May 13, 2025 • 35 mins
When Erin Steele saw seniors light up around children, she had an idea for combining a senior living facility and a childcare center into one place! And there's all kinds of benefits for both generations by being with one another everyday. Meet The Heritage Home in Alma, Kansas.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
And some of our seniors have cognitive deficits, and so
the kids are actually mentors to them.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So like our preschool class just a few weeks ago
did an Easter egg where they had to had to
match the colors, and we have a lady that isn't
able to do that anymore, and these preschoolers go and
they're helping her.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I mean, it's like completely flipped.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
But like that that empathy and compassion and that's they
don't question that because.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
They know her and they know that she can no
longer do that. They also know that she has a
story where she used to be able to do that.
Do you know what I mean? She used to be
a teacher, and I do. I do a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Actually, how could you not watch it?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
It is and it's natural, it's very natural. Like a
lot of those things I don't plan, They just happen.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
And even in my sketch books, I didn't sketch those things.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
They just are When you put people together and they're
actually building relationships, beautiful things happen.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.
I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father.
I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in
inner city Memphis, and the last part it somehow led
to an oscar for the film about our team. That
movie is called Undefeated. Guys, I believe our country's problems
(01:26):
will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people
in nice suits using big words that nobody ever uses
on sinon and box, but rather by an army of
normal folks. That's us, just you and me, deciding hey,
maybe I can help. That's what Aaron Steele, the voice
you just heard, has done. Aaron is the founder of
(01:48):
the Heritage Home, an intergenerational senior living facility and childcare
center in Alma, Kansas, which basically means she's combined a
nursing home and a childcare center into one place, and
there's all kinds of benefits for the seniors and for
(02:09):
the kids being with one another every day, which I
cannot wait for you to hear about right after these
brief messages from our general sponsors. Aaron Steel, Welcome to Memphis.
(02:39):
Thank you from where do you hail?
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I'm from Wamego, Kansas, which okay, kind of in between
Tapeaka and Manhattan.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I feel like we should do a hea hal salut
when we say one mego, how me go?
Speaker 3 (02:50):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
How many folks live in Onemigo, Kansas.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I don't even know, maybe five thousand somewhere around there, so.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Have a small area. Hou's flight in flew in, right, yep, just.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Yeah, that's right. So I've seen it all.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
But yeah, yeah, I'm glad Alex picked you up. Sometimes
he makes guess take ubers or he is laid.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
He made it very easy on me, Yes, yeah he did.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Maybe he's improving at his job. What do you think
it was only the one time I hear I bought
that car stopped working one month. Then yeah, that's one
of the guests that I had an uber from the airport.
Oh no, it's because he bought a hooptie that didn't work.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Well, CarMax A good impression.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Quite embarrassing, really, I love it. So Aaron, who is
Anita Morn.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So I was actually telling him I don't actually know her.
I think she knows my brother that lives in western Kansas.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So here's here's what we got on April seventeenth to
twenty twenty four, which means it took Alex a whole
year to get you here, so nice job. Way to
work on it quickly. Good job, Alex.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
The first note was just singing our praises you Google.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh read that first though, because it's good. Oh okay.
March twenty seven, twenty twenty five, see you jumped on it.
Nice job out. Anita Maran is a listener and she
just said thanks to the micro podcast for introducing us.
I was on Mike's podcast or Mike was online. We
were on both, but I don't know what she listened to.
And she said, I've become addicted to your podcast. So Anita,
(04:18):
thank you for your addiction. I hope it's healthy. Then
on March twenty seventh, Anita said, I am attaching a
video to this message about a woman who has started
the Heritage Home in a small town here in Kansas.
I really don't know her, but her brother works for us,
and we all know about the family and the Heritage Home.
(04:38):
Her family is big boy, that's an understatement. We'll get
to that in a minute. And they have a beautiful
life story, one worth listening to please enjoy. And we
watched that video and we said, yep, we got to
get air into Memphis. So that's for our listeners to
kind of introduce how we know you. I think Germaine
to the story is certainly how you grew up. Why
(05:01):
don't you take us to that chaos. It may not
have been chaos, but when I read about it, I
think it's chaos because that many people in one household
is insanity to me.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
For me, it was just normal. I grew up in
the family.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I was number twelve of eighteen, so I mean that's
just that was life for me.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I didn't know any different.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
No twins, same two parents.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Same two parents. That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
My mom wanted a dozen babies, and my dad just
really liked my mom and said, okay, whatever.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
You want, honey.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Eight teens, eighteen kids, all right. When I read that
and then watched the video of you and thought of it,
how many bedrooms were in your home?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
So we had well, the boys had like what we
called a dormitory in the basement, so I mean literally
it was a big, huge, open room that they just
had beds, and that was pretty much.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
If you were a senior in high school, you got
your own room in the basement.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So there was that when you were a senior and
got your own room, and then the girls. We had
three rooms upstairs that we shared, and then we had
a study that we've turned into a room.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
There was a bed and living room.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You know, what did your father and mother do for Well,
your mother had to have just raised children. There's no
way to work outside the home with eighteen kids as there.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
She pretty much did until she did start working when
my youngest brother, well actually my second youngest brother was born,
she started working. But my dad was a postmaster and
then my mom.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I mean a good living, sure, but eight how do
you feed that many people?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
They my dad went to the store every single day
for bread and milk. He would stop at the store
after work, that is true. Yeah, and there were times
you knew, you know that we were waiting for a
paycheck because we might have ham and beans for four days.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
But I mean, for the most part, they just did
whatever they had to do. My mom also did work.
She would do like.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Evenings and nights, you know what I mean, to kind
of supplement or she that's how she paid for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And I think on that web, I think on that
video there were pictures of you as a kid with
some of your siblings that had to have been I
mean you say, for you, it was what you knew,
so it was normal, but you had to have known.
Nobody else was one of eighteen. But it looked like
you guys were thickest thieves and just had a cool
life together.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
We absolutely, I mean we were very close. We fought
like normal siblings. I mean I had my moments that
like my sister that was four years younger than me,
I hated her, you know when I was in high
school and she was middle school. I mean we had
all those but for the most part, we were very
close and your best friends were your siblings. And it's
still kind of that way. There was always someone to
play with, always someone to do something with.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
You know, what was the spread? What's the youngest of
the oldest, Like when the youngest was one? How old
was the oldest?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Let's see, I think Jimmy's the oldest, and he would
have been, well, he's fifty fifty six, fifty seven, don't
quote me, and Tigan's.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Thirty twenty yeah, twenty six years.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
She had one every year until me and then stir breastfeeding.
Then it's every other year that intil the last two
are a little spread.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Apart, but that is on the Anybody ever suggest your
mom and dad to get.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
A hobby, well that was usually the joke growing up.
That was usually what everybody said to me, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
But you know, I my mom was Catholic, my dad converted,
so you know, they had their beliefs that way. But
my mom always wanted a dozen kids. And like I said,
my mom pretty much got what she wanted. And my
dad just said, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Did she drive a school bus? I mean, how in
the world.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
We had around stretched blue van and literally, I mean
it was it was a stretch van.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
We and we'd just pile out. We the high schooler
would drop, you know, make all the stops at the schools.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And I bet, I bet pileout. I just died when
they saw y'all comment.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yep. When we traveled, we would sleep on the floorboards.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
That's old school.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, I mean we didn't have like I was fine.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
My mom would hold one up front and be several
of us laying on the floorboards and.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
The Yeah, it's just it seems to me growing up
like that though, as tight and piled down on top
of each other. You have to be with all the
love and everything else that has to be inherent in
a home like that. You do have to develop a
sense of understanding of the people next to you, some
empathy and that kind of thing. I mean, am I
(09:23):
grasping there or do you think that's right? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I absolutely think that's right. I think the biggest thing
you learn is you can't be selfish. Nothing is really
ever just about you. So you kind of learn at
a very young age to give to others, you know
what I mean, You share everything, and if you don't, then.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
There's seventeen others that don't like you.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I mean, you know there was a time where you
try to hoard, like cookies or things like that. But
I mean we from a very young age you shared
everything you had. You didn't get everything you wanted. We
passed on things. That's just what we learned, and I
think we all have those qualities as adults because of that.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I think that's so healthy.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
It absolutely is.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
As a mom, I only have three children, so trying
to teach those lessons to your kids when maybe they
could have what they want.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
But we just learned it naturally. We didn't get everything
we wanted.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
You know, there was a time I felt very jaded
because of that, you know, like during your selfish year
is probably middle school, high school. But then now I'm like,
oh my gosh, like I see how much that made
me into the person I am.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Now I love that. So we have four and four
years and I've always thought that was chaos until I
heard your story, and now I know we're just pikers.
But one of my things was even when my business
started doing well, and certainly I wouldn't describe what we
(10:45):
became as rich, but we started making a nice living
and we bought a bigger house with a couple of acres. Well,
that's a lot of grass, and it was all landscape.
So it's a lot of grass, it's a lot of mold,
it's a lot of trimming, it's you know, Lisa Love's ivys.
We had an ivy all over the place, which is
the biggest nightmare in the world because you have to
cut it every week. A lot of edging. I had
(11:06):
four able bodied human beings that can run along more
and a weed eater and clipper and bend over and
put crapping bags. And Sunday after church was yard day. Period.
That was it because Saturday kids are playing sports and
all that, and listen, after running a business coaching football team,
I assure you there were some sundays after church I
(11:27):
would have love to have just sat down and had
a beer and watched football or something, but that wasn't
the deal. And I remember when Molly, who is my
second child, was eleven or twelve that age, she comes
around a corner driving a hefty dragging a hefty bag
full of grass clippings, and she is sweating and her
(11:49):
face is red and her lips are pierced, and she
is angry as hell, and she looks at me in
this nice neighborhood that I've moved my family in, it says,
why can't we just have a ard man like normal people?
And I said, honey, the very question is why we
don't have a yard man. Now today, my grown children,
(12:09):
who are thirty twenty nine to twenty eight twenty seven,
all tell me they will never have a yard man.
The children will not have phones until they're sixteen, they
will not have video games, and they will go outside
and skin their knees and bust their lip and sweat
and have those problems. Because as bad as they hatedly
send me at those days at that age. They now
(12:31):
know that that was the very best way for them
to grow up. They all plan on raising their children
the same way. How do you raise yours?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
You know, I just put family first.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I mean that's kind of how I grew up, and
I think it was kind of natural, like we always
did things together as a family, and my kids kind
of have grown up that way, whether it's their cousins
or their And I think, yeah, work ethic is a huge,
huge thing, like, you know, we'll get into the business,
but my kids literally helped us do everything in that
(13:01):
to get it going.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
They will kind of tease the first year we bought it,
their phrase was, I can't my mom bought a nursing home. Can't.
We can't go on naication, We can't this, We can't that,
you know. But what they're learning from that experience is
far greater than.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
One of the dues and don'ts of an interview is
never ask a question you don't know the answer to,
because you might get thrown off guard. I did not
know the answer to the question that I asked you
just now, but I absolutely suspected it. Given the way
you grow up, what you're doing now, so it's not surprising,
but I think it's beautiful. And now a few messages
(13:39):
from our general sponsors. But first, our next live interview
in Memphis will be on June twelfth with Father Mark Hannah.
Father Mark and a team of four other civilians saved
over fifty lives on nine to eleven and the rest
of his team died while trying to save more people.
(14:00):
After nine to eleven, Mark became a Coptic priest and
hence the father title. It's part of our lunch and
listen series that we've been doing at Crosstown Concourses Myphis
Listening Lab and you can learn more and RSVP at
Fathermark dot Eventwright dot com. We hope to see you there.
(14:23):
We'll be right back. So congratulations on your family. So
what'd you do? You left the family of eighteen and
(14:43):
you go get You wanted to be in something and
you did something else. Take me through that stage of life.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And sure all that my youngest brother has down syndrome.
So I was very intrigued in special education. The last one,
the last one, the very last one, which was he
had some health condition also, and so the doctor said
no more, surely, no more kids than you can't, which
is why she probably stopped. But otherwise, so he I
always kind of had a passion for that, and so
(15:10):
in high school I kind of shadowed in a special
ed classroom and did that and loved it, and that's
kind of what I thought. I wanted to do special education.
Uh huh, kind of go be a teacher. I was
supposed to startcase State and live with my sister, which
maybe would have not been a great thing because we
got into some trouble together, but nonetheless I found it.
I was pregnant a couple of weeks before I was
(15:32):
supposed to startcase Dates, so I kind of changed trajectories.
And then when I had my daughter, I remember kind
of being like, well, I have my daughter, and I
watched my sister have a kid, and I was like,
I want to be that's what I want to do.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
I want to be a nurse.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
And so I kind of changed what I what my
plan was and decided I want to be a nurse,
and I wanted to be an OB nurse. And I've
never been an OB nurse, but.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
That's you know, and you married your sweetheart, yeah, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So my husband and I started dating when we were
junior and senior who he happened to be my brother's
best friend.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
And not going did your brother take that? He went
running and he didn't speak to us for about them month.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Really is that right? Then?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
He's our you know, my daughter's godfather, and he was
my husband's best man.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
But he didn't he didn't take it very well at all.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, that's so even in a family of eighteen, big
brothers are still being big brother.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yes, absolutely, absolutely, and he was pretty protective anyway.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
So but yeah, so then.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Where did your husband live? By the way, it was pretty.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Close across the street from us.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Well that made it too convenient.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
It was a little too convenient.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Yeah, I mean, I mean, when there's eighteen people in
this house and only a couple over here, there's a
pretty good place to go hang out.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Absolutely. Actually our first kiss. All of my siblings were hiding.
I shouldn't say all of them, not all of them.
There was a handful of my little sisters.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
They'll tell the story. They were sitting kind of behind
the bushes, like.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
There's no way all of your siblings said behind a bush,
there's bush big enough. There's no big enough bush. Todd seventeen,
So this is high school neighborhood sweetheart. Yep.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
So we got married then a year our daughter was
thirteen months old when we got married.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Got it.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
He he got a job for West Star. It's kind
of an energy He worked at a power plant. And
that kind of allowed me.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
To go to school.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
And you became a nurse.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I became a nurse.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah, and I've I kind of started, you know, along
the track of med surge, which they kind of recommend,
you know, get your experience.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I've done a lot of different things.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Probably the most paralleled to what drew me to Obi
was like, I was a hospice nurse for four years
and I loved that. I was very passionate about it,
which I kind of bring into what I do now.
You know, hospice is the idea is six months or
less to live. But you know, for me working with elderly,
you know, you might get a year or two. You know,
(17:56):
you get to spend yes, you get to spend their
final days typically with them and hopefully make them meaningful,
not just six months.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
All right, So now let's let the listeners in on this.
You are the founder of Heritage Home, which is something
I've never read before, and I'm gonna get there. Just
you sit over in hush, gosh, just sit there and
push buttons and make the sound right. All right. You're
(18:28):
the founder of Heritage Home and Intergenerational Senior Living Facility
and Childcare Center and Alma, Kansas. So we're gonna say that, okay,
and just let that marinate. I'm gonna say it again,
Intergenerational Senior Living Facility and Childcare Center in Alma, Kansas.
(18:51):
Now we'll just let that marinate. What yeahoo, take us.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
So I after hospice, I started kind of working in
senior care, you know, so nursing, your traditional nursing homes.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I worked in several of those, so you.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Were the nurse in the home, in the nursing home.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
In the nursing home.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
So I kind of started long term care working in
that field and really fell in love with that.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Is that like assisted living or take me help me,
because I've I don't know. There's there's like assisted living,
then there's full health, there's like levels of senior living,
right sure, yeah, absolutely, so explain those.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
So I worked in skilled nursing facility, which is I
mean the highest level of a nursing home, your traditional
nursing home what we probably all picture when you talk
about a nursing home.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I also worked in one that was very similar to
assisted living.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
So I was the nursing supervisor at that one, and
I did that during COVID, and of course nursing homes
kind of traditionally have a depressing feel. I grew up
being scared of nursing homes. My grandma was, well, my
great grandma was in one, and it was like smelly and.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Scary, and everybody I just I just had like this.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Stick anybody, No, No, it's the smell, it's all the things.
And so I kind of which is interesting because then
I ended up working in one. But during COVID, it
was just so depressing, and you know, as a team,
you're doing everything you can to kind of boost them
around in the facility. They're lonely, they're isolated, they're not
(20:29):
seeing their family, and so you know, we're spending all
this money, all this resources, trying to rack our brains
to find things to make them happy. And we had
a preschool come do an East Ray hunt, which there's
no contact. I mean, that was when you know they
could watch from the window.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
You know, we can't tell.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
No. It was literally we were inside watching out the
window and these kids were just doing an East Ray
hunt and the joy like that brought to them.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I thought, that's kind of the ticket, Like, that's what
we need to do. It's kids like you know that
bring them joy.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And so then I kind of the idea kind of
started to evolve. And originally it was going to be
I was going to do a playground at my nursing home.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I was like, I'm going to do my own and
I'm going to do this, and then it kind.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Of evolved into a childcare there where you can actually
build relationships, not just watch kids play or actually interacting.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And okay, let's let's take a quick diversion, because I
think it's worth talking about one. I talked to a
guy today three hours before meeting you, who said he
was concerned about his grandmother dying of loneliness, far before
she died of anything that was a physical element that
(21:45):
would actually at take her life. He said, she is
just sad. How real is that in the nursing home world?
Is that is that a one off? Or is that
more times than not talk about that?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I mean, I would say that's definitely I mean depression
is like nursing homes.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I mean that is probably the memory. Yet absolutely I.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Think some of it is just for them, maybe this
is the last like this is all you know, I
move here and this is it. A lot of it is,
you know, you're taking away everything they love and new
their home there. You know, a lot of times you're
selling their home. There's a lot of factors that play
into that. But in general, it is very depressing for
(22:29):
them to be in a nursing home and people are
very lonely. Not everybody has people that visit them unfortunately,
or you know, and so you know, I have the
intergenerational aspect, but also the care side of things, like
really making it a family like. So the idea is
also my staff are very close to these elderly, like
(22:52):
their family, like their grandkids. You know. It's like a close,
small knit community to where they love them, you know,
and it's like a actually not just their caregiver.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I guess I've.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Heard horror stories often about kind of state run type
institutions that the level of care is substandard, but even
worse than that that there is often abuse in elderly
care facilities that I'm not certainly talking about your yeah
and abuse oftentimes looks like just leaving someone to kind
(23:28):
of rot for an extended period of time, all the
way up to not wanting to hear anybody gripe or
want something. And how real is that in elderly care
around the country.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I would say it's it's very real. I've never, you know,
been a part of that or worked at a facility
that that's happened or as far as I know, but
I do think that is definitely. I mean, you're talking
about people that you're hiring an entry level position and
paying them not very good money to do a very
very hard job. So to find good people to do that, trustworthy,
(24:03):
all of those things.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
My brother in law, Ben is a person with special needs.
He has been a number of different facilities, and it
dawned on me some years ago when you're paying a
twenty one year old not very well trained that they
title versus tech or whatever, which actually requires almost no education,
(24:28):
and you're paying them thirteen bucks an hour to deal
with a very very challenging human being in a very
very challenging environment. It's fraught with.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Opportunity, absolutely, I mean, it takes a very very special
person to do that and do it well, especially for
that money. Like my biggest thing I say in every
interview is you can't be doing this for the money.
You know, you have to have a greater purpose to
do this work or a sign of work.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
You know, we'll be right back. So the whole point
(25:13):
I'm asking these questions is this, I'm fifty six. You
know a lot of people have heard my story. But
my dad left them when I was young, and I
didn't grow up with a whole lot, and I had
a fair amount of dysfunction in my house. I worked hard.
I threw a paper route, I washed cars man, I
(25:33):
hustled up money anywhere I could to have what some
other kids just walked in the house their parents came.
But that's cool too, because that defines who I am.
I got married to a beautiful woman. I've had three
gorgeous children. I have taught school and coach football for
a living, graduated from that because these four kids were
(25:56):
too expensive on that kind of income, and then started
to business and now I employe one hundred and thirty people,
and then this podcast and TV shows and movies, and
I mean, I'm a failed human being. Like all of
us are. But I have worked hard to live a
decent life, just like you have, just like Alex has,
(26:18):
just like Cassius. Alex is raising four kids. Cassius has
this beautiful daughter. Everybody listening to us is doing the
best they can. And you put in that time, and
you put in that effort, and despite your failings, every
day you do, really do try to be a decent
human being, an exact, some measure of good change in
your community. And then maybe you lose your spouse and
(26:41):
you're in your seventies early eighties, and you've lost your
life partner, and you've paid your taxes, you've been a
good community citizen, you've done all of the things you're
supposed to do, and you find yourself in basically a
dorm room. You also don't like the smell, surrounded by
people that you don't know, that aren't your family, hoping
(27:05):
for maybe an hour a week of interaction with somebody
who has your DNA, and your highlight of your day
is probably some really average banana pudding at five thirty.
I mean to me, that's the reality of a lot
of people in our country right now. The very people
(27:25):
you've worked for and served. Is that a fair assessment.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
I think that's a fair assessment.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
That's also kind of what I feel compelled to do
is to make that better for them. You can still
have some enjoyment, you can still do some things, you
can still it doesn't have.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
To be a sad thing. It can be life giving
and you know all.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Of those, which is why you're here because what you're
doing is incredibly special. But absent you sure, I think?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Unfortunately, that's the reality for a lot of people who
have given a ton to our society during their lives,
and to me, that is just so desperately wrong. So
when you hear the depression, that clinical depression is a
big deal in nursing care facilities, well, if you actually
really take stock of it and put yourself in that position,
(28:18):
I'm fifty six. I don't want to be there in
twenty years at seventy six. But the truth is there
are thousands of people in our country that at that
very age, twenty years from where I'm sitting right now,
are in that very situation and they're depressed because they've
led their lives properly and the golden years are not
supposed to be that. But for some they are. We
(28:41):
do a shop talk on Fridays, and I remember it
wasn't long ago. I don't know which remember it was.
I'm just popped in my head. But one of our
listeners called in and challenged us to think about just
going to a nursing home once or twice a week
and beating or hanging out, just keeping somebody company, and
(29:02):
how fulfilling it is. But more importantly, if you'll shut
up and listen, let you might learn from those many, many,
many years of experience and knowledge and wisdom that these
people carry from having lived all their life. Just because
they're old doesn't mean there were any less effective at
life than any of us listening right now, and they
(29:22):
have still a lot to offer.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And I think all of those things you were saying,
you know that you're then you throw in that you're
very vulnerable because you have to rely on someone else
to take care of you. You can't do things for yourself,
and your health may be failing. You know, all of
those things so frustrating. So you're not only in this facility,
in this small room, and all the things you kind
of mentioned, but then your health is failing or you
(29:46):
can no longer do things for yourself, or maybe nobody
can understand you because you have Parkinson's.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
And you slur your words, you know what I mean,
and so.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
But you are exactly right, Parkinson's is not the person,
and so kind of taking the disease out, yes, this
person has way more to offer than just that, you know,
to teach you if you sit and listen, just kind
of what we do with the kids their way.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
They had a full life they you know, and oftentimes.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
The kids are very surprised, you know, they were a
basketball player, they were a football coach, because they're in
a wheelchair and maybe they can't do anything right now
and maybe they're even slumped over and you can't barely
understand them. But they have a life story, you know,
and it's not over and they can still share it.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I also have a soul in a mind, and so that.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
For really, yeah, and to be able to share that
and relive that. That's kind of part of the idea too,
because that brings them joy, you know. That's that's who
they want people to remember them as.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
So I don't know, you're driving around and old folks
home shuts down, you think I want that what happened.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
No, that is not so I kind of I I
would kind of go home.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I worked, you know, in a few different places, and
they all had wonderful qualities, but it just wasn't the
essence of exactly the care I wanted to give.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
And a lot of times in the corporate.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
World you can't make changes because you know, they got
to go through this and this and this and this,
and so I got very frustrated by that process. Even
as a supervisor, you couldn't make those changes that I
felt like needed to happen.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
So I'd go home and my husband kept saying, you're
just going to do it yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Husband, Joe, Joe. So you go home and say, yo, Joe,
I ain't down with this. I got a better idea.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Well probably about five thousand.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Times, and then maybe I whittled him after it took
a minute to say. First he'd say, you got to
do it yourself. You gotta do it yourself, and we did.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
He did say that, yes, well, to his credit, good
for him.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Absolutely so, And I was like, no, I couldn't. Like,
I was like, I don't think I can do that.
But I'm a normal person.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
I plus, I mean, he owes you. He did mess
around with his best friend's sister. He owed you one, right,
that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
He owes me a lot.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Absolutely, No, he was probably the one that encouraged me more.
You know, I I kept I'm just a normal person.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
You know, I can't run a business. I don't know
the first thing about that.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
You're a nurse with an idea, yeah, and a husband
and three children.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah yeah, And we don't come for money. We don't have.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Well that's not even if even.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Everywhere, even if your father left a will, it was
split eighteen ways. There ain't much left.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Well, true story, that is very true.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Everybody gets to go to Applebee's. Yes, that's about it.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
We got to go to McDonald's if we got a's
and we got to go. So if you got straight
a's at semester and then on your birthday, you got
to go to eat.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I got to go. I'm so I got to go
to Wendy's or straight ice on a report card. That's true.
I always raised the same way.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
It was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
It was a huge deal.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
And now my kids are like, we don't want to
eat out.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, yeah, losers, Yeah, spoiled brass. I raised four of
them too. It's terrible.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Anyway, so during you know, we kind of started looking
to build one, but again we're.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Not that's expensive, very expensive.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
And then COVID you know, everything prices and we went
to the bank a few times and it was like,
we're never going to be able to do this. I
am very faith driven, did a lot of praying. I
had this journal that I would literally, I mean, I
just kind of kept ideas to kind of keep me inspired.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
So I had this and I would write.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Down things each night and be texting my sisters, Oh,
this is what I'm going to name it, and you
know whatever, to kind of keep inspired.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
So this nursing home came up for sale.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I had a good girlfriend that lives in Alma, and
she knew my dream and she said, you need to
go look at it. The nursing homes closing and I said,
that's not what I'm that's not what i'm doing, that's
not what i'm thinking.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Nonetheless, as far as almost it's like.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Thirteen miles from where I live in your neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yeah, yeah, and it was. It's a very small town,
so it was very devastating. It was a corporate facility
that was closing. But I was kind of resistant because
that wasn't my idea. I was going to build this,
you know, exactly what I wanted, and da da da.
But we went and my husband pretty much said, if
you're going to do it, I think this is your shot.
You know, financially, it was really the only opportunity. It's
(34:21):
like a twenty six thousand square feet you had to
it had urinals on the floor, and it smelled like
a nursing home and it was very, very run down.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
But he's like, I think we could do it. This
setup was kind of how we we it would work.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And so how are you going to buy this thing?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
My father and mother in law graciously helped us, and
then we my husband and I pretty much put everything
out and your kids scrubbing. Yeah, so they get it
inher a.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Red face and say, mom, why can't we get a
contractor like normal people all the day?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Yeah, pretty much every day.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Too bad.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I think they still are know we have enough to
hire somebody for that yet.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
And that concludes part one of my conversation with Aaron Steele,
and you do not want to miss part two. That's
now we'll be able to listen to together. Guys, we
can change this country, but it starts with you. I'll
see you in Part two.
And some of our seniors have cognitive deficits, and so
the kids are actually mentors to them.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Are you kidding?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So like our preschool class just a few weeks ago
did an Easter egg where they had to had to
match the colors, and we have a lady that isn't
able to do that anymore, and these preschoolers go and
they're helping her.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I mean, it's like completely flipped.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
But like that that empathy and compassion and that's they
don't question that because.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
They know her and they know that she can no
longer do that. They also know that she has a
story where she used to be able to do that.
Do you know what I mean? She used to be
a teacher, and I do. I do a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Actually, how could you not watch it?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
It is and it's natural, it's very natural. Like a
lot of those things I don't plan, They just happen.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
And even in my sketch books, I didn't sketch those things.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
They just are When you put people together and they're
actually building relationships, beautiful things happen.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.
I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father.
I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in
inner city Memphis, and the last part it somehow led
to an oscar for the film about our team. That
movie is called Undefeated. Guys, I believe our country's problems
(01:26):
will never be solved by a bunch of fancy people
in nice suits using big words that nobody ever uses
on sinon and box, but rather by an army of
normal folks. That's us, just you and me, deciding hey,
maybe I can help. That's what Aaron Steele, the voice
you just heard, has done. Aaron is the founder of
(01:48):
the Heritage Home, an intergenerational senior living facility and childcare
center in Alma, Kansas, which basically means she's combined a
nursing home and a childcare center into one place, and
there's all kinds of benefits for the seniors and for
(02:09):
the kids being with one another every day, which I
cannot wait for you to hear about right after these
brief messages from our general sponsors. Aaron Steel, Welcome to Memphis.
(02:39):
Thank you from where do you hail?
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I'm from Wamego, Kansas, which okay, kind of in between
Tapeaka and Manhattan.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I feel like we should do a hea hal salut
when we say one mego, how me go?
Speaker 3 (02:50):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
How many folks live in Onemigo, Kansas.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I don't even know, maybe five thousand somewhere around there, so.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Have a small area. Hou's flight in flew in, right, yep, just.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Yeah, that's right. So I've seen it all.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
But yeah, yeah, I'm glad Alex picked you up. Sometimes
he makes guess take ubers or he is laid.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
He made it very easy on me, Yes, yeah he did.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Maybe he's improving at his job. What do you think
it was only the one time I hear I bought
that car stopped working one month. Then yeah, that's one
of the guests that I had an uber from the airport.
Oh no, it's because he bought a hooptie that didn't work.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Well, CarMax A good impression.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Quite embarrassing, really, I love it. So Aaron, who is
Anita Morn.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So I was actually telling him I don't actually know her.
I think she knows my brother that lives in western Kansas.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So here's here's what we got on April seventeenth to
twenty twenty four, which means it took Alex a whole
year to get you here, so nice job. Way to
work on it quickly. Good job, Alex.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
The first note was just singing our praises you Google.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Oh read that first though, because it's good. Oh okay.
March twenty seven, twenty twenty five, see you jumped on it.
Nice job out. Anita Maran is a listener and she
just said thanks to the micro podcast for introducing us.
I was on Mike's podcast or Mike was online. We
were on both, but I don't know what she listened to.
And she said, I've become addicted to your podcast. So Anita,
(04:18):
thank you for your addiction. I hope it's healthy. Then
on March twenty seventh, Anita said, I am attaching a
video to this message about a woman who has started
the Heritage Home in a small town here in Kansas.
I really don't know her, but her brother works for us,
and we all know about the family and the Heritage Home.
(04:38):
Her family is big boy, that's an understatement. We'll get
to that in a minute. And they have a beautiful
life story, one worth listening to please enjoy. And we
watched that video and we said, yep, we got to
get air into Memphis. So that's for our listeners to
kind of introduce how we know you. I think Germaine
to the story is certainly how you grew up. Why
(05:01):
don't you take us to that chaos. It may not
have been chaos, but when I read about it, I
think it's chaos because that many people in one household
is insanity to me.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
For me, it was just normal. I grew up in
the family.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I was number twelve of eighteen, so I mean that's
just that was life for me.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I didn't know any different.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
No twins, same two parents.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Same two parents. That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
My mom wanted a dozen babies, and my dad just
really liked my mom and said, okay, whatever.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
You want, honey.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Eight teens, eighteen kids, all right. When I read that
and then watched the video of you and thought of it,
how many bedrooms were in your home?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
So we had well, the boys had like what we
called a dormitory in the basement, so I mean literally
it was a big, huge, open room that they just
had beds, and that was pretty much.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
If you were a senior in high school, you got
your own room in the basement.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So there was that when you were a senior and
got your own room, and then the girls. We had
three rooms upstairs that we shared, and then we had
a study that we've turned into a room.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
There was a bed and living room.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You know, what did your father and mother do for Well,
your mother had to have just raised children. There's no
way to work outside the home with eighteen kids as there.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
She pretty much did until she did start working when
my youngest brother, well actually my second youngest brother was born,
she started working. But my dad was a postmaster and
then my mom.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I mean a good living, sure, but eight how do
you feed that many people?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
They my dad went to the store every single day
for bread and milk. He would stop at the store
after work, that is true. Yeah, and there were times
you knew, you know that we were waiting for a
paycheck because we might have ham and beans for four days.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
But I mean, for the most part, they just did
whatever they had to do. My mom also did work.
She would do like.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Evenings and nights, you know what I mean, to kind
of supplement or she that's how she paid for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And I think on that web, I think on that
video there were pictures of you as a kid with
some of your siblings that had to have been I
mean you say, for you, it was what you knew,
so it was normal, but you had to have known.
Nobody else was one of eighteen. But it looked like
you guys were thickest thieves and just had a cool
life together.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
We absolutely, I mean we were very close. We fought
like normal siblings. I mean I had my moments that
like my sister that was four years younger than me,
I hated her, you know when I was in high
school and she was middle school. I mean we had
all those but for the most part, we were very
close and your best friends were your siblings. And it's
still kind of that way. There was always someone to
play with, always someone to do something with.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
You know, what was the spread? What's the youngest of
the oldest, Like when the youngest was one? How old
was the oldest?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Let's see, I think Jimmy's the oldest, and he would
have been, well, he's fifty fifty six, fifty seven, don't
quote me, and Tigan's.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Thirty twenty yeah, twenty six years.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
She had one every year until me and then stir breastfeeding.
Then it's every other year that intil the last two
are a little spread.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Apart, but that is on the Anybody ever suggest your
mom and dad to get.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
A hobby, well that was usually the joke growing up.
That was usually what everybody said to me, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
But you know, I my mom was Catholic, my dad converted,
so you know, they had their beliefs that way. But
my mom always wanted a dozen kids. And like I said,
my mom pretty much got what she wanted. And my
dad just said, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Did she drive a school bus? I mean, how in
the world.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
We had around stretched blue van and literally, I mean
it was it was a stretch van.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
We and we'd just pile out. We the high schooler
would drop, you know, make all the stops at the schools.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And I bet, I bet pileout. I just died when
they saw y'all comment.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Yep. When we traveled, we would sleep on the floorboards.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
That's old school.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, I mean we didn't have like I was fine.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
My mom would hold one up front and be several
of us laying on the floorboards and.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
The Yeah, it's just it seems to me growing up
like that though, as tight and piled down on top
of each other. You have to be with all the
love and everything else that has to be inherent in
a home like that. You do have to develop a
sense of understanding of the people next to you, some
empathy and that kind of thing. I mean, am I
(09:23):
grasping there or do you think that's right? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I absolutely think that's right. I think the biggest thing
you learn is you can't be selfish. Nothing is really
ever just about you. So you kind of learn at
a very young age to give to others, you know
what I mean, You share everything, and if you don't, then.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
There's seventeen others that don't like you.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I mean, you know there was a time where you
try to hoard, like cookies or things like that. But
I mean we from a very young age you shared
everything you had. You didn't get everything you wanted. We
passed on things. That's just what we learned, and I
think we all have those qualities as adults because of that.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I think that's so healthy.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
It absolutely is.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
As a mom, I only have three children, so trying
to teach those lessons to your kids when maybe they
could have what they want.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
But we just learned it naturally. We didn't get everything
we wanted.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
You know, there was a time I felt very jaded
because of that, you know, like during your selfish year
is probably middle school, high school. But then now I'm like,
oh my gosh, like I see how much that made
me into the person I am.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Now I love that. So we have four and four
years and I've always thought that was chaos until I
heard your story, and now I know we're just pikers.
But one of my things was even when my business
started doing well, and certainly I wouldn't describe what we
(10:45):
became as rich, but we started making a nice living
and we bought a bigger house with a couple of acres. Well,
that's a lot of grass, and it was all landscape.
So it's a lot of grass, it's a lot of mold,
it's a lot of trimming, it's you know, Lisa Love's ivys.
We had an ivy all over the place, which is
the biggest nightmare in the world because you have to
cut it every week. A lot of edging. I had
(11:06):
four able bodied human beings that can run along more
and a weed eater and clipper and bend over and
put crapping bags. And Sunday after church was yard day. Period.
That was it because Saturday kids are playing sports and
all that, and listen, after running a business coaching football team,
I assure you there were some sundays after church I
(11:27):
would have love to have just sat down and had
a beer and watched football or something, but that wasn't
the deal. And I remember when Molly, who is my
second child, was eleven or twelve that age, she comes
around a corner driving a hefty dragging a hefty bag
full of grass clippings, and she is sweating and her
(11:49):
face is red and her lips are pierced, and she
is angry as hell, and she looks at me in
this nice neighborhood that I've moved my family in, it says,
why can't we just have a ard man like normal people?
And I said, honey, the very question is why we
don't have a yard man. Now today, my grown children,
(12:09):
who are thirty twenty nine to twenty eight twenty seven,
all tell me they will never have a yard man.
The children will not have phones until they're sixteen, they
will not have video games, and they will go outside
and skin their knees and bust their lip and sweat
and have those problems. Because as bad as they hatedly
send me at those days at that age. They now
(12:31):
know that that was the very best way for them
to grow up. They all plan on raising their children
the same way. How do you raise yours?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
You know, I just put family first.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I mean that's kind of how I grew up, and
I think it was kind of natural, like we always
did things together as a family, and my kids kind
of have grown up that way, whether it's their cousins
or their And I think, yeah, work ethic is a huge,
huge thing, like, you know, we'll get into the business,
but my kids literally helped us do everything in that
(13:01):
to get it going.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
They will kind of tease the first year we bought it,
their phrase was, I can't my mom bought a nursing home. Can't.
We can't go on naication, We can't this, We can't that,
you know. But what they're learning from that experience is
far greater than.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
One of the dues and don'ts of an interview is
never ask a question you don't know the answer to,
because you might get thrown off guard. I did not
know the answer to the question that I asked you
just now, but I absolutely suspected it. Given the way
you grow up, what you're doing now, so it's not surprising,
but I think it's beautiful. And now a few messages
(13:39):
from our general sponsors. But first, our next live interview
in Memphis will be on June twelfth with Father Mark Hannah.
Father Mark and a team of four other civilians saved
over fifty lives on nine to eleven and the rest
of his team died while trying to save more people.
(14:00):
After nine to eleven, Mark became a Coptic priest and
hence the father title. It's part of our lunch and
listen series that we've been doing at Crosstown Concourses Myphis
Listening Lab and you can learn more and RSVP at
Fathermark dot Eventwright dot com. We hope to see you there.
(14:23):
We'll be right back. So congratulations on your family. So
what'd you do? You left the family of eighteen and
(14:43):
you go get You wanted to be in something and
you did something else. Take me through that stage of life.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
And sure all that my youngest brother has down syndrome.
So I was very intrigued in special education. The last one,
the last one, the very last one, which was he
had some health condition also, and so the doctor said
no more, surely, no more kids than you can't, which
is why she probably stopped. But otherwise, so he I
always kind of had a passion for that, and so
(15:10):
in high school I kind of shadowed in a special
ed classroom and did that and loved it, and that's
kind of what I thought. I wanted to do special education.
Uh huh, kind of go be a teacher. I was
supposed to startcase State and live with my sister, which
maybe would have not been a great thing because we
got into some trouble together, but nonetheless I found it.
I was pregnant a couple of weeks before I was
(15:32):
supposed to startcase Dates, so I kind of changed trajectories.
And then when I had my daughter, I remember kind
of being like, well, I have my daughter, and I
watched my sister have a kid, and I was like,
I want to be that's what I want to do.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
I want to be a nurse.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
And so I kind of changed what I what my
plan was and decided I want to be a nurse,
and I wanted to be an OB nurse. And I've
never been an OB nurse, but.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
That's you know, and you married your sweetheart, yeah, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So my husband and I started dating when we were
junior and senior who he happened to be my brother's
best friend.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
And not going did your brother take that? He went
running and he didn't speak to us for about them month.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Really is that right? Then?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
He's our you know, my daughter's godfather, and he was
my husband's best man.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
But he didn't he didn't take it very well at all.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Yeah, that's so even in a family of eighteen, big
brothers are still being big brother.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yes, absolutely, absolutely, and he was pretty protective anyway.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
So but yeah, so then.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Where did your husband live? By the way, it was pretty.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Close across the street from us.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Well that made it too convenient.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
It was a little too convenient.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Yeah, I mean, I mean, when there's eighteen people in
this house and only a couple over here, there's a
pretty good place to go hang out.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Absolutely. Actually our first kiss. All of my siblings were hiding.
I shouldn't say all of them, not all of them.
There was a handful of my little sisters.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
They'll tell the story. They were sitting kind of behind
the bushes, like.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
There's no way all of your siblings said behind a bush,
there's bush big enough. There's no big enough bush. Todd seventeen,
So this is high school neighborhood sweetheart. Yep.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
So we got married then a year our daughter was
thirteen months old when we got married.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Got it.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
He he got a job for West Star. It's kind
of an energy He worked at a power plant. And
that kind of allowed me.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
To go to school.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
And you became a nurse.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
I became a nurse.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah, and I've I kind of started, you know, along
the track of med surge, which they kind of recommend,
you know, get your experience.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I've done a lot of different things.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Probably the most paralleled to what drew me to Obi
was like, I was a hospice nurse for four years
and I loved that. I was very passionate about it,
which I kind of bring into what I do now.
You know, hospice is the idea is six months or
less to live. But you know, for me working with elderly,
you know, you might get a year or two. You know,
(17:56):
you get to spend yes, you get to spend their
final days typically with them and hopefully make them meaningful,
not just six months.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
All right, So now let's let the listeners in on this.
You are the founder of Heritage Home, which is something
I've never read before, and I'm gonna get there. Just
you sit over in hush, gosh, just sit there and
push buttons and make the sound right. All right. You're
(18:28):
the founder of Heritage Home and Intergenerational Senior Living Facility
and Childcare Center and Alma, Kansas. So we're gonna say that, okay,
and just let that marinate. I'm gonna say it again,
Intergenerational Senior Living Facility and Childcare Center in Alma, Kansas.
(18:51):
Now we'll just let that marinate. What yeahoo, take us.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
So I after hospice, I started kind of working in
senior care, you know, so nursing, your traditional nursing homes.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I worked in several of those, so you.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Were the nurse in the home, in the nursing home.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
In the nursing home.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
So I kind of started long term care working in
that field and really fell in love with that.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Is that like assisted living or take me help me,
because I've I don't know. There's there's like assisted living,
then there's full health, there's like levels of senior living,
right sure, yeah, absolutely, so explain those.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
So I worked in skilled nursing facility, which is I
mean the highest level of a nursing home, your traditional
nursing home what we probably all picture when you talk
about a nursing home.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I also worked in one that was very similar to
assisted living.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
So I was the nursing supervisor at that one, and
I did that during COVID, and of course nursing homes
kind of traditionally have a depressing feel. I grew up
being scared of nursing homes. My grandma was, well, my
great grandma was in one, and it was like smelly and.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Scary, and everybody I just I just had like this.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Stick anybody, No, No, it's the smell, it's all the things.
And so I kind of which is interesting because then
I ended up working in one. But during COVID, it
was just so depressing, and you know, as a team,
you're doing everything you can to kind of boost them
around in the facility. They're lonely, they're isolated, they're not
(20:29):
seeing their family, and so you know, we're spending all
this money, all this resources, trying to rack our brains
to find things to make them happy. And we had
a preschool come do an East Ray hunt, which there's
no contact. I mean, that was when you know they
could watch from the window.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
You know, we can't tell.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
No. It was literally we were inside watching out the
window and these kids were just doing an East Ray
hunt and the joy like that brought to them.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I thought, that's kind of the ticket, Like, that's what
we need to do. It's kids like you know that
bring them joy.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And so then I kind of the idea kind of
started to evolve. And originally it was going to be
I was going to do a playground at my nursing home.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I was like, I'm going to do my own and
I'm going to do this, and then it kind.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Of evolved into a childcare there where you can actually
build relationships, not just watch kids play or actually interacting.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And okay, let's let's take a quick diversion, because I
think it's worth talking about one. I talked to a
guy today three hours before meeting you, who said he
was concerned about his grandmother dying of loneliness, far before
she died of anything that was a physical element that
(21:45):
would actually at take her life. He said, she is
just sad. How real is that in the nursing home world?
Is that is that a one off? Or is that
more times than not talk about that?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I mean, I would say that's definitely I mean depression
is like nursing homes.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I mean that is probably the memory. Yet absolutely I.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Think some of it is just for them, maybe this
is the last like this is all you know, I
move here and this is it. A lot of it is,
you know, you're taking away everything they love and new
their home there. You know, a lot of times you're
selling their home. There's a lot of factors that play
into that. But in general, it is very depressing for
(22:29):
them to be in a nursing home and people are
very lonely. Not everybody has people that visit them unfortunately,
or you know, and so you know, I have the
intergenerational aspect, but also the care side of things, like
really making it a family like. So the idea is
also my staff are very close to these elderly, like
(22:52):
their family, like their grandkids. You know. It's like a close,
small knit community to where they love them, you know,
and it's like a actually not just their caregiver.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I guess I've.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Heard horror stories often about kind of state run type
institutions that the level of care is substandard, but even
worse than that that there is often abuse in elderly
care facilities that I'm not certainly talking about your yeah
and abuse oftentimes looks like just leaving someone to kind
(23:28):
of rot for an extended period of time, all the
way up to not wanting to hear anybody gripe or
want something. And how real is that in elderly care
around the country.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I would say it's it's very real. I've never, you know,
been a part of that or worked at a facility
that that's happened or as far as I know, but
I do think that is definitely. I mean, you're talking
about people that you're hiring an entry level position and
paying them not very good money to do a very
very hard job. So to find good people to do that, trustworthy,
(24:03):
all of those things.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
My brother in law, Ben is a person with special needs.
He has been a number of different facilities, and it
dawned on me some years ago when you're paying a
twenty one year old not very well trained that they
title versus tech or whatever, which actually requires almost no education,
(24:28):
and you're paying them thirteen bucks an hour to deal
with a very very challenging human being in a very
very challenging environment. It's fraught with.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Opportunity, absolutely, I mean, it takes a very very special
person to do that and do it well, especially for
that money. Like my biggest thing I say in every
interview is you can't be doing this for the money.
You know, you have to have a greater purpose to
do this work or a sign of work.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
You know, we'll be right back. So the whole point
(25:13):
I'm asking these questions is this, I'm fifty six. You
know a lot of people have heard my story. But
my dad left them when I was young, and I
didn't grow up with a whole lot, and I had
a fair amount of dysfunction in my house. I worked hard.
I threw a paper route, I washed cars man, I
(25:33):
hustled up money anywhere I could to have what some
other kids just walked in the house their parents came.
But that's cool too, because that defines who I am.
I got married to a beautiful woman. I've had three
gorgeous children. I have taught school and coach football for
a living, graduated from that because these four kids were
(25:56):
too expensive on that kind of income, and then started
to business and now I employe one hundred and thirty people,
and then this podcast and TV shows and movies, and
I mean, I'm a failed human being. Like all of
us are. But I have worked hard to live a
decent life, just like you have, just like Alex has,
(26:18):
just like Cassius. Alex is raising four kids. Cassius has
this beautiful daughter. Everybody listening to us is doing the
best they can. And you put in that time, and
you put in that effort, and despite your failings, every
day you do, really do try to be a decent
human being, an exact, some measure of good change in
your community. And then maybe you lose your spouse and
(26:41):
you're in your seventies early eighties, and you've lost your
life partner, and you've paid your taxes, you've been a
good community citizen, you've done all of the things you're
supposed to do, and you find yourself in basically a
dorm room. You also don't like the smell, surrounded by
people that you don't know, that aren't your family, hoping
(27:05):
for maybe an hour a week of interaction with somebody
who has your DNA, and your highlight of your day
is probably some really average banana pudding at five thirty.
I mean to me, that's the reality of a lot
of people in our country right now. The very people
(27:25):
you've worked for and served. Is that a fair assessment.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
I think that's a fair assessment.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
That's also kind of what I feel compelled to do
is to make that better for them. You can still
have some enjoyment, you can still do some things, you
can still it doesn't have.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
To be a sad thing. It can be life giving
and you know all.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Of those, which is why you're here because what you're
doing is incredibly special. But absent you sure, I think?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Unfortunately, that's the reality for a lot of people who
have given a ton to our society during their lives,
and to me, that is just so desperately wrong. So
when you hear the depression, that clinical depression is a
big deal in nursing care facilities, well, if you actually
really take stock of it and put yourself in that position,
(28:18):
I'm fifty six. I don't want to be there in
twenty years at seventy six. But the truth is there
are thousands of people in our country that at that
very age, twenty years from where I'm sitting right now,
are in that very situation and they're depressed because they've
led their lives properly and the golden years are not
supposed to be that. But for some they are. We
(28:41):
do a shop talk on Fridays, and I remember it
wasn't long ago. I don't know which remember it was.
I'm just popped in my head. But one of our
listeners called in and challenged us to think about just
going to a nursing home once or twice a week
and beating or hanging out, just keeping somebody company, and
(29:02):
how fulfilling it is. But more importantly, if you'll shut
up and listen, let you might learn from those many, many,
many years of experience and knowledge and wisdom that these
people carry from having lived all their life. Just because
they're old doesn't mean there were any less effective at
life than any of us listening right now, and they
(29:22):
have still a lot to offer.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And I think all of those things you were saying,
you know that you're then you throw in that you're
very vulnerable because you have to rely on someone else
to take care of you. You can't do things for yourself,
and your health may be failing. You know, all of
those things so frustrating. So you're not only in this facility,
in this small room, and all the things you kind
of mentioned, but then your health is failing or you
(29:46):
can no longer do things for yourself, or maybe nobody
can understand you because you have Parkinson's.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
And you slur your words, you know what I mean,
and so.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
But you are exactly right, Parkinson's is not the person,
and so kind of taking the disease out, yes, this
person has way more to offer than just that, you know,
to teach you if you sit and listen, just kind
of what we do with the kids their way.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
They had a full life they you know, and oftentimes.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
The kids are very surprised, you know, they were a
basketball player, they were a football coach, because they're in
a wheelchair and maybe they can't do anything right now
and maybe they're even slumped over and you can't barely
understand them. But they have a life story, you know,
and it's not over and they can still share it.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I also have a soul in a mind, and so that.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
For really, yeah, and to be able to share that
and relive that. That's kind of part of the idea too,
because that brings them joy, you know. That's that's who
they want people to remember them as.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
So I don't know, you're driving around and old folks
home shuts down, you think I want that what happened.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
No, that is not so I kind of I I
would kind of go home.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I worked, you know, in a few different places, and
they all had wonderful qualities, but it just wasn't the
essence of exactly the care I wanted to give.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
And a lot of times in the corporate.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
World you can't make changes because you know, they got
to go through this and this and this and this,
and so I got very frustrated by that process. Even
as a supervisor, you couldn't make those changes that I
felt like needed to happen.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
So I'd go home and my husband kept saying, you're
just going to do it yourself.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Husband, Joe, Joe. So you go home and say, yo, Joe,
I ain't down with this. I got a better idea.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Well probably about five thousand.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Times, and then maybe I whittled him after it took
a minute to say. First he'd say, you got to
do it yourself. You gotta do it yourself, and we did.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
He did say that, yes, well, to his credit, good
for him.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Absolutely so, And I was like, no, I couldn't. Like,
I was like, I don't think I can do that.
But I'm a normal person.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
I plus, I mean, he owes you. He did mess
around with his best friend's sister. He owed you one, right,
that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
He owes me a lot.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Absolutely, No, he was probably the one that encouraged me more.
You know, I I kept I'm just a normal person.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
You know, I can't run a business. I don't know
the first thing about that.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
You're a nurse with an idea, yeah, and a husband
and three children.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah yeah, And we don't come for money. We don't have.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Well that's not even if even.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Everywhere, even if your father left a will, it was
split eighteen ways. There ain't much left.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Well, true story, that is very true.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Everybody gets to go to Applebee's. Yes, that's about it.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
We got to go to McDonald's if we got a's
and we got to go. So if you got straight
a's at semester and then on your birthday, you got
to go to eat.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I got to go. I'm so I got to go
to Wendy's or straight ice on a report card. That's true.
I always raised the same way.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
It was a big deal.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
It was a huge deal.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
And now my kids are like, we don't want to
eat out.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, yeah, losers, Yeah, spoiled brass. I raised four of
them too. It's terrible.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Anyway, so during you know, we kind of started looking
to build one, but again we're.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Not that's expensive, very expensive.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
And then COVID you know, everything prices and we went
to the bank a few times and it was like,
we're never going to be able to do this. I
am very faith driven, did a lot of praying. I
had this journal that I would literally, I mean, I
just kind of kept ideas to kind of keep me inspired.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
So I had this and I would write.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Down things each night and be texting my sisters, Oh,
this is what I'm going to name it, and you
know whatever, to kind of keep inspired.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
So this nursing home came up for sale.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I had a good girlfriend that lives in Alma, and
she knew my dream and she said, you need to
go look at it. The nursing homes closing and I said,
that's not what I'm that's not what i'm doing, that's
not what i'm thinking.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Nonetheless, as far as almost it's like.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Thirteen miles from where I live in your neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yeah, yeah, and it was. It's a very small town,
so it was very devastating. It was a corporate facility
that was closing. But I was kind of resistant because
that wasn't my idea. I was going to build this,
you know, exactly what I wanted, and da da da.
But we went and my husband pretty much said, if
you're going to do it, I think this is your shot.
You know, financially, it was really the only opportunity. It's
(34:21):
like a twenty six thousand square feet you had to
it had urinals on the floor, and it smelled like
a nursing home and it was very, very run down.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
But he's like, I think we could do it. This
setup was kind of how we we it would work.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And so how are you going to buy this thing?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
My father and mother in law graciously helped us, and
then we my husband and I pretty much put everything
out and your kids scrubbing. Yeah, so they get it
inher a.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Red face and say, mom, why can't we get a
contractor like normal people all the day?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
Yeah, pretty much every day.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Too bad.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
I think they still are know we have enough to
hire somebody for that yet.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
And that concludes part one of my conversation with Aaron Steele,
and you do not want to miss part two. That's
now we'll be able to listen to together. Guys, we
can change this country, but it starts with you. I'll
see you in Part two.
Host
Bill Courtney
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