February 7, 2024 • 22 mins
Grace has arrived at the end of the dating equivalent of an ultra-marathon. She’s got one final shot at looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe, just maybe this guy could be Mr Right…
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Novel.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
The worst part I haven't gone is learning how to
spell goner to.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Say, it's terrific, possible, it's horrific. You have to google
it every time.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
That is right, gone, Girl.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Around me, I'm a savage.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Are you bored of modern dating? Meeting the same people
from the same apps in the same bar You've only
chosen because it's close to your house and you can
make your usual quick getaway. It's time to change the
narrative on how we find love. It's time to start
looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm going
on a wild dating adventure, only picking people who are
(00:55):
the total opposite of my type. And after twenty eight
of these dates in two months, will I find that
special someone?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Or well?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
This experiment proved that I should just give up on
dating altogether. It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell
and this is twenty eight dates later. Hello, Dan, Hi,
it's the final Ar's the final day.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
It's a final day.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I did my final day.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Oh my god, I'm excited.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
I know.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Are you feeling nourished? Are you feeling sexy? Are you
feeling alive.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I am, I'm feeling alive. Hey, Sason killing me, but
I'm feeling I'm pumped. I'm pumped.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Baby killing me?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Do?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I find out recently that apparently it's because all the
trees that we have in this country are like male trees.
So I didn't want to plant female trees because they
bear fruit and that's free fruit, but also like rotten fruit.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
So this means it's just got like heavy.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It was just like loads of spunk, like mother has
boukaqui and as constantly and it's.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Like it's in my eye. I know it is in
my eye and in my nose, in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, it is male trees. But also the craziest story
just really quickly that I have to tell you, So,
there is a male crow in my area that's attacking women.
So it's been going around like on the WhatsApp groups
like for my area, like there's this crow attacking women
with long hair. So I was like, cool, I'll be fine,
I haven't got long hair. And then last week I
was walking along the street like looking real nice, like
(02:19):
I had like cowboy boots on, like really nice trousers,
walking along and then this crow just like attacks my head. No,
and then I started screaming. It didn't like bite me,
It just like banged on my head flew away, right,
So I was like screaming and there was who traffic
down for people watching me, and everyone was watching and
I was like, oh my god, did you see that
to all the people in the cars. And then this
guy goes He's coming back for you, and so I
(02:40):
ran away from it, tripped, fell into the road in
front of the traffic, and then the crow was just
attacking my head. How in same is that that is?
Actually it's the male trees and the male crows are
just trying to fuck us up.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Damn it.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I owe that chrome money now A final day.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Final day. Okay. So this guy, so he is a songwriter.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
A musician. He's in music.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, and I love music as well, like actually, like
I love music popular opinion. But I'm like obsessed with music,
Like I listened to music all the time. It's so random. No,
I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I know, I'm a crazy girl.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Crazy girl. So I've previously dated a lot of musicians
and it's clearly not gone well for me because I'm
here making this podcast. So I thought musician days were
in the past for me. But have you looked at
this guy's very Let's just talk about how fucking peng.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He's so fit.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
He's so peng.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Jesus Christ is the body, his body is given believable.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Okay, he's like a Greek statue.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
It's made me feel like I'm cosplaying Roll Dahl writing
a book and a share.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
No. I showed my like male friends him the other
day and they were like, he is an honest honestly.
The second I saw so, I was so unprepared of
him being that pang. And like then he came and
he was so pung. I didn't have any makeup on.
I looked insane. I'd been walking for two hours. It
was really hot, I'd been walking the dog. I was
trying to close my rings on an Apple watch, and
so I just looked mad. And he came in and
(04:13):
I was sat on the floor on the phone to
my friend who was having an argument with her boyfriend.
Like when he walked in, and.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
Then the second he sat down opposite me, I was like,
oh my god, you're actually so fit, you are so muscly.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
What do you.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Do do you take so sure?
Speaker 5 (04:39):
I said, I'm just really what disciplined.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I mean, I ate the same thing every day.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I just go to the gym.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Sometimes every day. So tell me see.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Lunch for lunch. It's very snacky. So I seen us
going bars a protein bar, approtein your good apple.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Sounds like such a sad way to live. Five oreos
every day every day we have that.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yeah, that diet is giving me like sociopath absolutely, yeah,
people like that are complete freaks, but nobody has You do.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Not have a body like that without being a sociopath.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
When he's there, like, it's very snacky, and to me,
I'm They're like, what's that? Sorry? Four poor pies, A
whole sub of pringles cheese.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
One yeah, left sandwich from prass Because.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
It isn't like that kind of snacky because that's my
every day because I eat the same.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Thing every day. I'm like, what chickens? Ye got the time?
I got the time? But work hard? Looks fit, I
guess you do.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, I mean yeah, cb a, No, I mean, but
not everybody has to look like that. But it's nice
that there are people in the world that look like that.
Do you know what I mean? It's like if everybody
looks like that, it would be really boring. But it's
nice when somebody looks like that and you're like, god,
you look insane. I don't know, yeah, I mean unreal,
Like his body is just pure muscle.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Have five aureos. It's so random, the whole packet. So
what do you do? Is that a really personal I
make music?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay, yeah, songwriter musicians love me.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
It's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
I think I've think I've been on with two comedians.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Really, that's interesting. Get over them.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
Why I'm sure it was them and not the profession.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Well we are obviously they were probably really bad comedians.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Are a really good comedian.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I'm a very good exquisite. First of all, this is
please So this is like so funny because he claims
that he's never like looked me up, which I obviously
do not believe. I don't believe it for a second.
But like he basically before he had decided to come
on the date for the podcast, he mentioned it to
(07:08):
one of his friends and he was like, Oh, I've
been asked to do this thing with this girl called Grace.
And then the girl was like, oh my god, Grace Gamble.
And it turns out she went to my school, but
was a few years above me, and she was like,
oh yeah, you should definitely do it, like she's really funny.
But then he claims that even then he didn't like
look me up. I mean, don't believe it. What's your
(07:41):
content in my comedy sets? Relationships? My dog took about
my dog a lot on them. She's just been on heat,
so it's given me quite a lot of comedy. She
actually the other day she sat on a dog's face
in the pub and then squatted all.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Over his face.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Do you want another drink?
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Is that your vibe?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I was like, she's obviously seen me do that, and
I was copying me.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I mean, baby, you got gay right there. And he's like,
to watch your content and you're like sex, and you're like,
my dog's also been on here, just like me.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Oh my god, I'm based.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
But like also just like if you if you see
the end game, yeah, stepping it strongly.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
And I saw like the second we started speaking, I
was like, we have to have sex, and I really
want it to be today that we have sad you.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Sat down, You're like, how can this happen? Oh? I know,
I'm going to talk about my dog square in another
dog's face.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
But wait, just break that down because like what you
want about the dogs square?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Oh my god, Eddie squirted on a dog's face.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Wait can dog square?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Well apparently yeah, I googled it. It's like, you know,
a cat spray, Like it's like that, right, And it
smelled just like squirt, which does not smell like piss,
by the way, because as I always say, nobody has
a baroka and then squirts and squirts baraka. But that's
what I say to all the people that say squire's
piss scientists, all the scientists and the doctor's other let
(09:21):
me tell you that do the.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Baroc Wait, so it was a sexual Squirre was like.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So she was on heat and she was really horny,
and she met this dog and they were playing, and
then she got really aroused and then she mounted the
dog's head, is like humping the dog's face, and then
sprayed all this liquid. It was like our pub right, wow,
sprayles liquid. So I picked her up and then she's
like humping the an sprayed this liquid all over the
guy opposite me. Oh, it was so embarrassing, like one
(09:50):
of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me.
I was so angry at her. The rest of the
day was I know I felt about she after her
first organism, just fell sleep before I did not wake
up in this pub, did not wake up.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Relatable queen. I'm always there, Like, you better make sure you.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Come before I do, because as soon as I do,
I'm in a coma.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Really actually normally it's me. It takes longer. So God
bless everyone's soul and whole that's been with me.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
But like I am, I hate that thing where like
you've come and then you've got to make them come
and you're just say like this is I didn't realize
this was like the Lord of the Rings trilogy directors
cut No.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
But that's the literally story of my life because I
always come within the first thirty seconds of sex. Like
it's so fucking embarrassing, Like I come so fast, but
I don't mind it because I'll usually come again, like
come again, I always do, but I always come quite
quickly and then have to be like, okay, I can
munster up the energy and though I'd really like to
just have a sleep.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I mean I live.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
And that segment was for all of our listeners into
beat reality. Yeah, dogs can square.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
The other thing, which I guess during this process, like
one of the things that I've done a lot that's
challenged myself is gone dates with people who are like
open or like ethically not monogamous or like moneyamous or whatever.
And I've obviously never really like ventured into any of that.
So I because I'd been told before that he was
in like an ethically non monogamous relationship, but then when
he came and I was so attracted to him, I
(11:13):
was like, oh fuck, but he's got a girlfriend. Yeah,
and we spoke about her. Are you in an open relationship?
It started, Yeah, we discussed it.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
We both were on the same page of what we
were looking for, so it made sense. And then okay,
we fell in love and then continued going on.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Cool. Yeah, in a way I was really it was
kind of cool, Like I did it. It wasn't I did.
Like as long as like everybody involved is fine with it.
I was like, this is kind of.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Chill, yeah, because it shows someone has it's like an
evolved state of being. Like if you can be non monogamous,
it means that like you surely have good communication skills,
They surely trust there. It's a very modern way of being,
which is, like I think, really positive.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
But it's challenging as well because for me, like all
of my relationships in the past have been like monogamous,
and so when I'm sitting there opposite someone and I'm like,
I want to fuck you so much, like the eye
contact was just insane.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Maybe I can hear the dripp between your legs.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Well, for most of the day was actually we weren't
really speaking. We were like just looking at each other
and like laughing.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
Like, yes, say something, then.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Concentrate.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Okay, excuse me, what are you thinking?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Nothing, life. No, You're a really good one to end
with that, because you're like I would, I would see
you again.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
I'll see you again.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Of course you're only human.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Those long pauses of sexual tension. What you're thinking twenty
second pause, not much you think about.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, So what happened? Yeah, was then so we took
up mics off, and then we like went into the
bit outside and then we started getting with each other.
But then we both you see, such good kiss, unbelievably
good kiss. But he also says I'm an amazing kisser,
which is so nice.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I love that I'm a great kiss I really myself.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh my god, be in prison.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
How can you be bad at kissing? You've never listened.
You've never listened, that's literally it is. And you also
have no instinct because kissing is all about instinct. Is
that you just like received you know what I mean,
You're just like it's two people anyway, So we were
like kissing. It was so fucking hot, and then we
both had plans somewhere to go and then but I
(14:21):
got his number and then he left and then I
was like a bit drunk. We had like three drinks.
So I texted him like, you're really fair, I want
to see you again.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
He was like it was.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Actually the most you've actually said that entire day.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
And then he was like you're already, Like when can
I see you? And I was like, well, what are
you doing later tonight? Like I had a dinner and
then he came around and yeah, and then we had
amazing sex. Oh I shagged the last date we shagged.
We got with each other like there and then.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
But sometimes that's nice though, sometimes has to step into
a date and be there like oh we're sucking.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
But it's it's a challenging process because then you're like
you're in a relationship, but it's also fine. But as
it's like happened since, it's actually been so nice for
me because I really like hanging out with someone knowing
that there's never going to be any pressure of like
what is this.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Ye yeah, because I was like dating doesn't have to
be defined love exactly, connection exactly. Because I had this
thing like I was out recently and it's like dirty
little gay bar, like so grubby, and there was this
guy like looking at me, like giving me the eye,
but he was with another man, And for some reason
in my head, when I see that, I narrate being
like always with someone, I don't think, oh, in the
queer world, it could be like maybe a three, so
maybe they're open. Maybe it's not with them, Like I
(15:37):
shut it down because I narrate the fact that like, oh,
it's not a possibility. But then this guy like kept
looking at me, and at one point he came over
and we got each other, and I was like, oh,
it's funny how I like shut these things down by
being like, oh, this would never work. The guy did
also message me being there like I might have gone
to throw it's.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Hand stecked out.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh thank god, because you know life is good, live, left,
love love. The worst part I having gone Reea is
learning how to spell gonnery when textperies to.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Say possible, it's arif you have to google it every
time and is right, gone girl, gone gone, I'm gone.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I've got gone, get yourself checked. Gone girl.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
But but no, it's nice to step into something and
know it is what it is and you.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Know what it is. I think that's what's been really
nice because I feel like my issue in the past
has always been like either things accelerate way too fast
and I encourage that and often I'm the source of that,
or I get really really freaked out because I'm like,
oh my god, I feel like so much pressure of
like are we gonna is this gonna like accelerate and
suddenly we're gonna be together? Or like am I going
(16:35):
to like put them off? But there's zero pressure on
the situation. And he's very like open and honest about
like his relationship and it sort of seems like all fine,
but we like get on and like have a good
time together. And it's really nice because when he leaves,
I'm not like thinking, oh, when I next and speak
to him when I'm next going to see him, because
I know that's not what the situation is.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Maybe you've found the thing that is in your life
right now.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
It's teaching me something. At the moment, I can't quite
like articulate what it is, but I feel like it's
meant to have happened.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Wow, spiritual, so spiritual. I was supposed to be dicked
down by this guy in an open relationship. Thank you, Universe,
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I manifested after twenty seven dates.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Twenty seven dates. I don't think I've been on twenty
seven dates my entire life.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was a really nice way to end because you know,
like I've already said, it's a nice thing for me
because at the moment, I don't know really what is
I'm looking for in general, Like I feel super confused
about whether or not I want to commit to someone
again just yet. I still feel like I have more
work to do on myself. But I feel like this
is a really good sign because I'm challenging myself by
(17:41):
going on dates and like shagging someone who's like in
an ethically non monogous relationship. That's a challenge, but I'm
actually like really enjoying it and I'm not finding it
difficult in anyway, and it's making me think about maybe
me being able to do that one.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, I think that was interesting as well. I'd go
on dates to different types of people to expand that
scope as well, to be like, oh, really normally go
for this person, but let me see, because sometimes I
think dating is like you bringing your life and someone
brings someone out's life experience together. And if you're constantly
going with someone who's like quite similar to you or
like the same sort of jobs or whatever, like they're
not bringing a whole fresh experience to your life. And
(18:15):
I think that sometimes there's the beauty of dating and
connecting with people as you've been like I've never experienced that,
or like I didn't know that was a thing, or
it's oh it's gorgeous, actual passion or do.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
I mean like yeah, it opens your mind up and
very like it's enriching. It is enriching. And I always
think like every experience you have, like every day everyone
likes sound whatever, you always get something from it, whether
it's a story or like whether they play a song
and you're like, well that, what's that song? And then
you're like, oh, I've got a really good song out
like meeting this person, Like I always get something like
whenever I have a one night sound, I always get
(18:45):
like one kind of like thing that I'll like have forever,
like from my experience, and it doesn't have to be
like the love.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Of my life.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
So I know it's been trials and tribulations, ups and
downs and like quite intense at points to date so
many people, but like, have you enjoyed it?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Well, firstly, thank you for helping me, you know, make
sense of a lot of it and making it fun
and bringing you know, like a fun side to it,
because some of it's been really quit it's tenuous.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
The word like yeah, yeah, that's the best thing about dating, right,
is like be able to chat to your mate about it, well.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Exactly, It's like that's almost the funnest part about dating
is then being able to go and debrief the day.
Like I always feel like when I go on a
date and then the next day I don't have time
to send a voice note to the girls, I'm like, fuck,
I can't forget. I have to tell them like everything
that happened. I've enjoyed the process. I feel like I've
learned a lot from the process. At the beginning, I
was skeptical because I didn't think I was going to
(19:39):
like meet the love of my life through this process,
But I've learned so much about myself even through talking
to so many different people about dating relationships. I've learned
so much about where my tapestry emotionally has left me
at this point, and actually how I have to rebuild
a lot more stuff to get into a healthy place
(20:00):
with relationships. And what's been really cool is like exploring
all these different types of relationships, thinking about ways I
could trust people in the future without it just being
an a monogamous relationship. So it's been very enriching for me.
I'm really happy that it's over, but I'm happy that
I've met some of these people, and some of the
dates were like people that I'm sure I'll see again.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah you hang out again.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I think there's definitely something like gems in there. There's
some gems and there's some absolutely seeming flaming parts of turns.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well listen, I got three hours seat
last night because I was shagging. There we go number
twenty eight.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
And the thing is when he first originally came to
this production company. You're like, I want to make a podcast,
and beneath that you were like, I just need them
to help me fox them up.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, And actually I got some really good sex out
of this.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
And that's at the end of the day. Who goes
back creating anything else?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
On Eddie, Eddie.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
A little dog every single day. The mic, the mic
working in the mind.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
When it started, she was about that big and now
it's finished and she's a full blown slot.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
She's squatting another dog's faces and I listen, I can
be proud of you.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I'm so proud of you. Hey, thank you. I'm talking
to the dog race. It's not you the dog. I'm
so proud of the dog. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Around for me, I'm a savoy. Can it are you giving.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Me?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Twenty eight Days Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
For more from Novel, visit novel Dot Audio. The series
is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Pursu and Dan White. The producer is Diggrey Waite. The
executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mithillly Raw
and Max O'Brien. Production management from Sharie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
(21:51):
Willard Foxton is our creative director of development novel
Novel.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
The worst part I haven't gone is learning how to
spell goner to.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Say, it's terrific, possible, it's horrific. You have to google
it every time.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
That is right, gone, Girl.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Around me, I'm a savage.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Are you bored of modern dating? Meeting the same people
from the same apps in the same bar You've only
chosen because it's close to your house and you can
make your usual quick getaway. It's time to change the
narrative on how we find love. It's time to start
looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm going
on a wild dating adventure, only picking people who are
(00:55):
the total opposite of my type. And after twenty eight
of these dates in two months, will I find that
special someone?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Or well?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
This experiment proved that I should just give up on
dating altogether. It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell
and this is twenty eight dates later. Hello, Dan, Hi,
it's the final Ar's the final day.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
It's a final day.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I did my final day.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Oh my god, I'm excited.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
I know.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Are you feeling nourished? Are you feeling sexy? Are you
feeling alive.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I am, I'm feeling alive. Hey, Sason killing me, but
I'm feeling I'm pumped. I'm pumped.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Baby killing me?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Do?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I find out recently that apparently it's because all the
trees that we have in this country are like male trees.
So I didn't want to plant female trees because they
bear fruit and that's free fruit, but also like rotten fruit.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
So this means it's just got like heavy.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It was just like loads of spunk, like mother has
boukaqui and as constantly and it's.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Like it's in my eye. I know it is in
my eye and in my nose, in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, it is male trees. But also the craziest story
just really quickly that I have to tell you, So,
there is a male crow in my area that's attacking women.
So it's been going around like on the WhatsApp groups
like for my area, like there's this crow attacking women
with long hair. So I was like, cool, I'll be fine,
I haven't got long hair. And then last week I
was walking along the street like looking real nice, like
(02:19):
I had like cowboy boots on, like really nice trousers,
walking along and then this crow just like attacks my head. No,
and then I started screaming. It didn't like bite me,
It just like banged on my head flew away, right,
So I was like screaming and there was who traffic
down for people watching me, and everyone was watching and
I was like, oh my god, did you see that
to all the people in the cars. And then this
guy goes He's coming back for you, and so I
(02:40):
ran away from it, tripped, fell into the road in
front of the traffic, and then the crow was just
attacking my head. How in same is that that is?
Actually it's the male trees and the male crows are
just trying to fuck us up.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Damn it.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
I owe that chrome money now A final day.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Final day. Okay. So this guy, so he is a songwriter.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
A musician. He's in music.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, and I love music as well, like actually, like
I love music popular opinion. But I'm like obsessed with music,
Like I listened to music all the time. It's so random. No,
I'm crazy.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I know, I'm a crazy girl.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Crazy girl. So I've previously dated a lot of musicians
and it's clearly not gone well for me because I'm
here making this podcast. So I thought musician days were
in the past for me. But have you looked at
this guy's very Let's just talk about how fucking peng.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He's so fit.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
He's so peng.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Jesus Christ is the body, his body is given believable.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Okay, he's like a Greek statue.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
It's made me feel like I'm cosplaying Roll Dahl writing
a book and a share.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
No. I showed my like male friends him the other
day and they were like, he is an honest honestly.
The second I saw so, I was so unprepared of
him being that pang. And like then he came and
he was so pung. I didn't have any makeup on.
I looked insane. I'd been walking for two hours. It
was really hot, I'd been walking the dog. I was
trying to close my rings on an Apple watch, and
so I just looked mad. And he came in and
(04:13):
I was sat on the floor on the phone to
my friend who was having an argument with her boyfriend.
Like when he walked in, and.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
Then the second he sat down opposite me, I was like,
oh my god, you're actually so fit, you are so muscly.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
What do you.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Do do you take so sure?
Speaker 5 (04:39):
I said, I'm just really what disciplined.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
I mean, I ate the same thing every day.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I just go to the gym.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Sometimes every day. So tell me see.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
Lunch for lunch. It's very snacky. So I seen us
going bars a protein bar, approtein your good apple.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Sounds like such a sad way to live. Five oreos
every day every day we have that.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yeah, that diet is giving me like sociopath absolutely, yeah,
people like that are complete freaks, but nobody has You do.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Not have a body like that without being a sociopath.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
When he's there, like, it's very snacky, and to me,
I'm They're like, what's that? Sorry? Four poor pies, A
whole sub of pringles cheese.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
One yeah, left sandwich from prass Because.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
It isn't like that kind of snacky because that's my
every day because I eat the same.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Thing every day. I'm like, what chickens? Ye got the time?
I got the time? But work hard? Looks fit, I
guess you do.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, I mean yeah, cb a, No, I mean, but
not everybody has to look like that. But it's nice
that there are people in the world that look like that.
Do you know what I mean? It's like if everybody
looks like that, it would be really boring. But it's
nice when somebody looks like that and you're like, god,
you look insane. I don't know, yeah, I mean unreal,
Like his body is just pure muscle.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Have five aureos. It's so random, the whole packet. So
what do you do? Is that a really personal I
make music?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay, yeah, songwriter musicians love me.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
It's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
I think I've think I've been on with two comedians.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Really, that's interesting. Get over them.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
Why I'm sure it was them and not the profession.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Well we are obviously they were probably really bad comedians.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Are a really good comedian.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I'm a very good exquisite. First of all, this is
please So this is like so funny because he claims
that he's never like looked me up, which I obviously
do not believe. I don't believe it for a second.
But like he basically before he had decided to come
on the date for the podcast, he mentioned it to
(07:08):
one of his friends and he was like, Oh, I've
been asked to do this thing with this girl called Grace.
And then the girl was like, oh my god, Grace Gamble.
And it turns out she went to my school, but
was a few years above me, and she was like,
oh yeah, you should definitely do it, like she's really funny.
But then he claims that even then he didn't like
look me up. I mean, don't believe it. What's your
(07:41):
content in my comedy sets? Relationships? My dog took about
my dog a lot on them. She's just been on heat,
so it's given me quite a lot of comedy. She
actually the other day she sat on a dog's face
in the pub and then squatted all.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Over his face.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Do you want another drink?
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Is that your vibe?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I was like, she's obviously seen me do that, and
I was copying me.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I mean, baby, you got gay right there. And he's like,
to watch your content and you're like sex, and you're like,
my dog's also been on here, just like me.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Oh my god, I'm based.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
But like also just like if you if you see
the end game, yeah, stepping it strongly.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
And I saw like the second we started speaking, I
was like, we have to have sex, and I really
want it to be today that we have sad you.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Sat down, You're like, how can this happen? Oh? I know,
I'm going to talk about my dog square in another
dog's face.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
But wait, just break that down because like what you
want about the dogs square?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Oh my god, Eddie squirted on a dog's face.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Wait can dog square?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Well apparently yeah, I googled it. It's like, you know,
a cat spray, Like it's like that, right, And it
smelled just like squirt, which does not smell like piss,
by the way, because as I always say, nobody has
a baroka and then squirts and squirts baraka. But that's
what I say to all the people that say squire's
piss scientists, all the scientists and the doctor's other let
(09:21):
me tell you that do the.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Baroc Wait, so it was a sexual Squirre was like.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
So she was on heat and she was really horny,
and she met this dog and they were playing, and
then she got really aroused and then she mounted the
dog's head, is like humping the dog's face, and then
sprayed all this liquid. It was like our pub right, wow,
sprayles liquid. So I picked her up and then she's
like humping the an sprayed this liquid all over the
guy opposite me. Oh, it was so embarrassing, like one
(09:50):
of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me.
I was so angry at her. The rest of the
day was I know I felt about she after her
first organism, just fell sleep before I did not wake
up in this pub, did not wake up.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Relatable queen. I'm always there, Like, you better make sure you.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Come before I do, because as soon as I do,
I'm in a coma.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Really actually normally it's me. It takes longer. So God
bless everyone's soul and whole that's been with me.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
But like I am, I hate that thing where like
you've come and then you've got to make them come
and you're just say like this is I didn't realize
this was like the Lord of the Rings trilogy directors
cut No.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
But that's the literally story of my life because I
always come within the first thirty seconds of sex. Like
it's so fucking embarrassing, Like I come so fast, but
I don't mind it because I'll usually come again, like
come again, I always do, but I always come quite
quickly and then have to be like, okay, I can
munster up the energy and though I'd really like to
just have a sleep.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I mean I live.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
And that segment was for all of our listeners into
beat reality. Yeah, dogs can square.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
The other thing, which I guess during this process, like
one of the things that I've done a lot that's
challenged myself is gone dates with people who are like
open or like ethically not monogamous or like moneyamous or whatever.
And I've obviously never really like ventured into any of that.
So I because I'd been told before that he was
in like an ethically non monogamous relationship, but then when
he came and I was so attracted to him, I
(11:13):
was like, oh fuck, but he's got a girlfriend. Yeah,
and we spoke about her. Are you in an open relationship?
It started, Yeah, we discussed it.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
We both were on the same page of what we
were looking for, so it made sense. And then okay,
we fell in love and then continued going on.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Cool. Yeah, in a way I was really it was
kind of cool, Like I did it. It wasn't I did.
Like as long as like everybody involved is fine with it.
I was like, this is kind of.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Chill, yeah, because it shows someone has it's like an
evolved state of being. Like if you can be non monogamous,
it means that like you surely have good communication skills,
They surely trust there. It's a very modern way of being,
which is, like I think, really positive.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
But it's challenging as well because for me, like all
of my relationships in the past have been like monogamous,
and so when I'm sitting there opposite someone and I'm like,
I want to fuck you so much, like the eye
contact was just insane.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Maybe I can hear the dripp between your legs.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Well, for most of the day was actually we weren't
really speaking. We were like just looking at each other
and like laughing.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
Like, yes, say something, then.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Concentrate.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
Okay, excuse me, what are you thinking?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Nothing, life. No, You're a really good one to end
with that, because you're like I would, I would see
you again.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
I'll see you again.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Of course you're only human.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Those long pauses of sexual tension. What you're thinking twenty
second pause, not much you think about.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, So what happened? Yeah, was then so we took
up mics off, and then we like went into the
bit outside and then we started getting with each other.
But then we both you see, such good kiss, unbelievably
good kiss. But he also says I'm an amazing kisser,
which is so nice.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I love that I'm a great kiss I really myself.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh my god, be in prison.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
How can you be bad at kissing? You've never listened.
You've never listened, that's literally it is. And you also
have no instinct because kissing is all about instinct. Is
that you just like received you know what I mean,
You're just like it's two people anyway, So we were
like kissing. It was so fucking hot, and then we
both had plans somewhere to go and then but I
(14:21):
got his number and then he left and then I
was like a bit drunk. We had like three drinks.
So I texted him like, you're really fair, I want
to see you again.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
He was like it was.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Actually the most you've actually said that entire day.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
And then he was like you're already, Like when can
I see you? And I was like, well, what are
you doing later tonight? Like I had a dinner and
then he came around and yeah, and then we had
amazing sex. Oh I shagged the last date we shagged.
We got with each other like there and then.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
But sometimes that's nice though, sometimes has to step into
a date and be there like oh we're sucking.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
But it's it's a challenging process because then you're like
you're in a relationship, but it's also fine. But as
it's like happened since, it's actually been so nice for
me because I really like hanging out with someone knowing
that there's never going to be any pressure of like
what is this.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Ye yeah, because I was like dating doesn't have to
be defined love exactly, connection exactly. Because I had this
thing like I was out recently and it's like dirty
little gay bar, like so grubby, and there was this
guy like looking at me, like giving me the eye,
but he was with another man, And for some reason
in my head, when I see that, I narrate being
like always with someone, I don't think, oh, in the
queer world, it could be like maybe a three, so
maybe they're open. Maybe it's not with them, Like I
(15:37):
shut it down because I narrate the fact that like, oh,
it's not a possibility. But then this guy like kept
looking at me, and at one point he came over
and we got each other, and I was like, oh,
it's funny how I like shut these things down by
being like, oh, this would never work. The guy did
also message me being there like I might have gone
to throw it's.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Hand stecked out.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh thank god, because you know life is good, live, left,
love love. The worst part I having gone Reea is
learning how to spell gonnery when textperies to.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Say possible, it's arif you have to google it every
time and is right, gone girl, gone gone, I'm gone.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
I've got gone, get yourself checked. Gone girl.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
But but no, it's nice to step into something and
know it is what it is and you.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Know what it is. I think that's what's been really
nice because I feel like my issue in the past
has always been like either things accelerate way too fast
and I encourage that and often I'm the source of that,
or I get really really freaked out because I'm like,
oh my god, I feel like so much pressure of
like are we gonna is this gonna like accelerate and
suddenly we're gonna be together? Or like am I going
(16:35):
to like put them off? But there's zero pressure on
the situation. And he's very like open and honest about
like his relationship and it sort of seems like all fine,
but we like get on and like have a good
time together. And it's really nice because when he leaves,
I'm not like thinking, oh, when I next and speak
to him when I'm next going to see him, because
I know that's not what the situation is.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Maybe you've found the thing that is in your life
right now.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
It's teaching me something. At the moment, I can't quite
like articulate what it is, but I feel like it's
meant to have happened.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Wow, spiritual, so spiritual. I was supposed to be dicked
down by this guy in an open relationship. Thank you, Universe,
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I manifested after twenty seven dates.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Twenty seven dates. I don't think I've been on twenty
seven dates my entire life.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was a really nice way to end because you know,
like I've already said, it's a nice thing for me
because at the moment, I don't know really what is
I'm looking for in general, Like I feel super confused
about whether or not I want to commit to someone
again just yet. I still feel like I have more
work to do on myself. But I feel like this
is a really good sign because I'm challenging myself by
(17:41):
going on dates and like shagging someone who's like in
an ethically non monogous relationship. That's a challenge, but I'm
actually like really enjoying it and I'm not finding it
difficult in anyway, and it's making me think about maybe
me being able to do that one.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, I think that was interesting as well. I'd go
on dates to different types of people to expand that
scope as well, to be like, oh, really normally go
for this person, but let me see, because sometimes I
think dating is like you bringing your life and someone
brings someone out's life experience together. And if you're constantly
going with someone who's like quite similar to you or
like the same sort of jobs or whatever, like they're
not bringing a whole fresh experience to your life. And
(18:15):
I think that sometimes there's the beauty of dating and
connecting with people as you've been like I've never experienced that,
or like I didn't know that was a thing, or
it's oh it's gorgeous, actual passion or do.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
I mean like yeah, it opens your mind up and
very like it's enriching. It is enriching. And I always
think like every experience you have, like every day everyone
likes sound whatever, you always get something from it, whether
it's a story or like whether they play a song
and you're like, well that, what's that song? And then
you're like, oh, I've got a really good song out
like meeting this person, Like I always get something like
whenever I have a one night sound, I always get
(18:45):
like one kind of like thing that I'll like have forever,
like from my experience, and it doesn't have to be
like the love.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Of my life.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
So I know it's been trials and tribulations, ups and
downs and like quite intense at points to date so
many people, but like, have you enjoyed it?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Well, firstly, thank you for helping me, you know, make
sense of a lot of it and making it fun
and bringing you know, like a fun side to it,
because some of it's been really quit it's tenuous.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
The word like yeah, yeah, that's the best thing about dating, right,
is like be able to chat to your mate about it, well.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Exactly, It's like that's almost the funnest part about dating
is then being able to go and debrief the day.
Like I always feel like when I go on a
date and then the next day I don't have time
to send a voice note to the girls, I'm like, fuck,
I can't forget. I have to tell them like everything
that happened. I've enjoyed the process. I feel like I've
learned a lot from the process. At the beginning, I
was skeptical because I didn't think I was going to
(19:39):
like meet the love of my life through this process,
But I've learned so much about myself even through talking
to so many different people about dating relationships. I've learned
so much about where my tapestry emotionally has left me
at this point, and actually how I have to rebuild
a lot more stuff to get into a healthy place
(20:00):
with relationships. And what's been really cool is like exploring
all these different types of relationships, thinking about ways I
could trust people in the future without it just being
an a monogamous relationship. So it's been very enriching for me.
I'm really happy that it's over, but I'm happy that
I've met some of these people, and some of the
dates were like people that I'm sure I'll see again.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah you hang out again.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I think there's definitely something like gems in there. There's
some gems and there's some absolutely seeming flaming parts of turns.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well listen, I got three hours seat
last night because I was shagging. There we go number
twenty eight.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
And the thing is when he first originally came to
this production company. You're like, I want to make a podcast,
and beneath that you were like, I just need them
to help me fox them up.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, And actually I got some really good sex out
of this.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
And that's at the end of the day. Who goes
back creating anything else?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
On Eddie, Eddie.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
A little dog every single day. The mic, the mic
working in the mind.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
When it started, she was about that big and now
it's finished and she's a full blown slot.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
She's squatting another dog's faces and I listen, I can
be proud of you.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I'm so proud of you. Hey, thank you. I'm talking
to the dog race. It's not you the dog. I'm
so proud of the dog. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Around for me, I'm a savoy. Can it are you giving.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Me?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Twenty eight Days Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
For more from Novel, visit novel Dot Audio. The series
is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Pursu and Dan White. The producer is Diggrey Waite. The
executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mithillly Raw
and Max O'Brien. Production management from Sharie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
(21:51):
Willard Foxton is our creative director of development novel
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