FaceTime is the saver. Like it is.

(01:03:40):
I mean, it's such a benefit now the relationships that
you can still see the person, you can still interact
with them, but you know, it's still better to be
around them. But yeah, I think we FaceTime every day
and there's no reason not to. Yeah, I don't think.
Uh now, I know Ben said that there was the
moment where he was like, I want to I didn't
want to go after this girl, you know, I would
really want to pursue her, which was when you sent

(01:04:02):
that voice memo. In real life, was there a moment,
like a bonding moment in which you guys said, Okay,
this is gonna be something serious. Do you remember our
conversation like that that you're willing to talk about. Ben's nodding,
But I don't know. If you want to keep it private,
that's fine, Jesse, what are you gonna say? Uh? You know,

(01:04:25):
Jessica came out to Denver for the first time and
what happened was ash is We. It was a night
of Ashkara's opening, so the restaurant opening was the same
night and the night before I've been working all night
trying to get set up for the restaurant open up.
And I had texted her was like a Thursday, and
I said, Jess, we would talk for three weeks at
this point four weeks. It's getting it's great, it's good. Um,

(01:04:48):
I feel like I know you really well, but I'm
just tired of just talking to you. I need to
get you out here. And I said, how about you
book a flight and flight out here tomorrow and so
she did. Um, she agreed and she flew out and
then I had the I started opening. She didn't land
and get to my house till it's probably close to midnight.
So I was tired and had been at the restaurant opening.
And I walked outside and she's standing there and we

(01:05:10):
like embraced and we hugged, and she came inside. Um,
we just started talking again and it was so comfortable,
so amazing, and I felt like I know this knew
this girl so well, and she was even more beautiful
in person than she was on FaceTime or through Instagram whatever.
That was like that was a moment for me that
it just clicked that, Um, this was something special like

(01:05:31):
this was going to be something that I was excited
about for a long time. So for me, it was
at first interaction in person, which obviously feels fast, but
when you FaceTime and you're talk on the phone for
three and a half weeks straight, you really get to
know the person. I was gonna say, how nerve racking
was that for you just to like fly out to

(01:05:52):
a different city to stay over at a guy's house
that you had never met before, and you're like, Okay,
this is like that awkward moments like we kind of
know each other, but like we've never even felt each
other's skin, like we've never even touched. Well, it was
I mean, I wanted to see him so badly obviously,

(01:06:13):
so when he suggested, I was like all in, like
all about it. And then my flight got lit. My
original flight got delayed, so I got on another flight barely.
I made it by like thirty minutes. But I was
sitting in the airport and I was facetiming one of
my friends and she was like, have you thought about
like what you're getting, like catfish or something. I was like,

(01:06:35):
I was like, well no, because I was like this
time he was like if you're like, well, yeah, but
what if feel like going to the wrong house or something,
because like I mean, he had a dressmar opening, so
he wasn't taking up from the airport or whatever. And
I was like, I really haven't even thought about this.
And it was rightfaspar I got on the plane. When
I get on the plane and I land in Denver,

(01:06:56):
and I called in to tell him so I know
that I landed, and he didn't answer because he was
a restaurant is ny and it was I mean, it
was probably three minutes before he called me back, like
it wasn't very long, but I was on the airplane
and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm stuck in Denver.
I don't know anybody not answering his phone. Like my
friend was right, I was breaking out. So then when

(01:07:20):
he called me, and then he called me the whole
uber ride to his house and then when I saw him,
it was just like, I mean, the exact same thing.
It was like I've known him for forever, and um,
I wasn't nervous at all. It was immediately very very comfortable. Okay,
So then how did your first kiss him up come about?
Can I ask that? Yeah, you can ask that. How

(01:07:43):
did that come about? Um, as soon as you saw me,
it was Yeah. I think I walked outside and just
laid it. Yeah. Yeah, how romantic. I think it was romantic. Yeah,
I mean I thought it was drantic, mostly because when
I saw you, I was like, okay, do I make

(01:08:04):
a differ? I just say hi, and then he just
kiss me, so I didn't have to do either of them.
Oh my goodness, that's what happens when you date a bachelor.
Like what he's doing. He's not worried about kissing women
for the first time. He just made the grand move. Damn.
Then this went for it and she didn't say, all right,

(01:08:27):
well that is the best way to make that situation
not awkward. You're like, we do know each other, it
doesn't matter we've never been in the same room together. Okay. Um,
last question is that you were Ben seemed to moved
by that one voice memo, which seems to have come
about because it's something that he heard in church. Do
you share his faith because I know that's super important

(01:08:48):
for him to find somebody who does. Yes. I mean,
that was one of the first conversations he has and
I'm so thankful. I think Ben actually brought it up.
But I feel like that's just the foundation that if
you share your faith, don't share your faith, whatever your beliefs,
maybe you have to have that fundamental sounds like you

(01:09:08):
have to agree on these fundamentals, and then from there
you can build relationships. So we have the foundational belief
and from there you've been able to those relationships. Mm hmm,
that's true. I mean, I think the one thing and
Jess knows us about me, and I think most people
out there listening now, is my faith is is I mean,
I believe in Christ as much as I can and

(01:09:30):
and but what happens with that is my like life
has also been full of a bunch of doubts and questions,
and my mind kind of goes in a thousands of
correct directions, and it's hard for me to comprehend who
God is and what he's trying to do in the
specific moments. And Jess is just consistent. She's a great listener,
she's incredibly intelligent and able to talk through some of
those things. And and for me, that's just beyond exciting

(01:09:53):
that I have somebody that not only just like like
to laugh with and and joke with with it you
know when when I sit down, I mean, there's not
a day go by that I think I don't text
Jess like, oh, I'm struggling with this. I mean, I
honestly I struggle a lot. I think she's understanding that now,
and she just every time responds with like just such
patience and grace and understanding and just willing to just
let me like pour out whatever it is on my heart.

(01:10:15):
And so she definitely shares the same faith, and if anything,
she pushes me to explore like even closer relationship with
God than I have today. So yes, I have a
question for Jess. If you don't mind, it's hi Jeff.
My name is Marky. Have you been tempted to go

(01:10:37):
on Amazon Prime and watch Ben season? No, I don't
want to see him with a bunch of other girls.
I don't blame you, but I feel like you've just
curious to even watched the first episode, even just for laughs,
and how young he looks are, how silly things you
can make fun of him about. I don't know. I
don't know that I could was just a temptation. If
it was me, I haven't really thought about just watching

(01:10:58):
the first time. Maybe I would watch it with him.
You know that I can make fun of him. Can
I give you a suggestion just so you can fall
deeper in love with with Ben And I don't want
to like, you know, just boom the love word there,
but just go with it. Um, you should watch the
The Day on Caitlin Bristow season in which he gives

(01:11:18):
a sex talk to the kids in a like third
grade class. It is it's the moment that America, I think,
fell in love with Ben, when he became the perfect Ben. Yes,
and then you will be able. You won't see him
kissing her or anything. It's just like one scene just talking,
just talking about ovarias and semen and everything and you

(01:11:39):
definitely I would like to see how you present that
topic that could say a lot about you. It was
so good. It was improbably just before let you go,
because I know you've got a ton of lights to sell.
Um and uh, I want. I think it would be
on the podcast multiple times in the future, you know,
with all this happening right now, right mean, just let's

(01:12:01):
focus on the new relationship and everything going on in
our lives. You just down to Honduras and you get
to to see my life a little bit more, UM,
can you let all of our listeners out there, because
they're gonna be massive fans of yours. They're just gonna
love you so much. UM Like, if if all this
wherever this goes, what do you hope? What do you
hope your legacy is in this world? UM? I just

(01:12:24):
hope that people leave every interact with me, whether it
be on social media or in person or UM on
your podcast or whatever it may be, and they just
feel like it was a positive interaction. So whether that's
um all these people going to my Instagram page and
just be in that I live in normal life and

(01:12:46):
that makes them feel better about their normal lives, or
if um I can give an encouraging word or as
there someone in their space, or whatever it may be.
I just hope that people leave interactions with me feeling positive.
You are seriously a perfect match for Ben Higgins. I
am so excited to see where your relationship goes. And

(01:13:07):
I'm so happy to see this incredibly lit face that
he has the entire time he talks to you. So
thank you for coming on, Jess. I had way more
questions than I ever thought I would, and he's in
a good sport well, you can get my number from
then and you can ask me. Oh, I think I've
donne for now. I just I look forward to the

(01:13:28):
time that we actually can have us sit down dinner. Yes,
all right, we'll talk to you later. Thank you so much.
Than bye, Ben. Are you the cutest right now? Are
you just so happy? So I'm so proud of her.
She's so great. She's perfect for you. Yeah, it's wild.

(01:13:51):
She's really great. And I mean, if you just saw
the way that she interacts with people, like she said,
I mean, it's it's so inspiring and encouraging to me.
Like when I I think I've talked about on the
podcast before, one of my worst qualities is that I
dismiss people pretty quickly, Like if if something happens and
they maybe make me angry or I feel like they
aren't living up to my expectations, or they've said something

(01:14:13):
that does something like I dismissed them, and that's not good.
I don't like any second of that. And I'm I'm
combating that, and it's a struggle that consistently face um.
And it's amazing that when Jess like interacts with people
and I know they're doing things that maybe like upset
her or hurt her, they have said something to like
push make distance between them. She just leans in and

(01:14:34):
and try and goes farther into them and doesn't dismiss them.
She just loves them harder and more. And for me,
that's just such a a good example for me on
on how I need to deal with people and how
I want to deal with people. So, yeah, this Jessica
Clark girl, she's something special. That's the perfect compliment for you.

(01:14:54):
All Right, Hey, I don't know how we move on
to it, but we're to move on to it from
this with one of the wildest craziest stories to ever
occur in Bachelor Nation, a feud between Mike Fliss and
the Kardashians. Actually, Jared and I were like, we're not
getting into this because it's so many Bachelor people were,

(01:15:16):
you know, given their two cents on Twitter on Saturday night,
and I was like, yeah, no, I'm going to sit back, Dad,
You're embarrassing me, is what we joked. Oh, it's insane,
It's absolutely insane. So here, um, let's start out this
conversation as by giving a little background. We've got an

(01:15:36):
email from Katie. I read this article about a possibility
of Chloe Kardashian becoming the next Bachelor. Of having someone
so famous would change the field the show. In my opinion,
I could see it being really fun to watch. But
in Ashley, I'm dying to hear your thoughts. So, Ashley,
before we get into what happened okay with the feud
between Mike Fleiss and the Kardashians, what do you think?

(01:15:58):
Obviously this gets brought up because is Tristan Thompson has
um I guess cheated on Chloe Kardashian with one of
their best friends. Um that comes out in the news,
and now Mike Flye tweets Chloe Kardashian could be the
next Batch? Right? Do you like this idea? I mean,
if this was the case right now, let's say Chloe Kardashian,
or let's say Cardi B. Or whoever it is out

(01:16:19):
there that's famous and single. I don't know if Cardi
B's even single anymore? Do you like the idea of
them being the bachelor? At so? I understand people's point
of view when they say that they want like a
regular person, somebody who doesn't have all the fame and
fortune to get the opportunity. Totally get it. The only
reason that I like it is because we've followed Chloe's

(01:16:40):
love life for the past decade. We've seen her struggles
between her marriage with Lamar and now this second cheating
stint by Tristan, and I think like Chloe has always
been a rootable Kardashian. I think she's always been the
one that everybody like. Even if you're not into the Kardashians,
you you feel for Chloe. And I just feel like

(01:17:00):
it would be cool because even though most of us
have never met her, we still like we we feel
for her, and we feel like we know her, so
almost like watching like your friend from TV go and
find love. That's why I like it, But I understand
why people wouldn't like it too. And I also Chloe
doesn't want to be the bachelorrette, so I'm not I'm

(01:17:22):
not talking about her. You know, no, Chloe understand we are.
We're using this click fait, and I'm so sorry, actually
so protective enough, But I mean, here's actually, here's my concern.
There's ultimately an end in all of this. At some
point the show will end. How do you if you
have like a Kardashian or if you have somebody extremely

(01:17:43):
popular and famous as your bachelor or bachelor, how then
do you move on? You can't sustain that, and so
then does the show go back to the formatutes at now?
I mean, I feel like that's the beginning of the
end once you kind of have this massive name as
your front runner. Yeah, it's kind of like jumping the shark,
which is an expression when like the shows lose it.

(01:18:05):
So yeah, maybe go out with a bang, Maybe go
out with a celebrity, which would be kind of cool,
but probably keep it the way it's been for a while,
because look, you've gotten eighteen years of success from bringing
randoms to find love, So why messed the formula? I
agree you, Spie will kind of let this fade out,

(01:18:25):
that's my fear. But Ben, I think that the reason
that this became so hot was because it was such
a hot topic last week between you know, the whole
the whole Kardashian drama, but also it happened the day
after a big Bachelor episode in which people were feeling
like they don't have a clear front runner for Bachelorette
because so many of the raigning girls are twenty three

(01:18:47):
or twenty four and I think that people aren't going
to be okay with the twenty or twenty four year
old bachelor. And even though the season has been so compelling,
there isn't a clear front runner for Bachelor wrette. And
then it was like, oh wait, now we have an answer.
And that's why the Chloe thing picked up steam so fast. Well,
and obviously it's such a a creative idea. I feel
like Mike Fliss always knows what he's doing. I mean,

(01:19:09):
he just he knew what he was doing here. He
knew that this wasn't gonna be a thing, and it works.
So here, everybody out there listening, I'll give you a
little rundown. As we talked about Chloe Kardashian was rumored
to be and talk to me the next Bachelor at
by show creator Mike Fleiss. Mike Fleiss stayed very open
about this idea by tweeting about it on his Twitter saying, Hey,
I'm just here to help Chloe Kardashian find love. Um,

(01:19:32):
we're in talks with her mom. All of these things.
Batchelor Nation starts to jump on board with it. I know,
Tanner Tolbert tweeted, I know, Amanda Stanton tweeted both excited
about the idea and as this is happening, Chloe has
this response on her Twitter, I'm not effing clickbait right now,
stop or you will be hearing from my lawyers. How insensitive.

(01:19:54):
Kim Kardashian then tweets fake effing news big time. I
mean there he he did. I mean, think about all
the things said about them, think about all the news
that's ever spread about them, and they're actually personally responding
to this, which makes me think, Ashley, is this really
a thing? Like are they mad or are they all

(01:20:15):
on this together? No, they're mad because because Flace does
what he does, and he loves cryptic tweets that make
us all talk. I don't think he thought he was
going to get actually caught here, Like, I don't think
he think he thought they were going to go to
the next step, in which he says, how would Kim
Kardashian know this is between Chris Jenner and and and

(01:20:38):
most importantly Chloe Kardashian. Well, it's like, Mike, what do
you think they are a close family? We all know
they're close family and they're very uh together when it
comes to business. So Kim then responds with a screenshot saying,
are you guys in talks with the Bachelorette, And then
Chris goes no, L O L and then Chloe says, you,
I mean put some respect behind my game, which I

(01:21:00):
think all of us who are Kardashian fans in the
Bachelor family. But reading that and then let's see that
I didn't like it. Don't don't tell me to put
that that being in the Bachelor A bachelor isn't respectful.
I mean, you can make it respectful. There has been

(01:21:22):
people on the show that have not carried themselves with respect,
and I came off the show and had less respect respect.
But we're all people, no matter if you're a Kardashian
or a Kardashian West, or if you're Chloe or Kim
or Chris, or if you're somebody that got gets kicked
off on night one, you we are people. And I mean,
let's be honest, at the end of the day, we're
all just on reality television. Or let's bring it down

(01:21:44):
even further, we're all just living in a reality and
so let's I don't love just like I don't disrespect
the Kardashian family or who you know what for whatever
they do. I don't love that tweet. Tax I don't
love the text either, And it's weird because I think
this whole thing became even even bigger than just speculation

(01:22:07):
because Chris Jenner has been outspoken about being a Bachelor fan.
So to me, when Mike Flice was saying in talks
with Chris Jenner, which is obviously Chloe's manager, I was like, oh, wait,
this could actually be real because I know that he
probably does have her number because she's come on The
Bachelor in Paradise after show like she's she's called in before,

(01:22:30):
and she's been on the show like she's a fan.
So I thought there could be some legitimacy to it.
I mean, I hosted The Bachelor in Paradise after show
and my Bachelor after show because back when I was Bachelor,
we had an after show. Yeah, um with her, I
mean she was there, so yeah, this isn't a crazy idea.
I mean, but again, this whole thing gets wild. It

(01:22:51):
feels so big. I mean, it's one of those moments.
I don't know if it meant to turn into this
or not, but it feels so big when you have
I mean I'm looking at Kim's profile right now. Just
a tweet that she did that had dot dot dot
Mike Flies has over a hundred and forty thousand likes.
I mean, if this isn't great for the show, I
don't know one is. Mike Fly finishes this conversation by

(01:23:13):
tweeting one of the things we look for and choosing
the Bachelor apt is a great sense of humor. Might
be time to look elsewhere. I sincerely offered our assistance.
If a certain someone thinks here she doesn't need our
help to find true love, so be it. And that's
the end of the conversation. Ashley, do you like this story? Like?

(01:23:34):
Is this? Is this something that it's funny? Um? For
our listeners out there, please let us know how you
feel about this kind of stuff. Is it just is
it hard to watch? Is it personal to you because
you like the show so much? Um? Or is it
just hilarious? Like? Is how do how do we view this?
I think it was all good drama. I think it
was all fun to watch on Saturday night, But I
think from being a part of the Bachelor family, it

(01:23:56):
was kind of sad to see Kim and Chloe. Do
you a little the franchise. But if I were just
a regular view or I'd be like, oh, I'm meeting
all this up. Yeah, don't act like you're not watching Kardashians.
I'm watching you, You're watching us. We're all watching each
other here. Hey, ash thanks for talking to Jess. Thank
you for being so kind. Um Ashley Again. For anybody

(01:24:17):
out there that is looking for a great book for
their nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren, Ashley and Jared has written
an amazing children's book you need to pick up at
Lucy and Clark book dot com. It is worth it,
it is fantastic. Make sure you check it out. We
also gotta give thank you to open Fit. Get a
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(01:24:37):
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(01:25:00):
really cool modern furniture. Go to article dot com slash
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up one hundred dollars or more. What a great podcast,
ash love you dearly told. Jaredy said, Hello, let's get
out of here. I've been, I've been Ashley Bye. Follow
the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on I

(01:25:22):
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Hosts And Creators

Ben Higgins

Ashley Iaconetti

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The Biggest Hometown Date of All with Ben's Girlfriend Jess