August 7, 2025 • 13 mins
Ever feel like it’s easier to shut down than show up for your emotions? In this solo episode, Jennie gets real about the power of feeling your feelings... even the messy ones. Listen for her recent experience and several concrete tips for allowing yourself the freedom to feel.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi, everyone,
welcome back to I Choose Me. It's another episode of
Just Jenny today because there are things we need to
talk about just you and me. Have you ever been
(00:22):
in a tough spot, a disagreement with a loved one,
stressful moment at work, or just you know, really disappointing
situation and your first instinct was to shut those feelings down,
to just like push them away, distract yourself, or even
(00:43):
feel bad for having them in the first place. Yeah,
I've done that. On a recent episode, we talked about
not letting ourselves be silenced. Today, I want to talk
about another cornerstone of the I Choose Me philosophy. But
it's probably one of the hardest parts. The importance of
(01:05):
actually feeling your feelings, even when it feels difficult or
like a sign of weakness. And I'm not talking about wallowing.
I'm talking about true self care. It's about giving yourself
permission to be human and to process the beautiful, messy
(01:29):
truth of what's going on inside. We are taught to
be strong, to be positive, to suck it up, Buttercup,
there's a lot of pressure on men but especially on
women to be the steady one, to always appear as
if we have our lives together. When a difficult emotion
(01:50):
comes up, we just instinctually want it to go away.
Let me give you an example. My daughter Lola and
I have a fashion brand that we share and sell
on QVC. We love doing it, but the travel and
the pressure can be a lot. Last time we were
(02:11):
in Pennsylvania. I had just come off the air and
I was feeling pretty good about how it went. And
in the green room at QVC, you can see your
sales numbers in real time, which is yeah, that's nerve wrecking.
I went in and my heart sank because I saw
that our sales were nowhere near our goal for that day.
(02:35):
I could feel my disappointment and I could feel lollless.
I try to keep a smile on my face until
I made it down the hall to my tiny little
dressing room. I closed the door behind me and I
just sank into the chair, feeling the defeat kind of
crashed down on me. My mind immediately went to all
those negative thoughts. I never should have done this. I
(02:58):
am a disappointment to my team, to my daughter Lola.
I'm just not good enough. All of that, I felt
the heat rise up inside me and tears started to come.
And just then, in that moment, Lola came in and instinctively,
I pulled those feelings right back in. I did not
(03:18):
want her to see me fail like that. I didn't
want my emotions to overflow onto her, but she knew
she could see it in my face. I tried to
play it off, but honestly, I'm not very good at
hiding my emotions, so I was honest. I told her
how I was feeling that I just wanted to go
(03:41):
home and crawl in a hole. And she sat very still,
listening and watching as me, the woman in charge leading
this whole project, completely unraveled in front of her, and
she put her arm around me and we just sat
there and said and yeah, it felt messy and awful,
(04:05):
but the support from her helped me to just let
the feelings flow. They had to get out of my
body instead of just being camouflaged. And you know what,
there's a real danger in not feeling. Have you ever
stopped to think about why we don't feel comfortable feeling?
(04:26):
Why are we shutting down our feelings or shutting them
off let's get real about why we run from our feelings.
We're scared. We're scared we're going to overwhelm others with
our pain, or that people will judge us for not
being strong. Sometimes we think if we open the floodgates,
(04:46):
we might not be able to stop them. Or maybe
we believe that ignoring a feeling will make it disappear.
Spoiler alert, it doesn't. Sometimes we just try to distract ourselves.
We zone out on social media, we use food to
comfort ourselves, or we self medicate with alcohol or drugs
(05:08):
to just numb the feelings away. I'm telling you right now,
these actions they only make things worse. You know. Studies
have actually proven the negative impact on our bodies when
we don't feel. When we suppress our emotions, our bodies
(05:29):
activate the fight or flight response, which can really ramp
up your stress hormones, your cortisol, you're adrenaline, and the
continual activation of this stress can adversely affect our cardiovascular health,
our immunity, and our digestive systems. It can lean to
muscle tension, pain, and the dreaded sleep disturbances, which I
(05:55):
don't need to have. And I know when I'm holding
my feelings in I feel like I am walking around
with rocks in my stomach. It affects my eating, my sleep.
I get exhausted from carrying that extra weight on my shoulders.
Avoiding emotions makes me feel weighed down, makes me stressed
(06:17):
out and anxious and depressed. If I'm being honest. When
we suppress our feelings, we become emotionally numb, and we
detach from ourselves and from others. Here's the thing. We
have a choice. We can learn to acknowledge, process, and
(06:43):
regulate our emotions in a healthy way. Here are some
of the ways that I have learned to choose me
when it comes to feelings. The first step is permission.
This is probably the most crucial part. Give yourself permission.
Say it out loud. It's okay to feel this because
(07:04):
you know what. It's okay to validate your own feelings.
Then I like to name it. Don't just say I
feel bad, get specific, I feel disappointed in, I feel
angry at, I feel sad because naming it takes away
its power and makes it more manageable. And then I
(07:26):
like to sit with it just for a minute. And
this is the hard part, because it's really the most
impactful thing you can do. Set a timer for one minute,
two minutes, whatever you've got, and without distraction, just sit
with your feelings. Don't analyze them, don't judge them, just
(07:48):
feel them in your body and breathe. Once you've sat
with it, you can take a gentle, healthy, first step
to releasing it. And this isn't about numbing it. It's
about allowing it to move through you. I liked to journal,
write it all down without judgment. Just get it out
(08:11):
of here and get it on the paper. Next up
would be movement. Go for a walk or a run.
Oh I wish I could run, But just let the
feeling move through your body, and then you know I
(08:32):
talk to a trusted friend, share with someone who will
hold the space for you without trying to fix it.
And last, but not least, have a good cry. It's natural.
It's a healthy release. It's not weakness. I'm telling you,
I like to cry. I want you to remember that
(08:54):
choosing your feelings and choosing to feel your feelings is
a profound act of courage. It's how you heal, it's
how you learn, it's how you grow. You don't get
stuck in an emotional cave because you're allowing the feelings
to pass through you instead of staying stuck. And since
(09:15):
you've made it this far with me, here are three
more tips I've found really helpful when it comes to
choosing yourself and processing big, tough emotions. Use your voice. Sometimes,
saying it out loud, even if it's just to yourself
in the car or while you're doing the dishes, can
(09:38):
be incredibly powerful. Give yourself permission to be that person
that talks to themselves. Verbalizing your feelings really helps you
hear them differently. There's something about putting your emotions into
words that makes them feel a little less overwhelming. Here's
(09:58):
some examples. I say something like I'm feeling disappointed about
or oh, this event is making me anxious right now,
you don't need an audience. You just need your own
honest voice, reminding yourself that what you feel is real, valid,
(10:20):
and worthy of attention. That moment of naming it aloud
can create just enough space between you and the feeling
to see it more clearly. Number two, Create a comfort ritual.
Have something simple you do just for you, something that
(10:42):
tells your nervous system, Hey, you're safe, I've got you.
It could be lighting a candle, making a warm cup
of tea in your favorite mug, playing a song that
lifts your spirit, or taking five minutes to just step
outside and feel the sun on your face. Maybe it's
(11:02):
a quick stretch, Oh I love a good stretch that
always makes me feel better, a certain scent you love,
or slipping into something cozy after a long day. These
rituals don't have to be complicated. They're just small signals
to your body and mind that say I matter, I
am taking care of me, and finally, give yourself permission
(11:27):
to be imperfect. With this, we are not chasing perfection here.
Choosing yourself isn't a one time decision. It's a practice,
a rhythm you keep returning to. There'll be days when
you forget, when you push yourself too hard or ignore
your feelings because honestly, it's just easier, or what you've
(11:51):
always done. That doesn't mean you've failed, It just means
you're human. What matters most is that you keep circling back,
that you keep trying. Even the tiniest moment of self
awareness counts. A breath counts, a pause counts. Anytime you
(12:11):
choose to notice what's happening inside you. That's a win.
And that's what this is really all about. That's what
I tell myself every day when I choose me. This
is what I choose me is all about, you, guys,
about in those moments, in those tough moments. It's the
(12:31):
ultimate act of self love, self respect, and self honoring.
Don't be afraid of your feelings. Embrace them, feel them,
and take care of them like you would a good friend.
So this week, next time you have a feeling come
up or an emotion that you just want to run from,
(12:55):
give yourself one minute, just one and see what happens.
Thank you so much for joining me today and I
choose me. I will see you next time, and until then,
I want you to take care of yourself and to
remember to always always choose you. Bye.
You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi, everyone,
welcome back to I Choose Me. It's another episode of
Just Jenny today because there are things we need to
talk about just you and me. Have you ever been
(00:22):
in a tough spot, a disagreement with a loved one,
stressful moment at work, or just you know, really disappointing
situation and your first instinct was to shut those feelings down,
to just like push them away, distract yourself, or even
(00:43):
feel bad for having them in the first place. Yeah,
I've done that. On a recent episode, we talked about
not letting ourselves be silenced. Today, I want to talk
about another cornerstone of the I Choose Me philosophy. But
it's probably one of the hardest parts. The importance of
(01:05):
actually feeling your feelings, even when it feels difficult or
like a sign of weakness. And I'm not talking about wallowing.
I'm talking about true self care. It's about giving yourself
permission to be human and to process the beautiful, messy
(01:29):
truth of what's going on inside. We are taught to
be strong, to be positive, to suck it up, Buttercup,
there's a lot of pressure on men but especially on
women to be the steady one, to always appear as
if we have our lives together. When a difficult emotion
(01:50):
comes up, we just instinctually want it to go away.
Let me give you an example. My daughter Lola and
I have a fashion brand that we share and sell
on QVC. We love doing it, but the travel and
the pressure can be a lot. Last time we were
(02:11):
in Pennsylvania. I had just come off the air and
I was feeling pretty good about how it went. And
in the green room at QVC, you can see your
sales numbers in real time, which is yeah, that's nerve wrecking.
I went in and my heart sank because I saw
that our sales were nowhere near our goal for that day.
(02:35):
I could feel my disappointment and I could feel lollless.
I try to keep a smile on my face until
I made it down the hall to my tiny little
dressing room. I closed the door behind me and I
just sank into the chair, feeling the defeat kind of
crashed down on me. My mind immediately went to all
those negative thoughts. I never should have done this. I
(02:58):
am a disappointment to my team, to my daughter Lola.
I'm just not good enough. All of that, I felt
the heat rise up inside me and tears started to come.
And just then, in that moment, Lola came in and instinctively,
I pulled those feelings right back in. I did not
(03:18):
want her to see me fail like that. I didn't
want my emotions to overflow onto her, but she knew
she could see it in my face. I tried to
play it off, but honestly, I'm not very good at
hiding my emotions, so I was honest. I told her
how I was feeling that I just wanted to go
(03:41):
home and crawl in a hole. And she sat very still,
listening and watching as me, the woman in charge leading
this whole project, completely unraveled in front of her, and
she put her arm around me and we just sat
there and said and yeah, it felt messy and awful,
(04:05):
but the support from her helped me to just let
the feelings flow. They had to get out of my
body instead of just being camouflaged. And you know what,
there's a real danger in not feeling. Have you ever
stopped to think about why we don't feel comfortable feeling?
(04:26):
Why are we shutting down our feelings or shutting them
off let's get real about why we run from our feelings.
We're scared. We're scared we're going to overwhelm others with
our pain, or that people will judge us for not
being strong. Sometimes we think if we open the floodgates,
(04:46):
we might not be able to stop them. Or maybe
we believe that ignoring a feeling will make it disappear.
Spoiler alert, it doesn't. Sometimes we just try to distract ourselves.
We zone out on social media, we use food to
comfort ourselves, or we self medicate with alcohol or drugs
(05:08):
to just numb the feelings away. I'm telling you right now,
these actions they only make things worse. You know. Studies
have actually proven the negative impact on our bodies when
we don't feel. When we suppress our emotions, our bodies
(05:29):
activate the fight or flight response, which can really ramp
up your stress hormones, your cortisol, you're adrenaline, and the
continual activation of this stress can adversely affect our cardiovascular health,
our immunity, and our digestive systems. It can lean to
muscle tension, pain, and the dreaded sleep disturbances, which I
(05:55):
don't need to have. And I know when I'm holding
my feelings in I feel like I am walking around
with rocks in my stomach. It affects my eating, my sleep.
I get exhausted from carrying that extra weight on my shoulders.
Avoiding emotions makes me feel weighed down, makes me stressed
(06:17):
out and anxious and depressed. If I'm being honest. When
we suppress our feelings, we become emotionally numb, and we
detach from ourselves and from others. Here's the thing. We
have a choice. We can learn to acknowledge, process, and
(06:43):
regulate our emotions in a healthy way. Here are some
of the ways that I have learned to choose me
when it comes to feelings. The first step is permission.
This is probably the most crucial part. Give yourself permission.
Say it out loud. It's okay to feel this because
(07:04):
you know what. It's okay to validate your own feelings.
Then I like to name it. Don't just say I
feel bad, get specific, I feel disappointed in, I feel
angry at, I feel sad because naming it takes away
its power and makes it more manageable. And then I
(07:26):
like to sit with it just for a minute. And
this is the hard part, because it's really the most
impactful thing you can do. Set a timer for one minute,
two minutes, whatever you've got, and without distraction, just sit
with your feelings. Don't analyze them, don't judge them, just
(07:48):
feel them in your body and breathe. Once you've sat
with it, you can take a gentle, healthy, first step
to releasing it. And this isn't about numbing it. It's
about allowing it to move through you. I liked to journal,
write it all down without judgment. Just get it out
(08:11):
of here and get it on the paper. Next up
would be movement. Go for a walk or a run.
Oh I wish I could run, But just let the
feeling move through your body, and then you know I
(08:32):
talk to a trusted friend, share with someone who will
hold the space for you without trying to fix it.
And last, but not least, have a good cry. It's natural.
It's a healthy release. It's not weakness. I'm telling you,
I like to cry. I want you to remember that
(08:54):
choosing your feelings and choosing to feel your feelings is
a profound act of courage. It's how you heal, it's
how you learn, it's how you grow. You don't get
stuck in an emotional cave because you're allowing the feelings
to pass through you instead of staying stuck. And since
(09:15):
you've made it this far with me, here are three
more tips I've found really helpful when it comes to
choosing yourself and processing big, tough emotions. Use your voice. Sometimes,
saying it out loud, even if it's just to yourself
in the car or while you're doing the dishes, can
(09:38):
be incredibly powerful. Give yourself permission to be that person
that talks to themselves. Verbalizing your feelings really helps you
hear them differently. There's something about putting your emotions into
words that makes them feel a little less overwhelming. Here's
(09:58):
some examples. I say something like I'm feeling disappointed about
or oh, this event is making me anxious right now,
you don't need an audience. You just need your own
honest voice, reminding yourself that what you feel is real, valid,
(10:20):
and worthy of attention. That moment of naming it aloud
can create just enough space between you and the feeling
to see it more clearly. Number two, Create a comfort ritual.
Have something simple you do just for you, something that
(10:42):
tells your nervous system, Hey, you're safe, I've got you.
It could be lighting a candle, making a warm cup
of tea in your favorite mug, playing a song that
lifts your spirit, or taking five minutes to just step
outside and feel the sun on your face. Maybe it's
(11:02):
a quick stretch, Oh I love a good stretch that
always makes me feel better, a certain scent you love,
or slipping into something cozy after a long day. These
rituals don't have to be complicated. They're just small signals
to your body and mind that say I matter, I
am taking care of me, and finally, give yourself permission
(11:27):
to be imperfect. With this, we are not chasing perfection here.
Choosing yourself isn't a one time decision. It's a practice,
a rhythm you keep returning to. There'll be days when
you forget, when you push yourself too hard or ignore
your feelings because honestly, it's just easier, or what you've
(11:51):
always done. That doesn't mean you've failed, It just means
you're human. What matters most is that you keep circling back,
that you keep trying. Even the tiniest moment of self
awareness counts. A breath counts, a pause counts. Anytime you
(12:11):
choose to notice what's happening inside you. That's a win.
And that's what this is really all about. That's what
I tell myself every day when I choose me. This
is what I choose me is all about, you, guys,
about in those moments, in those tough moments. It's the
(12:31):
ultimate act of self love, self respect, and self honoring.
Don't be afraid of your feelings. Embrace them, feel them,
and take care of them like you would a good friend.
So this week, next time you have a feeling come
up or an emotion that you just want to run from,
(12:55):
give yourself one minute, just one and see what happens.
Thank you so much for joining me today and I
choose me. I will see you next time, and until then,
I want you to take care of yourself and to
remember to always always choose you. Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Tori Spelling
Jennie Garth
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