May 2, 2025 • 30 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
School of Humans. Hello, my precious filth fans. I know
I haven't had a new episode in a couple of weeks,
but I've been sick, I've been traveling, blah blah blah. Excuse, excuse,
But I promise starting next week we're going to have
some new episodes. We're gonna have an episode on toilet paper. Yeah,
a whole episode about wiping your butt. Got some episodes
(00:31):
on syphilis coming out, and also about straw hats. It's
gonna be huge. In the meantime. This isn't history, per se.
I mean it's kind of more recent history. But I
really want to do a story about the time Hooters
had an airline. Do you guys remember that Hooters air
It was a very brief period of time. It was
(00:51):
in two thousand and three, two thousand and three, about
two thousand and six they had one. Which is crazy
because like the executives at Hooters saw nine to eleven
and they're like, we got to get into the plane business.
Maybe planes were cheap at the time. I don't know,
but I do want to do a story about Hooters
are as an American filth episode. So if you are
someone whoever flew on Hooters there, Please let me know.
(01:15):
I know it only flew to a few locations like
Atlantic City and Myrtle Beach, you know, the only two
places anyone would ever want to go. But if you
ever flew on Hooters air, can you please send me
a message on our Instagram at American Filth Pod or
you can stalk me on my Instagram send me a DM.
Whatever I do think this American Filth episode about Hooters
There will be my life's work and it will complete me,
(01:38):
so let me know. But in the meantime, here is
one of my favorite episodes about cheese, and I swear
we'll be back next week with new stuff. What do
we know about the seventh President of the United States,
Andrew Jackson? Well, to sum up, he's on the twenty
dollars bill to celebrate his long legacy of being a moody,
(02:01):
bitch en slave owner who committed a shit ton of
genocide against the indigital people. Yes, that is a very
truncated biography, but I also think it's pretty accurate. He
got the nickname of Old Hickory during the War of
eighteen twelve. At that time, he was an inexperienced, hot
(02:22):
headed general, but when he got in order to evacuate
a battle, he made sure all of his soldiers could
make the trek. He even gave up his horse for
the sick and injured and just walked on the ground
with his own legs. Wow, such a nice guy. The
Creek Indians had a very different name for him. They
(02:45):
called him sharp Knife because of his inability to compromise
on anything and being a violent, hard ass bitch. During
the Creek Civil War, half of the Creek wanted to
attack the United States settlements on their land, but the
other half wanted to ally themselves with the United States,
so he's got to lose their land. Jackson was in
(03:06):
charge of bartering peace between them, and he made sure
that everyone was punished, even the Creeks who had allied
themselves with the United States. At the end of it all,
the United States took twenty three million acres of their land.
So that's just a little you know, background on Andrew Jackson.
(03:26):
What a guy. But in this episode, we're meeting up
with him in eighteen thirty seven, at the very end
of his presidency. At this point, he was less of
a sharp knife and more of a dull blade. And
less old hickory and more like a soggy old log.
He was getting up there in age and feeble after
serving eight controversial years in the office of the presidency.
(03:49):
He wasn't doing too good. He had a bullet lodged
in his chest. He was falling apart after years of
being an angry son of a bitch. Yeah, that's a diagnosis.
And while his legacy reeks of human suffering, he also
left his office literally reeking. That's right. When Martin Van
Buren took over the presidency after Jackson in March of
(04:11):
eighteen thirty seven, he made a big change. He said
that food was banned during presidential receptions because of Jackson's
last big party. He left the White House reeking of cheese.
(04:35):
This is American filth. I'm your host, Gabby Watts. Every
week I tell you a filthy story from American history.
Today's episode a Tale of Two Cheeses. Wow, did you
(04:56):
guys like that intro? How I went from a reek
to human suffering to wreaking of cheese? Was it a
weak transition? I don't care, but yes. Andrew Jackson's last
public appearance as president was alongside a massive wheel of
cheese at the President's House, which, by the way, that's
what the White House was called until nineteen oh one.
(05:19):
And he had invited all of Washington, DC and beyond
to come and feast. Here's a letter that Jackson wrote
on February fourth, eighteen thirty seven, inviting a friend to
the party. And I did paraphase it a little bit
to make it less boring. It goes, my dear sir.
The third of March is approaching with great joy, before
(05:40):
which I hope to see you here. By then I
intend to have eaten my large cheese presented by my
friends of the state of New York. Can you be
here and partake of the feast? It will be my
last and only public day. Oh jolly day getting that
wheel of cheese. All right, so I keep talking about
(06:02):
this cheese. Do you want to guess how big the
cheese was? Make your guesses now, Okay, it was fourteen
hundred pounds. Wow. It was like a literal wheel of cheese.
Like you could use it as a wheel, you know.
And if you did use it as a wheel, you
could wheel it through the filth filled streets of Jacksony
(06:25):
in America, and then it would smell exactly like blue cheese.
Amazing here, Yeah, that's right, I'm coming for the blue cheese.
I'm a hater. But just to tell you a very
important thing. The cheese that Jackson had it was a cheddar.
And while cheese doesn't have to be fresh, yes, it's
good to age it. I suppose by the time that
(06:46):
there was this big cheese party, this cheese had been
sitting in the entry hall of the President's House for
over a year. M yummy, So where did these fourteen
hundred pounds of cheese come from? Thanks for asking this cheese.
It was a gift. This cheese was created by a
dude named Colonel Thomas Meecham from Sandy Creek, a small
(07:09):
town in New York State. He's a rich dude with
a dairy farm. His farm and processing plant was about
a mile from the railroad, and meetchim he actually wasn't
the biggest fan of Andrew Jackson. In fact, he was
a supporter of Henry Clay, Jackson's Whig opponent, and so
Meetcham wanted to show Jackson how amazing New York State
(07:30):
was at industry and making stuff kind of out of spite, like, hey,
a bunch of people who don't support you can do
amazing things. And you know what, I got these fancy buildings,
and I got industrious people at my disposal. We're gonna
make something grand for you. That's right, I'm gonna make
a big fucking cheese for you. Also, let me say
(07:51):
it's important for men who are getting older to have hobbies,
So thanks Meachum. Anyway, Meecham went about making a big
ass cheese starting in September of eighteen thirty five. He
had a carpenter make special equipment to facilitate the making
of the cheese, and he was able to source the
milk and curds from his one hundred and fifty dairy cows.
(08:15):
After many milkings and many curdings and boils and toils,
finally the cheese was completed, all fourteen hundred pounds of
this curdled beauty, and Meecham the cheese overlord. He was like, well,
I'm not going to just make Jackson a cheese. I'm
going to make some other cheeses for some other dudes.
(08:36):
So he made four smaller wheels a mere seven hundred
pounds for Vice President Martin Van Buren. The Governor of
New York and the mayors of New York City and Rochester.
But plot twist, guys, this ginormous wheel of cheese was
actually a hack gift. That's right. It had been done before.
(08:56):
Another president had also received the big cheese about thirty
years before. That's right. On New Year's Day eighteen oh two,
Thomas Jefferson opened the doors of the President's house and
was alarmed when he was greeted by a parade of
Baptist presenting a colossal cheddar. All right, so let's just
(09:18):
leave Andrew Jackson's cheese where it is. I'm going to
go on a very long tangent about Thomas Jefferson's cheese
that comprises most of the episode, but this cheese is
more interesting. So here we're with Thomas Jefferson. Now, you know,
he was a founding father. He was the third President
of the United States. I think when we look back
(09:40):
at Thomas Jefferson, a lot of us will say that
he was a bad dude, especially given the Sally Hemming situation,
but also when he was still alive, a lot of
people didn't like him as well. Unlike George Washington, who
was universally beloved by most Americans. People had a lot
of opinions about Thomas Jefferson, especially when he took the
(10:01):
office of the presidency in eighteen oh one. Some people
thought he'd been France too long and was basically a
French infidel who liked to fucking eat croissants. Disgusting. But
another thing was that Thomas Jefferson was a big proponent
of the separation of church and state, and that also
didn't sit well with people. They were like, God has
(10:22):
good judgment, why are you not asking him about taxes
and stuff. They saw the separation of church and state
as a huge threat to religious citizens. But the thing
is a lot of people applauded the separation of church
and state, even religious people. One big supporter was the
Baptist John Leland. Leland was from Massachusetts and was a
(10:49):
Baptist clergyman, and when he was young he had lived
in Virginia for about fourteen years preaching there. He might
have met Thomas Jefferson and they might have, you know,
had some brunches and talked about ideas. Their relationship is
not exactly known, but from the start was a big
Thomas Jefferson proponent. Because of the separation of church and
(11:10):
state stuff. And that was for a variety of reasons, because,
first of all, Leland was like, that will ensure religious freedom. Also,
state support of religion is idolatrous, so not even good
for religion. And the thing is he was a Baptist,
which was, in his opinion, a persecuted minority of Massachusetts.
(11:31):
So separation of church and state also made sure that
not one religious sect got to make all the rules.
It was like, ha, you can't exclude us just because
we're loser Baptists. So when Leland returned to Massachusetts in
seventeen ninety one, he settled in Cheshire and started preaching
in a mask quite a following, and then he turned
all of those Baptists into Republicans who would support someone
(11:52):
like Thomas Jefferson. He was like, fuck, that was federal Ascama.
And when Jefferson was running for president, Leland campaigned super
hard for him. And then when Jefferson won, Leyland was like, yes,
I am partly responsible for him becoming president. He was
so excited about Jefferson being president. He said, quote, the
(12:13):
greatest orbit in America is occupied by its brightest orb.
What a simp And So after Jefferson won, Leland was like,
I want to give him a nice gift to quote,
honor his republicanism and his support of religious liberty. And
as y'all know, what's the gift that won't stop, giving
(12:35):
a giant wheel of cheese. So Leland sent a directive
to the ladies of his congregation and was like, hey, ladies,
sorry to inconvenience you real quick, but I need y'all
to oversee the making of a big ass cheese. And
then he reached out to the rest of the town
of Cheshire. His directive to them was to quote, whoever
(12:55):
owned a cow, to bring every court of milk given
on a given day, or all the curd it would
make to the great cider nil. And then Leland made
a little joke. He was like, if you're going to contribute,
just so you know, I do not want the milk
of any Federalist cows. He he he he. He was like,
I don't want to taint the cheese with any of
(13:17):
those nasty cows, any of those loser cows quote, lest
it should leave the whole lump with a distasteful flavor.
So the date was decided. The cows were brought to
the cider mill. On July twentieth, eighteen oh one. A
local engineer built all the cheese stuff you need for
(13:38):
a big cheese, and once the ladies of the congregation
had received all the ingredients, they started making the Goliath.
And during the cheesemaking process, everyone stood around singing hymns
to the cheese baby. Once the cheddar was completed, it
(13:59):
was four feet in diameter, twelve point five feet in circumference,
and twelve inches thick. It totaled about twelve hundred pounds,
and at that point it was the biggest cheese anyone
in the US had ever seen. Leland called the cheese
the greatest cheese ever put to press in the New
(14:19):
World or old. The final touch was to engrave the
cheese with Jefferson's seal Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
And then came the matter of actually delivering the cheese.
Remember they're in Massachusetts, and they got to get to Washington,
d c. But Leland was gonna make sure it was
gonna be a grand procession. We'll be back after these
(14:43):
soothing advertisements. After the cheese was made, Leland wasn't just
gonna put that shit in a box and send it
via the mail. Also, making this cheese was such an
astonishing feat that Leland planned to take the cheese on tour.
He and some members of his congregation left in late
(15:05):
novem Umber eighteen oh one for the first leg of
the journey. They put the cheese in a sleigh to
start the five hundred mile journey to Washington, DC. By sleigh,
the cheese arrived at a port of the Hudson River,
and then it went on a sailboat called a sloop
to New York, and then it went to Baltimore, and
then finally it went by wagon to Washington. Everywhere it went,
(15:30):
huge crowds gathered, and Leland made speeches about religious liberty.
In Baltimore, a traveler recounted seeing the cheese. He said, quote,
the curiosity of the inhabitants of Baltimore was universally excited. Men, women,
and children flocked to see the mammoth cheese. Even gray
bearded shopkeepers neglected their counters and participated in the mammoth infatuation.
(15:57):
So yes, the cheddar was being called the mammoth cheese
and Leland the mammoth priest. But then is part of
the reason it was dubbed that was an insult, because
while there were plenty of people who were super stoked
to see the cheese, the cheese was also being politicized
and mocked by critics, particularly by federalists. They're like, this
(16:20):
mammoth cheese is ridiculous, and honestly, it's a very embarrassing
gift to give the president. Republicans are so embarrassing. For example,
when the cheese was loaded up in New York, a
newspaper mockingly wrote that there are some bakers in New
York now making a giant piece of bread, and that
there was someone in Albany making a giant bottle of ale.
(16:43):
And the article was like, now, mister Jefferson's friends, they
may not only have cheese, but bread, cheese, and porter mayor. Honestly,
I don't really know why that's an insult. That sounds great.
The cheese finally reached Washington, DC on December twenty ninth,
eighteen oh one. A huge crowd gathered and Land made
(17:05):
a speech upon his arrival, where he touted the separation
of church and state, saying we must have prohibition of
religious tests to prevent all hierarchy. And then on New
Year's Day eighteen oh one, Leland went directly to the
President's house to deliver the cheese in person to President Jefferson.
(17:27):
He knocked on the door and out came the President,
and then there was a little impromptu ceremony. Leland again
made a little speech. He said, the cheese was not
made by his lordship for his sacred majesty, not with
a view to gain dignified titles or lucrative offices, but
(17:47):
by the personal labor of free born farmers, without a
single slave to assist for an elective president of a
free people. That's right. God had no hand in making
this cheese, the same way he should not have any
hand in local politics. And then he said, we wish
(18:09):
to prove the love we bear to our president, not
by words alone, but indeed and in truth. That's right, people,
if you really love someone, why are you not making
them one thousand pounds of cheese? Now, how did President
Thomas Jefferson feel about accepting this mammoth cheese? Well, he
(18:29):
did seem to accept the gift with some awkwardness. First
of all, he had a policy where he could not
accept gifts, so he actually paid two hundred dollars for
the cheese, and after Leland gave his speech, Jefferson also
gave one. But it's orient thing. This might have been
an accident. Some people think that he was so shocked
by the cheese arriving at the house that he accidentally
(18:51):
received it in person instead of doing what he had
originally planned, which was just to give Leland and his
crew a nice thank you note. But since Leland and
members of his congregation and the cheese were just all there,
Jefferson might have felt pressure to also give a speech.
So it seems that some people think he took the
letter that he wrote and quickly changed it to the
(19:14):
second person and turned it into a little announcement so
as not to insult Leland. This is what Jefferson said
about the mammoth cheese. It was quote extraordinary proof of
the skill with which those domestic arts which contribute so
much to our daily comfort are practiced by them. And
then he sliced off a big hunk of that big
(19:35):
ass cheese. So woohoo, he finally received the cheese. But
the thing is this event, this impromptu ceremony, caused a
lot of issues. Okay, because Jefferson usually didn't make speeches.
It was very rare, and so his Federalist opponents were
very insulted by him doing this. They were like, wow,
(19:58):
Jefferson is giving a public announcement to the cheese, but
when he communicates to Congress, he only deigns to write
a letter. Wow, cheese over Congress. Fucking unbelievable. And again
the Federalists thought this cheese was insane. Like once Leland
and his party left, Jefferson was having a meeting with
(20:18):
some Federalists. Allegedly, these federalists thought the cheese was extremely
dumb and called it a monument to human weakness and folly.
So Thomas Jefferson getting a big cheese from some people
in Massachusetts. It's a silly story. And some historians think
that this event was completely inconsequential in US history. But
(20:43):
come on, it's a mammoth cheese. How could that be inconsequential.
But other people think that Jefferson receiving this curty gift
might have encouraged him to write a letter called the
Wall of Separation, which just reiterated separation of church and state.
And they think that the cheese prompted this because it
was written on the same day as he got the cheese.
(21:04):
That Wall of separation letter says, I contemplate with sovereign
reverence that the Act of the whole American People, which
declared that their legislators should make no law respecting an
establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus
building a wall of separation between church and state. That
(21:25):
was a lot of words together, but basically he's just saying, yes,
separation of church and state. Ten out of ten. But
blah blah blah. Politics, la la la la. The real
question is what happened to that cheese. Well, no one
is exactly sure. Some people think that the cheese was
eaten on Independence Day in eighteen o two and eighteen
(21:48):
oh three. Some people think that servants would cut pieces
off of it and would eat it as a little
snack from time to time, And then other reports said
that by June eighteen oh two the cheese was already spoiled,
so there's a lot of maggots inside of it, and
a sixty pounds of it had to be cut off
and tossed. But there is some reason to think that
the cheese was there until like eighteen oh four, because
(22:10):
there's this fun story where a senator in eighteen oh
four named William Plummer was at the President's house having
dinner with Jefferson, and Plumber said it was a fine meal.
Quote His dinner was elegant and rich, except for the cheese,
which was that very cheese from Leland. When Plumber ate
this cheese, he said that it was quote very far
(22:34):
from being good. Some people think that a little time
after this, the cheese was completely expired and the rest
of it was finally dumped in the Potomac River. So yeah,
so wasteful. Thomas Jefferson didn't eat all of his cheese.
Kind of rude. Honestly, if I'm getting twelve hundred pounds
(22:57):
of cheese, I'm eating that cheese. But that would not
be the fate of Andrew Jackson's cheese. Let's go back
to Colonel Meacham. I remember his cheese instead of twelve
hundred pounds, is fourteen hundred Wowa wow. That additional two
hundred pounds represents thirty years of innovation. Anyway, after Meacham
completed the cheese, like Leland, he had to take it
(23:19):
to Washington, DC, and again he was gonna make sure
it was a big ass hubbub along the route. So
Meechim and his crew started their journey in November eighteen
thirty five. He was a bit of a showman, so
for the first leg of the journey, he got this
big wagon and painted it with bright colors and had
twenty four horses pull the wagon that had the cheese
(23:40):
in it, and then the cheese went by boat. Once
they reached Port Ontario. When the cheese and Colonel Meacham
were on the boat, allegedly he had a band play
with cannons firing. This cheese went through New York City, Philadelphia,
Baltimore where all these people would come out and see
the cheese. Wow. Amazing. Once Meacham and his crew reached
(24:03):
d C, he was taken to the President's house to
formally present the cheese. This time it was also New
Year's Day, but eighteen thirty six, and as a thank
you to meet him for the cheese, Jackson wrote a
letter that was basically like, oh my God, thank you
for this cheese. It really shows how New York State
is amazing at stuff. I agree you are great. I
(24:24):
love when people labor. Great job. After the cheese was presented.
It sat in the entry hall of the President's House
for about a year, but then finally it was time
to feast. The feast day when Jackson invited everyone DC
to come eat the cheese was going to be on
George Washington's birthday, February twenty second, eighteen thirty seven, and
(24:47):
again this was going to be Jackson's last public appearance
as president. A notice had been written in a Washington
newspaper that said, we understand the President designs to offer
this great cheese, which is finally flavored and in fine preservation,
to his fellow citizens who visit him on Wednesday next
the President from New York will be sir in the
hall of the President's mansion. And Wow, when you're invited
(25:13):
to come eat some cheese at the President's house, you
gotta do it. You gotta go. Everyone in DC was
taking Jackson up on the invitation. Men, women, and children
from every social class descended upon the President's House ready
to eat. Even before they got to the entry hall,
they were already assaulted with the smell. One newspaper wrote,
(25:35):
there arose an exceedingly strong smell, so strong as to
overpower a number of dandies and laxadaisical ladies. And here's
a fun thing. None other than Mark Twain wrote about
the party in a Washington newspaper. He said, the President's
house was thrown open. The multitude swarmed in the Senate
(25:58):
of the United States adjourned, the representatives of the various
departments turned out representatives, and swarms left the cap all
for the purpose of eating cheese. The court, the fashion,
the beauty of Washington were all eating cheese. Officers in Washington,
foreign representatives, and stars and garters, gay, gorgeous, joyous and
dashing women in all the pride and pomp of wealth
(26:21):
were eating cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese was on everybody's lips
and in everybody's mouth. All you heard was cheese, All
you saw was cheese, All you smelt was cheese. It
was cheese, cheese, cheese. Streams of cheese were going up
the avenue in everyone's fists. Balls of cheese were in
hundreds of pockets. Every handkerchief smelt of cheese. The whole
(26:43):
atmosphere for half a mile was infected and reeked of cheese.
Mark Twayne is really painting a picture that there was
a lot of cheese. And the thing is, there were
so many people coming to the President's house to eat
the cheese that the house got overrun. People who couldn't
get through the front doors were hurdling themselves through the
(27:03):
windows just so they could get a window bit of
that chedda And even though this cheese was perhaps the
worst charcooterie board ever to exist, they devoured the cheese
in about two hours. Anyway, while all these people came
to the President's House seat the cheese, Jackson was so
(27:25):
feeble that he just sat down the whole time and
eventually had to leave during the devouring of the cheese.
And so he got Vice President Van Buren to step in,
and he was like, yeah, you shake everyone's hands. I'm
tired now. And then in the aftermath, the smell was
so bad because as people had been going to get
(27:45):
the cheese, you know, the cheese was falling apart. There
was debris all over the ground, and then that debris
got stomped into the carpets. And for months and months
after this, the President's house reaped. And not only did
it reak, the smell of cheese also attracted a bunch
of pests and bugs South had an even bigger bug
(28:07):
problem than usual during this time. So yeah, those were
the two cheeses that have been given to our presidents.
And so far as I know, since Jackson's mammoth cheese,
no other president has personally received a large wheel of cheese.
(28:27):
That being said, though, cheese has gotten bigger and bigger.
Like if you were so moved by this story that
you were like, hmm, I want to give a gift
of big ass cheese to President Biden, You're gonna have
to make an even bigger one. Like cheese tech has
really expanded since Jefferson and Jackson's time. For example, in
nineteen eleven, at the National Dairy Show in Chicago, a
(28:49):
cheesemaker presented a twelve thousand pound cheese right the other
one for twelve hundred fourteen hundred is twelve thousand pound cheese.
Apparently at the time President Taft was there and he
was like, damn, that's a big ass cheese. He also
said that it tasted good. But the thing is, people
still call big cheeses mammoth cheeses, so that's stuck. But
that twelve thousand pound cheese, that's a teeny tiny baby cheese.
(29:13):
Compared to what's been made later. Cheesemakers in Wisconsin in
nineteen eighty eight made a cheddar that was forty thousand pounds,
but unfortunately for Wisconsin, they got beat. The current Guinness
Book World record holder for largest cheese cow's milk is
held by a Canadian cheesemaker. That cheese is fifty seven,
(29:35):
five hundred and eighteen pounds. Oh. That shows the power
of socialized medicine. This has been another episode of American Filth.
As always we learn a lesson, and I think the
lesson today is if you want to break into the
White House, it seems an easy way to do that
would be to present the president with a large thing
(29:56):
of cheese as a ruse, because apparently in the past
you could just walk right up there and be like,
here's a cheese, thanks so much. American Field is a
production of School of Humans and iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host,
Gabby Watts. This episode was written a mixed by me.
(30:16):
The theme song is by me and Jesse Niswanger. Amelia
Brock is the show senior producer, and our executive producers
are Virginia Presscod, Brandon Barr, and Elsie Crowley. Please like,
and subscribe to the podcast, where if you listen, leave
a review, if it's nice or if it's not nice,
make it funny. And also you can follow the show
on Instagram at American Filth Pod. Bye School of Humans.
School of Humans. Hello, my precious filth fans. I know
I haven't had a new episode in a couple of weeks,
but I've been sick, I've been traveling, blah blah blah. Excuse, excuse,
But I promise starting next week we're going to have
some new episodes. We're gonna have an episode on toilet paper. Yeah,
a whole episode about wiping your butt. Got some episodes
(00:31):
on syphilis coming out, and also about straw hats. It's
gonna be huge. In the meantime. This isn't history, per se.
I mean it's kind of more recent history. But I
really want to do a story about the time Hooters
had an airline. Do you guys remember that Hooters air
It was a very brief period of time. It was
(00:51):
in two thousand and three, two thousand and three, about
two thousand and six they had one. Which is crazy
because like the executives at Hooters saw nine to eleven
and they're like, we got to get into the plane business.
Maybe planes were cheap at the time. I don't know,
but I do want to do a story about Hooters
are as an American filth episode. So if you are
someone whoever flew on Hooters there, Please let me know.
(01:15):
I know it only flew to a few locations like
Atlantic City and Myrtle Beach, you know, the only two
places anyone would ever want to go. But if you
ever flew on Hooters air, can you please send me
a message on our Instagram at American Filth Pod or
you can stalk me on my Instagram send me a DM.
Whatever I do think this American Filth episode about Hooters
There will be my life's work and it will complete me,
(01:38):
so let me know. But in the meantime, here is
one of my favorite episodes about cheese, and I swear
we'll be back next week with new stuff. What do
we know about the seventh President of the United States,
Andrew Jackson? Well, to sum up, he's on the twenty
dollars bill to celebrate his long legacy of being a moody,
(02:01):
bitch en slave owner who committed a shit ton of
genocide against the indigital people. Yes, that is a very
truncated biography, but I also think it's pretty accurate. He
got the nickname of Old Hickory during the War of
eighteen twelve. At that time, he was an inexperienced, hot
(02:22):
headed general, but when he got in order to evacuate
a battle, he made sure all of his soldiers could
make the trek. He even gave up his horse for
the sick and injured and just walked on the ground
with his own legs. Wow, such a nice guy. The
Creek Indians had a very different name for him. They
(02:45):
called him sharp Knife because of his inability to compromise
on anything and being a violent, hard ass bitch. During
the Creek Civil War, half of the Creek wanted to
attack the United States settlements on their land, but the
other half wanted to ally themselves with the United States,
so he's got to lose their land. Jackson was in
(03:06):
charge of bartering peace between them, and he made sure
that everyone was punished, even the Creeks who had allied
themselves with the United States. At the end of it all,
the United States took twenty three million acres of their land.
So that's just a little you know, background on Andrew Jackson.
(03:26):
What a guy. But in this episode, we're meeting up
with him in eighteen thirty seven, at the very end
of his presidency. At this point, he was less of
a sharp knife and more of a dull blade. And
less old hickory and more like a soggy old log.
He was getting up there in age and feeble after
serving eight controversial years in the office of the presidency.
(03:49):
He wasn't doing too good. He had a bullet lodged
in his chest. He was falling apart after years of
being an angry son of a bitch. Yeah, that's a diagnosis.
And while his legacy reeks of human suffering, he also
left his office literally reeking. That's right. When Martin Van
Buren took over the presidency after Jackson in March of
(04:11):
eighteen thirty seven, he made a big change. He said
that food was banned during presidential receptions because of Jackson's
last big party. He left the White House reeking of cheese.
(04:35):
This is American filth. I'm your host, Gabby Watts. Every
week I tell you a filthy story from American history.
Today's episode a Tale of Two Cheeses. Wow, did you
(04:56):
guys like that intro? How I went from a reek
to human suffering to wreaking of cheese? Was it a
weak transition? I don't care, but yes. Andrew Jackson's last
public appearance as president was alongside a massive wheel of
cheese at the President's House, which, by the way, that's
what the White House was called until nineteen oh one.
(05:19):
And he had invited all of Washington, DC and beyond
to come and feast. Here's a letter that Jackson wrote
on February fourth, eighteen thirty seven, inviting a friend to
the party. And I did paraphase it a little bit
to make it less boring. It goes, my dear sir.
The third of March is approaching with great joy, before
(05:40):
which I hope to see you here. By then I
intend to have eaten my large cheese presented by my
friends of the state of New York. Can you be
here and partake of the feast? It will be my
last and only public day. Oh jolly day getting that
wheel of cheese. All right, so I keep talking about
(06:02):
this cheese. Do you want to guess how big the
cheese was? Make your guesses now, Okay, it was fourteen
hundred pounds. Wow. It was like a literal wheel of cheese.
Like you could use it as a wheel, you know.
And if you did use it as a wheel, you
could wheel it through the filth filled streets of Jacksony
(06:25):
in America, and then it would smell exactly like blue cheese.
Amazing here, Yeah, that's right, I'm coming for the blue cheese.
I'm a hater. But just to tell you a very
important thing. The cheese that Jackson had it was a cheddar.
And while cheese doesn't have to be fresh, yes, it's
good to age it. I suppose by the time that
(06:46):
there was this big cheese party, this cheese had been
sitting in the entry hall of the President's House for
over a year. M yummy, So where did these fourteen
hundred pounds of cheese come from? Thanks for asking this cheese.
It was a gift. This cheese was created by a
dude named Colonel Thomas Meecham from Sandy Creek, a small
(07:09):
town in New York State. He's a rich dude with
a dairy farm. His farm and processing plant was about
a mile from the railroad, and meetchim he actually wasn't
the biggest fan of Andrew Jackson. In fact, he was
a supporter of Henry Clay, Jackson's Whig opponent, and so
Meetcham wanted to show Jackson how amazing New York State
(07:30):
was at industry and making stuff kind of out of spite, like, hey,
a bunch of people who don't support you can do
amazing things. And you know what, I got these fancy buildings,
and I got industrious people at my disposal. We're gonna
make something grand for you. That's right, I'm gonna make
a big fucking cheese for you. Also, let me say
(07:51):
it's important for men who are getting older to have hobbies,
So thanks Meachum. Anyway, Meecham went about making a big
ass cheese starting in September of eighteen thirty five. He
had a carpenter make special equipment to facilitate the making
of the cheese, and he was able to source the
milk and curds from his one hundred and fifty dairy cows.
(08:15):
After many milkings and many curdings and boils and toils,
finally the cheese was completed, all fourteen hundred pounds of
this curdled beauty, and Meecham the cheese overlord. He was like, well,
I'm not going to just make Jackson a cheese. I'm
going to make some other cheeses for some other dudes.
(08:36):
So he made four smaller wheels a mere seven hundred
pounds for Vice President Martin Van Buren. The Governor of
New York and the mayors of New York City and Rochester.
But plot twist, guys, this ginormous wheel of cheese was
actually a hack gift. That's right. It had been done before.
(08:56):
Another president had also received the big cheese about thirty
years before. That's right. On New Year's Day eighteen oh two,
Thomas Jefferson opened the doors of the President's house and
was alarmed when he was greeted by a parade of
Baptist presenting a colossal cheddar. All right, so let's just
(09:18):
leave Andrew Jackson's cheese where it is. I'm going to
go on a very long tangent about Thomas Jefferson's cheese
that comprises most of the episode, but this cheese is
more interesting. So here we're with Thomas Jefferson. Now, you know,
he was a founding father. He was the third President
of the United States. I think when we look back
(09:40):
at Thomas Jefferson, a lot of us will say that
he was a bad dude, especially given the Sally Hemming situation,
but also when he was still alive, a lot of
people didn't like him as well. Unlike George Washington, who
was universally beloved by most Americans. People had a lot
of opinions about Thomas Jefferson, especially when he took the
(10:01):
office of the presidency in eighteen oh one. Some people
thought he'd been France too long and was basically a
French infidel who liked to fucking eat croissants. Disgusting. But
another thing was that Thomas Jefferson was a big proponent
of the separation of church and state, and that also
didn't sit well with people. They were like, God has
(10:22):
good judgment, why are you not asking him about taxes
and stuff. They saw the separation of church and state
as a huge threat to religious citizens. But the thing
is a lot of people applauded the separation of church
and state, even religious people. One big supporter was the
Baptist John Leland. Leland was from Massachusetts and was a
(10:49):
Baptist clergyman, and when he was young he had lived
in Virginia for about fourteen years preaching there. He might
have met Thomas Jefferson and they might have, you know,
had some brunches and talked about ideas. Their relationship is
not exactly known, but from the start was a big
Thomas Jefferson proponent. Because of the separation of church and
(11:10):
state stuff. And that was for a variety of reasons, because,
first of all, Leland was like, that will ensure religious freedom. Also,
state support of religion is idolatrous, so not even good
for religion. And the thing is he was a Baptist,
which was, in his opinion, a persecuted minority of Massachusetts.
(11:31):
So separation of church and state also made sure that
not one religious sect got to make all the rules.
It was like, ha, you can't exclude us just because
we're loser Baptists. So when Leland returned to Massachusetts in
seventeen ninety one, he settled in Cheshire and started preaching
in a mask quite a following, and then he turned
all of those Baptists into Republicans who would support someone
(11:52):
like Thomas Jefferson. He was like, fuck, that was federal Ascama.
And when Jefferson was running for president, Leland campaigned super
hard for him. And then when Jefferson won, Leyland was like, yes,
I am partly responsible for him becoming president. He was
so excited about Jefferson being president. He said, quote, the
(12:13):
greatest orbit in America is occupied by its brightest orb.
What a simp And So after Jefferson won, Leland was like,
I want to give him a nice gift to quote,
honor his republicanism and his support of religious liberty. And
as y'all know, what's the gift that won't stop, giving
(12:35):
a giant wheel of cheese. So Leland sent a directive
to the ladies of his congregation and was like, hey, ladies,
sorry to inconvenience you real quick, but I need y'all
to oversee the making of a big ass cheese. And
then he reached out to the rest of the town
of Cheshire. His directive to them was to quote, whoever
(12:55):
owned a cow, to bring every court of milk given
on a given day, or all the curd it would
make to the great cider nil. And then Leland made
a little joke. He was like, if you're going to contribute,
just so you know, I do not want the milk
of any Federalist cows. He he he he. He was like,
I don't want to taint the cheese with any of
(13:17):
those nasty cows, any of those loser cows quote, lest
it should leave the whole lump with a distasteful flavor.
So the date was decided. The cows were brought to
the cider mill. On July twentieth, eighteen oh one. A
local engineer built all the cheese stuff you need for
(13:38):
a big cheese, and once the ladies of the congregation
had received all the ingredients, they started making the Goliath.
And during the cheesemaking process, everyone stood around singing hymns
to the cheese baby. Once the cheddar was completed, it
(13:59):
was four feet in diameter, twelve point five feet in circumference,
and twelve inches thick. It totaled about twelve hundred pounds,
and at that point it was the biggest cheese anyone
in the US had ever seen. Leland called the cheese
the greatest cheese ever put to press in the New
(14:19):
World or old. The final touch was to engrave the
cheese with Jefferson's seal Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
And then came the matter of actually delivering the cheese.
Remember they're in Massachusetts, and they got to get to Washington,
d c. But Leland was gonna make sure it was
gonna be a grand procession. We'll be back after these
(14:43):
soothing advertisements. After the cheese was made, Leland wasn't just
gonna put that shit in a box and send it
via the mail. Also, making this cheese was such an
astonishing feat that Leland planned to take the cheese on tour.
He and some members of his congregation left in late
(15:05):
novem Umber eighteen oh one for the first leg of
the journey. They put the cheese in a sleigh to
start the five hundred mile journey to Washington, DC. By sleigh,
the cheese arrived at a port of the Hudson River,
and then it went on a sailboat called a sloop
to New York, and then it went to Baltimore, and
then finally it went by wagon to Washington. Everywhere it went,
(15:30):
huge crowds gathered, and Leland made speeches about religious liberty.
In Baltimore, a traveler recounted seeing the cheese. He said, quote,
the curiosity of the inhabitants of Baltimore was universally excited. Men, women,
and children flocked to see the mammoth cheese. Even gray
bearded shopkeepers neglected their counters and participated in the mammoth infatuation.
(15:57):
So yes, the cheddar was being called the mammoth cheese
and Leland the mammoth priest. But then is part of
the reason it was dubbed that was an insult, because
while there were plenty of people who were super stoked
to see the cheese, the cheese was also being politicized
and mocked by critics, particularly by federalists. They're like, this
(16:20):
mammoth cheese is ridiculous, and honestly, it's a very embarrassing
gift to give the president. Republicans are so embarrassing. For example,
when the cheese was loaded up in New York, a
newspaper mockingly wrote that there are some bakers in New
York now making a giant piece of bread, and that
there was someone in Albany making a giant bottle of ale.
(16:43):
And the article was like, now, mister Jefferson's friends, they
may not only have cheese, but bread, cheese, and porter mayor. Honestly,
I don't really know why that's an insult. That sounds great.
The cheese finally reached Washington, DC on December twenty ninth,
eighteen oh one. A huge crowd gathered and Land made
(17:05):
a speech upon his arrival, where he touted the separation
of church and state, saying we must have prohibition of
religious tests to prevent all hierarchy. And then on New
Year's Day eighteen oh one, Leland went directly to the
President's house to deliver the cheese in person to President Jefferson.
(17:27):
He knocked on the door and out came the President,
and then there was a little impromptu ceremony. Leland again
made a little speech. He said, the cheese was not
made by his lordship for his sacred majesty, not with
a view to gain dignified titles or lucrative offices, but
(17:47):
by the personal labor of free born farmers, without a
single slave to assist for an elective president of a
free people. That's right. God had no hand in making
this cheese, the same way he should not have any
hand in local politics. And then he said, we wish
(18:09):
to prove the love we bear to our president, not
by words alone, but indeed and in truth. That's right, people,
if you really love someone, why are you not making
them one thousand pounds of cheese? Now, how did President
Thomas Jefferson feel about accepting this mammoth cheese? Well, he
(18:29):
did seem to accept the gift with some awkwardness. First
of all, he had a policy where he could not
accept gifts, so he actually paid two hundred dollars for
the cheese, and after Leland gave his speech, Jefferson also
gave one. But it's orient thing. This might have been
an accident. Some people think that he was so shocked
by the cheese arriving at the house that he accidentally
(18:51):
received it in person instead of doing what he had
originally planned, which was just to give Leland and his
crew a nice thank you note. But since Leland and
members of his congregation and the cheese were just all there,
Jefferson might have felt pressure to also give a speech.
So it seems that some people think he took the
letter that he wrote and quickly changed it to the
(19:14):
second person and turned it into a little announcement so
as not to insult Leland. This is what Jefferson said
about the mammoth cheese. It was quote extraordinary proof of
the skill with which those domestic arts which contribute so
much to our daily comfort are practiced by them. And
then he sliced off a big hunk of that big
(19:35):
ass cheese. So woohoo, he finally received the cheese. But
the thing is this event, this impromptu ceremony, caused a
lot of issues. Okay, because Jefferson usually didn't make speeches.
It was very rare, and so his Federalist opponents were
very insulted by him doing this. They were like, wow,
(19:58):
Jefferson is giving a public announcement to the cheese, but
when he communicates to Congress, he only deigns to write
a letter. Wow, cheese over Congress. Fucking unbelievable. And again
the Federalists thought this cheese was insane. Like once Leland
and his party left, Jefferson was having a meeting with
(20:18):
some Federalists. Allegedly, these federalists thought the cheese was extremely
dumb and called it a monument to human weakness and folly.
So Thomas Jefferson getting a big cheese from some people
in Massachusetts. It's a silly story. And some historians think
that this event was completely inconsequential in US history. But
(20:43):
come on, it's a mammoth cheese. How could that be inconsequential.
But other people think that Jefferson receiving this curty gift
might have encouraged him to write a letter called the
Wall of Separation, which just reiterated separation of church and state.
And they think that the cheese prompted this because it
was written on the same day as he got the cheese.
(21:04):
That Wall of separation letter says, I contemplate with sovereign
reverence that the Act of the whole American People, which
declared that their legislators should make no law respecting an
establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus
building a wall of separation between church and state. That
(21:25):
was a lot of words together, but basically he's just saying, yes,
separation of church and state. Ten out of ten. But
blah blah blah. Politics, la la la la. The real
question is what happened to that cheese. Well, no one
is exactly sure. Some people think that the cheese was
eaten on Independence Day in eighteen o two and eighteen
(21:48):
oh three. Some people think that servants would cut pieces
off of it and would eat it as a little
snack from time to time, And then other reports said
that by June eighteen oh two the cheese was already spoiled,
so there's a lot of maggots inside of it, and
a sixty pounds of it had to be cut off
and tossed. But there is some reason to think that
the cheese was there until like eighteen oh four, because
(22:10):
there's this fun story where a senator in eighteen oh
four named William Plummer was at the President's house having
dinner with Jefferson, and Plumber said it was a fine meal.
Quote His dinner was elegant and rich, except for the cheese,
which was that very cheese from Leland. When Plumber ate
this cheese, he said that it was quote very far
(22:34):
from being good. Some people think that a little time
after this, the cheese was completely expired and the rest
of it was finally dumped in the Potomac River. So yeah,
so wasteful. Thomas Jefferson didn't eat all of his cheese.
Kind of rude. Honestly, if I'm getting twelve hundred pounds
(22:57):
of cheese, I'm eating that cheese. But that would not
be the fate of Andrew Jackson's cheese. Let's go back
to Colonel Meacham. I remember his cheese instead of twelve
hundred pounds, is fourteen hundred Wowa wow. That additional two
hundred pounds represents thirty years of innovation. Anyway, after Meacham
completed the cheese, like Leland, he had to take it
(23:19):
to Washington, DC, and again he was gonna make sure
it was a big ass hubbub along the route. So
Meechim and his crew started their journey in November eighteen
thirty five. He was a bit of a showman, so
for the first leg of the journey, he got this
big wagon and painted it with bright colors and had
twenty four horses pull the wagon that had the cheese
(23:40):
in it, and then the cheese went by boat. Once
they reached Port Ontario. When the cheese and Colonel Meacham
were on the boat, allegedly he had a band play
with cannons firing. This cheese went through New York City, Philadelphia,
Baltimore where all these people would come out and see
the cheese. Wow. Amazing. Once Meacham and his crew reached
(24:03):
d C, he was taken to the President's house to
formally present the cheese. This time it was also New
Year's Day, but eighteen thirty six, and as a thank
you to meet him for the cheese, Jackson wrote a
letter that was basically like, oh my God, thank you
for this cheese. It really shows how New York State
is amazing at stuff. I agree you are great. I
(24:24):
love when people labor. Great job. After the cheese was presented.
It sat in the entry hall of the President's House
for about a year, but then finally it was time
to feast. The feast day when Jackson invited everyone DC
to come eat the cheese was going to be on
George Washington's birthday, February twenty second, eighteen thirty seven, and
(24:47):
again this was going to be Jackson's last public appearance
as president. A notice had been written in a Washington
newspaper that said, we understand the President designs to offer
this great cheese, which is finally flavored and in fine preservation,
to his fellow citizens who visit him on Wednesday next
the President from New York will be sir in the
hall of the President's mansion. And Wow, when you're invited
(25:13):
to come eat some cheese at the President's house, you
gotta do it. You gotta go. Everyone in DC was
taking Jackson up on the invitation. Men, women, and children
from every social class descended upon the President's House ready
to eat. Even before they got to the entry hall,
they were already assaulted with the smell. One newspaper wrote,
(25:35):
there arose an exceedingly strong smell, so strong as to
overpower a number of dandies and laxadaisical ladies. And here's
a fun thing. None other than Mark Twain wrote about
the party in a Washington newspaper. He said, the President's
house was thrown open. The multitude swarmed in the Senate
(25:58):
of the United States adjourned, the representatives of the various
departments turned out representatives, and swarms left the cap all
for the purpose of eating cheese. The court, the fashion,
the beauty of Washington were all eating cheese. Officers in Washington,
foreign representatives, and stars and garters, gay, gorgeous, joyous and
dashing women in all the pride and pomp of wealth
(26:21):
were eating cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese was on everybody's lips
and in everybody's mouth. All you heard was cheese, All
you saw was cheese, All you smelt was cheese. It
was cheese, cheese, cheese. Streams of cheese were going up
the avenue in everyone's fists. Balls of cheese were in
hundreds of pockets. Every handkerchief smelt of cheese. The whole
(26:43):
atmosphere for half a mile was infected and reeked of cheese.
Mark Twayne is really painting a picture that there was
a lot of cheese. And the thing is, there were
so many people coming to the President's house to eat
the cheese that the house got overrun. People who couldn't
get through the front doors were hurdling themselves through the
(27:03):
windows just so they could get a window bit of
that chedda And even though this cheese was perhaps the
worst charcooterie board ever to exist, they devoured the cheese
in about two hours. Anyway, while all these people came
to the President's House seat the cheese, Jackson was so
(27:25):
feeble that he just sat down the whole time and
eventually had to leave during the devouring of the cheese.
And so he got Vice President Van Buren to step in,
and he was like, yeah, you shake everyone's hands. I'm
tired now. And then in the aftermath, the smell was
so bad because as people had been going to get
(27:45):
the cheese, you know, the cheese was falling apart. There
was debris all over the ground, and then that debris
got stomped into the carpets. And for months and months
after this, the President's house reaped. And not only did
it reak, the smell of cheese also attracted a bunch
of pests and bugs South had an even bigger bug
(28:07):
problem than usual during this time. So yeah, those were
the two cheeses that have been given to our presidents.
And so far as I know, since Jackson's mammoth cheese,
no other president has personally received a large wheel of cheese.
(28:27):
That being said, though, cheese has gotten bigger and bigger.
Like if you were so moved by this story that
you were like, hmm, I want to give a gift
of big ass cheese to President Biden, You're gonna have
to make an even bigger one. Like cheese tech has
really expanded since Jefferson and Jackson's time. For example, in
nineteen eleven, at the National Dairy Show in Chicago, a
(28:49):
cheesemaker presented a twelve thousand pound cheese right the other
one for twelve hundred fourteen hundred is twelve thousand pound cheese.
Apparently at the time President Taft was there and he
was like, damn, that's a big ass cheese. He also
said that it tasted good. But the thing is, people
still call big cheeses mammoth cheeses, so that's stuck. But
that twelve thousand pound cheese, that's a teeny tiny baby cheese.
(29:13):
Compared to what's been made later. Cheesemakers in Wisconsin in
nineteen eighty eight made a cheddar that was forty thousand pounds,
but unfortunately for Wisconsin, they got beat. The current Guinness
Book World record holder for largest cheese cow's milk is
held by a Canadian cheesemaker. That cheese is fifty seven,
(29:35):
five hundred and eighteen pounds. Oh. That shows the power
of socialized medicine. This has been another episode of American Filth.
As always we learn a lesson, and I think the
lesson today is if you want to break into the
White House, it seems an easy way to do that
would be to present the president with a large thing
(29:56):
of cheese as a ruse, because apparently in the past
you could just walk right up there and be like,
here's a cheese, thanks so much. American Field is a
production of School of Humans and iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host,
Gabby Watts. This episode was written a mixed by me.
(30:16):
The theme song is by me and Jesse Niswanger. Amelia
Brock is the show senior producer, and our executive producers
are Virginia Presscod, Brandon Barr, and Elsie Crowley. Please like,
and subscribe to the podcast, where if you listen, leave
a review, if it's nice or if it's not nice,
make it funny. And also you can follow the show
on Instagram at American Filth Pod. Bye School of Humans.
Host
Gabbie Watts
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