February 29, 2024 • 47 mins
Meet one of T.J. and Amy's closest and dearest friends who went viral for having one of the smallest apartments in New York City.
Nikki Espina joins T.J. and Amy to talk about their close friendship and how she got Amy through her lowest lows.
Plus, Nikki reveals she was never in a relationship until she was 39 years old as she shares her fascinating dating story.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast here. And Shotenfreuda, well
apparently I don't even know what that means. Please explain that,
you all. There's been so much that's been happening before
we hit record on this this episode, and shiden Freuda
was the last thing we hit on. Is that right?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Shotten with freude. I'm not really good shot in Florida.
I'm so bad at pronouncing German words. But my dad
was explaining it to me, as was my daughter who
is in Germany right now. But it's a word that
we actually don't have an equivalent for here in the
United States. Who out there has laughed at someone else falling?
(00:42):
That's the best way for me to describe it. So
you're taking some sort of okay, everyone raised their hands, yes, okay, please,
thank you, joined the club.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Can come on, everybody. There are whole YouTube videos that
go for an hour at points just showing people fall
because we laugh at that for some reason.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And the reason why we know that is because we
have watched many of those YouTube I think it's called fails.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
That's not us, that's Sabine's. Sabine Holmes is completely responsible
for this. She's eleven years old and kids with an
iPhone they sit up and they just watch YouTube all day.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Oh, God's no. But this is one time that YouTube
paid off for us.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yes, So we have been for whatever reason in this
past year. How many times have we seen people falling
around us? I had?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Has anybody seen the movie Radius? Okay, it's a horror movie.
You haven't seen it. It's called Radius, and this guy
essentially has a radius around him to where anybody comes
in that radius, they die right at the premise. Okay,
so it's a fascinating movie to watch. But I argue
that I have a radius around me when it comes
to people falling, and if you're around me within about
(01:50):
ten to twenty feet, it's a good chance you might
fall fall.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I can confirm that because when I'm walking next to you,
I cannot I'm like, this statistically cannot get possible. How
many times? And then you feel bad because we actually
have to separate and walk away because we don't want
I don't want anyone to see me laughing at them falling.
I mean, they're okay, they're hurt. It's just comical. It's
like physical comedy, like The Three Stooges. Kind of stuff.
(02:15):
We have to walk in opposite directions almost run because
we're laughing or tears are coming out of our eyes,
and I and we can't be together because it's even funnier.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm thinking about some of them now and I got
tears and I'm wiping in my eyes because the funniest
some of the bunnies want. Okay, when one person takes
out the other, that was the best. Oh wow, yes.
But then when kids fall out of the strollers, they're
not strapped in plant.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
They bounced though they have a lot of cartilage, a
lot of baby fat. Didn't see anyone crying even but
we that's happened twice in front of us.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, y'all look in judgment right now. Yeah, okay, okay,
you'll know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
And then runners, runners, we had so many runners just
like bite bite the dust. Like when we're running and
we're you know, you're oh, skiing. I was explaining this
to you. You don't ski. One of the.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Hardest things would have ever thought. I don't ski.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
But when you're skiing and someone has some like unbelievable
crash in front of you, I have to pull off
to the side and stop because I start laughing so
hard I then fall.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That's not the stuff we're talking about. Stuff we see
is regular walking down the street where people should not
be biting it.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
And then they always look back like, what, how did
that happen?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Wow? What's wrong with this sidewalk?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
No? I slipped on a banana peel the other day.
That actually happened. I told you I took a picture
of it because I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's
so ridiculously it's only in a cartoon.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Would you see that happen?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
But I slipped and almost fell. I also turned around
and said what was that? And it actually was a
banana peel? And I had to proof.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Do you sent me a picture? You send me a
picture of a banana?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It was a fresh banana?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
People, okay fresh now now you're going fresh?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Okay, brand new banana? Puel media. It was ready to
slide anyway. They there's a German word basically that says
you take pleasure in something that maybe you shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
But that's where I got in with the back and point.
I just asked you, hey, send the ask your dad,
because I want to understand what the translation. What there's
a difference in Florida shot in Freuda. There's a difference
in taking like comical seeing somebody trip versus taking pleasure
in someone else's demise or their pain. And I was
trying to separate what this word. I think that's evil.
(04:29):
I think that's evil. We do have a word for
that in this language in English. Right, that's evil, That's mean.
This is more like.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Just come on, this is human nature. There is something
in all of us that sometimes thinks it's funny when
someone or something falls, or there's just some I mean
maybe someone could that's that's my takeaway from it. But
it's just this funny thing when you have other languages
that have words that we don't have in English.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Anyway, that's just one of It's a great word.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Who sent it? Was at your day?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I sent that?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Okay? Did he explain why he sent you directly to
voicemail when you go?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I don't know. But obviously he's busy, the retired man
that he is, was too busy to take my phone call.
I mean, would.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Break the voicemail.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Dad got else? You just took a shot at your dad,
you know I did?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
All right? Okay? He knows.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
I love him, you know what, but he does his
uh the charity work, delivers the meals, right, oh.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
He do you know what? That what he's doing? He
does meals on wheels. And remember I tried to call
him the other day and he didn't answer. I kept
calling back and finally he was like, Ames, I'm delivering food,
meals on wheels. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Don't have time with your shot and froud oh whatever
it is.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But yeah, you're right, he might be doing charity work.
Now now i'd go offul I'm not taking Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Okay. So all this was that out again. We didn't
know how we were going to start this, but that
we were talking about that before we started. The other
thing was therapy. That look, we've talked about here, like
you have not been shy about I haven't done a
lot of therapy over the years, but like, what is
the right way? What serves And it might be individual,
(06:12):
but what serves somebody better to read a book or
to go sit and pay three hundred dollars an hour
to have someone like you were arguing, validating, Like there's
no question I think therapy has been beneficial to a
lot of people. But we were talking about it at
the same time what our experiences are and our guest
today is we were talking about this with her because she
has dealt with some therapy as well, like what is
(06:35):
the way or what has worked for you or worked
for us in terms of reading a book from Michael
Singer or else somebody. I'm forgetting Ekartole versus and then
putting that stuff into practicing your everyday life versus of
session a week, a session every two weeks.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
It's interesting because I think maybe it's it's a combination.
I mean, Gabby Bernstein, Michael Singer, Ekartole, all these people
I really credit with helping me through some of the
toughest times in my life. I reread them, I listened
to them in audiobooks, I listened to their podcast. I mean,
they really do have insightful things to say that apply
to everyone. This is about how we as humans can
become Ego lists is basically what it is. It's about,
(07:13):
you know, thinking instead of what am I not getting,
it's what am I not giving? And that's the general concept.
So I think those are amazing things to You're laughing
at me because you say, I start getting all Michael
Singer on you. Fine, whatever, but there be Oh why
are you laughing? Yeah, that's not why you're laughing.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh my god, we need therapy.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh god, why are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Because you went into it. But I'm thinking about fine,
I'm thinking about Saturday, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Because I didn't apply it.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yes, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I know what to do, and then when the moment
happens where I can make a decision, I'm not in
that state of mind where I'm aware. So sometimes I
actually made a little video diary for myself yesterday to
remind myself, and every day I want to remind myself.
That's why people meditate. I think that's why people do
a lot of things. They journal, but just we all
(08:09):
need to reset. The ego is so powerful, and if
you don't continually remind yourself that that is actually your enemy,
then you can slip into it because that is human
nature to protect and to defend. But that's what creates
most of the problems that you have in any relationship
you have with anyone or even with yourself. And so
it's like I was trying to tell myself positive thoughts
(08:32):
and let it go. Let it go. You don't have
to hold onto things. I'm not I wasn't gonna think,
I was gonna think. But therapy to answer your question,
I think can be really helpful when you are in
a crisis and when you need help. And I have
been there when I when the books and the podcasts
(08:53):
and what I know intellectually I can't put into practice
because I'm so far you know, in a downward spiral,
I can't get out and so so crisis.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
When you need help, you what is your thought then?
On what I hear from people oftentimes is that you, yes,
crisis and you need help, is fine, but you need
regular checkups to where you need to go once a week,
twice a week or whatever, mean once every two weeks
or what it may be. Well that there's an argument
there that we do use it too much for a
(09:23):
crisis instead of as a regular checkup.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I mean, I think it's such a personal individual thing
and if it works for you, that's great. I have
had so much.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Therapy over the last fifteen years it's absurd.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I don't even want to know how much money I've spent,
but at least I feel like I spent it towards
something that was going to make me better.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yes, Scott, thank goodness you spent that money, because I
am the beneficiary of all Oh my god, I am
the beneficiary of all that money spent.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It's a work in Progressjay, it's a work in progress.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Uh yeah, but today we do have And folks have
heard plenty of times on this podcast even but over
the years, if they follow you on social media, people
have heard the name Nikki a whole lot. Nicky, Nicky, Nicki,
Nicki Nikki. And you hear so much about Nikki because
Nikki is the best You have been your best friend eight.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Years, yeah, eight, maybe even more.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Maybe even more. But Nikki, I let you. We're gonna
introduce her. She's sitting here with us in there Heart Studios,
and she's somebody we are obviously has been a delight
to us and has served us so well in so
many ways. But I want you before don't do an introduction, Okay,
I would really like for you to describe your relationship
(10:45):
with her. Don't don't introduce her. She's this, and she's that,
she's a textan Filipino and that we get into all that,
but what she is to.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You, she is my rock.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
She is the person I turned to when I'm in
isis beetn emotional. I don't think I could have made
it through last year without her. She is that person
who is always there. I can count on her for
anything and everything. If it's two am, if it's two pm,
wherever she is, she would drop anything and everything because
(11:20):
she is like the warmest, sweetest, kindest, most selfless person
I've ever met. And I actually feel like I don't
deserve her as a friend, that's how good of a
person she is. And she is just I call her
Yoda because she's so wise and she's hilariously doesn't know
(11:41):
basic stuff sometimes, like she didn't know what a fern was. Well,
I don't know why that sticks out of my mind,
but there's a funny story there, because it's just like
silly stuff like that. She'll ask like what's that? Like
are you kidding me right now? But she will be
so wise and have so much insight to things that
(12:02):
just blow your mind. And when I need to be grounded,
or I need to get perspective, or I just need
a friend, she is the person that I am so
grateful to be able to turn to because she's just
I call her a unicorn.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yoda and unicorn, those are the two things I call.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Wow, we have listeners who we have to leave this
to your imagination. So put Yoda and a unicorn together.
That's nicky, and that's uh, that's a Yoda unicorn baby,
and that's nicky. And get that in your mind. And
you know it's funny you call a Yoda because she
is about his height.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
She is not an insult, not an insult. She gets it.
She's four foot eleven.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
And at this point, you again, you introduced me to her,
and she has been around with me the entire time
I've known you. But she's known essentially Samine her entire life.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah. I think's known you is almost as long as
she's known me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
But it's fun now that we sit here and that
my little one that she's known since one a year old,
literally a year old, Sabina is not taller than she is.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
That's wild. So folks, a lot of folks out there
have called her and looked and they've asked you, what
is she your? Have you adopted her? Yep? Is she
are you related?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
What else have they?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
They they asked if she's my daughter, which was a
kind of offensive, but okay, offensive because I'm not old
enough to be her mom. She's a forty year old woman.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh okay, so what does that say about me? Sorry anyway,
but she looks so young to be fair, that's true.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
That's true. And also they've also questioned, are platonic or not?
Like there's been a question as to whether or not
we have a more than platonic relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
You Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
People have absolutely raised their eyebrows and said, what's going
on with you too?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Do you answer?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I was like, are you kidding me right now?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's not a so I no, obviously, I know.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Absolutely speaking Okay, everybody like, can I talk?
Speaker 4 (14:17):
We I've also gotten assistant. People have many people have
asked if I've am your assistant? I've gotten everything. So
because I did live with you upstate during quarantine. First
of all, Also, just real quick, thank you guys for
having me. I'm very nervous right now. Team then I
feel very calm here at peace.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yay. Well, I was gonna say it's Nikki a spina,
but hilariously, because of what you look like on Instagram,
your handle people call you Nike.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, so my handle is actually Nick Espina. And y'all's
first podcast. Actually, when you call you, when you said
my name Nikki, I got a few d MS saying
I always thought your name was Nike, Nike Spina, and
so many people wing and saying I thought the same thing.
So because of y'all's podcast, it's NICKI, it's Nicole Denise Espina,
(15:08):
and I go by Niki.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yes, so you are still no, no at all, no,
no at all No.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
There's like maybe two people that ever called me.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
To Cole, I asked her to describe her relationship with you.
I'll do the same. You describe your relationship with this one.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Well, first of all, I had to like look away
when you introduced me because you started tearing up. And
when she cries, I cry, and everyone in here already knows.
I'm pretty nervous because there are certain people that belong
on camera or in front of a microphone. I'm not
one of those people. I get nervous. I get like
very shy, and I'm just like I was actually just
texting with Anna, your youngest, and I was like, she
(15:54):
was talking me through this.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
She was like, just be yourself, Nikki.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
So the same thing with Anna and Ave of course,
like I've seen Sabine grow up.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
But even I'm calling bulls. See you right now, people, Okay,
see you right now. You are lean back in the chair,
more comfortable than you're one of us. Yeah, you're holding
your microphone as if you're about to be a playlist
or something. Right, they can stop.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Oh my goodness, it's because of your amazing team that
are making me feel very comfortable and y'all, of course
I feel I'm with my family now. So but my
heart is beating like crazy right now. But so I
to look away because you were crying. And we actually
spent like two hours on the phone yesterday bawling her
eyes out, just talking about life and not even like
bad tears, but good tears. But back to the question, See,
(16:42):
some people really just don't fly like I digress. Sorry, Amy,
She is my rock, her and her family, her and
her two girls. I swear they are my family. They
are my chosen family. I love my actual family, and
I very much love my chosen family. You guys have
been with me for eight years. I definitely want to
(17:05):
get into the story of how we met, because that
is actually one of the biggest questions I get. But
first I just want to talk about us, like just
so many people. I was just telling my boyfriend this
the other day, that so many people wish that they
had such close friendships. And I'm thinking, as a forty
year old woman now, who just I turn forty in December,
so many people would kill for such a close friendship.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
It's to the point that people question it in a sense.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
But it's literally like we go through college and your
friends are right there in the dorms, They're right there
in your sororities or your fraternity or whatever. And then
when I moved back to New York City long story shore,
I lived here, I moved away. I came back in
twenty ten, and for the first few years I was
actually I lived by myself on this in this tiny,
(17:51):
little Upper east Side apartment, and I was just I'm
a personal trainer.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I was just working.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Then I would go home. I was working, I would
go home. I have a close friend group.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Amy, you are my sister, you are my best friend,
You're my free therapist. So talking about therapy and everything,
but I crying about two hours, just life changes toole,
life change, life changes, anxiety, anxiety also just literally yeah, why,
(18:22):
I'm a very like introspective person head in Yota, So
I'm just constantly thinking, just like overthinking. I'm a big overthinker.
Amy's like always talks me down. She's like, you're overthinking this,
or but just live stuff, live changes with everything, be
it with I was actually crying a little bit about
like Anna moving away, honestly, like that's something I can
(18:44):
literally start crying about, Like Ava's in Germany, but she
still lives here at n YU and just even literally
the thought of Anna moving away, So don't start crying.
I won't Anna moving away in a few months to
go off to college. We're not sure still she hasn't
chosen which college yet she wants to go to. But
just the thought of that, I can literally just start crying.
I had just got done with work and I called
(19:04):
you up and we're just literally chatting on the phone
for like a solid hour or two just about life
and about the books and about the podcast that we
listened to.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And we just we share, we share podcasts and ideas
and yes, and we're just we're we're really sappy like that.
But we were constantly supporting one another. I think absolutely
when we have anxiety, which is amazing. Absolutely, you want
to go back. And the story of how we met
is pretty funny because it's not what people would think
(19:33):
favorite story.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
It's literally one of my favorite stories.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I needed a dog sitter.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I actually worked at ABC Radio. I don't know if
y'all know, I don't. I know you knew this. The
thought of making a cubicle is so funny to me.
Definitely not me. I ever going back to a cubicle
or I did fit.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yeah, anyway, So I did that for about a year,
and that's how a lot of people think, I know you.
Actually I did that for about a year. This is
two thousand and it just wasn't me. I just knew
I wasn't meant to be working there, and I wanted
to travel. I wanted to live elsewhere because I loved
New York so much. I love New York so much
that I was like, if I don't leave now, I'm
(20:12):
never gonna leave. So I ended up moving to Hawaii
for a few months. Then I went off to Brazil
for a few months, and then I was like, Okay,
I'm ready to go back to New York City twenty ten,
and I was like, I'm gonna pursue personal training. My
aunt in the Philippines was a personal trainer. She's the
one I really looked up to look up to still,
so I pursued that, got my certification in that So
twenty ten, i work at New York Sports Clubs and
(20:35):
I'm getting certified to become a trainer. And in the meantime,
obviously I had to pay the bills, so I'm not
yet a trainer. I don't want to train a new
one until I'm actually certified. So I get a job
at Quicksilver on Fifth Avenue, right by a Rockefeller Center.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Quicksilver is a like a surf brand, surf brand, skate brand.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
It's one of my favorite brands. I was like, and
I don't mind retail. I've always enjoyed retail. I did
that through all throughout college. So I did that while
I'm also working at New York Sports Clubs as a
a as I'm getting my certification.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Right and Sarah Haynes walks in.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
So Sarah Haynes.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Walks in one July summer day in twenty ten, and
long story short, one of the coolest girls. We just
hit it off and she gives me her card and
she actually became my very first client. We're training and
she and I'm talking about my love for dogs, and
she was like, would you ever want to dog sit
one day? Is that a possibility? Like your like apartment
(21:30):
sit enjoy my apartment on the Upper West Side at
the time, or Hell's kitchen this is where she lived.
And I was like, sure, I love dogs, of course,
let's do this. So I start not only training her,
I'm dog sitting for her. And then let's fast forward to.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Well you you you trained, so you trained Sarah? You
you you dog sat for her. Then she introduces you
to ginger Z.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
To ginger Z in twenty fourteen, so then you're dog
and I think start dog hitting and did you train
dog or just not dream her?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I just dogs. I loved her dog so much. I
actually dog sat dog walk.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I actually gave up a few clients to walk her
dog every day because I loved him so much.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Nicki loves dogs and she loves kids she doesn't have.
And then you so I was twenty fifteen. I go
to ginger and I needed a dog sitter, and she
was like, actually I know this girl. I met her
through Sarah Haynes, and she also is a personal trainer.
If you need that, I'm like, actually that it sounds amazing.
Will you give me her number? So if you look
in my phone when your name comes up, it still
(22:31):
says it says trainer, Nikkia. Yeah, that doesn't say dog sitter.
That wasn't your trade. You're a trainer. And so you started,
you know, helping me out walk and not really walking Brody,
but taking care of him when I'm traveling, apartment sitting yep.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
And then and then I said I'd actually love a
personal trainer.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
So I was coming out of breast cancer, and I
knew I wanted to get, you know, more fit after
everything I'd been through. So you and I started training.
And the one thing about Nicki is when she trained someone,
she's not just physically training them. It's also I learned
a therapy session to go back to our theme therapy.
So I started thinking, like, this girl is so interesting.
(23:10):
I mean, she and the training would just fly by
because we'd be talking about our feelings and what we
think about the about life and all of this stuff.
And so I started learning things about you, and you
told me at that point, and I find this so
interesting that you were eight years sober, that's right. And
I started asking you questions and you explained what happened.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
So back in I think my last drink, like I
partied haired in college, and then my first few years
here that one year in New York City, Hawaii as well.
When I got back from Hawaiian and Brazil, I got
back here and I was just like, I didn't have
a great experience at a party once, at a work
(23:55):
party once, and I was like, I'm done, Like I
just don't want to drink anymore. So when I got
back from Brazil in twenty ten, I was like or
two thousand and nine or so, I was like, I think,
I'm just not going to drink.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
And I just was able to cut it out of
my life. Cold tricky.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
So I get back to New York City. I'm putting
all my energy into training and working and everything. And
at the same time, I didn't really have like a
close friend group or anything. Didn't have y'all at the
time or anything. So I was just like, I don't
I'm just not going to drink. And I just wasn't
tempted to, I didn't feel like I needed to, didn't
want to. So for eight years I just did not
(24:30):
have one drink. And then it wasn't until I met
my group of friends that i'm very still like, still
very close to. I was like, I finally feel like
I found a group of people that I feel safe
drinking with.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yeah, and I started eating back into it as a woman.
That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah, And then you eat back and how and how
do you feel now about about your drinking habits. I
feel very very.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Healthy with it. It's not something.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I'm a social drinker. I love like the you actually
taught me this phrase. I drink to enhance joy, not
to mask pain.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So I I love it.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
I love going out to our our lunches getting rose.
I love our run to run to fun. Whenever I
go running with you guys, let's grab it be speaking
to the afternoon now, yeah, fun. Because I feel safe
with y'all. I feel safe with with you know. I
think that's a big thing. Actually, just when I won't
just drink with anybody, I need to know that I'm
(25:27):
in a safe environment.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
So I have a very healthy relationship with it.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
But I enjoy it. I have fun.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
I love a good glad. Are we gonna get rose
after this?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Can we?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Well it's not dry January anymore? Yes, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And I wanted to be clear that you you had
a bad experience, but you didn't have some drinking. Probably.
I just wanted to make sure.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah, yeah, Actually I.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Appreciate you meuntioning that because there were only a lot
of people. Yes, yes, yes, actually I appreciate you saying
that it was an uh No, I never I know,
was never addicted.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I was never like an alcoholic or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Someone else who put you in an uncomfortable situation and
you didn't feel like being under the influence in any
way helped the situation.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
So it was scary.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
It was actually at at my first corporate job and
it was a work party, and it just it it
was just not a good situation to get.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
It was just wasn't a good situation.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Do you remember the date of that party?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
December something two thousand.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Wow, Because something is different. Like so when I said
she should knowed that, she also has this incredible memory.
Where so a if you ever are going to be
in any sort of disagreement, and we don't fight that much.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
We've had a couple fights.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Sure, but I would never dare say I said or
didn't say something, because you would be able to almost rebate.
Tell me what I said, or but I didn't say that.
You say it in the nicest way, like I don't
think that's what you said. Actually, keeping on the stay, Yeah,
and then you can tell me the date that it happened,
and you can sometimes you can tell me what I
was wearing.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Oh my gosh, I could tell you the dates I met.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Y'all say, I'm trying to think, move to our audience
right now. Oh god, that she does it. No, you
wouldn't fail to test, obviously. But it's been bizarre the
times we can say when was the thing and you
go boom right off the top of your hands.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Just recently, you guys were like, hey, when did you
go to Marie's crisis with a Nick and Adam last year?
And I said it was April seventh of twenty twenty three,
but Amy pulled up the pictures like she was right,
it was April seventh. Right, I can little thing like
document it on my little things also like sure, my mind,
my brain, but also pictures and stuff. I love taking pictures, videos,
(27:31):
I love documenting like you know, Instagram stuff.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
But it's because of that, like pictures from Oh we
took it on April seventh.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
All right, So what's the day you met TJ?
Speaker 4 (27:39):
So there was an actual day that I met TJ
at the studio in Times Square with Sabine, Little Sabine,
she was so cute's so little, But that was in passing.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
That was in passing, Oh TJ. Sabine.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
But when we actually, like, the first day I babysat
Sabine was June first, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
WHOA.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
So I and I do know this because the day
before Amy me, Amy, like us and some friends went
out and we're all just having drinks and enjoying.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Oh, TJ.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Holmes needs a babysitter tomorrow. Is there any chance that
you're interested? I was like, oh, hell yeah, let's do
this all right, I'm gonna test you again. What's the
first what's the first day that we met that you
(28:35):
came and dogs hat? The first day that I dog set? Well, okay,
either one more day we met or the first day
you dog sat.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
First day we met was August thirteenth, twenty fifteen. Oh
my gosh, it's weird. And I'll always remember when I
met you. Guys, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And you remember the first day you came over to
watch Brody. It was two days later, like August fifteenth, that.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
We had so at Oh was that just us three? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I didn't even remember Robert.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
I actually remember it was August sixth, twenty twenty three,
because Amy and I went shopping that day and then
you met up with us. We were shopping in Soho
and then you met up with us at that place
on Houston.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I don't even remember the corner there, guys.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I have the worst memory.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
I am the opposite of detective, but the favorite one
for me.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
And you'll remember there was a particular something between the
two of us that you she's already you sat I
think you're the only witness to this, right, Okay, He
sat up in a dead sleep and woke up and
shouted out my birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
I know this.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Hold on, this is a fun game.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It was.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
It was Halloween. It was hollow because we went to
Ava show.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
We walked through that parade. Yep, we get to your apartment.
I were on the couch I fell asleep watching a movie.
TJ's on the floor, and then out of nowhere, I
was talking to TJ. I don't know, you just scream
August nineteenth. And he goes, wait, what did you just say?
And then you don't even remember that.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I didn't remember. The next day I was in work,
TJ walks by my dressing room and he said, hey, Robes,
when's my birthday? And I was like, huh. And so
I looked to my producer, Danesca, and she's I look
at her, and we have we have we can make
eye contact.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
She knows what I mean. She's like, I'm looking it up.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
So she looked it up and she whispers to me
August nineteenth and I say, I'll get nineteenth. And he
said did you know that? I said no, Daneska just
told me. He's like, do you know what you said
last night on the couch? Nope, I screamed August nineteenth.
We still can't understand it. I don't think anyone will
believe it unless you witnessed it.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Again, you were the only Nikki's only witnessed it. But
this was before there was anything between.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Yeah, they were just friends. This is years before two years.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Before at you a complete dead sleeps new and I
were just we're just talking. We're the World Series game
or football game.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yes, I ordered pizza out.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
And we're talking. Everybody else's passed out, and you just
shut up on the couch, spread out nineteenth.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
It's weird. I don't even have an explanation for it.
It's one of those boobs.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
Halloween of twenty twenty one, twenty twenty one, Yes, twenty
twenty one.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
There it is.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah, Oh my goodness, it's anyways, if you guys need
help with your.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Day, have you heard of I mesia? I have not.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
They say, that's what you have. It's someone's ability to
spontaneously recall the dates and details of events that happened
in their life.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Wow. Yeah, And oh my gosh, even small ones like
you it. I can't tell you how many times it
happens where you all just kind of be saying what
was that, and you'll just shout out the exact date
and then, like I said, you can tell me what
I'm where I was wearing sometimes, Oh my gosh. Really weird.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Oh absolutely, but you remember when you wore that?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
No?
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Also, because like I just I have pictures too.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
It's like, like it doesn't matter. I have pictures too.
I have I have the opposite condition that you have.
I can't remember anything. I'm like when it humh, oh
my god. It's a fun little game we can play.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
We can I love the can do day.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
So wait, So if you google Nikki Aspina, I did
it today. There's there's a lot of you out there.
But one of the funny things you will find if
you google Nikki Aspina is she made headlines. You. You
went viral last year because of how you live and
where you live and how much you pay to do that.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Oh my gosh, everyone knows how much I do.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
It's New York City. But please tell our listeners because
this is going to blow your mind everyone.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
First of all, how much as you're.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
In seventeen fifty Okay, that sounds great, rights, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
In New York. Now, what is the square foot of
your apartment?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Eighty square feet?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Eighty eight note eight hundred eighty.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Square feet, which so basically here's the story with that.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
So have you guys heard of Calebsimson.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
He is known for going up to people in the
streets spontaneously and being like, hey, excuse me how much
do you pay for rents in New York City? And
they'll stop and be like two thousand dollars, three thousand dollars.
So I came across his videos his Instagram exactly a
year ago, about a year ago, and jokingly, I was
just scrolling through his feed and I loved it, and
(33:28):
one of my friends was like, Nikki, you should ask
him on I reposted a video of his One of
my friends was like, you should get him to come
to your micro studio.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
So I put.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Jokingly on my store, Caleb Simpson, come toward my micro studio.
He responds within ten minutes saying when can I come
over to do the store. I actually didn't respond for
maybe twelve hours because I was like, I was kind
of kidding, and I don't know if I want you
coming over to my place.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
And I get nervous about things like this. So I
was you know who encouraged me to do it?
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Anna? Oh yeah, it's typical.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah, And he's like yoo, yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
She was literally like just you, it'll be fine. She
helps me like figure out what I was going to
wear on it, and everything was so funny. Anyways, long
story short, he comes over and he very cool guy. Him,
the guy that shot the video or whatever, come over.
Very cool guys. They're literally only over for maybe twenty
thirty minutes because there's not well, it's.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Just you don't have to tour it.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
They about to ask you where your bed was.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
Oh my goodness, So I have a which is funny
because this is the most amount of I get dms
left and right about my Murphy bed, which, by the way,
it came completely furnished.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
So not completely furnished.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
I bought. Well then totally worth the bright Oh totally
and there's free WiFi. Oh oh wow great?
Speaker 1 (34:45):
How do you furnish eighty square feet?
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Well, I do want to also say so when I
was looking at it in twenty nineteen, Amy comes over.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
I honestly don't know what your thoughts were. When I
showed it to you.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I thought it was size she gets perfect for you.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
So literally I was like, this is where I want
to live. So mind you, I lived in an actual
studio what you're calling it?
Speaker 1 (35:07):
TJ.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, that was like, what did I call that place?
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Oh my gosh, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
So he lived in basically an empty you I said
it was a sad divorced man's apartment. Yeah, so I right,
it was your place day.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
There was nothing like I used to So I consider
myself a minimalist, as in, I don't own a lot
of stuff this old place on the Upper east Side. Literally,
dad nothing hanging on my walls, and I had a
twin size bed.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I didn't even have a TV.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
It was so sad.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
And when you take a picture frame, Amy and an
Ava came to it was that that big blizzard that
happened and they came to stay at my place that
one night, and anyways, it was just there's no decorations.
So long story short, I lived there for ten years,
you guys on the Upper east Side, and then I
was just spending all my time down in the West
Village with our you know, you live down there. Joan
(36:07):
Preston lived down there. Pretty much everyone lived down there
that I was hanging out with. I was like, I'm
gonna try to get downtown. Actually, so I looked at
so many places, like maybe twenty places in twenty nineteen
while we're training for the marathon, and then all of
a sudden, this micro studio pops up on Street Easy
and I'm like, this is the one.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
So I look at it and I actually got approved
within like a week.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
No one else, no one else, because none of it
live in.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Eighty square heats except for actually a very good point.
So in the sense of so I see it, it's
I have to show you guys pictures.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
So it's viral. Everyone check it out on callobseay. You
have five million views or something, which is easy.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
People like it's jaw dropping to see someone living in
eighty square quakeness.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
And if you read the comments there, so one moaning
c you have like how many like how many plates
do you have?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Lates? I have four plates, three bowls.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah, I can literally tell you everything little, but I'm
just a big So when I lived in Hawaii, I
racked up a lot of debt, and when I got back,
I was like, I got to pay off this debt,
and I ended up selling a bunch of This is
how I got into minimalism.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Selling.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
I kept everything from college. I used to actually like
be a packer. I used to keep every little thing,
even receipts.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
It was just so weird. So I go back to
my parents' house.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
I stay there before I moved to Brazil, for a
few months, for maybe two months with them, and while
I'm there, I actually sold everything that I wasn't using.
I was like, I don't need I used to surf,
I don't need three surfboards. I'm gonna sell them. Am
I using these? So let me sell these? So I
actually made enough money to pay off the debt I
racked up in Hawaii. And it was then that I
(37:43):
was like, I don't need a lot of stuff. Minimalism
to me is because one of the biggest comments I
like left and right, so it goes either or so
many people saying this is so great? How did you
get into minimalism? And then there are definitely a lot
of people are like, oh my gosh, you are crazy.
Workers are crazy, Like why would people want to pay
that much to First of all, not everyone.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Does this, like lives the way I do, but I
just it was worth it to live.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
I can be at your place in ten minutes, and
that was I could be at Joe and Preston's place
in ten minutes, like TJ I could be at your
place in twenty minutes.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It's just perfect for you because you were close to
your friends and like a lot of stuff anyway.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
So it works.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
As much as people might think it's crazy, it absolutely
works for you and your personality. I want to make
sure we touch on you travel the same way too.
You have like I'll have like two bags, you have
one backpack. We've traveled the world together. We've run marathons together.
We've climbed mountains together. NICKI was with me when we
somebody did kill him and Jarrow. We have obviously we've
(38:47):
run how many.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Two marathon grown together? Okay for wow, I've wow, I've missed.
I missed a couple.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
We've done four marathons together. We did the challenge of
doing Chicago and New York together. And so you have
been amazing and you weren't even a run or to
begin with, you became You actually said you would bike
next to me while I ran on a run. Forward
to later that year, she's running the New York City
Marathon with me. So that just speaks to how when
you put your mind to something and you say you can't,
(39:14):
it's amazing what you can do. And you've been a
huge example of that. I want to ask you what
your next challenge is, because you're always challenging yourself. You
said you wanted to do trail running, which I think
is just such a difficult thing to do because we
hike and we run, but putting them together is a
very difficult thing. But I'm curious because I don't even
(39:35):
know the answer to this. What is your next big challenge?
What do you want to accomplish this year?
Speaker 1 (39:40):
This year?
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Oh wow, I think you you nailed it. I would
love to sign up for a trail race. I was
supposed to do one a few months ago. I ended
up not doing it, but I would love to.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Obviously did one on Staten Island. I didn't even know
that was I forgot about that. That was the run
in Sutn Island. Like I mean, I learned in the
city from you every day.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
So like New York City is like just this big
playground and when you can find people that you enjoy
just exploring the city with, it just makes it all
the more better. And y'all are that to me, like
all our cool runs that we go do you We're
gonna go pick up some bean from school here in
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
I'm so excited, And just little things like that.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
But my big, my big next goal, I would say,
would be a Trail Race, and also I would love
to get back into doing another mountain. That's definitely. I
don't know about this year, but I think trail Race
would probably be top of the list.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
For Yeah, we did cook theos Go together too, so
we've done two of the seven Summits together with.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
We Yeah, the weather, the web, it was why we
climbed the comitted, the second and third highest peaks in
the Alps.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
And that was actually the hardest thing I've ever done
in my life.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
That was very difficult. We were that rying, actually harder
than I was bawling the entire time. Conditions were rough
because we got to do two and you got to
do I know, we felt like, yeah, it was pretty tough.
I want to Also, there's so many I said she
was a unicorn in Yoda.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
You are officially now not single, But the entire time
I have known you, you have been single, and you
were officially single, like never had a boyfriend correct, correct
until you were thirty nine years old, till I was
there changed for you.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
Well honestly, so up until then, I've always been this
this unicorn as you call it or whatever, I have
always just like lived like my motto is played by year.
I love to just go with the flow. Just what
my friend group is everything to me. But it was
just right time, right place, this amazing guy that I'm dating,
(41:45):
who I know because of you, Aby, it was just
the right time and the right person. Honestly, just the
right person. He's the one of the most amazing people
have I just literally was just telling him this yesterday.
He's one of the best souls, one of the kindest,
most Jenner people you will ever meet. And we have
so much fun together. We're just exploring the city together
and he's very adventurous too. He loves to hike mountains.
(42:06):
He he and I spontaneously ran a race two weeks ago.
We signed up for it the day before. He did
the five k and I did a half marathon.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
And you need to be spontaneous to be with you. Yeah,
I think that that's a big thing for me. I
love just like everyone.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
Tatiana was actually like, talk about play it by your Nikki,
because I was telling her I was going to be
on this. But you know, from the beginning, I've always
been like, let's play it by her. You never know
when your last day on Earth is or anything, or
how even just this day will end. Let's just feel
it out, let's play it by your let's go with
the flow and just see you know where the wind
takes us. And I've always been that way ever since
I was young.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
And yeah, I'm so happy for you. It's so happy
to see you.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
In love and with someone who I have always admired,
who I've done a lot of traveling with. I climed
Mount Fuji with him. Actually, so sorry, the perfect I
love seeing the two of you together. It's amazing. And
something else I want to point out, you actually were
the only person probably who was witnessed to TJ and I.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
I believe so was.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
There's a lot of people who have a lot of
timelines in their mind or what they think happened or what,
but you know, you saw it all happen. Oh my gosh,
I saw it happen. I actually, I will say this.
I had one one of your loyal fans.
Speaker 4 (43:18):
She literally was like, one day, you should be on
the podcast, and I'd be like, ha ha, Hai would
be terrible on her podcast because I'm a nervous person.
But she literally wrote this the other day. Shout out
to this random very kind stranger. But she was like
talk about like how how how you guessed that they
were together? And I this is how I guessed because
I never saw you happier. I never saw you happier.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Because TJ has mentioned a couple of times, and I
understand he was you know, he didn't know that you knew,
but you guessed, and you you came to me and
I couldn't lie.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
There was you couldn't lie. There was just a new
sparkle in your eye and I just knew that. And
that was fall of twenty e was fall twenty two.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yes, exactly, yep, fall of twenty right or the cameras
caught us and I hate oh, I didn't say caught
us right before the cameras documented something we wanted to
keep private.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
Absolutely, So I knew from the very beginning. I remember
you calling me telling me about like, you know, all
the new changes with you know, everything that was going
on back in August, which you have you know, publicly
talked about too. But it was until September of twenty
twenty two then I was just like started to notice something.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Yeah, I just saw how much more light you were?
Is that okay to say?
Speaker 4 (44:28):
Just like you were just happier and in the sense
of just you were like, what's going on? Yeah, I
was like, tell me, tell it, Like how do I
find this?
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (44:38):
But then I just being with you guys, I've been
I was just telling Chris this the other day. You
guys are my family. You so being ava anna DJ
oh my good, it's TJ. You guys are my family.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (44:50):
And I that is at the end of the day
to me, like I'm a minimalist, I don't have much,
but I am rich because I have of a chosen
family of want my actual family.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
I'm very close to them too. To me, that is
what life is.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
It's it's connection, it's community, it's real deep friendship that
we're talking about real life stuff with. It's not just
just having fun. Yes, we can have fun, but it's
deep talk. Even just before we started the podcast, we
were talking about like deep talk and you're immediately You're like,
you want to come pick the bean up. I'm like, yes,
I do. Like that's just such an honor, you know,
(45:27):
to be just trusted And like I recently read somewhere
in one of my self help books, I love self
help books. People just want to be seen, safe and supported,
and I feel like that with y'all. I know I
have my community out here, and that's what makes me
internally rich, is that I can live in a tiny,
little micro It makes me happy because I get to
see you guys every day, and that to me is joy, and.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
That, to me is life. So I texted DJ scene,
what is it? Scene supported?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Safe?
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Scenes supported? I said, I said it wrong. I just
screwed it up. But I might have.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Ours for I think you. Yeah, we were talking about
that yesterday, nicky Uh, I think everyone. I'm glad everyone
gets to meet you and know you because you are
such a special soul. And thank you for getting over
your nerves. I know that you weren't exactly you know,
thrilled about performing and you're not performing. I said, you
just have to talk about you, which is what Anily
(46:26):
told you as well. And so we just we want
to thank you for always being a part of our family.
You are our family. I mean TJ has said that
plenty of times.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
Well again, think about scenes. I'd spend more time with you,
and you're more of a part of her family than
many of her relatives are. So I mean, that's just
the way things have gone. But yeah, it's she doesn't
know life without you. So I'll say that publicly and
how much I love you and adore you and thank you.
I'll say that publicly, but I say it to you
privately too.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, you are the sister that I've never had, and
you were an aunt to my daughters.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Oh my goodness. I call them my big little sister niece.
Speaker 4 (47:00):
That's what I call them, because I learned from them too,
and soon that will be so being in the sense
of a big little sister me or whatever, just his
little sister that sounds like a new taller than me
and a wiser than me more wise, definitely. But I
learn a lot from them. And but thank you, guys.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
Let's go to lunch.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Okay, we love you. We gotta get to being.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
We gotta go to lunch.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
But thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Having on, I love you, guys.
Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast here. And Shotenfreuda, well
apparently I don't even know what that means. Please explain that,
you all. There's been so much that's been happening before
we hit record on this this episode, and shiden Freuda
was the last thing we hit on. Is that right?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Shotten with freude. I'm not really good shot in Florida.
I'm so bad at pronouncing German words. But my dad
was explaining it to me, as was my daughter who
is in Germany right now. But it's a word that
we actually don't have an equivalent for here in the
United States. Who out there has laughed at someone else falling?
(00:42):
That's the best way for me to describe it. So
you're taking some sort of okay, everyone raised their hands, yes, okay, please,
thank you, joined the club.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Can come on, everybody. There are whole YouTube videos that
go for an hour at points just showing people fall
because we laugh at that for some reason.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And the reason why we know that is because we
have watched many of those YouTube I think it's called fails.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
That's not us, that's Sabine's. Sabine Holmes is completely responsible
for this. She's eleven years old and kids with an
iPhone they sit up and they just watch YouTube all day.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Oh, God's no. But this is one time that YouTube
paid off for us.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Yes, So we have been for whatever reason in this
past year. How many times have we seen people falling
around us? I had?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Has anybody seen the movie Radius? Okay, it's a horror movie.
You haven't seen it. It's called Radius, and this guy
essentially has a radius around him to where anybody comes
in that radius, they die right at the premise. Okay,
so it's a fascinating movie to watch. But I argue
that I have a radius around me when it comes
to people falling, and if you're around me within about
(01:50):
ten to twenty feet, it's a good chance you might
fall fall.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I can confirm that because when I'm walking next to you,
I cannot I'm like, this statistically cannot get possible. How
many times? And then you feel bad because we actually
have to separate and walk away because we don't want
I don't want anyone to see me laughing at them falling.
I mean, they're okay, they're hurt. It's just comical. It's
like physical comedy, like The Three Stooges. Kind of stuff.
(02:15):
We have to walk in opposite directions almost run because
we're laughing or tears are coming out of our eyes,
and I and we can't be together because it's even funnier.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm thinking about some of them now and I got
tears and I'm wiping in my eyes because the funniest
some of the bunnies want. Okay, when one person takes
out the other, that was the best. Oh wow, yes.
But then when kids fall out of the strollers, they're
not strapped in plant.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
They bounced though they have a lot of cartilage, a
lot of baby fat. Didn't see anyone crying even but
we that's happened twice in front of us.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, y'all look in judgment right now. Yeah, okay, okay,
you'll know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
And then runners, runners, we had so many runners just
like bite bite the dust. Like when we're running and
we're you know, you're oh, skiing. I was explaining this
to you. You don't ski. One of the.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Hardest things would have ever thought. I don't ski.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
But when you're skiing and someone has some like unbelievable
crash in front of you, I have to pull off
to the side and stop because I start laughing so
hard I then fall.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That's not the stuff we're talking about. Stuff we see
is regular walking down the street where people should not
be biting it.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
And then they always look back like, what, how did
that happen?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Wow? What's wrong with this sidewalk?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
No? I slipped on a banana peel the other day.
That actually happened. I told you I took a picture
of it because I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's
so ridiculously it's only in a cartoon.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Would you see that happen?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
But I slipped and almost fell. I also turned around
and said what was that? And it actually was a
banana peel? And I had to proof.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Do you sent me a picture? You send me a
picture of a banana?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
It was a fresh banana?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
People, okay fresh now now you're going fresh?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Okay, brand new banana? Puel media. It was ready to
slide anyway. They there's a German word basically that says
you take pleasure in something that maybe you shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
But that's where I got in with the back and point.
I just asked you, hey, send the ask your dad,
because I want to understand what the translation. What there's
a difference in Florida shot in Freuda. There's a difference
in taking like comical seeing somebody trip versus taking pleasure
in someone else's demise or their pain. And I was
trying to separate what this word. I think that's evil.
(04:29):
I think that's evil. We do have a word for
that in this language in English. Right, that's evil, That's mean.
This is more like.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Just come on, this is human nature. There is something
in all of us that sometimes thinks it's funny when
someone or something falls, or there's just some I mean
maybe someone could that's that's my takeaway from it. But
it's just this funny thing when you have other languages
that have words that we don't have in English.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Anyway, that's just one of It's a great word.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Who sent it? Was at your day?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I sent that?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Okay? Did he explain why he sent you directly to
voicemail when you go?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I don't know. But obviously he's busy, the retired man
that he is, was too busy to take my phone call.
I mean, would.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Break the voicemail.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Dad got else? You just took a shot at your dad,
you know I did?
Speaker 2 (05:22):
All right? Okay? He knows.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
I love him, you know what, but he does his
uh the charity work, delivers the meals, right, oh.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
He do you know what? That what he's doing? He
does meals on wheels. And remember I tried to call
him the other day and he didn't answer. I kept
calling back and finally he was like, Ames, I'm delivering food,
meals on wheels. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Don't have time with your shot and froud oh whatever
it is.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But yeah, you're right, he might be doing charity work.
Now now i'd go offul I'm not taking Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Okay. So all this was that out again. We didn't
know how we were going to start this, but that
we were talking about that before we started. The other
thing was therapy. That look, we've talked about here, like
you have not been shy about I haven't done a
lot of therapy over the years, but like, what is
the right way? What serves And it might be individual,
(06:12):
but what serves somebody better to read a book or
to go sit and pay three hundred dollars an hour
to have someone like you were arguing, validating, Like there's
no question I think therapy has been beneficial to a
lot of people. But we were talking about it at
the same time what our experiences are and our guest
today is we were talking about this with her because she
has dealt with some therapy as well, like what is
(06:35):
the way or what has worked for you or worked
for us in terms of reading a book from Michael
Singer or else somebody. I'm forgetting Ekartole versus and then
putting that stuff into practicing your everyday life versus of
session a week, a session every two weeks.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
It's interesting because I think maybe it's it's a combination.
I mean, Gabby Bernstein, Michael Singer, Ekartole, all these people
I really credit with helping me through some of the
toughest times in my life. I reread them, I listened
to them in audiobooks, I listened to their podcast. I mean,
they really do have insightful things to say that apply
to everyone. This is about how we as humans can
become Ego lists is basically what it is. It's about,
(07:13):
you know, thinking instead of what am I not getting,
it's what am I not giving? And that's the general concept.
So I think those are amazing things to You're laughing
at me because you say, I start getting all Michael
Singer on you. Fine, whatever, but there be Oh why
are you laughing? Yeah, that's not why you're laughing.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh my god, we need therapy.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh god, why are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Because you went into it. But I'm thinking about fine,
I'm thinking about Saturday, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Because I didn't apply it.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yes, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I know what to do, and then when the moment
happens where I can make a decision, I'm not in
that state of mind where I'm aware. So sometimes I
actually made a little video diary for myself yesterday to
remind myself, and every day I want to remind myself.
That's why people meditate. I think that's why people do
a lot of things. They journal, but just we all
(08:09):
need to reset. The ego is so powerful, and if
you don't continually remind yourself that that is actually your enemy,
then you can slip into it because that is human
nature to protect and to defend. But that's what creates
most of the problems that you have in any relationship
you have with anyone or even with yourself. And so
it's like I was trying to tell myself positive thoughts
(08:32):
and let it go. Let it go. You don't have
to hold onto things. I'm not I wasn't gonna think,
I was gonna think. But therapy to answer your question,
I think can be really helpful when you are in
a crisis and when you need help. And I have
been there when I when the books and the podcasts
(08:53):
and what I know intellectually I can't put into practice
because I'm so far you know, in a downward spiral,
I can't get out and so so crisis.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
When you need help, you what is your thought then?
On what I hear from people oftentimes is that you, yes,
crisis and you need help, is fine, but you need
regular checkups to where you need to go once a week,
twice a week or whatever, mean once every two weeks
or what it may be. Well that there's an argument
there that we do use it too much for a
(09:23):
crisis instead of as a regular checkup.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I mean, I think it's such a personal individual thing
and if it works for you, that's great. I have
had so much.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Therapy over the last fifteen years it's absurd.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I don't even want to know how much money I've spent,
but at least I feel like I spent it towards
something that was going to make me better.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yes, Scott, thank goodness you spent that money, because I
am the beneficiary of all Oh my god, I am
the beneficiary of all that money spent.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It's a work in Progressjay, it's a work in progress.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Uh yeah, but today we do have And folks have
heard plenty of times on this podcast even but over
the years, if they follow you on social media, people
have heard the name Nikki a whole lot. Nicky, Nicky, Nicki,
Nicki Nikki. And you hear so much about Nikki because
Nikki is the best You have been your best friend eight.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Years, yeah, eight, maybe even more.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Maybe even more. But Nikki, I let you. We're gonna
introduce her. She's sitting here with us in there Heart Studios,
and she's somebody we are obviously has been a delight
to us and has served us so well in so
many ways. But I want you before don't do an introduction, Okay,
I would really like for you to describe your relationship
(10:45):
with her. Don't don't introduce her. She's this, and she's that,
she's a textan Filipino and that we get into all that,
but what she is to.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You, she is my rock.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
She is the person I turned to when I'm in
isis beetn emotional. I don't think I could have made
it through last year without her. She is that person
who is always there. I can count on her for
anything and everything. If it's two am, if it's two pm,
wherever she is, she would drop anything and everything because
(11:20):
she is like the warmest, sweetest, kindest, most selfless person
I've ever met. And I actually feel like I don't
deserve her as a friend, that's how good of a
person she is. And she is just I call her
Yoda because she's so wise and she's hilariously doesn't know
(11:41):
basic stuff sometimes, like she didn't know what a fern was. Well,
I don't know why that sticks out of my mind,
but there's a funny story there, because it's just like
silly stuff like that. She'll ask like what's that? Like
are you kidding me right now? But she will be
so wise and have so much insight to things that
(12:02):
just blow your mind. And when I need to be grounded,
or I need to get perspective, or I just need
a friend, she is the person that I am so
grateful to be able to turn to because she's just
I call her a unicorn.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yoda and unicorn, those are the two things I call.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Wow, we have listeners who we have to leave this
to your imagination. So put Yoda and a unicorn together.
That's nicky, and that's uh, that's a Yoda unicorn baby,
and that's nicky. And get that in your mind. And
you know it's funny you call a Yoda because she
is about his height.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
She is not an insult, not an insult. She gets it.
She's four foot eleven.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
And at this point, you again, you introduced me to her,
and she has been around with me the entire time
I've known you. But she's known essentially Samine her entire life.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah. I think's known you is almost as long as
she's known me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
But it's fun now that we sit here and that
my little one that she's known since one a year old,
literally a year old, Sabina is not taller than she is.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
That's wild. So folks, a lot of folks out there
have called her and looked and they've asked you, what
is she your? Have you adopted her? Yep? Is she
are you related?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
What else have they?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
They they asked if she's my daughter, which was a
kind of offensive, but okay, offensive because I'm not old
enough to be her mom. She's a forty year old woman.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Oh okay, so what does that say about me? Sorry anyway,
but she looks so young to be fair, that's true.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
That's true. And also they've also questioned, are platonic or not?
Like there's been a question as to whether or not
we have a more than platonic relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
You Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
People have absolutely raised their eyebrows and said, what's going
on with you too?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Do you answer?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I was like, are you kidding me right now?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's not a so I no, obviously, I know.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Absolutely speaking Okay, everybody like, can I talk?
Speaker 4 (14:17):
We I've also gotten assistant. People have many people have
asked if I've am your assistant? I've gotten everything. So
because I did live with you upstate during quarantine. First
of all, Also, just real quick, thank you guys for
having me. I'm very nervous right now. Team then I
feel very calm here at peace.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yay. Well, I was gonna say it's Nikki a spina,
but hilariously, because of what you look like on Instagram,
your handle people call you Nike.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, so my handle is actually Nick Espina. And y'all's
first podcast. Actually, when you call you, when you said
my name Nikki, I got a few d MS saying
I always thought your name was Nike, Nike Spina, and
so many people wing and saying I thought the same thing.
So because of y'all's podcast, it's NICKI, it's Nicole Denise Espina,
(15:08):
and I go by Niki.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Yes, so you are still no, no at all, no,
no at all No.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
There's like maybe two people that ever called me.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
To Cole, I asked her to describe her relationship with you.
I'll do the same. You describe your relationship with this one.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Well, first of all, I had to like look away
when you introduced me because you started tearing up. And
when she cries, I cry, and everyone in here already knows.
I'm pretty nervous because there are certain people that belong
on camera or in front of a microphone. I'm not
one of those people. I get nervous. I get like
very shy, and I'm just like I was actually just
texting with Anna, your youngest, and I was like, she
(15:54):
was talking me through this.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
She was like, just be yourself, Nikki.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
So the same thing with Anna and Ave of course,
like I've seen Sabine grow up.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
But even I'm calling bulls. See you right now, people, Okay,
see you right now. You are lean back in the chair,
more comfortable than you're one of us. Yeah, you're holding
your microphone as if you're about to be a playlist
or something. Right, they can stop.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Oh my goodness, it's because of your amazing team that
are making me feel very comfortable and y'all, of course
I feel I'm with my family now. So but my
heart is beating like crazy right now. But so I
to look away because you were crying. And we actually
spent like two hours on the phone yesterday bawling her
eyes out, just talking about life and not even like
bad tears, but good tears. But back to the question, See,
(16:42):
some people really just don't fly like I digress. Sorry, Amy,
She is my rock, her and her family, her and
her two girls. I swear they are my family. They
are my chosen family. I love my actual family, and
I very much love my chosen family. You guys have
been with me for eight years. I definitely want to
(17:05):
get into the story of how we met, because that
is actually one of the biggest questions I get. But
first I just want to talk about us, like just
so many people. I was just telling my boyfriend this
the other day, that so many people wish that they
had such close friendships. And I'm thinking, as a forty
year old woman now, who just I turn forty in December,
so many people would kill for such a close friendship.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Right.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
It's to the point that people question it in a sense.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
But it's literally like we go through college and your
friends are right there in the dorms, They're right there
in your sororities or your fraternity or whatever. And then
when I moved back to New York City long story shore,
I lived here, I moved away. I came back in
twenty ten, and for the first few years I was
actually I lived by myself on this in this tiny,
(17:51):
little Upper east Side apartment, and I was just I'm
a personal trainer.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I was just working.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Then I would go home. I was working, I would
go home. I have a close friend group.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Amy, you are my sister, you are my best friend,
You're my free therapist. So talking about therapy and everything,
but I crying about two hours, just life changes toole,
life change, life changes, anxiety, anxiety also just literally yeah, why,
(18:22):
I'm a very like introspective person head in Yota, So
I'm just constantly thinking, just like overthinking. I'm a big overthinker.
Amy's like always talks me down. She's like, you're overthinking this,
or but just live stuff, live changes with everything, be
it with I was actually crying a little bit about
like Anna moving away, honestly, like that's something I can
(18:44):
literally start crying about, Like Ava's in Germany, but she
still lives here at n YU and just even literally
the thought of Anna moving away, So don't start crying.
I won't Anna moving away in a few months to
go off to college. We're not sure still she hasn't
chosen which college yet she wants to go to. But
just the thought of that, I can literally just start crying.
I had just got done with work and I called
(19:04):
you up and we're just literally chatting on the phone
for like a solid hour or two just about life
and about the books and about the podcast that we
listened to.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
And we just we share, we share podcasts and ideas
and yes, and we're just we're we're really sappy like that.
But we were constantly supporting one another. I think absolutely
when we have anxiety, which is amazing. Absolutely, you want
to go back. And the story of how we met
is pretty funny because it's not what people would think
(19:33):
favorite story.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
It's literally one of my favorite stories.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
I needed a dog sitter.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I actually worked at ABC Radio. I don't know if
y'all know, I don't. I know you knew this. The
thought of making a cubicle is so funny to me.
Definitely not me. I ever going back to a cubicle
or I did fit.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yeah, anyway, So I did that for about a year,
and that's how a lot of people think, I know you.
Actually I did that for about a year. This is
two thousand and it just wasn't me. I just knew
I wasn't meant to be working there, and I wanted
to travel. I wanted to live elsewhere because I loved
New York so much. I love New York so much
that I was like, if I don't leave now, I'm
(20:12):
never gonna leave. So I ended up moving to Hawaii
for a few months. Then I went off to Brazil
for a few months, and then I was like, Okay,
I'm ready to go back to New York City twenty ten,
and I was like, I'm gonna pursue personal training. My
aunt in the Philippines was a personal trainer. She's the
one I really looked up to look up to still,
so I pursued that, got my certification in that So
twenty ten, i work at New York Sports Clubs and
(20:35):
I'm getting certified to become a trainer. And in the meantime,
obviously I had to pay the bills, so I'm not
yet a trainer. I don't want to train a new
one until I'm actually certified. So I get a job
at Quicksilver on Fifth Avenue, right by a Rockefeller Center.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Quicksilver is a like a surf brand, surf brand, skate brand.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
It's one of my favorite brands. I was like, and
I don't mind retail. I've always enjoyed retail. I did
that through all throughout college. So I did that while
I'm also working at New York Sports Clubs as a
a as I'm getting my certification.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Right and Sarah Haynes walks in.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
So Sarah Haynes.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Walks in one July summer day in twenty ten, and
long story short, one of the coolest girls. We just
hit it off and she gives me her card and
she actually became my very first client. We're training and
she and I'm talking about my love for dogs, and
she was like, would you ever want to dog sit
one day? Is that a possibility? Like your like apartment
(21:30):
sit enjoy my apartment on the Upper West Side at
the time, or Hell's kitchen this is where she lived.
And I was like, sure, I love dogs, of course,
let's do this. So I start not only training her,
I'm dog sitting for her. And then let's fast forward to.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Well you you you trained, so you trained Sarah? You
you you dog sat for her. Then she introduces you
to ginger Z.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
To ginger Z in twenty fourteen, so then you're dog
and I think start dog hitting and did you train
dog or just not dream her?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I just dogs. I loved her dog so much. I
actually dog sat dog walk.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I actually gave up a few clients to walk her
dog every day because I loved him so much.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Nicki loves dogs and she loves kids she doesn't have.
And then you so I was twenty fifteen. I go
to ginger and I needed a dog sitter, and she
was like, actually I know this girl. I met her
through Sarah Haynes, and she also is a personal trainer.
If you need that, I'm like, actually that it sounds amazing.
Will you give me her number? So if you look
in my phone when your name comes up, it still
(22:31):
says it says trainer, Nikkia. Yeah, that doesn't say dog sitter.
That wasn't your trade. You're a trainer. And so you started,
you know, helping me out walk and not really walking Brody,
but taking care of him when I'm traveling, apartment sitting yep.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
And then and then I said I'd actually love a
personal trainer.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
So I was coming out of breast cancer, and I
knew I wanted to get, you know, more fit after
everything I'd been through. So you and I started training.
And the one thing about Nicki is when she trained someone,
she's not just physically training them. It's also I learned
a therapy session to go back to our theme therapy.
So I started thinking, like, this girl is so interesting.
(23:10):
I mean, she and the training would just fly by
because we'd be talking about our feelings and what we
think about the about life and all of this stuff.
And so I started learning things about you, and you
told me at that point, and I find this so
interesting that you were eight years sober, that's right. And
I started asking you questions and you explained what happened.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
So back in I think my last drink, like I
partied haired in college, and then my first few years
here that one year in New York City, Hawaii as well.
When I got back from Hawaiian and Brazil, I got
back here and I was just like, I didn't have
a great experience at a party once, at a work
(23:55):
party once, and I was like, I'm done, Like I
just don't want to drink anymore. So when I got
back from Brazil in twenty ten, I was like or
two thousand and nine or so, I was like, I think,
I'm just not going to drink.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
And I just was able to cut it out of
my life. Cold tricky.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
So I get back to New York City. I'm putting
all my energy into training and working and everything. And
at the same time, I didn't really have like a
close friend group or anything. Didn't have y'all at the
time or anything. So I was just like, I don't
I'm just not going to drink. And I just wasn't
tempted to, I didn't feel like I needed to, didn't
want to. So for eight years I just did not
(24:30):
have one drink. And then it wasn't until I met
my group of friends that i'm very still like, still
very close to. I was like, I finally feel like
I found a group of people that I feel safe
drinking with.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yeah, and I started eating back into it as a woman.
That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yeah, And then you eat back and how and how
do you feel now about about your drinking habits. I
feel very very.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Healthy with it. It's not something.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I'm a social drinker. I love like the you actually
taught me this phrase. I drink to enhance joy, not
to mask pain.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
So I I love it.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
I love going out to our our lunches getting rose.
I love our run to run to fun. Whenever I
go running with you guys, let's grab it be speaking
to the afternoon now, yeah, fun. Because I feel safe
with y'all. I feel safe with with you know. I
think that's a big thing. Actually, just when I won't
just drink with anybody, I need to know that I'm
(25:27):
in a safe environment.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
So I have a very healthy relationship with it.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
But I enjoy it. I have fun.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
I love a good glad. Are we gonna get rose
after this?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Can we?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Well it's not dry January anymore? Yes, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And I wanted to be clear that you you had
a bad experience, but you didn't have some drinking. Probably.
I just wanted to make sure.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Yeah, yeah, Actually I.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
Appreciate you meuntioning that because there were only a lot
of people. Yes, yes, yes, actually I appreciate you saying
that it was an uh No, I never I know,
was never addicted.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I was never like an alcoholic or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Someone else who put you in an uncomfortable situation and
you didn't feel like being under the influence in any
way helped the situation.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
So it was scary.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
It was actually at at my first corporate job and
it was a work party, and it just it it
was just not a good situation to get.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
It was just wasn't a good situation.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Do you remember the date of that party?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
December something two thousand.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Wow, Because something is different. Like so when I said
she should knowed that, she also has this incredible memory.
Where so a if you ever are going to be
in any sort of disagreement, and we don't fight that much.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
We've had a couple fights.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Sure, but I would never dare say I said or
didn't say something, because you would be able to almost rebate.
Tell me what I said, or but I didn't say that.
You say it in the nicest way, like I don't
think that's what you said. Actually, keeping on the stay, Yeah,
and then you can tell me the date that it happened,
and you can sometimes you can tell me what I
was wearing.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Oh my gosh, I could tell you the dates I met.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Y'all say, I'm trying to think, move to our audience
right now. Oh god, that she does it. No, you
wouldn't fail to test, obviously. But it's been bizarre the
times we can say when was the thing and you
go boom right off the top of your hands.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Just recently, you guys were like, hey, when did you
go to Marie's crisis with a Nick and Adam last year?
And I said it was April seventh of twenty twenty three,
but Amy pulled up the pictures like she was right,
it was April seventh. Right, I can little thing like
document it on my little things also like sure, my mind,
my brain, but also pictures and stuff. I love taking pictures, videos,
(27:31):
I love documenting like you know, Instagram stuff.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
But it's because of that, like pictures from Oh we
took it on April seventh.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
All right, So what's the day you met TJ?
Speaker 4 (27:39):
So there was an actual day that I met TJ
at the studio in Times Square with Sabine, Little Sabine,
she was so cute's so little, But that was in passing.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
That was in passing, Oh TJ. Sabine.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
But when we actually, like, the first day I babysat
Sabine was June first, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
WHOA.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
So I and I do know this because the day
before Amy me, Amy, like us and some friends went
out and we're all just having drinks and enjoying.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Oh, TJ.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Holmes needs a babysitter tomorrow. Is there any chance that
you're interested? I was like, oh, hell yeah, let's do
this all right, I'm gonna test you again. What's the
first what's the first day that we met that you
(28:35):
came and dogs hat? The first day that I dog set? Well, okay,
either one more day we met or the first day
you dog sat.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
First day we met was August thirteenth, twenty fifteen. Oh
my gosh, it's weird. And I'll always remember when I
met you. Guys, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And you remember the first day you came over to
watch Brody. It was two days later, like August fifteenth, that.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
We had so at Oh was that just us three? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I didn't even remember Robert.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
I actually remember it was August sixth, twenty twenty three,
because Amy and I went shopping that day and then
you met up with us. We were shopping in Soho
and then you met up with us at that place
on Houston.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
I don't even remember the corner there, guys.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I have the worst memory.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
I am the opposite of detective, but the favorite one
for me.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
And you'll remember there was a particular something between the
two of us that you she's already you sat I
think you're the only witness to this, right, Okay, He
sat up in a dead sleep and woke up and
shouted out my birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
I know this.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Hold on, this is a fun game.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
It was.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
It was Halloween. It was hollow because we went to
Ava show.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
We walked through that parade. Yep, we get to your apartment.
I were on the couch I fell asleep watching a movie.
TJ's on the floor, and then out of nowhere, I
was talking to TJ. I don't know, you just scream
August nineteenth. And he goes, wait, what did you just say?
And then you don't even remember that.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I didn't remember. The next day I was in work,
TJ walks by my dressing room and he said, hey, Robes,
when's my birthday? And I was like, huh. And so
I looked to my producer, Danesca, and she's I look
at her, and we have we have we can make
eye contact.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
She knows what I mean. She's like, I'm looking it up.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
So she looked it up and she whispers to me
August nineteenth and I say, I'll get nineteenth. And he
said did you know that? I said no, Daneska just
told me. He's like, do you know what you said
last night on the couch? Nope, I screamed August nineteenth.
We still can't understand it. I don't think anyone will
believe it unless you witnessed it.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Again, you were the only Nikki's only witnessed it. But
this was before there was anything between.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Yeah, they were just friends. This is years before two years.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Before at you a complete dead sleeps new and I
were just we're just talking. We're the World Series game
or football game.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yes, I ordered pizza out.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
And we're talking. Everybody else's passed out, and you just
shut up on the couch, spread out nineteenth.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
It's weird. I don't even have an explanation for it.
It's one of those boobs.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
Halloween of twenty twenty one, twenty twenty one, Yes, twenty
twenty one.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
There it is.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah, Oh my goodness, it's anyways, if you guys need
help with your.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Day, have you heard of I mesia? I have not.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
They say, that's what you have. It's someone's ability to
spontaneously recall the dates and details of events that happened
in their life.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Wow. Yeah, And oh my gosh, even small ones like
you it. I can't tell you how many times it
happens where you all just kind of be saying what
was that, and you'll just shout out the exact date
and then, like I said, you can tell me what
I'm where I was wearing sometimes, Oh my gosh. Really weird.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Oh absolutely, but you remember when you wore that?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
No?
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Also, because like I just I have pictures too.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
It's like, like it doesn't matter. I have pictures too.
I have I have the opposite condition that you have.
I can't remember anything. I'm like when it humh, oh
my god. It's a fun little game we can play.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
We can I love the can do day.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
So wait, So if you google Nikki Aspina, I did
it today. There's there's a lot of you out there.
But one of the funny things you will find if
you google Nikki Aspina is she made headlines. You. You
went viral last year because of how you live and
where you live and how much you pay to do that.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
Oh my gosh, everyone knows how much I do.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
It's New York City. But please tell our listeners because
this is going to blow your mind everyone.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
First of all, how much as you're.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
In seventeen fifty Okay, that sounds great, rights, yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
In New York. Now, what is the square foot of
your apartment?
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Eighty square feet?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Eighty eight note eight hundred eighty.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Square feet, which so basically here's the story with that.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
So have you guys heard of Calebsimson.
Speaker 4 (33:08):
He is known for going up to people in the
streets spontaneously and being like, hey, excuse me how much
do you pay for rents in New York City? And
they'll stop and be like two thousand dollars, three thousand dollars.
So I came across his videos his Instagram exactly a
year ago, about a year ago, and jokingly, I was
just scrolling through his feed and I loved it, and
(33:28):
one of my friends was like, Nikki, you should ask
him on I reposted a video of his One of
my friends was like, you should get him to come
to your micro studio.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
So I put.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Jokingly on my store, Caleb Simpson, come toward my micro studio.
He responds within ten minutes saying when can I come
over to do the store. I actually didn't respond for
maybe twelve hours because I was like, I was kind
of kidding, and I don't know if I want you
coming over to my place.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
And I get nervous about things like this. So I
was you know who encouraged me to do it?
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Right?
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Anna? Oh yeah, it's typical.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yeah, And he's like yoo, yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
She was literally like just you, it'll be fine. She
helps me like figure out what I was going to
wear on it, and everything was so funny. Anyways, long
story short, he comes over and he very cool guy. Him,
the guy that shot the video or whatever, come over.
Very cool guys. They're literally only over for maybe twenty
thirty minutes because there's not well, it's.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Just you don't have to tour it.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
They about to ask you where your bed was.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
Oh my goodness, So I have a which is funny
because this is the most amount of I get dms
left and right about my Murphy bed, which, by the way,
it came completely furnished.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
So not completely furnished.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
I bought. Well then totally worth the bright Oh totally
and there's free WiFi. Oh oh wow great?
Speaker 1 (34:45):
How do you furnish eighty square feet?
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Well, I do want to also say so when I
was looking at it in twenty nineteen, Amy comes over.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
I honestly don't know what your thoughts were. When I
showed it to you.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I thought it was size she gets perfect for you.
Speaker 4 (35:02):
So literally I was like, this is where I want
to live. So mind you, I lived in an actual
studio what you're calling it?
Speaker 1 (35:07):
TJ.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yeah, that was like, what did I call that place?
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Oh my gosh, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
So he lived in basically an empty you I said
it was a sad divorced man's apartment. Yeah, so I right,
it was your place day.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
There was nothing like I used to So I consider
myself a minimalist, as in, I don't own a lot
of stuff this old place on the Upper east Side. Literally,
dad nothing hanging on my walls, and I had a
twin size bed.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I didn't even have a TV.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
It was so sad.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
And when you take a picture frame, Amy and an
Ava came to it was that that big blizzard that
happened and they came to stay at my place that
one night, and anyways, it was just there's no decorations.
So long story short, I lived there for ten years,
you guys on the Upper east Side, and then I
was just spending all my time down in the West
Village with our you know, you live down there. Joan
(36:07):
Preston lived down there. Pretty much everyone lived down there
that I was hanging out with. I was like, I'm
gonna try to get downtown. Actually, so I looked at
so many places, like maybe twenty places in twenty nineteen
while we're training for the marathon, and then all of
a sudden, this micro studio pops up on Street Easy
and I'm like, this is the one.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
So I look at it and I actually got approved
within like a week.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
No one else, no one else, because none of it
live in.
Speaker 4 (36:33):
Eighty square heats except for actually a very good point.
So in the sense of so I see it, it's
I have to show you guys pictures.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
So it's viral. Everyone check it out on callobseay. You
have five million views or something, which is easy.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
People like it's jaw dropping to see someone living in
eighty square quakeness.
Speaker 3 (36:49):
And if you read the comments there, so one moaning
c you have like how many like how many plates
do you have?
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Lates? I have four plates, three bowls.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah, I can literally tell you everything little, but I'm
just a big So when I lived in Hawaii, I
racked up a lot of debt, and when I got back,
I was like, I got to pay off this debt,
and I ended up selling a bunch of This is
how I got into minimalism.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Selling.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
I kept everything from college. I used to actually like
be a packer. I used to keep every little thing,
even receipts.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
It was just so weird. So I go back to
my parents' house.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
I stay there before I moved to Brazil, for a
few months, for maybe two months with them, and while
I'm there, I actually sold everything that I wasn't using.
I was like, I don't need I used to surf,
I don't need three surfboards. I'm gonna sell them. Am
I using these? So let me sell these? So I
actually made enough money to pay off the debt I
racked up in Hawaii. And it was then that I
(37:43):
was like, I don't need a lot of stuff. Minimalism
to me is because one of the biggest comments I
like left and right, so it goes either or so
many people saying this is so great? How did you
get into minimalism? And then there are definitely a lot
of people are like, oh my gosh, you are crazy.
Workers are crazy, Like why would people want to pay
that much to First of all, not everyone.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Does this, like lives the way I do, but I
just it was worth it to live.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
I can be at your place in ten minutes, and
that was I could be at Joe and Preston's place
in ten minutes, like TJ I could be at your
place in twenty minutes.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
It's just perfect for you because you were close to
your friends and like a lot of stuff anyway.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
So it works.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
As much as people might think it's crazy, it absolutely
works for you and your personality. I want to make
sure we touch on you travel the same way too.
You have like I'll have like two bags, you have
one backpack. We've traveled the world together. We've run marathons together.
We've climbed mountains together. NICKI was with me when we
somebody did kill him and Jarrow. We have obviously we've
(38:47):
run how many.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Two marathon grown together? Okay for wow, I've wow, I've missed.
I missed a couple.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
We've done four marathons together. We did the challenge of
doing Chicago and New York together. And so you have
been amazing and you weren't even a run or to
begin with, you became You actually said you would bike
next to me while I ran on a run. Forward
to later that year, she's running the New York City
Marathon with me. So that just speaks to how when
you put your mind to something and you say you can't,
(39:14):
it's amazing what you can do. And you've been a
huge example of that. I want to ask you what
your next challenge is, because you're always challenging yourself. You
said you wanted to do trail running, which I think
is just such a difficult thing to do because we
hike and we run, but putting them together is a
very difficult thing. But I'm curious because I don't even
(39:35):
know the answer to this. What is your next big challenge?
What do you want to accomplish this year?
Speaker 1 (39:40):
This year?
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Oh wow, I think you you nailed it. I would
love to sign up for a trail race. I was
supposed to do one a few months ago. I ended
up not doing it, but I would love to.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Obviously did one on Staten Island. I didn't even know
that was I forgot about that. That was the run
in Sutn Island. Like I mean, I learned in the
city from you every day.
Speaker 4 (40:03):
So like New York City is like just this big
playground and when you can find people that you enjoy
just exploring the city with, it just makes it all
the more better. And y'all are that to me, like
all our cool runs that we go do you We're
gonna go pick up some bean from school here in
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
I'm so excited, And just little things like that.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
But my big, my big next goal, I would say,
would be a Trail Race, and also I would love
to get back into doing another mountain. That's definitely. I
don't know about this year, but I think trail Race
would probably be top of the list.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
For Yeah, we did cook theos Go together too, so
we've done two of the seven Summits together with.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
We Yeah, the weather, the web, it was why we
climbed the comitted, the second and third highest peaks in
the Alps.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
And that was actually the hardest thing I've ever done
in my life.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
That was very difficult. We were that rying, actually harder
than I was bawling the entire time. Conditions were rough
because we got to do two and you got to
do I know, we felt like, yeah, it was pretty tough.
I want to Also, there's so many I said she
was a unicorn in Yoda.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
You are officially now not single, But the entire time
I have known you, you have been single, and you
were officially single, like never had a boyfriend correct, correct
until you were thirty nine years old, till I was
there changed for you.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (41:25):
Well honestly, so up until then, I've always been this
this unicorn as you call it or whatever, I have
always just like lived like my motto is played by year.
I love to just go with the flow. Just what
my friend group is everything to me. But it was
just right time, right place, this amazing guy that I'm dating,
(41:45):
who I know because of you, Aby, it was just
the right time and the right person. Honestly, just the
right person. He's the one of the most amazing people
have I just literally was just telling him this yesterday.
He's one of the best souls, one of the kindest,
most Jenner people you will ever meet. And we have
so much fun together. We're just exploring the city together
and he's very adventurous too. He loves to hike mountains.
(42:06):
He he and I spontaneously ran a race two weeks ago.
We signed up for it the day before. He did
the five k and I did a half marathon.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
And you need to be spontaneous to be with you. Yeah,
I think that that's a big thing for me. I
love just like everyone.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
Tatiana was actually like, talk about play it by your Nikki,
because I was telling her I was going to be
on this. But you know, from the beginning, I've always
been like, let's play it by her. You never know
when your last day on Earth is or anything, or
how even just this day will end. Let's just feel
it out, let's play it by your let's go with
the flow and just see you know where the wind
takes us. And I've always been that way ever since
I was young.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
And yeah, I'm so happy for you. It's so happy
to see you.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
In love and with someone who I have always admired,
who I've done a lot of traveling with. I climed
Mount Fuji with him. Actually, so sorry, the perfect I
love seeing the two of you together. It's amazing. And
something else I want to point out, you actually were
the only person probably who was witnessed to TJ and I.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
I believe so was.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
There's a lot of people who have a lot of
timelines in their mind or what they think happened or what,
but you know, you saw it all happen. Oh my gosh,
I saw it happen. I actually, I will say this.
I had one one of your loyal fans.
Speaker 4 (43:18):
She literally was like, one day, you should be on
the podcast, and I'd be like, ha ha, Hai would
be terrible on her podcast because I'm a nervous person.
But she literally wrote this the other day. Shout out
to this random very kind stranger. But she was like
talk about like how how how you guessed that they
were together? And I this is how I guessed because
I never saw you happier. I never saw you happier.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Because TJ has mentioned a couple of times, and I
understand he was you know, he didn't know that you knew,
but you guessed, and you you came to me and
I couldn't lie.
Speaker 4 (43:48):
There was you couldn't lie. There was just a new
sparkle in your eye and I just knew that. And
that was fall of twenty e was fall twenty two.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yes, exactly, yep, fall of twenty right or the cameras
caught us and I hate oh, I didn't say caught
us right before the cameras documented something we wanted to
keep private.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
Absolutely, So I knew from the very beginning. I remember
you calling me telling me about like, you know, all
the new changes with you know, everything that was going
on back in August, which you have you know, publicly
talked about too. But it was until September of twenty
twenty two then I was just like started to notice something.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Yeah, I just saw how much more light you were?
Is that okay to say?
Speaker 4 (44:28):
Just like you were just happier and in the sense
of just you were like, what's going on? Yeah, I
was like, tell me, tell it, Like how do I
find this?
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (44:38):
But then I just being with you guys, I've been
I was just telling Chris this the other day. You
guys are my family. You so being ava anna DJ
oh my good, it's TJ. You guys are my family.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (44:50):
And I that is at the end of the day
to me, like I'm a minimalist, I don't have much,
but I am rich because I have of a chosen
family of want my actual family.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
I'm very close to them too. To me, that is
what life is.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
It's it's connection, it's community, it's real deep friendship that
we're talking about real life stuff with. It's not just
just having fun. Yes, we can have fun, but it's
deep talk. Even just before we started the podcast, we
were talking about like deep talk and you're immediately You're like,
you want to come pick the bean up. I'm like, yes,
I do. Like that's just such an honor, you know,
(45:27):
to be just trusted And like I recently read somewhere
in one of my self help books, I love self
help books. People just want to be seen, safe and supported,
and I feel like that with y'all. I know I
have my community out here, and that's what makes me
internally rich, is that I can live in a tiny,
little micro It makes me happy because I get to
see you guys every day, and that to me is joy, and.
Speaker 3 (45:50):
That, to me is life. So I texted DJ scene,
what is it? Scene supported?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Safe?
Speaker 3 (45:57):
Scenes supported? I said, I said it wrong. I just
screwed it up. But I might have.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
Ours for I think you. Yeah, we were talking about
that yesterday, nicky Uh, I think everyone. I'm glad everyone
gets to meet you and know you because you are
such a special soul. And thank you for getting over
your nerves. I know that you weren't exactly you know,
thrilled about performing and you're not performing. I said, you
just have to talk about you, which is what Anily
(46:26):
told you as well. And so we just we want
to thank you for always being a part of our family.
You are our family. I mean TJ has said that
plenty of times.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
Well again, think about scenes. I'd spend more time with you,
and you're more of a part of her family than
many of her relatives are. So I mean, that's just
the way things have gone. But yeah, it's she doesn't
know life without you. So I'll say that publicly and
how much I love you and adore you and thank you.
I'll say that publicly, but I say it to you
privately too.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, you are the sister that I've never had, and
you were an aunt to my daughters.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Oh my goodness. I call them my big little sister niece.
Speaker 4 (47:00):
That's what I call them, because I learned from them too,
and soon that will be so being in the sense
of a big little sister me or whatever, just his
little sister that sounds like a new taller than me
and a wiser than me more wise, definitely. But I
learn a lot from them. And but thank you, guys.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
Let's go to lunch.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Okay, we love you. We gotta get to being.
Speaker 3 (47:21):
We gotta go to lunch.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
But thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
Having on, I love you, guys.
Hosts And Creators
Amy Robach
T.J. Holmes
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