December 5, 2023 • 49 mins
Introducing "Amy & T.J."
Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes are back. Together again. Together, like never before.
And for the first time, ready to share the real story behind the headlines.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome everyone. I'm Amy Robots and I'm TJ.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Holmes.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
And we ain't said that in a year. It's been
a hell of a year.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Two.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
We have not introduced ourselves in any broadcast form in
a year.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
We haven't spoken to many people in a year.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Yeah, just each other.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
And here we are again, tight circle.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I should have done this podcast with somebody else, just
to branch out a little bit. You're the only person
I've talked to intimately in a year.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So seriously, you say the nicest things to me. No,
we're I don't. I can't speak for you, but I
am nervous. And we've been doing this for a long time,
almost three decades, and I can't remember the last time
I was nervous in front of a microphone, but I
am today.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Why you're ned because we haven't spoken.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We haven't said anything, and other people have had our story.
They've told our narrative. And I shouldn't say our they've
told a narrative. It isn't our narrative. And this is
the first time that we actually get to say what
happened and where we are today.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Well, you mean what happened? You have something on your mind?
Switness no, to your point, how many years you've been in.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
This business, twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
And I've got what twenty four, twenty three, twenty four
and in the past, so you for twenty seven years,
me for twenty three have not gone probably more than
two weeks without being in broadcast, without in some way,
form or fashion, being on television broadcasting in some way.
And we haven't done it for a year, and today
(01:40):
is the first time in a year.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And today is actually a special day. You want to
call it that, well, it's it's almost apropos that we
would have this podcast air on December fifth, because December fifth,
last year, exactly one year ago, today was the day
we were told not to come into work.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah, we never got a follow up call to say come.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Back, that's true. In fact, yeah, it was the opposite.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
And this wasn't planned. This is very it's strange, but
I mean, what a hell of a coincidence. Though it
was December fifth, we got a call that sealed our
fate and it's pretty much assured that we wouldn't be
going back on the air at ABC. We can get
into that a little more and just a little bit,
but I.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Mean, we're here.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Look there's a lot been said about us, and for
those that might be some who are we're familiar with
us a little bit, maybe a lot, maybe not at all.
But I guess the best way to sum us off
Amy and TJ is that we are the We're the
folks who lost the jobs we love because we love
each other and that is bottom line, and that is
why we are here now. And this is why, I mean,
(02:48):
it's been a hell of Look, you never know, there
are a lot of people listening wherever you are right now,
where there. Maybe you're running on the West Side Highway
right now, maybe you're at home taking care of whatever,
maybe on a drive, whatever you might be doing. But
for us, this journey has a lot of you understand
that life, love, marriage, relationships can be messy and usually are.
(03:12):
So I think, how did you put it? You wanted
to thank people who suspended judgment, I think is what
you said.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Well, I think we want to thank everybody who's listening
right now, any one of you out there who decided
to say hey, let me hear what they have to say.
We just want to say thank you because we haven't
had that opportunity yet. So yes, we're hoping and hopeful
that many of you have suspended judgment, that you haven't
believed everything you've read or seen or heard. We've even
(03:39):
been shocked and surprised at what's been said and what's
been written. But we want to thank you for sticking
around and giving us a chance to tell our side
of the story. And we have had the incredible pleasure
of running into people sometimes daily who have said the
kindest things to us over this past and it might
(04:01):
have just been a moment or or a passing thought,
but it meant the world to us in those moments
where we had people come up to us and say
we support you, we love you. When are you coming
back on the air, And it was a boost, And
we had some specific, really fun ones.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
One of them was just a few minutes ago.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
We happen to be talking to you right now from
a actually a hotel. We are sitting on a couch
here with several people in the room staring at us,
hearing the story. But on our way this moment to
this room to sit down for this podcast, the doors
open to the elevator. We step in and a woman says,
(04:42):
I know who you are. This just happened and she
starts going in I am such a fan of you, guys,
I am rooting for you. Congratulations. You look low and
as nervous as we are and have been all day
and getting this together. That woman just put us at ease.
It is just it was the last thing that happened
to us before we walked in here to do this.
But the couple at Bill's barn Burgery in downtown New
(05:05):
York that came up to us at the bar and said, guys,
you should hear our story. The flight attendant who was
so sweet to us say, guys, I fell in love
at work as well. The truck driver downtown brother rolled
his winded down, big tough guy. Hey, I'm a fan
of love. Congratulations. Those things have been incredible. And the
(05:28):
woman at Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
A Noble, she actually got tearful and she just told
us she missed us and she loved us, and to
keep on loving each other. There was a woman on
the escalator who just said, I am so happy that
y'all are still together and that y'all love each other.
I think in the end, all of us are always
rooting for love, and it doesn't always happen when you
want it to happen where you wanted to happen, and
(05:52):
it's undeniable, when it's real, and it's something you have
to navigate, and it's not easy. And anyone who's lived
enough life, I think, if they're really honest with themselves,
can attest to the fact that relationships are hard, they're messy,
they're not perfect. But we have fought for love and
(06:12):
I can say that I've never been happier I am
with my best friend. I'm not going to get cheesy,
I promise, although that was kind of cheesy, so I apologize. Sorry, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
More cheese.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yes, let's delveda this. I we have gone through I
think it's fair to say a year of hell, but
we have had each other through it all and had
a lot of support from our family, from a tight
circle of friends, and we have hopefully gotten through the
(06:46):
really tough stuff. And we have more work to do,
as all relationships will require. But it has been the
most beautiful relationship I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
So we say it's been a hell of a year.
And look, it's it's odd to say it when people ask.
It was even my mom was on the phone, I
had her own speaker. This was several months ago, and
she asked me how I was doing, and I said,
I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And she said, really, have you seen this magazine or
this stuff really possible?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
You're doing good? But we are. And look, there's there's
not a We're going to get into some stuff here
what happened over the past year, But the bottom line
is a lot of people are curious, and I know
some stuff is still being written, and I know we
still get Cheese Boy a photographer, so I know stuff
is out there. But bottom line, we have not said this.
(07:41):
I am in love with this woman and she's in
love with me, and we are planning a life together.
So anywhere you read anything that says a source close
to the couple says, or a friend of the couple says,
is a one fabrication because there is no one who
knows what has been going on between the two of
(08:02):
us and the conversations we've been having. So I'm not
accusing some publication of lying. Maybe they depending on a
source who wasn't really a source, but there is no
one who can say they know what had been happening
with us the past year except for us.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
And here we go.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes, we have spent a lot of time together you
and I have we not over these past almost well
twelve months now.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yeah, and so.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I guess we talked about we were into.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
The why of this anniversary is so odd, but this
really goes back to I guess really, November thirtieth is
the day. November thirtieth, twenty twenty two, was the day
that we were and this is very important. We were
out it. We were outed, We were outed. We were
not caught by a publication that outed us. And so
(08:53):
to be clear, we were out at as being in
a relationship, but everyone else thought we were being outed
at as adulters, being outed as cheating on our spouses,
and it wasn't the case. Because the odd thing is
that the day those pictures were taken and the day
that article was released that outed us, we had both
(09:16):
at that point been were in divorce proceedings.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, we had attorneys, mediators, We were in the middle
of divorces. I believe the first day the first picture
was taken, unbeknownst to us, was November tenth, and my
ex had already moved out of the house three months earlier.
And you pointed out pretty interestingly anyone who thinks we
(09:41):
were still in our marriages when those pictures were taken, Well,
the pictures actually tell the truth, don't they.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
They confirm it is, so I don't know why we
didn't put this together. The pictures that quote unquote outed
us the day I started being followed. The first day.
The first pictures that were taken were me coming out
of my apartment, my home in New York. That home
is where I reside by myself, and I have been
(10:08):
residing by myself since last summer. So the picture that
shows me that they're saying these two are cheating, the
picture actually confirms that I was out of my marriage,
because I'm coming out of a building which is not
where I shared a home with my ex wife now.
So it's funny to put it that way and to
(10:30):
say it that way, and to see it that way,
but that's actually true. But November thirtieth was a rough day.
You happen to be off work that day.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I was actually giving a speech in Washington, d C.
A breast cancer speech. It was a little bit of
a later Breast Cancer Awareness Month speech, a little bit
later in November, and I was at the podium and
I always have a phone up there just in case
for whatever reason. But it was buzzing NonStop, and everyone
who knew me knew I was giving a speech, so
(10:58):
I just thought it was strange and it wouldn't stop buzzing.
And it was. It was TJ. It was also I
think our executive producer. It was ABCPR, it was my
daughter's it was a number of people. I had no
idea that this article had been released and pictures had
been released while I'm standing in front of about five
(11:20):
hundred people. And I believe by the time I finished
the speech and was able to look at my phone,
I think it's fair to say I was probably the
last person to know what had just been released. And
you also were in a very uncomfortable position when your
phone started ringing.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Well, it rang in between segments because I was still
in studio tape in the show, and in between segments,
I got a call from a PR person asking and
saying this article was about to be released, and I
didn't have time to put a thought together. I didn't
have time to do any PR, I didn't have time
(12:02):
to handle any crisis at the time, because I literally
had to get back on set and continue taping a show.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Were you doing deals and steals or something? I believe
I think that's what you told me. So how you're
going on and doing the show, You're continuing with your
mind racing what is happening. We got no warning. I
think you got maybe there was a five minute work.
There was no opportunity for comment, There was no opportunity
to refute what they were saying. It was just going
(12:32):
to be released no matter what, and it was, and
then we had a lot of work to do that
day to try and figure out what the next best
step was. I don't know if we made the next
best step, but the first thing we did when I
flew back and we got together, we were putting together
a press release acknowledging that we were in a relationship.
(12:54):
Because it was one of those things where everyone in
my tight circle knew I was divorced. I took my
ring off early August. It was very clear to anyone
who knew me that I was in the middle of
the divorce. TJ is a much more private person than
me and just chose to keep that to himself. But
(13:15):
it was hard because anyone who was a viewer, anyone
outside of a very small circle, didn't know that either
one of us were getting divorced. So that was one
of the challenges we had in the beginning. So we
were trying to clear everything up, and we actually had
a press release ready to go.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah with the audience, and that's look, our viewers, fans.
I know there are plenty of people who followed us
for a long time, and for that, I mean, we
were trying to make the best call we could. But
we we shouldn't have allowed I can say that in hindsight,
but for folks to find out about our relationship before
they found out about our divorces. If people would have
heard earlier, okay, they're out of their relationship, now they're dating,
(13:51):
maybe an eyebrow would have been raised or something, but
it wouldn't have become what it became. And look at
that point, my daughter, I mean, she's ten. I was
still trying to get her adjusted to her new reality
of her parents not being together, and I've been working
on that for the past three four months. So I
(14:12):
didn't want to spring on her in that early that
Oh yeah, by the way, you know that Amy Robock,
who's actually you've known since you were one, has been
a part of the well I'm dating her now. I
didn't want to do that to her at the time,
but I hadn't even told my mom about the divorce,
So why the hell am I thinking about telling an
executive that the network about it. So that's just where
(14:32):
our heads were and hindsight, sure, and maybe we screwed up,
but in the immediate crisis of it all, and I
have it in my phone still saved a draft from
November thirtieth, the day this happened. Our statements, our draft
statements that have never been released that said, you made
a statement about what you were in your marriage. I
(14:53):
made a statement about my divorces proceeding, and those statements
were never released.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You don't know what to do. I don't think anyone
can prepare themselves to be in this type of a situation.
And like you, I also felt awful that my family
found out about us through a tabloid, which was difficult
for the exact same reasons that you mentioned. It's enough
to go through a divorce privately, for a family to
have to restructure and regroup and figure out what this
(15:23):
new normal is to then on top of all of that,
spring a new relationship on them. So we thought we
were protecting our children and our families, and we thought
we had time, and we thought we had a right
to privacy. And maybe that was foolish and silly. I
always used to say that doing what we did, we
had a beautiful amount of fame. It was just enough
(15:46):
to be fun and it wasn't too much to be
where you felt like you were being followed everywhere. So
I think I was naive to think that. I just
didn't think anybody would care that much. I didn't think
that it would be that big of a deal. I
didn't think I needed to put on Instead, my husband
and I are uncoupling, are consciously uncoupling, and we're going
to do the best we can for our families, and
(16:06):
we ask for your privacy. I know a lot of
celebrities do that. I just didn't think that it mattered
that much, that that was the level we were at.
In hindsight, yes that should have happened, that would have
made things better and easier, But we had no reason
to believe we were being followed. We were being photographed,
and there was an agenda we just had no idea
(16:27):
that that was even happening. And we were friends. We've
been friends for at that point eight years, so it
wasn't unusual for us to go out hang out at
O'donaghue's next door to Time Square Studios, which is I
think where the first pictures were taken. It's a place
we had gone to for eight years and hung out
and had a beer and talked about work. So it
(16:48):
was not unusual for us to be out and about.
We didn't think it would raise eyebrows.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
And true, and it's on that we have been. Look,
a lot of people know. I used to call his
brother's sister, almost peasing the pot and all this stuff
to the point where when people would accuse us I
shouldn't say accused, when they would make any kind of
joke about what's going on with you two, and we
would almost go ill. It's like my sister, that is
(17:16):
actually true. But even not now I catch you every
once in a while you'll say honey or something like that.
This is so weird because we were friends for so long,
I mean truly genuinely friends for a long long time,
and then look, I've gone through some troubles personal trouble
over the past several years that you helped me out
(17:37):
of that. You helped pull me out of whether it
was the running, whether it was meditation, whether it was
books to read. So we actually, of course we got
closer during that time because I was I was in
bad shape in a lot of ways. That's for another episode,
but you helped me out of that. So we did
over the past couple of years, started getting closer and
spending more time, and you've been my best friend through
(17:58):
all that.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
But still didn't see this coming.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
We would lean on each other when we were having
tough times. When we started anchoring our show together, we
got even closer, and we were traveling together. We were going
everywhere together, and we shared where we were in our
lives together, and it just this bond that was just
truly and completely friendship. I mean we have been. There
(18:24):
have been rumors about us since the moment we met.
People kept saying, oh, those two, what are they really
up to? And it was all false. We genuinely like
we're just good for its right.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
To the point it freaked me out because I was
still fairly new at ABC. But there was some rumor
going around and it reached such a level. I freaked
out and went to management myself and said, hey, I
don't know if you heard, but it ain't happening. I
guess this time we should have gone and say, hey,
maybe you haven't heard, but we want you to know
(18:57):
what's happening. They're going to steal to that point. Well,
I'm had told my mama, why are you thinking about
an ABC executive?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
About it? Again?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Maybe a mistake in hindsight, but we had.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
A plan though, because once, once we became a couple
and we were in a relationship, and I want to
point out that happened after we left our marriages. We
had a plan to get our divorces finalized, to get
them agreed upon and signed and filed, and we thought
(19:29):
the timeline was going to be around end of the year,
and so we thought, in January, we're going to go
and walk in and explain to management that we are
a couple and how should we figure this out. We
had actually even talked about doing it earlier. Remember, right
before the pictures came out, we thought should we should
we tell them what's going on, and we thought, let's
just get these divorces cleaned up, and then let's do it.
(19:53):
But we had every intention of doing it, and we
we didn't believe and I don't think we still do
believe we were doing anything technically wrong.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Technically, I mean, it's just look what we failed at
being good crisis managers. We failed at being or understanding
some level of celebrity that neither one of us thought
we had. And I'm not saying we do, but in
that world affiliated with the show we were affiliated. That's
just a sexy fricking story. And I just don't think
(20:27):
we thought about it in that way that anybody would
give a damn what we were doing. And look, we
were I think threatened is the right way to put this.
Days before the first pictures were taken of us, well,
second week of November, we were directly threatened. I don't
want to get into where it came from, but someone
(20:49):
was something was being demanded of us, and it was
if you don't do this, then we are going to
make it bad for you. It was directly said to us.
At that time, we didn't see any urgency to it
and weren't thinking along these lines. But two days after that,
sure enough, there was somebody unbeknownst to me, parked outside
(21:12):
my home, following me to work starting at four am,
and following us out of town for hours, following us
all around. And I don't know how you prepare for
something like that, but it it was an awful that
November thirtieth, and then going into that weekend, and I
(21:32):
didn't remember that. Look, a lot of people will look
and say, look, you're rich, you're famous in your I
don't feel sorry for you guys, and not asking for that.
I think you were right to say suspend judgment. But
a lot of people can relate to just a just
a human state of having the experience we were having.
(21:52):
And your parents came to town.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
What on the So I was in d C on
the thirtieth win it. My parents were at mid air
coming to New York from Atlanta to come up to
my dad's work. They were having a Christmas party, and
I remember thinking, oh my god, I have my parents
coming to town and they were in the air when
(22:16):
this dropped. So I'm trying to text them while they're
on the plane to say, please don't believe everything you're reading.
Please let me talk to you when you land. We
need to talk. And I was actually so afraid of
my parents and what they were going to think and
what they were going to experience. I knew we were
going to be splashed all over the New York papers,
(22:39):
walking by newsstands. It was just going to be one
of those moments where I didn't want my parents in
the city with all of this happening. And yet it
turned out to be one of the most amazing things
to have happened because they were there, They were supporting me,
They asked me what they could do. They were my
lifeline that moment, because my whole world fell apart. It's
(23:02):
so hard to think about just going through a divorce publicly,
but now to have all of these accusations and all
of these pictures and trying to explain what was actually
happening versus what people said was happening. It was awful
and they were amazing, and they got me through those
first few days. But TJ and I were apart. I mean,
you were at your apartment. I was at my apartment
(23:23):
because I was moving to your point. My ex had
moved out months before, but I already had a move
scheduled for that week to move to my new apartment
with my sixteen year old daughter. And so boxes are everywhere.
I mean, it couldn't have been more chaotic and more crazy.
And so I was doing my thing, TJ. You were
at your house.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
And for me it was different because I was hold
up alone. Yeah, I was in an apartment by myself.
That look so you know this because right so being
helped me set the apartment up right.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
I helped a little Ti.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You have to lie. No, no, no, no, you did kidding
up kidding, You're kidding.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
No.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I wouldn't have known what colored dishtiles did buy. I
had not been for you, Vevy. But I am in
my apartment in Saben when everything hits. I didn't want
her around me because I was being we were being pursued,
being set chased. So that was essentially you didn't have it.
You could go home, but you literally were moving, so
(24:22):
you couldn't just close the door and hide. You had
to manage a move. I went home and was alone
all of that time. November thirty, again, that was the
day this all came out, But that was a Wednesday,
and we went to work on that Thursday and Friday,
December first and second, But my only interaction with human
beings was going to the studio. We kept the doors closed,
(24:46):
came out, did the show, and bounced and then I
was home alone.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
And it was interesting because when we got the call,
we were obviously managing work and what they were trying
to figure out what to do, how to handle us.
We had conversations and at that time everyone agreed we
hadn't violated company policy, and so it was agreed upon
by everyone that we should just come back to work.
(25:12):
In fact, I believe I was asked, are you comfortable
coming back to work, and I said, that's what I
want to do. I want to come back to work.
I want normalcy. I want to be able to hold
my head up high and say, yes, I'm in this relationship.
But we're doing everything the way we were supposed to
be doing it. So it was agreed upon. So coming
back into work, it was a little nerve wracking, but
(25:33):
it actually felt good. I felt like we had support
from our coworkers. For the most part. People were coming
in and giving us hugs and telling us it was
going to be okay and this too shall pass, and
they were happy for us, and we were feeling okay
about it all. And then as the news cycle goes
everyone wants in on it, and so people start digging
(25:54):
and they start reporting other things, and things start spiraling
out of control. And we had to get a price
management team to try and help us field all these
phone calls. We were talking to reporters, We were trying
to give them information so that they weren't printing misinformation,
but that didn't work out perfectly well, and we got
to a point on Thursday where you were in a
(26:15):
pretty dark spot, pretty dark space.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Look, look, I don't know what was going Look you
you let me read it this morning. You still have it,
But that was Thursday, So it was the next day
and I didn't even realize how I was talking to you.
But you were receiving messages that were from me in
the past, tense, and I didn't realize I was sending
(26:40):
them and I was sending them to you. I didn't
know how it was sounding. I'm not sure where my
head was at that time. But that was Thursday. I
didn't realize. You reminded me that this morning, that it
was the very next day. Well then you had to
do a welfare check. I guess it's the best way
to play.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It was three four. That's very very understated way of
putting it. At three forty five pm that afternoon, you
sent me a text basically saying I'm sorry. You were
the love of my life. I'm so sorry this has happened.
And you just kept saying you were sorry, but you
(27:19):
were using past tense in the entire text. And I
texted back and I said, you're scaring me. Please tell
me you're okay. No response. I'm calling you ill. He
doesn't answer. I FaceTime him, he doesn't answer his face time,
and now I'm getting calls from work producers trying to
get in touch with him. He's not answering anybody. I
(27:42):
start to panic, and my parents were there with me,
and I didn't want to betray him by reading a
text that he sent to me to my parents, but
I was so afraid that he had done something, and
I read it out loud to my mom and dad,
and I started to cry, and my mom looked at
me and she was like, you have to go down
there right now. You need to go check. And my
(28:03):
dad said I'm coming with you, and so my dad
and I. It was two hours later after he sent
this text. We jumped into an uber and I was
pretty hysterical, and my dad was holding my hand and
we got to his building and I knew the doorman
and I said, I need to get up. He's like,
I'm coming with you. I had a key, but he
said I'm coming with you because this was Robert and
(28:26):
he loves you. And he came up with us, the
three of us, and I was shaking, and I remember
going down the hall opening the door and my dad
came in with me and I saw you and you
were just splayed out on your bed and I ran
to you. I said, TJ, and you didn't move, and
I remember this was the most awful thing, having to
(28:47):
touch your body to see if you were warm. I
was so afraid. You were just incoherent. You don't really
even remember me coming, do you A kind of? I said, baby,
tell me you're okay, tell me you're okay, And you
were kind of just making no sense. But I knew
you were alive, and I knew you were going to
(29:08):
be okay. And I stayed with you for a little bit,
and my dad stayed with me, and he told me
he was like, I was so afraid of what you
were going to find.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yeah, that was the night.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
But the day was essentially me getting off work at
eleven AM, and I immediately started pounding vodka and I
didn't stop for the several hours, and then I took
who knows how many weed edibles, and that's how I
ended up in the state I was in.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Yeah, and I that combination was terrifying. You weren't moving,
and my god, I will never forget that night.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Now, this is something we need to and we'll talk
about this down the road. Like after the night we
just had and everything that happened, we show up at
work and try to put on some brave face going
through the absolute worst hell either one of us had
ever experienced.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
We're not asking for anything but just open minds and
open hearts. And I think it's another reminder we did
this for a living. We interviewed people who were at
their worst moments or had had the most unimaginable things
happen to them, and you can try to commiserate, and
you can try to imagine what it would be like,
especially if you're then in the spotlight and you've got
cameras in your face and you've got journalists yelling things
(30:23):
at you. You can imagine what it feels like. Until
the tables are turned and we experienced it, and I'm
hoping that that's just gonna make us more compassionate and
empathetic for anyone who's been in whatever situation you find yourself,
and whether you're the cause of it or it happens
to you, whatever it is, we're all human beings here,
and I think it was just a brutal reminder of that.
I have described this, and I am not being dramatic.
(30:44):
I think a lot of people might know. I know
I do tend to be but I think a lot
of people know that I'm a breast cancer survivor and
I just celebrated ten years. So I used to always
say that twenty thirteen was the worst year of my life,
the hardest year of my life. I look back now,
and it's interesting. When you go through cancer, Yes you're
afraid that you're going to die, but you're fighting to live,
(31:06):
and you've got all these people around you supporting you
and cheering you on and saying you've got this, and
you feel this collective hug from people who are lifting
you up when you're scared and you're going through all
of these treatments. But this year, I wanted to die.
There were days where I wanted to die, and that
was something I had never experienced before in my life.
(31:27):
I just didn't want to get up. I didn't want
to see what new headline was going to be out there,
and that has been such an eye opening experience. And
then to feel like, you know, who is still behind me,
who supports me? Will I work again? Will I be
ever trusted again? Will people believe what really happened versus
(31:49):
what people have written happened? And those were all things
that we had to go through and deal with. I
will say that I just felt extremely lucky.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
That we had each other, and folks are wondering why.
I guess we could have tried to clear this up,
if you will, at some point earlier, but some folks
told us early on, well, if you don't get ahead
of it, you're done. And so that train left the station.
There's nothing we could do to get people to stop
(32:18):
saying what they were saying, and we saw things that
were one hundred percent wrong. They were fabrications, they were lies,
they were mistakes sometimes, but we did not for the
past year. And a lot of this had to do
with us trying to get our own homes in order. Look,
a lot of damage was done. It's not even about marriage.
The marriages, right, that's tough enough to go through divorce,
(32:41):
But we were trying to get our kids so and
get our kids to understand why we didn't tell everybody
what was going on with us ahead of time. That
work continues, but that is in a much.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Better place than it was. But that took a lot
of work.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
And the i'm sorries and the apologies, the first ones
went to Sabine and went to your daughter's for just
not telling them ahead of that.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I'm still saying I'm sorry because it's it's a very
It's one thing for us to deal with the press
and to deal with the headlines and the honestly, the
paparazzi that have been you know, they've they've become as
much a part of our lives as anything. They're there
(33:25):
all the time, and so when I'm with my children,
when I'm with my daughters, they're there and their pictures
are being taken, and imagine, I just try to put
myself in their shoes. It's it's their family, and they're
so young, they don't have the tools or the life
experience to even really be able to put it into perspective.
And it's just been a really hard, hard journey that
(33:46):
will continue that. You know. I'm still can We're all
in therapy, all sorry, and you.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Know, but I'm better equipped. We've talked about this as
well in what several years back twenty Can I go
back to seventeen eighteen, nineteen twenty those years I was
a mess, That was an absolute mess. But going through
what I went through at the time and putting good
practices in place made me better equipped to deal with this.
(34:14):
If that was if I was in the shape I
was in back then when this happened, God knows what
would have come out of this, But I think I
think it's very difficult to sit here now and imagine
being in a better place. It's hard to imagine because
(34:35):
we did.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Now.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
This is fair to say those are dream jobs. That's not,
and it's not just a matter of I mean, it
was the dream job, and that we were doing some
hard news, some of the lighter stuff inspirational, aspirational as
you say, and you're sitting on the set with your
best freaking friend and your show is airing every day
on a network in the afternoon. Everything is that this
(34:58):
was the dream job. We lost those dream jobs, And
how in the hell can I sit here in a
year later say I'm in a better place than I was.
That seems impossible, but it's the truth.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
It's true if you think about it. That was one
of the concerns. I mean, it was on the list.
Been doing this for almost three decades now, and we
haven't just been dabbling in it. We have been working
around the clock, crazy weeks, such an investment of time.
But because we loved our jobs, we had genuine passion
for it, and we're so grateful for where we got
(35:34):
in our careers and what we had been able to accomplish,
and we're excited about what was next. I was really
nervous about how we were going to handle the two
of us not working.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
And it turns out it's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
We actually found a way to think, whoa WHOA. I
can do things, I can go places, I can spend
time with people who and on things. And we've watched, well,
we've watched a lot of television. I will say that what.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
Happened we watched any news watch news anymore.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
That's true. It's been a reset, a total reset, And
I think I always was a little concerned that my
job defined me in a lot of ways. Well, when
it was gone, you have to figure it out, and
we have a new definition.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Though you may tell you what it is.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah, what is it?
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Well, if you read the.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Papers, Oh oh yeah, no, I don't like that. But
I think the opportunity to actually work on yourself as
a as a human has been amazing. And we've been
able to work on our relationship. We have been in
the trenches together, actually, and we're stronger and better than
(36:46):
we've than I could have ever imagined.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Oh, people can't see us right now, so sweet, you
have your hand on my legs.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
They see the way you're looking at me right now,
they would just smelt Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Don't don't be creepy. This podcast yea star project here.
This podcast is dropping this first episode. It's launching on
December fifth, twenty twenty three. Sorry on this day. So
on December fifth, twenty twenty two, it was a Monday morning.
(37:21):
What had happened that whole weekend? We worked our asses
off all that previous weekend, talking to so many reporters,
talking to so many folks on background who were we
want to do an interview. We weren't going to do that,
but they wanted to understand or try to get more
details about what was happening, and some outlets were deciding
(37:42):
what they were going to do moving forward. It was
non stop that weekend. Once we explained to certain larger
mainstream I guess you could say traditional media outlets our story,
but there were several mainstream outlets, major outlets, more tradition outlets,
not tabloids and whatnot who were calling and we're asking questions.
(38:05):
And once we explained to them, like we just explained
here on this podcast what was going on where we
were in our divorces, and they dropped it. They did not.
They decided we are not doing the story because it's
not a story. Two people who are out of their
marriages are dating now, Okay, we're moving on, and they
(38:25):
did not write a story. So we go through Saturday
and Sunday, all of this crisis, managers on the phone,
pr people NonStop, still not seeing each other. We couldn't
reconnect yet, so I'm still hold up in that apartment,
no myself doing all this. So we got some Monday
and thought, wow, we have put this thing to some dead,
(38:51):
to some rest, and we're going to be able to
go back into work and move forward.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
That's all we wanted to do. We just wanted to
be able to do what we love. Hopefully the story
had run through enough cycles, that's what we were being told,
and it was wrapping up. They dug up everything they
thought they could try to throw at us, and it
was going to die out and peter out. And then
it was around six am on Monday morning. We were
both getting ready to go into work. I was excited
(39:15):
to go into work to put this behind us, and
we each got a phone call from our bosses saying
that they had made the decision. And they made it
again a point to say we hadn't violated any company policy,
but because we had become a distraction that they thought
it would be best if they temporarily took us off
(39:35):
the air to let things die down, quiet down. And
I remember I said, oh, please, no, please, if you
do this, I mean I was begging, if you do this,
this is going to create a whole new round of
articles and now the media, more of the trusted media,
I would say that passed on doing the story. Now
(39:58):
this is going to be a story if you take
us off the air, Please don't do this. And I
did ask. I said, if you're going to make an
announcement to the rest of our colleagues, can you please
at least acknowledge that we have not violated company policy.
And that was the compromise that I reached. But I
was sick to my stomach because we knew what was
(40:21):
coming once that announcement was made.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Well, it's one thing to say, I mean, for anybody,
it's one thing to say that those two are dating,
now right. That's look, if this had gone the other way,
meaning if we had put out statements about divorces and
then people found out we were dating, they would raise
some eyebrows and go, wooh, okay, that's still an interesting
(40:44):
topic if you will, that somebody might talk about. But
doing it this way, it's a much more. The story
became mainstream when they're able to say two morning show
stars suspended. That's now a major story. And given the
(41:09):
brand we were attached to, that's a big, big deal.
And we knew that was going to be a big
deal as soon as they said we weren't coming, And
that was the day. That was the morning we knew
we would not be going back to that network. We
knew that phone call sealed it because it's you can't
come back from that. And so that was a very
(41:30):
very difficult morning, difficult day, and it did. It started
a whole new round of stuff that we were trying
to get to quiet down. And so to a certain degree,
this is a when we talked about names for this
for this podcast, like one of them we were going
to do go with was scandal less because this was
(41:50):
a scandal that wasn't and this was not what you've
been sold on to a lot of people. Look, we
take full responsibility. We've explained some of the decisions we
made that led to us sitting here right now. Maybe
we should have put out a statement earlier, maybe we
should all these things. This is absolutely this is on us,
but we are We're sorry. We're only now being able
(42:15):
to talk to some of you and tell you and
you said it earlier and you correct it when people
say our side of the story, it's not our side.
There's just the story, and it's been wrong from day one.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
It has been and it is cathartic and incredible to
be able to start to tell it and to live it.
We have not, gosh, we have not felt comfortable holding
our heads up high walking down the street. At least
we didn't initially, but we've started to now, and this
we're only hoping will create a new way forward where
(42:48):
we can at least say, here's what actually happened, and
here's what we wish we would have done better and differently.
I wish that we would have been more transparent. I
wish that I would have included my daughters more into
what was happening in my life. Those were all things
I certainly regret and I've learned from and I do
(43:09):
think that it's all about communication. We were in the
communication business, and still what happened happened. But I'm so
hopeful that there is a new path forward. And we
have so many people because as awful as it was,
we had so many people lifting us up and guiding us.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
You did, no, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Who are your people?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You should have passed some of your people to me.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
You didn't hear I was in an apartment by myself,
trying to measure out edibles. Didn't go well, No, I
know what you're saying, and people say you find out
who your who your friends are in these times. I
don't know, it's been something about it that didn't I
(43:58):
didn't feel worse about people like there were people who
you know this, some we hadn't talked to in weeks,
in months, in six months and a year and years
that were calling and texting me every single day when
this went down every day, Then there were people that
I talked to and saw every single day that I
(44:20):
ain't heard from since exactly.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
You know who your friends are, and you definitely find
out who your friends aren't in these types of moments, But.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
No, who were your people? Who are you saying so
that lifted you up?
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Are we are we naming names?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
This is positive?
Speaker 1 (44:36):
This is all positive, I would say. One of the
people who just started and wouldn't stop texting me even
when I didn't respond, Sarah Haynes. She was an absolute pleasure.
She said, I'm gonna keep texting you. I'm going to
keep checking in on you.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
To fire her.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
I know that's what I was afraid of. Mike. I
think it's positive, but maybe it won't be positive for her.
You also worry about, like, I don't know, being connected
to us, may somehow I'll bring you down. So I
don't want to necessarily do that, but she was incredible.
She and I have been friends for fifteen years. We
go all the way back to NBC, and she just
and honestly, someone who still works at that network, to
(45:12):
keep checking in, to keep calling, to actually be seen
in public with me. That is a statement. That is
something that does show incredible support.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Who else.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Putting me on the spot here? Well, my family. My
mom is one of nine, my dad is one of six.
I have a lot of aunts and uncles and some
of them are closer in age to me than they
are to even my parents. Because of the big families,
and my family showed up. My aunts, my uncles, my cousins.
They were texting me saying we love you. And I
(45:43):
remember my aunt Ann. She's only six years older than me,
so she's like my big sister Annie. I call her.
I named my I actually my little girl, I call
Annie because of her. But she sent me a text
and this really got me. She said, we know who
you are and we love you. And because you start
feeling like everyone else is saying you're something that you're
(46:05):
not and you can't deny it. You can't say, nahh,
I'm not like that, and she just sent me that text,
and I remember that meant the world to me. And
I don't even want to leave out all my other
aunts and uncles, but I still am getting texts like
we love you. They will tell me about people, especially
who had my last name. You know, someone came into
work and said, tell your niece that we love her
(46:26):
and we love TJ. And we're with them and we
support them. And they would just pass along those texts
or those moments of support from other people, just to
let me know there are more people out there who
are supporting you than who are saying bad things about you.
And I think we needed to hear that. I know
I needed to hear that because you really try not
to read the comments, and you were really good at
not looking at the coverage. I was not. I was not.
(46:49):
I looked and I saw a lot of things I
wished I hadn't, but I knew my daughters were saying it,
and I kind of wanted to know. And when the
paparazzi on the street is sticking his tongue out at
me and I just kind of want to know he's
what he's writing. It's a strange thing to be walking
down the street and knowing every facial expression you have
is being interpreted, and so just to not be able
to speak or to know what's being written for you
(47:12):
instead of being said by you. It's everything to know
that the people who know you, the people who love you, say,
we're not ever going to turn our backs on you.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
I still don't look at that stuff. I know you,
and we've gotten invites about it before because you share
tried to share something with me. I'm like, I do
not want to hear anything. Because I got that advice
early on from somebody who has been through more tabloid
stuff than most people can ever imagine over a career
in Hollywood. And she's very early on said don't you
(47:45):
listen to or read anything, and followed up by saying,
do you hear me? Do not read or listen, And
she has been through pales in comparison, you could probably
argue what she's gone through her whole career.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
But that was great advice.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
But Chuck, Matt Montel, Candy Hallie Byron Isaiah, those are
the that's the group of folks. And maybe I can
get into more of who they are later, but those
are the folks who who carried me through at the
darkest days, which was in December of twenty twenty two.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
I need to point out Nikki and Daneska. Those two
were just my rocks in terms of even moving and
helping me not have to deal with all of the
logistical burdens in the middle of all of this huge
storm and have been with me every step of the way.
So I just my glam squad at the studio just
(48:38):
still chuck in on me every day and have been
so supportive and so kind. And these were women who
I was with every morning for almost a decade and
they're still with me in spirit and they have meant
the world to me, all of them.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
They two tens
Welcome everyone. I'm Amy Robots and I'm TJ.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Holmes.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
And we ain't said that in a year. It's been
a hell of a year.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Two.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
We have not introduced ourselves in any broadcast form in
a year.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
We haven't spoken to many people in a year.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Yeah, just each other.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
And here we are again, tight circle.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I should have done this podcast with somebody else, just
to branch out a little bit. You're the only person
I've talked to intimately in a year.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So seriously, you say the nicest things to me. No,
we're I don't. I can't speak for you, but I
am nervous. And we've been doing this for a long time,
almost three decades, and I can't remember the last time
I was nervous in front of a microphone, but I
am today.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Why you're ned because we haven't spoken.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We haven't said anything, and other people have had our story.
They've told our narrative. And I shouldn't say our they've
told a narrative. It isn't our narrative. And this is
the first time that we actually get to say what
happened and where we are today.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Well, you mean what happened? You have something on your mind?
Switness no, to your point, how many years you've been in.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
This business, twenty seven.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
And I've got what twenty four, twenty three, twenty four
and in the past, so you for twenty seven years,
me for twenty three have not gone probably more than
two weeks without being in broadcast, without in some way,
form or fashion, being on television broadcasting in some way.
And we haven't done it for a year, and today
(01:40):
is the first time in a year.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
And today is actually a special day. You want to
call it that, well, it's it's almost apropos that we
would have this podcast air on December fifth, because December fifth,
last year, exactly one year ago, today was the day
we were told not to come into work.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah, we never got a follow up call to say come.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Back, that's true. In fact, yeah, it was the opposite.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
And this wasn't planned. This is very it's strange, but
I mean, what a hell of a coincidence. Though it
was December fifth, we got a call that sealed our
fate and it's pretty much assured that we wouldn't be
going back on the air at ABC. We can get
into that a little more and just a little bit,
but I.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Mean, we're here.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Look there's a lot been said about us, and for
those that might be some who are we're familiar with
us a little bit, maybe a lot, maybe not at all.
But I guess the best way to sum us off
Amy and TJ is that we are the We're the
folks who lost the jobs we love because we love
each other and that is bottom line, and that is
why we are here now. And this is why, I mean,
(02:48):
it's been a hell of Look, you never know, there
are a lot of people listening wherever you are right now,
where there. Maybe you're running on the West Side Highway
right now, maybe you're at home taking care of whatever,
maybe on a drive, whatever you might be doing. But
for us, this journey has a lot of you understand
that life, love, marriage, relationships can be messy and usually are.
(03:12):
So I think, how did you put it? You wanted
to thank people who suspended judgment, I think is what
you said.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Well, I think we want to thank everybody who's listening
right now, any one of you out there who decided
to say hey, let me hear what they have to say.
We just want to say thank you because we haven't
had that opportunity yet. So yes, we're hoping and hopeful
that many of you have suspended judgment, that you haven't
believed everything you've read or seen or heard. We've even
(03:39):
been shocked and surprised at what's been said and what's
been written. But we want to thank you for sticking
around and giving us a chance to tell our side
of the story. And we have had the incredible pleasure
of running into people sometimes daily who have said the
kindest things to us over this past and it might
(04:01):
have just been a moment or or a passing thought,
but it meant the world to us in those moments
where we had people come up to us and say
we support you, we love you. When are you coming
back on the air, And it was a boost, And
we had some specific, really fun ones.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
One of them was just a few minutes ago.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
We happen to be talking to you right now from
a actually a hotel. We are sitting on a couch
here with several people in the room staring at us,
hearing the story. But on our way this moment to
this room to sit down for this podcast, the doors
open to the elevator. We step in and a woman says,
(04:42):
I know who you are. This just happened and she
starts going in I am such a fan of you, guys,
I am rooting for you. Congratulations. You look low and
as nervous as we are and have been all day
and getting this together. That woman just put us at ease.
It is just it was the last thing that happened
to us before we walked in here to do this.
But the couple at Bill's barn Burgery in downtown New
(05:05):
York that came up to us at the bar and said, guys,
you should hear our story. The flight attendant who was
so sweet to us say, guys, I fell in love
at work as well. The truck driver downtown brother rolled
his winded down, big tough guy. Hey, I'm a fan
of love. Congratulations. Those things have been incredible. And the
(05:28):
woman at Barnes and Noble.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
A Noble, she actually got tearful and she just told
us she missed us and she loved us, and to
keep on loving each other. There was a woman on
the escalator who just said, I am so happy that
y'all are still together and that y'all love each other.
I think in the end, all of us are always
rooting for love, and it doesn't always happen when you
want it to happen where you wanted to happen, and
(05:52):
it's undeniable, when it's real, and it's something you have
to navigate, and it's not easy. And anyone who's lived
enough life, I think, if they're really honest with themselves,
can attest to the fact that relationships are hard, they're messy,
they're not perfect. But we have fought for love and
(06:12):
I can say that I've never been happier I am
with my best friend. I'm not going to get cheesy,
I promise, although that was kind of cheesy, so I apologize. Sorry, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
More cheese.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yes, let's delveda this. I we have gone through I
think it's fair to say a year of hell, but
we have had each other through it all and had
a lot of support from our family, from a tight
circle of friends, and we have hopefully gotten through the
(06:46):
really tough stuff. And we have more work to do,
as all relationships will require. But it has been the
most beautiful relationship I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
So we say it's been a hell of a year.
And look, it's it's odd to say it when people ask.
It was even my mom was on the phone, I
had her own speaker. This was several months ago, and
she asked me how I was doing, and I said,
I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And she said, really, have you seen this magazine or
this stuff really possible?
Speaker 3 (07:20):
You're doing good? But we are. And look, there's there's
not a We're going to get into some stuff here
what happened over the past year, But the bottom line
is a lot of people are curious, and I know
some stuff is still being written, and I know we
still get Cheese Boy a photographer, so I know stuff
is out there. But bottom line, we have not said this.
(07:41):
I am in love with this woman and she's in
love with me, and we are planning a life together.
So anywhere you read anything that says a source close
to the couple says, or a friend of the couple says,
is a one fabrication because there is no one who
knows what has been going on between the two of
(08:02):
us and the conversations we've been having. So I'm not
accusing some publication of lying. Maybe they depending on a
source who wasn't really a source, but there is no
one who can say they know what had been happening
with us the past year except for us.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
And here we go.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes, we have spent a lot of time together you
and I have we not over these past almost well
twelve months now.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Yeah, and so.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I guess we talked about we were into.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
The why of this anniversary is so odd, but this
really goes back to I guess really, November thirtieth is
the day. November thirtieth, twenty twenty two, was the day
that we were and this is very important. We were
out it. We were outed, We were outed. We were
not caught by a publication that outed us. And so
(08:53):
to be clear, we were out at as being in
a relationship, but everyone else thought we were being outed
at as adulters, being outed as cheating on our spouses,
and it wasn't the case. Because the odd thing is
that the day those pictures were taken and the day
that article was released that outed us, we had both
(09:16):
at that point been were in divorce proceedings.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, we had attorneys, mediators, We were in the middle
of divorces. I believe the first day the first picture
was taken, unbeknownst to us, was November tenth, and my
ex had already moved out of the house three months earlier.
And you pointed out pretty interestingly anyone who thinks we
(09:41):
were still in our marriages when those pictures were taken, Well,
the pictures actually tell the truth, don't they.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
They confirm it is, so I don't know why we
didn't put this together. The pictures that quote unquote outed
us the day I started being followed. The first day.
The first pictures that were taken were me coming out
of my apartment, my home in New York. That home
is where I reside by myself, and I have been
(10:08):
residing by myself since last summer. So the picture that
shows me that they're saying these two are cheating, the
picture actually confirms that I was out of my marriage,
because I'm coming out of a building which is not
where I shared a home with my ex wife now.
So it's funny to put it that way and to
(10:30):
say it that way, and to see it that way,
but that's actually true. But November thirtieth was a rough day.
You happen to be off work that day.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I was actually giving a speech in Washington, d C.
A breast cancer speech. It was a little bit of
a later Breast Cancer Awareness Month speech, a little bit
later in November, and I was at the podium and
I always have a phone up there just in case
for whatever reason. But it was buzzing NonStop, and everyone
who knew me knew I was giving a speech, so
(10:58):
I just thought it was strange and it wouldn't stop buzzing.
And it was. It was TJ. It was also I
think our executive producer. It was ABCPR, it was my
daughter's it was a number of people. I had no
idea that this article had been released and pictures had
been released while I'm standing in front of about five
(11:20):
hundred people. And I believe by the time I finished
the speech and was able to look at my phone,
I think it's fair to say I was probably the
last person to know what had just been released. And
you also were in a very uncomfortable position when your
phone started ringing.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Well, it rang in between segments because I was still
in studio tape in the show, and in between segments,
I got a call from a PR person asking and
saying this article was about to be released, and I
didn't have time to put a thought together. I didn't
have time to do any PR, I didn't have time
(12:02):
to handle any crisis at the time, because I literally
had to get back on set and continue taping a show.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Were you doing deals and steals or something? I believe
I think that's what you told me. So how you're
going on and doing the show, You're continuing with your
mind racing what is happening. We got no warning. I
think you got maybe there was a five minute work.
There was no opportunity for comment, There was no opportunity
to refute what they were saying. It was just going
(12:32):
to be released no matter what, and it was, and
then we had a lot of work to do that
day to try and figure out what the next best
step was. I don't know if we made the next
best step, but the first thing we did when I
flew back and we got together, we were putting together
a press release acknowledging that we were in a relationship.
(12:54):
Because it was one of those things where everyone in
my tight circle knew I was divorced. I took my
ring off early August. It was very clear to anyone
who knew me that I was in the middle of
the divorce. TJ is a much more private person than
me and just chose to keep that to himself. But
(13:15):
it was hard because anyone who was a viewer, anyone
outside of a very small circle, didn't know that either
one of us were getting divorced. So that was one
of the challenges we had in the beginning. So we
were trying to clear everything up, and we actually had
a press release ready to go.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah with the audience, and that's look, our viewers, fans.
I know there are plenty of people who followed us
for a long time, and for that, I mean, we
were trying to make the best call we could. But
we we shouldn't have allowed I can say that in hindsight,
but for folks to find out about our relationship before
they found out about our divorces. If people would have
heard earlier, okay, they're out of their relationship, now they're dating,
(13:51):
maybe an eyebrow would have been raised or something, but
it wouldn't have become what it became. And look at
that point, my daughter, I mean, she's ten. I was
still trying to get her adjusted to her new reality
of her parents not being together, and I've been working
on that for the past three four months. So I
(14:12):
didn't want to spring on her in that early that
Oh yeah, by the way, you know that Amy Robock,
who's actually you've known since you were one, has been
a part of the well I'm dating her now. I
didn't want to do that to her at the time,
but I hadn't even told my mom about the divorce,
So why the hell am I thinking about telling an
executive that the network about it. So that's just where
(14:32):
our heads were and hindsight, sure, and maybe we screwed up,
but in the immediate crisis of it all, and I
have it in my phone still saved a draft from
November thirtieth, the day this happened. Our statements, our draft
statements that have never been released that said, you made
a statement about what you were in your marriage. I
(14:53):
made a statement about my divorces proceeding, and those statements
were never released.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You don't know what to do. I don't think anyone
can prepare themselves to be in this type of a situation.
And like you, I also felt awful that my family
found out about us through a tabloid, which was difficult
for the exact same reasons that you mentioned. It's enough
to go through a divorce privately, for a family to
have to restructure and regroup and figure out what this
(15:23):
new normal is to then on top of all of that,
spring a new relationship on them. So we thought we
were protecting our children and our families, and we thought
we had time, and we thought we had a right
to privacy. And maybe that was foolish and silly. I
always used to say that doing what we did, we
had a beautiful amount of fame. It was just enough
(15:46):
to be fun and it wasn't too much to be
where you felt like you were being followed everywhere. So
I think I was naive to think that. I just
didn't think anybody would care that much. I didn't think
that it would be that big of a deal. I
didn't think I needed to put on Instead, my husband
and I are uncoupling, are consciously uncoupling, and we're going
to do the best we can for our families, and
(16:06):
we ask for your privacy. I know a lot of
celebrities do that. I just didn't think that it mattered
that much, that that was the level we were at.
In hindsight, yes that should have happened, that would have
made things better and easier, But we had no reason
to believe we were being followed. We were being photographed,
and there was an agenda we just had no idea
(16:27):
that that was even happening. And we were friends. We've
been friends for at that point eight years, so it
wasn't unusual for us to go out hang out at
O'donaghue's next door to Time Square Studios, which is I
think where the first pictures were taken. It's a place
we had gone to for eight years and hung out
and had a beer and talked about work. So it
(16:48):
was not unusual for us to be out and about.
We didn't think it would raise eyebrows.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
And true, and it's on that we have been. Look,
a lot of people know. I used to call his
brother's sister, almost peasing the pot and all this stuff
to the point where when people would accuse us I
shouldn't say accused, when they would make any kind of
joke about what's going on with you two, and we
would almost go ill. It's like my sister, that is
(17:16):
actually true. But even not now I catch you every
once in a while you'll say honey or something like that.
This is so weird because we were friends for so long,
I mean truly genuinely friends for a long long time,
and then look, I've gone through some troubles personal trouble
over the past several years that you helped me out
(17:37):
of that. You helped pull me out of whether it
was the running, whether it was meditation, whether it was
books to read. So we actually, of course we got
closer during that time because I was I was in
bad shape in a lot of ways. That's for another episode,
but you helped me out of that. So we did
over the past couple of years, started getting closer and
spending more time, and you've been my best friend through
(17:58):
all that.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
But still didn't see this coming.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
We would lean on each other when we were having
tough times. When we started anchoring our show together, we
got even closer, and we were traveling together. We were going
everywhere together, and we shared where we were in our
lives together, and it just this bond that was just
truly and completely friendship. I mean we have been. There
(18:24):
have been rumors about us since the moment we met.
People kept saying, oh, those two, what are they really
up to? And it was all false. We genuinely like
we're just good for its right.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
To the point it freaked me out because I was
still fairly new at ABC. But there was some rumor
going around and it reached such a level. I freaked
out and went to management myself and said, hey, I
don't know if you heard, but it ain't happening. I
guess this time we should have gone and say, hey,
maybe you haven't heard, but we want you to know
(18:57):
what's happening. They're going to steal to that point. Well,
I'm had told my mama, why are you thinking about
an ABC executive?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
About it? Again?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Maybe a mistake in hindsight, but we had.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
A plan though, because once, once we became a couple
and we were in a relationship, and I want to
point out that happened after we left our marriages. We
had a plan to get our divorces finalized, to get
them agreed upon and signed and filed, and we thought
(19:29):
the timeline was going to be around end of the year,
and so we thought, in January, we're going to go
and walk in and explain to management that we are
a couple and how should we figure this out. We
had actually even talked about doing it earlier. Remember, right
before the pictures came out, we thought should we should
we tell them what's going on, and we thought, let's
just get these divorces cleaned up, and then let's do it.
(19:53):
But we had every intention of doing it, and we
we didn't believe and I don't think we still do
believe we were doing anything technically wrong.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Technically, I mean, it's just look what we failed at
being good crisis managers. We failed at being or understanding
some level of celebrity that neither one of us thought
we had. And I'm not saying we do, but in
that world affiliated with the show we were affiliated. That's
just a sexy fricking story. And I just don't think
(20:27):
we thought about it in that way that anybody would
give a damn what we were doing. And look, we
were I think threatened is the right way to put this.
Days before the first pictures were taken of us, well,
second week of November, we were directly threatened. I don't
want to get into where it came from, but someone
(20:49):
was something was being demanded of us, and it was
if you don't do this, then we are going to
make it bad for you. It was directly said to us.
At that time, we didn't see any urgency to it
and weren't thinking along these lines. But two days after that,
sure enough, there was somebody unbeknownst to me, parked outside
(21:12):
my home, following me to work starting at four am,
and following us out of town for hours, following us
all around. And I don't know how you prepare for
something like that, but it it was an awful that
November thirtieth, and then going into that weekend, and I
(21:32):
didn't remember that. Look, a lot of people will look
and say, look, you're rich, you're famous in your I
don't feel sorry for you guys, and not asking for that.
I think you were right to say suspend judgment. But
a lot of people can relate to just a just
a human state of having the experience we were having.
(21:52):
And your parents came to town.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
What on the So I was in d C on
the thirtieth win it. My parents were at mid air
coming to New York from Atlanta to come up to
my dad's work. They were having a Christmas party, and
I remember thinking, oh my god, I have my parents
coming to town and they were in the air when
(22:16):
this dropped. So I'm trying to text them while they're
on the plane to say, please don't believe everything you're reading.
Please let me talk to you when you land. We
need to talk. And I was actually so afraid of
my parents and what they were going to think and
what they were going to experience. I knew we were
going to be splashed all over the New York papers,
(22:39):
walking by newsstands. It was just going to be one
of those moments where I didn't want my parents in
the city with all of this happening. And yet it
turned out to be one of the most amazing things
to have happened because they were there, They were supporting me,
They asked me what they could do. They were my
lifeline that moment, because my whole world fell apart. It's
(23:02):
so hard to think about just going through a divorce publicly,
but now to have all of these accusations and all
of these pictures and trying to explain what was actually
happening versus what people said was happening. It was awful
and they were amazing, and they got me through those
first few days. But TJ and I were apart. I mean,
you were at your apartment. I was at my apartment
(23:23):
because I was moving to your point. My ex had
moved out months before, but I already had a move
scheduled for that week to move to my new apartment
with my sixteen year old daughter. And so boxes are everywhere.
I mean, it couldn't have been more chaotic and more crazy.
And so I was doing my thing, TJ. You were
at your house.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
And for me it was different because I was hold
up alone. Yeah, I was in an apartment by myself.
That look so you know this because right so being
helped me set the apartment up right.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
I helped a little Ti.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You have to lie. No, no, no, no, you did kidding
up kidding, You're kidding.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
No.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I wouldn't have known what colored dishtiles did buy. I
had not been for you, Vevy. But I am in
my apartment in Saben when everything hits. I didn't want
her around me because I was being we were being pursued,
being set chased. So that was essentially you didn't have it.
You could go home, but you literally were moving, so
(24:22):
you couldn't just close the door and hide. You had
to manage a move. I went home and was alone
all of that time. November thirty, again, that was the
day this all came out, But that was a Wednesday,
and we went to work on that Thursday and Friday,
December first and second, But my only interaction with human
beings was going to the studio. We kept the doors closed,
(24:46):
came out, did the show, and bounced and then I
was home alone.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
And it was interesting because when we got the call,
we were obviously managing work and what they were trying
to figure out what to do, how to handle us.
We had conversations and at that time everyone agreed we
hadn't violated company policy, and so it was agreed upon
by everyone that we should just come back to work.
(25:12):
In fact, I believe I was asked, are you comfortable
coming back to work, and I said, that's what I
want to do. I want to come back to work.
I want normalcy. I want to be able to hold
my head up high and say, yes, I'm in this relationship.
But we're doing everything the way we were supposed to
be doing it. So it was agreed upon. So coming
back into work, it was a little nerve wracking, but
(25:33):
it actually felt good. I felt like we had support
from our coworkers. For the most part. People were coming
in and giving us hugs and telling us it was
going to be okay and this too shall pass, and
they were happy for us, and we were feeling okay
about it all. And then as the news cycle goes
everyone wants in on it, and so people start digging
(25:54):
and they start reporting other things, and things start spiraling
out of control. And we had to get a price
management team to try and help us field all these
phone calls. We were talking to reporters, We were trying
to give them information so that they weren't printing misinformation,
but that didn't work out perfectly well, and we got
to a point on Thursday where you were in a
(26:15):
pretty dark spot, pretty dark space.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Look, look, I don't know what was going Look you
you let me read it this morning. You still have it,
But that was Thursday, So it was the next day
and I didn't even realize how I was talking to you.
But you were receiving messages that were from me in
the past, tense, and I didn't realize I was sending
(26:40):
them and I was sending them to you. I didn't
know how it was sounding. I'm not sure where my
head was at that time. But that was Thursday. I
didn't realize. You reminded me that this morning, that it
was the very next day. Well then you had to
do a welfare check. I guess it's the best way
to play.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
It was three four. That's very very understated way of
putting it. At three forty five pm that afternoon, you
sent me a text basically saying I'm sorry. You were
the love of my life. I'm so sorry this has happened.
And you just kept saying you were sorry, but you
(27:19):
were using past tense in the entire text. And I
texted back and I said, you're scaring me. Please tell
me you're okay. No response. I'm calling you ill. He
doesn't answer. I FaceTime him, he doesn't answer his face time,
and now I'm getting calls from work producers trying to
get in touch with him. He's not answering anybody. I
(27:42):
start to panic, and my parents were there with me,
and I didn't want to betray him by reading a
text that he sent to me to my parents, but
I was so afraid that he had done something, and
I read it out loud to my mom and dad,
and I started to cry, and my mom looked at
me and she was like, you have to go down
there right now. You need to go check. And my
(28:03):
dad said I'm coming with you, and so my dad
and I. It was two hours later after he sent
this text. We jumped into an uber and I was
pretty hysterical, and my dad was holding my hand and
we got to his building and I knew the doorman
and I said, I need to get up. He's like,
I'm coming with you. I had a key, but he
said I'm coming with you because this was Robert and
(28:26):
he loves you. And he came up with us, the
three of us, and I was shaking, and I remember
going down the hall opening the door and my dad
came in with me and I saw you and you
were just splayed out on your bed and I ran
to you. I said, TJ, and you didn't move, and
I remember this was the most awful thing, having to
(28:47):
touch your body to see if you were warm. I
was so afraid. You were just incoherent. You don't really
even remember me coming, do you A kind of? I said, baby,
tell me you're okay, tell me you're okay, And you
were kind of just making no sense. But I knew
you were alive, and I knew you were going to
(29:08):
be okay. And I stayed with you for a little bit,
and my dad stayed with me, and he told me
he was like, I was so afraid of what you
were going to find.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yeah, that was the night.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
But the day was essentially me getting off work at
eleven AM, and I immediately started pounding vodka and I
didn't stop for the several hours, and then I took
who knows how many weed edibles, and that's how I
ended up in the state I was in.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Yeah, and I that combination was terrifying. You weren't moving,
and my god, I will never forget that night.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Now, this is something we need to and we'll talk
about this down the road. Like after the night we
just had and everything that happened, we show up at
work and try to put on some brave face going
through the absolute worst hell either one of us had
ever experienced.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
We're not asking for anything but just open minds and
open hearts. And I think it's another reminder we did
this for a living. We interviewed people who were at
their worst moments or had had the most unimaginable things
happen to them, and you can try to commiserate, and
you can try to imagine what it would be like,
especially if you're then in the spotlight and you've got
cameras in your face and you've got journalists yelling things
(30:23):
at you. You can imagine what it feels like. Until
the tables are turned and we experienced it, and I'm
hoping that that's just gonna make us more compassionate and
empathetic for anyone who's been in whatever situation you find yourself,
and whether you're the cause of it or it happens
to you, whatever it is, we're all human beings here,
and I think it was just a brutal reminder of that.
I have described this, and I am not being dramatic.
(30:44):
I think a lot of people might know. I know
I do tend to be but I think a lot
of people know that I'm a breast cancer survivor and
I just celebrated ten years. So I used to always
say that twenty thirteen was the worst year of my life,
the hardest year of my life. I look back now,
and it's interesting. When you go through cancer, Yes you're
afraid that you're going to die, but you're fighting to live,
(31:06):
and you've got all these people around you supporting you
and cheering you on and saying you've got this, and
you feel this collective hug from people who are lifting
you up when you're scared and you're going through all
of these treatments. But this year, I wanted to die.
There were days where I wanted to die, and that
was something I had never experienced before in my life.
(31:27):
I just didn't want to get up. I didn't want
to see what new headline was going to be out there,
and that has been such an eye opening experience. And
then to feel like, you know, who is still behind me,
who supports me? Will I work again? Will I be
ever trusted again? Will people believe what really happened versus
(31:49):
what people have written happened? And those were all things
that we had to go through and deal with. I
will say that I just felt extremely lucky.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
That we had each other, and folks are wondering why.
I guess we could have tried to clear this up,
if you will, at some point earlier, but some folks
told us early on, well, if you don't get ahead
of it, you're done. And so that train left the station.
There's nothing we could do to get people to stop
(32:18):
saying what they were saying, and we saw things that
were one hundred percent wrong. They were fabrications, they were lies,
they were mistakes sometimes, but we did not for the
past year. And a lot of this had to do
with us trying to get our own homes in order. Look,
a lot of damage was done. It's not even about marriage.
The marriages, right, that's tough enough to go through divorce,
(32:41):
But we were trying to get our kids so and
get our kids to understand why we didn't tell everybody
what was going on with us ahead of time. That
work continues, but that is in a much.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Better place than it was. But that took a lot
of work.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
And the i'm sorries and the apologies, the first ones
went to Sabine and went to your daughter's for just
not telling them ahead of that.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I'm still saying I'm sorry because it's it's a very
It's one thing for us to deal with the press
and to deal with the headlines and the honestly, the
paparazzi that have been you know, they've they've become as
much a part of our lives as anything. They're there
(33:25):
all the time, and so when I'm with my children,
when I'm with my daughters, they're there and their pictures
are being taken, and imagine, I just try to put
myself in their shoes. It's it's their family, and they're
so young, they don't have the tools or the life
experience to even really be able to put it into perspective.
And it's just been a really hard, hard journey that
(33:46):
will continue that. You know. I'm still can We're all
in therapy, all sorry, and you.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Know, but I'm better equipped. We've talked about this as
well in what several years back twenty Can I go
back to seventeen eighteen, nineteen twenty those years I was
a mess, That was an absolute mess. But going through
what I went through at the time and putting good
practices in place made me better equipped to deal with this.
(34:14):
If that was if I was in the shape I
was in back then when this happened, God knows what
would have come out of this, But I think I
think it's very difficult to sit here now and imagine
being in a better place. It's hard to imagine because
(34:35):
we did.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Now.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
This is fair to say those are dream jobs. That's not,
and it's not just a matter of I mean, it
was the dream job, and that we were doing some
hard news, some of the lighter stuff inspirational, aspirational as
you say, and you're sitting on the set with your
best freaking friend and your show is airing every day
on a network in the afternoon. Everything is that this
(34:58):
was the dream job. We lost those dream jobs, And
how in the hell can I sit here in a
year later say I'm in a better place than I was.
That seems impossible, but it's the truth.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
It's true if you think about it. That was one
of the concerns. I mean, it was on the list.
Been doing this for almost three decades now, and we
haven't just been dabbling in it. We have been working
around the clock, crazy weeks, such an investment of time.
But because we loved our jobs, we had genuine passion
for it, and we're so grateful for where we got
(35:34):
in our careers and what we had been able to accomplish,
and we're excited about what was next. I was really
nervous about how we were going to handle the two
of us not working.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
And it turns out it's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
We actually found a way to think, whoa WHOA. I
can do things, I can go places, I can spend
time with people who and on things. And we've watched, well,
we've watched a lot of television. I will say that what.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
Happened we watched any news watch news anymore.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
That's true. It's been a reset, a total reset, And
I think I always was a little concerned that my
job defined me in a lot of ways. Well, when
it was gone, you have to figure it out, and
we have a new definition.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Though you may tell you what it is.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Yeah, what is it?
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Well, if you read the.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Papers, Oh oh yeah, no, I don't like that. But
I think the opportunity to actually work on yourself as
a as a human has been amazing. And we've been
able to work on our relationship. We have been in
the trenches together, actually, and we're stronger and better than
(36:46):
we've than I could have ever imagined.
Speaker 3 (36:48):
Oh, people can't see us right now, so sweet, you
have your hand on my legs.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
They see the way you're looking at me right now,
they would just smelt Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Don't don't be creepy. This podcast yea star project here.
This podcast is dropping this first episode. It's launching on
December fifth, twenty twenty three. Sorry on this day. So
on December fifth, twenty twenty two, it was a Monday morning.
(37:21):
What had happened that whole weekend? We worked our asses
off all that previous weekend, talking to so many reporters,
talking to so many folks on background who were we
want to do an interview. We weren't going to do that,
but they wanted to understand or try to get more
details about what was happening, and some outlets were deciding
(37:42):
what they were going to do moving forward. It was
non stop that weekend. Once we explained to certain larger
mainstream I guess you could say traditional media outlets our story,
but there were several mainstream outlets, major outlets, more tradition outlets,
not tabloids and whatnot who were calling and we're asking questions.
(38:05):
And once we explained to them, like we just explained
here on this podcast what was going on where we
were in our divorces, and they dropped it. They did not.
They decided we are not doing the story because it's
not a story. Two people who are out of their
marriages are dating now, Okay, we're moving on, and they
(38:25):
did not write a story. So we go through Saturday
and Sunday, all of this crisis, managers on the phone,
pr people NonStop, still not seeing each other. We couldn't
reconnect yet, so I'm still hold up in that apartment,
no myself doing all this. So we got some Monday
and thought, wow, we have put this thing to some dead,
(38:51):
to some rest, and we're going to be able to
go back into work and move forward.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
That's all we wanted to do. We just wanted to
be able to do what we love. Hopefully the story
had run through enough cycles, that's what we were being told,
and it was wrapping up. They dug up everything they
thought they could try to throw at us, and it
was going to die out and peter out. And then
it was around six am on Monday morning. We were
both getting ready to go into work. I was excited
(39:15):
to go into work to put this behind us, and
we each got a phone call from our bosses saying
that they had made the decision. And they made it
again a point to say we hadn't violated any company policy,
but because we had become a distraction that they thought
it would be best if they temporarily took us off
(39:35):
the air to let things die down, quiet down. And
I remember I said, oh, please, no, please, if you
do this, I mean I was begging, if you do this,
this is going to create a whole new round of
articles and now the media, more of the trusted media,
I would say that passed on doing the story. Now
(39:58):
this is going to be a story if you take
us off the air, Please don't do this. And I
did ask. I said, if you're going to make an
announcement to the rest of our colleagues, can you please
at least acknowledge that we have not violated company policy.
And that was the compromise that I reached. But I
was sick to my stomach because we knew what was
(40:21):
coming once that announcement was made.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Well, it's one thing to say, I mean, for anybody,
it's one thing to say that those two are dating,
now right. That's look, if this had gone the other way,
meaning if we had put out statements about divorces and
then people found out we were dating, they would raise
some eyebrows and go, wooh, okay, that's still an interesting
(40:44):
topic if you will, that somebody might talk about. But
doing it this way, it's a much more. The story
became mainstream when they're able to say two morning show
stars suspended. That's now a major story. And given the
(41:09):
brand we were attached to, that's a big, big deal.
And we knew that was going to be a big
deal as soon as they said we weren't coming, And
that was the day. That was the morning we knew
we would not be going back to that network. We
knew that phone call sealed it because it's you can't
come back from that. And so that was a very
(41:30):
very difficult morning, difficult day, and it did. It started
a whole new round of stuff that we were trying
to get to quiet down. And so to a certain degree,
this is a when we talked about names for this
for this podcast, like one of them we were going
to do go with was scandal less because this was
(41:50):
a scandal that wasn't and this was not what you've
been sold on to a lot of people. Look, we
take full responsibility. We've explained some of the decisions we
made that led to us sitting here right now. Maybe
we should have put out a statement earlier, maybe we
should all these things. This is absolutely this is on us,
but we are We're sorry. We're only now being able
(42:15):
to talk to some of you and tell you and
you said it earlier and you correct it when people
say our side of the story, it's not our side.
There's just the story, and it's been wrong from day one.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
It has been and it is cathartic and incredible to
be able to start to tell it and to live it.
We have not, gosh, we have not felt comfortable holding
our heads up high walking down the street. At least
we didn't initially, but we've started to now, and this
we're only hoping will create a new way forward where
(42:48):
we can at least say, here's what actually happened, and
here's what we wish we would have done better and differently.
I wish that we would have been more transparent. I
wish that I would have included my daughters more into
what was happening in my life. Those were all things
I certainly regret and I've learned from and I do
(43:09):
think that it's all about communication. We were in the
communication business, and still what happened happened. But I'm so
hopeful that there is a new path forward. And we
have so many people because as awful as it was,
we had so many people lifting us up and guiding us.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
You did, no, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
Who are your people?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You should have passed some of your people to me.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
You didn't hear I was in an apartment by myself,
trying to measure out edibles. Didn't go well, No, I
know what you're saying, and people say you find out
who your who your friends are in these times. I
don't know, it's been something about it that didn't I
(43:58):
didn't feel worse about people like there were people who
you know this, some we hadn't talked to in weeks,
in months, in six months and a year and years
that were calling and texting me every single day when
this went down every day, Then there were people that
I talked to and saw every single day that I
(44:20):
ain't heard from since exactly.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
You know who your friends are, and you definitely find
out who your friends aren't in these types of moments, But.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
No, who were your people? Who are you saying so
that lifted you up?
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Are we are we naming names?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
This is positive?
Speaker 1 (44:36):
This is all positive, I would say. One of the
people who just started and wouldn't stop texting me even
when I didn't respond, Sarah Haynes. She was an absolute pleasure.
She said, I'm gonna keep texting you. I'm going to
keep checking in on you.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
To fire her.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
I know that's what I was afraid of. Mike. I
think it's positive, but maybe it won't be positive for her.
You also worry about, like, I don't know, being connected
to us, may somehow I'll bring you down. So I
don't want to necessarily do that, but she was incredible.
She and I have been friends for fifteen years. We
go all the way back to NBC, and she just
and honestly, someone who still works at that network, to
(45:12):
keep checking in, to keep calling, to actually be seen
in public with me. That is a statement. That is
something that does show incredible support.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Who else.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Putting me on the spot here? Well, my family. My
mom is one of nine, my dad is one of six.
I have a lot of aunts and uncles and some
of them are closer in age to me than they
are to even my parents. Because of the big families,
and my family showed up. My aunts, my uncles, my cousins.
They were texting me saying we love you. And I
(45:43):
remember my aunt Ann. She's only six years older than me,
so she's like my big sister Annie. I call her.
I named my I actually my little girl, I call
Annie because of her. But she sent me a text
and this really got me. She said, we know who
you are and we love you. And because you start
feeling like everyone else is saying you're something that you're
(46:05):
not and you can't deny it. You can't say, nahh,
I'm not like that, and she just sent me that text,
and I remember that meant the world to me. And
I don't even want to leave out all my other
aunts and uncles, but I still am getting texts like
we love you. They will tell me about people, especially
who had my last name. You know, someone came into
work and said, tell your niece that we love her
(46:26):
and we love TJ. And we're with them and we
support them. And they would just pass along those texts
or those moments of support from other people, just to
let me know there are more people out there who
are supporting you than who are saying bad things about you.
And I think we needed to hear that. I know
I needed to hear that because you really try not
to read the comments, and you were really good at
not looking at the coverage. I was not. I was not.
(46:49):
I looked and I saw a lot of things I
wished I hadn't, but I knew my daughters were saying it,
and I kind of wanted to know. And when the
paparazzi on the street is sticking his tongue out at
me and I just kind of want to know he's
what he's writing. It's a strange thing to be walking
down the street and knowing every facial expression you have
is being interpreted, and so just to not be able
to speak or to know what's being written for you
(47:12):
instead of being said by you. It's everything to know
that the people who know you, the people who love you, say,
we're not ever going to turn our backs on you.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
I still don't look at that stuff. I know you,
and we've gotten invites about it before because you share
tried to share something with me. I'm like, I do
not want to hear anything. Because I got that advice
early on from somebody who has been through more tabloid
stuff than most people can ever imagine over a career
in Hollywood. And she's very early on said don't you
(47:45):
listen to or read anything, and followed up by saying,
do you hear me? Do not read or listen, And
she has been through pales in comparison, you could probably
argue what she's gone through her whole career.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
But that was great advice.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
But Chuck, Matt Montel, Candy Hallie Byron Isaiah, those are
the that's the group of folks. And maybe I can
get into more of who they are later, but those
are the folks who who carried me through at the
darkest days, which was in December of twenty twenty two.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
I need to point out Nikki and Daneska. Those two
were just my rocks in terms of even moving and
helping me not have to deal with all of the
logistical burdens in the middle of all of this huge
storm and have been with me every step of the way.
So I just my glam squad at the studio just
(48:38):
still chuck in on me every day and have been
so supportive and so kind. And these were women who
I was with every morning for almost a decade and
they're still with me in spirit and they have meant
the world to me, all of them.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
They two tens
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