August 5, 2025 • 50 mins
In this episode, breast cancer survivor, keynote speaker, author, model, and Club Member since 2003, Christine Handy shares her remarkable journey through illness, identity, and reinvention. From the runways of Miami and New York to the isolating world of hospital rooms and chemotherapy, Christine’s life was dramatically reshaped by a breast cancer diagnosis that forced her to confront everything she once believed about beauty, strength, and self-worth.
Rather than retreat, Christine emerged with a renewed sense of purpose. Through deep faith, a tight circle of devoted friends, and a desire to serve others, she became a voice for women navigating illness, self-image, and healing. Her memoir Walk Beside Me has inspired thousands, and her story now lives on in the award-winning film Hello Beautiful. In this powerful conversation, Christine reflects on the courage it takes to be vulnerable, the grace found in receiving help, and the legacy that can come from turning personal pain into public light.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So I woke up from the hospital just in such
emotional pain. And then it was months later, when the
physical pain was gone, that I said to myself, Okay,
you use every part of your story to help people.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Why can't you use this part.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Welcome to a Life Well Lived, where we pull back
the curtain on the extraordinary lives of our remarkable members.
I'm James Henderson, CEO of Exclusive Resorts. For me, travel
has never been about the destination. It's always been about
the company you keep. Over the years, I've crossed paths
with some of the world's most fascinating, well traveled individuals,
(00:51):
each bound by a singular pursuit to live not just well,
but exceptionally. Their stories aren't just worth telling, they're worth
learning fromm because in the end, it's not about where
we go, but how we choose to live. In this episode,
(01:17):
we're honored to share the story of Christine Handy, model,
motivation speaker, breast cancer survivor, and author of the best
selling memoir Walk Beside Me. After a life changing diagnosis,
Christine turned pain into purpose. Her story was recently adapted
into the film Hello Beautiful, which has already one Best
Film at the twenty twenty five Beverly Hills Film Festival. Today,
(01:40):
she continues to inspire, redefining beauty, strength, and what it
means to live with purpose. To lead this conversation, we're
joined by season storyteller and friend of the club, Aaron Lenz.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Today we're joined by Christine Handy. Christine, welcome, Thank you.
We're so honored to tell your story today and to
spend some time together. So let's dive right in and
talk about why we're here in Saint Louis and on
this special day. Because your film, Hello Beautiful is premiering
this afternoon, and you've already been on a whirlwind tour
(02:14):
with other cities as well. What do you think is
most resonating with audiences since it's been so well received.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, the team of Hello Beautiful really sought out to
give the world a film about cancer with survivorship, and
that's always been our mission and we believe in the
depth of our soul that this powerful movie has a
place in the world. And of course we think the
(02:42):
finished product is beautiful, but you never really know until
you put it out into the world how the world
will react. And I would say, at this point between
the festivals and you know a few people have seen it.
There's probably six hundred people that have seen this movie.
Six hundred well not many.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Yep, with a lot more on the way, right, But if.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You think about six hundred people seeing a product.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, yeah, it's just not But the wave effect that
it's already created, the posts on Facebook that I often
don't even see people forward it to me, the impact
has already had with six hundred people just makes me
hopeful of the future of this film, that it will
impact six million people. You know, I don't think there's
(03:29):
any ceiling to what we can do when our heart
is pure and it's trying to move mountains and give
people hope and show courage and show resilience. And I
think it's there's not a better time right now the
breast cancer community. We feel like there's an epidemic going right.
Every other day you hear of diagnosisis and it's heartbreaking.
(03:49):
And so to have a product like this that we
can place in the world to show hope, is it matters.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Absolutely, it does. It matters so much so that you've
recently won Best Film at the twenty twenty five Beverly
Hills Film Festival, and then you also just snag Best
Drama Feature at the twenty twenty five Philadelphia Independent Film Festival. Congrats,
thank you. How does it feel to share your story
(04:16):
on the big screen.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, it's different.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I first saw the film on my computer and I
shed a few tears. But when it's on the big
screen and you have the music, which we did in
London with the London Symphony Orchestra, and you have the acting,
which is exceptional, especially with Trisha Helfer and the colorists
who did in a remarkable job to you know, fix
all the mistakes that we had during filming because we
(04:40):
don't have a huge budget like a lions Gate. It
was really profound for me to see that on a
big screen. Of course, I had my son Noah on
one side of me and my father on the other side,
and I think they were both crying.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Thank you all.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, you know, we don't negate the depth of pain
women go through in this movie. We show that because
we don't want to dismiss that part of the journey,
which is intense, but we also show, you know, obviously hope.
We want to show both because people want to be
seen and heard and so often you know, like my
(05:17):
father when he first saw the movie, he said, I
can't believe I didn't know this happened.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I was at the big events in your life.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I was at your masectomy, I was at your first chemo,
and I was there during different parts of your journey.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But I had no idea what you went through.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And he said that's when he really became a believer
of this film because he said, if I didn't know,
when I felt like I was present, how many people
don't know what their spouse is going through, their friend
is going through. And we can't really support people unless
we know. And so for him, that that's become a
big mission for him, is to get it out there
because of that, he wants people to feel seen and
(05:56):
heard and not feel alone like I.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Do talk about the book because that's what led up
to the film. And I'm curious, you know, the film
was adapted from Walk Beside Me, which came.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Out how long ago twenty sixteen.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Twenty sixteen, So now here we are nine years later
and the film is out, and I'm curious, how does
it feel or how is it different to have the
book come out and then the film come out. Is
there a difference in telling the story in those two mediums.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Well, the story is, you can't put everything that happened
to me in a movie, and as an example, I
have just an amountain of women that stand by me
during my cancer diagnosis and the other seasons of illness
in my life. But you can't put twenty women in
a movie. You have to condense it. And so I
did not write the screenplay for the film. Ziad Hamsen
(06:51):
did and he did a remarkable job kind of integrating
the different personalities of the twenty friends into three characters,
three friendships, and we took out two other illnesses that
I had because it became a bit confusing. And so
the book is very different and in real life is
different as well. The book is based on my story.
(07:14):
It's a fictional depiction of my story. The film is
a little further away from even the book. And part
of the reason why we did that is because you
know through I think everybody's family has issues, and especially
when you have illness, and I was a sick mom
for a long time. I had three pretty major illnesses
and that caused some chaos at home and things were
(07:37):
getting left undone at home from a parenting perspective, and
so we wanted to show disruption.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
In the house. But in the book we touched on it.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I touched on it, but in the film we make
it so extremely different than anything my kids experienced, because
we don't want them to think, you know, well, we're
just putting our dirty laundry out into the world. It's
not their dirty laundry, right, And we're just trying to
show that the illness impacts a whole family. And so
I think that the changes were important for not only
(08:10):
me personally, but just to show a journey through breast
cancer with you know, interruption at home and all these
other issues that people go through. But it's almost benign
to me because I didn't exactly go through those types
of things. So there's variations of my story out there
in the book and now the film.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
That's great, excellent. Let's talk about the medical history because
that obviously is the foundation to all of this and
the lead up to the film, and I do want
to talk about, if you're comfortable with it, the two
illnesses that led up to the breast cancer diagnosis. But
let's start with the breast cancer diagnosis. Take us back
(08:52):
to that phone call that I read about in your book,
But to that phone call, which I know isn't easy,
But if you're willing, if you could take us back
to that day and just let listeners know what happened.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You know, I think it matters to talk about the
first two illnesses because there was in my mental state
such a degradation from feeling like I was a self
proclaimed athlete.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
You know, I thought I was an athlete.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I was very good at yoga, and I've probably walked
around the world because I walked so much. And to
have this kind of focus on my external beauty and
to have my first illness, which was a call on
resection and that turned into a debacle, and then the
scars that came with that, and then the arm it
(09:39):
was slowly those things were not only affecting my self esteem,
but I wasn't helping my self esteem as well. I
was so focused on things that don't matter, and so
by the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I
was in such a place of despair. Some I mean,
some would say it was self induced, right, because I
(10:00):
was so focused on things that could be taken away,
like my external beauty and materialism and things that aren't flattering,
But I do talk about those things very freely because
I was extremely focused on the wrong things. So I
think when I got to that place and that moment
of a diagnosis, I just really quit life. I was like, Okay,
(10:24):
all the things I focused on and I did a
really good job focusing on materialism, that's now come to
an end. I could no longer carry the beautiful bags
that I coveted, and now my beautiful hair is going
to be stolen from me. And I was really in
this very much a victim mode. Why is this happening
to me? I had this very privileged attitude, and slowly,
(10:44):
when those things get pruned and you know, stripped away
from you, you have to quickly realize, like, what is
it about you that people are showing up for?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
What part of you is? What part of you matters?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
So going back to that day your question, it was
a horrible day.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Only imagine it was a.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Really chlematic day. And I couldn't believe it. I could
not believe it. I'm allergic to sugar. I like lived
a very healthy life. I have no family history of it.
My mother's best friend died of it the year before,
and I just couldn't believe it. But when it started
to really digest inside of me, I had I was
emotionally paralyzed, and I was making very bad choices.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Bad choice is how so I don't want to hand
on it.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I wanted to. I just wanted my life to be
over right. I couldn't see beyond. I wasn't sure I
was going to make it through chemo therapy to begin with,
because I was I wish they shared with me what
I was about to go through, and I was like,
how am I going to ever get through that? I
couldn't get I couldn't even start chemo therapy because they
said they were going to it would destroy the graphs
in my arm that they had just put in. They
(11:52):
just rebuilt my arm with phone graphs from a cadaver.
And I was like, I can't even start chemo to
fight this illness. How am I ever going to get
through it?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Right?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And if I'm not going to get through it, I'm
just going to take myself out of this equation right now.
And mentally, I was not in obviously a stable place,
like I wasn't doing anybody a favor, but I thought
I was doing.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
People a favor.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I thought, well, my kids, the focus shouldn't be on me,
It shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Be constantly on my illness. It should be on them.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
But that wasn't happening, and so I thought, well, if
I can, just if I quit, then life will be
more normal for them. Well that was a distorted view, right,
But I couldn't I couldn't see that at the time.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Distorted. But I can't even imagine how dark of a
place mentally you traveled to already with all the medical
you know, journey that you had, and they were major
medical traumas that you had leading up to the breast
cancer and then you're told how many that you had
to have a whopping twenty eight therapy? So how did
(12:55):
you get your head wrapped around that? Or can you
Is it one of those things where you're like, okay,
and we can you know, use the title of your
book to talk about this a little bit further too.
But you know, I'll just take this step by step.
I mean, at some point you must have to compartmentalize it, right, Well.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I wasn't thinking that, Yeah, no, not in not in
the midst of it. Yeah, yeah, I wasn't sure how
you know, to be very specific. That very night we
were supposed to see an oncologist, my ex husband and
I and I couldn't go to that appointment. I was
so frightened and I couldn't hear anything at the time,
and so and we kind of got into a squabble
(13:34):
about it. He was like, you have to go. They
have to tell you, and I said, no, you have
to go. They'll tell you and you can take notes.
I can't go. I'm so afraid. And so is that
that fear that just was strangling me. And I remember
saying to my ex husband, we need to tell the
(13:54):
kids because I they're going to know something's wrong.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I can't hide this.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
And so we told my younger son, but my older
son was in boarding school, and so slowly, you know,
I got into the mode of okay, I have to
take that step by step, moment by moment, day by day.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But that was a while for me, right, it was
a while, but too long time.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Yeah. I was going to ask if you can remember
what that time span was like.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Well, I okay, So I went through fifteen months of
chemo yep, and the arm situation was a year. So
I would say three months into chemo I started to go, Okay,
I may there may be a reason for my life.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
There may be a reason for me to stay here. Yeah,
but it was.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It took me a while, and I had all these
women show up for me every single day. One of
my best friends made a calendar of friends. She had
a Monday girl, she had a Tuesday girl, a Wednesday, Thursday,
and Friday girl, and she had floaters on the weekend.
Every single day one of my very best friends showed
up at eight in the morning until five o'clock at night,
and they took care of me. They took care of
(14:59):
my kids, They took care of everything. If I had
to go to an appointment, they took me. If I
had to if I needed to be fed, they fed me.
There were two times during my journey where I could
not lift my arm, so I couldn't even take a
sip of water. Wow, because I had a cast in
my right arm from my fingernip my fingertips to my shoulder.
And then on this arm I had just had lymph
(15:21):
nodes removed and you can't lift your arm for seven days.
So I was literally like this and people were feeding me.
And that's a really dark place to be in because
I felt like I was a pretty independent person for
a long time and now I was literally being taken
care of, and I thought, this is not the life
I want to live.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Oh yeah, And you call that tribe of women your
angels in your book, and I would imagine that tribe
has maybe even gotten larger, that there's still very much
a part of your life. I found that such a
moving aspect to reading your story and learning about your journey.
(16:01):
Can you talk to us a little bit about your
angels further and the bracelets and how that you use
the word movement earlier, and I think that movement is
very much gaining momentum. So what was that haircut party?
Like I wanted to ask about, which is I'm sure
hard to sort of relive as well, But it is,
(16:23):
as you said, one of the first things, whether it's
vain or not, it's human right. You're told that you
have cancer and we all think about I'm going to
lose my beautiful hair, I'm going to look a certain way,
and that haircut party. Talk to us a little bit
about that, and is it in the movie. I'm curious
about that as well.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
The haircut party was just kind of one of the
beginnings of these friends who just were take took over
my life. Like I mean, this is going to sound silly,
but my friend, one of my friends, had picked me
up and she had a bought my favorite wine in
the car.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I mean, this is the tiny little thing. And I
showed up and I didn't know it was a haircut party.
It was a surprise.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
So I showed up at the hairdressers and I wanted
to go on a Sunday because I was embarrassed. I
made the haircut appointment for a Sunday because I felt shame.
And you know, because let me talk about that for
a second. When my parents were I was little and
somebody would be diagnosed with cancer, my parents would go, oh,
so and so has.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Cancer A whisper, a whisper.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Because it was almost shameful.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
And so when I was diagnosed with cancer, I was like,
I like, have I feel so much shame?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And that's sad, right, that's terrible.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
There's a terrible emotion on.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Top of the beer and shame and guilt like what
did I do? What did I how did this happen?
And guilt as a parent. Right, I'm sick all the
time and here are these kids that need to be
taken care of. So the going back to the haircut party,
I made it for a Sunday, so nobody was there.
All of a sudden, we pull up in my friend's
car and I'm trying to drink a glass of wine.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I got a full cast.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
On my right arm and we pull up to the
hairdresser place and there's tons of people there.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Oh that's so hard.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Some friends flew in town from Saint.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Louis, so it was a citible thirty people who all
sat there with me and watched him cut my hair,
and my son Luke gave my other son a hair
wash and you know, so people were actively doing other
things at the time, but I'll never forget that that was.
That was a real moment where I thought, gosh, people
(18:32):
are really showing up for me. Why yes, if they
care about me, why what is about me? And that's
when I started to do some introspective work to figure out, well,
where what part of me is lovable? If these other
things aren't my measure, what part of me is lovable?
And so that's when I started to really figure it out.
(18:52):
I wasn't that is well.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Of course, all the meaning and just this short amount
of time, there's such a light that you carry. And
so if can you talk about that a little bit
more about what why your levable and what you found
the positive? If you can, let's talk about the positive
the best and worst aspects of cancer.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Oh gosh, which I know that's a best.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Part of the answer. Well, you know what, it really
did transform my life. So I'll say that I wouldn't
wish it upon anybody. It's so difficult physically from a
physical standpoint as well as emotional. Maybe I find the
emotional to be way worse.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
But it did. It cleared up a lot of my
path that was corroded. You know.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
First of all, I started modeling as a child and
that was my decision. Nobody pushed me into the industry,
and but I coveted that. You know, I really if
I didn't get the certain modeling job, I felt bad
about myself and so I tried really hard to get
the next big modeling job. And when I get got
the guest campaign in LA that wasn't big enough for me.
(19:58):
It was always like the goalpost was always moving and
it was my self esteem. It was just not healthy
and looking back, it's so obvious, but at the time,
I didn't think.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
That, Yeah, how do you know?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
How do you know? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
And it would be like I would go shopping and
I'd bring home a bag and then I'd open it
and I'll be like, Okay, now it's used and now
it's old, I need to go get another one.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
It's that mentality of your trying to fill yourself up
with something because you feel some emptiness inside. And I
don't know how that happened or where it started, but
I wasn't necessarily in the perfect industry to nurture my
self esteem.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
How old were you when you started a lot of eleven? Wow?
And your career spanned decades, I mean through you were
still modeling. You're still modeling now.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
And I went agent.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I'm retired, but i still have two contracts out that
I'm waiting for.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
But I'm really retired.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
That must feel nice. Sorry, so great, Well, I do
want to I'm going to hop around a little bit,
but I do want to talk about so you have
said that you're a cancer disruptor, and I want to
ask about how you would define that. And then let's
also talk about the fact that you've done modeling campaigns
(21:11):
since your illness and have been very vocal about females
feeling whole even when they have had their implants removed
or have decided not to go forward with reconstructive surgery.
So if you can talk to us a little bit
about that.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Well, ironically, I think I've become more vocal since my
implants were removed. I had breast and plant illness in
twenty twenty, and when I was diagnosed with breast cancer,
I had mass eectomies. But I never saw my chest
without breasts because I had expanders and then implants right away.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
My chest was never flat. Never.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I never thought that that would ever happen. And so
in twenty twenty, when I had this MRSA infection in
my chest and I woke up in the recovery room,
I felt like down on my chest and I was
in so much pain. It was like an extremely They
took skin, and it's kind of a gnarly surgery because
it was Immersa infection.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
I mean that you had that.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I was Immerse infection.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah, And so when I woke up from that surgery
and I felt this space, I was like, is this concave?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And it was.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I was heartbroken. I just didn't understand. I couldn't. I
guess I couldn't wrap my brain around it. Yeah, it's
beard recently.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
No, No, that's sorry. I just can't imagine. Yeah, we
could take a beat, that's okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
So I woke up from the hospital just in such
emotional pain. And then it was months later, when the
physical pain was gone, that I said to myself, Okay,
you use every part of your story to help people.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Why can't you use this part go back to modeling.
I had never intended.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
To go back to modeling, really never from I'd stop
modeling when my arm debacle happened, and then after my
cancer diagnosis, I was like, this is fine.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I'm never going back to work and I'm fine with that.
And so.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
When this happened with my chest and I got by
that point I had such a large following on social
media's I thought when they'd send me these messages about
how heartbroken they were and they couldn't show it to
their husbands and they couldn't walk out of their house
without a prosthetic, it just broke my heart over and
over again, and I thought, what can I do to
(23:47):
help these women? Other than be on social media saying
my beauty was never dissected because my chest was stolen.
My beauty is I am whole. I made whole in
God's image. Obviously, my my insecurities.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Were completely gone. By that point. I was very much strong.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I was strong mentally and physically, and my self esteem
was very strong when I lost my implants, thank goodness,
but it was still emotionally difficult even with such strong faith.
So I decided that I needed to do something bigger
than just be on social media. And so I did
call my modeling agency and I said I'd really like
(24:25):
to come back to work, and they were like great,
And I said, well, I need to come in and
show you. And they said when I went in, they
said no, really, yeah, they said no.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
How did that feel?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
It felt? I mean, I wasn't surprised.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Yeah, you've been in the industry and you know how
it goes.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But still I had such a strong self esteem at
that point that I really decided that being a light
and going back to modeling, even if they said no,
I could figure out a different way because my ego
wasn't involved. Yes, you know, if they said no, okay,
what is.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
That pride and ego.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
When somebody says no to you, you take it personally.
I wasn't taking it personally. They couldn't see my vision,
and that was fine. So I called my manager in
New York and I said, I need you to get
me into New York Fashion Week as a just somebody
to watch the show. And because I was not a
runway model, I was a print model and I'd never
been to New York Fashion Week, and so she said,
I'll get you in some shows. So I went up
(25:23):
to New York, flew up to New York, and she
got me into some shows. And at the end of
the shows, I would walk up to the designers politely
and kind of get through their entourage and I would say,
my name is Christine Handy. I consider myself a cancer disruptor.
I'm a breast cancer survivor, and I'd like to walk
in your show. I've been modeling for now four decades,
(25:44):
and some people paid attention, and I ended up being
signing with one of the largest modeling agencies in the
country a year later. And so it just goes to
show you that, you know, if one door closes, another.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Door will open.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
That's what I was just thinking.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
That's resilience, that's realmination.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
And so it was.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
About a year after I decided to go back to
modeling that I partnered with Victoria's Secret as a breastless model,
and I think it helped a ton of people. And
I continue to help people because you know, I modeled
in Miami Swim Week in a bathing suit at fifty
some years old.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
It's incredizy.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
That's incredible.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Though.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
What courage? Well, and also I don't know if that's
even the right word, but what an inspiration? And how
do people women you know, that have chosen or or
had it chosen for them that they couldn't have reconstructive surgery?
What's the feedback then, Like when you're up there, you know,
showing how beautiful you are and whole given everything you've
(26:45):
been through. What do people say after shows and when
they come up to you, I'm sure and talk to
you about it.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Well, I think for women it transcends breast cancer. I
think it transcends whether you are a survivor or not.
It's it's it's owing courage. And so often in my
journey I didn't have any courage, and so I borrow
it from my friends or you know, people go on
social media and they see somebody else doing something courageous
and they borrow it from that person. So I was
(27:13):
just trying to show courage so people could borrow it
until they could have their own.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
I love that phrase, borrowing courage when you don't have
your own. That's something that all remember. That's really amazing.
I want to touch on because you mentioned this, and
it's at least in reading your book, and I would
imagine in seeing your film. Faith and spirituality, God whatever,
however we know, however we refer to it, and we
(27:39):
all may refer to it differently, that is something that
was hugely is hugely important to you. And I'm curious
how this experience has deepened that relationship with God for you.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Well, God is my measure for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I mean, when I go to bed at night, I
think to myself, did I do enough to help people today?
Did I shop for the people that I love? Did
I love the people that are in my life today?
Did I reach out to so and so? And then
I'm okay, but I don't. My measure is not things
of this world anymore. It's not a bag or I mean,
(28:16):
i love pretty things.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I do. Who doesn't.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
And I like to look nice. It's not that I
don't like to, you know, look pretty, but it's not
how I weigh my self esteem. And so I think that,
you know, the focus being on God and faith, nobody
can take that from me. And so going back to
when pre cancer, my friends would say to me, I
(28:43):
really would like you to do this Bible study with me,
and I'd say, no.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I've got a yoga class. I go to yoga every Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
And I think back at those times, and I was coveting,
obviously things of this world, and I missed it. I
missed the importance of that. And so when they were
helping me through my journey, they really taught me one
what it looked like to show up for somebody and
why that matters. And they would say to me, when
you're done with when we're done with serving you, you're
(29:09):
going to go out and serve the world. And God
would never forsake you, and we will never forsake you.
And that really, you know, giving up their time and
their resources for their own families, it didn't matter to
them because I was their Bible study at the time.
And so for fifteen months. I learned that from them,
and that was a pivotal moment in my life and
(29:31):
my journey, and I realized that the tenants of faith
were more important than what society feeds us often, which is,
you know, the billboards are they're seducing.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Right selection everywhere.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
It's very glamorous. And yes, they roped me in and
I was stuck.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
But I'd rather talk about God than anything else. I'd
rather listen to spiritual podcasts and spiritual music because it
keeps me on the right path, right, and that that's
what I feed my soul.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
I love that you remind too, that that is something
that can't be taken away. All the physical can be
stripped away, which you experienced, but that is something that
is at the core, special and truly yours in all
of it. What would you say to someone and I'm
sure you've gotten to ask this quite a bit, or
(30:26):
you know, or someone coming up who's been recently diagnosed,
what's your advice to someone that's been recently diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I don't get asked that a lot.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I actually get asked, what would you say to somebody
who is recently diagnosed? And what I say to people
is say, because people don't know what to say, right,
And I always say, just tell them. You don't know
what to say, but you want to be there to
help them. So, you know, people I mentor breast cancer patients,
whether it's online or in person, and I try to
(30:57):
say to them in a non threatening way, this is
how I focus my life, which is faith. Because some
people don't focus on that, and that's fine. I'm not
trying to push that on anybody. I can only share
with how I got through something. But I also talk about,
you know, giving yourself a lot of grace because we
mess up in you know, our journeys, we get angry.
(31:19):
Fear translates into anger, and so when I was very
afraid during the beginning of my journey, I got very angry,
angry at life and angry at myself. And so I
talk about grace a lot, and I talk about, you know,
obviously faith, and I talk about finding the right people
that will always stay with you in the seasons of
(31:39):
goodness and the seasons of difficulty. But keep those people
around because you're going to need them. And I also
tell them talk about ego. You've got to let go
of your pride and your ego, because so often we're
taught in this world that we can do it on
our own, and independence is revered in this world. I
think that's pride. I think that's ego. When I was
(32:02):
downed to nothing and literally couldn't take a sip of water,
that's when I was almost at my best because that's
when people were able to show up for me. That's
when people were able to help me. And that's what
we're supposed to do. And so if we let go
of our pride and ego and say, Okay, I'm going
to accept your help even though I'm prior to cancer,
(32:23):
I'd be like, oh no, I'm good, I can do it.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
I've got this, I've got this.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
We don't really right, And so I talk about that
a lot. Let people help you, let people serve, because
that's a gift that.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
They want to give. Don't take that from them.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Absolutely absolutely on that note, and you mentioned your father
and his reaction to the film and your son's reaction
to the film. What has been a positive side to
your journey with breast cancer with your family? Obviously there
was so much pain and suffering and a lot of hardship,
(32:59):
but then you know, there's also things that make you smile,
and there was a lot of growth and some positive outcomes.
So I'm curious about that.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Well.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
I think it's how we react ultimately to pain and trauma.
And I think my kids seeing me try to help
other people is a good lesson for them because I
think that they saw me, you know, being very self
indulgent for a very long time. Again, I talk about
the unflattering parts because they don't ever want to say
about my story.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Oh, I had all these people show up for me.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
I had all these people bring me gifts, and they
were there for me every day, and my life was
so great.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
There was some lacking at home, right.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
That's it's not fair to anybody because they're going to
compare themselves to maybe their journey to be like, well, shoot,
like she's just this privileged girl, right, Okay, maybe, but
there's parts that were difficult at home, and so I
try to just be very vulnerable and honest about the
story so it's relatable to people. But there's been a
(33:58):
lot of healing with my own sons. Again, they're boys,
and so it's not easy to emote how they feel,
especially at eleven and thirteen and again, fear translates into anger,
and so they were afraid I was going to die.
So what would they do? They pushed me away. They
would spend no time with me.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
And that's fair especially at those ages too, right, or
it's delicate ages. Through that, you mentioned the word privilege,
which I'm curious about how you would describe privilege now
versus how you would have described privilege, say ten years ago,
before all of this started.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
What a great question.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I think the greatest privileges in my life are to
show up for people, are to love people, are to
serve people. I think it's one of the greatest privileges
I will ever do is to do a project like
this with my intention to help. I think privilege. My
definition of privilege before this was I had the privilege
(34:57):
of money and things and acts SaaS those things that
look different now, Yeah, great question.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
It takes one thing to be cancer, which you've so
courageously done. It takes another level of courage to share
your story in such a vulnerable way, which shows in
your book Walk Beside Me and then now also with
your film premiere, Hello Beautiful. Why do you think it's
important to share our personal stories?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Well, I took it as a call to action from
my friends who said when they showed up for me
for months, month after month after month, that that was
kind of my next step.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
And I I.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Really took that as something that was necessary, especially since
what I.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
Was seeing.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
In the world that I was young and diagnosed with
cancer and I didn't see I didn't have any contemporaries
with it. So I thought I could be a light
to that demographic of people, that kind of younger group.
But I also thought of the time, because I had
become so ingrained and kind of focused on my faith,
that it was kind of my mission.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
And so to.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Be vulnerable your story is want. It takes courage, You're right,
But to hoard your story, I think it doesn't help anybody,
And so it was a choice.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
It is always a choice for people.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
And obviously I'm not telling people that they showed or shouldn't.
But if you add up the amount of people that
I have helped, if I had hoarded my story, I
could have never helped those people.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
I think that would have been a waste of pain.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Yes, let's talk about that further too, that you've turned
pain into purpose, and if you had someone you know
really going through it. And I'm sure you have people
talk to you at different stages of a cancer journey
or a medical What takeaways would you give to someone
of how to turn pain into purpose.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Well, Being vulnerable, I think is the biggest way to
serve in pain because so often, like let's take social
media or you know, podcasts, often people tell the flowery
version of their story. They tell the moments that they
won the award or they got the whatever. And I
(37:30):
just think that's unfair to the world because in all
the highlight reels that we see on social media, I
think the hurting people. And so if you have a
diagnosis or if you're going through pain or season of illness,
I think that can be such a serving moment and
you can touch lives. It's relatable and it's happening. It's
(37:53):
not like people don't go through illness in different seasons
of their life, in difficult, difficult seasons.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It doesn't have to be illness divorce.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You know, if you're not, if nobody's out there talking
about it, then people feel very alone.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Loneliness is tough. Nobody wants to feel alone.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
So I think by sharing in a vulnerable way in
an honest way. It helps people not feel alone. It
also helps people feel like they're kind of normal versus
just looking on social media and seeing everybody going on
these amazing trips and go, gosh, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (38:24):
I'm not feel bad right right?
Speaker 2 (38:26):
If I feel bad?
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Yeah, And I don't believe in comparison, right, but I
think a lot of people do it.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Oh, I think we live in a culture of comparative suffering.
Someone you exactly that term with me. You mentioned trips.
So let's talk about travel a little bit. Uh. Travel
has obviously been really important to you. You've taken your
family to many wonderful places. How has travel been a
(38:51):
healer for you or has it?
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Oh? No, it definitely has.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
In fact, well, in the last three years we've I've
done some pretty significant travel with my significant other, and
I think it's been very healing for me. First of all,
you get out of your own space, you get you're
out of your own head, and you see different cultures
and you see different you know, for us, we just
got back from Antarctica in January, and just being around
(39:17):
nature for an extended period of time, you know, I
think was just a really healing way for myself to
just kind of get away from the difficulty of trying
to get this movie out there and kind of the
stress of it. And you know, I live in chronic pain.
I have pain in my arm, and I still have
(39:38):
pain in my chest. And you know, when you're out
traveling and you're doing adventures and you're getting out of
your own head, that helps with getting away from that
kind of pain as well.
Speaker 4 (39:48):
Is there or are there specific destinations that you like
to go back to year after year, or do you
like to go to new places?
Speaker 1 (39:58):
I think both. I think I liked to feel very
grounded and rooted. I think especially because I've had a
lot of illness in my life. You know, being kind
of having a home base really matters to me. But
when I travel, I like to see, I like to learn,
so I like to do kind of historical stuff and
learn from different places around the world.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
There's so many places to go.
Speaker 4 (40:22):
Do you have a trip upcoming trip plans that you're
looking forward to.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I'd like to go to Asia.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
It has been on my list for a very long time,
so we're talking about it.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Yeah, that's on my list too. By the way, I
haven't been to Asia yet either. And I hear it.
It's incredible.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Excellent, Okay, rapid fire. How do you sharpen your knife?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Oh? God? Bible reading?
Speaker 4 (40:49):
And what is a daily ritual you protect at all costs?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
I pray at twelve thirty.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
One place in the world that has changed how you
see everything?
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Maybe Antarctica?
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Hm? And how so, how did it change your perspective?
Speaker 2 (41:11):
It?
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Well, it broadened my perspective, but it also it made
me feel like.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Simple is better. It made me really yearn for.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
A simpler life being in Antarctica. Yeah, I really shifted there.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
That's awesome. What are you hoping your children or loved
ones say about you someday that.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
My mom served Hm?
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Failure, you're secretly grateful for failed?
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Honey? What have I failed? That? I was glad about.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
I don't think she fails it much. That's all that's hard. Oh?
Are you a greet as chef? So we were joined
by Tom Turklet, Christine's partner. Tom. Welcome. We're happy to
have you here today. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
It's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
Christine. Tell us how you met? We met on zoom
actually the first time we ever met.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
We were set up and Tom lives in Boston, and
at the time I was in Miami, and we zoomed
for about six times, and I really say, I tell
him now all the time I fell in love with him.
On our third zoom, wore he somehow knew I love
the color yellow, and he wore a yellow shirt and
(42:34):
my heart just melted and I thought, this is my guy.
And then he flew down to Miami and we went
on kind of a weekend of days. And I'll let
him tell his side of that story.
Speaker 5 (42:48):
My side of the story, huh. It was interesting because
when you are age dating with the technology didn't exist
when we grew up, and so especially when you're in
different cities. You know, when you're in high school or college,
you date and what goes well, you want to go
see somebody the next weekend. It's a lot harder to do.
When he had a fly a thousand miles and so
(43:10):
I actually own a bunch of property in Florida and
I could fine a business trip. And we set one
date on a Friday, and we said, look, if it
works well, we can have a contingency date on a Saturday.
And that was it. And it just sucks and I
go to work on Monday, and it turned out that
we had a really good time the Monday night or
Friday night, and then we went again to Saturday night
and then actually Sunday night, and then she actually came
(43:32):
with me on a couple of my property tours on
Monday and Tuesday, and so it worked out well. And
she did say something that was very important too, which
was we did get to know each other on Zoom
and the technology is good and that you it takes
a little pressure off, you know, when you do it
on zoom and you went I think Wisconsin, right at
(43:54):
your parents' house. We met and I was primarily I
think at home in Boston, but we got to know
each other well, so it was not as as distracting
is distracting a meeting for the first time, because we
actually knew each other a little.
Speaker 4 (44:10):
Bit right before we met.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
You well, if you think about it, six zooms is
six hours and you don't have a waiter that's you know,
come over to disrupt the conversation or to interject, and
so we really when you're sitting in front of a
screen for six hours with somebody, you really get to
know them, and it's it becomes very lovely.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
It was lovely for.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Me and the yellow shirt.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
But I'm also curious about in those zooms, I would
imagine Tom that Christine was forthcoming at some point about
her her medical journey. And I'm curious. And now you've
been together for how long before I asked this question?
Three years? I think so, so three years? What have
you found now that you're watching Christine tell her story
to a wider audience most inspiring about her?
Speaker 5 (45:03):
It's actually pretty simple and very privileged to get to
know it as well. You know, life could be difficult,
just to state the obvious. We all go through our
own pains and travails of different types, and how you
deal with those difficulties really defines you and finds your character.
And we all know people like that. And you know,
(45:24):
she went through pure hell multiple times and instead of
you know, ruining in misery or complaining or saying why,
she used it for good. And that's not easy to do.
It takes a lot to overcome that kind of adversity,
and in Christine's case, multiple times. But I really am
proud of her and proud of the way that she
(45:46):
uses it and is a message of hope for other people.
And that's really important because you know, there are a
lot of people, as you're all well aware, there are
a lot of pains out there right now. A lot
of incidences and increase incidence is of mental health and loneliness,
those kinds of things, and we all need help and
it's very hard to do it. You know, we joked
(46:07):
earlier about about how you know, I'm a very private person,
and you know I grew up at a time when
you didn't share things like that. You dealt with it yourself,
and so give a lot of credit to go through.
I've gone through things in my life as well, not
as severe as she's gone through, but how you handle
liberally defines you. And that really defines her to me
(46:27):
in terms of how well she's handled it, overcome it,
dealt with it, and also used it as a tool
to help other people.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
Well. I hear you are both Christine. We know that
you love to travel. Tom. I hear you've been in
ninety two countries, Is that right?
Speaker 5 (46:42):
That's correct?
Speaker 4 (46:43):
Where have you been that's been some of your most
favorite destinations? And where are you looking forward to going?
Speaker 5 (46:51):
I travel a lot for business but also personal and
my favorite place, probably the place to which I've been
the most is Paris. Go to Europe a lot. I've
really traveled all over the world. Antarctica was on my
bucket list as a place to go, and Chris Jane's right,
it really is nothing like anything you can imagine. And
(47:17):
my next large trip bucket list trip is a safari
in Africa and we're planning on that for a couple
summers from now. We have a good friend who spent
a lot of our career in Japan, and that's probably
our next trip we're planning right now is to go
to Japan and she'll be our guide for a couple
of weeks. Oh fine, to take us to off the
(47:38):
beaten path places, and I think that's what we have
planned right now. We're probably going to go to Europe
one more time this summer, but we haven't planned where yet.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
Those sound like amazing trips. When you go on safari,
will you take your two sons and do you have
children as well?
Speaker 2 (47:53):
In your trap?
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (47:54):
Wow, well that the children go with you?
Speaker 5 (47:56):
Do you think that's the intent is Depending upon schedules,
it's hard to core everything, but they're all going to
be invited nice.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
One last question for you, Tom, what is one thing
that listeners would be surprised to know about Christine.
Speaker 5 (48:14):
To surprise them, I think it would be, as Christine
mentioned and has a lot to do with this story,
she has a good fortune of coming from privilege, and
that has a lot of different manifestations, from good schools,
to safe streets to things like that, and to having
people take care of you, and that really hasn't affected
(48:40):
her in terms of her thinking. I grew up with
a lot of people that way we all have who've
had privilege, who take it for granted and who assume
it as part of their life, and also I think
makes them more fragile to deal with difficulties. And I
used to joke with Christine about, you know, the lottery
(49:03):
from which she came, which is not a fault, not
a good or bad thing. She's very fortunate, but to
not have it matter, it's probably the most important thing
that What matters to her as her faith, her relationships,
how she takes care of her kids, and as you
can tell from most of this interview, how much she
cares about the people around her who've helped her, and
(49:24):
too care.
Speaker 4 (49:26):
Well said beautiful. Thank you so much for being here,
as a pleasure to speak with both of you. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 5 (49:32):
Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 3 (49:42):
Stories like this are a window into what makes the
Exclusive Resorts community unlike any other, filled with members who
live with intention and travel without compromise. With more than
four hundred private residences and curated experiences around the world,
the club continues to redefine the arts of Meanwhile, learn
more at Exclusive Resorts dot com.
So I woke up from the hospital just in such
emotional pain. And then it was months later, when the
physical pain was gone, that I said to myself, Okay,
you use every part of your story to help people.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Why can't you use this part.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Welcome to a Life Well Lived, where we pull back
the curtain on the extraordinary lives of our remarkable members.
I'm James Henderson, CEO of Exclusive Resorts. For me, travel
has never been about the destination. It's always been about
the company you keep. Over the years, I've crossed paths
with some of the world's most fascinating, well traveled individuals,
(00:51):
each bound by a singular pursuit to live not just well,
but exceptionally. Their stories aren't just worth telling, they're worth
learning fromm because in the end, it's not about where
we go, but how we choose to live. In this episode,
(01:17):
we're honored to share the story of Christine Handy, model,
motivation speaker, breast cancer survivor, and author of the best
selling memoir Walk Beside Me. After a life changing diagnosis,
Christine turned pain into purpose. Her story was recently adapted
into the film Hello Beautiful, which has already one Best
Film at the twenty twenty five Beverly Hills Film Festival. Today,
(01:40):
she continues to inspire, redefining beauty, strength, and what it
means to live with purpose. To lead this conversation, we're
joined by season storyteller and friend of the club, Aaron Lenz.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Today we're joined by Christine Handy. Christine, welcome, Thank you.
We're so honored to tell your story today and to
spend some time together. So let's dive right in and
talk about why we're here in Saint Louis and on
this special day. Because your film, Hello Beautiful is premiering
this afternoon, and you've already been on a whirlwind tour
(02:14):
with other cities as well. What do you think is
most resonating with audiences since it's been so well received.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Well, the team of Hello Beautiful really sought out to
give the world a film about cancer with survivorship, and
that's always been our mission and we believe in the
depth of our soul that this powerful movie has a
place in the world. And of course we think the
(02:42):
finished product is beautiful, but you never really know until
you put it out into the world how the world
will react. And I would say, at this point between
the festivals and you know a few people have seen it.
There's probably six hundred people that have seen this movie.
Six hundred well not many.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Yep, with a lot more on the way, right, But if.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You think about six hundred people seeing a product.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, yeah, it's just not But the wave effect that
it's already created, the posts on Facebook that I often
don't even see people forward it to me, the impact
has already had with six hundred people just makes me
hopeful of the future of this film, that it will
impact six million people. You know, I don't think there's
(03:29):
any ceiling to what we can do when our heart
is pure and it's trying to move mountains and give
people hope and show courage and show resilience. And I
think it's there's not a better time right now the
breast cancer community. We feel like there's an epidemic going right.
Every other day you hear of diagnosisis and it's heartbreaking.
(03:49):
And so to have a product like this that we
can place in the world to show hope, is it matters.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Absolutely, it does. It matters so much so that you've
recently won Best Film at the twenty twenty five Beverly
Hills Film Festival, and then you also just snag Best
Drama Feature at the twenty twenty five Philadelphia Independent Film Festival. Congrats,
thank you. How does it feel to share your story
(04:16):
on the big screen.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Well, it's different.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I first saw the film on my computer and I
shed a few tears. But when it's on the big
screen and you have the music, which we did in
London with the London Symphony Orchestra, and you have the acting,
which is exceptional, especially with Trisha Helfer and the colorists
who did in a remarkable job to you know, fix
all the mistakes that we had during filming because we
(04:40):
don't have a huge budget like a lions Gate. It
was really profound for me to see that on a
big screen. Of course, I had my son Noah on
one side of me and my father on the other side,
and I think they were both crying.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Thank you all.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, you know, we don't negate the depth of pain
women go through in this movie. We show that because
we don't want to dismiss that part of the journey,
which is intense, but we also show, you know, obviously hope.
We want to show both because people want to be
seen and heard and so often you know, like my
(05:17):
father when he first saw the movie, he said, I
can't believe I didn't know this happened.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I was at the big events in your life.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I was at your masectomy, I was at your first chemo,
and I was there during different parts of your journey.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But I had no idea what you went through.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And he said that's when he really became a believer
of this film because he said, if I didn't know,
when I felt like I was present, how many people
don't know what their spouse is going through, their friend
is going through. And we can't really support people unless
we know. And so for him, that that's become a
big mission for him, is to get it out there
because of that, he wants people to feel seen and
(05:56):
heard and not feel alone like I.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Do talk about the book because that's what led up
to the film. And I'm curious, you know, the film
was adapted from Walk Beside Me, which came.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Out how long ago twenty sixteen.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Twenty sixteen, So now here we are nine years later
and the film is out, and I'm curious, how does
it feel or how is it different to have the
book come out and then the film come out. Is
there a difference in telling the story in those two mediums.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Well, the story is, you can't put everything that happened
to me in a movie, and as an example, I
have just an amountain of women that stand by me
during my cancer diagnosis and the other seasons of illness
in my life. But you can't put twenty women in
a movie. You have to condense it. And so I
did not write the screenplay for the film. Ziad Hamsen
(06:51):
did and he did a remarkable job kind of integrating
the different personalities of the twenty friends into three characters,
three friendships, and we took out two other illnesses that
I had because it became a bit confusing. And so
the book is very different and in real life is
different as well. The book is based on my story.
(07:14):
It's a fictional depiction of my story. The film is
a little further away from even the book. And part
of the reason why we did that is because you
know through I think everybody's family has issues, and especially
when you have illness, and I was a sick mom
for a long time. I had three pretty major illnesses
and that caused some chaos at home and things were
(07:37):
getting left undone at home from a parenting perspective, and
so we wanted to show disruption.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
In the house. But in the book we touched on it.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
I touched on it, but in the film we make
it so extremely different than anything my kids experienced, because
we don't want them to think, you know, well, we're
just putting our dirty laundry out into the world. It's
not their dirty laundry, right, And we're just trying to
show that the illness impacts a whole family. And so
I think that the changes were important for not only
(08:10):
me personally, but just to show a journey through breast
cancer with you know, interruption at home and all these
other issues that people go through. But it's almost benign
to me because I didn't exactly go through those types
of things. So there's variations of my story out there
in the book and now the film.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
That's great, excellent. Let's talk about the medical history because
that obviously is the foundation to all of this and
the lead up to the film, and I do want
to talk about, if you're comfortable with it, the two
illnesses that led up to the breast cancer diagnosis. But
let's start with the breast cancer diagnosis. Take us back
(08:52):
to that phone call that I read about in your book,
But to that phone call, which I know isn't easy,
But if you're willing, if you could take us back
to that day and just let listeners know what happened.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
You know, I think it matters to talk about the
first two illnesses because there was in my mental state
such a degradation from feeling like I was a self
proclaimed athlete.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
You know, I thought I was an athlete.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I was very good at yoga, and I've probably walked
around the world because I walked so much. And to
have this kind of focus on my external beauty and
to have my first illness, which was a call on
resection and that turned into a debacle, and then the
scars that came with that, and then the arm it
(09:39):
was slowly those things were not only affecting my self esteem,
but I wasn't helping my self esteem as well. I
was so focused on things that don't matter, and so
by the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I
was in such a place of despair. Some I mean,
some would say it was self induced, right, because I
(10:00):
was so focused on things that could be taken away,
like my external beauty and materialism and things that aren't flattering,
But I do talk about those things very freely because
I was extremely focused on the wrong things. So I
think when I got to that place and that moment
of a diagnosis, I just really quit life. I was like, Okay,
(10:24):
all the things I focused on and I did a
really good job focusing on materialism, that's now come to
an end. I could no longer carry the beautiful bags
that I coveted, and now my beautiful hair is going
to be stolen from me. And I was really in
this very much a victim mode. Why is this happening
to me? I had this very privileged attitude, and slowly,
(10:44):
when those things get pruned and you know, stripped away
from you, you have to quickly realize, like, what is
it about you that people are showing up for?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
What part of you is? What part of you matters?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
So going back to that day your question, it was
a horrible day.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Only imagine it was a.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Really chlematic day. And I couldn't believe it. I could
not believe it. I'm allergic to sugar. I like lived
a very healthy life. I have no family history of it.
My mother's best friend died of it the year before,
and I just couldn't believe it. But when it started
to really digest inside of me, I had I was
emotionally paralyzed, and I was making very bad choices.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Bad choice is how so I don't want to hand
on it.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I wanted to. I just wanted my life to be
over right. I couldn't see beyond. I wasn't sure I
was going to make it through chemo therapy to begin with,
because I was I wish they shared with me what
I was about to go through, and I was like,
how am I going to ever get through that? I
couldn't get I couldn't even start chemo therapy because they
said they were going to it would destroy the graphs
in my arm that they had just put in. They
(11:52):
just rebuilt my arm with phone graphs from a cadaver.
And I was like, I can't even start chemo to
fight this illness. How am I ever going to get
through it?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Right?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
And if I'm not going to get through it, I'm
just going to take myself out of this equation right now.
And mentally, I was not in obviously a stable place,
like I wasn't doing anybody a favor, but I thought
I was doing.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
People a favor.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I thought, well, my kids, the focus shouldn't be on me,
It shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Be constantly on my illness. It should be on them.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
But that wasn't happening, and so I thought, well, if
I can, just if I quit, then life will be
more normal for them. Well that was a distorted view, right,
But I couldn't I couldn't see that at the time.
Speaker 4 (12:31):
Distorted. But I can't even imagine how dark of a
place mentally you traveled to already with all the medical
you know, journey that you had, and they were major
medical traumas that you had leading up to the breast
cancer and then you're told how many that you had
to have a whopping twenty eight therapy? So how did
(12:55):
you get your head wrapped around that? Or can you
Is it one of those things where you're like, okay,
and we can you know, use the title of your
book to talk about this a little bit further too.
But you know, I'll just take this step by step.
I mean, at some point you must have to compartmentalize it, right, Well.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I wasn't thinking that, Yeah, no, not in not in
the midst of it. Yeah, yeah, I wasn't sure how
you know, to be very specific. That very night we
were supposed to see an oncologist, my ex husband and
I and I couldn't go to that appointment. I was
so frightened and I couldn't hear anything at the time,
and so and we kind of got into a squabble
(13:34):
about it. He was like, you have to go. They
have to tell you, and I said, no, you have
to go. They'll tell you and you can take notes.
I can't go. I'm so afraid. And so is that
that fear that just was strangling me. And I remember
saying to my ex husband, we need to tell the
(13:54):
kids because I they're going to know something's wrong.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I can't hide this.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
And so we told my younger son, but my older
son was in boarding school, and so slowly, you know,
I got into the mode of okay, I have to
take that step by step, moment by moment, day by day.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But that was a while for me, right, it was
a while, but too long time.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Yeah. I was going to ask if you can remember
what that time span was like.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Well, I okay, So I went through fifteen months of
chemo yep, and the arm situation was a year. So
I would say three months into chemo I started to go, Okay,
I may there may be a reason for my life.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
There may be a reason for me to stay here. Yeah,
but it was.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
It took me a while, and I had all these
women show up for me every single day. One of
my best friends made a calendar of friends. She had
a Monday girl, she had a Tuesday girl, a Wednesday, Thursday,
and Friday girl, and she had floaters on the weekend.
Every single day one of my very best friends showed
up at eight in the morning until five o'clock at night,
and they took care of me. They took care of
(14:59):
my kids, They took care of everything. If I had
to go to an appointment, they took me. If I
had to if I needed to be fed, they fed me.
There were two times during my journey where I could
not lift my arm, so I couldn't even take a
sip of water. Wow, because I had a cast in
my right arm from my fingernip my fingertips to my shoulder.
And then on this arm I had just had lymph
(15:21):
nodes removed and you can't lift your arm for seven days.
So I was literally like this and people were feeding me.
And that's a really dark place to be in because
I felt like I was a pretty independent person for
a long time and now I was literally being taken
care of, and I thought, this is not the life
I want to live.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Oh yeah, And you call that tribe of women your
angels in your book, and I would imagine that tribe
has maybe even gotten larger, that there's still very much
a part of your life. I found that such a
moving aspect to reading your story and learning about your journey.
(16:01):
Can you talk to us a little bit about your
angels further and the bracelets and how that you use
the word movement earlier, and I think that movement is
very much gaining momentum. So what was that haircut party?
Like I wanted to ask about, which is I'm sure
hard to sort of relive as well, But it is,
(16:23):
as you said, one of the first things, whether it's
vain or not, it's human right. You're told that you
have cancer and we all think about I'm going to
lose my beautiful hair, I'm going to look a certain way,
and that haircut party. Talk to us a little bit
about that, and is it in the movie. I'm curious
about that as well.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
The haircut party was just kind of one of the
beginnings of these friends who just were take took over
my life. Like I mean, this is going to sound silly,
but my friend, one of my friends, had picked me
up and she had a bought my favorite wine in
the car.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I mean, this is the tiny little thing. And I
showed up and I didn't know it was a haircut party.
It was a surprise.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
So I showed up at the hairdressers and I wanted
to go on a Sunday because I was embarrassed. I
made the haircut appointment for a Sunday because I felt shame.
And you know, because let me talk about that for
a second. When my parents were I was little and
somebody would be diagnosed with cancer, my parents would go, oh,
so and so has.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Cancer A whisper, a whisper.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Because it was almost shameful.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
And so when I was diagnosed with cancer, I was like,
I like, have I feel so much shame?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
And that's sad, right, that's terrible.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
There's a terrible emotion on.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Top of the beer and shame and guilt like what
did I do? What did I how did this happen?
And guilt as a parent. Right, I'm sick all the
time and here are these kids that need to be
taken care of. So the going back to the haircut party,
I made it for a Sunday, so nobody was there.
All of a sudden, we pull up in my friend's
car and I'm trying to drink a glass of wine.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I got a full cast.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
On my right arm and we pull up to the
hairdresser place and there's tons of people there.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Oh that's so hard.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Some friends flew in town from Saint.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Louis, so it was a citible thirty people who all
sat there with me and watched him cut my hair,
and my son Luke gave my other son a hair
wash and you know, so people were actively doing other
things at the time, but I'll never forget that that was.
That was a real moment where I thought, gosh, people
(18:32):
are really showing up for me. Why yes, if they
care about me, why what is about me? And that's
when I started to do some introspective work to figure out, well,
where what part of me is lovable? If these other
things aren't my measure, what part of me is lovable?
And so that's when I started to really figure it out.
(18:52):
I wasn't that is well.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Of course, all the meaning and just this short amount
of time, there's such a light that you carry. And
so if can you talk about that a little bit
more about what why your levable and what you found
the positive? If you can, let's talk about the positive
the best and worst aspects of cancer.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Oh gosh, which I know that's a best.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Part of the answer. Well, you know what, it really
did transform my life. So I'll say that I wouldn't
wish it upon anybody. It's so difficult physically from a
physical standpoint as well as emotional. Maybe I find the
emotional to be way worse.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
But it did. It cleared up a lot of my
path that was corroded. You know.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
First of all, I started modeling as a child and
that was my decision. Nobody pushed me into the industry,
and but I coveted that. You know, I really if
I didn't get the certain modeling job, I felt bad
about myself and so I tried really hard to get
the next big modeling job. And when I get got
the guest campaign in LA that wasn't big enough for me.
(19:58):
It was always like the goalpost was always moving and
it was my self esteem. It was just not healthy
and looking back, it's so obvious, but at the time,
I didn't think.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
That, Yeah, how do you know?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
How do you know? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:10):
And it would be like I would go shopping and
I'd bring home a bag and then I'd open it
and I'll be like, Okay, now it's used and now
it's old, I need to go get another one.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
It's that mentality of your trying to fill yourself up
with something because you feel some emptiness inside. And I
don't know how that happened or where it started, but
I wasn't necessarily in the perfect industry to nurture my
self esteem.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
How old were you when you started a lot of eleven? Wow?
And your career spanned decades, I mean through you were
still modeling. You're still modeling now.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
And I went agent.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I'm retired, but i still have two contracts out that
I'm waiting for.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
But I'm really retired.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
That must feel nice. Sorry, so great, Well, I do
want to I'm going to hop around a little bit,
but I do want to talk about so you have
said that you're a cancer disruptor, and I want to
ask about how you would define that. And then let's
also talk about the fact that you've done modeling campaigns
(21:11):
since your illness and have been very vocal about females
feeling whole even when they have had their implants removed
or have decided not to go forward with reconstructive surgery.
So if you can talk to us a little bit
about that.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Well, ironically, I think I've become more vocal since my
implants were removed. I had breast and plant illness in
twenty twenty, and when I was diagnosed with breast cancer,
I had mass eectomies. But I never saw my chest
without breasts because I had expanders and then implants right away.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
My chest was never flat. Never.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I never thought that that would ever happen. And so
in twenty twenty, when I had this MRSA infection in
my chest and I woke up in the recovery room,
I felt like down on my chest and I was
in so much pain. It was like an extremely They
took skin, and it's kind of a gnarly surgery because
it was Immersa infection.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
I mean that you had that.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I was Immerse infection.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yeah, And so when I woke up from that surgery
and I felt this space, I was like, is this concave?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And it was.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I was heartbroken. I just didn't understand. I couldn't. I
guess I couldn't wrap my brain around it. Yeah, it's
beard recently.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
No, No, that's sorry. I just can't imagine. Yeah, we
could take a beat, that's okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
So I woke up from the hospital just in such
emotional pain. And then it was months later, when the
physical pain was gone, that I said to myself, Okay,
you use every part of your story to help people.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Why can't you use this part go back to modeling.
I had never intended.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
To go back to modeling, really never from I'd stop
modeling when my arm debacle happened, and then after my
cancer diagnosis, I was like, this is fine.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I'm never going back to work and I'm fine with that.
And so.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
When this happened with my chest and I got by
that point I had such a large following on social
media's I thought when they'd send me these messages about
how heartbroken they were and they couldn't show it to
their husbands and they couldn't walk out of their house
without a prosthetic, it just broke my heart over and
over again, and I thought, what can I do to
(23:47):
help these women? Other than be on social media saying
my beauty was never dissected because my chest was stolen.
My beauty is I am whole. I made whole in
God's image. Obviously, my my insecurities.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Were completely gone. By that point. I was very much strong.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I was strong mentally and physically, and my self esteem
was very strong when I lost my implants, thank goodness,
but it was still emotionally difficult even with such strong faith.
So I decided that I needed to do something bigger
than just be on social media. And so I did
call my modeling agency and I said I'd really like
(24:25):
to come back to work, and they were like great,
And I said, well, I need to come in and
show you. And they said when I went in, they
said no, really, yeah, they said no.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
How did that feel?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
It felt? I mean, I wasn't surprised.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Yeah, you've been in the industry and you know how
it goes.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
But still I had such a strong self esteem at
that point that I really decided that being a light
and going back to modeling, even if they said no,
I could figure out a different way because my ego
wasn't involved. Yes, you know, if they said no, okay,
what is.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
That pride and ego.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
When somebody says no to you, you take it personally.
I wasn't taking it personally. They couldn't see my vision,
and that was fine. So I called my manager in
New York and I said, I need you to get
me into New York Fashion Week as a just somebody
to watch the show. And because I was not a
runway model, I was a print model and I'd never
been to New York Fashion Week, and so she said,
I'll get you in some shows. So I went up
(25:23):
to New York, flew up to New York, and she
got me into some shows. And at the end of
the shows, I would walk up to the designers politely
and kind of get through their entourage and I would say,
my name is Christine Handy. I consider myself a cancer disruptor.
I'm a breast cancer survivor, and I'd like to walk
in your show. I've been modeling for now four decades,
(25:44):
and some people paid attention, and I ended up being
signing with one of the largest modeling agencies in the
country a year later. And so it just goes to
show you that, you know, if one door closes, another.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Door will open.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
That's what I was just thinking.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
That's resilience, that's realmination.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
And so it was.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
About a year after I decided to go back to
modeling that I partnered with Victoria's Secret as a breastless model,
and I think it helped a ton of people. And
I continue to help people because you know, I modeled
in Miami Swim Week in a bathing suit at fifty
some years old.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
It's incredizy.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
That's incredible.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Though.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
What courage? Well, and also I don't know if that's
even the right word, but what an inspiration? And how
do people women you know, that have chosen or or
had it chosen for them that they couldn't have reconstructive surgery?
What's the feedback then, Like when you're up there, you know,
showing how beautiful you are and whole given everything you've
(26:45):
been through. What do people say after shows and when
they come up to you, I'm sure and talk to
you about it.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Well, I think for women it transcends breast cancer. I
think it transcends whether you are a survivor or not.
It's it's it's owing courage. And so often in my
journey I didn't have any courage, and so I borrow
it from my friends or you know, people go on
social media and they see somebody else doing something courageous
and they borrow it from that person. So I was
(27:13):
just trying to show courage so people could borrow it
until they could have their own.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
I love that phrase, borrowing courage when you don't have
your own. That's something that all remember. That's really amazing.
I want to touch on because you mentioned this, and
it's at least in reading your book, and I would
imagine in seeing your film. Faith and spirituality, God whatever,
however we know, however we refer to it, and we
(27:39):
all may refer to it differently, that is something that
was hugely is hugely important to you. And I'm curious
how this experience has deepened that relationship with God for you.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Well, God is my measure for sure.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
I mean, when I go to bed at night, I
think to myself, did I do enough to help people today?
Did I shop for the people that I love? Did
I love the people that are in my life today?
Did I reach out to so and so? And then
I'm okay, but I don't. My measure is not things
of this world anymore. It's not a bag or I mean,
(28:16):
i love pretty things.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I do. Who doesn't.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
And I like to look nice. It's not that I
don't like to, you know, look pretty, but it's not
how I weigh my self esteem. And so I think that,
you know, the focus being on God and faith, nobody
can take that from me. And so going back to
when pre cancer, my friends would say to me, I
(28:43):
really would like you to do this Bible study with me,
and I'd say, no.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I've got a yoga class. I go to yoga every Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
And I think back at those times, and I was coveting,
obviously things of this world, and I missed it. I
missed the importance of that. And so when they were
helping me through my journey, they really taught me one
what it looked like to show up for somebody and
why that matters. And they would say to me, when
you're done with when we're done with serving you, you're
(29:09):
going to go out and serve the world. And God
would never forsake you, and we will never forsake you.
And that really, you know, giving up their time and
their resources for their own families, it didn't matter to
them because I was their Bible study at the time.
And so for fifteen months. I learned that from them,
and that was a pivotal moment in my life and
(29:31):
my journey, and I realized that the tenants of faith
were more important than what society feeds us often, which is,
you know, the billboards are they're seducing.
Speaker 4 (29:42):
Right selection everywhere.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
It's very glamorous. And yes, they roped me in and
I was stuck.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
But I'd rather talk about God than anything else. I'd
rather listen to spiritual podcasts and spiritual music because it
keeps me on the right path, right, and that that's
what I feed my soul.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
I love that you remind too, that that is something
that can't be taken away. All the physical can be
stripped away, which you experienced, but that is something that
is at the core, special and truly yours in all
of it. What would you say to someone and I'm
sure you've gotten to ask this quite a bit, or
(30:26):
you know, or someone coming up who's been recently diagnosed,
what's your advice to someone that's been recently diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I don't get asked that a lot.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I actually get asked, what would you say to somebody
who is recently diagnosed? And what I say to people
is say, because people don't know what to say, right,
And I always say, just tell them. You don't know
what to say, but you want to be there to
help them. So, you know, people I mentor breast cancer patients,
whether it's online or in person, and I try to
(30:57):
say to them in a non threatening way, this is
how I focus my life, which is faith. Because some
people don't focus on that, and that's fine. I'm not
trying to push that on anybody. I can only share
with how I got through something. But I also talk about,
you know, giving yourself a lot of grace because we
mess up in you know, our journeys, we get angry.
(31:19):
Fear translates into anger, and so when I was very
afraid during the beginning of my journey, I got very angry,
angry at life and angry at myself. And so I
talk about grace a lot, and I talk about, you know,
obviously faith, and I talk about finding the right people
that will always stay with you in the seasons of
(31:39):
goodness and the seasons of difficulty. But keep those people
around because you're going to need them. And I also
tell them talk about ego. You've got to let go
of your pride and your ego, because so often we're
taught in this world that we can do it on
our own, and independence is revered in this world. I
think that's pride. I think that's ego. When I was
(32:02):
downed to nothing and literally couldn't take a sip of water,
that's when I was almost at my best because that's
when people were able to show up for me. That's
when people were able to help me. And that's what
we're supposed to do. And so if we let go
of our pride and ego and say, Okay, I'm going
to accept your help even though I'm prior to cancer,
(32:23):
I'd be like, oh no, I'm good, I can do it.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
I've got this, I've got this.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
We don't really right, And so I talk about that
a lot. Let people help you, let people serve, because
that's a gift that.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
They want to give. Don't take that from them.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Absolutely absolutely on that note, and you mentioned your father
and his reaction to the film and your son's reaction
to the film. What has been a positive side to
your journey with breast cancer with your family? Obviously there
was so much pain and suffering and a lot of hardship,
(32:59):
but then you know, there's also things that make you smile,
and there was a lot of growth and some positive outcomes.
So I'm curious about that.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Well.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
I think it's how we react ultimately to pain and trauma.
And I think my kids seeing me try to help
other people is a good lesson for them because I
think that they saw me, you know, being very self
indulgent for a very long time. Again, I talk about
the unflattering parts because they don't ever want to say
about my story.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
Oh, I had all these people show up for me.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
I had all these people bring me gifts, and they
were there for me every day, and my life was
so great.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
There was some lacking at home, right.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
That's it's not fair to anybody because they're going to
compare themselves to maybe their journey to be like, well, shoot,
like she's just this privileged girl, right, Okay, maybe, but
there's parts that were difficult at home, and so I
try to just be very vulnerable and honest about the
story so it's relatable to people. But there's been a
(33:58):
lot of healing with my own sons. Again, they're boys,
and so it's not easy to emote how they feel,
especially at eleven and thirteen and again, fear translates into anger,
and so they were afraid I was going to die.
So what would they do? They pushed me away. They
would spend no time with me.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
And that's fair especially at those ages too, right, or
it's delicate ages. Through that, you mentioned the word privilege,
which I'm curious about how you would describe privilege now
versus how you would have described privilege, say ten years ago,
before all of this started.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
What a great question.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I think the greatest privileges in my life are to
show up for people, are to love people, are to
serve people. I think it's one of the greatest privileges
I will ever do is to do a project like
this with my intention to help. I think privilege. My
definition of privilege before this was I had the privilege
(34:57):
of money and things and acts SaaS those things that
look different now, Yeah, great question.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
It takes one thing to be cancer, which you've so
courageously done. It takes another level of courage to share
your story in such a vulnerable way, which shows in
your book Walk Beside Me and then now also with
your film premiere, Hello Beautiful. Why do you think it's
important to share our personal stories?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Well, I took it as a call to action from
my friends who said when they showed up for me
for months, month after month after month, that that was
kind of my next step.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
And I I.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Really took that as something that was necessary, especially since
what I.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
Was seeing.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
In the world that I was young and diagnosed with
cancer and I didn't see I didn't have any contemporaries
with it. So I thought I could be a light
to that demographic of people, that kind of younger group.
But I also thought of the time, because I had
become so ingrained and kind of focused on my faith,
that it was kind of my mission.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
And so to.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Be vulnerable your story is want. It takes courage, You're right,
But to hoard your story, I think it doesn't help anybody,
And so it was a choice.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
It is always a choice for people.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
And obviously I'm not telling people that they showed or shouldn't.
But if you add up the amount of people that
I have helped, if I had hoarded my story, I
could have never helped those people.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
I think that would have been a waste of pain.
Speaker 4 (36:44):
Yes, let's talk about that further too, that you've turned
pain into purpose, and if you had someone you know
really going through it. And I'm sure you have people
talk to you at different stages of a cancer journey
or a medical What takeaways would you give to someone
of how to turn pain into purpose.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Well, Being vulnerable, I think is the biggest way to
serve in pain because so often, like let's take social
media or you know, podcasts, often people tell the flowery
version of their story. They tell the moments that they
won the award or they got the whatever. And I
(37:30):
just think that's unfair to the world because in all
the highlight reels that we see on social media, I
think the hurting people. And so if you have a
diagnosis or if you're going through pain or season of illness,
I think that can be such a serving moment and
you can touch lives. It's relatable and it's happening. It's
(37:53):
not like people don't go through illness in different seasons
of their life, in difficult, difficult seasons.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It doesn't have to be illness divorce.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You know, if you're not, if nobody's out there talking
about it, then people feel very alone.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Loneliness is tough. Nobody wants to feel alone.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
So I think by sharing in a vulnerable way in
an honest way. It helps people not feel alone. It
also helps people feel like they're kind of normal versus
just looking on social media and seeing everybody going on
these amazing trips and go, gosh, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4 (38:24):
I'm not feel bad right right?
Speaker 2 (38:26):
If I feel bad?
Speaker 1 (38:27):
Yeah, And I don't believe in comparison, right, but I
think a lot of people do it.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Oh, I think we live in a culture of comparative suffering.
Someone you exactly that term with me. You mentioned trips.
So let's talk about travel a little bit. Uh. Travel
has obviously been really important to you. You've taken your
family to many wonderful places. How has travel been a
(38:51):
healer for you or has it?
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Oh? No, it definitely has.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
In fact, well, in the last three years we've I've
done some pretty significant travel with my significant other, and
I think it's been very healing for me. First of all,
you get out of your own space, you get you're
out of your own head, and you see different cultures
and you see different you know, for us, we just
got back from Antarctica in January, and just being around
(39:17):
nature for an extended period of time, you know, I
think was just a really healing way for myself to
just kind of get away from the difficulty of trying
to get this movie out there and kind of the
stress of it. And you know, I live in chronic pain.
I have pain in my arm, and I still have
(39:38):
pain in my chest. And you know, when you're out
traveling and you're doing adventures and you're getting out of
your own head, that helps with getting away from that
kind of pain as well.
Speaker 4 (39:48):
Is there or are there specific destinations that you like
to go back to year after year, or do you
like to go to new places?
Speaker 1 (39:58):
I think both. I think I liked to feel very
grounded and rooted. I think especially because I've had a
lot of illness in my life. You know, being kind
of having a home base really matters to me. But
when I travel, I like to see, I like to learn,
so I like to do kind of historical stuff and
learn from different places around the world.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
There's so many places to go.
Speaker 4 (40:22):
Do you have a trip upcoming trip plans that you're
looking forward to.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I'd like to go to Asia.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
It has been on my list for a very long time,
so we're talking about it.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Yeah, that's on my list too. By the way, I
haven't been to Asia yet either. And I hear it.
It's incredible.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Excellent, Okay, rapid fire. How do you sharpen your knife?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Oh? God? Bible reading?
Speaker 4 (40:49):
And what is a daily ritual you protect at all costs?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
I pray at twelve thirty.
Speaker 4 (40:55):
One place in the world that has changed how you
see everything?
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Maybe Antarctica?
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Hm? And how so, how did it change your perspective?
Speaker 2 (41:11):
It?
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Well, it broadened my perspective, but it also it made
me feel like.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
Simple is better. It made me really yearn for.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
A simpler life being in Antarctica. Yeah, I really shifted there.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
That's awesome. What are you hoping your children or loved
ones say about you someday that.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
My mom served Hm?
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Failure, you're secretly grateful for failed?
Speaker 2 (41:43):
Honey? What have I failed? That? I was glad about.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
I don't think she fails it much. That's all that's hard. Oh?
Are you a greet as chef? So we were joined
by Tom Turklet, Christine's partner. Tom. Welcome. We're happy to
have you here today. Thank you.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
It's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
Christine. Tell us how you met? We met on zoom
actually the first time we ever met.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
We were set up and Tom lives in Boston, and
at the time I was in Miami, and we zoomed
for about six times, and I really say, I tell
him now all the time I fell in love with him.
On our third zoom, wore he somehow knew I love
the color yellow, and he wore a yellow shirt and
(42:34):
my heart just melted and I thought, this is my guy.
And then he flew down to Miami and we went
on kind of a weekend of days. And I'll let
him tell his side of that story.
Speaker 5 (42:48):
My side of the story, huh. It was interesting because
when you are age dating with the technology didn't exist
when we grew up, and so especially when you're in
different cities. You know, when you're in high school or college,
you date and what goes well, you want to go
see somebody the next weekend. It's a lot harder to do.
When he had a fly a thousand miles and so
(43:10):
I actually own a bunch of property in Florida and
I could fine a business trip. And we set one
date on a Friday, and we said, look, if it
works well, we can have a contingency date on a Saturday.
And that was it. And it just sucks and I
go to work on Monday, and it turned out that
we had a really good time the Monday night or
Friday night, and then we went again to Saturday night
and then actually Sunday night, and then she actually came
(43:32):
with me on a couple of my property tours on
Monday and Tuesday, and so it worked out well. And
she did say something that was very important too, which
was we did get to know each other on Zoom
and the technology is good and that you it takes
a little pressure off, you know, when you do it
on zoom and you went I think Wisconsin, right at
(43:54):
your parents' house. We met and I was primarily I
think at home in Boston, but we got to know
each other well, so it was not as as distracting
is distracting a meeting for the first time, because we
actually knew each other a little.
Speaker 4 (44:10):
Bit right before we met.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
You well, if you think about it, six zooms is
six hours and you don't have a waiter that's you know,
come over to disrupt the conversation or to interject, and
so we really when you're sitting in front of a
screen for six hours with somebody, you really get to
know them, and it's it becomes very lovely.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
It was lovely for.
Speaker 4 (44:31):
Me and the yellow shirt.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
But I'm also curious about in those zooms, I would
imagine Tom that Christine was forthcoming at some point about
her her medical journey. And I'm curious. And now you've
been together for how long before I asked this question?
Three years? I think so, so three years? What have
you found now that you're watching Christine tell her story
to a wider audience most inspiring about her?
Speaker 5 (45:03):
It's actually pretty simple and very privileged to get to
know it as well. You know, life could be difficult,
just to state the obvious. We all go through our
own pains and travails of different types, and how you
deal with those difficulties really defines you and finds your character.
And we all know people like that. And you know,
(45:24):
she went through pure hell multiple times and instead of
you know, ruining in misery or complaining or saying why,
she used it for good. And that's not easy to do.
It takes a lot to overcome that kind of adversity,
and in Christine's case, multiple times. But I really am
proud of her and proud of the way that she
(45:46):
uses it and is a message of hope for other people.
And that's really important because you know, there are a
lot of people, as you're all well aware, there are
a lot of pains out there right now. A lot
of incidences and increase incidence is of mental health and loneliness,
those kinds of things, and we all need help and
it's very hard to do it. You know, we joked
(46:07):
earlier about about how you know, I'm a very private person,
and you know I grew up at a time when
you didn't share things like that. You dealt with it yourself,
and so give a lot of credit to go through.
I've gone through things in my life as well, not
as severe as she's gone through, but how you handle
liberally defines you. And that really defines her to me
(46:27):
in terms of how well she's handled it, overcome it,
dealt with it, and also used it as a tool
to help other people.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
Well. I hear you are both Christine. We know that
you love to travel. Tom. I hear you've been in
ninety two countries, Is that right?
Speaker 5 (46:42):
That's correct?
Speaker 4 (46:43):
Where have you been that's been some of your most
favorite destinations? And where are you looking forward to going?
Speaker 5 (46:51):
I travel a lot for business but also personal and
my favorite place, probably the place to which I've been
the most is Paris. Go to Europe a lot. I've
really traveled all over the world. Antarctica was on my
bucket list as a place to go, and Chris Jane's right,
it really is nothing like anything you can imagine. And
(47:17):
my next large trip bucket list trip is a safari
in Africa and we're planning on that for a couple
summers from now. We have a good friend who spent
a lot of our career in Japan, and that's probably
our next trip we're planning right now is to go
to Japan and she'll be our guide for a couple
of weeks. Oh fine, to take us to off the
(47:38):
beaten path places, and I think that's what we have
planned right now. We're probably going to go to Europe
one more time this summer, but we haven't planned where yet.
Speaker 4 (47:47):
Those sound like amazing trips. When you go on safari,
will you take your two sons and do you have
children as well?
Speaker 2 (47:53):
In your trap?
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (47:54):
Wow, well that the children go with you?
Speaker 5 (47:56):
Do you think that's the intent is Depending upon schedules,
it's hard to core everything, but they're all going to
be invited nice.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
One last question for you, Tom, what is one thing
that listeners would be surprised to know about Christine.
Speaker 5 (48:14):
To surprise them, I think it would be, as Christine
mentioned and has a lot to do with this story,
she has a good fortune of coming from privilege, and
that has a lot of different manifestations, from good schools,
to safe streets to things like that, and to having
people take care of you, and that really hasn't affected
(48:40):
her in terms of her thinking. I grew up with
a lot of people that way we all have who've
had privilege, who take it for granted and who assume
it as part of their life, and also I think
makes them more fragile to deal with difficulties. And I
used to joke with Christine about, you know, the lottery
(49:03):
from which she came, which is not a fault, not
a good or bad thing. She's very fortunate, but to
not have it matter, it's probably the most important thing
that What matters to her as her faith, her relationships,
how she takes care of her kids, and as you
can tell from most of this interview, how much she
cares about the people around her who've helped her, and
(49:24):
too care.
Speaker 4 (49:26):
Well said beautiful. Thank you so much for being here,
as a pleasure to speak with both of you. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 5 (49:32):
Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 3 (49:42):
Stories like this are a window into what makes the
Exclusive Resorts community unlike any other, filled with members who
live with intention and travel without compromise. With more than
four hundred private residences and curated experiences around the world,
the club continues to redefine the arts of Meanwhile, learn
more at Exclusive Resorts dot com.
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