Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yes, hi there, It's me Laura Wasser, the divorce attorney
and the founder of It's over Easy, the online divorce service.
I've been practicing family law for over twenty years, and
I've worked on thousands of divorces, shepherding people through what
may be one of the most terrifying times in their lives.
(00:21):
Along the way, I often have to remind people to
lower their expectations when dealing with matters of the heart.
Rules simply don't apply. Because all's fair in love and war.
So welcome to the All's Fair Podcasts. Fasten your seatbelts
and let's go. Hey there, everyone, I'm Laura Wasser, I'm
Johnny Rains, and this is the All's Fair Podcast where
(00:42):
everything relevant to relationships is up for examination and discussion.
And thanks to the novel Coronavirus, which is not so novel,
where we are right now, at this moment in history,
our relationships are being tested more so than possibly at
any other time in recent memory. So true, we can't
even socialize, and for those of us in the media,
production is either shutdown or like us here at All's
(01:05):
Fair and at Saturday Night Live, we're all recording ourselves
from home for those of us without kids, it's like
round hot Day. Do you think that the people on
Saturday and Live were like, oh my god, those guys
that all spare podcast our homies that they're they're doing this.
They know that we can commiserate. Because we can relate,
we're also having to record ourselves from home. And for
(01:26):
those of us without kids, it's like Groundhog Day every day.
But for people with school age kids like you, Laura,
I just don't know how you do it. There's a
lot of yelling, there's a lot of drinking. Let me
just put it that way. Is Jack becoming an alcoholic?
I know that the yelling is and drinking, for the
most part, are being perpetrated by me. In the l
(01:47):
A Times, there was an article addressing this sort of
quarantine fatigue that all of us are feeling. So you
really want to see your friends, here's how to assess
the risk. And they kind of go through all these
different and activities from social distancing, having barbecues, recommendations on
how close or how far away you should stay from people,
(02:09):
and it's sad to say it's still necessary to social distance. Yeah,
and I've talked about play dates, like what you can
do with your kids and can they actually ride bikes?
That article depressed me because I kind of feel like
I'm not doing that as well as maybe I should.
I sent it to Mary and I was like, we're
not doing this, but anyway, here we are still. The
one thing that I have found very important during this
(02:31):
time is, and again you know I say this all
the time, I think being a divorce attorney helps. Don't judge.
I mean, if you don't want to have people to
your house, if you don't feel like interacting with them
because you don't think they're being safe, fine, but don't judge.
I don't. I don't need anybody else's opinion unless I
ask for it about what I'm doing, and I don't
give it to them, And so everyone's doing their own thing.
I certainly I am not inviting people to come over
(02:52):
to my house without mass. I have my own way
of doing things, whether it's going to the market or
taking the dog to the better or whatever. But otherwise,
try to refrain from judgment, which I think might be
a good practice to get into, because when we come
out of this, maybe you won't be so judgmental of
other people. Then either, well, that quarantine fifteen may make
some people a little judgmental. Was that extra fifteen pounds
(03:15):
and I'm gaining from all the food I'm eating, I
will judge you for being fat. I had a feeling
it continues to be about personal responsibility, and for families
with kids, the new reality for siblings is that they
must spend much of their time together in the absence
of friends, school, peers, teammates. I'm watching this with my kids.
They are actually having a really good time together swimming.
(03:37):
I think my older son has really embraced my younger son,
whereas before he was a teen and he was like,
get out of my room, get out of my room.
He's like, he's the only thing going right now. So
I'm enjoying watching them play together. But that article by
Katherine Rosmond really did make a point about how it
can be difficult and you will have a different relationship
(03:58):
with your siblings. I think as we come out of
this as well, Yes, yes, she talks to five different families,
five different sets of siblings in this article, and they
arrange in ages and and some of the parents are
a little more you know, as they used to say,
woke than others. I think so it's interesting how that
resonates in the children being able to get along and
(04:19):
to be diplomatic. But one of the siblings that really
was interesting to me were an older pair of siblings
where the eldest son had gone away to college and
the slightly younger sister. These are kids who are fifteen
and eighteen. The sister had taken over the brother's room
and more or less was like, yeah, the big kid
(04:40):
on campus, so to speak, but at home. And then
the brother had to come back, and so in the
article she talks about, you know how they had to
readjust to his presence back in the house, but she's
still ruling the roost. Yikes. I also wanted to talk
about that she knows. The article about celebrity couples who
are co parenting amicably, and one of them was Anderson Cooper.
(05:01):
He's co parenting with his ax, Benjamin Maizani. That maybe, yes,
that really is amazing. The story he told to US
Magazine about his choice to co parent with his ex
was also very interesting. They got along so well, and
it's kind of like they're an example of what we
(05:21):
talked about on this show. Just because you break up
with somebody doesn't mean that you can't stay friends with them.
And just because they might not have been the best
partner doesn't mean they can't be a good parent. True,
and my hope is that as we watch the people
we admire celebritiesliminaries go through these things amicably in ways
that are ultimately better for everyone, particularly their kids, their
(05:43):
behavior will have a positive ripple effect on everything. One
because we know we like to do what the celebrities do.
You know, the phrase conscious uncoupling, and all of these
kind of examples of couples that have vacation together, you
know pre covid, how they're doing this co parenting together
is a good example for all of us. Even some
of them are are co parenting and quarantining together like
(06:05):
together Willis and Demi Moore Yes Yes today to share
his perspective on that point that celebrities helped set the
agenda for relationship trends. We've invited an authority on celebrity
relationships to join us. In his past life, he was
a publicist working for a list talent like j Lo.
(06:25):
He's the former executive editor of Okay Magazine and huff
Post Celebrity. He also appeared across broadcasting, cable news, co
hosting and commenting on celebrity relationships, and he's also the
host of the new podcast right Here on I heard
called Naughty but Nice. Welcome to All's Fair, Rob, Naughty
but Nice, Hello both, Hello Helloa. So tell us a
(06:50):
little bit about yourself beyond what I said, because I
kind of said it in a boring way. But why
are you so interested in celebrities and why do you think,
more importantly, the rest of us just love hearing what
goes on with that. It's a really good question. I
think it's two parts there. I'm really interested in celebrities,
but I'm also just a very nosy person. I'm always noisy.
(07:15):
When I was a little boy growing up in Britain,
on the playground, it was like dangerous liaison. I knew
everybody's business. I always was noisy, and I think I
tried to figure out a way to make this into
my living. And what I stumbled into is that most
of us are nosy about celebrities. We love them. I
went to school, I got my master's in politics. I
(07:35):
was going to be like a politician, I guess or
or work somehow at the houses of Commons in London,
and I fell in love with the Spice girls and
that changed my life, and they changed my life to
actually we have that in comment. I love that every
dinner party and I went to in London, all they
wanted to talk about was not economic theory or politics.
(07:57):
They wanted to know about Ginger Spice. And while she
left group, so I sort of looked pretty quick that
celebrities are something people loved as good at it. I
love to gossip, and I think the tone of my
show and my website, naughty but nice, has what's made
me pretty successful. My readers are not mean girls. They
don't you can gossip about people without being me and
(08:18):
and I think the mistake a lot of us make
is trying to be nasty and we think it's witty
or sharp clever, and it's not. It's just me. And
I always say that when I go out for drinks
with friends, My most interesting friends, the ones that have
all the best dish, are really not very nice people.
And the friends the friends that are really boring are
(08:39):
lovely people. So if you could be naughty but nice,
if you can be in the middle, then I think
you'll find your audience. So I started in celebrity gossip.
I actually started as a publicist, so I started working
for celebrities. I was a publicist for j Lo for
for Jessica Simpson, Alicia keys P did so as a
publicist for a really long time and and attainment, reporting
(09:01):
and publicity are pretty much opposite ends of the same
coy in and so in my pr days, I was
the publicist for US Weekly magazine, and that's how I
sort of really got interested in reporting and celebrities. And
it's a it's amazing. It's really paid off for me
because of my background. I've been to places that other
gossip columnists reporters would never get access to. So I've
(09:23):
been to the oscars and backstage addressing rooms. I've been
on photo shoots of celebrities. And although we never ever
reveal our sources, I know a lot of really fabulous
famous people who like you and me, like to gossip.
So I have a question. Do you believe that the
more famous one is, the nicer he or she behaves,
(09:44):
are the more well behaved. I think the more famous
you are, the more aware of your behavior you are too,
so you might still be awful behind the scenes. But
I think you're very aware of the image you project,
and I are in member with some of my clients.
They would say to me, the minute they left the
house or their apartment, they became that celebrity. Whether they
(10:07):
were at dinner, whether they were going to the shops,
whether they were going to do a concert, they were
not really themselves until they got back into their hotel
room or their apartments. Those were the really successful celebrities.
Celebrities that are aware of who they are and are
willing to give it to their public are the ones
I think that do really really well. So I don't
(10:28):
know if they get nicer, right, they get smarter, smarter
and more aware. So okay, than the follow up to
that is is that Rob, do you think one of
the reasons that it's very difficult for celebrities to have
deep relationships romantic relationships because they're actually more than one person. Yeah,
I think it's really tricky. I think that a lot
(10:49):
of times people that they date fall in love with
the image of the person rather than the reality. So
when you date Jennifer Lopez, you want to date j Loo.
You don't necessarily want to meet Jennifer on a Saturday
afternoon although I do. I think it's fascinating, but there
is a difference between the two of them. Also to
I find that, like in any job, your world becomes
(11:09):
your work, and that world of celebrity is very small
and the people that they let in or out is very,
very particular. I have a very famous friend who told
me very early on that he invites people into his life.
You don't get into his life unless you're invited, and
the minute you betray him, we can't discuss it. Like
(11:31):
friends who are not famous, I'd betrayed a lot of
my regular friends. I'm so sorry, but we forgive each other,
we move along. Celebrities don't give you a second chance
because they feel they have so much more to lose.
It's a it's a very complicated job, and I think
if you get to see the inside of it, as
we we've we've been lucky enough to see it, it's
something that you would, I think, think really hard about
(11:52):
before you ever wanted to do it. Rosie o Donald said,
if she knew how being a celebrity really would be,
She's not sure she would have worked this hard. It's interesting,
isn't it. I don't know if you would pick it.
I don't know if you would pick it. You think
you would because of the money and the power and
the glamour. I don't know. I wouldn't, would you know?
I love totally value my privacy and and picking my nose. Okay,
(12:17):
one more question, and that is this celebrity wedding or
celebrity breakup which gets more hits? Do we really love
the schaden freud so much that even if it's naughty
but nice, do people really like to see them split
up or have something bad happened better than we like
seeing the good stuff? They're both really interesting. Now, it
depends where you hear it. This is this is a
(12:38):
little nuance, so stick with me. If it's on the
cover of a magazine, it's going to be a wedding
because we want to see the wedding dress. It's a
visual medium, so when you break up, there's no visual
unless you throw a punch, hopefully not. There's actually not
really a good visual, which is why on the covers
of the magazines they take two pictures and sort of like, um,
put a scratch down the middles if they've ripped up
(12:59):
a photo a graph, so the visual is not as good.
So to sell magazines. Weddings are more successful on the
Internet and on podcasts and radio. Breakups get more, but
they're not the number one that celebrity moment that actually
generates the most hits. What is death is the number
(13:20):
one and magazines for the longest times stayed away from it.
They didn't know what they had. And it was actually
the National Inquirer who put Elvis Presley's death on the cover,
which they didn't want to do. And I think it's
the number one selling issue of all time. I think
says Diana died her cover. I think is the number
one selling People magazine of all time. Death is actually
(13:44):
the most powerful way to get people to buy a map.
And is it like overdoses or unexpected deaths or just
deaths in general? The more tragic the death. Unfortunately, it's
like real letter, like if you think about it listening,
we have terrible but if you think about it, when
I with my friends, I gossip about regular things like
who you're dating, who's broken up? God forbid, somebody has
(14:06):
died to all those big moments in life that are
relevant for you and your friends. Over at Cosmo, that's
the same in the world of celebrities, which makes sense
because we think we know these people. We think we
know Jennifer Anderson. We don't call a Jennifer Anderson, we
call a jenn We we were on first term basis
with them. It's interesting. The people on television, we think
we know Katie Wendy Hoda. The people on nighttime TV,
(14:30):
like the newscasters on Mr. Broka, Lester Hold, we give
them a second name because we're a little bit more respectaful.
But the people on morning TV that see us in
our underwear probably in the morning when we're rushing out
the house, they're our friends. And the same with with
with with celebrities on TV, we like them better. The
movie stars we can never be Julia Roberts, but we
(14:51):
do think we know Rachel from Friends. Interesting because they
come right into a living in our living room while
we're picking our nose again and an obsessions today, Well
we're eating eating a snacks and sitting on the couch.
We we get to know them. It's really fascinating. If
you look at covers of magazines now, there's been a
real shift, particularly in the weeklies. A lot of those
covers now are TV stars, movie stars, you know, don't
(15:14):
feel bad for them. They have a fabulous life. They
had a lot of money. But what actually shifts the
narrative is a TV star, particularly a reality star, which
sort of explains the success and our obsession with the Kardashians.
Because you were a publicist, you know this. I get
this all the time. When we're about to file paperwork
for a divorce or whatever, many celebrity couples issue a
(15:38):
statement saying we still love each other, we're asking for
privacy whatever else. Give our listeners what advice you would
give if you were still doing a PR gig um
because we have people, normal people listening. But now with
social media, you've gotta put something out there too. What
what's your PR version of the split announcement? My PR
version of the split announcement is tell the truth in
(16:00):
the nicest possible way. Don't lie, but don't put stuff
in that you don't mean. If you're not still friends
and you don't still care about each other, don't say it.
Don't say it on me and gave me her base.
But it was a good run, and we love our kids.
That's right. We have three beautiful children. So are you
guys recommending then this is this is very interesting that
(16:23):
the divorce attorney and the gossip calumnists former publicists, do
you recommend that average couples do something like this like
the celebrities. I say, you tell your own story before
somebody else can. So when my sister Betty got divorced, Betty,
I encourage you to tell everybody on Facebook soon because
(16:44):
he was going to tell everybody as well. So I think,
no matter if you're famous or not, life is always
better if you get to tell your story, control the narrative,
look a look at you how much an hour? I'm
fitty my advice just so that we're really clear as generally,
don't say anything or call your publicists. I just don't
(17:05):
like to say a word. But again I that's why
I think the publicists are so well suited to deal
with this. So Rob tell us a little bit about
how this is what I was talking about in the intro,
this trickle down, how what celebrities do kind of affect
us normal people, and particularly with regard to them staying
friends post breakup, co parenting, etcetera. It really is important.
(17:29):
Celebrities are like the word of mouth. There are best
friends there people we think we know they're people that
influence us. So when a celebrity does something, particularly a
celebrity that we love, that we think, we know it
has a massive impact on all of us. So when
celebrities breakup, they can really sort of set the new rules.
I think recently we've seen a lot of celebrities who
have been breaking up and remaining friends. Bruce Williams and
(17:50):
Demi Moore have been together for the last I think
eight weeks or so. Ramona Singer and her ex husband
from the Real Housewives, they were in quarantine together. I
think the best example probably is Gwennath and Chris. Those
two have remained friends. And I think if if celebrities
do this, we look at them and we think, why
can't we do that too? They really are influencers, and
(18:12):
so I think celebrities have a massive voice here. And
in the old days, when when we broke up we
hated that person, we would we would not ever talk
to them ever again. And if Gwenneth and Chris can
go out for dates with their new partners together, then
maybe we can try that. I'm not saying it's going
to work, but maybe it changes the way we think.
(18:34):
Just a little bit. Also to celebrities are are something
that really drive the culture we live in this world.
They're on TV all the time, They're on the covers
of all the magazines, on all the websites, even the
fancy ones CNN. They have a big celebrity entertainment division there.
When I worked at the Huffington's Post, it really used
to annoy Ariana that I think the entertainment sides got
(18:55):
more hits than the politics, Like people love this stuff.
Don't get me talking about kittens on the internet, to like,
people love this stuff. So I think that they have
a bigger impact than what we can imagine, particularly when
it comes to relationships, and a big part of relationships
is obviously divorce and breakups. Do you think it's easier
what do you say to people say, Oh, it's easy
to be to say friends if everybody is beautiful and
(19:17):
everybody's wealthy, and there's enough money to go around, and
so we don't need to be ugly or angry or
wanting because they have everything. It's really interesting all the
famous people I've met are not quite as beautiful or
happy or self assured as you think they are wealthy.
(19:38):
When I said okay magazine, or this is such good gossip.
It won't get me into trouble. I'll be careful. So
when I said okay magazine. We used to buy baby photographs,
some wedding pictures for the cover that and I would
write the checks so I knew exactly how much we're paying,
and then the celebrity or their people or someone around
them would lead to the press what they wanted people
to think we paid, and there was a lot of
(19:59):
extra as zeroes and I read about it in page six.
It wasn't the check I wrote. But celebrities also too.
They they they're insecure, they have feelings. I used to
always think if I was just like ten better looking,
with ten pounds lighter, I would be happier. And I
(20:19):
didn't get any better looking, but I did lose ten pounds.
I was miserable. I know I was happier when I
was out drinking and being a fatty. I loved drinking
and all the things that they look a little heavier.
So don't don't buy into that. We all have those
things that we wish we could change about ourselves that
we think would make us instantly happier. Not true. In
(20:40):
the same celebrities. You know, just look at this is
an awful example, but I think it holds some residents here.
Look at all those celebrities that we've heard about with
drug overdoses and alcohol and all the problems. If their
lives were so great, Hollywood will be a much happier place.
And it's not. It's a little a little, a little sad,
a little sad, and a little lonely. I'm guessing particularly now.
(21:01):
I mean, I do think that somehow this quarantine has
given us all an opportunity, for better or for worse,
to kind of reset reflect. But I can imagine that
there might be people that are used to having a
lot of people around them saying yes on the payroll,
where all of a sudden, nobody's able to do that
right now. And so you're in your big mansion and
(21:21):
there's nobody there blowing out your hair, doing your nails,
and you're like, shit, I'm lonely, Where's where are my
loved ones? It's really lonely. Not judging their lives either.
If if the people around them have been paid to
be around them, I guess good for them. But they're not.
They're what I predicted early on during this virus. And
I think it's happened is as people's roots and botox
(21:43):
started to fade, would see less and less of them
on Instagram. So what first? All these really all over,
so pay attention to b B b BB we're all
doing Facebook lives. There are all these instagrams. And then
six weeks into it when the routes started like we
slowly see the middle a little less of it. Well,
(22:05):
news flash in Beverly Hills, I think it was last
week they announced that, you know, procedures are badness, so
essential essential services, Mrs wonderful, Thank you so much. You guys.
Can hear Rob share his naughty but Nice perspective on
what's happening in Hollywood and elsewhere as if anywhere else
(22:25):
mattered Monday through Thursday on his podcast Naughty but Nice.
Here's a taste. Listen up. I'm Rob Shooster, I'm America's
number one. Thank you very much, gossip columnists. You may
have seen me, heard me chatting away on The Today Show,
The Talk, Wendy Williams, CNN and even Z one hundred,
(22:46):
Elvis Dea Ran and The Morning Show. And now I
want to tell you about my new celebrity podcast, Naughty
but Nice with Rob Shooter. Hopefully it will be your
go to destination for the biggest news on some of
your favorite celebrities. Thanks Rob, thanks for zooming in today,
(23:07):
and tell our listeners where they can find you online.
You can find me. Naughty Gossip dot com is my website,
Naughty Gossip dot com. It's cheeky, it's I like to say,
it's always a pinch, it's never a punch. I love that.
Listen to the Naughty but Nice podcast guys, Rob, thanks
for coming by