January 17, 2024 • 51 mins
T.J. and Amy are on personal mission.
It's a tough topic that too many people avoid, but we have to get real and talk. This conversation can change lives.
They sit down with their close friend Morgan Mitchell, who is fighting for her life after being diagnosed at 28 with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome everyone to Amy and TJ.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We are at least I am coming in hot today,
literally actually coming in hot. Were you embarrassed to be
next to me on the way into work today?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I am never embarrassed to be next to you under
any circumstance.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
What's the temperature outside sixty something today? Yeah, so normally
you would wear.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
A jacket, but this is Coke Wether.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
It's cold weather for sure, right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Uh. Yes, So by the time I made it to
the subway, I had to strip down to my tank
top and then walked out of the subway and felt
amazing with a tank top on.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
You know, if I was listening to this and I
heard Amy Roebox say she stripped down in public to
her tank top, the visual I have is different from
what I actually saw. When I was on the train
with you. Still had you still had pants and other
things on, right right, I was sweating profusely. And this
is a problem I think a lot of women of
a certain age understand. But I've been dealing with this
(01:02):
since I was forty, when I was put into a
medically induced menopause. That was something that happened from my
breast cancer diagnosis and It's one of those things that
just lives on like it's just it feels like it's
never gone away. So for ten years, hot flashes have
really ruled my life. In this morning, or at least today,
(01:23):
that was an extra special fun commute, extra special fun.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yes, right, Eddie. I knew people were staring at me.
It was embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
But this happens every day, several times a day, and
I know when it's going to I can tell when
it's happening. It's fun for me now, it's game because
you start ripping off like blankets and whatnot in the
middle of the night, and all I do is reach
over and I just take my finger and just give
it a little slide up your back and soaking wet, so.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Wet, so wet. I'm not being dramatic. No, no, no,
I'm not being dramatic. This is a real thing. I
go through sheets every three weeks.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It is. Yeah, it's a dramatic event for me, multiple
times a day, and it's just when it happens in public,
it's so embarrassing. It's happened on planes, and today, I
think for one of the first times it happened.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
On this subway.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I say all of this to bring up because this
is part of the theme of today's podcast. We are
in the month of January, a lot of people are
focusing on their health, and I really wanted to take
the time today to remind women that.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This is a month.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
This is a reminder as we reset and we focus
on improving ourselves, to make that appointment for your mammogram.
I think a lot of people out there know that
I'm a breast cancer survivor, and I am only a
survivor and a thriver because I was pushed into a
MAMMO van for a work assignment back in two thousand
(02:49):
and thirteen, and I thought I was the picture of health,
and turns out I had stage two invasive breast cancer.
It had already spread to my lymph nodes, and curiously enough,
at the time, the recommendation was that women who had
no family history could wait until they're fifty, So I
had no intention of going at any point before I
(03:10):
was fifty. It was only because of a work assignment
that I went ahead and did it at forty to
kind of show other women, hey, it's not that bad,
it's not that horrible of a test, and it can
save your life. Well, it wound up doing just that
for me, and I have been preaching mammograms. They're not perfect,
but they're the best test we have. And so I
just want to encourage any woman out there who's dragging
(03:32):
their feet, who is at any age, honestly whenever you
feel it's necessary, because and we'll talk about this, and
I've said this so many times, this focus on family
history is ridiculous. Only fifteen percent of breast cancer patients
have family history with breast cancer. So eighty five percent
of us who are survivors or who have been diagnosed
(03:53):
have zero family history. So that shouldn't even be a
part of your equation as to whether or not you
should get a mammogram or when you should get a mammogram.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
And it's changed, I know.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Interesting, it is a part of the equation, or should
be if you do have a family est so you.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Have twice the chance of having or developing bast.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Can and you should get in there and beyond it,
no matter kind of what age you got to be diligent.
But to your point, and I've had this conversation with
you when we've done shows before and we've been in
commercial breaks or somewhere in the office that I was
blown away, like, wait a minute, I thought it was
all about family history, and you explained that it was not.
And the numbers are so low. Don't get me wrong,
(04:32):
it's still important to talk about, but it seems like
a lot of women do think, Hey, I don't have
a family history. I'm good until forty forty five.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Fifty that was me and I was definitely to fifty.
So I just it's a reminder, and in fact, if
you all have been following the news, I'm sure you have.
In the last few weeks, we've seen two women, women
who are in the public eye, who have come forward
to announce that they too have breast cancer. Nicole Eggert
you may remember her from Baywatch Charles in Charge.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
She is now.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
She was just diagnosed with stage two breast cancer and
she found it through a self exam. And then, wow,
what an impassioned speech CNN anchor Sarah Seidner gave this week,
just a powerful on air announcement and reminder about taking
initiative and taking control of your own health. She was
just diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. She's in treatment
(05:21):
right now, and she reminded all of us, and this
is staggering. Stage three now is absolutely curable. But if
you're a Black woman or a woman of color in
this country, you are forty percent more likely to die
from breast cancer.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
That is appalling.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It's appalling, and it's you start to read up on
this stuff and it really pisses you off that that
black women once again are bearing the brunt of something
in this country at a disproportionate number. So black women,
and again we talk about women. Of course it overwhelmingly
breast cancer affects women. But every man that can hear
our voice right now is impacted by breast cancer because
(05:58):
you got all of us, got a mom, well, got aunts,
got sisters, got cousins, got friends, got somebody is impacted.
But black women, you have a if you're listening to
our voices, and if anybody out there has a Black
woman in their life that you care about, you need
to be talking to them about this. Because it was
staggering to me that under the age of forty the
(06:19):
numbers for black women, you are, you your chances of dying.
If you're a black woman right now, under the age
of forty, you get diagnosed with breast cancer and you
have a friend, a white woman who's under forty diagnosed
with breast cancer. Both of you under forty diagnosed with
breast cancer. Your chances of dying almost double hers chances
of dying from it, and this is something we can
do about it. Look, there's so many socioeconomic reasons for this,
(06:42):
and you go back to just systemic racism in this
country that has led to a position to where black folks,
black women have less access to healthcare. They are in
places and neighborhoods that oftentimes that don't have the best
and our mental factors. You also have this issue where
you talk about poverty, not eating the best, which also
(07:05):
has an impact. We're disproportionately impacted by wave gain, obesity.
All of those things have an impact. But I am
blown away that the chances of a black woman getting
breast cancer are still less than a white.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Woman's, but they die more regularly.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
You yet it, you have a much greater chance of dying.
And that's just that We've got to keep beating that drum.
And I'm glad Sarah sidon Or, who somebody I worked
with when I was seeing and she's been there a
long time and is as good as they come, and
I'm glad she this has come to the forefront.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Yeah, and if you can, anybody google her and google
her speech that she gave on air. It is It
is incredible, and it is powerful, and hopefully it will
save lives. It will inspire people who haven't or don't
want to, or have had a hard time finding a
way to get a mammogram, to push and to advocate. Unfortunately,
as women, a lot of times we do have to
(07:55):
advocate for ourselves, and so that is part of the equation. Also,
note you know, I know, and I've preached early detection.
I have preached prevention because the sooner you find your
breast cancer, the better chance you have of surviving it.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Period.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
But it's important to note anyone, whatever stage you are,
as zero to three, that's an early stage breast cancer.
Thirty percent of those of us who had an early
stage breast cancer will go on to develop stage four
metastatic breast cancer. And a lot of people out there
might not know the difference in the distinction. I certainly
didn't before I was diagnosed. But this is the best
(08:31):
way to describe it. While amazing drugs and treatments and
therapies have come about in the last five to ten years.
We can extend the lives and create a better standard
of living for women living with stage four breast cancer.
But right now it remains incurable and it is ultimately terminal,
(08:55):
and people don't like to talk about it because it's
sad and it's scary. But if we don't talk about it,
we can't get the funding we need. Because there is
a cure for breast cancer. It's called cash and that
creates research which will eventually create a cure. And I
know that every scientist I've talked to believes it is imminent.
It will happen in our lifetime. But for people who
are fighting for their life, it can't come soon enough.
(09:18):
And one of those people is one of my best friends.
Her name is Morgan Mitchell. She is a force. I
met her five years ago April third, twenty nineteen, to
be specific. We were at a cancer Gallas sponsored by
five under forty. You mentioned women under forty. I was
diagnosed at forty, but I had had my cancer for
(09:38):
a couple of years according to doctors, so I absolutely
got breast cancer in my thirties. Morgan found her breast
cancer at the age of twenty eight, and that is happening.
More and more younger women are being diagnosed with metastatic
stage four breast cancer and doctors don't know why, but
it's happening at a much higher rate than it has
(09:59):
in the past. And get this, Morgan found her lump
on the day she got engaged to her now amazing husband, Bob,
who we love and adore. But what an unbelievable date.
You know, you always remember the day you got engaged.
But she found her lump, and then a few days
(10:20):
weeks later, she ended up getting the diagnosis that she
couldn't have imagined. That it wasn't just breast cancer, it
was staged four metastatic breast cancer that had already spread
to her liver. And so now she found herself planning
treatment and surgeries at the same time she was planning
a wedding.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Well guess what.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Six years later, Morgan is in studio with us to
talk about her journey and to inspire you a to
be an advocate for your own health, but be to
live better, to live differently, and to live with purpose.
So Morgan, welcome to the iHeart Studio.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Who Amy TJ. Thank you guys so much.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Okay, this isn't fair, all right, because people can't see
your face, Okay, because what she just said metastatic and
people don't want to talk about it because it's sad.
I've known you for I don't know how many years now,
and the one thing that's never come across my mind
when I'm around you is the word sad or a
feeling of sad. I know when I first that run we.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Took Williamsburg Bridge, there was a doozy that we took.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I messaged her afterwards like, who the hell is this lady?
Because you are you hear metastatic and you want to
you think like, oh my goodness, what But you are
a joy with every room you walk into. And there
ain't nothing I've ever seen sad about you.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Nothing, Thank you, TJ.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I try to live that way for sure, but you know,
the ups and downs. It's a roller coaster of emotions.
But you got to look at the glass half full,
because looking at it the other way it's just too
damn sad.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Were you always like that?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, for the most part.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
I mean retime marathon or before this, you climb mountains,
you hike, you're so energetic and athletic and and had
so many plants and still do, but they all got
disrupted and interrupted and changed because of this diagnosis. I
will say, you are a badass director of business at
(12:20):
a major media company and you are wheeling and dealing.
I have been with you when you are getting a
chemo treatment and you are closing like what a seventy
million dollars deal on the phone. I mean, I think
we have a picture of it. It was remarkable. Thank you?
Maybe yeah, I know sometimes you say I don't have
a choice but to do that, but you do. You
could curl up in fetal position and say, why me
(12:42):
do you do that?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Have you had those moments?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
How do you keep living your life and at the
same time dealing with this diagnosis that I'm sure you
never forget any moment of any day? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Crazy to wake up? Hot flashes are a great room, Like, oh,
I have cancer. How many do you get a day?
It depends on the day, to be honest, probably once
or twice. Yeah, but it's for real. The shedding is
for real. But you had asked about do I ever
you know, call up in a field position? Absolutely? Absolutely,
(13:19):
But I am surrounded by amazing people who lift me up,
like yourself, like family and friends, an amazing husband, And
I think really finding the joy in life is how
we've been able to just put one foot in front
of the other and go. I also think a lot
more rolls off my back. Pre cancer, I was stressed
out about work, stressed out about everything, you know, very
(13:43):
type A, cared way too much about what everybody thought.
And you get this diagnosis and all of a sudden
you're like, wait a minute, I'm the only one that can,
you know, make this really better and make my life
the way that I want to. And while six years later,
I can be grateful for the diagnoses, which probably to
some of you will seem insane, Thank you therapy. Are
(14:06):
you grateful? I am, yeah, for the cancer. I am
grateful for the diagnosis and the experience. But I think
that it's allowed me to meet a lot of amazing
women and really impact my life in such a positive way.
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I just
wish I didn't have it and life could be so
(14:28):
much easier, and the what ifs and the what ifs
really bring you down, And those are the hard questions
to quiet the nerves, quiet the voices inside of your
head and work with a therapist or speak to your
husband about it. You know, having lots of conversations with
Bob about like what do we want to do, what
do we want to get out of the next five years?
(14:49):
What do they look like for us? I didn't want
kids until I met Bob, and I knew that my
life once I found out about breast cancer was going
to be forever impacted. And I think that Amy has
been the hardest challenge of them all, is kind of
dealing with your whole future being kind of thrown up
in the air and kind of lit on fire.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You said, you guys talked about like what did the
next five years look like? What have What did those
five years look like?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
That's a great question. Lots of traveling, teach lots of traveling,
lots of taking the girls trips. Bob would tell me
to take more girls trips, and really focusing in on
getting out in the mountains and renewing our sense of
just exploration, so climbing a lot of mountains. Amy had
mentioned we went to New Zealand on our honeymoon, we
(15:41):
got married, We lived life to the fullest. I don't
think that our wedding would have been the fairy tale
slash celebration of life that it was if I wasn't
diagnosed and dealing with something so chronic. And I think
that was something Amy you had mentioned that stage four
(16:03):
is ultimately terminal. And I think the biggest learning for
me was when I had gotten my second opinion and
the doctor at the time that on collegist said, we
like to think about your life as an encyclopedia, lots
of chapters. Some might be short, others might be really long.
And so for me that was a good analogy to
really take home and apply because some treatments I've been
(16:27):
on for nine months, others I've been on for three years.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Talk about I'm curious because a lot of people want
to know what is treatment like for you? Yeah, when
you're metastatic, where are you in your treatments and what
are they like? How often are they just give us
a sense of what it's like as a patient.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
So from diagnoses to now, I have been on a
three week regimen of infusions. They have varied from immunotherapies
which are great, you don't lose your hair, I say, great,
They're not fun, you get hot flashes, you get a
lot of really not fun GI symptoms, let's be honest.
And it's been frustrating. So with each treatment and each
(17:11):
kind of new drug that I've tried, the side effects
are different. So it's all about symptom management. But right
now I am on a drug that's a drug conjugate,
which basically means chemo plus that immunotherapy that i'd speak
or spoke about, and it's hard, it's challenging. I'm down
for the count for about a week. A lot of
my girlfriends would say, you're down for the count is
(17:34):
like somebody's average day. So I'm thankful for that. I
have probably had an abundance of energy. I always have
been a ball of energy. I think that's amy why
you and I are like of ken if you will.
And it's just really stinks. I guess the week after
treatment because you're really kind of nauseous. Your head could
(17:57):
be in the porcelain bowl, and you just like, did
I go out and have a three day bench or
how am I feeling right now?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Right? But you're still going to work, You're not missing
days of work. And you know what I think of
when I think of Morgan. She likes to type this
to me or texas to me, LFG, let's can go.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, that is you.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And every time I hear that or see that, I
think of Morgan like that is I feel like you're
a mantra LFG. Even when you're going into treatment, even
when you know you're gonna have a bad day. Let's
do this, let's get this done. But this is you've
explained this to me, the last treatment available to you
right now. Explain that.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, so it's been six years since I was diagnosed.
In those six years, this drug it's called in her
two astra Zeneca came out with it. I want to say,
now it's been two years, it'll be two years in
the summer that they release this drug, and it was
not available six years ago. And now I'm on it
and you're constantly checking in with your doctors on how
(18:57):
does your blood work look, how are your pet skins looking?
And if this stops working, I don't have like another
option of a new drug to try that could potentially
continue to save my life. We would have to recycle
and go back to a different chapter that I may
have already tried, and for me psychologically, to go back
to something that didn't work. I brain can't compute that.
(19:20):
You know, it's hard to compartmentalize when you know that
something didn't work and there's a potential.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
To have to go back to that, but right now
it is working. Yes, yeah, all right, and you have
something very big happening tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
We're going to talk about that after the.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Break because it's something that you've fought for that isn't
necessarily something that doctors advocate for or even support in
some cases. The choice you've made something you're doing tomorrow,
and we're going to talk about that when we come back.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Welcome back to Amy and TJ.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
We have one of my favorite people with us here today,
Morgan Mitchell. She is a warrior, she's a survivor, she's
a thriver. She is living with stage four metastatic breast cancer.
And I teased something she's going to do tomorrow, but
actually I wanted to before we get to that, go
(20:23):
back a bit because you got emotional, not about yourself,
but when TJ was talking about black women and how
they suffer disproportionately to women of any other color, you
got emotional. You actually have a personal connection to this
(20:43):
and story to this, and it starts with five hundred forty,
the organization in which we met.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, you meet so many powerful women throughout a breast
cancer journey, and I think for me being in a
room with young professionals that are you know, I mean,
this amazing African American woman. She is a doctor and
she also has Stage four and I met her at
five hundred and forty and I remember her saying that
(21:09):
my own hospital didn't take me seriously. And it stuck
with me. How could somebody's own hospital, that they're a
doctor not take her seriously or say, oh, you'll be fine,
you'll be back in two weeks, here's your drug regimen.
You've got this. And the fact that it's probably because
(21:32):
she was black drives me insane and it's not fair.
And I know that I had an angel in this,
a girlfriend who was working for the breast surgeon that
I was initially diagnosed by. And if you don't have
somebody like that telling you what to do, the questions
to ask, helping you, pushing you through it, it can
be a really dark, scary journey, even in the medical world.
(21:55):
And it's I honestly get stick to my stomach because
it's it's not fair and it's not right, and so yeah,
I got super emotional about it because I couldn't imagine
not having the army behind me to get me to
where I am now. And that's why I'm strong.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
And that leads to the numbers. Right, Well, it's disproportional.
You all talk all the time about you have to
be your own advocate. I know you have been your
own advocate. You have to do the same walking in there,
and for black women oftentimes who do not have the
backing and the voice and they're being believed. But it's
wild that the number one, the number one cancer for
(22:36):
deaths in this country. The leading cause of cancer deaths
is lung cancer for white men, The leading cause of
cancer deaths for white women lung cancer. The leading death
from cancer for black men is lung cancer. The leading
cause of cancer death among black women is breast cancer.
(22:56):
The only group in there that lung cancer isn't leading
the way. So where does the for you all, and
you were just talking about this, where does the difficulty
in the advocacy come from? And being able to tell
her all the time she has whatever issue and then
she used to go starts googling. I was Jesus, please
don't go Google.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Because you're gonna have all kinds of.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
New ways when you have When you have a cancer diagnosis,
even if you've survived it and you're in technical remission,
any little hiccup is a massive wave of fear that
it's come back.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
But if you have a scratch on the back of
your hand, if you still go. But you go, and
you do all the research, and then you go ask
the question you advocate for yourself. What were the challenges
you had in getting someone to first believe you, listen
to you, and then take a course of action that
(23:50):
you wanted.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, great question again. I had mentioned that I had
an angel of a girlfriend who worked for a breast surgeon.
She was my first call. I mean, Bob and I
are laying in Yosemite. He's gonna propose you guys. Had
mentioned that, and I like, feel a walnut sized lump
in my breast and I'm like WTF. So we woke
(24:11):
up on East Coast time and I called my girlfriend
immediately and had like full on panic attack with her.
She was eighty percent or benign, and I was like, okay,
but this doesn't feel right. Doesn't feel like dense breast tissue,
which is what I had had, and having her kind
of helped me get through the stages and seeing her
(24:33):
passion because her mother also is a breast cancer survivor
and is a breast cancer survivor. That really helped me
kind of show me the ropes of you know, this
is your health. You are the one that has to
go home at the end of the day, not them,
and you have to live with yourself. And so we've
kind of always lived by that mantra of what feels
(24:53):
right for you. Yeah, and Amy te's this a little bit.
But tomorrow I'm having a masectomy of my left breast
and I've already had my right breast removed. This is
very not on protocol for metastatic breast cancer. It's controversial. Yeah,
it is. Why because typically they don't like to remove
the host and put you through that trauma of surgery. So,
(25:16):
like Amy had mentioned, you know, some old school thoughts
would be that it's terminal, so why put you through
that from a quality of life standpoint, And so we're
treating you systemically, you know, from your brain all the
way down to your toes with the medicine that you're on,
So why go through that? Because essentially those meds should
shrink everything and keep you alive. So why do you
(25:40):
want to go through it?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I mean, you know you have tumors in your liver, correct, yes,
And why then would you want to remove your breast.
I mean it's obviously a very traumatic surgery, which you
already know, So why do that?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Ames, I'm going to be thirty five in a few weeks,
like I need to have my situation situated. I got
to feel good about myself, and so a lot of
it is all mental. You know, I had a reoccurrence
or not a reoccurrence, because I have always had breast cancer,
but I had more tumors pop up in my right
(26:16):
breast during COVID, and during COVID, you know, they would
only do surgery that was required, and so we really
pushed to get the double missectomy at the time, and
doctors did not recommend that at the time for me,
given my situation, given the blood work, given my treatment regimen,
which is still every three weeks. My butt is in
that infusion chair. So I had to get back to
(26:39):
my systemic therapy and get back on the meds, so
luckily and her two has been working and it's been
working for two years. And I think you were with
me at the treatment where I was just asking a
lot of questions, really pushing. I'm like, okay, well I'm
not happy. I mean, you got a lot of pushback.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I want to just say from the doctors, I was
kind of I was impressed and amazed at your tenacity
and you coming back at a doctor. A lot of
women don't have that hutzpot, like they don't feel like
they can push back from what a doctor's telling you
because the doctor's told you no.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Yeah. And I've been fortunate enough to have such a
good relationship with my care team where they're willing to
hear you out. And I do think with metastatic a
lot of it is quality of life. And I'm going
to try not to get emotional, but it's like I
just got married, you know, Bob, and I are like
wanting to have this fruitful life, and every time I
(27:35):
hop in the shower, I feel like f in Frankenstein.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
And you're constantly reminded. So I didn't need to continue
to feel that way for the next I don't know,
five ten twenty years that I'm alive, Like, I want
to make sure that I look and feel as much
like a woman even though I'm going through crazy treatment
right now. I lost my hair within her too. That
was really hard.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
An amazing wig by the way, I mean amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Those Orthodox women in Brooklyn know what's up. Thank you.
You know, everybody has something that they go through in
their life. And I think, just advocating for what you want,
you came with me to that treatment Amy. The next
treatment three weeks later, I brought in Bob and I said, baby,
I need you. He goes, what do you need? I said,
(28:26):
I need you to have my back, and I need
you to tell them how depressed I've been because behind
closed doors, like it's been tough. You know, it's not
all rainbows and butterflies, and this is the raw, real
stuff where you're like, I just want to feel normal.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, And I think you know what people discount the fact,
like it sounds superficial and silly to say you care
about your hair or you care about how your breasts look.
That is so important because when you have breast cancer,
so much of what makes you a woman is taken
away from you. Your ability to have children oftentimes if
you have a hormone positive cancer like you do, and
(29:02):
I did your breast and even though yes you're going
to get a mistectom and you're going to get reconstructive surgery,
which is an amazing thing, you know how they feel.
I know how they feel every time you're in a shower.
It's so funny you mentioned that, because that is when
I'm so aware of what I've been through, because you
have no feeling, and it's a strange. It's like two
rocks or boulders are like just kind of put on you,
(29:25):
and it's just like you know, the novacaine you feel
in a when you have your teeth and you're going
to the dentist and that's always there on your chest.
But if you don't look the way you want to look,
and you don't feel the way you want to feel,
it's hard to be in it to win it. In
a way, like the mental part of it is such
an important part of the physical healing as well, and
I think that's discounted often.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But is there a disagreement between patient and doctor sometime
about what quality of life actually means? You mentioned that,
but they might think your quality of life it should
be not having surgery, do you think? But how do
you bridge that gap? And I assume the doctor. You
can't just tell a doctor this is what you're going
to do. Do you have to kind of shop around
(30:07):
and keep getting second, third, and fourth, and fifth and
sixth opinions. How does that work when there's a disagreement
about what quality of life looks like for you?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Yeah, I think what was on my side was two
years of asking for this and really pushing for it.
I love my oncologist, but you're absolutely right. And so
she actually helped me find the breast surgeon that I
went and saw, and the breast surgeon has done a
lot of research on women under the age of fifty
with oligo metastatic. That word means in one place. So
(30:38):
I have multiple tumors on my liver that are breast
cancer positive, but it's in one place. And so the
research that my doctor had done basically just proved that
essentially the quality of life and prolonged life was not
impacted but potentially helped the women under the age of
(30:59):
fifty livelong. And it was a controversial report because they said, well,
you researched women that are healthier. I'm giving everybody big
air quotes here healthier. So you know, I'm thankful that
I had worked out kind of a multi step plan
with that breast surgeon, and we're thankful that I even
(31:21):
can do this because I know mentally it's just going
to make me feel that much better. Like talking about
the wig, I remember going in the next day to
work feeling so confident, so common, the game changer.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, and it should not be discounted, and you shouldn't
be embarrassed to say I need this, this matters, this helps, this,
This has a huge impact on my well being, and
it's important for us to be able to say that
and not be embarrassed about it. Like that is a
part of this treatment and going through something like this.
The other big thing I know that you've been dealing with,
and this is something you know. The average age for
(31:54):
women to get breast cancer is sixty two, and I
think a lot of people think of breast cancer as
an older woman's disease post menopause. But for people who
are pre menopausal, for women who were gosh, you were
twenty eight, you want to have babies, you wanted to
have a family, You had an idea of what your
life was going to be. And fertility is such a
huge thing, especially when you're a cancer patient. You've had
(32:15):
to go through a lot to even have the opportunity
to possibly have a child.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Can you talk a little bit about that. Yeah. So
when I found out that it was stage four, it
was a Friday, December first, twenty nineteen. My girlfriend had
sat me down and was like, next steps is fertility,
and we'll get you into appointments the following week for
your oncologists, but you need to figure out your fertility
clinic now now. I called my GP and I was
(32:45):
set up immediately at Cornell with a fertility specialist who
saw me at six am the next morning. And I
will never forget that. And she was so kind and
pulled me into her office and said, I'm a breast
cancer survivor too, We're going to get you through this, kiddo.
And she's been my doctor from a fertility standpoint ever since.
(33:07):
But my doctor, my oncologist, fought with my fertility doctor
back and forth because I had estrogen positive breast cancer
and I remember this where you know. This then sparked
a whole heated discussion in our family where the moms
and our family were like, you gotta just save you.
You can adopt, it'll be fine, don't worry about it.
(33:29):
They kind of agreed with my oncologists that said, I'm
not saving your future babies. I'm saving you, and like
I'm keeping you alive and again just having your people.
I'm so grateful for Bob that he said, well, we're
kind of great, we're kind of cool. Marks like I
want that chance to have a biological child. And Bob
(33:51):
is adopted, and so it sparked a lot of really
interesting conversation and we pushed back and I remember I
was onlol, I was getting an estrogen suppressed, starting the shots.
I will never forget being in a bar in a
basically doing the men appure, which is all of the
(34:13):
hormones that you have to take to go through egg
freezing in a bar because my friends decided to throw
Bob and I an engagement party nice and just being
down and literally just shooting up like no big deal,
Like I'll never forget that. And you know, we were
able to save five eggs, and from those five eggs
from a twenty eight year old, we have two baby
(34:34):
girl embryos and now we're working through the sergacy process,
which also is just mind boggling and crazy, but really
thankful that we're even in a place and situation where
we can even afford it.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
But the oncologies, I'm going back because this is my
ignorance and learning about all this, and I'm assume a
lot of people are as well. But what is the
fight between the oncologist and your fertility doctor. What the
oncologist thinks you were putting yourself at risk potentially yes
by doing so? Yes, What is that? I say, I
don't completely understand how you making decision about fertility then
(35:10):
ends up putting you adversely at risk for something else?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (35:14):
So typically when you're doing IVF, you wouldn't suppress your
estrogen TJ. So that is basically the big difference is
that my fertility doctor knew that I had estrogen positive
breast cancer, so she put me on letrasol. And that
was the discussion, right of your stage four we're not
(35:38):
talking around here, you need to get on treatment immediately.
And I was like, okay, you know you're deer in
headlights when you first find out this news. And so
really that's the argument of stage four, we need to
start you on treatment immediately. And this was my you know, experience,
but I am sure that other doctors with other stages
(36:00):
would probably push for no fertility too, so that they
can immediately hop on your medication and start saving your life.
It's a delay in treatment.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
You're adding estrogen into your body.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yeah, two weeks, but it was that serious too when
you hear stage four, two weeks is too too long
for the oncologist. I don't want to wait a moment.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Right, even though we were suppressing my estrogen, so that
that's the crazy thing. I mean, at twenty eight I
probably should have popped out like thirty eggs, but because
we were suppressing my estrogen, I only got five. But
that's five more than I would have had had I
not done it.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
And at stage two, by the way, my oncologist told me,
granted I was also forty and already had children, but
she point blank said this to me almost immediately after
my diagnosis, you are out of the baby making business.
Be glad you had two kids, but you're not going
to do anything. I mean, they did give me a
two week window, but she was adamantly opposed. Even at
(36:56):
stage two for me to harvest any eggs. And that's
something that people don't think about when you now have
younger women getting this disease at advanced stages. It's something
that people don't consider, and it's important. It's a big
part of who we are as women and what we
thought our life would look like. And when it's taken
away from you, suddenly it becomes something you didn't ever
(37:17):
think you had to consider. Exactly what have the emotions
been for you?
Speaker 1 (37:23):
The emotions a roller coaster, the sergacy stuff, survivor guilt robes.
I'm I find myself in weird places. You know you
when you are diagnosed with stage four. Stage four means
a lot of different things. I have friends with it
in their bones and brain, in their liver, brain, long,
(37:46):
you know, more than just ol ago metastatic. And so
for me, it's tough to see those women go. It's
tough to keep fighting and so it's such an emotional
roller coaster that it's it's been a challenge. And again,
friends are huge. Families huge.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
My family is always just so positive, which is great. Uh.
Sometimes I have to be like, Okay, fam I love you,
but let me be sad. For a second, please like
cut out the jokes, like this is serious, but cancer.
Speaker 4 (38:20):
Humor works, it works, you need it right it absolutely
It sounds a cob but it's actually it's a survival tool,
so true.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
And you have to laugh. You have to laugh.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
You have to laugh, and you've taught us to laugh
and to live differently. We're going to talk more about
how you live and I want you to inspire everyone
listening the way you've inspired me. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Welcome back to Amy and TJ.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
We have more with the amazing Morgan Mitchell and Morgan.
I wanted to you you know something that people asked
me even when I had my diagnosis. But I'm sure
you get this all the time, Stage four metastatic breast cancer.
I know that some people say it's like the way
you're treated, it's like almost witnessing your own funeral while
(39:17):
you're still alive, and people don't know what to say,
they don't know how to act, they don't know what
to do. Can you talk a little bit about just
let people know what's a good thing to say and
maybe even what's a bad thing to say.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
It's okay, you all, We are going to continue with
Morgan here just a second. But crazy as it sounds,
she told us when she came in she was expecting
a call from her doctor. She has. The surgery we
talked about is tomorrow, and she just had to get
up to take the call from her doctor who is
going to talk her through and explain what the process
and the surgery is going to be tomorrow. It's amazing.
(39:52):
We didn't plan this, she said, Hey, guys, just heads up,
and sure enough the phone rang while we're here in
the middle of this.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Yeah, and she has to go make sure she knows
what's happening tomorrow. It's a surgery. It's an amputation. I mean,
it's not a boob job. I think a lot of
people think it's just some Oh you're getting new boobs, great,
good for you.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
I wish I had.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I mean, no, this is a major surgery and she
has to get everything lined up and she has to
know what she's doing tomorrow. So we're gonna let her
take care of that. In the meantime, I wanted to
mention I was able to talk to And she's also
been in the news lately. Shannon Doherty. She's also stage
four metastatic. She was diagnosed with early stage I believe
(40:31):
in twenty fifteen, and in twenty seventeen she found out
that in fact it had recurred or there was a
recurrence and it was metastatic. And she said to me
after she was newly diagnosed that figuring out the mental
part of this is the hardest part. And she referred
me to, of all things, a snoopy Charlie Brown cartoon
(40:54):
that she says she reads daily to get her through
the day, to get her going, to keep her mood
and her mind in the right place. And I was like,
Charlie Brown cartoon, but I was going to share it
with you all because it's it's really a beautiful thing,
and I encourage you how to look it up. Charlie
Brown says, I think Morgan's coming back in. Actually, hey Morgan, we.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Kept going without you, So come on back, sit down,
come to the MiCT my instructions for tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
All right, in the morning, let's go LFG.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
All right. You came right in the middle of I
was talking.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
You know, you're familiar with Shannonhorty stage four metastatic, and
she was brave to come out and talk about it
and be you know, basically a model for everyone to
look at and watch and see and learn from, because
there's so much to learn. But she was She referred
me to this Charlie Brown cartoon that she leans on,
that she looks to every morning to get her going
when she's not necessarily in the mood to do just that.
(41:52):
Charlie Brown says to Snoopy, we only live once, Snoopy
kind of like Yolo. Snoopy says to Charlie Brown. Wrong,
we only die once. We live every day. And that
is what I see you doing. What do you say
to yourself? Who do you turn to? Is it Bob?
(42:12):
Is it yourself when you're feeling like you just don't
want to get up, when you're afraid?
Speaker 1 (42:19):
It's Bob. It's my closest friends, and you know whether
it's our safe word. I need a distraction, and my
girlfriends just crack me up with crazy stories. And if
for Bob, it's where are we going next? Baby? What
mountain are we climbing? And Norway's up on our list
(42:39):
this summer? I love that.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
And you and when you when you were when you
were interrupted by your doctor, you were going to tell
us what what people can say should say and what
they shouldn't say.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Yeah, so please never say, oh, like you've got this,
I had a mom or a you know, aunt or whatever.
Everybody situation is different, and so I think, yes, it's
nice to have common ground, but it's simple, I'm thinking
about you. I'm here for you. I know that this
(43:11):
is gonna be tough or I don't know what you're
going through at all, but I'm here for you and
I want you to know that you're supported or I'm
part of your army, I'm part of your tribe. Please
never just blank stares when somebody tells you because they
don't know what to say. I've gotten that, and that
probably was the worst because I think a lot of
(43:33):
us with just emotional EQ after we get diagnosed with cancer,
know that when people screw up and don't say the
right thing, it's coming from a place of love or
the one if anybody can do this, it's you go no,
that's yeah, No, that one's that one's also not so great,
(43:54):
or you know, God really just is going to be
by your side and if anybody can and can fight this,
you know he'll be there for you. Because you don't
know what religious spectrum people are on. Let me tell
you what I've been rollercoasting a round of like my
beliefs with a cancer diagnosis, and so I think it's
just really making sure that your friends and family, wives, sisters,
(44:18):
whoever gets diagnosed just knows that you have their back.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
It's always with you. But do you like sometimes going somewhere,
going out? I mean, I'm used to going Every time
I go out with you, we don't end up talking
about cancer.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We know God, I thank God, we just don't. But
is that okay?
Speaker 3 (44:34):
I never think to give a nod to And if
I didn't know, and nobody knew, they wouldn't have no
clue that you're going through what you're going through.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
They would have no clue. Yeah, I mean because of
how you live, the energy you get. We're talking about
this all.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
You walk into a room sometimes it is dark and
wonder what's wrong with everybody. Sometimes you are the light
that needs to come into the room. You are always
the light. I have never been in a room where
you aren't the light when you walk in. Never thank you.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I'm serious. It's just how you live and your output
because it's the only thing you can control. And TJ,
you know I'll never forget when you you're such a
gentleman and put me in a cab and made sure
I've found my uber like and got home safe, for example.
And I think just it's the kind things like that
(45:23):
that you can do for people that are going through
things where it's almost like you doing all right, and
you've done that, and it opens the door for me
to be like, you know what I'm not or you
know what I'm not, But I don't want to think
about it tonight. So let's party or let's have a
good time. Let's, you know, get together with a group
of friends and just be silly, because that's what life's
(45:43):
all about. I think Amy had mentioned, you know, laughter
really cures all, and it does.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
It's Fiel's boy. She I messaged her earlier asking how
you were doing. Her response, yes, let's ingo.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
That is her mantra, and and it is one of
those things where you can control how you respond, you
can't control anything else. What's the biggest lesson you have learned?
Is there one that you can point to through all
of this? With all of this, I mean, there is pain,
there is fear, there is suffering. What have you learned
(46:22):
that the rest of us maybe don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
There's so many lessons from it. I think for me,
you can't take any day for granted. And I know
a lot of people say that it may be cliche,
but we don't know what tomorrow holds. And I think
that keeps me going to have that smile on my
face and to keep an optimistic demeanor about myself. And
(46:50):
that's the biggest lesson that I think I could take
from all of this. And also, you know, there's always
going to be people that want to bring you down
or hate on you, and for me, I have no
time to think about them anymore.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
And you have been I'm gonna cry, the biggest supporter
with everything that happened last year. You were amazing, like
you get it, like those are the writer dies and
you are one of my rider dies. And I know
you didn't get to meet my good friend Olivia Hutcherson,
but I know we talked about her all the time,
and for those who don't know, she passed away just
(47:27):
after Thanksgiving this past year, after fighting so beautifully and
living so beautifully for several years with Stage four. But
when we think about how life is so unexpected, you
don't know what tomorrow brings. I think cancer patients and
(47:48):
cancer survivors and cancer thrivers just are a little bit
more aware of how precious that time is. And you
have spent it, and you are spending it so well,
and I am I am learning from you and through
you how to live better each and every day. You're
that special and you're that beautiful, and I love you.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I love you. Two rooms, and get on that get
on that plane. If you're healthy enough to get on
a plane and see the world, get on that plane.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Birthday is when yours is coming up.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
With Valentine's Day. You got some Aquarius girls in the house.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
What's the plane for the birthday?
Speaker 1 (48:27):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Okay, what's the next trip?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Healing up? Next trip? Uh, we're going to Cabo in June.
Speaker 3 (48:34):
Okay? And you tell you mentioned earlier about your treatment
every three weeks. But just sitting here right now, just physically,
how do you feel just on a day to day,
how do you feel physically tired?
Speaker 1 (48:44):
I know it doesn't look like I'm tired, but you
know after a marathon the next day, okay, where you
have to walk downstairs backwards just to survive. Yes, some day,
some days. My bad days feel like that, but the
good days just feel like that runner is high that
you're just so fortunate enough to experience. And I'm grateful
(49:05):
that I have marathoning to fall back on because it's
such a good I think analogy for what I have
ahead of me.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Yeah, you've still got a lot of marathons to run. Yeah,
and we're grateful for you. Morgan. Thank you so much,
Thank you so much for coming in today.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Thank you. Guys.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Want to let everybody know you can check out Amy
and DJ on Instagram to weigh in, say whatever you
want comments away.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Let's limit that a little, but I really.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Do hope that, I really do hope that you listen
to Morgan and you hear her story and you live
better because of it.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
And folks get your mammograms. Fellas out there, women in
your life, you need to remind them it's not just
about women. This affects us all. So men you are
in this game as well, remind them all. There is
a ninety percent survival rate within five years for people
who are diagnosed with breast cancer. So this is something.
If it's called early, if it's diagnosed, if it gets
(50:08):
to treatment, this is something you can absolutely get past
and deal with, and we need to remember that. And
we know one in eight women are diagnosed with breast cancer,
but you know what that means, seven out of eight
won't be So everybody has to be in this to
support the one in eight. And your words something you
didn't you said before we started. You said I got
(50:29):
slapped in the face with life, and that stuck with me.
I wrote that down to the top of my page.
But I love that you got slapped in the face
with life. And when that happens to you, Morgan, you
are You are the absolute And I don't say this
just because you're sitting here. I say this behind your
back all the time. You are an anomaly. You are
(50:53):
a joy like I have never seen. And if she'd
never told me you had metastatic breast cancer, you just
that chick is awesome because of the way you are,
period point blank. So I will say it here publicly.
I say it behind your back. I don't say it
to your face enough. You are an absolute joy and
an anomaly in life. And I'm so glad I got
to meet you. I'm sorry that breast cancer brought us together.
(51:15):
Breast cancer brought you two together, but you know that's
how life goes sometimes. But I just wanted to say
that to you. Here you are and I love you too, girl.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Thank you guys,
Welcome everyone to Amy and TJ.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We are at least I am coming in hot today,
literally actually coming in hot. Were you embarrassed to be
next to me on the way into work today?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I am never embarrassed to be next to you under
any circumstance.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
What's the temperature outside sixty something today? Yeah, so normally
you would wear.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
A jacket, but this is Coke Wether.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
It's cold weather for sure, right.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Uh. Yes, So by the time I made it to
the subway, I had to strip down to my tank
top and then walked out of the subway and felt
amazing with a tank top on.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
You know, if I was listening to this and I
heard Amy Roebox say she stripped down in public to
her tank top, the visual I have is different from
what I actually saw. When I was on the train
with you. Still had you still had pants and other
things on, right right, I was sweating profusely. And this
is a problem I think a lot of women of
a certain age understand. But I've been dealing with this
(01:02):
since I was forty, when I was put into a
medically induced menopause. That was something that happened from my
breast cancer diagnosis and It's one of those things that
just lives on like it's just it feels like it's
never gone away. So for ten years, hot flashes have
really ruled my life. In this morning, or at least today,
(01:23):
that was an extra special fun commute, extra special fun.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yes, right, Eddie. I knew people were staring at me.
It was embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
But this happens every day, several times a day, and
I know when it's going to I can tell when
it's happening. It's fun for me now, it's game because
you start ripping off like blankets and whatnot in the
middle of the night, and all I do is reach
over and I just take my finger and just give
it a little slide up your back and soaking wet, so.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Wet, so wet. I'm not being dramatic. No, no, no,
I'm not being dramatic. This is a real thing. I
go through sheets every three weeks.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It is. Yeah, it's a dramatic event for me, multiple
times a day, and it's just when it happens in public,
it's so embarrassing. It's happened on planes, and today, I
think for one of the first times it happened.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
On this subway.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I say all of this to bring up because this
is part of the theme of today's podcast. We are
in the month of January, a lot of people are
focusing on their health, and I really wanted to take
the time today to remind women that.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
This is a month.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
This is a reminder as we reset and we focus
on improving ourselves, to make that appointment for your mammogram.
I think a lot of people out there know that
I'm a breast cancer survivor, and I am only a
survivor and a thriver because I was pushed into a
MAMMO van for a work assignment back in two thousand
(02:49):
and thirteen, and I thought I was the picture of health,
and turns out I had stage two invasive breast cancer.
It had already spread to my lymph nodes, and curiously enough,
at the time, the recommendation was that women who had
no family history could wait until they're fifty, So I
had no intention of going at any point before I
(03:10):
was fifty. It was only because of a work assignment
that I went ahead and did it at forty to
kind of show other women, hey, it's not that bad,
it's not that horrible of a test, and it can
save your life. Well, it wound up doing just that
for me, and I have been preaching mammograms. They're not perfect,
but they're the best test we have. And so I
just want to encourage any woman out there who's dragging
(03:32):
their feet, who is at any age, honestly whenever you
feel it's necessary, because and we'll talk about this, and
I've said this so many times, this focus on family
history is ridiculous. Only fifteen percent of breast cancer patients
have family history with breast cancer. So eighty five percent
of us who are survivors or who have been diagnosed
(03:53):
have zero family history. So that shouldn't even be a
part of your equation as to whether or not you
should get a mammogram or when you should get a mammogram.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
And it's changed, I know.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Interesting, it is a part of the equation, or should
be if you do have a family est so you.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Have twice the chance of having or developing bast.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Can and you should get in there and beyond it,
no matter kind of what age you got to be diligent.
But to your point, and I've had this conversation with
you when we've done shows before and we've been in
commercial breaks or somewhere in the office that I was
blown away, like, wait a minute, I thought it was
all about family history, and you explained that it was not.
And the numbers are so low. Don't get me wrong,
(04:32):
it's still important to talk about, but it seems like
a lot of women do think, Hey, I don't have
a family history. I'm good until forty forty five.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Fifty that was me and I was definitely to fifty.
So I just it's a reminder, and in fact, if
you all have been following the news, I'm sure you have.
In the last few weeks, we've seen two women, women
who are in the public eye, who have come forward
to announce that they too have breast cancer. Nicole Eggert
you may remember her from Baywatch Charles in Charge.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
She is now.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
She was just diagnosed with stage two breast cancer and
she found it through a self exam. And then, wow,
what an impassioned speech CNN anchor Sarah Seidner gave this week,
just a powerful on air announcement and reminder about taking
initiative and taking control of your own health. She was
just diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. She's in treatment
(05:21):
right now, and she reminded all of us, and this
is staggering. Stage three now is absolutely curable. But if
you're a Black woman or a woman of color in
this country, you are forty percent more likely to die
from breast cancer.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
That is appalling.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It's appalling, and it's you start to read up on
this stuff and it really pisses you off that that
black women once again are bearing the brunt of something
in this country at a disproportionate number. So black women,
and again we talk about women. Of course it overwhelmingly
breast cancer affects women. But every man that can hear
our voice right now is impacted by breast cancer because
(05:58):
you got all of us, got a mom, well, got aunts,
got sisters, got cousins, got friends, got somebody is impacted.
But black women, you have a if you're listening to
our voices, and if anybody out there has a Black
woman in their life that you care about, you need
to be talking to them about this. Because it was
staggering to me that under the age of forty the
(06:19):
numbers for black women, you are, you your chances of dying.
If you're a black woman right now, under the age
of forty, you get diagnosed with breast cancer and you
have a friend, a white woman who's under forty diagnosed
with breast cancer. Both of you under forty diagnosed with
breast cancer. Your chances of dying almost double hers chances
of dying from it, and this is something we can
do about it. Look, there's so many socioeconomic reasons for this,
(06:42):
and you go back to just systemic racism in this
country that has led to a position to where black folks,
black women have less access to healthcare. They are in
places and neighborhoods that oftentimes that don't have the best
and our mental factors. You also have this issue where
you talk about poverty, not eating the best, which also
(07:05):
has an impact. We're disproportionately impacted by wave gain, obesity.
All of those things have an impact. But I am
blown away that the chances of a black woman getting
breast cancer are still less than a white.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Woman's, but they die more regularly.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
You yet it, you have a much greater chance of dying.
And that's just that We've got to keep beating that drum.
And I'm glad Sarah sidon Or, who somebody I worked
with when I was seeing and she's been there a
long time and is as good as they come, and
I'm glad she this has come to the forefront.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Yeah, and if you can, anybody google her and google
her speech that she gave on air. It is It
is incredible, and it is powerful, and hopefully it will
save lives. It will inspire people who haven't or don't
want to, or have had a hard time finding a
way to get a mammogram, to push and to advocate. Unfortunately,
as women, a lot of times we do have to
(07:55):
advocate for ourselves, and so that is part of the equation. Also,
note you know, I know, and I've preached early detection.
I have preached prevention because the sooner you find your
breast cancer, the better chance you have of surviving it.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Period.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
But it's important to note anyone, whatever stage you are,
as zero to three, that's an early stage breast cancer.
Thirty percent of those of us who had an early
stage breast cancer will go on to develop stage four
metastatic breast cancer. And a lot of people out there
might not know the difference in the distinction. I certainly
didn't before I was diagnosed. But this is the best
(08:31):
way to describe it. While amazing drugs and treatments and
therapies have come about in the last five to ten years.
We can extend the lives and create a better standard
of living for women living with stage four breast cancer.
But right now it remains incurable and it is ultimately terminal,
(08:55):
and people don't like to talk about it because it's
sad and it's scary. But if we don't talk about it,
we can't get the funding we need. Because there is
a cure for breast cancer. It's called cash and that
creates research which will eventually create a cure. And I
know that every scientist I've talked to believes it is imminent.
It will happen in our lifetime. But for people who
are fighting for their life, it can't come soon enough.
(09:18):
And one of those people is one of my best friends.
Her name is Morgan Mitchell. She is a force. I
met her five years ago April third, twenty nineteen, to
be specific. We were at a cancer Gallas sponsored by
five under forty. You mentioned women under forty. I was
diagnosed at forty, but I had had my cancer for
(09:38):
a couple of years according to doctors, so I absolutely
got breast cancer in my thirties. Morgan found her breast
cancer at the age of twenty eight, and that is happening.
More and more younger women are being diagnosed with metastatic
stage four breast cancer and doctors don't know why, but
it's happening at a much higher rate than it has
(09:59):
in the past. And get this, Morgan found her lump
on the day she got engaged to her now amazing husband, Bob,
who we love and adore. But what an unbelievable date.
You know, you always remember the day you got engaged.
But she found her lump, and then a few days
(10:20):
weeks later, she ended up getting the diagnosis that she
couldn't have imagined. That it wasn't just breast cancer, it
was staged four metastatic breast cancer that had already spread
to her liver. And so now she found herself planning
treatment and surgeries at the same time she was planning
a wedding.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Well guess what.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Six years later, Morgan is in studio with us to
talk about her journey and to inspire you a to
be an advocate for your own health, but be to
live better, to live differently, and to live with purpose.
So Morgan, welcome to the iHeart Studio.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Who Amy TJ. Thank you guys so much.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Okay, this isn't fair, all right, because people can't see
your face, Okay, because what she just said metastatic and
people don't want to talk about it because it's sad.
I've known you for I don't know how many years now,
and the one thing that's never come across my mind
when I'm around you is the word sad or a
feeling of sad. I know when I first that run we.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Took Williamsburg Bridge, there was a doozy that we took.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
I messaged her afterwards like, who the hell is this lady?
Because you are you hear metastatic and you want to
you think like, oh my goodness, what But you are
a joy with every room you walk into. And there
ain't nothing I've ever seen sad about you.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Nothing, Thank you, TJ.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
I try to live that way for sure, but you know,
the ups and downs. It's a roller coaster of emotions.
But you got to look at the glass half full,
because looking at it the other way it's just too
damn sad.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Were you always like that?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, for the most part.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
I mean retime marathon or before this, you climb mountains,
you hike, you're so energetic and athletic and and had
so many plants and still do, but they all got
disrupted and interrupted and changed because of this diagnosis. I
will say, you are a badass director of business at
(12:20):
a major media company and you are wheeling and dealing.
I have been with you when you are getting a
chemo treatment and you are closing like what a seventy
million dollars deal on the phone. I mean, I think
we have a picture of it. It was remarkable. Thank you?
Maybe yeah, I know sometimes you say I don't have
a choice but to do that, but you do. You
could curl up in fetal position and say, why me
(12:42):
do you do that?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Have you had those moments?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
How do you keep living your life and at the
same time dealing with this diagnosis that I'm sure you
never forget any moment of any day? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Crazy to wake up? Hot flashes are a great room, Like, oh,
I have cancer. How many do you get a day?
It depends on the day, to be honest, probably once
or twice. Yeah, but it's for real. The shedding is
for real. But you had asked about do I ever
you know, call up in a field position? Absolutely? Absolutely,
(13:19):
But I am surrounded by amazing people who lift me up,
like yourself, like family and friends, an amazing husband, And
I think really finding the joy in life is how
we've been able to just put one foot in front
of the other and go. I also think a lot
more rolls off my back. Pre cancer, I was stressed
out about work, stressed out about everything, you know, very
(13:43):
type A, cared way too much about what everybody thought.
And you get this diagnosis and all of a sudden
you're like, wait a minute, I'm the only one that can,
you know, make this really better and make my life
the way that I want to. And while six years later,
I can be grateful for the diagnoses, which probably to
some of you will seem insane, Thank you therapy. Are
(14:06):
you grateful? I am, yeah, for the cancer. I am
grateful for the diagnosis and the experience. But I think
that it's allowed me to meet a lot of amazing
women and really impact my life in such a positive way.
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I just
wish I didn't have it and life could be so
(14:28):
much easier, and the what ifs and the what ifs
really bring you down, And those are the hard questions
to quiet the nerves, quiet the voices inside of your
head and work with a therapist or speak to your
husband about it. You know, having lots of conversations with
Bob about like what do we want to do, what
do we want to get out of the next five years?
(14:49):
What do they look like for us? I didn't want
kids until I met Bob, and I knew that my
life once I found out about breast cancer was going
to be forever impacted. And I think that Amy has
been the hardest challenge of them all, is kind of
dealing with your whole future being kind of thrown up
in the air and kind of lit on fire.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You said, you guys talked about like what did the
next five years look like? What have What did those
five years look like?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
That's a great question. Lots of traveling, teach lots of traveling,
lots of taking the girls trips. Bob would tell me
to take more girls trips, and really focusing in on
getting out in the mountains and renewing our sense of
just exploration, so climbing a lot of mountains. Amy had
mentioned we went to New Zealand on our honeymoon, we
(15:41):
got married, We lived life to the fullest. I don't
think that our wedding would have been the fairy tale
slash celebration of life that it was if I wasn't
diagnosed and dealing with something so chronic. And I think
that was something Amy you had mentioned that stage four
(16:03):
is ultimately terminal. And I think the biggest learning for
me was when I had gotten my second opinion and
the doctor at the time that on collegist said, we
like to think about your life as an encyclopedia, lots
of chapters. Some might be short, others might be really long.
And so for me that was a good analogy to
really take home and apply because some treatments I've been
(16:27):
on for nine months, others I've been on for three years.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Talk about I'm curious because a lot of people want
to know what is treatment like for you? Yeah, when
you're metastatic, where are you in your treatments and what
are they like? How often are they just give us
a sense of what it's like as a patient.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
So from diagnoses to now, I have been on a
three week regimen of infusions. They have varied from immunotherapies
which are great, you don't lose your hair, I say, great,
They're not fun, you get hot flashes, you get a
lot of really not fun GI symptoms, let's be honest.
And it's been frustrating. So with each treatment and each
(17:11):
kind of new drug that I've tried, the side effects
are different. So it's all about symptom management. But right
now I am on a drug that's a drug conjugate,
which basically means chemo plus that immunotherapy that i'd speak
or spoke about, and it's hard, it's challenging. I'm down
for the count for about a week. A lot of
my girlfriends would say, you're down for the count is
(17:34):
like somebody's average day. So I'm thankful for that. I
have probably had an abundance of energy. I always have
been a ball of energy. I think that's amy why
you and I are like of ken if you will.
And it's just really stinks. I guess the week after
treatment because you're really kind of nauseous. Your head could
(17:57):
be in the porcelain bowl, and you just like, did
I go out and have a three day bench or
how am I feeling right now?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Right? But you're still going to work, You're not missing
days of work. And you know what I think of
when I think of Morgan. She likes to type this
to me or texas to me, LFG, let's can go.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, that is you.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And every time I hear that or see that, I
think of Morgan like that is I feel like you're
a mantra LFG. Even when you're going into treatment, even
when you know you're gonna have a bad day. Let's
do this, let's get this done. But this is you've
explained this to me, the last treatment available to you
right now. Explain that.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Yeah, so it's been six years since I was diagnosed.
In those six years, this drug it's called in her
two astra Zeneca came out with it. I want to say,
now it's been two years, it'll be two years in
the summer that they release this drug, and it was
not available six years ago. And now I'm on it
and you're constantly checking in with your doctors on how
(18:57):
does your blood work look, how are your pet skins looking?
And if this stops working, I don't have like another
option of a new drug to try that could potentially
continue to save my life. We would have to recycle
and go back to a different chapter that I may
have already tried, and for me psychologically, to go back
to something that didn't work. I brain can't compute that.
(19:20):
You know, it's hard to compartmentalize when you know that
something didn't work and there's a potential.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
To have to go back to that, but right now
it is working. Yes, yeah, all right, and you have
something very big happening tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
We're going to talk about that after the.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Break because it's something that you've fought for that isn't
necessarily something that doctors advocate for or even support in
some cases. The choice you've made something you're doing tomorrow,
and we're going to talk about that when we come back.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Welcome back to Amy and TJ.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
We have one of my favorite people with us here today,
Morgan Mitchell. She is a warrior, she's a survivor, she's
a thriver. She is living with stage four metastatic breast cancer.
And I teased something she's going to do tomorrow, but
actually I wanted to before we get to that, go
(20:23):
back a bit because you got emotional, not about yourself,
but when TJ was talking about black women and how
they suffer disproportionately to women of any other color, you
got emotional. You actually have a personal connection to this
(20:43):
and story to this, and it starts with five hundred forty,
the organization in which we met.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, you meet so many powerful women throughout a breast
cancer journey, and I think for me being in a
room with young professionals that are you know, I mean,
this amazing African American woman. She is a doctor and
she also has Stage four and I met her at
five hundred and forty and I remember her saying that
(21:09):
my own hospital didn't take me seriously. And it stuck
with me. How could somebody's own hospital, that they're a
doctor not take her seriously or say, oh, you'll be fine,
you'll be back in two weeks, here's your drug regimen.
You've got this. And the fact that it's probably because
(21:32):
she was black drives me insane and it's not fair.
And I know that I had an angel in this,
a girlfriend who was working for the breast surgeon that
I was initially diagnosed by. And if you don't have
somebody like that telling you what to do, the questions
to ask, helping you, pushing you through it, it can
be a really dark, scary journey, even in the medical world.
(21:55):
And it's I honestly get stick to my stomach because
it's it's not fair and it's not right, and so yeah,
I got super emotional about it because I couldn't imagine
not having the army behind me to get me to
where I am now. And that's why I'm strong.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
And that leads to the numbers. Right, Well, it's disproportional.
You all talk all the time about you have to
be your own advocate. I know you have been your
own advocate. You have to do the same walking in there,
and for black women oftentimes who do not have the
backing and the voice and they're being believed. But it's
wild that the number one, the number one cancer for
(22:36):
deaths in this country. The leading cause of cancer deaths
is lung cancer for white men, The leading cause of
cancer deaths for white women lung cancer. The leading death
from cancer for black men is lung cancer. The leading
cause of cancer death among black women is breast cancer.
(22:56):
The only group in there that lung cancer isn't leading
the way. So where does the for you all, and
you were just talking about this, where does the difficulty
in the advocacy come from? And being able to tell
her all the time she has whatever issue and then
she used to go starts googling. I was Jesus, please
don't go Google.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Because you're gonna have all kinds of.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
New ways when you have When you have a cancer diagnosis,
even if you've survived it and you're in technical remission,
any little hiccup is a massive wave of fear that
it's come back.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
But if you have a scratch on the back of
your hand, if you still go. But you go, and
you do all the research, and then you go ask
the question you advocate for yourself. What were the challenges
you had in getting someone to first believe you, listen
to you, and then take a course of action that
(23:50):
you wanted.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, great question again. I had mentioned that I had
an angel of a girlfriend who worked for a breast surgeon.
She was my first call. I mean, Bob and I
are laying in Yosemite. He's gonna propose you guys. Had
mentioned that, and I like, feel a walnut sized lump
in my breast and I'm like WTF. So we woke
(24:11):
up on East Coast time and I called my girlfriend
immediately and had like full on panic attack with her.
She was eighty percent or benign, and I was like, okay,
but this doesn't feel right. Doesn't feel like dense breast tissue,
which is what I had had, and having her kind
of helped me get through the stages and seeing her
(24:33):
passion because her mother also is a breast cancer survivor
and is a breast cancer survivor. That really helped me
kind of show me the ropes of you know, this
is your health. You are the one that has to
go home at the end of the day, not them,
and you have to live with yourself. And so we've
kind of always lived by that mantra of what feels
(24:53):
right for you. Yeah, and Amy te's this a little bit.
But tomorrow I'm having a masectomy of my left breast
and I've already had my right breast removed. This is
very not on protocol for metastatic breast cancer. It's controversial. Yeah,
it is. Why because typically they don't like to remove
the host and put you through that trauma of surgery. So,
(25:16):
like Amy had mentioned, you know, some old school thoughts
would be that it's terminal, so why put you through
that from a quality of life standpoint, And so we're
treating you systemically, you know, from your brain all the
way down to your toes with the medicine that you're on,
So why go through that? Because essentially those meds should
shrink everything and keep you alive. So why do you
(25:40):
want to go through it?
Speaker 2 (25:40):
I mean, you know you have tumors in your liver, correct, yes,
And why then would you want to remove your breast.
I mean it's obviously a very traumatic surgery, which you
already know, So why do that?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Ames, I'm going to be thirty five in a few weeks,
like I need to have my situation situated. I got
to feel good about myself, and so a lot of
it is all mental. You know, I had a reoccurrence
or not a reoccurrence, because I have always had breast cancer,
but I had more tumors pop up in my right
(26:16):
breast during COVID, and during COVID, you know, they would
only do surgery that was required, and so we really
pushed to get the double missectomy at the time, and
doctors did not recommend that at the time for me,
given my situation, given the blood work, given my treatment regimen,
which is still every three weeks. My butt is in
that infusion chair. So I had to get back to
(26:39):
my systemic therapy and get back on the meds, so
luckily and her two has been working and it's been
working for two years. And I think you were with
me at the treatment where I was just asking a
lot of questions, really pushing. I'm like, okay, well I'm
not happy. I mean, you got a lot of pushback.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I want to just say from the doctors, I was
kind of I was impressed and amazed at your tenacity
and you coming back at a doctor. A lot of
women don't have that hutzpot, like they don't feel like
they can push back from what a doctor's telling you
because the doctor's told you no.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Yeah. And I've been fortunate enough to have such a
good relationship with my care team where they're willing to
hear you out. And I do think with metastatic a
lot of it is quality of life. And I'm going
to try not to get emotional, but it's like I
just got married, you know, Bob, and I are like
wanting to have this fruitful life, and every time I
(27:35):
hop in the shower, I feel like f in Frankenstein.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
And you're constantly reminded. So I didn't need to continue
to feel that way for the next I don't know,
five ten twenty years that I'm alive, Like, I want
to make sure that I look and feel as much
like a woman even though I'm going through crazy treatment
right now. I lost my hair within her too. That
was really hard.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
An amazing wig by the way, I mean amazing.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Those Orthodox women in Brooklyn know what's up. Thank you.
You know, everybody has something that they go through in
their life. And I think, just advocating for what you want,
you came with me to that treatment Amy. The next
treatment three weeks later, I brought in Bob and I said, baby,
I need you. He goes, what do you need? I said,
(28:26):
I need you to have my back, and I need
you to tell them how depressed I've been because behind
closed doors, like it's been tough. You know, it's not
all rainbows and butterflies, and this is the raw, real
stuff where you're like, I just want to feel normal.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Yeah, And I think you know what people discount the fact,
like it sounds superficial and silly to say you care
about your hair or you care about how your breasts look.
That is so important because when you have breast cancer,
so much of what makes you a woman is taken
away from you. Your ability to have children oftentimes if
you have a hormone positive cancer like you do, and
(29:02):
I did your breast and even though yes you're going
to get a mistectom and you're going to get reconstructive surgery,
which is an amazing thing, you know how they feel.
I know how they feel every time you're in a shower.
It's so funny you mentioned that, because that is when
I'm so aware of what I've been through, because you
have no feeling, and it's a strange. It's like two
rocks or boulders are like just kind of put on you,
(29:25):
and it's just like you know, the novacaine you feel
in a when you have your teeth and you're going
to the dentist and that's always there on your chest.
But if you don't look the way you want to look,
and you don't feel the way you want to feel,
it's hard to be in it to win it. In
a way, like the mental part of it is such
an important part of the physical healing as well, and
I think that's discounted often.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But is there a disagreement between patient and doctor sometime
about what quality of life actually means? You mentioned that,
but they might think your quality of life it should
be not having surgery, do you think? But how do
you bridge that gap? And I assume the doctor. You
can't just tell a doctor this is what you're going
to do. Do you have to kind of shop around
(30:07):
and keep getting second, third, and fourth, and fifth and
sixth opinions. How does that work when there's a disagreement
about what quality of life looks like for you?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Yeah, I think what was on my side was two
years of asking for this and really pushing for it.
I love my oncologist, but you're absolutely right. And so
she actually helped me find the breast surgeon that I
went and saw, and the breast surgeon has done a
lot of research on women under the age of fifty
with oligo metastatic. That word means in one place. So
(30:38):
I have multiple tumors on my liver that are breast
cancer positive, but it's in one place. And so the
research that my doctor had done basically just proved that
essentially the quality of life and prolonged life was not
impacted but potentially helped the women under the age of
(30:59):
fifty livelong. And it was a controversial report because they said, well,
you researched women that are healthier. I'm giving everybody big
air quotes here healthier. So you know, I'm thankful that
I had worked out kind of a multi step plan
with that breast surgeon, and we're thankful that I even
(31:21):
can do this because I know mentally it's just going
to make me feel that much better. Like talking about
the wig, I remember going in the next day to
work feeling so confident, so common, the game changer.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Yeah, and it should not be discounted, and you shouldn't
be embarrassed to say I need this, this matters, this helps, this,
This has a huge impact on my well being, and
it's important for us to be able to say that
and not be embarrassed about it. Like that is a
part of this treatment and going through something like this.
The other big thing I know that you've been dealing with,
and this is something you know. The average age for
(31:54):
women to get breast cancer is sixty two, and I
think a lot of people think of breast cancer as
an older woman's disease post menopause. But for people who
are pre menopausal, for women who were gosh, you were
twenty eight, you want to have babies, you wanted to
have a family, You had an idea of what your
life was going to be. And fertility is such a
huge thing, especially when you're a cancer patient. You've had
(32:15):
to go through a lot to even have the opportunity
to possibly have a child.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Can you talk a little bit about that. Yeah. So
when I found out that it was stage four, it
was a Friday, December first, twenty nineteen. My girlfriend had
sat me down and was like, next steps is fertility,
and we'll get you into appointments the following week for
your oncologists, but you need to figure out your fertility
clinic now now. I called my GP and I was
(32:45):
set up immediately at Cornell with a fertility specialist who
saw me at six am the next morning. And I
will never forget that. And she was so kind and
pulled me into her office and said, I'm a breast
cancer survivor too, We're going to get you through this, kiddo.
And she's been my doctor from a fertility standpoint ever since.
(33:07):
But my doctor, my oncologist, fought with my fertility doctor
back and forth because I had estrogen positive breast cancer
and I remember this where you know. This then sparked
a whole heated discussion in our family where the moms
and our family were like, you gotta just save you.
You can adopt, it'll be fine, don't worry about it.
(33:29):
They kind of agreed with my oncologists that said, I'm
not saving your future babies. I'm saving you, and like
I'm keeping you alive and again just having your people.
I'm so grateful for Bob that he said, well, we're
kind of great, we're kind of cool. Marks like I
want that chance to have a biological child. And Bob
(33:51):
is adopted, and so it sparked a lot of really
interesting conversation and we pushed back and I remember I
was onlol, I was getting an estrogen suppressed, starting the shots.
I will never forget being in a bar in a
basically doing the men appure, which is all of the
(34:13):
hormones that you have to take to go through egg
freezing in a bar because my friends decided to throw
Bob and I an engagement party nice and just being
down and literally just shooting up like no big deal,
Like I'll never forget that. And you know, we were
able to save five eggs, and from those five eggs
from a twenty eight year old, we have two baby
(34:34):
girl embryos and now we're working through the sergacy process,
which also is just mind boggling and crazy, but really
thankful that we're even in a place and situation where
we can even afford it.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
But the oncologies, I'm going back because this is my
ignorance and learning about all this, and I'm assume a
lot of people are as well. But what is the
fight between the oncologist and your fertility doctor. What the
oncologist thinks you were putting yourself at risk potentially yes
by doing so? Yes, What is that? I say, I
don't completely understand how you making decision about fertility then
(35:10):
ends up putting you adversely at risk for something else?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (35:14):
So typically when you're doing IVF, you wouldn't suppress your
estrogen TJ. So that is basically the big difference is
that my fertility doctor knew that I had estrogen positive
breast cancer, so she put me on letrasol. And that
was the discussion, right of your stage four we're not
(35:38):
talking around here, you need to get on treatment immediately.
And I was like, okay, you know you're deer in
headlights when you first find out this news. And so
really that's the argument of stage four, we need to
start you on treatment immediately. And this was my you know, experience,
but I am sure that other doctors with other stages
(36:00):
would probably push for no fertility too, so that they
can immediately hop on your medication and start saving your life.
It's a delay in treatment.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
You're adding estrogen into your body.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yeah, two weeks, but it was that serious too when
you hear stage four, two weeks is too too long
for the oncologist. I don't want to wait a moment.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Right, even though we were suppressing my estrogen, so that
that's the crazy thing. I mean, at twenty eight I
probably should have popped out like thirty eggs, but because
we were suppressing my estrogen, I only got five. But
that's five more than I would have had had I
not done it.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
And at stage two, by the way, my oncologist told me,
granted I was also forty and already had children, but
she point blank said this to me almost immediately after
my diagnosis, you are out of the baby making business.
Be glad you had two kids, but you're not going
to do anything. I mean, they did give me a
two week window, but she was adamantly opposed. Even at
(36:56):
stage two for me to harvest any eggs. And that's
something that people don't think about when you now have
younger women getting this disease at advanced stages. It's something
that people don't consider, and it's important. It's a big
part of who we are as women and what we
thought our life would look like. And when it's taken
away from you, suddenly it becomes something you didn't ever
(37:17):
think you had to consider. Exactly what have the emotions
been for you?
Speaker 1 (37:23):
The emotions a roller coaster, the sergacy stuff, survivor guilt robes.
I'm I find myself in weird places. You know you
when you are diagnosed with stage four. Stage four means
a lot of different things. I have friends with it
in their bones and brain, in their liver, brain, long,
(37:46):
you know, more than just ol ago metastatic. And so
for me, it's tough to see those women go. It's
tough to keep fighting and so it's such an emotional
roller coaster that it's it's been a challenge. And again,
friends are huge. Families huge.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
My family is always just so positive, which is great. Uh.
Sometimes I have to be like, Okay, fam I love you,
but let me be sad. For a second, please like
cut out the jokes, like this is serious, but cancer.
Speaker 4 (38:20):
Humor works, it works, you need it right it absolutely
It sounds a cob but it's actually it's a survival tool,
so true.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
And you have to laugh. You have to laugh.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
You have to laugh, and you've taught us to laugh
and to live differently. We're going to talk more about
how you live and I want you to inspire everyone
listening the way you've inspired me. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Welcome back to Amy and TJ.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
We have more with the amazing Morgan Mitchell and Morgan.
I wanted to you you know something that people asked
me even when I had my diagnosis. But I'm sure
you get this all the time, Stage four metastatic breast cancer.
I know that some people say it's like the way
you're treated, it's like almost witnessing your own funeral while
(39:17):
you're still alive, and people don't know what to say,
they don't know how to act, they don't know what
to do. Can you talk a little bit about just
let people know what's a good thing to say and
maybe even what's a bad thing to say.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
It's okay, you all, We are going to continue with
Morgan here just a second. But crazy as it sounds,
she told us when she came in she was expecting
a call from her doctor. She has. The surgery we
talked about is tomorrow, and she just had to get
up to take the call from her doctor who is
going to talk her through and explain what the process
and the surgery is going to be tomorrow. It's amazing.
(39:52):
We didn't plan this, she said, Hey, guys, just heads up,
and sure enough the phone rang while we're here in
the middle of this.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Yeah, and she has to go make sure she knows
what's happening tomorrow. It's a surgery. It's an amputation. I mean,
it's not a boob job. I think a lot of
people think it's just some Oh you're getting new boobs, great,
good for you.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
I wish I had.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I mean, no, this is a major surgery and she
has to get everything lined up and she has to
know what she's doing tomorrow. So we're gonna let her
take care of that. In the meantime, I wanted to
mention I was able to talk to And she's also
been in the news lately. Shannon Doherty. She's also stage
four metastatic. She was diagnosed with early stage I believe
(40:31):
in twenty fifteen, and in twenty seventeen she found out
that in fact it had recurred or there was a
recurrence and it was metastatic. And she said to me
after she was newly diagnosed that figuring out the mental
part of this is the hardest part. And she referred
me to, of all things, a snoopy Charlie Brown cartoon
(40:54):
that she says she reads daily to get her through
the day, to get her going, to keep her mood
and her mind in the right place. And I was like,
Charlie Brown cartoon, but I was going to share it
with you all because it's it's really a beautiful thing,
and I encourage you how to look it up. Charlie
Brown says, I think Morgan's coming back in. Actually, hey Morgan, we.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
Kept going without you, So come on back, sit down,
come to the MiCT my instructions for tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
All right, in the morning, let's go LFG.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
All right. You came right in the middle of I
was talking.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
You know, you're familiar with Shannonhorty stage four metastatic, and
she was brave to come out and talk about it
and be you know, basically a model for everyone to
look at and watch and see and learn from, because
there's so much to learn. But she was She referred
me to this Charlie Brown cartoon that she leans on,
that she looks to every morning to get her going
when she's not necessarily in the mood to do just that.
(41:52):
Charlie Brown says to Snoopy, we only live once, Snoopy
kind of like Yolo. Snoopy says to Charlie Brown. Wrong,
we only die once. We live every day. And that
is what I see you doing. What do you say
to yourself? Who do you turn to? Is it Bob?
(42:12):
Is it yourself when you're feeling like you just don't
want to get up, when you're afraid?
Speaker 1 (42:19):
It's Bob. It's my closest friends, and you know whether
it's our safe word. I need a distraction, and my
girlfriends just crack me up with crazy stories. And if
for Bob, it's where are we going next? Baby? What
mountain are we climbing? And Norway's up on our list
(42:39):
this summer? I love that.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
And you and when you when you were when you
were interrupted by your doctor, you were going to tell
us what what people can say should say and what
they shouldn't say.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
Yeah, so please never say, oh, like you've got this,
I had a mom or a you know, aunt or whatever.
Everybody situation is different, and so I think, yes, it's
nice to have common ground, but it's simple, I'm thinking
about you. I'm here for you. I know that this
(43:11):
is gonna be tough or I don't know what you're
going through at all, but I'm here for you and
I want you to know that you're supported or I'm
part of your army, I'm part of your tribe. Please
never just blank stares when somebody tells you because they
don't know what to say. I've gotten that, and that
probably was the worst because I think a lot of
(43:33):
us with just emotional EQ after we get diagnosed with cancer,
know that when people screw up and don't say the
right thing, it's coming from a place of love or
the one if anybody can do this, it's you go no,
that's yeah, No, that one's that one's also not so great,
(43:54):
or you know, God really just is going to be
by your side and if anybody can and can fight this,
you know he'll be there for you. Because you don't
know what religious spectrum people are on. Let me tell
you what I've been rollercoasting a round of like my
beliefs with a cancer diagnosis, and so I think it's
just really making sure that your friends and family, wives, sisters,
(44:18):
whoever gets diagnosed just knows that you have their back.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
It's always with you. But do you like sometimes going somewhere,
going out? I mean, I'm used to going Every time
I go out with you, we don't end up talking
about cancer.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
We know God, I thank God, we just don't. But
is that okay?
Speaker 3 (44:34):
I never think to give a nod to And if
I didn't know, and nobody knew, they wouldn't have no
clue that you're going through what you're going through.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
They would have no clue. Yeah, I mean because of
how you live, the energy you get. We're talking about
this all.
Speaker 3 (44:48):
You walk into a room sometimes it is dark and
wonder what's wrong with everybody. Sometimes you are the light
that needs to come into the room. You are always
the light. I have never been in a room where
you aren't the light when you walk in. Never thank you.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I'm serious. It's just how you live and your output
because it's the only thing you can control. And TJ,
you know I'll never forget when you you're such a
gentleman and put me in a cab and made sure
I've found my uber like and got home safe, for example.
And I think just it's the kind things like that
(45:23):
that you can do for people that are going through
things where it's almost like you doing all right, and
you've done that, and it opens the door for me
to be like, you know what I'm not or you
know what I'm not, But I don't want to think
about it tonight. So let's party or let's have a
good time. Let's, you know, get together with a group
of friends and just be silly, because that's what life's
(45:43):
all about. I think Amy had mentioned, you know, laughter
really cures all, and it does.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
It's Fiel's boy. She I messaged her earlier asking how
you were doing. Her response, yes, let's ingo.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
That is her mantra, and and it is one of
those things where you can control how you respond, you
can't control anything else. What's the biggest lesson you have learned?
Is there one that you can point to through all
of this? With all of this, I mean, there is pain,
there is fear, there is suffering. What have you learned
(46:22):
that the rest of us maybe don't know.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
There's so many lessons from it. I think for me,
you can't take any day for granted. And I know
a lot of people say that it may be cliche,
but we don't know what tomorrow holds. And I think
that keeps me going to have that smile on my
face and to keep an optimistic demeanor about myself. And
(46:50):
that's the biggest lesson that I think I could take
from all of this. And also, you know, there's always
going to be people that want to bring you down
or hate on you, and for me, I have no
time to think about them anymore.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
And you have been I'm gonna cry, the biggest supporter
with everything that happened last year. You were amazing, like
you get it, like those are the writer dies and
you are one of my rider dies. And I know
you didn't get to meet my good friend Olivia Hutcherson,
but I know we talked about her all the time,
and for those who don't know, she passed away just
(47:27):
after Thanksgiving this past year, after fighting so beautifully and
living so beautifully for several years with Stage four. But
when we think about how life is so unexpected, you
don't know what tomorrow brings. I think cancer patients and
(47:48):
cancer survivors and cancer thrivers just are a little bit
more aware of how precious that time is. And you
have spent it, and you are spending it so well,
and I am I am learning from you and through
you how to live better each and every day. You're
that special and you're that beautiful, and I love you.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
I love you. Two rooms, and get on that get
on that plane. If you're healthy enough to get on
a plane and see the world, get on that plane.
Speaker 3 (48:18):
Birthday is when yours is coming up.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
With Valentine's Day. You got some Aquarius girls in the house.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
What's the plane for the birthday?
Speaker 1 (48:27):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Okay, what's the next trip?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Healing up? Next trip? Uh, we're going to Cabo in June.
Speaker 3 (48:34):
Okay? And you tell you mentioned earlier about your treatment
every three weeks. But just sitting here right now, just physically,
how do you feel just on a day to day,
how do you feel physically tired?
Speaker 1 (48:44):
I know it doesn't look like I'm tired, but you
know after a marathon the next day, okay, where you
have to walk downstairs backwards just to survive. Yes, some day,
some days. My bad days feel like that, but the
good days just feel like that runner is high that
you're just so fortunate enough to experience. And I'm grateful
(49:05):
that I have marathoning to fall back on because it's
such a good I think analogy for what I have
ahead of me.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Yeah, you've still got a lot of marathons to run. Yeah,
and we're grateful for you. Morgan. Thank you so much,
Thank you so much for coming in today.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
Thank you. Guys.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Want to let everybody know you can check out Amy
and DJ on Instagram to weigh in, say whatever you
want comments away.
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Let's limit that a little, but I really.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Do hope that, I really do hope that you listen
to Morgan and you hear her story and you live
better because of it.
Speaker 3 (49:46):
And folks get your mammograms. Fellas out there, women in
your life, you need to remind them it's not just
about women. This affects us all. So men you are
in this game as well, remind them all. There is
a ninety percent survival rate within five years for people
who are diagnosed with breast cancer. So this is something.
If it's called early, if it's diagnosed, if it gets
(50:08):
to treatment, this is something you can absolutely get past
and deal with, and we need to remember that. And
we know one in eight women are diagnosed with breast cancer,
but you know what that means, seven out of eight
won't be So everybody has to be in this to
support the one in eight. And your words something you
didn't you said before we started. You said I got
(50:29):
slapped in the face with life, and that stuck with me.
I wrote that down to the top of my page.
But I love that you got slapped in the face
with life. And when that happens to you, Morgan, you
are You are the absolute And I don't say this
just because you're sitting here. I say this behind your
back all the time. You are an anomaly. You are
(50:53):
a joy like I have never seen. And if she'd
never told me you had metastatic breast cancer, you just
that chick is awesome because of the way you are,
period point blank. So I will say it here publicly.
I say it behind your back. I don't say it
to your face enough. You are an absolute joy and
an anomaly in life. And I'm so glad I got
to meet you. I'm sorry that breast cancer brought us together.
(51:15):
Breast cancer brought you two together, but you know that's
how life goes sometimes. But I just wanted to say
that to you. Here you are and I love you too, girl.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Thank you guys,
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
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