March 3, 2020 • 47 mins
Actor, comedian, writer/producer and standup comedy star Jeff Garlin engages Laura in a Super Tuesday conversation covering politics, relationships in Hollywood and his own very recent divorce.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi there. It's me Laura Wasser, the divorce attorney and
the founder of It's over Easy, the online divorce service.
I've been practicing family law for over twenty years, and
I've worked on thousands of divorces, shepherding people through what
may be one of the most terrifying times in their lives.
(00:20):
Along the way, I often have to remind people to
lower their expectations when dealing with matters of the heart.
Rules simply don't apply because all's fair in love and war.
So welcome to the All's Fair Podcasts. Fasten your seatbelts
and let's go. Hey everyone, I'm Laura Wasser and I'm
Johnny Rains, and we're so excited about today's episode of
(00:43):
All's Fair. In my years of practicing family law, I've
seen it all, from crimes of passion like cutting one
arm or leg off of every item in his or
her closet, to completely inappropriate social media posting and more.
One of the main reasons we created this podcast is
to open up a conversation not only about the things
people do for love and money, but how people reset
(01:04):
and move on. In their next chapters, our conversations about
relationships run the gamut this season, from the inner personal
to our relationships with money. But today I'd like to
ask you a big favor, Laura. What we've been speaking
this season a lot about our relationships with one another,
but what about our relationships on a macro level, specifically
our relationships with the world around us. Today is Super Tuesday,
(01:27):
which means there are primaries in fourteen states, including California
and the American Caucuses that are voting. So I think
we should speak a little bit about, dare I say it? Politics? Okay,
so it's probably not a huge surprise what our politics
are Johnny and mine because we're both gay black men.
But in any Republican and but in any event, wherever,
(01:49):
whatever your political leaning, if you don't vote, do not
complain about it afterwards. That's what I have to say.
And there was an interesting article in last Sunday's l
A Times that Adam schiff Are, one of our congressional reps,
wrote about what Congress needs to start doing to enact
reforms that will prevent presidential abuses of power. Imagine that
(02:11):
that we've seen recently, so it's kind of worth reading.
I know people are kind of starting to get a
little bit interested, and they say time will tell and
that time heals all wounds. But something else that's absolutely
necessary and good times and bad and I've definitely found
it necessary over the past few years is humor and
the ability to dance in the rain, as one great
woman I know put it, and believe, no matter where
(02:33):
we land at the end of Super Tuesday, there will
be something to make us laugh, and it may just
be this big bowl of wonderful Our guest today, how
about that? Thank you? Our guest today is Jeff Garland.
And I want to just give a little and not
that My assumption is that nobody knows who I am.
If someone does, great you are, you never lose by
(02:54):
assuming that no one knows who you are. I was
telling my best from Melissa that I was going to
interview Jeff Garland. She goes, oh, that's too bad. I
was hoping you could get that guy, Jeff Garland, the
one that's on Curb And I was like, no, his
name is Jeff Garland. That is who I'm interviewing. Who
did you think I was interviewing then? And she goes, oh,
I don't know some guy named Jeff Garland. This is
your best friend I know. So in addition to performing
(03:18):
stand up comedy, his new Netflix stand up special is
available globally. And my assistant told me that it's really
funny that they actually did the improv one, that that's
the one that they're playing because it was so good.
She loved it. Okay, I'm gonna have to watch it.
It's available globally on Netflix. And he is a writer,
a producer, a director. He also was a photographer and
(03:38):
in Los Angeles he's had a show that's been at
the like a gallery that's run for a few weeks.
You can still go see it. Um and he has
I've seen some of the shots because I saw them
on Liz Carrey's Instagram. A lot of behind the scenes
stuff from Curb. Yes, so that's fun. And he also
can be seen on ABC's The Goldberg's and he's the
EP and co star of the critically acclaimed Clube Curb
(03:59):
Your enthusiast them. So here we go. This is the
end of the intro Ladies and gentlemen and gender fluids.
I'm grinning from ear to ear and about to introduce
you to Jeff Garland. Welcome, all's fair, Welcome, It is
all fair, so fair. So you were born in Chicago.
So was my mama? Okay, yes, she was Skokie. Yeah.
(04:19):
I grew up right next to Skokie, called Morton Grove,
correctly next to Skokie. My brother was born in Skokie.
My first home after I was born in the city
of Chicago was in Skokie. So Niles Township. What's that
Niles is? It's west of Skokie. Okay. So I know
(04:39):
you're good people. That's my point here. Good Chicago, You're
good people. Yes. And you went to Hebrew School and
then in sixth grade you moved to Florida. How was that?
That was rather shocking. I was the first Jew many
young children saw, and they told you, I'm sure I
never saw. Yes. And I got in a lot of fights, Yes, yes,
(05:02):
I was, but close about big I am. Now, I've
always been a large person, and but I used my
humor to get out of a lot of fights. It
worked good, all right. So then you went to the
University of Miami and in nineteen you married. Yes, and
you guys have two kids. How old are they now?
(05:22):
They are nineteen and twenty three? Okay, so they're adults.
And you guys recently separated in her in the process
of finishing the end of our divorce. That's wonderful. It's good.
And you told me before we came on the air
that it has been a pretty amicable process. It's not
even pretty amical, very amicable, and it will be amicable
because I love her good. I love her madly. I do.
(05:44):
I just you know, sometimes you can't be with someone anymore.
But I love her and I respect her, and I
also know that I'm going to take care of her
for the rest of her life good. And she knows that.
I hope that she does. I tell her all the time,
but you never know what someone's deepest insecurities or fears, right, Well,
(06:07):
you just got to keep proving it to her. I
told her she doesn't have to. I want to be
friends with her forever and I love her, but she
doesn't have to. But I'll still take care of well.
You know why, because you guys are family. That's how
I looked at married a children and I and her.
We spend time together, we have meals together. We all
(06:30):
love each other, you know, so my love is never stopped.
Good and you're working more now than ever you would
really be able to take care of her. Yes, I
will take care of her. Yes, fantastic. This is what
we promote on It's over easy, which is which is
what you know. It's unfortunate because I have some friends
(06:50):
women that numerous women that are divorced with a child
with an asshole for next Yes, a for an X,
A sociopath for an X. Yeah, it's kind of fucking ridiculous.
Excuse my language, and it makes me crazy. And not
(07:12):
only that, but whatever stress I would face for giving
a lot of money to my ex is gonna be
a lot less stress than I face nickel and diming
every day and putting my ex through hell and putting
my children through hell, and therefore putting myself through hell.
I don't want any part of that, So explain to me.
(07:33):
You must know guys, your poker games whatever. I don't play,
not one of those guys. I thought you don't you
play with Rich eyes and those guys f forget I've
never I've never played poker with Rich I love him.
Don't you have the guy perspective going? Why do I
have to pay for the rest of my No? If
you really are just and again, are you gender neutrals.
If the woman was the breadwinner, you believe she should
(07:54):
do the same. Yes, Oh okay, let's hear it. Well. No,
because I also I also have a dear friend that
made a lot of money and her husband's a bum
and she has to pay for him for everything, and
I don't believe in that. So it should be a
different standard. Should always win, women should always I love
this guy. I really believe that women are better than men,
(08:17):
that they should always win. This is a very man
I think this is because you're back on the dating senior. No, no,
and I'm not on the dating scene. Date some but
that's not my m osip with mother. My mother she's dead,
so unless I talked to I was. My mother was
a wonderful woman who lived vicariously through me. She was
(08:41):
she was. She was an acting student at U in
Chicago at the Good In the Theater, and she gave
up her career to be a mother. So she got
a lot of kicks and I was really happy to
share that with her. I love my mother like crazy,
and my father, I think and my father about My
father was a thoughtful, kind man who never was abusive
(09:05):
to my mother ever. For a millisecond, and were they
married till the end. Till the end. They both died
within a few years of each other. And yeah, so
my notes here, Johnny tells me that you knew at
the age of eight, after you saw Jemmy DURRANTI performed,
that you wanted to be a comedian. I went with
my parents. They took me on the way home. I
asked them if that was a job. They said, yes,
(09:26):
that was a job. Therefore I wanted it, wanted, and
I stayed and I've stayed with that the whole time.
And then you moved out here in the eighties. I
moved out here for the first time in the late eighties.
And then I came back a end in the nineties.
And you lived with Conan O'Brien. I lived with I
lived with j Garofalo. I lived with ConA O'Brien in Chicago.
I sublet to John Stewart. We all, like, you know,
(09:48):
I I have all these friends that I was friends
with when we all were broke, all of us. That's nice. Yeah,
and you see each other still, yes, yes, I of
all my friends yet okay. And then you had a
book that you released. I guess it was ten years ago.
Now it was February. Yeah, it was called My Footprint,
(10:10):
My Footprint, and then curbing it the paperback at a
different title and a bonus chapter because I don't know,
I didn't really pay attention. Okay, all right. And then
you also, Johnny told me how to podcast for a while.
It's coming back. It's called by the Way. Can I
come kidding me? I'd love for you to be on it. Okay,
(10:35):
good date? All right? So then when did you start
with Larry? When did the Larry David? Larry David and
I knew each other in New York in the eighties
and we were acquaintances. And then I approached him about
an idea that I had that was based on working
with Dennis, Larry and John Stewart on their stand up specials,
(10:56):
and that turned into Curb your Enthusiasm. I went to
the right guy. Yes, you'd changed my life, and let's
talk for a moment. I think I'm one episode behind.
But this season and the Harvey Weinstein, Yeah, I mean,
but you know what's you know what's it's it's unfortunate
for me because first off, right now he should throw
away the key. No one ever mistook me for him,
(11:19):
and Larry said to me, begin to see, hey, do
you mind if we do this? And I thought, you
know what, what the hell? And now no one mistakes
me for him? But people think it's fun. It's cool
if you come up and go like you just did.
I love the Harvey. Weinst something that was hilarious. But
people come up and they go, hey, Harvey, what are
you doing here? And I say, why don't you just
call me? Because why would you why would you refer
(11:44):
to me as one of the dregs of the universe,
like a horrible And I did a project with him
once and he was evil. I don't I mean that guy.
Don't call me that. It's not funny. And I say
to them, are you trying to be funny? Because you're failing.
I don't mind someone it was a funny bit. Yeah,
and it's over, so stop leave me alone. And I
(12:04):
tell you the thing is too. I always tell my
children take what you do seriously, don't take yourself seriously.
This has put me on the verge of failing at
that because I do get upset when people call me
are but it's this too. Show pass were almost no
one's going to think you're him, if he's in prison
or if he kills yourself, You're good. No, they're making
(12:25):
a joke, right, I know, but it's not funny and
it's not cool. Although there is this picture that I'm
thinking a funny Instagram. So I was unaware. I was.
I knew about Curb, obviously I knew. I. Oh, there's
a new mat about you. We'll talk about that a second,
but I want to talk about your co starring. Really
almost this huge, huge part that you hadn't started. But
(12:47):
I wasn't makeup for four hours in London. I thought, you,
this is Cats. Actually, thank god I wasn't a Cats
that way. You can never live that down anyhow. I
thought that I would get, you know, three seconds four
seconds in the background. J J likes to do that,
and my former assistant, who is one of my best friends,
Michelle rej One, produced the movie. So her and j
(13:11):
J to my closest friends, give me three seconds? What
they just cut you out completely? No, I'm I'm I
see myself, but I'm gonna be honest. I think two
tenths of a second, do you have a doll? They
made a laser thing of me. There there may be
a dollar of me something that would be good. I mean,
(13:31):
this isn't your best. Look. I have to say four hours.
All those kids in Florida. Now you got horns. I
mean now you could say, oh, yeah, we do. One
time I played in Michigan and someone rubbed my head. Yeah,
what are they doing? So I have two kids with
two different dads. One dad's Jewish, the other dad's not Jewish.
(13:51):
Both kids are Jewish. Because I'm then, you're still married
either one. I wasn't married to either one. I'm kind
of slutty. You've never heard this about me. So no,
I wasn't married to either one. But I think it's
it back, you're kind of let it. I lived with
both of them. We were in monogamous relationships. You're killing
Daniel over there, but he yes, because I'm so pristine.
(14:13):
That's calling me slattie. I think is just throwing him
for loop. But in any event, baby daddy too. Okay,
So from Kentucky. Okay, right, So we take Jack our
baby when Jack was probably not his birthdays in December,
so he wasn't even one yet. His birth we took
him for Thanksgiving. First first Thanksgiving, This little baby with
big blue eyes. I mean he looks like arian Nation baby.
(14:35):
We take him there and all the family were having
you know, lunch in Kentucky, which they called dinner, which
confused me right off the bat. And all the family
and all of the neighbors were all there. We actually
had it at the church that's where we had our Thanksgiving,
and it was really weird. Every single dish had marshmallows
in it, which I still to this day don't understand.
But a couple of them, nice meaning well people said,
(14:56):
so I heard your jew. Does that mean the babies
a Jew? And they did. They were just said. They
couldn't have been nicer because a joke. No, they just
were not wasn't making a joke. They didn't know the
idea that someone would think that Jews have horns beyond anything.
Two this was for me, It was long ago, but
(15:17):
still but then you let well, I didn't think I'm
going to be a Jewish alien you are and yet
you are. Okay, tell us a little bit about mad
about you? Because I watched this Why what's there to
tell you? It already air? It's already was on. Did
you like it? I love Paul and Helen. Okay, John
pank Owen, it's already air. But that's the thing about
(15:40):
The Dreaming Now, it's it's still available. It's still available.
You play the character I used to play on the show,
was on the show for the last three seasons. Did Area, Yes?
I like Hankers Area do yeah. I like him a lot.
It's a good guy. Okay, there going to be. That's
what I was about to go. No, don't like him
like that for me too. He's one of Baby Daddy
(16:04):
One's clients, so that's why I've known him forever. Is
an entertainment attorney. No, don't cringe, he's th being a
divorce attorney. I don't know. This is supposedly dropping on
Super Tuesday in California. Then you got Super Tuesday in Chicago,
your hometown, which is was that San Patrick's day. They're
(16:25):
going to make up. They're gonna put the That's the
seventeenth of March. So at some point in between this,
if you guys are listening, I want Jeff Garland, I
want you to tell everyone get out there and vote.
Oh my god, yes, get out there and vote. That's
the only thing politically will ever say yes is go
and vote. No, I don't care what you think. We
kind of care. We kind of care a little what
(16:46):
you think. Well see, I don't, okay, but I'm all
for letting people whatever their thing is. I have friends
that voted for Trump, and I'm all for them. I'm
not all for but yes, you have to help. I don't,
by the way, I understand why. I get it all
and they're really smart people. Are they going to vote
(17:06):
again for him? Do you think none of my business?
I don't ask them. Yeah, I just you know, I
only recently. I just all right, So I only started
talking about Trump on stage the last time I did
stand up and guess what I got? Applause and laughs.
You know why I approached it from the insane side
(17:27):
of things. I approached it from finding humor in it,
which I do a content machine. I mean, but I
laugh at it. I don't get upset about it, even
though I sound upset right now. I laugh at all
of it, and I know people listening are like, what's
there to laugh at? That's my way of dealing. I left.
I left at all tragedy. So this is this is
(17:49):
getting great feedback beyond anything I could imagine. I did
two shows in Chicago. It last June, and the first
one I had stories and kind of an idea of
what I was going to talk about beginning, middle and end,
and I did that the first show and it went great.
I am immensely successful. I am, and uh, it's true,
(18:15):
Uh immensely successful. But yet you think it'd be good
enough being me? Every single day numerous people come up
to me and they say, what's Larry David really like?
And I walked off and I went wow. Then when
(18:35):
I went back up again, I went, nothing will be
the same, and I went nuts and I improvised, and
pretty much the what aired is what I improvised. And
there are stories in there that I've told before, but
I had no idea what direction would order now has
that is that something I could never do stand up?
Is that something in your process that you get done
(18:57):
in the past you could do stand up because you're
a lawyer. What I mean by that is sometimes things
are like I go up with nothing planned right literally,
I walk on stage and I usually have them play
a different song, nothing too cool when I walk up,
and then whatever that makes me think of I start
talking and before you know what I've done an hour
in ten minutes. Now you being in situations where things
(19:20):
fall in your lap and you go, oh, I have
to adapt. I have to figure this out on my feet.
Right now, I well know and I do a lot
of speaking. Well that could stop you by the way
you do great Q and A. I have my moments.
My point is that what I'm wondering is so you
preferred the second one even though you were dead on
(19:42):
in the first one. Second one, I like to say,
I captured lightning in a bottle. The second one is
exactly what I do and how I do it. Okay, okay,
And what separates me from other comedians is that your love,
Like if you had to pick one and you could
only do the one, whether it is the directing, the writing,
the executive producing, or stand up, and thank god you
(20:04):
don't have to, But if you did, is that really
the thing that like, I guess stand up because it's
I think of it. I say it a reaction over.
Whenever I do curb, whenever I make a movie, whatever,
it's always waiting for people to see it and react
to it. So it's not as my favorite thing outside
of actually doing stand up is writing. And then it
(20:26):
would be directing. Okay, so they acting kind of Do
you like being on curb? That's almost that's because I
improvise and I do love acting. But as an actor,
you're only as good as the story you're take. So
whoever gives you the material, that's what I'm is only
as good an actor as the material I'm giving. You
(20:48):
give me crappy material, I stink. I've been a villain
on bay Watch. Trust me. It's my best acting and
my worst acting. My worst acting because it's Baywatch, but
my best acting because I had a lot the scenes
with David Hessloff and I didn't laugh, and all I
wanted in my mind, I'm thinking is hey, you're David.
(21:09):
Oh my god, that's David Hassloff, and I'm the villain
and your Mitch and you're mad at me? Was Pham around,
Yes she was, Yes, I had. I had a fantasy
scene with her. Um. She was supposed to make out
with me, and unfortunately, or fortunately, I guess it was
scheduled first up, so she didn't know me. Later in
(21:31):
the week she said, I would have totally made out
with you at this point, but you know it's already
too But she liked me, you know, and days, and
I don't. I don't want to be involved in that.
I don't. Beautiful woman. I represented her ex husband twice
(21:52):
with her, remember that she married Rick Solomon a second time.
Represent Rick Solomon. Yeah, that was his name to all
of our friend Yeah. I knew him because his daughter
went to nursery school with my son, and I'd see
him all the time around the time that the stuff
came out. Yeah. Yeah, A big buller. Wrong. I think
(22:12):
big bull I like big buller wrong too. Let's talk
about your relationship on curb with your wife. She's difficult, yes,
and you are this guy, you're you're still funny, and
you're a manager, which I think in Hollywood, especially with
a client like Larry, would be difficult. So you're playing
this manager you've got You've got him as your client,
and then you've also got Clive Owen, who's a good client,
(22:33):
I guess, and then you got Susie. Let's talk about
that just for a moment. When you get in your
head for that marriage relations what's great is the conflict
makes it funny. Um, Susie is one of my best friends. Uh,
we don't have the same relationship off camera. Is she
like that? No, she's become older, she's become more like that,
(22:56):
but she is not like what's really name? Her name
is Susie. Okay, all of us have the same Okay, Okay, Cheryl, Jeff,
Larry good point, that has Larry David right, Yeah, but
a fictional Larry David. Now, if I went in real life,
I would not be married to her. I would have
been divorced the long time ago, and you would have
(23:18):
been representing because that woman I would have won. You
would have needed I wouldn't need protection in every direction. Yes, yeah,
she probably even in the show told me don't ever
ask me for a divorce because I will fuck you
so bad. I believe that. But she didn't try to
kill you in that episode. But he did not try
to kill you. But my sense of Susie was, ultimately
(23:40):
that was what would happen. It wouldn't be a divorce death.
It would be yes, it would be not pretty crimes
of passion. Yes, she's not from my no, no, you
just do you know, but still funny, very funny. Yes,
I like that show, and I think I'm going to
have to get myself my own MAGA hat because that's
(24:01):
that's me. By the way, in Los Angeles, that's exactly
what happens. Yes, at the sushi bar. I'm spoiling it.
But guys, it came out like this is already fifth
catch up. I don't feel too bad. Yes, a lot
of stuff that would be me. I'm a little you know,
missentropic like that. All right, Johnny wants to talk to
you a little bit about Super Tuesday and what's going
(24:23):
to happen. I will talk to you about Super Tuesdays.
So it's today, UM in fourteen states, which include Alabama, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota,
and North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Uta, Vermont, and Virginia
all hold their presidential primaries today, UM. And then in Illinois,
as Laura was saying earlier, it's two weeks from now
(24:45):
on the seventeen. So the Democratic nominee is going to
be officially selected in July in Milwaukee. And to win
the nomination on the first ballot, a candidate must have
locked up support from a simple majority of almost four
thousand pledge of delegates. Thank you, Johnny, just go vote,
Can you just please go vote? The sixteenth century proverb
(25:07):
all's fair in love and war speaks volumes about human relationships,
and so often I counsel clients not to expect normal
behavior as they're going through a divorce, during a time
of transition and upheaval. Everything is fair, and frankly, nothing
is fair. Divorce and possibly politics are the great equalizers.
They both can be fucking terrifying. But don't lose your
(25:28):
sense of humor because you're gonna need it. I'm Laura Wasser,
and this is the All's Fair Podcast, and we're speaking
with our man in Chicago, in l a, Jeff Garland,
about his new Netflix special. I have a question for you.
It might wait for my podcast, but I would keep it. Okay, well, no,
go ahead, you please. I came up with an idea.
It's a compliment to you. Okay. Have you ever like,
(25:52):
you know, represented a woman right and her husband on
the other side gets a crush on you. Yes, because
in my own client, I have a great story that client.
That's a different thing because you have intimate moments. But
but the other side, right, I'm great in a room.
So a lot of times what will happen is if
(26:13):
we're having a settlement conference or foreign court. A lot
of times I will talk to the guy if if
I'm representing the wife, and if I'm representing the guy,
I'll talk to the wife too. I figure out a
way and it's not fake, it's really true because I
want them to resolve it. So if I'm representing the
wife and the husband's the breadwinner, and if I have
any moment of like attraction or whatever, I will go
with that. I'll take one for the team and I
(26:35):
will say, dude, I get it. I'm the breadwinner and
one of my relationships, I have to write a check
every month. I understand, I do. I mean, I can't help.
There are a lot of men who would react positively,
and if they don't, I might have to shift, you know.
But the fact is, I want him to understand that
I get where he's coming from. I want him to
(26:57):
understand that what you said, because a lot of people
don't get like this is somebody you're going to be
dealing with for the rest of your life. I'm I'm
out soon. And so I'm married, by the way for
over years. So it's like, where else is she going
to be taken care of? Exactly? And and and more
important than that, she takes care of you in a
lot of ways. To you, guys, are gonna be together
(27:18):
when your son's walked down. The had a problem yesterday,
I called her, what kind of a problem. I was
talking to her about that and she called me down.
That's that's what we are here for as family members.
That's what we do. And when the kids, you're gonna
be I mean, this is how my parents were. That's
how I knew. My parents split up and they were
always best friends and my dad they both married other people,
(27:40):
but they still spoke several times a week. When I
had my babies, they were both in the hospital with
their respective others, but still, And that's that's what I
saw growing up, so I knew that that was the
right way to do it. Now I'm being paid this
huge amount of money per hour to help people, and
I don't see it as like stirring the pot making
more conflict. We're trying to resolve problems. So I say
(28:02):
to people all the time, this is this is your wife,
this is this is your husband, This is the person
that bore your children or that was standing next to
and something get into the cheaper than me. You must
talk down some of your clients with bitterness, like, whoa,
this is not helping you. Well, how about you want
to pay me or you want to pay her? Probably
(28:24):
you're gonna paying both of us. So how about if
you just pay her, you don't pay me. But we did.
I did have this case a long time ago, this
guy Steve, and he was an agent at CIA, and
he was a real he was like the guy right,
and he had totally cheated on his wife and he
gave her harpies and it was really ugly. And I
was I was a baby attorney and I was and
(28:45):
I was hot then, and so we Steve and I
will not tolerate. You are at okay, you should have
seen me shut your grandma's balls. You are at your
there's you divorced attorney right now, Steve and I walk
(29:11):
into the room. Wife is already sitting there with her
female attorney, and there's a retired judge because we're going
to try to settle it right. Steve and I walk
in and I say, Hi, I'm Laura Waster. I put
my hand out to shake totally ignores the hand, looks
at him and goes So, Steve, you're sucking hurt too,
and I was like, oh, oh no, wait a minute.
I'm like, think fast, I am actually a lesbian. I'm
in a committed lesbian relationship. And she looked at him
(29:32):
and she goes nice. These were in the days where
there wasn't so much switching around, so we settle. In
the case. I didn't make out with her lawyer, which
was uncomfortable, but it was okay. I did do that afternoon, Larry.
I mean, look, you do what needs to be done, right. Well, yeah,
(29:55):
where are your boys living now? One lives with me,
one lives with her. Okay, really only because it just
works better that way. But I'm close with both my sons.
But well that's a whole other discussion. The younger one
might the older one. The older one has the same
skill set I do, and I dropped out of college.
I never liked it, so I kind of feel like
(30:17):
I can't push him. I can only but Larry, he's
been on Curb, he's been on the Goldberg's and I
did not ask him either time. Larry wanted him on
because Larry said his name is James. James is the
funniest kid I've ever met, you know, he's really gifted.
He's really gifted. Good that I believe. So I'm madly
(30:37):
in love with both my boys, badly as you should be. Yes,
and I like that. You guys, do we do this
to family dinners? Yeah? Well without it doubt? Yeah, yes,
without it doubt we have to. And also in terms
of being involved with my sons, my wife and I
are on the same page. We have discussions all the time,
how we're doing this, what we're gonna do. It's true, good,
(31:00):
I like it. No, does she date? None of my business? Okay,
I don't know she is not. But I asked her
once and I was told none of my business. I
will never ask again. Interesting, Okay, would you share with
her if she asked me? No? Just would you ever say, Martha,
I gotta like this woman. I don't know. No, no,
(31:22):
no no. If she wanted to know and she was
comfortable with them, I would say, with anyone that's close
to me, and obviously she's closer than anyone. I'm very
transparent and very I'm good with sharing information with anyone
who's close to me. But I also don't want to
hurt her. Got it? Okay? At all? Zero? And right now,
(31:45):
I think that would be hurtful. Not that I don't
have a girlfriend or anything, but if I did, it
would be a little much. Okay, how do you how
do you recommend people listening get to that place if
they're in the process of a divorce, get to which place?
My place? It's just who I am. I don't think
you get to that place. I think that you're either
(32:05):
a schmucker or not. You're either thoughtful and kind or
you're not. But I would say to anyone if I
was giving them advice, be as nice as you can.
Don't be bitter. I don't care if they cheated on you, whatever,
because the better you. It's just my guess, and you're
an expert. But I would think that you get to
(32:26):
a healthier place by being as healthy as you can
be as the process is going on. So that's my
gut feeling. But I just do what's right for me.
I don't tell anybody how to live or what I
do is right. What I do is right for me.
What do you say to your women friends that have
these shitty exes? You just listen or do you mean,
(32:47):
oh I listen, I back them up. I do anything
I can to help like literally from taking them grocery
shopping and paying because I know they're like being how little. Yes, literally,
I'll take them grocery shopping, I'll hold their hand. I'll
(33:07):
be a great friend, a great support and if they
want to ask me anything. But it really is most
of all just being able to listen and listening, and
that's what I do. That's when we talk a lot
on this show about support systems and how to support,
how to find a support system. So many people are
going through this and they don't have anywhere to turn.
It's called Jeff Garland everybody that stand up shows. Take
(33:32):
you till then I want to talk about the show,
the photo show. It's called fig Bowl of Wonderful at
the like a gallery which is in Los Angeles. Now,
were you always a photographer? I'm always interested in photography.
Was in my My grandfather's brothers were photographers. That being said,
it's something that I got interested in, you know, maybe
(33:54):
twelve years ago, thirteen years ago, and I had no
I'm going to be the best photographer. But over time,
in terms of my approach, my equipment, my feeling as
I did it, I suddenly am a photographer. Do it
like yeah, I use like a cameras and by the way,
it's at the like a gallery. I use like a cameras,
(34:14):
and I pay full price for everything nice and even
perhaps more importantly, part of the proceeds from print sales
will go to Mr Garland's cancer charity F Cancer, which
is www. Dot Let's f cancer dot com. Yes, why
did that become an interest? I'm on the board. Both
my parents died of cancer. Everyone knows someone who dies
(34:35):
of cancer, and uh uh when I heard the name cancer,
I laughed, couldn't and I'm like, And then I hosted
their event and then they asked me to be on
the board. So I love doing that. I basically now
I'm taking a break since I filmed my special. That
all I'm doing stand up wise now are benefits. Really
(34:55):
have got like a half a dozen benefits over the
next month or so. And then other than that, I'm
taking naps, a lot of naps. Well, you need to rest,
you need to rest your voice, and so you're not
performing around here. No, no, not, I'm really sad about you.
Don't seem really sad. I'm sad that you. I don't
think you're beautiful. I do think I just think that
(35:17):
was more beautiful when I was Johnny, Do I think
I'm beautiful? She still thinks she don't worry. I'm definitely
living with some delusion, but they're not. Are so much
more beautiful than girls. Women who have lived a life,
Women in their forties and fifties are the most attractive,
(35:39):
most beautiful because there's a lot. It's like a bumble
ad for Jeff Gonlan. I dude, I know I think
it's I don't use any of that stuff. No, I
don't think you ought to know. I'm not go out
into the world and women market. Evidently, the Whole food
I love it. I'm anyone at Whole Foods. Come up
(36:01):
to me at Whole Foods. If if you're over forty
with with with a shitty ex husband, just walk up
to me. I'll buy your groceries, all right. So wait,
are you Chicago? What's the team? The baseball team for Cubs? Cubs?
I'm a big Cubs are very yes, but you know
(36:22):
that our Dodgers are gonna like because we got Mookie.
Now you knew this, right, who's arguing with you? Okay,
just just aking. No, I think they'll be they will
be nothing short of ridiculous. The Yankees should be pretty great. Yeah,
but and I like the Dodgers. I like that. Also,
my favorite manager was the Cubs Maryagor Joe Matten just
(36:42):
went to the Angels. I'm excited about going to some
of those games. I love baseball. Well, I'm a Clippers
season ticket holder. Okay, okay, I used to like the
Clippers to when DeAndre Jordan was there. Are you friends
with DeAndre? Are you? Oh? My god? We should call him?
He's great anymore nets now right? He's in Brooklyn. Yeah,
(37:02):
but he writes me he's watching herb this year. Okay, good, Yeah,
we're gonna have to go. The three of us go
get some drinks or something. Did you drink? Okay? Well
fed until I injured my throat? Did that cause it? No?
But it's not helping so for right now, and thank god,
I don't have to do it. Indica helps me quite everything, right,
(37:25):
but I can't do it right now. I'm protecting my throat.
How about eating it? But yeah, but generally that's sugary
and I don't need sugar. What about what about like
the drops like that? That's fantastic? D Johnny to self
not CBD. He actually needs the alright, So again I
don't really care that much about baseball. Johnny wanted me
(37:47):
to ask you about the Chicago Cubs. I guess leading,
of course. Yeah, that makes a pretty great and by
the way, Dave Roberts, I've gotten to know, Johnny, tell
me one player, one player you're going to ask give
us one more of an Athletics supporter than you get it.
You don't know the team not so well. They have
the second best player in baseball? Who is? What's that?
(38:10):
Who is? Betts just came And I only know this
because my proud who was the best player in baseball
is on the Angels. So when the Angels play the Dodgers,
that's pretty exciting. Daniel back there, it's just in Heaven,
I know, all right. So this was the lead into
(38:31):
my favorite thing to do is practice law. Also not true,
but okay, Johnny, what is your favorite thing? I love
practicing law, but it's not my favorite thing to do.
The fair thing to do swim in the ocean. And
you don't get paid for that. I know that doesn't Yes,
the ocean is good. In any event, I do like
practicing law, and as part of practicing law. We have
(38:52):
something that we do on the show that are called
the interrogatories, which you might have needed to do in
your divorce. You probably don't remember because the lawyers did them.
But Jeff, yeah, do you promise to tell the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as long
as it doesn't embarrass my ex I'm oh, god, no,
I wouldn't do something. No, no, I'm saying that that
I will embarrass. By the way, being a comedian, when
I go on stage, you know, people use the recorders.
(39:14):
I'm never worried that I'm going to say something ignorant,
you know, racist home That's not who I am. But
I will say something stupid. I will say something to
offend somebody, and I'm sorry, you know. So right now,
I don't know what I'm gonna say, but I'm gonna
say it. Okay, So, which relationship in your life has
had the most profound effect on you my children? Becoming
(39:40):
a dad? Yeah, becoming a dad unequivocally. What's your favorite
love song? Wow? That's um. Can I have one second? Okay,
I'm gonna tell you. I want to be I want
to be exactly right because I have I love music
so much. I'm gonna go to my playlist and I
know which one it is and it'll be on there.
Oh see, right now, right now, I'm going through all
(40:03):
these uh songs that make me really happy. Oh I'm
gonna go with Golden Lady by Stevie Wonder. Oh nice, Yeah,
this would be my I was going with this one
right now, but I have like dozens of others, usually
from the world of seventies souls. Although you know what
(40:23):
a song I do love and one of the great
moments was dancing with a woman to the song Harvest
Moon by Neil Young. What is the one piece of
advice you would share with either and this is a
your twenty something, your old self, or someone following your footsteps,
So this could be you or one of your boys. Well,
the truth that I would say to them when they're
(40:45):
younger is it's not you. I remember all these things
would happen, you know, mostly with women, and I always
thought it was me. There wasn't one time I didn't
think it was me. What's wrong with me? What did
I do? Which is really good for self reflection, but
at a certain point it's very self destructive and not
(41:05):
right now by the way, um where there are things
that were me sure, but overall, that's what I would
tell my younger self. You know what you're dying from
right now, what you're beating yourself up from. It's not
you like that, and that can that's for a lot
of it. By the way, you don't need to be
in your twenties, that's you know the heart. Look, I'm
(41:26):
fifty seven years old, and the one thing that I
know in life that has proven to be true is
to be kind to yourself. Everyone says that, but the
reality is it's extraordinary, extraordinarily hard. It's so difficult to
be kind to yourself. I mean, how can you go.
We can not say you fucking idiot to yourself, you
(41:48):
know what I mean. Like, there's so many times and
I think that that one before that is being kind
to yourself like that, that it's not you, it's not
you being kind to your self. And and again that
is something a lot of our listeners, if they're in
the middle of a breakup, need to hear. But by
the way, you do need to do self examination and
then maybe probably come to it's not you. I like that. Yeah, okay,
(42:13):
do you like romantic comedies. Love romhead of comedy. Which
is your favor? You could watch it on repeat? Well,
I'm very much into Um the Apartment by Billy Wilder.
I like Old Preston Scourges, Ernst Lubitch, Billy Wilder, Frank Capra.
I love my romantic comedies. Well yeah, but really pre sixties,
(42:35):
although I really loved My favorite one of all time
is The Heartbreak Kid or Charles Groden. Yes, got so
good they tried to do or remake it wasn't crazy,
that's not it wasn't. Yeah. I was a rhetoric major
at cal Okay. That was they had that, and I
took a class. Hilarious. I took a class, and what
(42:56):
I loved about it was you could really be a dilettante,
like you declared a major, but and really like you
could take rhetoric of of avant garde poetry. And I
took the rhetoric of Preston Sturgist romantic comedies. That's all
we did all semester was watched him and figure out
the argument that Sturgis was making and what he was
trying to teach you. How great is that? How great
is that? As a nineteen year old to be able
(43:16):
that you watch these By the way, I wish I
was in that class ye for that semester, and that
you at nineteen, but not now. I would have liked
you and it would have worked out, and it would
have probably not been you. But I can't say that.
How did you and Marla meet? By the way, she
(43:39):
was my agent in Chicago. Moved back to Chicago from
New York and she was my agent. And she likes
to joke that she got more than she's adorable? So
did she? Was she your agent? Then when you moved
out here, so she stopped agent? She was? She was,
She became a casting director. She worked out here, She
(43:59):
cast the original, She would worked with Alison Jones, She
did the original pilot of the Office. She did um
the forty year old Virgin, did a lot of stuff.
Yeah nice, All right, Tony, Do you have anything else? No?
I think you guys covered. So those are the questions,
those are the difficult questions. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I'd like to give people an opportunity to look at
(44:20):
them before so they can come up with the song
and stuff. I mean, you'd be amazed. Some people are like,
oh no, I had too many, too many I love
you know, yeah, because when I was looking at those songs,
because those of you said love song. And there were
two songs in that list that I love, which is
one is What's going On by Marvin Gay and another
(44:41):
one is That's the Way of the World by Earth,
Wind and Fire and so. But I don't know if
either of those are really loved anything wrong. Certainly have
sex to Marvin Gay song, yes, well, I could have
sex to any song at all, so, but rage against them.
She what's really funny is then you like laughing while
(45:04):
having sex. That is true too, yeah, because that is
one of the funniest things. If you can have sex
just like the most ridiculous music. There's something funny about that,
is there is? That's true? All right, Jeff, I want
to tell everyone where they can find you, thank you
so much for joining us today, and all's fair. How
can they keep up with you online? TV? What's your
what's your handles and everything? Well, I only have one thing,
(45:26):
and we have two things on the internet. I have
at Jeff Garlin at us Instagram and I have now
I just start at the beginning. You're Jeff Garland dot Com.
Dot com. Jeff Garwan dot com has got all my information,
all right, And then go go watch our Man in
Chicago and Netflix. Please, I'm very proud of it, and
nothing in it will become dated, so you can watch
(45:46):
it a year from their friends and yeah, okay, and
would you please go vote? Go vote, you guys, really
go vote, go vote, but go vote. And by the way,
is today the deadline for doing the mail voting things done?
You gotta go. I'll go and when people see you there,
that's going to be a good By the way, I've
(46:07):
never voted by mail. Everyone always tells me too. I
never have and I will start. But you know why
I didn't because I like taking my kids. I like
taking my kids and that can be part of our things. Yes,
not so much in the bikini, I say. And by
the way, you can also find out about me on
Liz Carrie's and puts me up there. Yes, and she
(46:31):
was a guest on our show a couple of weeks ago.
And she's funny. She's funnier, not even on the show.
She's the funniest. She is the funniest. There's only one
woman that I know that might be funnier than her
my dear friends, who makes me laugh so hard I cry.
But guess what, Liz. When I spend time with Liza
reminds me of the times I spent with Amy. Liz
(46:53):
is magic. She is high Liz. Thank you for getting
Jeff on our show, and thank you for listening. Everyone
leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and if you are
someone you know is representing themselves after divorce, check out
our masterclass and Next Chapter series dot com. Let's do
This again next Tuesday. M
Hi there. It's me Laura Wasser, the divorce attorney and
the founder of It's over Easy, the online divorce service.
I've been practicing family law for over twenty years, and
I've worked on thousands of divorces, shepherding people through what
may be one of the most terrifying times in their lives.
(00:20):
Along the way, I often have to remind people to
lower their expectations when dealing with matters of the heart.
Rules simply don't apply because all's fair in love and war.
So welcome to the All's Fair Podcasts. Fasten your seatbelts
and let's go. Hey everyone, I'm Laura Wasser and I'm
Johnny Rains, and we're so excited about today's episode of
(00:43):
All's Fair. In my years of practicing family law, I've
seen it all, from crimes of passion like cutting one
arm or leg off of every item in his or
her closet, to completely inappropriate social media posting and more.
One of the main reasons we created this podcast is
to open up a conversation not only about the things
people do for love and money, but how people reset
(01:04):
and move on. In their next chapters, our conversations about
relationships run the gamut this season, from the inner personal
to our relationships with money. But today I'd like to
ask you a big favor, Laura. What we've been speaking
this season a lot about our relationships with one another,
but what about our relationships on a macro level, specifically
our relationships with the world around us. Today is Super Tuesday,
(01:27):
which means there are primaries in fourteen states, including California
and the American Caucuses that are voting. So I think
we should speak a little bit about, dare I say it? Politics? Okay,
so it's probably not a huge surprise what our politics
are Johnny and mine because we're both gay black men.
But in any Republican and but in any event, wherever,
(01:49):
whatever your political leaning, if you don't vote, do not
complain about it afterwards. That's what I have to say.
And there was an interesting article in last Sunday's l
A Times that Adam schiff Are, one of our congressional reps,
wrote about what Congress needs to start doing to enact
reforms that will prevent presidential abuses of power. Imagine that
(02:11):
that we've seen recently, so it's kind of worth reading.
I know people are kind of starting to get a
little bit interested, and they say time will tell and
that time heals all wounds. But something else that's absolutely
necessary and good times and bad and I've definitely found
it necessary over the past few years is humor and
the ability to dance in the rain, as one great
woman I know put it, and believe, no matter where
(02:33):
we land at the end of Super Tuesday, there will
be something to make us laugh, and it may just
be this big bowl of wonderful Our guest today, how
about that? Thank you? Our guest today is Jeff Garland.
And I want to just give a little and not
that My assumption is that nobody knows who I am.
If someone does, great you are, you never lose by
(02:54):
assuming that no one knows who you are. I was
telling my best from Melissa that I was going to
interview Jeff Garland. She goes, oh, that's too bad. I
was hoping you could get that guy, Jeff Garland, the
one that's on Curb And I was like, no, his
name is Jeff Garland. That is who I'm interviewing. Who
did you think I was interviewing then? And she goes, oh,
I don't know some guy named Jeff Garland. This is
your best friend I know. So in addition to performing
(03:18):
stand up comedy, his new Netflix stand up special is
available globally. And my assistant told me that it's really
funny that they actually did the improv one, that that's
the one that they're playing because it was so good.
She loved it. Okay, I'm gonna have to watch it.
It's available globally on Netflix. And he is a writer,
a producer, a director. He also was a photographer and
(03:38):
in Los Angeles he's had a show that's been at
the like a gallery that's run for a few weeks.
You can still go see it. Um and he has
I've seen some of the shots because I saw them
on Liz Carrey's Instagram. A lot of behind the scenes
stuff from Curb. Yes, so that's fun. And he also
can be seen on ABC's The Goldberg's and he's the
EP and co star of the critically acclaimed Clube Curb
(03:59):
Your enthusiast them. So here we go. This is the
end of the intro Ladies and gentlemen and gender fluids.
I'm grinning from ear to ear and about to introduce
you to Jeff Garland. Welcome, all's fair, Welcome, It is
all fair, so fair. So you were born in Chicago.
So was my mama? Okay, yes, she was Skokie. Yeah.
(04:19):
I grew up right next to Skokie, called Morton Grove,
correctly next to Skokie. My brother was born in Skokie.
My first home after I was born in the city
of Chicago was in Skokie. So Niles Township. What's that
Niles is? It's west of Skokie. Okay. So I know
(04:39):
you're good people. That's my point here. Good Chicago, You're
good people. Yes. And you went to Hebrew School and
then in sixth grade you moved to Florida. How was that?
That was rather shocking. I was the first Jew many
young children saw, and they told you, I'm sure I
never saw. Yes. And I got in a lot of fights, Yes, yes,
(05:02):
I was, but close about big I am. Now, I've
always been a large person, and but I used my
humor to get out of a lot of fights. It
worked good, all right. So then you went to the
University of Miami and in nineteen you married. Yes, and
you guys have two kids. How old are they now?
(05:22):
They are nineteen and twenty three? Okay, so they're adults.
And you guys recently separated in her in the process
of finishing the end of our divorce. That's wonderful. It's good.
And you told me before we came on the air
that it has been a pretty amicable process. It's not
even pretty amical, very amicable, and it will be amicable
because I love her good. I love her madly. I do.
(05:44):
I just you know, sometimes you can't be with someone anymore.
But I love her and I respect her, and I
also know that I'm going to take care of her
for the rest of her life good. And she knows that.
I hope that she does. I tell her all the time,
but you never know what someone's deepest insecurities or fears, right, Well,
(06:07):
you just got to keep proving it to her. I
told her she doesn't have to. I want to be
friends with her forever and I love her, but she
doesn't have to. But I'll still take care of well.
You know why, because you guys are family. That's how
I looked at married a children and I and her.
We spend time together, we have meals together. We all
(06:30):
love each other, you know, so my love is never stopped.
Good and you're working more now than ever you would
really be able to take care of her. Yes, I
will take care of her. Yes, fantastic. This is what
we promote on It's over easy, which is which is
what you know. It's unfortunate because I have some friends
(06:50):
women that numerous women that are divorced with a child
with an asshole for next Yes, a for an X,
A sociopath for an X. Yeah, it's kind of fucking ridiculous.
Excuse my language, and it makes me crazy. And not
(07:12):
only that, but whatever stress I would face for giving
a lot of money to my ex is gonna be
a lot less stress than I face nickel and diming
every day and putting my ex through hell and putting
my children through hell, and therefore putting myself through hell.
I don't want any part of that, So explain to me.
(07:33):
You must know guys, your poker games whatever. I don't play,
not one of those guys. I thought you don't you
play with Rich eyes and those guys f forget I've
never I've never played poker with Rich I love him.
Don't you have the guy perspective going? Why do I
have to pay for the rest of my No? If
you really are just and again, are you gender neutrals.
If the woman was the breadwinner, you believe she should
(07:54):
do the same. Yes, Oh okay, let's hear it. Well. No,
because I also I also have a dear friend that
made a lot of money and her husband's a bum
and she has to pay for him for everything, and
I don't believe in that. So it should be a
different standard. Should always win, women should always I love
this guy. I really believe that women are better than men,
(08:17):
that they should always win. This is a very man
I think this is because you're back on the dating senior. No, no,
and I'm not on the dating scene. Date some but
that's not my m osip with mother. My mother she's dead,
so unless I talked to I was. My mother was
a wonderful woman who lived vicariously through me. She was
(08:41):
she was. She was an acting student at U in
Chicago at the Good In the Theater, and she gave
up her career to be a mother. So she got
a lot of kicks and I was really happy to
share that with her. I love my mother like crazy,
and my father, I think and my father about My
father was a thoughtful, kind man who never was abusive
(09:05):
to my mother ever. For a millisecond, and were they
married till the end. Till the end. They both died
within a few years of each other. And yeah, so
my notes here, Johnny tells me that you knew at
the age of eight, after you saw Jemmy DURRANTI performed,
that you wanted to be a comedian. I went with
my parents. They took me on the way home. I
asked them if that was a job. They said, yes,
(09:26):
that was a job. Therefore I wanted it, wanted, and
I stayed and I've stayed with that the whole time.
And then you moved out here in the eighties. I
moved out here for the first time in the late eighties.
And then I came back a end in the nineties.
And you lived with Conan O'Brien. I lived with I
lived with j Garofalo. I lived with ConA O'Brien in Chicago.
I sublet to John Stewart. We all, like, you know,
(09:48):
I I have all these friends that I was friends
with when we all were broke, all of us. That's nice. Yeah,
and you see each other still, yes, yes, I of
all my friends yet okay. And then you had a
book that you released. I guess it was ten years ago.
Now it was February. Yeah, it was called My Footprint,
(10:10):
My Footprint, and then curbing it the paperback at a
different title and a bonus chapter because I don't know,
I didn't really pay attention. Okay, all right. And then
you also, Johnny told me how to podcast for a while.
It's coming back. It's called by the Way. Can I
come kidding me? I'd love for you to be on it. Okay,
(10:35):
good date? All right? So then when did you start
with Larry? When did the Larry David? Larry David and
I knew each other in New York in the eighties
and we were acquaintances. And then I approached him about
an idea that I had that was based on working
with Dennis, Larry and John Stewart on their stand up specials,
(10:56):
and that turned into Curb your Enthusiasm. I went to
the right guy. Yes, you'd changed my life, and let's
talk for a moment. I think I'm one episode behind.
But this season and the Harvey Weinstein, Yeah, I mean,
but you know what's you know what's it's it's unfortunate
for me because first off, right now he should throw
away the key. No one ever mistook me for him,
(11:19):
and Larry said to me, begin to see, hey, do
you mind if we do this? And I thought, you
know what, what the hell? And now no one mistakes
me for him? But people think it's fun. It's cool
if you come up and go like you just did.
I love the Harvey. Weinst something that was hilarious. But
people come up and they go, hey, Harvey, what are
you doing here? And I say, why don't you just
call me? Because why would you why would you refer
(11:44):
to me as one of the dregs of the universe,
like a horrible And I did a project with him
once and he was evil. I don't I mean that guy.
Don't call me that. It's not funny. And I say
to them, are you trying to be funny? Because you're failing.
I don't mind someone it was a funny bit. Yeah,
and it's over, so stop leave me alone. And I
(12:04):
tell you the thing is too. I always tell my
children take what you do seriously, don't take yourself seriously.
This has put me on the verge of failing at
that because I do get upset when people call me
are but it's this too. Show pass were almost no
one's going to think you're him, if he's in prison
or if he kills yourself, You're good. No, they're making
(12:25):
a joke, right, I know, but it's not funny and
it's not cool. Although there is this picture that I'm
thinking a funny Instagram. So I was unaware. I was.
I knew about Curb, obviously I knew. I. Oh, there's
a new mat about you. We'll talk about that a second,
but I want to talk about your co starring. Really
almost this huge, huge part that you hadn't started. But
(12:47):
I wasn't makeup for four hours in London. I thought, you,
this is Cats. Actually, thank god I wasn't a Cats
that way. You can never live that down anyhow. I
thought that I would get, you know, three seconds four
seconds in the background. J J likes to do that,
and my former assistant, who is one of my best friends,
Michelle rej One, produced the movie. So her and j
(13:11):
J to my closest friends, give me three seconds? What
they just cut you out completely? No, I'm I'm I
see myself, but I'm gonna be honest. I think two
tenths of a second, do you have a doll? They
made a laser thing of me. There there may be
a dollar of me something that would be good. I mean,
(13:31):
this isn't your best. Look. I have to say four hours.
All those kids in Florida. Now you got horns. I
mean now you could say, oh, yeah, we do. One
time I played in Michigan and someone rubbed my head. Yeah,
what are they doing? So I have two kids with
two different dads. One dad's Jewish, the other dad's not Jewish.
(13:51):
Both kids are Jewish. Because I'm then, you're still married
either one. I wasn't married to either one. I'm kind
of slutty. You've never heard this about me. So no,
I wasn't married to either one. But I think it's
it back, you're kind of let it. I lived with
both of them. We were in monogamous relationships. You're killing
Daniel over there, but he yes, because I'm so pristine.
(14:13):
That's calling me slattie. I think is just throwing him
for loop. But in any event, baby daddy too. Okay,
So from Kentucky. Okay, right, So we take Jack our
baby when Jack was probably not his birthdays in December,
so he wasn't even one yet. His birth we took
him for Thanksgiving. First first Thanksgiving, This little baby with
big blue eyes. I mean he looks like arian Nation baby.
(14:35):
We take him there and all the family were having
you know, lunch in Kentucky, which they called dinner, which
confused me right off the bat. And all the family
and all of the neighbors were all there. We actually
had it at the church that's where we had our Thanksgiving,
and it was really weird. Every single dish had marshmallows
in it, which I still to this day don't understand.
But a couple of them, nice meaning well people said,
(14:56):
so I heard your jew. Does that mean the babies
a Jew? And they did. They were just said. They
couldn't have been nicer because a joke. No, they just
were not wasn't making a joke. They didn't know the
idea that someone would think that Jews have horns beyond anything.
Two this was for me, It was long ago, but
(15:17):
still but then you let well, I didn't think I'm
going to be a Jewish alien you are and yet
you are. Okay, tell us a little bit about mad
about you? Because I watched this Why what's there to
tell you? It already air? It's already was on. Did
you like it? I love Paul and Helen. Okay, John
pank Owen, it's already air. But that's the thing about
(15:40):
The Dreaming Now, it's it's still available. It's still available.
You play the character I used to play on the show,
was on the show for the last three seasons. Did Area, Yes?
I like Hankers Area do yeah. I like him a lot.
It's a good guy. Okay, there going to be. That's
what I was about to go. No, don't like him
like that for me too. He's one of Baby Daddy
(16:04):
One's clients, so that's why I've known him forever. Is
an entertainment attorney. No, don't cringe, he's th being a
divorce attorney. I don't know. This is supposedly dropping on
Super Tuesday in California. Then you got Super Tuesday in Chicago,
your hometown, which is was that San Patrick's day. They're
(16:25):
going to make up. They're gonna put the That's the
seventeenth of March. So at some point in between this,
if you guys are listening, I want Jeff Garland, I
want you to tell everyone get out there and vote.
Oh my god, yes, get out there and vote. That's
the only thing politically will ever say yes is go
and vote. No, I don't care what you think. We
kind of care. We kind of care a little what
(16:46):
you think. Well see, I don't, okay, but I'm all
for letting people whatever their thing is. I have friends
that voted for Trump, and I'm all for them. I'm
not all for but yes, you have to help. I don't,
by the way, I understand why. I get it all
and they're really smart people. Are they going to vote
(17:06):
again for him? Do you think none of my business?
I don't ask them. Yeah, I just you know, I
only recently. I just all right, So I only started
talking about Trump on stage the last time I did
stand up and guess what I got? Applause and laughs.
You know why I approached it from the insane side
(17:27):
of things. I approached it from finding humor in it,
which I do a content machine. I mean, but I
laugh at it. I don't get upset about it, even
though I sound upset right now. I laugh at all
of it, and I know people listening are like, what's
there to laugh at? That's my way of dealing. I left.
I left at all tragedy. So this is this is
(17:49):
getting great feedback beyond anything I could imagine. I did
two shows in Chicago. It last June, and the first
one I had stories and kind of an idea of
what I was going to talk about beginning, middle and end,
and I did that the first show and it went great.
I am immensely successful. I am, and uh, it's true,
(18:15):
Uh immensely successful. But yet you think it'd be good
enough being me? Every single day numerous people come up
to me and they say, what's Larry David really like?
And I walked off and I went wow. Then when
(18:35):
I went back up again, I went, nothing will be
the same, and I went nuts and I improvised, and
pretty much the what aired is what I improvised. And
there are stories in there that I've told before, but
I had no idea what direction would order now has
that is that something I could never do stand up?
Is that something in your process that you get done
(18:57):
in the past you could do stand up because you're
a lawyer. What I mean by that is sometimes things
are like I go up with nothing planned right literally,
I walk on stage and I usually have them play
a different song, nothing too cool when I walk up,
and then whatever that makes me think of I start
talking and before you know what I've done an hour
in ten minutes. Now you being in situations where things
(19:20):
fall in your lap and you go, oh, I have
to adapt. I have to figure this out on my feet.
Right now, I well know and I do a lot
of speaking. Well that could stop you by the way
you do great Q and A. I have my moments.
My point is that what I'm wondering is so you
preferred the second one even though you were dead on
(19:42):
in the first one. Second one, I like to say,
I captured lightning in a bottle. The second one is
exactly what I do and how I do it. Okay, okay,
And what separates me from other comedians is that your love,
Like if you had to pick one and you could
only do the one, whether it is the directing, the writing,
the executive producing, or stand up, and thank god you
(20:04):
don't have to, But if you did, is that really
the thing that like, I guess stand up because it's
I think of it. I say it a reaction over.
Whenever I do curb, whenever I make a movie, whatever,
it's always waiting for people to see it and react
to it. So it's not as my favorite thing outside
of actually doing stand up is writing. And then it
(20:26):
would be directing. Okay, so they acting kind of Do
you like being on curb? That's almost that's because I
improvise and I do love acting. But as an actor,
you're only as good as the story you're take. So
whoever gives you the material, that's what I'm is only
as good an actor as the material I'm giving. You
(20:48):
give me crappy material, I stink. I've been a villain
on bay Watch. Trust me. It's my best acting and
my worst acting. My worst acting because it's Baywatch, but
my best acting because I had a lot the scenes
with David Hessloff and I didn't laugh, and all I
wanted in my mind, I'm thinking is hey, you're David.
(21:09):
Oh my god, that's David Hassloff, and I'm the villain
and your Mitch and you're mad at me? Was Pham around,
Yes she was, Yes, I had. I had a fantasy
scene with her. Um. She was supposed to make out
with me, and unfortunately, or fortunately, I guess it was
scheduled first up, so she didn't know me. Later in
(21:31):
the week she said, I would have totally made out
with you at this point, but you know it's already
too But she liked me, you know, and days, and
I don't. I don't want to be involved in that.
I don't. Beautiful woman. I represented her ex husband twice
(21:52):
with her, remember that she married Rick Solomon a second time.
Represent Rick Solomon. Yeah, that was his name to all
of our friend Yeah. I knew him because his daughter
went to nursery school with my son, and I'd see
him all the time around the time that the stuff
came out. Yeah. Yeah, A big buller. Wrong. I think
(22:12):
big bull I like big buller wrong too. Let's talk
about your relationship on curb with your wife. She's difficult, yes,
and you are this guy, you're you're still funny, and
you're a manager, which I think in Hollywood, especially with
a client like Larry, would be difficult. So you're playing
this manager you've got You've got him as your client,
and then you've also got Clive Owen, who's a good client,
(22:33):
I guess, and then you got Susie. Let's talk about
that just for a moment. When you get in your
head for that marriage relations what's great is the conflict
makes it funny. Um, Susie is one of my best friends. Uh,
we don't have the same relationship off camera. Is she
like that? No, she's become older, she's become more like that,
(22:56):
but she is not like what's really name? Her name
is Susie. Okay, all of us have the same Okay, Okay, Cheryl, Jeff,
Larry good point, that has Larry David right, Yeah, but
a fictional Larry David. Now, if I went in real life,
I would not be married to her. I would have
been divorced the long time ago, and you would have
(23:18):
been representing because that woman I would have won. You
would have needed I wouldn't need protection in every direction. Yes, yeah,
she probably even in the show told me don't ever
ask me for a divorce because I will fuck you
so bad. I believe that. But she didn't try to
kill you in that episode. But he did not try
to kill you. But my sense of Susie was, ultimately
(23:40):
that was what would happen. It wouldn't be a divorce death.
It would be yes, it would be not pretty crimes
of passion. Yes, she's not from my no, no, you
just do you know, but still funny, very funny. Yes,
I like that show, and I think I'm going to
have to get myself my own MAGA hat because that's
(24:01):
that's me. By the way, in Los Angeles, that's exactly
what happens. Yes, at the sushi bar. I'm spoiling it.
But guys, it came out like this is already fifth
catch up. I don't feel too bad. Yes, a lot
of stuff that would be me. I'm a little you know,
missentropic like that. All right, Johnny wants to talk to
you a little bit about Super Tuesday and what's going
(24:23):
to happen. I will talk to you about Super Tuesdays.
So it's today, UM in fourteen states, which include Alabama, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota,
and North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Uta, Vermont, and Virginia
all hold their presidential primaries today, UM. And then in Illinois,
as Laura was saying earlier, it's two weeks from now
(24:45):
on the seventeen. So the Democratic nominee is going to
be officially selected in July in Milwaukee. And to win
the nomination on the first ballot, a candidate must have
locked up support from a simple majority of almost four
thousand pledge of delegates. Thank you, Johnny, just go vote,
Can you just please go vote? The sixteenth century proverb
(25:07):
all's fair in love and war speaks volumes about human relationships,
and so often I counsel clients not to expect normal
behavior as they're going through a divorce, during a time
of transition and upheaval. Everything is fair, and frankly, nothing
is fair. Divorce and possibly politics are the great equalizers.
They both can be fucking terrifying. But don't lose your
(25:28):
sense of humor because you're gonna need it. I'm Laura Wasser,
and this is the All's Fair Podcast, and we're speaking
with our man in Chicago, in l a, Jeff Garland,
about his new Netflix special. I have a question for you.
It might wait for my podcast, but I would keep it. Okay, well, no,
go ahead, you please. I came up with an idea.
It's a compliment to you. Okay. Have you ever like,
(25:52):
you know, represented a woman right and her husband on
the other side gets a crush on you. Yes, because
in my own client, I have a great story that client.
That's a different thing because you have intimate moments. But
but the other side, right, I'm great in a room.
So a lot of times what will happen is if
(26:13):
we're having a settlement conference or foreign court. A lot
of times I will talk to the guy if if
I'm representing the wife, and if I'm representing the guy,
I'll talk to the wife too. I figure out a
way and it's not fake, it's really true because I
want them to resolve it. So if I'm representing the
wife and the husband's the breadwinner, and if I have
any moment of like attraction or whatever, I will go
with that. I'll take one for the team and I
(26:35):
will say, dude, I get it. I'm the breadwinner and
one of my relationships, I have to write a check
every month. I understand, I do. I mean, I can't help.
There are a lot of men who would react positively,
and if they don't, I might have to shift, you know.
But the fact is, I want him to understand that
I get where he's coming from. I want him to
(26:57):
understand that what you said, because a lot of people
don't get like this is somebody you're going to be
dealing with for the rest of your life. I'm I'm
out soon. And so I'm married, by the way for
over years. So it's like, where else is she going
to be taken care of? Exactly? And and and more
important than that, she takes care of you in a
lot of ways. To you, guys, are gonna be together
(27:18):
when your son's walked down. The had a problem yesterday,
I called her, what kind of a problem. I was
talking to her about that and she called me down.
That's that's what we are here for as family members.
That's what we do. And when the kids, you're gonna
be I mean, this is how my parents were. That's
how I knew. My parents split up and they were
always best friends and my dad they both married other people,
(27:40):
but they still spoke several times a week. When I
had my babies, they were both in the hospital with
their respective others, but still, And that's that's what I
saw growing up, so I knew that that was the
right way to do it. Now I'm being paid this
huge amount of money per hour to help people, and
I don't see it as like stirring the pot making
more conflict. We're trying to resolve problems. So I say
(28:02):
to people all the time, this is this is your wife,
this is this is your husband, This is the person
that bore your children or that was standing next to
and something get into the cheaper than me. You must
talk down some of your clients with bitterness, like, whoa,
this is not helping you. Well, how about you want
to pay me or you want to pay her? Probably
(28:24):
you're gonna paying both of us. So how about if
you just pay her, you don't pay me. But we did.
I did have this case a long time ago, this
guy Steve, and he was an agent at CIA, and
he was a real he was like the guy right,
and he had totally cheated on his wife and he
gave her harpies and it was really ugly. And I
was I was a baby attorney and I was and
(28:45):
I was hot then, and so we Steve and I
will not tolerate. You are at okay, you should have
seen me shut your grandma's balls. You are at your
there's you divorced attorney right now, Steve and I walk
(29:11):
into the room. Wife is already sitting there with her
female attorney, and there's a retired judge because we're going
to try to settle it right. Steve and I walk
in and I say, Hi, I'm Laura Waster. I put
my hand out to shake totally ignores the hand, looks
at him and goes So, Steve, you're sucking hurt too,
and I was like, oh, oh no, wait a minute.
I'm like, think fast, I am actually a lesbian. I'm
in a committed lesbian relationship. And she looked at him
(29:32):
and she goes nice. These were in the days where
there wasn't so much switching around, so we settle. In
the case. I didn't make out with her lawyer, which
was uncomfortable, but it was okay. I did do that afternoon, Larry.
I mean, look, you do what needs to be done, right. Well, yeah,
(29:55):
where are your boys living now? One lives with me,
one lives with her. Okay, really only because it just
works better that way. But I'm close with both my sons.
But well that's a whole other discussion. The younger one
might the older one. The older one has the same
skill set I do, and I dropped out of college.
I never liked it, so I kind of feel like
(30:17):
I can't push him. I can only but Larry, he's
been on Curb, he's been on the Goldberg's and I
did not ask him either time. Larry wanted him on
because Larry said his name is James. James is the
funniest kid I've ever met, you know, he's really gifted.
He's really gifted. Good that I believe. So I'm madly
(30:37):
in love with both my boys, badly as you should be. Yes,
and I like that. You guys, do we do this
to family dinners? Yeah? Well without it doubt? Yeah, yes,
without it doubt we have to. And also in terms
of being involved with my sons, my wife and I
are on the same page. We have discussions all the time,
how we're doing this, what we're gonna do. It's true, good,
(31:00):
I like it. No, does she date? None of my business? Okay,
I don't know she is not. But I asked her
once and I was told none of my business. I
will never ask again. Interesting, Okay, would you share with
her if she asked me? No? Just would you ever say, Martha,
I gotta like this woman. I don't know. No, no,
(31:22):
no no. If she wanted to know and she was
comfortable with them, I would say, with anyone that's close
to me, and obviously she's closer than anyone. I'm very
transparent and very I'm good with sharing information with anyone
who's close to me. But I also don't want to
hurt her. Got it? Okay? At all? Zero? And right now,
(31:45):
I think that would be hurtful. Not that I don't
have a girlfriend or anything, but if I did, it
would be a little much. Okay, how do you how
do you recommend people listening get to that place if
they're in the process of a divorce, get to which place?
My place? It's just who I am. I don't think
you get to that place. I think that you're either
(32:05):
a schmucker or not. You're either thoughtful and kind or
you're not. But I would say to anyone if I
was giving them advice, be as nice as you can.
Don't be bitter. I don't care if they cheated on you, whatever,
because the better you. It's just my guess, and you're
an expert. But I would think that you get to
(32:26):
a healthier place by being as healthy as you can
be as the process is going on. So that's my
gut feeling. But I just do what's right for me.
I don't tell anybody how to live or what I
do is right. What I do is right for me.
What do you say to your women friends that have
these shitty exes? You just listen or do you mean,
(32:47):
oh I listen, I back them up. I do anything
I can to help like literally from taking them grocery
shopping and paying because I know they're like being how little. Yes, literally,
I'll take them grocery shopping, I'll hold their hand. I'll
(33:07):
be a great friend, a great support and if they
want to ask me anything. But it really is most
of all just being able to listen and listening, and
that's what I do. That's when we talk a lot
on this show about support systems and how to support,
how to find a support system. So many people are
going through this and they don't have anywhere to turn.
It's called Jeff Garland everybody that stand up shows. Take
(33:32):
you till then I want to talk about the show,
the photo show. It's called fig Bowl of Wonderful at
the like a gallery which is in Los Angeles. Now,
were you always a photographer? I'm always interested in photography.
Was in my My grandfather's brothers were photographers. That being said,
it's something that I got interested in, you know, maybe
(33:54):
twelve years ago, thirteen years ago, and I had no
I'm going to be the best photographer. But over time,
in terms of my approach, my equipment, my feeling as
I did it, I suddenly am a photographer. Do it
like yeah, I use like a cameras and by the way,
it's at the like a gallery. I use like a cameras,
(34:14):
and I pay full price for everything nice and even
perhaps more importantly, part of the proceeds from print sales
will go to Mr Garland's cancer charity F Cancer, which
is www. Dot Let's f cancer dot com. Yes, why
did that become an interest? I'm on the board. Both
my parents died of cancer. Everyone knows someone who dies
(34:35):
of cancer, and uh uh when I heard the name cancer,
I laughed, couldn't and I'm like, And then I hosted
their event and then they asked me to be on
the board. So I love doing that. I basically now
I'm taking a break since I filmed my special. That
all I'm doing stand up wise now are benefits. Really
(34:55):
have got like a half a dozen benefits over the
next month or so. And then other than that, I'm
taking naps, a lot of naps. Well, you need to rest,
you need to rest your voice, and so you're not
performing around here. No, no, not, I'm really sad about you.
Don't seem really sad. I'm sad that you. I don't
think you're beautiful. I do think I just think that
(35:17):
was more beautiful when I was Johnny, Do I think
I'm beautiful? She still thinks she don't worry. I'm definitely
living with some delusion, but they're not. Are so much
more beautiful than girls. Women who have lived a life,
Women in their forties and fifties are the most attractive,
(35:39):
most beautiful because there's a lot. It's like a bumble
ad for Jeff Gonlan. I dude, I know I think
it's I don't use any of that stuff. No, I
don't think you ought to know. I'm not go out
into the world and women market. Evidently, the Whole food
I love it. I'm anyone at Whole Foods. Come up
(36:01):
to me at Whole Foods. If if you're over forty
with with with a shitty ex husband, just walk up
to me. I'll buy your groceries, all right. So wait,
are you Chicago? What's the team? The baseball team for Cubs? Cubs?
I'm a big Cubs are very yes, but you know
(36:22):
that our Dodgers are gonna like because we got Mookie.
Now you knew this, right, who's arguing with you? Okay,
just just aking. No, I think they'll be they will
be nothing short of ridiculous. The Yankees should be pretty great. Yeah,
but and I like the Dodgers. I like that. Also,
my favorite manager was the Cubs Maryagor Joe Matten just
(36:42):
went to the Angels. I'm excited about going to some
of those games. I love baseball. Well, I'm a Clippers
season ticket holder. Okay, okay, I used to like the
Clippers to when DeAndre Jordan was there. Are you friends
with DeAndre? Are you? Oh? My god? We should call him?
He's great anymore nets now right? He's in Brooklyn. Yeah,
(37:02):
but he writes me he's watching herb this year. Okay, good, Yeah,
we're gonna have to go. The three of us go
get some drinks or something. Did you drink? Okay? Well
fed until I injured my throat? Did that cause it? No?
But it's not helping so for right now, and thank god,
I don't have to do it. Indica helps me quite everything, right,
(37:25):
but I can't do it right now. I'm protecting my throat.
How about eating it? But yeah, but generally that's sugary
and I don't need sugar. What about what about like
the drops like that? That's fantastic? D Johnny to self
not CBD. He actually needs the alright, So again I
don't really care that much about baseball. Johnny wanted me
(37:47):
to ask you about the Chicago Cubs. I guess leading,
of course. Yeah, that makes a pretty great and by
the way, Dave Roberts, I've gotten to know, Johnny, tell
me one player, one player you're going to ask give
us one more of an Athletics supporter than you get it.
You don't know the team not so well. They have
the second best player in baseball? Who is? What's that?
(38:10):
Who is? Betts just came And I only know this
because my proud who was the best player in baseball
is on the Angels. So when the Angels play the Dodgers,
that's pretty exciting. Daniel back there, it's just in Heaven,
I know, all right. So this was the lead into
(38:31):
my favorite thing to do is practice law. Also not true,
but okay, Johnny, what is your favorite thing? I love
practicing law, but it's not my favorite thing to do.
The fair thing to do swim in the ocean. And
you don't get paid for that. I know that doesn't Yes,
the ocean is good. In any event, I do like
practicing law, and as part of practicing law. We have
(38:52):
something that we do on the show that are called
the interrogatories, which you might have needed to do in
your divorce. You probably don't remember because the lawyers did them.
But Jeff, yeah, do you promise to tell the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth as long
as it doesn't embarrass my ex I'm oh, god, no,
I wouldn't do something. No, no, I'm saying that that
I will embarrass. By the way, being a comedian, when
I go on stage, you know, people use the recorders.
(39:14):
I'm never worried that I'm going to say something ignorant,
you know, racist home That's not who I am. But
I will say something stupid. I will say something to
offend somebody, and I'm sorry, you know. So right now,
I don't know what I'm gonna say, but I'm gonna
say it. Okay, So, which relationship in your life has
had the most profound effect on you my children? Becoming
(39:40):
a dad? Yeah, becoming a dad unequivocally. What's your favorite
love song? Wow? That's um. Can I have one second? Okay,
I'm gonna tell you. I want to be I want
to be exactly right because I have I love music
so much. I'm gonna go to my playlist and I
know which one it is and it'll be on there.
Oh see, right now, right now, I'm going through all
(40:03):
these uh songs that make me really happy. Oh I'm
gonna go with Golden Lady by Stevie Wonder. Oh nice, Yeah,
this would be my I was going with this one
right now, but I have like dozens of others, usually
from the world of seventies souls. Although you know what
(40:23):
a song I do love and one of the great
moments was dancing with a woman to the song Harvest
Moon by Neil Young. What is the one piece of
advice you would share with either and this is a
your twenty something, your old self, or someone following your footsteps,
So this could be you or one of your boys. Well,
the truth that I would say to them when they're
(40:45):
younger is it's not you. I remember all these things
would happen, you know, mostly with women, and I always
thought it was me. There wasn't one time I didn't
think it was me. What's wrong with me? What did
I do? Which is really good for self reflection, but
at a certain point it's very self destructive and not
(41:05):
right now by the way, um where there are things
that were me sure, but overall, that's what I would
tell my younger self. You know what you're dying from
right now, what you're beating yourself up from. It's not
you like that, and that can that's for a lot
of it. By the way, you don't need to be
in your twenties, that's you know the heart. Look, I'm
(41:26):
fifty seven years old, and the one thing that I
know in life that has proven to be true is
to be kind to yourself. Everyone says that, but the
reality is it's extraordinary, extraordinarily hard. It's so difficult to
be kind to yourself. I mean, how can you go.
We can not say you fucking idiot to yourself, you
(41:48):
know what I mean. Like, there's so many times and
I think that that one before that is being kind
to yourself like that, that it's not you, it's not
you being kind to your self. And and again that
is something a lot of our listeners, if they're in
the middle of a breakup, need to hear. But by
the way, you do need to do self examination and
then maybe probably come to it's not you. I like that. Yeah, okay,
(42:13):
do you like romantic comedies. Love romhead of comedy. Which
is your favor? You could watch it on repeat? Well,
I'm very much into Um the Apartment by Billy Wilder.
I like Old Preston Scourges, Ernst Lubitch, Billy Wilder, Frank Capra.
I love my romantic comedies. Well yeah, but really pre sixties,
(42:35):
although I really loved My favorite one of all time
is The Heartbreak Kid or Charles Groden. Yes, got so
good they tried to do or remake it wasn't crazy,
that's not it wasn't. Yeah. I was a rhetoric major
at cal Okay. That was they had that, and I
took a class. Hilarious. I took a class, and what
(42:56):
I loved about it was you could really be a dilettante,
like you declared a major, but and really like you
could take rhetoric of of avant garde poetry. And I
took the rhetoric of Preston Sturgist romantic comedies. That's all
we did all semester was watched him and figure out
the argument that Sturgis was making and what he was
trying to teach you. How great is that? How great
is that? As a nineteen year old to be able
(43:16):
that you watch these By the way, I wish I
was in that class ye for that semester, and that
you at nineteen, but not now. I would have liked
you and it would have worked out, and it would
have probably not been you. But I can't say that.
How did you and Marla meet? By the way, she
(43:39):
was my agent in Chicago. Moved back to Chicago from
New York and she was my agent. And she likes
to joke that she got more than she's adorable? So
did she? Was she your agent? Then when you moved
out here, so she stopped agent? She was? She was,
She became a casting director. She worked out here, She
(43:59):
cast the original, She would worked with Alison Jones, She
did the original pilot of the Office. She did um
the forty year old Virgin, did a lot of stuff.
Yeah nice, All right, Tony, Do you have anything else? No?
I think you guys covered. So those are the questions,
those are the difficult questions. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I'd like to give people an opportunity to look at
(44:20):
them before so they can come up with the song
and stuff. I mean, you'd be amazed. Some people are like,
oh no, I had too many, too many I love
you know, yeah, because when I was looking at those songs,
because those of you said love song. And there were
two songs in that list that I love, which is
one is What's going On by Marvin Gay and another
(44:41):
one is That's the Way of the World by Earth,
Wind and Fire and so. But I don't know if
either of those are really loved anything wrong. Certainly have
sex to Marvin Gay song, yes, well, I could have
sex to any song at all, so, but rage against them.
She what's really funny is then you like laughing while
(45:04):
having sex. That is true too, yeah, because that is
one of the funniest things. If you can have sex
just like the most ridiculous music. There's something funny about that,
is there is? That's true? All right, Jeff, I want
to tell everyone where they can find you, thank you
so much for joining us today, and all's fair. How
can they keep up with you online? TV? What's your
what's your handles and everything? Well, I only have one thing,
(45:26):
and we have two things on the internet. I have
at Jeff Garlin at us Instagram and I have now
I just start at the beginning. You're Jeff Garland dot Com.
Dot com. Jeff Garwan dot com has got all my information,
all right, And then go go watch our Man in
Chicago and Netflix. Please, I'm very proud of it, and
nothing in it will become dated, so you can watch
(45:46):
it a year from their friends and yeah, okay, and
would you please go vote? Go vote, you guys, really
go vote, go vote, but go vote. And by the way,
is today the deadline for doing the mail voting things done?
You gotta go. I'll go and when people see you there,
that's going to be a good By the way, I've
(46:07):
never voted by mail. Everyone always tells me too. I
never have and I will start. But you know why
I didn't because I like taking my kids. I like
taking my kids and that can be part of our things. Yes,
not so much in the bikini, I say. And by
the way, you can also find out about me on
Liz Carrie's and puts me up there. Yes, and she
(46:31):
was a guest on our show a couple of weeks ago.
And she's funny. She's funnier, not even on the show.
She's the funniest. She is the funniest. There's only one
woman that I know that might be funnier than her
my dear friends, who makes me laugh so hard I cry.
But guess what, Liz. When I spend time with Liza
reminds me of the times I spent with Amy. Liz
(46:53):
is magic. She is high Liz. Thank you for getting
Jeff on our show, and thank you for listening. Everyone
leave a review on Apple Podcasts, and if you are
someone you know is representing themselves after divorce, check out
our masterclass and Next Chapter series dot com. Let's do
This again next Tuesday. M
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