October 29, 2025 • 48 mins
Rapper Saweetie joins Angie Martinez on the show to discuss her latest EP, ‘Hella Pressure.’ This opens up a conversation about the pressure Saweetie feels as a Grammy-nominated artist in the public light and the pressures she felt growing up. Saweetie also talks about how being “delusional” brought her to success. Finally, she shares with Angie Martinez her five minute rule for surviving online trolls, her relationship with her family, and Angie asks some In Real Life questions.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm just proud to be me, and I think that's
what I want girls to take away, like, just be
be proud to be you. I think that's the most important.
And I think through the experiences of my early status
in life, I think that's what just made me comfortable
in my own skin. So it's just like you don't
like me, but I like me, and that's what matters.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This episode is brought to you by boost Mobile. Today
on IRL, we have rapper, songwriter, actress, entrepreneur, a Bay
Area original behind hits like Icy Girl, My Type Best Friend.
She turned her vision into ventures and hustle into reinvention,
moving from viral freestyles to platinum records, sold out stages,
(00:49):
Billboard runs. She's headlined brand collaborations across beauty and fashion
and philanthropic initiative supporting education and community. A two time
Grammy nominee.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Waiting is here today.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I was like, oh, I did I did that? And
that Okay, I'm not a side girl. You gotta go
ahead and do that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I love that. For you, what are you most proud of?
Of everything you've done so far?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
What am I the most proud of? M I would say,
my recent project Hella Pressure. I know it sounds very marketing,
no no, but I think that it's the first time
where there's two songs on there that I really love,
where I really found songs that weren't a sample that
I felt like it was me only because I felt
(01:37):
like my niche has become sampling. However, I do want
to get to a point where it's an original beat
and it's like, oh, this sounds like a Sweetie record.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You don't want to be just stuck in one thing.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
No, absolutely not, because I think that as artists either
grow or you don't. And I think that through my evolution,
I realized that I can't always just do sample songs.
If I'm being real. You know, I loved to do them. Yeah,
it provides for you, thank you, and I'm not gonna stop.
But I wanted to really challenge myself and yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Love that for you. And the project is Hell the Pressure.
I know that's the title, But what is the what
season of your life are you in? And what do
we see on this album?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Through this journey in my career, I've overcome hurdles and
challenges and always roast the occasion. You know, my parents
raised me like that, like don't back down, just get
through it. So I think that if I was to
like label this air in my career, it'd be like
being under pressure.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
What is the pressure though? Is it pressure that people
put on you, a pressure you put on yourself like
both funthoth? But what is that? Because people may not
know the inside of your life.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Right with my release of Icy Girl, it almost broke
me into the industry instantaneously to where it went from
I'm just doing it for fun. So now I'm being
compared to all these people to now being critiqued and
just like wait, hold on, hold on, I just got here,
pump the break. Let me enjoyed a moment. But you know,
the industry is an industry, so you know, I'm very competitive.
(03:08):
So if I'm not performing at a level I feel
like I should be performing it, I'm taking the pressure
that's given to me externally, and then it becomes internal
pressure because I'm internalizing all of these emotions.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I wonder for you, as like an artist is like
its fan pressure. It's like label pressure, just expectations, people
pitting you against other people. I just wonder, like, what's
been the toughest part of that to get through for you.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I think it's the culmination of all of them. I
think that there's healthy pressure, you know, because pressure pressure
is when you challenge yourself to be better, and when
you challenge yourself to try a new sound, or when
you challenge yourself to think outside of you know, your
previous thinking habits. So I think that when you use
it and you're like, okay, I'm growing myself to be
a better human, a better artists, a better woman, it
(03:54):
has positive results. But if you're just internalizing all of this,
all of these critiques, sometimes it can affect your mental health.
So I think it's good to just take the pressure,
you know, with the grain of salt.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
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Unlimited plan. The last episode we did carry Hilson and
we were talking about because she went through a lot
of shit in her career. Yeah, but she came in
her career social media wasn't what it was, and then
it became what it was. While she made some mistakes,
and you know, when you're an artist in your public figure,
now it's just a different level of scrutiny, eyeballs, all
(05:10):
that stuff. But you came in and it was already
like that. Yeah, like out the Gay Day one, they
put you on a little platform for everybody to have
an opinion about a thing. I just wonder what that
immediate time was like for you adjusting to that.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Honestly, it's terrifying, but it's made me mentally strong, mentally tough,
because now I see things and not just be like
all right, then go about my day like y'all just trolling.
And I hope that everyone can like adopt that perspective
of social media because a lot of people, if they
don't realize that they're harming a lot of people hearts
and minds. They're just doing it for clickbait, They're just
(05:49):
doing it for reaction, they're just doing it for dark humor,
whatever it is, at the expense of someone's mental health.
If we were able to look at it from that lens, like, Okay,
these people have nothing else to do with their lives,
why they're doing it. I think it'll save a lot
of people. But I know what it feels like to
be trending for days or weeks, people just talking.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
What do you do when you what do you do?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Where I just delete that app? You have to, because
if it's tempting and it's habitual to like wake up
and just click on it and then you're reminded of
this is what they're talking about. But it takes real
discipline because you know, sometimes you feel disconnected, but you know,
delete the app, talk to talk to people who love
you and who uplift you, and actually talk about what's
(06:31):
going on in your mind just so that you're not
festering it.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
That's so good that you're able to do that, because
sometimes people hold all that stuff in.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Well, what you've been through it so many times, it's
just like you don't want to continue to be in
that same position over and over again because it's detrimental
to your mind.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, you seem from the outside to manage it well,
do you not?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Or not? I manage it?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Well, you do?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I think that's one of my superpowers, is it?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah? Well, then you should do like a class or
something a mentorship program where you teach people how to
do that. I would like to. I would like, what
is the number one What is the number one tip?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
You would say, Let me think about one of my
case studies. Okay, you have a few that I got
a few. Let me do it with responding, right, Yeah,
so I gotta roll. I gotta roll for myself, right,
I wrote. If I want to respond to something, I
(07:25):
get myself a five minute timer and if I still
feel intensely about that reply, then I'll post it five
minute rule. I set my timer, not because I'll be like,
some of my responses are so crazy and I'm really
happy that I wasn't impostive with it, but you know,
like sometimes I might be a different girl five minutes later.
(07:45):
So I really for myself that way. And so like
when I post something and it's a reclad back or response,
like I'm standing on it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, you meant that I had time to think about it.
It was premeditating, it was okay. So number one rule
of managing outside noise and trolling and things like that
social media is to give yourself a five minute rule.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
If you want to respond, you want to respond if
you just being torn up on the internet just to
lead the apps, because you're not doing anything for yourself.
You know, you're only just like feeding yourself these things
that are negative. But what I like to do is
I like to talk to my parents, like, hey, this
is happening or so and so this and that, Like
they give me like some of the best advice.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
That's so good. Your mom your parents are young too, right,
they had you young? Yeah your mom was I think
I've heard that somewhere she was seventeen, right, Yeah, So
you guys are kind of like, I don't know, I
have friends that are like fifteen years to age difference.
So like my friends, uh, huh. So you guys are
still close enough where she can understand probably your life, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And what's interesting about that is like I've gotten too
a place where I'm comfortable in like my adulthood and
womanhood to just tell her everything now. So hearing her
feedback is really fun because at first, I was like
kind of uncomfortable because you know, we didn't have a
kind of talks when I was a kid, you know,
whether if there was like personal or just about my
(09:05):
other friends or about what I was going through. I
was very private, very like quiet yet guarded with my stuff.
But now I tell her stuff and her advice is
just so good.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm like, you should have a podcast, give you mama podcast. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
She's a very very wise woman.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's really cute. She must be really proud of you.
And what about when you're going through things? How does
that affect um?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I think it relieves them to know that what they
know what I'm going through, that I'm okay. I think
when we have long streaks of just like not talking
to each other, that's when they start to like wonder
and worry. But as long as I'm communicating with them,
they're fine. I just feel like, my parents are really wise.
I tell them all the time, like, I really would
love to do a TV show on what you guys
(09:47):
went through because I just have so many like lessons
and like life stories that they can like, you know,
compare it to or just like plain no good advice.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, so plain no good advice.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I love that you.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Started at what age?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Like how old were you when you knew that this
is what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I was writing poetry in middle school because I didn't
know how to express myself, so that was the only
way I could like get my thoughts out. But in
high school it's when I really fell in love with it.
I had Lime Wire and that's where I really like
discovered like Little Wayne and Nicki Minaj and their mixtape
era was just so crazy. So it really like made
(10:26):
me realize that rap, which is poetry over a beat.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
What were you writing about? What were your poems about?
Were they bad? Were the good?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
They were great?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I wasn't an Arab? What were you going through?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I would just talk about my day to day life,
you know, like.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
My crushes boys.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It could be that it could be about my astorations
because I've always been a big thinker, Like I've always
been a little girl with big dreams and I'm happy
that I've been able to fulfill them. But I've always
just been that person where I'm gonna do this. This
is not like I might have a bake cell, I'm
aa sell candy, I'm gonna go to usc Did you
do those? I'm gonna have a music career in like
(11:07):
entertainment you know. Yeah, yes, I did everything. And I
think it's because I'm a little delusional.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
They say, to be really successful, you have to be
a little No.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I really am, only because like sometimes when I talk
about things, people look at me like I'm crazy. I've
always just been like I'm gonna do this and that,
and I would just say it so casually. And one
day one of my friends were like, you know, I
love you. It's because you're delusional. But everything you say
you're gonna do, you actually do it. So I think
(11:40):
like God's blessed me with that, you know, a mind
to just feel like I can do anything I put
my mind to.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah, where did that come from?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Well, my my parents instilled like, you know, working hard,
doing your chores, getting good grades.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
You are your girl.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, what you do gir. I used to have a
box and standing on it and do the dishes like
I was like really young. They had me in the
kitchen real early.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
It's good though.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
But what's funny is my mom was talking to me
about that the other day. She sent me a little meme.
It was like, strict moms create successful daughters. I'm like, okay,
I'll give you that.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
You appreciate it back then, right, no, no, never let
me go out side, please let me live, get off
this box. Yeah, but she was right, so she did
something right.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah. I think there is a positive side district parents.
I think it teaches responsibility, accountability, and it teaches you
how to check the boxes off your list, get it
done and get it done.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah, and also says the thing that there's like an
expect they have an expectation of you, right, so it
makes you probably then accept expect things for yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Exactly like we're not expecting BC's and d Z want
as matter of fact, give me a plus. I'm like, dang, girl,
was it like that house was?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
When A was cool though?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah? Yeah, well I would hope. So yeah, but you delivered, man,
you showed up. You did it was it was no
fear in it. Did you have like fear coming into this?
Now you just know, like I'm a little happen. What's
been the biggest surprise, like the biggest thing that you
didn't expect dealing with, you know, the ups and downs
of fame that you've had to go through.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Okay, I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you like this.
I think that in the beginning of my career, I
was so like just happy to be like anywhere being interviewed.
So I was very like green and I would just
be super honest with my answers and just ah, you know,
like my name is sleeping, I figure out. But there'd
(13:39):
be so many times where it's just like I thought
that I was having a cool intimate moment with like
a platform or an interviewer, and they put out a
SoundBite that creates a bad narrative about myself and I'm like, you, mother,
I don't know, lunging about it, like I'm cussing them
out of my head. And I was like, how are
(14:00):
you so nice to me in this interview? But you
take this little moment that overshadows the entire amazing conversation
we have and you make it and you add it
to a narrative that isn't even true about me.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
That is the trash part of this business. Yeah, it
really is trash. I hate that for you. I hate
that for me because it makes my job harder too,
because an artist is scared and skeptical to like have
real conversations, which is what we try to have.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, but this, this isn't that. And I'm happy you
created a very safe space. Yeah, I appreciate like the
genuine intention behind it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Thank you. What about your inner like.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
What what you're gonna say?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
No? No, because, like you know, sometimes outside noise creates
our own narrative, Like you start almost sometimes if you're
not careful, you almost start seeing what the outside narrative
you see yourself in the way of that, you know
what I'm saying, Like people label you a certain way
you start looking at does it interfere with how you
see yourself? As I guess what I was as well.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
That's a really great question. And how like I've worked
with that or worked against it is Internally I'm like,
are you this person? Is it true? Do you believe this?
And if I say no, I'm like, okay, then that's trash,
like we're not going to pay attention to it. But
also how you combat it is you have to put
out things, whether it's music, content, interviews, to like control
(15:29):
your own narrative, which is why it's so important for
artists to speak up for themselves. H I love that
I said this in another interview before, but I recently
just had a studio session with someone and we were
talking and they were seeing how I was writing, and
they're like, do you purposely put out that other persona
of yourself? And I was like, what are you talking about?
(15:49):
And he was like, you're just way smarter than how
you're small to make you come off.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Sir, that's my art.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
But I can see where where that where that comes from,
because I feel like I'm really proud of my hiss,
but I could be more of surface to myself by
maybe becoming more vulnerable or really just diving into something
that I don't even know what I'm diving into yet.
I think because I'm by standard, very guarded, it takes
(16:18):
a long time to get information out of me, so
that's probably where the disconnect may come from. But it
was like I saw what he was saying, and he
was like, you need to show like more of this
side of you because there's more to you than your music.
And I'm just like, well, how do I do that?
But you know, it comes from being in a safe room,
really being able to pour into like the session, and
(16:39):
being honest, because if you're constantly with new teams, it's
just like you have to like re establish the connection
every time.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yes, I could totally understand that. And plus, I don't know,
I think for you too, you're probably still figuring that
out right. You're still you're still young, You're still like
your life is probably changing all the time. It's probably
like I don't know, it's probably just complicated. Did it
sometimes to share? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I feel like, yeah, I feel like in my mind,
I'm constantly rebranding myself, like who.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Would you last week?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Yeah? I feel like with new information, I just I'm
always applying it, at least in my private life. Like, yeah,
so my mind is constantly my wiels are always turning.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
She said, I'm constantly rebranding myself. I get that. Where
do you see the next Like if you're rebranding now
and you see that, like what is your vision for
yourself down the line, Like what are the big goals.
I know you've done acting and stuff like that already too,
but I'm just curious about Like everybody has a thing
they're chasing, what is that for you?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I mean, I do have like checklist goals, but I
really want my goal is to always just be able
to have a childlike perspective of art. And what I
mean by that. I love art, I love music, I
love all these things I come with it. But you know,
when you're finally in the industry, I feel like there's
just so many that take away from that joy and light.
(18:01):
I never want to lose that.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Oh that's good. The holiday season is upon us. I
know it came so fast, right, So one thing I
am working on in my home is trying to make
my home feel festive. And also I have a lot
of people over for the holiday, so sometimes that means
any extra chairs and things. And I started thinking about
my grandmother, my grandmother. I come from a family where
(18:24):
my grandmother would host every year with second cousins, third cousins,
and she had a very small home, but she hosted
a big party and everything in the house would be
dripping in holiday things. I mean everything for the toilet
had like a Santa Claus on the toilet. The napkins
in the house were Christmas napkins. I mean, if there
was an inch of her house, it was dripped in
(18:45):
holiday And I don't want to do that, but I
do like the idea of recreating that much joy and
that much festiveness in my home. And there's so many
things at Wayfair that you can get for that, and
they don't have to be like the Santa Claus on
the toilet, whether it's candles or tablecloths or just extra
(19:06):
seating because I do have extra people come in the house.
Folding chairs you can get great folding chairs at Wayfair.
And the good thing too is you can order that
stuff and it comes right to your house without having
a pay for delivery, which is super helpful or out
lugging it having to run to the store and get
all that stuff and packing in the car and then
pack it out of it. You know who wants to
deal with that. So for the holidays, really it is
a great It is my go to place for just
(19:28):
like judging up the house to feel festive around the
holiday season and also setting up to host to invite
people over, and the more people that are normally in
my house and to accommodate for that, which usually means
extra chairs. Maybe you wanted to get some new you know,
plates or tableware, and of course Wayfair has all that
great stuff and all the things to make you feel
(19:50):
really festive. So I'm gonna be spending a lot of
time with Wayfair over the next month getting my home
ready for there so you can take advantage of some
of these Wayfair deals that are going on right now.
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(20:14):
com and the sale ends December seventh. What are the
things that you love? What inspires you? What's out there
now that's that's giving you that?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Honestly, just living life, being outside with the people that
I love, checking out new artists and seeing what they're
doing because that inspires me. But yeah, I just never
want to lose that joy and that and that spark
to why you even started this in the first place.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
You really love it, right, I could.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Tell yeah, I do. Yeah, Like I love music. My
parents were big like music collectors, like when it came
to like my dad he was big on like the oldies,
R and B, hip hop rap, and then my mom
she listened to like alternative also hip hop two but
she was like also into like indie rock and rock
and roll. So it's just like you could literally place me.
(21:01):
And my friends tell me this all the time. You
could place me with any group and I could be
the DJ. You could djally DJ. I mean, I could
do a playlist, my playlist game.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
You should learn how to DJ. You'd probably be a
great DA. I would love how to DJ, but you
can learn bad fast. Yes, you should do it.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Sorry, somebody teach me.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I see that for you. I think you could do
that because you have like you love music I do,
and if you could play the different crowd, you could
kill that.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And you know, my new favorite genre is afro house,
Like I need to go a visa and live and
live out my afro house fantasy. I do. I I
wasn't able to make it this year. I was gonna
go for my birthday, but I had to work close
to my birthday, so I ended up not going. But
I love me some afro house.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
That's a vibe. See you know the bags you could
get for DJing out there? Let's get her I r
L bowl. These are real life questions.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Okay, I'll do one.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Keeps coming up? Maybe all right, what do you?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Oh my gosh, I love it?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I'm no longer available?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
But look, what is the question? What do you no longer?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I'm no longer available for the for the bullshit?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Okay, I literally don't argue with nobody anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
What do you mean? How do you do that?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Just be like you got it?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
What do you mean? Like?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
If you're not making any sense to me and you
have to and you have no basis to stand on,
I literally won't respond to you or I just will
just be like you got it. It's just so draining,
and I don't like talking to incompetent people.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It's so do you really do that? Because people say that,
do you really do it?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I'm a cancer. I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I can.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
And the reason why I say that, I mean even
if people ain't in so astrology, I feel like cancers
are mislabeled, as you know, overly emotional. But I think
that we have so much emotional intelligence, like my emotions
can go like this to like this in a split second.
Like I manage my emotions really well. And if you
want that bullshit, I literally would just tune you out
(23:09):
and chase the station. No, because like, why give yourself,
why devote yourself to all this this low frequency, low
vibrational conversation. Why give them that time?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
M hm? What did you say? You say to them?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
They say, you got it?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh, you got it.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I'm like, okay, you got it.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
You don't have to be right.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I'm just like, because if I'm really trying to explain
like my stance to and you keep cutting me off,
talking over me, your responses don't make sense. I'm just like,
you're incompetent.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
We had Kelly Clarkson on the Potter. She said something similar. Oh,
she said, her therapist told her, you do not have
to attend every argument. You can say I'm unavailable for that.
You don't have to attend. You don't have to I'm
unavailable to attend this. And I think this conversation, I
thought that was so good, just like you could just decide, yeah, no,
I'm not having this conversation. It's kind of similar to
(24:04):
what you just.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
And I agree with that because we have to realize
that we have an option to either continue with the conversation.
We're not continuing with the conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
That's good people say that, but I don't know to
really do it. I think I'm going to steal that
for something.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
I think when you give so many people the opportunity
and it's just only draining, it's just kind of like, Okay,
do I want to be drained or do I want
to be fulfilled?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Are you that strong in like like if it's like
if somebody you're dating relationships, are you that strong in
that as well?
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Or do you get Sometimes I want to say, I
was going to say you hear at the moment, you'd
be like, ho, not as good? You know, you know
it's a muscle that you got to work almost certain people.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I like that. What is another muscle that you've had
to work on? What are the muscles that you have you've.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Had to I'm being patient with anything in life because
I'm very impatient. But yeah, just go on with the
flow when it's meant to go with the flow. Because
sometimes when you try to control the outcome of something,
you're rushing it and you can't rush a blessing. So
I just have tried to be disciplined with my urge
(25:15):
to like be somewhere or to attain something or to
do something that I want to do, or there's something
in that nature.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Patience, Yeah, it's very It's one of my biggest really struggles. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I don't have no advice on patience. My damn self.
All right, take one more.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I'll do this. This is cool. This is a good question.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
They're good. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah, that's good for you. Wow, you're not afraid to
try new things?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
No, yeah, actually it'd be to learn salsa.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Oh my god, I love that for you.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah. I've taken some salsa classes, and every time I
get like three classes in, I always like stop, stop,
what would quit? I would say stop because I would
love to do it again. But yeah, sausage is so sexy.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
That's so funny. That was on my bucket list. Really,
I promise you it's on my bucket list. And I
for some reason, I took a couple of lessons once
and I was it was starting to like naturally click,
and then I fell off again too.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
So I have this in my song. I need some
insfo off my project. It's a very like Island song,
like my dream is a salsa in that music video.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
So do it? Yeah? Are you gonna do it?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, you just committed right, Yes, now you have to
commit it.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh you'll kill that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I think that would be fire.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I think sausage not only is it sexy?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Why that of all things? I'm so surprised. I mean me,
you know Puerto Rican. It's like I feel like I
should already know how to do that.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Well, I love the dance already, but sausage is just
one of those those classes that I've joined, and every
time I'm done with it, I feel so liberated. It
just feels like I've awakened the woman in me.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Where was she before?
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Right, you're supposed to be here all the time.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That's so funny. That's really good. All right, that's a
good bucket list. That's one of our IROL questions is
what is on your bucketst what about your legacy? What
do you think? How often do you think about your legacy?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
And I do want to stresses me out? You do?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Why?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Damn? It's just I think because I want to accomplish
so much so fast. This goes back to the patients thing.
I have to be like, it's okay, you know, everything
is in divine timing and just trust the process. But
when it comes to my legacy, there's a lot of
things that I do want to do. But as long
(27:41):
as I'm inspirational, like when the little girls look up
to like what I did, I want them to be
like she persevered, she was resilient, she rose to the occasion,
she did what she said she was going to do.
I think that's what I'd like to leave behind because
like inspiration is like one of the most powerful emotions
that somebody can have.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Who does it for you? Like, who do you look
to for those moments?
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Who do I look to for those moments? Okay, it's
gonna sound like a very a very I wouldn't say
it's basic because this is not basic at all. Honestly,
the lessons in my Bible app.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I love that it Just.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Know exactly I say that, I just saying, like, you know,
like there's typical answers, but it's a real thing that
I do. When I get super stressed out, I go
on my Bible app and they have like lessons attached
to different emotions that you're feeling, and I click the
emotion and then I read like the scriptures and like
the devotional lesson and they're good and they're great.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
What app is this? It's just is it called the Bible? App?
Why don't I have that?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It's brown with like gold letters on it.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
What was one thing? Give me the thing that you
that it recently gave you?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
To not worry? Because like in the scripture said, God
gives us the gift of peace, and that there's and
then there's scriptures that you can read to remind you
on how to you know, get rid of your worries
and to just live in peace because that's the gift
that's given to us. Because there's another quote where it's
like thinking about the past gives you depression, and then
(29:13):
thinking about the future gives you anxiety. Like I'm that person,
so I'd be like, God, help me please.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That's one of our questions too. What do you pray foremost?
Is one of the questions?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Peace?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Please?
Speaker 1 (29:27):
No? Because my mind, in my mind, there's just so
much going in it all the time.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
What is all that ticking going on?
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Well, like I said earlier, like I'm delusional. So it's
just like, Okay, I accomplished this, now I can go
accomplish this. Like I just have a bucket list of
things that.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Are just very ambitious.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That a very ambitious, but I know that if I
apply myself, I can get there because I've done it
before when I have the proof of concept for myself.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
There's one in the in there that I love. It's
a question that says, if God were to text you
right now, what would it say?
Speaker 1 (29:59):
It would say, Remember what I told you?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
What did he tell you?
Speaker 1 (30:03):
He told me a lot of things, you know. So
I grew up in the church. My grandparents are pastors,
so every summer they'd have like a prophet come. So
when I was thirteen, I wanted the prophets actually prophesied
that I would have a music career. Wow, And I didn't.
That's when I was writing poetry and I was like,
I want to be a hair stylist. And I was like,
(30:24):
what is she talking about? But literally the things that
she prophesies to me at that age has came true
has came to past.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Wow. So it was that you'd be an artist and
some other things private things I wonder what that prophet
told you. I want to see it was.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
It was very inspirational, but at the time none of
us understood, like what is she talking about? But it
came to past and I'm doing what she said I
would be doing.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Wow, I see it's really hard to get Yeah, and
a full scholarship. So you was like a for real
smarty pants like you was. The grades were good, what
else were you prepping for that? To get into a
school like that, it's not just good grades.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
You have to be a railround student. But I was
a transfer so I had transferred from San Diego State,
and essentially what made me a very like well rounded
student was the accolades that I had accomplished there. Like
I was the first tell you this is the funniest thing.
I'm like, DM, I tell you girl, like you really
(31:35):
did be going for the stars. I remember I was
so bored. I was like, you know what, I want
to be the mascot.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
You were the mascot.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
So I tried out and I was the first woman
that ever tried out to be the mascot. I made
the front of the newspaper because I had made it
down to like the final two. But they ended up
going with a guy. Oh yeah, it's sick about that
now crazy, but it was the first time a woman
tried out to be the mascot.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
And why did you want to do that?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Because I was bored girl to do something with my time.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
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Speaker 1 (33:42):
And then also one of my friends. Her name is
Maderia totally. She comes from the South. And what she
did is she brought over the drill like HBCU dance
team genre of dancing to a PCI and it was
the first time a PCI had did in California. So
I was a part of the first team that started
(34:05):
that type of dancing at a university in California. And
when I tell you what was happening, Oh my gosh,
I struggled so bad.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
What do you.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yes? I made a retraine off. I said, hey, can
you give me private lessons and I'll cook for you.
I told you I'm ambitious. I'm like, I'm gonna be
a great dancer. I'm like, I don't have it right now,
but you know, like I'm gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Did she go for it? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
She did. I would cook her pestel pasta and.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
She'd give you a dance lesson and did you get
to be better?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Absolutely? Wow?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Is there video of this somewhere? Potter? Is there a
video of this?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I actually went back last year for homecoming and I
danced with the girls.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
They must love to see you there. What's that like?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It was a full circle experience because we all danced
to my type. So it's just like here I am
performing a song and it reminded me of like all
the times I was in my dorms writing raps, and
it's just like wow, like I did what I said
I was gonna do.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Yeah, it's such a different person too, if you think
about even when you wrote my type, Yeah, you're probably
in a whole different space, right, like a whole different
or you still that girl.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
I feel like all of my songs are a piece
of my personality. Yeah, you never know what you're gonna
get with me.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I thought about you in that song earlier because I
saw Summer Walker today posted her with some guy at
the some older white guy or the thing, and she
said she was trying to change her type. I have
no type.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
You know, sometimes you have to go outside of your
type and see what life's like.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I wonder if your type has changed.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Definitely definitely, Hell, so what is the type now? A
type that's supportive. Actually, I've been in supportive relationships before,
so let me not say that to discredit, but my
type has definitely changed, so definitely, like one it's like, Okay,
we're not doing that no more. You know, what's interesting
(36:01):
about my type is that when people typically ask me,
like what is your type? My type is energy, Like
do we mesh? Are we compatible? Like? Can I spend
time with you? And can we have quiet moments?
Speaker 2 (36:14):
You know?
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Does it always have to be extra or can we
just be chilled too? Like I'm really attracted to like energy?
Speaker 2 (36:21):
That could be tricky sometimes. Really why yeah, because sometimes
guys could give you energy, you know what I'm saying.
It's not necessarily healthy energy, but it just be good energy.
(36:41):
Sometimes it's fun energy. It's not always necessarily the best,
the most.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
No. I think that's a good point because sometimes when
you meet people and it's in a lit situation like that,
vibe is amazing, but it's just like we're not going
to be parting twenty four to seven, you know. So
sometimes you know, in those moments because such it's a
great time, yah, you mistake it for you know, their
whole personality and you like, hold on, there's something else there.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
What's happening at home?
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Do you have a personality disorder?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
We don't want that for you.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
We don't not for anybody.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
We don't want that for you. I am curious.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I know you tried to act.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I mean you just did you didn't try? You did it? Yeah,
you did some acting.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
When it comes to acting, I would love to be
a part of like a franchise that has something to
do with action only because of my athleticism. I would
enjoy like doing my own stunts, but like something like
you know, with a with a heroin or maybe even
an anti heroin. But I really love the DC characters.
I typically dress up for them, like them for Halloween.
(37:45):
I didn't mistake I did Harley Quinn. Well you probably did,
Joker know that Joker. That was my like my first
masculine album, I mean album, my first masculine costume woman
music Mode. Yeah, because normally I'm super sexy. Last year
I was like, you know what, what's happened? So you
know another the other side.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Yeah, do you feel like people expect you to always
be sexy?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
No?
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Really, no no pressure. No.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think I'm just comfortable with my own energy. Sometimes
I might be a tomboy. Sometimes I might be dressed down.
Sometimes I don't feel like showing on my skin. Sometimes
I want to show on my skins.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
It's funny because this pribe you is about pressure, but
you seem to manage it pretty well. You don't let
a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
But I think pressure has just been a reoccurring thing
throughout my whole life. I feel like every major I
don't even know how you divide up your life chapters chapters.
It's a reoccurring theme and it shows up in different ways.
So as a little girl, I've always just knew how
to manage pressure really well, and I think it rolled
over until like my teenage years, it rolled over into
(38:49):
my adulthood really well. I feel like I've always been
under pressure.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
But what is that pressure? Like your kid? What was
the pressure as.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
A kid getting good grades, taking care of myself? And
then also just the pressure of being biracial. That is
a real struggle and it's really hard when neither community
wants to claim you.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Is that what you experienced?
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, that's what I felt at a really young age.
I felt like I didn't belong in either group, and
it really just made me feel like I didn't belong
in social environments because at home I felt love. I
felt like, oh, like race isn't even a thing. You
go to school it's just like, ah, what are you?
You know, it's like the names that come with it.
(39:32):
So I think that was difficult for me, the social
pressures of just being a kid at school, you know,
kids are mean, and also just the pressure of not
being in the same household as both of my parents,
And I think that it wasn't until I saw a
household with both parents in them that I realized that
(39:53):
my situation was normal. So I'm just like, why are
my parents at the same home?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Did they split early? You were younger, yeah, old enough
to see them together?
Speaker 1 (40:02):
No?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Oh, so you never even.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Saw that now, so I thought it was I didn't.
It was just a normal for me. You know, when
a kid is growing up, whatever they see is just
a standard. But it wasn't until like I saw my
friends have their parents and I'm just like, what's going
go at my house?
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Why are we different? Yeah, but you're close with your
dad right also, but still just not having a vision
of what a relationship is supposed to look like sometimes
I could make it more challenging as you get.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, So I think just as as a child, it
was the pressure of just all these ideas in my
head trying to make sense of my world. But also
I think what was tough for me was just like
I was always switching schools. It's bouncing in between households,
going to other households. You know, I've lived with my cousins,
I live with my grandma, I've lived with all these
other people.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
So why are we bouncing around someone?
Speaker 1 (40:52):
You know how the young parents that are separated, me
being indecisive. I want to go live with you. I
want to go live with you. You know. I was
never able to create a founder of like a real
sense of community, not until later on in life. Middle
school was tough, really, it was really tough. So what
had happened was is my mom had took me out
of the school that I was at and had brought
(41:14):
me to a school that was in a better neighborhood.
It was such a culture shock being like one of
the only black girls or colored girls, mixed girls at
that school because the school was like predominantly white. It
was almost like an identity crisis for me because it's
just what, Yeah, who am I? Why don't like these
people look different than me? They act different, they talk different.
(41:38):
It really just made me more introverted.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
When does that shift for you, like when did you
feel confident in.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Your Honestly, I felt like I found my identity and
I felt I felt like I finally belonged in the community.
When it came to sports, my mom like forced me
to go to volleyball tryouts. I'm like, I don't want
to go. She was like, just you know, she's a
scary woman. It's like, Okay, I'm gonna try out. But
(42:05):
I'm really happy to have had that experience, especially with
you know, team bonding, team building, because when it comes
to sports, it's like it just teaches you things that
you wouldn't learn anywhere else. So I felt like that's
where I found like a place where I mattered and
where I was respected and where I felt like I
(42:26):
was seen. Race didn't play a part at least for me.
It just was a group of girls who came together
and who developed this special synergy and I felt like
I had a role to play. And I feel like
that was the first time where I fit into a
community where it wasn't divided. Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful. I
didn't even think about that that you had probably been
(42:47):
through some of that. Do you feel like people connect
with you now because of that. I wonder if there's
some fans that see that in you.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I don't know. It's probably young Filipino girls, as young
Black girls. There's probably young mixed girls that all kind
of see themselves.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
I think what I've what I've taken from that challenge
is just to be proud, Like I'm proud to be
a Filipina, I'm proud to be to have some Chinese
and me, I'm proud to be an African American woman.
I'm as proud to be me. And I think that's
what I want girls to take away, like just be proud,
be proud.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
To be you.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
I think that's the most important and I think through
the experiences of my early stages in life, I think
that's what just made me comfortable in my own skin
because it's just like, you don't like me, but I
like me, and that's what matters.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
That's a clip right there. I ever heard a clip
you don't like me, I like you.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
It matters.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
What was the other thing you said before? But when
somebody doesn't make sense, if you don't want to argue
with them, you got it. Oh you got that, Yeah
you got you got it.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And it's so funny because sometimes you're having a conversation
and when you say that, it almost upsets them that
you that they don't you don't match their energy. Like
I'm okay, I'm not going to argue with you. You
got it.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I know that's a.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Mean. I know, I really do, because You're not gonna
drain me of my energy. I'm not going to participate
in this low frequency way.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Good for you?
Speaker 1 (44:19):
All right?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
What do people need to know about this project? I
haven't seen a lot of this stuff yet, so I
have to see what is the branding, Like what do
you what this? Well?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
The message behind it encapsules like the evolution of Icy
Girl to becoming this diamond because what is hell of pressure?
What does it create? It creates diamonds? And my name
is Demance. So I'm just like, wow, God, look at
all these things just aligning organically. And I'm really proud
of the song Pressure because I do address, you know,
(44:49):
some of the things that I was dealing with internally.
First of all, it starts off as a freestyle playing
homage to like how I first came into the game,
like just a straight rap, and then it like evolves
into like this beautiful I don't even know what kind
of genre you want to call it, but into like
this more colorful version, like towards the end of the song,
(45:10):
and I was like, this feels very innovative and innovative.
And I feel like as I grow with my career,
I have to become I have challenge myself with how
I approach, you know, the creativity of my music.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
I feel like twenty twenty six is when I'm really
gonna really just really just really girl what my mouth,
I feel like twenty twenty well, I know, twenty twenty
six is really when I'm really just gonna step into
the position I'm supposed to have. I'm still figuring out
what that is. But the pressure is still on. But
when it's my time to shine, those wings will be
(45:42):
big and bright.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Do you think that you're even that you've even hit
your stride yet? Are you still thinking of like alone? No?
Speaker 1 (45:48):
No, definitely not like the prophet. You know, she told
me a lot of things that I still have to accomplish.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
So that you have to live up to and live
up to.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
So it's a journey, but it's a journey that makes
me wise and stronger.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
We ask everybody on the on the pod in real life?
How happy are you on the scale of one to ten?
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Right now? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (46:08):
Ten?
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Tell me we had a good Conversation's great, I want
to talk to you. Yeah, it's a moment. It's almost
like this that you have to appreciate you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Are you do you normally run high? Like? Are you
normally a happy person?
Speaker 1 (46:20):
I like people, so I like having conversations. Yeah, this
is fun.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah, ten is great.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (46:26):
What takes you down? Like? What's something that could knock
your number down?
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Being hungry?
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Hungry?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yes, are you hungry now? No?
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I ate an epinado, mama.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
It was Chipotle mayo, a cheese steak.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
You are a foodie. I asked you about fashion Week
and you said, this food is so good.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
And fashion Week the food, the food, the little side restaurants.
I love to hit me like a little side question
after a show.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
You're a good cook too, right, Yeah? I like to
think so, Yeah, I believe you because you're a foodie.
I can tell you we should have got some good
food today, but you ate it, so you're good. So
we'll leave it like this. So like this, so today
is the last day on Earth? What would you be
doing and what would you eat?
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Oh my gosh, are you serious? Yes?
Speaker 2 (47:16):
So today was the last day? If God texted you
and be like, enjoyed today because this is it, this
is the last one? What would you be doing? And
what would you eat?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
So? I know my fans expect me to say seafood,
but honestly, I love Indian food. I want to I
will literally drink that yellow curry. That's how good it
is out of a glass, not out of the bowl,
Like I'll finish like what's in it? And I'll just
be like their curry is untouchable. I got love their spices.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
So you're going Indian food.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
I'm going Indian food?
Speaker 2 (47:48):
And what are you doing? What is your day? Like?
Speaker 1 (47:50):
What is my daylight? Like? What would you?
Speaker 2 (47:53):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (47:56):
So think we got girl? Oh okay?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
What she had, all that she gave me all that
energy on her last day?
Speaker 1 (48:06):
What am I doing on my last day? Oh? I
love to travel, so I like to be somewhere fun.
Tokyo was really fun. Love Yeah, but it would be
in a really fun city with my last favorite male,
with my with my favorite people.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Oh yeah, that's sweet. Well there it is.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Sweety in real life, everybody, Thanks you, every.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Hey, what's up y'all? This is Sweety and real Life.
Speaker 3 (48:34):
Hey guys, thanks for watching.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Make sure you subscribe, like comments, and check out all
of the other episodes we have on Edge. Martinez I
r OL Podcast
I'm just proud to be me, and I think that's
what I want girls to take away, like, just be
be proud to be you. I think that's the most important.
And I think through the experiences of my early status
in life, I think that's what just made me comfortable
in my own skin. So it's just like you don't
like me, but I like me, and that's what matters.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This episode is brought to you by boost Mobile. Today
on IRL, we have rapper, songwriter, actress, entrepreneur, a Bay
Area original behind hits like Icy Girl, My Type Best Friend.
She turned her vision into ventures and hustle into reinvention,
moving from viral freestyles to platinum records, sold out stages,
(00:49):
Billboard runs. She's headlined brand collaborations across beauty and fashion
and philanthropic initiative supporting education and community. A two time
Grammy nominee.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Waiting is here today.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I was like, oh, I did I did that? And
that Okay, I'm not a side girl. You gotta go
ahead and do that. I love that.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I love that. For you, what are you most proud of?
Of everything you've done so far?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
What am I the most proud of? M I would say,
my recent project Hella Pressure. I know it sounds very marketing,
no no, but I think that it's the first time
where there's two songs on there that I really love,
where I really found songs that weren't a sample that
I felt like it was me only because I felt
(01:37):
like my niche has become sampling. However, I do want
to get to a point where it's an original beat
and it's like, oh, this sounds like a Sweetie record.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You don't want to be just stuck in one thing.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
No, absolutely not, because I think that as artists either
grow or you don't. And I think that through my evolution,
I realized that I can't always just do sample songs.
If I'm being real. You know, I loved to do them. Yeah,
it provides for you, thank you, and I'm not gonna stop.
But I wanted to really challenge myself and yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Love that for you. And the project is Hell the Pressure.
I know that's the title, But what is the what
season of your life are you in? And what do
we see on this album?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Through this journey in my career, I've overcome hurdles and
challenges and always roast the occasion. You know, my parents
raised me like that, like don't back down, just get
through it. So I think that if I was to
like label this air in my career, it'd be like
being under pressure.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
What is the pressure though? Is it pressure that people
put on you, a pressure you put on yourself like
both funthoth? But what is that? Because people may not
know the inside of your life.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Right with my release of Icy Girl, it almost broke
me into the industry instantaneously to where it went from
I'm just doing it for fun. So now I'm being
compared to all these people to now being critiqued and
just like wait, hold on, hold on, I just got here,
pump the break. Let me enjoyed a moment. But you know,
the industry is an industry, so you know, I'm very competitive.
(03:08):
So if I'm not performing at a level I feel
like I should be performing it, I'm taking the pressure
that's given to me externally, and then it becomes internal
pressure because I'm internalizing all of these emotions.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I wonder for you, as like an artist is like
its fan pressure. It's like label pressure, just expectations, people
pitting you against other people. I just wonder, like, what's
been the toughest part of that to get through for you.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I think it's the culmination of all of them. I
think that there's healthy pressure, you know, because pressure pressure
is when you challenge yourself to be better, and when
you challenge yourself to try a new sound, or when
you challenge yourself to think outside of you know, your
previous thinking habits. So I think that when you use
it and you're like, okay, I'm growing myself to be
a better human, a better artists, a better woman, it
(03:54):
has positive results. But if you're just internalizing all of this,
all of these critiques, sometimes it can affect your mental health.
So I think it's good to just take the pressure,
you know, with the grain of salt.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
You ever notice how everything keeps going up? I mean
rent is going up, Streaming services are going up. Even
like your favorite burrito plays all of a sudden wants
to charge you for salsa. You go to the supermarket,
they want to charge you extra for the bag. It's
kind of crazy out here. The good thing is with
boost Mobile, you and your phone bill do not have
to play that game. You don't have to play the
will this go up soon? Game? Why? Because boost Mobile
(04:28):
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Only at boost Mobile. After thirty gigabytes, customers may experience
slower speeds. Customers will pay twenty five dollars a month
as long as they remain active on the boost Mobile
(04:49):
Unlimited plan. The last episode we did carry Hilson and
we were talking about because she went through a lot
of shit in her career. Yeah, but she came in
her career social media wasn't what it was, and then
it became what it was. While she made some mistakes,
and you know, when you're an artist in your public figure,
now it's just a different level of scrutiny, eyeballs, all
(05:10):
that stuff. But you came in and it was already
like that. Yeah, like out the Gay Day one, they
put you on a little platform for everybody to have
an opinion about a thing. I just wonder what that
immediate time was like for you adjusting to that.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Honestly, it's terrifying, but it's made me mentally strong, mentally tough,
because now I see things and not just be like
all right, then go about my day like y'all just trolling.
And I hope that everyone can like adopt that perspective
of social media because a lot of people, if they
don't realize that they're harming a lot of people hearts
and minds. They're just doing it for clickbait, They're just
(05:49):
doing it for reaction, they're just doing it for dark humor,
whatever it is, at the expense of someone's mental health.
If we were able to look at it from that lens, like, Okay,
these people have nothing else to do with their lives,
why they're doing it. I think it'll save a lot
of people. But I know what it feels like to
be trending for days or weeks, people just talking.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
What do you do when you what do you do?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Where I just delete that app? You have to, because
if it's tempting and it's habitual to like wake up
and just click on it and then you're reminded of
this is what they're talking about. But it takes real
discipline because you know, sometimes you feel disconnected, but you know,
delete the app, talk to talk to people who love
you and who uplift you, and actually talk about what's
(06:31):
going on in your mind just so that you're not
festering it.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
That's so good that you're able to do that, because
sometimes people hold all that stuff in.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Well, what you've been through it so many times, it's
just like you don't want to continue to be in
that same position over and over again because it's detrimental
to your mind.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, you seem from the outside to manage it well,
do you not?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Or not? I manage it?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Well, you do?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I think that's one of my superpowers, is it?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah? Well, then you should do like a class or
something a mentorship program where you teach people how to
do that. I would like to. I would like, what
is the number one What is the number one tip?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
You would say, Let me think about one of my
case studies. Okay, you have a few that I got
a few. Let me do it with responding, right, Yeah,
so I gotta roll. I gotta roll for myself, right,
I wrote. If I want to respond to something, I
(07:25):
get myself a five minute timer and if I still
feel intensely about that reply, then I'll post it five
minute rule. I set my timer, not because I'll be like,
some of my responses are so crazy and I'm really
happy that I wasn't impostive with it, but you know,
like sometimes I might be a different girl five minutes later.
(07:45):
So I really for myself that way. And so like
when I post something and it's a reclad back or response,
like I'm standing on it.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, you meant that I had time to think about it.
It was premeditating, it was okay. So number one rule
of managing outside noise and trolling and things like that
social media is to give yourself a five minute rule.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
If you want to respond, you want to respond if
you just being torn up on the internet just to
lead the apps, because you're not doing anything for yourself.
You know, you're only just like feeding yourself these things
that are negative. But what I like to do is
I like to talk to my parents, like, hey, this
is happening or so and so this and that, Like
they give me like some of the best advice.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
That's so good. Your mom your parents are young too, right,
they had you young? Yeah your mom was I think
I've heard that somewhere she was seventeen, right, Yeah, So
you guys are kind of like, I don't know, I
have friends that are like fifteen years to age difference.
So like my friends, uh, huh. So you guys are
still close enough where she can understand probably your life, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And what's interesting about that is like I've gotten too
a place where I'm comfortable in like my adulthood and
womanhood to just tell her everything now. So hearing her
feedback is really fun because at first, I was like
kind of uncomfortable because you know, we didn't have a
kind of talks when I was a kid, you know,
whether if there was like personal or just about my
(09:05):
other friends or about what I was going through. I
was very private, very like quiet yet guarded with my stuff.
But now I tell her stuff and her advice is
just so good.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm like, you should have a podcast, give you mama podcast. Right.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
She's a very very wise woman.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's really cute. She must be really proud of you.
And what about when you're going through things? How does
that affect um?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I think it relieves them to know that what they
know what I'm going through, that I'm okay. I think
when we have long streaks of just like not talking
to each other, that's when they start to like wonder
and worry. But as long as I'm communicating with them,
they're fine. I just feel like, my parents are really wise.
I tell them all the time, like, I really would
love to do a TV show on what you guys
(09:47):
went through because I just have so many like lessons
and like life stories that they can like, you know,
compare it to or just like plain no good advice.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, so plain no good advice.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I love that you.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Started at what age?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Like how old were you when you knew that this
is what you wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I was writing poetry in middle school because I didn't
know how to express myself, so that was the only
way I could like get my thoughts out. But in
high school it's when I really fell in love with it.
I had Lime Wire and that's where I really like
discovered like Little Wayne and Nicki Minaj and their mixtape
era was just so crazy. So it really like made
(10:26):
me realize that rap, which is poetry over a beat.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
What were you writing about? What were your poems about?
Were they bad? Were the good?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
They were great?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I wasn't an Arab? What were you going through?
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I would just talk about my day to day life,
you know, like.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
My crushes boys.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It could be that it could be about my astorations
because I've always been a big thinker, Like I've always
been a little girl with big dreams and I'm happy
that I've been able to fulfill them. But I've always
just been that person where I'm gonna do this. This
is not like I might have a bake cell, I'm
aa sell candy, I'm gonna go to usc Did you
do those? I'm gonna have a music career in like
(11:07):
entertainment you know. Yeah, yes, I did everything. And I
think it's because I'm a little delusional.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
They say, to be really successful, you have to be
a little No.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
I really am, only because like sometimes when I talk
about things, people look at me like I'm crazy. I've
always just been like I'm gonna do this and that,
and I would just say it so casually. And one
day one of my friends were like, you know, I
love you. It's because you're delusional. But everything you say
you're gonna do, you actually do it. So I think
(11:40):
like God's blessed me with that, you know, a mind
to just feel like I can do anything I put
my mind to.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah, where did that come from?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Well, my my parents instilled like, you know, working hard,
doing your chores, getting good grades.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
You are your girl.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, what you do gir. I used to have a
box and standing on it and do the dishes like
I was like really young. They had me in the
kitchen real early.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
It's good though.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
But what's funny is my mom was talking to me
about that the other day. She sent me a little meme.
It was like, strict moms create successful daughters. I'm like, okay,
I'll give you that.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
You appreciate it back then, right, no, no, never let
me go out side, please let me live, get off
this box. Yeah, but she was right, so she did
something right.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah. I think there is a positive side district parents.
I think it teaches responsibility, accountability, and it teaches you
how to check the boxes off your list, get it
done and get it done.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yeah, and also says the thing that there's like an
expect they have an expectation of you, right, so it
makes you probably then accept expect things for yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Exactly like we're not expecting BC's and d Z want
as matter of fact, give me a plus. I'm like, dang, girl,
was it like that house was?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
When A was cool though?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah? Yeah, well I would hope. So yeah, but you delivered, man,
you showed up. You did it was it was no
fear in it. Did you have like fear coming into this?
Now you just know, like I'm a little happen. What's
been the biggest surprise, like the biggest thing that you
didn't expect dealing with, you know, the ups and downs
of fame that you've had to go through.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Okay, I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you like this.
I think that in the beginning of my career, I
was so like just happy to be like anywhere being interviewed.
So I was very like green and I would just
be super honest with my answers and just ah, you know,
like my name is sleeping, I figure out. But there'd
(13:39):
be so many times where it's just like I thought
that I was having a cool intimate moment with like
a platform or an interviewer, and they put out a
SoundBite that creates a bad narrative about myself and I'm like, you, mother,
I don't know, lunging about it, like I'm cussing them
out of my head. And I was like, how are
(14:00):
you so nice to me in this interview? But you
take this little moment that overshadows the entire amazing conversation
we have and you make it and you add it
to a narrative that isn't even true about me.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
That is the trash part of this business. Yeah, it
really is trash. I hate that for you. I hate
that for me because it makes my job harder too,
because an artist is scared and skeptical to like have
real conversations, which is what we try to have.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, but this, this isn't that. And I'm happy you
created a very safe space. Yeah, I appreciate like the
genuine intention behind it.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Thank you. What about your inner like.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
What what you're gonna say?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
No? No, because, like you know, sometimes outside noise creates
our own narrative, Like you start almost sometimes if you're
not careful, you almost start seeing what the outside narrative
you see yourself in the way of that, you know
what I'm saying, Like people label you a certain way
you start looking at does it interfere with how you
see yourself? As I guess what I was as well.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
That's a really great question. And how like I've worked
with that or worked against it is Internally I'm like,
are you this person? Is it true? Do you believe this?
And if I say no, I'm like, okay, then that's trash,
like we're not going to pay attention to it. But
also how you combat it is you have to put
out things, whether it's music, content, interviews, to like control
(15:29):
your own narrative, which is why it's so important for
artists to speak up for themselves. H I love that
I said this in another interview before, but I recently
just had a studio session with someone and we were
talking and they were seeing how I was writing, and
they're like, do you purposely put out that other persona
of yourself? And I was like, what are you talking about?
(15:49):
And he was like, you're just way smarter than how
you're small to make you come off.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Sir, that's my art.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
But I can see where where that where that comes from,
because I feel like I'm really proud of my hiss,
but I could be more of surface to myself by
maybe becoming more vulnerable or really just diving into something
that I don't even know what I'm diving into yet.
I think because I'm by standard, very guarded, it takes
(16:18):
a long time to get information out of me, so
that's probably where the disconnect may come from. But it
was like I saw what he was saying, and he
was like, you need to show like more of this
side of you because there's more to you than your music.
And I'm just like, well, how do I do that?
But you know, it comes from being in a safe room,
really being able to pour into like the session, and
(16:39):
being honest, because if you're constantly with new teams, it's
just like you have to like re establish the connection
every time.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yes, I could totally understand that. And plus, I don't know,
I think for you too, you're probably still figuring that
out right. You're still you're still young, You're still like
your life is probably changing all the time. It's probably
like I don't know, it's probably just complicated. Did it
sometimes to share? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I feel like, yeah, I feel like in my mind,
I'm constantly rebranding myself, like who.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Would you last week?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Yeah? I feel like with new information, I just I'm
always applying it, at least in my private life. Like, yeah,
so my mind is constantly my wiels are always turning.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
She said, I'm constantly rebranding myself. I get that. Where
do you see the next Like if you're rebranding now
and you see that, like what is your vision for
yourself down the line, Like what are the big goals.
I know you've done acting and stuff like that already too,
but I'm just curious about Like everybody has a thing
they're chasing, what is that for you?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I mean, I do have like checklist goals, but I
really want my goal is to always just be able
to have a childlike perspective of art. And what I
mean by that. I love art, I love music, I
love all these things I come with it. But you know,
when you're finally in the industry, I feel like there's
just so many that take away from that joy and light.
(18:01):
I never want to lose that.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Oh that's good. The holiday season is upon us. I
know it came so fast, right, So one thing I
am working on in my home is trying to make
my home feel festive. And also I have a lot
of people over for the holiday, so sometimes that means
any extra chairs and things. And I started thinking about
my grandmother, my grandmother. I come from a family where
(18:24):
my grandmother would host every year with second cousins, third cousins,
and she had a very small home, but she hosted
a big party and everything in the house would be
dripping in holiday things. I mean everything for the toilet
had like a Santa Claus on the toilet. The napkins
in the house were Christmas napkins. I mean, if there
was an inch of her house, it was dripped in
(18:45):
holiday And I don't want to do that, but I
do like the idea of recreating that much joy and
that much festiveness in my home. And there's so many
things at Wayfair that you can get for that, and
they don't have to be like the Santa Claus on
the toilet, whether it's candles or tablecloths or just extra
(19:06):
seating because I do have extra people come in the house.
Folding chairs you can get great folding chairs at Wayfair.
And the good thing too is you can order that
stuff and it comes right to your house without having
a pay for delivery, which is super helpful or out
lugging it having to run to the store and get
all that stuff and packing in the car and then
pack it out of it. You know who wants to
deal with that. So for the holidays, really it is
a great It is my go to place for just
(19:28):
like judging up the house to feel festive around the
holiday season and also setting up to host to invite
people over, and the more people that are normally in
my house and to accommodate for that, which usually means
extra chairs. Maybe you wanted to get some new you know,
plates or tableware, and of course Wayfair has all that
great stuff and all the things to make you feel
(19:50):
really festive. So I'm gonna be spending a lot of
time with Wayfair over the next month getting my home
ready for there so you can take advantage of some
of these Wayfair deals that are going on right now.
Miss out on the early Black Friday deals those are
happening and their big head to wayfair dot com now
to shop Wayfair Black Friday deals for up to seventy
percent off. That's Wayfair w A y fai r dot
(20:14):
com and the sale ends December seventh. What are the
things that you love? What inspires you? What's out there
now that's that's giving you that?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Honestly, just living life, being outside with the people that
I love, checking out new artists and seeing what they're
doing because that inspires me. But yeah, I just never
want to lose that joy and that and that spark
to why you even started this in the first place.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
You really love it, right, I could.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Tell yeah, I do. Yeah, Like I love music. My
parents were big like music collectors, like when it came
to like my dad he was big on like the oldies,
R and B, hip hop rap, and then my mom
she listened to like alternative also hip hop two but
she was like also into like indie rock and rock
and roll. So it's just like you could literally place me.
(21:01):
And my friends tell me this all the time. You
could place me with any group and I could be
the DJ. You could djally DJ. I mean, I could
do a playlist, my playlist game.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
You should learn how to DJ. You'd probably be a
great DA. I would love how to DJ, but you
can learn bad fast. Yes, you should do it.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Sorry, somebody teach me.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
I see that for you. I think you could do
that because you have like you love music I do,
and if you could play the different crowd, you could
kill that.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
And you know, my new favorite genre is afro house,
Like I need to go a visa and live and
live out my afro house fantasy. I do. I I
wasn't able to make it this year. I was gonna
go for my birthday, but I had to work close
to my birthday, so I ended up not going. But
I love me some afro house.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
That's a vibe. See you know the bags you could
get for DJing out there? Let's get her I r
L bowl. These are real life questions.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Okay, I'll do one.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Keeps coming up? Maybe all right, what do you?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Oh my gosh, I love it?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I'm no longer available?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
But look, what is the question? What do you no longer?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I'm no longer available for the for the bullshit?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Okay, I literally don't argue with nobody anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
What do you mean? How do you do that?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Just be like you got it?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
What do you mean? Like?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
If you're not making any sense to me and you
have to and you have no basis to stand on,
I literally won't respond to you or I just will
just be like you got it. It's just so draining,
and I don't like talking to incompetent people.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
It's so do you really do that? Because people say that,
do you really do it?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I'm a cancer. I can't do that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I can.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
And the reason why I say that, I mean even
if people ain't in so astrology, I feel like cancers
are mislabeled, as you know, overly emotional. But I think
that we have so much emotional intelligence, like my emotions
can go like this to like this in a split second.
Like I manage my emotions really well. And if you
want that bullshit, I literally would just tune you out
(23:09):
and chase the station. No, because like, why give yourself,
why devote yourself to all this this low frequency, low
vibrational conversation. Why give them that time?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
M hm? What did you say? You say to them?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
They say, you got it?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh, you got it.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I'm like, okay, you got it.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
You don't have to be right.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
I'm just like, because if I'm really trying to explain
like my stance to and you keep cutting me off,
talking over me, your responses don't make sense. I'm just like,
you're incompetent.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
We had Kelly Clarkson on the Potter. She said something similar. Oh,
she said, her therapist told her, you do not have
to attend every argument. You can say I'm unavailable for that.
You don't have to attend. You don't have to I'm
unavailable to attend this. And I think this conversation, I
thought that was so good, just like you could just decide, yeah, no,
I'm not having this conversation. It's kind of similar to
(24:04):
what you just.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
And I agree with that because we have to realize
that we have an option to either continue with the conversation.
We're not continuing with the conversation.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
That's good people say that, but I don't know to
really do it. I think I'm going to steal that
for something.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
I think when you give so many people the opportunity
and it's just only draining, it's just kind of like, Okay,
do I want to be drained or do I want
to be fulfilled?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Are you that strong in like like if it's like
if somebody you're dating relationships, are you that strong in
that as well?
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Or do you get Sometimes I want to say, I
was going to say you hear at the moment, you'd
be like, ho, not as good? You know, you know
it's a muscle that you got to work almost certain people.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I like that. What is another muscle that you've had
to work on? What are the muscles that you have you've.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Had to I'm being patient with anything in life because
I'm very impatient. But yeah, just go on with the
flow when it's meant to go with the flow. Because
sometimes when you try to control the outcome of something,
you're rushing it and you can't rush a blessing. So
I just have tried to be disciplined with my urge
(25:15):
to like be somewhere or to attain something or to
do something that I want to do, or there's something
in that nature.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Patience, Yeah, it's very It's one of my biggest really struggles. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I don't have no advice on patience. My damn self.
All right, take one more.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I'll do this. This is cool. This is a good question.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
They're good. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah, that's good for you. Wow, you're not afraid to
try new things?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
No, yeah, actually it'd be to learn salsa.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Oh my god, I love that for you.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah. I've taken some salsa classes, and every time I
get like three classes in, I always like stop, stop,
what would quit? I would say stop because I would
love to do it again. But yeah, sausage is so sexy.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
That's so funny. That was on my bucket list. Really,
I promise you it's on my bucket list. And I
for some reason, I took a couple of lessons once
and I was it was starting to like naturally click,
and then I fell off again too.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
So I have this in my song. I need some
insfo off my project. It's a very like Island song,
like my dream is a salsa in that music video.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
So do it? Yeah? Are you gonna do it?
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Yes, you just committed right, Yes, now you have to
commit it.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Oh you'll kill that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I think that would be fire.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I think sausage not only is it sexy?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Why that of all things? I'm so surprised. I mean me,
you know Puerto Rican. It's like I feel like I
should already know how to do that.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Well, I love the dance already, but sausage is just
one of those those classes that I've joined, and every
time I'm done with it, I feel so liberated. It
just feels like I've awakened the woman in me.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Where was she before?
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Right, you're supposed to be here all the time.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
That's so funny. That's really good. All right, that's a
good bucket list. That's one of our IROL questions is
what is on your bucketst what about your legacy? What
do you think? How often do you think about your legacy?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
And I do want to stresses me out? You do?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Why?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Damn? It's just I think because I want to accomplish
so much so fast. This goes back to the patients thing.
I have to be like, it's okay, you know, everything
is in divine timing and just trust the process. But
when it comes to my legacy, there's a lot of
things that I do want to do. But as long
(27:41):
as I'm inspirational, like when the little girls look up
to like what I did, I want them to be
like she persevered, she was resilient, she rose to the occasion,
she did what she said she was going to do.
I think that's what I'd like to leave behind because
like inspiration is like one of the most powerful emotions
that somebody can have.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Who does it for you? Like, who do you look
to for those moments?
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Who do I look to for those moments? Okay, it's
gonna sound like a very a very I wouldn't say
it's basic because this is not basic at all. Honestly,
the lessons in my Bible app.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I love that it Just.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Know exactly I say that, I just saying, like, you know,
like there's typical answers, but it's a real thing that
I do. When I get super stressed out, I go
on my Bible app and they have like lessons attached
to different emotions that you're feeling, and I click the
emotion and then I read like the scriptures and like
the devotional lesson and they're good and they're great.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
What app is this? It's just is it called the Bible? App?
Why don't I have that?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
It's brown with like gold letters on it.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
What was one thing? Give me the thing that you
that it recently gave you?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
To not worry? Because like in the scripture said, God
gives us the gift of peace, and that there's and
then there's scriptures that you can read to remind you
on how to you know, get rid of your worries
and to just live in peace because that's the gift
that's given to us. Because there's another quote where it's
like thinking about the past gives you depression, and then
(29:13):
thinking about the future gives you anxiety. Like I'm that person,
so I'd be like, God, help me please.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That's one of our questions too. What do you pray foremost?
Is one of the questions?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Peace?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Please?
Speaker 1 (29:27):
No? Because my mind, in my mind, there's just so
much going in it all the time.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
What is all that ticking going on?
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Well, like I said earlier, like I'm delusional. So it's
just like, Okay, I accomplished this, now I can go
accomplish this. Like I just have a bucket list of
things that.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Are just very ambitious.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
That a very ambitious, but I know that if I
apply myself, I can get there because I've done it
before when I have the proof of concept for myself.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
There's one in the in there that I love. It's
a question that says, if God were to text you
right now, what would it say?
Speaker 1 (29:59):
It would say, Remember what I told you?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
What did he tell you?
Speaker 1 (30:03):
He told me a lot of things, you know. So
I grew up in the church. My grandparents are pastors,
so every summer they'd have like a prophet come. So
when I was thirteen, I wanted the prophets actually prophesied
that I would have a music career. Wow, And I didn't.
That's when I was writing poetry and I was like,
I want to be a hair stylist. And I was like,
(30:24):
what is she talking about? But literally the things that
she prophesies to me at that age has came true
has came to past.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Wow. So it was that you'd be an artist and
some other things private things I wonder what that prophet
told you. I want to see it was.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
It was very inspirational, but at the time none of
us understood, like what is she talking about? But it
came to past and I'm doing what she said I
would be doing.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Wow, I see it's really hard to get Yeah, and
a full scholarship. So you was like a for real
smarty pants like you was. The grades were good, what
else were you prepping for that? To get into a
school like that, it's not just good grades.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
You have to be a railround student. But I was
a transfer so I had transferred from San Diego State,
and essentially what made me a very like well rounded
student was the accolades that I had accomplished there. Like
I was the first tell you this is the funniest thing.
I'm like, DM, I tell you girl, like you really
(31:35):
did be going for the stars. I remember I was
so bored. I was like, you know what, I want
to be the mascot.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
You were the mascot.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
So I tried out and I was the first woman
that ever tried out to be the mascot. I made
the front of the newspaper because I had made it
down to like the final two. But they ended up
going with a guy. Oh yeah, it's sick about that
now crazy, but it was the first time a woman
tried out to be the mascot.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
And why did you want to do that?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Because I was bored girl to do something with my time.
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Speaker 1 (33:42):
And then also one of my friends. Her name is
Maderia totally. She comes from the South. And what she
did is she brought over the drill like HBCU dance
team genre of dancing to a PCI and it was
the first time a PCI had did in California. So
I was a part of the first team that started
(34:05):
that type of dancing at a university in California. And
when I tell you what was happening, Oh my gosh,
I struggled so bad.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
What do you.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yes? I made a retraine off. I said, hey, can
you give me private lessons and I'll cook for you.
I told you I'm ambitious. I'm like, I'm gonna be
a great dancer. I'm like, I don't have it right now,
but you know, like I'm gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Did she go for it? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
She did. I would cook her pestel pasta and.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
She'd give you a dance lesson and did you get
to be better?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Absolutely? Wow?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Is there video of this somewhere? Potter? Is there a
video of this?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I actually went back last year for homecoming and I
danced with the girls.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
They must love to see you there. What's that like?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It was a full circle experience because we all danced
to my type. So it's just like here I am
performing a song and it reminded me of like all
the times I was in my dorms writing raps, and
it's just like wow, like I did what I said
I was gonna do.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Yeah, it's such a different person too, if you think
about even when you wrote my type, Yeah, you're probably
in a whole different space, right, like a whole different
or you still that girl.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
I feel like all of my songs are a piece
of my personality. Yeah, you never know what you're gonna
get with me.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I thought about you in that song earlier because I
saw Summer Walker today posted her with some guy at
the some older white guy or the thing, and she
said she was trying to change her type. I have
no type.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
You know, sometimes you have to go outside of your
type and see what life's like.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
I wonder if your type has changed.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Definitely definitely, Hell, so what is the type now? A
type that's supportive. Actually, I've been in supportive relationships before,
so let me not say that to discredit, but my
type has definitely changed, so definitely, like one it's like, Okay,
we're not doing that no more. You know, what's interesting
(36:01):
about my type is that when people typically ask me,
like what is your type? My type is energy, Like
do we mesh? Are we compatible? Like? Can I spend
time with you? And can we have quiet moments?
Speaker 2 (36:14):
You know?
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Does it always have to be extra or can we
just be chilled too? Like I'm really attracted to like energy?
Speaker 2 (36:21):
That could be tricky sometimes. Really why yeah, because sometimes
guys could give you energy, you know what I'm saying.
It's not necessarily healthy energy, but it just be good energy.
(36:41):
Sometimes it's fun energy. It's not always necessarily the best,
the most.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
No. I think that's a good point because sometimes when
you meet people and it's in a lit situation like that,
vibe is amazing, but it's just like we're not going
to be parting twenty four to seven, you know. So
sometimes you know, in those moments because such it's a
great time, yah, you mistake it for you know, their
whole personality and you like, hold on, there's something else there.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
What's happening at home?
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Do you have a personality disorder?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
We don't want that for you.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
We don't not for anybody.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
We don't want that for you. I am curious.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I know you tried to act.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
I mean you just did you didn't try? You did it? Yeah,
you did some acting.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
When it comes to acting, I would love to be
a part of like a franchise that has something to
do with action only because of my athleticism. I would
enjoy like doing my own stunts, but like something like
you know, with a with a heroin or maybe even
an anti heroin. But I really love the DC characters.
I typically dress up for them, like them for Halloween.
(37:45):
I didn't mistake I did Harley Quinn. Well you probably did,
Joker know that Joker. That was my like my first
masculine album, I mean album, my first masculine costume woman
music Mode. Yeah, because normally I'm super sexy. Last year
I was like, you know what, what's happened? So you
know another the other side.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Yeah, do you feel like people expect you to always
be sexy?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
No?
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Really, no no pressure. No.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think I'm just comfortable with my own energy. Sometimes
I might be a tomboy. Sometimes I might be dressed down.
Sometimes I don't feel like showing on my skin. Sometimes
I want to show on my skins.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
It's funny because this pribe you is about pressure, but
you seem to manage it pretty well. You don't let
a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
But I think pressure has just been a reoccurring thing
throughout my whole life. I feel like every major I
don't even know how you divide up your life chapters chapters.
It's a reoccurring theme and it shows up in different ways.
So as a little girl, I've always just knew how
to manage pressure really well, and I think it rolled
over until like my teenage years, it rolled over into
(38:49):
my adulthood really well. I feel like I've always been
under pressure.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
But what is that pressure? Like your kid? What was
the pressure as.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
A kid getting good grades, taking care of myself? And
then also just the pressure of being biracial. That is
a real struggle and it's really hard when neither community
wants to claim you.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Is that what you experienced?
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, that's what I felt at a really young age.
I felt like I didn't belong in either group, and
it really just made me feel like I didn't belong
in social environments because at home I felt love. I
felt like, oh, like race isn't even a thing. You
go to school it's just like, ah, what are you?
You know, it's like the names that come with it.
(39:32):
So I think that was difficult for me, the social
pressures of just being a kid at school, you know,
kids are mean, and also just the pressure of not
being in the same household as both of my parents,
And I think that it wasn't until I saw a
household with both parents in them that I realized that
(39:53):
my situation was normal. So I'm just like, why are
my parents at the same home?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Did they split early? You were younger, yeah, old enough
to see them together?
Speaker 1 (40:02):
No?
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Oh, so you never even.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Saw that now, so I thought it was I didn't.
It was just a normal for me. You know, when
a kid is growing up, whatever they see is just
a standard. But it wasn't until like I saw my
friends have their parents and I'm just like, what's going
go at my house?
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Why are we different? Yeah, but you're close with your
dad right also, but still just not having a vision
of what a relationship is supposed to look like sometimes
I could make it more challenging as you get.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Yeah, So I think just as as a child, it
was the pressure of just all these ideas in my
head trying to make sense of my world. But also
I think what was tough for me was just like
I was always switching schools. It's bouncing in between households,
going to other households. You know, I've lived with my cousins,
I live with my grandma, I've lived with all these
other people.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
So why are we bouncing around someone?
Speaker 1 (40:52):
You know how the young parents that are separated, me
being indecisive. I want to go live with you. I
want to go live with you. You know. I was
never able to create a founder of like a real
sense of community, not until later on in life. Middle
school was tough, really, it was really tough. So what
had happened was is my mom had took me out
of the school that I was at and had brought
(41:14):
me to a school that was in a better neighborhood.
It was such a culture shock being like one of
the only black girls or colored girls, mixed girls at
that school because the school was like predominantly white. It
was almost like an identity crisis for me because it's
just what, Yeah, who am I? Why don't like these
people look different than me? They act different, they talk different.
(41:38):
It really just made me more introverted.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
When does that shift for you, like when did you
feel confident in.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Your Honestly, I felt like I found my identity and
I felt I felt like I finally belonged in the community.
When it came to sports, my mom like forced me
to go to volleyball tryouts. I'm like, I don't want
to go. She was like, just you know, she's a
scary woman. It's like, Okay, I'm gonna try out. But
(42:05):
I'm really happy to have had that experience, especially with
you know, team bonding, team building, because when it comes
to sports, it's like it just teaches you things that
you wouldn't learn anywhere else. So I felt like that's
where I found like a place where I mattered and
where I was respected and where I felt like I
(42:26):
was seen. Race didn't play a part at least for me.
It just was a group of girls who came together
and who developed this special synergy and I felt like
I had a role to play. And I feel like
that was the first time where I fit into a
community where it wasn't divided. Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful. I
didn't even think about that that you had probably been
(42:47):
through some of that. Do you feel like people connect
with you now because of that. I wonder if there's
some fans that see that in you.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
I don't know. It's probably young Filipino girls, as young
Black girls. There's probably young mixed girls that all kind
of see themselves.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
I think what I've what I've taken from that challenge
is just to be proud, Like I'm proud to be
a Filipina, I'm proud to be to have some Chinese
and me, I'm proud to be an African American woman.
I'm as proud to be me. And I think that's
what I want girls to take away, like just be proud,
be proud.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
To be you.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
I think that's the most important and I think through
the experiences of my early stages in life, I think
that's what just made me comfortable in my own skin
because it's just like, you don't like me, but I
like me, and that's what matters.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
That's a clip right there. I ever heard a clip
you don't like me, I like you.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
It matters.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
What was the other thing you said before? But when
somebody doesn't make sense, if you don't want to argue
with them, you got it. Oh you got that, Yeah
you got you got it.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And it's so funny because sometimes you're having a conversation
and when you say that, it almost upsets them that
you that they don't you don't match their energy. Like
I'm okay, I'm not going to argue with you. You
got it.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I know that's a.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Mean. I know, I really do, because You're not gonna
drain me of my energy. I'm not going to participate
in this low frequency way.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Good for you?
Speaker 1 (44:19):
All right?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
What do people need to know about this project? I
haven't seen a lot of this stuff yet, so I
have to see what is the branding, Like what do
you what this? Well?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
The message behind it encapsules like the evolution of Icy
Girl to becoming this diamond because what is hell of pressure?
What does it create? It creates diamonds? And my name
is Demance. So I'm just like, wow, God, look at
all these things just aligning organically. And I'm really proud
of the song Pressure because I do address, you know,
(44:49):
some of the things that I was dealing with internally.
First of all, it starts off as a freestyle playing
homage to like how I first came into the game,
like just a straight rap, and then it like evolves
into like this beautiful I don't even know what kind
of genre you want to call it, but into like
this more colorful version, like towards the end of the song,
(45:10):
and I was like, this feels very innovative and innovative.
And I feel like as I grow with my career,
I have to become I have challenge myself with how
I approach, you know, the creativity of my music.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (45:21):
I feel like twenty twenty six is when I'm really
gonna really just really just really girl what my mouth,
I feel like twenty twenty well, I know, twenty twenty
six is really when I'm really just gonna step into
the position I'm supposed to have. I'm still figuring out
what that is. But the pressure is still on. But
when it's my time to shine, those wings will be
(45:42):
big and bright.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Do you think that you're even that you've even hit
your stride yet? Are you still thinking of like alone? No?
Speaker 1 (45:48):
No, definitely not like the prophet. You know, she told
me a lot of things that I still have to accomplish.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
So that you have to live up to and live
up to.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
So it's a journey, but it's a journey that makes
me wise and stronger.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
We ask everybody on the on the pod in real life?
How happy are you on the scale of one to ten?
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Right now? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (46:08):
Ten?
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Tell me we had a good Conversation's great, I want
to talk to you. Yeah, it's a moment. It's almost
like this that you have to appreciate you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Are you do you normally run high? Like? Are you
normally a happy person?
Speaker 1 (46:20):
I like people, so I like having conversations. Yeah, this
is fun.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Yeah, ten is great.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (46:26):
What takes you down? Like? What's something that could knock
your number down?
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Being hungry?
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Hungry?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yes, are you hungry now? No?
Speaker 1 (46:35):
I ate an epinado, mama.
Speaker 3 (46:39):
It was Chipotle mayo, a cheese steak.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
You are a foodie. I asked you about fashion Week
and you said, this food is so good.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
And fashion Week the food, the food, the little side restaurants.
I love to hit me like a little side question
after a show.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
You're a good cook too, right, Yeah? I like to
think so, Yeah, I believe you because you're a foodie.
I can tell you we should have got some good
food today, but you ate it, so you're good. So
we'll leave it like this. So like this, so today
is the last day on Earth? What would you be
doing and what would you eat?
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Oh my gosh, are you serious? Yes?
Speaker 2 (47:16):
So today was the last day? If God texted you
and be like, enjoyed today because this is it, this
is the last one? What would you be doing? And
what would you eat?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
So? I know my fans expect me to say seafood,
but honestly, I love Indian food. I want to I
will literally drink that yellow curry. That's how good it
is out of a glass, not out of the bowl,
Like I'll finish like what's in it? And I'll just
be like their curry is untouchable. I got love their spices.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
So you're going Indian food.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
I'm going Indian food?
Speaker 2 (47:48):
And what are you doing? What is your day? Like?
Speaker 1 (47:50):
What is my daylight? Like? What would you?
Speaker 2 (47:53):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (47:56):
So think we got girl? Oh okay?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
What she had, all that she gave me all that
energy on her last day?
Speaker 1 (48:06):
What am I doing on my last day? Oh? I
love to travel, so I like to be somewhere fun.
Tokyo was really fun. Love Yeah, but it would be
in a really fun city with my last favorite male,
with my with my favorite people.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Oh yeah, that's sweet. Well there it is.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Sweety in real life, everybody, Thanks you, every.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
Hey, what's up y'all? This is Sweety and real Life.
Speaker 3 (48:34):
Hey guys, thanks for watching.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Make sure you subscribe, like comments, and check out all
of the other episodes we have on Edge. Martinez I
r OL Podcast
Host
Angie Martinez
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