Mindfulness & Being Present with Vanessa Bennett + Catherine Law

How can you stay present in a world designed for distraction? Associate Psychotherapist and Mindfulness Coach Vanessa Bennett tells us all about why showing up and being present in your own life can help you improve in almost any area, how to stay in the moment, and why it matters. Also joining us is Let's Get Into It podcast producer Catherine Law to dish about the hurdles and benefits of life with ADHD, hyperfocus and getting into flow, as well as leaning into your weaknesses and turning them into strengths. This is one episode designed to change your daily life, and help you love your life more fully.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Alex, and I have a pretty hard
time being present. Ah No, be all right, no alright, no,
be alright forever, No be all right, lit alright, no,
be al right. Ever, ever since I started working for me,

(00:25):
it was at fifteen years old, being here in California,
I've always focused so much on what's next, you know, like, oh,
I gotta do this tomorrow, or I have to do
this next week, or man, this big project is due
that day. And I think that's something that's pretty common
with all of us. Uh. And I actually remember seeing
an Instagram post and I thought it was not necessarily
the full truth, but something that I thought was interesting. Um.

(00:46):
And it was like an old ancient monk saying that said,
if if you're anxious, you're worried about the future. If
you're depressed, you're worried about the past. But if you're
neither of those, then you are present. You are living
in the now. And I really like that end. As
somebody who deals with their own mental health, I don't
think that covers the full spectrum of it all. But
I read that and I realized that's totally me, you know,

(01:08):
as somebody who my therapist has diagnosed me with anticipatory anxiety. UM,
I very much so have a very hard time living present,
being present. UM. I can stay focused on a task
at hand, but I always have in my mind somewhere
this worry of what's coming next, or a kind of like, uh,

(01:30):
I forgot I have to do this next, or something
that's even kind of the kid in class the last
day of school before summer break where I'm like, come on,
come on, come on, come on, I need this to happen,
to need this to happen. And I've realized that that's
also kind of ailed me in the sense of I
don't really get to enjoy what's going on right there
in front of me. Since my you know, fifteen year

(01:51):
old start of working, you know, I've gotten into meditation.
Every once in a while, I downloaded different apps from
um Headspace to Calm to all of those different types
of apps. I've obviously worked with a therapist. I've done yoga.
My girlfriend got me into yoga, and so all of
those things have definitely helped. But I do still think
to this day that I have issues staying present and

(02:12):
staying focused, enjoying the highs of a certain moment, to
its fullest, you know, potential, and also working through the lows,
the moments um that I'm that I'm dealing with at
the time. And I started realizing as I was becoming
more honest, whether it's through my album, whether it's through
talking about you know, therapy, whether it's this podcast, that

(02:33):
a lot of people have that issue, that a lot
of people are stressed about what's coming next, or are
thinking about the past so much, or you know, I
have a lot of friends who have a d D
and a d h D and have just problems focusing
in general. And that's what really got me thinking, if
we're not present mentally, then where are we? No? What's up, y'all?

(02:54):
Welcome back to let's get into it. We are talking
about just being and no better person to be president
than somebody who has pretty much everything that that umbrella
covers under the sun. This lady is an associate psychotherapist,
a mindfulness coach, a yoga and meditation teacher, and in

(03:15):
addition to that, she's the co host of the Cheaper
Than Therapy podcast. My first guest Vanessa Bennett. How are you, Vanessa?
I'm great? How are you, Alex? I'm so happy that
you're here, and and I'm excited you You pretty much
like I said, you cover every topic of mindfulness and
being present that there is. So I'm excited to ask
you a lot of questions. Oh yeah, I'm excited to

(03:36):
answer what I can you. As my other guest, you
already know her. This is the crazy thing. You already
know her, but you don't know you know her. She
is the Let's get into It producer Catherine Law. She's
also a comedy writer, dog mom to one of my
favorite just the Cutest pug. Her name is Mimsy. If
you listen closely to some episodes, you might even hear
her snoring in the background. She's also the co host

(03:58):
of the podcast Driving to Disneyland Catherine Law. Katherine, how
are you hi. I'm doing great. It's a beautiful day today,
so just happy as can be. I am so happy
that you're here. You're here for every podcast. I'm just
excited that people get to hear you. Um, there's this
funny joke that we have. I have to call you
out that in between each segment. As soon as we finish,

(04:20):
we call it the Katherine Yea because she shaped you.
I mean, we're recording now, so I'm gonna do my
best impression of it. This is as soon as we finish,
as soon as we take a break. She was like this, yea,
she does. She does the a S L movement that
is that means applause and uh and and it's amazing.
So Catherine has been an incredible and extremely vital part

(04:41):
of this podcast, and I'm so excited to have you
as a guest. Oh, I just feel so good about it.
I'm just so happy. Well, listen, we're talking about being mindful,
being present, and we have some really cool topics. First, Vanessa,
you and I are gonna be talking about there's no
time like the present. We're gonna take a break. Then
we're gonna get to a conversation of me and Catherine

(05:02):
talking about mindfulness and distraction. We're gonna take a break,
and then lastly, the three of us are going to
have an all out open conversation about next level mindfulness.
We have some awesome topics, but before we get into them,
I have a question that I ask every single one
of my guests, and that question is what are you
doing to improve yourself? This week? Um, We've had answers

(05:25):
all over the board, from fitness things, people just giving
themselves a break, people trying a new hobby, getting at
a new skill. I'll give you both some time to think,
and I'll go first. This week I decided that I
wanted to help other people as much as I can. UM.
For me, by growing up, it's always been a big
deal to me, Like my father always said to you know,

(05:46):
to serve others, help others, be a helping hand as
much as you possibly can. And with quarantine, I've kind
of slowed back on that because helping other people usually
means being with other people, and being with other people
is a no no for me at this point in
my life. UM, So I've actually this week decided, you
know what, I can still wear a mask and help
other people. I can still help other people in other ways.

(06:08):
And so, for instance, I help my girlfriend move a
couch into her apartment this week, um I've gone shopping
for groceries for some other people who can't do it.
And it's really honestly um for me in my brain,
it helps me feel a lot better about life, and
and I feel like by doing a good thing, I
can hopefully inspire other people to do good things, and
and that That's what I've been doing this week to

(06:28):
improve my life. Yeah, Catherine, you have an answer for me.
You're also a vet. You hear this every time a
nurse answer. I know. I actually like thought to myself
last night, I was like, what am I doing to
but um? And this actually feeds directly into what we're
gonna be talking about today. Um. One thing that I've
been doing for myself is giving myself a goal for

(06:53):
like what time I want to be done with obligations
during the day. And you know, we're going to talk
a bit about distraction and all that good stuff. But
for me, knowing what I need to be done is
helping me to get started earlier, because what sometimes happens
with me is like, Okay, I know I have to

(07:14):
do X, Y and Z during the day, and I
can tend to like put that off, especially with coronavirus stuff.
I'm like, well, I just have to read a couple
of articles and then I just have to you know,
I just have to educate myself and everything else that's
going on. So the start time gets pushed later and
later or later and I finished what I have to
get finished. But it means I'm working super late, and

(07:35):
then I'm sort of stressed about it all the morning
and I don't really ever get that relaxation time in
the evening. So I'm giving myself like an end point
every day where like this is my goal, and then
even if I will pass it by like an half
hour or an hour, it's still like relatively what I
want to be done. So then I have a relaxed evening. Yeah,
I love that. I love that. All right, you got

(07:55):
something for us, Vanessa, I do well. First off, I
want to say that I was thinking, Alex when you
were sharing yours, that that actually is something that's a
great practice um in when we're working on I don't
want to use the word treat, but treating depression is
actually being in service to others. So it's actually been
shown that a way to be present, um and pull
yourself out of a depressive space is actually to help

(08:17):
other people, um, who are less fortunate than you. So
look at you. I didn't even realize there we go, Hey,
maybe that's why I've been happier this right exactly? Um,
I think for me, uh, and I'll say it's this
week because it's been top of mind. But it is
something that I try really hard to keep bringing back
up is um asking for what I need? Yeah. So, Uh,

(08:37):
you know, one of the things that I've done a
lot of my own personal work on and that I
actually teach a bunch of classes around is codependency. And
one of the hallmarks of codependency is not being able
to speak up and ask for what you need, um
let alone actually sometimes be able to know what it
is that your needs and wants are. Uh. So I've
done a lot of work around it, and I think
for me, now I know what my needs and wants are,

(08:58):
have gotten to that point, and now it's actually just
verbalizing it and speaking up for myself. Wow. I love that.
I love that. What a great way all three of us,
What a great way to segue straight into this topic.
So Catherine, as you know, we'll see you in a bit.
Vanessa's time for us to go one on one, and
we're talking about no time like the present. As I
mentioned before, psychotherapist, mindfulness coach, you teach yoga, you teach meditation,

(09:22):
So we're just going to dive straight into it. We
want to talk about being present and uh, this thing
that often happens where our bodies are in one place,
but our minds are somewhere completely maybe on the other
side of the world. Why is it so hard for
people to exist in the present? Well, I think, first
and foremost, we tend to overlook the fact that some
of this is actually biological. Some of it's actually um

(09:45):
a survival mechanism. A lot of our anxiety, for example,
is actually triggered by our brain's way of thinking it
needs to keep us safe. So we have what we
call in therapy and negativity by us. That's the way
that our brain works, And so we tend to be
Why are to be looking out for danger at all times? Right?
And so you can imagine a million years ago that
might have looked like, is there a tiger in the bushes,

(10:07):
It's going to jump out and eat me? Right, But
our brains don't evolve that quickly, and so now here
we are still scanning our environment for constant threats and
constant danger and always being ten steps ahead looking out
for this might happen, This could happen, And yet we
don't have tigers in the bushes jumping out to eat
us anymore. And so a lot of people don't realize
that you're working against biology. I don't say that to like,

(10:29):
you know, say it's impossible. I just say that almost
rather to give you compassion for the fact that it's
hard and it's hard for reason. Okay, okay, So that
being said, mindfulness it's a word that you know, you're
mindfulness coach. What does that mean in in contrast to
this biological kind of battle that we're already battling. What
is mindfulness and why is that kind of the term

(10:51):
that we've we've coined for being present? Right? So the
best definition of mindfulness is um one that John cabots
In It really came up with. He's one of the
leaders in the mindfulness field. Uh, And he says mindfulness
is being aware of the present moment as what's going
on right now at any given moment, and doing it

(11:11):
without judgment. So it's not just enough to be aware
and present with what's happening now, whether that's physically what's
happening around you, whether that's the body sensations, whether that's
the emotions, whether that's the thoughts, but it's also doing
it without judgment. Oh okay, Okay. We were talking Catherine
and I before, and we did I like to do
a bit of research on on our guests that we have.

(11:33):
And I saw you recently posted this this quote, dealing
with the dropped shoe is less paralyzing apparently than waiting
for the shoe to drop, um. And I was thinking
of that as you were explaining the biological sense of
back in the day, they were worried you had to
look over your shoulder because there could be an absolute
destruction of your whole life right behind you. Kind Of

(11:55):
when I read it, that's what I kind of picked
up on, is like, Yeah, now in today's world, we've
worried so much. It's like, oh my gosh, what if
I spilled that glass of water? What if I spill
that glass of water? And it's often a bigger mess
than cleaning up a spilled glass of water itself. Why
do you think that is? And and what are your
thoughts on that old thing? Well, and I think that
actually speaks to what you were saying earlier about anticipatory anxiety, right.

(12:17):
And that quote is actually by Glenn and Doyle from
her new book Untamed, which is phenomenal if you haven't
read it. Um. And she talks about how for many
of us, we work ourselves so much up, Like you
were saying, what the glass of water that might get
spilled that if I'm so worried that I'm going to
spill this glass of water, I'm never going to actually
drink the glass of water right and enjoy how amazingly

(12:38):
refreshing that glass of water could actually be, right, because
I'm terrified I'm going to spill it. And so if
you think about it in that way, it's like, how
many wonderful, amazing, scary, life giving, life affirming opportunities and
experiences are we missing out on because we're so terrified
of what could possibly happen that we don't even ever
allow ourselves to experience those things. Okay, And I think

(13:01):
the thing that's crazy to me is the one connection
that I find, at least through all mental health issues,
through all mental illnesses, is the lack of being present.
You know, like I had said in that quote that said,
you know, if if you're depressed, you're often living in
the past, if you're anxious, you're often living in the future.
But regardless, if you are dealing with any form of

(13:22):
mental health issues, you know, one of the immediate side
effects of that is the lack of being present. And
that's in all things, that's it. That's not only in
like the bad times, that's in the good times. You know.
I remember my first panic attack ever. I had at
Disney World with my family on a paid vacation with
a Disney guide and like we were doing like it

(13:43):
was an absolute dream vacation, and I had one of
my worst panic attacks. And I think back on that
a lot, especially as we're talking about being present and
I was so not there? Why is it hard to
stay present? Like? How how is it that hard even
in the good times? Why is it? Why is it
hard to escape even when you're happy and you're in

(14:03):
a place where you should be enjoying life to the fullest. Well,
I think that it's actually a little bit of that
quote that you read from Glenn and Doyle that I posted.
I think it's like this, When things are bad, we're
hoping and wishing they were good. When things are good,
we're waiting for the other shoe to drop and for
them to be bad. Right, And so it's like we're
always in this place of like what if, what if?
What if? Um, and we're never actually just able to

(14:24):
be in that moment of whatever is going on. Right.
And I think the reality is for most of us,
we you know, like I said, we do have a
negativity bias that it's it's a neurobiological thing, but part
of it is we are so uncomfortable with being uncomfortable, right,
that we will do anything that we possibly can to
not feel the fields, to not feel the anxiety, to

(14:45):
not feel the sadness, the overwhelmed, the anger, all the
things that we would say quote unquote or negative emotions, right,
And so usually we're trying to push those away and
we're trying to focus on something else. The problem is
is that we cannot kind of selective numb or selectively
drown out. So what I mean by that is when
you think about let's say like alcohol, for example, if

(15:06):
I'm drinking alcohol, I can't only numb the bad, I
also numb the good. So it's similar in the way
that we wire our brains. If I'm wiring my brain
to always be I don't want to be in the negative.
So I'm just going to pay attention to something else
and not be present with what's going on. It feels yucky.
It's gonna also kind of bite you in the ass.
On the other side, too, because then you're also not
going to be present in the positive as well. It's

(15:28):
a muscle. You've got to strengthen it for good and bad.
That sucks, I mean, like it's hard. Doesn't that suck?
Like you can't just like there's not two off switches.
There's like one off switch. You turn it all off
or you turn it all on. And this is like, ah,
but that's the that's the idea of being fully human, right, Like,
you can't be fully human if you don't get both

(15:49):
bad and good, light and dark, right cold and hot,
Like you can't. You can't. I want to switch from
wearing your psychologists had in your mindfulness coach had. I
want to turn it into a little bit more of
a human converse station. What got you into this? You know,
like what led you here is that? Was it your
own experiences? Was it seeing other people and trying to
find a way to help tell me more about your

(16:09):
own story? All of the above, really, I mean, you know,
for me it was through my own work. So up
until it's not that therapy was ever taboo, and my
family we just never really talked about mental health. I
mean I definitely kind of grew up in a family
and a town that was very like, you know, blue collar,
pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you know, if you're
in a bad place, just get through it kind of thing.

(16:30):
And when I moved to New York actually to be
a TV producer when I was young, I was in
my early twenties, I remember that I was just kind
of angry and like piste off and agitated all the time.
And I didn't even actually realize that until a good
friend of mine kind of put the mirror up to
me and called me out on it. And I wasn't
sure why, and so I ended up actually taking her
referral going to see her therapist and had this experience

(16:52):
where I was ten minutes into meeting this woman for
the first time, and she opened my eyes to something
that was a relationship baseding that I had struggled with
kind of my whole life, and it just melted me
and changed my entire world. And I remember from that
moment on just being insatiably curious about my inner workings,
like how things you know, develop, childhood stuff like all

(17:16):
the things. And I just fell down the rabbit hole.
And so through that, I said, oh, I want to
do what you do, but I hadn't gotten to that
place yet. I went, Oh, I want to teach yoga,
and so I got my teacher training and then I
was like, oh, I want to do yoga therapy, and
so I did that, and then I was like, I'm
gonna take an attrition program. Oh I'm gonna take a
mindfulness base kind into therapy. I basically was like collecting,
you know, certifications like Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, your kid,

(17:40):
just collecting the badges over and over. And you know,
it helped me so much because over those years of
taking like collecting those badges, my whole life changed in
the sense of I got more present, I got more calm,
I became more grateful. I became just happier. And it's
not like happy. I hate when we say this thing
of like I want to be happy, as if happy
is something that's like tangible on a shelf that I

(18:02):
can reach for, right, But I knew that I was
happier because I was I was more present in my life.
I was more kind of aware of the good I was,
you know, So it just it changed my entire being.
And then through that I just said, you know what,
I want to give this to other people. I want
people to understand that, yes, it's it's tough work to
be present constantly and ship nobody's good at it, not

(18:25):
even me. Um, It's worth the work because it can
alter your entire existence. And so from there I decided, Hey,
I'm going to go back to grad school. And like
my thirties, I left a relationship, moved across the country
by myself, landed in l A, was going to school
full time while working as a producer full time, and
I just like did the grind and I made the
I made the transition, and so wow, what a story.

(18:48):
And I want to I just want to reiterate that
one part though, where you gave in or you kind
of said all right and you started seeing a therapist
and that breakthrough moment like you had mentioned. I think
anybody who's really committed you a therapy is something where
you get what you give if you really do commit
and give to it. I think all three of us
here Um and I can speak for Catherine just because
we've had some great conversations already about it. It is

(19:11):
so worth it. And I want to be like, we
can be the voice today if you need it, if
you've been waiting for a sign or or somebody to
tell you go see a therapist. Like I've had moments
where like I was like, I don't know about therapy,
and then I go to therapy and my therapist just
says one thing and it like unlocks the water fountain
that is directly behind my eyeballs, and I just like

(19:32):
cry my eye Like it's so good and it's so freeing.
And I do think that the reason why I'm bringing
this up is because it is about being present and
in my ability because I've only recently started seeing a therapist.
Being able to openly speak to somebody and know that
your secrets are safe with them and you can say
what you feel and tell them everything. It just makes

(19:53):
it more possible to be present and to be there. Um,
So thank you for sharing your story. I love that
I have a I have an the thought that I've
had in my head, which was I don't know if
you've ever heard that quote, like thoughts think themselves, like
they just come into your brain. How do you feel
about that quote? You believe that is that true? Is
it partially true? Partially true? It's partially true in the
sense that like that's what our brains are there for, right,

(20:14):
Like they're meant to think um. And so that's partially
why when I work with people and they do the
whole like, you know, I'm a I can't meditate, I'm
a bad meditator. I can't clear my mind. And I'm like, well,
that's not possible. So anybody that's telling you that meditation
is you need to clear your mind doesn't actually understand
meditation um. And So really what meditation is, really what
mindfulness is, is just being aware of what comes up

(20:36):
without attaching yourself to it right without without again judgment.
Judgment can mean putting a positive or a negative label
on something right, and so it's all about just seeing
the thoughts come up and then allowing them to pass
by without getting swept away in the story of them.
Your thoughts are gonna think, your brain is gonna think,
they're gonna pop up. You can't stop that. And I

(20:57):
love that because when I if you download any of
the meditation naps, the first thing that they teach you,
it's like it's like watching cars on a freeway and
you like let them common, you let them go. That
being said, thoughts can often then lead to feelings, and
a lot of people I think that there's like a
pretty common concept of like control your feelings. You have

(21:17):
control of your feelings, or you have control of your thoughts.
Where do you stand in that giant mix? Yeah, well,
I mean it is true that thoughts create feelings and
then feelings create thoughts. So it actually is a cycle, right,
And so once we get ourselves into this kind of loop,
you can actually picture the circle of it just continuing
to go. It's really hard to get out, right, So
there is a little bit of in the mindfulness practice.

(21:39):
It is the better you get, the stronger that muscle gets,
that you being able to watch what's coming up, whether
it's a thought or a feeling or a sensation in
the body and kind of allowing it to pass through
without attaching to it. Right, The stronger you make that muscle,
the easier it actually becomes for you when you do
get swept up, because you will we all do. Rather

(22:00):
than being like an hour into like a session of
like obsessing about something and all of a sudden being like,
holy sh it, it's been an hour, you might do
it twenty minutes into obsessing about something, or five minutes
in or maybe eventually it's like in the moment you're like, no,
I'm not I'm not following that path, and you actually
start to be able to in a in a sense,
you know, kind of control your thoughts just because you're

(22:22):
not allowing them to kind of take you for a ride.
So it's more like it's more like a dog hurting
cattle than it is like hurting kittens. Something like, yes,
this is perfect. Um, So another thing I'm gonna go
because we did our research, I actually have you saying
that you can't grow and evolve if you can't notice
and be aware. I think that that is something that

(22:43):
definitely can debilitate your growth as a human if you
are stuck and unable to be present. Um, And that's
the first step, which is mindfulness. Why is it that
being present is so integral to personal growth? I mean,
what I would say to that is, if I can't
be present with what's coming up for me. Okay, so

(23:05):
let's say it's anxiety. If I can't be truly present
to the anxiety, and I can't be truly present to, um,
the sensations that the anxiety creates in my body and
the thoughts that kind of then spring up from that
feeling of anxiety. If I'm not able to sit back
and watch what's going on and kind of dissect it
in a way, I won't ever really be able to

(23:25):
get to the bottom of what's creating and causing the anxiety. Right,
So I'm always just going to be again along for
the ride. You know. Part of this is I don't
like to use the word control, right, but it is
part of it. Like you do have to be able
to understand what's underneath it, and then what's underneath that,
and then what's underneath that. Right, So it's like backing
yourself into every layer. Um, And if I don't know

(23:48):
what this first layer is and I'm not present with
that first layer, how the heck am I going to
get to the layer underneath or the lay underneath that.
Oh wow, that makes so much sense. And I've never
even heard anybody explain it like that, but it makes
so much sense. I'm going to assume that you have
some incredible tips and tricks and advice for people to
get started. But I'm gonna make the listener wait, you

(24:08):
gotta wait until we come back. We're gonna be back.
We're gonna take a break, and at the very end
of this, we're gonna have some advice from all three
of us, but most importantly from Vanessa Bennett. Vanessa, thank
you so much for all of your advice for telling
your story. We're gonna be right back, and when I
get back, I'll be talking with Catherine about mindfulness and distraction.
Don't go anywhere. All right, we are back. This is

(24:30):
Let's Get into It. I'm alex Iono and we just
had a great conversation Vanessa Bennett and I about what
it means to be mindful and why it's important to
be mindful. And now I have one of my very
very good friends and the producer of Let's Get into It,
Catherine Law here, and we're gonna be talking about mindfulness
and distraction. But how are you, Katherine. I'm so good.
I'm less distracted today. I've had my coffee, I'm on it,

(24:54):
I'm in it. It's great. So when I love that.
But when we talk about what episodes I wanted to do,
you know, we had talked about, okay, the importance of
being mindful. One that's about being present, and at first
I kind of came from my view, which was having
anxiety or having depression and dealing with it, but a
part of that is not being present. It actually kind

(25:18):
of unfolded, and we talked about other people who have
other ailments that that lead to not being able to
be present, including a d h D. And I was
I asked you as like, do we know anybody who
has a d h D. And I was like, and you,
I mean, it's it's courageous the fact that you wanted
to come out here and and talk. I thought it

(25:39):
was so important to have that because it's true. I
really do feel like the common denominator of the through
line through all mental illnesses and mental health issues is
that everybody is dealing with something that makes it so
that they have a harder time being present. Can you
tell us a little bit about your you know, how
you realized or how you came to the conclusion or

(26:00):
were diagnosed with a d h D. Well. I sort
of like in high school, I would say, and as
a kid sort of like had an inkling that that
was something that was going on with me because my
dad had been diagnosed, my little brother had been diagnosed
as well, and just noticed like a lot of the
same things going on with myself. Um distract ability and

(26:23):
a lot of jumping from thought to thought, and as
I got older, I really wasn't diagnosed until I was
an adult. And one of the things that got me
really interested in figuring out all the ways that this
affected me was a Mastermind group that I was in
back in my days of being a marketer UM. I
was in a group with a lot of other super

(26:44):
successful entrepreneurs. In that group of these like ultra successful
people who are like all like geeks, breaks and weirdos,
like a bunch of like very quirky personalities like them
were like, oh yeah, I was diagnosed too. Oh yeah,
I was diagnosed too. And so it sort of became
like a celebratory thing in this group where it's like

(27:06):
I finally got my diagnosis and already would be like, yeay,
it's amazing, and so there, you know, there are a
lot of good things and we'll talk a little bit
about this too, but there are so many good things
about it as well. It you have these moments of
creativity and you get to be spontaneous and all kinds
of good things like that. But that was sort of
what led me to making it official, was being in

(27:28):
this group where it was like, hey, we've all got
a d h D. But we're like having a great
time and you know, creative business people and whatever. So yeah, no,
I mean I love that, and I think that's something
that's in the biggest picture. A big goal of mine
for this podcast is to help but continue normalizing mental
health issues and even to the point, like you said, like,

(27:49):
let's normalize it so much so that we celebrate the
fact that we finally figured out what's going on with us.
You know. It's like it's like if if your car
was broken, you couldn't figure out what it was and
you finally realized there's a nail in the tire. It
sucks that there's a nail in the tire, but like
you're like, yeah, we can finally fix it. We know
exactly how to fix it, exactly what to do. And
like you had mentioned, there are still benefits Like there

(28:11):
I saw a post on Instagram that was about like
all of the positive things about having depression, and it
was talking about you have a larger space to hold
empathy and sympathy for others, and you can relate to
people and you feel things a little bit more, and
there are benefits to these things, especially once you can
handle them, then it's truly it can get to a

(28:32):
point where it's only benefits. Like you are, it's a superpower.
I don't know how else to say it, Like you
have the ability to feel things in ways that others can't,
And there's so many benefits having a d h D.
What are the benefits that you see, Like you had
mentioned spurts of of creativity or sponsor name. Yeah, I
mean for me, I think I joke with my husband

(28:54):
all the time that like he would be so bored
in life if he wasn't married to me with a
d h D because I'm spontaneous. Like the other day.
The other day, I was like, can we just get
like pizza and ice cream for dinner? And he was like, Okay,
we can, And so we like drove to our favorite
pizza place. It's like thirty minutes away, but we drove

(29:17):
to Pizzaan in West Hollywood, picked up like the most
delicious pizza of all time, came back looped around by
Jenny's ice Cream here and in Yeah, and I had
pizza and ice But it's like, you know, we had
some boring coronavirus pandemic night planned, and I was just like,
let's make an adventure happen right now exactly. And I

(29:38):
love that so much. I mean, I feel like it
really is you have the you have the option, the
opportunity to reach a level of instant spontane that instant creativity,
that spark of like really like when people say, like
the spark of inspiration, that's what it sounds like, and
so um. There are definitely benefits of it, and I
think that that it is something that we continue to normalize,

(30:01):
and not only normalize, continue to celebrate going to see
a doctor saying these are what's going on. Getting that
solution as soon as my as soon as my therapist
told me, hey, you have an anticipatory anxiety, I was
like like I was literally like got it. I'm glad,
like I know what's going on. Like it just made
it easier for me to when I'm feeling something, when
I'm feeling the bad part of it, like I getting

(30:23):
just or I have an anxiety attack, at least know
exactly what it is. I go, hey, this is anticipatory anxiety.
I'm gonna knock it out right now. These are my
tricks that I was told to do, and then you
get it done and then you celebrate, like you really
treat yourself to it. Yeah, And my dad always says
you can't manage what you don't measure, and I feel like,
I know, I know it's Mr Law. Mr Law. He's

(30:48):
actually like a brilliant human um, but he always says
you can't manage what you don't measure, and I feel
like that's so much what we're talking about right now.
It's like when you put a label on it. You know,
it's not like you are like, oh cool, I have
eight HD I'm gonna figure out how to deal with
this and it's all great. No, you learn tools, and
you have this process where you continually try to enact

(31:09):
those tools and you get better with practice. It doesn't
just happen overnight. But you know, like Vanessa was saying,
with like, maybe you cut that time down from an
hour to twenty minutes down to five minutes when you
can react and and put your tools into place to
keep it going on the right path. So in your
own personal experience, since we are we, I do want
to address the full realm of AD. Yeah, do you

(31:30):
feel like you're able to be present since your mind
is constantly racing around since your mind is shifting and
it can change on it and you know, switch on
the dime. Um, I would say yes and no, and
this is why I'm going to say both of those.
On the one hand, I feel like I'm super present
a lot of the time because my brain is wherever

(31:54):
my brain is right So even if my brain is
skipping around, I'm like, okay, now, I'm like supert with
this other, like part of the conversation I'm having, or
this new topic that I'm bringing up. Like that's a
lot of what happens is like let's switch topics now,
But I'm following my own track and so I'm like
super present with wherever I am right then, one thing

(32:14):
that happens is that I can't like stay on that
track for as long as I might like. So, for example,
where that becomes problematic is like if I'm listening to
instructions like I used to do in normal times, I
used to do a lot of improv and if I
was taking a class, I'd be super into it, so
much fun, It's all great. The second that the instructor

(32:35):
would start explaining a drill or an exercise that we're
going to do, my brain would be somewhere else, right,
so my brain and it wasn't like it's not a choice.
It was just like the second those instructions start happening,
my my brain is gone. It's out the window until
the moment where they're like, okay, let's start the exercise
and I have no idea what we're doing. And so

(32:58):
for a long time, my coping mechanism was, Okay, you
just aren't in the first pair of people out because
you need to see what they're doing so you can
try and figure out what you're supposed to be doing
right now. And one of the tools I've learned to
implement is just asking for what I need, just saying like, okay,
can you like just repeat that in like two seconds?

(33:19):
You know what I mean? Like, can you just give
us like a one sentence version of what that is
um or just like condense it, or just even verifying
and clarifying and saying, okay, so we're doing X, Y,
and Z. Now if I've sort of picked it up
and and and it helps, and it helps a couple
of other ways that it affects me is I'll have
like little piles of things everywhere I'm I'm one of

(33:40):
my things in quarantine as I'm trying to be more tidy,
so that's been a little bit better, but I leave
little piles of things everywhere, and it also manifests itself
in like being fifteen minutes late anywhere I'm going. I
really have a difficult time knowing how long things take.
But you know, one of the other things, and this

(34:01):
is sort of like a blessing and a curse that
comes for me that comes along with my a d
h D is hyper focus. So one thing that can
happen is like, yes, you're hanging around, and it can
be really hard to be present. But also like hyper
focus is something that a lot of people with a
d h D have as well, So it's like my
brain goes in there and it can be like two

(34:22):
three hours later and I have no idea how much
time has gone by. It's difficult to get myself to
the point where I start a project. But once I'm
in the project, I mean like someone can be talking
to me, other things can be going on around me,
but I I'm I'm somewhere else, like I'm hyper hyper
hyper focused. So it's it's really interesting to try and

(34:44):
manage like getting into like forcing yourself to get into
hyper focus when you have to get something done. Um.
But then like it's also a really good tool for
the most part to be able to get things done
when you when you do crossover in a hyper focus. So, yeah,
I want to talk. I want to talk little bit
about that in the sense of how that that little

(35:04):
piles everywhere. And every time you said little piles everywhere,
I just thought of little fires everywhere the show, and
I just thought of like a whole parody of that
exact thing. But it's just about and it's just it's
just little piles everywhere. But the thing is they say
that a d h D and anxiety actually go hand
in hand, and when you're not on the nice side,

(35:26):
when you're not on the hyper focus side or the
positive side or the I'm so glad I got I
figured out what's going on side. I think that you
can build more thoughts and feelings of anxiety when you
let the d h D kind of control you instead
of you controlling that. Can you talk a little bit
about that? Yeah, I mean for me, the anxiety happens

(35:48):
with its cyclical thinking is a huge one for me,
it's a sort of thing where like I can be
going throughout my day and if there's anything that I'm
like worried about, my brain will be like, hey, remember
this thing you should be worried about, and it's it's terrible,
especially if it's like one of those things that feels
like a gut punch, you know, you just like get
that awful feeling in your stomach. And so for that specifically,

(36:10):
one tool that works for me. It doesn't work for everybody,
but it works for me is to like kind of
like we talked about earlier, noticing the thought and letting
it pass by. Um. But for me, one thing that
helps is I noticed the thought. Okay, that's not something
that I can do anything about right now. Thank the
thought for coming. Saying like, thank you for being here.

(36:31):
I understand you're just trying to prepare me for whatever.
Thing like if it's a meaning, if it's whatever, Um,
a discussion you have to have with a friend like
thank you for being here, thank you for stopping by.
I don't need you right now, so I'm gonna put
you in a little box. And I like, this is
so goofy, But I literally envisioned myself like putting that
thought into a box, closing the lid on the box,

(36:54):
making the box tiny, and putting it on a shelf.
So I have to do it, usually several times times,
but it is one of those things that helps me
sort of get rid of those cyclical thoughts or at
least less in their effect, and be like cool, I
can't help this situation right now, so I'm just gonna
put it on a shelf until the time comes that
I actually can deal with it. No, I love that,

(37:15):
And again, like, we're going to save all of our
tips and tricks, like all of our special ones, because
I have a bunch, and I know that Vanessa has
a bunch, and I know you have a bunch. We're
gonna save that for the next segment. But before we
take a break, um, I want you to address something specifically,
just because you've mentioned it, that sometimes your brain can
just fly boom boom boom a thousand miles per hour.
You have a couple of tips and tricks that you

(37:37):
regularly practice. What do you do when none of them work?
When it's just I have done everything, I've tried meditation,
I've tried my little box thing. When it's just nothing
is working, What's what's your go to? Um? You can
hear Mimsy parking in the background, by the way, she
just got back from the vet. Um. Yeah, but uh,

(38:01):
when nothing is working, especially with if I'm anxious about
something or whatever, it's a little bit like, let's do
a hard restart on this brain right now. One of
the people from my my Mastermind group had said about
specifically a d h D symptoms. He was like, you know,

(38:21):
you're going to find that you can spend all day
worrying about the thing that has to happen, or worrying
about the thing, whatever the thing is. You finally get
the thing done at the last minute, or you deal
with the thing at the last minute and you're actually
are going to do your best work at the last
minute because that's how your brain works. But until that time,
you can either spend all day worrying about the thing,

(38:43):
not dealing with the problem, whatever it may be. You
might as well instead of spending all day blustering about
it and fretting about it and getting anxiety about it, like,
go take a nap, go do something else, go read
a book for a while. Basically, go do a hard
reason you're not going to do it until later. You're
not going to deal with it until later anyway, and
you're also going to do your best work when you

(39:03):
deal with it later. So just go do something else
and like take a load off and like live your life.
So yeah, that's that's what a nap helps. I love that.
A nice, a nice little nap never does you wrong. Listen, guys,
we're gonna be right back. When we get back. We
got way more tips. We're talking about next level mindfulness.

(39:24):
Don't go anywhere, yo, what's up. It's alex Iono and
I am here with Vanessa Bennett and Catherine Law and
we're talking about next level mindfulness. I want to start
off with this statistic that I found. According to a
two thousand eight study, seventy eight percent of adults with
a d h D noticed a reduction in symptoms when
they practice mindfulness meditation and noticed a significant reduction in symptoms. Vanessa,

(39:48):
how does that like track with what you've seen in
your own clients when they start practicing mindfulness? Yes, I
mean a thousand percent. Yes, So mindfulness is one of
those things where I would say, like ten years ago,
it kind of became like cool buzzword. Right, And UM,
what I've been very grateful to see is that there
have been a ton of studies in the psychology world
of the benefits of kind of layering mindfulness on top

(40:10):
of pretty much any other modality that you work with. UM.
And and actually the research based like the backing that
shows just how efficient it can be, UM and how
it can actually level up anything that you're already doing.
So we were saying it earlier actually when you were
talking to Catherine. It's like it is one of those
things that by not being present, you're exacerbating probably almost

(40:32):
anything else going on for you. Right, So if we
can get present even in trauma work, like not to
totally throw that curveball in there, but you would think like, oh,
this horrible thing happened. Right, Let's say I was like,
I'm a veteran, I don't want to think about it,
I don't want to be there. Well, mindfulness work actually
is part of working through that traumatic experience, right. So, UM,
you can see how being present and working with whatever

(40:53):
comes up and allowing your body, by the way your body,
your mind, whatever, to digest the thing that's coming up. Right,
That's why it's so important, and that's why it does
have two huge benefits. So with a d D, a
d h D as well. Actually, I think Katherine said
up about it being going hand in hand with anxiety.
And so the way that I've actually seen and I've
been trained, so my backgrounds in depth psychology, which is

(41:16):
a little bit more based in the unconscious world, and
what the way that we look at things like a
d h D depression, anxiety, A lot of these are
manifestations of something that's going on at more of a
soul level. Right, So a d h D is actually
a symptom of it's a byproduct of something else that's
going on. Right. It's your body's where or your brain's
way of again making a defense mechanism, right in order

(41:39):
to help you get out of what ever is happening
with you. Uh. And So for me, I would look
at a d h D and I would say, okay,
working mindfully right, let's get in, Let's figure out what's
going on underneath it. Let's figure out why your brain
is jumping from thought to thought to thought to thought,
Like why does it not want to stay with this thought? That?
That makes me think a lot about it makes me
think a lot about the concept of controlling your mental

(42:02):
health so that your mental health does not control you,
you know what I mean. I have this issue, and
I think a lot of people have this issue. If not,
then I'm just weird. But I have this issue where
I can very often miss interpret staying focused and being
present with doing something that that helps me relax or

(42:26):
or gather myself, you know, reading a book or playing
even a video game or watching a TV show, um,
to relax, especially in a time like this. Uh. And
and that kind of can be a distraction for me
in a good way. Um, but I know that there's
also distractions in a bad way and it can kind
of knock you off the path more of diversions versus
like good and healthy distractions. Where's the line? And this

(42:49):
is open for for anybody to answer. What's the line?
How can you have too much of a distraction? Can you?
Can you kind of baby yourself a little bit too
much and then you now your back off of being
you know, being mindful, being present. What do you guys
think For me? I sort of I get a little
bit of a guilt complex if I'm like playing a

(43:09):
video game or like a little stupid game on my phone.
I love Two Dots. That's sort of, oh my gosh,
this checkers fun. But it's great, and like sometimes they
have these little puzzles where you like fine things. It's ridiculous.

(43:29):
It's a dying game. Like there's literally like you can't
shut the game down. There's one person playing and they
live in low it's me. Yeah, they keep it open
just for me. But I love Two Dots. I just
like zen out and I listened to the like chill
music and like the little bleeps and bloops For me.
One of the things I liked about it in the

(43:51):
very beginning was that like you could only play it
for like ten minutes and then you would run out
of lives. Well now they've sort of gotten around that
because they realized they need to make money and have
people keep playing their game. For me, it's like I
have a little guilt around it sometimes and then I'm like,
oh no, I need to just like have a zen
moment and like just think about nothing and just like
do this stupid little thing that sort of relaxes me

(44:11):
for a little bit what I'm trying to stop doing
and what I'm working to like for me, the line
is Okay, I'm walking my dog. I leave the apartment,
I go to wait for the elevator, and what am
I in the elevator for like ten seconds? Sometimes I'll
find myself like opening that app or like opening Instagram

(44:31):
or something, and I'm like, no, I don't need to
just like distract myself for the ten seconds that it
takes the elevator to go down to floor, you know whatever.
So yeah, for me, that's the line, is am I
using this as an escape or as something to change
my mood? Because that's something that I find that I like,
I'm like a little annoyed or something. I'll like turn
it like open Instagram. I'm like okay, then I'm like

(44:52):
thinking about something else. That for me is the line.
Am I using this as like an escape from an
emotion I'm feeling or just I need a shell for
a minute? For a minute? Is fine? I like that? Yeah,
I mean I've I've got a lot of thoughts I
think swirling. But I think what you said Otherine is
is pretty on point as far as like your line

(45:14):
is being able to again, this takes awareness, right, Like
what am I using it for? And you need to
be able to be honest with yourself, right, Like if
we're not going to be honest with ourselves and who
is right? So it's like, if you know you're doing
it to escape something, here's the thing. If you know that,
and you can be honest about it, and you can say,
I still want to do it for ten minutes because
I don't want to feel this thing power to you

(45:35):
do the thing right, and then in time minutes think
about the thing as long as you're really being honest
with what the reason is. Right, And I think, Alex,
you actually said it earlier, this idea of something being
your superpower. I always say that any of this stuff
can be our superpower or kryptonite. It just depends on
how you use it, right, Like what is that line?
Is it controlling you or you controlling it? So to
your point, Gathered, if you find yourself just automatically opening

(45:58):
your phone, right to use scrolling as an apple because
it's a great one that we all use nowadays, um
without being mindful of the fact that you just whipped
your phone out for no reason, you might want to
stop and think about what you're doing right and and
self care. To your point, Alex, it's like, look, sometimes
sitting on the couch and like zoning out to TV.
That can actually be self care, right, Sometimes we do

(46:18):
just need to like turn it off, veg out, space out. Whatever.
Would I call that being present? No, A thousand percent no,
But what I still call it? Okay self care sometimes? Sure, Again,
as long as it's not like controlling you, right, as
long as you're still carving out the time to be
present with what's going on, as long as you're being
honest with yourself. You know, one of the things I

(46:39):
tell clients actually is give it to yourself as a reward. So,
especially with procrastination writer a D d UM, when I've
worked the clients in the past, I'll say, set a
timer on your phone for when you need to do
homework or study or whatever it is. For let's say
twenty or thirty minutes. When that timer goes off, no
matter where you are in the process ding, you get

(47:00):
five minutes or ten minutes of a reward, scrolling Instagram,
getting up to get a snack, cleaning because for some
people that's a good like anxiety burner, right, whatever it is.
And then dang, when that five minutes is over, go
back to doing what you gotta get done right. So
sometimes these little things like zoning out can actually be
a reward system for our brain too. I really like that.
Now I want to shift it just a very little bit.

(47:24):
We've spent this last hour talking about the importance of
being present. We're also in the middle of a year
that I think we all like to forget about and
move on from as quickly as possible. Why should we
be present right now? Mm hmm. Well, the first thing
that came up for me is I don't want to
miss it? Actually, how can we evolve into something better

(47:47):
if we're not fully aware of the darkness of that
yucky stuff, of that yucky side. Right. So in my
world we call this the opposite of that spiritual bypassing
m hm. So it's this idea that like positive vibes
only I only like positive people in my life. I
don't you know really what that is. It's like you
can't I don't know if you guys saw. But the

(48:08):
whole time that Va saying that she had just the
most valley girl like l a blogger. That's why positive
vibes only face. I just like channel my inner seventies,
you know, hippie check, right, there um and and you know,
while it's great to surround yourself with positive people and

(48:29):
all the things, sometimes it is a way to bypass
the work. It's a way to bypass the real real,
which is like, actually every one of us has implicit bias.
Actually this country was founded on racism. Actually, we all
have bouts with depression, we all have negative thinking. We
all whatever the thing is right, and you can't get

(48:50):
away from that. And if you try to ignore it,
like you're gonna miss it, right, And so, how do
you learn your lessons? How do you integrate what you've
learned if you just look away and skip over it
and pretend like it's not there. I actually think there's
so much value in being president with the yucky stuff. Wow,
If that doesn't really get you to be like, yeah,

(49:12):
I should start being present no matter what, then then
I don't know what else we can say. I want
to finally switch to this last I know everybody's been waiting.
They want to know how to become more present. I
want to start with my tip. I have one tip
and I just do it all the time. I got
it from my therapist and I share with everybody that
I know. Um, but My tip to being present is

(49:32):
every time I start thinking or catch myself not being
president or worrying about something, I ask myself this question,
Am I going to do something about it right now?
Are you going to do something about like I really
just has It's a real just kind of like like
you said, Katherine, you just have those real questions you
ask yourself and I just go, am I going to
do something about it right now? And if my answer
is yes, then I go, Okay, do it. And if
my answer is no, then I go then stop then

(49:53):
stop thinking about it, dealing with it later. And you
kind of mentioned it, Katherine, you would say, hey, this
is when it needs to be done, and you kind
of put that schedule it together. I think that that's
something that I do, UM and it really does help
me be more present because I might be stressed about
something that I have to do tomorrow or stressed about
a podcast recording. I asked myself that question, and based
off of the answer, I either move on from that

(50:13):
thought and I try and focus or really enjoy whatever
I'm doing right now UM or I or I do
something about the thing that I'm worried about at the
given moment. Katherine, you have any any tips? Two ones
come to mind, and sort of to piggyback off of yours. Alex, like,
there was one moment at the very beginning of the pandemic,

(50:35):
and this is like before we were even wearing masks.
It was like it was just walking Mimsie. I was depressed.
It was like, what the hell is going on? I
miss going to the office, I miss these you know,
I miss my friends. I miss like just like bummed, right,
hardcore bummed. And then I just had this moment of like,
hold on a second, what's happening right now? I'm walking

(50:57):
my dog, who I'm obsessed with. I am listening to
a podcast. You know, this was part of like not
being president was like distracted from what I was listening to,
thinking of how sad I was. I'm walking my dog,
listening to a podcast, and there's like a beautiful sunset happening.
I'm literally doing all of my favorite things. Maybe it's
okay right now, even if it sucks generally, maybe it's

(51:20):
okay right now. So I guess like that tip is
just being present, which is just do it, do it,
just do it. Just the other the other tip I
have Vanessa to go back to what you were saying
about setting timers. That is something that I do of obsessively.

(51:41):
Anytime an alarm goes off, my husband is like arbitrary alarm,
because I set alarms for myself all day long. I
gotta take the roast stud of the oven. I gotta
do X, Y or Z, because I know I might
get into that hyper focus or I might just like
put water on the stove and then I forgot about it.
So I always set an alarm. I always said, a timer,
and something that actually helps me a lot with getting that,

(52:03):
like a chunk of work done, or a chunk of
something productive done, whether it's cleaning or working or whatever.
There's an app called Forest. I think it's just called Forest.
It's adorable. You go on there. You can set how
long you want to set your time or for whether
it's twenty five minutes, ninety minutes, whatever, and then it
grows a little tree while you're being productive. You can't

(52:23):
look at your phone or you kill the tree, which
is a little bleak. I was like, and it only
it kills that tree and every tree in the world. No,
But then the nice thing is they actually go like
like plant trees for you if you like earn enough
coins like I r L plant trees in the world, so,

(52:46):
which is great. And I have to like set my
timer for longer than like the twenty five minutes because
it takes me while. It's like get into that focus,
and when I do, I need to keep it. So
I do like a ninety minute often where I'll just
be like okay, and then the bell rings and I
get to go do something else for a while. I
love that. I love that, Vanessa, You're obviously the expert here,
So give us your tips. Take us home with some

(53:06):
really fired Okay, Okay, I've got a couple of ones
that are that are doable, right. So one of them,
um this idea you know, you said Alex about like
I'm kind of thinking about something I have to do tomorrow.
Like I know a lot of people, It's like I
can't get to sleep, I'm tossing and turning. I'm stressed
out about this thing. Um. So, one of the tips
that I have found helpful for myself and then I
actually use with clients a lot is scheduling worry time.

(53:30):
So when you find yourself being kind of overwhelmed by worry,
maybe you're you know, tossing and turning at night. Whatever,
get out of bed. If let's say it's happening before bed,
get out of bed. Set five minutes on your timer,
pull out your journal or a piece of paper, and
talk to yourself literally, say to yourself, okay, brain, you've
got five minutes to get it all out right. We
can't do anything about it right now, but I'm gonna

(53:50):
let you have your moment right. Set the timer and
give yourself five minutes and just write down all the
things that are swirling and bouncing and keeping you awake.
When that tim or goes off, it's you say to
yourself again, Okay, you've had your five minutes. We'll worry
about this tomorrow. The list is here, it's all out
of my brain. Now it's time to sleep. And so
there's this idea of scheduling worry time, and it could

(54:11):
be really helpful when you find yourself overwhelmed with worry.
So that's awesome. I love that. Okay, and you said
five minutes, right, you said five, Okay, yeah, don't go
over five, because I'm sure we could probably schedule, like
I'm going to schedule three hours over worry time, come
with me. Gutam um um. So the other one is

(54:34):
when you're feeling really overwhelmed, so especially people who deal
with like massive anxiety, where you find yourself, you know,
the typical the heart palpitations, Oh god, I'm sweating. You know,
my breath is really short and shallow. We do this
thing called five senses. So when you catch yourself, do
the thing. And Alex is nodding, So I'm sure you've
probably heard this from your therapist. Run through your senses, right,
So wherever you are, whenever you are look around, find

(54:55):
something site that you can focus on, and I mean focus.
So like for me, I'm looking at these like sheer
white blinds, and I'm noticing the light actually coming through
the blinds, and I'm noticing that there's a little bit
of texture and there's like a little piece of fuzz
on it. Like literally focus all of your site on
this thing, right, and then do the same thing with
all of your different senses, so your ears pick up something,

(55:16):
really focusing on it, you know, smell, taste, all the things, touch,
maybe I can feel my shirt on my skin, and
really hone in and pay attention to it. It really
helps you to just take yourself out of whatever it is,
that feeling of hyper anxiety, hyper arousal, bring yourself back
into your body in the present moment. And what it
really does is it's you're actually resetting your nervous system.

(55:37):
So you're telling your nervous system in that moment, there's
no tiger, We're good, right, we're in this moment, We're
in our body. Things are fine, and you can actually
feel yourself regulate. So that's a really good any other one,
I have one more good one. So if you're somebody
who's new to mindfulness of meditation, right, I always say
it doesn't need to look like you sitting in lotus

(55:59):
position in you know, like a yogi for an hour
a day. Ideally, if you can do it, great, but
that's not what it has to look like. Um. A
yoga teacher or a mindfulness teacher once said to me,
next time you're in the shower, check and see if
you're in the shower. So yeah, so what he what
we we we learned. One of the things that we

(56:20):
trained on is anything you're doing can be a practice
of meditation or mindfulness if you're mindful while you're doing it. Right,
So I always say, take something that you do every
single day. So hopefully all of us brush our teeth
every single morning, right, so take toothbrushing. Make that your
meditation every day. So while you're brushing your teeth, right, So,

(56:43):
actually picture yourself in your mind taking the toothpaste. You
open it. You can smell the kind of peppermint. Right,
you can see the ridges on the toothbrush. You actually
squirt it out onto the toothbrush, You put it in
your mouth. You're feeling the bristles on your gums. You're
tasting the mintainus. You might feel the foaming. Right. Now,
here's the thing your mind's gonna wander. Of course it is, right,

(57:03):
So all of a sudden, you're in like a meeting
or your your podcast, the guess all the things. Oh ship,
my brain's gone back to the minty flavor, back to
the feeling of the thing on the gums. Right, and
use that as the way to continually bring your mind
over and over again back to the thing that you're doing.
Just taken everyday thing that you know you're gonna do anyway,
turn that into your mouth. I'm literally going to do
that with brushing my teeth solely because I this is

(57:26):
I want to be clear, I brush my teeth every morning,
every night. But that being said, I hate it. I
don't know why I hate brushing my teeth. I think
it's like I'm just I wanted to be over as
fast as I started, Like I just when I make
sure my mouth is cleaned. You know what I mean
is I don't like it. This is that's actually a
great tip. I mean, obviously it's a great tip for

(57:46):
being mindful, but it's also probably a great tip so
that I stopped hating brushing my teeth so much. But
those are I mean, those are just like what great
tips and I want to I want to really hammer
that in, like use these tips, and honestly, these tips
aren't working. I also think that all three of us
can full on be like a cheering section for you
to like if you want to go and get help,

(58:08):
or if you feel like you should get help, please
go and get help, Like go and figure out what
it is because it's cool. Like I'm like, it's in
a weird way, like I like being like, yeah, I
got anticipatory anxiety. It's kind of like there's another part
of me, Like I said, hey, guys, I just got
a new pair of shoes and I got anticipatory anxiety.
It's cool, don't don't. I really want to This is

(58:29):
it's been it's been a while since we've done an
episode that's solely about mental health. Um, and that's why
I think I've just been filled up with this thought
of like, if you need help, go get help. Like
it's cool to get help, Like that's the new thing.
Like I know, you know, for the for the state
of our country, for the state of humanity in general,
we gotta keep normalizing it. So I really implore you
to try these tips out. If these tips don't help

(58:51):
what's going on, go and go and catch go and
catch go and catch your local therapist, you know, and
see you see if they can help out. But Vanessa
Catherine think you both honestly so much for coming through.
I love doing episodes about mental health, and Vanessa, hopefully
you can come and be another guest for other mental
health issues because you you really crushed it. Right now

(59:11):
is a section that I like to call uh not
so shameless promo, and it's basically where you just get
to plug yourself, give yourself some give yourself some clout
right here. So, Katherine, since you are you're very used
to hearing what's not so shameless promo sounds like, so
why don't you take it away? Yes? Well, you can
follow me on Instagram at cath Elizabeth. You can of

(59:32):
course follow Mimsy on her Instagram. She is far more
popular than I. But she's at mimsy Merbles like Marbles
with an E or if you're a Parks and Wreck fan,
she's actually named for dairy Merble's the NPR host on
Parks and Wreck mimsy Merbles. Or you can check out
we just started season two of my podcast Driving to Disneyland,

(59:52):
so check that out. It's fantastic and we have a
very fun Instagram full of colorful Disney items. I love
it all right, Vanessa take it away? Um? Yeah, So
you can follow me on Instagram as well. It's Vanessa S.
Bennett H B E N N E T T. People
will never seem to know how to spell that one. Um.
And you can also hear my podcast as well. I

(01:00:13):
do it with my dear soul sister Denay. It's called
Cheaper than Therapy, um, and really it's it's kind of
like the depth the side of the mental health world. Right, Like,
we want to get in we want to destigmatize what
goes on behind the closed doors of the therapy room,
and so we bring on guests and have kind of
like these conversations, right like, let's just be real about
what it is that we're all going through. And so, yeah,

(01:00:33):
you can check me out there. I love it. I
fully expect to be a guest on cheaper than therapy. Now,
don't worry. Don't worry, it's already our mind is already.
You know, you can always find me at alex IONO
everywhere A I O. N Oh. It's the beauty of
having a weird last name. Uh. And I want to
thank you so much for listening today. If you have
the time, please rate our podcast and subscribe. That is

(01:00:54):
how we can grow, share it with the brand you
already know. And I love you so much. Thank you
for listening to another episode of Let's Get Into It,
and we'll see you next time. We really want you
to get the help you need, so if you need help,
please seek independent advice from a competent healthcare or mental

(01:01:16):
health professional. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast
are solely those of the podcast author or individuals participating
in the podcast and do not represent the opinions of
iHeartMedia or its employees. This podcast should not be used
as medical advice, mental health advice, counseling, or therapy. Listening
to the podcast does not established doctor patient relationship with
hosts or guests of alex IONO, Let's Get Into It
or I heart Media. No guarantee is given regarding the

(01:01:38):
accuracy of any statements or opinions made on this podcast. Well,
if that's a doozy