Episode 115: Feat. D.L. Hughley

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ship, What's up it? Slip Services might be one of
our biggest guests ever. M Angela. Ye, I'm Stephanie Sang,
I'm g G McGuire, I'm Lauria and I'm definitely I
never look up. That's that Latin disinterested thing. How hard

(00:24):
is it nowadays when people are always on their phone. Well,
I think it's why we're we are the way we
are as a society. I think that's why we're disinterested.
I think that that's why we have no empathy. I
think that's why people, you know, the one will get
beat and some dude will take pictures of what her
to get why she's unconscious, to get lights because I
think people people there's no human connection. Yeah. The craziest

(00:45):
things happen on social media and we really don't kind
of feel too bad. People make jokes out of everything
they do, like trees crying. Yeah, I was like that
he can't see as Kenny hasn't seen as kidd in
two months, and everybody's making songs about it. And I
think they what. I have kids and I cry when
they come home. But that's uh ship, Your motherfucker's won't leave.

(01:10):
But I think that you can't as a society. The
bad thing about social media is it catches you at
your worst moments and then your best and and and
and everybody has a prism like it used to be.
In order to say something dumb, somebody had to ask
you a question. Now you can just get on your phone.
It's just to me when I saw Tyres as a

(01:30):
black man and as a father, that's the reason why
men of color don't really express themselves like that, because
then you know maken of you. But you have to
admit the whole part of him saying that he's broken
these money. I was like, and then he got five
million dollars from Will and Jada. I was like, five million.
I'm gonna cry on your podcast right now. Wait, how

(01:50):
didn't hear that they gave him? Shut the funk up?
He posted social media and then he goes on social
media and a picture him and Smith saying like, oh,
they just gave me five million n five million dollar. Cried.
When I saw him crying, I didn't find it funny.

(02:11):
It was just like, oh my god, they made that's
just go out of it. Just about it. I felt bad,
But I just feel like, you know, some things you
just shouldn't put on the internet, you know, like so,
I mean whatever, but then look at the whole society
at president you know, the biggest real with the Twitter.
I'm sorry. I think that's what we do. That's what

(02:33):
we do. It's it's not have you ever put anything
on social media that you regretted after? I know, I mean,
I I just think you know, it's remember when Debbie
Allen died, Debbie Reynolds died, like I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

(02:55):
I'm sorry, but when she died, I told you know,
I did a joke and and people got all upset.
But to me, it's just like I don't know, you
what I care what you think of it. That's like,
I don't I really I think these when you're younger, Um,
you you tend to get affirmation from people that have

(03:15):
no idea who you are, no connection to you, and
you look for it and all the wrong not I
don't know, even though necessarily know it's the wrong places,
but you look for it in different places. And I
just think social media is a tool, um that you
use no different than a hammer. I mean, it can
it can build a house, or you can hit your
hand and hurt yourself. So it doesn't that just because

(03:39):
as a comedian sometimes right it feels like the world
that we live in is a lot more you know
PC right now. It shouldn't be, but it is, don't
you think? I think it's actuality and actuality it's not
when you let children get yours, when you let children
get killed in church and you don't do shit about that,
and you care about what joke? I tell fuck you?
Who can like you? You? You want people die and

(03:59):
brew lies themselves at your hand. And the worst thing
you could like, like to me, uh, the cat that
played Frank Frank Underwood follows somebody and he lost his
job playing president, but the real president finows somebody. He
still got good. I ain't never thought about it. A
society that a society that gets mad at the cat

(04:20):
like Colin Kaepernick from making making a you know, a
principle stands. They don't get mad at that. They get
mad at him and they call him a traitor, but
they want monuments to people who actually betrayed the country,
like Robberty Lee killed more Americans than Hitler, and he
gets a fucking statue And you're more mad at the
negative just want you to stop killing. I have no
use for people that they have no judgment, that have

(04:42):
no kind of continual experiences to judge me. Does it
get discouraging sometimes where you just feel like, man, what
is this world that we live in? Because I think
that at least twice a week it's great? Kind of
world do we live in? Twice every hour? Listen looking
at the news, and news makes me depress so sad
it does news Like I was watching um, the woman

(05:02):
whose son died from cancer. Oh my god, I was
I was balling crying watching all of that happened. And
then you know, like you said, the shooting that happened,
the mass shooting in Texas and the church, and then
you see the pastor's daughter and you see a family
of eight people killed. But you know what's so funny?
Not a white man? What what? What is funny? First
of all, when the white dude got three names, you

(05:23):
shouldn't sell them a gunther Wayne Gate, they always got
three names, and up haircut, you should never And every
time they always have three names, and they always used
all three of them. They always have a fun up haircut.
And every time they show a high school picture on them,
it looked like they was crazy, right, so you share
all messed up. You should arrest them as soon as
the film get developed. Mans come come up all right now.

(05:47):
I want to ask you this. So holidays are coming
up right now. Imagine this because we know you've been
married for thirty one years, so you don't have to
worry about these things. But let's just say what my
girlfriend I do, but not my We were at the
whole discussion about you before we did, like, he doesn't
cheat anymore, but because I'm exhausted. Did you ever see

(06:08):
carlat the way when you go? I didn't. I didn't rehabilitate,
I ran out of wind. Listen. I always say this.
My ex boyfriend when I was younger, he cheated on me,
and his mom told me, you know when men stopped
cheating when they get too tired to do it. She
was like, his stepfather used to cheat on me all
the time, and then he got too old and too
lazy and too tired to do it. You just gotta
wait it out, right, he's only twenty six. We got

(06:33):
wait till we need you. Why is that? Okay? This
is one I never understood. So they're eleven women every
man on the face of their in China, and that
was just with worldwide. Eleven men to every face, every
eleven women give me every every eleven women to every
man on the face. So if every man was faithful

(06:54):
to a woman, it'd be a woman. It'd be ten
angry rods, that would be And I don't wait the
world like, I don't know if that is correct. But
what about like gay people, more people? That's the numbers.
But okay, so what about it? Men shouldn't be monogaous?

(07:15):
What about women? Are we are we built to be monogamous?
I think that that if you are, I don't like
that women take our worst qualities to say that you're like, like,
the only reason to be with a woman is because
she makes you better than you would otherwise be. But
if she starts acting like you would act, then what's
the point. If you don't elevate me, if you don't

(07:36):
make me aspiracial, if you don't make me want to
do things and be better than I am. It always
it galls me when women want to act like the
very worst of us, like take on our very worst
attributes and then not equipped to be that way. I
see it. Now, here's what I think. I think that
the way the society is now, I think at a
certain point in time, women have to put up with
a lot because we didn't have jobs. Our job was

(07:59):
to hold down a household. The men would bring it
home to bacon, and you kind of felt stuck in
a relationship. And that happens, you know, sometimes even now.
But as women are becoming the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs,
as we're getting out there and working, we're realizing, well,
he did some fund up ship to me, I ain't
got his day, and I can and I do think
that for men, and they've done studies and they didn't.

(08:20):
Over one third of marriages one of both partners admitted cheating.
Of women admit to cheating, percent of men say they
did well, fourteen percent of women are line if they
fourteen percent? Who we fucking like the idea. I think
women have different justifications for what they do. Think women

(08:40):
also don't get caught as much. I think women wanted
to admit it like like yeah, that was like, no,
I never cheated. Women don't get caught like men do
it though, let's keep it real and not as my
definitely did you how did you get Stephanie from my phone, like, um,

(09:05):
I got caught a few times, but one when I
could think of a real rememberable one is actually I
got drunk and I blacked out drunk usually like I
would sleep on my phone and like my pillow case,
like I would sleep like this one. So I got
drunk one night and I get drunk, and I do
like I would say, I don't drink no more because

(09:28):
I do stupid ship. I still do this. I still
do this when I come home drunk, I take everything off.
I start throwing everything. I throw my keys, I throw
my phone. I just throw everything. I don't know why.
It's stupid, it's it's but whatever I did that. I
threw my phone, I threw everything, and I went into
the bed and I went to sleep, and he went
through my phone while I was sleeping. It was in there,

(09:50):
just kind of he found that. One time he found
sorry that one time he found um. He found an
email I was emailing with somebody he wasn't. And when
I see women cheating, I just don't like them. No.
Like I've been with I didn't can do it, but
women can't. But you know cheat you in the Bible,

(10:13):
have you ever Yeah, you've cheated. Now why did you cheat?
Because he was cheating, that's right. See you can't even original.
You just kind of that was seprecation. Oh you're doing
that and I'm gonna do this even. Do you know
every person you go to church? Right you? Yeah, you
want of the color. That's what y'all think. Y'all gotta do. So,
uh what it's true? I do I church your line

(10:36):
right right? I might get killed. So do you know
every man that you read about it in that Bible
had a lot of women, all of them women what
Jesus did, but that was it. But all the dudes
he ran what did like job? When he took his
with with job, the trials of job, he took his
wealth and health and his what women? God never said

(10:58):
Ruth and Naomi they were they belong to one guy.
We'll see David. But do we follow the Bible word
for words? Still to this. But me personally, I'm a
different type of woman because I believe that most menche
and I believe that most men are going to cheat.
I believe that. How does that? How does that make

(11:18):
you different? Now? Because some because some of the women,
some women believe that men don't cheat. Some women believe
that they shouldn't cheat. I don't think that should cheat,
but I expect it. But I'm not. I feel like
there's don't cheatlie. I think majority of mention this is
the funny thing that's hilarious to me. There's a small

(11:38):
number of men who don't cheat. The very ship that
you like in the dude is the very ship you
want other women to like him. The dude, right, but
if he does something that hurts your feeling, women only
want a certain type of dude. The dude every woman
in here. You're very attractive. You had some dude that
was crazy about you and was faithful and would do everything,
and he bored you to fucking death, and you didn't

(12:00):
like him. I mean, I'm not gonna say I didn't
like him or that I got bored, but it didn't
work out. Any any dude who probably don't mess around
no more, is having a good time with his boyfriend.
I'm just telling either way he's cheating. Yeah, that's still cheating.
Either way, I'm cheating on. I'd rather be cheated on
with the woman than the boyfriend. What I'm telling you

(12:23):
nothing else so funny. You want dude, you if you
describe the dude that you describe in your head, the
ones that are on these movies and these poems and
this ship you dude. Dudes like that would bore most
women to death unless they've had a lot of experiences
and now and now are open to having some experiences

(12:43):
that aren't quite what they want because they look for
the bad boy, come home and lay up for a
long time, and then that was well, that was back
when I was a long time ago, when I was young.
That's right. So now, life, don't kick your head. I
probably was. I mean we were young, you know what

(13:05):
I'm saying. I wasn't shipped when I was younger at all,
not like, not by any means. Now that I'm older,
like you said, I'm like, man, I'm trying to do
all that. It's like, I mean, I'm not even that old,
but I still felt like I'm cool. I lived. I lived.
I don't like. I do, not like the the pain

(13:25):
that you see in a woman's face when you do something.
That's the ship right there. So now you just get
better at it. Yeah, I would think that guys who
cheat should be worried that their girl is cheating. Too,
because all the time when you're like, oh, I'm going
to do this and cover in your tracks, she's like,
all right, he's out of here. Girl's trip. Call Girl's

(13:50):
Trip with the side of dick for real. And we're
very good at cheating because like our friends are in
on it. Yeah about that guy's cheat, and they don't
come be there checks. Guys, y'all cheat and do sh
it off on your own makeup excuses and don't inform
your friends that they're involved in the cheating. It's what
I've noticed about you cheating as a unit, and it's
all and it's and it's but it's always one week leak.

(14:12):
You can get to commit. You know what happens, all right,
I'm sorry, exactly what always want it the weak link
and we know him, but it's always Yeah, that's one
thing about me. When I was cheating, I wouldn't tell anybody. Yeah,
I wouldn't even tell my home girls, well except for

(14:32):
just but Justic was like telling myself, right, or you'll
be like, I'm going out with Angela and you're not.
Really that's exactly what I would do. Yeah, like I would,
I'm not you, but somebody like that, you are you
are this close to pass that way? No? No, but

(14:53):
I was saying earlier, I'm really tired today, like I
couldn't sleep last I'm really tired. I'm sorry. Know I
like it, like the vibe. Whatever. All right, it's very
Latin and just there. Whatever. Now let's talk about holiday
season coming up and being in a new relationship. Right

(15:14):
when do you bring it up to somebody as a woman,
what would you advise somebody if they asked you, I've
been dating this guy for three months? Okay, this is
a real situation. It's not me, but I need to know,
like is he just with me? Should I ask? Am
I asking? What's going on? Are we in a relationship?
Should you ever bring that up? Well, I'll tell you
what what the lawyers say, never ask a question you
don't know the answer to, And when you're on the streets,

(15:37):
you never asked a question they didn't ask. So it
depends a lot of people always pretend like they want
to know some what your mama said. If you're looking
for something you're gonna find, make sure you're ready. And
a line of chicks don't want to look for around
the holidays because they want to go holiday like, let's see,
they always say that people break up the most around

(15:58):
the holidays. Yeah, the guys, they're trying to save that money.
They're like, let me get let me get rid of
this bitch to side. And you don't want to buy
a present that sucks, not even he's like he's buying presidents.
It's spending time. Like you gotta choose. You can come
up with something like, oh my mom's living Virginia. They

(16:20):
could come up with some kind of lie, but you
can't lie with a gift. What am I? This guy
for three years and never met his family. Every year
he would say he was going to spend time with
his family and never invited her. He didn't like her.
What his wife was there, That's that's what I said.
But she was made him every night his wife was there,
or maybe his parents were already embarrassing. My dad's embarrassing.

(16:48):
He's not he's not funny, No, he's hilarious. He's like
my dad says, a mad inappropriate ship he does inappropriate.
He's Chinese. Yes, god damn, he's so embarrassing. But so

(17:09):
he's the Chinese guy and he got a black woman. Yeah, boy,
did that do he had her mom was here earlier.
I bet he never with all these products on my
count why do you have a stove in the bathroom?
Who fries here? He would say that he is crazy.
He's spent thanksgiving him one of my friend's houses, and

(17:29):
he was like, this is just like so food having
like fried rice and stuff like that for Thanksgiving? You
are your friends? Think your father? No karate? He does?
That's that's pretty like, you know what, Most people come
from one experience, So it's dope that you have culturally

(17:52):
different experiences that you got that you kind of both
are right, you know, this is it's cool. I like
the fact that I have like these different cultures. Have
you ever done the twenty three and me or whatever?
Then you find out it's a sale right now? Sale sale?
What are you're not? It's nondescript. They had to make

(18:12):
me do it twice because they could not find out
where it was from. Wit can y'all tell me what
it is? Because I never answers theory that could probably
have a negative you like you a swaba spit or whatever,
and then you stand it in and they tell you
like you're a genetic makeup. I'm gonna do it. You're
not just sporting from it like that. It ain't from nowhere. Yo,

(18:40):
that's weird. No parents found out that she was. She
was mad as hell. She was so mad. I had
a lot of white many man, I have a lot
of my mother's father's wife. So I know they're gonna
tell me. He said, definitely. But if it's if I
got white, I want white. I can use deep white.
I need white, I can cash in. I don't want

(19:02):
to just be a white dude that people don't recognize that.
I've been a nigger long enough. I want to break
this if I want to. If I was, if I
had white to me, it better to be white. People respect.
I've a lot of white women have come on to you,
though not really. I can't knocked off. I never knocked off.
Probably you would never been with a white woman. I

(19:22):
don't believe that. Never believe you don't want to be
with a white woman. That something I don't never seemed
to me organic where I just see some broad it's
never seen. It always seemed like some old you've seen
very white women accessible for I'm available. But I tell

(19:48):
you what, if something happened to my wife, I'm going
to get me a Spanish woman. What can they get
naked when they get drunk and if something happen to her,
I'm gonna get me a uh Dominican of Porto y Why?
Why is that why I've been with I've done that,

(20:10):
you know what? Maybe maybe maybe an angel the thing
for me? This is this just the truth for me,
for me when I see black woman, not I don't.
It's not some misguid that since loyally, I've just never
seen anything that moved me like they do. Okay, they
shut up more. But the way they the way they moved,

(20:34):
the way they whold ship, the way they this is
to me nobody that I've you ever uh had like
a food that hurt your stomach after you ate it,
but you know it's gonna hurt your stomach, but it's
so good because I'm going home, I'm gonna be in

(20:56):
the bathroom. I'm gonna be home. I can only eat
something here. So a white woman's never sucked a dick
or anything. Wow, Yeah, if you pay them that the same,
I don't see you having to pay Why do you
have I think he was telling a joke. I don't
know if you wasn't cheating, but it looked like he

(21:18):
was serious. I was, I was, I wasn't kidding. But no,
it's not, it's not that, it's just not. I don't
it's not a misguided says the lord. It's just they don't.
Women of color. I like black and Latin women. I
think they're just those are the best women. The black
woman and the lying woman, they're the best. I wouldn't
enough if you think it's cheating if you pay them,
is that cheating? So it's not cheating if a woman

(21:44):
pays a jigglo either. We had a jigglo one hand
the other day. Well, she better use my money. I
don't don't worry Overen had to pay. There are some
men that, like you said, oh, I wouldn't think you
had to pay. Men don't have to pay to pay
out of convene. They pay you to come, handle your
blasies and shut the but they pay you to shout
out okay and leave. But I don't. I don't pay.

(22:06):
I'm paying you to leave. I'm paying you not ask
me no questions, but so okay, So I'm paying you
to cut the chase. Now I'm paying you to come
to chase I don't want to bullshit. I don't want
to on the Mallberry bush bitch. You know what I want.
I got to check for you like we would them out,
like we were saying, you can still pay her and
she can still tell like paying her ain't gonna change nothing,
but at least at least at least you have something

(22:29):
to throw back, at least like you know you ain't.
If you do that, you ruin your business. The confusion
but what are we transaction? Because the confusion of the
what are we? Questions? Right? But you know what this is.
I think when I think a lot of times guys

(22:50):
will all for girls money because it just gets all
the mental stuff on. Yeah, that's just you know what
I mean. She wants and it happens. But if you
dig it, like if you digg a woman like the
for me, just me, I can't speak for if you
dig a woman you dig doing it for you dig it.
I agree with that. I don't like. I don't. I

(23:11):
don't if I want you to. It's a whole different
But that's a different, a different kind of thing. You
know that you like somebody, you don't really like somebody
you want to pay for that you just would like
you would like to have sex with them, That's why.
But but now I'm so old if like, if I can't,
I can't. You have to have a way about you.
And if you have a way about you, I want
you to be all right. I don't want like I

(23:33):
was in the I was in the store yesterday and uh,
I think I told you the story. I was in
the store and they said, hey, you stupid bitch, like
he said that third literally about it. Why would you
even want to be with somebody you think that little love? What?
What is the thing about that? That don't make you
a man? That's why? Why would you want to dehumanize somebody?

(23:54):
And that's how you Why would you want to you
want to be around like life is so short? Why
would you want to be around anybody that doesn't do
it for you? Said you like a superman? You know
what it is? This is my honest truth. Man, A

(24:14):
man is never supposed to I think that women, women
of color, all women, but a man has a certain
level of responsibility, like you shouldn't just let no woman
get her ass, which you should just let some ship slide.
And the only if you're a man and the only
you only read you exist on the face of the
earth is to protect and provide for the people you love.

(24:37):
That's all you exist for. So if you and that
extends to everybody that's in your in your circle like
that when that guerrilla, uh, that baby fell in with
that guerrilla and Cincinnati and they shot to guerrilla. He
only exists to provide and protect for his family. That's
all he does. That's what he never wants tried to
hurt the baby. The females ran on the hill and

(24:58):
he was like, who baby is this? But I think
men and I think women act like they act now
because you said something earlier. You said it is because
they can work and they could they get they have
their own money. It used to be a time a
woman knew there was a dude who had her back,
and she didn't want to act a certain wife whether
he had another family, and that was an issue. It
was that you knew he's gonna do what he had
to do to take care of his family and he

(25:20):
wasn't gonna let nobody do anything to it that she.
I think women feel unprotected and that's why they act
like that. You know what part of the problem though
with men cheating is that sometimes the other woman feels
like really entitled and disrespectful, and that's the problem that
men like they cheat, and then the other woman is
I got your man, you don't want you, and they've

(25:43):
been email this is not fun. But I'm saying that's
the disrespect because it's not even that you just cheated
and you're taking care of home, but you're not taking
care of home, and somebody else could come talk about you.
Look here, look here. It was three You were young dudes,
so you don't know. I'm sorry your wife hit me
right before. This is right when I grew up in
the three rules, it was that you had to be home.

(26:04):
You had to take care of your family. You had
to be home for the street lights came on and
the sun came up, and you couldn't let no bullshit
come to your house right hour. But the idea was
I knew dudes and a lot of dudes who grew
who raised two families, and there was both on the
other side of the town. And they met at the funeral.

(26:26):
But everybody understood they always met at the funeral. They like,
they're looking like daddy. But people both both parties got
that this dude, take care of us, and I don't
want to see. It's it's the choices you make. Like
I think that women judge men on the choices that
you this bitchy Oh come on right, And but not

(26:57):
even whether the guy cheated on me with her or not.
If is somebody in the past before me, it's like, oh,
you were her. That's like anybody. Going back to what
you were saying about having different families and stuff, y'all
know that I have a sister that sixteen days younger
than me, and my mother and her mother. Neither one
of my mother's is my is my my father's wife.

(27:19):
Damn he didn't played like you know, but how does
that affect you? Because then you also have to think
how does that affect the families and the kids? Well,
growing up the mothers, you know, we're against each other.
As we grew up, and my father kept us, all
the children close, the mothers had no choice but to
accept each other, and my mother, my mother, and my

(27:41):
favorite stepmother became really close over the years. Unfortunately, the
third mother never really joined in, and you know they
just never you know, got your father. But my father
kept all like me and my brothers and sisters. We
are all very very close. No, he wasn't. And he
kept us family, orient said, he kept us with with

(28:02):
his family a lot growing up. And um, my father
has a type. We all look. You can't tell whose
mothers who because all of us look exactly like because
all of our mothers look like sisters. You know, I
respect well, there's there used to be a thing called
honor among fays. We're doing dirt, but at least we
get it. But I remember I got jammed up, right,

(28:23):
So I had knocked this check up and she had
the baby, and the baby got killed. I heard by
her boyfriend, and so it was a horrible, horrible experience.
So I had this baby, I'm paying for I'm I'm
a boy, I'm scared, I'm married, I'm just starting out
my career and I um, I get a call from

(28:46):
my boy and he said, your your son is in
the hospital. And I go and they were cape buried
and she was from Cabra. So I go to the
hospital and this boy uh was laying in the bed
and apparently her boyfriend is shacking him and and and
her damaged. So what I always thought about was that

(29:06):
I knew that one day I would be mad enough
to tell my woman what had happened, and it would
either because I think you shouldn't leave children out there
by themselfs. But I was weak and dumb small, So
he passes. I'm so funked up. Finally, one day I
tell my wife. You know what she said to me,
I wish you'd have told me and we could have

(29:27):
went through this together. And that's when. And so months
years later, I'm at the airport. That was when you
could remember you should be able to go to the
airport with your You didn't have to go you didn't
have to have a ticket to go through. You can
beat your family or whatever. The girl that that I
had the baby with it is there. My wife gets it,
meets me at the plane. I I see her see us,

(29:49):
and I know she's thinking she got me in the
trick bag, and I say, baby, this is the girl
had the baby by. My wife said, I'm so sorry
for your loss, and I and I felt so small
because I was. I was a coward two ways, and
it starts to change the way you see stuff. I
think when you're very young, and you like I never

(30:11):
thought that. I never felt bad about my inclinations too.
I have felt bad about the damages is done to
the people in my life, and I don't want to
be the kind of guy that, in the end of
your life, you just broken a bunch of people, children
and women and family. And so I think a lot
of guys feel like that. It doesn't mean that I

(30:32):
don't do what I do, but it's it means that
I take measure of what I do. And it doesn't
like I feel bad for you that you you were
telling me about your your father and how I kept
you would have been he would have been that to me.
I think I would have been that kind of guy.
And it makes me sad for you that something like

(30:52):
that happens to you, but it makes me happy. It
makes me happy for you that you had a man
that guided you through that he wasn't a coward, and
I don't No matter what I do with the rest
of my life, I'll always know that moments where the
common I was a coward. The craziest thing about all
of that is that, of course we all were raised together,
but I didn't find out that I always thought that
I was a year older than my sister. I didn't
find out that we were sixteen days apart until maybe

(31:13):
like three or four years. That's crazy, So you never
really knew like her, No, so that part, like I
knew that we were all snair steps, Like I knew that,
you know, he went back and forth back and forth
because there's a brother, there's a brother and another sister
that we're all like a year year year year, you know.
So I knew he was going back and forth. But
when I found out that my sister was sixteen, my
head was borne, like I couldn't believe that. So I

(31:36):
can't right, that means that means our mother has been
pregnant at the same time, the same amount of mom
the same amount of weeks going through the station, and
he's going back and forth between them, but still got
a wife at home, and then she turned around and
had a baby after we were born. I have a
brother that's younger than us. That is by your problem
is you know math, that's your you didn't start reading ship.

(31:58):
That's fact that he like raised you guys together and
that y'all. So he took care of all of us.
We were I was in the private school and everything,
but my the mother even though the mothers fod each
other so much, he didn't care. He snatched us up
and had had us with his family, and he were
able to be together no matter what our mothers. You know,

(32:19):
we're going through amongst themselves, playing on each other phone
and the fighting and all of that. He made sure
that he grabbed us up and they picked us up
and took us holidays together and everything and everything is
the thing. This is the women say funny things. When
he wanted to give an advice to you, gotta let

(32:40):
a man be a man. How do you let a
man be a man? I am? You know. I think
that one of the things that one of the reasons
I was interested in talking to you because I watched
I watch what you do. And the thing about a
woman is you you pick your shots and you do
it as good as I've seen anybody. In the meeting.
I'm doing a long time because you between two pretty

(33:02):
strong personalities. But there isn't a week that goes by
that I don't remember something you said. And I'm not
inclined to listen to women. I'm just not. I don't
want some movies. I'm not being disrespectful, I just you
have to be very interesting on a level I understand
or am interested in for me. But I always hear

(33:23):
something you say, and it's because you come across as
human and you you know how bright you gotta be
to be as bright as the day. That's that's a
pretty amazing thing. And so that's what interested to me
in me. And then I got the little uh Latin
and nice and I went out and I got to

(33:50):
know my side. Now when you think about somebody like
Cardi B. Since we're talking about women, and you know,
you know, she recently said that she feels like she
wants to be more Pg. Thirteen. They made it because
she sees a lot of girls just as her for
Halloween and are looking up to her. Do you think
that Cardi B? Is? It's not my thing, but I
can't judge it. I mean, everybody I like hear his

(34:13):
bloody shoes. I mean, I think people. I think you
have to give somebody credit for managing to be heard
through all this clutter. And I think it's it's kind
of like wanting to be married after you already had
some kids, you know what I mean, You've already become,

(34:33):
you know, a star, and then you want a level
of responsibility and that's not bad either. Um. I think
that most people who are who actudent only make something happen.
It's it's better to feel a sense of responsibility than
to not, because some people say, don't change who you are,
just continue to be unfiltered and uncensored. But you know,

(34:53):
she probably didn't know that she was gonna end up
being It's a surprise, and I think that it's human
for somebody to realize that people are listening to them
and to feel a sense of responsibility. And to me,
that resonates more to me than fucking you know who
I want, I know where I'm at, you know who
I be. I'll never but I relate to her as

(35:14):
an artist. Some of the greatest things that ever happened
were accidents. Fucking champagne, penicillin, America, all accidents, so and
and they turned out pretty good. So I think people too. Yeah,
I think it's dope that she all of a sudden
is looking at people around her and seeing kids dressing
like her and seeing something and not wanting to just

(35:35):
uh take the money and run. Right now, let me
ask you this, being that you have it, your daughter
works with you, right, Um, what do you tell her
about being in a relationship, like should she expect that
a man teaching? Would you say, okay, give him another chance,
or would you be angry? My my daughter says something
to me that kind of hurt me and made me
both my daughter that one works for me and one

(35:58):
just takes money from me. But I I want a
man who loves me like I know you love my mother,
but to not be you because I'm I'm I'm I'm
a selfish dude. I feel entitled to do ship and

(36:18):
it's is you can see it in your your daughter.
One time, my daughter sit on the radio, It's like
if you found out the Superman wasn't what he said
he was. Where does the sense of entitlement come from?
I think the way you grow up it was never success.
It was like I always thought that that you, just

(36:42):
like all of you, I had to fight to be.
Like I was talking to you, you have to fight
to be heard, you have to fight to count, you
have to like in a family and a situation right,
and so so when you when you when you live
your life fighting, what does the victor get the spoils? Right?
If you win the war, you get the ship that
they were fighting for so you that that gives you

(37:03):
a sense of time. I never felt guilty about what
I did, and I think that that's an abusive stance
to take. Like I'm aware of what I do and
and and have been. I just don't necessarily haven't always
taken the measurement. Have you ever done therapy? I drinks?

(37:24):
I knew it. I swear to god. You talk just
like my ex boyfriend, and he's a Pisces and a
lot of your views are very very bad fish, you know,
like what you said about it's not the fact that
what you're doing, your actions and cheating that bothers him.

(37:44):
He that don't bother him. It's the hurt that he caused,
Like and he said that to me before, like you know,
like me seeing like what I did to you and
made me see like damn, I'm really fucking up for
doing that you But he don't think what he did
was fucked up. You ever feel like you could be
in love with like ever fun and love with somebody else,
I don't. I don't think that you can. I don't

(38:06):
think that love is a love is not a limited
uh options. You have amazing capacity for love. I think
that it would be difficult for me to feel the
way I do about I was very lucky and to
help a couple of ways. She's known me since I
was eighteen years old, so she she knows the totality

(38:27):
of me. So anybody meeting me now it's in mid stream.
It's easy to dig me now. But when I was scared,
when I was weak, or when I was had a
regular nine But but so so every relationship I have had,
whether business or personal or sexual, is about what is this?

(38:53):
What's this all about? You always have that in the
back of it, like, Okay, you know, I am so
lad that people give me something. I'd be like, I
don't care how that happens. I don't. I don't like
something to be like, no woman is with a man
like it's so funny because a lot of women aren't women.
They want to be with they do they settle for

(39:15):
settling down. It's like, I really want to be that's right,
So I don't. I don't feel bad. I'm like, my
old lady could have did better. She got me. She's like,
I could have been with well, you with me. I
don't care being a company real, you ain't gonna do that.

(39:36):
You ain't gonna do watch your conduct. Yeah, I just
think I think that you can't. The best thing you
can ever do for another human being is to not
necessarily tell them what you do, but to tell them
who you are. And you can tell them in all
kinds of by being consistently who you are, but but

(39:58):
by standing to a set of standards you believe. Then Like,
I've been such a It's so funny to me because
I've been. I have done such horrible things as a
young man, and such fearful and weak things as a
young man. It's why I think I see the world
the way I do now. I just think that you.
I don't want to live my life being afraid to
lose something. After all I've been through, I believe that

(40:21):
I'm supposed to say what I believe and and and
let the chips fall with it. Man. Wow, I mean,
so do you lie? Like if you get caught doing
by the police to the police, But I mean like
it's like, oh, was you with this? No, I will
say this. I will make sure that you want to

(40:42):
hear what I have to say before I say it. Wow.
So basically like you really want to I'll tell you, right, ring.
You gotta give people you know you're going to roller coaster,
and they always go, here's your last chance to get

(41:03):
I tried to do that all right now, I want
to switch gears a little bit. I was telling the girls,
I watched the show right, my six hundred pound life.
Have you ever seen that show with the people that
are like six hundred pounds and over? And I want
to ask you, have you ever given up on trying
to help somebody that needs help? I was watching the
show right the woman is six hundred and sixty one pounds.
Her sister was being so mean to her, and I

(41:24):
felt kind of bad for her because she was like, Oh,
I need to go to this doctor in Houston, and
I need you to drive me. I really want to
get better. I found this doctor and she's like no,
and then she's like, I'll go with you, but I'm
not driving it too far. We gotta get on the plane.
And you know how hard it is for somebody six
hundred and sixty pounds. She had to buy the whole
row and not not even just that, but like it

(41:46):
was hard for her to even get outside the house,
get in the car, get to the airport, get on
the plane, she was embarrassed. It was humiliating. Then when
she got to the hotel, she was um. She went
to the bathroom and there was blood all in her yearine,
so something mustn't happened, like you know, she's traveling. They
had to take her to the hospital. Anyway, I'm obsessed
with the show, but I kind of felt like her
sister was being really rude and nasty to her, like

(42:07):
I'm gonna take you there and then I'm gonna leave you.
I'm not saying I don't heard you say this before.
And I was wondering, because you know, she could die
her family if she doesn't have somebody help her or whatever.
Have you ever had to give up on somebody because
you just felt like they're just not gonna I think
I've given up. Like I have a cousin who's my um.

(42:28):
He's he is the most charming crackhead I've ever and
I I want to believe so I can say that
I've said to him, there are things I won't do
for you, but I'll never let you just die like

(42:50):
I'm not gonna. I just I think that it would
be the height of hypocrisy for me to give up
on somebody when people didn't give up on me. But
I can't let you just keep making me look weak,
like he would just do things like he would take
my daughter's you know, uh ps two and sell it.

(43:10):
It's just just all kinds of things that made me
look so fucking dumb. So I said, I, you know,
like I'll sneaky like I but I don't want to
give up on them to the extent that he don't
believe anybody in the corner in this corner, So I
can say that things I won't be available for, but
I'll never just say if he's like I want to
go get help, I found a doctor, You're there if
he can fool me enough to believe he believes it.

(43:31):
Like there's some people hard and hard so much that
go you lie to me so many times, and now
you're gonna pay for this. I don't believe that as
a human being, you're right is to take chances with
people you love. And if you your your responsibility, is
it what a coward you are? And like I said,
I spent enough for my life being weak and small

(43:52):
that I don't want to do that again. So I'd
rather air on the side of doing something that make
that maybe make me look foolish and not being there
for human being, Right, I like that point you just
you started to make and then you kind of cut
yourself off. But when you was like what a coward
you are? For? Like not what giving a person another chance?
Is that basically what you're gonna say? Yeah, giving them

(44:14):
another chance because they've done something before or whatever the case.
When you, when you have done things in your life
you feel cowardly about, you spend every other moment trying
to make sure that you don't feel that way. Right,
that's it. That's an unrelenting thing. And we all have
done cowardly things, like let's keep it real, everybody in here. Yeah,

(44:36):
but most people don't admit it. I'm one of those
people who don't admit it. Now, none of us in
here have ever been married. We haven't right relationship for
seven and a half years. I agree. But so I

(44:58):
always think that when peop to get married, they stopped
having sex after a while, and they go for long periods.
I don't know why I think that, maybe because I
know I was in a living relationship for seven and
a half years, and even through all our problems, the
only time we didn't have sex was that, you know,
thirty five days after I gave birth to my son.

(45:19):
Like we were we would be mad at each other
and I'll be like, like we went to Yeah, we
waited thirty five days. What's the point of having to
latinether if you can't have sex. Rather in I was
really young and we were like rabbits, like we wanted
to have mad sex. Like I went into labor from
having sex, like we were having sex. Yes, And even

(45:44):
though like I was saying, then something in the way,
somebody's closed the door. I'm serious, we went into that
like that morning. I can tell you when I'm when
I went into labor that morning. Um, you know they

(46:06):
say you start nesting. So I woke up and I
started like washing dishes at like it was four in
the morning. I couldn't sleep, and he woke up at
like five thirty for work, and I was like, all right,
let's have sex before you go to work. And we
had sex. And that's when I was like, Okay, I
got a contraction, and he was like, all right, I'm
gonna calling him. I'm not gonna go in and amekr sir.

(46:29):
But anyway, through the seven and a half years. Like
we would have nasty arguments, nasty fights, sex, we wouldn't um,
we wouldn't we would we wouldn't even be talking. But
we would still like manage to have sex like five
times in the week every single week, like we wouldn't
like like we literally would not be talking when be
going about our business. I'll do my day, he'll do

(46:51):
his day. We'll meet each other in the house and
I'll be like, all right, are you ready, and we'll
just go out. I'll turn around, we'll have sex. Yeah,
you are the best, the best being on the face
of the earth. Serious and I'm serious then and then

(47:13):
we'll finish and I was like, all right, get me
the rag and we'll go right back in. That's the
last words will say to each other. You love each
other during sex and everything still sometimes but it would
be like argument sex, It'll be like yeah, you know,
it'll be like things like that. Definitely, let's getting um,
you know, like I like that. That's not that I

(47:38):
think a lot of women. I think every woman does
not everybody a little bit. It depends out smack in
the face. I don't really want to get snack and
that's a hair pull smack like a hairpull. I like
an hairpull. Think about that and you kid ask, you

(48:02):
gotta just do it. And sometimes it goes too far.
So that's how you know. It's making the face of
appropriate whenness that right time like this, it's only a
right time when you can get away with this next
I think that might just ruin my whole movie. I
was not hit me choking. I'm that's I was dealing

(48:24):
with somebody and he choked me a little too hard.
I was like, Nah, this motherfucker might kill me one that,
Like I really thought that. I was like, yeah, I
was like, i gotta stop talking with him because I'm
about to die, like because I had never even been
choked before. So he didn't what you like that at first?
The first time it was cool, but the second time,
I guess he was like, let me put a little
more pressure, like let me turning blue and ship like

(48:48):
you're turning blue now? Literally, no, I'm not gonna lie.
I couldn't breathe like, I was like, na, he's that's
not because he like started to come, you know, he
was coming, so he got a chill, like you know,
they didn't come fast or otherwise somebody go in hospital.
I'm telling you, he would have been a jail for
the way to die. And he wasn't even trying to murder.

(49:09):
He wasn't just coming. He was trying to probably would
have got off of that, no, not actually would have
got off of that back, Yeah, he was. He wasn't
get off. I think you could kill somebody with an alibi.
He still ain't getting They had a dude in New
Jersey to kill a shot of dude that was breaking

(49:30):
into his house to kill his son. To my mentality
type ship. He didn't get off because people do get
off of the rough sex thing. Gucci man got off him.
What's the safe word? Stop? I was, I can't tell
you this, I can't. This cat is a he's a

(49:55):
famous comp. I can't tell you his name. So he
playing his gig and King Accommodate and uh we in
the Bay Area, right, and so I get this knock
on my door and uh, this cat comes, he said,
man kind of my room. I go, I go, I go,

(50:17):
what's up? He goes, something's wrong. So he had he
had this ship. She's tied up to the bed and
she's naked and she's unconscious and uh, he said, I said, man,
what happened? He said, he had this cat of nine tales?
Was this that whip? And he was they had always
whipped like he that he whipped her and um, all

(50:40):
of a sudden she told him it was hurting and
he couldn't stop. I said. He said, I couldn't stop
because why he whipped. So then I said, hey, man,
I'm not gonna I'm not in this ship and I'm
not touching nobody. And she woke up. She woke up,
and she said, hey, dl water and then went out

(51:03):
a right funny's supposed to do. Like man, I'm not
in it. He was like, here, hold me the body.
She wouldn't woke up. And I went right through the
front dad, and they killed somebody. He killed it. She
didn't wake up. Dat a toad. I swear the guy

(51:24):
out of toad. You can't be killing motherfucker. I'm I'm
not doing me. Would you I would help me out
the body? Yes, they would help me. A friend of you,
I'm man. I'm not telling if my kids did some
like I love them, but if they did something that

(51:45):
it spread out harm to humanity on something just old
evil hump up. But mean to kill it. I mean,
she's not dead, but I might have my daughter's but
my son, I tell on her, my son. If I
murder somebody, I'm gonna send him to jail. How could
you do that? I raised you better than now. What

(52:05):
are you doing murdering people? You gotta go to jail. Somebody.
It was kind of killed, like if somebody, if it
was if it was a justifiable kill, I will help.
But if he's being I don't like that. But if
he was being an animal about things, you know, like,

(52:27):
I'm gonna call the police on him, like you gotta
go do the time? You wouldn't tell him. I'm sorry,
you kid, you can. I was an accident. I've watched.
I'm telling you that when I was when I when
I was a kid, I grew up a Hunting's school
at lock Guarden. So I'm a little kid, right, not
a kid, but tinge welve, maybe two or four. These

(52:50):
kids they go, we got this chick were running the
trade on that right, And I go, oh wow, I've
always heard about this. What are you rt? I was
no um and so I hope that no. No I was.
So I go and I see this girl and they

(53:11):
are doing it to her, and I'm like, I don't
think she's this is not She's not with it, and
I said this ain't. She's not and I remember, so
I say, I don't. And these dudes are older than me,
and I like love them and that always been impressed
by them, but at that moment, I thought that they
were like it was theirs, like it's one of the

(53:34):
first times I saw men who I loved and respected,
seems small to me, like they were. I was like,
she's a girl and you and so I remember getting
their clothes and I said, she's not with it, and
she got and they're older than me, and I'm not
even scared because I'm like, even if something go left,

(53:55):
So to put on her clothes and she smelled like
pennies and it was she smelled like this real weird
smell that I would later on know that smells like blood,
like because spell a copper. So I get her clothes.
We walked and they hit me in the head and
pushing me and called me and buster and I was
weak and I never so I walked her to her neighborhood.

(54:18):
It was like five or maybe eight blocks away. When
we get the closer. Never she screams and runs towards
her brother, and this motherfucker picks up a butcher knife
and she is so hysterical she can't tell him. So
he's chasing me around the car and he catches me
and he goes, uh. He said, she said it wasn't him.

(54:41):
It wasn't him, And he said, I know this nigga,
know who did it. And I said, I can't tell
you who did it. He said, if you don't tell
me who did it, I'm gonna cut you. I said,
but they'll kill me. He said, I swear to guy,
you got three. I'm accounter three. You're gonna tell me.
And I closed my eyes and waited for him the
cup and so he didn't. And so while I'm walking away,

(55:02):
he hit it like both the mothers. The dude my
neighborhood was hitting me, and he was hitting me because
I'm getting my ask with her and I ain't. Don't
sit it wrong. So you months weeks later, at this
joint called Smithy's Liquor Store on hun, I see this
dude and he says, thank you. But I always like
to me even though I I wanted to be like,

(55:25):
I didn't think that it was right to do ship
to people that you knew you could. And even though
I did, like the thing with my son, or I've
done things that made me feel well, I always thought
that I always knew. The greatest thing I've ever done
to me is that that now I know I'm a
human being. Like, I don't think it's so. I think
that you're supposed to go all out for people you love.

(55:48):
I think you're supposed to try. I think you're supposed
to treat everybody with a level of certain respect in
d City. And I think if it costs you skin,
that's the price you paid for being a human. When
did you know he was gonna be a comedian? I
never thought about it. I never like I always knew.
I was like I was really dumb, so chicks would

(56:10):
always laugh at me. You know, do key either hustle
or the sport or play sports or make chicks laugh.
That's how you got When I was a kid, that
was what my career choice was. I wanted to be
a calm a comedian, and I wanted to be like
a voiceover person like Hello and welcome to movie phone.
That's the best ship ever, I swear you're thank you.

(56:37):
I'm sorry. I'm a little tired to them. I'm sorry.
I'm glad you ain't on energy. That's like I told
you about that. I didn't we have a conversation about it.
What I switch because first of all, you're not even
drinking your bit too. I ain't gonna lie that. Burbon
I got back to sibies rescue dogs they have you

(57:02):
never get your rescue dog rescue dog rescue dogs, like,
of course you're side baby rescue rescue dogs. They know
they was this close to going out. Let always say,
she's been through the system, Like, listen to the system.

(57:24):
So you don't mind that she's been through the system. Coyal.
She loved me, very loyal. You know why she knows.
She and she like we're the same. You'll be doing
that ship in the cover you and I must never alright,

(57:45):
so listen, we appreciate you for coming through. We never
really listen. This is a big deal deal. Huguley was here,
one of our biggest guests ever, and you told him
great stories. I was like, what are we going to
talk to him about? I'm glad you're do no chicken
and you the fucking dope ship ever so much. Drunk. Man,
she's gonna be ned and I'm drunk. I told Jack

(58:08):
and drink. Yeah she might. I can't do it. I'm fine.
I don't thank you. I don't want to be one.
But that's another thing. I have a drinking problem. I
can't just have a shot once I drink. I gotta
drink the whole bottle. I love you serious the best ever.
It's true, Ray, you know what. I was wanted to

(58:29):
ask you how your name because then the term DL
came about, and I feel like that had to suck.
Actually really actually like this naked do it so much?
That was that? That was like the first time ever,

(58:50):
Like when I grew up, it was deal was baseball?
What was that in base it was disabled sports? Disabled?
You can't be so your nickname was disabled. My name
is Darrell Lead. But this is getting word, he said

(59:11):
to him. He just made him just hate just that. Yeah,
and then uh and then uh, no way around. And
then there was like then it became download I guess
something and everybody was reading and I was like, I'm
stuck with the name because I always felt like I

(59:33):
don't want to just call you d L. I'm at
the I'm the postal check and I remember somebody said
you downlow. I'm like what but but and they could
do it so much he got that like I just

(59:57):
I just laughed because I thought about it, like down't wait,
you didn't know that's what we would talking about this
whole time. No I did, but I just thought about it,
and it made me make you Puerto Rico. That's certain
names that suct like if you're a white girl named Becky,
and I saw Becky came out like when Erica be

(01:00:20):
put out. Tyrone definitely went through it with Stephanie happy
yeahs over it's so yeah like and some dude said
it to me and fucking Memphis something. What are you saying?
What do you sud like you because of that? Like

(01:00:40):
we know you, but you know what they think about it.
I've never this is probably horrible, but nobody has ever
like gay dudes, don't come on me, white come on
to me, like I'm like, hey man, I'm attracting right
when I was a little when I was a young dude,
this dude as a little boy, he was a cat.
I can't say name because y'all running this ship just

(01:01:02):
to be but he used to He used to he
was a boy scouting and he used to have all
little boys over houth. He was not he was knocking
them all, but he never did it to me. So
a little boy leader house, crying and with candy in
the hands. Now I'm not that bad, and I was
like years later, no one's ever tried to fondle me.

(01:01:25):
I've never been you've never been on a casting house never,
How do you win? Everybody said, Sirie didn't he Oh
my god? And now you hear about Kevin Spacey. You
hear about all these people, and it's like nobody, all
the people getting my findo and nobody touched me inappropriately. Listen,

(01:01:47):
I'm doing a whole ary about this whole ring in
Hollywood have pedophiles. You know that, and I'm sure you
had to hear stories about it though even before I know.
But I was sold forlorn because nobody touched me, and
that that didn't happened like bet and stuff. You know,
he didn't got enough money to money to beified. Let

(01:02:09):
you look at you, but you didn't let me touch you.
You can be I'm coming with you. You would be
miss Cleo sla things, but you didn't know about Bill Cosby,
you know I did. I had an argument with Bill. Yeah,
I remember you said that we never will get to

(01:02:30):
hear it. Yeah, you never will get here because what
we were what was that? It was radios? Uh, it
was kids here and I was hosting the radio show
and um me Jackie Reid cat named Steve Wilson hosting
the show. Bill Cosby calls in to do his interview

(01:02:50):
and he, uh, he's a dick being obnoxious. I know
he don't like me, so I go, I'll let them
do the radios. Didn't like you because I didn't. He didn't. Yeah,
we did deaf jam and you know it was some
old he just philosophically didn't agree with the way I
did comment. So he's doing this interview with Jackie and

(01:03:11):
Steve and he's being such a dick. After ten fifteen
ten ten five ten minutes, I go, Mr Kazi, what
is it you like us to know? When he goes
who is this like O dear deluge And you say, nigga,
you do this? I said, with no offense, Ms Kazi,
I say nigga, but no chickens ever working with a
draws on backwards because dude, you could have been my son.

(01:03:39):
I said, I'm not your son. I said, I've never
disrespected the way you do comedy. I said, but but
but in terms of of of I'm father, I've never
you know, the ship I've never done and you you
you just ship on my life because you have a
certain purview, but you've done things that are morally repugnant

(01:04:01):
or words like that. We're back, go, go back and forth.
He says that he said, get something about this. This
interview ain't gonna happen. I like the funk it ain't.
And five of timides later, people from Immage Communications came
down and put it. They that and like and I'm like,
so I knew what I've never done, but I've never

(01:04:23):
understood and I've admitted here and not just here, how
cowardly and weak I've been at times in my life.
But what I've never done is to take something from somebody.
And I thought that this idea that because you are
this or that you should be able to extract a

(01:04:44):
thing for somebody, like to take something somebody to why
drugger woman, when lies and bullshit work just as good, right,
all right? It seems like it's some type of like
mental issue our Yeah, the way of control it is
if I and so people and people. I remember people

(01:05:08):
got mad at me because I said it. But there's
no discernible difference between Weinstein or Cosby or Spacey or
Trump their privileged people. You can say that Bill was
a white man, black man, but he still did ship
the black man. But he still did ship that white

(01:05:29):
men do. And people think that he didn't do anything
because they said he never got convicted of anything. Oh
j didn't get victim so fast. But we've all heard
the Cosby stories, um dope and growth. Yeah, like growing up.
Like even when I had that argument with him, it
was an article and people I forgot what magazine and

(01:05:50):
it was on the sixth page. I remember Oprah stopped
sunk with him because he did so stop. I'm not
gonna lie. When I was a little my mom told
me stories about Bill Cosbie. She do some lawyer or
somebody that she said that he did that to her.
She was like, if you ever are alone, don't ever
be alone with Bill Cosby. My mom has told me
that when I was mad young, why first of all,
why would I ever be in the room with Bill Cosby? Well,

(01:06:12):
I wasn't he never tried to touch Yeah, somebody touched you.
Please don't stop. You need to reach out to it.
Lawsuit it, goddamnit. I swear to guy, I closed the
bronx down. You don't start touching me. Get there? Did
she say she was from? He just guess that you

(01:06:34):
got really from you from man Chelsea? But how did
you make it that for? From? No? No, not Chelsea
in the United Kingdom, Chelsea and New York. So I
don't know what it is, of course, what type of ship.
But actually I am from the grand guy. He said

(01:06:55):
that I've had an apartment here. I guess I grew
up from Chelsea because my mom lived there, so that's
where I went to school when a lot of my
friends were. But my grandmother lived on one name to
get in the concourse? Where from? Hey, man, where's she from?
She's look her smile and she's trying to see if

(01:07:16):
you guys? Okay, wait, wait, wait what's your last name? Shot?
My last name? Her real last name? What are you?
What are you? I'm black? She's not Brooklyn Queens. Oh
what the funk? I thought you from Philly? You're beautiful?
How are you from Philly Brows. It's you Amberrows, Vivian

(01:07:41):
Green and and and uh and Jill Scott the only
beautiful woman. That's not true. In the fire shout out
saw some of your beautiful sisters in a lot of
beautiful people and Cherry Hill Hills, Jersey Bucks counting that

(01:08:02):
they're not it's no beautiful women Philly. That's not don't
do that. You know it's true. Well you guys saying
that have you ever seen beautiful women in Philly? You
was in looking mirror. No, there's some beautiful with my
best friend from Philly and she's beautiful to you, she

(01:08:23):
really is. She really My best friend is from Philly
and she's beautiful. She's and you see, Mick mill just
got sentences two to four years. Why violating probation. Who
hasn't he just want to stand it. He wanted to
be Tea so bad because because I was always getting

(01:08:46):
out of gail until he got his wife together, like
for having you going to deal for thirty days. I
went to jail New York for what? Because I had
a gun at the what? At the I didn't know
it was illegal that a gun but not I I
went to jail. But in New York the day that

(01:09:08):
they announced that my show was getting picked up by ABC.
I went to jail the night before. You didn't lose
your show that they still picked it up. Okay, that's
good because you know they could have fronted on you. Yeah,
but that was before they had Twitter and ship like
they were back home. So I got arrested and I
went to what y'all call that? No, it's you'll have

(01:09:28):
twenty for our court. Oh yeah, twenty four court. So
I go, I get arrested. I played the gig. I
got arrested the jef ke K. I played a gig
the night before I got caught with a pistol with JFK.
Go to court at ten o'clock in the night, ten
o'clock at night. The judge says, uh, mr went have

(01:09:49):
to impose significant bail and they say is ten thousand
dollars and my business masamers. Then she said, you gotta
have to give us a thousand dollars. You can't go
ship give it her. I'm out. I go back to
l A. Then um, I get Dave Becky, who was
my manager, and Kevin harsh Man, he'd been my match
for all the time. He goes, nobody's ever gonna find

(01:10:10):
out about it. ABC picks me up. I walked to
the air part with my wife and all on the
TV deal. He got arrested. It was horrible. Well who told?
But that wasn't everybody told. But keep it real, that's
not a bad one. It ain't like you. Because when
I landed and I had there was no bodies on
the gun. And this cat named Murray Richmond, who represented

(01:10:34):
d m X, said if you have thirty grand, you'll
never go to jail like thirty grand because it was
a class D fella. Yeah, Murs and that mothercker came
to court with essential book and what you'll have since Yeah,

(01:10:59):
I'd never heard no ship like that. They put me
in jail right, and they made me take my tenner
shoes off, my strings off my tenner shoes and uh
and that the cops left my door open and they're
like this to sell Anthony Mason for the next was
in and they left my cell open, and so I
bought the guards dinner and lunch and ship keep you like,

(01:11:21):
I'm not going to I'm not going to the regular
sale because like in l A, if you go to jail,
l a. They have high power, which means like people.
It's like what they got Like Sean Penn was right
next to the nice stalker when he was enjoyed. They
don't have you. They don't have so I said, you

(01:11:42):
ain't got no sale everybody, and so then, uh so
I buy the people lunch and they kept the door.
But I was on the phone. My lawyer comes. He
don't talk about here. But but I went to jail
and l a for thirty days when I got kicked

(01:12:03):
out of high school and got killed with a gun Chad,
and my mother wouldn't let me out. She's like, I'm
gonna let you. She had this workout, but thirty days,
thirty days? Did you masturbate? That's not you know, to
start masturbating our thirty two or so. Well, he was
a late masturbator. Why aren't you supposed to masturbate? Went
more when you're younger. But I always got ass oh yeah,

(01:12:25):
because you was yeah. I was like, I had this
girl name and then I ain't say her name because
you little street. But she had a small point she
had a small pointy. She had a little pony towel,
did y'all She looked like kind of like a gorilla.
But she was sold wonderful. So what made you start masturbating?

(01:12:46):
One time they had to stink of the spice shallow, Yeah,
the channels, and then we were catching a little glass.
Yeah little you know. I used to steal. Okay, well,
so you got it all free and I and I
and I cut it one time when my wife is
mad at me for getting busted for doing some bullshit.
I didn't think anything, but all of a sudden, I'm

(01:13:07):
so lazy and mastibated. I fall asleep with my hand
on my dick every leg. That's when you know. That's
when you know you're lazy. I'm too lazy to butt
never so fucking wonderful, Like I'm too lazy to get
to the to the end. I can't talk. That's a

(01:13:33):
good really, Sometimes that's when you know you're lazy when
you can't need to talk dirty to you and then
goes sleep because I feel like you know how to
make yourself come really quick if you want to, yeah,
really quick. Yeah, like you know what you know what
to do for yourself, so you know how to just
do it real quick. That's the whole point of it.

(01:13:56):
I'm just too romantic sometimes I do with my other hands.
I think, get somebody else. It's a stranger how you do,
it's not me. I think it's a longer process with
a guy than it is for a girl. Really, yeah,
I do think that because if I ever like done it,

(01:14:18):
or seeing somebody doing whatever in the case, like, I
can make myself come faster that girl's masturbating. A sexy
guy's masturbating. This like animals. Yes, I like castibating. It's like,
g you're not gonna like a guy. What you like?

(01:14:39):
You like how a guy? I like? I do when
it's like a nice looking because the guy can't romantically masturbated.
Guys have big hands, so they got a little dicky
mascipating and they look like you got you. Guys are wonderful.
I got to take care with me. I made a

(01:15:01):
guy in a masterbase with two hands. Yeah. I used
to go to I used to go to this joint here.
I don't even know why we I'm even having this guy,
But I used to stay at this place called the
Royalty here right, and it's on forty four, my favorite
till before I got an apartment there. So I would
go to the Royalton and back then they had to

(01:15:22):
bring you. The porn came in a tape, so they
had to give it to you right now. So you
would call down and you would say I want Black
Rods Latin Bods value. So they would bring it up
and then they would ask you do you want something,

(01:15:43):
you bitch, I don't, I'm good. You want popcorn? And
I say now they probably want to help. They would
bring it to you popcorn. It was hilarious. Look to
the popcorn like you need anything else? Extra hands you
ever try to hold you ever trying to hold out?
Are you watching porn like I want to come just yet? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(01:16:03):
I definitely you got that. One part of your favorite
porn is yeah do you listen? Do you watch porn
with volume on the one? Yeah? I was truly my
side baby, I like watching. Yeah, I don't care. I
don't want to hear you bit like you care about

(01:16:25):
the plot. No, I don't think I care about the sounds.
I care about this ship get started. Like when it's
consensual or non consensual porn, you're using too much big
words where you like it? When the girl is like
with it or when she's like no, the like's not

(01:16:47):
with it? Me too. No, I like it when when
it's when it's lesbian porn and the one girl not
with it, but then the other girl talk her into it.
I don't know. That's what I non consensual like a part. Yeah,
I'm like, let me skip funk all this talking ship
where they're gonna start sucking. Yeah. Yeah, And what's really
good is that now you could like look at it

(01:17:08):
and you can see like where you alright, like scenes
from right here, right you start right here. I never
knew that about y'all, pervert. I always didn't think it
was so destination specific women. Yeah I didn't. I mean,
I'm not gonna lie. I like men like a man

(01:17:30):
and a woman porn, like you know, I watch everything
I like. I like, Uh, I like either two chicks
old cheeks who are shocked and things. Why just wker

(01:17:55):
that's damn people. They call that um century porn or
something like that. I thought he meant milk. It's called
I cracked the rim. No, kid, I can't. I don't

(01:18:15):
want to see that. That's the only one I dig those.
I think this centurion point, let me look at this up.
I'll watch any other porn and stuff for that's just
called Centurion. How do you know this though, because you'll
be watching it too. No, I don't watch it. I
just know a lot about point because I've met a
lot of porn stars in my life. I met, well,
you know, I live in a valley, so I've seen before.

(01:18:38):
What's your name? A big chick? The real big chicken.
W No, No, she's bigg A long time ago. The
chicken which one has had, she's the white cheek changed
the game. What was the other? Um? I think you
know Janet? I got a years ago. I got a

(01:18:58):
copy of her first ship with the dude. Uh. They
did it for her, like I worked at the gym
with him. He said, yeah, this is a little hot
chicken and it was jenn and Jamison. She was afraid
of dick, like if she couldn't take the dick in this,
but it was so and then years later now she
just chased the game. Doesn't ever throw you up when

(01:19:19):
you're watching porn and it's like, um, the dick is
all in the screen and you're like watching it and
she kind of suck everything up. They focused on what
you like, you'll be watching you watching like the port
and then all of a sudden they focused on like
his balls and dick and come on, but I don't
like want to dude is having too much fun? Like

(01:19:40):
one thing about porn over guys. Why the guys always
with their boots only black dude? I was watching and
this dick up was on the he was on the
massage table, but booty Hoole niked with some boots on
always and Hi, it's always a one a big She like, no,

(01:20:03):
not that, Sean, Yeah, I don't want that's all right,
I'm sorry, Sorry, I don't want to see that note
that looked like the reddis from Braveheart. I don't like that.

(01:20:26):
Before she started sucking that dick like that. You're like
old women. I don't like. He's older than what ages
old like what we say, but he looks disgusted. And
have you ever had sex with an old lady? Like? Yeah,
my wife? Were you like when you were younger? Yeah?

(01:20:46):
When I was thirteen, he said, My wife was her
great name? Her name was Sean. Right, I'm thirteen years old,
and she's always come to the neighbor. She had a
little what they call it toyota. I don't even everyone
what do you people call it? Remember Dotson two teens
she had one of those and she had a shirt

(01:21:08):
with her name on it and said Michean. So I used,
I was like twelve thirteen and I had knocked off
the ugly chick named Shoulder. So I thought, I'm I'm
I don't know what I'm doing. So I would always
talk to her and I would always say I could,
I could I tell that as I was thirteen or twelve.
So she said, no, you won't, and she would always

(01:21:29):
say ship. So one day she said, I said I
would do it and and and she said we'll get
in the car. So I go to the car and
she had this shittys apartment. So we go to the department.
I'm thinking, I've been with this broad in my neighborhoods.
I don't know what I'm doing. And she's like twenty three.
It was oh my god, what So I go and uh,

(01:21:53):
We're going a room and she was rough, and I look,
this is I don't want you to be like this.
What do you mean by She was like she couldn't
do it hard? Yeah, And I was like, I don't
know what this is. And she would make it like
she would make with onions and stuff like that, like
I don't like this, like shut up, take it. And

(01:22:16):
she was smoking the bed and she would always come
get me. She would always like in the neighborhood, she
would come get me, and everybody thought I was so
cool because I had this older chick. She had her
name because she was she was wonderful, disgusting, and she
would have she would have like she would buy me
a game, but I could only play him there. She

(01:22:36):
would buy me clothes. I was gonna buy there. And
one time she gave me head and I didn't know
what that was. Third, it was hard, like that's what
she said. Shut up, you don't never say that was
second God, and it was it was like a rough
like I remember when she would pull up and the
dudes would be like, I think you're going to get that,
like yeah, and I'd be like that nobody touched you.

(01:22:59):
It was was that wasn't right, that's not at all.
You didn't even enjoy it. I did. I just didn't
like her. No, I didn't want to be with her.
I thought I had to marry her. I wanted to.
I liked I liked that you thought you had I'm thirteen.
So my one time she pulls up and she hunts

(01:23:20):
her hor and I go out, diuldn't call my mother's
outside water in the grass, and she said, who is this?
Who is this spitch? Right there? She said, who are you? Ship? Oh?
My name is it Sean? And she shaid, uh, what
are you doing? She said, Oh, he's my friend. She said,
how do you you know? He's thirteen? Bait you? You
ever come around here? Right? So take your ass in

(01:23:42):
the house. And I remember I remember walking through the
back and in my back with him going thank you,
because I never wanted to advantage. I liked it, but
I didn't want her to mean. But let's keep it real.
If your son, if that happened to him, you would
be hard. My son has asked for soon, so I
want him to get all the pussy. Stop it. My son.

(01:24:04):
My son hires hookers. I don't even care. No, he
felt that, but he's retarded. So it's just it's why
I know he's autistic. But I'm saying, listen, you still
don't want that. At thirteen years old, you wouldn't have
wanted that. I don't want anybody to rape them. Come on, now,
why do you say them like that. That's that's what

(01:24:26):
he wanted trying to you was crying going on, he
didn't slow down. That is not why you were traumatized,
and you wanted the therapy at all. Can we get
a therapist? Can we get him money? I didn't one.
I wanted to say, like she was say, pulling hair,

(01:24:46):
like why you're a person, your mond your mind so much?
But I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I did not
like it. I just didn't want to know. You won't
admit that you didn't like because you feel like you
were supposed to like it. But I know what I like.
You didn't like it? I did like. I just didn't
like her cookie she with onions or or like saying

(01:25:08):
me to me like what she said up? Where did
it go? And you have to admit something had to
be wrong with her to do that with it. Well,
I don't think I would never look at a thirteen
year old in my life if I was out there.

(01:25:28):
That's in jail for that right now, you know. But
they weren't her. She was beautiful and she's a sweet girl.
But her dude was like, like a dude that's been
mean to hers? What if you're doing year old how
about that? Yes? Well come on, now, what's the difference?
Drink that bourbon if you want stuck up? What if

(01:25:51):
they were cooking with onions and she would do that?
Like I didn't like like this? You know? She told
me that was the coolest shit ever, she said. She said,
when when a woman is doing something, you don't ever
let her feel like you're not enjoying it, and don't

(01:26:13):
ever let her feel like you're not in charge. That's
I love learned that. She was like, why are you crying?
The onions? Why are you crying? Because and she was
smoking the bed like I'm thirty because it's terrible cigarettes

(01:26:34):
and onions and copper. Right, she was smoking. But I've
never saw that ship like that. Showing her didn't do
that was the funniest shout molestation story I've ever heard.
It was it was trauma. I don't know, traumatize. She's
a sweet girl. It doesn't sound very after this. Can

(01:26:58):
we still go back and at her arrested? Who is
this up for that? I'm fifty three, she'll be sixty
sever Google like people you used to have sex, baby,
look like it was a girl. I won't tell your
last name. But she gave me crabs. And then she's
an evangelist, so I see her my name is evangelist,

(01:27:22):
and I'd be like you you your kid, your your churchman?
Was don't know you gave me crabs? She got it
from the past. I was fifteen years old, and I
used to knock this broad off right, So my appendix was,
why am I telling your podcast what happened with the
crabs of the appendix, I'm fifteen years old. My oppendix like,

(01:27:46):
I'm real sick. They take me to the doctor and
uh so they take my appendics out right, So when
I work up, the nurse she leans over and she goes, cough, baby, cough,
because you have to cough when you have surgery. I
don't even know why. She said, you have crap. No,
because they have to shave all your hair out. So
I didn't want to tell my mother, tray, help you

(01:28:08):
help you. Shies don't cover crap. I didn't because I
felt like that I didn't take it to them and
they'd be like crawling around. But I was a kid,
so I tell my uncle. I said, Uncle, put, I
gotta have this medicine so I can because because the
surgery cut my my my hair off and it's gonna eat.

(01:28:28):
And that mothercker went and got and he came back
and he closed door. He said, you made me go
down and they get this best ft crap and I
got white pants on. I got told man, I used
to go through it. We learned so much. This is

(01:28:49):
none of this gonna make it. But I had the best.
It's all gonna make it all making it. Trust and believe.
Shout out to your wife for dealing with all this
ship crabs when I had her. No, I'm talking about
generally not You came into the relationship with a lot
of luggage. I did. You came with a lot of baggage,
a battering, scrawling around. I wasn't a badder job. Sean

(01:29:12):
loved me and she's a sweet girl. And you're sitting
here judging. Okay, I'm sorry. Understand I'm not judging. I'm not.
You know, crabs never goes away. I remember seeing this
daily eggs. I know I had had a little comb.

(01:29:33):
You had a little com It was horrible. I used
to go I didn't even have no hair to comb
because they cut it all out. Well, No, I had
had They only cut half. Did you know you never
saw one of the crabs like walking around? Yes, a
terrible feeling. I was. I was a horrible kid, I

(01:29:54):
really could. I can't blame my mother for not liking me.
I was horrible, so I can't how great you turned out? Right? Yeah? Yeah?
And so now it's a couple of things I would
I would have a son like me. My son's retarded,
but he's a sweet kid. Well then he's like you.

(01:30:19):
You're so hurtful if I didn't respect you, someone, I
walk out with my half empty glass the bottom with
you too. Yes, that's yours. Okay, now what's we can
add later? Alright, dear me, thank you so much for
doing you check out his show to you don't want
to talk about your show? Wait? Wait, we got that.
We have we have my show on the Uh what

(01:30:42):
the fun I talking about? Well? No, we have bet
comedy get down with me Eddie Griffin, Charlie Murphy. Uh,
says the intendant George Lopez. Charlie, you know he passed right,
so Charlie. Uh, I'd always love Charlie. So we had
his church at the funeral of the church. And I

(01:31:02):
don't like going to church, so I went to Charlie's
funeral because it was Charlie. But the funeral was so long,
like five hours later, I was like, I wish I
was dead. Why am I not? Funerals are the worst.
But Charlie Murphy did lip service. When I was as
serious way back in the day, he was really good.

(01:31:22):
George Lopez, George Lopez, we're doing this thing for and
I know you're gonna have to cut it up. I
know you're tired. So George Lopez calls everybody. He's doing
this thing for Richard Pryor and and so it was
me and said and he called, he called Charlie, and
Eddie came on. So we go through this thing to

(01:31:43):
get up Eddie Griffin. I'm excuse me, uh, Eddie Uh.
Richard Pryor statue. So when we get there, we played
pr Illinois. We have such a good time. We decide
that we want to go on tour. And it's weird
because Blacks and Mexicans in l A don't get along
at all. It's like the only time you see them
together as a prison ride and so together. And it

(01:32:10):
was it was brave of him to do something because
it cost him a lot of fans. Yeah, a lot
of a lot of pigs. Why why are you with
those what they call us, I don't know what they
call us, but whatever it means, it means nigger. So
you would go to these gigs And I remember playing
the gig in San Antonio and this Catawood just got

(01:32:30):
out of the joint and he, uh, we would take
these pictures and he was tatted up as a big
Mexican kid, and he shook my hand and his old
lady I had tears in eyes. He said, that's the
first time he's ever shook a black man's head. So
when so comedy brought us all together? And when I

(01:32:53):
one time we were playing a gig in Phoenix and
George told this joke about this black chick and everybody's
calling him racist, and I went, this dude has risked
his fan base because he loves the people he loves, right,
And that's to me what comedy means. It's it's like,
you're supposed to take chances, you're supposed to make me.

(01:33:14):
Motherfucker's not like you like somebody's gonna see this interview
and hate something I said. Right, Listen, people watch his
interviews and hate some of us. Sometimes everybody they don't now,
but people be like, say, he's nice, sister. In my head,
it's funny because you came money are you noticed you
noticed Latina sitting next to you right away? And the

(01:33:34):
people are so many people complain that I'm always talking
about Latina on the show. I get that all the time.
You have to always say you're Puerto Rican, like yes,
I do, yes, I do, Yes, I do. I love
being Puerto Rican. It's like my favorite thing in the world.
It's my favorite thing. That's the first time taking a

(01:33:55):
part his hand. Not in my head though, but it's
like it's it's like, so I think comedy, comedy is brave,
and I think, uh, the cats I love to do,
like like the Chapelle's and the Rocks and the Lopez
and said gentertaining Eddie Griffin, like you can't ever pick

(01:34:19):
a side. People were upset that Chris Rock just recently, yeah,
for telling some jokes about like not wanting to hire
women and women uh, because they want to say, um,
rape for money or something like that. I didn't. I
wasn't there, so you know, I don't know exactly what happened.
It's so funny. People would never have slaves, but they
will have interns. So if what your slaves that you

(01:34:41):
can't sell, I think that we have a just Some
interns get paid. Yeah, I heard get paid. You're the
ones that I heard get paid. They do? They do,
ye intensips, they do? They get paid. I hurt, not mine.
I did a lot of internships. I ain't get paid
for it though, me black and Chinese. You built railroads
and pick cotton. I was definitely didn't doing both. You.

(01:35:04):
Let me tell you whether this makes it or not.
I love Charlotte Man and I love em. I think
they're very talented, but I think it takes unique human
being to be heard between so distinctly different voices, and
you don't do it in an allowed way or an
obtrusive way. Being you is enough to be clear, and

(01:35:27):
you should always That's why I was excited to see you. Well,
thank you. That means a lot to me. I would
like because don't even know who I am. That's not true,
but I'm excited. Thank you so much. We had a
great time until thank you. Now you gotta come in
to Breakfast Club next, you know, Yeah, what my contract
gonna let me do? That. Okay, well this is funny,
and you have a podcast too, right, yeah, truth, I'm

(01:35:50):
gonna have downa Brazil one don't know so you don't
even know who that is, Donna Brazil. You don't even
know who that is. You're like, honestly spell it b
r A Z. I keep doing you. I'm telling you
you're a bad little bro. But I only like the
black part of you, the aging part of racism. It's fine.

(01:36:11):
I just want to help them. I want them to
help me with my homework. But I love go homework.
Get out of here alright, Lift Service, be out of here.
Oh and don't forget. We have our live show coming November,
Highlighting Ballroom, the first ever Lip Service live. So make
sure you're bout tickets. I know we have it all
posted in our Instagram pages in New York City

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Angela Yee

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