Is Porn Everywhere? With Cam + KarenLee Poter

This week on Let's Get Into It, Alex Aiono helps us understand the changing nature of the porn industry (we're looking at you, OnlyFans), what happens if you use adult videos in a relationship, and what to do with your mom's porn stash if anything should happen to her. Alex is joined by the hilarious KarenLee and Cam Poter, stars of the hit podcast Sex Talk With My Mom. We find out what it's like to stumble upon your moms cougar videos on youtube and how to keep porn ethical and safe. Kick the kids out of the room for this one - it's an absolute riot (and a little on the adult side).

Executive Producers Jack O'Brien + Miles Gray

Produced by Catherine Law

Edited + Engineered by Catherine Law

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Alex, and I think you probably shouldn't
have the kids around for this episode. No, no, all right,
we'll be all right forever. No, alright, alright, y'all. So

(00:27):
I said, I don't think the kids should be around
for this episode because today we are talking about the
big p I guess is what we're gonna call it. Um,
we're gonna be talking about porn today, and mom and dad,
if you're listening to this, maybe you shouldn't. But also,
don't be scared. I'm not. We're not like talking details.
We're just gonna be talking about how it's really kind
of everywhere. Um, I think it's kind of a taboo situation.

(00:50):
And you know, on this show we talk about absolutely everything.
Right now, it seems like porn is pretty much unavoidable.
You know, it's on your computer, it's on your smartphone.
It's on the cards that those guys slap in Las
Vegas and try and hand out to you on the street.
It's on Instagram, it's literally everywhere. Whereas back in the sixties,
when the Supreme Court was having a hard time regulating it,

(01:10):
Justice Potter Stewart famously said that he could not define pornography,
but I know it when I see it. If that's true,
I think I see it everywhere uh this, But I
think I think the whole thing is that this episode
is more than just about porn um. That's why we're
talking about it. It's more than just a video's issue.
It's it's actually a people issue. What happens to the

(01:31):
people who make it, what happens to the people who
are watching it? Where is the safe and the right
way to watch it? How can we make this ethical?
And I want to preface this whole episode because I'm
very much so coming in as a sheepish twelve year
old boys uncomfortable and unluckily, I am about to have
some amazing guests who helped me feel a little bit

(01:52):
more comfortable. But I do want to preface this whole
episode by saying, I truly believe, especially what AOC tweeted
Rees s Lee with the mantra, sex work is work.
And if this is something that you're into, I don't
want my ignorance on this topic to be a stance
against what you're into. I want you to be happy,

(02:13):
and if this is something that you do, I just
hope you're doing it ethically, and I hope you're doing
it safely. But this whole conversation really got me thinking,
is porn really everywhere? Welcome back, everybody. I'm alex Iono.
This is let's get into it. It's my podcast, and
today we're really proving that no topic is awful limits

(02:33):
because we're talking about I'm so uncomfortable. I can't even lie.
We're filming this on zoom and I'm so uncomfortable talking
about this. UM. We are talking about porn and it
is very, very like I said, awkward and uncomfortable for me.
So I wanted to invite some people who could make
it feel a little bit less awkward and uncomfortable. They
are the co hosts of the podcast Sex Talk with

(02:54):
My Mom Cam and Karen Lee Polder. They have the
talk at least twice a week. Cam is a stand
up comic and Karen Lye is a sex positive dating expert.
Cam Karen Lee, how are you guys. We're doing great today.
This is so fun. I love that. You know what
else I love is um. The other podcast that I
was wildly uncomfortable with was a podcast with two of

(03:16):
your friends. Actually, as I'm learning, Sophia and Courtney, who
are the host of um of private parts unknown. So
I'm very excited that we're going to keep the uncomfortable
train going with me here. Let's do it. Yeah, we
like to say that we like to make the uncomfortable comfortable. Okay, well,
let's let's see if we can make the uncomfortable comfortable

(03:36):
with this topic. Because I am truly at heart when
it comes to something like this, I'm still that innocent
church boys. So we have a lot to unwrapped here. Um,
we have three topics that we're going to kind of
talk about. I really am just curious how how the
the dynamic of you and your mom like talking openly
about sexes. So we're gonna call this topic finding mom's
porn stashum. And then we're gonna get into a topic

(03:58):
right after called sex work is work? And uh and lastly,
what do we need to know now? So we're gonna
have I I have so many questions. I've truly just
so perplexed at this, Like I've never been so excited
slash nervous to have a conversation as we are right now. Um.
But before we get into those topics, I have one
question that I ask all of my guests, and that

(04:21):
question is what are you doing this week or what
have you been doing this week to improve your life? Um,
most of the time the answers are somewhere along the
lines of fitness goals or like something that you're treating
yourself a little bit better with mental health and everything.
I'll give you some time to think. Uh. Usually I
have somebody who's done this before, like Karen or another guest,

(04:41):
but now I got to show you both how it's done. UM,
So this is this is kind of an example. So
for this week, UM, I actually got a new car.
My lease was up in a month, and I decided
to go down to the car dealership and say, hey,
my lease is up in a month. Um. But I
also know that there's a lot of incentives that you

(05:01):
guys are doing with with everything going on in the world,
and so I wanted to see if there was a
way that we could switch into a new car and
get this thing going already, just because I'm moving in
a month as well, and so I didn't want to
leave everything to do like at one time. Plus, car
dealerships absolutely screw you if they know that your deal
is up, Like if they know that you have nowhere
to go, like you have to sign a deal, They'll

(05:22):
just they'll just screw you over. So I decided to
go a month early. I got a car that is
much more expensive than the car I had before, and
I'm not changing my payments, bettering life bang, whoa. I'm
hyped about that. So that being said, Cam, do you
have something for yes, Uh, mine does not involve new cars.

(05:42):
I have been getting very into this idea of uh
taking breaks. So I'll schedule and taking breaks throughout my
day and then usually I'll just blow right past it.
I'll choose, I'll just work throughout the whole Thing'll be like, Okay,
I'm gonna take a break, and then it's like, oh, yeah,
I forgot I was supposed take that break eight hours ago.
Yes exactly. So this time I was like, I need

(06:06):
to actually do it, okay because my body is breaking down.
And so I started I started looking at this YouTube
video of this buff dude and he starts leading me
through like a kind of like his morning routine and
it involves like slapping his body rigorously. I love to
see this. Yeah, it's just a lot of this type
of thing. It's Actually it's wonderful. So that's improving my life.

(06:32):
I'm gonna need you to I'm gonna need you to
send me a link to that, just so I can
figure out. I have a visual in my head that
I don't know if it's right. It's very masochistic. And
then I want to make sure that that what I'm
thinking is the exact same thing is what it is. Yes,
i'd highly recommend it. Nice. I like it all right, Karenly,
do you have anything for us? So I was going
to do like a lofty thing about, you know, discovering

(06:53):
the meaning of life this week or something like that,
but I decided to tell the truth, which is I've
been working tirelessly on fifty photo albums that I've accumulated
over the last fifty years. And these are physical photos,
not digital. We're talking albums. Fifty albums at fifty individual

(07:13):
oh my gosh. And I've taken them all out of
the books that I had neatly put them in. And
this has been going on as a lifelong project and
it's finally ending, Like now I'm finally getting down to
the last I'm taking them all out of the albums
and putting them in boxes, and then I have duplicates,
and it's almost like, you know, the Sorcerer's Apprentice, when
the water just keeps coming and coming and just and

(07:34):
people sending more pictures in the mail. So I am
like at the tail end of that, and I feel
like a huge relief. And we can now talk about
porn split second. For a split second, you were talking
about photo albums, and I forgot that We're having just
the most exciting, nerve racking conversation right now. Um but

(07:56):
I love that. Good luck to you on photo albums.
I lack the patients to even go through my digital
photo album so I have no idea how you're physically
going to go through fifty real physical photo albums. Good
luck to you on that they're done. Oh my gosh.
Then you're you're just you're you're a magical person. Thank you.

(08:17):
You know, speaking speaking of magical people, we're about to
get into some some pretty uh interesting discussions. Usually. Actually,
I the way that I do it is I break
down in each segment I do with one specific person.
But because I had such amazing guests, I decided we
would just do one big open conversation with each thing. Um,
So let's get into this first topic. Uh, it really,

(08:38):
it's for me. I'm just trying to figure like understand
fully this dynamic between the two of you, because it's
incredible to me. Like I think about my relationship with
my mom and how open I am and my mom
like knows. Like I'll be like, oh, mom, you know
when I'm dating somebody and I tell you that I'm
dating somebody, but when I was you know, when I
talk about my past or if my mom asked me
about this person, I'll be like, oh, yeah, I hooked
up with her, or like oh I only made out

(08:58):
with her, or whatever the city suation is. But you
guys have it like you're at level ten. If that's
level two, you guys are at level ten. How did
you get before we get into any of that, How
did you get to this place of comfort? Has it
always been like that? Was there one defining moment what happened?
I would say growing up, I was at level five.

(09:19):
I would say that it was pretty comfortable growing up,
Like my mom was very much the cool mom where
my friends would come over basically to hang out with her. Okay,
to Stacy, you gotta have Stacy's mom kind of situation. Yeah, unfortunately,
all right, sty Stacy. Yeah, Stacy's mom has got to

(09:39):
going out. You don't want your friends wanting to find
on the show. Don't think that they weren't there for
Stacy's mom. They were really there more for advice. Okay,
well let's get into that vice advice because because karently
you actually are a dating expert who is very pro sex,
very positive sex. It's sex, it's that sex positive. I'm

(10:00):
kind of like the me that kind of seems like
an STD like that. I don't know why it sounds
like that. Well, there's a lot going on. Okay, So,
first of all, I do have a master's in social work,
just f y I, but I was mostly working in
a you know, kindergarten through eighth grade level, so I
wasn't really dealing with anything with regarding dating sex relationships.
But it all started back when, like Cam said, you know,

(10:24):
his friends were over all the time and we were
talking comfortably about sex in a funny way. They don't
like entertained me. So this these conversations gone at eleven
o'clock a night till one in the morning or so.
And it wasn't just Cam because he's got two siblings.
But when I'm gonna I'm gonna throw this back on
Cam again. He hates when I do this, but I'm
gonna do this, So go ahead, Cam, tell him what

(10:44):
happened next. Okay, of course she does this. It's unreal
like the sad part of our story. She's like, Cam's
gonna handle that one. So the sad party is when
I was seventeen, my dad was murdered. It was a crazy,
yest experience. I flipped our world's upside down. We obviously

(11:05):
that's not something you really expect um and then you
know it brought my mom and I and the rest
of her family much closer together to get through this tragedy.
In that situation, eventually my mom started dating again, and
she became an expert in her own right from all
the experiences that she was having. I'd say, on for

(11:27):
so you became an expert by living it. Yeah, Well,
also because of the fact that most of the guys
that were hitting at me were younger. Is that that?
Would you say that that's what supprise surprised you the
most about dating or was there something else in terms
of because you were you were married for quite a
bit I'm assuming and twenty four years so at that point,

(11:49):
what was what had changed about dating? What were you
just did anything kind of throw you off about? Oh wow,
this is how it is these days. Oh it's completely different.
I mean there was no Internet dating or anything like that. Um.
And I was also surprised at all of a sudden,
all these young guys, like eighteen to thirty five year
old guys. I was in my late forties when we're hitting.
I mean, I'm like the nerve. But then I'm like,

(12:09):
this is kind of nice. So you became a cougar.
Then I became and I redefined the word cougar. Okay,
so what's the new define? The acronym uh SEE is
for confident, older, unique, januine, assertive and racy woman. I
like that. I like that. That's that's and you know
what I couldn't figure out another. It's not a mil if,

(12:30):
it's not a single hot mom, it's not a mature woman.
It's just I figured cougar is gonna work. I think
that I like the cougar. I feel like the thing
I like about cougar's cougar gives the power to the
woman or the cougar you know when you say the
other thing, you say malf when you say these other ones,
it's like people are are throwing a word at somebody,
whereas somebody gets to claim what they are. And I
think it's dope that you have the confidence to just

(12:52):
put it out there. Shoutouts cougars everywhere. By the way,
shout out cougars everywhere. It's right. Book about it too? Okay, Okay,
great a book. So Cam, how did you find with
the book the way that you found out that your
mom is now full on giving advice about dating and sex. Well,
she told me she was going to make a YouTube
channel to help other women like after going through death

(13:14):
or divorce, but then it quickly became she was helping
younger men, uh learn about penis size and you know,
how to how to attract a cougar and how to
pleasure them. And I unfortunately learned this through like videos
that my friends would send me that my mother created,
Oh my god, or during my own Google searches, which

(13:37):
is very disturbing. This is what you're searching for, your
searching for stuff. Yeah, I search. I don't think we,
I don't think any of us need to talk about
what exactly is being searched right now. I think he
was searching for all sex tips. That's what good this golly,
I can't eat this sot in the room he was

(13:59):
searching for oral I was looking for all sex tips
and my mother's videos came up and then and I
was like, this is I did not expect this, okay,
So anyway, Cam decides to use my book A Cougar's
Guide get your aspect out there in a stand up
comedy right because I was very humiliated by this, and

(14:20):
I was like, how do I like, I need to
either use this or pretend like my life. If I don't,
I don't exist. By the way, Cam, it's incredible that
your stand up comedian, because your life right now, the way,
this whole form out of everything is just comedic gold
Like you will never run out of something to talk about.
Thank you. Yeah, I know. It turned out to be
a gold mine. So I just I was like, eventually

(14:42):
I was like, well, why why am I doing like
eight minutes sets? We could be having these hour long
conversations on our podcast where I just just have a
conversation with her, And it's insane where these conversations go.
So I have a new question, which is, um, currently actually, recently,
you have revealed that you have a porn safe and

(15:03):
that if anything were to happened to you, Cam should
find it and burn it. Well, it's he said, it's
a porn safe. It's actually a porn tape. Because in
the olden days, you know, fifteen years ago. I've been
with my boyfriend for twelve years, so it must have
been twelve years old. Um, we made one, you know,
a porn o. Yes, it's har it's not even just like, oh,

(15:26):
these are magazines she's collected. No, this is her own porn.
But she made and I think everybody should do it.
What did I get this episode into? Why? Why wouldn't
you do that if you're dating someone or if you're
going to study relationship with someone. It's fun. You know
what it is is like this is I'll be a
dent on. It's the reason why I'm just like my
face is flush red, I am just through the moon

(15:48):
right now. Is because this is not I mean you
have to understand, like, I know you guys are Midwesterners,
but like but I am like I was like the
way that I was raised as like I this is
all I don't even watch porn, let alone make one. Wait, Alex,
I don't watch porn either, I know, but but you

(16:10):
make do you make them too? I don't make Okay,
So it's just a Karen Lee thing. So it's just
a Karen Lean. There's a lot of people out there
doing that. I mean, yes, there's obviously there's obviously people.
And by the way, I want to preface this, I
have nothing against people who are who are in the
porn industry. I have nothing against sex workers. I have nothing.
I think that's incredible. If you want to do that
with your life, I absolutely support you. It's just for me.

(16:33):
I've never been It's never been something that I wanted
to to attract myself to. So I want to preface
with that because I don't want to shame or disgrade,
like like discredit people who are getting paper or doing
their thing or just having fun passion. I mean, currently
it seems like you just did it out of out
of fun. Of course, this is just from my boyfriend
and I Okay, it was just that's it was just

(16:54):
a little fun. That's kind of sweet. That's actually kind
of I mean, I'm now flipping over a completely that's
kind of sweet the way that you just said that
like it. It's never That's the reason we called it
a porn safe because what he did, he did I
don't know where you get he labeled it as a
porn safe. It was a safe that I kept my
tape in nobody and I asked him to be nice

(17:15):
if if it ever came out, if you just burn it.
I just don't want it on the internet when I
am I responsible? How did I become? Your sister is
very conservative when it comes to what about what about
the other star of the porn? Oh? Him, No, I
would not know, you know, and he's the one who
would post it. What I'm concerned about. That's why it's

(17:37):
safe that the combinations. Okay, so I mean it just
it's something fun. I think everybody should try doing it.
It will enhance your sex life. I'm not getting some
more tips, Alex, Okay, let's I'm I'm interested in more tips,
but I'm not saying that I won't and I'm not
saying that I will. I'm just saying I will take
your advice with a grain of salt. And I can

(18:01):
never imagine myself doing it. But I really appreciate really
appreciate the advice before we get into the rest of
the advice, because I want to I want to I
want to hear all of the advice that you have. Um,
I want to hear just more about this dynamic between
the two of you. You have a podcast that is
literally each episode it's always talking about sex. It's the
talk with your mother. Is there anything that's off limits

(18:23):
between the two of you, because it seems like there's not.
At first there was, and then it's been five years,
so you know it. We just broke down. I think
every barrier that we put up for ourselves. Anal was
a big barrier. Okay, I think you're around your three.
We broke through the anal barrier and now very much

(18:45):
on the table the discussion, the discussion, the discussion we
didn't have anal. I mean, if people always say, are
you having sex, I'm like, no, not power of what
do you mean we're having sex? No? Oh my god?
Just talking about it. And I think the more people
would talk about, the less shame that would be around it,
the more comfortable people would feel talking about it after beforehand.

(19:09):
And and it's helpful to talk with your family members
because it opens up not just a conversation about sex,
but about drugs, about anything that you're ashamed about. And
it makes families so much closer. I mean, it's helped
with me and my relationship with my daughter, my other son,
my boyfriend, my siblings, my friends, my parents. I think,

(19:29):
go ahead. I was thinking, like, you know, I got
into this, into this because I thought it would be funny,
you know, and then I was like, whoa, this is
actually people are a listening to us for sex advice,
which is which is not advised, very ill advised, and
and be you know, we're having an actual impact by
making people more comfortable, by making them feel less alone

(19:52):
in this because I think other people probably make porn
saves and porn stashes for themselves, and they might feel
shame about it if they don't feel like they could
you know, this is not something they could talk about
with their parents or with with even their friends. And
so by what I've learned is that by even just
having the conversation, you can end up accepting it for

(20:15):
yourself in yourself being like, yeah, this is who I am,
this is what I stand for. Interesting, I accept that
this is a part of me. This turns me in
you know. So it seems to me that karently you
are obviously the you are much more like just open,
not like not ashamed to talk about anything or really
address anything. So, Cam, is there anything about that like

(20:36):
with them being not only your your podcast partner but
also your mom, Like, is there anything that embarrass you
and it embarrasses you anymore or no? Uh, She's become
like probably the easiest person for me to talk to
about this stuff in general, which is pretty Yeah, it's
really good. Um. I I don't think that there are

(20:57):
I'm not doing too many crazy things that I wouldn't
feel people sharing with her or the internet. Uh. I
mean it seems like, I mean, it seems like you
guys have broken down the barrier of like a secret
or something that's too embarrassing to talk about online. Alex,
Why would it be detrimental to talk to your mom
or your dad about sex. I don't think it's detrimental.

(21:17):
It's more so to me, like I and I and
I'm totally open with my parents. Like they asked me something,
I would answer it immediately. It's more so I'm not
I don't share the spirit of Cam where I want
to hear about my own parents. And maybe it's because
my parents are are, you know, like I've They're all
I've known my whole life, Like my parents never went
off and we're single and dated around, like while I

(21:38):
was dating around. That might play into it, I guess
a little bit. But for me, I just I don't
want to hear about my my parents in the same
I know the human beings, but I'm sure and that
part doesn't gross me out. I just don't want to
hear more about it. Like I know my parents, That's
why I'm here, but I don't want to hear like
the same details that it seems like you guys are

(21:58):
open to talking about what you're trying to I don't
really talk a lot about my sexual relationship with my
boyfriend with cam or on the internet. Usually I'm telling
stories is things that have happened in my past when
I've dated before, or or things that have happened even
in in my marriage. I'm able to talk about easier
than what's currently going on right now because it's uncomfortable

(22:19):
because I have to respect his privacy as well. Just
to clarify, Also, I'm not a huge fan of hearing
he does give me a lot of products though, because
he's you know, he's he's can is the business guy.
What do you mean giving me products? Like? Oh? Like okay, alright, alright, Well,

(22:42):
good news is, guys, we are as much as we've
been talking about sex, this episode is actually about porn,
and so obviously both of you guys are sex positive,
as we've mentioned before, and as I'm sure the listener
can gather at this point. Um, but are you guys
pro porn in terms of watching? Yes, I'm pro. If it,

(23:05):
if it helps, if the person is into it, go
for it. For me personally, it doesn't I much prefer
like audio porn actually to visual porn. Interesting, can you
I genuinely because I don't know what is that? Give
a little plug to Dipsy Yeah, Dipsy Dipsey stories dot
com slash mom if you want to check out thirty
days for free. But basically, it's it's almost like you're

(23:27):
in an immersive theater experience, but it's only audio, and
you're you're basically dropped into someone's sex life in a
sexual it's a it's a it's a gateway. It's actually,
you know, it's a gate way. I don't know if
it's a gate that I'm really kind of interested in
walking out at this point, but if I do, I

(23:49):
will let you know. It is a little lighter because
the visuals of of real porn can sometimes you jarring interesting.
So that's very interesting to have you. Have you both
always felt that way about it? I guess more socaringly,
have you always been proporn when you were married? Did
you feel that in your relationship? Do you feel like
you know, I know some people think, especially in the

(24:10):
more conservative side, a lot of people will assume porn
as you know, as something that can really derail a relationship,
derail a marriage, or or any form of a relationship.
You know. I wrote down the pros and the cons.
This is amazing. Thank you for prepping. I've prepped UM.
First of all, just for your knowledge. I am not

(24:30):
a porn star. Great note, great thank you. That's a
great note. Thank you. However, I have a very close
friend of mine who is um a porn star. She's
been in it for over thirty five years. I believe
her name is Nina Hartley, so I've I've learned a
lot about the industry from her and UM. Also we've
interviewed at least a dozen porn stars over the years

(24:53):
on our podcast, so have male and female perspectives. Um.
Most of the porn stars are totally cool people. They're
is open about I played basketball at twenty four Fitness
with the Points, so I'm not gonna say who he is,
but I played basketball with him and I was like,
you're really cool. What do you do for work? And
he's like, I work in the film industry. And I
was like, oh cool, what movies have you been on?
And he's like you ever heard of this? And I
was like, oh, I didn't know that's what you meant. Awesome.

(25:16):
But he's the coolest guy. He's the coolest dude. They're
very cool, open people. I want to always constantly repeat
through this episode it is not I am absolutely for
doing you and doing what you love and having fun
making a job out of it, and if that's you,
that's you, that's incredible, but continue on. I would also
like to echo that way, as Nina says, it's entertainment,

(25:37):
not education. So one of the cons is that young kids,
especially like I remember my I don't want to say
who it was, but I know of young seventh and
eighth grade boys that we're learning about sex through porn.
It's not an educational tool. Knowing that you don't want
a kid to grow up thinking, well, this is how
you have sex. That's not that's not good sex, that's

(25:59):
not what women want. That's for damn sure. So there
are a lot of um reasons why you wouldn't want
to learn about sex through porn. It's not teaching you
you know that the other person is a human being,
um because generally porn is consumed by men. However, for
like I think it's great for couples. You know, it
can expand your horizons and fantasies. Sex is in in

(26:22):
good sex is in your brain. So if you're watching porn,
in it and and it stimulates you, and you guys
can talk about and fantasize and role play things that
you've seen in porn. It's it's extremely beneficial for your
sex life because if you want to try new things
after a while, especially if you're in a relationship for
a long time, it gets obviously it can get dull

(26:45):
or boring, and you want to spice it up watch
porn together. However, again, another negative is that you can
have one person get very into porn to the point
that they don't have had This happened with me with
dates where I've been with a guy that didn't want
to be with me. So you know, porn can be
for the lazy person too. For the lazy person, I

(27:07):
have close friends who have gotten divorced over porn addictions,
and so I know that the addiction, you know, just
like we've had in our other addiction episodes, can be
you know, addiction of any kind, including porn, can can
definitely damage people in damage relationships. Right, If you have
a compulsive personality and you start getting into porn, it

(27:30):
could lead you down a slippery slope. However, if if
you're watching it just for fun, or if you're watching
it to learn about your own body and it helps
you masturbate and and figure out how how your parts work,
it's a good thing, right. Anything that you're learning, to
me is good. If you're learning good things or bad
things about it, it's still good. So you can find

(27:52):
out what you like and what you don't like by
watching it as well. So cam Um, I have I
have a fact here. The average kid is being exposed
to porn between eight and eleven years old, which is
obviously to me at least way too early. That just
shows how accessible porn is to anybody with a smartphone
or a computer cam. What was your first exposure do
you remember it? How old were you? My first exposure was, Oh, man,

(28:17):
it was either a magazine that I found a camp
that like a friend had, or it was an awell profile.
It's the closest encounter I hit there was it? Oh
And then I remember I remember I had a very
close friend that had like a TV in his room,

(28:39):
which is kind of rare growing up, and so we
kind of watched porn together one night, and I was like,
this is very this is such a weird experience. It's
hard because you don't really know like when you're anywhere
from you know, early teens. It's massive like sensory overload
where you're just like I don't know what to do

(28:59):
at this point, Like you know what I mean, Like
I remember seeing for the first time I was where
I think I was actually in in sixth grade, so
I was like I was eleven years old. I was
twelve years old, and it was at one of my
homies birthday parties, and he had a computer down like
they had that basement and there's a computer in the basement,
and they were like, yo, check this out. And I
was like, check what out? And I was like, that's

(29:19):
what that looks like. And it was wild. And let
me tell you, when you're in like fifth sixth grade,
that's a that's a it's a catastrophic thing to experience
and you don't know you're like I was. I remember
I was in sixth grade. I was nervous about hugging girls.
And then the next thing you see is that I
don't think I slept the whole night after I watched

(29:42):
almost like nightmare about it. You remember the other story
about that. What's the other story? One of his friends, um,
he was watching porn and he must have fallen asleep,
and he had locked his door so that his parents
couldn't come in while he was masturbating, obviously to porn.
And he fall asleep and in a dead sleep, and
he's wearing headphones so they can't hear what he's watching

(30:04):
on TV. And they started knock on the door and
he's not open the door because he's sound asleep with
his headphones and he had passed out after he watched
the porn and they're knocking at the door and they're
knocking the door. I asked him, get up, get up,
get up, and they and they thought something happened to him.
They called the fire department and the fire department had
to break down the door. Him sleeping in front of
his computer with his headphones on. That is it's saying

(30:29):
that that. It's like, it's it's it's like a TV
show type of situation. Listen, We're gonna take a quick
break because I need to just kind of exhale. I
really need to just digest everything that's happened. We'll be back.
Al right, guys, we are back. This is alex Iono here,
and I'm I have that weird twelve year old grin
on my face when I'm hearing things I shouldn't hear.

(30:49):
And it's and it's because we're here talking about porn.
I have Cam and Karen Lee Potterer here. They are
the hosts of Sex Talk with My Mom. If you
haven't listened to it, it is a rush of everything,
So make sure you pick a good episode and go
and listen to one. Um. But we're talking about porn,
and I think we got the little like I think
I got my fifth grade sixth grade jitters out like

(31:10):
my little young teenage jitters out, So we can actually
have some real conversations. UM, well, let's let's talk about
the stigma of porn. UM. I have some very interesting
statistics that do not add up. According to a recent
Gallup poll, forty three percent of Americans say porn is
morally acceptable. But then in an article in Psychology Today,

(31:30):
they interviewed a thousand people in long term relationships and
seventy three percent of the women and percent of the
men reported Internet porn used in the last six months.
So that leads this. You know, whatever is forty three
will will meet the middle about eight percent. There's forty
of people who are who are really lying or who
are using porn and saying that it's morally unacceptable freaks.

(31:55):
What's what are your thoughts on that, Karenly or cam
People just don't want to admit it because of the
stigma attached to it instead of just owning up to it,
which is you know, and there are now more and
more women UM directors of porn who make porn more
towards women, UM, which I think is really important. Ericallus
does it, and it's it's important because women would definitely

(32:18):
benefit a lot of women who are more repressed and
can see, you know, the positive benefits of porn too.
So I just think that people are just, for whatever reason,
to embarrassed to say that they watch it, right, And
and that's what I kind of like, that's what I've
been enjoying a lot recently. And I don't want to
link porn to mental health, but mental health, like it
became a lot more common and no one was sweating, like,

(32:41):
oh I have anxiety or i've i've I get depressed.
Sometimes the more that you normalized it and you came
out about it and you're like, yeah, I do this
and this is cool. So I kind of want to
imagine a world where there is no social stigma around porn,
like it is just another thing. I mean, after all,
like what we think of as pornographic or have seen
has changed over centuries. I mean, I'm sure when porn

(33:02):
first was a thing, like I mean, there's a point
in time where women's ankles were were obscene to look at,
Like you, it was you are cursed if you look
at women's ankles. Now people are people are showing everything
and in different in regular TV and it's a business.
I mean, it's a whole thing about and that's why
I'm so interested to talk about it because it's not

(33:22):
something that I'm you know, necessarily the most savvy too.
That's why I wanted to talk about porn is because,
like you mentioned, now you have female directors. Now there's
full business models that surrounded and there's a true even
only fans, you know, like we look at only fans,
and that is another form in which people are profiting
off of being proud of their bodies and being confident
and saying, hey, I know some people don't want to

(33:44):
show this off to the rest of the world. It
doesn't bother me at all, and I can also make
money from it. Yeah. I think a lot of times
people are taught about porn and told that it's morally
corrupt through religion, and so when it I think when
it's taught through religion, it's not necessarily their own personal

(34:04):
value system speaking. So they might act differently based on
their own personal values even though they know morally quote
unquote they were told this is wrong, it doesn't add
up to how they want to act. So I think
that's why you get such a big you know, discrepancy
in the in those numbers, especially if we're using Like
when we're in this world where there's no stigma, let's

(34:25):
get rid of the porn addicts or the over compulsive users.
We're talking about just ethically created porn, where it's made
by two or more consenting adults and for the purpose
of distribution. If the stigma is taken away, what happens
with porn? Like what makes you? What is it? How
does it change the way we feel? I know, I'm
I'm stuttering all over the place, but but I'm very

(34:46):
I'm very uncomfortable still talking about I thought I added
out the little but I'm still here. It's just I
just never talked about it before. My mom. I'll buy
the way. Mom, if you've listened to this so far,
don't at all like or just listen to we're not
right now. It's not we don't have to. We don't
have I mean, like, like, she she would absolutely love

(35:07):
you currently. You're the sweetest woman. Cam. She'd probably laugh
so hard at you. She would I would not be
welcome home next time. So we're going to I'm just kidding.
My mom's incredible, you know, it's it's weird if your
mom watches um any Netflix, Like I watched Peaky Blinders, right,
there's scenes there that turned me on way more than porn.

(35:28):
You know, it's not just about like you know, the
graphic you know, penis vagina. There is some serious, like
sexy hot scenes there. You know, they have B DSM
and all this other stuff going on. It's way way
better than than just watching him straight up. You know,
here comes the fireman and he's going, don't bring his
pizza to the girl. You know that kind of stuff.

(35:48):
Have you guys seen that movie, the three D sixty
five days movie? Oh? I saw that? Oh yeah, Oh no,
I thought you're talking about three hundred Matt and they
actually forget that. Now, what the hell is that? I
don't even I don't three hundred run was like what
they had, really hat guys, and they had one we
don't got to worry about. I don't know. Are you
talking about the movie three hundred or is this like
some kind of weird porn spinoff that you're talking about.

(36:09):
I'm trying to figure out. You sound like one of
my sons. Okay, do you definitely like my son? Correct? All,
I just wanted to make sure to help me out here. Yes,
three and no sexual. I mean, guess there was like
a couple of scenes. Well, it's like, fifty shades are great,
fifty shades are great normalized women, Like my friend was
on the airplane, she's hiding a book, she's reading it.

(36:31):
And then the movies. But guys were doing it just
because they wanted a wire women getting so turned down
by the you know, the the whole b D S
M like theme that was in fifty Shades a gray right,
So that was like the worst written book, by the way,
it was so stupid. I read, of course, all all
the volumes. I'm yet to read and or watch. But
I do know that there is still a stigma even
about that stuff. Why do you guys think that there's

(36:53):
such a stigma about porn consumption in the United States,
even though it is literally it's on net like you said,
it's on Netflix, it's in books, it's that magazines, it's everywhere.
Why do you think there's still such a big stigma. Oh,
I think it's there's a stigma against sex, Like even
the conversation around even talking about sex is taboo, like
it makes you bashful, right, the closer closer you get

(37:16):
to it. Watching people do this, of course it's going
to be, you know, a taboo situation. It's very interesting.
I mean, I guess what would you what was your advice? Then?
So for somebody like me, let's say, you know, you
raise super fearful, honestly of porn and it's like magical,
mystical dark ways. I would it's that same thought, like

(37:36):
a lot of us are raised up that like if
you watch porn one time, you could your whole life
is like porn is equivalent to meth, right, or like
if you do this, it is like you will never
turn back. It's absolutely what would you what's your advice?
Karen Lye or even cam to somebody who like me,
was raised thinking porn is the worst thing in the world,
And what would you tell us to kind of inform

(37:57):
us why it's not as scary as we were led
to believe. I would say that you start with erotica
just reading about sex scenes, are watching some you know,
light light porn scenes on something like Peaky Blinders. You're
going to get excited by it, and it's a good excitement.
Sex is good, Sex feels good, and it's meant to
be good, So why not enhance your sex life. It's

(38:17):
like guys saying, oh, I don't want my girl phone
using a vibrator because that means I'm not good enough. No,
it's going to enhance your sex life to use a vibrator.
Anything that you can hance your sex life would be
a good thing. As long as it's too consenting adults
and you're not doing anything dangerous or harmful and it's
not underage, why not make it better trying different things? Interesting? Yeah,

(38:40):
I think so is the question like why should know? Like,
what would you say to someone like, like, so I
came in here, I've obviously I'm very lucky that I've
brought in my horizons in terms of just acknowledging that
everything that I was raised to believe may not necessarily
be clear view of what something is or is not.
What would you say to somebody who's me in being

(39:00):
like no, Like, porn is the worst thing in the world.
It's terrible. You can't it'll ruin your relationship, It'll it'll
tear you apart. I think everything is. My mom says
everything in moderation, like if it floats your boat, if
you're excited about it and you're like craving it. See
how it goes. And if it starts getting overwhelmed and
you can't get and you can't stop watching porn, then

(39:22):
maybe just you know, put the brakes at it. But
for most people, you don't just develop addictions like instantaneously,
like it's repeated, it's you know. And I also similarly,
I think that if you should do things that bring
you pleasure, if it brings you pleasure, and watch people
have sex, watch people sex, why not. You're gonna die

(39:44):
one day, you might as well. Uh, that's very gripping
argument right there. You're gonna die one day, so why
not watch porn? Now that's um okay. So recently, guys,
on an episode of your podcast, you talked about fantasies
versus as realities because, like you mentioned, it is entertainment,
not education. But I know that a lot of like

(40:06):
I know, there was this like joke that was like
a lot of guys they're like, oh, yeah, I want
to do all of these things that I saw on
these videos, when in reality, it's not what women want,
it's not necessarily what humans want done to them. So
what amount of what you see in these videos? Or
these you know, these stories or these pictures of erotica. Uh,
is to bring into your own relationships. Um, in real life.

(40:29):
I think it's something that has to be decided between
you and your partner, you know, Like, yeah, it varies.
It's the same with like infidelity. Like some people are like,
you can't kiss anyone else, and if that's the contract
you have, then that's the contract you have. There's no
like absolute you know. So for some people, watching porn
in a relationship is kind of breaking that infidelity contract

(40:51):
from other people having played parties and going to play
parties and you know, if you're having sex in the
same bed, it's okay, but if you go in at
for room, it's not okay. So it completely varies a
couple of couple, I think I don't know what a
play party is, and I'm very scared you it sounds
it sounds like something you should only do as a child. Um.

(41:12):
But unfortunately adults got ahold of it and turned it
to terrible nous and we didn't even mention camming cam girls.
I don't know, okay, okay, I do know what that is.
That's an only fans thing. By the way, Oh, this
is a total side note because I now have a
question for you currently that being said, what Cam said,
where it is it is customizable to your own relationship.

(41:32):
How do you address those types of things in a relationship?
How do you Because I I damn sure no that
you shouldn't just go for it. I think going for
it is probably the worst advice you can give to
somebody who's like, I want to try this. I saw
this in a video. I want to try it, and
going for it is probably not the best advice. So
what is your advice and somebody discussing it? I mean

(41:52):
a lot of people are even scared to bringing the
topic up because another person might be insulted or feel,
you know, they're not good enough because you're again because
you're trying to enhance something. So I always say, like,
you know, talk everything has to be communicated, right, So
communicate about well. I saw this on this show. I
saw this happening on Peaky Blinders. I saw this. I

(42:16):
love this show Blinders. Don't you care this show? Man?
It's hot? Um Anyway, in order for me to like something,
it's got to hear like dysfunctional Family, it's got to
have a lot of sex. And violence. Then I love it,
so I can give you. I can give you my restume,
my TV show recommendations later. But you know, with anything,

(42:39):
whether it's being like, do you want to smoke weed together?
Or do you want to do you know, do something
crazy together? Do you want to do mushrooms together? Do
you do you wanna, like Cam said, try you know
a threesome? You know, these are delicate subjects that you
want to bring up very carefully, but in a way
respectfully not necessary. Don't bring it up while you're in
the middle of sex. Do you guys think that there's

(43:00):
any kink er fantasy that is too weird? Nothing is
nothing is too weird, Nothing is too weird. But we've
heard quite a few different things. Now I have to
Now I go and listen to sex talk with my mom,
and you will find all those weird things. Oh man,
we are going to take a break. I think we

(43:20):
need I need another break real quick. Um, Before we
take our break, how do we gauge whether our porn
usage is healthy or not? Again, not from a moral perspective,
but more in the balance of life. You've both mentioned
everything in moderation. How do you gauge whether porn. The
amount of porn that you consume is healthy or not. Honestly,
it's the same thing as how you engage if you

(43:41):
are drinking too much, or smoking too much, or gambling
too much. If it affects your life, it's starting to
interfere with your life. It's if it's all you think
about instead of being present with things that are going
on with your life. It's it's too much, you know.
It's it's a question of you know, is this a
compulsion or is it just something I enjoy doing? So
it's it's not something like I could say, well, if

(44:01):
you watch more than three porns of weeks, or you're addicted.
I don't think it works that way. I would I
would also like to add like I don't know if
this should apply to everyone, but something for me, When
to determine whether I'm addicted to something or doing something
out of compulsion of a real vice, I like to
see what's driving it, Like if if I'm is it

(44:24):
I'm sitting down to watch porn because I want to
experience pleasure right now and I'm in a good mood
and this is gonna be fun right now, or is
it I'm really depressed. I just need an escape. I
need to have something to distract me, and that's why
I'm going to porn. And if it's more of the latter,
I'd say, then you might be heading in the direction
of using something as an addictive measure. Interesting, I am interested.

(44:50):
I need to go run around the block just to
get this bashfulness out of my body. I'm just I
I'm starting to think that the rosenus of my cheeks
is never going to go away. I am so I'm blushing,
and I don't know what I'm blushing about. So we're
gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
we're gonna talk about what do we do now? We'll

(45:11):
be right back, all right. I just finished running around
the block. I'm sweating profusely. My and and I didn't
even run, actually just walk. I didn't even leave the house.
I lied. You guys can see this. It's a visual recording.
I didn't run. I'm sweating though as if I did,
because I feel like I'm having By the way, I
never had to talk with my parents. I forgot to
mention that never at the talk, and now now, in

(45:34):
a weird way, you and your son are my mother
and father. I don't want to get into the schematics
of that. That's kind of my father. Okay, that's an
interesting dynamic, and we would have to sit and like
with a white board and draw out how that would
be possible. UM. I have a couple of questions now
that kind of just talk about nowadays. You know, we've
kind of gone into what porns meant through the years

(45:56):
and and your guys history. But I want to talk
about now because I know that there's a lot of
listeners who are just like me, who are super uncomfortable
talking about it. I know that there's a lot a
lot of listeners who might need some advice on how
to level themselves out, and some people who just need
to feel heard and seen and be like, Okay, cool,
I'm I'm normal. This is what I'm going through. Uh.

(46:16):
My first question is nudes. It's a very common thing
for my generation. People send them, people receive them, people
ask for them, people don't ask for them, and they
just get them. And that's probably not something that you
should do if you're a human being. UM, what are
your thoughts on on nudes cam and currently where do
they fall in the porn umbrella? Can I start by saying,

(46:38):
I do not like unsolicited dick pics nobody. By the way,
if you have a penis, don't send it to people
without the masking. I think that's a pretty simple rule.
I think I think you pretty simply just don't do it. Yeah,
I've had some issues with that. I've never had issues
with that until I started this podcast, because now my

(47:00):
mom and I share an Instagram account, and now one
gets a lot of unsolicited dick picks, so many dick picks,
and some of them are like they're masturbating in there.
They're doing it looks painful almost sometimes and I want
to right back, you're doing it's wrong. You should be.
You need to listen to this certain episode that to

(47:21):
do it right. Frequently will send them back his own picks. Interesting.
On only one time we were we were requested a pick.
We just received a text saying, hey, send me a pick.
So I sent to a pick of my uh ingrown
hair that's on my leg that was getting inflamed. That's
very nice. I'm sure that that person that's exactly what

(47:43):
they meant when they say said a pick. I know
exactly what they meant. I actually it was me I
want to come out and say I was me a
spare pick from my side account, and what I was
hoping you would send me as a picture of your
ingrown hair on your thigh. Thank you for that. Camp.
So back to back to the question though regular nudes.
You're talking either relationship news or you get a little
flirty on Snapchat or on you know, on whatever app

(48:06):
you're on. What are your thoughts on that? Where do
they fall? Is it porn? Is it a different thing?
What's going on? You're not gonna believe this, but I
actually think it's not a good idea to set nudes.
I am surprised. What is What is your reasoning? Because
you don't ever know how you're gonna end up breaking up,
that's the part. And I know of couples that the

(48:27):
guy was really angry because he found out his girlfriend
was cheating, so he took all the nudes and he
put them all throughout Facebook, even though Facebook took it down.
But but you can get vengeful people out there that
take so I'm a little concerned about that. If you're
gonna do it, cut the head off. No head, that's
a great advice. No head, no face in the pictures.

(48:47):
That's why they say no face, no case like it.
I think they talked about robberies. I think that's I
think it's from a song where they're they're talking about
robbing somebody or something like that. But we'll consider it
in this in this episode as well. Yeah. Interesting, interesting.
I knew of a situation where this group of people
are pulling a train, as they call it, where you know,

(49:10):
there's a girl and she's having sex with a lot
of different guys and someone to say pulling a train
to two twenty year old men. First, well, I think
it's called running train. Okay, you get the idea of
what it's talking. I don't know, but I'm running away
like a runaway train. At the day it was pulling
a train. What can I say? It was not kind

(49:30):
of running a train. The concept of pulling in this scenario,
it seems hurtful and it seems, well, it's what it
was in the day. Catherine, go look it up on
Urban Dictionary. Look that up. You will not like what
you find. Well, what my point is that everyone's head
was cut off except this one guy and his girlfriend

(49:52):
saw the pictures. She's like one ballistic because she sees
the only head and then it's her boyfriend. Well, I
think he deserved it at that point. I think he
deserved it at that point in his head being there
because he was. If they had in their rule book,
like you said, Camp, if they discussed that that you
cannot do that, then I think that I think that
he deserved that one. UM. But I that's a very
interesting rule, and I agree with it. I do not

(50:15):
send nude pictures, but I do say if you are
going to, don't. If you have tattoos that are specific,
if you have a face that is specific, which everybody does,
any specific scars, don't do it. I agree. Unwise, unwise, unwise. Okay,
well let's talk about something else now. UM. I just
wanted to see where you guys thoughts were on that. UM.

(50:37):
But now I want to get into something that I
think is actually very very important, because I want to
talk about ethical porn versus unethical porn, which by that
I mean porn that is legally made, It respects the
performers rights, it follows good working conditions, shows both fantasy
and real world sex, and it celebrates sexual diversity. There are,
of course, issues in the porn industry. Especially in amateur
porn um that are that includes sex, trafficking, exploitation of performers.

(51:01):
There's plenty of places, unfortunately to find both. Um more places, fortunately,
where you can find consensual, ethical porn where everybody involved
is there by choice and happy with the situation. How
can you, guys, if you have any advice, how do
we tell if porn is ethical? First of all, how

(51:21):
you're how you're consuming it? So are you getting it
from Red Tube or like one of these massive porn
conglomerates that basically strips porn videos from paid sites and
provides it to people for free. So if you're if
you're getting it that way, it might suggest that you're

(51:42):
not doing something ethically in just even consuming it. Oh
So there you're saying that there's an ethical way to
consume porn. Yes, not only is there an ethical genre
of porn and in style of creating it, but consuming
is key. So are you pro if you watch porn
you should pay for it? Yes, interest, even though my
mom is that doesn't practice that necessary? Car What do

(52:06):
you have to say for yourself at this point? Okay,
So we were on another podcast called Girls on Porn
I Believe and I was devastated to learn that. I say,
I like this. I don't like the real, slick, well
made porn. I like just amateur looking like like I
like casting couch. Okay, I'm gonna fess up. I like that.
It's the same damn the script every time the producer

(52:29):
tells the girls that, you know, he's going to get
them a job working in the industry, and then they
have sex. I like that. Okay, I like the script.
I like how it goes. I like a little bit
of deception, even though you know that they know they're
being recorded and they're over eighteen. But now the girls
on porn said that is unethical, and they told me
that this was not a good thing. So now I'm

(52:51):
it could be unethical. So now I'm feeling guilty if
I watch it. So I don't know, I'm I'm all
messed up about that whole thing. I think, Alex, how
you kind of described with ethical porners at the beginning
of this conversation, which is like, you know, are people
getting paid fairly? Is there is pro diversity? Is it? Uh?
Is it really focused on both people's pleasure even B

(53:12):
D S M. Even though it might seem like there's
pain involved. Both people need to be describing pleasure from it, right,
and that's that's the key. Most of this is just
male oriented, made by males for male consumption, and it
really tends to leave out women's pleasure if it's heterosexual
porn and so huge, that's a huge component to this.

(53:32):
You said it all cam, that's perfect. So there's there's
as a kind of an equal to side note of that. Um,
there's a movement happening to educate people that sex work
is work and helping sex workers stay safe and healthy
both mentally and physically. Um, what would you say to
somebody who doesn't really understand why that's so important or
even doesn't understand the concept of uh normalizing and accepting

(53:56):
that sex work is an absolutely viable option for for
a profession see all this profession ever, and I'd say
that today there because the stigma around sex is being removed,
we can kind of pull back the curtaincy, Oh, making
porn is not that far off from making it like

(54:17):
an intense HBO show, you know, And why are you like,
what is there to hide? If this person wants to
be doing this with their body, let them do this
with their body, and if they're gonna do it, make
sure it's done safely. Don't let this be something where
you know they're they're abused or they're uh mistreated or
not paid well for this. I mean massages are legal, right,

(54:39):
So what is the is the difference the happy ending part,
I mean in the manipulation of genitals? I mean people
get massages, So why shouldn't people pay to get more
than a massage? Hey, happy ending? What what's the harm
you mentioned earlier in this podcast currently that you have
some big advice for me, and I want to close
out this podcast episode just dissecting that advice that you

(55:02):
have for me, and I want to hear it Cam
has to say about it. I want to just say
what I think about it and let's just have it
all out advice party. Okay, So I'll start by saying
you've been taught that you know there's a lot of
negativity surrounding sex, right right, Well, not as much, not
as much negativity, but more so that it is it

(55:23):
is more of a special thing. It's a sacred thing
between between a husband and a wife in that capacity.
You're not a virgin, are you. I'm not a virgin
we've already had. My very first episode was like breaking
the news to anybody who I thought I knew it.
I was just teasing. Um, you know, I just think
like I said before, that I agree and everything in

(55:44):
moderation is good. But the most important thing is that
sex is so complicated sometimes, and it's just why why
treated that? Like? Why can't it just be fun? Sex
is a fun activity. We're one of the only species
that has sex just for fun. Most animals just have
it for procreation, but we have it for fun along
with I think the penguins or someone like that. I

(56:05):
know they stayed together forever. I forgot swan. Somebody has
sex for fun. Maybe, Oh I know what's that called
the monkey? The bonobos? They have sex for fun. But anyway,
my advice to you is have sex like a banoba. No,
I'm just kidding, um, just just just have fun. I mean,
it's why are why do you think older women are

(56:27):
so desired by younger men? Hence my book Games Day
Cougars because older women are teaching younger men just lighten
up about sex. They'd be adventuresome, and they're they're making
it so that it's not a bad thing. But it's
a it's a good thing, and it's it's exciting, and
it's fun, and it's it uses creativity and it makes

(56:47):
it releases a lot of great hormones, like oxytocin is released.
All these other seratoninum and everything else are elevated, and
all these things are making you happier, more comfortable person.
So why is it bad if it makes you happy?
It can't be. I'm singing it to the professional here.

(57:09):
That's a very strong that's a very strong first piece
of advice. I really like that. I really like that,
and I'm going to take that to heart genuinely. Do
you have any other advice for me? Me or Cam,
either of you. I just enjoy listening to you. Guys.
Can I weigh in on this? Because so my mother
is obviously very pro sex, and I agree with her

(57:30):
to a certain extent. Like, you know, have sex. It's fun,
it's it's very pleasurable. However, it also needs to be
said that sex is a very sacred thing because it
could be done in a very painful way for both
or however many parties are involved. So when I was
getting when I was getting into sex, when I was

(57:52):
first having sex. They don't really teach you like okay,
they teach you the basics like make sure to use
a condom, uh know, have the safe sex talked um,
you know, see about birth control, but they do not
teach you about the emotional ramifications that also come with it. So,
depending on who you're having sex with, they might share

(58:14):
a very different belief system when it comes to sex.
So when someone said, when you're having sex to someone,
they you might be thinking it's a fun time, very casual,
and for the other person it might be like this
big event for them because it is such an intimate
personal experience, and so you might be by having this
with them without having that conversation first, you might be

(58:36):
creating a situation where one or both of you are
going to experience extreme pain down the line. So I
actually do think it is a sacred experience because it
is personally a little bit about this. This is a
constant conflict between us. It's some but I don't think
it's not sacred. But it doesn't have to be that
way if both if both people think of it as

(58:57):
a casual thing. So it seems it seems to me
that it is more about having that conversation beforehand, making
your your expectations or your view of the your intentions
of the situation. Thank you currently very clear so that
it doesn't involve you know, it doesn't involve differing feelings
where one person says sionara and the other person is heartbroken.

(59:19):
But that being said, even when you have the conversation,
one of them could have more feelings to the other.
It could happen, and I think that that isn't what
Camp's problem is. He's fearful of that happening. You don't
need to. I don't know if it's necessarily fearful. I
don't think it's a fearful thing. It's it's more that
he's he's he's very, very sensitive to what other people
may have intended emotionally for the situation. Pisces to no,

(59:43):
I'm an Aquarius. Oh like Oh, I have no by
the way, no idea what any of that means. I
know that I know that I was born in February sixteenth,
and that's what that means for me. Well, the aquarians
are it's an air sign. This is a good this
is a good way to end it. Do aquarians mean
in this? What is this interesting? Interesting is that they care.

(01:00:06):
Acquariance care more about like the creating greater good than
they may in terms of their own little intimate relationships. Interesting,
you love to talk. I'm a libra. I love to talk,
and I have queer as a queer as also in
my chart, So I'm very airy. In case you guys
didn't realize it, you definitely air it all out there
for us. You don't all out You're you're you're ready.

(01:00:28):
I'm going to get you there that that's we're gonna
We're gonna work on Alex for this one. Oh gosh, well,
I would be. I would love to be a guest
on your podcast when it comes to if you want
to have a guest who has no knowledge about the
topics at hand, we would love it. Are you kidding me?
We've had people with a lot less uh knowledge than you.
Trust me, You're okay, Well, you're a sneaky freak. We

(01:00:49):
call our fans, say that's our family. You can get
that embarrassed and honored. I'm honored and embarrassed. We're gonna
freak sneaky, freaking merch. Karen Lye Kim, thank you so
much for coming on the show. It guys, if you
want to hear more of this, make sure you go

(01:01:09):
and check out their podcast. It is it's it's a
good time and I've had a great time talking with
you guys. So thank you for you know, educating me,
encouraging me, um and testing my limits, because you guys
definitely did that today. So makes you, guys go and
listen to sex Talk with my Mom. Actually, I'm not
going to say that this is our time for our

(01:01:30):
shameless self promo at the end of every show. I
like giving you some time to just go all out
and have at it. So um, if you guys want
to take it away, wait, can I just say quickly
like we've We've done a ton of interviews on other podcasts,
and this is by far the most professional and fun
interview I think we've ever done. Thank you. So I

(01:01:50):
want to thank you for having thank you for having
appreciate it. You are welcome back any time you want,
especially with the stories that you have. We just ran out.
We just spilled them all out here and there's no
more to come. I love it, all right, We'll give
me give me some shameless promo. If you want those
sneaky stories, just check out sex Talk with my Mom.

(01:02:10):
Wherever you're listening to this podcast, you can follow us
on Instagram at sex Talk with my Mom, on Twitter
at sex Talk Podcasts. And we have a patron page
if you want to support this mission of opening that
conversation around sex patreon dot com slash sex Talk with
my Mom. And if you want to see some really
fun videos, go to my TikTok at Karen Poder. I

(01:02:32):
love that. Yes, I'm going to follow you TikTok right now.
I have I have um a couple of books, Cougar's
Guide to Getting your Ass back out there and Fuck
games Day Cougars. It's f star c K Fuck games
Day Cougars. They bought on Amazon, and I think that
you guys will enjoy it. It's specially you, Alex. I'm
gonna I'm ordering them right now. I need to figure

(01:02:54):
I need to figure this very soon. Oh lord, my
girlfriend is not happy at that. Common Well, guys, I
really appreciate you. You know you can find me at
alex Iono on all things. Apparently I am a sneaky freak.
So we're going to figure a little bit more about
that later. You for listening to this podcast and then
just enjoying this time. Make sure you give us a rating. Please,

(01:03:15):
that is how we grow. I'm so excited for you
to get this podcast and uh and we'll talk to
you next time. Please. We really want you to get
the help you need, So if you need help, please
seek independent advice from a competent healthcare or mental health professional.
The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely

(01:03:36):
those of the podcast author or individuals participating in the podcast,
and do not represent the opinions of I heart Media
or its employees. This podcast should not be used as
medical advice, mental health advice, counseling, or therapy. Listening to
the podcast does not established dr patient relationship with hosts
or guests of alex Iona Let's Get Into It or
I Heart Media. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy
of any statements or opinions made on this podcast. Well,

(01:03:58):
if that's a doozy.