Moneybagg Yo

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I met the peak of my career and boom it happened.
It was a miscarriage. I love my baby mom. I
lost my day one. My left hand to the fis
my right hand to the streets. It's my back to back.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Andie Martinez in Real Life podcast money Bag. Yo, everybody, Hey,
back outside, Let's go back outside. What's up?

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Love?

Speaker 2 (00:24):
How you live?

Speaker 1 (00:25):
I'm good? I feel good good.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
It's been how long has been since you put music?

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Like?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Two years? A little over two years.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Look a little over two years, a little over two years.
I'm ready to. I'm ready to. I'm ready to get
back in the mold. You know, I was just I
was dealing with a lot of personal problems and going
through stuff. So it affected my whole process, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, it's hard when you, like, when you have real
life going on and then you have lots of people
that depend on.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
You exactly, exactly.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Get back to work.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
So before we talk about what the past two years
been like, we should just because I'm not going to
assume that everybody knows your story and your history or whatever,
but maybe just take us to like.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Walking homes, take you yourself, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Tell me that I had never been to Memphis.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
So tell me, I got a restaurant in Memphis. Now,
So now you got a reason I heard that is
the reason enough exactly. So I come from South Memphis,
walking homes. Of course, the table girl were hard, trying
to make it out up and down. We ain't have
too much. I mean I did the normal stuff with
everybody else, do.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
You know, you know, trying to get out, trying to
get trying.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
To get out, trying to get money. And I mean,
I just I had develop the passion for music, like
being around a group of dudes I was I used
to hang with and I used to see them like
do it and they was getting money off. I'm like,
when I seen them get two thousand and fifteen twenty
twenty five hundred for show, I'm like, I can do
this too, and it's legal, Like this, Lea, they legally give.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
You this penitential chance.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, you can take me penitentional chances. So I just
I got into it and it's started thirty started from
five hundred my first show, and it's just got to growing,
jump in twenty five hundred and fifteen thousand, like it's
got crazy.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
So you made a good choice.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, made a great choice. And that's how I figured
out it was for me.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
But tell me about that that place in Memphis, because
I've never been there. I don't know what it looks like.
I don't know what it feels like. I don't know,
like where you grew up.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
It's a neighborhood, of course, treachers trenches for show. Like,
you might get robbed in the day. You might come
out of the house. You might. You gotta worry about
somebody close to your snake and you're sitting you up.
You're getting this type of money. You can't let this
person see too much. You know what I'm saying. That
might they might caut you know what I'm saying. You got,
you got, I'm gonna just get dirty or get wrong

(02:41):
with it. Or you might. You might have a baby
with this girl. She got a baby with somebody, you
know what I'm saying. A dude over her, two streets
over her from you. Yeah, it's like that.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Everybody knows everybody. It's like small.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Everybody is small as right there, Like.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
And where are your parents?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
You know? My mama was in walking home. It was
in walking home. I ran away a lot, you know,
what I'm saying. I ran away?

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Where'd you go?

Speaker 1 (03:05):
I ran away because I wanted to be I feel
like being around like my mama she was having me too.
It was too girly fat.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Over there's too it was single mom.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, so it was too many girls, too many girls
in the house and stuff. Yeah, I got two sisters
and on my mama's side, but it was like it
was too too girl and my aunties and just different people.
It's just was too much going on. So my daddy
he was really in the streets with it. So I
just used to always run away, go over there with
his mama, like and my uncles and and just that's

(03:38):
how I got just influenced and jumped off the porch
Like and.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
What was your father's any about all that? What was
he doing around?

Speaker 1 (03:44):
It was pimping like he was you know Memphis, no
the uh so he was pimping and he was telling,
you know, just in the streets to taking penitential.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
But what does that do to a young like you
as a young boy?

Speaker 1 (03:57):
All it's the way to go. Like like when you
say it.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Like at what age? What age were talking about?

Speaker 1 (04:02):
We're talking about fifteen? We were talking about fourteen, fifteen sixteen.
Your mind like a sponge at this point. It's like
your man is the sponge you seeing? Is you absorbing?
Like this is what I supposed to be doing? Or
this like this is the way to go my dad
are doing to get money? Shit, I can do it.
I might can even do it better. I might can
really be successful it, you know what I'm saying. So
that's how I was looking at.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Did he have any saying that or anything?

Speaker 1 (04:25):
I think like, for a minute, he enjoyed it, like
like he made him proud.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
You know how dysfunctional and why that is.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah, sure, but it's just like a product where we
come from.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
I think he's like, that's my baby exactly.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Like he kind of enjoyed it, you know what I'm sing.
But he did tell me a lot of like real
stuff and a lot of right ways.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
To go to the So you did have both your
parents in your life?

Speaker 1 (04:47):
No, Like I ain't really had him in my life
like that, But the times I did spend with him,
he put me down and I learned from it. I
looked out, observed, I watched stuff. You know, I'm something
very very observer, and I just paid attention and picked
up off of So that's why I still like got
them memories in.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
My head now, Like isn't that crazy now that you're
a father?

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, I'm my father.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
So when you think about your child being fifteen years old?

Speaker 1 (05:13):
It scared me? What do you mean it scared me
because I know how it was and I know what
I saw, Like I know what I saw others like
I got daughters, like I got it's four and fourth.
So it's like I'm thinking, like four daughters, Like what
I saying, the worst the girls did in these four
different type of personalities, Like you know what I'm saying,
Like I can't do no pray, Like really, you know

(05:34):
what I'm saying, can't do no but pray because the
world we live in is so crazy and it's like
and you can't stretch over nowing you can't control.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
It's like, yeah, but how do you how do you
know how you have eight kids?

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Right? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:47):
How do you know how to father eight kids when
your father wasn't really like.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
There, I feel like the streets. I feel like the
streets because it just like me want better for myself
and me like if I ever had kids, I don't
want to feel I don't want them to feel that.
I don't want them to feel what I felt. You
know what I'm saying, like just feeling left out when
you see other people with their dad or it is
the is the daddy and and like you know when

(06:15):
you invite your parents to the school and all them
type of activities.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Isn't that crazy? How it really that ship? Really like
the school things? Yeah, I remember that too, being a kid,
the same.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Thing, and it affected me. You know what I'm saying
affected me crazy?

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Is that it's not your father selling drugs or pimping
or anything like that. That it was that he wasn't
at the school thing.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, like as the kids, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
What sticks the most.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Like not telling me happy birthday, like you feel me
like like it be my birthday? He like, and this
one this one like I started, I created motion. I
had created motion.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
What's that like?

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Motion means like you got you got it going, like
moving a moving right now? You feel me? So in
the streets, yeah, just like we're like when my first year,
like when the city got on me, the trash states
and all them people in the chicken circuits. So he
reached out. He was like, yo, what's so and then

(07:11):
he go to asks for like, but it was my birthday?

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Is that the first time he came around when you
started popping?

Speaker 1 (07:17):
No, I want the first time he came around, Like
I had seen him a couple of times, been seeing
him off and on. You know what I'm saying, every
blue moon, stuff like that, and then boom, you know,
but it was just at that time it was my
I can't forget. You're going back to saying, like what
stuck to me? Like I couldn't forget moments like I
can't forget moments like that, And I don't never want
my kids to you know what I'm saying. So I

(07:38):
try to stay on point with all their birthday like
I started. I started out like like two or three.
I know about heart and I just had to learn
to like and put it, put it into my notes,
like because it's something I really cared about. So I
gotta take calendar. Yeah, I got my calendar, my notes.
You know what I'm saying, Whatever it takes, whatever it takes,
the stay shop with make them happy. So yeah, try.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I have only two. I have one and the step
so I have two boys and it's hard to just
juggle at exactly. I can't even imagine eight, and then
you got eight with different co parenting and then.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
You right, situation, Yeah it was five, it was five
baby mamas. Now it's four.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
I'm sorry, you know what I'm saying. So, yeah, how's that?

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Uh, it's a tough situation. Uh, you know, I got
I had three, three kids by her.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
This is your first baby money.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Yeah, my first bab I got three kids by her.
I got and it's like, uh, I took, I got
full county to my kids. You know what I'm saying.
They stay in the house with me. I'm sure I'm
getting them adjusted to this lifestyle. It's different life, you
know what I'm saying. And it's just like it's hard,
I really be. I see, like what type of sacrifices

(08:48):
you you gotta make?

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Like it's definitely kind of sacrifices.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
You gotta make. And it's like three know you're talking
about an artist like hordes me, like I'm at the
peak of my career and boom that happened.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
So what happened you you were? Was this your first?
This is your first wetting together a long time? Like
was this like a like you you had three kids
that's a significant amount of time.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, but no they want they won't like it. You know,
I was in the streets with it, so you know
what I'm saying. I was in the streets with it.
So it was in between other situations. You know, when
I called myself done, I ain't going you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
So but you kept going back?

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was that type of it was
something good.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
It was something good. Was there must have been some
love or something there was there for sure. Yeah. So
then how did you is it okay?

Speaker 1 (09:34):
But the street, you know, she was in the streets.
Like I said, she come from walking homes too. Just
told you how treachers there was h she was murdered.
You know what I'm saying. She was killed. I'm so
sorry about somebody that she was with. And you know
it was shocking. I was in Atlanta and I was recorded.
I was working on the the taking on. They just

(09:56):
called me, like you know what she is saying, Uh,
she had a room, she dead, she left at the room.
I can get deep on. I ain't gonna get as
deep as I can. But that's like the picture right there,
you know, like this god aentually broke I couldn't believe.
Like first I was, I felt like I was more
mad at her than anything, Like I was more mad

(10:19):
at I was like how you lit it? Like you
feel me? Like how you let it happen? How you
let your kids? And it was so crazy because when
I when I talked to my daughter, she was just
telling me, like I told my mom we was at
the airport. I told my mama not to go. Well,
they was in the airport in Miami going back to Memphis.
You feel me? So she was just like I told
my mama, I didn't feel right. We didn't need to go.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
And when when she when ipened in Memphis or in Miami, her.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Getting murdered, She that happened in Memphis, you know what
I'm saying. So my daughter like when I it was
crazy like because I had called my daughter, was like
where you are? I had already got the news like
this when I'm broke down, Like damn, I'm fine, I'm
finna like what I'm finna say? So I end up
let the steam off out, you know crab whatever Crabb

(11:04):
got on the phone. When crab, baby, you know when
you're in serious. I called my daughter and I was
just like what you're doing with y'all at like that.
And she was just like it happened. That's exactly what
she saidady, because her mama sposed to being with her
like that night, she sposed to came back and get

(11:26):
she ain't never come back, you know what I'm saying.
So she was like, it happened. No, it' you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
It's just thirteen.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, she's fourteen. Her birthday was in March, March nineteenth.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Well, this is just a year ago. This is still
kind of fresh.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
And I was real fresh, like it's super fresh, and
I just didn't know how to jee like man, I
was like, my mama, finish, come get y'all. It's all
I can say. I was in the A. I'm like, man,
my mama finn to come get y'all.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
And boom, are you in shock?

Speaker 1 (11:55):
You have to be like almost deffinitely in shock. Like
it's it's hard to talk about right now, but I'm
strong with man, you know what I'm saying. I'm dealing
with it and I'm getting through it, you know.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
And how how are your kids dealing with it? There's
three of her three children right.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Like my uh, my daughter, like the oldest one. You know,
she understand more. She understands more than the other ones.
So she taking it way harder. Like she walked up
to me like before I left, like, Dad, I just
want to talk to him, talking to her. She's like,
I don't want to do therapy. I need therapy. Like
she she a world enough to say that, like, you know,
like I want to do therapy. I want to get

(12:32):
I just be so sad and I'm just always in
the room because she always just in her room, Like
I have to make her do stuff. You feel me,
I have to make her just get up and get
about her day, like come on to mind, let's do this,
do this. You know what it took him in but
now she's she she opening up, she's doing it.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Thank god you have a relationship where she can say
that to you.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Noah, for sure, you know. And I just always you know,
just try to keep her just Daddy, love you this
and then it just always texted just in carriage and stuff.
You know, that's tough, tough. It's a tough situation.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
The three kids are you have full custody now, right?
They love what you Yeah, they didn't before. It was
just like joint and yeah, you.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Know how when you have a baby, you know, and
we ain't taking she ain't never take me to court.
She actually like was like one of my baby mamas.
Never gave me problems, Like she never gave me problems,
like and when she and we did, it was probably
my fault. You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Do you have any regrets about that?

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Maybe yeah, I stay up, Like, man, I wish I
would have. I wish I would have picked up the phone.
She called me before it happened, Like I'm like, man,
I wish I would have picked up the phone. You know,
maybe I could have said someone made her not go
get on the plane, like I was thinking like that,
to not go back home, like my daughter was telling me.
She was rushing to me. It was like they had
missed two three flights. She she ain't want to turn around,

(13:48):
go back to the house or none in Miami that
I got for him, and she just was like, no,
I'm going, We're going.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
You going.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
She was like, I just want to go back. Let
me go back with my daddy. This is my daughter
telling her. But she like, no, you ain't going, but
you're coming with me. You're coming with me, coming right back.
But she was going to like get all this stuff
to transfer them to the schools out there. So even
in the hotel they found the stack of papers, all
the papers.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
You know what I'm saying, trying to change your life.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
Here, she told me. She like she like like even
when I was having like little dreams and you know,
like when you you feel like they come to you
and your sleep and stuff like that, she was just
telling me it was my last time, like my last
time it was gonna be. It was just one more
time ipposed to came back, like you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
So that's tough. Your kids probably do the therapy right
at something.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Show My MoMA even be telling me too.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
The man she was about to so you brought to
my house they were supposed to move to MAAMMI Yeah, yeah, God,
bless how are you doing.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
I mean, it's a tough situation. I'm just staying strong.
I'm just I'm just happy to have like a great
support system, the support system that I got, and just
keep me motivated like a girl. My mama. You know
what I'm saying. Just friends, you know what I'm saying,
Friends of the family.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, because trauma like that and sometimes that people can't
get up from that.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
It's still it's super hard like, but I just like
what I say. I'm in the strong phase. It's why
I feel like I want to come back. And I'm
talking though, like i'm speaking. At first, I couldn't talk.
I couldn't even I couldn't do this right now. I couldn't,
you know what I'm saying. Yes, couldn't even get worried.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
I can't believe you doing it now. And be honest
with you, you.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Probably can hear them. You probably don't know if you
can hear them. My voice a little bit, it's trembling
a little bit, but I feel like I.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Can tremble for you, like you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Not it is the year is not.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
It's still, you know what I mean, not that long,
and not only you dealing with your own trauma, but
you're dealing with your kids trauma and trying to save
them and protect them because the other two are how.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
Old eleven and nine eleven?

Speaker 2 (15:48):
And now, oh so they old enough that they had
relationship with her?

Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
And if you don't want to talk about this, it's okay.
But I know, people probably would wonder. It's like has
there been any arrest or any its just it was
just just like.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
This crazy like before Mother's Day, before month's day, on
actual murder. Yeah, yeah, my mama, I mean her mama
called me and told me that they had got them
or something like that. I don't really know the full detail.
Don't even know them, like they don't know nothing about it,
like they never try to know them or none of them,
just going off what they say, what they will help mamas,
what I was told.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
I know you said you have a good support system,
but like grief and like trauma and all of that stuff,
like how do is it music? Like how are you
like I mean pulling yourself back up because you're saying
now you're starting to know, like you said, like.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
You gotta let it out, you gotta cry, crowd in
the shower, like crowd in shower, like you know, let
it out, let the sting. I feel good about it.
After they record songs, try to stay busy as possible,
you know what I'm saying, and really just stay focusing.
But just looking at my kids just like it's hard.
They would make it harder, like looking at my kids
looking at my kids make it way worse.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Like of course, because now you got to be a
father on top of that, and you gotta save them
and protect them and do all that stuff. How are
you doing that? Like how are you parenting? How are
you being in that? Like how are you managing that?

Speaker 1 (17:14):
I don't know. I can't even explain it for real.
I just I'm just doing it like I'm real deal,
just going with the going with the flow. We all
trying to get better, We're all trying to heal. You
know what I'm saying. I take prayers seriously. I take
my religions seriously, and it's just like I just be
on my knees, like you know what, do you pray
for a lot of everything? Like everything that is like

(17:37):
and like I go back to like when I first
took my shahada and I got and I became Muslim.
I don't know if that's the reason, because who I
am now, me fast and me taking God as serious
as I did, That's when I took my career took off.
It's like when I ain't hell, I'm just living in
the world. I could never get over the hump, you
see what I'm saying. But It's like when I started

(17:58):
taking God serious, like like I started seeing everything like
really sorry, and it was like unexpected to it don't
be as soon as you pray for.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Did you not believe in God? Like early in your life, I.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
Ain't did I ain't believe in God? You know, my
Mama raised me up to like on a Christian end,
like on that end you went.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
To church and stuff or no sometimes on occasion sometimes,
But so when did you uh, when did you become assome?

Speaker 1 (18:27):
But where was that? Uh? Twenty eight twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
And then your career has taken off twenty twenty like.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Do what I said? Like it ain't gonna happen as
soon as you twenty excreuse me twenty nineteen. I feel
like none will work, like damn what I ain't doing right?
Like I ain't doing That's just it's like God really
test your patience, like it really test your patience. You
gotta have a patients like this is the key. And
once I locked on it, I found out about that.
It's like none can't stop me. Now I don't rush

(18:57):
nothing like I don't rush nothing no more time do it?

Speaker 2 (19:01):
God, bless your kids, man, how are the other kids.
Don't they all together? You only have three in the house.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
No, I got three that actually stay with me this
in the house. But you know my other kids. I'm
always having my kids. I'm always having when I get
back to the house, and I got free time, even
if really if I don't have free time, I let
them run around the house and I go in the studio.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, you know I heard.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
I got the nanny and my sister, my mama daughter,
my other sister.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
She she helped me because I heard you say one
time that you at the beginning of your kid's life,
you missed a lot.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
Because yeah, I missed a lot. I missed birthdays. I
had to sacrifice a lot to get here. Like I missed.
I missed a lot, whole lot, Like the daddy daughter day,
like stuff she wanted me to come to. I had
to miss it. And I was tripping by my my people.
You know what I'm saying. But I'm making them for
it for sure. That ain't they real smart kids. I
don't forget nothing now. But so they got my jeans.

(19:52):
But at the end of the day, it's like I'm
making up for the good way. Too bad?

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Has anything surprised you about parents because it's different co
parents and having kids have and then having kids in
the house every.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Day, Like really like anything surprised you, I say, like
really like kind of like dealing with my daughter, like
you know this is right, We're going wrong, like she
like the periods and all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
You know, it's something when you would navigate that.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
You know what I'm saying, I don't know nothing about it.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
So you go into the store for tampons and I work.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
I work, my sister and a you know what I'm saying.
They work with me on it. You know I love that.
It's like I don't know how to playing it. Stay
out of it. Yeah, I stay out of it. You
know what I'm saying, Stay out of it. You know,
it's life.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
They I mean, they're doing better than most of us.
They got their dad and you know what I'm saying.
We talk about daddy issues and dad's not being around
a lot on this podcast. It's about real life. A
lot of people come from, you know, not having that,
so you know, them having you in in their.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
Life, it's really a very blessing for sure. All on
for sure, just all active with all of them.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
You know what, I'd be having ups and downs, you know,
like with a couple of moms, but you know how
they go, like everybody ain't gonna be happy, can't make
it better? Happy? So happy?

Speaker 2 (21:08):
Is there anything you would do different?

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yeah? But I don't regret nothing. I don't regret and
I don't look at my kids and they know mistakes
and none of it like I look at them like
they blessings for sure. But you know, for sure, like
the knowledge that I got now, I'm a whole new person,
my whole you know what I'm saying. So if I
could have these knowledge, then a lot of stuff wouldn't happened.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
How old are you can answer? Yeah? Do you feel
like this kicked you into like real real adult thing,
like real real life?

Speaker 1 (21:37):
It kicked me, it did. Yeah, it put me in
there and it made me feel kind of I don't
like feeling what do you mean feel I've been through
real life mature and then like just having my kids
like that, having my kids like that, like, man, wow,
that's funny, he said. I don't want to feel You

(22:00):
don't want to feel like that? What have you?

Speaker 2 (22:03):
What have you learned about love through all this? Because
because you said, you have to be supported deeply, like
during this type of grief and trauma and life change.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
I don't know, man, I just feel like it's literally
it's how you even got the title for this mixtape,
Like it's real deal hard to love, Like it's hard
to love people like because they don't come with just
they don't come soliday, like they be disguised and ain't
got good intentions all the time. And it's like, I
feel like it's hard to love me because of everything
I've been through. So it makes it worse. It makes

(22:38):
it hard for me to trust, like all kinds of stuff,
Like I don't know how to you feel me. And
I always be in my head. I'm a virgo, you know.
Sometimes I overthink, you know what I'm saying. I be
in my head sometimes, but I be thinking like it's
for the better. It's for the better too, because I
have came out on top thinking like that, what do
you mean? Or being protective, being over protected myself, being
guard to guards up, you know what I'm saying, and

(22:59):
out dods a lot of situations like that. So I
don't never want I don't regret that.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
I don't want to take that back yeah, but at
some point if you but.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
I be, I try to loosen on certain I didn't
got I didn't got mature and up there to like
a word to the point. It's like when I see stuff,
i'd be like, let me, let me see. But I
always have a I be ten steps ahead of the
situation to where like if this go like this, I'm
like this.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
So it's like, so you never all the way committed
if you're always looking at somebody with a side eye,
it ain't You can't all the way committed love if
you always like let me see, you're hard to love exactly.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
I feel like this is exactly why I'm hard to love.
But it's like I don't look at everybody and everything
like that. It'd be certain situations because I'd be like,
especially first of all, this situation like who I am
like today? Make me like that? Like you can't like
how you know people coming in there with great motives,
like good motives. Everybody ain't coming in with good motive.
Everybody trying to get off, get on, get some money,

(24:02):
get some motion going, like I don't like you feel
me need their hands out? Yeah you feel me? So
I got it, just I got to be like they.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Really but do you feel like because I feel like
I'm the same way. I'm super protective. I got small circle,
but I do have faith and showy you got to
have I have faith, but also I have faith in
that I've been gifted with. I feel like I'm a
good judge of character. Yeah, not to say I can't
make mistakes or people still can't disappoint me, for sure,

(24:30):
but I try to if I see something that I
don't like, you know what I mean. I try to
make sure the people around me. I feel like I'm
for the most part, I'm a good judge of character
for sure. You feel like you know I know how
to Yeah, I pick people good because that helps when
a lot of times I have messed up too though
I ain't perfect. Now messed up and I be like,

(24:51):
I beat myself and when I go through it, I
beat myself up bad about it. Even when you trust
somebody and they disappoint you or.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, exactly like if I let you in and you
you betrayed me, or this happen, I'd be like, I
know I shouldn't be like nothing. You know, I get
over it.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
But you've been in a relationship now how long you
have already been together?

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Like four years?

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Four years? Ye, that's real.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
It's real.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
That went fast fast, And I gotta imagine this is
cou just be me guessing. It's like when you have
a relationship with somebody is so good and sweet, but
when when she gets really hard.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Get rocket now, get rocket, Yeah, get rocket.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
But when you go through trauma in your life, or
you go through challenge like you've been through the past year.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
It's like it's on her life. Be on her too,
you feel me like it don't just be on me
like she dealing with me. She locked in with me,
spiritually connected, all kinds of stuff, and it's like it
be on her too, like she got she be had
to deal with them problems too, like because it's on
me and she want me to be happy. If i'm
if I ain't had, I can't make no better happy.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
And she was with you when you wasn't full custody dad,
when you was. She's transition to both of us for sure.
How's that going.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
It's going challenges, Yeah, it's challenging for show. It's difficult,
you know, it's difficult relationship relationships, they're difficult for show.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
So what keeps you? What connected you?

Speaker 1 (26:25):
Then?

Speaker 2 (26:25):
What what's the thing that I like?

Speaker 1 (26:27):
She more of Like she might homie at the same
time she might love she's my friend. Like it's like
we can I could tell her anything, She's gonna correct me.
You have to have trust show like we locked in
to that point, like we we we just open with
each other about everything.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
It's probably very helpful going through what you went through
to have somebody that.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yeah, and she and she very supportive. She very supportive.
She a supportive person too, very supportive person.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
So you're doing okay in love? You got four years in.
You made it through some tough times.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Difficult times to know, difficult times happen.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
It hasn't been hart because you know, you talk about
coming from the daddy you came from. You talk about
coming from the streets and having babies in between others.
You know, how are you doing with like being in
a should I say monogamous relationship? Like how do you
is that taken adjustment for you?

Speaker 1 (27:19):
No?

Speaker 2 (27:19):
What you mean because like you talk about being in
and out of stuff and it presents and I could
be wrong, and just assuming that your relationship is like
you guys are together, right, sure, but some people have
open relationships, some people have monogamous relationships.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
We ain't got that going. But I made mistakes, you
know what I'm saying. I made poor decisions, and that's
why I rock with her so tough like. I rock
with her so tough like she helped me through this situation.
I mean I was I looked at it. I was
just being a nigga, and a nigga that like come
from Memphis and my environment. That's what I was used to.

(27:55):
I had never been in no real relationship before. You
know what I'm saying, I had never been in no
real relationship to where like I'm talking to her all night,
I'm checking in and yo, like baby, I'm doing this.
You good, I'm finna be doing this, so you ain't
got to be thinking this or this, and it like
it was like so new to me.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
That's why I was asking because that's a big transition to.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Somebody, big transition.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
So of course, you know, I you know, you made
some mistakes.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
I made some mistakes. You already know what I'm I'm
getting there with it. I made some mistakes. You know,
she ain't take their will, She ain't take their will,
But you got any and it got crazy to you.
It get crazier, like it's different, like when you do
something and then it's like how you did it okay,
But then it's different like when when the mother was

(28:42):
like when you have the person like called him and
try to tell them me andything like he did this
and this and he was doing it. Did you know
he did? You know this? And so that made it
even worse on her, Like but I kept it, GETO,
I just kept it. You're like, yeah, you know, you
know I did that. I'm sorry, baby, you know what
I'm saying. I just I made mistakes. You know what

(29:02):
I'm saying. That was then are you sorry?

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Because people gots say I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Got caught no exactly. I really come from a puer place,
you know what I'm saying. I come from a puer
place when I say that. You know what I'm saying, like,
I apologize and I just want to you know what
I'm saying. I want to work through it and get
through it. And she with it and she hilping me
with my you know what I'm saying, hipping me work
through it. That's why I rock with her so tough,
because it's like Okay, I get it. I understand you.

(29:29):
You know what I'm saying. I don't want don't let
it happen again. Don't let this you feel me like,
this ain't gonna be our life. Don't don't take me
up through there. But I do understand. You know what
I'm saying. Once I broke it all the way down
to her. You know what I'm saying. When I broke
it all the way down her, she she understood me fully.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
You know that's a that's a big transition, that's a
big crazy Are you proud of yourself to like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of me. I'm
proud of me. I'm getting somewhere, I'm moving, You're going
in the right direction, in the right direction. Like at
the end of the day too, it's like, excuse me,
Like it's like the other they don't be having nothing
to offer. Like when it's especially when you've been with
a person four years, you see you see how she coming.

(30:14):
She she there for you in all kinds of ways,
of ports, systems just just all across the board, and
it's like you deal with a situation just on convenience,
like because it was convenient and you right there, you
on the road or something, and it just happened. Trying
to look for excuse, you know, Cachine, Nere or something,
whatever the case was. Uh and uh, and it happened,
and you just be like, man, this ain't I'm glad.

(30:36):
I'm glad. I just I got baby at the house.
I got baby to go home to. And you know
what I'm saying, just vent to and talk, you know,
just hit me get through stuff.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Is that the first time you felt like that in
your life?

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yeah? This is this is This is a tough situation
like relationship difficult, man, relationship difficult. I ain't perfect. I'm
hearing like people go through this now. They they just
don't want to They ain't gonna get on here with
Andrew martin Is and say what they did because they
don't want to face backglass or they don't want to
do that. Man, I'm hurting. I'm not perfect. I have
didn't done stuff like probably about seven months ago, were healing.

(31:14):
Right now, we were on the road to were moving forward.
You know what I'm saying, We're moving forward healing right now.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
How do you get her to trust you again?

Speaker 1 (31:22):
That's hard? She really, I don't think she one hundred
percent trust I know she don't one hundred percent trust me.
You know what I'm saying, But it is what it is.
I made that bed. I gotta lady, and I take
full accountability. I'm a man, you know what I'm saying.
Before anything, so you know we're working towards I can't
do nothing but sure sure keep showing, show improve and
make her feel safe and won't it and let her

(31:44):
know that I'm here, like you, you ain't gonna get
that again.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Does that make you appreciate her more?

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yeah? I appreciate that. I like that made me just
get all the way together like I can't. I don't
lose that. Like, do you know what I'm saying. I
don't want to lose this situation this. I might I
get this again. No, I might not get this again.
I lose this situation. Nobody else might even come like
a I might think. I think I might. I can
find it on money. Value'm gonna get someone else, you
know what I'm saying, get something. I'm gonna get someone

(32:11):
else and don't even get it.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
I gotta imagine women watching gonna think this, They're gonna
have this question for it? How does a man who
lives a certain type of way for his whole life
and is trying to transition into a different type of
man for his woman because he wants to be in
this monogamous relationship and all of that, How is that
a real thing? Is it possible? Do you believe that
for yourself? Do you believe that?

Speaker 1 (32:32):
But transformation?

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, that type of transformation?

Speaker 1 (32:36):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (32:36):
And if you do believe in it? What is the
key to it?

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Like?

Speaker 2 (32:38):
What are you learning about yourself and learning that?

Speaker 1 (32:41):
You know what I mean? Temptation? What do you mean?
You gotta learn how to fight temptation. You gotta know
how to fight. This is the hard thing to do,
you know what I'm saying. That's why the situation is
why I found myself in this situation when it happened.
You know what I'm saying. It's like, you got to
know how to control yourself. You know what I'm saying.
That's what I'm learning on big on it right now.
I'm learning how to control myself and never and navigate

(33:03):
myself in the right lane and and stay over there,
like look, bro, like that ain't gonna be good. Then
they might they might be trying to They might don't
even like they might be trying to get off like
you do this, They trying to get off, They trying
to really embarrass you know what I'm saying, ship on
her like so i'd be I'd have to think for
her going in a certain situations like you know what
I'm saying, That's how I know I love her, Like

(33:24):
you know what I'm saying, That's how you know you
love a person when you're thinking for them, and you
you know what I'm saying, when you're moving and you're
thinking for them, You're like, I can't do that. But
like this ship she already crazy. You know, she don't
go to the moon. She's gonna go fist. So it's
like I'll be trying to keep my head on straight
cause it's somebody really I really want to do. I

(33:45):
just that's what I want to do.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
That's beautiful, God bless she brought you property too, right,
that's the keeper. Did she buy you land up?

Speaker 1 (33:51):
She bought me property like that know what I'm saying,
Like this, you set my kids up? How can I
not love you? Like I can I not love you? So?

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Did I feel like because anybody ever get did do
something like that before?

Speaker 1 (34:01):
They didn't gave me. I can got little gifts and
stuff before, but that no, that was like the biggest
greatest gift I ever got.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Like so far and are you used to that? Like
with like no, how did that feel for you?

Speaker 1 (34:15):
I may feel mushy crazy, you know what I'm saying,
Like like you know, you know what I'm saying, not
trying to be just too hard. It just made me
like I was like, damn, like man, she really do lott.
It made it opened my eyes more so, like not
saying that I used to question love with her like
or that question I love. It's just period in general,
like going back to the heart, hard to love situations

(34:38):
like is this really it? How we what we're going
and what we're going to like what we're doing, Like oh,
I be in my head a lot about that, but
and to myself, you know what I'm saying. But then
that situation like when she when I got my gifts,
my mama threw me a little party downtown Memphis. We
I opened up all my gifts, I got my gifts,
we left, we went up. They just drop having me.

(35:00):
I just know I'm getting closer to my neighborhood, my hood,
one front walking homes, and we turned, we turned on
third Street. I'm like, I'm like, what we're doing, Like
what we turn in the field for. You know what
I'm saying. We turn in the field when I get
when I get deeper in the field, I see my name.
I love you baby. The twenty eight point eight acres
and the big cars and the big you know, balloons,

(35:23):
and just the whole vibe, you know what I'm saying.
So it was a real touching moment for me, Like
it touched me for sure, because nobody, like I said,
nobody ever did that. I ever did nothing like this.
So I was like, damn, this might be.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
This might be a keeper might keep you might put
yourself together when you're in the club and somebody trying
to tempt you keep you might that might. That's beautiful, man.
So do you see like marriage and all that stuff
in the future for you.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
I don't know. I don't know about all that yet.
I don't know about allying. You know what I'm saying.
One thing at the time, we're gonna do We're gonna
do this right here, you know what I'm say. We're
gonna do it. We're doing right here and now just
stay focused with that.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
You know, I saw it because there was some speculation about.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
A ring that it was. Yeah. I was just yeah,
you're in my mind. I had gay hell ring. And
it's just I liked that the ring. Like I like
the the ring. I wanted to see it look good
on like the color of the white, color of the diamond,
it looked the good on her finger, and I got it,
Like it's just looked good. It looked good on her.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
It's beautiful that you found love like that, especially the
circumstances you come out of and experiences.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Rugs. Shout out to mister Rugg. You know he throw
parties in the lima.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Is he the one who?

Speaker 1 (36:35):
Yeah this?

Speaker 2 (36:35):
You know?

Speaker 1 (36:36):
God? It reached out to him like, hey, yo, bad
hit me trying to get in contable. Already seeing that self.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
You went for her.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, I went for you know what I'm saying. I seen,
I seen, you know, I was already on the Instagram
like I don't want this joint. You know. You know
how you do that when you work that one and
then it's like sometimes you can think you want something
you don't even want it, Like when you get it?
Why did I even? But it's just this situation, Like
this situation was like boom, it was like damn, this

(37:03):
is what I want to like, you know what I'm saying.
You like you gilt old, you read and you know
when it toning down you want to turn it off,
Like how the Internet perceive her, like try to prank
this picture of her and say she this and that.
I don't even I don't get I don't get that.
I don't see that.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Like what do you think people misunderstand about her.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Because she's so wrong Like in the internet, it's so
sensitive right now and the world so sensible right now,
Like she just too wrong for it. You know what
I'm saying. I feel like, dude, you don't ever I'm
not at the house going crazy what you're doing with
all the insecurity. Are insecure with it because I know
where I stand, I know who I am. You gotta

(37:43):
be confident with yo. You You should like men and
should even want they they women to see how confident
they is. Like you gotta be confident. You can't have
like but I also know it's some fun the women
out there too, though. This don't just work on men,
like Yeah, don't do that. You know what I'm saying.
We ain't gonna do that because women too, you know
what I'm saying. But at the end of the day,

(38:04):
we were in a good space, in a great space.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
How you deal with that co parenting situation and all
of that because you have complicated you both have other parents.
Does that get complicated or do you stay out of
her co parents?

Speaker 1 (38:19):
Yeah, I stay out of it. I stay out of it.
I let I let them figure it out, you know
what I'm saying, long as they don't just get disrespectful.
You know what I'm saying. Don't get disrespectful. You know
what I'm saying. On each end, I try to stay
out of it. You know what I'm saying. I stay
all the way out of it. And but you know
how it be on the on the other tip, you
got you know some baby mama's day. Girls different, like

(38:39):
girls different. Some dudes be real building and stuff too,
but females different. But I just try to keep it
like I balanced it, man, I just be balancing it.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
The fact that y'all still standing four years after so
much all.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Of that is, that's a lot. But I ain't like that.
What I said at the beginning of it, want this
stuff won't going on. It's like seven months like when
I made that they're fucked up decision. All right, yeah
there was were seven months later I put.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Money on y'all. Y'all so we got music coming, which
is exciting. So you so all the stuff that you've
been through, it's all the music.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
You about to hear it on. I'm talking on when
when it's a song called going Through Some Things Hard
to Love. When I'm talking about the miscarried situation, like
I say, like, yeah, well her and I say, treat
her like a wife about a big carrot. As soon
as we agreed to have a child, she had a miscarry.

(39:39):
Deal with this ship behind clothed. Those ain't posting nothing online.
I kept them folks about my business whatever, whatever the
case may be. You know what I'm saying. But it's
like I was, I'm really being opening up about opening
up about the situation and telling them like this situation
like her losing the baby and all that, it is
like broke. It was kind of breaking out bumb because

(40:00):
at one point it was breaking out bun you feel me,
And it was because I feel like she felt like
I want third, you know how it's difficult. Yeah, she
felt like I want third for like how opposed to
been but whole town trying to get through my situations.
I'm trying to work. I'm trying to wrap this all happened.

(40:21):
All this happened like it was a miscarriage. I lost
my baby, Mam, I lost my day, won my best
my left and right hand left, my left hand to
the fix, my right hand to the you know what
I'm saying to the streets, it's my back to back.
Were telling my back to back like within a year period,
like January, that's when news could at nowise could at January.

(40:43):
That's my brother or my brother he died in January,
you know what I mean? So how did he die? Well,
just in the streets got killt you know what I'm saying,
unexpected The same day, it was crazy. The same day,
the same day I got the call about him. I
was buying the founom. I had just renegotiated my deal.
Shout out the end scope uh, renegotiating my deal and
I was buying a fuenom. You know what I'm saying,

(41:05):
being the found But I had just talked to him
the day before that, and I was like, bro, the
money and the bag in the big bag in they
we finna do this, We're gonna do that. He was like, Oh,
they don't want to see no gangs do with no money.
That's the last thing I remember. I'm saying, like, they
don't want to see me with this money. So boom.
I was on the showroom floor. I was buying, getting
getting the getting a fenom Rose Russ and they called
me and pulling off, I fin the gas up. I'm

(41:26):
pulling them across the street from the where I got
the car from, pulling over the cast say hey, come bro,
They saying Nowski called you gonna want to answering the
phone mama and uh, his mama. His baby Mama's then
stamped it. You know, they stamped it. So that was
a hard situation, you know what I'm saying. That was
the first. Then my baby mama died three months after that, Jesus,

(41:50):
you know what I'm saying, Because like the smoke care
got so heavy in the city. The smoke had got
so heav in the city. I had to like maneuver
my baby mamas around. It wasn't like it was too
much a lot of stuff wasn't even on me. But
I understand how the streets go. And I'm not gonna
explain to no nigga or nobody like nothing, like I'm
not doing it. I'm just gonna move accordingly because I'm
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
So you actually moved her out of Memphis, save her
from what was happening.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Like I moved all of them, like I moved all
of them, like look, y'all, go over here, y'all, come
do this for a minute. Boom. But then she was,
you know, she was in the streets with it, and
she was doing what she was doing. And yeah, unfortunately
this situation happened. Going back, you.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Tried to do the right thing.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
Yeah I did. I did.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Do you have at least some I don't know, some
like peace and that for yourself.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yeah, but like my mom, y'all, Mari yo, quit blaming yourself.
Quit blaming yourself with that. Like when they first had out,
like man crying, go on ham and just like man
is my fault? Man post else the phone for she
sent me this long text like the day before she died,
like we need to talk and just real long paragraph
like this is like it'd be crazy how people say goodbye.

(43:02):
You know what I'm saying. She send me a real
loan paragraph and she called me like and I was
like two days before that, you know, I was talking
to her because she was telling me, I'm going back
to Memphis. I'm gonna get the kids stuff and get
their paperf and get everything transferred over and we finished
your start over. I'm I'm clean offing to be right. Yeah,
fuck man. And it's just hit me like every time

(43:25):
somebody be due to every time somebody try to clean
their life up, just like with news, Like he was like, Bro,
I want I'm fin the gone, come to man, I'm
the gone. Come out there with you and just get
it straight, get it right, you know what I'm saying.
And this situation happened too, And the same thing happened
with A. Uh my brother, he in the fast right now.
But it's looking real good for A. You know what

(43:45):
I'm saying. It's looking real good for him. It look
like he's coming home real soon. So it's a blessing.
I can lose some good news right now. I can
use some good news. What do you do this?

Speaker 2 (43:55):
What do you use to balance? Like all that pain
because you gotta find some joy in your life, right,
Like what's can you smile these days?

Speaker 1 (44:01):
So I want to be hard. A lot of times
I act like I'm happy, Like I be acting like
I'm happy because I understand I'm a role model. I
got people looking up to me. I can't you can't
do that. You can't let them see that. And I
ain't about looking weak like I said, you were hearman
at the end of the day. But it's like, I can't,
I can't do that. I gotta set examples. I got

(44:21):
people looking at me, so I got the stay strong
if then I got kids that if they see me crying,
what you think they're gonna do? You know what I'm saying.
So if they see me break down, what you think
they're gonna do? I got to stay strong in front
of them, even though it be super intend be super hard.
Do you I be having to walk hold up? Let
me go. I gotta be real quick and cry like
oh and then come back and we finished the situation,
finish the conversation like it be that hard, Like do

(44:44):
you have.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
Do you talk to anybody about this? Or do you
how do you get it out?

Speaker 1 (44:47):
I tried. They I ain't gonna lie tried therapy, the
ladies just one. I feel like she she won't giving
it given put it now. They ain't try. Not every
third is trashed. But she won't giving like she she
I couldn't. I feel like I couldn't open up to her.
She ain't make me feel like me sitting right here
talking to you, you would have me, you would have me.

(45:08):
I feel like off these cameras, I really vent like
you were really you know what I'm saying. I really
give you everything. You know what I'm saying. And she
didn't give it. She ain't make me feel comfortable. It's
like she was almost trying to be in my business
because who I was, and it really bagged me up.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
Yeah that's not, that's not, but you know that most
people would take three or four. Like I had a
car accident a few years ago, and I was dealing
with all types of PTSD wear shit, and it took
me like I had to go to like three therapists
before I found somebody to help me be able to
even drive. Because I coudn't even drive. I get in
the car, my hands and start shaking like this, and
I was like, I'm not trying to live my life
like this. Somebody got to help me. First couple of

(45:44):
therapists I went to trash for I say that to
you because don't just because you had one bad experience.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
But I just feel like I ain't even to talk.
She put a bad taste in my mouth.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
So it's just like yeah, but she can't ruin it.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
I feel like I can get through it, like if
I just like, if it's somebody like if I had,
Like it's somebody like you were like all like, or
somebody that I just trust dearly, like I know they
ain't gonna use this. I got a big brother, Bam.
I vent to him about everything that you know what
I'm saying. I vented him about everything. My brother table
he lost his baby mama. So we shure the same hurt.
We share the same pain, like we like last week

(46:21):
we was on the phone crown with each other because
of the situation. And it's like, Bro, like get out
of memory. I'm telling him to get out of memory, Like, Bro,
I want through them. I'm like, Bro, I'm gonna help you.
I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna get you the house.
I'm gonna get you to come and get you set up.
I'm gonna put your daughter in school, like we're gonna
were gonna figure this situation out because he having a
hard with his daughter, like adjusting to this her mama

(46:43):
being gone right now. So it's like I can understand.
I'm automatically his shoes. You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
So you built like it's almost like a support group. Yeah,
gotta support you figured out your I got another.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
I got another one of my homeboys I grew up
with his name Shad. He lost his baby mama too,
you know what I'm saying. So it's like he was
like he called me for advice, like he lost a recently.
He called me, like, bro, how you deal with it?
Like how you you know what I'm saying. I got
a song hurt Man. Like it's a song called hurt Man.
I'm speaking on the like like I hit table for advice.

(47:16):
Ask me. He's like, no amount of money gonna be
able to fix that. No matter what type of bag
you get in, what you're gonna be happy for. Man,
you're gonna be happy, gonna get through it. But you're
still gonna think about this. You never finna forget about this, bro.
First of all, because you got kids, you know what,
you got to carry them. You gotta tok them. So
it's like I'm getting to that point, like getting them

(47:37):
out of town, seeing different stuff, putting a smile on
their face. But you know how it is.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
How do you do that? How do you how do
you put smiles on it?

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Like?

Speaker 2 (47:47):
What's that? What's a normal day in the house?

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Like, you know, I gotta I gotta humbly speaking, I
got a big I got a nice house. You know
what I'm saying. I got a big house. So we
run through the house. I'm playing with them, We jump
in the pool, we were I got four wheelers, I
got the fund. Yeah we all. Yeah, we get active.
We get active, and I take them. I go like
I take my girls on dinner dates. Try to let
them know, like this, how you like, Oh, I love that.

(48:11):
That's how your man suposed to treat you when you
get in there. Because you know, my daughter, like I said,
she's fourteen, I gotta go and paint their pictures. She
might she might take me, dad, daddy, can we go
to the nail shop today? Why not? You know what
I'm saying. It's probably four minutes away from the house,
you know what I'm saying. So there's like stuff like that,
you have to do that.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
You go on daddy.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Yeah, I take fact. Yeah, I took him on a date.
You know, we ate and then my boys, you know,
we do the rough stuff. You know, they into baseball football,
So I go to baseball games. I go to football
just supportive. You know what, even if I got if
I'm craym will work, I still just figure out. I
pause it for two three hours and let me go

(48:49):
do that. It ain't gonna hurt because I do how
I do, how do my songs, and how I do
my stuff. It's like, ain't gonna hurt.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Ain't hurt nothing we had. I did an interview a
couple of weeks, a couple of episodes ago with Kelly Clarkson,
who had been through a bad voice and stuff, and
she was talking about how she she lets her kids know,
because everybody's different about this with their kids. She lets
her kids know when she's going through something. Are you
that typing?

Speaker 1 (49:13):
She's like, yeah, this is what I'm doing, like right now.
And it was like like like having this conversation, Okay,
I'm straighten up for them, like all right, so it's
like I'm just cranking it up, like I'm just getting
into the modes and like really like getting into their
life because it was almost over fear, Like I was

(49:34):
more feared like and I say they because like they
was like my three kids. They were with their mama
all the time, and it's just all kinds. I was
almost scared to almost know certain stuff because how I
might reactle how I might take it if I'm making
sense to you. And it's like my daughter, you know,
like too, She'll be like, man, it's crazy. I'd be

(49:56):
like what like talking about her mama, talking about the
mama situation, like just me, she used to love me,
blah blah blah. Jay. She went to a point where
she was like like saying she wanted something to happen
to her. I had to get it. I had like
she's ten, like you see what I'm saying. So I
had to like we and this talk right there, so
fresh you're talking about like before I got on the
flight and came out here and came to New York.

(50:19):
We just had to talk. She was just like it
was real emotional. You know what I'm saying that it
was tough.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
It was.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
It was a real tough situation. So that's why I be.
I be kind of scared, Like I be kind of
scared on stuff like that. But I but I got
to be. I'm daddy. I gotta be. You know, I'm
the man, so I gotta do that.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
The fact that your kids talk to you the way
they do says a lot about the type of parents
you are.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
No, for sure, they get to open up with my
little girl, my oldest girl. She she's just getting into that.
Like my other ones, they so vocal, be scary younger,
the younger ones they like super vocal, way vocal than her,
Like she quiet and to herself and we have to
get it out of and push it out over she

(51:00):
might go vent to a woman because I probably can't
answer certain questions. And she used to Mama too, like
they were like best friend. That why she taking it
so hard. She take it so hard too, So it's
like she was. It's like she don't she don't talk
too much. But I'm getting them edging. I'm getting it
in there and then you know, like I told you,
I got my brother. He lost his daughter, lost her
mama too, so he's telling me how to. He's helping

(51:23):
me how to like start conversation with her and get
that going.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Yeah, one day at a time, Yeah, for surely. And
you have prayer too, right, like you pray, pray hard.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
And I really be saying, like I don't know about
the other people and whoever else just claim they into
their life. I really see what I pray for because
I really like sacrifice, like for God, like sacrifice. I
put all my faith in God, and I really sacrifice
for God. You see what I'm saying, like like just
what I said, Like when I'm saying like rama don

(51:51):
ramadans well last last month, and I'm still going, you're
still doing you know what I'm saying. I'm still I'm
still fast, but I'm doing it like I'm doing it,
you know how I'm doing it. It's just like I
get my prayers get answered. God opened my eyes. I
see everything clear. I swear to God, I see everything clear.
Is like everything clear now, and it's like I'm almost

(52:15):
like this, so I'm fin to live like this exactly
how I might take two weeks off. I'm not fast,
but I feel like.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Health wise, if that's you probably should make sure.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
That I say, make sure it is okay to just
live like that every single day. But uh that what
I say, Like I might take two weeks a month
off and then get right back to it. But it's
like it's like when I'm when I'm in that world,
like when I'm eating and I'm doing drugs and other
stuff like that. It's like you.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Blind, Yeah, but it's the fast, and it's good because
I get it used to fast too. It's like good
with discipline and especially when you it's for spiritual reasons.
But you can lock it with God without having a fast, exactly.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Sure, for sure it didn't happen before I locked in
with them men time a lot of times.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Whatever fast it's got you here, it's amazing.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
I don't get me here like I didn't got through
some sticky situation. Exactly. I didn't got through some sticky situations.
And a lot of people like, bro, you is like
like the people that's the guys beside me, they be like, bro, you,
I ain't never seen nobody strong with you. I ain't
gonna lie. It's like they say, they say they never
seen nobody strong with me, like real tight, Like bro,

(53:26):
we can't tell you going through stuff. You see what
I'm saying, Like I'll be that great, I'll be that
good at like just being a role mode is just
covering it up. Like man folk look up to me.
I can't let the I got artists like Defoe saying
to me, I can't let them see me like this,
Like they can't see me like this. Of course that's
what That's what the shower for us. It is what

(53:47):
the bathroom for. It's what the song.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
You go to the gym, I'll be ready way just
for your team if you ever go to the bathroom
when you're in there too long, somebody finn.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
I just broke the ice, I confessed. Gat me, Yeah,
I gat me. At least I ain't doing nothing else
when I go on in.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Because people go to vicens, people go to drugs.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Exactly, run to drugs in the bathroom. You know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
You said that in one of the songs because I
got a little they sent me a sample of a mixtape.
You said that in one of the songs about FANOYL
and drugs.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
And oh yeah, feeling like feting all on the street,
Like that's what's going on.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
How did you start that song? It was I can't
remember write the second something about.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
I said what I say, what is more get nauseous?
You know, take taking these drugs.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
Taking these drugs like you're not taking on drugs right now.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Because you not for sure. I'm clean, but you know
I have. I can talk about it because I've done it,
and I do it, you know what I'm saying occasionally,
But I ain't doing no like no crazy. We're doing
the norm like drank weed, you know, yeah, stuff like
they might pop up here in there, Oh my god,
get the hanks off. You know. It ain't nothing to
throw me, ain't nothing to throw me out.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
I r L does not support or condone ye stay
away from for any reason. We don't need you tapping
into vices because when you go through trauma and grief
and all that type of stuff.

Speaker 1 (55:16):
But it do it puts you and on this song
more sick on speaking, it's like the outro, that's the
last song. I'm saying stuff like at the end, I'm
talking like I'm telling them why did it took me
two years to not put out music? Why it took
that long? And what I was doing running to Sometimes
when you're going through a lot of stuff, you run
to drugs like weed, peels and drunk. You know what

(55:39):
I'm saying. But I'm taking this thinking it's gonna cure
me because it's supposed to be medicine quote unquote medicine,
and it's making me more sick. You get what I'm saying.
So that's how it even came up with their whole
title the.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
Very easy to slip into an addiction when you and
you got undealt.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
With and then the will draws. It's terrible doing dealing
with that. Been through all it because I like when
I first came in, that's what made me get my
physique together and just try to stay in the gym
and start to stay focused of just being on the
stage being full of drink before I go perform, just
a fat slob and just stomach. I got a video
I can show you. You probably won't even believe it's me. Wow,

(56:17):
And it's just like I overcame this situation.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Yo, what is this motivation?

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Like?

Speaker 2 (56:22):
Where do you get that from?

Speaker 1 (56:23):
What is that? It's really like I said, it's a
disciplined thing. It's just prayer and it's just me. I
just know what I want to be. I look at
certain things like the workout stuff. I'd be like, I'll
be on Instagram. You know the reels come through. I
look at the reels and I see man got their
stuff together, They got their get my you know what
I'm saying. Sometimes I have to look at that. Don't
get mine together. You know what I'm saying, Get you

(56:44):
some discipline, to give me some discipline to get my
stuff together. Then don't finish go on tour. You don't
want to look weak on them pictures, and you don't
want to look you want to look good. You want
to know what I'm saying. You want to look like
who you supposed to be.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
What do you see for yourself?

Speaker 1 (56:55):
Like what is the like? What what is the thing?
Looking to get right? They finna see me? I got
the tour coming up.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Physically, I mean your whole life, like with your kids
and you just you as a man, your business, artist,
a dad, a partner, and like where do you see
I don't know five ten years like what do you
what do you say? What are you working towards?

Speaker 1 (57:19):
I'm working to it. I'm just continually carving my legacy
and and just you know, changing the narrative, changing the
narrative on from somebody coming from Memphis, you coming from
just the good a part of myths. This is another thud.
He's face, his face tatted up, his tattoos everywhere. He
looked too gangster. He looks he was like a monster.

(57:40):
You know what I'm saying, I'm changing it up. You
know what I saying, changing their whole narrative, like, oh,
the restaurant Cachet forty two. You know what I'm saying,
the land Did you feel like that?

Speaker 2 (57:50):
Like people look at you like a monster at some.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Point, like I hear that through people be like, bro,
you mean like they'd be like you, like you mother,
go just straight face mafia you poker face scared, scare people.
And then it's just like right now, this with this
whole rollout and everything I'm doing right now, it's just
like I ain't letting you all the way in because
you never can get them everything. You can't do that

(58:13):
on the vice. Nobody is watching us to do that.
But you have to open up. You have to open
up and let them know like you hearming too, Like
I go through with you on you, I go through
what you go through at a higher level on a
bigger scale, on a bigger scale in my life, like
on the on the microscope, and it's it's way different.
Like so stuff that somebody normal regular might do, an

(58:35):
average Joe, he ain't gonna get the backlash or anything
I'm gonna get mm hm. So you gotta like learn
how to clean up your egg and get right.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
You push it through though, like you need an award.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
You don't get no real nigga ward. They don't get
no real nigga wards out what you need.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
You should start that award ceremony.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
It'll be hard. How do I start.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Up? First of all, get it copyright, like, get a
get a stamp, just give me a small piece because
I feel like this is someone my idea, but you
can do whatever. I trust you. I trust you to
be fair. You start and then you pick them. It's
something to this. You could let already come out and
she could be like the hostess.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Bed. That's a great idea. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
You can put it on YouTube once. It could be
on any platform you want. Once a year. You did
it apart ceremony, you get got involved.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
I got you know, I got the relationships, Now the
resources I can I can pull it off.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
I love this for you.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
I love this for you. How much?

Speaker 2 (59:44):
How much of that gets you excited? Like business and
ideas and I like got.

Speaker 1 (59:49):
I'll tell you that. Anybody that's around me, they'll be like, bro,
you super creative. Like all my videos I do that,
Like I come up with them treatments. I come up
with these ideas. How you finished see stuff going down?
With these videos and everything I'm using right now, it's
like my ideas, Like I read them. I'm all way
in it. I'm on the front line by man, Like, yeah,

(01:00:09):
I don't just sit down and wait for somebody to
do something for me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
What about connecting with God? It was this something because
I imagine he's similar, like he's clearly.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Oh and got it most definitely. Or he give me
great ideas too. I don't want to take all the
full credit of credit, but he give me a lot
of great ideas. And even if I bring it to him,
he'll twist it be like how a beut we do it?
Like this, this and it and like and you. It's
just a great thing with God. It's just a great relationship.
He just always listen in my corner. At the end
of the day, he always my best interest, and some people,

(01:00:39):
like a lot of people don't even get this far,
like we didn't get fought, Like we didn't with this,
this whole journey, journey, we didn't came far from twenty seventeen.
We didn't get fought. And I just say, because I'm
not in competition with God. God is not in competition
with me. He's not trying to hold me back. He
wanted to see me bigger. You know what I'm saying.
You want to see me bigger than him. Damn there.
So it's just like you feel what I'm saying. It's

(01:01:01):
like and this is where people bump heads a lot,
when you see CEOs and artists falling out and they
mad about this is because somebody's in competition or ego
egos but got it led out to like, bro, I'm
with you right or wrong. So however you I'm gonna
lea it out to you like this if you want
to go your way.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Hey, was it hard for you to trust him?

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
Trust the process? Yeah? Because you like coming trust and
trust coming from the screee, Like you hear stuff like that?
What made me want to take the chance to coming
from the screee. You hear stuff like, man, don't sound
on't got it, don't sound we got it? Bro, you
can Man, You're gonna be bigger than that. Don't do
that and don't he he what about this artist? What
a rest? What about either other man? That man? Ain't like?

(01:01:40):
That is not it? Man? That ain't that ain't true.
None of that ain't even true. You feel me, You
control your freuture like literally like you control your freachure.
And I'm in the world saying it right now. I
literally like he put it. He put it to you
like that. You can do it or you can go
by this however you might think, go just do it.
You feel me?

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Was there any pressure in the past two years for
you to like get back to work?

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Yeah, most definitely, like he and he was like he
was it, Like what I said that letter was more
than the letter was more than just to my fans.
It was people that was like in my corner. They
was lost at one point, they was lost, like got it? Like, bro,
what you ain't never took this long? You ain't never
like what's going on? Talk like talk to me?

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Like did they know what was going now?

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
They knew what was going on? But the I told you,
I do so much of a great job covering it up.
They didn't even know it was affecting me how its
affected me, Like you feel me? I do good at
covering it up.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Check on your strong friend.

Speaker 1 (01:02:40):
Check on your people. You feel me? So it is
what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Yeah, yeah, I love that partnership. It's nice to see
that great partnership.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
I love it, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
So I have questions that I ask everybody on every
episode of this The first question I asked, and I'm
almost scared to ask you this question, especially.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
As m b RO.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
It's not raw. It's very simple. It's like a super
basic question I asked. They asked me. By the way,
I was having a really bad day today and my
team knows the shout out to Evan, who's doing the pictures.
I when I walked in, he was like, how happy
are you? On a scale of one to ten, I
was like, I'm a three, fow I was a three
when I walked in. I was having a bad day
today and I had.

Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
A little situation that was a whole bunch of shit.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
It was just a weird day. I feel good. I
don't know. I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed
to be doing. And I like this conversation. I feel
I don't know, I feel like I'm being used in
some type of good way, in a good way, you
know what I'm saying. So that picks me up to
I would say right now, I'm be twenty six and
seven Right now, I would say I'm at a six
and seven. That's good. Right, it's on a scale of

(01:03:47):
one to ten. How happy are you right now right now?

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
Just the whole environment? I say eight?

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
Really? Oh, I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
I say eight this morning? Two just telling up like
I've been up all night. So that's that's the reason
to all night. Just just how I to be living,
like you know what I'm saying, so boom and then
I just got an emotions got in, traffic got going
like you know what, I feel good. Everything out I'm

(01:04:18):
gonna talk about it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Feel better to let everything out with It's weird for
you to be sharing so much.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
Like no, I feel like I feel like they need to.
I owe my fans that. I feel like I owe
my fans and my the listeners, the viers, whatever, you
know what I'm saying, I owe them. I hold them
to say something like should I've been gone two years. Yeah,
two years without doing nothing, like no interviewers, No, I
ain't did nothing in two years.

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
I believe that, And this is one of the reasons
I even created this podcast. I believe that us telling
our stories and sharing it what we're willing to. Like
you said, you know, you keep whatever you keep, But
I think I think it helps other people who are
in situations.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Get through because I'm, like I said, the road model position.
People look at this and be like, bad going, You
were going through that, bro spunk, Yeah, motivation.

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
So what is the thing Because when I look at
your life and I think about this past year, like
trauma and grief really yeah, like somebody who's maybe going
through that right now, who's in the trenches of that,
Like what what do you think is the one thing
that that has lifted you up or helped you get
through it?

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
Like I said, like I really don't, Like I really
had to just give all it to God really just
he the reason. Just praying and just getting through it,
just praying and just just staying focusing, like and He's
making you you don't even know you're getting stronger at that.
You don't even know you're gonna turn out like this,
but you finally wake up and one day and like
my goal time. Hm, there's gold time and that's what

(01:05:47):
I made. Right now, I'm in an upcoming artists mode.
I'm doing everything.

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
You're a new artist out here.

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
I'm a new artist out here. I want you to
look at me, money bag. You're like, he's a new
artist right here. You know what I'm saying, don't hold
me nothing to the old bad I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:06:00):
So we drop this mixtape and then is there another?
Is there more? Is it like an album?

Speaker 1 (01:06:04):
It's a mixtape. That was saying, I'm a mixtape mode.
Im back freestyle and I'm back just then I'm letting
it out, letting the world in.

Speaker 2 (01:06:12):
In real life. How important is money to you?

Speaker 1 (01:06:16):
Money, money bag? Yo, No, money is important because I
mean you need it to survive. You know what I'm saying, survive.
You got you need money to survive. But I don't
do everything for money, like you don't supposed to do
everything for money. All money ain't good money. You have
to know the difference. You have to know how to
maneuver through that. You got to know how to see
that and spot that, like hold up and when you

(01:06:38):
hear it, not even if like it. It's in visual,
like you gotta know how to hear it and be like, no,
I ain't doing it. Not much crazy stuff. I only
even ain't gonna I ain't gonna speak on that, like
I ain't gonna get deep into it. You know how
much crazy stuff people offer me to do for money.
I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I know
who I am.

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
What's the line? Then?

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
How do you know? Because it's automatically like that not
who I am. I'm not feeling like why would I
do that? I don't make it makes sense? You see
what I'm saying, like make it. Some people like for
this amount of dollar amount of dollars and I'm gonna
go let me. You can't move like that. It's goofy,
you know what I'm saying. It's goofy. That's a goofy

(01:07:18):
move the show showing me who you is? You know
what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
In real life, if today was if this was it,
today was the last day, what would you what would
you be?

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
Because you said.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
Life if today was the last day, like yes, what
would you do? How would you spend it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:38):
Well? Al most definitely won't be here doing this interview.
But that's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:07:43):
I won't be offend, but you might because you want
you might want your legacy. You might want people to
know you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
If matter of fact, I'm glad you said that I
would be doing this interview with all my kids in here.
I'll do this interview with all my kids sitting behind
me right here. Let them know what I'm saying. Chime in,
jump jump in. You know you feel me. You know
what I'm saying. So that's how I really spend it.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
What would they say about you?

Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
They love me like they overly love their daddy. You
know what I'm saying. I never tell them no unless
it's about your grades or they or your mama called
me and you've done something. I got to discipline you.
I can't make you think it's sweet like like I'm sweet,
Like it's easy. So just part of being a part
of being about being a father. I'm sorry. And it's
like I love them, they love me. Here's what it is.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
That's the best thing in the world. Like that alone
is your legacy. That your kids just adore you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:36):
For sure. It makes me feel good. Like when I
come in, like they jump up like be that type
of ain't no fair you, no captn you, no cap
They be just daddy like it'd be like it's crazy.
I'd be like, somebody love me.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
That's a different type of love.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Somebody love me?

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
Sure in real life? What do you like most about yourself? H?

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
I kind of like that I beat I play defense.
I kind of like I play defense all the time
because I don't just like, first of all, I don't
believe it just starting nothing, and then I'm glad, like
I'm observer, Like I'm observed and I'm happy. I listen.
I love all of it about me, Like I listen,
I'm observable. I know how to take constructive criticism. Yeah, basically, what.

Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
Was the last constructive criticism you've got that was good? Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
That constructive criticism I had? Let I let alright hear
a song I was trying something. I was in my
singing bag. She was like yeah, She's like no, She's
like yeah, no, like literally like maybe if you go
a little soft or you do it like but coaching me,
but no, but you're going too high. You're going too

(01:09:48):
and you think and then it's one song on that
she loved right now. It's called no Show like you
can hear it on her like you can hear like
I go up, I go up on it, and it's
like but it's not. It's like iry friendly And she's like, okay,
that's the pocket.

Speaker 2 (01:10:05):
Do you trust her opinion?

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
Like she loved music, Like I trust she loved music
for sure. Yeah, like this ain't what the females ain't
gonna turn off to this. I ain't gonna do this.
I ain't gonna do that. She's gonna keep it tight.

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
This is my last one in real life. What do
you hope people learn from your life? Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:10:28):
Kind of what you said, kind of what you said,
like like you can you can cover it up all
of it. But it's okay to cray. It's okay to
be you know what I'm saying, who you is okay
to be human like a normal person. You know what
I'm saying. You just you gotta know how to cope
with certain situations. You know, I gotta know how to deal.
You gotta know who to vent to, you know what
I'm saying. Got to be real careful with that. And

(01:10:49):
just if you got a career, I'm sorry with career
if you got stuff, you know, country, I talk I'm
a real country country that might trip over where it's
trying to get right. So like if you got there
going on, forgot something going on for yourself, I just say,
like you just force it on them, like you just

(01:11:10):
stay motivated and just force it on them, stay hustling
no matter what, don't never let just keep I pray
for a tun of vision, and I don't want to
see nothe on the side of me. I want God
to keep me like this, like because you know they're
gonna do this. I want to stay like this the
whole entire time, you know what I'm saying, going to
the end goal and it's a hard it's a hard task. Now,
it's a hard task because somebody says it the wrong stuff.

(01:11:31):
You're gonna turn over it, You're but it might cast you.
So you got a thing like that, Like it might
cost me if I do that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:38):
So you pray for tunnel vision.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
I pray for a ton of vision, pray for confidence.
I pray for more and more awareness, you know what
I'm saying, awardness, you know, And I ask God to
reveal stuff to me like I want to see. I
want to see it, like, don't have it forbody got
to be able to take this. I already I took
pain already, I'm dealing with it. You tell them you're
showing me I'm strong. You know what I'm saying. So
I know you know feel me you are. Thanks.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
Check on your strong friends people. That's one thing I
learned from you today. I don't know how you doing this.
I'll be honest, I don't know how you just like
you seem so good and so.

Speaker 1 (01:12:13):
Like Yeah, a good move. I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
I love that today. God bless you man, Thank you
for sharing your story today. I can't wait to hear
all the music. Go Hard to Love money Bag Yell
in Real Life Man, Real Life The Realist spots

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Angie Martinez

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