LS Episode 475: Stone Cold Heart (Feat. Elaine)

Singer, Elaine joins the ladies of Lip Service this week to promote her latest project 'Stone Cold Heart.' Elaine opens up about getting ghosted, falling out with friends, her experience with love bombing, and much more. Enjoy!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What's Episolife service. I'm g G Maguire.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm Geordie George. Hi, everyone, it's Elaine.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Was sweet Listen, don't let it for you, baby, I
know it's not so sweet.

Speaker 4 (00:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Why Stone cold Heart?

Speaker 5 (00:27):
Stone Cold Heart is a title that I came up
with this year, actually earlier this year, and it came
after I was just going through so much in my life.
You know, I feel like being nice sometimes, especially in
the industry, there's like a very thin line between being
a people's person and like being a people pleaser, you know,
And I think it came from a place of no

(00:48):
longer just wanting to please people, and it does take
away from like a person like myself who's always like
you know, thinking with their hearts and like so giving.
Sometimes you gotta have a stone cold heart or no
heart and just you know, my over hearts. So it
was sort of like coming from that place of having
to sort of restrict myself because I love to love
so freely, but being in a place where sometimes I

(01:09):
feel like you have to love strategically and it's so
it's so odd to me, but I guess necessary, and
it's what I'm figuring out on the album and sort
of like trying.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
To you gotta adspen.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
I have to adjust, I have to adjust.

Speaker 5 (01:23):
Yeah, I can't necessarily think with my heart or put
people before me.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
That sucks that you can't think, like move with your
heart because you can't trust everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
You can't.

Speaker 6 (01:33):
Was there a specific situation that made you be like,
maybe I need to address things differently going forward.

Speaker 5 (01:39):
I think so many, so many situations. I think the
last straw, which wasn't even a big deal, but I think,
you know, when it's like a snowball effect, the one
thing that gets you to like your breaking point is
not always like the most intense thing, but it's at
that time. So I think it's when I decided to
go independent, you know, and then you start to see

(01:59):
the back and forth, and then you start to see
a lot of things that you weren't exposed to before.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Oh I want to dig into this, Okay, So let's
talk about Ela for a second. You're from South Africa, Yes,
South Africa. And you started off as an independent artist, yes,
and then you signed to Columbia Columbia Records, right to
Columbia Records. But then you went back to being independent.

Speaker 5 (02:20):
Yes, recently, about a year ago. I know that decision.
It was more of like a business decision for myself.
I think being a South African artist, we're at such
an interesting place in our lives and our careers and
just as a country. You know, we're breaking so many barriers.
We've got so much global attention and global lab tyler,

(02:44):
you know, like the girls, TEMs, all of them. The
girls are doing so amazing. So I think in the
same breath, there's also like a lot of figuring out
that's going on behind the scene from both parties, you know,
parties that are trying to cross over and people that
are trying to help, you know, connecting the dots. There's
still a lot of like maneuvering.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
You did well before you sign though I do it
pretty lit already. Did you think that signing to a
major label was going to make things like, Okay, this
is about to be easier for me? We got like,
I don't.

Speaker 5 (03:18):
I don't, Yes, I don't. I don't think I thought
it was going to be easier. I think it was
more so about the platform and the structure, the machine.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
The machine.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I don't think you not have to do so much, even.

Speaker 5 (03:29):
Not doing things independently. I don't know much of what
gets done on.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
An international level. You know. I did what I could locally,
but internationally it's such a different boardgame.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
You know, let's go kind of like go to that
next level.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
So then we're exactly And then it was a pandemic.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah, and you signed during a pandemic.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
I signed. I literally signed like via zoom.

Speaker 5 (03:54):
Yeah, it was crazy. It was like the pandemic. And
I was a full law student at the time as well.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
So did you read your own contract or did you
have a lawyer?

Speaker 2 (04:02):
No, I had a lawyer. Did you figure this out,
I'll do it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I
had I had a lawyer. There were a few lawyers.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
Yeah, it was a really lengthy process. It was exciting,
and that happened, and then it was a pandemic. So
obviously I was stuck in South Africa for some time
and it was a scary time for everyone for the world,
so I had to stay put for some time. And
then I was quarantining in Mexico for some time.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
I know.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
It was the.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Craziest thing ever.

Speaker 5 (04:34):
While living into I was not living quarantining.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
That's crazy. It sounds like you guys were doing island living.
I was not. I was not on the island living.
It wasn't that I.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
Had the time to quarantine.

Speaker 5 (04:57):
Yeah, no, it wasn't that in Mexico because that was
the only way that I could get to the US
during the pandemic from South Africa. There had to be
a point where I stopped to quarantine.

Speaker 4 (05:08):
So quarantine Mexico fourteen days.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
It was longer than that.

Speaker 5 (05:11):
I think it was thirty days, yes, because of yes,
But what was it like on the day to day, writing, praying,
speaking to my family on FaceTime?

Speaker 2 (05:25):
I was by myself. It was really just connecting. And
I was young. I was like twenty twenty one. No,
in Mexico, I was scared. I don't want to meet anyone.
I just wondering, like to meet myself and I yeah, no, no, no, no,
no no.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
They didn't have anybody like appointed to help you.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
It was the pandemic.

Speaker 5 (05:41):
It was really like you were like at a resort
or yes, I was at a hotel. Yes, I was
out of hotel, everything everything, and when it is, I way.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Right, nobody while you were at the resort, like people.

Speaker 5 (05:57):
Like love interest now oh sorry, I always thinking I'm
always thinking, Hell, you.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Didn't have a fling.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
You didn't have a fling.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
And I didn't a fling in Mexico.

Speaker 5 (06:06):
No no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
And that's what I was doing there.

Speaker 5 (06:13):
You know. It was really a crazy time. And I
was there for I think the thirty days, and then
I moved to LA and I got there and it
was amazing. I got to make amazing music, music which
is on Stone. Some of it is on Stone Cold Heart,
some of it isn't. And I was finding myself early twenties,
and I think for the first I stayed in LA

(06:36):
for two years, and for the first nine months I
wasn't able to go home because of the pandemic. Store
there was still restrictions, the visa issues and everything, so
I was stuck.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
For a minute, you know.

Speaker 5 (06:47):
And during that time, I'm celebrating birthdays on FaceTime. I'm
celebrating Christmas on FaceTime, Easter.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
You know.

Speaker 5 (06:54):
So there was like a shift in me in my
mental health. And I think that and just being so
young but being so passionate, you know, it's always like
a tug of war. And I think eventually, when the
music was done and it was time to sort of
figure out a way to put it out. I was
already sort of feeling like it's not the right structure.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
For me personally, you know.

Speaker 5 (07:17):
I felt like I needed maybe more people who understood me,
or who understood the sound, or just needed to try again,
you know. And yeah, that's when I just decided that
I was going to put out the album by myself.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
And yeah, how was.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
It to get off the label though? Because I would
think that they weren't going to be willing to just
be like, I don't know how this works, but to
be like, all right, good luck. Do you think, like,
how did you get out of it?

Speaker 5 (07:42):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (07:43):
My goodness?

Speaker 5 (07:43):
It was not easy, but it wasn't impossible, which is
what I appreciate because I feel like there's so many
situations that I've seen have so many artists who get
in but can't necessarily get out of the deals, you know.
So I was lucky enough. It wasn't even like a
terrible dealer, was a licensing deal, so like from the bats,

(08:03):
I don't think it was that technical for me to
be able to get out, But there was like the
emotional side to it, you know, they always going to
try when I, you know, talk to you figure some
things out. But I think eventually we got to a
place where we mutually felt like, you know, my goals
and there's just for the time being, just not necessarily
on the same page for now, and that's okay. I

(08:23):
feel like, even where I'm at now, I'm not necessarily
saying I'm closed off to the idea of major labels.
I might be, you know, interested in revisiting the conversation
maybe in the near future, you know, finding a bit
of STI.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
It was a time.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
It was even signing during the pandemic zoom, then going
to America for thirty days, then moving to LA That's
a lot your first deal, you know, and so it
wasn't so easy to be able to promote, to link
up with other people. That's not easy.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yeah, it wasn't easy.

Speaker 5 (08:55):
And by the time, you know, I finally met the people,
because there's actual people at the label, you know that
you need to meet in real life, and you guys
need to find the flow. It was so many moving
pieces that we had to sort of put together, and yeah,
we tried, and we have beautiful music out of it.
And it wasn't all a terrible experience, not at all.
I learned so much and I've grown so much, and
the resources that I got out of it are still

(09:17):
till this day, life changing.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
You'll be fine, we got Yeah.

Speaker 5 (09:22):
Yeah, So I'm grateful. I'm so grateful for that experience,
and I feel like it set me up for every
other experience that I'm here to have.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Well, let's talk about personal experiences in that case. Yes,
because the way this album starts off was Brandy sample.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Oh I love Brandy.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
That is the ultimate breakup song. I remember breaking up
with somebody was playing that song and being like, Dann,
I feel sad. Shit. So I gotta know for you,
what were you feeling like, because that's a real emotion.

Speaker 7 (09:54):
Right there, long as lonely hearted, like what happened?

Speaker 8 (09:59):
Right?

Speaker 5 (10:03):
Oh my goodness, broken hearted as bit. It feels crazy
saying it out loud because it's so different when you're
writing about it and you're alone in the right.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Broken heart today, right.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (10:24):
And I since, Yeah, you know, I'm still sins even
when I'm angry. But I think at that time I
was really angry. During that time, I had just moved
from I'm over it now. If it was me like
two years ago, I'll be like, let's go now, I'll
do it location.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
We love.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
I was moving to.

Speaker 5 (10:46):
L A during the time, right and there was someone
that I was seeing at the time and we were
on and off, and by the time I was moving
to l A, I was just like, you know what,
I don't think this is gonna work.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Cool off of this.

Speaker 5 (11:01):
So remember from me deciding that I'm moving to me
actually being able to physically get on the plane and
leave was so much of back and forth and trying
to find a new flight and canceling the flight because
of the pandemic. So I'd be like, I'm leaving next
week and then something comes up and then I can't leave.
So from the time that I had announced to the
people in my family and to the people that were
close to me versus the time that I actually left,

(11:23):
there's like a month in between that space. So as
we're doing this back and forth with me, you know,
adjusting to me moving, I decided that I'm going to
ace this person that had been in my life for
some time, but they were very toxic, you know, they
had mental health issues. So I was just like, I
can't deal with this on a long distance type thing,
you know. So I started to speak to someone else

(11:43):
and they were cool. I met them through a family friend.
And it wasn't even anything hectic that happened between us
or anything that was so monumental or life changing. It
was just the vulnerability at the time of me getting
to know someone and speaking to them. It was just
someone that I was talking to on some Oh my gosh,
I'm about to countries, you know, and I'm leaving behind
so many things, so many people.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
And we were cool.

Speaker 5 (12:04):
And then long story short, he ghosted me, right and
then it just felt like a double heartbreak, and I
was so.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Ghost what is raw? Like, what's going on?

Speaker 5 (12:18):
Thin?

Speaker 6 (12:19):
Men sometimes don't have the courage to just say, hey,
I'm not interested, or I'm not where you're at, or
you don't.

Speaker 4 (12:25):
Know how to use their words.

Speaker 5 (12:27):
But I was so offended and taken it back by
that because it wasn't even about what was going on
between us, but what I had mentioned to you at
the time, you know, I had told her I was like,
oh my gosh, I'm going through so much. I'm about
to leave my country. Like my mom's in essential worker,
she's a nurse, so it's so scary, you know, she's
in the hospitals every day, like I was in a vulnerable.

Speaker 9 (12:44):
Place, you know, at least like me as a person
just respecting or like I was just in a vulnerable
place and that on top of everything else, and just
my degree was just like none of these niggas mean ship.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Like I just got on the plane.

Speaker 5 (13:00):
Just like writing, and I was so upset. And that's
how it came up with that title.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
It's nice toy, Yeah, the dear Diary.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
That's what happened.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
It is it's so like petty. But I realized how
that instant just like sort of snowball effect into so
many other things because just off the bad my discussions
with men were very.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Like what do you want? You know?

Speaker 5 (13:30):
So yeah, like it was laiter down the line where
I started realizing where the breakdown was. And it was
just because of that one silly dude that meant nothing
that inconvenienced me at that time. But I felt that
because I was vulnerable at that time, you know.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Because sometimes when you're going through something it hurts so much.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
It just hurts so much more.

Speaker 5 (13:47):
It's like you were not even that deep, my nigger,
Like it was not even that deep, Like you were
not that great, you didn't change my life, but.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
You could have been friends at least.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Thing that people don't understand don't have to be that way.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Before that, though, you said the person you were dealing
with have mental health issues. That's a difficult thing. I've
had people ask me, like, how do you handle that
if you're dating somebody they have met, because you also
don't want to abandon someone because you know, for a
certain like some things they cannot help, you know. Yeah,
it's like it is a sickness if it's a mental

(14:19):
health issue, but then you know at certain times it
affects you. It's like, what's the balance there of knowing, Okay,
I want to be supportive, but at the same time,
I don't want to endanger myself, right.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
I think it was a very difficult thing for me
to figure out because it also borderline fold manipulative. You know,
most of the time, it's just like I don't really
have a say or a valid comment on your behavior
because it's always going to fall back onto the fact
that you're lacking this, or you're not one hundred percent okay,
or you're struggling with this. So it's just like, what

(14:51):
ground do I really have to call you out, and
what's the likeliness of you actually changing your behavior?

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Right?

Speaker 2 (14:57):
So I think he was weaponizing his month.

Speaker 5 (15:00):
I feel like that was also me learning, you know,
how powerful and scenttitive mental health is, but just how
to maneuver around it is also really tricky, especially when
it's someone's you know, like personality, you know, like, oh,
I'm this and this and that because I'm suffering from this.
Oh I'm this and this and that because you know
I'm going through that.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
But they basically diagnosed or just saying that.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
I've never also feel like, yeah, are you a fortually.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
Diagnosed we're the papers polar or is it they just
saying something's wrong?

Speaker 5 (15:31):
And since I met them, they were just open about
you know, this is what. So I never really took
the time to ask, like, you know, I just would
never want to think twice or really make someone feel
like are you really though?

Speaker 2 (15:42):
You know, are you really depressed?

Speaker 6 (15:45):
So actually a conversation recently with an actress I forget
who it was, and she was saying she didn't even
realize she was technically in an abusive relationship because someone
kept weaponizing what they were going through. But it was
a manipulation tactic to make her feel and like control her.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
Some people are on medication, like they have to be
on medication correct in order.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
To correct, you know.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
And I never saw any medication. You know.

Speaker 5 (16:10):
Maybe it was a private thing that they did, but
I never saw any medication, and I never asked. And
perhaps now looking back, there's so many red flags that
I'm realizing that I should have asked. I should have
you know, but you never know, especially if you've never
necessarily been in a relationship or been around anyone that
is suffering from a mental health, whether it's valid or not.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, and then you got hooked up with a family friend,
you know, what's tired about hooking somebody up.

Speaker 5 (16:34):
Then when he goes to and I know, and she
wasn't even trying to hook me up. She was just,
you know, like, damn, girl, you're about to move you
you know, let me talk to someone, you know, So
I don't blame her. She she it was cool, and
we were all friends at the time, so it was
harmless until it wasn't.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Sometimes it's hard to help people up because you'd be
like I like my friends to be like I'm like, yeah, girl, but.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Go ahead I'm also not I'm also like a matchmaker. Yeah,
I don't.

Speaker 5 (17:08):
I don't like to take on that role. I'm not
a matchmaker and I'm not a wingman because.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
I'm scared. I don't want to be involved. I just
want to Yeah, I don't want to be involved.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
But then after that, right now you're in La So
then how do you start dating after that? Because it
feels like I don't.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
I don't.

Speaker 5 (17:27):
I tried, but Los Palmis Avenue that's me trying. You know,
I tried, but I don't know, like I don't know
dating in America or maybe it's La. I only stayed
in La is rough it's America. It's like so detached,
you know. It's like I'm with you, but I'm not.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Like, well, let's talk about Las Palmas Avenue. So that's
a real story.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
That was Yeah, yes, yes, so Los Palmis Avenue.

Speaker 5 (17:57):
I was and I'll keep saying talking because none of
me and these people were in a relationship. Got to
a stage where it was actually like, oh, we're in
a relationship.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
So me and this.

Speaker 5 (18:06):
Person we were really cool, you know, And I stayed
on Los Palmis Avenue in La So I guess that
should have been the first red flag because we only
ever really spent time at.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Las Palmas at your place right right.

Speaker 5 (18:24):
And if we were not at Los Palmas, we were outside.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
You know, you never so you never went to his.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Place, no me.

Speaker 5 (18:33):
We met outside like at an event, at a private event. Yeah,
we met at a private event in La.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
It was cool.

Speaker 5 (18:39):
But we had known of each other already. We had
been following each other right for some time, right, So
it was like, oh, it's.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Oh you
stay in La now? Oh nice? Where about Palmis Avenue? Cool?

Speaker 1 (18:51):
You know?

Speaker 5 (18:53):
And at first, because you know, La is like so active,
there's always something happening, it would just be I would
so happened to see him outside, and every time I
see him outside, we so happened to hang out, you know.
So it wasn't a way you ad what are you
doing NEXTNK. It was just a I'll bump into you
and then it's cash we hang out. And so this

(19:13):
started happening for like the next three months, the first
couple of months as I arrived in La. And then
eventually he was just like, oh, do you want to go?
Do you want to go hang out? Is it Lucky
the place where you go bowling, Yes.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Lucky Strike, So that was our spots. So we went
to Lucky Strike.

Speaker 5 (19:29):
That was like five vibes and everything, cute cue, and
so we started spending time at Las Palmers, you know,
started to you know, get to know each other. And
off the bat, he wasn't a very open person and
I wasn't either. Obviously broken hearted as bitch.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
You know, not really into it.

Speaker 5 (19:46):
So it's not giving open right until randomly I get
like screenshots from an account and it's in my requests, right,
and yeah, and I DM right and it's in my
request so I don't really see the damn.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
So it's been there for like a week or so.

Speaker 5 (20:05):
At this point I go in and it's a screenshot
of and his numbers not safe, so I can see
the full number on I message, right, So I first
go back and check if I have the number saved.
I have the number saved. Then I see whose number
it is. Off the beats, I already know what's going on.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
So it's a conversation.

Speaker 5 (20:19):
Between him and another girl and her talking about what
time am I meeting you?

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Oh, it was so nice to see you. I love
spending weekends with you, you know, bring.

Speaker 5 (20:31):
In mind that weekend he had told me he was
supposed to be at a work ding, you know whatever.
So she just sends me those screenshots and I'm like, okay, cool,
you know it was it was such a petty thing.

Speaker 2 (20:43):
You know, but I was just like, well.

Speaker 5 (20:47):
You know, yeah, generally, what am I supposed to do
about this? She didn't, she didn't say anything. She just
sent the screenshots. She didn't say a word.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Was it from a secret account or was it from
the person's real account?

Speaker 2 (20:59):
Yeah? The chest, Yeah, with the chest.

Speaker 5 (21:03):
Which is what made it so much more easier because
when I confronted him, I was just like, hey, and
I said her name, I said so and so and so,
you know, let me know that you guys had a
really great time this weekend at your work ding. So
I'm just gonna yeah, and then I'm just like I'm
just gonna fall back, you know, you guys do your day.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
And he was shook.

Speaker 5 (21:26):
He was shook, And I think that's what made the
whole thing so dramatic, was just because he was so shocking.
He tried to guess like me, he was like, why
are you in my business? And I'm like, I literally,
it's just it's just like yeah, and it was just
it was very toxic on both it and actually because

(21:46):
she was also just like very much like you know
what you're doing. It's not even that deep. I didn't
know about you. You clearly knew about me. No, but
she did have like a cute little following like she's
lucky strieling. He just decided to just you know, remove

(22:08):
myself because for you to dal me with your chest
and send me screenshots is already so messy. And it's
not even like you were fighting for him. It's just
like you were letting me know that you were spending
time with him, so it's not like.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Trying to let me know.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
And I was like, well, technically he wasn't in a
relationship without one of you.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
He wasn't. So that's why I said, say, let's that's
what the song says, my man, you know is ours.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Doesn't feel competitive sometimes like for us as women, you
know how sometimes you're with somebody like kind of and
then he's dating someone else and then you feel like
well if I I mean, I don't know, because I
think sometimes that does happen where you're like, oh, I'm
gonna let him do this and then he's to be
with her and now no, no, I.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Can't do that.

Speaker 5 (22:54):
I can't do any casual anything. I can't do I
can't do it. Like, if we're not exclusive, it is it? Yeah, no,
then we're not doing it.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
What if he would have just been honest and been like, look,
you know what, I wasn't with either one of you
and I was still his reactions yeah like you if
he would have just been honest and I apologized, you know,
that was very messy. What if he would have did that.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
I would have appreciated.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
You.

Speaker 2 (23:17):
See.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
The thing with me is like, let's just be honest
from jump. Let me know that this is not going
to go anywhere. You know, we're just vibing or I'm
trying to see other people whatever.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Then I can.

Speaker 5 (23:25):
Decide for myself. But if we're spending time together and
you know you're my girl, you're my girl, you know
you're my girls, but he's never asked me out.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
So until you ask me out, I'm not your girl,
you know. Like for me, it's just like yeah, call
you that, I'm just like.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
Okay, like, oh you're not my girl. I'm just like
it's so scared a bit you'd be like, oh, this
is my man.

Speaker 3 (23:59):
Talk.

Speaker 5 (24:00):
Yeah, So I don't know, had you just been honest
and just not so slimy? I feel like it was
just so slimy.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
And so does somebody cut everybody else off? Because you
were talking to him? So that means that you cut
everybody else off? Because I also think sometimes we're at
a disadvantage when we start dating somebody. It's not official,
but we're not talking to anybody else.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
That's how we lose.

Speaker 5 (24:21):
Is that how we lose low key, like in the
talking stage and we're talking to one person only.

Speaker 7 (24:26):
Yes, because you just cut everything else off and then
it doesn't work out, and then you got to try
to either find somebody new where we build connections. And
it's just like what people fail to realize is when
you meet somebody, there's always somebody else before you, like.

Speaker 4 (24:44):
Nobody in their lives.

Speaker 7 (24:45):
There's always somebody in said person's life in some type
of capacity, whether it's a sexual relationship or just talking
readership or going out to coffee relationship. You have somebody
that's on your phone in some type of way. And
when you meet some elsa and you like that person,
you gravitate more towards them and put your energy there
and either you let it fade or you say, hey,

(25:05):
I'm in a relationship. Now I'm gonna fall back. But
that's what we do as women. These men they just
want us all. They think they're gonna juggle us all.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
Just like in that period you're getting to know someone
else that you're gravitating to. It are you supposed to
cut everybody else up?

Speaker 6 (25:22):
And when it's official, think you have a ninety like
I think it's three month, ninety day grace period to
let the hose fall off.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
I think we all have those people that.

Speaker 6 (25:35):
Because they spend the block every time. So it's like
even if you aren't even talking, like let's say this
man that goes to me, right, he's gonna come back
January fifteenth, he'll be back like my taxes, right, and
so I'm going to be like, Okay, now I have
to say something, whereas before I wouldn't say anything if
I met somebody tomorrow because we are even speaking, But
he's gonna come back, so I'm gonna have to say something.

(25:56):
Then that's a ninety day grace period.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
Grace period.

Speaker 6 (26:00):
Pakay, Now I have the time to say something, but
I'm not necessarily going to go out of my way
to say do you.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
Think you could love two people at this? Like absolutely? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (26:13):
In this I don't know. I don't think I can.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
Fas difference between loving and being in.

Speaker 6 (26:19):
No, I've definitely had life friends at the same time,
and I didn't know what to do, like truly, they
do it to us, but like that's me, like actually,
and I felt bad, but I didn't know.

Speaker 4 (26:32):
What to do.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
I felt bad.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
I didn't feel bad though I felt bad.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
And they found out, but all they did they did
so then did they both forget?

Speaker 5 (26:41):
They know?

Speaker 6 (26:42):
We went on on and on for then another two
years with both of them.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Did they ask you questions? I feel like guys like
I did, like, yeah, I'm glad trash.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
Once and then they didn't catch you again.

Speaker 6 (26:58):
So they caught me in the SLI like, Okay, well
I'm single. I'm not dating either one of you right now.
But they were both my ex boyfriends separately, okay, like
at one point and then I broke up with one
and then I'd be with the other, and there was
like that lull period where it was like I was
switching and then one found him in my phone damn.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
Yeah, and it was legal. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
I don't know if.

Speaker 8 (27:29):
My past, my past from my Instagram to that one
really got me in trouble Instagram. Yeah, and my homegirl
was doing the same thing and they were friends.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Oh it was a mess.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Yeah, damn TV show.

Speaker 6 (27:45):
But now that was a long time ago.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
It was more than the other.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yes, yeah, so surely he wins easy.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
I think you know what it was.

Speaker 6 (27:57):
I think it was actually trauma because he knew my
mom before she passed, and she was he was there.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Through all that.

Speaker 6 (28:06):
So well, they both kind of were, but I was
with one and so I felt like, oh, but he
knew my mom, Like I always felt like I gave
him a pass for that. I shouldn't have done that
because he was the trash here one.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
But but that was the one. Sometimes we gravitate to
the trash here one.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
The trauma bond. Yeah, exactly exactly. I feel that.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Well, what about the song Waiting on You. Let's talk
about that.

Speaker 5 (28:31):
I love waiting on You. Waiting on You is like
the sweetest, most purest innocent song on the album. I'm
not cussing anyone out.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
You're being very I'm being very sweet.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
That's some things going on.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
You know.

Speaker 5 (28:48):
You know, it was still very sweet and very love
a girl, but it was coming from like a more
personal perspective. I think it was more so the feeling
of constantly waiting on everything, you know, waiting for your turn,
waiting for the right love, waiting for the right relationship.
But at the time, I was in the label waiting
for them to give me a date for my song
to drop, just waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, and it's just

(29:10):
like finding inspiration in the waiting.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Period, it's like really difficult.

Speaker 5 (29:15):
So I spent a lot of my time making music
and I made that song during that period, so it's special.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
It is.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
It's a sweet song.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Sweet's perspective, it's a different perspective, feel like, you know,
maybe I'm not so stone.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Cold, although maybe you don't want to be.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
I don't want to be. I don't want to be.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
I don't want to be. And I think that's how
I feel like women get that way because of our experiences.
It's like we don't want to be that way, and
when you trying to ignite that, you can feel like
I don't have to be that way with then get better.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
Yeah, I agree, I agree. I like the song Relapse.
You like Relapses?

Speaker 6 (29:57):
It Why I like it, it's because you acknowledge the
friends aspect of it, which I feel like a lot
of women ignore. When you're like I forgive you, but
are my homegirls gonna forgive you? And like, what am
I gonna tell that?

Speaker 1 (30:08):
That's when you bring up with someone you cannot tell everybody.
Nobody can because when you get back together, none of
your friends gone.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
Exactly, you're not gonna let it go.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Yeah, and that's so real, I know. And I was
that person.

Speaker 5 (30:19):
I lost all my friends actually sadly. Yeah, so that
was a song from back day when I had friends.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
But you lost your friends because.

Speaker 5 (30:26):
No, I don't know, I think I just you know,
we just lose your friends. I don't know if it's
after I became famous things changed, and not necessarily because
I switched up, but naturally I am going to change. Yeah,
it's not even like I did anything wrong, you know.
I think about it quite often of the breakdown of

(30:48):
friendships when you get to a certain place. Maybe it's
just the fact that there was very little that we
could connect on. Maybe our priorities changed, but Yeah, it
was really painful, especially when I was putting the album together. Usually,
you know, i'd have like my homegirls, like, girls, what
do you think? But this part of my life, this
album was like a very lonely time for me. So

(31:09):
even in relapsing, I remember when I wrote the song
it was about the person that I was telling you
guys earlier about that was struggling with his mental health
and we'd be on and off and he'd always just
to get me back. There'd be a bigger trick than
the last, which involved his mental health, you know. And
every time he would do this, I'd tell my homegirls
like he's doing this again, like he's just he's doing

(31:32):
this again, and they'd be like, this is not good,
this is not healthy. You know, you gotta cut it off,
and then cut it off, and then he'd do something else,
and then I'd have to tell them that, you know,
and it was just terrible because I ended up, you know,
distancing myself from them because I didn't want to let
them down every time you know that I was relapsing,
you know, and then I just started not telling them
about what was going on. And it sucks not being

(31:52):
able to tell your homegirls just because you feel like
they're going to shout at you, but you know they're
gonna shout at because they're coming from a good place.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
And then you ended up isolating yourself, and.

Speaker 5 (31:59):
Then you isolate yourself, and then it's even more terrible
because it's not like your nigga's acting right, you know,
and you're icing your friends, so you're just hurting yourself.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah, you're just hurting yourself.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
So yeah, and then asking that you just never got
down to your friends, right.

Speaker 5 (32:15):
It wasn't even after that. Me and my friends were
straight for years after that incident happened. It was totally
related to other things. I think the more we started
to grow into ourselves, maybe just being the first famous
person in your friendship group is a shock to your
friendship group, and maybe it is difficult to adjust. And

(32:35):
I mean, I was away in another country for two years,
so there's only so many face times that can really
make up for me missing birthdays and me missing graduations.
But I don't know, It's like every time we were together,
I was either making the plans or we weren't really linking,
you know, or I was texting or I wasn't really

(32:58):
hearing from them. And then the last straw was when
it was my birthday and I didn't get a personal message,
but I got like an Instagram post and I was
going back and forth like is it is it worth it?
Like is it that deep? But I'm like, damn, I've
known you for like more than ten years. A personal
message would.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Have hit hit different.

Speaker 4 (33:22):
You know, the whole country coming with you.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Babe, like FaceTime me a text.

Speaker 5 (33:26):
But I also understand that you know she was going
through whatever she was going through at the time, so
I can respect that. But if you can take the
two minutes to post me, could have kind of taken
to it just low key even anything. So it just
started to feel more and more detached, you know, just
the little patterns of like you can't call me, but
you can post me. It's just like the little things,
and it was just like I also, I'm not a

(33:48):
person that likes to address things, so I never there
wasn't an actual fall out. I didn't address anything. I
just I just fell back.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
When you go home, do you call like or just no?
That's it.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
My family and my brothers, yeah, me and my brother's
already tired.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
It's not something that can't be at some point, you know,
Selvash like, maybe it's just.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
They don't say anything after my album dropped.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
Oh my god, that's.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
New friends like friends.

Speaker 4 (34:17):
That hurts, new friends that hurts.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
That's just hurt And.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
You know, yeah, I mean I didn't lose. Yeah, I
lost quite a lot of them. I still have.

Speaker 5 (34:28):
It is disappointing, but I've also learned to hold myself
accountable and let everyone else hopefully hold themselves accountable. I'm
not bashing anyone, I get it.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
I'm not saying I'm just saying it's probably hurtful. Though
it does hurt.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
It hurts like we're friends for years, but it happens.
You know.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
I was thinking about this book.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
Hold on.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
I'm gonna tell you the name of it, because I
think this is interesting. Her name is mel Rap and
she's like a motivational speaker. But she has a book.
Is it's called the let them Theory, right, and it's
just to let other people make their choices and live
their lives and start making your job or responsibility to
manage or control what other people are doing.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
I love that, I said.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
By using this theory, she said, I've never felt so.

Speaker 5 (35:07):
Free I love that. That's where I'm at. Yeah, I'm
just letting people do what they want to do. I
feel like I'm also the person that's always in people's ears,
you know, like don't do that, don't do this, you know,
be straight, be this. So I'm tired of being in
your ear. Like you act however you want to act,
And I'm going to add how I act. You know,
everybody's grown and everything, so just keep the same energy.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Really well, You've had a lot of accomplishments and music wise,
thank you. That has to feel good being like the
most stream South African women artists on Spotify. Yes, you
know that was a huge feat when you did that,
and putting out your album, going your EP going platinum,
where you put the EP out, that had to be
an amazing feeling. And even doing R and B. I've

(35:51):
been the only part of Africa I've been to is
South Africa to Johannesburg amazing. It was an event that
was for women artists, so I got to meet a
lot of people while I was there. It was called
her Story.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Oh Fire, What year was that?

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Oh it was before the pandemic, okay before and I
was oh wow, it was a beautiful, beautiful event.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
I can imagine to go out there and see.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
The support, and it was like all of the South
African women artists that were there and.

Speaker 5 (36:18):
When they pull up, they okay, say girls are going
to pull up?

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Yes, the support that you get back home.

Speaker 5 (36:27):
I love South Africa. I love the South African fan base.
I think I'm always just so taken aback by the
support that I get from them. Because how I dropped
my EP I was like a law student, had like
seven hundred followers on Instagram, give a take like four
hundred followers on Twitter, and one day I just dropped
the link and I switched my phone off because I

(36:47):
was just annoyed at some things that were going on
that day. And the next day in camp, I'm on
campus in class and my phone is still off because
I'm upset.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
And the lecture hall is just really weird.

Speaker 5 (37:00):
Everyone is staring at me, everyone is pointing, everyone is kicking,
you know. So I'm like, what's going on, Like it's
really uncomfortable. Then I step out, I pull up my phone,
and then I'm number one. So that's how it happened
organically over overnight.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
But being a law school student and that in like
your producer's dorm room. Yeah, which is amazing. Imagine I'm
going to because first of all, law schools are ready
hard enough.

Speaker 2 (37:23):
It is stressful. Yeah, yeah, it was stressful.

Speaker 1 (37:26):
And then to be able to even have the creative
because I feel like when I'm working, it's hard for
me to like do anything creative when I have to
work so much. So how do you, like, how were
you able to switch back and forth from like legal mode.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Of former therapy creative to be able to create.

Speaker 5 (37:41):
It was like just a way of life for me,
Like I just felt very demotivated going to school every
day and not doing something that I love. You know,
I love education and I love going to school, but
it wasn't really what sets my heart on fire. So literally,
in between classes, any minute that I got to go
to the studio or to my producer's dorm room, I

(38:03):
would take it. In between lessons, in between lectures after school,
Like I would go to school, go to lessons, go
to the studio and be there till like three am,
go home, shower, and go write an exam and not
even because I had to, but just because I loved it,
you know, And that's passion yeah, it's passionate. Everyone was
just like, what are you working so hard for?

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Like what is this?

Speaker 5 (38:24):
You're not even like a musician, Like what are you doing.
I was like, don't worry, don't worry. You know, I'm
doing my own thing. And everyone was just like demotivating
me when it came to making an EP, because it
was like, no one comes out with an EP, you know,
you put out a single first, you know, let the
market get to know you.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
It's like, no, I'm not really prayers. I had a story.
I was like, I'm gonna give you my whole heart.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna give you a four law.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
Appreciate, thank you very much.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
And that's the no co sign.

Speaker 4 (38:50):
No nothing, yeah, no, nothing, how rare that is anything.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
I don't have anything.

Speaker 5 (38:58):
God's grace and the sad that African fan base, thank you,
and the South African fan base. So you know, I'll
always attribute my success and all of the amazing things
that have happened to me because of my South African
fan base.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
I know, we're such a diverse nation and.

Speaker 5 (39:16):
We have so many genres and I think right now
I'm a piano is like the center of focus.

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Always, you know, which is amazing I do. I do.
It is so fun I do. It's a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
So I first learned that from Uncle Waffles. Obviously she's
it existed, but that was when I first really knew.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah, she helped.

Speaker 5 (39:35):
She she she played a huge role in helping it crossover,
you know, with her presence, her energy. So yeah, I
think I feel even more like honored to do what
I do because even with a piano meaning so much
and being such a huge part of our culture, I
always feel like they leave a seat at the table
for me. It's like, oh, but there is our R
and B go, we're gonna show her love when she comes.

(39:57):
You know, we're gonna we're gonna listen. You know, we're
gonna tap in. And that's I feel they look out.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
You know. South African fans are not easy to impress.
I'm not easy to They're not easy people. So but
I know they love me, and.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
I know that because of the response outside.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
One thing about it, to make sure.

Speaker 5 (40:18):
One thing about it, Yeah, one thing about it, and
you know, it's like I see the love in real life.
For me, it's always like the real life experiences every
time I'm outside an essay.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Always come up to me. I always show love.

Speaker 5 (40:28):
The shows are insane, The shows are out of this world.
Some of my best shows are in s a just
off of the love the fan based the people. You
guys have to go to go, you know, I've never
to go.

Speaker 6 (40:42):
Although the Great White Sharks? Where is that at Cape Town?

Speaker 2 (40:46):
I'm not maybe you're not going to see the sharks.
I don't even know what you're talking about. What sharks
vibes with the.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
But now let me ask you what are you attracted
to when it comes to dating?

Speaker 4 (41:05):
Right?

Speaker 1 (41:05):
One of the things is it looks? Is it power? Like?

Speaker 4 (41:08):
Some people don't care about looks so much?

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Right? You know, sometimes there are things that physically we're
more attracted to than other things. Like for Elaine, what
are some things that you look at?

Speaker 2 (41:18):
You like?

Speaker 1 (41:18):
This is the real connection for me?

Speaker 5 (41:21):
For me, it's a man that's able to be considerate.
A lot of men are inconsiderate. And I mean it
just like in the simplest way, like are you are
you a considerate man? Like?

Speaker 2 (41:34):
Are you thinking of me?

Speaker 8 (41:36):
For me?

Speaker 2 (41:36):
You know?

Speaker 5 (41:37):
Are you thinking so that I don't have to necessarily
think for the both of us. I hate being in
a relationship but feeling like I got to think for
both of us here, I got to make a way
for both of us.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
I got to figure it out for both of us.

Speaker 5 (41:48):
So someone that's considerate and someone that's emotionally intelligent, I
can't deal with what do.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
You mean as nigga? Like, what do you mean? What
do I mean?

Speaker 5 (41:57):
Like it's in the message, you know, it's like it's
read so emotional intelligence and just being considerate and being
a provider. And being a provider doesn't necessarily mean giving
me millions every day, but Oky, maybe you won't complain that,

(42:18):
but providing in so many different ways, you know. Can
you give me your time? Can you give me your attention?
You know a lot of things, but I think the
top three massage?

Speaker 2 (42:29):
You know. Can you say, can you do like something
sweet for me when I'm at the studio? Can you
send a bouquet of flowers or you know, send some
noble to the studio?

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Anybody list it between somebody being considerate and being a stalker.

Speaker 5 (42:48):
Oh no, no, I think, oh yeah, there is a
very thin line, but there really isn't. I think a
stalker is quite literally dangerous. You know, like you can't
be all up in my girl twenty four to seven
and you can't be blowing up my phone.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Because sometimes for guys, they're trying to get your attention.
But there is definitely a thin line between like sending
the studio, sending flowers, doing this if you like somebody,
oh that's great. If you're not sure, it's like, oh.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
This is right.

Speaker 5 (43:18):
And there's also the love bombing aspect. You know, we're
like they'll do everything like and you're so completely hooked.
So that's why sometimes it's like beyond what you can
do and just like who you are as a person,
you know, sending me everything every day is cool. But
a lot of people can do that. Actually a lot
of people want to do that just because I feel
like that's the easiest thing to do, just send her something.

(43:39):
But can you actually, you know, act ride, Will you
actually come by the studio you know and come listen
or you know, actually like give me your time for
real and be involved.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
How are you were playing music for a guy? Like
if you and him come to listen.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
And that's the last thing we're doing. That's my main
that is.

Speaker 5 (44:02):
That is the last thing we are doing. Far away
from the studio. We can show anyway about the studio.
The studio you're coming in. If you're like my man
and you already know all the lyrics, you know, you
can sing the song top to bottom and yeah, other
than that off limits.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
What about him like coming to your shows and stuff?
Are you cool with?

Speaker 2 (44:26):
That's cool? Okay, Yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Sometimes cute, it's cute.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Yeah, it's cute.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
You can come coming backstage with some flowers.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
Yeah, come back to your flowers, you know, show me
the videos you took from backstage, you know, wear the
full merch.

Speaker 1 (44:45):
I can't wait to start posting post.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
I don't think i'll start I don't think i'll post
somebody right now. Why must I post?

Speaker 6 (44:53):
All of a sudden, You'll see me at my wedding
day and they'll be like, who is this? And even
then it will be the back of his head. You
won't know anything about him, that's all.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
That's all.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
You'll see his shoulder.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
I posting posting?

Speaker 1 (45:07):
What if he must to post you you can post me, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Very yeah, you can post me, post me. I'm not
posting though.

Speaker 5 (45:16):
Yeah, it's even hard for me to post myself now.
I must post you that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (45:22):
Well, you think you're just not good at social media? Like,
what do you mean.

Speaker 5 (45:25):
I just think I've like learned how to give of
myself without having to give of my like sacred parts
of my life, you know, parts that actually really play
a role in sustaining me.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
My well being.

Speaker 5 (45:43):
My partner is like a huge part of my life,
you know, And I wouldn't want to throw him into
whatever was going on internet.

Speaker 2 (45:48):
Yeah, Internet is crazy.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
It is.

Speaker 5 (45:50):
Internet is you're having a good day today, Tomorrow you're
not having a good day. You could be having a
good day in the morning, and then in the evening
someone tweets something crazy and then it's upside down, right,
that happened to you.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
It happens all the time.

Speaker 5 (46:02):
This morning, someone will on the phone with me telling
me it's going down on the internet, and I had
to tell them to stop searching my name on the internet. Yeah,
Like I needed to keep telling my family, like, don't
search my name on the internet, Like why are you searching?

Speaker 1 (46:13):
That's the worst? Yes much your family. Yes, it's like
something that I can handle.

Speaker 6 (46:19):
But my family, they want to fight, They want to
fight so mad.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
My mom gets so emotional. I'm like, babe, stop searching
my name on Twitter.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
I can't imagine anybody saying I've never seen nothing crazy
about you.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Really, that's great, thank you.

Speaker 9 (46:35):
Don't search, just bump the music music.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
I feel like you're definitely a little rebellious, though.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Am I do I give rebellious? You're an aries. I'm
an aries territory a little bit.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
You know, there's a club here in New York that
you're a band from because you're aries. I don't know
the name of Yes, is that legal?

Speaker 1 (46:58):
It feels like some type of discriminate.

Speaker 4 (47:02):
Discrimination is really like a thing for real, But they
talk about it.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
I saw that. Is there a sign that you won't date?
Or do you pay attention to that?

Speaker 5 (47:09):
I don't really pay attention. But Gemini is give me
a tough time? Is it is anyone in Gemini?

Speaker 1 (47:15):
Gemini men are very.

Speaker 4 (47:18):
Say that, you know, I love a Gemini apparently. I've
had so many.

Speaker 7 (47:25):
All of my significant relationships have been with Gemini, Gemini men, Scorpio.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
The longest relationships.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yeah, be played with Yeah. Cancers are also a bit wild.

Speaker 4 (47:36):
There's a cancer buzzing around me. There's a cancer now,
and I'm like.

Speaker 1 (47:48):
You know, because I search things like on Instagram because
I'm a Capricorn. I always see like all these memes
about Capricorn and they be so accurate.

Speaker 5 (47:56):
Every time they are accurate. I think that's that's like
the mind about it is like I'm like.

Speaker 2 (48:02):
Oh, I don't really believe in it, and then I'm like,
but wait, they gag you. I'm like, yeah, that is
so mean. That's crazy when.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
When you want to toilest and in your man means
like was like did you see this?

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Did you see this? That's my love language? And food,
like I want to try this. I love food. I
love food so much. That's my love language.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Now listen, have you ever been like, just do you
believe in love at first sight?

Speaker 5 (48:33):
I do?

Speaker 2 (48:34):
I do.

Speaker 1 (48:35):
Has that happened to you?

Speaker 2 (48:36):
It has, which is why I love or lust? No,
it was love. It was love.

Speaker 5 (48:44):
It was just like for me to like, really, I
think something is love. It must be something that I feel,
you know, and there's some there is someone that I've
met for the first time and I was like, Wow,
I feel I have feelings for you off the bad?

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Wow, where did that go.

Speaker 2 (49:03):
Far?

Speaker 4 (49:04):
Really far?

Speaker 2 (49:05):
It's still going You didn't mentioned that it's getting hot
in here, and.

Speaker 5 (49:16):
But yeah, to be continued, to be continued on the
next project, maybe I'll say a little something more more.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
Because it feels like this album started off a little
heartbreak ish and then it kind of like then there
was a relapsed situation and then there's the you know more.

Speaker 5 (49:34):
But some of the ones up there, it did end
on a sweet note.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, So it's like it's like a happy ending of
some sort. Yeah. Yeah, I never like to end projects
on like a terrible note like.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
Ending.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
It was a good ending.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
For Lovely Slowly is a really fun song.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Thank you. That's my favorite song. That's the song.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (49:57):
I had so much fun putting that song together, and
we incorporated rock into it as well, which was my
first time. I made the song with my good friend
and producer Zeke he South African, and we were working
on that song.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
For two years. Wow. Yes, we started.

Speaker 5 (50:14):
Working on that song in twenty twenty two when I
was staying in l A. And we have a bunch
of other songs together as well, but that song we
were just going back and forth on like the palette
that we wanted to create, you know, we just like
wanted something that felt smooth fresh. We were listening to
a lot of like full columns at the time as well,
who was like inspiring the sounds?

Speaker 2 (50:36):
Yeah, we were. We went really just.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
That one song, I can feel it.

Speaker 4 (50:45):
We all had that studio.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
Yeah yeah, so yeah.

Speaker 5 (51:00):
In Pala as well, we spend so much time just
listening to these fire artists and finding a way that
felt like unique to me as a South African you know,
R and B artist and.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Funny at your age, like the music that you're inspired by.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
I'm an old soul.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
Yes, so much.

Speaker 2 (51:16):
I can tell.

Speaker 5 (51:20):
I don't send playlists because I feel like boys my
age will be like girl.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
It's so impressive when a man can be on your
musical like palette.

Speaker 4 (51:30):
Yeah, you know what I mean, because.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
That's a hard thing to do.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
Music is so intimate.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Yeah, Like being able to lay around and listen to
music that y'all both can like have a unique It
is amazing.

Speaker 4 (51:41):
That's a real intimacy.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
There's nothing works then when somebody doesn't like the type
of music you like and they'd be playing shit and
you'd be like.

Speaker 5 (51:50):
That happened to me a lot when I was staying
in La Every time I said I was South African.
They would like search indigenous like South African music, and
that's what they'd be playing, like on the car to date,
and I'd be like, damn, like I listened to trap,
like you can play something.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
I was like, it's okay, like yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
Have you ever dated white guys?

Speaker 5 (52:13):
No?

Speaker 2 (52:13):
I haven't.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
Okay, Yeah, you guys are thinking about being it all
types of men.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
I haven't. Okay that you haven't either, I haven't.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
I want to say that I discriminated. It just hasn't happened.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Yeah, it hasn't happened for me.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
It's different.

Speaker 6 (52:27):
You know what I want to I can imagine Blazian baby.
I want to have a Blatian baby. That's like my dream.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
It'd be like because my mom is black, my dad
is exactly. I'm like, you know, have you ever dated
another race at all? Period?

Speaker 2 (52:39):
I haven't, Okay, yeah, I really haven't.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
No, have you dated a Asian guy ever?

Speaker 2 (52:50):
I haven't dated one.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
But you've slept yeah, okay.

Speaker 6 (52:55):
One.

Speaker 5 (52:55):
It was great and there's never like a culture barrier
or cultural shock.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
Well there is so.

Speaker 6 (53:05):
Well I don't know because I didn't really like to
see him that long, but I guess in my mind
and I made this up in my mind. I lost
my mom, and so I'm like, I want a strong
woman of color, and I don't know if I want
it to be a black woman like for my kids grandparents.
I would love to, but I'm like, I don't know

(53:26):
if they I don't feel like they make black women
like they used to.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
I don't even know my.

Speaker 6 (53:29):
Generation, seriously, like I don't know, like my when I
think of my grandmother's I'm like, I don't know if
any of these bitches could ever measure even me. And
so I'm like, Okay, what would the next best thing?
I feel like an Asian grandmother would be.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
Like really disciplined and really as I.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Need that, You're right, grandmother who don't like black people?

Speaker 6 (53:48):
Yeah that you know, obviously that wouldn't work, but you know,
I would need them to be very accepting, like.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
What was that?

Speaker 1 (53:57):
Who's that?

Speaker 6 (53:57):
Who's the girl on the talk not the talk, the
real like her mom is so cute?

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Yeah, I don't know, we got to ask, no kidding,
he might tell you something else, but yeah, something like
that that.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
I love that for you.

Speaker 7 (54:11):
That is very I love that for you is so
interesting if you do that the culture. I mean, you
just want her to have some culture and substances. What
you say, I do. And if it doesn't come from
a strong Black woman, maybe a strong Asian woman.

Speaker 6 (54:23):
Somebody else from a different culture, I think, right, being
a person of color.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
What you're saying somebody?

Speaker 2 (54:29):
So you think you're data South African men? Yeah? Do
you know? Do you know what they look like? Do
you know what they like? What they like? I don't know.
I don't want to speak bad on my brothers. What
they like.

Speaker 5 (54:42):
These are like they love black girls, Yeah, they love
the South African men.

Speaker 2 (54:47):
Are you know modern men?

Speaker 5 (54:49):
Someone into black girls, someone into traditional South African women,
someone into white women.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Some you know data cross that's pretty much yeah. Modern.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
What do you mean you speaking bad?

Speaker 5 (55:00):
Right?

Speaker 1 (55:02):
I don't like you from your experience.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
From my experience.

Speaker 5 (55:06):
You need to give yourself time to find the right
type of South African men, you know, I think it's
I think it might be difficult and rocky in the beginning.
There's different types of men in South Africa. There's men
that are into independent women, you know, women who have
autonomy of their lives, of their bodies, of their choices,

(55:29):
women who are confident in themselves, who speak out, who
speak against men, And there's some men that don't like
that and aren't into it and are totally opposed to
women who have a voice.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Yeah, do they all men like that who are liking it?
Why do you cuss so much?

Speaker 4 (55:46):
In Lane?

Speaker 2 (55:47):
We don't like what you were wearing that video, you
know what I mean? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (55:50):
So, and I'm just saying more conservative.

Speaker 5 (55:53):
We do have some conservative and we do have modern.
We do have traditional, there's polygamy. If you're trying to
have sister, we have everything. There are people who are
with you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
What's the difference between men in l A and you
would say South African men.

Speaker 5 (56:17):
I feel like South African men they still some way
have like they like there's like a quarter sea for you,
you know, I don't know if it's like the African
thing or like the There's like a spirit of Ubuntu.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
It's called Auntu.

Speaker 5 (56:32):
It's like a peoplehood, you know, being a good person overall,
you know, being caring. So there's still a spirit of Ubuntu.
Even if you're meeting yes, you know, you can still
feel like, Okay, I'm speaking to a regular person. That
has regard for me and respect for me until you
figure out what they're like in a romantic relationship. But

(56:52):
I think that's the difference between that. I think when
you come to America, you know, whether you're a black
woman or not, you're just damn what can you offer?
You know, what you bring it to the table? Or
there's nothing significant to them, like you're just there's so
many women that they have access to that they don't
see women as like valuable or even significant. I just

(57:13):
didn't feel significant, you know. Yeah, I don't know if
I'm wrong.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
Was I in the wrong? Was in the wrong?

Speaker 1 (57:20):
I think La is different too than others. Yeah, La,
La is because a lot of people there I think
aren't from there, and people move to LA because they're pursuing,
like you know, so they move there, and sois Sometimes
it can feel transactional, like what do you do?

Speaker 2 (57:37):
You know first, that's the first thing they all say,
what do you do?

Speaker 1 (57:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Atlanta is the same way.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
I haven't been to I live there.

Speaker 4 (57:47):
It's very what do you do?

Speaker 1 (57:49):
They do?

Speaker 7 (57:49):
Ex where you're from because most people aren't from there,
but it's very what do you do? There's a lot
of like how can you help me? Help me type
of vibes? I get that, like how can I what?

Speaker 4 (58:00):
What type of you know? What can you offer me?

Speaker 7 (58:04):
As far as like your resources and your network?

Speaker 4 (58:08):
And it's just like, what's.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
Up, Elena? I would think though you feel you seem
like a prize. You could sing you're beautiful than your
baby hares have happened every time you keep looking at you.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
That's one of them.

Speaker 5 (58:28):
D M is like the dams are rowdy, rowdy. You
can have to catch me in your life. Yeah, if
you're serious, it has to be in real life. Do
you respond to the d M s. Who's the spiciest
d M you've gotten.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
That? What was that? I wouldn't put them on.

Speaker 5 (58:57):
It's always like high profile people who are actively in relationships.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
That's why I'm like, I wouldn't want to, you know.

Speaker 5 (59:06):
So I'm just like it's yeah, it's crazy, yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Disappointing.

Speaker 5 (59:12):
With you. You know, I'm not so keen on dms
because it's just like, what's really going on? So you're
gonna have to catch me in real life and tell
me your story straight, and then.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
They'll be like, oh, that wasn't me from my pro
that was my homeboy that do you know.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
What I mean?

Speaker 5 (59:26):
You know, and then they take a screenshot if you
respond like, oh, Elene is responding like you know.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
Yeah, I know the best.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Maybe it is an approach on a business level, you think.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
So that would upset me if I think you're about.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
To give you some money and they could be like
and they could really do business then get.

Speaker 4 (59:44):
To know you as a p okay okay, okay and make.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
You feel more comfortable. But that if they really want
to court you, okay, I would think, okay, because how
else are you going to respond? You're not going to
respond to somebody up Hey maybe girls know right, But
if somebody's like, you know, we have this baby hair
product that we think you'd be great.

Speaker 5 (01:00:02):
To Yeah, what do you need? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
I will respond to that.

Speaker 5 (01:00:14):
Well.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Ellene. We appreciate you so much for coming.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
You so sweet, Thank you for having me. This was
so much fun. This was my first you know, girl
get together here and I had a great time.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
I had a good time and we had a good time.
Because your music and then getting to talk to you
in real life and understand where those songs are coming from.
I think that connection is important and so we got
a chance to really feel what your past experiences have
been like. And like you're only what twenty.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Five, yes, twenty five.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Yeah, this is when all the ship stuff happens. I know,
you can get it out the way you want, like
all the shitty things to happen earlier, so that you're like, Okay,
you got that out the way, Dallas. I'm always grateful that,
like I went through a lot earlier on yeah, so
that I could kind of like learn my lessons.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
I agree. I'm never opposed to failing forward, so you don't.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
I'm not opposed to tripping up this field.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
I'm not. I'm not opposed to it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
All right, Well, Elaine, thank you much, and you guys
make sure you check out her new project that's out
right now. Because you did this independently.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
I did so.

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
And your heart doesn't feel so stone cold. It feels
like it's it's getting warm.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
It's always warm.

Speaker 5 (01:01:22):
It's just sometimes I set up real quick before I
do certain things or head you know, head places, or
engage with certain people.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
So I'm learning when to do, you know what I mean.
So I'm learning how to balance.

Speaker 5 (01:01:35):
Yes, I'm planning my I'm going to be having a
national tour this Valentine's unfair, but yes, it's going to
be exciting and then hopefully there'll be more in the US,
so stay tuned to the socials.

Speaker 6 (01:01:46):
Okay, we have a music video idea for you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
You do what is it? You know the story of Medusa?

Speaker 6 (01:01:52):
Yes, and like she she turns men to stone, but
like the backstory is because she was she was heartbroken.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
You should do a player on that. You a you?

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:02:03):
We like? Okay, creative director director direct all Bright, Well,
thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
It's Lift Service in Light.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
Thank you.