Meet the Parents

The Robachs are here! 

T.J. says, “I am nervous today. I would only compare it to the first podcast we did that aired on December 5th. I would argue this is as nervous as I have been because of our guests.” 

Amy’s parents reveal how they felt finding out that Amy was in a relationship with T.J.

And that’s just the beginning of this conversation…

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, folks, I could not decide what to say to
start this episode of Amy and TJ because I was
so concerned about making a good impression on our in
studio guest today and with that, welcome to Amy and TJ. Really,
I got nothing. I got nothing. That's how I'm starting.
I got nothing. That was Wow.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Are you nervous?

Speaker 1 (00:23):
I am nervous. I'm sitting here, my heart is pumping.
I always get a little nervous before we start any
broadcast of any kind my whole career. I used to
actually put my hand out and make sure I was
shaking a little bit, make sure I was a little nervous.
Don't every want to get too comfortable and too cool
and think you got it. I am nervous today.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Do you want to tell I? Well? I would only.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Compare it to the first podcast we did that aired
on December fifth. I would argue, this is is as
nervous as I've been because of our guests. Yes, and
I have some options, folks about what we start every podcast.
You say you start right? You always want me to start?

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
And why is that?

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Because you're a better starter than me?

Speaker 1 (01:03):
And but how so, how do you what do I
do at the beginning, you find it well.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
You usually have like a card up your sleeve, and
so you have something funny or something provocative or something
just to kind of shake me up a little bit,
to make it interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Okay, I had some things. Here's my problem. I'm serious.
I had some options. I didn't like any of them
enough because I was trying to make it perfect, because
you go too far. As some of the best advice
I ever got was don't let perfect get in the
way of good. And today I let perfect get in
the way of it, and I've got nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
Wait, but you texted me earlier this morning saying I
got it because you're always trying to figure out how
you're starting, and so so let me text me.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
I got it.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Okay, So this is what I'm going to tell you.
This is why I got it, because instead of just
starting with something, I'm going to give you the four options.
I had four options for how to start this podcast,
in which our guests are your parents and folks of you.
You can hear the sound of my voice and I
don't know if it's trembling or not, but sitting about

(02:05):
eight inches to my right is Amy Robot's mother, in
this studio, a woman that I have spent a lot
of time with over the years and have had a
good time with stated at a home all this, but
today I'm nervous. Why would that make sense?

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Because you want to impress her.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Okay, there it is, and that's good and let's go. Okay,
here am I and you all helped me. So this
was my option one. Ro So I was going to
start the podcast. It was hello, folks, making a good
impression on your partner's parents. I'm about to teach a
master class. Oh okay, okay, So I'm glad I didn't

(02:43):
go with that one. The other Okay, hello folks, they
deserve admiration for being married fifty two years. They deserve
sainthood for raising Amy Robot.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Whoa shot across the bow?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Okay, okay, I'm glad I didn't go with those Twodi Yeah, okay,
number three this was a little heavier. Hey, folks, we
worried about what the world thought about us, but all
we really wanted was the acceptance of the two people
in the studio with us.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
That's nice, that's nice.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Maybe that's the one I see. But nobody reacted emotionally
in heavenly they say, yeah, it didn't worry.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Maybe it felt like you were pandering or something.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Okay, you know what, good point? Glad I didn't go
This is the last one. Hey, folks, I haven't asked
for permission or the blessing to marry Amy Roback. But
the two people i'd need to ask are our guests today.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Wow. Yea yeah, that's one.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
And this is why I didn't use any of those.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Why don't we ask Why don't we ask the guests
next to you what they thought or which one they
would pay?

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yes, folks, we have Mama Roback and Papa Roback in
studio with us. Hey, gang, welcome. Mom and Dad are
in the building.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
None and Pop has their affections called in our house.
How are you doing today? Doing great? Are you all
nervous if it's just talking about you? No, No, we
want to talk about you. No, that's what we don't want.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
Let me ask, should we be nervous?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
No?

Speaker 1 (04:14):
I don't think I told you all before you started
that there's not a question we're going to ask that
you don't know the answers, I assure you. But I
do want to say, Congress isn't the anniversary coming up
in a couple of weeks, right, fifty two years? Fifty?
Is that right?

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Right? It'll be fifty two years the life.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
First, anybody listening is in a relationship. You hear somebody's
been together for fifty years, you always want to ask,
what is the secret? How do you do they want
us have something to help their relationship last that long?
What do you got?

Speaker 2 (04:39):
I already I always answer this question first, So I'm
gonna let you do it today.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
Oh, you're gonna let me answer? That's that's turning the tables,
all right? There is no secret. How's that? It's making
a decision every day that you are in love with
someone and you were in love with them for you've
been We've been in love for a long time, and

(05:04):
every day it's a decision. You know, I'm going to
love this person and you know we are going to
continue going through life together.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
That sounds kind of ominous that you have to redecide
every morning.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
It's positive affirmation.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Okay, I will do it again one more day, one
day more.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh you disagree, You don't think of it the same way.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
No, I don't know. Okay, how do you think I
have massive attraction to this man always have.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
What is that he's good?

Speaker 2 (05:39):
I say, the attraction motivates you to continue. Yes, absolutely,
When he turns like eighty five, it's going to be
a little tough, but I'll be eighty five too.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
So okay, now this is something she explained. This your
whole family. People who are familiar with robots see her
and great shape, and she's fifty one, but she has
great genes. You all are freaking amazing. And like you said,
you say, when he's eighty five, I mean, I've bet
what he's eighty five, he's gonna look pretty damn good.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
On the lawn. Right.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
It's still at eighty five, So how much of that
I mean for you all, it's just jeans genetics, your
family that helps people maybe understand why robot has the genes.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yet I agree. Both my parents lived until their nineties.
My dad was ninety eight, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
My mom is ninety one. I had grandparents grandfather that
was ninety eight and a grandmother ninety six, so a
lot of people lived into their nineties. So yeah, I
think we have good genes for a long lung jitivity, longevity, well, longevity.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
I look at that as TG does that scare you
because I'm not dying anytime soon. You're stuck with me
for a long long time.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
That's a good thing. And we talk about this something
I hate to turn it on a but your health
right when you talk about your breast cancer survivor and
to think that every six months, every year, you have
to get a report that says whether or not you
got another six months another year, that is and it
makes you live a certain way. But I appreciate the
health that you're in. Okay, youre as healthy as your a.
Youre's active as your This is great, all right, it's

(07:06):
good to see them. I see your family. You got
good jeens.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Yep, it's true. I mean, and my whole life. Everyone
my parents would walk into the newsroom when I was
twenty two and they were forty one, right because they're
nineteen years old within me and they were nineteen when
they had me.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
But every my whole.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Life, everyone their jaw drops when they see my parents
because a they are young, but they also look really
young and good for their age.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
So it's like a combo.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
But everyone Dad, how many people thought we were married
when we would like go somewhere together. It was so embarrassing.
We had the last same last name. We would go
to a hotel together a couple of times and we'd say,
can we get the two you know, the two twin beds,
and they would look at us.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
My dad's like, this is my daughter, and nobody would believe. Oh,
please please stop saying that.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
And I've heard that a lot. But until I had
the picture of you, it might have been your wedding day,
but you will. It is unbelievable. You should post that picture.

Speaker 4 (08:04):
I will to see because on the wedding when I
was twenty three years old, Dad, you were forty two.
Everyone do you remember when we were getting ready, they
all thought you were the groom.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
They all thought you were the groom and that was
so weird.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
But it was even more weird for me.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Was a compliment, though, Has it always been a compliment
that you've gotten?

Speaker 5 (08:23):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Wow, you're only I.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Don't know, you know. I think I think when you're
that age, you know, it's not necessarily a compliment because
you're trying to be taken serious. And I think sometimes
people look at you as being young and maybe not
as experienced as you are, So it wasn't always an advantage.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
But for your marriage, for your wife absolutely absolutely? What
was did you all you have a Eric as how
what's about your brother?

Speaker 4 (09:01):
He's twenty months younger than me? So he is gush?
Is he about to turn fifty this year?

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Okay, yes, he's turning fifty in October forty nine? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
Tell were there easy and obvious distinctions when you had
these You had these two kids, did you see them?
They were going to be going two different directions? Could
you tell? From very early on they were just different?

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Absolutely?

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Really?

Speaker 2 (09:23):
I mean Amy was go, go, go, go go, never
stop banging on the door, like I want out of
this cage that I'm in. And Eric was more you know,
he'd have my skirt if we went to the shopping
because he was like, look at all these people. Amy.
Here's what Amy would do. Walk into a store. Amy
had learned a lesson that if you make a beeline

(09:45):
for the customer service and you say I'm lost, they
give you like, you know, candy. So I would even say,
watch her because she's going to go running up there,
and before when you bam, you're up there the lollipop
smiling at us. And then you'd hear the announcement. Yes,
there's a loss of good What age was this? Oh,

(10:05):
you were like.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Three, that's when we first moved to Blacksburg that you
started doing it. Yeah, you would just take off. You
were probably two and a half three years old and boom,
you were right to the customer service counter asking, uh
for someone to call your parents because you were lost,
and they'd give you a lollipop and you were happy.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
That is as a that's a sociopath. I mean, what
is what? How are you at two and three? You
possess enough to manipulate a system that way at two
or three.

Speaker 4 (10:38):
I was motivated by sugar jeez and attention, because I'm
sure that they all were like, oh, poor little girl,
where's your mommy and daddy.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
I'm guessing I don't know. I have no memory of this,
So what would you it?

Speaker 1 (10:49):
Was it attention?

Speaker 2 (10:50):
I would say number two first was the lollipop. Number
two was she was just had a little bit of
a flair for the dramatic. So she she did like
to kind of be in the spot like, oh wow,
I never did he was pulled.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
We're peeling this thing back layer.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh no, we should get aimed to do some of
her cute, little cute little songs and dances that we
taught you. Yeah, no, thank you. I'm sure there's a
video somewhere. The girls are trying to pull them up
and show them to TJ. The other day. I was like,
please stop, please stop pageant stuff. Yes, they were trying to.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
She is online, yes, I mean, I'm not going to
post a link, please don't.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
But it is googleable, and my daughters, I think, don't
let I don't even think they let two weeks go
by without all of a sudden, they'll just play it
and they'll.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Start laughing because they'll know that I get said. I'm like,
please turn that on now. Yes, even things you did.

Speaker 4 (11:45):
Before the internet now can live forever online. And I
found this out the hard way.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
But who is she more like between you two?

Speaker 3 (11:51):
Would you say, Oh, that's a good question. There's definitely
she's definitely a combination of the two of us. I mean,
her musical talent and her artistic talent. Her creative talent
comes from her mother, not from me, that's for sure.
I think maybe her wunderlust attitude comes from me. I mean,

(12:14):
I traveled a lot for work over the years, and
I think Amy you know has kind of had that
same sense of adventure by going out, but you know,
from but from a creative side. It's totally on her
mom's side.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Is that right?

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yes? I agree, yeah, dad.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
When Dad traveled around the world always when I was
growing up. So I the one thing, you know, some
people have boxes of memorabilia. I have a shoebox, and
my shoebox memorabilia of my childhood consists of my gymnastics
medals and the stickers and money that my dad would
come back from around the world. So we have like
currency from all the different countries he would go to,
and I put them in baggies and I labeled them,

(12:52):
and I have all the like little stickers you could
get at the airport, you know that that you come
back and so that's my memorabilia.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Why are you looking like that?

Speaker 1 (13:01):
No, I cannot believe how much I'm learning about you.
And No, I know a lot about you, and I'm
probably know you better than by anybody outside of these
two and your daughters. I would probably argue I did
not know about the customer service thing that is blowing
my mind right now? Does it ring true about you?
The candy know the attention. Yes, the flare for the dramatic, yes, yes,

(13:27):
so lutely. But does she get that from either one
of you? The flair for the dramatic.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
I think guilty is charged. I was thinking you were
going to own that.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, but do you want her and Mama Robot, I
hear this from you. I think the time, or at
least she passes it along, that that wanderlust, the travel,
the venture and whatnot. You would like for her to
sometimes just fit the hell down stop for a second.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Yeah, A thousand times. Yes, yeah. When she's climbing and
then she send me videos or climb on the very
edge of a mountain that's just death below and she's
just walking along on like a two inch platform. I
don't want to see that, and I don't even want to.
I was secured by the way with ropes, just so
you know, I didn't know that. Yes I was. I

(14:14):
was tethered to a guide who knew better than me
to yes.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
So her point remains, you're still hanging off the side
of a mountain with dental floss essentially, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
I know, and I have slowed down.

Speaker 4 (14:28):
It was It was not something that I chose, but
I know that that's part of all of what's happened
in the last year and a half that I know
you have I think expressed me that that's one one
of the good things that's happened that I've I've settled down,
I've been still, and I was forced to like and
and now I'm in a pattern where I'm with the

(14:49):
person who I want to be with. I'm not searching
as much. I think I was always searching for something.
And it's not that I don't still have that adventurous spirit.
I absolutely do, but I do feel very different about
how I approach what fun is, what excitement is. I
think really honestly, watching a movie with him on the

(15:10):
couch is like as exciting as it gets. And that's
where I am right now. And it's a very different
place than I was before.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Right. Yeah, before she never would stop. I mean, if
we would come to visit her, it's like, I'm exhausted
after two days because we're just you know, running everywhere
in the city. But I've noticed, Ye, you definitely stopped
that slowing down.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
But did you all over the years see it as her? Yeah,
she has that sense of adventure you talked about Papa Rovak,
But did you all get a sense that there was
something else to it than just adventure, That she was
ripping and running and moving and I don't want to
say running from something, but there was something else motivating

(15:50):
her to be adventurous.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yeah, I think so. I mean, you know, especially when
you can look at things and you know retrospect that
she was definitely looking for outlets that would be almost
distractions from maybe what was going on, you know, inner life.
So I think those adventures. Sure, they some of them

(16:14):
were work related and you enjoyed them, but some of
them were I think escapism to an extent. So yeah,
we definitely saw that.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, no, that's all true.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
And I think, like what you're saying is in retrospect,
when you're doing it, you don't realize why you're doing it.
You just know you need to do it, like you
feel almost a compulsion to do it, because you need
to constantly not be where you are, to not actually.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Let anything that's a problem.

Speaker 4 (16:44):
You don't have to deal with it if you just
distract yourself with other things. And I think funny enough,
with cancer, it almost it it put everything I think
on hyper speed. It went into like it's almost like
it was like that I already had and then put
steroids you know, onto it, and then all of a sudden,
now I'm running out of time.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
I'm running out of time.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
And so that all I think made for the last
decade a very wild, busy, NonStop life.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
It always felt like you were running away from something,
not running towards something. So I just I knew what
you were doing, but I couldn't tell you. You had to
figure it out yourself.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Advise because a lot of parents listening. How do you
sit by? How difficult is it to sit by? How
do you comfort or counsel a child when you season
zero at that point an adult and a strong one,
a strong minded one. How do you if you sit
back and that you really think somebody's making mistake or
doing something wrong? Or how do you support without also

(17:57):
ruining the relationship by saying no, you shouldn't be doing that,
Or how do you strike that balance? Say somebody?

Speaker 3 (18:02):
Well, saying no to amy never worked. We have some
stories we could tell, but no, I think you.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
Should tell the door.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
We'll get to the door. Well, yeah, no, I think
that the way, at least the way that I think
we approached it was by continuing to love her and
to let her know that we loved her, and then
also by setting an example in the way that we
conduct ourselves and the way that we live our lives,

(18:39):
and that to me. And then we participated in a
lot of these adventures Dad climbed, So we did things
together that I believe demonstrates, you know, the way that
you feel and the way that we modeled our lives
or lived our lives. We were hoping would be an example,

(19:02):
you know, and that the light bulb will come on
at some point.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
But it's kind of not fair because I found we
found each other when we were seventeen, and so we
didn't want to judge you because that's not ours, not
our job anyway. But in private where we disappointed that
your life was kind of crazy, and yeah, we were disappointed,
but only for you, not for ourselves. So we just

(19:29):
love Amy very very much. So we just loved her.
We tried to love her. I don't know if you
always felt like we were loving you, but that's what
we were trying to do. I always, I always felt
loved always, and I knew that you didn't love the
way I was operating, but I knew you loved me, yes, always, always, always.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Well, how did you deal with robes? Then? Right, they
loved you, but there was some point, I mean I
deal with with my parents and okay, your parents always
so proud of you, Yes, we want to hold you up.
But then when things kind of crumblow or you make mistakes,
you're so worried about disappointing your parents.

Speaker 4 (20:14):
Oh my god, Yes, that's such a huge part of it.
And like, especially with what happened to you and a
half ago, the crazy thing is all of everything, everything
happened on the day my mom and dad we talked
about this came to New York. So that was like
such a just a gut punch. It was already crazy

(20:38):
to have the tabloids saying what they were saying, but
it all broke on the day my mom and dad
were flying to New York, previously scheduled, previously scheduled, they
were already here, going to a Christmas party, one of
my dad's work events, and so yes, to have them see,
like not just hear how it was going or read
what was happening, but to actually be in this city
when everything all went to hell and you all were

(21:00):
there when the paparazzi descended on my apartment and saw
everything firsthand. And I hated that for you, that you
got caught up in this just worst case scenario situation
and you were there to witness it all, because I
could only imagine, as painful as it was for me,
how hard it would be if it were my daughters
going through that. Like to have it happen to you

(21:20):
is one thing. To have it happen to your child,
it's a whole other thing. When you're a parent, you
understand that. So I was actually then feeling awful for
my daughters and for my parents. While this was all happening.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
We were fine. We were just worried about you and
what's the best way to show you that we loved you?
And it took us a while to think through how
do we show her we love her without scolding her
saying I told you you shouldn't have done this or
done that. Am you knows what I'm talking about?

Speaker 5 (21:50):
I told you so, so, oh you know it's past now,
do you all actually and she actually expressed that to you,
or I would kind of imagine you all ever looked
at her at any point.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
In the past year and a half and said, I
told you so, right, And that's no, that's not is
you always lane to do?

Speaker 2 (22:10):
We would never say that. I would never say that
to Amy.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
No, no, but you can see it in our eyes.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
No, Actually, it's funny. It's funny.

Speaker 4 (22:18):
I've gone this isn't the first miss Like, I don't
even want to say mistake. I would just you know,
I hate to say the end of a marriage is
a mistake.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
It isn't always a mistake.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
In fact, sometimes it's what the right thing is to
do and you learn a lot through it. Funny enough,
with everything that's happened in the last two years, I've
never felt more supported by the two of you than
I was this past year and a half, more so
than any other moment in my life.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
You know what she did, both of you all. She
did say this several times. She's her relationship with her
parents is the best she can remember it in a
long time. She has. She has said that several times
in the past year and a half. That is true.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
Absolutely, Yes, I felt the love, I felt the support,
and I didn't feel judged at all.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
Do some get lucky? You said you all found each
other at seventeen did you all just get lucky and
other people don't get that lucky and certainly not that early.
Or is it something more about the way you all
are built that you all made a decision that you
all are going to be together these fifty two years
most of us are looking at like, oh, I found
the one or looking for the one and sold me

(23:23):
all this kind of stuff.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
Well, I mean, I guess you could say we were lucky.
It's kind of by chance that we met. Know, we
met at church, and actually we've known each other since
we were what twelve years old, and we're both from
big Catholic families, and so Jones family would sit on
one side of the church with her eight brothers and sisters,

(23:49):
and then I would sit on the other side with
my five brothers and sisters. And over time, you know,
we went to CCD, so we were going to religious education,
and we got to know each other. We went to
different high schools, different junior highs in different high schools,
so we didn't see each other every day, and we

(24:11):
over time, you know, noticed each other. And I always
glancing over at her with her cute little cheerleading outfit on,
you know, and and uh, you know, I asked her
out on a date. And I'll tell you when I
first called for the first date. I dialed her number.
I was downstairs with my one of my friends, and

(24:34):
he's kind of giggling while I'm doing this, and I said, Hi, Joan,
this is Mike, and the answer comes back, Mike, who.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
I knew lots of Mikes I did. I said, which
mic are you? Oh no, But when you told me,
I was like, that's the mic that I would want
to hear. And the rest is history.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
Yes, I mean the first date. My I couldn't drive yet,
so I was not quite yet. Oh yeah, that was
I was not quite yet sixteen, so I didn't have
a driver's license. So my dad had to drive us over,
pick you up, and take us to a dance at
the high school, and then take us home and then
take take me home. So it was not exactly, you know,

(25:21):
the way you might envision a first date with your
dad driving, you know.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
No kiss at the front door, no exactly, you know.

Speaker 4 (25:28):
I always remember some of the sweet stories I heard,
and I think maybe I took for granted how special
you all were from the very beginning, because it just
kind of when you see that your whole life. I
was raised with a lot of love, and I saw
you all. Your relationship was always remarkable to me. My
friends and I would be grossed out at your public
displays of affection.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
When I was in high school, it was so embarrassed.
I was like, oh, my gosh, keep your hands off
each other. Oh, it was so I think that's why
part of the reason why I said I didn't like PDA,
because I was like, ew. But anyway, I can look
at it now and say, oh, yeah, you guys would
chase each other around the house, giggling and laughing, and
when you were a nice girls, all the time you'd
be kissing. Oh it's awesome now. At the time, it

(26:11):
did not seem awesome, But it's incredible now, especially with
all the life I've lived. I'm blown away by it.
But I remember hearing these stories about Dad. He had
a very strict father.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
My grandpa was a tough man, and he would get
in trouble for whatever reason, and he would lose car privileges,
and I remember dad Mom telling me or Dad explaining
that he would have to run over the bridge separating
your two towns and run how many.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Miles was it Dad.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
It was about three and a half to.

Speaker 4 (26:40):
See mom and then run back to That was the
way they could see each other if he was in trouble.
But I remember Mom kind of saying the same thing
to me. She said, find a guy who will run
three and a half miles to see you, to be
with you, no matter what. Like if a man likes you,
if you're with the right person, he will walk on
water to get to you.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
And that's when my mom fell in love with him.
When she would see him run over and she was like,
go get him some water, get his shirt off and
put in the dry I mean, it's just.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah, you were no, no, you were literally making a
three mile run to her. You didn't walk it.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
No, No, I ran, I ran, No I ran.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
And to remind folk, you ran your first marathon at
what age?

Speaker 3 (27:19):
What's fifty four?

Speaker 4 (27:21):
It's pretty cool, right, Dad and I were talking about
this today because or last night, because I was thinking like, oh,
I'm kind of I don't know how many more marathons
I have in me, and my dad said, remember I
ran my first marathon at fifty four, and.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Your last one, Berlin was what you were at sixty nine.
That's amazing.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
That's incredible.

Speaker 4 (27:38):
That was a really really cool way to if you
don't really run anymore, right, Dad.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
Not much. I just had my right hip replaced about
two months ago.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
There he goes.

Speaker 4 (27:48):
So it's not a it's not a it's not a
sport or a passion. You can continue for the rest
of your life. Unfortunately for most people.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
I think I'll find a way. He's going to get
the other one done, and then I suspect he's going
to be out the door.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Well funny, no marathons though, Well.

Speaker 4 (28:00):
Fun story though, Dad, because you came to cheer me
on the first New York City It's the first marathon
I ever ran, was the New York City Marathon, and you,
I think, got a little bit of the running bug
back in you, and you went and got your knees replaced, right,
so that you could then run in Berlin?

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Is am I wrong?

Speaker 3 (28:14):
I didn't get my knees replaced. I had meniscus surgery.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
Okay, sorry, that was a little bit more dramatic. See
I am dramatic. But you had a surgery because you
were remotivated to run again. And then I convinced you, well, if.

Speaker 3 (28:29):
You remember after that marathon. We went down to that
beer hall and so yes, yes, and everybody was, you know, going,
m poppa, um poppa, Let's run Berlin, Let's run Berlin.
And I inadvertently said, okay.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
So that's one of the reasons why I love some
liquid courage every now and then.

Speaker 4 (28:46):
Yes, that was at a Houston hall. Yes, I remember that,
and we made the plan to Berlin. The pandemic happened,
so we had to wait a year, but I was
I remember just being so impressed. And even now as
I'm gosh, I'm fifty one, but think about sixty nine.
If I want to complain about aching this or that,
I think about what you did in Berlin.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
It's remarkable.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
How is the hip now? You feel better? All good?

Speaker 3 (29:10):
And the right hip, which has been replaced, has no
pain at all, and the left hip will be replaced soon.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
He's got like sixteen years you will have sixteen year
old hips. And he says like, I feel like I'm.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
A kid, so sixteen, which I'm sure you appreciate that
he has sixteen year old hips.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
I would like to get sixteen year old. Oh and mom,
I know your recovery. How are you doing? Because you
also took You took a nasty fall. Yeah. I was
the worst pain that I've ever been in my life,

(29:52):
for several reasons that I won't get into now. I
fell while I was standing straight up, and I fell
and hit my shoulder and my head, and as soon
as I did, I thought I did something really bad here.
So I had to crawl to the back door because
she's outside and I'm just yelling help. That's when you

(30:12):
need the I've fallen and I can't. But we talked
about it. I can't believe you don't have one of
those moms you guys are riding to age. Yeah, exactly.
So Yeah, So he came in and I remember he
was saying, Okay, let's get the well, I'll help you
into the car or go to the midge room, and
I just said ambulance, ambulance, that's all. I kept repeating it.

(30:33):
And then when they came in, I was like pain relievers.
So they get they. I didn't realize they could do it,
but they did.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
Have you always as Robot always been, it is it.
I don't think your accident prone, but she's always ends
up in the hospital for some reason. But it's always
a big reare. It's not like I nick the finger.

Speaker 4 (30:52):
It's like I have cancer, cancer, or I have a terotoma.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Something serious. He always had surgery and in and out
and had issue when she was a little girl.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
No, she didn't have any, but as she got older.
But yeah, when when when you talk about the time
that you called Eric to tell him that you had
a tarat tellman response to her, Yes, So, by the way,
I don't think I was ever in the hospital before
I had a baby, just so you know. So I
wasn't accident. Pro it's their fault. Yes, they started a
whole Yes, you're right. We can't get into that later.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
But you're right, it's always the kid's fault, right.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
So I my brother's a doctor, and I found out
that I had They told me I had a tarotoma.
I had to have surgery, and I didn't know what
it was. Did we have Google back then, No, I
don't think so. So I called Eric and he started
laughing so hard. I was like, why are you laughing.
He's like, because when you go to medical school, this
is the one thing that is the grossest, nastiest, weirdest

(31:49):
tumor you can possibly have. And he was just he could.
He was saying this through tears of laughter as.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
A brother would and does he thought it was the
funniest thing, and I just I was like, wait, but like,
this isn't that unusual?

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Where He's like, no, it's it actually is really rare.
And I said, well, what is so awful about this tumor?
And he could barely get it out. It has like
teeth and eyeballs and hair like it's like warped DNA
that's gonna ride. It's growing inside of you, And he
could barely speak.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
He was like, you should see our producer's face in
the room. You're describing this. Yeah, and you if you
know I sing the move horror movie malignant have you?

Speaker 4 (32:28):
But the thing is this one was growing on a
main vein on my ovary, and so they were worried.
It was growing rapidly, so if it twisted, that was
the concern. It can actually cut off your blood supply
and you can drop dead.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
So I don't you know what. So here's the deal.
I was freaked out. What's my brother told me stop
Mike co Ancher. At the time, I was at MSNBC
and I happened to be pregnant with Anna at the
same time, so we had to wait like six months
before I could get this. They had to wait. They didn't.

Speaker 4 (32:53):
They had to measure it every three weeks because if
it got big enough, they were going to have to
go in for surgery while I was pregnant, which is dangerous.
So they wanted to wait, obviously until I had the baby.
So the whole time both of these things were growing
inside of me, and my co anchor, Randy Meyer said,
he named him Mobley.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
He goes, how's Mobley doing? And I was like, can
you stop? So I had told Annelie she had.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
An evil twin brother growing next to her. No, it's
all funny, but it's I asked.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
The doctor when they took it out, did you see it?
I didn't want to. Eric ask me to have them
take it, and he'd like to put it in a jar.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
It.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
I was so freaked out. I didn't want to look.
They told me they assured me and didn't have teeth.
They were lying, honey. It was like, just tell me
it didn't have teeth. No, I didn't want to see it.
I was freaked out. We were planning for another grandchild.
I don't know anyone else who said to Tara Tonema
either so it's so embarrassing. Yes, I know when I

(33:44):
go into NYU for you know, you go in for
the checkps. I think I've had several doctors say, wow,
you are very interesting. You have a very interesting life.
You've had a lot of procedures that are very unusual
now for you all.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Did you all think, and still sitting here, think that
so much of the issue, so many of the issues
she's had medically over the years were absolutely related to
the way she was living, how she was working, the
stress she was under. Do you think those two things
are related?

Speaker 2 (34:13):
We did, but specific things like a teratoma or your heart,
your heart problem I I would contribute to. But I
didn't know it made sense that it was your extremely
busy life, you know, migranine headaches, yes, and cancer, unhappiness
and cancer and then yeah, I'm getting there. There's a

(34:33):
lot to go through. No, but some of the things,
you know, you couldn't help. I mean, but maybe your
heart procedure could have sure been exacerbated by stress. But no,
I just we always were there.

Speaker 4 (34:50):
Well, you always said to me, Amy, slow down. You
said that to me all the time, And I was
like never going to happen. Look at me now, Yeah,
I just I couldn't sit still.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
But you're part of the You had to sit still
for a year.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Wait, we had we had to sit still for a year.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
But now you are you? Are you ready to get
to be crazy again? I got it crazy you or adventurous,
but as there some part about you that you now
feel settled or calm in some way, because anytime you
say it to me, like oh, well she's with Mina,
I don't want that part of you to be gone
just because you're in a relationship with me.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
You've said that a couple of times, you know, like
I've joked like I missed some hiking. But it's really
not the end of the world.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
The truth is, it's crazy that this dramatic, unthinkable situation
was the catalyst for me to actually find peace, which
seems strange and maybe.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
The opposite of what you think would happen. But I'm
feeling peace. I feel joy in a different way.

Speaker 4 (35:50):
It's not because I'm being stimulated or I'm I'm I'm
attaining or achieving something. See, I think a lot of
it was all about what I can climb that mountain,
I can, and I love crossing finish line, but the
joy came from accomplishment and the getting there, like getting
the goal, created the distraction from dealing with my life.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
So yes, we were forced.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
I was forced to sit and be quiet and think
about my choices, how I've acted, how I operate, and
realized that none of it was working. And I've been
doing and I'll continue, hopefully for the rest of my
life to do that deep searching and realize that joy
comes from within, it doesn't come from outside sources. And

(36:37):
that's what I think I was always trying to avoid
and I'm still working on it.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
But being with the right person absolutely creates a balance,
and it gives you that safety. When you feel safe,
you can relax, and I don't think I ever felt
that way before. Now, Yeah, I totally agree. Safety to
me is one of them. I've got a lot of them,

(37:02):
But one of the reasons that I love being with
Mike is I've always felt safe with them, and I
think that's I've talked to other women about it, and
almost at the top two or three things that they say,
why why they were in a relationship or married because
they feel safe. Now, yeah, emotionally safe.

Speaker 4 (37:21):
Yeah, I don't think I ever really realized how important
that was. I always felt like I and look, I'm
all about It's got to come from me. I'm the
one who has to be whole. I'm the one who
has to create my own balance in my life. But
the dynamics you have with people absolutely affects your inner
psyche in a lot of ways, and to say that

(37:42):
it doesn't is not being truthful.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
It absolutely does.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
So, yes, we can do our own work, but who
we surround ourselves with is very important.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
And I want to go back out. I don't think
I've actually asked you all in private this, So.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Now you're gonna do it in bubble?

Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah, I guess so. But I say that because we
to be honest. Once we get together and we hang out,
we usually like to talk about other stuff. We don't
want to go back and talk about the dark days,
if you will. But going back to November thirtieth of
twenty twenty two, when that article came out, you all
were sitting in a different position from the public in
that you all at least had a handle on You

(38:16):
knew divorce was happening. You all had known that for months. Yes,
at this point, so you all were already getting adjusted
to the idea, she's going to be going through divorce,
They're going to be changes coming.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah, we were totally adjusted to that one.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
Okay, so let me ask let me start with that first,
just the idea and the thought your reaction when knowing
your daughter again you feel bad for her, what was
going to be going through another divorce? Now, initially, how
did you all take that news?

Speaker 3 (38:44):
You mean news of the divorce or the divorce.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yeah, so that was in summer that twenty twenty.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
That that did not bother us at all. I mean
we had reconciled ourselves and we had told Amy that
we totally supported her in leaving that marriage, So that
was not an issue at all for us.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
So then we the November thirtieth, the article comes out
that there that we were exposed that we were in
a relationship. Now, how did you all and just tell
me how that initial reaction. Well, there was a lot
of ways to go with that, because you could have
been upset that what was happening to her publicly, upset
about work, or upset that she would put herself in

(39:25):
a position to be dating her co anker. So what
was you all's reaction.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
To that that it? I mean, for me, it was,
this is way too fast. You know, we would have
much preferred that the divorce has been made known publicly
and been finalized, you know, before you all became a couple. Yeah,
I mean that would have been our preference.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
It was it was ours too, by the.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Way, but we were shocked. We were in the car
drive almost at the airport and Amy sent us a link.
Did you know read this before you come, or something
to that effect. I just wanted you to hear it
from me first before someone else texted you or you
just happened to see it. I wanted to make sure
you knew I was letting you know what was going on.
Thank you. I read it aloud, and neither want of

(40:13):
us said anything, just like I got nothing. And then
we got in the plane, said nothing, got back checked
at the hotel, said nothing, which is really rare. Yeah,
because I think both of us were thinking, and we're
also pretty strong Catholics, so we were also praying about
how do we handle this right so that we don't

(40:36):
hurt Amy's feelings and we don't hurt her. That was
our number one goal, and so we took her time
before we even approached. You invited us for dinner and
we said not tonight.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
It scared me because normally you all have opinions right away,
and so to not hear from you and to have
you pass on dinner, I was like, I mean, I
was panicked that night.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
Well, we had an opinion.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
You are trying to.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
We we were praying about, you know, how do we
best communicate this and how can we put ourselves in
a position to show you our love and our support,
but do it in a meaningful.

Speaker 4 (41:15):
Way, And you did because so yes that night. I
woke up the next morning and I remember, Mom, you
sent an incredibly thoughtful text, and I remember just feeling
my whole body just relaxed. And from that moment on,
I know you all prayed that night and you took
your time, which is actually something that I need to
always do better at, because to react verbally to how

(41:37):
you're feeling emotionally is usually not.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Ever a good thing. And when you can.

Speaker 4 (41:42):
Give yourself a beat where you pray, meditate, whatever it
is you do, just to really take your time to
choose your words and to think about what your.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Intent is, what you want. I'm not great at that,
but you all did that that night, and we're old, honey,
you're a lot older than you are, so not that
much just nineteen year Ye, that's true. But when you
did respond, it was and I don't like this word,
but it was perfect. It was exactly what I needed
to hear.

Speaker 4 (42:09):
And then from that moment on you came over, because
I went to work that day and you came over,
and you were the two of you were my rocks
from that moment on, and I remember being so upset
that you were in town when this was all happening.
And then I remember the next day thinking, thank God
they were here when all of this was happening. So

(42:30):
that was everything. And so I actually, just hearing you
retell that story, it makes me. I'm constantly trying to
remind myself be better at not immediately.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
Responding take a beat. Teacher's really good at that, I
will say, but it's you know, it's not my instinct,
but it's the right thing to do, right and for
us to say, you know what, we really didn't talk
about it the whole first day or night because it's
just like we just didn't know what to say. To you,
even to each other. Yeah, so both said let's pray

(43:00):
about it and see what happens, and see what. And
then the next day I got Mike out of a
meeting and said, guess what, I know what we should
say now, And yeah, it's just like answer.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
So I think you had a divine revelation. I do too,
you know, I truly do believe that. Yeah, it was
a divine revelation that you had that you told me about.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Did you say you text a link to them?

Speaker 2 (43:28):
I think I think I wanted them to read it
because I knew, but you.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Your first thing was, hey, I need to tell you something.
Our heads up, I need to call it. You just
sent the link.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
Well, they were on the plane. I couldn't call them.
We're in the car. Oh but you were super busy,
you were.

Speaker 4 (43:40):
I think we were dealing with ABC, we were dealing
with PR, we were dealing with lawyers, we were dealing with.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
I can, but I can't imagine your parents getting a
message say hey, read this and then no kind of
follow up or no.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
You need to read this before you land in New York.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Oh she did that dramatic thing.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
Oh well, she also went doune them dumb.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Oh my god, you did this to me the other
day on the phone.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
I do, I get.

Speaker 4 (44:10):
I have some very visceral emotional reactions sometimes to things
that don't necessarily fit what's actually happening.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
In this case, it was warrants it.

Speaker 1 (44:19):
I did not know that they were alerted just by
a link versus, Hey, mom and Dad need to tell
you something blah blah blah bla blah blah blah. And
here's the link that just came out. You just hear
the link, read this before you land.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
I mean, I did, I give you a warning saying
something something off us happened and I need you to
read this before you come.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
So it was like, oh, no, you know so yeah, yeah.
My dad always told us to when we were growing up.
Do not react.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
Act.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
Don't react to somebody. Act, make a decision on how
you want to respond to somebody, and you do the acting.
And that always kind of stuck with us. By the way,
I'm sorry I gave you all the dramatic flare because
it came from me, and everything you're saying of me,
just just ask does it get better? Mom? Does it
get better when you get older? Do you learn how

(45:06):
to control and curb that. I don't know, do you
really want to?

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Huh? So you're at this point?

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Keeps it interesting?

Speaker 1 (45:14):
And did you all want like you said, Buffo Rovoc,
you were I thought it was too fast and all
that makes sense. But were you surprised that she was
dating me? Not as a co anchor, but okay, I

(45:37):
could understand. Did you see were you totally shocked that
the two of us would end up dating?

Speaker 3 (45:43):
Well, we could see your on camera chemistry, you know,
and we had spent enough time with you all that
you know, we knew that you guys were in sync
in a lot of ways. I think the romantic part
was a little bit of a shock. I mean I
didn't see it coming. And maybe it's just me. I
mean I'm old and I don't see that well all

(46:06):
the time, so you know, but it was it was,
I think at the time surprising, but again one of
those things when you take a step back and you
think about it, and you look at your your on
camera chemistry and you know, the time we spent with you,
it it wasn't surprising after the thought about.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
It, and also what you've been going through Amy, so
that also was like Yep, it all fit. So yes,
Mom and Dad knew.

Speaker 4 (46:36):
I mean, look, there are only a few people we've
talked about this who knew what was happening in my
private life, and you all were had front row seats.
And so I would say, Nikki and the two of you,
my best friend NICKI, who's been on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Had front row seats in a way that no one
else did. I was very good at putting out a
certain image and a certain front, which I've talked about,
which you know, I it's an awful way to live
because you not living your truth and you're projecting or
presenting what you wish was the case versus what actually
is the case, or protecting yourself in some way. Yeah,

(47:09):
and it's it's ego.

Speaker 4 (47:10):
It's a lot of things, you know. It's not like
all altruistic or something. I mean it definitely you don't.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
I don't want people to know my mess. I don't
want people to know. I want people to think things
are good.

Speaker 4 (47:18):
But you all did have a front row seat for
a very long time, and so you were very supportive
about my decisions. I just didn't let you in on
what was happening and developing between TEAJ and me. But Mom,
you even said, you know, you always saw our friendship,
and I know you always spoke and you guys always
spoke highly of it. You all loved watching us on

(47:39):
television together and chemistry. We would go out to lunch
with you, and we definitely spent time with you just
as friends before any of this all happened.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
So I don't know.

Speaker 4 (47:49):
I mean, I know you all have had, like I said,
a real insight into my life and who I am
and the right person for me. I don't know if
you ever even thought about who that would be or
what that person would look like or be like or
seem like.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
What do you like?

Speaker 4 (48:05):
And you haven't spent a ton of time with us.
It's a couple of but work coming up on our
two years here, Yeah, gift time t J. I was
a hint, but yeah, in August it'll be you know,
end of August will be two years since we've been
You know that we made a decision to have a relationship,
and we did make that decision.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
So I mean, what do you see? What do you think?
How do you let me ask you this? How do
you think I am now? How have I changed? And
how would you describe me. Now, that's easy. You're so
much more settled. You're also so much more happy. I mean,
you're just happy. I haven't seen you happy in quite

(48:47):
a while. So, yeah, you're a happy person. You have
a glow about This sounds corny, but you do. And
when you talk. You have fewer friends, but the friends
you have are the friends you know, and the right
ones when you go through something like that. But yeah,
you're just more carefree, happy, You're giggly. You're in love.

(49:09):
I can see it.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
So do you remember saying that was at your birthday?
There was a birthday in August last summer.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
Then it was like right about a year.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
We were down in Athens. You after the dinner we
had down there, it was outside when I heard you say,
he said, I got my Ami back. You said that
I got my Amy back. And I didn't fully comprehend
what that meant at the time, but you you went
on and were speaking about how she's a different type
of joy from her child, your child. You talked about

(49:40):
her in that way that night. I'll never forget that.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Now you're gonna make me cry. We've got tissues. I've
already dabbled, no I'm sure I said that because that's
exactly how I felt, because we lost you for a while.
I mean, we'd stay in touch, but it was you
were very guarded and we could feel it. So yeah,
I was so lovely to have our daughter back.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
Yeah. There's a sense of freedom, I think, and a
sense of contentment that you didn't have before. It seemed like,
and we talked about this earlier, always seemed to be
searching for something, you know, and maybe that was going
places and searching for something. Well, you know, it seemed
to us that you found it, Yeah, and that that

(50:26):
contentment and that joy was coming back, you know, to
when you were younger.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
It's one of those amazing things when I've always seen
your relationship and it's not perfect at all. Oh it is,
It's perfect. Come on, But I've always seen this, like
like you all are a team, and I've always wanted
a teammate, and I've always seen that, like through all
the tough times, you guys stick together. Even when Eric

(50:54):
and I would try to divide and conquer, like we
wanted to get what we wanted, it never worked.

Speaker 4 (50:58):
You guys were rock solid. It wasn't you know, go
ask your mom. Or ask your dad, it was did
your mom? What did your mom say? What did your
dad say? And then you always backed each other up,
even if you disagreed about it and talked about it behind,
you know, closed doors, in front of.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Us, you were a solid front. And I think maybe
I was so spoiled or like always wanted that and
could never Like it's hard to find a teammate, it's
hard to find someone who you can especially when you've
got kids and crazy lives, like to not have that
person who you can count on to back you up.
I think that I saw that in you.

Speaker 4 (51:30):
Two, and talk about safety, that's part of it, right,
knowing you've got that person who's going to back you up.
So interestingly, like being with TJ as his friend, but
being his co anchor and going around the world and
traveling and really doing complicated, stressful things with him and
knowing he had my back always and I had his
on the air like we're talking just professionally speaking, it
built something that I saw in you were like, this

(51:52):
is the person who I can count on, who isn't
going to throw me under the bus, who isn't going to,
you know, do anything to undermine me or us, and
so I did. I always recognize that in you, and
I think that is one of the things I was
searching for. And I filled up my life with lots
of friends and lots of parties and lots of and

(52:12):
I do love to dance, and I do love music,
and I do love all. It's nothing that I wasn't
not being myself, but I was dad. I was searching
or not. Maybe I couldn't find a person, but I
was trying to find people right where I could have
a tribe, where I could have that support.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
I was looking for that and I found it.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
What was that like? Is it different for a dad
than a mom watching your You're hearing her say it now,
but when you watch your daughter go through that or
express it now, it's like Dads, I mean, I got girls,
little girls. As it means eleven that you always feel
like some kind of a protector.

Speaker 3 (52:46):
Well yeah, I mean I think that's kind of a
natural feeling. But I would say that the philosophy we
had in raising both of our kids was to prepare
them to go out in life on their own and
providing that foundation and that moral compass, if you will,
you know, to go out and to live your life

(53:09):
and not to be dependent, but to know that we're there,
we love them, and to be supportive but not to enable.
So it's very difficult when things like that happened and
you know you don't have any control, And that's part

(53:31):
of being a parent is being able to let go
of that control but still try to have influence in
the way that you live your life and the way
that you know. We've lived our lives together as an example, and.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
I think if you look at both your parents, your
parents and my parents raise us like that. Very there
were so many kids. I don't think my parents had
a choice, but it was we knew what to do.
We knew what you were supposed to do. We need
to get it first of all, in turn sixteen, you
need to get a job. So there were certain expectations

(54:07):
that were there in my family, my parents, and in
Mike's parents, and we were raised pretty much the same way.
So I think you just kind of go on autopilot,
and that's where you turn to your examples in life.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Something she said to me, she said, you, oh, were
always and correct me if I'm wrong here. But growing
up they made clear that they put themselves in their
relationship first, like you are kids, yes, but it was
something that was the way we put it that this relationship,
our marriage is what's first, and you kids are yes.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
I mean I think they kind of said that, like,
you know, we love you and we will always love you,
but we come first. Our marriage comes first, our marriage
comes before, like and that was it sounds.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
I think people might hear that and say what, but
it actually was comforting to us as kids, like I
knew my place first.

Speaker 6 (54:56):
Of all, did you though, Well, I put I pushed
as much as I could. But but and then some yes,
But I don't hear many people say yes, I was
the problem child.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
And obviously I've continued the theme.

Speaker 4 (55:10):
But I don't think you hear many people say that
that they put their marriage ahead of like not that
you're like not loving your kids, but if there.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
Was now go on vacation for like a month and
just leave you guys, no, do you know.

Speaker 4 (55:23):
You all were joke, always there and structured. But it
was just like, our marriage is the most important thing
in this family unit.

Speaker 3 (55:30):
Well, I think people have to recognize, you know, husbands
and wives need to recognize that they have their kids
for maybe eighteen to you know, twenty three years, and then.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
They're adults and they're gone and they never come there
on their own.

Speaker 3 (55:45):
It's really yeah, and you know they may come and
see you, and they may not.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Even now I've got this huge meal prepared. It's like
we just stand there and wait for somebody to comment,
and we do.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
We're always looking out the window, you know, where are they?

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Where they go?

Speaker 3 (56:01):
But no, I think that's that's true. I mean, you know,
fifty two years versus you know, eighteen to twenty three years.
I mean, and the fifty two years are you know,
they're they're mounting up. You know, we're going to continue on.
So yeah, so we we we love one another. We
are partners and we've always been partners, and that has

(56:24):
to come first. And I think that's set's an example
for your children then too, so what their expectations should be.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
We still loved and do now love our children unconditionally.
You've proven that.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
My last thing, of course, we have to do. She
knows where I'm going. Already you said that she was
the problem child, and Vins I never said.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
I just said, and then it's okay, I take it.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
I take and part of the problem child was right.
She has a flair for the dramatic, as you described,
but part of her being dramatic, one of her go
tos was the slamming of the door she was. I thought,
so do you take when does she start this as
a kid? And it continued up to a point, and
we're gonna take it up to that point. But when
why was this a thing of her slamming doors?

Speaker 3 (57:17):
It was her way of showing that maybe we weren't
in charge, that maybe she was in charge, and it
was maybe a control thing for her. Uh. And it
was one of those I think emotional reactions instead of
an intellectual reaction.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
I think you might be right, and usually geared toward
which one of us. I don't know. I think, who
do you think it was? Mom? I know who it was,
because you and your dad would get into some arguments.
I'm silly. I mean he had you grounded in college. Yeah,
which is that that's not gonna work. I was grounded
on my sixteenth birthday and I think I got grounded

(57:55):
for up to six weeks, like and you. And when
you grounded me, you did not go you know what,
never mind, you can go to the party. Uh. It
was six weeks, like you would not back down if
you punish me. You followed through.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
What was her usually her offense that got her grounded?

Speaker 3 (58:09):
Oh well, this particular offense, there were a couple of things.
One member, she had a bedroom up at the top
floor of the house that was all by itself, a
bedroom and a bathroom, so it was up by itself,
and she moved up there and had a telephone in

(58:30):
her room, and she figured out something I don't know
what it was with call waiting, so that she could
take the phone off the hook and then people would call.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
And I can tell you what I did.

Speaker 4 (58:40):
I called my I worked at a party supply store.
I knew it was closed, so and I knew I
had a plan for friends to call. This is what
we had to do when we didn't have cell phones
and texting, and I wanted to meet up and probably
sneak out of the house because I was grounded, So
I would set up a I don't know how I
set up a time for I knew they'd probably call
me after like eleven or midnight, when I was clearly
not allowed to be on the phone. Take my phone

(59:01):
and call my work and it would just ring incessantly, incessantly,
and then as the rings would go, eventually someone go
peep and call in, and I could click over and
go hey, and you all would not know that anyone
called the house pretty good, christ on sale.

Speaker 3 (59:15):
Pretty ingenious. But so she also then would would always
close the door and keep the door closed, and we
kept saying, no, you need to have lock it and
lock it, so don't open the door, keep the door open.
You don't need to be closing the door all the time.
And I think at one point she said, okay, fine,

(59:38):
and she walked back into the room and just slammed
the door shut. Boom, just slammed it shut. And so
I went up there and made her open and closed
the door.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
I don't know if it was one hundred fifty, it.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Could have been fifty, could have been und a lot.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
It was from my mother. So I passed that on
as punishment because I evidently was a door slammer as well.
And the phone, it's not your fault.

Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
Open open and close the door and get up, you know,
forty nine times forty nine, and then the fiftieth one
she would just take it and slam it shut.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
So eventually I.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Then decided to come up with my tools and remove
the door. So we removed the phone jack and we removed.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
Yes, how old was this child at the time, sixteen
seventeen maybe sixteen.

Speaker 3 (01:00:35):
Seven, sixteen.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
Did she ever get the door back in her high
school days?

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
Yeah, I think eventually, you know, it may have been
six months.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
It was a while. It was a long time. No,
I did not.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
I did learn the lesson, I will say that much.
But I think a lot of my are problems and
me getting grounded, like for extended periods of time was
because I talked back. My dad would say, don't say
another word, and I was like, I'm going to say
it anyway. And then he's like, way, now you have
another week. And I'm like, really, let's just keep going.
My Dad's like, okay, let's make.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
It two weeks. And so it would just that's what
would happen. And I would and my brother would look
at me, you are so dumb. Just stop talking, like
he's like, why do you do that to yourself?

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
I'd inspire a lot of control. You had this this
sense of you wanted justice for what you felt justice
should be, and that's not the way it works.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
I lost you were just as stubborn as at the
two of you are like, Wow, I have to say
I got this one.

Speaker 4 (01:01:30):
I got my emotional dramatic flare from you, and I
got my stubbornness from dad.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
See not my fault.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
Thanks guys. It does wonders for us at home. No,
I've heard that Hinge story for solo. I have one
question about it. Did she counting out loud? Are you
watching her while she's doing it?

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Or no? We could just hear she had to count
out one due forty nine and then fifty bad. I
have to say it felt really good.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
Still to this day, she still feels like that's just.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
I kind of might do it again.

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
She's Oh, and then my oldest ava inherited it too,
so yes, it's been passed along.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
So again, you all are in town now because actually
it's part of time we are at least her graduation
is high school graduation. You all are in town for that.
I know that's a big, a good time in a
family time. There's a lot being planned, and I know
it's a lot you all are looking forward to. And
I know you all have been through a lot the
past year and a half. And yeah, I had a

(01:02:34):
hand in a lot of what you've gone through, your
family's going through, and what your daughter's going through. And
for that, I apologize. Never meant that to be the case, obviously,
But I love this one. I've loved it for a
long time. I love her in a different way now.
But you all have been around saying it here on Mike,
you all have talked to me, We've this isn't new
to you all now, but I'll just I will say
it here that it is really really settling and loved

(01:03:00):
to be in the place we all are now, given
where we all were a year and a half ago.
The fact that I'm as I think you all know,
I've been hanging out with the girls and cutting up,
and just the fact that we're all together in this
way now that so much of the storm has passed,
is a big deal. So it's great to even be
able to sit here on the microphones and talk to
you guys with smiles on your face.

Speaker 2 (01:03:18):
Same here going to lunch and it's picking up the tab.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
Well, oh him, we've been through this. It didn't go
So that might be the one of the biggest mistakes
I've made in your my relationship with your parents, is
I paid the bill when we went to dinner, and.

Speaker 2 (01:03:33):
Your dad and like that, well he got you back.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
Well I already called ahead to the restaurant.

Speaker 4 (01:03:41):
Thank you, guys, and if I have, I know I've
said it to you privately, but I would like to
say it publicly.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
Thank you. Thank you for being the most amazing parents
through an unimaginably tough time and just knowing that you
stood by my side no matter what that was everything.
So thank you. Oh, I don't even it's just in
you know how you feel about your children. You die
for them, you would, So that's how we felt. And

(01:04:08):
I'm going to stop talking so I don't cry.

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
Yeah, we love you, We love you, and I think
that says at all. We love you and we'll continue
to love you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:18):
Thank you, guys, Thank you for coming on the podcast.
I know it's not exactly in your wheelhouse, so thank you.
We appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
It is now. Oh repeat, guests, we got it once
a year update with the robots