October 15, 2024 • 37 mins
In this special episode of Across Generations, it’s just you, me, and the mic as I dive into the questions you’ve sent in! I’ve received some great questions from our listeners, and today I’m excited to give you honest, unfiltered answers.
We’ll cover everything from my book recommendations, to personal reflections on my journey, to the generational topics you all want to hear more about. I’m here to connect with you in a more personal way. So grab your headphones and join me for this one-on-one conversation—I can’t wait to share my thoughts with you!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of black women unite.
I'm your host, Tiffany Cross. Tiffany Cross. Tiffany, we gather
a season elder myself as the middle generation and a
vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. Prepared to engage
or hear perspections that no one else is having. You
(00:26):
know how we do? We create, magic, Create Maggie. Hi, everybody,
welcome to another episode of Across Generations. I'm your host,
Tiffany Cross, and for today's episode, it is literally just
you and me, guys. This is basically our Across gen
podcast group chat. I am answering all of your questions.
(00:47):
Over the course of the last season, you guys dropped
a lot of comments, questions, feedback, and so I'm going
through some of them today and talking with you guys
about it. So that reminds me I should tell you
if you have thoughts, comments, question and you want me
to answer, please be sure to leave a comment, drop
a question, whatever it is. We have. I look at
the comments, I check DMS, and we have a whole
(01:09):
team of producers, executive producers and everybody who looks at everything.
You say, so, be sure to drop a note if
you have something you want me to respond to or notice.
And yeah, so I want to give you heads up though,
like every group chat, I don't know about yours, but
mine could be all over the place. So when I'm
going through some of these, I might be all over
(01:29):
the place because I'm not answering them in any specific order.
So thank you guys for tuning in and having so
much curiosity and thoughts and feedback. Okay, let's get to
our group chat at across Gin Podcast group Chat. This
is Melanie Garland. I think it's oh, Melanie Ragland. Sorry
(01:51):
if I'm mispronouncing anybody's same Melanie Raglan thirty one oh eight.
You say, great show as always. I have been married
my whole adult life, and you still have to learn
how to love yourself and be good by yourself. I
find sometimes that single women will talk to me like
my life is easier. I finally told one friend that
married life is not better than single life, It's just different.
(02:13):
There are many things that I admire about single lifestyles.
Both lifestyles have peaks and valleys. I love that. So
she probably, I guess, maybe did this on our episode
about marriage, and I love that comment, and I think
that is really true. A lot of my friends have
said a lot of single people, particularly younger people, can
assume that married life is like one long first date,
(02:36):
and that's not the case. And I really love that
she's saying, it's just different. You know, for the people
who treat marriage like it's a sorority, they want to pledge.
It can be a lot of work. So you imagine
your absolute favorite person who you're saying every day, you
see them in and out the shower every day, and
they get on your nerves. You eat, and you hear
them chewing. Sometimes they're breathing loud, they snore. It's just
(02:57):
somebody else farting in the couch. You know, I just
might get on your nerves. I think it's a good
reminder for us to not romanticize what marriage and relationships
it are and to focus on like a deeper, meaningful connection.
So thank you for that, Melanie. I certainly echo those thoughts.
Florence J. Tempton fifteen sixty nine, She says, I had
(03:19):
a similar experience Tiffany with a high school classmate. Oh okay,
so let me tell you as I'm reading her question.
This is definitely on the episode that we did on
interracial Friendships. You all had a lot of thoughts about
that episode. So Florence says, I had a similar experience
Tiphany with a high school classmate. We would joke around
and flirt, and so one day he said to me,
(03:41):
I date you if you were white. Now, I wasn't
attracted to him that part. I thought we were just
being playful, but I never spoke to him again after that. Yeah,
so this is a very common thing. I remember when
I was in the seventh grade and this guy, Kenny,
I won't say his last name, I remember his last name,
but it was East Cob Middle School, and this guy
(04:05):
kn't He said to me, you know, Tiffany, you're so
pretty for a black girl. And that wasn't the first
time I heard it. It wasn't the last time I
heard it. And the offense in that statement because it's
not always our physical attribution, which in itself is offensive
given our very specific history in this country with white
(04:29):
men lusting after black women in our bodies. But sometimes
it's you're smart for a black girl, or you're so
well spoken for a black girl, or you conduct yourself
differently from other black people, and I just want to
say I and they, and they are me. Okay, we
are one unit. And so this whole attitude of like,
(04:52):
I don't like them, but you're the special one. I
think sometimes that can make it difficult to have genuine
friendships with people across, you know, certain racial and ethnic lines.
But if you have somehow found that magic formula, great,
you know, because on the flip side of that, and
I think maybe this didn't come across in the episode,
(05:15):
I think having some curiosity about our fellow countrymen is
always a good thing. You know. For example, a lot
of people may not know that the Asian American Pacific
Islander community is the fastest growing demographic in this country,
and so having relationships with people in this community with
the understanding that there are anti black sentiment and people
(05:36):
who feel and hold anti black sentiments in every community.
I always approach it with that understanding. But having honest
conversations with people in different communities has really been helpful
to me in broadening my perspective. I think when it
comes to white people, that's such a perspective that was
you know, we know so well, you know, we have
no choice but to know that perspective and understand that
(05:59):
community becaus For so long, that's been the master narrator.
But as the racial demographics of the country change, there
will be no racial majority post twenty forty four. And
so you know, understanding the Latino community better, who for
the first time have eclipsed Black voters when it comes
to eligible voters, not registered voters, but eligible voters, and
understanding how you can disaggregate these communities. You know, they
(06:20):
all have different countries of origin and just fall under
the umbrella of Api or Latino, the indigenous community, who
by all means have certainly suffered in this country at
the hands of white supremacy. So yeah, and the Muslim
community as we see these conversations expand around Gaza. So
I definitely encourage people to broaden our friendship circles and horizons.
(06:46):
But I also know that safe spaces for us are
often few and far between, So I just value those
spaces for myself. But thank you Florence for sharing that
because I can certainly relate to that. Okay, Ted Tedwards
T Edwards, I don't know T Edwards nine four sixty one.
He says, I am a fifty nine year old black
guy from southern Virginia, and I thought I had a
(07:07):
lot of white friends, and so one day my best
black friends explained to me that I did not, and
I have to agree with her. She explained that since
I don't speak with them about my negative racial history
and experiences, they can't be considered my friends. I have
spoken with her for countless hours about the racism experience
by my black friends in Virginia, and she knew I
(07:29):
didn't talk about those things with white people I think
of as friends. She also asked me to count the
number of white friends I would go camping or hunting with.
That sealed it for me. Okay, again, I completely understand that,
but you know, I would also say friendship is how
you define it. I think sometimes we're very loose with
(07:50):
those words when I say friend. If I'm calling somebody
my friend, like this is my girl, or this is
my you know, my man fifty grand like we are
ride or died Sintos down, this is my people. And
so maybe you have associates who are outside of your
racial or ethnic demographic, maybe they're not friends. And that's
what it sounds like with mister t Edwards. Okay. This
(08:13):
next one is at Toya forty to seventy. Oh, this
is okay. This is on our motherhood episode. A lot
of you guys had are mama trauma. I should say
a lot of you guys had a lot of thoughts
about that. She says, this is a powerful conversation, and
I'm in tears. I was mentally and physically abused by
my mother. We had a turbulent relationship, but I truly
(08:36):
loved her. She was depressed, angry, and drank alcohol every day.
She never hugged me nor said she loved me. She
often told me that birthing me at fifteen ruined her life,
while she died from a heart attack at fifty two.
I'm now fifty three, after intense therapy and the love
of Jesus I forgave my mother. She did the best
she could. At least she tried, unlike my father who
(08:58):
walked away. Thank you to me for bringing women together
to heal through sharing our truth. I've been watching you
since your shows across Connection. Peace and blessings, Well, Peace
and blessings to you. Joya. First, I want to say
I'm sorry that happened to you. I cannot imagine having
that relationship. And I, you know, I found that conversation
(09:20):
for me. You guys are car Our executive producer, Carla
stepped in for that episode, and you know, and we
had the elder woman's blinis on with us. For me personally,
that episode was very healing, you know, hearing myself for
count things that I had gone through. My mom and
I we talked every day. We have a close relationship,
(09:43):
and I can meet my mother with the grace that
she deserves, but also not abandoned that little me that
was so traumatized by our upbringing. So to all of
you out there who are still managing and navigating tumultuous, difficult,
challenging relationships with the parent, but specifically black women, uh
and our mothers, I wish you well on that journey
(10:06):
because it is indeed a journey. And I don't know,
just something in me cracked open, uh in talking about that,
and I just I just love my mother dearly, and
I'm just you know, grateful. I don't romanticize having another life.
I don't think Oh, if I were raised by Claire Huxtable,
I might. You know, however my life turned out, it
made me a very hard working, ambitious, dedicated person. You
(10:31):
can drop me off in the middle of the jungle
and I'm gonna come out rock and chinchilla and eating
and drinking out of a coconut. So I'm grateful for
the childhood I had. It made me hungry, and I
know I went to school with a lot of people
who were, you know, compared to me, very privileged. I
work with a lot of people who were raised very
differently than me, and yeah, there is a difference, like you,
(10:54):
you can tell, and God bless everybody on their path.
But I'm grateful for my So for all of you
navigating mama trauma, I wish you a brighter tomorrow because
it only comes, in my opinion, only comes when you
do the work, and you can't always depend on your
mom to do the work. For me, I had to
(11:16):
do the work on my own and I'm still doing
a lot of that work to be honest. Okay, this
is from Rosie B nine. I had to pull my
car over after listening to only half the podcast. The
emotions were so raw for me. My mother has been
gone for sixteen years, but the scars she left are
(11:37):
still open. The lady on the right. That was Carla,
our executive producer. The lady on the right seems to
share some of the same traumas and reactions as I
did and still do in therapy now, So I am
on a journey to healing. But that is a long
rickety road. Indeed, it is, Rosie, and thank you for
(11:58):
sharing that testimony, and I wish you well, and therapy
is definitely a helpful part of that process and it
definitely helped me in my process, So thank you for sharing.
At LW five five nine two, oh okay, So, just
reading the first sentence, I want to tell you guys
(12:19):
that this is a question about the show that we
did on domestic violence, and that show it was so
I don't have any personal history with domestic violence, so
I just so connected with both of the women who
joined us just on the strength of their own testimonies.
They were so amazing. Are younger, she has her own podcast.
(12:45):
I just she was so compelling to me and our
elder like I just wanted to hold their hands the
entire episode. So I'm happy that so many of you
tuned in and talked about that. Okay, So l W
five five nine, she says, I was eighteen, he was
twenty two, and after the first time he beat me up,
(13:06):
he locked me in the apartment, bars on the window
and a dead lock on the door that required a
key inside and outside to open, and he took both
sets of keys when he walked out the apartment. Months later,
it occurred to me that had there been a fire,
I would have been trapped. That was over fifty years ago.
(13:27):
Couldn't finish watching this video because it was too triggering,
But so glad we're talking about this. Keep talking, keep
talking until this stops. Wow. I mean this is true
to the thesis of the show that over fifty years
ago that she was dealing with abuse. This was imprisonment
(13:48):
for her, quite frankly, and so that this abuse has
impacted so many people across generations is precisely the reason
why we wanted to talk about it. So thank you
LW five five nine two for that comment. And I
think on the same show we have another comment from
I'm messing up these names, but it looks like Nakeisha
(14:08):
Fuller Nikisha Fuller to ninety and she says thanks for
this video. I tuned in because I lost a college
friend this week from domestic violence. And wanted to understand
how could this have happened, what she probably endured, and
her possible mental state to stay. I had no clue,
and even her closest friends that she seen in recent
(14:32):
weeks were clueless that she was suffering from domestic violence.
She's been with her husband since high school, and all
I can think about is has she been enduring abuse
for decades with him? I'm so hurt because she was
a beautiful soul and left behind two young adults that
she poured her all into. Prayers to my beautiful friend,
Tiffany Stokes, I love usiss. Wow, what an awful story,
(14:59):
but I'm all so grateful that she shared it because
the truth is, you never know when that next time
will be the last time when someone will take your life.
So again, because these are the questions we're talking about,
I just want to say, if you are someone who
is being abused and you are frightened, please pull the
National Domestic Violence Hotline get help. There are all types
(15:22):
of triggers they have on the computer where they can't
search your search history. Just leave, leave, prioritize your life
and leave. So And I don't know this friend that
she's talking about but definitely so sorry to hear that
Tiffany Soakes passed away. And I hope that even this
testimony is testimony for someone out there to leave today
(15:46):
right now. Okay, this is from at just D eighty seven,
and he says, I seriously wish you would join. I
seriously wish you would join the VP Harris campaign and
assist her in getting the right messages out to the country.
(16:08):
My question, why is it so hard this net I
told you guys, he's like around. Why is it so
hard for the media to be totally unbiased and just
report the facts when it comes to Trump? Okay, that's
a two parter. First, let me say I whenever this
show airs, it will hopefully be after election day when
(16:29):
we can start calling her President elects Kamala Harris. I
think if you are even remotely familiar with me, you
know my politics, and I'm an enthusiastic voter for President
elect Kamala Harris. I am not well suited to join
an administration. If you watch my show that I had
on MSNBC, The Cross Connection, I am not filtered and
(16:52):
I do not exist for the comfort of white folks.
And so in politics there is a lot of I
think posturing and and you know, strategicy, I'll say as it.
When it comes to navigating communication, I think I'm much
more effective outside those confines of the Beltway when I
can encourage and even cajole at times for policy to
(17:19):
move in favor of black folks. But I enjoy living
in service to my community, and I never want to
do anything that is harmful to the community. And I
just think the most impactful way to do that is unconfined,
which is what I'm doing. Your other question about the media, Yes,
I think, you know, this is why we see the
media become so decentralized now, and streaming has disrupted this
(17:43):
landscape because for so long the media is playing in
our face, you know, even with you know, the quote
unquote assassion nation attempts on president the former president Trump
forty five and then you know, you hear people say, oh,
we got to, you know, tone down the rhetoric. Well,
(18:05):
you know, for years we have heard hateful rhetoric when
it comes to black folks. And it should be noted
that anytime there has been an attempt, it has been
a Trump supporter. It was not from the left. But
I think the bigger point about that is these are
commons that are from people who are unhinged. It doesn't
to me their politics don't even matter. They're just unhealthy,
(18:25):
mentally unwell people. And so I think the media is
quickly quickly making themselves less relevant, which is concerning to
me as a journalist. I've been a journalist for twenty
four years now, and I think it is malpractice what
(18:46):
we're seeing happen. And most of our newsrooms are still
run by people who don't necessarily have our lived experience.
So until that changes, I'm afraid that's what it is.
But I hope you will continue to tune into across
generations when you do want to break from politics. And
obviously I have another podcast that's political when you want
(19:08):
to hear political conversations that is not so filtered. You
can google me to see why. I might not have
great things to say about the media landscape, but I
still appreciate the question. Just D eighty seven. Okay, this
next one is ap Somas. It's Apie underscore to Mastere. Okay,
(19:30):
your messages. I lost mommy when I was seventeen years old.
I am forty now, and up until last year, I
couldn't talk about her without crying my eyes out. Some years,
I would be okay and then something major, good or
bad would happen in my life and I will get
incredibly sad because I felt like she was missing it.
(19:50):
But I tell you something, there's something about grief if
you give time time, I promise it. Subsides. I'll never
get over the grief of growing up without her, but
I have learned how to cope, and I can honestly
say I'm finally okay without her. If you are experiencing
grief currently, I pray for your peace, understanding and patience. No,
(20:10):
it will be okay one day. Rip Miranda Suerise, Oh wow,
so we did a show on grief. I assume this
is what this comment was responding to. And yeah, I
have to tell you, I'm blessed to still have my
mother with me. My father passed away in ninety maybe
(20:31):
ninety one. Grief is, I think, one of those emotions
or experiences. There is no cure, there is no there's
no fast track to mental health. You know. It is
(20:53):
just something you have to feel. And I am terrified,
absolutely terrified when I have to feel that for my mother.
I mean as part of the grace I have for her,
as tumultus is our relationship has been at times I
cannot imagine living on this earth without her. Even the
thought of it brings a lump in my throat. I
just it does not compute in my mind. And yet
(21:16):
and yet, this is a cycle of life, and so
I know at one point that will be my reality.
So I because it's so unimaginable to me, I won't
even disrespect the people who are experiencing it right now
with offering any thoughts other than I see you. I
understand from the little bit of grief that I've experienced,
(21:39):
and I appreciate this note about it takes time that
in time, I don't know that it's a wound that heals.
I think you know from my understanding of going through
it myself in different ways and people who have gone
through it, is it's just a pain that you become
accustomed to, which is a sad, sad way to think
(22:02):
about the future that we'll all have to endure that.
But I know people who endure it and they go
on to live their lives. Maybe in a different way.
You learn to feel your lost loved ones in a
different way. So my prayers to you, I'm maybe Tomas,
and I'm really happy and grateful to you that you
shared that testimony. And to your beloved mother, Miranda Charisse
(22:26):
Rip she has gone on to join the ancestors, and
I am thinking of you as I pray and hope
that she is in the arms of the Ancestors and
whatever God you may worship. Okay, we have another question
from Raheem. Massy must say Raheem Massy must say, Raheem
(22:48):
wants to know who are you dating? Why are you asking, Raheem?
Did somebody tell you they were dating me? Them? Me?
Who said that? And I tell you if it's true
or not. That's probably all I got to say on
that one. I I'm don't so I will always be
open with you guys, but I probably will not be
dropping names on this podcast about dating. But I do
(23:09):
appreciate the question. If you did read somewhere about something
or somebody told you they were dating me, I want
to know who. And y'all start a rumor about me
dating somebody hot somebody, fine, so then I could get
with that person, say you know, they keep saying we
dating and we still figure out how we want to
handle this thing. I'll think about who that person could be. Y'all.
Let me know who would y'all like to see me date?
That's what I want to know. Okay? Oh this is
(23:32):
from It's Soul one. It's so one. They want to
know my top five albums. I like that question. Top
five albums? Okay, I don't know if I if these
are in any order, but off the top of my head,
Purple Rain, that's the album I listen to I don't skip,
and then, of course you know it's Prince Carlo want
(23:52):
me to embarrass myself and sing my favorite song off
Purple Rain? What is okay? Uh? Why am I letting
her let me embarrass myself? Maybe I'm just like my mother.
She's never said it by why do we scream at
(24:12):
each other? This is what it sounds like when does
Ki don't don't? Okay, I'm not embarrassing myself anymore. Anywhoo,
that's one of my favorite song. Obviously, Purple Rain is
my favorite song, but When Does Cry as a close second.
So Purple Rain definitely one of my favorite albums. What's
the four one one? A lot of y'all marry lovers
(24:34):
like my life. But what's the four one one for me?
I do not skip when I remember getting that CD.
This back when people went to the store got CDs.
I remember buying albums, but people went and got CDs
and I would just let it play like I love.
Real Love was like so revolutionary to me. So I
love that whole out. I know every word to every
(24:56):
song on that album. So yes, Real Love, Mary J
another one. I don't say anything Adele. Like all of
Adele's albums, but her last album, the One was easy
on me. She always named them her aide so I
think this may have been thirty, but anyway, that album,
it was just this was the album that she did
(25:18):
after she got divorced and was raising her son. I
gotta say, I ain't divorced. I don't have no son,
but she made me feel like I was a single
mom sitting at home after going through a divorce. What
end it about Adele? Why do her melodies just make
us just feel everything? And you know another thing it's
interested about Adele. Ain't nobody mad about her? And who
(25:42):
is it? Rich Rich Paul? That's what she said, ain't
nobody mad about Adele? And Rich Paul like sometimes we
mad about so that one. I'm like, you know what,
I just want Adele to be happy. She's given us
so many ballots like I want Adele to be happy.
We want Mary to be happy too, and I'm happy.
I'm sorry that Mary went through so many things, but
from her, she gave us some beautiful music. So okay,
(26:03):
I said, Adele, I'm getting sidetracked, Adele Purple Rain, what's
the four to one one? I got two more? Carla
is off camera, y'all trying to tell me to sing
my favorite song off each of these. Let me think,
let me think. Okay, this is not my favorite, this
is not my favorite album, but I will tell y'all
this is my one of my favorite songs. Is when
(26:24):
I was first introduced to Tupac. Y'all, y'all, some of
y'all may be too young to know. Tupac used to
be with Digital Underground, and so we all knew SHOTG
like we all knew them. But then this song, same
song came out and I was like, who is this
rapping on this song? And it was Tupac's verse and
(26:45):
I was hooked from then, if we gonna have a
biggie Tupac debate. I gotta say I was a Tupac girl,
like I love Biggie. Don't get me wrong, Biggie had
like I had to like. It was no Google back then.
I had to like look in the dictionary as some
of the words he was used, and he was a lyricist.
But that Tupi verse, So I'll give you all this verse. Okay,
(27:05):
does this sing on? Okay? This was Tupac's verse his
first time he was rapping on the song Digital Underground,
same song. I used to clown around when I hang
around with the underground girls, used to clown say I'm
down when I come around, gas me when they passed me.
They used to diss me, harass me. Now they asked
me if they can kiss me, get some fame. People
change one of the life high, same song. Can't go wrong.
(27:26):
If I played a nice guy claim the fame mustachange.
Now that I became strong, I remained still the same
hy too, cause it's the same song. I was so
into it. Carlo got me embarrassing myself, dropping my flow,
dropping my Tupac flow. But it was a short little verse,
and I was like, damn, this dude is dope and
I liked them, and anyway, I was into him ever since.
So that's one of my favorites. It's all of his stuff.
(27:50):
I was into all of his stuff, Biggie for sure,
but I don't know that I would put that in
like my top top albums. T I like, he's a dude.
But then you know, I got these show the ladies
and loves when I was young. The first album I
ever bought was Hot Cool Vicious. And this was literally
an album hot cool visus. Who know who's saying this
(28:10):
song hot cool vishes. I'm waiting a minute before I
tell y'all because I want you all to drop in
the common don't cheat in Google dropping the comments to
y'all think it is Hot Cool Vicious. It was three
women on the album cover and one was in like
it was like a shaded red, and then one was
like purple, and then one was like blue DoD y'all
give up. I'm gonna just tell you Salt and Peppa.
It was Salt and Pepa, Hot Cool Vicious. That was
(28:31):
one of my favorite songs. Tramp what you call me? Then? Anyway,
that was one of my favorites. So yes, those are
my album. I don't think I gave you five, but
you got an idea of who who Some of my
faves are favorite author I like this question, so you
know I read a lot you guys, so I don't
(28:52):
know that I can narrow it down to my favorite author,
but I will tell you some of my favorite books.
Gana Must Go. It was one of my absolute favorite books.
It was an amazing book. And I'm so awful because
I can't remember the author. The other one, Oh, okay,
this is a book that I am so okay. There
are two books that I give away as presents. One
(29:13):
I've been given away since for twenty years now, and
this is It's okay. It's a book called the poison
Wood Bible. Poison Wood is one word, the poison Wood Bible,
and it is by Barbara Kingsolver and she is a
white woman and she let me tell you the premise
of the story. It is a white Southern Christian family
(29:36):
who travels to the Congo during the reign of La Mumba.
And this white Southern Christian family is there to show
the local savages in quotes, how to properly worship Jesus.
That is where the story begins and this white woman
captures white fragility and supremacy and the most accurate of ways.
(30:02):
And I don't want to tell you what happened because
I want you all to read the book. But one
interesting thing that came out of that book, and I
was like in my early twenties, I think when I
first read this book. One interesting thing that came out
of it is as they were talking to the local
people of the Congo, they were talking to them about
democracy and this is the way things have to be
and you guys have to operate in a democracy, so
you have to vote on this and the community. It
(30:26):
was a chief, a chief in the Congo, who said, so,
you're trying to tell me America is okay if forty
nine percent of its community is unhappy, just because fifty
one percent of people are. And you're trying to tell me,
a chief that my opinion is the same as an
(30:48):
eighteen year old's opinion. I am a chief in my
fifties or sixties, however you old he was, and I
have to stand on equal footing with this eighteen year old.
I mean, look, I appreciate democracy. You look at what
has across the globe I think it's a legitimate. It
is a legitimate function of government that you know, when
we are included. I understand it, but having it challenged
(31:11):
it really did help shape my worldview when I was
a younger woman, and it just, you know, it kind
of forces you to abandon this American exceptionalism that how
we do things is the best and the only way
to do it. Reading this book, I remember consuming that thinking, wow,
like that is a very legitimate point he's making, And
let me open my mind to other political and economic systems.
(31:33):
You know, we are, you know, in a democracy, we
function on capitalism. How have these things harmed us? How
have these things helped us? But the story gets into
so much more than that. It is just if you
ask anybody my book club, everybody, they're like, please stop
talking about poison with Bible. It is one of my
favorite books. Another book that I highly, highly, highly recommend.
It was on the New York Times bestseller list. Forever
(31:55):
is Black af History. It's a book by Michael Harriet.
And Michael Harriet, you guys follow him on Twitter. He's
known for doing these amazing, historically accurate threads about pretty
much anything happening in the Country. He used to write
for The Root, then he wrote for the Grio. He
writes for The Guardian, like you can find his byline everywhere.
(32:17):
He wrote this amazing book that is like a Bible,
like you literally can't read it in one setting. And
what I love about it is because I'm privileged to
call Michael a friend. And Michael was homeschooled. He grew
up in South Carolina, and so he never learned this
fantastical tale of America that so many of us did.
(32:38):
He never learned that Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. He
never learned that, oh, these nice little white pilgrims just
pulled up on America and the indigenous people were like,
come on, guys, let's all have a meal. Like he
only learned the truth, and his curious mind led him
to research, and so he kind of became this historian
and started following these things that he learned as a
(32:58):
child and rear them and you know, like literally connected
and historical data and facts and documents with the stories
that he tells. And he tells the true story of America.
And the book is written very academic, but in language
(33:20):
like you and I speak, So it's it's digestible, it's
easily processed, but it tells the most accurate story of
the founding of America. And when I say it is
absolutely fascinating. Michael Harriet as he in addition to becoming
a historian, he you know, went to and I don't
know what he studied in undergrad but he went on
to study macroeconomics. He has such a just a vast
(33:44):
field of expertise. And it's funny, like, you read this book,
you laugh out loud sometimes and you are just righteously angry.
But what you I can guarantee is you learn so much.
It is with footnotes, it is with stories. It's a
quiz at the end of each chap there. If you
have kids, please make them read this book. If you're
curious about history, read this book. If you're not curious
(34:06):
about history, get curious because this book, it is the
most amazing piece of work. So shout out to Michael Harriott.
So yeah, I think those are some of my Oh
The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wow by Juno DS.
Every dude I recommend this book too. They love it.
So that's another one I love. So yeah, those are
some of my favorite books I love to read. If
(34:27):
you guys like reading, if you have books that you're reading,
please send them, drop a comment, let me know what
you're reading. I love to read. This one of my
favorite things. So I just gave you guys some really
good recommendations. I can guarantee you won't be disappointed. I'll
recap Ghana Must Go, The Poison Wood Bible, Black af
History by Michael Harriet, and The Brief Wondrous Life by
(34:48):
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wow by Juno DS.
I could probably give you twenty more books because I
love them, but off the top of my head, those
are some. So now you guys owe me at least
four books that I have to add to my collections.
So please do drop a comment and let me know
what I should be reading. Okay, I think that's all.
I have more questions, but I think that's all the
time that we have. I hope this isn't boring to y'all.
(35:10):
Just hearing me answering some of your questions. I appreciate
that you all are so curious and have so much
to share and have feedback, so we'll do this every
now and then. You guys, let me know what you
think about it. If you like me talking to you,
we'll do more of these in addition to our regular shows.
Oh really quickly, one question I didn't get to. Somebody
was saying, Carl and I were talking about this. Somebody
wanted to know, well, when is your next episode of
(35:31):
Across Generations coming out? And She's like, yeah, but by
the time that you're answering it, like the episode will
be out. So I'm going to answer that question. The
next episode of Across Generations is now right now because
you're tuning into it. But I do want you to
know that we drop every Tuesday. That's when we drop
our audio, and then every Wednesday is when we drop
our video. So please be sure to subscribe to our
(35:53):
YouTube channel. It is at a cross Gen podcast, follow
us on Instagram at a cross Gen podcast. You can
follow me at Tiffany d Cross on Instagram and share
and rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. You
can get this show anywhere you get your podcasts, and
of course you can watch the video on YouTube. And
I know a lot of you have friends who only
listen to the audio, and so sometimes I say, oh
(36:15):
my gosh, you didn't watch it on YouTube, And I'll
show them a clip on YouTube and they're like blown,
They're like, oh, I never thought that guest would look
like that, or oh when I listened to it, I thought,
you know, I pictured somebody who look totally different. So
I appreciate that there are some people who really like
the audio, and then there are other people who are
just loyal to watch in the video. However you watch it,
we hope you continue to consume this content because it
(36:37):
really is made with you in mind. And I am
thrilled and blessed and honored and privileged to take any
amount of your time to have these deeper conversations. We'll
be talking about a lot more topics. We have an
endless bucket of topics that we can talk about each
week with an elder a younger in me. So thank
you for taking the time to tune into this very
special episode and being a part of our cross Stain
(36:59):
podcast group Chat. And we'll see you back here next
week with an all new episode of Across Generations. I'm
your host, Tiffany Cross. Across Generations is brought to you
by Wolfpacker and Wolfpacker Media in partnership with iHeart podcast
I'm Your host and executive producer Tiffany d. Cross from
Idea to Launch Productions executive producer Carla wilmeris produced by
(37:22):
Mandy B and Angel Forte, editing, sound design and mix
by Gaza Forte, original music by Epidemic Sound, video editing
by Kathin Alexander and court meetings
Welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of black women unite.
I'm your host, Tiffany Cross. Tiffany Cross. Tiffany, we gather
a season elder myself as the middle generation and a
vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations. Prepared to engage
or hear perspections that no one else is having. You
(00:26):
know how we do? We create, magic, Create Maggie. Hi, everybody,
welcome to another episode of Across Generations. I'm your host,
Tiffany Cross, and for today's episode, it is literally just
you and me, guys. This is basically our Across gen
podcast group chat. I am answering all of your questions.
(00:47):
Over the course of the last season, you guys dropped
a lot of comments, questions, feedback, and so I'm going
through some of them today and talking with you guys
about it. So that reminds me I should tell you
if you have thoughts, comments, question and you want me
to answer, please be sure to leave a comment, drop
a question, whatever it is. We have. I look at
the comments, I check DMS, and we have a whole
(01:09):
team of producers, executive producers and everybody who looks at everything.
You say, so, be sure to drop a note if
you have something you want me to respond to or notice.
And yeah, so I want to give you heads up though,
like every group chat, I don't know about yours, but
mine could be all over the place. So when I'm
going through some of these, I might be all over
(01:29):
the place because I'm not answering them in any specific order.
So thank you guys for tuning in and having so
much curiosity and thoughts and feedback. Okay, let's get to
our group chat at across Gin Podcast group Chat. This
is Melanie Garland. I think it's oh, Melanie Ragland. Sorry
(01:51):
if I'm mispronouncing anybody's same Melanie Raglan thirty one oh eight.
You say, great show as always. I have been married
my whole adult life, and you still have to learn
how to love yourself and be good by yourself. I
find sometimes that single women will talk to me like
my life is easier. I finally told one friend that
married life is not better than single life, It's just different.
(02:13):
There are many things that I admire about single lifestyles.
Both lifestyles have peaks and valleys. I love that. So
she probably, I guess, maybe did this on our episode
about marriage, and I love that comment, and I think
that is really true. A lot of my friends have
said a lot of single people, particularly younger people, can
assume that married life is like one long first date,
(02:36):
and that's not the case. And I really love that
she's saying, it's just different. You know, for the people
who treat marriage like it's a sorority, they want to pledge.
It can be a lot of work. So you imagine
your absolute favorite person who you're saying every day, you
see them in and out the shower every day, and
they get on your nerves. You eat, and you hear
them chewing. Sometimes they're breathing loud, they snore. It's just
(02:57):
somebody else farting in the couch. You know, I just
might get on your nerves. I think it's a good
reminder for us to not romanticize what marriage and relationships
it are and to focus on like a deeper, meaningful connection.
So thank you for that, Melanie. I certainly echo those thoughts.
Florence J. Tempton fifteen sixty nine, She says, I had
(03:19):
a similar experience Tiffany with a high school classmate. Oh okay,
so let me tell you as I'm reading her question.
This is definitely on the episode that we did on
interracial Friendships. You all had a lot of thoughts about
that episode. So Florence says, I had a similar experience
Tiphany with a high school classmate. We would joke around
and flirt, and so one day he said to me,
(03:41):
I date you if you were white. Now, I wasn't
attracted to him that part. I thought we were just
being playful, but I never spoke to him again after that. Yeah,
so this is a very common thing. I remember when
I was in the seventh grade and this guy, Kenny,
I won't say his last name, I remember his last name,
but it was East Cob Middle School, and this guy
(04:05):
kn't He said to me, you know, Tiffany, you're so
pretty for a black girl. And that wasn't the first
time I heard it. It wasn't the last time I
heard it. And the offense in that statement because it's
not always our physical attribution, which in itself is offensive
given our very specific history in this country with white
(04:29):
men lusting after black women in our bodies. But sometimes
it's you're smart for a black girl, or you're so
well spoken for a black girl, or you conduct yourself
differently from other black people, and I just want to
say I and they, and they are me. Okay, we
are one unit. And so this whole attitude of like,
(04:52):
I don't like them, but you're the special one. I
think sometimes that can make it difficult to have genuine
friendships with people across, you know, certain racial and ethnic lines.
But if you have somehow found that magic formula, great,
you know, because on the flip side of that, and
I think maybe this didn't come across in the episode,
(05:15):
I think having some curiosity about our fellow countrymen is
always a good thing. You know. For example, a lot
of people may not know that the Asian American Pacific
Islander community is the fastest growing demographic in this country,
and so having relationships with people in this community with
the understanding that there are anti black sentiment and people
(05:36):
who feel and hold anti black sentiments in every community.
I always approach it with that understanding. But having honest
conversations with people in different communities has really been helpful
to me in broadening my perspective. I think when it
comes to white people, that's such a perspective that was
you know, we know so well, you know, we have
no choice but to know that perspective and understand that
(05:59):
community becaus For so long, that's been the master narrator.
But as the racial demographics of the country change, there
will be no racial majority post twenty forty four. And
so you know, understanding the Latino community better, who for
the first time have eclipsed Black voters when it comes
to eligible voters, not registered voters, but eligible voters, and
understanding how you can disaggregate these communities. You know, they
(06:20):
all have different countries of origin and just fall under
the umbrella of Api or Latino, the indigenous community, who
by all means have certainly suffered in this country at
the hands of white supremacy. So yeah, and the Muslim
community as we see these conversations expand around Gaza. So
I definitely encourage people to broaden our friendship circles and horizons.
(06:46):
But I also know that safe spaces for us are
often few and far between, So I just value those
spaces for myself. But thank you Florence for sharing that
because I can certainly relate to that. Okay, Ted Tedwards
T Edwards, I don't know T Edwards nine four sixty one.
He says, I am a fifty nine year old black
guy from southern Virginia, and I thought I had a
(07:07):
lot of white friends, and so one day my best
black friends explained to me that I did not, and
I have to agree with her. She explained that since
I don't speak with them about my negative racial history
and experiences, they can't be considered my friends. I have
spoken with her for countless hours about the racism experience
by my black friends in Virginia, and she knew I
(07:29):
didn't talk about those things with white people I think
of as friends. She also asked me to count the
number of white friends I would go camping or hunting with.
That sealed it for me. Okay, again, I completely understand that,
but you know, I would also say friendship is how
you define it. I think sometimes we're very loose with
(07:50):
those words when I say friend. If I'm calling somebody
my friend, like this is my girl, or this is
my you know, my man fifty grand like we are
ride or died Sintos down, this is my people. And
so maybe you have associates who are outside of your
racial or ethnic demographic, maybe they're not friends. And that's
what it sounds like with mister t Edwards. Okay. This
(08:13):
next one is at Toya forty to seventy. Oh, this
is okay. This is on our motherhood episode. A lot
of you guys had are mama trauma. I should say
a lot of you guys had a lot of thoughts
about that. She says, this is a powerful conversation, and
I'm in tears. I was mentally and physically abused by
my mother. We had a turbulent relationship, but I truly
(08:36):
loved her. She was depressed, angry, and drank alcohol every day.
She never hugged me nor said she loved me. She
often told me that birthing me at fifteen ruined her life,
while she died from a heart attack at fifty two.
I'm now fifty three, after intense therapy and the love
of Jesus I forgave my mother. She did the best
she could. At least she tried, unlike my father who
(08:58):
walked away. Thank you to me for bringing women together
to heal through sharing our truth. I've been watching you
since your shows across Connection. Peace and blessings, Well, Peace
and blessings to you. Joya. First, I want to say
I'm sorry that happened to you. I cannot imagine having
that relationship. And I, you know, I found that conversation
(09:20):
for me. You guys are car Our executive producer, Carla
stepped in for that episode, and you know, and we
had the elder woman's blinis on with us. For me personally,
that episode was very healing, you know, hearing myself for
count things that I had gone through. My mom and
I we talked every day. We have a close relationship,
(09:43):
and I can meet my mother with the grace that
she deserves, but also not abandoned that little me that
was so traumatized by our upbringing. So to all of
you out there who are still managing and navigating tumultuous, difficult,
challenging relationships with the parent, but specifically black women, uh
and our mothers, I wish you well on that journey
(10:06):
because it is indeed a journey. And I don't know,
just something in me cracked open, uh in talking about that,
and I just I just love my mother dearly, and
I'm just you know, grateful. I don't romanticize having another life.
I don't think Oh, if I were raised by Claire Huxtable,
I might. You know, however my life turned out, it
made me a very hard working, ambitious, dedicated person. You
(10:31):
can drop me off in the middle of the jungle
and I'm gonna come out rock and chinchilla and eating
and drinking out of a coconut. So I'm grateful for
the childhood I had. It made me hungry, and I
know I went to school with a lot of people
who were, you know, compared to me, very privileged. I
work with a lot of people who were raised very
differently than me, and yeah, there is a difference, like you,
(10:54):
you can tell, and God bless everybody on their path.
But I'm grateful for my So for all of you
navigating mama trauma, I wish you a brighter tomorrow because
it only comes, in my opinion, only comes when you
do the work, and you can't always depend on your
mom to do the work. For me, I had to
(11:16):
do the work on my own and I'm still doing
a lot of that work to be honest. Okay, this
is from Rosie B nine. I had to pull my
car over after listening to only half the podcast. The
emotions were so raw for me. My mother has been
gone for sixteen years, but the scars she left are
(11:37):
still open. The lady on the right. That was Carla,
our executive producer. The lady on the right seems to
share some of the same traumas and reactions as I
did and still do in therapy now, So I am
on a journey to healing. But that is a long
rickety road. Indeed, it is, Rosie, and thank you for
(11:58):
sharing that testimony, and I wish you well, and therapy
is definitely a helpful part of that process and it
definitely helped me in my process, So thank you for sharing.
At LW five five nine two, oh okay, So, just
reading the first sentence, I want to tell you guys
(12:19):
that this is a question about the show that we
did on domestic violence, and that show it was so
I don't have any personal history with domestic violence, so
I just so connected with both of the women who
joined us just on the strength of their own testimonies.
They were so amazing. Are younger, she has her own podcast.
(12:45):
I just she was so compelling to me and our
elder like I just wanted to hold their hands the
entire episode. So I'm happy that so many of you
tuned in and talked about that. Okay, So l W
five five nine, she says, I was eighteen, he was
twenty two, and after the first time he beat me up,
(13:06):
he locked me in the apartment, bars on the window
and a dead lock on the door that required a
key inside and outside to open, and he took both
sets of keys when he walked out the apartment. Months later,
it occurred to me that had there been a fire,
I would have been trapped. That was over fifty years ago.
(13:27):
Couldn't finish watching this video because it was too triggering,
But so glad we're talking about this. Keep talking, keep
talking until this stops. Wow. I mean this is true
to the thesis of the show that over fifty years
ago that she was dealing with abuse. This was imprisonment
(13:48):
for her, quite frankly, and so that this abuse has
impacted so many people across generations is precisely the reason
why we wanted to talk about it. So thank you
LW five five nine two for that comment. And I
think on the same show we have another comment from
I'm messing up these names, but it looks like Nakeisha
(14:08):
Fuller Nikisha Fuller to ninety and she says thanks for
this video. I tuned in because I lost a college
friend this week from domestic violence. And wanted to understand
how could this have happened, what she probably endured, and
her possible mental state to stay. I had no clue,
and even her closest friends that she seen in recent
(14:32):
weeks were clueless that she was suffering from domestic violence.
She's been with her husband since high school, and all
I can think about is has she been enduring abuse
for decades with him? I'm so hurt because she was
a beautiful soul and left behind two young adults that
she poured her all into. Prayers to my beautiful friend,
Tiffany Stokes, I love usiss. Wow, what an awful story,
(14:59):
but I'm all so grateful that she shared it because
the truth is, you never know when that next time
will be the last time when someone will take your life.
So again, because these are the questions we're talking about,
I just want to say, if you are someone who
is being abused and you are frightened, please pull the
National Domestic Violence Hotline get help. There are all types
(15:22):
of triggers they have on the computer where they can't
search your search history. Just leave, leave, prioritize your life
and leave. So And I don't know this friend that
she's talking about but definitely so sorry to hear that
Tiffany Soakes passed away. And I hope that even this
testimony is testimony for someone out there to leave today
(15:46):
right now. Okay, this is from at just D eighty seven,
and he says, I seriously wish you would join. I
seriously wish you would join the VP Harris campaign and
assist her in getting the right messages out to the country.
(16:08):
My question, why is it so hard this net I
told you guys, he's like around. Why is it so
hard for the media to be totally unbiased and just
report the facts when it comes to Trump? Okay, that's
a two parter. First, let me say I whenever this
show airs, it will hopefully be after election day when
(16:29):
we can start calling her President elects Kamala Harris. I
think if you are even remotely familiar with me, you
know my politics, and I'm an enthusiastic voter for President
elect Kamala Harris. I am not well suited to join
an administration. If you watch my show that I had
on MSNBC, The Cross Connection, I am not filtered and
(16:52):
I do not exist for the comfort of white folks.
And so in politics there is a lot of I
think posturing and and you know, strategicy, I'll say as it.
When it comes to navigating communication, I think I'm much
more effective outside those confines of the Beltway when I
can encourage and even cajole at times for policy to
(17:19):
move in favor of black folks. But I enjoy living
in service to my community, and I never want to
do anything that is harmful to the community. And I
just think the most impactful way to do that is unconfined,
which is what I'm doing. Your other question about the media, Yes,
I think, you know, this is why we see the
media become so decentralized now, and streaming has disrupted this
(17:43):
landscape because for so long the media is playing in
our face, you know, even with you know, the quote
unquote assassion nation attempts on president the former president Trump
forty five and then you know, you hear people say, oh,
we got to, you know, tone down the rhetoric. Well,
(18:05):
you know, for years we have heard hateful rhetoric when
it comes to black folks. And it should be noted
that anytime there has been an attempt, it has been
a Trump supporter. It was not from the left. But
I think the bigger point about that is these are
commons that are from people who are unhinged. It doesn't
to me their politics don't even matter. They're just unhealthy,
(18:25):
mentally unwell people. And so I think the media is
quickly quickly making themselves less relevant, which is concerning to
me as a journalist. I've been a journalist for twenty
four years now, and I think it is malpractice what
(18:46):
we're seeing happen. And most of our newsrooms are still
run by people who don't necessarily have our lived experience.
So until that changes, I'm afraid that's what it is.
But I hope you will continue to tune into across
generations when you do want to break from politics. And
obviously I have another podcast that's political when you want
(19:08):
to hear political conversations that is not so filtered. You
can google me to see why. I might not have
great things to say about the media landscape, but I
still appreciate the question. Just D eighty seven. Okay, this
next one is ap Somas. It's Apie underscore to Mastere. Okay,
(19:30):
your messages. I lost mommy when I was seventeen years old.
I am forty now, and up until last year, I
couldn't talk about her without crying my eyes out. Some years,
I would be okay and then something major, good or
bad would happen in my life and I will get
incredibly sad because I felt like she was missing it.
(19:50):
But I tell you something, there's something about grief if
you give time time, I promise it. Subsides. I'll never
get over the grief of growing up without her, but
I have learned how to cope, and I can honestly
say I'm finally okay without her. If you are experiencing
grief currently, I pray for your peace, understanding and patience. No,
(20:10):
it will be okay one day. Rip Miranda Suerise, Oh wow,
so we did a show on grief. I assume this
is what this comment was responding to. And yeah, I
have to tell you, I'm blessed to still have my
mother with me. My father passed away in ninety maybe
(20:31):
ninety one. Grief is, I think, one of those emotions
or experiences. There is no cure, there is no there's
no fast track to mental health. You know. It is
(20:53):
just something you have to feel. And I am terrified,
absolutely terrified when I have to feel that for my mother.
I mean as part of the grace I have for her,
as tumultus is our relationship has been at times I
cannot imagine living on this earth without her. Even the
thought of it brings a lump in my throat. I
just it does not compute in my mind. And yet
(21:16):
and yet, this is a cycle of life, and so
I know at one point that will be my reality.
So I because it's so unimaginable to me, I won't
even disrespect the people who are experiencing it right now
with offering any thoughts other than I see you. I
understand from the little bit of grief that I've experienced,
(21:39):
and I appreciate this note about it takes time that
in time, I don't know that it's a wound that heals.
I think you know from my understanding of going through
it myself in different ways and people who have gone
through it, is it's just a pain that you become
accustomed to, which is a sad, sad way to think
(22:02):
about the future that we'll all have to endure that.
But I know people who endure it and they go
on to live their lives. Maybe in a different way.
You learn to feel your lost loved ones in a
different way. So my prayers to you, I'm maybe Tomas,
and I'm really happy and grateful to you that you
shared that testimony. And to your beloved mother, Miranda Charisse
(22:26):
Rip she has gone on to join the ancestors, and
I am thinking of you as I pray and hope
that she is in the arms of the Ancestors and
whatever God you may worship. Okay, we have another question
from Raheem. Massy must say Raheem Massy must say, Raheem
(22:48):
wants to know who are you dating? Why are you asking, Raheem?
Did somebody tell you they were dating me? Them? Me?
Who said that? And I tell you if it's true
or not. That's probably all I got to say on
that one. I I'm don't so I will always be
open with you guys, but I probably will not be
dropping names on this podcast about dating. But I do
(23:09):
appreciate the question. If you did read somewhere about something
or somebody told you they were dating me, I want
to know who. And y'all start a rumor about me
dating somebody hot somebody, fine, so then I could get
with that person, say you know, they keep saying we
dating and we still figure out how we want to
handle this thing. I'll think about who that person could be. Y'all.
Let me know who would y'all like to see me date?
That's what I want to know. Okay? Oh this is
(23:32):
from It's Soul one. It's so one. They want to
know my top five albums. I like that question. Top
five albums? Okay, I don't know if I if these
are in any order, but off the top of my head,
Purple Rain, that's the album I listen to I don't skip,
and then, of course you know it's Prince Carlo want
(23:52):
me to embarrass myself and sing my favorite song off
Purple Rain? What is okay? Uh? Why am I letting
her let me embarrass myself? Maybe I'm just like my mother.
She's never said it by why do we scream at
(24:12):
each other? This is what it sounds like when does
Ki don't don't? Okay, I'm not embarrassing myself anymore. Anywhoo,
that's one of my favorite song. Obviously, Purple Rain is
my favorite song, but When Does Cry as a close second.
So Purple Rain definitely one of my favorite albums. What's
the four one one? A lot of y'all marry lovers
(24:34):
like my life. But what's the four one one for me?
I do not skip when I remember getting that CD.
This back when people went to the store got CDs.
I remember buying albums, but people went and got CDs
and I would just let it play like I love.
Real Love was like so revolutionary to me. So I
love that whole out. I know every word to every
(24:56):
song on that album. So yes, Real Love, Mary J
another one. I don't say anything Adele. Like all of
Adele's albums, but her last album, the One was easy
on me. She always named them her aide so I
think this may have been thirty, but anyway, that album,
it was just this was the album that she did
(25:18):
after she got divorced and was raising her son. I
gotta say, I ain't divorced. I don't have no son,
but she made me feel like I was a single
mom sitting at home after going through a divorce. What
end it about Adele? Why do her melodies just make
us just feel everything? And you know another thing it's
interested about Adele. Ain't nobody mad about her? And who
(25:42):
is it? Rich Rich Paul? That's what she said, ain't
nobody mad about Adele? And Rich Paul like sometimes we
mad about so that one. I'm like, you know what,
I just want Adele to be happy. She's given us
so many ballots like I want Adele to be happy.
We want Mary to be happy too, and I'm happy.
I'm sorry that Mary went through so many things, but
from her, she gave us some beautiful music. So okay,
(26:03):
I said, Adele, I'm getting sidetracked, Adele Purple Rain, what's
the four to one one? I got two more? Carla
is off camera, y'all trying to tell me to sing
my favorite song off each of these. Let me think,
let me think. Okay, this is not my favorite, this
is not my favorite album, but I will tell y'all
this is my one of my favorite songs. Is when
(26:24):
I was first introduced to Tupac. Y'all, y'all, some of
y'all may be too young to know. Tupac used to
be with Digital Underground, and so we all knew SHOTG
like we all knew them. But then this song, same
song came out and I was like, who is this
rapping on this song? And it was Tupac's verse and
(26:45):
I was hooked from then, if we gonna have a
biggie Tupac debate. I gotta say I was a Tupac girl,
like I love Biggie. Don't get me wrong, Biggie had
like I had to like. It was no Google back then.
I had to like look in the dictionary as some
of the words he was used, and he was a lyricist.
But that Tupi verse, So I'll give you all this verse. Okay,
(27:05):
does this sing on? Okay? This was Tupac's verse his
first time he was rapping on the song Digital Underground,
same song. I used to clown around when I hang
around with the underground girls, used to clown say I'm
down when I come around, gas me when they passed me.
They used to diss me, harass me. Now they asked
me if they can kiss me, get some fame. People
change one of the life high, same song. Can't go wrong.
(27:26):
If I played a nice guy claim the fame mustachange.
Now that I became strong, I remained still the same
hy too, cause it's the same song. I was so
into it. Carlo got me embarrassing myself, dropping my flow,
dropping my Tupac flow. But it was a short little verse,
and I was like, damn, this dude is dope and
I liked them, and anyway, I was into him ever since.
So that's one of my favorites. It's all of his stuff.
(27:50):
I was into all of his stuff, Biggie for sure,
but I don't know that I would put that in
like my top top albums. T I like, he's a dude.
But then you know, I got these show the ladies
and loves when I was young. The first album I
ever bought was Hot Cool Vicious. And this was literally
an album hot cool visus. Who know who's saying this
(28:10):
song hot cool vishes. I'm waiting a minute before I
tell y'all because I want you all to drop in
the common don't cheat in Google dropping the comments to
y'all think it is Hot Cool Vicious. It was three
women on the album cover and one was in like
it was like a shaded red, and then one was
like purple, and then one was like blue DoD y'all
give up. I'm gonna just tell you Salt and Peppa.
It was Salt and Pepa, Hot Cool Vicious. That was
(28:31):
one of my favorite songs. Tramp what you call me? Then? Anyway,
that was one of my favorites. So yes, those are
my album. I don't think I gave you five, but
you got an idea of who who Some of my
faves are favorite author I like this question, so you
know I read a lot you guys, so I don't
(28:52):
know that I can narrow it down to my favorite author,
but I will tell you some of my favorite books.
Gana Must Go. It was one of my absolute favorite books.
It was an amazing book. And I'm so awful because
I can't remember the author. The other one, Oh, okay,
this is a book that I am so okay. There
are two books that I give away as presents. One
(29:13):
I've been given away since for twenty years now, and
this is It's okay. It's a book called the poison
Wood Bible. Poison Wood is one word, the poison Wood Bible,
and it is by Barbara Kingsolver and she is a
white woman and she let me tell you the premise
of the story. It is a white Southern Christian family
(29:36):
who travels to the Congo during the reign of La Mumba.
And this white Southern Christian family is there to show
the local savages in quotes, how to properly worship Jesus.
That is where the story begins and this white woman
captures white fragility and supremacy and the most accurate of ways.
(30:02):
And I don't want to tell you what happened because
I want you all to read the book. But one
interesting thing that came out of that book, and I
was like in my early twenties, I think when I
first read this book. One interesting thing that came out
of it is as they were talking to the local
people of the Congo, they were talking to them about
democracy and this is the way things have to be
and you guys have to operate in a democracy, so
you have to vote on this and the community. It
(30:26):
was a chief, a chief in the Congo, who said, so,
you're trying to tell me America is okay if forty
nine percent of its community is unhappy, just because fifty
one percent of people are. And you're trying to tell me,
a chief that my opinion is the same as an
(30:48):
eighteen year old's opinion. I am a chief in my
fifties or sixties, however you old he was, and I
have to stand on equal footing with this eighteen year old.
I mean, look, I appreciate democracy. You look at what
has across the globe I think it's a legitimate. It
is a legitimate function of government that you know, when
we are included. I understand it, but having it challenged
(31:11):
it really did help shape my worldview when I was
a younger woman, and it just, you know, it kind
of forces you to abandon this American exceptionalism that how
we do things is the best and the only way
to do it. Reading this book, I remember consuming that thinking, wow,
like that is a very legitimate point he's making, And
let me open my mind to other political and economic systems.
(31:33):
You know, we are, you know, in a democracy, we
function on capitalism. How have these things harmed us? How
have these things helped us? But the story gets into
so much more than that. It is just if you
ask anybody my book club, everybody, they're like, please stop
talking about poison with Bible. It is one of my
favorite books. Another book that I highly, highly, highly recommend.
It was on the New York Times bestseller list. Forever
(31:55):
is Black af History. It's a book by Michael Harriet.
And Michael Harriet, you guys follow him on Twitter. He's
known for doing these amazing, historically accurate threads about pretty
much anything happening in the Country. He used to write
for The Root, then he wrote for the Grio. He
writes for The Guardian, like you can find his byline everywhere.
(32:17):
He wrote this amazing book that is like a Bible,
like you literally can't read it in one setting. And
what I love about it is because I'm privileged to
call Michael a friend. And Michael was homeschooled. He grew
up in South Carolina, and so he never learned this
fantastical tale of America that so many of us did.
(32:38):
He never learned that Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. He
never learned that, oh, these nice little white pilgrims just
pulled up on America and the indigenous people were like,
come on, guys, let's all have a meal. Like he
only learned the truth, and his curious mind led him
to research, and so he kind of became this historian
and started following these things that he learned as a
(32:58):
child and rear them and you know, like literally connected
and historical data and facts and documents with the stories
that he tells. And he tells the true story of America.
And the book is written very academic, but in language
(33:20):
like you and I speak, So it's it's digestible, it's
easily processed, but it tells the most accurate story of
the founding of America. And when I say it is
absolutely fascinating. Michael Harriet as he in addition to becoming
a historian, he you know, went to and I don't
know what he studied in undergrad but he went on
to study macroeconomics. He has such a just a vast
(33:44):
field of expertise. And it's funny, like, you read this book,
you laugh out loud sometimes and you are just righteously angry.
But what you I can guarantee is you learn so much.
It is with footnotes, it is with stories. It's a
quiz at the end of each chap there. If you
have kids, please make them read this book. If you're
curious about history, read this book. If you're not curious
(34:06):
about history, get curious because this book, it is the
most amazing piece of work. So shout out to Michael Harriott.
So yeah, I think those are some of my Oh
The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wow by Juno DS.
Every dude I recommend this book too. They love it.
So that's another one I love. So yeah, those are
some of my favorite books I love to read. If
(34:27):
you guys like reading, if you have books that you're reading,
please send them, drop a comment, let me know what
you're reading. I love to read. This one of my
favorite things. So I just gave you guys some really
good recommendations. I can guarantee you won't be disappointed. I'll
recap Ghana Must Go, The Poison Wood Bible, Black af
History by Michael Harriet, and The Brief Wondrous Life by
(34:48):
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wow by Juno DS.
I could probably give you twenty more books because I
love them, but off the top of my head, those
are some. So now you guys owe me at least
four books that I have to add to my collections.
So please do drop a comment and let me know
what I should be reading. Okay, I think that's all.
I have more questions, but I think that's all the
time that we have. I hope this isn't boring to y'all.
(35:10):
Just hearing me answering some of your questions. I appreciate
that you all are so curious and have so much
to share and have feedback, so we'll do this every
now and then. You guys, let me know what you
think about it. If you like me talking to you,
we'll do more of these in addition to our regular shows.
Oh really quickly, one question I didn't get to. Somebody
was saying, Carl and I were talking about this. Somebody
wanted to know, well, when is your next episode of
(35:31):
Across Generations coming out? And She's like, yeah, but by
the time that you're answering it, like the episode will
be out. So I'm going to answer that question. The
next episode of Across Generations is now right now because
you're tuning into it. But I do want you to
know that we drop every Tuesday. That's when we drop
our audio, and then every Wednesday is when we drop
our video. So please be sure to subscribe to our
(35:53):
YouTube channel. It is at a cross Gen podcast, follow
us on Instagram at a cross Gen podcast. You can
follow me at Tiffany d Cross on Instagram and share
and rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. You
can get this show anywhere you get your podcasts, and
of course you can watch the video on YouTube. And
I know a lot of you have friends who only
listen to the audio, and so sometimes I say, oh
(36:15):
my gosh, you didn't watch it on YouTube, And I'll
show them a clip on YouTube and they're like blown,
They're like, oh, I never thought that guest would look
like that, or oh when I listened to it, I thought,
you know, I pictured somebody who look totally different. So
I appreciate that there are some people who really like
the audio, and then there are other people who are
just loyal to watch in the video. However you watch it,
we hope you continue to consume this content because it
(36:37):
really is made with you in mind. And I am
thrilled and blessed and honored and privileged to take any
amount of your time to have these deeper conversations. We'll
be talking about a lot more topics. We have an
endless bucket of topics that we can talk about each
week with an elder a younger in me. So thank
you for taking the time to tune into this very
special episode and being a part of our cross Stain
(36:59):
podcast group Chat. And we'll see you back here next
week with an all new episode of Across Generations. I'm
your host, Tiffany Cross. Across Generations is brought to you
by Wolfpacker and Wolfpacker Media in partnership with iHeart podcast
I'm Your host and executive producer Tiffany d. Cross from
Idea to Launch Productions executive producer Carla wilmeris produced by
(37:22):
Mandy B and Angel Forte, editing, sound design and mix
by Gaza Forte, original music by Epidemic Sound, video editing
by Kathin Alexander and court meetings
Host
Tiffany Cross
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