Kelly Clarkson

The Angie Martinez IRL Podcast brings you another episode featuring multi-platinum artist, songwriter, author, and Host of The Kelly Clarkson Show, Kelly Clarkson. 

In this week's episode, Angie and Kelly discuss personal issues that affect us all. From the impact of daddy issues to how being a mother changes your outlook on life, these two powerful women have a heart-to-heart that will make you feel seen and heard.

Throughout the conversation, Angie and Kelly share their thoughts on various topics, including the importance of self-care, and the power of positive thinking, and offer insights on navigating difficult situations as they share their personal journeys. The podcast takes on a therapeutic feel that will motivate and empower you.

One of the key takeaways from this episode is the reminder that only some arguments are worth attending and that only some deserve your story. 

Angie and Kelly's conversational style makes for a refreshing and entertaining, informative and fun episode. Whether you're a fan of Kelly Clarkson, Angie Martinez, or just looking for an uplifting and inspiring conversation, this episode of the Angie Martinez IRL Podcast is a must-listen.

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Andree Martinez in Real Life podcast. So it's real Life
is the name of the podcast, and real life so
we talk about real life. Yeah, I know, I remember
from the show. That's why I wanted to do it. Okay, good, Yes,
I remember. I listened. By the way, I've been posting
clips from my show, from my show when I was
on your show. Yeah, they're so funny. I love every

(00:20):
time you come on. It's rare people are comfortable, like
in their own skin and just have a conversation. Oh yeah,
you don't have to work. You could just yeah, you
can engage. Yeah. I'm just like, oh, oh, you're comfortable
on your skin. That's awesome. So you said you were
going to come. I was. I was thrilled. I was like, oh, goad,
she's a talker, she knows how to talk, communicate, share.
I just enjoyed conversation. Oh like, I just mean because

(00:41):
I like it when. That's why I was so excited
to do your podcast, because I was like, oh, man,
she would be fun to talk to you. One thing,
I thank you, and I well, let me say let
me let me ease into that first. I will ask
you off top because this is a thing that came
up in one of the episodes is Jay Balvin was
on and he said that he asked his team he
just newly started asking his team how happy are you today?

(01:01):
On a scale of one to ten. Yeah, It's like
an easy way to check in with people, right, Yeah,
So if I asked you that, Kelly today, how happy
are you on a scale at once to ten? Life?
And in real life, I'm I'm emotionally and emotionally I'm
like an eleven. Like I'm really really really good, like
physically and mentally, I'm like kind of like around a seven.

(01:22):
Because I've had, like you know, you have, like your
work schedule, it can be like this. Yeah, it's just
been like a crazy, crazy few weeks. But um, but
you're catching me right when I'm about to have a
couple of days off. So I'm excited about that you're happy,
But no, emotionally, like, I'm so great. And it's so
funny that he does that because I do this thing.
It's like my new thing now where I'm on vacation
all the time. I just like psych myself. I'm like

(01:43):
I'm on vacation. I just like you. So I showed
up here. This is like an excursion on my vacation,
so we no, but that's why I do with people
like I work with two. I'm like, I'm like, how's
vacation going? Like we've been we joke about it all
the time in like the glam room, like and with
the team and crew at the show because I'm like,
we gotta just imagine what I was on vacate because
we are we have a really cool job, you know

(02:04):
a job. Yeah, but like unetically eleven, I've never nobody
has given that in you know why though I've had
a really rough like couple of years. They've taken a
minute and like therapy to get there, like so, um,
what is the what is the number one main thing
that has gotten you through that? And two and eleven?
You do not have to attend an argument, like every

(02:28):
argument that comes your way, Like my my therapist is like,
you don't have to attend every time someone invites you
to an argument. And that's like you know, every time
somebody they play you and they try and say something,
I'm like, m and and I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna
I'm gonna not attend that. And I'm gonna I'm gonna
move on that'sd So that really helped me. Oh god,
well there's in work or in personal life. Um, like

(02:52):
you know, divorce is really hard, so you know, and
it's even though you love each other like intensely right
for a moment, it things get real crazy and divorce
and like you know, just kind of the worst versions
of yourself can kind of come out of people sometimes.
So and it's like no one's gonna win, Like you
know what I'm saying, nobody, nobody. It's just like this,

(03:14):
like nobody's gonna win. So it's just like, nah, I'm
not gonna attend this one. So I'm gonna let that go.
And it's like bickering arguing is that which I know,
just like any kind of because I feel like two
over two years and like even becoming a mother. I
don't know if you've experienced this like perspective and like
relevance of things, like it's just like why why do

(03:35):
we let some things blow up? And I think I
unfortunately have had a lot of people or too many
than I would like have passed away, like like our
age is younger, So I think it's very eye opening.
So I think I think that's it. It's just like, Okay,
I'm not gonna attend that today. You can. You can

(03:56):
be in that world all on your own, Kelly, I
am the same way I have stoled. Are you happy?
How happy are you? And once to tend, I am
going to steal. I am not going to attend that today. No.
I look, I got from so I'm unable to attend.
I literally I was. I was texting my therapist. I
am not a yeah rs no one, Um no, yeah,

(04:19):
I unsubscribe. That's another thing that my friends does on
the text exchanges, like a bunch of us would just
be like unsubscribed. Um no, it is. It's just because
I think you're not only helping yourself, but you're helping
that person because maybe that person just I think a
lot of people with trauma to like generational trauma. I

(04:39):
think a lot of us will just we don't know
how to live without it. We don't know how to
like exist without some kind of drama happening. Yeah are
you no? I mean no, no, oh god, I mean
maybe maybe I've been that when I was younger, right
when you're figuring stuff out, definitely like my twenties, like, um,
and I think it's I mean, I think a lot
of us fall prey to it. Generational trauma is a

(05:01):
thing like you know you can't yeah, you can't like
escape it sometimes. But I think those red flags that
that's that's that's why you have to do the work.
That's why you have to do the work to notice like, oh,
I'm not gonna go down there again. I'm not gonna
do that again. Yeah, what is the big work that
you had to do? Is we all have like a thing.
Mine was like, well, I have a few things. We
all have a few things. Yeah, we like trust is
a thing. Trust is like and on me burying, Like

(05:24):
if I tend to bury, like so if I'm instead
of dealing over here, I'll go and work hard on
this and oh, busy, busy bee. You know, I can't
tend to do that, which is looking away from things
or yeah, making excuses for people because I tend to
be like an empathetic person. So I always kind of say, oh,
that person's a dick, but probably because they went through

(05:45):
expect you justify I justify, yeah, and make excuses for people.
We are because what you just said is me we
are targets for narcissists. By the way. So yes, that
can be really difficult because they could be very charming,
very manipulative, and you work environments, relationships, whatever it is.
People kind of see that about I think, and I

(06:06):
think the work though that you said is the busy
bee thing. Like to come back on that is you
have sometimes sometimes you need that, like okay, like so
during the global pandemic and then also going through divorce,
like I was so grateful for being busy because like
that was a lot, like with kids not you know,
zoom school, and like divorce happening, and like trying to

(06:29):
literally it was our first season of the talk show
and we're trying to get it off the ground. It
was just a lot. And so I think being busy
sometimes it's very helpful. But then it was important like
this last summer, like I took off and I literally
probably pissed off so many people, but I was like,
I'm not doing a thing. I was like, I was
busy long enough. I gave myself enough, you know, grace

(06:51):
to just kind of okay, I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
I'm not ready. And then I knew I was going
to have space in this summer, and I knew my kids.
You know, we split my X and I. They three
weeks with him through me, three weeks him through is me.
And that's a long time to not have your babies.
But it actually ended up being very helpful for me
because it also gives you as a mom, You get
this having that me time. Yes, so like that me

(07:13):
time was transformative. Like I came back from vacation like refueled,
like ready to go. I felt like sometimes we was
running empty and then you have nothing to give people
and then you're depleted, and I feel I feel like
I was busy enough because it was very helpful to
be busy because there was a lot happening and just
getting dumped on. And then when you finally take that

(07:34):
time and then you deal with it, you know, you
do the work. And I did that in the summer,
you know, and I you figure stuff out, not just
about other people, by the way, about yourself, because even
you say in that like we have to change that,
but justifying people's actions. Oh yeah, I'm already changing that.
Yeah me too, says now me too. You want to
know why? You know what? You want to know what
I what I just went through that triggered that from Yeah, Um, okay,

(07:58):
so this is what I did. Was one of my
things I did because, like you, I grew up no father. Yeah,
my father disappeared when I was ten. Last time I
saw him was at my grandmother's funeral. His mom. I
was very close with her. She died. He was on drugs.
After she died, he kind of just disappeared. Years later,

(08:18):
I had heard that he died, which was not surprising
to me because he was a heroine attic, and I
thought that makes sense. I mean years later, like I
was older, like my thirties, I heard he died. I
was like, wow, that makes sense. But I never was angry.
I had never had anger. I never felt I always
felt bad for him. I always made these like yeah
he's troubled youth. Yeah, yeah, you know, I tried to

(08:38):
like I gave him grace. I gave him I made excuses.
What was the other words you used before I gave?
I made um, he just justified justified actions. I justified
the actions. Right. So then, um, about a couple of
years ago I found that he was in fact not dead.
What it was a couple of years ago, Yeah, I
found that he was not dead then about maybe maybe

(09:01):
eight months ago. I finally get around to like making
the call because I had been in a car accident.
My life was like crazy for a couple of years. COVID. Yeah,
I just didn't get to it, and I wasn't sure
if I wanted to open my life up. I have
a great life, I have a great family. I just
was like, I don't know. I finally do that and
the man is man is married. The wife doesn't even

(09:23):
know that he was once married to my mother for
one year. She did not know that I existed. She
did not know that he used to be a drug addict.
He's living a completely different life. Wow. I was not
interested in reconnecting. He was not now as a this
is what I find interesting. Like and with my father,

(09:43):
I was like this too. I was like I always
felt hard for him because I'm like, you're missing out
and how would you like you have a kid, I
have kids? Like you know what I'm saying, how do
you not want to be could you picture? No? I
cannot imagine. Yeah, not wanting to be a part of
your This is something Kelly Rowland and i' walked about
the other Kelly and she was like, you know, he's

(10:03):
She's like she thought about this when she reconnected with
her father, that maybe he just is not ready or
capable or doesn't want to go back to that place
wherever he is now, is not willing to go to
that place. So somebody like my father, who was a
drug addict, who didn't have all this past that he's
clearly hiding from, is not at his age willing to

(10:24):
I'm not saying this is not justifying, this is just understanding.
But then what that made me do was like, oh,
I've been justifying for this man my whole life. Um,
maybe he's not troubled and all deserving of all the
great Maybe he's just an asshole. Yeah you know. Then
it was like, yeah, then I started looking at everything
else going on. I'm like, that person's you know, not

(10:46):
in pain. That person's an asshole. And so I started
releasing a little bit of doing that. Does that make sense? Like,
it's so funny that you just said deserving, So Burne Brown,
I don't know if you follow it. Okay, I'm here,
I am. I'm escaping my shame. Um that's the girl
thing of shame and so um No, I love one

(11:07):
thing that she said that really stuck with me in
this interview that she did. I believed it was um,
but she said not everyone is deserving of your story,
not like and I was like At first, I was
just like what And then I started thinking about it
and I was like, oh, because sometimes I feel and
this is how I don't know, I'm not projecting, this
is how I feel in my world is and my
father passed away too. But it was like and actually,

(11:31):
I literally I literally was just asked like two days
ago by a friend, a really close friend, and their
parent just died and and or it is close to dying,
that's what it is, and it's their father, and and
you know, he was like, did you have regrets not
you know, reconciling like before you know, he passed away.
And I was like no, like and I don't. I

(11:52):
don't feel that loss either, because one you try, you know,
you try, and you try and you try and then
it and it just doesn't work out. And it's that's
where not everyone deserves your story. Not everyone deserves that opportunity,
you know what I'm saying, Like, because it's like you've
already given it, Like I've already given it several times.
And even my friend that I was talking to him,

(12:12):
like you've given like multiple opportunities for this French for
this you know, relationship to mend and everyone deserves a
great dad and everyone deserves that moment and that's why
we crave it. It's because you want that. You see
it with other people and you're like, oh, man, I
deserve that, Like why can't I have that? That's so cool?
But like not everyone gets that, and like and at

(12:36):
the end, for me, it was like, man, you hurt
me so much. Like it was just constant, like one
thing after the other. So it was like, it's okay
that you weren't ever prepared or ready to be my father.
But at the end of the day, it was like,
I don't you don't deserve this anymore because like because
I am worthy and I'm worthy of having someone that

(12:56):
deserves my story and deserves my time. And that's when
I really understood like what she was talking about or
how I filtered it. Shoot, I don't know if that's
how it was supposed to but yeah, but um, but
I don't know. It's crazy though, I feel like there's
a lot of us and like our generation was that
we were just fatherless. Like I don't know where they
all went, like some island. I don't know. I don't

(13:18):
think like literally, like literally this showed I just shot
in my show, like we just did a whole episode
and like literally there were like three people on the
couch going, oh yeah, I didn't grow up with the
father either. I'm like, how do we all not grow
up with a dad? Like I was like, this is
weird and we're all like eighty, you know, seventy to
eighties kids, And I was just like what, But I
don't know. I don't feel I feel like I don't
know if you agree, but I feel like when when

(13:40):
I was younger, I never I was like you. I
was like, oh yeah, I just didn't. That just wasn't happened.
I think it was whenever I had a kid. It's
when I got deeply sad about it because I was like, wait, how,
Like now I get it because I'm a parent. I'm like, WHOA,
Like how how in the world could you have not
cared about me? Like how you know what I'm saying,
because like I could, I'd never do that to my kid.

(14:01):
You know that that's true. But in the end, it's
sad for them. They miss out, Yeah, you know, like sure, yeah,
for sure, I totally agree that. What do you think
the things you know? Because the thing about family and
trauma and generation, like we carry that we carry what
happened to us, we carry actually what happened to our parents. Yeah. Right,

(14:23):
So how did it translate for you even in I
don't know, relationships trust all those things like what are
the what are the daddy issues for you that you
had to get? I think I don't know. I mean,
I think we were still always like working on it
because I think, I mean and I think, like I
don't know if that's a sad thing. I think before
I'd make a joke about it and I'd be like, yeah,

(14:44):
I just still have here working. But I but I
think that's okay because that's like whatever, it's a part
of our story. It's not our only story, but it's
a part of kind of who makes us who we are. UM,
But I think relationships can be difficult, especially like with
said problems, like how does that affect the relationship with men? Yeah.
I I just had this conversation with somebody else that

(15:07):
UM recently is getting divorced, and I was just like,
it's just hard and also like it's hard on the
other person because there's two sides, right and ever, and
those two sides come with their own level of generational trauma,
you know, the stuff going on, and it could be
hard to for trust, like you've mentioned that earlier, like
trust issues. That's that's hard when the person that's supposed

(15:30):
to love you most, you know what I'm saying, like
in your parents, Like when the people are supposed to
be there for you the most aren't, then obviously in
the back of your mind, like anyone is capable of
letting you down, Like you know what I'm saying. If
the one that's supposed to love you, you're their seed,
like you know what I'm saying, Like and like, so
I think you learn that as a young at a
young age. I think what's hard, And I don't know

(15:52):
if you agree. I think what's hard. The hardest thing
for me in relationships is and this is actually an
a lyric and a song. I just way your songs
are so good for these like they're so good for
these type of conversations. Well you're gonna love the next album?
Oh good, yeah, no, it's because of you. Was like, oh,
that's my life. So but it's so kelly. It's a

(16:15):
lot of people's lives. It's a lot of people's lives. Yeah,
it's about but it's so good you really cut into
like what that experience feels like. Yeah, well, and a
lot of it that I write, like some of it
is metaphorical and some of it is very literal. Um.
But like in this recent one and this is in
a yeah, it's in a song I just wrote. And
it's like for me, it's like, and let me know

(16:36):
what you think. Maybe I don't think I'm put it on.
I don't think I'm wrong, get it. I think in
a relationship, you know, any kind of relationship, friendship, love
or whatever. Family, it's like it's like I am aware
that I don't need you, but I want you. Like
is that Like it's very simple what I just said,

(16:57):
but can be very hard for people to swallow of
like like just so you know, like it's like, no,
I don't I'm not ever gonna need you, you know,
like if people need you to need them, and it's like,
I don't know, that's kind of that's kind of manipulative
to me, like to from you know, what I'm saying,
to push on me that I need you like I
want you. Doesn't that mean way more that I want

(17:20):
you in my life? But I don't need you because
I feel like if someone needs you to be in
their life, that's different from want and desire, Like that's
just like a necessity, you know what I'm saying. Like
people women back in the day, especially generation like like
my mom like whenever, like a lot of moms back
in the day, like they needed like another income, they
needed another income, Like you know a lot of times

(17:40):
people need another income. So you get married. There's different
reasons for why you do things. But as like, man,
doesn't it mean the world to you, like to say
like I want you like I choose you. I don't
need you like I want you here Like not everybody's
ready for that conversation. They're not yeah not the guy
for you that yeah probably or not the friendship for me,

(18:01):
you know what I'm saying. Like it's like it's just
if that's not I think that's my thing with the
relationships in general, like across the board, Like it's like
if you can't accept that, like that's how that's how
I am, and I'm probably because of how I grew
up but it's like I think that that is a
deeper love, for sure. I think that's a deeper level
of friendship, a deeper level of trust, a deeper level

(18:22):
of all of it. Is like that I don't you
can't need me to need you. That's never gonna happen,
But I want you. I explored this a little bit
in my first episode of this podcast about um relationships
being based in an egot. Most relationships are rooted an ego,
like possession of each other. What you do for me,

(18:43):
what I expect you to do for me. I don't know,
Just wondering what you make of that or think about that. Man,
I think ego is just it's such a problem. It's
okay to have UM because I guess it's dependent upon
your or true like whatever you really believe ego because
not ego isn't bad. You want to have pride in yourself,

(19:04):
You want to confidence, You want to have confidence, you
want to have the right amount, right, I guess, But like, boy,
it can really get in the way of progress. I
feel like, you know, of trying to work on something,
because sometimes you just gotta strip yourself down and be
like look, okay, like let's let's work on those Let's
do this, whether it's a friendship, relationship, whatever, it's like,

(19:24):
let's let's get in here, let's do this. But if
that person is not willing to, let you know, to
pull their ego, their pride, all of that aside and
just be like all right, ground zero, let's do it
like it's not gonna work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, No,
I totally get that. Yeah, I just think I don't
think ego in terms of like I have an ego.
I think in terms of, like I don't know the

(19:45):
notion of like does it serve me? How do you
serve me? Just because we we want to possess people
like refs. If you love somebody, even your kids, right,
I love you so much. I don't want to know.
I don't want you to leave. I don't know if
I do. If I think that, yeah, I'm not saying
everybody does, but it is something for people to look at. No,
because for me, like how I grew up, I'm I'm

(20:08):
kind of opposite of that, and I've had opposite experience
and relationships where people are like, oh, you're mind like
if you're dating that, you're with me, and I'm like
ooh that that that doesn't sit well with me, Like
I'm like your mind. The guy says that, yeah, yeah,
I'm like, uh no, yeah, it just possession becomes I
don't know, you possess products, you product, you possess things.

(20:30):
You know, people are once again, it's a choice, you
know what I'm saying, Like you choose to be a
part of it. And like even when my kids like
and we've had this conversation like because you know you're
someone off to college, and it was like that's crazy.
I know that. I look, I'm not excited about it.
My kids are only six and eight and I'm already
not excited about it. But I am. I think I
am my mother's child, and I'm raising very independent children.

(20:52):
They will be out the door as soon as they
are able and capable. Like they're very independent, and I
was the same way. Okay, when that moment happens, I
will be because I feel like one, I mean, I
know you well enough by now, just in our short conversations,
like like you've raised a young man. You know what
I'm saying, You've raised someone, and I feel like that
by that point I will have raised someone that I'm

(21:15):
if I'm doing my job, like I feel like I
trust you. I trust the decisions you're gonna make. I
trust what's gonna happen, like I feel like if you don't.
And I'm from the South, so this might be different you.
But men in the South will be like, you know,
they'll trust their sons to do anything. They always go out.
They don't, they have a later curfew they have, you know,

(21:36):
they if they're dating someone's not a deal. But with girls,
like a lot of times the guys, the fathers will
be like, oh no, you're not dating until you're like thirty, right,
And I'm like, what the hell is? And I guess
I don't like that because it's like you don't trust
your daughter, then that's on you. You didn't raise a
girl to have enough confidence to stand up herself, or
you didn't teach her. Like, I'm gonna trust that my

(21:58):
daughter and my son will make smart decisions like you know,
and if they don't, you deal with it. Life happens.
But like that bothers me. What is the thing that
you well, I mean, we all, I think we all
hope to raise our kids well, but you know we
missed them when they got But in raising our kids,
what are your things that you have to make sure
that they know what you led with Like when you

(22:20):
were saying Jay Bob, I'm like, I literally asked my
kids every night when we're snuggling and I put in bed,
I'm like, are you happy? And like if you're not, like,
what could make you happy? No? That's it that they
always say yes. No. Like sometimes they'll say, especially like
past two years, like a lot of it and it
kills me. But they'll and I want them to be honest,
so I don't ever say, oh God, I don't tell

(22:42):
me that you know, um, but a lot of times
it would be like, you know, I'm just really sad.
You know. I wish mommy and daddy were in the
same house. I wish, And they're really honest about it.
And that's and I'm raising that kind of individual. I
want you to be honest with me. And I just
sit there and I'm like, yeah, I get it. I'm
from a divorced family as well. I get it. That's
that sucks. You know, we're gonna work it out and
you are so loved by both of us. And I

(23:03):
go through this conversation, I think I think communicating with
them and not treating them, you know, not not treating
like an adult because they're not, but not treating them
like a child that they're they're you know, they're not
small feelings. Those are huge feelings. Those are huge emotions.
And so I think that's my thing. I always ask
them every night, are you happy? I was like, it's

(23:24):
super simple, but I'm gonna ask my kids later are
they happy? Yeah? It's like I don't ask them, well
I do. I do ask them that maybe in different ways. Yeah,
But there's things like I always want my like, honesty
is a big thing for me. I don't like my
kids that not only you shouldn't lie, it's a bad characterist,
but like you shouldn't feel like you have to. You
should feel then why you're doing it? Yeah? Yeah, what

(23:47):
do you get out of that? Yeah? What do you
cover it? Like? Why do so? I like, honesty is
lying is the worst lying. It's just it's exhausting as well.
It's just like it's it's it's exhausting. It's a trigger
for me, but oh my god, for all of us. Right,
it's just like, oh my god, it's gonna come out.
I always want my kids to make good decisions about

(24:08):
the people that they surround themselves. Yeah, especially I have
one ones in high school and one just left to college.
Well last year, you remember the momentum, but like when
they're going out on their own, and I feel like
this is not something they tell us growing up enough,
Like especially, well, you've been through heartbreak and heartache and
all those things. I don't know me growing up my
first heartbreak, I was like, why did nobody tell me

(24:32):
how awful this is? I felt blindsided by the fact
that somebody could hurt you because you made a bad
You picked the bad person. Yeah, not that you can't
get hurt by a good person. But the people you choose,
your friends, your relationships, you know they matter, it counts.
You can literally like ruin your life. So make good

(24:55):
choices in your friends, make good choices in the people
that you decide you date or you want to leave
in your life. Because people can hurt you if you
allow them to. I don't know that I understood that,
and it took me. I had to get my ass
knocked down a couple of times. Yeah, to realize, Oh,
let me be a little tighter with this, I think probably,
Why is it we're very similar, Like even whenever you
were talking a minute ago about like you justify, like

(25:16):
sometimes it's hard, and we're working on like not justifying
people's actions, not letting narcissists take hold of you, and
not letting manipulation happen, because I'm that type of person.
Like literally I heard in church like as a kid,
like you know, put yourself in someone else's shoes, you
never know what they're going through, like and I took
that and just held on tight and was like, okay,
So someone would do something real shitty to me, and

(25:40):
I'd be like, Okay, I'm gonna take my shoes off,
theirs on and be like why did that happen? Like
you know, and I would really try and see it
from their vantage point. And I have enough friends I
think over the year, especially this one back Charatrisha, she
is like, you need to stop doing that because sometimes
people are undeserving of that moment at this time. And

(26:01):
it's not that necessarily they're a bad person, they're just
not where you are. Well, my friend said this to
me too when I was I was explaining to one
of my friends about this like shift in me after
that thing happened with my father where I was like, oh,
I'm not going to be like that with people anymore.
They were like, no, don't do that. That's actually a
great characteristic, that's not the problem. It's literally what my friend,
they're a good friend. You're a good friend. That's like

(26:22):
she's like, don't change you. Wait, my friend was a
good friend too. He told me, you're not doing that wrong.
That's right what you're doing. You just have to decide
what is okay and not okay for you. It's okay
to give people that grace of like, oh man, that's
why they're that way. But what you don't do is
look away. You decide what works for you and doesn't

(26:43):
work for you. Doesn't mean that you can have compassion,
you can have empathy, you can understand what people doesn't
mean you, doesn't mean they're allowed on that typand it
doesn't mean you have to let it be part of
your life. That was helpful to me because it was
like okay, because it's also a beautiful thing that, like God,
we wish society would learn a lot of times. Empathy.
I mean, that's a huge thing that I hope we're

(27:03):
all teaching our children how did you. Um, I mean
we're talking about heartbreak and stuff, but um, what does
divorce do to you? Like? How does this shift you?
What it has to shift you? Right? Well, you know
what's interesting is I think we grow up especially I
can only speak from like where I grew up in
like the South where I am Like basically I started
dating some more like thirty, I was like dead like

(27:25):
people people are like, you're not married with four kids yet,
Like I was like an old maid like where I'm from. Yeah,
at thirty with like no prospects or something like it's
like Jane Austen times. But for me, I never I
think I felt that pressure, like you know what I'm saying, Like,
I'm like, oh, I guess yeah. All my friends, like
a lot of my friends have babies, like all of
my and I felt that pressure and then and then

(27:46):
you do, Like I find it's so funny. I was
just talking about I'm literally listening to my new record
and it's being mastered and a lot of it obviously
is about the last two years and and it's basically
this arc. And I was just listening to the whole
record and it's like there's there's the magical moment too.
You know, there's that whole thing, and that's what I
fell in love like a thirty and you fall in
love and deeply like every part of me, like every

(28:10):
ounce to me, like on a level of like whoa
want to ripper close off that kind of love And
that's a good kind of love. That's what you want,
right and and so I fell in love like that
and that and so it shows kind of that and
then it goes this whole journey and and it it
rips you apart. You know, whenever you you fall in
love with someone and it doesn't work, and when do

(28:32):
you know when is the moment? You know, when do
you know it's not working? I mean, I think I
think the thing about divorce that you know, especially having
it public size, like it's just you know, and people
thinking they know the whole thing. The hardest part of
that is like it wasn't an overnight decision like anyone
that's been divorced, like that was years and like you know,

(28:53):
trying to trying to make you know, not make it
work because I don't want it. I never wanted to
be partisan make it work. I wanted to make it beautiful.
I wanted to make it awesome. I wanted to make
it everything it possibly could be, and and sometimes that
just doesn't happen. And for whatever reason. And the point

(29:14):
that I finally was like whoa, I was like, I gotta,
I gotta, I gotta do something different for me is
I literally I remember I remember reading this book. It's
called Untamed, and a friend had given it to No,
it wasn't my therapist. My therapist give it to me.
And she was actually our marriage counselor so you stole

(29:34):
the marriage. I actually kept her. But yeah, because it
was helpful. It was helpful, Like so I think anything
that's helping you you should keep in your life. But
but she had turned me on to um Glenn and Doyle,
and so did I think my nanny she had told
me about Glenn and Doyle. And and then there was
a book called Name Tame and I read it and
I was reading it and it was like, literally she

(29:55):
was talking about her life and she was talking about
she goes, you know what. It was the hardest thing
for me to do. But I looked at my daughter.
I looked at her and I thought, would I want
this marriage for my daughter? Would I want would I
want my daughter to be in this position? Like is
this what I want for her? Like what I want
this for her? Then why would I Like no, I

(30:17):
don't so, like why would I want it for me?
You know what I'm saying. So it just kind of
changed the perspective on it. But it's a difficult thing,
like right, like you have kids, and everybody thinks about
that when you have kids. You know, it's like, oh,
I don't want to split my kids. I don't want to.
I don't know, I don't want to do that to them,
especially if I'm a child of divorce, you know, you

(30:37):
have a family exactly, you don't want. Nobody wants to
do that, so you know, it happens, unfortunately, and it's
one of those things that that's also that's a constant,
like working one thing after the aftermath of course, because
then there's all types of I mean, I've never been
legally married, I've been in long relationships, yeah, but but

(30:57):
there's still the aftermath after that. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah,
of that, and then all the like you go through
the phases, the phases of it like that. By the way,
every phase is on my next record. Yeah, there is sadness.
There is rage. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot.
It's because you go through all those emotions like you
because there's no and I feel like if you don't,

(31:19):
if you don't hit all of those and if you
don't have that, then were you really in it? Like
you know what I'm saying, Like like like I sometimes
I run across people and they're like, oh, I felt
like you know fine, And I was just like wait
what I was like I was destroyed, like on the ground,
like crying, like it's because that's that's a loss, that's

(31:42):
a it's a death. Honestly, you grieve something that you
thought would be forever. But you have never been in
one of those relationships. I have been where oh you're
not all the way in where you're like oh when
you get out, you're like, oh I feel better now. No. No,
that's what tripped me up. So I'd never been in
love before being married, like I'd never I had never

(32:03):
experienced that kind of love like before like he was
like my first like fall in love. Oh yeah, So
that that was really and I mean honestly, even when
you can't stand the person, sometimes you still there's still
always I mean, in my circumstance, I don't know that,
because my kids asked me another time, They're like, so
you don't love him anymore? And I'm like no, I

(32:25):
was like, I don't. I don't know if that goes away,
you know what I'm saying, Like to because you've truly
known someone on an intimate level, you know, even if
you're not happy with decisions that were made with you
or whatever, or maybe things they did, there's a level
of understanding or justifying or whatever you want to call
it that you can't escape because you were, you know, madly,

(32:46):
deeply in love with this personnected to them. Yeah, so
I don't know. I think you might always be connected
in some say, well, obviously we're connected. We have children
together too. But but but I don't want to. I
guess my thing is is I've I'm not the person
to be like, oh, well you know, oh it never
had or nothing like that. No, it was beautiful for
a minute, you know what I'm saying. It was awesome

(33:08):
for a minute and then and that's okay, it just
didn't work out. What do you think, because God, I'd
imagine even watching this right now, the amount of women
who are in the trenches of that, Like he's sitting
here and you're fine now and you're at an eleven
in your happiness and that took years, know that, I'm saying, Yeah,
so I can imagine somebody might even be watching us
now and like in the trenches of that, Like what

(33:30):
do you say to that person? What is the well? Okay?
So I had this interesting conversation when I was in
New York and I one of the interviews I did
was with Hillary and Chelsea Clinton. And it was interesting
because they did this show called Gutsy and this lady
just flat out asked Hillary like, man, so you stayed
and like just went there in the interview with her,
and I was like, man, I was like, was that?

(33:51):
And I started having this conversation with Hillary and it
was interesting because you know, everybody has their own I
know nothing about your relationship with who you're with, you
know what I'm saying, Like people can see from the outside,
but if you're not in the relationship, you don't know it.
So like, sometimes what I did is not the answer,

(34:11):
you know, for everyone. That was the answer for me.
But you know, it's interesting because Hillary was talking about
how mine was stay like that was that was my
that was what I needed, that's what I knew it
was right for me. And I found that very powerful
because I think we can all be very judgy on
like if somebody is especially for her Mike, Yeah, yeah,

(34:32):
a lot of people though, even even people we know
in our lives that aren't you know, yes, that was
probably horrible because it was in the public eye. But
I just mean even even people like in our lives
that aren't in the public eye, Like a lot of
people would be quick to judge because it's a real
easy to do from the peanut gallery, you know. But
it's just like what I did in my life. I
don't think everybody like having a hard time in their

(34:53):
marriage right now should get divorced. I think that's not
the first thing you should do. I didn't mean then
in terms of like what people should do in their marriage.
I'm just saying, what do you do picking yourself up
off the floor when you're off the floor crying or
you're in the trenches of her and disappointment, all the
things that when you said you were on the floor,
and like, what is the thing that picks you up?
What is the thing that that's we're coming back to

(35:16):
who you surround yourself with. So, I mean, I I
do not think that I would have made it out
of that without first of all, my therapist. I'll be real, Like,
I mean, she gave me tools that I did not know,
like even little sayings like I just told you of
like not attending every argument or not trying to fix
everything or not you know, being okay with like my kids.

(35:36):
I think what I saw with my parents' vorce, Like
I just like I don't want to do that with
my kids. Like so I never let them see me
cry and never let them you know, I was very
adamant about just keeping it real polished, and you know,
and she even the advice from her like and they're
trained professionals that give you tools to like navigate hard situations, right,
So and it it really tell you about that she

(36:00):
told me. Yeah, she told me, like it's okay to
let allow your kids to express empathy towards you. It's
okay for your kids to see you have a hard time.
It's better for your kids to see you honestly, like
and not that I like, I don't cry out time
from it. But you know, there were a couple of
times when you know, I'd be in my room and

(36:21):
they would just see my face and my daughter would
be like, oh, what's going on? And I'm like, well,
today was a hard one, you know, and she'd be like,
oh man, she was like, so is it do you know?
She'd flat out asked me already missed dad? I was like,
of course I do. It was like you missed Daddy too,
And we'd have conversations and and you know, not not
anything that she shouldn't have been talked to about, but like,

(36:42):
but you know, just being honest with her about how
I was feeling. And that took time for me. And
that's a lot of work because that's really hard for
me to do because some of that can be triggering
from like oh I wish I hadn't seen some of
the stuff when I was kids, so I have to
like navigate what I feel like it's appropriate or inappropriate.
So but I would not have gotten through that without
and honestly, uh, my therapist, my friends and family and music.

(37:07):
I know that sounds very cliches and artists and sounds
very type of artists that you are, but that's like
if I if I didn't have the outlet. I didn't
even know if I was going to release an album
because I was like, I don't know if I want
to talk about this, you know what I'm saying, Like
you you write it all out and you get it
allut and it's all there, and it's like then it
took me a minute. I was like, you know, and

(37:28):
I wrote most of them like two years ago, but
it's like I needed that I wrote so much. Like
whatever your art form is, or however you express yourself,
whatever your outlet is, like, that's what that was for
it out, getting it out, and I'm oh, I can't.
I don't know how people go through something devastated, any
kind of loss or grieving process without that having some

(37:49):
kind of outlet. And that was really helpful for me.
So therapy, um, an outlet, music or whatever. You have
friends and family, man, lying on those people you surrounded
That why it's important, Like who do you surround yourself with?
Are those people you want to be? Like, you know,
are those people that you look up to, you admire
they should be you know? So why are you holding space?

(38:10):
Yeah around right? Yeah? Why are you taking why are
you living rent free here? Like yeah, how old are
kids six and eight? Oh god, they're so smart. It's
such good questions. Well, it's more my eldest she's going
to be a talk Yeah, no, she's she very well.
It's so funny too, because I think kids, man, they

(38:32):
they and you know this. They will read into say,
they pick up they see. It's pretty great band a parent.
I love being a parent. I feel like it's hard,
but I love it. It is hard. What do you
think hard? What has been the hardest thing for you?
Just constantly trying to be the best version of myself? Right,
Like I mean because we all chirp up, we all
have tired days, we all get short tempered, we all

(38:53):
you know what I'm saying. Like, so it's like it's
just trying to be the best version of yourself. They
because they will hold you accountable. I'll be like, wait
a minute, but remember and I'm like, don't no, that
never happened. But I yeah, it's that. I think. I
think that's it man, Just really trying to be which
is awesome because it also makes you better human. I

(39:14):
think if you're doing it right, Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
I keep thinking about you saying that you're in eleven
eleven is a fucking good number. It's great number. Is
that like all the time or is that just today? No?
I think honestly, I'll be real with you, it was
like a four before I went on vacation so recently,
because like I said, I just kept busy, kept busy,

(39:35):
kept busy. I was, I was shutting off. I was like,
I can't because I knew. You ever see that Friends
episode where Bruce willis like Jennifer Andersson finally gets him
to cry. She's like, it's so weird he doesn't cry,
and then all of a sudden, he just like cries
all the time. Like I was like, I was like,
if I let if I even open creak this door,
like if there's just a tiny bit of space, it's

(39:55):
just gonna come gushing out because you know all those things,
it's something that matters to you and something that is
so you're so deeply affected by, and I'm so emotional
in general, like it. Yeah, I was like I can't.
I gotta hold back, I gotta smile, I gotta do
my work, I gotta be busy. And then I was
not well and then I took that time. I knew

(40:16):
I needed it. My kids needed it, So I said,
note everything. It was like, I don't two and a
half months three months of like me just literally in
the mountains, four wheeling just then that helped you. Yeah,
brought your back. Yeah well yeah, good for you. It's
hard to figure that out sometimes for people because someone
as you need to credit that space to figure it out.
Yeah yeah, and to see things to have clarity. I

(40:37):
think for sure. Yeah, I knew I was gonna like
this this, but this comes. Yeah, I knew it. I came.
I was telling her. I was like, I'm so excited
to do this. So like, no, because I just love
a real conversation. Thanks, yeah, thank you, me too. I
appreciate it. We're so excited. Where are you? Where are
you right now? Uh? Where are you with love now? Like?

(41:00):
What is a level of the things that you care
about in life, like in terms of its importance in
your life and as in a relationship kind of that
kind of love. Yes, So I I grew up where
it's like, you know, you're supposed to graduate high school,
you find someone you love, have kids, get a job,
and there's nothing wrong with that. Like, I think that's beautiful.
I think it's awesome. I always knew it I was

(41:24):
not going to have I'm just more of a gypsy.
I just knew I wasn't going to have a normal
like whatever normal was where I grew up, I knew
it didn't fit for me. I did fall in love
more shocking than me. My mother was still shocked, but
like yo, like everyone was shocked, like so I did.
Though I fell in love. I did it. I fell
in love so deeply I experienced that. I feel so

(41:48):
much gratitude for that, having had felt that. You know,
not everybody gets to feel that in a life. And
and I but I really do, like truly love being single,
Like I yes, I do, Like I know it's so weird,
but I love a part about okay, like plans changing,

(42:10):
like you know what I'm saying, Like like like, okay,
we were supposed to do something else this one week
and coming up, and then all of a sudden, I
was like, you know what, that didn't feel right. I
was like something wasn't ready. I was like, let's just
go do something else. And I'm very I'm very spontaneous.
I like that, and I'm very much a gypsy. I mean,
my god, I've been on the road and I was nineteen,
like I'm there's a reason for it, like I enjoy it,

(42:30):
like a lot of people crave stability, but a lot
of people's stability is that spontaneity. And I like that.
And I'd like my bed, I like my routine. I
like like, I think it's awesome. And maybe one day
I'm not like saying I'm I'm against it, I won't
be getting married, but like forever, No, you've heard it here,

(42:54):
like don't play this back. Yeah, I'm just saying to
think about it. No, it's just because I don't and
I even you can ask my ex like I never,
I was never. I feel like you, I feel like
that that has been like in my life. You know,
I've been through a couple divorces my own family, like
as a as a kid. And it's like, to me,

(43:15):
you can be in love. I would I would love
to fall in love, like I would love to find
someone and fall in love and do that thing. But
I I have children. And that's why I say it's
not that I'm like against marriage. I'm saying I have children.
I didn't have the most positive experience with step situations
and like remarrying and I didn't have the most positive

(43:37):
situation degree up. I will not do that to my children.
And so I that's what I mean. It's not so
much because I'm like against marriage. I'm just like I love.
I would love to fall in love, but I don't.
I don't want like another dude or in my house
with my children. I just think sometimes I just think

(43:58):
it didn't work out whenever I was young, not to
say that wouldn't work out, but I just think it's
okay just to fall in love. And I love my children.
I love my time with them. I love my work.
I love my dogs more than most humans. I love,
I love my life. I'm so happy. I said, I'm
a loving emotionally like I I love my life right now.
It took a minute, it took some work, and I

(44:20):
got it and I got it back and and I
no longer have those like preconceived things that you know,
society tells you have to do in order to like
whatever grew up like especially from the South, like I
just I don't have that, Like I'm happy really yeah,
there's a freet a minute and and and I don't
I don't want someone, yeah, like in my house around
my kid I'm not I'm not down with that. So,

(44:41):
but I would love to fall in love. YEA love
is beautiful like I've experienced love. So that's I love passion.
I love love. I love fear about it. I don't
really have I don't think I have fear about it.
I just realized, like I have this one. I have
this whole song called Red Flag Collector on my next
next album because I refuse to be that anymore. UM

(45:04):
can break this down for me. This is so red
flag clagers. Like basically it's like, oh, I'm just over
here collecting red flags, like like why and I just
refuse to do that. So I think I've been better
about like treasure, I've been better about about about seeing it,
you know and being like, oh that's not good. So no, okay,
so you see a red like what's a red flag?
I'm trying to think what's my red flag? Someone being

(45:25):
like manipulative in a conversation and I'm like, yeah, I
don't like that, and I'm like okay, no, I'm goody.
That's like it's like you didn't need to do that.
Let's bust some down because people probably need to know
some of the red flags that's a good one. Yeah,
you probably have a bunch of manipulation is a yeah, animulation. Yeah,
I for a red flag for me sometimes is if
um liar A liar is a huge red flag. Yeah.

(45:49):
Also a red flag for me is somebody who has
way too many friends and they were all his best
his best friends. I feel like when some a red
flag can also be if they have no for if
they have no friends yea, also saying that's also a
red flag. Also to be a red flag. But sometimes
if somebody's friends with everybody, Yeah, I feel like, how
can you be a real friend to anybody if you're

(46:12):
you know what I'm saying, Like I could be friends
avery of course I feel like you only have really
room for like a few people on that kind of levels,
is what I'm saying. Yeah, you like you need too
many for then that's a networker red flag for me. Yeah,
it's a red flag that should be a red flag
for all of us. Flag Yeah. Um else that might

(46:34):
be a ladder climber as well. Yeah for sure, Yeah,
yeah that's definitely but again, no friends also a problem. Yep.
Also not a good thing. Yeah, you know, it's a
red flag for me. Because I hated this. I don't
like this in man m complainers like chronic complainers. Yeah,
somebody that could be many and women, but somebody who

(46:57):
always finds like the negative, Like I could be like,
you have seven amazing things going on in your life,
why are you yep? Why is this the thing? And
if you see that a couple of times, that should
be a flag because that means that person likes being
in that state. Yeah, it's not just something, That's what
I'm saying. Some people with that generational they don't even
know how to exist without it. Yes, they don't know
how well you got to watch for those flags because

(47:18):
otherwise than you're in a relationship, they aren't. Maybe these
are good. I don't like like any kind of this
is for people I work with, people in relationships, frendship, family,
I do. I insecure people who red flag and not
only a red flag just exhausting as hell. It's like,

(47:42):
oh my god, I don't have time to do all
these things plus be your daily cheerleader, like I can't.
I can't do that. That's not fair. To be supportive
is one thing you know of friendships or people, but
like to have to like every day be like you're amazing.
It's like, WHOA, I feel like you maybe a younger
you might have been a little too susceptible to that,

(48:05):
Like as you're so friendly and warm and you talk
to me, probably a good You're a good ear, so
I feel like you might have been open to people
taking advantage of that. Is that good assessment your friends?
Because I have a friend, one of my good friends,
she's like one of my favorite people because she cares
so deeply about everybody. She'll help everybody out of a crisis,
and she'll um and she's just she stay on the

(48:28):
phone all this person's going. She's just a good friend,
like a really just good friend. Sometimes like you're a
better friend than me, Like I'm not getting up at
three in the morning and going because you're like, you know,
she's just a good friend. And I always had to
tell her like it's really a beautiful thing about you.
But also be really careful because then you're also a
magnet to people who need a lot all the time.

(48:51):
And then you're drained. She's nothing. You're drained because you're
you gave everything you got to everybody, to everybody else,
and people who love you shouldn't want you shouldn't want
to do that to you. I know. It's also it's
it's about I guess the people we attract and the
people we allow in. Yes, right, so exactly, still working

(49:11):
on that. The same thing, you're too needy if you're
like insecured. I say that to say, be aware of
like even friends, not just relationships. No, that's I mean,
like I'm staying across the board. But first of all,
I'm also just getting too old. Like I'm just like, look,
I get it, like I'm not I'm not even mad
at you about it. Like I'm just like I like
I don't have like I'm taking care of two humans.

(49:33):
I'm you know, I'm living my life. I'm trying to
do my best at what I do in my life.
I'm like I can be there a bit, but I can't.
That That's the thing I will say to another thing
that I learned and therapy was like one day she
was like, hey, why don't you try and treat yourself
how you treat everybody else? And I was like, why
are you coming at me with that? Like like don't

(49:55):
you come in here with honesty? Like so, and it's
a hard thing when you know you I have always
been I'm a I was a total people pleaser. I'm
still a people pleaser, you know. It's just I have
to watch myself and be like, yeah, wait, I can't
do that. Isn't that a great moment when you when
you come to that realization. Somebody said that to me.
There was a therapist actually two years ago. I was

(50:17):
going through something and I was like, this thing, I
can't get out of it. I can't get out of
this relationship. And if I do, he's gonna fall apart.
This is gonna fall apart. That's gonna fall apart. And
she thought, and she said to me, She's like, you
keep talking about everybody else. She's like, why is would
everybody else, how everybody else is going to be affected
more important than how you are being affected? Why? Why?

(50:37):
She said, I'm not telling you to care about yourself
more than everybody, which would be great. I just want
you to at least put yourself on it in the mix,
equal like the man, about yourself as much as you
care about yea. And something about that was like, but
it's funny though, because it's simple, right, But it's a
real thing. For a time, it's like I was like, like,
especially growing up in church, like it's never about you.

(50:59):
It's always about others, Like it's always about yeah, I know,
but that's how I was raised. Like so it's just
like you're raised like it's never about you or even
any you know, any time you win something or anything,
and that's not you, that's God. And I'm like, that's beautiful.
I love that that it is something bigger than me.
I love that mentality. But at the same time, if

(51:19):
we're always out of here thinking about everybody else, like
it's like, at some point you do need to think
about yourself. And here's the thing too, why at some point,
I know I know it all the time you should.
But but if you're in that bad you know, that
habitual pattern of doing that, like, at some point you
gotta get out of that. They gotta break that cycle.
And and for me, breaking that cycle was my children,
Like I am a way better parent when I take

(51:42):
care of myself as well, like the oxygen mask mentality, right,
and and you know you do have to take care
of yourself in order for that to like trickle down, right, sure,
And so I think that's the thing we goo will
run ourselves ragged, like trying to please, please, please, do please,
and then you're on empty. I did, like, you have
a friend like that? And I have a friend too.
I won't say his name just in case you don't

(52:02):
want me names, but but I have a friend and
I do I ask him all the time. I'm just like, so,
when do you like do something for yourself? Because he
is because I'm almost like, are you afraid to be still? Like,
are you afraid to not do for others? Are you?
What are you because it kind of seems like you're
always doing for everyone else? What does that mean? Like
why aren't you like is there something you're running from?

(52:23):
And he was like, oh, he was like, why are
you saying? I was like, because it kind of seems
that way. You're always, I mean literally a person that
would give the shirt off his back, like always helpful,
always there, Like you got to make sure you're those
people are deserving and would do the same for you,
you know, put yourself somewhere somewhere in that equation. Yeah,

(52:44):
what do you think your overall? Like, I mean, you
have so many sphases of your life. Your career has
been amazing. You're clearly a great, mom, What do you
think in this grand scheme of it, like your purpose
here is have you thought about that? I'm sure and
all that therapy it's sad to have come up. Yeah, well,
you know it's interesting. I don't know if you feel this,
but like I feel like you know, from you know,

(53:05):
ever since I was young, I knew my purpose was music.
I didn't think I would ever be like a lead
singer like where I am right now. My goal was
honestly to be a background singer because I liked a
lot of different styles of music. Yeah, and I wanted
to just be able to sing with all these different artists,
you know, and be able to kind of, you know,
dip my toe into different genres. I love that. It
took a minute, but I ended up getting to do
that with my career. But I always thought my purpose, yeah,

(53:29):
was was music. Music, and I thought it was singing
and I thought that was how I would and I
think it is a bit of my purpose. But I
will say I never I always say like the talk
show was like a dream I didn't know existed, and
even as a mom, like purpose wise, like I feel
like I've been given these two little gifts that I

(53:51):
get to like help try and mold and become the
best versions of themselves. And and all the friendships that
come into your life and you feel like you know
you can learn from and maybe help them too. But
I feel like there's not one. Like I feel like
we always think like we have one purpose, So I
feel like all of those are purpose. And I feel

(54:12):
like we always think like in terms of like it's
this one thing, and it's not like our purpose is
to keep growing and to become the best version of ourselves.
And I am one of those people that loves working,
like I love doing it work. I know, I love it.
I'll read any book you give me like I love it.

(54:32):
I think it's I just think it's intriguing. Not that
I feel like I'm lacking anything. I just think like
it's it's intriguing to know, like what has helped somebody
else and what my you know, a little tidbit I
might take and that might help me on my way.
Like I don't know if there's one purpose. I guess
I think I have a lot of purpose. That's probably
actually a better way to live, because you know, sometimes

(54:53):
we put all our purpose or we think our purpose
is this one thing, and like, and then what if
it goes away and something knocked your ass down? Yeah?
Stop that? And then what you have no purpose because
people are like, oh, what if you lost your voice?
I go, well, I guess I do something else, Like yeah,
I mean you know, I you know, I love singing.
I love that it's my outlet. I love talking. Obviously
y'all can tell you're gonna have to edit this down.
But but but I just I love the fact that

(55:16):
you came from your talk show and then came here
is really fast. And I'm say I have two shows too,
and I all week long, like I've been to a show, Like,
but I love talking. I love it, And so I
don't know it. I don't, I don't everything. Like I'm
not just a singer, I'm not just to talk to.
I'm not just I'm many things. And I think that
people should not because I know you have friends like
this in the industry where all of a sudden their

(55:37):
career isn't what it was and they have like a
full on identity crisis and you're like, oh my god,
like how sad? Like why do you feel like this
is your this is not your one? This is your
more than this one thing, like and you see it
but they can't. Yeah, and it's like, I'm not gonna
end up like that. Yeah. A lot of that happens

(55:58):
too as we get older, because you're you know, your
career goals and ways, even even if you're super successful, Yeah,
you're gonna it's just gonna. So as you get older,
that happens a lot. But also aged, especially for women,
um sometimes sends people in a like their start unrattling,
sometimes the career is not going well, or sometimes just

(56:18):
the aging of it all I know, isn't it interesting? Though?
Like I've had this conversation with a couple of people
in the industry, and I'm just like, it's okay that,
like everyone's career has a not an end, but like
just kind of like fades, it fadesca. But you know why,

(56:39):
it's because then while that's happening with you, someone else
is killing it and it's their moment, you know what
I'm saying, Like, why is that not okay? Like you
know what I'm saying, Like, and do you know how
many people would have killed to have had what you
had in that moment? Yeah? You know, Like it's like
why yeah, but sometimes people become addicted to that moment,
That's what I'm saying. But I think they become an

(57:00):
addicted to it because they that's their identity. It's like
they derive their like validation and like who they are,
and it's like whoa No, Like I think that I
love what I do, Like I don't think I know.
I love what I do. I love that I'm that
I'm blessed and I'm able to do things. But that's
not like who I am at my core, you know,

(57:21):
like that's my family, that's my friends, as my kids,
that's my dogs. Once again, I love my dogs. I do. Um,
they woke me up this way. They're my alarm clock.
The one was like right here in my arm. One
was like my face looking at me. Um. But like,
I don't know, I just think we are more than that.
And I think I don't know about you, but I
feel like whatever belief people have and like why we're

(57:43):
here or whatever, I do think that you have to
think that you're a part of something that's bigger than
just you, and really stepping outside that ego and that
like yourself is really helpful. It's freeing because you don't
put so much pressure on yourself. Yeah, and then you
want to look at people and be like you're not
that important, Like you know what I'm saying, Like not

(58:04):
to be a jerk about it, but it's like we're
all not that individually that important, you know what I'm saying.
Like it's like I think you're putting way too much
on it. What type of like old lady? Are you
gonna be my sister? I talked about this all happen Yeah,
my friends. Yeah, I'm gonna be a golden girl. I'm
just gonna be like killing it, like with some games
and maybe a drink or two. Listen, um, you said games.

(58:27):
I love games. I know. Yeah, oh I know you
unfairly beat me into games on your show. I'm the
same way. I feel like I always I'm a funny
one that Lynne didn't get his own face. It was ridiculous,
but listen how funny? So listen could we like I
don't know how many times we'll see each other for
our cross our pass a pastical quirrels like I will

(58:50):
come to your show. I would love to stay in touch.
But also like if for some reason, our world's go
different ways, Okay, I would love to, like when we're
golden girls and golden ladies, we should have like a
game night Bay Nights. No, I'm telling you, I'm I
we just have old lady game likes old lady game nights.
I'm down, I'm boarding and I'm down to start him now,
oh kay, I'm like, yeah, I love. I love that's
my sister. I talk about the time because I have have

(59:10):
I have a ranch in my Tanna and I and
it's like the most beautiful place ever, like just it's
just peaceful and lovely. And I h I have a
little two bedroom cavin and I love just sitting there
and like I had this whole summer with my sister
and my nephew. I basically smith whole summer with them
and my kids, and and it was just awesome. Like
we just played games, we went on four wheelers, we
just we just experienced life together and like the most

(59:34):
simplest form, right, So um yeah, just like walking along
the water on the property, like it's just it was
just awesome. And that's how I'm going out. So know
that if some accident happens to me, I'm pissed that
I do have a plan and I Honestly, I don't
have the plan because I I we have this whole
thing like in our group too. It's like, you know,

(59:55):
use the good china like so like that's why you
know I'm not saving my Oh I'm gonna save this
purse or when I do so, or I'm gonna save
this outfit or save this you know, I'm gonna save
my retirement rand or whatever. No, I'm gonna do that
every summer, and I think you should be doing it now.
Oh yes, yeah, because we were saying about retirement, like
we all aren't promised that, so like make sure you're
getting that in now. Now. I love flowers now you

(01:00:20):
know what I'm saying, Like, give everyone flowers that they're
flowers now. Yeah. Have game nights now, game nights, yes, yea,
or dinner as we started. We look, we've been doing good.
We've been like implementing real life. Usually I would just
work like right before this because I like to stay busy.
But now I'm like, we go out to dinner, whether
it's the band. Yeah, I was gonna say, give me
the real life. How you implement real life? We do?

(01:00:41):
Like my therapist God, for the longest time, she kept
saying it's interesting actually because she kept she kept saying, look,
can you please just take one night a week, like
get a babysitter, take one night a week, and and
I just never did it because honestly, I didn't realize
how depressed I was. I didn't realize how sad I was. Like,
So I think I didn't want to do that because
I didn't want anyone to ask me, like any kind

(01:01:02):
of question we've been talking about now, because I wasn't ready.
So I would have said how happy, I would have
probably just started crying. That's so I wasn't ready for that.
So so I think the once I got back and
I had time and space and I really worked some
stuff out like you know this summer and made time
for me and UM, I came back and I was like, look,

(01:01:24):
I was like, we're doing it. I was like, once
we've been doing something, either going to dinner with people
like um, hanging out just with the girls like after work,
just talking like you know, just the experience of going
to shows, like we've just been doing stuff and that's important.
Just going to the beach like in a weekend or
two as something as we next weekend like we're we're
you know, we're really like doing it. I'm like, use

(01:01:46):
the good china. Now, let's have a let's have a
good time. Use the good china. Yeah, who was the
other thing I said? I was going to steal from you.
I don't even have china. I love that I used
that reference. I just have like these really cute anthroplates
that all don't match or whatever. You use that, but
I use them. Okay, So those are my takeaways a
couple of Yeah, whenever I have one of these conversations
with somebody, I tend to it stay. They stay with me,

(01:02:08):
which is why I love them. It's like, yeah, these
conversations stay with me. There'll be something from every episode
that I've done, and I'll and it comes back to
me like something that somebody said. So I don't know
what yours will be because it will happen after Yeah,
but sitting right here, definitely, I'm not attending every party, yeah,
don't and don't attend every argument yea or argument yeah
what was the second thing? And oh and use the

(01:02:31):
second one? Yeah, and once a week for real life. Yeah,
but that's why I love like conversations like that. That's
it's it's a cool show you're doing because small talk
is for shallow people in my opinion, like you know
what I'm saying, and I like the deep end. So yeah,
so this is like deepened material. So congratulation, thank you many. Yeah,

(01:02:52):
you left us with some jewels, some gems today. Well
you're welcome, brought to you by my therapist. Maybe. Yeah,
she's awesome. Everybody'll get it. Everybody should. Yeah, people should.
And people did say they don't need one. You do,
and you're making others have to go for sure, and
making your life harder for your partners. I remember someone

(01:03:12):
was like, oh, yeah, I've never needed to go. I'm like,
that's because you're sending us there. Thank you, thank you.
I adore you. Game night soon, game night, Thank you
so much. I know I enjoyed this. Thank you, Thank
you so much. I will not attend every party, not
intend every argument. Argument you wanted to be a party.
You just don't want to go to parties either. You know,
I don't want to say a party. I want to

(01:03:32):
attend every argument. But I'm glad I attended today. Yes,
look at that stitch it on a pillow. See what
I see? What I see? How I wrapped it up.
I'm Kelly Clarkson in real life.