February 4, 2025 • 38 mins
After having been abandoned as a baby, Monica Kelsey has gone on to help save the lives of 227 babies! Her nonprofit Safe Haven Baby Boxes offers a compassionate and secure option for mothers in crisis who are unable to care for their newborns.
Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premium
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Every three days in America, a baby is left somewhere.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Say that again, Every three days.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
In America, a baby is being left somewhere.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What does left mean?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
In a dumpster, in a trash can, alongside a highway,
in a shoe box, under a bed, that's left that
these babies are meant to die. And so knowing that,
I started talking to this legislator and saying, we if
we could save one of those three.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Every three days, every three days this.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Country, in the United States of America, a baby is hostile.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And we're not talking about left at a police station
or a fire state right now or not, We're not
talking about that. We're talking about thrown.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Away, dumped.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, that is horrifying. Yeah, welcome to an army of
normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal I'm a husband,
I'm a father, I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a
football coach in Inner City Memphis. Somehow that last part
(01:09):
led to an oscar for the film about our team.
That movie is called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems
are never going to be solved by a bunch of
fancy people in nice suits using big words that nobody
ever uses on CNN and Fox, but rather by an
army of normal folks. That's us, just you and me deciding, Hey,
(01:32):
you know what I can help. That's what Monica Kelsey,
the voice you just heard, has done. She's fighting to
solve the scourge of abandoned babies in America candidly, something
that I was shocked happens as much as it does.
Her nonprofit Safe Haven Baby Boxes has helped to save
(01:53):
hundreds of babies so far. I cannot wait for you
to beat Monica. Right after these brief messages from our
general sponsors, Monica Kelsey, Welcome to Memphis.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
How'd you get here? You drove, you walked a dog?
What were you telling about?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Well, I have been walking my dog. Actually she ws
out at three am, you know, and five and six.
But we travel in a motorhome and my husband and
I are those people now, you know, the fifty year
olds that have the motor home, the Toby Hind vehicle
and the dog. That's us. Yeah, that's us. That's how
we got here. So we stayed at the KOA last night.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
And Woodburn, right, Woodburn, Indiana.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
That's where we're from. Yeah, that's where my My husband's
the mayor of our city of Woodburn. Of Woodburn.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Now, every when I think of in Indiana, I think
of Indianapolis as the hub. Where's Woodburn from the home?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So Fort Wayne? So if you go up to Fort
Wayne and then go east, so we're literally on the
Ohio line.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I got it, Yeah, I got it.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Two hours from Indy.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Do you ever go to Indy quite a bit? Yeah,
Saint Elmos.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
You know what, I think. I've ate there once, so good,
it is good. I'm a ruth Chris kind of got
kind of girl. You know. It's uh.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
But who would have ever thought in Indiana, of all places,
they would have the best shrimp cocktail in the United States?
But they do. It's Saint Elmo's. Alex, you need to
call Saint Elmo's. Maybe we can get a second time
you talked about them on the podcast. It's because it
is fantastic. It's a great state. But the shrimp cocktail
Saint Elmos is a must do so in Indiana. I mean,
(03:34):
how close is the closest live shrimp to Indianapolis? Got
to be a thousand miles away. But it's good, good stuff.
It's over They keep them chilled over ice and the
cocktail sauce is amazing. It's grace play in the world.
So I guess any time we have a guest from Indiana,
everybody's going to have to suffer the Saint Elmo's talk. Well,
thank you, welcome to Memphis. When did you get in
(03:55):
last night?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Last night?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Nice little drive on here a half hours, well eight
and a half hours by car.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know what's that taking in a moving house.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It took us about ten hours.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, it's too bad. It's not too bad. How can
you be a mayor of a city when you're on
the road all the time. What's up with your husband?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well, don'ta's call the people in our city because you
might raise some flags. But he's actually a part time mayor,
so he travels with me. He doesn't travel with me
all the time. I actually have an assistant that travels
with me the majority of the time. But if I
take the motor home out, I ain't taking my assistant.
There ain't no flipping way I'm letting her drive that thing.
No way at all. And I'm sure she's going to
(04:33):
be listening to this when this comes out, So she's
gonna be sitting there going yep, that's exactly right. I'm
not driving it.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I love it. Also with us today is Carrie Buck
who's sitting behind you. Hi, Carrie. Carrie is a huge
fan of the Army and she's volunteered with Alex to
help with stuff recently. And Carrie, it's nice to meet
you face to face. You want to say anything about
carry over there, Alex.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
She's booked your guests coming up, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
She's she's a p A. She's a production assistant. That's
what she is, a volunteered Army production assistant.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Someone else has to suffer dealing with me.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, how'd you find us? Carrie? Well, tell me your
story real quick. Oh you heard us on micro Carrie
is the quinn essential Army member. It's exactly what we're
trying to build across the country. It's pretty cool. Yeah, well, Carrie,
thank you for joining us. Did you find Monica this?
(05:36):
Bernie did? I got it? I'm going to read that,
but I didn't know if if all right?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Well, I'm still curious who Barney is. I'm curious who
Barnie is. Everybody's talking about Barnie.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You're going to have to find out because because I
don't know, but I.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Am literally living under a rock I think right now.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But here's how we know you, Okay, a listener. Our
listeners are called members of the Army of normal folks,
as well as our producer and our videographer and everybody else.
But anyway, Barney Burns, who you need to find? I
do because Barney Burns apparently thinks a lot of you.
Barney Burns, so that you know. At the end of
(06:14):
every show, we encourage guests to email us. We all
leave our personal information personal and we get emails. Alex
and I get emails all the time from people suggesting
folks like you, and so from Barney Burns. Please consider
hosting Monica Kelsey of Woodburn, Indiana on your show. She
(06:36):
is the founder of safe Haven Baby Boxes. The boxes
are installed in fire stations and hospitals so that women
can safely surrender their newborn babies anonymously. Kelthy was abandoned
at birth and I enjoy listening to your show. Her
story is amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I do need to find him, Barney call me, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Barney, I hope you're listening. And at the end of
this Monica's personal info will be there, and you need
to email her so she can. I guess, thank you. Yeah, yeah,
Well we kind of just blew the story up with
Barney's introduction, so let's go back before we get to
baby Boxes. He said you were abandoned. I didn't read
(07:15):
really that into it, but you were adopted for sure.
Why don't you just so we can understand your passion
and what safe haven baby Boxes is. I think it's
important to know the why, and I think the wise
your maine to the story, but it's also so deeply
(07:37):
personal for you, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Very personal for me, and you know, for people to
understand where the passion comes from, they really do need
to go back to the beginning. So let's go And
so my birth mom was seventeen years old. She was
brutally attacked and raped and left along the side of
the road. And this was August of nineteen seventy two,
when abortion was illegal in our country, even in the
cases of rape and incest. And I'm not here to
debate abortion with you. I'm just stating it wasn't available
(08:00):
back then.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
That's just a fact that we could do another four part,
ten hour series on one sentence, but we're not doing
that it's just a fact, it is. It was not there.
Not there.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, And so she pressed charges against this man and
he was arrested and he was charging And then if
that wasn't the worst of it, when she was finally
getting life back to normal, she found out she was
pregnant and she was hidden for the remainder of the
pregnancy and then gave birth in April of nineteen seventy
three and abandoned her child two hours after that child
was born. And that child was me.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And in nineteen seventy three, a seventeen year old senior
junior in high school. Pregnant was a pria.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Oh, it was. It was a problem for everyone. Even
the family was looked at differently. And so my birth
mom was actually hidden from the outside world. She was
taken out of school. And interesting enough, I don't talk
about this a whole lot because I don't want people to, like,
you know, go after my biological family, you know, because
it's out there. You know. I've met my biological mother.
(09:01):
I know who she is, and I talk highly of her,
and I've put a lot of information.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I've got to go after her. She was a victim
of a brutal assault.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Have you been on the internet and listened and listened
to any of the opinions that are out there on
the rape and incest exceptions, and you know, the abortion debate.
It's just I just don't want that to get to
that point. And so but I talk about this part
because it's it's important to understand her tragedy and everything
that was going on in her life. And so this
(09:29):
was August of seventy two. While in October of seventy two,
her dad dies of a massive heart attack. And so
you have this seventeen year old girl that is just
have the worst time of her life, and now her
dad dies and she's taken out. She was completely secluded,
taken away from everyone, and forced to deal with this
(09:50):
by herself. And I don't want women to do that.
I don't want women to be alone. I want women
to know that I have their back.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Now.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
You know, if there's ever a situation where someone needs help,
they don't have to do it behind closed doors and anonymously.
I get the anonymous you know, putting a baby in
a box, but that's not what's beyond the box. That's
just the box. What happens beyond the box is the counseling,
the medical care, you know, me walking alongside these moms.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Now we're way ahead and we're going to get to
all that. It's okay, it's great. There's so much depth
in all of this. But I can't avoid this question.
When I was reading about this, it was kind of
bouncing back and forth whether or not I was going
to even ask you. But after hearing you say it
(10:40):
and look at me when you said it, I have
to ask this. Your natural father, he's on one hand,
is your father. It's your DNA, which has to spurse
some type of connection, although it's also a rapist. How
(11:07):
do you deal with that? You know, not deal with it,
but how does how do you reconcile that?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Well, how I reconciled it was probably not the way
to go. You know. I got to meet my biological
mother when I was thirty seven years old. I actually
found her by accident, and that became the best and
the worst day of my life because I had no idea.
The only thing that I was told growing up was
that my birth parents were young in love and couldn't
care for me, so they placed me for adoption.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That was the happy story to make you feel that.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Is exactly what people did back then to make me
feel better and so that I didn't have to go
through this traumatic event.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Did your adoptive parents know the real story?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
No, they did not know. They were as shocked as
I was. And so knowing that and thinking that these
people loved me so much and they just placed me
for adoption because they couldn't care for me or they
were young. I had this fairy tale family when you know,
growing up, thinking I was going to meet these people
one day, and I wanted to wrap my arms around them,
tell them how much I appreciate them mom and birth dad,
(12:06):
you know. And little did I know that wasn't the
case at all, you know. And so I got to
meet her when I was thirty seven, and I went
to a house and this is in my book. I
don't talk about it a whole lot because it's it
is kind of a It makes my worth go down
when I talk about it, and I think that's just
society and how children conceived out of rape and incest
(12:26):
and abandoned at birth. You know, their worth goes down, and.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
So self worth.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, yeah, inside.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
You had nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
No, I didn't, but society doesn't allow that to be,
you know. It's it's the way that they make us
feel going into a church. Now, I'm a Christian, I
don't make any I am first and foremost that, But
I'll go into a church and I'll speak and they'll say, well,
I'm pro life except in the cases of rape and incest.
And it literally just makes me cringe, like because now
(12:57):
they're making an exception for my life, that I'm not important,
that I'm not worthy of what you got, which was
your life, you know. And it's like, hey, and I
talk about I go back to, you know, the story
of being conceived and rape and my birth mother, you know,
not having the option of abortion. I can tell you definitively,
(13:18):
if abortion was on the table in nineteen seventy two,
you and I would not be talking today. We wouldn't
be And I've asked my biological mother that and she
said the reason why she didn't have an abortion at
a back alley abortion clinic was because she felt that
she was doing something wrong. She was breaking the law,
and she was doing something wrong back then. But back then,
that's that's how you solve this problem. That's what people
(13:39):
thought was the problem was to just get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
And now a few messages from our gender sponsors. But first,
I hope you'll consider signing up to join the army
at normal folks dot us. By signing up, you'll receive
a weekly email with short episode summaries in case you
happen to miss an episode, or if you prefer reading
about our incredible guests. We'll be right back. Oh man,
(14:29):
it's early in this interview.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Coffee to be here.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
No, it's not early in the day, it's early in
the interview. And I don't know. I'm just gonna trust
that you have lived this long enough to stomach my question.
But I myself, and until this very moment, I don't
(14:56):
think I even understood what I was saying. But I
got to tell you I have two daughters, and I've
always said, you know, I really I think all of us,
(15:18):
whether you're Christian or Agnostic, or Jewish or Muslim or not,
I think, on a very human level, every human being
struggles with the question of abortion. The on the one hand,
you have what some people would say is a woman's
right to choose and a woman's right to do what
(15:41):
she wants with her body. Then on the other hand,
you have the science that says that other body also
has rights that happens to be inside the woman's body.
Then you have the then you have the faith issues
and all of it. So, like you said, I really
don't want to get into a abortion debate, but you
(16:02):
just said something that just hammered me when you said it,
because I've always said, you know, if one of my
daughters was raped, I don't know that I would put
them through the trauma of having to have their rapist child.
And even though I personally am repulsed frankly by the
(16:29):
procedure itself, not people who do it, not the decision,
just the procedure itself. I would probably drive my daughter
and hold her hand if had to in the case
of rape. That's been my mentality. But if that mentality
prevailed in my own daughter's life, and my own daughter
(16:49):
was your mother, you wouldn't be alive today.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
You know, And I get it. I do. I get
it because when a woman is, even my birth mom,
brutally attacked and raped, she has to heal physically, she
has to heal emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. There's no changing that.
But killing her child is not going to change that.
It's not going to make it any better. You've just
basically impacted another life and basically made them pay for
(17:15):
the crime of their biological father. And so your grandchild
would be gone, your grandchild, her child, because I'm my
birth mother's child, I'm not his. I am the resistance
in the the what's the word I want to say
without making it sound.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Horrible, it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It is I'm the reflection of her in her strength.
You know, my birth mother she sunk into a depression,
she drugs alcohol. I mean when I met her when
I was thirty seven, she was she you could tell
she had a rough life. Let's just say that she
didn't look to be in her fifties. She looked to
(17:57):
be in her seventies.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Was she on the way or rough life at seventeen?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, No, she came from a good family.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
So that one event changed the completely deflected trajectory of
not only your life but hers.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Yeah. And you know the day that I called her,
And this is the part that is I think the
part that I appreciate the most after knowing her story
is you know the day that I called her, that
I found her. You know, I was like, Hey, do
you know what April nineteen, nineteen seventy three. Does that
mean anything to you? And the first thing she said
was I've been waiting for your call. She had zero
(18:34):
more children after me, Well she had. I'm just so
people don't think I'm lying. She had a child that
died at birth, but she never had any children after
me that lived. And for her, I was that light.
I was that light in the darkness that every every
year on my birthday she baked a cake. And it
wasn't because of who my biological father was. It was
(18:55):
because she was celebrating my life and my dact she
knew me. Every year on my birthday she baked a cake.
Nobody knew why. She just did this because this was
something that made that helped her heal and so oh
my god. But but but look at the look at
the the the part surrounding it. She couldn't change it.
(19:17):
You can't unrape someone. You can't, and you you have
to basically make the best out of a bad situation.
And there's no good that can come out of that.
If you kill this child, there's no good but allowing
a child to be adopted and then helping your daughter heal.
(19:37):
You've now saved her life, and you've also saved the
life of a child whose life was hanging in the
balance by a criminal, literally a criminal that was defining
their life. You know, when you said, I don't know
if you said did the wording that you spawned of
a rapist or I don't know exactly how you said it.
That's not me. You know, my name is Monica Kelcey.
(20:00):
You know I'm the founder of Safe Have in Baby Boxes.
My life has purpose from the day I was born
because Christ gave it to me, and now I'm able
to live it out. You know, I'm doing what He
set out for me back in nineteen seventy three. And
if I would be gone, if I was gone, then
if I would have been aboarded back in nineteen seventy two,
where would these two hundred and some babies be today?
(20:20):
Christ is using me in Genesis fifty twenty, and I
don't know if we're allowed to talk about Bible here,
but I'm going to do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
This is an open force, Okay, So.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Genesis fifty twenty, you intended to harm me, but God
intended it for good to accomplish what is now being
done the saving of many lives. And as much as
my worth has lowered, and I've had to pick myself
up and show people that my life has value. That
it is sad that I have to do that, that
I have to say, you know what, my life does
have value. I'm out there doing what Christ has teld
(20:48):
me to do. I shouldn't have to do that. I
shouldn't have to justify my life, but I do because
I understand. I understand where people are coming from, you know.
But we always have to go back to the beginning
of She has to heal am emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally,
whether we kill her child or not. And so let
something good come out of something bad. And you know,
as a medic, I'm a medican, a firefighter. I think
(21:10):
you probably read about that. I spoke with speaking in
a church one time and I said, just think about
you being in a car accident. The driver was drunk.
You had no reason to be injured. You know, it
was just a bad situation that happened, not your fault.
You can't go to the hospital and say, just cut
my leg off. I know it shattered in fifteen places,
(21:30):
but cut my leg Off. I am not going to
stay in this prace for nine months. There's no way.
Just cut it off. You don't have that choice, and
I'm not trying to justify that. Well, you know the
abortion debate. But you have to heal, is my point.
You have to heal no matter what the situation is,
whether you did it to yourself or you didn't do
it to yourself, you have to heal. And once you heal,
(21:53):
you can find peace. And the decision that you've made.
This is deep already.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I mean, well, this is our show.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I'm about to talk to was it Bernie Bernie Barnie Bartie?
I'm not talking to him?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, yeah, I thought that, dude. So I still didn't
get an answer to the earlier question, although there was
about a thousand deep things in what you've said so far.
But if you don't want to talk about it, tell
me quit asking. Let me tell you give you some perspective.
(22:30):
My dad left home when I was four, and he
died about eighteen months ago, and I didn't even know
until I got a phone call. No relationship there. I
had four more stepfathers, one of which shot at me
down a hallway one night. So while your story and
(22:50):
my story are completely different. There is a similarity in that,
and my father was adopted by the way, you know,
a lot of insecurity about who am I, where do
I come from, and why you know? So that's why
I'm asking this question one more time. How do you
(23:14):
deal with the fact that your father? Did you meet him?
Did you want to meet him? Did you know anything
about him? Did it matter to you? Was it part
of the journey of finding out who you were? Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
But and I guess I kind of did skip over
that answer to that question because you know, when I
met my biological mother, you know, I was sitting on
her couch talking to her.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
And at that when you first met her, you thought
maybe divorced her dad. You still didn't know. You had
to have been hit in the face with that.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I did not take it well. I was sitting on this.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Couch, especially since you believed in a fairy tale leading
up to this, So it not only was not knowing,
it was the antithesis of what you thought. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
So I'm sitting on her couch with my husband by
my side, and we had just drove up to Michigan
to meet her, and she was sitting on this chair,
this recliner chair that didn't match the couch. And I
tell you this because when you deal with situations that
are traumatic, you remember things that really your.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Senses are really heightened in all ways they are. That
is a physiological response to stress.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah. So I was sitting there and then the question
came up, you know, who's my biological father? I want
to meet him? You know, I because she still hadn't
at this point, had not told me anything, you know,
we were just getting to know each other. And so
she got up and she went into this back room
and she grabbed this blue folder that was like, you know,
when you opened it up, it was like tattered and torn,
and it wasn't a new folder. You could tell it
(24:44):
was very aged. And so she pulls out this police
report from nineteen seventy two, and so having this and
I'm listening to her tell me this story, not registering
that not only was she telling me her story, she
was telling me mine, And so I didn't get it.
I was like just like totally taken back, like thinking,
(25:06):
oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for you. I hate
that this happened to you. Yeah, And so we get
in the car afterwards, and my husband's sitting there and
he's just looking at me, and he's like, are you okay?
And I said, of course, I'm okay. Like you don't
believe her?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Like I was like I was once. Once it came
and it hit me, I was like, wait a minute, here,
this is she's just telling me this elaborate story because
she doesn't want to take responsibility for what happened or whatever.
And and he's he looks at me and he's like,
I do believe her? Did you? Was you not listening?
Like are you okay?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
And so for the next six months, I literally sunk
into a depression. I dyed my hair black, was wearing
all black and gray clothes. I was pulling away from
family and friends.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I was trying why I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
It goes back to the worth. It goes back to
me trying to find myself and I can I say.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Something to you, oh man, And this comes from a
place inside of me. Okay, I had a worth problem
because after five fathers at eighteen, you know, I had
good grades. I played six sports in high school. I
(26:42):
was on the chess team. I mean I really worked
hard to do things the right way, and despite all
I did, no man found me valuable enough to hang
around in my life. And you start looking in the
mirror and saying, what is it about me that's so
broken that nobody's willing to stay around and invest in
me long term? What I found out was I was
(27:07):
all right. Those people around me were very broken, and
I finally had to reconcile that it's not me, it's them.
In the same vein, your worth has nothing to do
with those people. That's not you, that's not you. Didn't
(27:29):
create that, that's not your problem. That comes from other
broken people, and you can't let their brokenness break you.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I get that now. I didn't get that done.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I get where you were. So six months you're in
a pretty dark place. Your world's been turned upside down
learning it. I still, despite all of it, wanted to
know my dad, at least know who he was and
where he came from. And I'm still wondering that about you.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Well I had, so I had a police report with
his information on it, and so I went to the extreme.
And this kind of shows is that is exactly what
my husband says all the time.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
But I.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Went to the police department. I wanted to pull the
police reports. I wanted to make sure it was valid.
I went to the courts, I went to the hospital
where I was born or where I was taken, and
everything kept pointing to her story being true. And so
I thought, well, the one person that I know is
going to tell me the truth.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Of course, it's the dude.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
It's the dude. And so I actually have a video
of this, and I've never released it, and I don't
know if I ever will, but I have it just
in case. I don't know, maybe a movie comes out
about me. Maybe I will, I don't know. But we
drove by his house six times.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
So he was out of prison.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Oh yeah, yeah, he lives literally like an hour from me.
He's a teacher at a school.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
What.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, he's since retired since then, but yeah, he was
a teacher at a school. Just can I remember there
was no registries or anything back in nineteen seventy two,
So hold it?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
So did you hold it? So you drove by his house,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
So I found out where he lived. Okay, you know,
of course, this searching and stuff, and this was back
in two thousand and eleven. I think twenty ten, and
we found out where he lived. And I couldn't stop, though,
so I kept having my husband drive by, and so
we literally were videotaping the entire time, driving by six times,
and then finally I'm like, we're going to stop. Let's stop,
And so we pull into the.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Drive First of all, your husband is the boss for
doing that. What's his name, Joe, Joe? Forget being the mayor.
That is that man loves you to do that.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
He's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That's the boss work right there. So anyway, you roll
up in the driveway.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, we pull up in the driveway and there's this
lady on this ladder that's painting the barn. And so
I'm like, all right, this is now or never. I
got one shot and and so we got out and
walked up to this lady and I said, you know,
my name is Monica. And she says, I know who
you are, and you're not welcome here, and uh, I
(30:14):
I don't know what all I said at at that
moment that wasn't probably appropriate to say, but you know,
she says, you know, he doesn't want to be your father,
He's never going to be your father, and and I said,
I don't want him to be my father. I have
a father that adopted me, that loves me, you know,
And she called me a bit am. I allowed to
(30:34):
say that on here. We can bleep it out right.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
It doesn't matter even if even if even if Alex
does bleep it, it's people would know what. I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
But she called me names. And finally my husband stepped
in and goes, you have no idea what you are
doing right now to this to this woman like you,
we need to go because she's done nothing to you.
And this kind of goes back to the you know,
the it's not my fault kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
And he wasn't there at this, at this meeting, and
it's probably a good thing that he wasn't. He was
at school. I didn't realize where he worked at the time.
But he then called that night to my home. I
left to pack it. Yeah, I left to pack it.
I that's me. I'm going to leave everything. I'm as
open and as raw and as reel. And so I
wrote everything down and I left it with her, and
(31:23):
I figured she would just throw it away. And so
that night he called and yeah, it was it was
not good it was not good. So what do you say, Uh, well,
he wanted a DNA test to start off, because he's like, yeah,
it's not true. I don't know what she's telling you,
blah blah blah, this was a lie. And then I
would go back to her and I would say, hey,
this is what he said, and she says, of course
(31:44):
this is and then she and it was like it
was going back and forth, and I was like, I
was I was done. I was just so done, and
so I decided I think that's what I needed though,
to be able to close it was to to learn
his hate towards me also not just her, and that's
when I started to pick myself up and go back
(32:05):
to my faith.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
You use the word reflection. Unfortunately you reflected to him
the worst thing he'd probably ever done in his life,
and his distaste for you was only manifested by probably
his own hatred for himself.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Okay, why in the world have we gone this deep
into this? Because to understand the amazing work you're doing
now and how hard you've worked to make this thing reality,
I think it's really important that people understand why you're
so passionate about it, and if listening to the last
fifteen to twenty minutes of the story hasn't understood, hasn't
(32:50):
helped people to understand your depth of passion, then they
probably don't need to be listening.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Now, get off the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
So thank you for your camp. And it can't be
easy discussing all of that all the time.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
It's not. It gets it's mentally exhausting some days when
I have to do it over and over and over,
and I get that I'm doing Christ's work and that
I'm I'm here to do it because I need to
further You know my purpose. You know that He's given me.
But it is exhausting some days, and it's emotionally exhausting,
which is just worse than physically being exhausted.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Well, you are this five foot tall ball of string
one okay, five foot one fall of strength with a
really bright light around you. So however it got to
this point you know good enough? All right? So you're
raised by loving adoptive family. You knew you were adopted.
(33:49):
You had a story that you were told that turned
out to be the complete backwards opposite of what your
real story was. You found out your story, you found
a way to live You've learned to be a medic
and a firefighter, and you had a career, and you
have a cool husband who I wish was here because
I'd like to I five of him. He loves you
(34:11):
like I love Lisa. It is clear you have children
and you're going on about life. So take me from there.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
So, after I graduated high school, I joined the nineties military,
and that's a big part of my story.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
I'm sorry I forgot that point, which is also not
at all surprising that story. In the military and so
fighters fight.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
That's where I got my love for firefighting. And so
then when I got out, I joined the fire service,
became firefighter and medic and then, yeah, you're right. I
was just going through life and then I stumbled upon
my birth mother at thirty seven, and that kind of
changed the course of my life. And so knowing her story,
I decided to start talking about it and it actually
brought me a little bit of peace and share.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Okay with you talking about it because that's her story
and her trauma too.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
It is her story completely. It's not my trauma. It's
not my story, it's hers.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
But it's your story her trauma.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yeah, Okay, Yeah, I see where you're coming from and that.
But the only thing that she told me not to
do is to ever give her last name. And so
I've never publicly said heard it. Yeah, So I started
talking about it, and it actually became a little bit
of therapy for me, being out there and talking and
getting people's reaction. And the more I talked, the more
I appreciated the response that people were getting. And it's
just like almost like I had this gift of telling
(35:22):
people not only my story, but reality, you know, reality
of a child not being here because you decide to
take you know, the rape and incests.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Monica, maybe sure that your son encouraged that it was
a beautiful story of you guys sitting.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Down with the family and yeah, yeah, so well. And
that was one of the things that I always wanted
to do, was I always if it was going to
be me out there speaking, the entire family had to
do it because we were going to be under scrutiny.
We were going to there were people that were gonna
hate us that were on the other side of this.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
When you say on the other side this, do you
mean on the other side.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Of the abortion debate?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Okay? And I knew that people were going to come
at us and they were going to attack my family.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Can I ask you something real quick before we go.
Let's see, here's one of those squirrels I'm gonna chase
up with.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Try. I do squirrels all time, so okay, can we
believe that out I do not do squirrels. Okay, all right,
So let your husband know. I.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Do you empathize with the other side of the abortion
debate that you believe in?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
You mean the people that believe in abortion. Do I
emphathize with them? I do, because I think they're being
lied to. I don't think that they're.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Okay, forget it. Let's say they're not being lied to.
They're discerning, very intelligent people.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
There are a lot of intelligent people on that side.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
If somebody is on the other side of your belief
set on that debate, can you empathize with their position?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I can understand it. Empathy for them, I don't know.
I'd have to get back to you on that. I'd
have to probably dig a little bit deeper because I
was one of those people. Though that said, I'm pro
life except in the cases of ravenizence. I sat in
a church you know years ago.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
That's what I mean. That's excited I was going there.
My question was, before you find out where you were from?
Where were you on that I was there. That's why
I think you should empathize with them, is what I'm
That's just what's going on in my squirrely head.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Well, but I don't think they're given the full truth,
you know, and I don't think they're given reaction to
this moment.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I don't think I was. I've never met a U.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
It's good to meet you, Bill, good.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
To meet you as well, and I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Thank you lead them here too.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
And that concludes Part one of my conversation with Monica Kelsey. Guys,
don't miss part two. It's now available to listen to.
We're about to dive deep and to save Haydn Baby boxes. Together, guys,
we can change this country, but it starts with you.
I'll see in Part two
Every three days in America, a baby is left somewhere.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Say that again, Every three days.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
In America, a baby is being left somewhere.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
What does left mean?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
In a dumpster, in a trash can, alongside a highway,
in a shoe box, under a bed, that's left that
these babies are meant to die. And so knowing that,
I started talking to this legislator and saying, we if
we could save one of those three.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Every three days, every three days this.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Country, in the United States of America, a baby is hostile.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And we're not talking about left at a police station
or a fire state right now or not, We're not
talking about that. We're talking about thrown.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Away, dumped.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, that is horrifying. Yeah, welcome to an army of
normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'm a normal I'm a husband,
I'm a father, I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a
football coach in Inner City Memphis. Somehow that last part
(01:09):
led to an oscar for the film about our team.
That movie is called Undefeated. I believe our country's problems
are never going to be solved by a bunch of
fancy people in nice suits using big words that nobody
ever uses on CNN and Fox, but rather by an
army of normal folks. That's us, just you and me deciding, Hey,
(01:32):
you know what I can help. That's what Monica Kelsey,
the voice you just heard, has done. She's fighting to
solve the scourge of abandoned babies in America candidly, something
that I was shocked happens as much as it does.
Her nonprofit Safe Haven Baby Boxes has helped to save
(01:53):
hundreds of babies so far. I cannot wait for you
to beat Monica. Right after these brief messages from our
general sponsors, Monica Kelsey, Welcome to Memphis.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
How'd you get here? You drove, you walked a dog?
What were you telling about?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Well, I have been walking my dog. Actually she ws
out at three am, you know, and five and six.
But we travel in a motorhome and my husband and
I are those people now, you know, the fifty year
olds that have the motor home, the Toby Hind vehicle
and the dog. That's us. Yeah, that's us. That's how
we got here. So we stayed at the KOA last night.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
And Woodburn, right, Woodburn, Indiana.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
That's where we're from. Yeah, that's where my My husband's
the mayor of our city of Woodburn. Of Woodburn.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Now, every when I think of in Indiana, I think
of Indianapolis as the hub. Where's Woodburn from the home?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So Fort Wayne? So if you go up to Fort
Wayne and then go east, so we're literally on the
Ohio line.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I got it, Yeah, I got it.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Two hours from Indy.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Do you ever go to Indy quite a bit? Yeah,
Saint Elmos.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
You know what, I think. I've ate there once, so good,
it is good. I'm a ruth Chris kind of got
kind of girl. You know. It's uh.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
But who would have ever thought in Indiana, of all places,
they would have the best shrimp cocktail in the United States?
But they do. It's Saint Elmo's. Alex, you need to
call Saint Elmo's. Maybe we can get a second time
you talked about them on the podcast. It's because it
is fantastic. It's a great state. But the shrimp cocktail
Saint Elmos is a must do so in Indiana. I mean,
(03:34):
how close is the closest live shrimp to Indianapolis? Got
to be a thousand miles away. But it's good, good stuff.
It's over They keep them chilled over ice and the
cocktail sauce is amazing. It's grace play in the world.
So I guess any time we have a guest from Indiana,
everybody's going to have to suffer the Saint Elmo's talk. Well,
thank you, welcome to Memphis. When did you get in
(03:55):
last night?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Last night?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Nice little drive on here a half hours, well eight
and a half hours by car.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You know what's that taking in a moving house.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
It took us about ten hours.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Yeah, it's too bad. It's not too bad. How can
you be a mayor of a city when you're on
the road all the time. What's up with your husband?
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well, don'ta's call the people in our city because you
might raise some flags. But he's actually a part time mayor,
so he travels with me. He doesn't travel with me
all the time. I actually have an assistant that travels
with me the majority of the time. But if I
take the motor home out, I ain't taking my assistant.
There ain't no flipping way I'm letting her drive that thing.
No way at all. And I'm sure she's going to
(04:33):
be listening to this when this comes out, So she's
gonna be sitting there going yep, that's exactly right. I'm
not driving it.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I love it. Also with us today is Carrie Buck
who's sitting behind you. Hi, Carrie. Carrie is a huge
fan of the Army and she's volunteered with Alex to
help with stuff recently. And Carrie, it's nice to meet
you face to face. You want to say anything about
carry over there, Alex.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
She's booked your guests coming up, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
She's she's a p A. She's a production assistant. That's
what she is, a volunteered Army production assistant.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Someone else has to suffer dealing with me.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, how'd you find us? Carrie? Well, tell me your
story real quick. Oh you heard us on micro Carrie
is the quinn essential Army member. It's exactly what we're
trying to build across the country. It's pretty cool. Yeah, well, Carrie,
thank you for joining us. Did you find Monica this?
(05:36):
Bernie did? I got it? I'm going to read that,
but I didn't know if if all right?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Well, I'm still curious who Barney is. I'm curious who
Barnie is. Everybody's talking about Barnie.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You're going to have to find out because because I
don't know, but I.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Am literally living under a rock I think right now.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But here's how we know you, Okay, a listener. Our
listeners are called members of the Army of normal folks,
as well as our producer and our videographer and everybody else.
But anyway, Barney Burns, who you need to find? I
do because Barney Burns apparently thinks a lot of you.
Barney Burns, so that you know. At the end of
(06:14):
every show, we encourage guests to email us. We all
leave our personal information personal and we get emails. Alex
and I get emails all the time from people suggesting
folks like you, and so from Barney Burns. Please consider
hosting Monica Kelsey of Woodburn, Indiana on your show. She
(06:36):
is the founder of safe Haven Baby Boxes. The boxes
are installed in fire stations and hospitals so that women
can safely surrender their newborn babies anonymously. Kelthy was abandoned
at birth and I enjoy listening to your show. Her
story is amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I do need to find him, Barney call me, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Barney, I hope you're listening. And at the end of
this Monica's personal info will be there, and you need
to email her so she can. I guess, thank you. Yeah, yeah,
Well we kind of just blew the story up with
Barney's introduction, so let's go back before we get to
baby Boxes. He said you were abandoned. I didn't read
(07:15):
really that into it, but you were adopted for sure.
Why don't you just so we can understand your passion
and what safe haven baby Boxes is. I think it's
important to know the why, and I think the wise
your maine to the story, but it's also so deeply
(07:37):
personal for you, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Very personal for me, and you know, for people to
understand where the passion comes from, they really do need
to go back to the beginning. So let's go And
so my birth mom was seventeen years old. She was
brutally attacked and raped and left along the side of
the road. And this was August of nineteen seventy two,
when abortion was illegal in our country, even in the
cases of rape and incest. And I'm not here to
debate abortion with you. I'm just stating it wasn't available
(08:00):
back then.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
That's just a fact that we could do another four part,
ten hour series on one sentence, but we're not doing
that it's just a fact, it is. It was not there.
Not there.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, And so she pressed charges against this man and
he was arrested and he was charging And then if
that wasn't the worst of it, when she was finally
getting life back to normal, she found out she was
pregnant and she was hidden for the remainder of the
pregnancy and then gave birth in April of nineteen seventy
three and abandoned her child two hours after that child
was born. And that child was me.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And in nineteen seventy three, a seventeen year old senior
junior in high school. Pregnant was a pria.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Oh, it was. It was a problem for everyone. Even
the family was looked at differently. And so my birth
mom was actually hidden from the outside world. She was
taken out of school. And interesting enough, I don't talk
about this a whole lot because I don't want people to, like,
you know, go after my biological family, you know, because
it's out there. You know. I've met my biological mother.
(09:01):
I know who she is, and I talk highly of her,
and I've put a lot of information.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
I've got to go after her. She was a victim
of a brutal assault.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Have you been on the internet and listened and listened
to any of the opinions that are out there on
the rape and incest exceptions, and you know, the abortion debate.
It's just I just don't want that to get to
that point. And so but I talk about this part
because it's it's important to understand her tragedy and everything
that was going on in her life. And so this
(09:29):
was August of seventy two. While in October of seventy two,
her dad dies of a massive heart attack. And so
you have this seventeen year old girl that is just
have the worst time of her life, and now her
dad dies and she's taken out. She was completely secluded,
taken away from everyone, and forced to deal with this
(09:50):
by herself. And I don't want women to do that.
I don't want women to be alone. I want women
to know that I have their back.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Now.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
You know, if there's ever a situation where someone needs help,
they don't have to do it behind closed doors and anonymously.
I get the anonymous you know, putting a baby in
a box, but that's not what's beyond the box. That's
just the box. What happens beyond the box is the counseling,
the medical care, you know, me walking alongside these moms.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Now we're way ahead and we're going to get to
all that. It's okay, it's great. There's so much depth
in all of this. But I can't avoid this question.
When I was reading about this, it was kind of
bouncing back and forth whether or not I was going
to even ask you. But after hearing you say it
(10:40):
and look at me when you said it, I have
to ask this. Your natural father, he's on one hand,
is your father. It's your DNA, which has to spurse
some type of connection, although it's also a rapist. How
(11:07):
do you deal with that? You know, not deal with it,
but how does how do you reconcile that?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Well, how I reconciled it was probably not the way
to go. You know. I got to meet my biological
mother when I was thirty seven years old. I actually
found her by accident, and that became the best and
the worst day of my life because I had no idea.
The only thing that I was told growing up was
that my birth parents were young in love and couldn't
care for me, so they placed me for adoption.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That was the happy story to make you feel that.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Is exactly what people did back then to make me
feel better and so that I didn't have to go
through this traumatic event.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Did your adoptive parents know the real story?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
No, they did not know. They were as shocked as
I was. And so knowing that and thinking that these
people loved me so much and they just placed me
for adoption because they couldn't care for me or they
were young. I had this fairy tale family when you know,
growing up, thinking I was going to meet these people
one day, and I wanted to wrap my arms around them,
tell them how much I appreciate them mom and birth dad,
(12:06):
you know. And little did I know that wasn't the
case at all, you know. And so I got to
meet her when I was thirty seven, and I went
to a house and this is in my book. I
don't talk about it a whole lot because it's it
is kind of a It makes my worth go down
when I talk about it, and I think that's just
society and how children conceived out of rape and incest
(12:26):
and abandoned at birth. You know, their worth goes down, and.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
So self worth.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, yeah, inside.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
You had nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
No, I didn't, but society doesn't allow that to be,
you know. It's it's the way that they make us
feel going into a church. Now, I'm a Christian, I
don't make any I am first and foremost that, But
I'll go into a church and I'll speak and they'll say, well,
I'm pro life except in the cases of rape and incest.
And it literally just makes me cringe, like because now
(12:57):
they're making an exception for my life, that I'm not important,
that I'm not worthy of what you got, which was
your life, you know. And it's like, hey, and I
talk about I go back to, you know, the story
of being conceived and rape and my birth mother, you know,
not having the option of abortion. I can tell you definitively,
(13:18):
if abortion was on the table in nineteen seventy two,
you and I would not be talking today. We wouldn't
be And I've asked my biological mother that and she
said the reason why she didn't have an abortion at
a back alley abortion clinic was because she felt that
she was doing something wrong. She was breaking the law,
and she was doing something wrong back then. But back then,
that's that's how you solve this problem. That's what people
(13:39):
thought was the problem was to just get rid of it.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
And now a few messages from our gender sponsors. But first,
I hope you'll consider signing up to join the army
at normal folks dot us. By signing up, you'll receive
a weekly email with short episode summaries in case you
happen to miss an episode, or if you prefer reading
about our incredible guests. We'll be right back. Oh man,
(14:29):
it's early in this interview.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Coffee to be here.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
No, it's not early in the day, it's early in
the interview. And I don't know. I'm just gonna trust
that you have lived this long enough to stomach my question.
But I myself, and until this very moment, I don't
(14:56):
think I even understood what I was saying. But I
got to tell you I have two daughters, and I've
always said, you know, I really I think all of us,
(15:18):
whether you're Christian or Agnostic, or Jewish or Muslim or not,
I think, on a very human level, every human being
struggles with the question of abortion. The on the one hand,
you have what some people would say is a woman's
right to choose and a woman's right to do what
(15:41):
she wants with her body. Then on the other hand,
you have the science that says that other body also
has rights that happens to be inside the woman's body.
Then you have the then you have the faith issues
and all of it. So, like you said, I really
don't want to get into a abortion debate, but you
(16:02):
just said something that just hammered me when you said it,
because I've always said, you know, if one of my
daughters was raped, I don't know that I would put
them through the trauma of having to have their rapist child.
And even though I personally am repulsed frankly by the
(16:29):
procedure itself, not people who do it, not the decision,
just the procedure itself. I would probably drive my daughter
and hold her hand if had to in the case
of rape. That's been my mentality. But if that mentality
prevailed in my own daughter's life, and my own daughter
(16:49):
was your mother, you wouldn't be alive today.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
You know, And I get it. I do. I get
it because when a woman is, even my birth mom,
brutally attacked and raped, she has to heal physically, she
has to heal emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. There's no changing that.
But killing her child is not going to change that.
It's not going to make it any better. You've just
basically impacted another life and basically made them pay for
(17:15):
the crime of their biological father. And so your grandchild
would be gone, your grandchild, her child, because I'm my
birth mother's child, I'm not his. I am the resistance
in the the what's the word I want to say
without making it sound.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Horrible, it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
It is I'm the reflection of her in her strength.
You know, my birth mother she sunk into a depression,
she drugs alcohol. I mean when I met her when
I was thirty seven, she was she you could tell
she had a rough life. Let's just say that she
didn't look to be in her fifties. She looked to
(17:57):
be in her seventies.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Was she on the way or rough life at seventeen?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, No, she came from a good family.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
So that one event changed the completely deflected trajectory of
not only your life but hers.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Yeah. And you know the day that I called her,
And this is the part that is I think the
part that I appreciate the most after knowing her story
is you know the day that I called her, that
I found her. You know, I was like, Hey, do
you know what April nineteen, nineteen seventy three. Does that
mean anything to you? And the first thing she said
was I've been waiting for your call. She had zero
(18:34):
more children after me, Well she had. I'm just so
people don't think I'm lying. She had a child that
died at birth, but she never had any children after
me that lived. And for her, I was that light.
I was that light in the darkness that every every
year on my birthday she baked a cake. And it
wasn't because of who my biological father was. It was
(18:55):
because she was celebrating my life and my dact she
knew me. Every year on my birthday she baked a cake.
Nobody knew why. She just did this because this was
something that made that helped her heal and so oh
my god. But but but look at the look at
the the the part surrounding it. She couldn't change it.
(19:17):
You can't unrape someone. You can't, and you you have
to basically make the best out of a bad situation.
And there's no good that can come out of that.
If you kill this child, there's no good but allowing
a child to be adopted and then helping your daughter heal.
(19:37):
You've now saved her life, and you've also saved the
life of a child whose life was hanging in the
balance by a criminal, literally a criminal that was defining
their life. You know, when you said, I don't know
if you said did the wording that you spawned of
a rapist or I don't know exactly how you said it.
That's not me. You know, my name is Monica Kelcey.
(20:00):
You know I'm the founder of Safe Have in Baby Boxes.
My life has purpose from the day I was born
because Christ gave it to me, and now I'm able
to live it out. You know, I'm doing what He
set out for me back in nineteen seventy three. And
if I would be gone, if I was gone, then
if I would have been aboarded back in nineteen seventy two,
where would these two hundred and some babies be today?
(20:20):
Christ is using me in Genesis fifty twenty, and I
don't know if we're allowed to talk about Bible here,
but I'm going to do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
This is an open force, Okay, So.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Genesis fifty twenty, you intended to harm me, but God
intended it for good to accomplish what is now being
done the saving of many lives. And as much as
my worth has lowered, and I've had to pick myself
up and show people that my life has value. That
it is sad that I have to do that, that
I have to say, you know what, my life does
have value. I'm out there doing what Christ has teld
(20:48):
me to do. I shouldn't have to do that. I
shouldn't have to justify my life, but I do because
I understand. I understand where people are coming from, you know.
But we always have to go back to the beginning
of She has to heal am emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally,
whether we kill her child or not. And so let
something good come out of something bad. And you know,
as a medic, I'm a medican, a firefighter. I think
(21:10):
you probably read about that. I spoke with speaking in
a church one time and I said, just think about
you being in a car accident. The driver was drunk.
You had no reason to be injured. You know, it
was just a bad situation that happened, not your fault.
You can't go to the hospital and say, just cut
my leg off. I know it shattered in fifteen places,
(21:30):
but cut my leg Off. I am not going to
stay in this prace for nine months. There's no way.
Just cut it off. You don't have that choice, and
I'm not trying to justify that. Well, you know the
abortion debate. But you have to heal, is my point.
You have to heal no matter what the situation is,
whether you did it to yourself or you didn't do
it to yourself, you have to heal. And once you heal,
(21:53):
you can find peace. And the decision that you've made.
This is deep already.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I mean, well, this is our show.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I'm about to talk to was it Bernie Bernie Barnie Bartie?
I'm not talking to him?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, yeah, I thought that, dude. So I still didn't
get an answer to the earlier question, although there was
about a thousand deep things in what you've said so far.
But if you don't want to talk about it, tell
me quit asking. Let me tell you give you some perspective.
(22:30):
My dad left home when I was four, and he
died about eighteen months ago, and I didn't even know
until I got a phone call. No relationship there. I
had four more stepfathers, one of which shot at me
down a hallway one night. So while your story and
(22:50):
my story are completely different. There is a similarity in that,
and my father was adopted by the way, you know,
a lot of insecurity about who am I, where do
I come from, and why you know? So that's why
I'm asking this question one more time. How do you
(23:14):
deal with the fact that your father? Did you meet him?
Did you want to meet him? Did you know anything
about him? Did it matter to you? Was it part
of the journey of finding out who you were? Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
But and I guess I kind of did skip over
that answer to that question because you know, when I
met my biological mother, you know, I was sitting on
her couch talking to her.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
And at that when you first met her, you thought
maybe divorced her dad. You still didn't know. You had
to have been hit in the face with that.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I did not take it well. I was sitting on this.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Couch, especially since you believed in a fairy tale leading
up to this, So it not only was not knowing,
it was the antithesis of what you thought. Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
So I'm sitting on her couch with my husband by
my side, and we had just drove up to Michigan
to meet her, and she was sitting on this chair,
this recliner chair that didn't match the couch. And I
tell you this because when you deal with situations that
are traumatic, you remember things that really your.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Senses are really heightened in all ways they are. That
is a physiological response to stress.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah. So I was sitting there and then the question
came up, you know, who's my biological father? I want
to meet him? You know, I because she still hadn't
at this point, had not told me anything, you know,
we were just getting to know each other. And so
she got up and she went into this back room
and she grabbed this blue folder that was like, you know,
when you opened it up, it was like tattered and torn,
and it wasn't a new folder. You could tell it
(24:44):
was very aged. And so she pulls out this police
report from nineteen seventy two, and so having this and
I'm listening to her tell me this story, not registering
that not only was she telling me her story, she
was telling me mine, And so I didn't get it.
I was like just like totally taken back, like thinking,
(25:06):
oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for you. I hate
that this happened to you. Yeah, And so we get
in the car afterwards, and my husband's sitting there and
he's just looking at me, and he's like, are you okay?
And I said, of course, I'm okay. Like you don't
believe her?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Like I was like I was once. Once it came
and it hit me, I was like, wait a minute, here,
this is she's just telling me this elaborate story because
she doesn't want to take responsibility for what happened or whatever.
And and he's he looks at me and he's like,
I do believe her? Did you? Was you not listening?
Like are you okay?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
And so for the next six months, I literally sunk
into a depression. I dyed my hair black, was wearing
all black and gray clothes. I was pulling away from
family and friends.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I was trying why I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
It goes back to the worth. It goes back to
me trying to find myself and I can I say.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Something to you, oh man, And this comes from a
place inside of me. Okay, I had a worth problem
because after five fathers at eighteen, you know, I had
good grades. I played six sports in high school. I
(26:42):
was on the chess team. I mean I really worked
hard to do things the right way, and despite all
I did, no man found me valuable enough to hang
around in my life. And you start looking in the
mirror and saying, what is it about me that's so
broken that nobody's willing to stay around and invest in
me long term? What I found out was I was
(27:07):
all right. Those people around me were very broken, and
I finally had to reconcile that it's not me, it's them.
In the same vein, your worth has nothing to do
with those people. That's not you, that's not you. Didn't
(27:29):
create that, that's not your problem. That comes from other
broken people, and you can't let their brokenness break you.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I get that now. I didn't get that done.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I get where you were. So six months you're in
a pretty dark place. Your world's been turned upside down
learning it. I still, despite all of it, wanted to
know my dad, at least know who he was and
where he came from. And I'm still wondering that about you.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Well I had, so I had a police report with
his information on it, and so I went to the extreme.
And this kind of shows is that is exactly what
my husband says all the time.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
But I.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Went to the police department. I wanted to pull the
police reports. I wanted to make sure it was valid.
I went to the courts, I went to the hospital
where I was born or where I was taken, and
everything kept pointing to her story being true. And so
I thought, well, the one person that I know is
going to tell me the truth.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Of course, it's the dude.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
It's the dude. And so I actually have a video
of this, and I've never released it, and I don't
know if I ever will, but I have it just
in case. I don't know, maybe a movie comes out
about me. Maybe I will, I don't know. But we
drove by his house six times.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
So he was out of prison.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Oh yeah, yeah, he lives literally like an hour from me.
He's a teacher at a school.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
What.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, he's since retired since then, but yeah, he was
a teacher at a school. Just can I remember there
was no registries or anything back in nineteen seventy two,
So hold it?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
So did you hold it? So you drove by his house,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
So I found out where he lived. Okay, you know,
of course, this searching and stuff, and this was back
in two thousand and eleven. I think twenty ten, and
we found out where he lived. And I couldn't stop, though,
so I kept having my husband drive by, and so
we literally were videotaping the entire time, driving by six times,
and then finally I'm like, we're going to stop. Let's stop,
And so we pull into the.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Drive First of all, your husband is the boss for
doing that. What's his name, Joe, Joe? Forget being the mayor.
That is that man loves you to do that.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
He's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
That's the boss work right there. So anyway, you roll
up in the driveway.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, we pull up in the driveway and there's this
lady on this ladder that's painting the barn. And so
I'm like, all right, this is now or never. I
got one shot and and so we got out and
walked up to this lady and I said, you know,
my name is Monica. And she says, I know who
you are, and you're not welcome here, and uh, I
(30:14):
I don't know what all I said at at that
moment that wasn't probably appropriate to say, but you know,
she says, you know, he doesn't want to be your father,
He's never going to be your father, and and I said,
I don't want him to be my father. I have
a father that adopted me, that loves me, you know,
And she called me a bit am. I allowed to
(30:34):
say that on here. We can bleep it out right.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
It doesn't matter even if even if even if Alex
does bleep it, it's people would know what. I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
But she called me names. And finally my husband stepped
in and goes, you have no idea what you are
doing right now to this to this woman like you,
we need to go because she's done nothing to you.
And this kind of goes back to the you know,
the it's not my fault kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
And he wasn't there at this, at this meeting, and
it's probably a good thing that he wasn't. He was
at school. I didn't realize where he worked at the time.
But he then called that night to my home. I
left to pack it. Yeah, I left to pack it.
I that's me. I'm going to leave everything. I'm as
open and as raw and as reel. And so I
wrote everything down and I left it with her, and
(31:23):
I figured she would just throw it away. And so
that night he called and yeah, it was it was
not good it was not good. So what do you say, Uh, well,
he wanted a DNA test to start off, because he's like, yeah,
it's not true. I don't know what she's telling you,
blah blah blah, this was a lie. And then I
would go back to her and I would say, hey,
this is what he said, and she says, of course
(31:44):
this is and then she and it was like it
was going back and forth, and I was like, I
was I was done. I was just so done, and
so I decided I think that's what I needed though,
to be able to close it was to to learn
his hate towards me also not just her, and that's
when I started to pick myself up and go back
(32:05):
to my faith.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
You use the word reflection. Unfortunately you reflected to him
the worst thing he'd probably ever done in his life,
and his distaste for you was only manifested by probably
his own hatred for himself.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Okay, why in the world have we gone this deep
into this? Because to understand the amazing work you're doing
now and how hard you've worked to make this thing reality,
I think it's really important that people understand why you're
so passionate about it, and if listening to the last
fifteen to twenty minutes of the story hasn't understood, hasn't
(32:50):
helped people to understand your depth of passion, then they
probably don't need to be listening.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
Now, get off the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
So thank you for your camp. And it can't be
easy discussing all of that all the time.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
It's not. It gets it's mentally exhausting some days when
I have to do it over and over and over,
and I get that I'm doing Christ's work and that
I'm I'm here to do it because I need to
further You know my purpose. You know that He's given me.
But it is exhausting some days, and it's emotionally exhausting,
which is just worse than physically being exhausted.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Well, you are this five foot tall ball of string
one okay, five foot one fall of strength with a
really bright light around you. So however it got to
this point you know good enough? All right? So you're
raised by loving adoptive family. You knew you were adopted.
(33:49):
You had a story that you were told that turned
out to be the complete backwards opposite of what your
real story was. You found out your story, you found
a way to live You've learned to be a medic
and a firefighter, and you had a career, and you
have a cool husband who I wish was here because
I'd like to I five of him. He loves you
(34:11):
like I love Lisa. It is clear you have children
and you're going on about life. So take me from there.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
So, after I graduated high school, I joined the nineties military,
and that's a big part of my story.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
I'm sorry I forgot that point, which is also not
at all surprising that story. In the military and so
fighters fight.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
That's where I got my love for firefighting. And so
then when I got out, I joined the fire service,
became firefighter and medic and then, yeah, you're right. I
was just going through life and then I stumbled upon
my birth mother at thirty seven, and that kind of
changed the course of my life. And so knowing her story,
I decided to start talking about it and it actually
brought me a little bit of peace and share.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Okay with you talking about it because that's her story
and her trauma too.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
It is her story completely. It's not my trauma. It's
not my story, it's hers.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
But it's your story her trauma.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yeah, Okay, Yeah, I see where you're coming from and that.
But the only thing that she told me not to
do is to ever give her last name. And so
I've never publicly said heard it. Yeah, So I started
talking about it, and it actually became a little bit
of therapy for me, being out there and talking and
getting people's reaction. And the more I talked, the more
I appreciated the response that people were getting. And it's
just like almost like I had this gift of telling
(35:22):
people not only my story, but reality, you know, reality
of a child not being here because you decide to
take you know, the rape and incests.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Monica, maybe sure that your son encouraged that it was
a beautiful story of you guys sitting.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Down with the family and yeah, yeah, so well. And
that was one of the things that I always wanted
to do, was I always if it was going to
be me out there speaking, the entire family had to
do it because we were going to be under scrutiny.
We were going to there were people that were gonna
hate us that were on the other side of this.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
When you say on the other side this, do you
mean on the other side.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Of the abortion debate?
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Okay? And I knew that people were going to come
at us and they were going to attack my family.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Can I ask you something real quick before we go.
Let's see, here's one of those squirrels I'm gonna chase
up with.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Try. I do squirrels all time, so okay, can we
believe that out I do not do squirrels. Okay, all right,
So let your husband know. I.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Do you empathize with the other side of the abortion
debate that you believe in?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
You mean the people that believe in abortion. Do I
emphathize with them? I do, because I think they're being
lied to. I don't think that they're.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Okay, forget it. Let's say they're not being lied to.
They're discerning, very intelligent people.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
There are a lot of intelligent people on that side.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
If somebody is on the other side of your belief
set on that debate, can you empathize with their position?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
I can understand it. Empathy for them, I don't know.
I'd have to get back to you on that. I'd
have to probably dig a little bit deeper because I
was one of those people. Though that said, I'm pro
life except in the cases of ravenizence. I sat in
a church you know years ago.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
That's what I mean. That's excited I was going there.
My question was, before you find out where you were from?
Where were you on that I was there. That's why
I think you should empathize with them, is what I'm
That's just what's going on in my squirrely head.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
Well, but I don't think they're given the full truth,
you know, and I don't think they're given reaction to
this moment.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I don't think I was. I've never met a U.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
It's good to meet you, Bill, good.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
To meet you as well, and I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Thank you lead them here too.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
And that concludes Part one of my conversation with Monica Kelsey. Guys,
don't miss part two. It's now available to listen to.
We're about to dive deep and to save Haydn Baby boxes. Together, guys,
we can change this country, but it starts with you.
I'll see in Part two
Host
Bill Courtney
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.