July 9, 2025 • 33 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re with Golden couple Joan and Chock! We kick off the episode with a girl chat between Kathy, Susan, and Joan. Joan shares all the updates about her and Chock, including what’s next for her! Then, we bring Chock in and the four Goldens dish out some great advice to our listeners. They dive into a question from one of our listeners about grief and we get some incredible insight. If you’re struggling with grief, this is definitely the episode for you — we’re all here for you! Tune in now to hear all this and so much more and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks
so much for joining us again. Kathy and I are
always excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
We are so excited today our latest episode. You have
to check it out. We have been having so much
fun answering all your questions, chatting with Bachelor Nation favorites.
We're just having a blast.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
How are you doing, Susan?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I'm doing great? How about you? Actually, it's like chili here.
I can't even believe it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It's June, you know what.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
This is why you don't chilly in the mid Atlantic
or the Northeast, because summer doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
It just happens a day or two and that's it.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I'm really excited about today's guest though. Finally, right, finally,
we have two very special guests. One is with us
right now and we're waiting on the other one to
join us shortly. And it is let's welcome our Golden couple,
our dear friend Joan and Chuck will be here shortly.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Are you, Joan?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Can't believe we finally do this, this what like ten months?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I think I'm telling you. We have so much we
want to talk about with you.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
But first of all, let's well, we're going to ask,
even though Chalk's not here, how you two doing tell
us the scoop because Chalk can't hear.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Us, He'll never hear what I'm saying. We are great.
We were just in New York City together on next week,
we're going to the beach for two weeks together with
my entire family, and then his kids are joining us
about halfway through the vacation. Things are great. It's just
kind of everything beach.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Do you go to?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
What's out?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
What beach do you go to? Where are you taking them?
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Ocean Citney, Maryland. Yeah, it's only.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah, So wait, are you guys still talking about moving
to New York or not or not moving?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
But have you a place?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
But yeah, In fact, we got re energized when we
were there. We were there last week with my mom
and my aunt who are in ninety three and eighty three.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Saw that Oh my god, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
We had a great time. But we both got like
really re energized. We kind of stopped looking a little
bit just because life got really busy and we didn't
really want to get a place up there that we
weren't going to spend much time in because you know,
obviously it's expensive and it's a bit of a trip
for him. It's easy for me, I can take a
train up there, but he has hop on a plane
to get there. And so we really wanted to make
sure we would like had the time to really spend
(02:28):
and you know, be there, and that seemed to not
really be happening. Like we came off the show, and
we thought we would have all this time like we
would come with the show, we would just go to
do we wouldn't anything else to do. And we were
so lucky. We got so many other opportunities. We've been
a lot of things with you guys obviously, so we
got really lucky. And but it did, first of all,
(02:49):
make it hard for us to even look for a
place because if you're not in New York City, when
you're looking for a place in New York City, you
miss out on them. They're available for a day or
two and then they're gone. And we just never were
able to invest like a chunk of time just to
go up and hang out and be there if things
became available. So we think after like the summer, things
(03:10):
will get easier and we'll when we'll have that time.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
So yeah, but their hearts still there. You still want
to get a place.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
In fact, even more after we now spend more time there,
we get more and more comfortable.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
You know.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
It's a little bit of an intimidating city, and now
both of us feel pretty comfortable there and we're less
focused on one particular area which we were in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Open, yeah, and we're liking.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Other places a little more. We feel more comfortable in
other places, so it's going to be easier and we're
going to have more time, like in September ish.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, so wait, no, no, no, wait, it's September because
you are coming to visit me.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Finally.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
We've got that on the schedule too. Joe and Nancy
and Susan, we're all gonna we're going to descend on
Austin and we're going to I'm gonna, I'm Susan.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's going to clock I.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Once, but I'm serious. It's so excited you guys are coming.
It's gonna be so fun.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I so appreciate the invitation. I've never been to Austin.
Plus I would go to like Albert Quirkie year, I
would go to some Iowa or whatever with you guys,
just to be with you all because we have fun
wherever we go. But I excited about going.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
You're gonna love. Have you been to Texas anyway?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
My son played in a football game there, so I went.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
To because I lived in Dallas, right outside of Dallas
in Arlington for nine years. I know Texas. Never went
to Austin. When I went to Kathy's house, I was like,
this is Texas, Joan. It's like here, windy roads, trees,
a lake, like really it.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Well because I live in the hills.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Yeah, but he talks about Austin like it's a really
young community now and it's beautiful. It's like the place
to be.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
It is.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
And I have a good friend who has a fancy
boat that's gonna take us all out on the lake.
I'm going to show you millionaires row out of the
like we're gonna have a blast.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Gen will be looking for a place at Austin now.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
I'm going to be looking for men for Kathy and Nancy.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yes, that's right, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Excuse me, you're making an assumption here, John, I am.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Do you have somebody you can't tell us?
Speaker 5 (05:18):
Joan.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
It's so weird because you look and you see all
the girls, you know, like from the show. You're like,
oh my god, oh my god, I saw April Tasha.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Like such a like a like a full circle kind
of you know, that got to now be part of
like another bachelor franchise.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I'm seeing your men from your show, like just looking
at it was really cool and might be like everybody there, Yeah,
there are.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Some I'm just gonna say there might have been some
fun going on with some of those guys from your show.
My lips are sailed. I'm zipping it. I'm speaking of
speaking of relationships. You know, I'm going to ask you John,
any wedding updates on you guys.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Getting married this summer, so like I'm focusing on that,
and honestly, like you know, I just don't feel like
planning a wedding right now. We are in a good place.
We don't need to have like a wedding certificate to
say that we are in.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
A good place right right.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
And you know, there's also like a little part of
my brain that says, if we get married, then we
have to make more of an effort to live in
the same place, and we're not ready to do that yet.
He has a business that is like his attention and
or he can sell it, and like the end goal
is to sell it. But right now it needs his attention.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So you have time. You have plenty of time.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I don't have the biological clock. I'm not having any babies.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yes, right, exactly. This is the best part.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Wedding. I mean, one day I'll have a wedding.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
If when you do, you want it to be big
or an intimate small?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Yeah, I think intimate small. I've done a big wedding.
I've done my kid's big weddings. Like I have big
weddings in my life right now that like I could have,
you know, I could elope at this point, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Going to say at our age, I honestly, I'm not
even sure that wedding.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Is a is a thing.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You don't even have to know.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I really don't have to you know.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
What can I tell you? Joan?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I want to tell you, and you need to be honest.
Now it's truth. No one's listening but us. Let's be honest.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Let's be honest. Why you don't have time to plan
a wedding? Do you want me to tell you why?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Because she's planning her son's too.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
No, that's not it.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Joan knows because Joan spends every spare minute cooking recipes
and putting them on Instagram and TikTok, And I can
I just tell you if I cooked Joan, it was
just a big stretch. But if I did your recipes, like,
I want to bookmark them and save them because they
are they're easy, Like, they're not hard to make and
(07:58):
they look delicious.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Would you do hard stuff? I would. If I had
to cook hard stuff, I just wouldn't cook either.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
So right, So, so you like the compliment right about
all the cooking you do.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Thank you very much for sgrecting.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
When you come in October, bring those.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Or you just have to give her a list of
the ingredients that we'll need.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Joe, when I talked, I'm gonna I am going to
do I just haven't had a chance yet. I am
going to be doing a spoof, something everyone can.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Look forward to.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
I'm going to be so funny.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, I'm going to do a spoof. We have an
all planned.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just haven't had the time to do it yet
because I've been taking care of grandchildren and sick friends.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And you and I'll get together and talk and decide
what it is we're making.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I know because you know what. I just I've been
watching the I've been watching Got to Get Out. Finally,
i've been watching you so funny. But I saw you
cooking chicken pecatta. I'm like, oh, I chicken pecana right now?
Can we make that? At least? Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
No? Susan said she'll cook one meal when you guys
are here, and I said, just send me the grocery
list because I can accept.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Like, what is that broccol you were just talking about, Susan?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Broccoli rob Do you know what that is?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Joan?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I do, And I don't love broccoli robb.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Unless it's made perfectly. Yes, but I've never heard of it.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
She just said she had broccoli robbed. I thought you
robbed what? I've never heard of it?
Speaker 4 (09:16):
But you know how she's a criminal.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
She had a veil and broccoli robbed for lunch, and
I had peanut butter crackers.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
That's about right. So all right, so tell us we
want to know what. Tell us how you're different.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Seriously, you your experience is so different than than what
we've experienced. Right obvious on the show. You are the lead,
you know all of it. How are you different?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Tell us what's it like navigating after the show?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, how it's got to be different. Your life has
to be different and getting from A to B.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Yeah, So I think like the big of it, Well,
first of all, I was only on the other show
for three episod so I didn't get as rich of
an experience as you guys really did because you were
there both lasted pretty long, so like I almost started
a little on the Like it was a little newer
to me to be in that environment for a long time,
you know, And I mean one thing that we probably
(10:17):
all know as you are there. The longer you're there,
the more comfortable you get and the more animated you get,
and the more your personality comes out. And I think
that like that was probably the biggest change for me,
Like I've kind of got to be myself. After a
little while, I got like became very comfortable like with
all the cameras and with all the people and navigating it.
But I have to tell you, it's a whole lot
(10:38):
more work the hours you work. I remember thinking Gary
gets to go home at night and like hang out
in his hotel room and doesn't have cameras around him
when we're on. True you are working. You are working
the entire time. You're doing b roll all the time,
you're doing these things called pickups. We think I used
to think he was at his hotel in that interview
(10:59):
room all time. While everybody is doing their stuff in
the house. You're in that little interview room and nobody
knows you're there, so you are. It's work, it's more
and it's also emotionally more draining because you don't have
anybody to talk to. You don't have your family to
talk to, which obviously, when you're a contestant, you also
don't have your family to talk to you, but you
(11:19):
have each other, and you have other people around you,
maybe some camera person that you've become you know, friendly with,
or you have other producers. I had only my producer
and my handler, and there's.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yeah, I would Carrie, Yeah, and Gina.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
So listen Carrie and Gina, who for those of you
who don't know, Carrie is the stylist for and he
is a miracle man.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
He's fabulous and yes, yeah's.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
But even more than like great, how great he does
his job. He was like my psychiatrist. And that's what
I yes, because you know, he's like one of the
few people. So you know, we know we have producers
and producers they're making a show and we don't have
to acknowledge it. You know, this is it's like a
kind of a parallel thing. They're making a show while
you're trying to find love and you hope it all
ends up at the same time, right, But you do
(12:15):
have to know that the producers are producing you a
little bit. You know, they're not doing it in a
They're doing it in a way that they are trying
to make a good show as well as you, and
they do it very well, and they did it perfectly
for me. I can't complain about anything my season. I
felt like they had my best interest in mind. But
like a unbiased person listen to how you're feeling. That
(12:39):
isn't trying to produce you.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
It was not like calling us on the phone and saying, guys,
I'm feeling this, this and this. What do you think?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
So yeah, but here's the thing, Joan.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You you were working full time prior to going to
being the Golden Bacherette, and then you did that and
now your life that's kind of what I was hat
is how different I mean, not only you engaged and
you know, found your guy, but your life and how
do you navigate that. I know you're planning your son's
(13:09):
wedding and you have children.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Like yeah, So so I came off the show and
I left Tahiti on a Friday, and I went to
work Monday morning, like I was ready to just go
back into my regular life. Yeah, I found out how
much press I needed to do. Normally you do about
two weeks of press. You do a week in New
York and a week in La. I had like five
weeks of press. So I went and told my boss,
(13:32):
like what my press schedule was going to be, and
he said, you can't work here anymore. He's like, you
have to be gone too much. We need somebody here
working and you're like doing your job, especially since I
worked at a school and it was fall was hitting
and it was September, and he's like, you know, like
I need you here. And so I lost my job.
So I kind of had to replace like all of
(13:53):
those hours that I spent doing a job because I
like to work. I don't want to be I'm not
like a person that's going to go play pick a
ball for eight hour or.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Do you still want to work.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
I like, what still is working?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
No, no, I'm saying, but not you're not doing the full
time you know, nine to five job. No.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
I think I'd like to do something different now, Like
we're sitting at a desk at a school, you know,
talking to alumni or whatever, or planning events. Was fun
at the time, but I feel like I've gotten a
taste of a different world now. Yeah, I am intrigued
by and you know, I would love it if something
unfolded in you know, this bachelor arena or maybe as
(14:33):
a podcast or something different, But you know.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I would you want to do it with chalk or
by yourself.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
I would do it with chalk, certainly. But I do
like us to have kind of our separate things still
also to be honest, like, you know, one day we're
going to be spending twenty four day, seven days away
together and I still like having like my things, and
I like him having his things.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
And you missed some when he's not there. Isn't that
a good thing you you get excited about.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
I mean both of you have, and you don't.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You're not with your guys twenty four to seven, right,
And I mean, how do you feel about that.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I know Susan likes it. How do you feel, John, I.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Feel the same way as Susan. I don't think I
need to be with somebody twenty four hours. So let's
like say, when we're younger, you're raising kids.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
You're starting out, it's a whole different world.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
You want to have dinner with your family together, So
everybody needs to be together, right, a very different life.
You know that we're leading now, and it's surprisingly nice.
Like when I want to go and spend an evening
with my grandkids, or with my kids, or with some friends,
I don't feel guilty leaving my own home and going
with my kids or doing whatever, doing the things that
(15:45):
are making me happy. I don't feel like leaving them
home alone like I used to fill with my husband.
So this is nice, the freedom. We kind of get
the best of both worlds. You see each other, you're
really excited when you see each other, miss them, and
then when you go home, you have a freedom to
do what you want to do without guilt.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
So we're so glad Chock you're able to join us.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Let's move into our advice portion of the episode. We're
gonna kick things off of the question of the day,
and we'd love your thoughts, So go ahead, says give
us this question of the day.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Okay, what is something that you loved about being in
your golden error? What's something you think young people can
look forward to when it comes to aging.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Not letting the little stuff bother you.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
Amen, You've had experience, you know, it's just so much
of its little stuff. You just gotta go with the
flow and just keep smiling.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
What about you, Joan? I love that, Jock. What about you, Johan?
Speaker 4 (16:49):
I think feeling comfortable in your own skin, And that
took me a really long time. It took me so
probably I was in my golden years, probably till I
was sixty to really feel just comfortable with who I am,
and you know where my life.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Is being okay with you?
Speaker 6 (17:05):
Right?
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I think?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Do you think young people don't feel that way? Is
that something they can look forward to?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
I think so. I think it's hard. Like I think.
I think when you're younger, you you accept all the
judgment from people, and when you get older, you stopped
accepting what they think about you. You just have to
be good with yourself. So it was hard for me.
I don't know. Maybe you guys had more self confidence, or.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
It wasn't a way later in life that I felt
that way.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
You're right, Yeah, it took me a long time.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I would just add I agree with what both of
you said, But I also would say that as you
get into your golden years that you realize without sounding
you know, macabre, time is of the essence, like we
don't have You can't say I'll do that twenty years
from now. You know, we're looking at the clock saying
now's the time, so take you know, seize the moment.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I hate that expression.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Be right, it's true, that's true. Sweat the small stuff anymore. Yeah,
you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
You have your health right now and you don't know
what's coming down the pike. You may live for a
bunch of years, but you may not be healthy enough
to do things so in the moment.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
But I just think when kids, like we both we
all have young kids, you know, in their twenties and thirties,
and our kids say things, oh, you know we'll do
it that. You know, we don't have time now, we'll
do it in the future. Where I think at our age, uh, huh,
we do it now because we don't know. There's nothing guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Right now, we have one from our fans, Okay, we
like to share some advice with them. Whatever you think
you want to say, are you willing?
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Let's do it?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay? Hi, Kathy Susan. My dad's wife passed away unexpectedly
about two months ago. They were married for thirteen years.
He is, as you can imagine, just broken. Kathy. I
know you have mentioned that you lost your husband. Do
you have any advice I can give to him to
(19:10):
help him get through this difficult time? When will it
get easier? And when did it get easier for you? Kathy?
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Okay, Well, first of all, I don't know who sent
this question in, But first and foremost, let me just
say I'm so sorry that your dad's wife passed away.
I'm sorry for him and I'm sorry for you. Unexpected
death is never easy, so I can imagine how broken
(19:42):
your dad is. I would say the biggest piece of
advice I could give to your dad is take time.
There's no timeline here. Grief will come and go in
his life. It'll rear its ugly head when you least
expect it. Don't listen to other people when they say,
(20:06):
you know it's been six months or two months or
a year, live day to day, get through each day.
That's enough. Let him have Tell him to have grace
for himself. Give him self grace because you it's going
to be a struggle for a while. I would like
to say it's easy, but it isn't. And so give
(20:30):
himself the gift of time and grace. And he doesn't
have to meet a timeline. When will it get easier?
It'll get easier. When it gets easier, they'll be They'll
be tough days, they'll be easier days. I remember when
my husband first died. I ask the therapist, my grief therapist,
(20:51):
will there ever be a day when I don't cry?
And she said yes, but not today. And so that's
you know, that's what I would say to your dad.
It gets easier over time. Never heals, uh, it just
you learn to live with the group grief and walk
through it and open your heart again to other opportunities.
(21:12):
I still miss him every day I think about him,
but I'm also grateful for my life and the opportunities.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
And John, I want to throw.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
It to you because it's just going to husband died,
So what what would you add to that?
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Yeah, I think the smartest thing you said there was
give yourself grace. And I think that, like asking people
for advice, is actually kind of difficult because everybody does
it differently. Anybody I've never talked to you and I
have talked about it happy and anybody I've talked to like,
I say, how did you do it? What did you
do and or how did you feel? And we all
(21:47):
feel it differently. And so I would have, you know,
really really bad days where I just couldn't get out
of bed, and I would just be everybody's leave me alone.
I just need this day to feel the feels. And
then some I'd be like, I can't do all the
fields today. It's too hard, and I put it on
a back burner. But you have to give yourself grace
(22:07):
to feel the feels or to have a good day.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
And there's no right or wrong.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
There's no right or wrong, and that it's it's not
a quick journey. It's probably a journey that you're going
to have to go through your entire life. Have I
still have bad days sometimes Father's Day I went and
visited my late husband and my dad who died in
the same year like those both those grief feel differently,
but they still like take my breath away a little
bit when I feel about it, like when I think
about him. Sometimes sometimes I think about him and I
(22:35):
have total joy, like I had the greatest husband, I
had the greatest dad, and you know, the people I've
lost in my life, I feel lucky that they were
in my life. But sometimes I think, like, boy, this
really sucks not having him here. And I still have
that and it's been you know, a bunch of years.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, Kathy, you made a statement that time does not heal,
and I've always thought that time helps. I mean, more
time goes by than like Joan just said, you start
remembering the positive instead of dwelling on the sadness. And
I think that's what time would do for you. You
don't feel that way.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Oh, time.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I don't equate the passage of time with healing. I
equate time with with other with my heart, you know,
opening up new for new opportunities. But as Joan just said,
there are still days where you know, it's just really hard.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
So I don't think.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I don't know Joan, you maybe you agree and Chalk
you also lost You lost Kathy, and so you know
what it's like too, and and what can you add
to this conversation, because it's tough.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
You have pre and post.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
The post is what we all talk about and what
we deal with, and it's as you as you have said,
it's just each individually. Like coming up on the one
year of my mother July third, I miss her every day.
But the pre I would tell you is we all
know that we're on this earth for a limited amount
of time. Enjoy the moment you have with loved ones absolutely,
(24:06):
whether they're healthy or not, they're directly in your life
or it's a phone call, Just spend that time and
enjoy it. Because when you lose somebody like that, you
look back and you go, we had some great times.
Should I have spend a little bit more time? You
never know which we deal with that individually.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah, well, and I always it's never a contest. I mean, Joan,
you lost your husband to pancreatic cancer. Kathy died of
cancer as well, Chuck.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
Yes, yeah, gille blastoma, that's.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Right, brain cancer. Yeah. And I lost my husband to suicide.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
And I don't think there's ever a situation where you
know this one's better than that one. But I have
said this to Susan many times. Susan's divorced, and the
only advantage, if that's even the correct word to a divorce,
is Susan and her ex husband can talk. They can
(24:56):
say remember the time when, or I'm really sorry this happened,
because while they're divorced, they still are in each other's lives.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
But I lost siblings and that was their way way
younger than me. And you just think about why did
they take him before me? You know those questions. But
the pain is always there. But I try to think
of all the things that made me laugh about them.
That happens in time.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Yea, So the time does change things. So yes, you're
you're the person that wrote this message. Like I want
them to have hope from this conversation, and there really
is hope. The same does make it different. It doesn't
take your breath away when you feel it when you
think about your loved one after some time, as emotional
(25:44):
when you see a picture of them after some time.
But it does take time. But there it's only two months,
quite at the end of this tunnel. But like, just
give him grace and just be.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, just you know what.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I also I don't know if you guys agree, but
I would also say be a good listener, because he's
going to want to talk about or at least I did,
some of the good times. Sometimes reliving those times with
your loved one that's gone, I don't know, makes them
feel closer. And my kids and I would get together
(26:18):
and they would tell funny stories about their dad, and
you know, it makes me cry just thinking about them,
because those those are the memories that you keep in
your heart and you always have with you. So it
will get easier for your dad. It's just going to
take time. It's just going to take some time. It's
just going to take time.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And just be there for him. If he wants to cry,
and let him cry, you know. And if he wants
to celebrate life, then do that as well, but just
give him time. Like they said, But thank you for Well, we.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Can't end on these sad notes.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
You have What do you looking forward to?
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
What do you guys have going for this year? The
thing that's going to happen for you too?
Speaker 6 (27:01):
Well, we're both doing we're doing some independent trips. And
there's there's an old saying that you should do a
big trip together, the big trip with the family, and
then independent trips.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Joan, you want to tell everybody what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
So I am going on a cruise at ten days
cruise medi Training Cruise Europe with Nancy from the Goldens.
Yesday talk was unavailable. He already had made a vacation
plan with his son. So I had this opportunity. I said,
bring somebody. So I thought, boy, I'd love to be
able to spend like, do this trip with Nancy. So
(27:36):
we're doing this together.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Don't you wish it was all the same one, both
of us. Yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I I saw the cruise line that you guys are going.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
The other day for I was, oh, I.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Know, I would have been fine the four of us
on a ship. That would be what about what about
you chalk? What do you do?
Speaker 6 (27:55):
So my son and I when he graduated, Uh, I
promise to see hm a trip anywhere you want to go.
So we're going to go do Africa. So we're doing
that almost the exact same mirror in the time that
Jon's going to be gone. So we're going to be
going and then he uh, when we're done with that,
he's going to take another ten days and go to
Asia with my brother.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
Oh wow, your son and my daughter. They've got great lives.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
So they they both love they're both lovely people too.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, they're so Wait and then the big trip together.
You guys are going to Ocean City.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Joan was said, that's the family trip that's coming up
and we together, we just got we just have one
or two people showing up.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Is that the big trip though that you guys have
this year? Do you have another trip?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
We just kind of played by year. That's our that's
really not our bag trip.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I mean, we've had a family trip that's.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
A family trip. So we did Caribbean kind of trips.
We did in Mexico and we did a Punchakana Dominican
Republic already this year. So but we don't have like
we might be to your up.
Speaker 6 (29:00):
Well, honey, we do. We do have a big trip. Yeah,
we potentially have Europe. But we have a very very
big trip coming up.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
You remember this, Oh we're going to Disney World. You know,
we got to always give us a couple of trip
and they, you know, I thought maybe they would send
us back to like Tahiti and bor like Cuomo.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
How about like Cuomo, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Wait, let's think about this Lake Cuomo or breakfast when
Mickey mask you.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
We're taking all of our like all of my kids,
my grandkids, his kids, all to Disney World.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Oh, that's gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Wait wait are they closing the park for you guys?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah? Oh, fun and something that they'll remember.
Speaker 6 (29:45):
It's a great trip. We're going to be on for
five days and it's going to be perfect.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Yes, honestly, I am so grateful that we got that
trip because I love to be able to I always
wanted to do like Disney World. It's like one of
those things I've had planned in my mind that you
take your kids to Disney World. It's just something you do.
And so you know, we get to do this together
with you know what.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
It may not be the glamorous, uh you know, romantic
trip to Italy or the South of France, but your
family will never forget it. And you know, Bachelor is
all about love and and and that Golden Bachelor is
all about family and love. So you know what, it's
gonna be a great trip and Disney it's gonna be great.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
It's gonna be it wasn't that kiss for me? Wasn't
that the first thing? Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
It was.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
It was I remember the little princess.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Good guys to Disneyland.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
But are you going to disney World or disney World
the World?
Speaker 4 (30:39):
Yeah, and it's closer for this' so much.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
Okay, I wish I could. Could I join? That would
just make it thirty six.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
No, thank you. I've taken my children multiple times. Oh
that when they were going, and now it's time to
take my grand is.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
Wait.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
I just have to admit.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
I have to admit when my kids loved his world,
we did the thing you know that they show where
you at Christmas surprise the kids with the tickets and.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
My kids went bananas.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
And we did that once as a family. And then
when I had my daughter and she got old enough,
my husband wanted to take them back and I looked
a him. I said, you know what, mommy needs a vacation.
And he took all three kids by himself. What Yeah,
he I told you I was married to a great
guy and he had a blast.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
He had a blast. He loved it. I was like,
so did I.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I you know, had a bottle of wine and uh
and a massage hilarious.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
I can't imagine a father there with three kids and
being able to handle that.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yep, he was great. You so much for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
We all have to get together again. We all need
to get together in some city. The guys Joan from
your season and some of us can get together and
have dinner. That would be so fun fun, wouldn't it.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Definitely?
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Yeah, we need to plan that. That sounds like a
really hard thing to plan, but maybe we could just
set it up and just see if you want to come.
Speaker 5 (32:07):
Come.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Well, actually, we're still to planned Girls Week next year.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
I know someone actually who used to do event planning
until she became a star of a TV show.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
That would be you Jones. So I just volunteered.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
You get planning and then I'll let you ladies know too,
because we're we're in the midst of putting together a Golden.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Bachelor at a guide trip to work.
Speaker 6 (32:36):
We're going to crash and we got to think nineteen
to twenty guys that have committed to do it. We
can't give you any details because we're still working on that.
We'll know more on Wednesday. Also on our dates that
is right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You're invited Jones bringing us the star girls. All right, well, listen,
we love getting to chat with you guys. Thanks for
joining us. Be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour. We
have new episodes coming out. If you like this one
with Joan and Chalk, We're going to do it again sometimes.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Make sure you keep submitting your questions to us, because
without you, there wouldn't be us. And I'm so happy
that you join us every week and you remember what
to do. Go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour,
or you can dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
Thank you, ladies.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Until next time, have a great week.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
See you say we love you.
Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks
so much for joining us again. Kathy and I are
always excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
We are so excited today our latest episode. You have
to check it out. We have been having so much
fun answering all your questions, chatting with Bachelor Nation favorites.
We're just having a blast.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
How are you doing, Susan?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I'm doing great? How about you? Actually, it's like chili here.
I can't even believe it.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
It's June, you know what.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
This is why you don't chilly in the mid Atlantic
or the Northeast, because summer doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
It just happens a day or two and that's it.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I'm really excited about today's guest though. Finally, right, finally,
we have two very special guests. One is with us
right now and we're waiting on the other one to
join us shortly. And it is let's welcome our Golden couple,
our dear friend Joan and Chuck will be here shortly.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Are you, Joan?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Can't believe we finally do this, this what like ten months?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I think I'm telling you. We have so much we
want to talk about with you.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
But first of all, let's well, we're going to ask,
even though Chalk's not here, how you two doing tell
us the scoop because Chalk can't hear.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Us, He'll never hear what I'm saying. We are great.
We were just in New York City together on next week,
we're going to the beach for two weeks together with
my entire family, and then his kids are joining us
about halfway through the vacation. Things are great. It's just
kind of everything beach.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Do you go to?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
What's out?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
What beach do you go to? Where are you taking them?
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Ocean Citney, Maryland. Yeah, it's only.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah, So wait, are you guys still talking about moving
to New York or not or not moving?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
But have you a place?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
But yeah, In fact, we got re energized when we
were there. We were there last week with my mom
and my aunt who are in ninety three and eighty three.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Saw that Oh my god, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
We had a great time. But we both got like
really re energized. We kind of stopped looking a little
bit just because life got really busy and we didn't
really want to get a place up there that we
weren't going to spend much time in because you know,
obviously it's expensive and it's a bit of a trip
for him. It's easy for me, I can take a
train up there, but he has hop on a plane
to get there. And so we really wanted to make
sure we would like had the time to really spend
(02:28):
and you know, be there, and that seemed to not
really be happening. Like we came off the show, and
we thought we would have all this time like we
would come with the show, we would just go to
do we wouldn't anything else to do. And we were
so lucky. We got so many other opportunities. We've been
a lot of things with you guys obviously, so we
got really lucky. And but it did, first of all,
(02:49):
make it hard for us to even look for a
place because if you're not in New York City, when
you're looking for a place in New York City, you
miss out on them. They're available for a day or
two and then they're gone. And we just never were
able to invest like a chunk of time just to
go up and hang out and be there if things
became available. So we think after like the summer, things
(03:10):
will get easier and we'll when we'll have that time.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
So yeah, but their hearts still there. You still want
to get a place.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
In fact, even more after we now spend more time there,
we get more and more comfortable.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
You know.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
It's a little bit of an intimidating city, and now
both of us feel pretty comfortable there and we're less
focused on one particular area which we were in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Open, yeah, and we're liking.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Other places a little more. We feel more comfortable in
other places, so it's going to be easier and we're
going to have more time, like in September ish.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, so wait, no, no, no, wait, it's September because
you are coming to visit me.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Finally.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
We've got that on the schedule too. Joe and Nancy
and Susan, we're all gonna we're going to descend on
Austin and we're going to I'm gonna, I'm Susan.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's going to clock I.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Once, but I'm serious. It's so excited you guys are coming.
It's gonna be so fun.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
I so appreciate the invitation. I've never been to Austin.
Plus I would go to like Albert Quirkie year, I
would go to some Iowa or whatever with you guys,
just to be with you all because we have fun
wherever we go. But I excited about going.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
You're gonna love. Have you been to Texas anyway?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
My son played in a football game there, so I went.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
To because I lived in Dallas, right outside of Dallas
in Arlington for nine years. I know Texas. Never went
to Austin. When I went to Kathy's house, I was like,
this is Texas, Joan. It's like here, windy roads, trees,
a lake, like really it.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Well because I live in the hills.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Yeah, but he talks about Austin like it's a really
young community now and it's beautiful. It's like the place
to be.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
It is.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
And I have a good friend who has a fancy
boat that's gonna take us all out on the lake.
I'm going to show you millionaires row out of the
like we're gonna have a blast.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Gen will be looking for a place at Austin now.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
I'm going to be looking for men for Kathy and Nancy.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yes, that's right, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Excuse me, you're making an assumption here, John, I am.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Do you have somebody you can't tell us?
Speaker 5 (05:18):
Joan.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
It's so weird because you look and you see all
the girls, you know, like from the show. You're like,
oh my god, oh my god, I saw April Tasha.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Like such a like a like a full circle kind
of you know, that got to now be part of
like another bachelor franchise.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I'm seeing your men from your show, like just looking
at it was really cool and might be like everybody there, Yeah,
there are.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Some I'm just gonna say there might have been some
fun going on with some of those guys from your show.
My lips are sailed. I'm zipping it. I'm speaking of
speaking of relationships. You know, I'm going to ask you John,
any wedding updates on you guys.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Getting married this summer, so like I'm focusing on that,
and honestly, like you know, I just don't feel like
planning a wedding right now. We are in a good place.
We don't need to have like a wedding certificate to
say that we are in.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
A good place right right.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
And you know, there's also like a little part of
my brain that says, if we get married, then we
have to make more of an effort to live in
the same place, and we're not ready to do that yet.
He has a business that is like his attention and
or he can sell it, and like the end goal
is to sell it. But right now it needs his attention.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So you have time. You have plenty of time.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I don't have the biological clock. I'm not having any babies.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yes, right, exactly. This is the best part.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Wedding. I mean, one day I'll have a wedding.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
If when you do, you want it to be big
or an intimate small?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Yeah, I think intimate small. I've done a big wedding.
I've done my kid's big weddings. Like I have big
weddings in my life right now that like I could have,
you know, I could elope at this point, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Going to say at our age, I honestly, I'm not
even sure that wedding.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
Is a is a thing.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You don't even have to know.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I really don't have to you know.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
What can I tell you? Joan?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I want to tell you, and you need to be honest.
Now it's truth. No one's listening but us. Let's be honest.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
That's not true.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Let's be honest. Why you don't have time to plan
a wedding? Do you want me to tell you why?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Because she's planning her son's too.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
No, that's not it.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Joan knows because Joan spends every spare minute cooking recipes
and putting them on Instagram and TikTok, And I can
I just tell you if I cooked Joan, it was
just a big stretch. But if I did your recipes, like,
I want to bookmark them and save them because they
are they're easy, Like, they're not hard to make and
(07:58):
they look delicious.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Would you do hard stuff? I would. If I had
to cook hard stuff, I just wouldn't cook either.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
So right, So, so you like the compliment right about
all the cooking you do.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Thank you very much for sgrecting.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
When you come in October, bring those.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Or you just have to give her a list of
the ingredients that we'll need.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Joe, when I talked, I'm gonna I am going to
do I just haven't had a chance yet. I am
going to be doing a spoof, something everyone can.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Look forward to.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
I'm going to be so funny.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, I'm going to do a spoof. We have an
all planned.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just haven't had the time to do it yet
because I've been taking care of grandchildren and sick friends.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And you and I'll get together and talk and decide
what it is we're making.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I know because you know what. I just I've been
watching the I've been watching Got to Get Out. Finally,
i've been watching you so funny. But I saw you
cooking chicken pecatta. I'm like, oh, I chicken pecana right now?
Can we make that? At least? Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
No? Susan said she'll cook one meal when you guys
are here, and I said, just send me the grocery
list because I can accept.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Like, what is that broccol you were just talking about, Susan?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Broccoli rob Do you know what that is?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Joan?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I do, And I don't love broccoli robb.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Unless it's made perfectly. Yes, but I've never heard of it.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
She just said she had broccoli robbed. I thought you
robbed what? I've never heard of it?
Speaker 4 (09:16):
But you know how she's a criminal.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
She had a veil and broccoli robbed for lunch, and
I had peanut butter crackers.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
That's about right. So all right, so tell us we
want to know what. Tell us how you're different.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Seriously, you your experience is so different than than what
we've experienced. Right obvious on the show. You are the lead,
you know all of it. How are you different?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Tell us what's it like navigating after the show?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, how it's got to be different. Your life has
to be different and getting from A to B.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Yeah, So I think like the big of it, Well,
first of all, I was only on the other show
for three episod so I didn't get as rich of
an experience as you guys really did because you were
there both lasted pretty long, so like I almost started
a little on the Like it was a little newer
to me to be in that environment for a long time,
you know, And I mean one thing that we probably
(10:17):
all know as you are there. The longer you're there,
the more comfortable you get and the more animated you get,
and the more your personality comes out. And I think
that like that was probably the biggest change for me,
Like I've kind of got to be myself. After a
little while, I got like became very comfortable like with
all the cameras and with all the people and navigating it.
But I have to tell you, it's a whole lot
(10:38):
more work the hours you work. I remember thinking Gary
gets to go home at night and like hang out
in his hotel room and doesn't have cameras around him
when we're on. True you are working. You are working
the entire time. You're doing b roll all the time,
you're doing these things called pickups. We think I used
to think he was at his hotel in that interview
(10:59):
room all time. While everybody is doing their stuff in
the house. You're in that little interview room and nobody
knows you're there, so you are. It's work, it's more
and it's also emotionally more draining because you don't have
anybody to talk to. You don't have your family to
talk to, which obviously, when you're a contestant, you also
don't have your family to talk to you, but you
(11:19):
have each other, and you have other people around you,
maybe some camera person that you've become you know, friendly with,
or you have other producers. I had only my producer
and my handler, and there's.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yeah, I would Carrie, Yeah, and Gina.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
So listen Carrie and Gina, who for those of you
who don't know, Carrie is the stylist for and he
is a miracle man.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
He's fabulous and yes, yeah's.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
But even more than like great, how great he does
his job. He was like my psychiatrist. And that's what
I yes, because you know, he's like one of the
few people. So you know, we know we have producers
and producers they're making a show and we don't have
to acknowledge it. You know, this is it's like a
kind of a parallel thing. They're making a show while
you're trying to find love and you hope it all
ends up at the same time, right, But you do
(12:15):
have to know that the producers are producing you a
little bit. You know, they're not doing it in a
They're doing it in a way that they are trying
to make a good show as well as you, and
they do it very well, and they did it perfectly
for me. I can't complain about anything my season. I
felt like they had my best interest in mind. But
like a unbiased person listen to how you're feeling. That
(12:39):
isn't trying to produce you.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
It was not like calling us on the phone and saying, guys,
I'm feeling this, this and this. What do you think?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
So yeah, but here's the thing, Joan.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You you were working full time prior to going to
being the Golden Bacherette, and then you did that and
now your life that's kind of what I was hat
is how different I mean, not only you engaged and
you know, found your guy, but your life and how
do you navigate that. I know you're planning your son's
(13:09):
wedding and you have children.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Like yeah, So so I came off the show and
I left Tahiti on a Friday, and I went to
work Monday morning, like I was ready to just go
back into my regular life. Yeah, I found out how
much press I needed to do. Normally you do about
two weeks of press. You do a week in New
York and a week in La. I had like five
weeks of press. So I went and told my boss,
(13:32):
like what my press schedule was going to be, and
he said, you can't work here anymore. He's like, you
have to be gone too much. We need somebody here
working and you're like doing your job, especially since I
worked at a school and it was fall was hitting
and it was September, and he's like, you know, like
I need you here. And so I lost my job.
So I kind of had to replace like all of
(13:53):
those hours that I spent doing a job because I
like to work. I don't want to be I'm not
like a person that's going to go play pick a
ball for eight hour or.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Do you still want to work.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
I like, what still is working?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
No, no, I'm saying, but not you're not doing the full
time you know, nine to five job. No.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
I think I'd like to do something different now, Like
we're sitting at a desk at a school, you know,
talking to alumni or whatever, or planning events. Was fun
at the time, but I feel like I've gotten a
taste of a different world now. Yeah, I am intrigued
by and you know, I would love it if something
unfolded in you know, this bachelor arena or maybe as
(14:33):
a podcast or something different, But you know.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I would you want to do it with chalk or
by yourself.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
I would do it with chalk, certainly. But I do
like us to have kind of our separate things still
also to be honest, like, you know, one day we're
going to be spending twenty four day, seven days away
together and I still like having like my things, and
I like him having his things.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
And you missed some when he's not there. Isn't that
a good thing you you get excited about.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
I mean both of you have, and you don't.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You're not with your guys twenty four to seven, right,
And I mean, how do you feel about that.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I know Susan likes it. How do you feel, John, I.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Feel the same way as Susan. I don't think I
need to be with somebody twenty four hours. So let's
like say, when we're younger, you're raising kids.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
You're starting out, it's a whole different world.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
You want to have dinner with your family together, So
everybody needs to be together, right, a very different life.
You know that we're leading now, and it's surprisingly nice.
Like when I want to go and spend an evening
with my grandkids, or with my kids, or with some friends,
I don't feel guilty leaving my own home and going
with my kids or doing whatever, doing the things that
(15:45):
are making me happy. I don't feel like leaving them
home alone like I used to fill with my husband.
So this is nice, the freedom. We kind of get
the best of both worlds. You see each other, you're
really excited when you see each other, miss them, and
then when you go home, you have a freedom to
do what you want to do without guilt.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I agree.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
So we're so glad Chock you're able to join us.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Let's move into our advice portion of the episode. We're
gonna kick things off of the question of the day,
and we'd love your thoughts, So go ahead, says give
us this question of the day.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Okay, what is something that you loved about being in
your golden error? What's something you think young people can
look forward to when it comes to aging.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Not letting the little stuff bother you.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
Amen, You've had experience, you know, it's just so much
of its little stuff. You just gotta go with the
flow and just keep smiling.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
What about you, Joan? I love that, Jock. What about you, Johan?
Speaker 4 (16:49):
I think feeling comfortable in your own skin, And that
took me a really long time. It took me so
probably I was in my golden years, probably till I
was sixty to really feel just comfortable with who I am,
and you know where my life.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Is being okay with you?
Speaker 6 (17:05):
Right?
Speaker 3 (17:06):
I think?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Do you think young people don't feel that way? Is
that something they can look forward to?
Speaker 4 (17:11):
I think so. I think it's hard. Like I think.
I think when you're younger, you you accept all the
judgment from people, and when you get older, you stopped
accepting what they think about you. You just have to
be good with yourself. So it was hard for me.
I don't know. Maybe you guys had more self confidence, or.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
It wasn't a way later in life that I felt
that way.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
You're right, Yeah, it took me a long time.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I would just add I agree with what both of
you said, But I also would say that as you
get into your golden years that you realize without sounding
you know, macabre, time is of the essence, like we
don't have You can't say I'll do that twenty years
from now. You know, we're looking at the clock saying
now's the time, so take you know, seize the moment.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I hate that expression.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Be right, it's true, that's true. Sweat the small stuff anymore. Yeah,
you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
You have your health right now and you don't know
what's coming down the pike. You may live for a
bunch of years, but you may not be healthy enough
to do things so in the moment.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
But I just think when kids, like we both we
all have young kids, you know, in their twenties and thirties,
and our kids say things, oh, you know we'll do
it that. You know, we don't have time now, we'll
do it in the future. Where I think at our age, uh, huh,
we do it now because we don't know. There's nothing guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Right now, we have one from our fans, Okay, we
like to share some advice with them. Whatever you think
you want to say, are you willing?
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Let's do it?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay? Hi, Kathy Susan. My dad's wife passed away unexpectedly
about two months ago. They were married for thirteen years.
He is, as you can imagine, just broken. Kathy. I
know you have mentioned that you lost your husband. Do
you have any advice I can give to him to
(19:10):
help him get through this difficult time? When will it
get easier? And when did it get easier for you? Kathy?
Speaker 5 (19:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Okay, Well, first of all, I don't know who sent
this question in, But first and foremost, let me just
say I'm so sorry that your dad's wife passed away.
I'm sorry for him and I'm sorry for you. Unexpected
death is never easy, so I can imagine how broken
(19:42):
your dad is. I would say the biggest piece of
advice I could give to your dad is take time.
There's no timeline here. Grief will come and go in
his life. It'll rear its ugly head when you least
expect it. Don't listen to other people when they say,
(20:06):
you know it's been six months or two months or
a year, live day to day, get through each day.
That's enough. Let him have Tell him to have grace
for himself. Give him self grace because you it's going
to be a struggle for a while. I would like
to say it's easy, but it isn't. And so give
(20:30):
himself the gift of time and grace. And he doesn't
have to meet a timeline. When will it get easier?
It'll get easier. When it gets easier, they'll be They'll
be tough days, they'll be easier days. I remember when
my husband first died. I ask the therapist, my grief therapist,
(20:51):
will there ever be a day when I don't cry?
And she said yes, but not today. And so that's
you know, that's what I would say to your dad.
It gets easier over time. Never heals, uh, it just
you learn to live with the group grief and walk
through it and open your heart again to other opportunities.
(21:12):
I still miss him every day I think about him,
but I'm also grateful for my life and the opportunities.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
And John, I want to throw.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
It to you because it's just going to husband died,
So what what would you add to that?
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Yeah, I think the smartest thing you said there was
give yourself grace. And I think that, like asking people
for advice, is actually kind of difficult because everybody does
it differently. Anybody I've never talked to you and I
have talked about it happy and anybody I've talked to like,
I say, how did you do it? What did you
do and or how did you feel? And we all
(21:47):
feel it differently. And so I would have, you know,
really really bad days where I just couldn't get out
of bed, and I would just be everybody's leave me alone.
I just need this day to feel the feels. And
then some I'd be like, I can't do all the
fields today. It's too hard, and I put it on
a back burner. But you have to give yourself grace
(22:07):
to feel the feels or to have a good day.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
And there's no right or wrong.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
There's no right or wrong, and that it's it's not
a quick journey. It's probably a journey that you're going
to have to go through your entire life. Have I
still have bad days sometimes Father's Day I went and
visited my late husband and my dad who died in
the same year like those both those grief feel differently,
but they still like take my breath away a little
bit when I feel about it, like when I think
about him. Sometimes sometimes I think about him and I
(22:35):
have total joy, like I had the greatest husband, I
had the greatest dad, and you know, the people I've
lost in my life, I feel lucky that they were
in my life. But sometimes I think, like, boy, this
really sucks not having him here. And I still have
that and it's been you know, a bunch of years.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, Kathy, you made a statement that time does not heal,
and I've always thought that time helps. I mean, more
time goes by than like Joan just said, you start
remembering the positive instead of dwelling on the sadness. And
I think that's what time would do for you. You
don't feel that way.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Oh, time.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I don't equate the passage of time with healing. I
equate time with with other with my heart, you know,
opening up new for new opportunities. But as Joan just said,
there are still days where you know, it's just really hard.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
So I don't think.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
I don't know Joan, you maybe you agree and Chalk
you also lost You lost Kathy, and so you know
what it's like too, and and what can you add
to this conversation, because it's tough.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
You have pre and post.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
The post is what we all talk about and what
we deal with, and it's as you as you have said,
it's just each individually. Like coming up on the one
year of my mother July third, I miss her every day.
But the pre I would tell you is we all
know that we're on this earth for a limited amount
of time. Enjoy the moment you have with loved ones absolutely,
(24:06):
whether they're healthy or not, they're directly in your life
or it's a phone call, Just spend that time and
enjoy it. Because when you lose somebody like that, you
look back and you go, we had some great times.
Should I have spend a little bit more time? You
never know which we deal with that individually.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah, well, and I always it's never a contest. I mean, Joan,
you lost your husband to pancreatic cancer. Kathy died of
cancer as well, Chuck.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
Yes, yeah, gille blastoma, that's.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Right, brain cancer. Yeah. And I lost my husband to suicide.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
And I don't think there's ever a situation where you
know this one's better than that one. But I have
said this to Susan many times. Susan's divorced, and the
only advantage, if that's even the correct word to a divorce,
is Susan and her ex husband can talk. They can
(24:56):
say remember the time when, or I'm really sorry this happened,
because while they're divorced, they still are in each other's lives.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
But I lost siblings and that was their way way
younger than me. And you just think about why did
they take him before me? You know those questions. But
the pain is always there. But I try to think
of all the things that made me laugh about them.
That happens in time.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Yea, So the time does change things. So yes, you're
you're the person that wrote this message. Like I want
them to have hope from this conversation, and there really
is hope. The same does make it different. It doesn't
take your breath away when you feel it when you
think about your loved one after some time, as emotional
(25:44):
when you see a picture of them after some time.
But it does take time. But there it's only two months,
quite at the end of this tunnel. But like, just
give him grace and just be.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, just you know what.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I also I don't know if you guys agree, but
I would also say be a good listener, because he's
going to want to talk about or at least I did,
some of the good times. Sometimes reliving those times with
your loved one that's gone, I don't know, makes them
feel closer. And my kids and I would get together
(26:18):
and they would tell funny stories about their dad, and
you know, it makes me cry just thinking about them,
because those those are the memories that you keep in
your heart and you always have with you. So it
will get easier for your dad. It's just going to
take time. It's just going to take some time. It's
just going to take time.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
And just be there for him. If he wants to cry,
and let him cry, you know. And if he wants
to celebrate life, then do that as well, but just
give him time. Like they said, But thank you for Well, we.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Can't end on these sad notes.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
You have What do you looking forward to?
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
What do you guys have going for this year? The
thing that's going to happen for you too?
Speaker 6 (27:01):
Well, we're both doing we're doing some independent trips. And
there's there's an old saying that you should do a
big trip together, the big trip with the family, and
then independent trips.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Joan, you want to tell everybody what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
So I am going on a cruise at ten days
cruise medi Training Cruise Europe with Nancy from the Goldens.
Yesday talk was unavailable. He already had made a vacation
plan with his son. So I had this opportunity. I said,
bring somebody. So I thought, boy, I'd love to be
able to spend like, do this trip with Nancy. So
(27:36):
we're doing this together.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Don't you wish it was all the same one, both
of us. Yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (27:43):
I I saw the cruise line that you guys are going.
Speaker 6 (27:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
The other day for I was, oh, I.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Know, I would have been fine the four of us
on a ship. That would be what about what about
you chalk? What do you do?
Speaker 6 (27:55):
So my son and I when he graduated, Uh, I
promise to see hm a trip anywhere you want to go.
So we're going to go do Africa. So we're doing
that almost the exact same mirror in the time that
Jon's going to be gone. So we're going to be
going and then he uh, when we're done with that,
he's going to take another ten days and go to
Asia with my brother.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
Oh wow, your son and my daughter. They've got great lives.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
So they they both love they're both lovely people too.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Yeah, they're so Wait and then the big trip together.
You guys are going to Ocean City.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Joan was said, that's the family trip that's coming up
and we together, we just got we just have one
or two people showing up.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Is that the big trip though that you guys have
this year? Do you have another trip?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
We just kind of played by year. That's our that's
really not our bag trip.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
I mean, we've had a family trip that's.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
A family trip. So we did Caribbean kind of trips.
We did in Mexico and we did a Punchakana Dominican
Republic already this year. So but we don't have like
we might be to your up.
Speaker 6 (29:00):
Well, honey, we do. We do have a big trip. Yeah,
we potentially have Europe. But we have a very very
big trip coming up.
Speaker 4 (29:06):
You remember this, Oh we're going to Disney World. You know,
we got to always give us a couple of trip
and they, you know, I thought maybe they would send
us back to like Tahiti and bor like Cuomo.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
How about like Cuomo, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Wait, let's think about this Lake Cuomo or breakfast when
Mickey mask you.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
We're taking all of our like all of my kids,
my grandkids, his kids, all to Disney World.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Oh, that's gonna be great.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Wait wait are they closing the park for you guys?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah? Oh, fun and something that they'll remember.
Speaker 6 (29:45):
It's a great trip. We're going to be on for
five days and it's going to be perfect.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Yes, honestly, I am so grateful that we got that
trip because I love to be able to I always
wanted to do like Disney World. It's like one of
those things I've had planned in my mind that you
take your kids to Disney World. It's just something you do.
And so you know, we get to do this together
with you know what.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
It may not be the glamorous, uh you know, romantic
trip to Italy or the South of France, but your
family will never forget it. And you know, Bachelor is
all about love and and and that Golden Bachelor is
all about family and love. So you know what, it's
gonna be a great trip and Disney it's gonna be great.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
It's gonna be it wasn't that kiss for me? Wasn't
that the first thing? Yes?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
It was.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
It was I remember the little princess.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
Good guys to Disneyland.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
But are you going to disney World or disney World
the World?
Speaker 4 (30:39):
Yeah, and it's closer for this' so much.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
Okay, I wish I could. Could I join? That would
just make it thirty six.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
No, thank you. I've taken my children multiple times. Oh
that when they were going, and now it's time to
take my grand is.
Speaker 5 (31:00):
Wait.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
I just have to admit.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
I have to admit when my kids loved his world,
we did the thing you know that they show where
you at Christmas surprise the kids with the tickets and.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
My kids went bananas.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
And we did that once as a family. And then
when I had my daughter and she got old enough,
my husband wanted to take them back and I looked
a him. I said, you know what, mommy needs a vacation.
And he took all three kids by himself. What Yeah,
he I told you I was married to a great
guy and he had a blast.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
He had a blast. He loved it. I was like,
so did I.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I you know, had a bottle of wine and uh
and a massage hilarious.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
I can't imagine a father there with three kids and
being able to handle that.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yep, he was great. You so much for joining us today.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
We all have to get together again. We all need
to get together in some city. The guys Joan from
your season and some of us can get together and
have dinner. That would be so fun fun, wouldn't it.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Definitely?
Speaker 4 (32:02):
Yeah, we need to plan that. That sounds like a
really hard thing to plan, but maybe we could just
set it up and just see if you want to come.
Speaker 5 (32:07):
Come.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Well, actually, we're still to planned Girls Week next year.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
I know someone actually who used to do event planning
until she became a star of a TV show.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
That would be you Jones. So I just volunteered.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
You get planning and then I'll let you ladies know too,
because we're we're in the midst of putting together a Golden.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Bachelor at a guide trip to work.
Speaker 6 (32:36):
We're going to crash and we got to think nineteen
to twenty guys that have committed to do it. We
can't give you any details because we're still working on that.
We'll know more on Wednesday. Also on our dates that
is right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You're invited Jones bringing us the star girls. All right, well, listen,
we love getting to chat with you guys. Thanks for
joining us. Be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour. We
have new episodes coming out. If you like this one
with Joan and Chalk, We're going to do it again sometimes.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Make sure you keep submitting your questions to us, because
without you, there wouldn't be us. And I'm so happy
that you join us every week and you remember what
to do. Go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour,
or you can dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 5 (33:26):
Thank you, ladies.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
Until next time, have a great week.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
See you say we love you.
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