August 19, 2025 • 40 mins
Pam was a member of National Service League, where moms and daughters do service projects. But she's got 3 sons, so she thought why not start something for moms and sons to do this too?! 24 years later, Young Men’s Service League has 199 chapters with 33,000 moms and sons serving together!
Support the show: https://www.normalfolks.us/premium
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, everybody is Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.
We continue now with part two of our conversation with
Pam Rosner right after these brief messages from our general sponsors,
(00:26):
The Ultimate Gift, tell us what that is? Okay?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
So, Jim Stoveall wrote a book called The Ultimate Gift,
and I think it came out late nineties. He's also
done a movie and Jim Garner was in the movie.
So most people know the movie more than the book
because nobody reads anymore. And so, but somebody had handed
me the book. One of my philanthropy partners handed to
me the book and said, I think you'd really like this.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
And I read it.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I was on a flight somewhere and I read it
and I sat there for a men and I was
just shut my eyes, and I was just like, how
can I bring this concept into young men's service ly?
And so I got back, told my board do this.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Let's go in.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
And still we were relatively isolated in the Dallas area,
and I said, let's go in and find a philanthropy
that we're going to give them an Ultimate Gift event
and where we can do something for them that they
couldn't do for themselves that's been on their dream bucket
list of things to do.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
And so we started really small.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
The first project we did was just a massive cleanup
for City House, which is an organization that helps teens
who were homeless in Plano. So we went in and
we cleaned up the buildings and did paint and repairs
and yard work and all that. It was just a
relatively small job, but you know, it got the ball
rolling and we started growing with that, and we first
(01:37):
had it centralized in Dallas and the last time that
we did one that was managed by the national organization
was twenty twelve. We did fifteen projects around the Metroplex
in two weekends and coordinated thousands of volunteering fifteen different ones.
We built a deck for a low income school that
didn't have any kind of performing stage.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
We built that.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
We built a playground at a low income apartment complex.
We repainted a shelter, We furnished two full apartment units
that for people coming out of transitioning transition homes or housing,
and I mean it just went on and on. We
did major majors.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
And we're talking boys and their moms doing this. Yes,
not a dad in.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Sight now a couple of dads helped.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Construction cub scouts or something constructed moms boys.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, yeah, we had a We had a little help
on some of the construction stuffcause we didn't want aybody
to get hurt.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
But still that is so cool.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So I just don't that, well, this is silly stuff
that we did. When we did that playground. I actually
rented a Bobcat and got it and put it on
a trailer and drove it to downtown Dallas.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
And myself, I don't even know what I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I mean, I can't imagine the liability that I had
with it.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I didn't even think about it. And we you know,
and I got it there in this for a husband
and he used it and cleared the ground for the
playground who used it.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I had a guy who was a professional that took
apart and built you know, the wooden play sets, and
so he's helped that.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
He's the one who helped make sure we put it
together right because somebody had donated it.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Did he get on the bobcast, Yeah yeah, I just
was hoping it was you. That would have been very cool.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
It wasn't me.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Still cracking that thing around those us are heavy, and
the Baker's trailer and what were you in?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
What a pickup truck? Oh boy, yeah, it wasn't mine.
It was my my my partner.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
She was running the events with us, and we called
it affectionately, called it miss Kitty.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I mean, we were taking Miss Kitty down town.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Some fond memories I have of it. But we've grown
the program now.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Last year we did one hundred and twenty Ultimate Gift
of this across the country.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Across the country.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Tell me about some of them.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Oh, there's another group in let's see in McKinney who
did adaptive sports. And so this was very interesting because
for the training part of this, the kids had to
come in and learn how to play basketball one handed
or with you know, not seeing correctly.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Or what do you mean adaptive? Explain them.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I mean for children who have handicaps that have to
play sports differently because they may not have eyesight or
coordination of both arms or legs or you know whatever.
So they adapt the sport so that they can still
play it. And so we went through this training thing
and had the boys trying to do all these things.
(04:38):
You know, it was the one arm around their back
or to teach them what it felt like to be
participating in a sport with the same kind of restrictions
that the people they were serving. So when they did
this big event for them, they it was very, very sweet,
and the young men just really jumped in and loved
on these kids and just really did a nice job.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I read a story, or maybe I listened to a
ted talk you did. I don't know where this comes from,
but I choked up. There was a little boy at
a baseball practice.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Oh yeah, I love.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Tell us tell it because I want our listeners to understand. Certainly,
the effect that you're having on the people you're serving
is profound and important, but I'm not sure that equally
important is the fact that it's having on the boys
that are doing the service.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
That's a win win for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
You know.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I think this was a story.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
We have something called Angel League in this is also
in Collin County, and so for six weeks at a time,
they play a single sport, and so this particular season
was baseball, and so our moms and sons show up
and they do the games with the kids, and they
show up consistently for six weeks.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
So this one time. This young man showed.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Up and he happened to be giving his speech at
this senior as a senior at his banquet, and he
shared this story and he said, I call it just
an hour, but it was so much more. And he
went in on to explain that he showed up and
there was this little boy kind of pouting off to
the side, and he went up to the baseball practice. Yeah,
and he's like, you know, digging around to the dirt.
(06:25):
And he's like, hey, hey, dude, what's up. You know
what's going on? And he goes, well, I really don't
like baseball. And he said, well, what do you like
to play? And he goes, I like soccer. So this
kid happened to have a soccer ball. He went and
got a soccer ball out of his car and made
some goals right for the boy, and he just played
(06:46):
with him for the hour while he was there, running
up and down the field, you know, kicking the ball
in between the goals and scoring and having fun with him.
And he says, and then I got on in my car,
went home, went to school. Didn't think about it. The
next week when I came, the mom and dad came
running up to me and said, thank you so much.
And he goes for what you know, And they said
(07:10):
they had videotaped the little boy scoring and being excited
and high fiving, and they said this our son came
home every day this week and looked at that video
after he got home from school, and it made him
so happy. And so the young man was sharing the
story and he said, this is the first time it
really impacted me that the hour that I served made
(07:33):
a difference in somebody's life. And he said, and and
it just changed his whole perspective on his time and
how valuable his time was. And I thought it was
so great. I've shared it for years because I do
just love the story and it shows what our goal.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Our goal is honestly, you know too.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
What's profound to me about that is that's a lesson
learned and then recited by an eighteen year old that
many fifty year olds never learned. Yes, that's to me
is the depth of the work that you guys have created,
is you're taking boys and putting young men into society.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
We feel like we can kind of change the world,
one guy at a time in the best way. You know,
we teach that heart as well as you know how
to be a leader with that heart. Right, we want
our young men to grow up to be good leaders
and set great examples for their peer groups make good decisions.
(08:39):
And they can do that by leading with the experiences
that they have and understanding how to treat people. You know,
you treat all people with respect, it doesn't matter what
their circumstances are. And you know that can rub off
on other people, right. We can rub off on young
men who aren't in Young Men's Service League, who they
might be playing sports with, who start to taunt somebody
(09:01):
or whatever and one of our guys says, hey, quit it.
You know, like they're little tiny ways that it can spread,
that the acts can spread across from you know, person
to person.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You have to have seen firsthand significant changes in kids'
attitudes toward oh yeah, people, situations, places. I mean, as
I guess, I guess I'm saying, I guess I'm asking
you should be put words in your mouth. What has
(09:35):
the been the rewards for you?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
M hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
It's you know, sometimes they get caught up in all
the busyness, right of just managing people, keeping everybody happy, recruiting,
you know, because we have such a huge volunteer base
that runs our national organization and trying.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
To inspire the leaders. You know, there's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Things that, you know, go on in this little head
and and sometimes I have to go back and see
and hear and watch the videos and see the impact
to remind myself that's it. That's why I keep going
because of that, you know, the impact that I see
in the young men, and I have people, you know,
whose moms will write back ten years later and say,
(10:19):
we love our years and young men servicely give was
some of the most meaningful things we've ever done.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
And so that's what my reward is.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
You know, I think I just feel really good about
I think listening to the proud you know, listening to
the whisper listen, I feel like I listened to God right,
and so he's using my gifts and talents and the
best way I think he can to make the biggest impact.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
We'll be right back. I got to believe that the
relationships that already exist because let's be on us, sons
and mamas have that kind of relationship, but doing this
work together and going through this together has got to
(11:07):
even strengthen that lone as well. That's got to be
pretty cool because I mean, honestly, we're talking about stuff
that traditionally you would expect a guy to go do
with his dad, right, and mom is showing up saying no,
I could do this too. I mean, power mom. That's cool.
I mean I would expect that there's some respect gained
(11:33):
by a mom from her son and a relationship that
even grows more through this work together.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I mean, do you see that I started to allude
to it. We call it the ride home.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
You know, you drag him by the ear to get
out and then you you know, and then you get
to have the conversation in the car on the way
home and talk through some things and they get to
see a different side of you as a mom. You know,
they're so used to hearing you nag them about everything,
and you know, maybe have a little fun, but mostly
it's you know, we got to do this, you got
to do that, and the crazy life that we all lead.
(12:09):
And then you know, you can share some funny stories,
you can share some heart wrenching stories. You know, what
did you think when you saw that house? You know,
and how somebody was living it and really have an
opportunity to share on a different level, and I do
think it creates a stronger bond with your kids.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I don't know who said it, but I read it
or heard it somewhere a long time ago. But it's
what you just said reminds me of. It is that
it's really important as a father and a husband to
let your children see the woman you fell in love
with mm hm. Not the mom, Not the one sitting
at the house cooking and cleaning and griping get out
(12:49):
on time and all of that stuff, because that's her
job and she does it dutifully, selfishly and honorably. But
children need to see the woman that you fell in
love with. They need to have that opportunity. And this
feels like it provides that.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Although I will say, sometimes even the men don't know
that side of their wife, right they that interesting, Yeah,
the wife may have come into that at some later
point or in her serving, and maybe you didn't do
that when you were twenty two, you know, And so
there are other, you know, other sides to it, And
so I actually think it extends the same impact can
(13:30):
extend into the marriage, right because you know, for instance,
my husband, he worked his tail off he was working
fourteen hours a day most at the time we were
raising kids, and so he didn't ever get to go
volunteer or you know, have those kind of times. And
then for him to see and understand it now that
he's older, his whole approach to humanity is different. And
(13:50):
I think it's because he sees the things that we've
been involved in and how we've made impacts. And so
I do think that, you know, there's there's that also,
you know, I think, yes, it's important to see who
they fell in love with, but it's also important maybe
to see them grow too, you know, see the women
grow too.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah. I mean, I just as I hear you, I
keep thinking, but I mean, then packed on families, then
packed on relationships, the impact on young men to learn service,
the impact on young men to learn practical lessons, the
impact on children to see their mother in a cool
light that that woman deserves. And then all of the
(14:32):
service hours that you do for all of these people
and these philanthropic partners that you have and we're talking
thirty thousand, five hundred.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Thirty three something, yelp something. Yeah, we did seven hundred
and fifty thousand hours last.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Year and one hundred and ninety nine chapters, with around
twenty five kids in each chapter and twenty five moms
in each chapter.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
All it's one hundred moms a hundred boy. Is each
chapter twenty five per grade level?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
From seven of you sitting at lunch one.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Oh yeah, yeah, it's the power of action, right.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
It is the power of action. But you pinch yourself
a little. Oh yeah, also kind of. I also kind
of really perked up in my chair. You said, I'm paraphrasing,
and fix me because I must screw this up. But
I think you said something like I was forty one
or forty two when this happened, and that's when I
found my purpose. Is that what you said?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I really feel like it's my It's been my purpose.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, I really, you know, making money is great, and
I love and I actually love love real estate.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I love selling real estate.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
I'm successful at doing it, but this is rewarding in
such a different way, and I really honestly feel like
this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
So, you know, I think that at forty two.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah, I didn't know it then, but as I got
a little older, I realized it. I mean I felt
it the purpose come, but I didn't know it was
going to go.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
You know, Alex and I hear a lot by virtue
of the show, I want to get involved so much,
and the butt is I don't know how, I don't
know where. You know, I don't know if I have time,
you know. And we've highlighted people as simple as just
(16:23):
taking an hour every month to go get blood or platelets,
to emphasize every normal person, yeah has all of us
have issues at home, We have money problems, we have frustrations,
we have kids doing stupid stuff, we have we all have.
Life is messy. Yes, you don't do it because you
(16:44):
have a perfect life. You do it despite the difficulties
that come along in life. And even if you only
have a little time, there's something to do. So we're
constantly talking about that. But we also say, and it's
never too late. It hadn't opportunities have never passed you by.
And I think you're kind of a gleaming example of
(17:05):
a person who you know, middle aged, I guess is
forty two. I'm fifty six now, so that means I'm
old at middle aged forty, But at that time in
your life to just make the decision to go do it.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah, Bill, do.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
You remember a shop talk with Matthew Kelly. You're never
too young and you're never too old. Yeah, So I'll
go through a couple of these risks. So tire Woods
when he was three years old when he first broke
fifty Portsar was eight years old when he wrote his
first symphony, and frank was thirteen when she began her diary.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
One of the ones I remember.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Mother Teresa was forty years old when she began her
work in Calcutta. At forty years old, I never remember
some guys like climbed like kill him and jar On
like their seventies or eighties. Benjamin Franklin was seventy nine
when he invented bifocals. This guy ran a marathon when
he was ninety eight.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
What are you going to do when you're ninety eight?
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Oh, I hope I'm sleeping.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I don't know, I think, you know, yeah, I don't
know what I'm going to be doing. You know, I
am thankful I'm healthy and you know, still able to
go and do. And you know, I love to inspire
people to try just start small, you know, with whatever
it is you want to do, And I said that
in my Ted talk. You know, we listen to what
you're prompting is and even if you start with just
(18:28):
a little bit, you know, it can change and roll
into something, or you may inspire somebody else just by
what you've done that can create a momentum going somewhere else.
I mean, I love what you're doing with your organization
and trying to inspire people to to start taking care,
you know, and giving that back. It doesn't have to
be like life changing where you know you have to
(18:49):
give up your whole life.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
It's like they say in church, sometimes you don't have
to go serve in missions across, you know, on the
other side of the world to be able to help.
You can help right here. You know, you can help
one hour a month. You know, if that's all you got,
that's all you got.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Do you know what percent of people?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
All?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Right? First of all, if you have cancer and operation
something simple throughout your life, you're gonna need blood at
some point, right, I mean, everybody's gonna need at some point.
And if you somehow get through life without ever needing
a little bit of blood, someone very close to you
that you love dearly will need blood. That's one hundred percent. Right.
(19:29):
Do you know what percent of the blood used across
our country every day is donated by the public. What
percent of the public.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I don't know that one under three. I was gonna
say three. That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I know it's not ninety one hundred percent of us
will need blood and one hundred percent of the blood
supply for every American is provided by three percent of us. Wow, now,
why can't we at least do that?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You know their service, right, It's from that all the
way to the So here's a question.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Everybody's like, Oh, I'm gonna faint. I can't do that,
and it's going to make me feel bad, right, I
hear My husband is the worst.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
He does not like to give blood, so he'd be
mad at me for saying that. But it's true. You know,
some people do have a phobia about it, but it's not.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, the point is twenty what if we got and
things we can do? But here's the question. There's moms
listening to us right now, who are like, you mean,
I get a old packet and it's kind of hand
fed to me. How to do it? All I gotta
do is get a few moms and kids together and
(20:40):
she'll teach me everything and walk me through it through organization.
The answer is yes, how do they find it?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
So if they go to YMSL dot org y m
s L s for Young Men's service Men Service League
dot org, you can scroll down and it says find
a chapter, and if there isn't a chapter in their location,
then there's a link to We do webinars and they
should be starting about two weeks where we do one
(21:06):
every other week on a Tuesday night at seven Central time,
and you can log in and hear our presentation and
then from there, if you're interested, the next step is
you gather a group of moms, you bring them back
on a call, or we'll schedule a separate call, and
then we'll take it off and running. So we start
new chapters in the spring. Right now is our a
little bit of our slow time, and then we start
(21:28):
new chapters. You know, we'll start working with you now,
but they won't launch until May one of next year
for this next calendar year, and so that gives us
lots of time to teach you leadership and get your
membership in place, and and really you know, get you
ramped up and ready to go.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
The one thing we hadn't talked about some money. And
I know I've read that you said, we don't like
give a lot of money, but it does cost money
to buy pay boards and a Bob Pat driver, a
cross down those things call's plays. So how does that
work inside your deal?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
So most of our philanthropies, when we do work, if
we have to provide supplies, the chapters can have a
little bit of a budget for that out of their dues.
So all the members pay dues to be part of
our organization, and the chapter runs off of what they
raise for dues. They can have part of their budget
allocated for materials, but generally the stuff we do is
not heavy in the supply needs. Sometimes when we do
(22:31):
these ultimate gift projects, we may bring in partners from
the community to help underwrite, you know, not underwrite, but
you know, give in kind.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Materials that we need. This year, we're very.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Excited because in twenty will be twenty five years old.
We're going to start kicking that off. In March of
next year, we're going to do a major nonprofit organized
or philanthropy event with Sleep and Heavenly Peace. Are you
really and so we are going to be raising funds
specifically for that because we'd like to build beds in
every city for one weekend in September in twenty twenty six,
(23:05):
and so we're going to be doing some specific fundraising
for that because it's about three hundred dollars a bed,
I think for them to do come in and help
us with that. So we you know, we are working
on that. And then we are just kicking off this
year some fundraising for the national organization so that we
can gather resources for our chapters to come to and say, hey,
(23:25):
we have this opportunity, but we don't have the funds.
Can National give you know, something from out of this
budget that we're going to start building for events like that,
so that we can do bigger, more impactful things. Because
if you bring four hundred volunteers into something, a lot
can happen over three days, you know, and we have
you know, we can do that times two hundred, so
(23:48):
we could do some major, major things. So I'd love
to build five thousand beds or something in Dallas Fort
Worth in September of twenty six.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
We'll see that's so cool, but it's awesome and I
get it and it makes sense. But the point is
if you're thinking about this and wondering about the chapter
and then the dreaded fundraising.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Oh, you don't have to do that at all.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Now you're not doing that.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
It's against the bylaws.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
You're actually, Oh is it? It's even against Not only
do I have to you can't, right, But the point
is you sons and moms getting together and providing themselves
for service. And it's not a bunch of fundraising. It's
it's partnering with other philanthropies to fill needs with your
(24:34):
time and your offering. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
So each chapter has about twenty philanthropy partners. They go
out and identify them themselves and set up their schedules.
We have an app so you can actually go on
the app and schedule your time with your son whenever
it's convening it for you. And it's so much easier
than calling twenty different places to find you know, if
you can volunteer for an hour, so the.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Chapter will set up all of that.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
There are the dues per member, which is just the
mom run about two hundred thirty a year for the
for the members in each chapter, and that's the only
expense that you have, and you will not be asked
to go raise funds. I was a mom of for
I didn't want to sell popcorn, gift.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Grab, any of that.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I ran booster clubs. I said, no, we're not doing
that to our moms. They're going to just give their
service and their time, and we're going to keep it simple.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
We'll be right back. I'm really embarrassed that I've never
heard of this before.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Oh wow, that's what I said. I need to get
out and do this. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And the second thing is I hope some Memphis moms
are hearing this and decide to reach out. Me too, Listeners,
I'll get after it. What's up listeners? Ever?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
Yeah, yeah, everywhere it does, we'll go anywhere it can't.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
It has to be a talent that will have at
least five thousand hours of service a year.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
That's our restriction.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Uh. We are actually almost tapped out in Dallas and
Austin because there's just not enough service hours anymore with
all the competing organizations. But we're wide open in so
many places, and so we do have sometimes some small
towns that reach out and they they're so excited and
then we realize they have like two hundred volunteer hours,
and we're like, we can't support you know, we can't
(26:19):
support that well.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
And the reason I say Memphis is because.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Memphis has got plenty of hours.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I'm sure I'm a proud Memphis person, but obviously it's
a show going out all over the country and there's
do you know any do you have target any target
cities that you're not in that you're like, we really
need to be there. Have y'all done that, Chris, Memphis
is one.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, Memphis is one. We've just started moving kind of
to east coast, so we just started Carolina's and Virginia, Connecticut,
New York, Pennsylvania, all up the east coast. We don't
have anything in Alabama yet. We don't have Yeah, we
don't have anything in Birmingham. Yeah, we don't have anything.
We have a chapters in Nashville, but we don't have
(27:02):
I'm trying to think other Knoxville. We don't have we Arizona.
We need chapters in Arizona. We need chapters in southern California.
We are let's see, we have Phoenix. No, we don't
have anything in any Arizona.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Oh my gosh, you're gonna triple after this call, after
this thing, there's gonna be people I haven't called. How
is there a limit? I mean, how big do you
want to go?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
As big as it needs to be.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
I love that. So you're ready to roll?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, somebody is like, well, are you going international? It's like, well,
we haven't thought about that. That presents a whole other slew.
I said, let's take care of the US first, and
then then if we you know, we still have a
lot of time, we can venture to Canada or across
the across the pond.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
As they say, you literally have an army of moms
and teenage boys. Yes, that is phenomenal, the army of
normal folks that we want to build and talking about
you've done with moms and Tina.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
You know, I want to say before the end of
the show, I am the leader, but I am definitely
not the one who's done everything, you know. I try
to tell everybody that I have one hundred and thirty
people on my leadership team right now. Wow, and probably
only twelve of those may have a little salary, not much,
not even salary consulting fee. Everybody else is a volunteer
(28:28):
and they work their tails off and I've been surrounded
by incredibly gifted, passionate, intelligent women who have helped me
rise to the next level every step of the way.
And I cannot take the credit for this organization because
it has been such a team and we have such
a unique culture in our leadership that it would be
(28:51):
a disservice to them. I honestly can tell you that
there is just the greatest group of people that I
work with, and I'm very blessed every day with them.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah, a lot of us end up the face or
mouthpiece of an organization, but we're never there without lots
and lots of help. So I appreciate you mentioned that.
I'm sure your people do too, Alex.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
I love them.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
I think one thing with your ted talk like the
nudges that people get and the three different types of
responses if you can bring people through that.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
So I started it by saying, you know, everybody has
a moment. I think you know where you have you're quiet,
and you get an idea or something comes into your
mind about a need that you see or whatever, and
there's three kinds of responses to it. It's the person
who takes action, you know, and says yes, I'm going
to go I'm going to take it. I'm going to
(29:45):
do it, just let me find the way. Then there's
the person who sits there and they're like, oh, I
can't do that. You know, the doubt I said, I
called it the devil sitting on your shoulder, saying, you know,
you're you're not smart enough, You're not you know, you
don't have enough money, you don't have enough time, you
don't know how to do that, and you don't have
a clue. And then they never do anything with it,
(30:07):
and it just nags at them a little bit that
they never did anything. And then there's the other person
who really never hears, and it's because they aren't attuned
to you know, sometimes we can get so busy in
our day to day life that we don't have time
to just process and go, oh, you know, maybe there
is something I could do here, and so they don't
ever hear. I say that they're deaf to the whisper,
(30:31):
you know. And I think those three things, those three
people are what we have in the world, with so
many things and so many great ideas. Are the people
who take action and probably so many lost ideas that
haven't ever happened because they didn't take action, And.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
How side is that? And the whole point is act.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Yes, Wait, one more thing. You also did it on
a very personal level too. Can you talk about Garrett?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
My son had a friend in high school when they
were in ninth grade who he came home and said, Mom,
can I have some money for I'm going to put
some money in my friend's lunch account. And I was like, okay, sure,
tell me a little bit about him, you know what's
going on. And he's like, well, he's just you know, troubled.
He needs money, he can't eat, and I you know,
if we can do that, that would be great. And
(31:22):
I was like okay, And so I did that, and
then I did that for a while, and then I
went and met Garrett and met this person that he
was living with and talked to them a little bit
and said, hey, I can help out with some groceries,
you know, you know, tell me more about this. So
we got involved with in Garrett's life a little bit.
And then Garrett left the school and went to what's
called special programs in Plano where kids who are struggling
(31:46):
in school go. And one day the principal called me
up and said, hey, I have Garrett here sitting at
my table, and I don't think he's going to make it.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
And I mean and I'm like, so what do you
mean He's well, first.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Of all, he called me, yeah, like and she goes, yeah,
he told me to call you.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
And I said, that's phenomenal. That that's who this kid
needed a call. Yeah, that speaks to the absence in
his life. Oh, not that you aren't wonderful, but the
point is, call his buddy's mom, who gave him a
little little lunch money. Where's his family?
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah, well that's that turned out to be a story.
So I went I said, well, what do I need
to do? And she goes, I think you should come
pick him up? And I was like, oh okay. So
I hang up the phone and I'm like, and I
just you know again, go, I said, go. I jumped
in the car, go over there, pick him up. And
(32:44):
I said, where are you living? And he goes, well,
I'll show you where you're living.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Is I'm gonna lose Garrett.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
I think he was suicidal.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
He's the principal said that to you in front of Garrett.
Are you kidding me? Okay, so you go pick him up. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
So I sit there with his team boy, who's you know,
he's a big boy, six foot something and big boy,
and just tears sitting in my kitchen table, and I
start talking to him and I was like, well, you know,
in my mind, I thought, oh, I will I will
go and you help him for a week or two.
I'll try to see if he can go into City House.
You know, I didn't really ever think it was going
(33:24):
to be anything permanent. And my husband comes home for
dinner that night and I was like, look, who's here
for dinner?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Nice to meet you? And then afterwards he's like, so,
why how long is he here? And I was like,
I'm not sure, but we're just going we'll work it out,
work it out. And so I took him to City
House and he walked out. He goes, I'm not doing that.
It's the house for Team Helmless Team halfway home.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
I'm like, well how.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I was like, okay, what does that mean? And so
he ended up living with us. We got him through high.
He didn't he didn't have a driver's license or anything.
I got him a driver's license, got him enrolled in school,
got him a job, and then I found out along
the way his history. And you know, I don't want
(34:18):
to reveal too much because I don't want to embarrass him,
but he had grown up in a family, very abusive family.
He was rescued from his family at age twelve, had
lived in a half buried school bus somewhere out in
the wilderness and kind of sofa surfed for a while,
lived with a family member for a little while that
didn't work out, and then you know, a lot of
(34:40):
things came into play. You know, he had a lot
of wounds, he had a lot of pain, he had trauma, trauma,
he had some you know, some substance abuse issues that
I didn't know about. And we went on a journey
I need to write another book about It was quite
a journey. And he ended up graduating high school, which
(35:02):
was a miraculous event because he didn't even start school
till he was twelve. So he graduated high school. He
abandoned us for off and on a couple of times
came back very broken. I don't know, probably around twenty
twenty one.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Have he abandoned you because you held him accountable to
some semblance of rules and he just revolted against me.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
So he would almost feel more comfortable sometimes living with
other homeless people. Still like he would go in and out,
and some of it had to do with the subs
and stuff. And one day he came back he said,
can I come back? And I was like, sure, you
can always come back. You know, we love you. And
my old my middle boy was living at home at
(35:42):
the time. I didn't share this on the Ted Talk,
but and he had just graduated college. He's trying to
be a professional golfer, and he's very faithful, and he
and Garrett spent a lot of time upstairs talking and
when they went one day to it they had a
at young adult church thing at our church and they
(36:02):
Grant took him there and he had a lot of
spiritual wounds and still does to this day. But at
that day he walked up and decided to give his
life to Christ with my son. He gave up alcohol,
he gave up all his drugs. He completely cleaned himself up,
started his own business, then decided that was too much
(36:24):
and went into the military. Got out of the army,
is now working with one of the big aircraft companies
in Saudi Arabia and is thriving and doing well. Still
has a few demons and things he's dealing with, but
he's doing very well and very proud of him. And
you know, you know you were saying earlier, we all
(36:45):
have life struggles. We've been through some ups and downs
with my own kids. With him, you know, just there's
it's not easy. It's not an easy path, but it
was definitely life saving for him.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
The yes was life saving which started.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
With your son. One of the drops some money in
this kid's at lunch account. You never know what little
act of service might do, and quite literally, if he's suicidal,
that act in your family's act very likely saved.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
His life lots and lots of different ways, you know.
And my husband was not a fan all the time,
and it impacted our family. I mean, I'm bringing a
teenage band with all of these things. It was a challenge.
But my husband has grown to respect him, and he
respects him my husband and is almost more like him
than me. It's kind of funny, and they have a
great relationship now and he's overcome so much to get
(37:43):
where he.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Is and it's a beautiful story. Yeah, the story itself
is beautiful. The moral to it, again, I think, is
ties right back to what can I do? Well? You
can see somebody that's hungry and put money in their
lunch account.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
That's a little thing.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, I mean there are so many kids, teenagers who
are doing that exact same thing. They're sofa surfing from
one friend's house. And the only reason I knew about
it was because of my involvement with City House and
to start with, so I didn't If I hadn't had
that exposure, I would not have even understood what that
meant because I didn't think there were homeless teens.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
You know a lot of life from a mom sitting
at a lunch Yeah. Pretty amazing and still going strong. Everybody.
It is called national excuse me, Young Men's Service League,
and Pam is the national president. And I would say founder,
(38:42):
but I guess you're going to say co founder or.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
My sister in law co founded with me.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
She was involved for the first eight years or so,
and then she got us stop.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
So Pam Rosner from Plano, Texas, what an amazing story.
Thank you oh so.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Much for having them at the US and sharing it fun.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
And I am praying that people from all over the city,
all over the country, call and start chapters with you. Well,
come on, Memphis, this is something would be good for
the city, good for boys, their moms, everything, And this is.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
We can start four chapters, five chapters, you guys. Just
let us know how many.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
I love it. I'm sitting with thinking one you're already doing.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
We we like at least in the city this big,
we probably need at least four or five.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Just to start with.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Sure, absolutely, because it's all.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
You know, like the high schools are all spread out.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
That's right. Yeah, yeah, we can do it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
We can do it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Pray Rose, everybody, thank.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
You, thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
This is great, and thank you for joining us this week.
If Pamrose and her as inspired you in general, or
better yet, to take action by joining one of the
one ninety nine chapters of Young's Men's Service League, or
starting your own in your own community, or something else entirely,
(40:00):
let me know I want to hear about it. Write
me anytime at Bill at normalfolks dot us. If you
enjoyed this episode, share it with friends and on social
subscribe to the podcast, rate and review it. Join the
Army at normal folks dot us. Guys, the more of you,
the more impact we have, so any and all of
(40:22):
these things that help us grow an army and normal
folks is vital. I'm Bill Courtney. Until next time, do
what you can
Hey, everybody is Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.
We continue now with part two of our conversation with
Pam Rosner right after these brief messages from our general sponsors,
(00:26):
The Ultimate Gift, tell us what that is? Okay?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
So, Jim Stoveall wrote a book called The Ultimate Gift,
and I think it came out late nineties. He's also
done a movie and Jim Garner was in the movie.
So most people know the movie more than the book
because nobody reads anymore. And so, but somebody had handed
me the book. One of my philanthropy partners handed to
me the book and said, I think you'd really like this.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
And I read it.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I was on a flight somewhere and I read it
and I sat there for a men and I was
just shut my eyes, and I was just like, how
can I bring this concept into young men's service ly?
And so I got back, told my board do this.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Let's go in.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
And still we were relatively isolated in the Dallas area,
and I said, let's go in and find a philanthropy
that we're going to give them an Ultimate Gift event
and where we can do something for them that they
couldn't do for themselves that's been on their dream bucket
list of things to do.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
And so we started really small.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
The first project we did was just a massive cleanup
for City House, which is an organization that helps teens
who were homeless in Plano. So we went in and
we cleaned up the buildings and did paint and repairs
and yard work and all that. It was just a
relatively small job, but you know, it got the ball
rolling and we started growing with that, and we first
(01:37):
had it centralized in Dallas and the last time that
we did one that was managed by the national organization
was twenty twelve. We did fifteen projects around the Metroplex
in two weekends and coordinated thousands of volunteering fifteen different ones.
We built a deck for a low income school that
didn't have any kind of performing stage.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
We built that.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
We built a playground at a low income apartment complex.
We repainted a shelter, We furnished two full apartment units
that for people coming out of transitioning transition homes or housing,
and I mean it just went on and on. We
did major majors.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
And we're talking boys and their moms doing this. Yes,
not a dad in.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Sight now a couple of dads helped.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Construction cub scouts or something constructed moms boys.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, yeah, we had a We had a little help
on some of the construction stuffcause we didn't want aybody
to get hurt.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
But still that is so cool.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So I just don't that, well, this is silly stuff
that we did. When we did that playground. I actually
rented a Bobcat and got it and put it on
a trailer and drove it to downtown Dallas.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
And myself, I don't even know what I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I mean, I can't imagine the liability that I had
with it.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I didn't even think about it. And we you know,
and I got it there in this for a husband
and he used it and cleared the ground for the
playground who used it.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I had a guy who was a professional that took
apart and built you know, the wooden play sets, and
so he's helped that.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
He's the one who helped make sure we put it
together right because somebody had donated it.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Did he get on the bobcast, Yeah yeah, I just
was hoping it was you. That would have been very cool.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
It wasn't me.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Still cracking that thing around those us are heavy, and
the Baker's trailer and what were you in?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
What a pickup truck? Oh boy, yeah, it wasn't mine.
It was my my my partner.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
She was running the events with us, and we called
it affectionately, called it miss Kitty.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I mean, we were taking Miss Kitty down town.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Some fond memories I have of it. But we've grown
the program now.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Last year we did one hundred and twenty Ultimate Gift
of this across the country.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Across the country.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Tell me about some of them.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Oh, there's another group in let's see in McKinney who
did adaptive sports. And so this was very interesting because
for the training part of this, the kids had to
come in and learn how to play basketball one handed
or with you know, not seeing correctly.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Or what do you mean adaptive? Explain them.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I mean for children who have handicaps that have to
play sports differently because they may not have eyesight or
coordination of both arms or legs or you know whatever.
So they adapt the sport so that they can still
play it. And so we went through this training thing
and had the boys trying to do all these things.
(04:38):
You know, it was the one arm around their back
or to teach them what it felt like to be
participating in a sport with the same kind of restrictions
that the people they were serving. So when they did
this big event for them, they it was very, very sweet,
and the young men just really jumped in and loved
on these kids and just really did a nice job.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I read a story, or maybe I listened to a
ted talk you did. I don't know where this comes from,
but I choked up. There was a little boy at
a baseball practice.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Oh yeah, I love.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Tell us tell it because I want our listeners to understand. Certainly,
the effect that you're having on the people you're serving
is profound and important, but I'm not sure that equally
important is the fact that it's having on the boys
that are doing the service.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
That's a win win for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
You know.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I think this was a story.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
We have something called Angel League in this is also
in Collin County, and so for six weeks at a time,
they play a single sport, and so this particular season
was baseball, and so our moms and sons show up
and they do the games with the kids, and they
show up consistently for six weeks.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
So this one time. This young man showed.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Up and he happened to be giving his speech at
this senior as a senior at his banquet, and he
shared this story and he said, I call it just
an hour, but it was so much more. And he
went in on to explain that he showed up and
there was this little boy kind of pouting off to
the side, and he went up to the baseball practice. Yeah,
and he's like, you know, digging around to the dirt.
(06:25):
And he's like, hey, hey, dude, what's up. You know
what's going on? And he goes, well, I really don't
like baseball. And he said, well, what do you like
to play? And he goes, I like soccer. So this
kid happened to have a soccer ball. He went and
got a soccer ball out of his car and made
some goals right for the boy, and he just played
(06:46):
with him for the hour while he was there, running
up and down the field, you know, kicking the ball
in between the goals and scoring and having fun with him.
And he says, and then I got on in my car,
went home, went to school. Didn't think about it. The
next week when I came, the mom and dad came
running up to me and said, thank you so much.
And he goes for what you know, And they said
(07:10):
they had videotaped the little boy scoring and being excited
and high fiving, and they said this our son came
home every day this week and looked at that video
after he got home from school, and it made him
so happy. And so the young man was sharing the
story and he said, this is the first time it
really impacted me that the hour that I served made
(07:33):
a difference in somebody's life. And he said, and and
it just changed his whole perspective on his time and
how valuable his time was. And I thought it was
so great. I've shared it for years because I do
just love the story and it shows what our goal.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Our goal is honestly, you know too.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
What's profound to me about that is that's a lesson
learned and then recited by an eighteen year old that
many fifty year olds never learned. Yes, that's to me
is the depth of the work that you guys have created,
is you're taking boys and putting young men into society.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
We feel like we can kind of change the world,
one guy at a time in the best way. You know,
we teach that heart as well as you know how
to be a leader with that heart. Right, we want
our young men to grow up to be good leaders
and set great examples for their peer groups make good decisions.
(08:39):
And they can do that by leading with the experiences
that they have and understanding how to treat people. You know,
you treat all people with respect, it doesn't matter what
their circumstances are. And you know that can rub off
on other people, right. We can rub off on young
men who aren't in Young Men's Service League, who they
might be playing sports with, who start to taunt somebody
(09:01):
or whatever and one of our guys says, hey, quit it.
You know, like they're little tiny ways that it can spread,
that the acts can spread across from you know, person
to person.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You have to have seen firsthand significant changes in kids'
attitudes toward oh yeah, people, situations, places. I mean, as
I guess, I guess I'm saying, I guess I'm asking
you should be put words in your mouth. What has
(09:35):
the been the rewards for you?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
M hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
It's you know, sometimes they get caught up in all
the busyness, right of just managing people, keeping everybody happy, recruiting,
you know, because we have such a huge volunteer base
that runs our national organization and trying.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
To inspire the leaders. You know, there's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Things that, you know, go on in this little head
and and sometimes I have to go back and see
and hear and watch the videos and see the impact
to remind myself that's it. That's why I keep going
because of that, you know, the impact that I see
in the young men, and I have people, you know,
whose moms will write back ten years later and say,
(10:19):
we love our years and young men servicely give was
some of the most meaningful things we've ever done.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
And so that's what my reward is.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
You know, I think I just feel really good about
I think listening to the proud you know, listening to
the whisper listen, I feel like I listened to God right,
and so he's using my gifts and talents and the
best way I think he can to make the biggest impact.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
We'll be right back. I got to believe that the
relationships that already exist because let's be on us, sons
and mamas have that kind of relationship, but doing this
work together and going through this together has got to
(11:07):
even strengthen that lone as well. That's got to be
pretty cool because I mean, honestly, we're talking about stuff
that traditionally you would expect a guy to go do
with his dad, right, and mom is showing up saying no,
I could do this too. I mean, power mom. That's cool.
I mean I would expect that there's some respect gained
(11:33):
by a mom from her son and a relationship that
even grows more through this work together.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I mean, do you see that I started to allude
to it. We call it the ride home.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
You know, you drag him by the ear to get
out and then you you know, and then you get
to have the conversation in the car on the way
home and talk through some things and they get to
see a different side of you as a mom. You know,
they're so used to hearing you nag them about everything,
and you know, maybe have a little fun, but mostly
it's you know, we got to do this, you got
to do that, and the crazy life that we all lead.
(12:09):
And then you know, you can share some funny stories,
you can share some heart wrenching stories. You know, what
did you think when you saw that house? You know,
and how somebody was living it and really have an
opportunity to share on a different level, and I do
think it creates a stronger bond with your kids.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I don't know who said it, but I read it
or heard it somewhere a long time ago. But it's
what you just said reminds me of. It is that
it's really important as a father and a husband to
let your children see the woman you fell in love
with mm hm. Not the mom, Not the one sitting
at the house cooking and cleaning and griping get out
(12:49):
on time and all of that stuff, because that's her
job and she does it dutifully, selfishly and honorably. But
children need to see the woman that you fell in
love with. They need to have that opportunity. And this
feels like it provides that.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Although I will say, sometimes even the men don't know
that side of their wife, right they that interesting, Yeah,
the wife may have come into that at some later
point or in her serving, and maybe you didn't do
that when you were twenty two, you know, And so
there are other, you know, other sides to it, And
so I actually think it extends the same impact can
(13:30):
extend into the marriage, right because you know, for instance,
my husband, he worked his tail off he was working
fourteen hours a day most at the time we were
raising kids, and so he didn't ever get to go
volunteer or you know, have those kind of times. And
then for him to see and understand it now that
he's older, his whole approach to humanity is different. And
(13:50):
I think it's because he sees the things that we've
been involved in and how we've made impacts. And so
I do think that, you know, there's there's that also,
you know, I think, yes, it's important to see who
they fell in love with, but it's also important maybe
to see them grow too, you know, see the women
grow too.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah. I mean, I just as I hear you, I
keep thinking, but I mean, then packed on families, then
packed on relationships, the impact on young men to learn service,
the impact on young men to learn practical lessons, the
impact on children to see their mother in a cool
light that that woman deserves. And then all of the
(14:32):
service hours that you do for all of these people
and these philanthropic partners that you have and we're talking
thirty thousand, five hundred.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Thirty three something, yelp something. Yeah, we did seven hundred
and fifty thousand hours last.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Year and one hundred and ninety nine chapters, with around
twenty five kids in each chapter and twenty five moms
in each chapter.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
All it's one hundred moms a hundred boy. Is each
chapter twenty five per grade level?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
From seven of you sitting at lunch one.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Oh yeah, yeah, it's the power of action, right.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
It is the power of action. But you pinch yourself
a little. Oh yeah, also kind of. I also kind
of really perked up in my chair. You said, I'm paraphrasing,
and fix me because I must screw this up. But
I think you said something like I was forty one
or forty two when this happened, and that's when I
found my purpose. Is that what you said?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I really feel like it's my It's been my purpose.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, I really, you know, making money is great, and
I love and I actually love love real estate.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
I love selling real estate.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
I'm successful at doing it, but this is rewarding in
such a different way, and I really honestly feel like
this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
So, you know, I think that at forty two.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah, I didn't know it then, but as I got
a little older, I realized it. I mean I felt
it the purpose come, but I didn't know it was
going to go.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
You know, Alex and I hear a lot by virtue
of the show, I want to get involved so much,
and the butt is I don't know how, I don't
know where. You know, I don't know if I have time,
you know. And we've highlighted people as simple as just
(16:23):
taking an hour every month to go get blood or platelets,
to emphasize every normal person, yeah has all of us
have issues at home, We have money problems, we have frustrations,
we have kids doing stupid stuff, we have we all have.
Life is messy. Yes, you don't do it because you
(16:44):
have a perfect life. You do it despite the difficulties
that come along in life. And even if you only
have a little time, there's something to do. So we're
constantly talking about that. But we also say, and it's
never too late. It hadn't opportunities have never passed you by.
And I think you're kind of a gleaming example of
(17:05):
a person who you know, middle aged, I guess is
forty two. I'm fifty six now, so that means I'm
old at middle aged forty, But at that time in
your life to just make the decision to go do it.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah, Bill, do.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
You remember a shop talk with Matthew Kelly. You're never
too young and you're never too old. Yeah, So I'll
go through a couple of these risks. So tire Woods
when he was three years old when he first broke
fifty Portsar was eight years old when he wrote his
first symphony, and frank was thirteen when she began her diary.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
One of the ones I remember.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
Mother Teresa was forty years old when she began her
work in Calcutta. At forty years old, I never remember
some guys like climbed like kill him and jar On
like their seventies or eighties. Benjamin Franklin was seventy nine
when he invented bifocals. This guy ran a marathon when
he was ninety eight.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
What are you going to do when you're ninety eight?
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Oh, I hope I'm sleeping.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I don't know, I think, you know, yeah, I don't
know what I'm going to be doing. You know, I
am thankful I'm healthy and you know, still able to
go and do. And you know, I love to inspire
people to try just start small, you know, with whatever
it is you want to do, And I said that
in my Ted talk. You know, we listen to what
you're prompting is and even if you start with just
(18:28):
a little bit, you know, it can change and roll
into something, or you may inspire somebody else just by
what you've done that can create a momentum going somewhere else.
I mean, I love what you're doing with your organization
and trying to inspire people to to start taking care,
you know, and giving that back. It doesn't have to
be like life changing where you know you have to
(18:49):
give up your whole life.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
You don't.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
It's like they say in church, sometimes you don't have
to go serve in missions across, you know, on the
other side of the world to be able to help.
You can help right here. You know, you can help
one hour a month. You know, if that's all you got,
that's all you got.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Do you know what percent of people?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
All?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Right? First of all, if you have cancer and operation
something simple throughout your life, you're gonna need blood at
some point, right, I mean, everybody's gonna need at some point.
And if you somehow get through life without ever needing
a little bit of blood, someone very close to you
that you love dearly will need blood. That's one hundred percent. Right.
(19:29):
Do you know what percent of the blood used across
our country every day is donated by the public. What
percent of the public.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
I don't know that one under three. I was gonna
say three. That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I know it's not ninety one hundred percent of us
will need blood and one hundred percent of the blood
supply for every American is provided by three percent of us. Wow, now,
why can't we at least do that?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
You know their service, right, It's from that all the
way to the So here's a question.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Everybody's like, Oh, I'm gonna faint. I can't do that,
and it's going to make me feel bad, right, I
hear My husband is the worst.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
He does not like to give blood, so he'd be
mad at me for saying that. But it's true. You know,
some people do have a phobia about it, but it's not.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, the point is twenty what if we got and
things we can do? But here's the question. There's moms
listening to us right now, who are like, you mean,
I get a old packet and it's kind of hand
fed to me. How to do it? All I gotta
do is get a few moms and kids together and
(20:40):
she'll teach me everything and walk me through it through organization.
The answer is yes, how do they find it?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
So if they go to YMSL dot org y m
s L s for Young Men's service Men Service League
dot org, you can scroll down and it says find
a chapter, and if there isn't a chapter in their location,
then there's a link to We do webinars and they
should be starting about two weeks where we do one
(21:06):
every other week on a Tuesday night at seven Central time,
and you can log in and hear our presentation and
then from there, if you're interested, the next step is
you gather a group of moms, you bring them back
on a call, or we'll schedule a separate call, and
then we'll take it off and running. So we start
new chapters in the spring. Right now is our a
little bit of our slow time, and then we start
(21:28):
new chapters. You know, we'll start working with you now,
but they won't launch until May one of next year
for this next calendar year, and so that gives us
lots of time to teach you leadership and get your
membership in place, and and really you know, get you
ramped up and ready to go.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
The one thing we hadn't talked about some money. And
I know I've read that you said, we don't like
give a lot of money, but it does cost money
to buy pay boards and a Bob Pat driver, a
cross down those things call's plays. So how does that
work inside your deal?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
So most of our philanthropies, when we do work, if
we have to provide supplies, the chapters can have a
little bit of a budget for that out of their dues.
So all the members pay dues to be part of
our organization, and the chapter runs off of what they
raise for dues. They can have part of their budget
allocated for materials, but generally the stuff we do is
not heavy in the supply needs. Sometimes when we do
(22:31):
these ultimate gift projects, we may bring in partners from
the community to help underwrite, you know, not underwrite, but
you know, give in kind.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Materials that we need. This year, we're very.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Excited because in twenty will be twenty five years old.
We're going to start kicking that off. In March of
next year, we're going to do a major nonprofit organized
or philanthropy event with Sleep and Heavenly Peace. Are you
really and so we are going to be raising funds
specifically for that because we'd like to build beds in
every city for one weekend in September in twenty twenty six,
(23:05):
and so we're going to be doing some specific fundraising
for that because it's about three hundred dollars a bed,
I think for them to do come in and help
us with that. So we you know, we are working
on that. And then we are just kicking off this
year some fundraising for the national organization so that we
can gather resources for our chapters to come to and say, hey,
(23:25):
we have this opportunity, but we don't have the funds.
Can National give you know, something from out of this
budget that we're going to start building for events like that,
so that we can do bigger, more impactful things. Because
if you bring four hundred volunteers into something, a lot
can happen over three days, you know, and we have
you know, we can do that times two hundred, so
(23:48):
we could do some major, major things. So I'd love
to build five thousand beds or something in Dallas Fort
Worth in September of twenty six.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
We'll see that's so cool, but it's awesome and I
get it and it makes sense. But the point is
if you're thinking about this and wondering about the chapter
and then the dreaded fundraising.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Oh, you don't have to do that at all.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Now you're not doing that.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
It's against the bylaws.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
You're actually, Oh is it? It's even against Not only
do I have to you can't, right, But the point
is you sons and moms getting together and providing themselves
for service. And it's not a bunch of fundraising. It's
it's partnering with other philanthropies to fill needs with your
(24:34):
time and your offering. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
So each chapter has about twenty philanthropy partners. They go
out and identify them themselves and set up their schedules.
We have an app so you can actually go on
the app and schedule your time with your son whenever
it's convening it for you. And it's so much easier
than calling twenty different places to find you know, if
you can volunteer for an hour, so the.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Chapter will set up all of that.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
There are the dues per member, which is just the
mom run about two hundred thirty a year for the
for the members in each chapter, and that's the only
expense that you have, and you will not be asked
to go raise funds. I was a mom of for
I didn't want to sell popcorn, gift.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Grab, any of that.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I ran booster clubs. I said, no, we're not doing
that to our moms. They're going to just give their
service and their time, and we're going to keep it simple.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
We'll be right back. I'm really embarrassed that I've never
heard of this before.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Oh wow, that's what I said. I need to get
out and do this. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And the second thing is I hope some Memphis moms
are hearing this and decide to reach out. Me too, Listeners,
I'll get after it. What's up listeners? Ever?
Speaker 3 (25:50):
Yeah, yeah, everywhere it does, we'll go anywhere it can't.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
It has to be a talent that will have at
least five thousand hours of service a year.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
That's our restriction.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Uh. We are actually almost tapped out in Dallas and
Austin because there's just not enough service hours anymore with
all the competing organizations. But we're wide open in so
many places, and so we do have sometimes some small
towns that reach out and they they're so excited and
then we realize they have like two hundred volunteer hours,
and we're like, we can't support you know, we can't
(26:19):
support that well.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
And the reason I say Memphis is because.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Memphis has got plenty of hours.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I'm sure I'm a proud Memphis person, but obviously it's
a show going out all over the country and there's
do you know any do you have target any target
cities that you're not in that you're like, we really
need to be there. Have y'all done that, Chris, Memphis
is one.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Yeah, Memphis is one. We've just started moving kind of
to east coast, so we just started Carolina's and Virginia, Connecticut,
New York, Pennsylvania, all up the east coast. We don't
have anything in Alabama yet. We don't have Yeah, we
don't have anything in Birmingham. Yeah, we don't have anything.
We have a chapters in Nashville, but we don't have
(27:02):
I'm trying to think other Knoxville. We don't have we Arizona.
We need chapters in Arizona. We need chapters in southern California.
We are let's see, we have Phoenix. No, we don't
have anything in any Arizona.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Oh my gosh, you're gonna triple after this call, after
this thing, there's gonna be people I haven't called. How
is there a limit? I mean, how big do you
want to go?
Speaker 3 (27:32):
As big as it needs to be.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
I love that. So you're ready to roll?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, somebody is like, well, are you going international? It's like, well,
we haven't thought about that. That presents a whole other slew.
I said, let's take care of the US first, and
then then if we you know, we still have a
lot of time, we can venture to Canada or across
the across the pond.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
As they say, you literally have an army of moms
and teenage boys. Yes, that is phenomenal, the army of
normal folks that we want to build and talking about
you've done with moms and Tina.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
You know, I want to say before the end of
the show, I am the leader, but I am definitely
not the one who's done everything, you know. I try
to tell everybody that I have one hundred and thirty
people on my leadership team right now. Wow, and probably
only twelve of those may have a little salary, not much,
not even salary consulting fee. Everybody else is a volunteer
(28:28):
and they work their tails off and I've been surrounded
by incredibly gifted, passionate, intelligent women who have helped me
rise to the next level every step of the way.
And I cannot take the credit for this organization because
it has been such a team and we have such
a unique culture in our leadership that it would be
(28:51):
a disservice to them. I honestly can tell you that
there is just the greatest group of people that I
work with, and I'm very blessed every day with them.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah, a lot of us end up the face or
mouthpiece of an organization, but we're never there without lots
and lots of help. So I appreciate you mentioned that.
I'm sure your people do too, Alex.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
I love them.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
I think one thing with your ted talk like the
nudges that people get and the three different types of
responses if you can bring people through that.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
So I started it by saying, you know, everybody has
a moment. I think you know where you have you're quiet,
and you get an idea or something comes into your
mind about a need that you see or whatever, and
there's three kinds of responses to it. It's the person
who takes action, you know, and says yes, I'm going
to go I'm going to take it. I'm going to
(29:45):
do it, just let me find the way. Then there's
the person who sits there and they're like, oh, I
can't do that. You know, the doubt I said, I
called it the devil sitting on your shoulder, saying, you know,
you're you're not smart enough, You're not you know, you
don't have enough money, you don't have enough time, you
don't know how to do that, and you don't have
a clue. And then they never do anything with it,
(30:07):
and it just nags at them a little bit that
they never did anything. And then there's the other person
who really never hears, and it's because they aren't attuned
to you know, sometimes we can get so busy in
our day to day life that we don't have time
to just process and go, oh, you know, maybe there
is something I could do here, and so they don't
ever hear. I say that they're deaf to the whisper,
(30:31):
you know. And I think those three things, those three
people are what we have in the world, with so
many things and so many great ideas. Are the people
who take action and probably so many lost ideas that
haven't ever happened because they didn't take action, And.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
How side is that? And the whole point is act.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Yes, Wait, one more thing. You also did it on
a very personal level too. Can you talk about Garrett?
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (31:01):
My son had a friend in high school when they
were in ninth grade who he came home and said, Mom,
can I have some money for I'm going to put
some money in my friend's lunch account. And I was like, okay, sure,
tell me a little bit about him, you know what's
going on. And he's like, well, he's just you know, troubled.
He needs money, he can't eat, and I you know,
if we can do that, that would be great. And
(31:22):
I was like okay, And so I did that, and
then I did that for a while, and then I
went and met Garrett and met this person that he
was living with and talked to them a little bit
and said, hey, I can help out with some groceries,
you know, you know, tell me more about this. So
we got involved with in Garrett's life a little bit.
And then Garrett left the school and went to what's
called special programs in Plano where kids who are struggling
(31:46):
in school go. And one day the principal called me
up and said, hey, I have Garrett here sitting at
my table, and I don't think he's going to make it.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
And I mean and I'm like, so what do you
mean He's well, first.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Of all, he called me, yeah, like and she goes, yeah,
he told me to call you.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
And I said, that's phenomenal. That that's who this kid
needed a call. Yeah, that speaks to the absence in
his life. Oh, not that you aren't wonderful, but the
point is, call his buddy's mom, who gave him a
little little lunch money. Where's his family?
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah, well that's that turned out to be a story.
So I went I said, well, what do I need
to do? And she goes, I think you should come
pick him up? And I was like, oh okay. So
I hang up the phone and I'm like, and I
just you know again, go, I said, go. I jumped
in the car, go over there, pick him up. And
(32:44):
I said, where are you living? And he goes, well,
I'll show you where you're living.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Is I'm gonna lose Garrett.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
I think he was suicidal.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
He's the principal said that to you in front of Garrett.
Are you kidding me? Okay, so you go pick him up. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
So I sit there with his team boy, who's you know,
he's a big boy, six foot something and big boy,
and just tears sitting in my kitchen table, and I
start talking to him and I was like, well, you know,
in my mind, I thought, oh, I will I will
go and you help him for a week or two.
I'll try to see if he can go into City House.
You know, I didn't really ever think it was going
(33:24):
to be anything permanent. And my husband comes home for
dinner that night and I was like, look, who's here
for dinner?
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Nice to meet you? And then afterwards he's like, so,
why how long is he here? And I was like,
I'm not sure, but we're just going we'll work it out,
work it out. And so I took him to City
House and he walked out. He goes, I'm not doing that.
It's the house for Team Helmless Team halfway home.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
I'm like, well how.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I was like, okay, what does that mean? And so
he ended up living with us. We got him through high.
He didn't he didn't have a driver's license or anything.
I got him a driver's license, got him enrolled in school,
got him a job, and then I found out along
the way his history. And you know, I don't want
(34:18):
to reveal too much because I don't want to embarrass him,
but he had grown up in a family, very abusive family.
He was rescued from his family at age twelve, had
lived in a half buried school bus somewhere out in
the wilderness and kind of sofa surfed for a while,
lived with a family member for a little while that
didn't work out, and then you know, a lot of
(34:40):
things came into play. You know, he had a lot
of wounds, he had a lot of pain, he had trauma, trauma,
he had some you know, some substance abuse issues that
I didn't know about. And we went on a journey
I need to write another book about It was quite
a journey. And he ended up graduating high school, which
(35:02):
was a miraculous event because he didn't even start school
till he was twelve. So he graduated high school. He
abandoned us for off and on a couple of times
came back very broken. I don't know, probably around twenty
twenty one.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Have he abandoned you because you held him accountable to
some semblance of rules and he just revolted against me.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
So he would almost feel more comfortable sometimes living with
other homeless people. Still like he would go in and out,
and some of it had to do with the subs
and stuff. And one day he came back he said,
can I come back? And I was like, sure, you
can always come back. You know, we love you. And
my old my middle boy was living at home at
(35:42):
the time. I didn't share this on the Ted Talk,
but and he had just graduated college. He's trying to
be a professional golfer, and he's very faithful, and he
and Garrett spent a lot of time upstairs talking and
when they went one day to it they had a
at young adult church thing at our church and they
(36:02):
Grant took him there and he had a lot of
spiritual wounds and still does to this day. But at
that day he walked up and decided to give his
life to Christ with my son. He gave up alcohol,
he gave up all his drugs. He completely cleaned himself up,
started his own business, then decided that was too much
(36:24):
and went into the military. Got out of the army,
is now working with one of the big aircraft companies
in Saudi Arabia and is thriving and doing well. Still
has a few demons and things he's dealing with, but
he's doing very well and very proud of him. And
you know, you know you were saying earlier, we all
(36:45):
have life struggles. We've been through some ups and downs
with my own kids. With him, you know, just there's
it's not easy. It's not an easy path, but it
was definitely life saving for him.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
The yes was life saving which started.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
With your son. One of the drops some money in
this kid's at lunch account. You never know what little
act of service might do, and quite literally, if he's suicidal,
that act in your family's act very likely saved.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
His life lots and lots of different ways, you know.
And my husband was not a fan all the time,
and it impacted our family. I mean, I'm bringing a
teenage band with all of these things. It was a challenge.
But my husband has grown to respect him, and he
respects him my husband and is almost more like him
than me. It's kind of funny, and they have a
great relationship now and he's overcome so much to get
(37:43):
where he.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Is and it's a beautiful story. Yeah, the story itself
is beautiful. The moral to it, again, I think, is
ties right back to what can I do? Well? You
can see somebody that's hungry and put money in their
lunch account.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
That's a little thing.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Yeah, I mean there are so many kids, teenagers who
are doing that exact same thing. They're sofa surfing from
one friend's house. And the only reason I knew about
it was because of my involvement with City House and
to start with, so I didn't If I hadn't had
that exposure, I would not have even understood what that
meant because I didn't think there were homeless teens.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
You know a lot of life from a mom sitting
at a lunch Yeah. Pretty amazing and still going strong. Everybody.
It is called national excuse me, Young Men's Service League,
and Pam is the national president. And I would say founder,
(38:42):
but I guess you're going to say co founder or.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
My sister in law co founded with me.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
She was involved for the first eight years or so,
and then she got us stop.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
So Pam Rosner from Plano, Texas, what an amazing story.
Thank you oh so.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Much for having them at the US and sharing it fun.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
And I am praying that people from all over the city,
all over the country, call and start chapters with you. Well,
come on, Memphis, this is something would be good for
the city, good for boys, their moms, everything, And this is.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
We can start four chapters, five chapters, you guys. Just
let us know how many.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
I love it. I'm sitting with thinking one you're already doing.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
We we like at least in the city this big,
we probably need at least four or five.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Just to start with.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Sure, absolutely, because it's all.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
You know, like the high schools are all spread out.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
That's right. Yeah, yeah, we can do it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
We can do it.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Pray Rose, everybody, thank.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
You, thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
This is great, and thank you for joining us this week.
If Pamrose and her as inspired you in general, or
better yet, to take action by joining one of the
one ninety nine chapters of Young's Men's Service League, or
starting your own in your own community, or something else entirely,
(40:00):
let me know I want to hear about it. Write
me anytime at Bill at normalfolks dot us. If you
enjoyed this episode, share it with friends and on social
subscribe to the podcast, rate and review it. Join the
Army at normal folks dot us. Guys, the more of you,
the more impact we have, so any and all of
(40:22):
these things that help us grow an army and normal
folks is vital. I'm Bill Courtney. Until next time, do
what you can
Host
Bill Courtney
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.