Monica Kelsey: I’m Blessed To Have Been Abandoned (Pt 2)

After having been abandoned as a baby, Monica Kelsey has gone on to help save the lives of 227 babies! Her nonprofit Safe Haven Baby Boxes offers a compassionate and secure option for mothers in crisis who are unable to care for their newborns.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an army and normal folks.
We continue now a part two of our conversation with
Monica Kelcey, right after these brief messages from our general sponsors.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
So you're sitting now with your family, Okay, yeah, see
he's getting us off the squirrel path. See that's why
you're here.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
He needs to shut up. This is my show.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
I got a mic now.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
So yeah, So we sat down as a family and
I said, we either tell everyone or we tell no one.
There's no in between here. We can't do this half basically,
And so my son was like, well, if we can
just save a life, why wouldn't we do it? And
so interesting enough, and I'm sure you know this since

(00:59):
you watch you know me, he my son who said
that was the one that was attacked the most.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Your son that said what specifically he was.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
He was saying, you know, if if if you're going
to go out there and do this, uh, and if
it saves one child's life by you talking and telling
your story, then why wouldn't we do it? You know?
He's kind of like me though too. He's got a
big mouth, like really a big mouth. You know, I'm sure,
that's not a surprise to you. But out of all
three of my kids, he is the one that will

(01:30):
be the most voiceful and and so he and that's
this is another story for another podcast. But my my
son actually went to prison and we were literally just
attacked and he made the worst decision of his life
and it cost him his best friend's life. And so
but that's another story. But what me going back is

(01:51):
he he was the one that stood up, and he
was the one that took the blunt of it, and
he's still taking the blunt of it today. He uh,
he's a pretty good kid.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Though.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
He's a pretty good kid. So then after I decided
to start talking about it and going public with this story,
I found myself in South Africa on a speaking tour.
Oh okay, and my too far.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Ahead, that's a jump.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Okay, first, let me go back.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
First of all, I read that your son, as a teenager,
rolled a jeep and his best.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
Friend passed and I was the medic on that run.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Holy crap, I didn't get that part. Yeah, you showed
up to your own son's wreck.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
I was halfway to the scene and I had no
idea who it was. And then I got the call,
and then I knew it was my son and his
best friend, and one was dead and one was alive,
and I didn't know which one was which. And then
I got there and I seen my my son doing
chest compressions on Casey. And then I worked Casey in
the field for eight Cacy, his best friend. I worked
Casey in the field for eighteen minutes. I couldn't save him.

(02:59):
And I think that's one of the things that I
think haunts me the most is as a medic, this
is your worst fear, and as a mom, this is
your worst nightmare that's happening right in front of you.
Because we loved Casey and they just made a really
bad choice. They were at a high school graduation party
where the homeowner bought booze and they decided to do
doughnuts in a nineteen acre field, being stupid, and this

(03:21):
jeep flipped and killed Casey. And so after we called
time of death of Casey, you know, I had to
walk over to my son and say, what have you done? Like,
what did you do? Little did I know the extent
of what had happened, But he was legally drunk. He
was as blood alcohols point zero eight five and they
handcuffed him and put him in a cop car and
took him to the hospital for a blood draw, and

(03:41):
that became the nightmare. Now this is not to jump ahead,
but this was thirty days after I launched baby boxes
in America, when ah hell was breaking loose on people
wanting to shut my boxes down. My son is in
this accident and Casey dies, and so literally our family
was just put into the position and of sink or swim.

(04:02):
There was no middle ground for us at that point.
And I mean this was you know, I put this
in my book also because this is part of the story. Now,
this is part of the story. This is how the
devil will attack you when you're trying to do good things.
And not saying that my son doesn't take responsibility, because
he does. He actually pled guilty. He didn't, he didn't

(04:22):
fight it, he didn't go to trial, and he stood
in front of the judge on sentencing day and said,
you know, I'm not going to say that I didn't
do something that I did because what you're accusing me
of doing, I did. And I'm here to get my
sentence and Casey deserves me for me to be honest,
and so the judge sentenced him to four years in
the Department of Corrections. And as the mayor's son, you know,

(04:44):
you can see the media just tearing us apart. And
you know drunken. You know, kid mayor's son kills best
friend in drunken accident. It was just hard.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
I raised four kids and Lisa and I tried to
raise him right, and there is no doubt in my
mind that every single one of them have done a
really stupid thing in a vehicle after being around alcohol.
So before anybody starts throwing stones at you, they need
to think about how the challenges that they had with
their own children.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Well, you can raise them inside the house, but when
they walk out that door, they're on their own. They're
going to make their own decisions. Hopefully you've impacted them
in a way that they think logically and they think
ahead instead of in the moment. But my son and
Casey didn't, They thought the moment.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Something I've been quoted as saying is that football doesn't
build character, reveals it. And what that means is tough times.
Don't a lot of people say, oh, if it doesn't
kill you to make you stronger, builds character. I think
that's great. I think the foundation and basis of the
way you raise your children build character, and then the

(05:50):
tough times, when those occur, that is the opportunity that
reveals that character or lack of it. The fact that
your son stood up in front of a judge said
what he said, that not the wreck itself, indicates what
he's made of. And I think people should get their

(06:11):
arms around the truth about that. And they should also,
especially every parent has that a kid that's been sixteen
or older, should get their arms around the truth about
what ninety five percent of the kids in this country do,
which is stupid crap. It's just most of them, by
the grace of God, get away with it. And your
son didn't.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
No, no, he didn't.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
And neither Casey.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
No, those boys weren't lucky that night.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
So you've got this ball of stuff going on. But
before that, South Africa.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah, So South Africa's where I seen the very first
Baby Safe And we were speaking at a church and
as I'm walking in, there's this box in the side
of the wall, looked like a mailbox and it said
baby Safe on it, and I was like, well, what
is this and what is it used.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
For in this mayby safe safe like a safe you
provide in and piggy baby bank. I'm kidding, Okay, piggy bank,
I don't know, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
But I was like, what is this and what is
it used for? And they said, well, women bring their
babies here at night when they can't care for them
or they don't want them, and they place them in
this box and the box calls the pastor and then
someone from the church adopts them. And I'm like, shut
the front door, like really does this actually work or
is this being used? And they had saved seven babies
that year, and so I couldn't get this out of

(07:28):
my head. And you know, you always say that there's
an aha moment in your life where you just it
defines you. And this is the moment that defined me
was standing at this box. And so on the flight
back from Cape Town, South Africa on a Delta napkin,
I handrew my version of the baby box.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
When you heard that story, did it get personal to you? Oh? Yeah, yeah?
It tying back to the first fifteen minutes for our conversation,
it had to hit you right in your gut. Yeah,
because of you.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Well, it gave me purpose, you know. And I think
this kind of goes back to the worth issue. You know.
I was still this was twenty twelve, I think was
when I was there twenty thirteen. I was still trying
to figure it out. I was still trying to find
my worth and I hadn't quite got there yet, but
it was like, at that moment, I could see purpose.

(08:16):
And so when I got back to the United States,
I went to a builder in Fort Wayne, Indiana and said, here,
you know, here's my Delta napkin that I wrote. I
drew my little baby box on Delton Degen. Yeah, oh man,
I had it.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
All.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Three quarters of my company is built off that Delton napkin,
literally on the Delton napkin. And so I go to
this builder and I said, I want you to build
me a baby box. And he's like a what. And
I'm like a baby box. He's like, what's a baby box?
And I said, I'm gonna put him in fire stations.
I'm gonna say babies. He thought I was crazy. He's like, well,
you know, seven hundred bucks, I'll build you whatever you want.
And so I wrote a chuck from my husband's account,

(08:51):
walked out of there like a boss. And so you know,
two weeks later I had that money.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
You're spending seven hundred bucks on a baby box and
sere And so I walked out of there.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
And two weeks later I had this very basic box
that I had hand drawn and with no electronics in
it for seven hours. It was literally the shell. There
was nothing else with it. There's a shell. And so
then I went to a legislator and I said, hey,
I want you to build me a baby or I
want you to pass me a baby box bill. And
he says what And I said a baby box bill?
And he says, well, do you have model legislation? And

(09:22):
I'm like, dude, we will be the model legislation. This
has never been done in America before. And he's like,
you got to help me out here, because I have
no idea what you're even talking about. And so the
more I started talking about babies being dumped in our country,
every three days in America, a baby is left somewhere.
Say that again, every three days in America, a baby

(09:43):
is being left somewhere.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
What is left mean?

Speaker 2 (09:46):
In a dumpster, in a trash can alongside a highway,
in a shoe box under a bed that's left, that
these babies are meant to die. And so knowing that,
I started talking to this legislator and saying, we if
we can you save one of those three.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Every three days, every day this country.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
In the United States of America, a baby is hostile.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
And we're not talking about left at a police station
or a fire state right now or not, We're not
talking about that. We're talking about thrown away, dumped. Yeah,
that is horrifying.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yeah, and you know, I mean, I could give you
statistics on states do it. Texas is the worst in
the country. Last year, they had thirty three abandoned babies.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Okay, let's it ties back to and again. Please, like
you said, just data. I'm not I'm not making a
social value judgment or political statement when I say this,
but I would assume that abandoned babies happen more in

(10:53):
states that are harder on abortion than others because they
can't be aborted. That would be the assumption.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
That's not so. Texas actually has been consistently the worst
state in America for fifteen years. This is no secret
with the data. The other states that are horrible with
abandonment is New Mexico, which has abortion up until the
day of delivery, California again, New York again, and Illinois.

(11:22):
Those are your top states for infant abandonment across this country.
So the one state that has a huge restriction on
abortion is Texas, you know, but the other four states don't.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
So you can't make a correlation, no, And that's one
of the things. You know.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
Abandoned babies were happening before Roe v. Wade was overturned.
This was no secret. It's just now people are trying
to tie it together because the Justice in the Supreme
Court mentioned safe Haven when they were talking about overturning
Roe v. Wade, And so now they're connecting those two,
which is harder on us because we're just getting we're
just wanting women to keep their baby safe, you know,

(11:56):
and we're dealing with babies after they're born. We're not
dealing with babies in their first time as babies in
their second. Trive Master women don't call us for prenatal care.
They call us when they've given birth, they have a
baby in their arms, they don't know what to do
with baby's a couple of hours old, or they're in
labor and want to know what they need to do,
and those are the women that we handle.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Now.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
If a woman calls us in the first trimester of pregnancy,
we're going to refer her to a location in her
area that deals with that. That's not our that's not
our wheelhouse.

Speaker 1 (12:25):
You're dealing with trying to keep these one out of
every three babies in the United States from being left
on the side of the road or thrown in a
freaking dumpster. Which is that. I think I already used
the word, But to me, I can't think. It's horrifying
to me that somebody would be so desperate to do that,

(12:46):
and you're just trying to give that desperate woman an
alternative to the trash bill.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
We are giving women an alternative that does not include
the death of their child. I'll give you, I'll support
any option that you choose as long as it does
not include the death of their child. But remember we're
at the we're in labor or we've just given birth,
and if they want to kill their child after that,
I mean we're going to have a huge issue there.
So as long as they choose an option that does

(13:12):
not involve the death of their child at that moment
in time, we will support anything a parenting plan, an
adoption plan, walking into a fire station and handing the
child to a person if they don't want to use
our baby box. Those are all good options because it
doesn't include the death of their child and they're getting
to choose what they want to do, you know. So
we try to stay out of the abortion debate, although

(13:33):
we still get brought back into it. Plus my story
doesn't help that, you know, And I can't change that,
you know. I can't change the fact that that I
am an adoption advocate that is against abortion. I just
I can't change that. But I try not to bring
it into the talk of abandonment because it really doesn't
have anything to do with that. When you look at
the data.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
We'll be right back. So I know, I've seen like
news reports of babies being found wrapped in blankets and
shoe boxes at a good will before and then they
go and rest the mom. Yep, how does all of

(14:21):
that work?

Speaker 2 (14:22):
They should be arrested if they're going to place their
child in an unsafe place. Okay, Okay, so a goodwillbox
is not a safe place.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
I get it. But so I'm trying to get to
does that make your baby boxes all not only allowed
them an alternative for their baby to live, but also
offer them a legal alternative for themselves.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Exactly what it does well tell us about that. So
when a mother chooses one of our safe even baby boxes,
not only is she saving the life of her child,
but she is saving herself from a life of prison
time if she throws this baby in dumpster. And you
can go to YouTube right now just type in the
worst case that's out there right now is if you
just type in abandoned baby Hobbs, New Mexico, you will
see this baby literally being tossed in the dumpster by

(15:10):
a girl that was found in arrested a video, a
video that was on CCTV. This this parent did not
realize that there was a camera by this dumpster, and
so you see this eighteen year old girl just chucking
this baby in this dumpster. This baby was there for
six hours in this dumpster, found by dumpster divers. And
so this baby lived lived after being in a dumpster

(15:32):
for six hours.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
How old the two days? One day, a couple.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Of hours old old baby? Yeah, I think in that
case the placenta was still attached.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 2 (15:44):
And so so just google, just google it, You'll see
all these stories that come up. But that's one of
the ones that I teach on when I go in
and I train firefighters. This is one of the videos
I show, you know, and.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
So seeole have just I don't want to watch.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
You gotta know the reality though.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
I know for a fireman. I'm just saying people have
to be just awe struck when they watch that and
then find out the things you just told me. I'm
all struck sitting here here in it.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
Well, so firefighters think about this. So a firefighter finds
a baby in a dumpster that's dead, that will live
with them for the rest of their life, one hundred percent,
no question, no question about it. But if a baby
is placed in a safe place, a baby box, and
that same firefighter pulls that baby from the box, knowing
that that mother did everything possible to keep this child safe,

(16:38):
the trauma is less on the firefighter, less on the mother,
less on the child. So you have a win there.
Now is surrendering a baby in a box without pain. No,
there's pain involved, and the birth mother bears the blunt
of it. But we have to respect that. This is
what she's chosen. I didn't choose it for her. You
didn't choose it for her. She chose it herself. And

(16:58):
if we're saying that they don't have OP, then we
haven't looked far enough. These women are intelligent, as we
talked about earlier. They're smart. They have smartphones. They can
at the click of a couple buttons, they can find
out everything they need to know about what resources are
in their area. And so saying that they're not smart
enough to find that is actually kind of demeaning to

(17:18):
these parents that do choose a safe haven baby box
because they are basically saying, I want what's best for
my child and it's not me, and that's heroic.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
So the legislature says, I don't even know what you're
talking about, but okay, yep.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
And and so we passed the very first babybox bill
in Indiana in twenty fifteen. Then it was government Governor
Mike Pence who became president under Donald Trump. The last
time he signed the very first babybox bill into existence.
And what that did was make protocols, policies, and procedures
the problem for the Health Department and the Child Services

(17:51):
to do for me. So I wanted their help. I
wanted them to say, Hey, here's your policies and procedures
that you need to follow these. I wanted their help.
I wanted to work with them. And so they came
back and like six months later with a letter that said, well,
your legislation said that we want you wanted us to
recommend protocols, policies, and procedures. We don't recommend baby boxes,

(18:13):
so we're not recommending any protocols policies. This is literally
the letter and it's out there. You can get it online.
So we sent back. This legislator sent back and said, well,
that's not what we ask you to do. We asked
you to put these things in place, and so uh,
they didn't do it. And so, uh, knowing who I
am and and me being a little spit of fire,
I hired a prick of a lawyer in Indiana I needed.

(18:37):
I hired the guy that I knew that was going
to fight for me and didn't matter what was standing
in his way.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
And of Indiana, apparently Jim.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Bop he's actually the attorney for the National Rights a
Life Organization, So he's in the he's in the realm
of fighting with you. Know, controversial things. But anyways, so
I contact at him and I said, hey, Jim, is
there anything in the law that says that I can't
put these in? And he says, let me get back
to you on that. A couple of days later, hecaus, Michael,
there's nothing that says you can, but there's nothing that

(19:11):
says you can't. So you're in this gray area. And
he says, I don't recommend that you do it. And
I'm like, but there's nothing saying I can't. And he says, no,
there's nothing saying you can't. And I said, cool, thanks,
appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
He's out, Jim, Bob, hang out that bone.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
I'm like, hey, babe, can we put a box in
our fire station in Woodburn since you're the mayor.

Speaker 3 (19:30):
Oh He's like, yeah, that's good.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
I mean that's not really how the conversation went, but
I launched at my fire station and my husband, yes, shit, no,
are you sitting if you want to sleep with his
wife at night? He was not going to say no
to this.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
He didn't at least say are you sure you want
me to do this? No? No, it was we're going
to do it.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
Yeah, we're going to do it, but you know what
it takes.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
What do you have him doing now washing the window,
bango and walking the dog? What's going on with the mayor?
Where is he? What's he doing? What do you have
him doing changing the tires?

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Oh, he's probably whatever.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
He's well told is probably the answer to that. Go ahead, monica,
So you get that. So the mayor says, yes, dear,
we're going to put a baby box in our local
fire station.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
And so I launched it my fire station five days
after my birthday in April of twenty sixteen, and two
days later then we launched it another fire station that
had had five abandoned babies in a seven year period.
They knew the risk, they knew what was going on
that we hadn't got protocols.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Tell us functionally how these things work, because I imagined
when I first heard baby boxes, I imagine a wooden
box on the front doorstep. It is so much not
that it is. This is kind of a technologically advanced
safe haven alarm ringing thing. So we need people to
understand as they're listening to this baby box, which I

(20:54):
put a baby in a box, but explained the technology
and how it actually works.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
So the box. We use technology, and technology is at
our fingertips. And so basically the box calls nine to
one one on its own. And what we do is
we call a hole out of the side of a firehouse.
And I say we it's not me, it's a contractor,
a licensed contractor. And basically it's like cutting a window
out of the side of the wall. So the outside
of the baby box is on the outside of the
building and the inside is on the inside of the firehouse.

(21:21):
And it's almost like another door into the firehouse for
someone an infant.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
Almost feels like the pass through when you do the
drive through pharmacy. Just sticker, he are.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
You bringing up pharmacy? Oh my god, but yes, yes,
because half of it's outside, half of it's inside, except
it doesn't roll out and roll back, get it. But anyway,
so mom opens this outside door and an immediate nine
one one call goes out. She doesn't have to do
anything but open the door, just open the latch. And
then when she places this baby inside, now it's it's
climate controlled on the inside or temperature regulated, that's the

(21:54):
technical term. And uh, she places this baby in a
medical basinet that's in the Nike So this baby's contained
in this this medical bathroom.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Not so it's a box, but the baby's not thrown
in a cardboard box.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
It's actually a medical bass. Maet got it and so
and then when she and it's it's now at this point,
two alarms have been triggered that have called nine to
one one and they're not connected to each other, which
is important because that's the safety feature of the box.
So if the first alarm fails for whatever reason, the
second one would still pick up because it's not connected
to the first one. And then once she shuts it's
the door. The door locks, no one can get in it.

(22:28):
And and that's a safety feature because if someone was
watching from across the street, we don't want them coming
and taking this in. And so the babies are in
these boxes for the average time is two minutes, some
some places are a little bit faster.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Is there an alarm inside the fire department so the
firemen inside know what's going on?

Speaker 2 (22:45):
So yeah, there's so there's one inside. But if they're gone, yeah,
we we have to have we have to have something else.
And so the nine one one system and this is work.
I think Christ really, I mean, my my life has
been set up from the get go because I lived
in fire stations, I know them, I know the nine
one one system, and so for me to be able
to make a box that uses that technology, it was critical.

(23:07):
And so the box is going to call nine one one,
whether they're in the building or not. Either way it's
calling nine one one is going to know. And so
if they're in the building, they're already going to have
the alarm prior to nine to one one getting it.
If they're not in the building, they're gonna have to
come back, or police officers in the area are going
to come and retrieve this invent or if it's a
volunteer fire station, anybody close is going to come take

(23:28):
this child and pull it out this box. The longest
time of baby's ever been in our box is four
minutes and twenty seconds, and so you get nothing to
look at that time. The five minutes, we'll just say
five minutes or less versus six hours in Hobbs, New
Mexico dumpster. Think about that, six hours in a dumpster
versus five minutes in a baby box.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
Or let's not even use the worst case scenario of
the Hobbs dumpster. If there's one every three days in
the United States. At the very least, it's at thirty
minutes to a couple hours, or somebody founds them, or
they just die and they're found as a corpse somewhere.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Okay, So that brings up a good point because in
Chicago two years ago it was January, there was a
fire station in Downtouchgowl. It's very cold in Chicago, especially
in January, That's what I mean. But this fire station,
it said Chicago fire up above, you know, blah blah
blah in the side door. The side exterior door had
a sign above that said safe Haven location. Regular folks

(24:27):
would know that this was a firehouse. Firefighters would know
this isn't a firehouse. This is where they do their
maintenance on their vehicles.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Oh no.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
And so this parent comes to this baby, this this
fire station in the middle of the night or first
thing in the morning. Nobody really knows either. Knocks on
the door, doesn't, knock on the door, rings the doorbell,
doesn't nobody's there, nobody lives there because this is where
they do the maintenance in their fire station. And so
firefighters come in the next morning at five am and
there's this blue duffel bag beside the door, and so

(24:57):
they're out shoveling snow in January. They unzip and there's
this baby that is frozen to death. Now, this baby
was not taken there dead. Why would a woman take
a baby to a fire station and leave a dead
newborn to leave it there?

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Probably thought she was leaving it for a fireman.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
To live to find. Yeah, and this baby died. And
so there's other circumstances for these you know, these boxes
to be important, and that's one. If they're not there,
we don't want a baby on the ground. We don't
want a baby sitting there because it's how many women, So, say,
this fire station is out on a fire how many

(25:33):
fire stations is she going to go to until she
finds someone one?

Speaker 1 (25:37):
Yeah, she's already scared to death exactly. And no mother,
especially young mother in this situation, is going to trust
going to a police department because they're going to worry,
they're going to get in trouble, so they're not going
to go to the cops. And firemen are much more

(25:57):
trusted than the police are. Just so anyway, so it
all makes sense from that perspective, I think, well.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
In hospitals. So hospitals are also safe haven locations. Every
hospital in America is a safe have in location. And
so you can walk into a hospital and hand your
child to a person. You think you're yeah, but you
think you're on camera. Of course you're on camera. You
know they're going to ask you a ton of questions.
You can't just walk in there, hand the child and
turn around walk away. That's the law. But do you
really think that's reality. No, they're going to say, wait

(26:26):
a minute, what are you doing. Hang on a second,
don't leave yet. I need to get some.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
Information as a call a counselor, we need to call security,
We need to call these people. And then all the.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Shit don't want to make us. Yeah, they don't want
to make a make a mess of a situation or
a mistake. And so they're like not letting these women leave.
And this is the calls that we're getting. We actually
had a firehouse in New York City hold a woman
would not let her leave. We were trying to get
her to surrender at the fire station. She called us.

(26:53):
We wanted her to go to a hospital. That's whole
another story. And so she gets to this fire station
and We even told her, do you want us to
stay on the phone? Nope, nope, And so she goes
this fire station. She calls us back. She goes, they're
not letting me leave, And I said, who's not letting
you leave? She said, firefighters. They're calling somebody to come in.
I said, let me talk to them. And so they
get on the phone and we're like, what are you doing?

(27:13):
Do you even know the safe haven law? And they're like, yeah,
she can leave her baby here. I just got to
get some information. No, you don't. You clearly don't know
this law. And so I fight day and night for
these moms to remain anonymous. If that's what they choose. Now,
if she wanted to give her name, she'd give it.
If she wanted to stay, she would stay. Don't force
her to. That's why we're finding dead babies and dumpsters

(27:34):
and trash cans. Is because these women don't want to
go face to face with these people. They don't want
to be asked questions, and they certainly don't want to
justify their decision.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
We'll be right back. Can I ask the questions? I
hear you. I think it's important. I want to allow
you to speak to this because I don't want any
of our listeners to misunderstand this. You're fighting for these

(28:08):
babies life, and if defending somebody who's in this position
is what you have to do to save the baby's life,
you're going to defend those ones. But it's not about them.
It's about the baby's life.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
Baby first, mom second. Every time I'm starting to get
that talking to you baby first.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Reason is well, because that baby is you.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
Well, yes and no, I mean the law was never
enacted to saying mom.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Well, what I'm saying is you feel it.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Oh, I know how they feel. Yeah, I've been there.
I've struggled with worth as we've talked about, I know
how important it is for these mothers to have a
safe place for their baby, because they're going to choose something,
and we need to make sure that they're choosing something
that's safe that does not involve the death of their child.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
Stigma says, when you hear this, well, they're young and
stupid and they shouldn't have got pregnant in the first place.
I shame on them and too bad for them.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
Get that all the time.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
I'm just teeing it up for you.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yeah, and you know we we all fall short of
the glory of God, every one of us, and something
like that. Yeah, and you know, I mean this two
days ago on TikTok and we have you know, between
Facebook and TikTok, we have two million followers. And so
I put my opinion out there a lot, and I
think people respect that. But there was a girl that

(29:39):
was forced to stand up in front of her church
and say that she was pregnant. What why are we
doing this? Why are yes, we're in a church, But
the church should be surrounding this girl with love, not
making her, not shaming her in the front of a church.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Here's a squirrel for you. Well, I would argue one
of the reasons church attendants continues to fall is our
church has been its own worst enemy. By the notion
believe like me, or you're going to hell and do
like me, or we're going to shame you into doing right.
That is not really the good news of the Bible.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
No, no, it's not, And it's stuff.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Like the story you just told. It continues to disintegrate
the very what I would argue is a very vital
and good work that faith in church can do. But
the church seems to be its own worst enemy when
it pull stunts like that.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, you know. I mean I remember going to church
when I was young. Wasn't anything like it is now,
you know. And maybe it's because I'm older, maybe it's
because I understand more. But I seen that the other
day and I just went off and you should see
the comments underneath, people like that's why I don't go
to church.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Exactly what I'm saying. Yep, yeah, that there's a lot
of people searching for what their belief is and what
their faith is, and that are sitting on the fence,
and it will take one of those videos for them
to say the hell with all that. Yep, that's a squirrel.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
That's a squirrel.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
So but the point is, you are fighting for these babies' lives.
And if defending a woman who's even not been the
victim of a crime, but has just made a really
terrible decision or a series of terrible decisions in her
life to lead her to a place where she has
this four day or four hour old child, you don't care.

(31:43):
You will defend her for the sake of the life
of that child.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
She is basically saying, I want what's best for my child.
And it's not me. How could anybody be angry at that?
You can't. You know, we have seventeen, sixteen, fifteen year
old girls that coming moms and we're all praising them,
and then three years later these kids are end up
in foster care. But yet we're going to criticize a

(32:08):
mother for choosing something more for her child and allowing
her own heart to break. It's not easy putting a
baby in a box. It's not easy putting a baby
for adoption. You know, I recognize that I've not been there,
but I recognize this by talking to these moms, and
instead of shaming them or judging them, what we should
be doing is lifting them up and saying it's okay,
we've got it. We've got it from here and.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Your baby it's going to be okay, so you don't
have to live with that trauma the rest of your
life too.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, And you know, every baby that's placed in our box.
I go on social media a lot of times. I
go down to the location we do a press conference,
and I speak directly to this mother. All those videos
are out there, you can see them, but I thank
her for keeping her child safe and for and thank
her for trusting me to take it from here. You know,
these babies, you know, when they're put in our box,

(32:52):
they're safe, a lot of them. Ninety nine percent of
them are healthy, you know, wrapped up. I just did
a video yesterday talking to one of my staff. We
had a baby in our box. And I always call
my staff and say, hey, what are you doing? You know,
and people love these videos. I don't know why, but
I think it's because it's raw and it's real and

(33:13):
and I told them, I said, this baby, you could
tell this baby was loved. This baby was wrapped up, pink,
warm and dry, cleaned, up in a diaper, wrapped in
a very tight blanket, placed in our box. Do you
think that was a mother that didn't love this child. No,
she did everything possible to keep her child safe. And
for us to criticize her or say anything negative about her,
shame on them.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
I can't help but tell you, and I hope you'll
go back and listen to it. There's an episode from
Oh My Gosh, probably over a year ago. Alex what's
the uh, what's the name of the of the of
the lady who started the organization the Pictures of the pastor.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
Having no Uh now I leave me down to sleep.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
The babies that are photography.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
Still born babies with photographers make their time too. When
I first when Alex said, hey, we're going to review
this thing about these people to take pictures of dead babies,
I mean, when you hear that, you think, no, I'm
not that's what until you understand how those pictures of

(34:27):
of of couples who have had or women who have
had stillborn or babies dot birth, and that they they
they these photographers volunteer their time, that these mothers five six,
seven years later, those are some of the most cherished
possessions because their baby lived, Their baby existed, even though

(34:49):
it's not on the face of the planet, it existed,
and those pictures support that, and it helps them so
much to get over their own trauma of having lost
a child in birth or still birth or whatever. So
once I understood the story after interviewing him, now I
understand what an unbelievably beautiful story it is, and how

(35:12):
selfless it is of these photographers, and how redeeming it
is for these parents and obviously yours, and that is
a different story, but in that same regard, at the
very least these mothers know my child will live, my

(35:33):
child will be cared for, and whatever trauma led up,
because I can only imagine invariably, to get to a
point that you're going to leave your baby in one
of these boxes, you've experienced some trauma. At the very least,
the trauma's not doubled or heaped upon them about the
health and welfare of their child. And that's what you're

(35:55):
providing those women, as well as what you're providing for
the baby.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
You're exactly right, you know which. As you were talking,
I was thinking of this story of one of the
babies that was placed in one of our boxes, where
when the baby was adopted, the adoptive parents contacted us
and they said, if you know who her mom is,
will you tell her she's safe and that if she
ever wants pictures or letters, we'd be happy to send

(36:20):
them to her. And that was so beautiful for me,
Like I was like, wow, this is like interesting enough.
We were still counseling her birth mom and this was
this was about a year and a half after the
baby was surrendered, and so I talked to our counselor
and I said, can we connect them if they both agree,

(36:42):
can we connect the birth mom with the adoptive family.
And she says, this is very risky, this is not
a good idea, and I said, well, if both people agree,
why couldn't we do that, And against her approval, I
did anyway. I mean, I mean, they both agreed. So
I was like, you know, I guess this is the

(37:03):
right thing to do. And four months ago they met
the adoptive parents and the daughter that she placed in
our box met her birth mom, and you know what,
the relationship that they have now, it's just so beautiful.
I mean, there is nothing negative about this. This this

(37:25):
birth mom gets to see her daughter grow up from
a distance and no one knew she was pregnant. She's
still doing this from a distance with no one knowing
that she has a daughter. Well for her, she's finding
peace and this little girl now will know her story.
And so you look at that mum.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
That's really brave of the adoptive parents too. They can't
be left out of that equation. My goodness, what phenomenal
grace and trust on their part. They're the ones investing
in that child.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah. Oh, and she's she's just she's a little spark
offire interesting enough, they have now two of our babies,
this this adoptive family, and so they've reached out to
the other birth mom. She does not want anything to
do with you know, and that's okay, you know, that's okay, but.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
It is because that's second. The baby's fine, right, all right?
So you start with one box because your husband does
what he stole, and then you get another box. How
many boxes we got around the country.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Now, three hundred and two, three.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Hundred and two baby boxes and fire fire stations? Literally
does that encompass every single state?

Speaker 2 (38:34):
I'm in twenty one states right now. I will launch
in my twenty second state, which will be the state
of Montana next month.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Please tell me we have one in Tennessee?

Speaker 2 (38:43):
Oh, you have ten in Tennessee.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
I love that. Do we have one in Memphis?

Speaker 2 (38:47):
Closest one is a Toka.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah, well that's just outside.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Of memphisp I got one there and that one almost
had a baby. We actually got this mom to go
into the hospital though and give birth instead of birthing
alone and placing in a box.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
We'll be right back, all right. So now, besides these boxes,
which if that's not incredible enough, you've alluded to it
a little bit, but you've gotten into counseling and what

(39:23):
it tell tell us what Save Haven Baby Boxes has
become in terms of like an organization now and the
other things that you're doing.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
So there is so much more that happens beyond the boxes.
What we call it because the box the Yeah, beyond.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
The box, beyond the box.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
So my new podcast is called Beyond the Box, and
I'm excited about that. But so what what we do
in front of the scenes everybody gets to see. That's
the babies being placed in our box, you know, us
thanking these parents. What they don't see is, yes, we
have a counseling, a counselor that counsels these moms if
they want, and they can remain anotheronymous, they can give
a fake name, that's okay, but they have to do

(40:03):
it via zoom. They can keep their camera off, but
they have to do it viazoom. We will not counsel
over text for obvious reasons. And so we also have
gotten mom's medical care. That's important that these babies aren't
born in hospitals. We want to take care of mom too,
if she'll let us. Also, the adoptions that are happening
with our babies. I am this is not gonna surprise you,

(40:24):
but I'm a spit of fire when it comes to
adoption because our babies aren't for sale. And I know
this is going to probably your listeners are going to
be like, what the heck is she talking about? As
an adoptee, my parents paid one hundred dollars. Now, I
know this is fifty one years ago. I get that,
But fifty one years ago, one hundred dollars is what

(40:46):
my adoptive parents paid for me because it wasn't about
the cost. Today, these babies are fifty sixty thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
We know. We just recently has that episode released.

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Yeah, we just wait to know your own show, buddy,
I'm waiting to know your own podcast.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Look, man, you are the producer.

Speaker 3 (41:10):
Both hands with J. T.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Eilsen. So there what that is.

Speaker 4 (41:14):
They raise money to help people pay for the adoption.
So it's it's based off of James one to twenty
seven True and Onto foul. Religion is caring for the
widows and the orphans. So the way they raise money
for the adoption is by helping an orphan or by
helping a widow.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
So what they do is they go in and fix
up a widow's house and they get people to sponsor
them doing that, and in fixing up the widow's house,
they raise fifty or sixty thousand dollars to then give
to a family so that they can adopt a child.

Speaker 4 (41:41):
Rather than just having a golf tournament. And people are
gone to you should you should get in touch with them?

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Well, okay, so how cool is that? It is awesome?
It is awesome, But why are we paying sixty thousand
dollars for an adoption agency?

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Okay, you and I agree on that, But the reason
is is because.

Speaker 3 (41:58):
I would agree to what's up you would agree to.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
He would agree to. He would say it is insane
that it costs us much to do a good thing
for a needy situation and to take in a child.
But adoption agencies have administration, there's laws, there's attorneys, are
over reltigious society. I am not saying that the fifty
or sixty thousand dollars is appropriate or right. I am

(42:21):
just saying, as you would say, that data says that
it is.

Speaker 2 (42:24):
Now an adoptionat and so.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
These people erase that so that people can adopt children.
Do that thing which is cool and I do love that.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
I do love that. And I'm not talking about adoption
where a mother chooses an adoption agency and then chooses
the parent. That's not where my problem lies. I am
all safe Haven. So the babies that we get, if
they go to an adoption agency, you know, we're basically
handing this baby to them.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
So what do you do.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
Well, so the baby that comes through the say fire station,
goes to the hospital. Most states go through the Department
of Child Services, some states go through adoption agencies. I'm
trying to get the call of the adoptions for Safe
Haven babies down to minimal because these mothers are trusting me.
If they place a baby in our box, they're trusting
me to make sure that the that the process works.

(43:10):
And I'm not saying that having a family get a
baby and paying that much that that baby's not going
to end up good. We have a lot of families
that are foster families that are foster to adopt, families
that don't have to pay fifty thousand dollars that can
do it through foster care and you know, maybe pay

(43:31):
two thousand dollars for the court cost to be this
forever family for these babies. And so what we're doing
is we're kind of like dividing these people up. You
have to have so much money in order to adopt,
which you're kind of hitting that to where they don't
have to have that much money because they're they're getting
that raised. And I understand that. But then on the
flip side, the people that don't have the money or
they don't have the support of this organization, what they're

(43:52):
out and they're good families and they.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Would be great families for these babies.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yeah, And so that's what you know from beyond the box.
What I try to do is our babies. And I
say our babies because we work so hard to save them,
but our babies, we want to make sure that they're
not bought. And I know that's going to raise a
few flags with some people when I say that, but
that's just how I It's almost like that's how you
that's how you feel like if I can pay two

(44:20):
thousand dollars by putting the baby into the foster to
adopt program, making and I know the foster foster program
is a hell of a mess right now, we've also
done yeah, and so I understand that but instead of
making more laws and sending these babies to adoption agencies
so that adoption agencies can profit off of them, why
don't we fix the problem with the foster care system

(44:40):
and get these babies into homes that are good homes
where they don't have to pay. You know. So I
do know that it's a double edged sword. I do
know that this is an uphill battle for me. But
that's something that I look at from beyond the box.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Maybe it's time to call Billy Bob who the attorney.
That's maybe Jim.

Speaker 2 (45:05):
But you know, and you know, if if these babies
go to the adoption agencies, if Safe Haven babies go
to the adoption agency, the adoption agency doesn't have any
They didn't work with a mom, they don't have any counseling.
These moms are anonymous, they don't get the count. So
all the things that they're doing for the birth mom
that they're saying that they're collecting money for for their
services is obsolete. They have no parent that's fighting this

(45:28):
or needing counseling or anything like that.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
And so if I can do actually, you're actually the
as I hear you, you're almost stepping in oh.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
I'm stepping into a fire because I've got a lot
of adoption agencies that are like, hate me right now.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
I'm bad. That's what I'm sitting here thinking. You're probably it's.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
The right thing to do. You know, it's the right
thing if I just if I can get adoption agencies
to the baby, and and again if an adopt, if
a birth mom chooses that adoption agency, and how much
this is that choice, that's her choice. But the babies
that are coming through us, if I can just get
them to ten thousand dollars, that's more, I think than

(46:08):
what it's going to cost to adopt this job. But whatever, okay,
ten thousand dollars. If I hand you a baby that's
been placed in our box, and I save me handed
it's not me, but I I if a baby is
given to you that came through our box, why can't
you make it work for ten thousand dollars? Why can't
you make it work? I can make it work on
our boxes. On the cost, and I know it's probably
coming up in this thing and the cost we charged
fifteen thousand dollars for a box. Do I spend more?

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Hell?

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Yes, I spend more than fifteen thousand dollars, marketing training,
producing the box signage.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Cutting the hole, cutting the hole in the side of
the lawyer fees.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Okay, fifteen thousand is very minimal, and I spend a
lot more than that, but I rely on donations to
cover the rest of it.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Ye. That's because I was about to ask, this has
got to this has become an enterprise. Now where the
world does all the money come from? Because there's no revenue.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
There's no revenue, and it's people that believe in our
ministry that give us those those dollars. And so if
adoption agencies can just take a little play out of
the Monica's playbook and say, let's charge less. But if
people want to give us, because most of them claim
to be nonprofits, they can get donations. Indy, do you really.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
Think they could do it for ten grand instead of
fifty there's a lot of excess profit there.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Well, okay, so yes, I do think they can do that.
So you have attorney fees, cork costs, and a home study.
Those are your three main things with an adoption. How
much is that going to cost you? Home study twenty
five hundred, attorney fees twenty five hundred cork costs an
extra five grand, you're a ten grand. You can do
it for that. You can do it for that. But
what adoption agencies.

Speaker 4 (47:35):
Are to take some of your guys's staff to manage
all those too, so you'd have to hire up and
scale that part of it.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
Well, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing anything on adoption.
That's not my fortee. You know that has to be.
I won't do anything with adoption because I don't want
to look like I'm profiting or trafficking, got it, you
know what I mean. And so, but what we need
to get people to see is that you can do
it for that. And if you're a nonprofit, you shouldn't
be taking in fifty thousand dollars from a family.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
Yeah, fifteen based off of what you.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Said, yeah, and so, But what these adoption agencies are
doing is when an adoptive family calls them and says, hey,
we want to hire your Okay, Well let's do a
home study twenty five hundred bucks, right, okay, and you're
gonna have to pay for birth mom to probably live.
That's probably four thousand dollars. I think in Indiana it's
four thousand dollars they get to help or whatever, and
then you know, we have to do a nice little

(48:27):
thing for our website. That's another five thousand, and then
did you want us to do this for you? That's
another So it's almost like an a la carte. Okay,
so you can poose all these things up front, so
before they even get a baby, they're thirty grand in. Okay, Okay,
that's fine if you want to choose that. But then
these families that have already paid thirty thousand dollars are

(48:49):
getting our babies, and then they're paying an additional twenty
twenty five thousand, twenty eight thousand on top of what
they've already paid. That's where you get those numbers from.
And I'm just saying, hey, can't you have a list
of people that don't want to pay all those extra
stuff or.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Can't afford to, but are still great families.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
I mean, if your adoption agency wants to handle them,
can you have a separate list for Safe Haven babies
and then just ten thousand dollars?

Speaker 1 (49:13):
So that's what you're working on now.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
That is what I that's I'm not against.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
It that they do hate you, Oh they hate me, right,
I don't want to wrench in the whole works.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
Yeah, but it's the right thing to do. And that's
that's you know, it doesn't matter how many enemies I make,
and now there's a lot of them out there, but
that's the right thing to do.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
How many babies sentencesception as safe Haven baby Box is saved.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
We're at a total of two hundred and.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Twenty seven, twenty seven.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Lives and yeah, since twenty seventeen. Our first baby came
in November of twenty seventeen, and so fifty seven of
those are in the box and the rest are handoffs.
And so a lot of those handoffs are at baby
box locations and that's just our protocol. We we ask
these moms or dads if they'll walk in and hand
the baby to a person, and some of them will.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
And that's what they say, called for the baby box.
But when they find out there's a safe alternative, alternative
where they're not going to get in trouble.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
They just assume hand it just need to be assured. Hey,
I'll call the fire station. So I have a counselor
who answers the phone. She's answering the phone, talking to
mom she'll let me know, Hey, Toke is getting a baby.
They're ten minutes out. I'll call it tokas fire chief
and I'll say, hey, Chief, it's Monica. You got a
baby that's coming. They're going to walk in and hand
this baby to you. Make sure you give them the

(50:30):
orange bag. They're not using your box, you know. And
so that process helps mom assure that she's not going
to be stopped and asked questions.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
We'll be right back. Do you have relationships with the
chiefs of each of these fire stations where your boxes,
so they at least know who you are so you
can actually have a conversation with them.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Yes, the first two hundred boxes that was blessed, I
did them all myself. I went into their fire stations,
I did their trainings. I drove there or flew.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
There, and I guess being a Medican, a firefighter yourself,
they kind of g haul with you because they know
you know their brand.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
Yeah, I'm their sister.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
It is an interesting number of circumstances along every step
of your life, from not only how you were conceived
to who raised you, to finding your mother to marrying
a guy who happened to be a mayor who could say, yes,
let's stick it in the wall of our fire department.

(51:39):
To your trip to South Africa, to what you do
for a living that came from you enlisting in the Navy,
all of these things kind of come together to make
this happen. And it's a very unique skill set really well.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
And it's it's Christ driven. It's it's Christ laid this
out there. There is no this life could have done.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
Yeah, too many.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
There is too many circumstances and too many things that
are connected. And so that's why I know I'm doing
his job, you know. And it's it's interesting because people
will say, well, what's your goal five years? What's your goal?
I don't have a goal. I'm just a passenger in
this car that Christ is driving. Wherever he goes is
where I'm going to go. And sometimes it might be
a little bumpy. I get that sometimes we might have

(52:23):
to stop. I get that sometimes I need to get out.
I get that.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Did those two hundred and twenty seven lives help you
to overcome that self worth thing that you dealt with?
For God's sakes? It should.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
Working with these moms is what really gives me the
peace because my birth mom didn't have this. You know,
I text a lot of these moms I have. I've
had people contact me on TikTok said, I want to
talk to Monica because they know that I have somebody
else helping me with my social media, and so I'll
give them my cell phone and I text back and
forth with these moms, and I think that also brings
them a little bit of peace knowing that I got

(52:59):
their back. You know, I've spent hours on these techs
on the phone with them only because they wanted to
talk to me and not a counselor. Some people don't
want the bullshit, you know, they don't. Counselors are great,
they serve a purpose, but they don't want to be coddled.
They want to be told, you know, kind of raw
and real. They want they they don't want you to

(53:20):
dance around something, and that's me. I'm not going to
dance around and I'm not going to tell you something
that's going to make you feel better. I'm going to
tell you the truth.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
If somebody is listening out there and needs or know
someone that may need the use of a baby box,
or somebody out there wants to just donate to baby
boxes or i'd forbid. We've got a firefighter out there

(53:49):
saying I want to stick one of these things at
our wall. How do they find safe even baby boxes?
And how they find you?

Speaker 4 (53:57):
And probably most of our communities don't have it, So
even you know, concerned citizens like hey, we need this
in Oxford, Mississippi. That so what I'm saying, Yeah, if
you're outside of fire just normal someone wants to call
their fire chief and say, stick a baby box in
your wall?

Speaker 1 (54:11):
Dude, how do they find you? How do they find everything?
Let's give us all the all the handles, the website
and how to get in touch.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
So the best place to go is to s HBB
dot org. That's our roll. You did that fast, s HBB.
So it's the first letter of Safe Haven baby Boxes
dot org. Okay, and that's where you're gonna get a
ton of information, some testimonials, and some stats. If you
want to connect with me, if you want the raw
and the real Monica Kelsey, the only way to get

(54:40):
that is TikTok And hopefully that's the that's not going
away anytime soon. But we we kind of tone me
down on Facebook because it's a different generation. On Facebook,
and so our marketing team does a really good job
of letting TikTok just be whatever I wanted to be,
whatever I want.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
What's your handle for TikTok and Facebook?

Speaker 2 (54:58):
It's just Monica Kelsey.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
That's it. That's it. It's k E L S E. Y.
If someone wants to talk to you a little more personally,
can they email you? What's your email address?

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Yeah, so it's just Monica at safe havenbabyboxes dot com.
Or if they want to go to the website and
go to the contact us page. I get a lot
of them that says, please give this to Monica, and
those come to me. So I have one person that
answers those emails and she'll shoot it right to me
and a come right back to me. So I will
contact you.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Why are you and your winter Bago today? Where are
you headed?

Speaker 2 (55:28):
So? I'm headed to Florida. We're blessing a box in
Hernando County.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Blessing a box, so we call it.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
The blessing of the box. As a Christian, you know,
we bless every box before we put it into operation.
A pastor comes out and puts his hand on it
and blesses it. You're kidding No, I'm not kidding. That's
why I'm so tired, you know, because I'm like three
hundred and three boxes. It's like I did two hundred
by myself. Now I have a little bit of help
from some girls in the office. But but we're going

(55:54):
down to Hernando County to bless a box.

Speaker 1 (55:56):
Where is that what?

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Just north of Tampa, Okay?

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Got it?

Speaker 2 (55:59):
And then we're going to Mobile, Alabama to bless a box.
And then uh, there's another place Marion County, which is
Okaala in Florida, we're blessing another box. And then it's
my twenty yeah, kind of in the middle, and then
my twenty six wedding anniversary is the twenty third, and
so I really have to take care of my husband

(56:19):
because he really takes care of me. So we're going
to spend a few days down in Fort Myers, good
for you, love, Yeah, with our dog and our Winnebago
and our car being tone.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
What's your dog's name?

Speaker 2 (56:29):
Harper?

Speaker 1 (56:30):
Harper?

Speaker 2 (56:30):
If you followed us on TikTok, you know this because
I will show up at events and people will be like,
oh my gosh, there's Harper. Because she goes to all
these events with me and she's like a baby box dog.
It's so funny.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Oh but yeah, Monica Kelcey, what a story you have
to tell? What the same of your book.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
It's called Blessed to have been Abandoned, The Story of
the Baby Box Lady Amazon Amazon. Yeah, Blessed to have
been Abandoned.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
Monica Kelcey. How long? How long did you write that?

Speaker 2 (56:59):
I wrote it in twenty Well, my dad was dying
of cancer, and so I kind of took that up
on myself to start.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
Your adoptive dad to be clear, Yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
And my parents had celebrated fifty years of marriage that year,
and then he passed away a few months later. But
I wrote it, and then four months after he passed away,
I published it. That was in April of twenty one.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Awesome, and people could find that on Amazon. Yes, all right, Monica,
thank you for stopping off at Memphis on the way
to bless some boxes and to take care of your
husband with your dog Harper, to spend a couple hours
with me. Phenomenal story. And you know, most people listen,

(57:43):
most people don't watch, but I wish I could share
your araa with folks. You are You're such a bright
light and thank you. You are a bundle of energy
and you. I love straight talking, hard nosed people who

(58:05):
beneath that really hard shell have this massive part, and
you're one of them, I can tell. And just an
ordinary person's just army in normal folks. Man.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
Thanks for being here, thank you for having me, and
thank you for joining us this week. If Monica Kelsey
or other guests have it inspired you in general, or
better yet, to take action by trying to bring a
baby box to your community, donating to them, or something

(58:40):
else entirely, please let me know. I really want to
hear about it. You can write me anytime at Bill
at normalfolks dot us and guys, I'll respond. If you
enjoyed this episode, please share it with friends, share it
on social, subscribe to the podcast, rate it, review it,

(59:00):
Join the army at normalfolks dot us, consider becoming a
Premium member. There any and all of these things that
will help us grow an army of normal folks. Thanks
to our producer, Iron Light Labs, I'm Bill Courtney. Until
next time, do what you can