Teyana Taylor

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You need to fight. This is what you want, you
fight for it. You know what I'm saying, And I
think that that's what gave me sho. I'll fight for
every role. I fight for every blessing. I fight, and
I'm willing to do the work. And I fight because
I haven't really had many people here to fight for me.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Andrew Martinez in Real Life podcast. This episode and conversation
is powered by ID Say can any.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Place do alsa have a NERD?

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Can? I start with a toast to.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
The Nerd to the.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Future Academy Award winning Teanna Taylor. Oh my god, I
went to the screaming last night.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
What does everybody tell you after they saw the movie?

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Oh my god? They're like literally crying like, oh my god,
I got me and you did your ship.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
I didn't feel like that, you know why.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
You know why what you about to say?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
No, I didn't feel like that because I expected that
from it. I love that, you know what I'm saying, Like,
I feel like and that's not to be taken for granted,
because sometimes you expect something from somebody and that don't deliver.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Right right right.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
But first of all, Hi, and welcome to the page.
The podcast we're.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Gonna have a little nerd. You're like, n I love,
we're going a little nerd in the toast. I also
think because you know my story and what I've been.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Through, and I know how dope you are, so it's
not surprising to me that you're this dope in the movie.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Right, But I don't even think necessarily.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
I think that's a lot of people's tears, but also
just like the storyline and like what's happening.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
But yeah, like people that has been in my life
and know me knows. It's just more of a thing like.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Why don't I have these more often?

Speaker 1 (01:47):
No, I was thinking about you on the way here.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
Because you move over a little bit.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Camera angles, right.

Speaker 4 (01:53):
You're such a director and.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
You're such a want to make sure we got the shot.
This was amazing to have baby, see Kim, it's good
and this is my baby. Yeah no, but that's good people,
that's where they missed this where they missed it, and
you're trying to make it happen one camera and maybe
even to not even enough we got three. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Well, when I got this little b roll, we turn
it into a little production house.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
It started as a podcast and I'm here for it,
and I'm here for it. Yeah, thanks, I really wanted
you know.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
We're learning a lot because I just brought in a
crew the first episode and we had a lot of
problems and you know, you've done this, you know, and
you gotta learn as you go, and but it's been
going good.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
I'm happy with it so far. I'm happy to have
you here. Thank you.

Speaker 4 (02:42):
Yo.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
So to go back to my point about not being
surprised that you killed this movie, I remember when I
saw you. You were I want to say one was
Google me out fifteen or fifteen sixteen six? Yeah, I
have known you, but I didn't really I saw you
in the street one time.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
I told you that story. I had a club and
I was like, who is.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
This bad ass kids?

Speaker 2 (03:01):
And then and I didn't realize it was the same person.
But somebody was really pressing me like you were like
a big deal when you got signed, and it was like,
come to this, you gotta come to this thing, this showcase,
the showcase. Yes, and I went and I saw you
you were doing Google me Yeah, what was that was that?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Marquee? Yes?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
I remember random facts. So I went into marketing and
I was like, oh, yeah, I know her, and then
you started performing. I remember just looking at you.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Like, oh no, she's like not a badass kids, shit,
she's actually so.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
But like I was, I was trying to figure you out,
you know what I'm saying, because the song was cute
and catchy, but it was young and I couldn't really tell.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
But at that showcase, I performed more records that I
have recorded that never she knew light to day.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, but you you could tell, you know, you could
tell the difference between an artist artist and somebody was
up there acting like an artist.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
You could tell a difference. And I was so excited
for you and to see what was happening.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
And then so over the years we've I've watched you
and we've had interviews, and I've seen you be everywhere.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
And everything like it.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
I grew up right in from there. It's nuts, it's nuts.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
But so when I see you in a moment like this,
it's not surprising to me, you know what I'm saying,
Like Corsey body back, Yeah, so it was. I was
happy to see that moment, Feeld because it feels like
a real moment, doesn't Like, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
It definitely feel like a real moment, Like it feel
like the moment. You know, I think all the tears,
all the prayers, you know, like all the the weight
that I thought was punishment was a big eye opener
that it wasn't what I mean, it was preparation, you know,
just all the years, I mean, you knew me and

(04:50):
knew what I did, a lot of people knew. We
knew what I did never really had a break in,
like relevancy throughout my whole career is because you know,
I'm a busy body, so I'm doing this, I'm doing that.
But it's like ethnically, I wasn't necessarily like getting the moment, Yeah,
getting my things, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (05:07):
And I think that.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
That was.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Not getting my things is what made me stronger and
gave me more preparation to properly receive my things, you
know what I'm saying. And Yeah, I just don't think
that I would have even given Likenez all that I've
given her had not been through the different you know,
just the different ups and downs.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah. Yeah, but do you believe because I always believe this.
We talked about this a lot here too. It's like
when it's supposed to happen, happens. Yeah, and that's what
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
So that time, all of those nos, or maybe just
if things wasn't happening in the timely fashion I wanted
to happen that I looked at it like, Okay, it's
not happening. It's every time it comes to me is
always something. That weight that I thought was punishment was
God saying no baby, That was just preparation for what

(06:05):
was already written for you in the palm of my hands.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
I just I want to run through that little just
real quick because people who might not be familiar with
the history and the story. It's like, even from that
first time I saw you doing Google me right, young
girl wants to get on wants it has this talent.
Get signed to Pharrell, get signed to Kanye has a
big I mean, I just remember moments where you felt like,

(06:30):
as you from the inside must have felt like, this
is the moment.

Speaker 4 (06:33):
Oh, this is the moment.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Oh this is the time, watching you do that little
Kim tribute, watching.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
You like even that was the moment, you know, Like
what I'm saying, every but imagine that's what it felt like.
It felt like getting like it seemed like every time
you got to the door is slammed in your face.
That was the feeling that I was having.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
You get what I'm saying, even all the way down
to Faith to do Fade and like.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
This is it.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
Faith was fire. Another moment, like right.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
After Fade album should have dropped. You get what I'm saying,
Like it was just it was always something. So I
was like, what were these moments and who were these
moments really for? You know, clearly these moments.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
Bigger than me.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
I don't know, because I just know when Faye came out,
it definitely probably should have been an album, a rollout.
It just should have been preparation for something. You get
what I'm saying. And like even when Fake came, I
I told you I didn't know that it was dropping.
I think it probably like the day of I still
didn't really all the way, No, I didn't know. I

(07:35):
wasn't even there. I watched myself on the VMA's have
one of the biggest moments of my career, sitting on
my couch in Atlanta watching the VMAs.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
And what's happening inside is that anger, is that disappointment,
Is that.

Speaker 4 (07:52):
You know it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
It wasn't even I don't even think that it was
anger that it may have hit a little because I
think I was also trying to still process everything. You
got to understand when that video came out, my life
literally changed overnight. But it wasn't something I hadn't seen before.
You know, I've had moments where you know, it'd be
a lot of static, a lot of traffic, but this

(08:15):
one was, of course, was the biggest one.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
So my phone was ringing immediately. Is that what you credit?
That's what you like think as one of I think
it's one.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
Of the biggest moments in my career. Absolutely, I definitely
it changed my world. It changed my life, like what
Faye did for me, I guess as an artist is
like what this movie is doing for me as an actress,
like Fay show, Like, oh you get what I'm saying,
Like it was the eye opener, Like it was an
eye opener. You know. I wasn't signed to a model

(08:45):
agency before a Fade. I wasn't.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
I wasn't. I didn't have none of those kinds of things,
you know, so and I've always you know, done other stuff.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
But like even as many endorsements as I have, or
the gym membership's going up, and you know, like just
moments like that, that was another eye opening moment for
the world.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
I wouldn't if this happened to you because and you've
been in the game for a long time, but you're
still young, you're still at the beginning of a new
thing right now, and then this moment right here, But
do you feel like, because you know, we have these
dreams and we're young, and we're like, yo, when I
get that, or if you're like if you had a
certain weight and you're like, oh, when I get to
that weight, I'm gonna be happy, or when I get
this deal, I'm gonna be happy when I get when

(09:25):
I you know, and you've had so many.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
Of those almost like false starts.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
And this is what I'm saying, that's the part that's
like getting on a roller coaster and take you up
before that big drop and it gets stuck. You don't
take me down, give me off this motherfucker, take me
to my destination with it.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
Hell, we gotta go, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
That's how it felt like just even just we're gonna
love me, Look how big gonna love me could have
been Don't get me wrong, Like I'm almost double platinum,
but that was something that I did.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
You know what I'm saying. So imagine like so.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
When people's, oh my god, but it did this, it
did that, but it's like, imagine if it really had
that push. Yeah, you feel what I'm saying, Like I
dropped like great albums that just haven't had the push.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
You know, two things I'm curious about about that is
number one, how do you not lose that shit, that fire,
that thing that still makes you want to fight for that? Like,
at any point do you feel just like fuck it?
Why did I keep doing this? It's clearly not meant
to be. Like do you ever get in your head
that way?

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (10:27):
I have those moments.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
But the great thing about how I handle myself is
I have that moment and once I let it all out,
I didn't have my conversation with God and I'm like
just breathing to me, Lord, you know, I'm just just
wanting him to breathe into me, just my ministries. You
feel what I'm saying, And having that balance, And I
think that that's the amazing part about having a relationship

(10:50):
with God because I think people think it's just like Okay,
get on your knees, put your hands together, and say
a prayer, you know. And I think it's really about
just having real conversations with him, but also doing your studies.
You know, I stay in my Bible. I do have
a physical Bible. I have a Bible app that gives
you like a verse of the day versus the day.

(11:10):
Every day. It's prayers on air and it's like different
topics of anxiety, love, you know, pride, like literally any
any and every word you can think of, you click
on that word and it's a prayer for you know
what I'm saying. Yeah, So that just listening to gospel
music like but records that really you know, like Fred

(11:31):
Hammond like breathing too me, Lord, Like that's my that's
my ship. Sorry, Lord, I'm sorry, She's I know, yeah,
he knows my heart.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
But that's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Even about having real conversations with him, Like I done
got up in a conversation with him tight, you.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
Know, like hit him with a yoll like yo, father,
like what you what's my Like.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Like do what you want me to do?

Speaker 4 (11:59):
Like what's my You're calling? Like am I here? Like
what what do you see for me, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
I think that that's what make it great because He
knows your heart and he knows that you are trying.
And it's easier to continue to build a relationship with
God when you keep it real. You know what I'm saying,
And you're not trying to You're not doing what you
see on tv O what the church is necessarily telling
you you have to do.

Speaker 4 (12:23):

Speaker 1 (12:24):
It's like if you could feel like if I could
feel like okay, cool, I can go on and do
an interview with Angie because it's a safe space. If
I feel like you a safe space, Imagine what I
feel with God. You feel what I'm saying, like the
most most vulnerable. You know what I'm saying, like and
just literally like Jesus died for our sins. You know

(12:44):
what I'm saying for us, because we're not perfect, you
know what I'm saying. So I have wraw, honest conversations
with God, and I think that that's what gets me through.
And I feel like I do get answers quicker rather
than trying to do it the way. Do you feel
like the answers come quick?

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Absolutely, Like how quick, like tell me time when I'm not.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
Trying to chop my head off.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
You feel what I'm saying Like that right there?

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Like how I can go from like letting out, like
letting everything out, or feeling like, you know what, I'm
done with all the shit?

Speaker 4 (13:11):

Speaker 1 (13:12):
I'm like, let me just take a beat step back.
Oh God, what's up what we're doing? Cause it's I'm
going to a place I don't want to go. What
we're doing, and you see, it has to feel it,
you feel it because then there you go, I go
and open up my Bible, open up my app or
you know, throwing at Yolanda. You know, you just you

(13:36):
just it's little things you gotta do, like I said,
even all the way to sundance, like to be able
to even in the moment of joy, you know, soaking
everything in. It's the same process. If you can go
to him when you upset and you're sad, you can
come to him, you know, when he's answering your prayers.
So it's the same thing like a shower, listening to

(13:58):
my gospels and my ministries. You get what I'm saying,
Like I'm like in hair and makeup, like crying because
I'm like, yo, life is lifeing for the for the best,
like you know, like I'm thriving and I'm so grateful
and I'm so blessed. So like a lot of times
I'll be crying, were like yo, Like well, like thank you,

(14:19):
like you really fire, like you know what I'm saying,
Like like you feel him laughing, like you know what I'm.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Saying, Like you ask for you asked for it, you
know what I'm saying, Like you ever have you there's
ever been a time you doubted him?

Speaker 4 (14:31):
No, even in never.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
That's why I thought the waight was was punishment and
there would be a lot of questions.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
I never.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
I would never, I could never. You know, also have
like my whole family don't play that like we're all godfearing,
you know what I'm saying. My grandparents is in the
ministry as well, So it was never a time too
because if I try and call my mom or call
my aunt venting, or call my nan in venting, like
call my granddad inventing.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
All right, let's say a brown You know what I'm saying,
Like that's the answer to the.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
It's crazy because it's almost like mine over matter. There's
been times where like I will physically be in pain
and called my Nana and like just the power of
prayer and be like feeling better. The pain might come
back a little later, but just in that moment, just
just the power in prayer and the power and knowing
that you know everything is going to be okay. You know,

(15:26):
that's so good.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Does this ever happen to you? Because I was doing
something recently. I had a partner and there was some
company that was like interested to do this project. And
I was like, oh, that's cool, let's seehere this plays out.

Speaker 4 (15:38):
He was so excited.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
No we got they want to fund this thing that
you want to do.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
And I'm like, all right, cool, let's that's good. Let's
keep talking to them. He was like, why you don't
why you don't get excited. I was like, because I've
heard this a few times.

Speaker 4 (15:52):
You sound like me.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
That's what I'm saying. I'm wonderful for you that because
I'm not trying to be negative. I'm just being like,
all right, this is come on, God, but I don't
as good as younger me.

Speaker 4 (16:01):
You're not easily impressed no more.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
I said, that's the.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
First thing I said, when we open this up, take
me to the finish line, and then I'm then I'm grateful,
but take me to the finish line.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
But I wonder for you.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Then it's in that idea is like, when you're having
this beautiful moment and you have this beautiful performance and
people are talking about awards and how this is going
to change your career, are you almost afraid to fully
embrace that or are you all the way.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
In on it. This was the first time in my
career that I was able to fully embrace what was happening.
I love that for you, and I've been in the
industry for fifteen years, you get what I'm saying. So
I got to that place where I just wasn't easily impressed.
I couldn't get excited because I wanted to go to

(16:46):
the finish line, you know, like cool, I understand this
is a high right now, and I'm up, but like,
let's see what this big drop is going to be
on this roller coaster, you know, like let's see where
this takes us, because it's just like I need to know. So, yeah,
I got to a point where I just wasn't excited.
But I think my Mom'd be like, well, why you're
not excited? Cool, I'm blessed, I'm thankful, I'm always I'm
always thinking, I'm always praising. But like, yeah, this reaction

(17:10):
y'all looking for, Yeah, it's probably not. Maybe it was
a defensive mechanism, was just being nervous and being afraid,
you know, yeah, just being just being afraid. But this
was the first time that I've been able to really like,
you know, take it in because it almost felt like
a clean slate, you know what I'm saying. So for me,
it's I'm able to embrace it because at this point

(17:33):
the movie could be a box office sellout or can
have you know, one person in the theater. But to
know that I possibly have given like an award winning
performance is enough for me, you know.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Open opened up a lot more.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yes, it is for me. You know. I went from
a lot of nose and all I ever wanted people
to do is give me that one little yes that
would show the world what I got, and no one
would give it to me.

Speaker 4 (17:59):
So you see you hit the byron. They didn't see
the byron.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
But that it's all been funny stuff, a dramatic now
like it wasn't nothing that would make people be like, okay, cool,
like I can trust her with this. You get what
I'm saying. If I did get a lot of movie roles,
it was I had to be the hot girl. I
had to be you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yeah, funny, Yeah, yeah, it's just it was cool with
all your body those Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah, I'm gonna do my job. All right, I'm gonna
do a job.

Speaker 4 (18:24):
How much does it so?

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Then where does it shift?

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Like what you're chasing in your life?

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Because I would imagine, like young you, you chasing like
it's not even fame, It's right, I would. I don't
want to speak for you, but what I get from
you is like you're chasing this like level of success
in you're using your talents, right, like even in this moment,
what does this moment mean? And what do you hope
it means moving forward?

Speaker 1 (18:47):
I mean the moment, I'm just basking in it, you know, like,
and honestly, I ain't gonna from like I'm so occupied
and just like.

Speaker 4 (18:59):
Just being so oh thankful, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Like it's hard to describe because this is something I
prayed for him and waiting for and you know, me
being in the industry for as long as I've been
in like and being signed to who I was signed to,
I've been around the biggest of the biggest. You feel
what I'm saying, Like I had already worked with Beyonce
when I just just got signed for Rell and working
through working with Beyonce, like her even asking me like

(19:24):
what's your situation? You know I would never get that day.
What do you I had just signed, I had just
signed with Pharrell, and I had worked with her on
the Ringo Alarm video and I sung for her and
and her mom on the elevator cause you know, I
was just I was just getting put on. But I
had scared yes, and yeah, Beyonce loved that because like

(19:45):
you know, I was young, but I walked in like
full of life.

Speaker 3 (19:48):
I was like, hey, everybody, I'm like, oh, she loved it.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
She loved it, you know. So it was just like,
you know, after we got the work done and we
kind of like just had a moment to like wind,
she was like, what's the situation, Like are you signed?

Speaker 4 (20:03):
Like you know what I'm saying, I'm like, yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
I'm signing for real. I just signed for real. She's like,
is the ink dry? And I was like, yeah, you
know what I'm saying, But it's just like honestly, like,
you know, she's been so supportive, like anytime I would
running too her, like she always knew everything that I
had going on, you know what I'm saying. And I
feel like that's just like true woman empowerment because you know,
that was one of the main things of what really

(20:26):
pushed me to my limit as far as like when
I even went to retire, because I always felt like,
you know, we screaming, yell and holler about women empowerment,
but we're not really empowering one another behind closed doors.
At this point, women empowerment is for an aesthetic, you
know what I'm saying. So to come into industry at
fifteen to a Beyonce and then also have you know,

(20:47):
all the women in my life be extremely affectionate. All
I knew was that was love and affection. So I
had it from my family and then I had it
from Beyonce. Feel what I'm saying, no real shit, So
even that I feel like Beyonce plays a big part
in like what shaped me into being as like graceful

(21:09):
as I am within the industry, you feel what I'm saying,
because it's just like she gave me genuine love, you
know what I'm saying, and she didn't know I was
signing for real noneer that she was what's up, what're
we doing? You know what I'm saying, Like she saw yeah, exactly.
So it's like going into the industry, you know, just
doing for everybody, showing up for everybody, like styling for everybody,

(21:32):
choreographing for everybody, you know, designing for everybody, you know,
writing for everybody after sup never even been credited for it.
I'm fine with that, but when I call on you
for a little bit of help and it's not reciprocated,
that's the part that hurts, you know what I'm saying.
And it's just like a lot of people that I
called for my albums, a lot of people that I
called for different things was ghost you feel what I'm saying.

(21:56):
So it was hard for me to process that because,
like I said, I'm coming from Beyonce, the biggest start
in the world, and show genuine love and genuine woman
empowerment everybody. I did. But that's like, you know, that's
like if your first boss is super nice. You're gonna
think like this, this is how it is. You feel

(22:16):
what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, and it's not.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
And I had and I had to learn that and
and I'm okay with it. That's why you you'll ever
see me on Instagram Rand twitters. I keep to myself
and I stayed in my family, you know what I'm saying,
Like I'm on my business. I love being unproblematic, like
I stayed. I don't get in nobody's business. How has
been a how has family life? Wife? Mom?

Speaker 2 (22:35):
How has it all changed in terms of I don't
know what your drive was, what you were trying to accomplish.

Speaker 4 (22:42):
I feel like it made me go harder.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Really, I mean, you know, when you got kids in
the family, you're not playing about that, because now you're
playing with my time. Time I don't have, I got
pta meetings and you know, like.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
You know it's Junie. She's at that age where you
know she wants.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
To go to ballet or you know, uh, just all
types of stuff. It's things that she want to do.
It's time to be a mommy. So I want to
make sure that my time is being well utilized. If
I'm gonna step away from being mom that. I mean, really,
is there a fire outside?

Speaker 2 (23:21):
They're aggressive today with the horns. Sorry, baby, what's on
your mind? Feel like something's on your mine right now?
You're okay, yep, you just went somewhere.

Speaker 4 (23:30):
Yeah, no, no, I'm good.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
You went somewhere on me just now, just thinking, That's
what I'm saying. I do we have like random moments
of the day where I really just I hate how
cliche it sound, would like I really just be thinking
about everything, like I'm so thankful, you know what I'm saying. Like,
I do be having them times where I'll just well

(23:54):
zone out and just really think about life and like
just where I am. You know, tell me that though,
like break that down, Like what is that? What does
that mean?

Speaker 4 (24:03):
I've been dealing with.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
A lot of shit that I really cannot explain. It's
a feeling more than it is something that is expressible,
you know, Like it's just yeah, I will have these
random time I'll just stop and just like thank God,
you know what I'm saying. So sometime when I just
be getting stuck, I'll be like, damn, really even just
sitting here and just like talking about life. You know,

(24:24):
when you're talking about life, you start to think back
the different times, and you know, to think about a
lot of people that have been defeated by their demons,
you know what I'm saying, Because you got people that
are defeated, You got people that defeat, and I've been
lucky enough to be able to defeat rather than be defeated,

(24:45):
you know what I'm saying. With all the distractions and
all the things that the enemy try and throw your
way during your faithful So just to even think about that,
like just how many times God has shielded me, you know,
protected me because he knew that He was preparing me

(25:06):
for something. So don't go fucking up your ship, you
know what I'm saying, Like with a out of off
of impulse, you know what I'm saying, and temporary anger,
don't go making no permanent decisions with temporary anger and
temporary feelings and you know, temporary thoughts.

Speaker 4 (25:23):
Or because that's that's the enemy.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
That's the enemy's job to distract you, and sometimes they'll
send people closest to you to do that, you know.
So becoming a mom has taught me patience and gave
me literally the purest, most genuine love ever you feel
what I'm saying, Like least the purest they come out

(25:46):
of you to give you nothing but love. It changes you, right,
it does, because for a long time I didn't even
feel like beautiful.

Speaker 4 (25:54):
You know what I'm saying. It didn't matter, really didn't
matter how.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
Even as the time you got to your you were
a mom, you were already like Tiana Taylor.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
But that's what I'm saying. Everybody fight their own little
quiet battles, you know what I'm saying. And granted I
may be Tiana Taylor, but I may not have been
what they felt like the state of the beauty was
when I was in the industry. You feel what I'm saying, So.

Speaker 4 (26:20):
I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
But it's just like having a kid tell you beautiful
just hit different, you know what I'm saying, Because one
kids are very honest. So it's like, you know, being
a mom has like really built my self esteem in
a lot of ways.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
So thing about that time though, because I think people
looking at you could probably think they can't even imagine that.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
Like would think about it too. When I was younger,
I got teased having a deep voice or my lips
being big. You feel what I'm saying like I got
teased for all that, so coming into the industry and
people are all voice man deep, you know what I'm
say saying, like if you if you're dealing with kind
of some of the things, if you was dealing with

(27:04):
coming up, then to you it seems to be true.
You know what I'm saying, Like, I don't know, it's
a weird thing, That's what I'm saying. I feel like
we're talking about a lot of shit that I never
really talk about. You know, I kind of just I
chuck it up and I keep it pushing. I've done
it all of my life. Literally all thirty two years
of my life, I've literally kept pushing. So it's just

(27:24):
like that's why I'm like, it's really hard to get
into a lot of things or even just try and
break down what I'm trying to say, because it's all within,
it's all feelings, whether it's good or bad. You know
what I'm saying, Like, this is a hard thing because
I don't really well about it.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
I think those are the things that connect us, right
because I think, like I went to dinner the other
night with a friend that I've been in the business with.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
He's been in the game. As long as me and
we see each.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Other, we show love. You probably have mad people like this.
You and I are kind of probably like that, Like.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
We always show love. You always felt like I got love.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
For you, right, But we never really sat like so
it's just a friend like that somebody I knew, I respect.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
We had dinner and he's in the middle of going
through something real, like.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Super real, and we start sharing like some of the
shit all that's going on in our real lives, and
I just was like, I know this dude for thirty years.
I never realized that we have like some of the
same challenges and my man has some of the same
child like sometimes I think we all see each other.
We cross each other and pass.

Speaker 4 (28:21):
In the streets.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
Even family members, Yeah, oh that's my cousin.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
He loves all I am.

Speaker 2 (28:24):
But they don't know when you wake up in your
low moment, like what what your demons are or you
talk about having demons.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
But like.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
I think of people watching this when people sit at
home that are in the trenches of that type of shit,
like and need to feel like it's not they're not
by themselves.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, it's definitely not by themselves. I think that's why
this is important, but also why it is important to
share it because you know, there's there's there's there's demons
all around, there's demons in human form. There's demons. That's
that's the enemy, that is the distraction. So a demon
can just be something as small as a distraction. You

(29:05):
feel what I'm saying. So we're all fighting a battle,
We're all fighting demons. That's why I said it's about
who is being defeated versus who is defeating. I defeat,
my defeat the motherfuckers not playing with y'all. You feel
what I'm saying, because my God is stronger.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
What do you think has been your real life biggest
demon or distraction that you've had to like constantly check?

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Hm.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
I know that's a heavy one, but.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
I guess like how I let things affect me, you know,
because I go into everything with just so genuine and
like with so much love. So I ain't gonna front
like I at a point in time where I would
get in my feelings about everything. Well, whoever, you're gonna
know how I feel. I'm gonna keep it a being.

(29:55):
You can deem me as difficult, I don't care, you know,
what I'm saying, You're not gonna play me.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Because that because people hurt your feeling or yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Like I've got my feelings hurt. But I think also
like just also having a bit of like abandonment issues.
You feel what I'm saying, and just want to feel
protected and want to feel safe. And I think that
that's what hurt with them being in the industry and
being signed to certain people that I looked at, look
to for protection and kind of like allowed whoever else

(30:28):
to do whatever with me. You feel what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
So it's just like, I don't know, it's a lot
what is the abandonment issues from? Because your family is around.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
But my mom was a single parent. My biological pops
was in jail like thirteen fourteen, here's my life thirteen
something like that. And so even with that, you know,
before my mom found true love and happiness, was just

(31:01):
both loved Bow money Pops. Thank God.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
Not everybody has a good Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
That's my boy.

Speaker 4 (31:08):
That's another one one of my dogs. If I said
you my dog, like I fuck with whatever.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
You know what I'm saying, and and and that's.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
That's who BO is.

Speaker 1 (31:14):
But like before you know, VOT really came around and
we got super duper close. You got to think about it,
like coming from that not really having a dad, and
then you know, another figure in my life wound up
getting murdered. You know, the closest thing. You know, how
old when that when that happened? How old are you

(31:36):
when that happened? I had to be involved, and that's
why my pops, my pops were still locked up, so
I had to be partly about like eleven or twelve,
my mom's uh at the time was murdered, and that
she just took me down, you know what I'm saying.
So my biological pops coming out of jail, us trying

(31:58):
to build a wayship, we just kept clashing. Rees were
clashing because it's like you got out thinking you was
about to like tell me how this ship run, and
it's like, bro, you've been like for dumb long. You
don't even know how to work the steering wheel, like
you you fee what I'm saying. You don't even know
how to work the cap that chair? What the fuck
is you talk about? You call him dad or were
not first name?

Speaker 4 (32:15):
But the crazy what about it is? I wanted that
figure so bad that yes.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
When he first got out, I was excited to say, dad,
until he got me fucked up a little bit, you
feel me, So then it.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
Was just like being signed, getting signed to.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
A man. You know. It was like a figure to me,
you know what I'm saying, Like, oh my god, Like
you know, I looked at these people like figures, you
know what I'm saying. Whether it was as a as
a dad or as a brother.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
It didn't matter.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
So it was like you didn't see me when you
didn't hear me, you didn't protect me. You just kind
of just like fed me to the wolves type shit
without even probably even knowing you know what I'm saying.
And those are goals were you know, some of those
conversations still need to be.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Had.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
I was gonna say, will you personally, I mean, you
share whatever you want to share today or not share,
but will you at some point in your life because.

Speaker 4 (33:14):
You don't want to hold on to nothing like I
don't know if.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
You've had already with some of those figures, have had
these like honest conversations about how it's affected you and
and how it hurt you, or you had.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
A really really really really deep and honest conversation with
Forrell because you know that he was the first person
to sign me, and you know he was skateboard pe
I was skateboard tea. You know what I'm saying, Like
that was you cannot tell me that wasn't my pops,
you feel me?

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Like?

Speaker 4 (33:41):
And I really like, did he know that?

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Though?

Speaker 3 (33:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (33:43):
You know what's crazy. He didn't have He didn't have
kids at the time, and he wanted like he wanted
kids and he would be.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
Like, yo, she called me her pops like he was
really proud of that, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
But he could he really understand what that meant though,
like knowing what you've been through with your pops and
how trigger.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
Yeah, he didn't. He didn't know of those things. You
got to think about it. Like for me, walking it
out was really like his baby twin, you know what
I'm saying. Like we both from the Daily Met had
on damn near the same fit, you know what I'm saying.
So it's just like, oh, yeah, she really little me.
You feel what I'm saying, it's really my little nigga,
you know what I'm saying. Likes and that's what it was.
And he was you know, like a figure to me

(34:22):
in some sort, you know. So it's just like to
hold you at such a pedestal, and you know, at
the same time, you know, he's not confrontational at all.
He's literally one of these people in just the whole
wild world, you know what I'm saying. So it wasn't
that he didn't protect me. I just think a lot
of hands started going into the cookie jar. You feel

(34:42):
what I'm saying, And he didn't, you know, like it's
p like he's not about to be like no all y'all,
Nigga's back up. You feel me, like you know, maybe
he was heard about some things. Maybe you know what
I'm saying, You just you don't know. Maybe it could
have been a thing of pride and ego at the time.

Speaker 4 (34:59):
We don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
To me as a fifteen year old, was you didn't
protect me. You let everybodys mishandle me.

Speaker 4 (35:08):

Speaker 1 (35:09):
When I signed to you, you know what I'm saying, like,
and you let everybody get in away, you let everybody
break us apart.

Speaker 4 (35:16):
You didn't protect me, you know.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
So I understand that that's like probably so hard for
him to hear.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
That it took me a long time tos like I said,
think even though I'm saying all of this, this is
not things that like I showed.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
You get what I'm saying it, I had the tough
exterior of any young girl.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
I'm gonna get my job done. That's why I said,
I bitch morted to holler to my personal friends, my
mom or whatever.

Speaker 4 (35:39):
But I'm gonna get the job done, you know.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
And I just recently share that with him, And I
want to say it might have been like right after
Fade came out. That's made it even doper because for me,
I was at the top, top top when that shit
came out, you know. And I love that I was
able to just like share that with him during bring
up a high, you know what I'm saying, and not

(36:02):
like hitting somebody up while you're angry and sitting around
somewhere bitter. Nah, I wasn't that. So I was like
in a super like just poised, graceful place. It's just
kind of like let him know just how proud I
was of just us, you know what I'm saying, Like
how far we've come. So it was never a thing
of like, y'all, I feel away. It was really like, yo,

(36:23):
I won't let you know I really love you and
I appreciate you know every That's what it was. You know,
I'd be basking in my blessings I do, and I'd
be having the moments while I just thinking, I'm like, damn,
like no matter how I felt when I was younger,
like none of these doors would have ever open if
it wasn't for Pete. So one thing about me is
I just know how to give thanks, you know what

(36:44):
I'm saying to the people who has blessed me. So
it's like.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
With him, it's while I.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Hold him on such a hot passuit because I didn't
have a dad, you know what I'm saying, and he
enjoyed me bragging about him, like you know, calling him
dad because maybe something that he wanted, you know what
I'm saying. He wanted kids at the time really bad,
and maybe he was in whatever space he was in,

(37:14):
but it was clearly the emotional space for the both
of us.

Speaker 4 (37:17):
And it's just I don't know.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
My mom always taught me to be grounded and just
be thankful for people that are blessings to me. So
it's just like even it is mad if I was hurt.
I was a mom, so I had learned patience, I
learned grace, I learned you know. So it's just like
I was really hitting him up to just like say
thank you, you know what I'm saying, for everything, because

(37:42):
also knowing him as well as I know him, it
wasn't the thing.

Speaker 4 (37:45):
That you did on purpose.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
You didn't purposely not protect me, you know what I'm saying.
It might have been a thing where like you like,
you know, he's so gentle, you know, and just kind
of just like let everybody push him off away. And
I guess for me, that fifteen year old, that girl
just needed you to fight a little harder, you know
what I'm saying, needed you to maybe push even if
you didn't have the strength to. I just needed you

(38:08):
to push for me more, you know what I'm saying.
So that being my first experience and then going on
with life and just constantly receiving disappointments or just a
lack of protection, a lack of fight, you know, which
maybe even like run over into why I'm able to
have a healthy communication with why it's certain things I

(38:29):
don't play about. You feel what I'm saying, Like you
need to fight. This is what you want, you fight
for it, you know what I'm saying, And I think
that that's what gave me. I'll fight for every role.
I fight for every blessing. I fight, and I'm willing
to do the work. And I fight because I haven't
really had many people here to fight for me, you
know what I'm saying. Like, of course got my mom
that was there to fight for me, but we both

(38:50):
learned in the industry as we go, and because she's
a woman in the industry, she's considered a problem for
knowing too much, you feel what I'm saying. So it's like,
that's what I think that the abandonment is who sorry
showing up for everybody, you know what I'm saying, and
people not Really.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Isn't it crazy how like a moment like that could
even and you probably even in the time you were
probably angry because things didn't go the way you want it,
but like when you realize how much it like affected
the young girl and why it wasn't just because you
were disappointed in the business.

Speaker 1 (39:20):
But this is why I also don't do a lot
of interviews because it's just like I don't you know,
I don't like to have people in the group chat.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
You feel what I'm saying, like, get it.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
You know, I love staying in myself and I don't
want to ruffle any feathers, Like I don't like this
kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 (39:38):

Speaker 1 (39:40):
I don't want to push you too far. That was cool,
I don't, But I do want to give him his flowers.
Because even at that time, when I finally expressed to
him the things that I have felt, it was so
genuine and it was so sweet, Like I wasn't even angry,
like I said, I was in a moment of like
because at that time I did for like once they
came out like it did feel like a moment y'all
was basking and all of my blessings, and I knew

(40:02):
that I could not continue to bask in that without
reaching out to the person who made everything all possible,
you know what I'm saying. So I hit him up
and want some like thankful shit, and I just didn't
expect for it to hit him the way that it
hit him. You know, these apologies and it was you
know what I'm saying, It was accountability. And you know,

(40:22):
it's no need to get into detail about the conversation,
but it was accountability most importantly, And I think that
that is the part that's just like you know, like
fore you huh? Did free you?

Speaker 4 (40:33):
I like it did?

Speaker 1 (40:36):
It freed me to to actually hear his side. It
freed me to not judge him based on maybe what
I judge him at fifteen. That's what I'm saying, Like
becoming a mom and becoming a wife and learning communication
and learning that you know the same way you're going
through something and dealing with things. It's another side, you know,
it's not just you.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Did that conversation help you? I know things are sensitive,
so I want to be careful how assets, But did
that help you? And as the grown up having grown
up disappointment in your career? You know what I mean,
did you take it as hard when things maybe didn't
work out the next time as.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
You did with that time? Or I must say that,
you know, when I decided to depart from good music,
I mean not good music, decided to depart from Star Trek,
you know, it was a hard conversation. He didn't want
me to go, but I just felt like I needed

(41:33):
to explore myself, just as just I needed to find myself.
You know, I signed when I was fifteen. I got
out of the contract and I was like, what twenty
twenty twenty two, maybe like twenty one twenty two. You
feel what I'm saying. So it's like you don't understand
that that's a that's a long time, you know what
I'm saying, and you're trying to like figure out life,
and you're just like, I'm coming of age, you know,

(41:55):
I'm becoming a young woman. It's like I gotta figure
this out, you know, like I gotta figure it out.
And it was hard because it was also one of
the last conversations that I had with Jay Ice Pick,
you know, so that's tough one.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
That was my boy.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
So, you know, leaving that and then going to a
session because me and Gay Warrior like kind of like
fashion buddies or whatever. I remember coming to a session
so we could just kind of just talk about clothes,
and he had can you get ah yeah that song
and I was singing. He was like, oh, you know
how to sing for real? For real? Like can you
go and do something. That's how I got the opportunity

(42:29):
to get on that song.

Speaker 4 (42:31):
And I remember him asking.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Like, yo, what's your situation like what's up, Like, let's
get it popping, you know, and I thought, and then
once again it is he's a genius. You know. I'm like, okay, cool,
like maybe this is like the new A Star Trek
because that's what it was at the time, you know
what I'm saying. And it was just like okay, like
I'll figure it out. Yeah, this is good music now.
So now I'm like stepping into another situation after I

(42:55):
just got out of something very difficult. So it's like relationships,
you know, stepping out of one thing and going into another.
But me, I've always respected the people that's come be
for me. I've always respected, you know, just creative people.
So I'm not looking at it like I'm looking at
it like, you know, like he's a fucking genius. He's
like you know what I'm saying. Like, And it's crazy
because the first day I met Pharrell to sing to Pharrell,

(43:16):
him and Kanye was in town to do their record
number one on like Good Day New York is something
like that. But so that's crazy. That was a full
circle moment. But you know, yeah, to to sign to
to yay once again, I think I was looking for
you know, the protection, and I thought that maybe he

(43:39):
would get it right not no, not no, no, no, no,
like oh yeah, Kanye, you're my dad.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
Nah, we ain't doing it. Wasn't given. I was gonna say,
from fifteen to that age, yeah now are.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Yeah yeah, But it was When I say protection, I
don't I don't mean just like like on some father
figure shit. You want to just protection within the industry.
This is a dirty game. It's an industry full of
fucking wolves. You feel what I'm saying. And I'm leaving
one thing to go into another, you know, like no
matter where you go, when you go into a train station,
you going to a radio, and if everybody wants to

(44:09):
feel safe, they want the surroundings to feel safe. You
feel what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (44:13):
So it's like to jump into another situation.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Where was it? Even just the fade thing hurt more
because it's like, well, who was fade really for? And
even by the time Faye came out, I had been
signing to good music for a lot of years, you know,
And one thing about me is I'm a workaholic. I
work my ass off, So it ain't like like you
know when people are like, yeah, could you know that
person never got ahead because sid oh they had a
bad attitude. They didn't.

Speaker 4 (44:36):
That's not that's not me even ethic. It's like, yeah,
you know what I'm saying. So it's like talking about
this before you show up on time for stuff.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yeah, I take it very serious. Like my time management
is impeccable. Even during concerts, I will curse my whole staff.
I don't like being late for my shows. I don't
like being late anywhere. I feel what I'm saying. So
it was never a thing where it was like, oh,
her attitude or this has held her back. I did
everything I did. My moved boards, I styled myself, I
dressed myself.

Speaker 4 (45:03):

Speaker 1 (45:04):
I was doing a lot. I was really saving the
label a lot of money. So it's like the little
that I'm asking for, it really should not be a problem,
you know. So it's like when Faye came out, was like, yo,
like who is this really for? You know what I'm saying, Like,
who when do I get my moment? You have to
be thinking like.

Speaker 4 (45:19):
When do I get my moment? You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
And you know, like I said, I'm very grateful for
everyone who's been put into my life. Kanye is still
you know, provided life changing opportunities, and you know, I'm
so grateful, you know what I'm saying. But I still
feel like, you know, that is probably that is the
conversation that definitely needs to be had, you know. But

(45:45):
that's the other reason why I don't like I don't
like interviews because people would try and like bring up
my frustrations with my role or whatever to try and
like use it as a let's hate Kanye train. You
feel what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Do you feel like you're at a point now because
you looking for Parrel to protect you or Kanye will
protect you. But I'm wondering if you have changed your
perspective about who is here to protect you.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
I definitely changed my perspective after the Pharal and Kanye
thing is when I had to take accountability and really
continue to build an even stronger relationship with God.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
I feel like that I feel like, I don't know,
just I see you, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
I'm sorry, I don't know why I feel.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
Emotional about that.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
It's just, you know, it's a lot of things that
just haven't talked about, and I think also another thing
about it is my family and I have done so
well for ourselves that it's almost a thing of like,
oh yeah, Tianna's good.

Speaker 4 (46:47):
Like I don't think anybody ever really got.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
The opportunity to dive into me because everybody's just genuinely
so happy for me. And that's what I do. Like
the industry, like well, the people, like the world has
been so supportive of like me and my family and
a love on me and my family so much that
I think that it has never really been a real
looking you know. So it's like I said, like, oh yeah, yeah,
it's just always been like so overwhelmed and like just

(47:12):
being great that is never really I don't talk about much,
you know what I'm saying, Like I do keep a
lot of things bottled up. So it's like just this
whole press run for a NAZ has been like heavy
for me because really, yeah, because has been therapeutic for me.
You know. It was the first time I was able
to like put my cape to the side, like put
my mom cape to the side, put my super strong

(47:33):
woman cape to the side, and just really have a
moment of you know what I'm saying. Yeah, because the
majority of the time. You know us, being strong woman
is not by choice, you know what I'm saying. So
it's just like to go to set twelve hours a
day and be able to just like pour out and
cry out loud.

Speaker 4 (47:49):
Every single most you've seen in the movie was real,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
It was so when they yelled cut, I knew that
it was time to go back home and put the
cape back on and be okay, and be perfect and
be you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (48:02):
And then to the world.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
You know, everybody's just like you know, they show so
much love, and of course you want to inspire people
different things like that. So it's like a lot of
these things, my mind and life has been so occupied,
even just with my love for my husband and you.

Speaker 4 (48:18):
Know, my family, my babies.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
I've been so occupied that I never really had the
time to really dive into maybe things that have been traumatizing,
you know, I guess I never visited those those traumas.

Speaker 4 (48:29):
And I think promoting this movie, it's only like it's been.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Stirring up even just childhood trauma has been stirring up
a lot of things that I've just been able to
so wellly like keep to the back burner, and it's
all kind of coming to the folks.

Speaker 4 (48:44):
So you're a tough girl.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
Yeah, so whenever you probably feel intimidated or you feel
like vulnerable, you probably kick into like.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Harlem, you know what I'm saying. So people, but that's
another thing that I do kind of feel like it's
maybe a little bit misunder I'm actually just really an egg.
I look hard and you just kind of tap me
on the table a few times. I'm just yoke, you know, like.

Speaker 4 (49:06):
That that's me, you know, and I love that about you.
So but then when I tell you I see you today,
I see that. Yeah, it doesn't make me So I'm
actually saying that I'm very just beauty.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
I've been judged, Yeah, I've been judged of like people
just thinking like she aggressive, she are so I know
she probably over there, da da da. And it's just
like I've been judged with that when people probably think
that I was doing I probably think I said what
was easy to believe, and it is like.

Speaker 4 (49:28):
I'm actually like a fucking ball of marshmallows, you know
what I'm saying, Like I'm most people are you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
But finally forced to be in a survival mode. You
know what I'm saying, just just being a black woman
navigating life.

Speaker 4 (49:43):
And then this world in this industry too. Yes, I'm
saying the world, the industry.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
Is dirty, you know, it's it's just a lot. And
I do want to just clear one more thing, like
I'm very very grateful for Kanye, you know, and for Rell.
You know, I'm really happy that me for I was
able to have a conversation and hopefully the next thing
is you know, Kanye, because it's definitely a talk that

(50:08):
needs to be had in an accountability that needs to
be taken just from some brothers and sister shit, you
know what I'm saying, Like, by.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
The way, I don't feel like you acknowledging that something
hurts you or disappointed you equals you gotta be for somebody.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
I just don't I know the world is and unfortunately,
I just don't like to kick people down while they're down.
And I'm not saying that Yay is down, but like
he got so much going on. You know what I'm saying,
I don't need this to be another thing that's like,
you know, and I want to be there for you.

Speaker 4 (50:43):

Speaker 1 (50:43):
I want to I'm going to protect you. So I
was I'm a warrior, and that's that's what it was.
I've been a soldier on every single label, the most
law you you know what I'm saying, Like one of
the most lay you niggas on a squad. And that's
one thing that I could prowerfully, rightfully, right like when
I were cursed ya y'all, Like nigg I'm the most
lawyal on a team. You playing with me, you feel me?
But he really got to respect it because I am

(51:06):
you feel me, and don't get me wrong, like you
know everybody got that, but I'm definitely one of them ones.
You feel me. So it's like when I'm when I'm
looking for that, like how do you how do you
reciprocate that to your soldiers? How do you reward your
soldiers for you know what I'm saying, like holding this
ship down, holding this ship together gracefully, you know what
I'm saying. So I do feel like I deserve you know,

(51:26):
a conversation, and you know, accountability needs to be taken.

Speaker 4 (51:30):
So we could just like move past it. But it
is a lot a lot of questions that I have.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
I love that you want to get to it too. Yeah,
when as a mom, when it's time. Yeah, but that's
what I learned from marriage and being a mother. And
you have to have the patience to be willing to
have that conversation and say, okay, cool, let's just lay
it all out. You know because that time that you
that I may have thought you should it on me,
you may have been really going through some shit.

Speaker 4 (51:58):

Speaker 1 (51:58):
But I want to know that so I can take
accountability as well and say, okay, cool, maybe I should
have handled that differently.

Speaker 4 (52:05):
One thing I don't run away from is accountability.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
I don't I'm quick with it, you know what I'm saying, Like,
I don't mind that I have no I'm prideless. I'm
egoists when it comes to the people that I love,
you know what I'm saying. And that's why I think
it's hurtful because it's like, you know, these people have
real life bonds and relationships with so it's like, have
compassion and give me the things that I need, you

(52:29):
know what I'm saying. Because then when I'm ready to go,
everybody want to work it out. But it's like we
don't get to work it out and act like this
didn't happen before we can move forward. We have to yeah,
you know, we got we gotta iron this shit out.
We can't go into the room with a rink with shirt.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
I like that in real life? What are you most
proud of about yourself?

Speaker 1 (52:51):
In real life, I'm most proud of motherhood. I'm proud
of my babies. It was the first decision, first real
heavy decision that I made for myself. Like I remember
feeling like how Lauren felt in her record Zion. You know, yeah,
you know what I'm saying, like use your head with you?
What are you doing?

Speaker 4 (53:10):
Like this could possibly this?

Speaker 1 (53:12):
And I remember not letting anybody back me into a
corner and I followed my heart and it was the
best decision I ever made. And my second favorite was
once again following my heart when I when I decided
to retire, and I remember I got knocked into a corner.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
Do you know what this could do for you? You
know what can happen?

Speaker 1 (53:35):
And it wanted being as we sit here talking about
Oscar Buzz, you know what up being the best I've
really I've realized what I'm most proud of is like
following my heart, you feel what I'm saying, and making
the decision that I feel like it's best for me
because it hasn't stirred me wrong yet. That's what I'm
most I'm definitely the most proud of.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
And then so like from your real life in real life,
what do you what do you hope people like even
this conversation or just how you've chose to live your
life and the art you've just you've made.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
What do you hope that people take away from that
for their own lives.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
I hope I'm able to show people what real patients
look like. And you know, for me, you know, being
on the front end of things from fifteen, nobody ever
really got to see my struggle, you know what I'm saying,
Like it was always just me on the TV screen,

(54:33):
so always just looked like life was handed to me,
you know what I'm saying, Like things happened overnight and
it wasn't that. And I think the number true testament
to you know the fact that I never gave up,
always remained a hustler, always remain hungry, always remain humble.
Hopefully where people can take away from this in my

(54:54):
career as patients, and to keep going and knowing that
you know, something that make you sad doesn't mean it's
the end of the world, you know, And also just
going into it knowing that in this life, just be
willing and ready to accept the apologies that you've never gotten,
you know. And I think that that's where I am,
and like even just down with the conversations, like I know,

(55:15):
I want to have a conversation, but I've accepted the
apology a long time ago before you even get it. Yes, yes,
And that's why I'm able to blossom, and I'm able
to continue to move gracefully, and I'm able to be
blessed and have a great relationship with God. You know
what I'm saying, continue to have a great heart, and
to continue to walk on my path and just understand

(55:37):
and take.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Things for what it is and continue to use your
gift because clearly you're not going nowhere, no matter what.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
Happens, you're not going nowhere exactly. And now I'm in
a space where I'm like, I'm I'm like, you know,
working with a lot of the new girls coming up,
and they're just like it's great because I'm catching them early.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
So now I can instill in them.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
You know what wasn't necessarily instilled in me, something I
had to like learn myself, Like I said, learned like
a little bit of it from you know, Beyonce. Like
what I do is I choose to hold on to
the positive rather than hold on to the negative. So
even though it was way more, way more just like
fake woman empowerment, it's just a little tiny bit of Beyonce.

(56:22):
Always just carry that little tiny bit beyond.

Speaker 4 (56:25):
Is a little bit you got the grit you got.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
What I'm saying is one person, one female showing you
love versus a thousand females showing fake woman empowerment that
anybody will fold and anybody will get caught up in that.
So what I'm saying is I took my Beyonce chunk
rather than taking this big ass mountain. You feel what
I'm saying, Like, I took this one rock with me.

Speaker 4 (56:50):
Does she know how much that you she means?

Speaker 1 (56:52):
This is my first time, this is my first time
really expressing it, you know what I'm saying. Like, and
every time me and Beyonce like see one another, like
it's always like when we're out, but like Beyonce will
have her securities. Hey, Beyonce wants you like she always
makes sure I have like my private time and really
just kind of like chop it up.

Speaker 4 (57:11):
But because I'm an artist myself.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
I ain't gon for I'm the person where like I
don't overstay my welcome, so I know sometime I might
come across it's like, oh damn, bitch, you leaving already.

Speaker 4 (57:20):
But for me, I don't you know like how I
want to be treated.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
On top of that that, but you are still beyonest,
Like I'm about to be talking your ear off, like
I'm so shy and I'm not a pestifist person like
I would think any little thing is being like a pest.

Speaker 4 (57:34):
You feel what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
So it's just like she asks me how I'm doing,
and like and and we really chopped it up and
she she knows everything.

Speaker 4 (57:41):

Speaker 1 (57:42):
I love that every time I see she's embracing me
about something else that I did, and I'm like, well girl,
it was just a little commercial. You feel what I'm saying,
But for her it's a big thing. To her, she
watched me grow up. You feel what I'm saying. So
to go from this fifteen year old girl she meant
to a mother or wife and you know, like she's
really proud of that. So, like I said, carrying that one,

(58:02):
that one rock with me has played a big part
beside my mom. And you know, the other woman in
my life played a big part in my grace and
how I moved in the industry. Like she taught me
to invest in myself. Like when I went to a concert,
she had a whole bunch of meat and Greece to do,
but she really took out the time and it was
just like yo, tea, like I see how you perform.
You feel what I'm saying, Like it's okay to invest

(58:23):
in yourself, And I take out my own money and
da da da. From there, you couldn't tell me nothing
about my performances. I put whatever I needed to put
into my performances.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
And even she just like whatever you need call me.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
I'm never gonna call you. Feel mean, like I'm just
not gonna do that. You feel me. And I hope
she knows the rock that she has, how much she's
been a rock throughout my career.

Speaker 4 (58:49):
Oscars who will come back after the Oscars.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
An ego yes, why not?

Speaker 4 (58:57):
If not you, then who I need all the trophies.
But I'm just I'm grateful for even a nomination.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
I just love that she hasn't lost any of that.
Get this nomination, I'm done with that.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
But yeah, we're gonna claim it.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
We're gonna manifest all the gold he got.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Thank you to our guest the Future you got winner,
Tianna Taylor, Thank you.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Love h

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