March 7, 2025 • 53 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re back dishing out more advice! We kick off the episode by getting into Grant’s Hometowns and who we think could be getting engaged. Then, we dive into the question of the day: How do you deal with mean girls and gossip? And then we get into your questions, starting with an amazing update from Maggie, who wrote to us about battling the side effects of brain surgery. We’re talking engagement rings, dealing with toxic parents, and so much more. Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. We're so
excited to be back again, Katy, thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Oh my gosh, I am so excited. But can we
just talk for a minute about exhaustion. Before we are
going to answer your fan questions, we want you to
submit them. We love reading them.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
It's so easy.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's easier than getting a plane back to the States
from Saint Martin. All you have to do is go
to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.
Send us your questions, your comments or updates.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Take it away, maybe all of it. We want all
of it and the updates, especially because when you're writing
these questions, we love answering them. We love giving advice,
but we always are curious how you made out. Definitely
do that for us, and just remember you can also
dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. All right, Kathy,
(01:08):
let's start with hometowns. Oh my goodness, what did you
think of this week's hometown?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Okay, first of all, the best thing starting with Juliana
and her dad Carl, who I actually loved, but I
did you just got did you get home?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Hoick?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Go Newt and go Boston? I was the accent. When
people say to me, oh, I can tell you from Boston.
I want a clip of this episode just to play
them and say, no, no, this is a Boston accent.
Carl has a Boston accent. I just loved it, though.
I mean, you're the Italian, so you got to weigh
in on this about how Italians. But I thought they
(01:46):
were so welcoming.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
They were one two. They were we are That's how
we are. They eat, they gather, and I loved that
he accepted and he liked them. Yeah, what did you think? Though?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I had to laugh when they at the pizza store
and they bring home four pizzas. I'm like, there's a
crowd of like sixty there. I'm sure those four pizzas
went far. But you know it's funny because I wish
they had shown just me being me. I wish they
had shown more of Newton, more of Boston. I just
wish they had, you know, had a nice date other
than just going to a local pizza place and try
(02:20):
to spin pizzas.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
But you know, I think she's very happy. She's giddy, like, yeah,
she doesn't want to get hurt. I mean, when I
said it was the first time in seven years she's
brought a guy home, I know, And I watched it thinking, oh,
are you going to get hurt? I don't know, So
we move it on each date. I kept looking for
(02:43):
that moment that tells us right, yeah, the modeling with
Zoe and all that was cool and she is a beautiful,
beautiful girl and not feeling that one.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Well, we'll get to her, but but I just want
to know. On of course, I told you Juliana is
my hometown girl. I still think it's going to be Latia.
But I loved the way they really welcomed him, and
I think that meant a lot to him, because this
is a guy that seems to really care about family
and what he Yeah, and did you hear him say
(03:18):
Juliana I think said to her dad, you know he's
my guy. We were aligned and they feel safe with
each other. I mean, those things really matter, and and
you know the previews, he says, he's really struggling. I'm
going out on a limb here. I think he's going
to be struggling between Juliana and Litia. All right, let's
move on to to Zoe. Wait one more? Thanks? Did
(03:42):
you wait? But did you hear him tell her I
started this. He said to Juliana, I'm falling for you.
It could be a fit. And Juliana said she'd let
down her walls. So and when he kissed her goodbye,
it was not a.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Wasn't a pack, No, it was good kids. Yeah, it's
not the one I wanted. I like her.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, all right, so let's go to Zoe who it's
definitely not the one. But I don't think it's Zoe.
I would be surprised. I think she's lovely, she's got
a great life. She's very strong, and he likes that
about her. I think Zoe's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I think doing a wedding photo shoot, I do not
think that was a good idea. I mean, just for
does anyone think that was the good idea to do
a wedding photo shoot? Wait?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Do you remember when they tied the knot? Who was
that that tied the knot?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Latia?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Latia? Yeah that was so. I remember when Joan and Escale?
Yeah I remember that.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Well, wait a minute, do you when they did, like,
they didn't just do a wedding shoot, they did a proposal.
They did she came out in a wedding draw.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I have how she was posing. She's a fabulous She's
a beautiful model.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That's what I'm saying. I think everything you're saying is right.
She's a beautiful model. However, Grant did say you could
see he felt it was a little bit weird to
be doing a photo shoot with an engagement ranging the
whole nine yards. I mean, just practice Grant really and
I think it was foreshadowing. I think you know he's scared.
It was like, what the hell, why are we doing this?
(05:27):
He said that he was so proud of her for
doing being modeling. I didn't see him talking about them
at all. It was, Oh, she's a great model. You know,
she's beautiful, she's so good at her craft. Kind of
thing that was. It was almost like it was there
was I didn't feel anything other than damn, I look,
I wish, but don't you look like she does in
(05:48):
a wedding gown?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
God? I mean, you are beautiful. If you're listening to this.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, so you are absolutely gorgeous. Love it, but I
don't see it happening. Okay, my most.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Favorite dat or do you want to go to Dina?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Uh, let's go to Let's.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Wear for Dina? Her parents didn't come. They refused to come. Okay,
I don't remember that her dad was a religious man.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I didn't catch I don't think that's what it is necessarily,
I think. But can I just say to you, I
think that's what we call a red herring. Again, I
don't know why I go out on limbso I'm talking
to you about this stuff. I just tell you what
I really think, because I figured nobody else is listening.
Just I'm just telling Susan here. But I think that, uh,
that is that was just a red herring. I don't
(06:37):
think her parents been there had anything to do with it.
I think for her to send her home, well, it
may have put a thorn in it. But I'm saying
I didn't see the connection. I saw her and him
as companions. As you know, he trusted in her, he
believed she was saved sage advice. Yeah, he was impressed
(07:00):
of all that. And you know she was the one
that talked about Carolina and he listened to what she said.
But again, no no connection. But I don't think.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
He said like them both.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But but I don't think he sent her home because
her parents weren't there.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I think I don't think that's the main reason. But
that was a sour start. But I was feeling I
felt so bad for her.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Oh I did too.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
That's embarrassing. It's it's like, but you have to respect
your parents' wishes.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, I don't whether she respects the wishes or not.
She was there with you know, her friends.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I wonder if she went home and said, thanks a
lot because of you.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
She probably went home and said, you know what, he
sent me home.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
He married.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
That's right, because you didn't and they said, and they
probably said to her, no, we knew it was going south.
That's why we didn't show up. I mean, that is
a no. That's a no win for anybody. But I
let's talk about Latilla going to Wyoming. Can I just
say the big the big thing in that room.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I put it on my bucket list, cath I gotta
go there. Oh it was so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
We're gonna go and ride horses. I'm gonna go skiing.
You can ride horses, you and faith faith. If you're listening,
Susan's coming to ride horses with the no never happening.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I mean, and I love the people the Mormons deal.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It's not an issue no.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I love that. Oh my god, here it comes, here
it comes. And they all were open. He is a
man of faith, That's all that mattered.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
He did say to her and about Juliana, and again
I'm paraphrasing here. He said about Letia, she would make
a great wife and mother, and that has been his parade,
you know, lyric about family.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And I think that's why her family loved that part.
She is so pure, that smile of hers, and she's
so falling for him.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, I see the music. I don't know who does
the music, whoever, who's ever the music? Good job, a
great job, really a good job. You can use that
term for so many things. That's an inside joke. They
both seem so genuinely happy. And I love that Grant
(09:14):
opened up about his own mother's strict religious beliefs. He
seems comfortable with her. I think he seems, Oh I've
been Oh no, you're now you're doing turncoat again on me.
You kept saying Juliana and you'll get gold.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I like, I don't know who he picks, but after
this and she will not sleep with him on the overnights?
Did you hear say that? Uh?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I don't have she will or won't. I mean, I've heard.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
That her faith. And she also said that would be
difficult if he sleeps with other women.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Well, he's a man and she's got some pretty women,
and you know, get over at Ladia, it's happening. Forgive him,
start playing father, Forgive him for he know not what
he did.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
He knew not what he did.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Okay. So the other thing I wondered though, is how
Grant's family would fit into the Mormon faith. I have
friends who are who are Mormon. Literally, I mean they
they it's people. They're good people, but I think the
most I think they'll I think they.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Such a doll baby, I didn't look like any of them.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Well, wait, did you hear him tell Lettia's mother that
he's falling in love? He said that he hasn't said
that to any That's why saying these little things.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Well, the way he looks at her and she looks
at him, she feels him.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Okay, I can't believe said hopeful, hopeful. Okay, So y'all
need to hear. Susan and I were the other night
and Susan was saying, we were talking about, you know,
those things in life in general, and soon said, oh,
you know me, Kathy, I'm just a hopeless romantic. And
I said, no, Susan, you are a hopeful romantic. So
(11:10):
we're now coining that Susan is not a hopeless romantic.
She is a romantic.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I'm just here.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
That's it's coming this year for both of us. And
so it was the taxman on April fifteenth. Okay, wait,
I can't believe you didn't bring up Wait, I cannot.
I was. I was waiting for you to do it
because you know, I thought this was in your wheelhouse,
but you didn't. So I'm taking it over Letilla's grandfather.
Oh god, I.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Kid Susan, what happened?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I was like, I was up about his wife and
how much they I thought, is this this is family
who knows what love is? They wouldn't want to be
a part of that? Who would not want to be
part of that? I was just like you said, that
whole hometown was perfect. Do you wait?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I didn't care for Kathy. Can we be honest, dear.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Tell me the horses no, no.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
No, no no. Every time he goes to leave them
and they know he's going to the next woman. Yeah,
it's not a warm and fuzzy goodbye. He's quick, little
kiss and off he goes next.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Well, mishopeful, romantic. He didn't have time to do a
friend a stare, dip and bow and makeout session. You know,
the car's waiting times running, money's time. Spend a minute
with them before you leave? Wait? Can I also wait
the one? I got to get back to Grandpop's here
for a minute because I was crying. I've hung around
you too long, as Susan, I permitted, some.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
It is sentimental.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I am becoming. I am well. No, I've always been sentiment.
I just don't show it as easily easy to do,
he said, were you can work out anything with love,
and that kind of love that they had never goes away.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yes, no, I just.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I just made me cry. You could see how much
he missed his wife, and so you know she The
other thing I want to say about Letia, she says.
The depth of what she says to him. She said
she wants to give him everything. Fam I'm getting goosebumps again.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I'm family. I want to marry them, plug it away.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh Jesus, Okay, Grant and Litia, should you be the
lucky too? I want to be the mc at your wedding,
and Susan wants to be the officia make it happen. Wait,
the last thing though, that she said they both told
each other. Did you hear that they're falling in love
with each other? Yes, So let me just say Grant
it's got in mind that.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
A lot for her.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, but Grant's kind of a big problem if he
doesn't choose her. I mean, he's got a big problem anyway,
because he's told he's told uh Juliana that he's fall
in love with her too, And in the previews he's
telling Jesse that he's in love with two women. That's
what I think. I mean, these other two or just
wallpaper right now, they're on well, I mean they're lovely women,
(14:04):
and Zoe's beautiful and so is so is Dina. But
you know they're just.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So Zoey's They're all going to go in the Wait
then I'll buy you.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I'll buy you a new capsule wardrobe. If he doesn't
send Zoe home if she's not next.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I agree, I agree, that's how I feel. Any I
would be quite surprised.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I just I think he's I think he's a great guy.
But you know, we have to remember I sit here
watching the show, and I have to remember that these
are young adults. They haven't had enough life experiences yet,
so I could see they're in love with two.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I mean, I couldn't have Has Latia ever been in love?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I didn't ask her when I called it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
It was quite some time before since she brought anybody
around the family. I remember hearing that, but Juliana said,
I know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Juliana was like she had brought somebody home in seven years.
I don't remember the saying that. But again, you know,
this is one of these things where I go back
to to Leslie and Theresa on our show, like, remember
you and I talked about this. We were glad that
we didn't make it to the end because who wanted.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
To be kind a heartbreaking place to be.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
What a horrible heartbreak, you know, because you.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Open yourself, you've become vulnerable. Yeah, and then you believe him.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Well, I would believe if a guy tells me, If
if a man tells me he's in love with me,
why would you not believe that?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Right?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Unless he's got his phone list out and there's ten
other women that he's dial called the bachelor? Why because
he remains the bachelor. That's why it should be you know,
first first time wedding or something. I don't know, but
I think it's I think it's a great show. I
(15:58):
frankly am ready for Zoe to go home, not because
I don't like her.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I think she's lovely, Zoe. I think you're lovelyhead version.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I think you are an incredible model, and I would
focus on that some man will sweep you off your
feet and you will be wearing that white wedding gown
for the man of your dreams. But I just don't
see it for one minute being grand. So I can't wait.
So next week it's.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Going to break my heart between the two. In my
world Zoe left. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Oh, in my world, it was always boiled down to
those two.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
This be good.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay, Susan, it's time to get into the episode.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
We're going to start with my favorite day.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
All right, what advice Susan, would you give young women
who are dealing with gossip, rumors and all things? Mean girls? Oh?
How much can we talk about this? Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
My god? I could start with just raising my kids,
my daughter, what she went through and to be honest, Kathy,
you and I on the internet, people are mean. If
everybody was kind, it would be a well.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Not everybody's mean. And I will say to you, let
me tell you how I deal with it, and the
advice I would give to young women I've had. And
You're right, Susan, We've both had a lot of people
write just mean ass comments to us. Usually ignore them
because you know what, if you ignore them, they go away.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
But very occasionally I will address it.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
And somebody wrote something so mean the other day about
you and me and our friendship, and I wrote back
to them, Susan and I have such a great relationship,
we are such good friends. I hope someday you find
a friendship like Susan's in mine. And in the meantime,
I have a great day. It was same person that
(18:03):
said that I need a news job.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I was like, oh, that's a first.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, I'm just saying people can be mean. My advice though,
first of all young women.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Takes harder for young women, but I wouldn't We're seasoned.
If you will, okay, it.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Shouldn't be hurt. Feelings are hurt feelings about young people.
My advice to them is ignore it first and foremost
ignore it because people are either jealous, they're angry about
something else. It's typically about them, not about you. It's
the point.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
When someone's spreading a rumor. I think that would be
harder than just hearing mean things. When someone spreads a rumor,
you're going to think people are believing this thing, you
know whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And you know what, Susan, You're right, some people are
going to believe it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
But guess what.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
We can only control our own reactions to things. We
can't make people think a certain way. We can't make
people behave.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
A certain way.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
All we can do is control our own behavior and
do the best we can to control our own thoughts.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
I got to give you a story. Okay, I was
thirteen years old. I don't know if I ever shared
this with you. I was never allowed to go to
the splash party they were called at the pool because
there was a live music and it was for teenagers.
So I turned thirteen and I wanted to go. Mind you,
I developed in the chest area very late. I used
(19:30):
to pray to God, I want.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Wait a minute, wait a second, I don't believe that. Yeah,
it was this happened to you overnight.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Overnight, Kathy, and I did, I must, I must, I
must improve my bust. You know all those exercises we
used to cry to my dad.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
We must develop our bost the bigger, the betters. We must,
we must, we must.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
So anyhow, I'm finally allowed to go to this thing.
I am so excited. And the development was starting. I
mean it came overnight. Like I said, I went into
the bathroom at the splash party and it said, Susan
Vocolo stuffs. I was wordified. What well you do? MENO
(20:13):
me right? Please tell me you did not pull down
your baby. I don't think before I do things. A
lot of times I came out I'm burst open the
top of my baby to cry my eyes out, to
show everybody I was not stuffing, and then called my
mother crying hysterical and come get me. Now.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Let me just say to the young women out there,
don't Susan. Let me just say give you one word
of advice here, don't.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Hey, it worked, it worked, it, but he believed I
stuffed anymore because there they were.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
And that was your golden life, to make sure that
people did not know.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Can you imagine walking in and reading something about yourself
and it was. It was mortifying, and it's.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
No worse than for a good time, going in to
a bathroom stall for a good time, call Kathy when
my phone number. No.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Seriously, though, it does hurt, and it does thing, and
women are girls. Don't let it get the best of you.
Be the better person. You're off your bathing suit. Yeah
you can if you want. If they're talking about stuff,
and go for it. Can we please gut?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
We're going to the fan questions right now.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
We're just leaving that. We're going.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Okay, I'm going to start us off with the first one.
It starts, Oh guess what, Susan. We have update.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
We just said that today. We love the update.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
We love the updates. Okay, this is one from Maggie.
She wrote in I don't know if you all remember,
but we certainly do. She wrote in asking for ways
she cont can connect with her boyfriend outside of food
and cooking while she struggled with brain surgery. If you
want to go back and listen to it from our episode,
it's the one called We're All in the Same Boat. Okay,
(21:57):
here it is, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I have an
update I wanted to share with you. After a question
I submitted back in the summer. It was about my
inability to eat after brain surgery and the strain this
had on my relationship with my boyfriend. Your advoice, your
advice really helped. I listened to it several times because
(22:19):
your kindness and sympathy brought me so much comfort. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Okay, so we took your advice and found other activities
to enjoy together over the summer and fall besides our
usual eating, cooking, and dining out together. But I've since
improved and can finally start to eat some foods again.
I wanted to share this progress and good news with
two of my favorite ladies who really helped in my
(22:47):
time of need. I have goosebump. Susan makes me.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I'm so happy for it.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yay, Maggie, We're so happy for you.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Wow. Goodness, So it did it? Did work? Help? She
did try? She was in an ugly place right, Yeah,
I just I love it. Now they're doing it now.
I just want to say that you, you and I've
talked about this. Food is not a big thing for me,
and so when we talked about like what she could
(23:15):
do besides eating and dining out, we were coming up
with ideas. There are lots of ways to make connections,
and I'm just so glad that they found other ways
besides the usual, you know, cooking dinosas not telling me
what they are though I want to know what they did.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I'm guessing they went to the beach and she pulled
off for bathing suit tops.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
So stop it. But just just the simple fact that
she's feeling better is the main thing, exactly it really.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
So, Maggie. We are so thrilled that you have improved health,
that your relationship is going well, that this is great news.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
That is the best one. Importantly, that you're doing good
and you want to keep on going with him because
you are going to make it. It just took time,
and it was a scary time. We prayed for you,
we thought about you, and we're so thrilled that you
came back to us and let us know.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
That means, Maggie, let us know if you have time,
let us know what activities you did. We'd love to know.
Write us in another update. We would love to hear
from him. Absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Okay, now let's get into Maggie's question. Maggie asks my
boyfriend and I have been together twelve years. I'm thirty
one and he's thirty three. I know time to get engaged.
Due to my unexpected brain surgery and all the post
of complications, I've been unable to work for a year
(24:40):
and he's had to cover us financially. He wants to
get engaged too, but keeps putting it off for the
financial reasons. He's holding off because he's determined to get
me a fancy, expensive ring. It's hard because of everyone's
expectations and comparisons when it comes to engage rings. Where's
(25:02):
where's Neil Lame when you need him? We could call
him for you? Actually, any advice on how to move
forward with our relationship despite these financial barriers.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Okay, I'm hearing two things here. Yeah, one I'm hearing
their financial issues and the other one I'm hearing, Uh,
it's about a ring. You can get engaged, Maggie without
a ring. I know it's not customary, but you know
the ring is a symbol of love. If the love
is there, do you really need the ring right now?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Well, they're also talking about comparison, So get a cz
for now and he could make it a real one.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I got a friend. Wait, Susan, I've got a friend, Maggie,
reach out to me. I have a friend who deals
in lab diamonds. But they're beautiful, they're sort of well,
they're a lot cheaper than a real one.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Ye, well they are real, they are, They're just not natural.
So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I can't figure out here though, if if it's the
ring or the financial stress.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
The financial because she says, any advice on how to
move forward with our relationships, you keep it going with
these financial barriers. So I mean, that is what it is.
As long as you two are happy and.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Love each other. Who cares about the ring? Listen, Maggie,
reach out to me. I've got a diamond from my husband.
I don't have him anymore. I could maybe lend.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
You the ring, I like I said, get a CZ
if that's what's what it's going to take or no.
I could always replace the stone or do the lab diving.
But other than that, that's not everybody's expecting you to
get engaged, like there is there a time limit on this.
You too are in love. You two know you have
(26:43):
a future. That is the most important part. But I
get it when everyone else is a diamond you want
one to.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That's totally go the lab diamond room. But here's something
I sense. Maybe I'm wrong, Maggie, but I feel like
I'm hearing that you said he's been supporting you for
a year that you know you've been out of So
maybe there are some other financial constraints right now. And
if that's the case, get yourself back up on your feet,
you know, and get and go back to work at
(27:11):
put money back in the bank.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
You're gonna be kicking.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Trust me when I tell you, Maggie, a ring is
worth nothing if you don't have the love to go
along with it, So celebrate the love.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I'm glad you're recovering. I'm glad you're feeling better. It's great.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I think it's all good, Maggie. All right, let's move
on to question number two. Ray asked, I think Ray
is a girl. It's spelled r a Hey, Susan and Kathy.
I wanted to say that I love this podcast and
have loved watching you on The Golden Bachelor. Listening to
your podcast is one of the favorite parts of my week.
(27:49):
Do you have any advice for someone who struggles with
their relationship with their dad. My dad is great, but
my dad is also so hard to be around. He
is always negative and thinks of the worst case scenario,
and I feel like I can't tell him anything because
he's very critical or doesn't seem to care. It seems
(28:10):
like I have a dad who is there but not
actually there. If I don't do something right, he yells
at me and gets upset. I've tried to talk to
him about it, but he doesn't really apologize and doesn't
seem actually sorry. I just don't know what to do.
Have you any advice.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
He's your dad. You have to accept him like he is.
You cannot change him. And I think she's doing the
right thing by not telling him everything because.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
My question she's I don't know how old she is.
But I'm sorry, Susan, I don't accept that a dad
gets to yell at you.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Uh, I don't know it doesn't say, she said.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
If I don't do something right, he yells at me
and gets up set. So Ray I would say to
your dad, I'm really sorry you're so angry. I'm going
to step away, and when you can come and speak
to me respectfully and calmly, I would be happy to
resume this conversation. Everyone deserves that, Susan, whether it's a friend,
(29:17):
a mother, a daughter, a father, a son. You don't
get to yell at people unless it's me yelling at you,
and then it's all fair game.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah whatever. So it is her father, and I would
like to know how old she is because that would
make it a little bit easier. And as you mature,
you're able to say and yet somebody in the eye say,
this is really disrespectful. Daddy. I don't want to share
with you anymore because you're always Debbie down or a
negative you know, right, or Dougie down one. Do you
(29:48):
want us to have a good relationship. I can't change
who you are.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
You know what I'm guessing, Susan, I'm guessing he's a worrier,
a worrier.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Maybe he's worried about her, that could be, but he
is negative, she's saying.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Sometimes people are negative because they worry about what. You know,
she's on a date. What happens if you know he's worried.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
He's out there, but he's not actually there. He's there.
He's old school. He thinks the way she thinks. Enlighten him,
you know, tell him that that's this isn't.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
What you just said five minutes ago, Susan stick. We'll
just pick your story here and stick with it. Is
he gonna change, well, you said, Dad, he's your dad
and he's not going to change now, he said, Well,
then she can't.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Enlighten, enlighten him how she's feeling.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
He doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Well, he will when she silences in.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
I hope you're right. I think there's more to this
story of Ray. I want to know how old you are.
I want to know if he's siblings. I want to
know if your dad is married. I'm guessing this has
something to do more with interpersonal role.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I wonder if he's a freaking old Italian because they're stubborn.
You can't get them to change. Make up a pan
of gravy feet them. He'll be fine. There's stuck on
their ways. But you know what right I offer you
good luck And if it were me, I would try
to have that conversation and then i'd pull back. I mean,
(31:22):
it's a shame to say, but I would share everything
with him. I wouldn't want to hear his big mail.
He's negative.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You guys, sometimes, Ray, you got to be you have
to respect yourself. Yes, he is your father, but nobody
gets to treat you. You shouldn't allow anyone to treat
you disrespectfully.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Anywhow But thank you for writing in let us know
if there's any break in this al righty. Question number
three is from an anonymous Hi, golden ladies. I hope
you both are having a fabulous day if and when
you decide to read this. I'm staying anonymous on this
question because I honestly am a little embarrassed by don't
(32:00):
be embarrassed. I have not told any of my family
or friends that this is going on, So here we go.
My husband and I have been married for around five months.
For contents, we did not live together long term before marriage,
only around a month due to how rent contracts lined up. Overall,
(32:23):
I think we have a great marriage. The only issue
that still weighs on me is we struggle to sleep
in the same bed. He snores and is very sensitive
to movement, and I struggled to sleep with snoring, so
do I as well as Dawson turned a lot subconsciously
(32:43):
as I'm sleeping, So not a great combo. We bought
a king sized bed to help, but it hasn't helped much.
We've been sleeping separately for a few months now, but
I guess I always thought we'd end up trying it again.
I brought it up on time and conversation and he
told me that he also wants us to sleep in
(33:04):
the same bed, but he's come to realize that it
may not be possible. He says that getting good sleep
is more important because then our waking time together is
much happier and better. I cannot pretend that I don't
enjoy the freedom of having a bed to myself, so
(33:24):
it is not him just making me do this. But
I always thought when you get married, you share a bed,
and despite the freedom of separate beds, deep down I
do still want to share a bed. I know I
shouldn't care what others think, but it makes me worry
that people think we're having issues, and also that when
we do have struggles in the future, as all marriages do,
(33:49):
that being separated at night will only make us feel
more separate in general. Good point. I also worry that
our sex life will suffer, especially once we have kids.
What do you two think? Is it possible to have
a successful marriage and sleep separately? Any tips for sleeping
(34:10):
together that I haven't already thought of, and any advice
on having the conversation with my parents, my friends, et cetera,
if we decide to continue down this road. I am
sorry for the long question, but I so appreciate it
if you decide to answer it, love y'all and keep
up the good work. Wow. Well, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
First, there's so much to unpack here. Since when do
you have to talk to your parents? And that's what
stood out to me the most. Listen, listen, listen, Anonymous.
If I said to you you, when you talk to
your friends and parents and tell them how many times
you have sex a day or a week or a year,
(34:54):
you might want to mention you're not sharing the same bed,
are you kidding? You do not owe anyone any explanation
about where you.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Sleep, and you can have a fabulous sex life. Do
it in his room, and then you could go to
your nice, clean bed and sleep sound. There's also I
don't know if he's a person that could do this,
but that they have the sleep thing that helps them
not snore. There is a.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Thing, so there's sleep apnea. You know who knows. I
would say to you, Anonymous, he needs to go and
get diagnosed. Does he have sleep apnea? Is he overweight?
Is he you know what? Does he have obstructive? Does
he deal with the issue that constructive? Are you impressed?
I knew that obstruct.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I'm just saying in turns too and their mattresses out
there that you can't feel the other one moved. There
are ways around that. Butt. All in all, the whole
thing taken in, there is nothing wrong with having separate rooms.
It is early for it, but older people do it
all the time.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
That's the points isn't right there? I wasn't going to
say it, but of course you know now I have to.
I think it bodes if if you're sleeping separately every night.
I think part of a good marriage, especially when you're young.
When you're older, you know, take your snoring and your
journey socks and get out of here.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
To go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Yeah, but when you're young, I think that could be
detrimental to a marriage.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
I do they do you? Like she said, If we're
not doing it now, we're not together. Now things happen
in the marriage, and when you have kids, it's like
two separate lives.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
I mean, I know that when I was newly you
know married. Uh you know, in the dark ages, we
used to lie in bed at night before we go
to sleep and we talk about our day. It was
like the intimacy without the sex part. But you know
that was different. That was sex and they could still
have and then but.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Think about it.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
You're lying there and you're talking and you're getting drowsy.
Oh got to get I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It just feels a little and I understand our concern.
But the main part for me, you don't have to
Nobody has to know this unless he's telling people that, yeah,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
I would definitely get him to a doctor. That there's
things that they anewer device that you implant in the
skin that has that swam.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
With the button you press the button under your chest. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
but talk to him now. I heard when you said
he said sleep is important. It is because if you
wake up too tired and you didn't have a good
night's sleep, you're cranky and that's when you start bickering,
or you go to work and you don't give it
(37:42):
one hundred percent because you can't because you're tired. These
are all important issues, So start from scratch. And find
what's causing the snort. I mean, if you can ear
plugs those things, try.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
All these so sexy and your you know, there's the other.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Thing that's easily happened in the seventy sixty and seventy
year old. Really did you see though? That?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
She said, she kind of likes it that it's not
all him, and then later she said, but I'd like
to share that. I think anonymous, your feeling can select him.
I feel you're feeling conflicted. On the one hand, you know,
you like your good rest, but I really think the
issue here is get him checked out. If there's something
that medically can be done, that's what I would do.
(38:26):
And when athogs, and just in the other.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
One, how about five days a week during the school
I mean the school week, the work work great, and
then the weekends are you know you do well?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Let me ask you wait, let me ask you another
question that she has not thought of. What happens when
the kids come? You can't roll over and tap them go.
It's your turn to get up because he's in the
other room.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
But that's a problem in his room unless he's breast
and lock your door when you go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
So when the kids are coming mommy daddy. I feel sick.
They gotta go to Daddy.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
I totally get why you wrote in because it is something.
It's a little early for that to happen, and I
hope you guys get to the bottom of it and
figure it out at least.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
And by the way, congratulations on your wedding. On your marriage,
I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
When you travel and there's one bed in the room,
I mean, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
They ask for two queens and she can hear them,
and they get up grumpy and they go home.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Anonymous, we wish you the best, but try to figure
it out, okay.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Question four is from Aurora, and she says, Hi, Kathy
and Susan, I love you too so much. You have
so much experience and insight into life. I wanted to
ask your opinion on my current situation. I've been with
my boyfriend for almost three years. Things have been mostly
great between us, save a few hiccups centered around small
(40:04):
arguments here and there. Long story short, my mom doesn't
like him. She doesn't have much of a reason, in
my opinion, but I can't help that her disapproval ends
up making me question whether I'm in a relationship that
can stand the test of time if she and him
can't get along. My mom and myself have had a
somewhat contentious relationship ourselves, mostly due to her poor choices
(40:29):
in staying with a man that wasn't good to my
brother and me and ultimately choosing her marriage to my
stepmother or a stepfather over her two kids. Anyway, back
to the issue, I'm just going to interrupt myself here, Aurora,
that is the issue. Okay, back to the issue at hand.
Can I truly count on and commit to a relationship
(40:50):
when my mother doesn't approve of him? How would either
of you feel in my shoes? Do I trust my
own judgment and continue on with this relationship or read
more into my mom's disapate approval. I would genuinely appreciate
your perspectives. You two are the best. Thank you so
very much in advance for any advice you have to
send my way.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Well, I mean, I want to know what her mother's
judgment and issues are. As she's stating important facts about
what's something that she's seeing the way he's treating her daughter, like,
what is it? This is a pretty general she just
doesn't disapprove. But there's a reason someone wouldn't disapprove I mean,
(41:33):
would disapprove am I right, not always that she just
don't like them. Well, that's possibility, Yes, I ask yourself.
Why is she saying this? Well, because sometimes when we're
falling in love, love is blind, baby, we don't see
the red flags you would for me.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
And guess what when you see the red flags and
someone else tells you don't pay attention.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
This is true, but you bring it to their attention
and it gets in their head and they will notice eventually.
It takes a long time, But there's that other than that.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Wait a second, My mom have had a contentious relationship
due to her poor choices.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Why.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
I don't mean to be rude here, Aurora, but if
your mom has made poor choices and stayed with a
man who didn't treat you and your brother, well, really,
you're going to value her opinion over your own feelings.
This is your life, Aurora. You need to learn your
own lessons. You need to do what makes you happy,
(42:35):
and if it doesn't work out, you have no one
to blame but yourself, not your mom is your mom.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
And I've seen cases like this where people the kids
don't like the stepdad and there might be nothing wrong
with him, they just don't care for him. She's claiming
that he didn't treat them well and she chose him
over them. We don't know exactly. It's that there was
(43:04):
some issue that's a big.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's what I think. That's why I interrupted when I
read the question. I think, Rora, there's more to this
relationship and more to this story than she simply doesn't
like him. It may be tainted, she may just have
issues around who knows what, But I think you have
to trust your own gut, trust your own heart. I'm
going to tell you a little story. When I met
(43:29):
my husband, my mother in law and father in law,
God rest their souls did not like me. They did
not like me. My husband and I were married for
almost forty six years. My in laws had their own
really tough marriage issues, in fidelity, all kinds of things,
(43:50):
and I couldn't fight it. They just never liked me,
and yet we were married for forty six years.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
So what did you do? What did you do about it?
Did it bother you that they didn't care for you?
Did you speak up?
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Did you try to I spoke to my husband about it.
I my husband once said to them, you know, they
didn't change. He once said to them, Kathy and I
have been married. I don't know at the time, it
was like thirty five years. We've been married thirty five years.
Do you think you need to get over it and
start I love her? Do you think maybe you need
to get over it and start loving it?
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Don't believe beginning beg when you knew they didn't like you,
you never went to her and talked say what is it?
What is it? Oh?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Well, yes I did, and she would say, oh, no,
we do. We do. But you know she didn't and
it was very clear. I'm not going to get into details,
but trust me, it was very clear that they didn't
like me.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
And their marriage lasted forever. So an our statement, Yes,
that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
So, so, Aurora, do what makes your heart sing and
if it, if it doesn't work out, guess what. It's
not because your mother didn't like him. It's because you
and your boyfriend went ultimately down different paths. But be
respectful to your mom.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
But yeah, but or even have a conversation and figure
it out. Why mom, why do you feel like this
about him. And another important thing that is in my mind.
Does your mom realize how you and your brother felt
about the stepdad? You know, she's claiming her story right now.
(45:29):
There's two sides to every story. Not that I'm putting
you down. I'm glad you wrote in and I'm wishing
you all the best. But open your eyes and take
a clear picture of everything around you. But do what
makes you happy. Mom can't control that, you know what
I mean? All right, now, we're gonna play you ready,
gat what would you rather? We're gonna switch off reading
(45:54):
the prompt and we're both going to answer it, and
I'll start us off. So never been able to use
your phone again or be unable to have physical touch
with another person for a year? You know what? I
know this girl named Susan, and she always says, no,
(46:15):
you're not answering for me, You're answering for you.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
You didn't let me finish. I'm adopting her answer. She
always says both. I'm I'm saying neither. I couldn't do
either one of those.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
I could.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
No. I know you're going to say you could not
use your phone?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Yeah? Absolutely, I want.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
To be able to say that, Susan, but think about it.
I need to be able to hear from my children
in the romantic world.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
I would say, to pick one.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
You know what, pad wings sayd fly, I can't pick.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
One, all right? Take the next one, all right?
Speaker 2 (46:48):
The next one is oh, it had my word in it.
Would you rather have an unlimited supply of wine but
only be able to drink it from a sippy cup?
Or a lifetime supply of coffee but it's always lukewarm?
There's no brainer. I take the wine, lukewarm coffee.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Warm coffee is gross. That was a no brainer. You're right.
Have a partner who's amazing in the kitchen but terrible
in bed, oh god, or great in bed but can't
make a single meal. That's fine, I'll cook.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
And I just said, while you're reading, I'm going, well,
I'm the ladder. Great in bed, can't cook. I mean
that's an easy one too. We gotta get. Would you
rather have the hiccups during an important meeting or sneeze
uncontrollably during a first date? Since I don't work, I'm sneezing.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
What about you? I said, hiccups. I'd rather have the hiccups,
all right, have a public fight with your ex on
social media, or accidentally send an embarrassing text to one
of your kids that was meant for your partner.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Well, let me just say, let me just say, you
know what, I'm writing the rules here. I would never
have a public fight with anyone on social media ever,
So so you know, I'm pleading.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
I would not want to accidentally send either what ext
So we're moving on.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
We're not doing that one, all right.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
God we suck? Okay, all right? Have to share your
search history or our text meaning Susan and Kathy, Okay,
text with each other with your first date.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Oh, I'd share my text with you with I mean
our text with the first you know what our text
usually are, Susan, call me.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Back, help me pick this up? What should I wear? Susan?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Are you cooking tonight? Our text? If we are talking
about stuff, it's on the phone, it's where nobody can
record us. Or it's not it's not in you know, imprinted.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
For how do I say this in French? What? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Really? Almost Francis, which is how do you say in Spanish?
Speaker 1 (49:07):
That's what we were doing? Okay, take the next one,
all right?
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Would you rather be perpetually stuck in an awkward elevator
ride with your ex or before what, or be forced
to share a bed with your least favorite past coworker
for a week.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
I'll take that elevator with me.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I'll take that elevator all day long, all day long.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Okay. Sit in a puddle and it looks like you
peed your pants, or actually pee your pants, get away
with it unnoticed?
Speaker 2 (49:39):
I mean, can I just say this happened to Susan
while we're on vacation.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
So I peed my pants when I leave to ord?
Speaker 2 (49:47):
You know there's surgery for that.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
No, I did it. I don't see anymore.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
But yes, oh really you didn't pee. You're on vacation, crying, laughing. Okay,
so you do pee when you have sometimes not the
world wants to know? Okay, all right? Would you rather
call out your oooh since? Would you rather call out
your boyfriend for cheating and be wrong or be cheated
(50:12):
on once but you never find out about it.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
I wouldn't want to know. I wouldn't want to know.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
I think if it was calling out my boyfriend for
cheating and I was wrong.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
I.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
Don't know. I don't know. I don't want to be
cheated on.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Well, you would never know, So what you don't know,
don't hurt you. That's an easy one. Okay, burp in
your dates. Oh man, he tries to kiss you, now, God,
or try to pass off your guess on your boyfriend's
dog and totally get caught.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
Blaw, I'm all with that woof woof ooh, oh my god. I'
you're gonna pass off You're gonna I mean, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
You're gonna burp in the Oh no, you're not. I'll
blame the dog. I'll blame the dog. You're mixing the two?
I mean, what are you gonna do? Should happen? Sometimes
you have the belch Why the guy's trying to kiss you? Well, no,
like maybe he's on his way. Excuse me, I don't know.
I don't your's face when he tries me to kiss
(51:31):
I probably try to blame the dog.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
I'm definitely blaming the What if he doesn't have a dog,
I'm still blaming the dog.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
Did you do you smell that? E? Did you for it?
Speaker 2 (51:44):
And what your plants? Your plants are excreting something?
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Blame my partner you for what?
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Is that so disgusting?
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Oh my God, I can't believe it. But that does
it for today's episode. Key, these things are flying by.
Are we just having fun or what? I think?
Speaker 2 (52:01):
We're having a lot of fun. But you know what
I want other people. I hope that other people are
laughing with us, because you know what we've learned, life
is short. You better laugh and have fun along the way.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Enjoy the ride. And that does it for this episode
of Bachelor Happy Hours. Golden Hour, thank you so much
for tuning in, and I hope that you guys are
enjoying it as much as we are.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
I mean, if you have not tuned in. First of all,
if you're listening to this, you are tuned in. But
tell your friends, your neighbors, your aunts, your uncle's be
sure to tune in to Bachelor Happy Hour because we
have new episodes.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
And who would want to miss this talking about burping
and farty, I don't know who'd want to miss this.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
And don't forget to submit your questions to us. You
can go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or
just dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. It's easy.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
It's easy, so easy. In the meantime, listen to Bachelor
Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, or where
where you listen to podcasts. Until next time, Take care
for now
Speaker 1 (53:07):
Mm hmm
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. We're so
excited to be back again, Katy, thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Oh my gosh, I am so excited. But can we
just talk for a minute about exhaustion. Before we are
going to answer your fan questions, we want you to
submit them. We love reading them.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
It's so easy.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's easier than getting a plane back to the States
from Saint Martin. All you have to do is go
to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.
Send us your questions, your comments or updates.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Take it away, maybe all of it. We want all
of it and the updates, especially because when you're writing
these questions, we love answering them. We love giving advice,
but we always are curious how you made out. Definitely
do that for us, and just remember you can also
dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. All right, Kathy,
(01:08):
let's start with hometowns. Oh my goodness, what did you
think of this week's hometown?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Okay, first of all, the best thing starting with Juliana
and her dad Carl, who I actually loved, but I
did you just got did you get home?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Hoick?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Go Newt and go Boston? I was the accent. When
people say to me, oh, I can tell you from Boston.
I want a clip of this episode just to play
them and say, no, no, this is a Boston accent.
Carl has a Boston accent. I just loved it, though.
I mean, you're the Italian, so you got to weigh
in on this about how Italians. But I thought they
(01:46):
were so welcoming.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
They were one two. They were we are That's how
we are. They eat, they gather, and I loved that
he accepted and he liked them. Yeah, what did you think? Though?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I had to laugh when they at the pizza store
and they bring home four pizzas. I'm like, there's a
crowd of like sixty there. I'm sure those four pizzas
went far. But you know it's funny because I wish
they had shown just me being me. I wish they
had shown more of Newton, more of Boston. I just
wish they had, you know, had a nice date other
than just going to a local pizza place and try
(02:20):
to spin pizzas.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
But you know, I think she's very happy. She's giddy, like, yeah,
she doesn't want to get hurt. I mean, when I
said it was the first time in seven years she's
brought a guy home, I know, And I watched it thinking, oh,
are you going to get hurt? I don't know, So
we move it on each date. I kept looking for
(02:43):
that moment that tells us right, yeah, the modeling with
Zoe and all that was cool and she is a beautiful,
beautiful girl and not feeling that one.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Well, we'll get to her, but but I just want
to know. On of course, I told you Juliana is
my hometown girl. I still think it's going to be Latia.
But I loved the way they really welcomed him, and
I think that meant a lot to him, because this
is a guy that seems to really care about family
and what he Yeah, and did you hear him say
(03:18):
Juliana I think said to her dad, you know he's
my guy. We were aligned and they feel safe with
each other. I mean, those things really matter, and and
you know the previews, he says, he's really struggling. I'm
going out on a limb here. I think he's going
to be struggling between Juliana and Litia. All right, let's
move on to to Zoe. Wait one more? Thanks? Did
(03:42):
you wait? But did you hear him tell her I
started this. He said to Juliana, I'm falling for you.
It could be a fit. And Juliana said she'd let
down her walls. So and when he kissed her goodbye,
it was not a.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Wasn't a pack, No, it was good kids. Yeah, it's
not the one I wanted. I like her.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, all right, so let's go to Zoe who it's
definitely not the one. But I don't think it's Zoe.
I would be surprised. I think she's lovely, she's got
a great life. She's very strong, and he likes that
about her. I think Zoe's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I think doing a wedding photo shoot, I do not
think that was a good idea. I mean, just for
does anyone think that was the good idea to do
a wedding photo shoot? Wait?
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Do you remember when they tied the knot? Who was
that that tied the knot?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Latia?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Latia? Yeah that was so. I remember when Joan and Escale?
Yeah I remember that.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Well, wait a minute, do you when they did, like,
they didn't just do a wedding shoot, they did a proposal.
They did she came out in a wedding draw.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I have how she was posing. She's a fabulous She's
a beautiful model.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That's what I'm saying. I think everything you're saying is right.
She's a beautiful model. However, Grant did say you could
see he felt it was a little bit weird to
be doing a photo shoot with an engagement ranging the
whole nine yards. I mean, just practice Grant really and
I think it was foreshadowing. I think you know he's scared.
It was like, what the hell, why are we doing this?
(05:27):
He said that he was so proud of her for
doing being modeling. I didn't see him talking about them
at all. It was, Oh, she's a great model. You know,
she's beautiful, she's so good at her craft. Kind of
thing that was. It was almost like it was there
was I didn't feel anything other than damn, I look,
I wish, but don't you look like she does in
(05:48):
a wedding gown?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
God? I mean, you are beautiful. If you're listening to this.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, so you are absolutely gorgeous. Love it, but I
don't see it happening. Okay, my most.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Favorite dat or do you want to go to Dina?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Uh, let's go to Let's.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Wear for Dina? Her parents didn't come. They refused to come. Okay,
I don't remember that her dad was a religious man.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I didn't catch I don't think that's what it is necessarily,
I think. But can I just say to you, I
think that's what we call a red herring. Again, I
don't know why I go out on limbso I'm talking
to you about this stuff. I just tell you what
I really think, because I figured nobody else is listening.
Just I'm just telling Susan here. But I think that, uh,
that is that was just a red herring. I don't
(06:37):
think her parents been there had anything to do with it.
I think for her to send her home, well, it
may have put a thorn in it. But I'm saying
I didn't see the connection. I saw her and him
as companions. As you know, he trusted in her, he
believed she was saved sage advice. Yeah, he was impressed
(07:00):
of all that. And you know she was the one
that talked about Carolina and he listened to what she said.
But again, no no connection. But I don't think.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
He said like them both.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But but I don't think he sent her home because
her parents weren't there.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
I think I don't think that's the main reason. But
that was a sour start. But I was feeling I
felt so bad for her.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Oh I did too.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
That's embarrassing. It's it's like, but you have to respect
your parents' wishes.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, I don't whether she respects the wishes or not.
She was there with you know, her friends.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
I wonder if she went home and said, thanks a
lot because of you.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
She probably went home and said, you know what, he
sent me home.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
He married.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
That's right, because you didn't and they said, and they
probably said to her, no, we knew it was going south.
That's why we didn't show up. I mean, that is
a no. That's a no win for anybody. But I
let's talk about Latilla going to Wyoming. Can I just
say the big the big thing in that room.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I put it on my bucket list, cath I gotta
go there. Oh it was so beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
We're gonna go and ride horses. I'm gonna go skiing.
You can ride horses, you and faith faith. If you're listening,
Susan's coming to ride horses with the no never happening.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I mean, and I love the people the Mormons deal.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It's not an issue no.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I love that. Oh my god, here it comes, here
it comes. And they all were open. He is a
man of faith, That's all that mattered.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
He did say to her and about Juliana, and again
I'm paraphrasing here. He said about Letia, she would make
a great wife and mother, and that has been his parade,
you know, lyric about family.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And I think that's why her family loved that part.
She is so pure, that smile of hers, and she's
so falling for him.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, I see the music. I don't know who does
the music, whoever, who's ever the music? Good job, a
great job, really a good job. You can use that
term for so many things. That's an inside joke. They
both seem so genuinely happy. And I love that Grant
(09:14):
opened up about his own mother's strict religious beliefs. He
seems comfortable with her. I think he seems, Oh I've
been Oh no, you're now you're doing turncoat again on me.
You kept saying Juliana and you'll get gold.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I like, I don't know who he picks, but after
this and she will not sleep with him on the overnights?
Did you hear say that? Uh?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
I don't have she will or won't. I mean, I've heard.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
That her faith. And she also said that would be
difficult if he sleeps with other women.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Well, he's a man and she's got some pretty women,
and you know, get over at Ladia, it's happening. Forgive him,
start playing father, Forgive him for he know not what
he did.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
He knew not what he did.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Okay. So the other thing I wondered though, is how
Grant's family would fit into the Mormon faith. I have
friends who are who are Mormon. Literally, I mean they
they it's people. They're good people, but I think the
most I think they'll I think they.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Such a doll baby, I didn't look like any of them.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Well, wait, did you hear him tell Lettia's mother that
he's falling in love? He said that he hasn't said
that to any That's why saying these little things.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Well, the way he looks at her and she looks
at him, she feels him.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Okay, I can't believe said hopeful, hopeful. Okay, So y'all
need to hear. Susan and I were the other night
and Susan was saying, we were talking about, you know,
those things in life in general, and soon said, oh,
you know me, Kathy, I'm just a hopeless romantic. And
I said, no, Susan, you are a hopeful romantic. So
(11:10):
we're now coining that Susan is not a hopeless romantic.
She is a romantic.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I'm just here.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
That's it's coming this year for both of us. And
so it was the taxman on April fifteenth. Okay, wait,
I can't believe you didn't bring up Wait, I cannot.
I was. I was waiting for you to do it
because you know, I thought this was in your wheelhouse,
but you didn't. So I'm taking it over Letilla's grandfather.
Oh god, I.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Kid Susan, what happened?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I was like, I was up about his wife and
how much they I thought, is this this is family
who knows what love is? They wouldn't want to be
a part of that? Who would not want to be
part of that? I was just like you said, that
whole hometown was perfect. Do you wait?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I didn't care for Kathy. Can we be honest, dear.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Tell me the horses no, no.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
No, no no. Every time he goes to leave them
and they know he's going to the next woman. Yeah,
it's not a warm and fuzzy goodbye. He's quick, little
kiss and off he goes next.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Well, mishopeful, romantic. He didn't have time to do a
friend a stare, dip and bow and makeout session. You know,
the car's waiting times running, money's time. Spend a minute
with them before you leave? Wait? Can I also wait
the one? I got to get back to Grandpop's here
for a minute because I was crying. I've hung around
you too long, as Susan, I permitted, some.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
It is sentimental.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I am becoming. I am well. No, I've always been sentiment.
I just don't show it as easily easy to do,
he said, were you can work out anything with love,
and that kind of love that they had never goes away.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yes, no, I just.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I just made me cry. You could see how much
he missed his wife, and so you know she The
other thing I want to say about Letia, she says.
The depth of what she says to him. She said
she wants to give him everything. Fam I'm getting goosebumps again.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I'm family. I want to marry them, plug it away.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh Jesus, Okay, Grant and Litia, should you be the
lucky too? I want to be the mc at your wedding,
and Susan wants to be the officia make it happen. Wait,
the last thing though, that she said they both told
each other. Did you hear that they're falling in love
with each other? Yes, So let me just say Grant
it's got in mind that.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
A lot for her.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, but Grant's kind of a big problem if he
doesn't choose her. I mean, he's got a big problem anyway,
because he's told he's told uh Juliana that he's fall
in love with her too, And in the previews he's
telling Jesse that he's in love with two women. That's
what I think. I mean, these other two or just
wallpaper right now, they're on well, I mean they're lovely women,
(14:04):
and Zoe's beautiful and so is so is Dina. But
you know they're just.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So Zoey's They're all going to go in the Wait
then I'll buy you.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I'll buy you a new capsule wardrobe. If he doesn't
send Zoe home if she's not next.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
I agree, I agree, that's how I feel. Any I
would be quite surprised.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I just I think he's I think he's a great guy.
But you know, we have to remember I sit here
watching the show, and I have to remember that these
are young adults. They haven't had enough life experiences yet,
so I could see they're in love with two.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I mean, I couldn't have Has Latia ever been in love?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I didn't ask her when I called it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
It was quite some time before since she brought anybody
around the family. I remember hearing that, but Juliana said,
I know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Juliana was like she had brought somebody home in seven years.
I don't remember the saying that. But again, you know,
this is one of these things where I go back
to to Leslie and Theresa on our show, like, remember
you and I talked about this. We were glad that
we didn't make it to the end because who wanted.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
To be kind a heartbreaking place to be.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
What a horrible heartbreak, you know, because you.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Open yourself, you've become vulnerable. Yeah, and then you believe him.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Well, I would believe if a guy tells me, If
if a man tells me he's in love with me,
why would you not believe that?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Right?
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Unless he's got his phone list out and there's ten
other women that he's dial called the bachelor? Why because
he remains the bachelor. That's why it should be you know,
first first time wedding or something. I don't know, but
I think it's I think it's a great show. I
(15:58):
frankly am ready for Zoe to go home, not because
I don't like her.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I think she's lovely, Zoe. I think you're lovelyhead version.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I think you are an incredible model, and I would
focus on that some man will sweep you off your
feet and you will be wearing that white wedding gown
for the man of your dreams. But I just don't
see it for one minute being grand. So I can't wait.
So next week it's.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Going to break my heart between the two. In my
world Zoe left. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Oh, in my world, it was always boiled down to
those two.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
This be good.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay, Susan, it's time to get into the episode.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
We're going to start with my favorite day.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
All right, what advice Susan, would you give young women
who are dealing with gossip, rumors and all things? Mean girls? Oh?
How much can we talk about this? Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
My god? I could start with just raising my kids,
my daughter, what she went through and to be honest, Kathy,
you and I on the internet, people are mean. If
everybody was kind, it would be a well.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Not everybody's mean. And I will say to you, let
me tell you how I deal with it, and the
advice I would give to young women I've had. And
You're right, Susan, We've both had a lot of people
write just mean ass comments to us. Usually ignore them
because you know what, if you ignore them, they go away.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
But very occasionally I will address it.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
And somebody wrote something so mean the other day about
you and me and our friendship, and I wrote back
to them, Susan and I have such a great relationship,
we are such good friends. I hope someday you find
a friendship like Susan's in mine. And in the meantime,
I have a great day. It was same person that
(18:03):
said that I need a news job.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I was like, oh, that's a first.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, I'm just saying people can be mean. My advice though,
first of all young women.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Takes harder for young women, but I wouldn't We're seasoned.
If you will, okay, it.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Shouldn't be hurt. Feelings are hurt feelings about young people.
My advice to them is ignore it first and foremost
ignore it because people are either jealous, they're angry about
something else. It's typically about them, not about you. It's
the point.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
When someone's spreading a rumor. I think that would be
harder than just hearing mean things. When someone spreads a rumor,
you're going to think people are believing this thing, you
know whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And you know what, Susan, You're right, some people are
going to believe it.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
But guess what.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
We can only control our own reactions to things. We
can't make people think a certain way. We can't make
people behave.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
A certain way.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
All we can do is control our own behavior and
do the best we can to control our own thoughts.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
I got to give you a story. Okay, I was
thirteen years old. I don't know if I ever shared
this with you. I was never allowed to go to
the splash party they were called at the pool because
there was a live music and it was for teenagers.
So I turned thirteen and I wanted to go. Mind you,
I developed in the chest area very late. I used
(19:30):
to pray to God, I want.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Wait a minute, wait a second, I don't believe that. Yeah,
it was this happened to you overnight.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Overnight, Kathy, and I did, I must, I must, I
must improve my bust. You know all those exercises we
used to cry to my dad.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
We must develop our bost the bigger, the betters. We must,
we must, we must.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
So anyhow, I'm finally allowed to go to this thing.
I am so excited. And the development was starting. I
mean it came overnight. Like I said, I went into
the bathroom at the splash party and it said, Susan
Vocolo stuffs. I was wordified. What well you do? MENO
(20:13):
me right? Please tell me you did not pull down
your baby. I don't think before I do things. A
lot of times I came out I'm burst open the
top of my baby to cry my eyes out, to
show everybody I was not stuffing, and then called my
mother crying hysterical and come get me. Now.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Let me just say to the young women out there,
don't Susan. Let me just say give you one word
of advice here, don't.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Hey, it worked, it worked, it, but he believed I
stuffed anymore because there they were.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
And that was your golden life, to make sure that
people did not know.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Can you imagine walking in and reading something about yourself
and it was. It was mortifying, and it's.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
No worse than for a good time, going in to
a bathroom stall for a good time, call Kathy when
my phone number. No.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Seriously, though, it does hurt, and it does thing, and
women are girls. Don't let it get the best of you.
Be the better person. You're off your bathing suit. Yeah
you can if you want. If they're talking about stuff,
and go for it. Can we please gut?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
We're going to the fan questions right now.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
We're just leaving that. We're going.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Okay, I'm going to start us off with the first one.
It starts, Oh guess what, Susan. We have update.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
We just said that today. We love the update.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
We love the updates. Okay, this is one from Maggie.
She wrote in I don't know if you all remember,
but we certainly do. She wrote in asking for ways
she cont can connect with her boyfriend outside of food
and cooking while she struggled with brain surgery. If you
want to go back and listen to it from our episode,
it's the one called We're All in the Same Boat. Okay,
(21:57):
here it is, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I have an
update I wanted to share with you. After a question
I submitted back in the summer. It was about my
inability to eat after brain surgery and the strain this
had on my relationship with my boyfriend. Your advoice, your
advice really helped. I listened to it several times because
(22:19):
your kindness and sympathy brought me so much comfort. Thank
you so much.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Okay, so we took your advice and found other activities
to enjoy together over the summer and fall besides our
usual eating, cooking, and dining out together. But I've since
improved and can finally start to eat some foods again.
I wanted to share this progress and good news with
two of my favorite ladies who really helped in my
(22:47):
time of need. I have goosebump. Susan makes me.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I'm so happy for it.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yay, Maggie, We're so happy for you.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Wow. Goodness, So it did it? Did work? Help? She
did try? She was in an ugly place right, Yeah,
I just I love it. Now they're doing it now.
I just want to say that you, you and I've
talked about this. Food is not a big thing for me,
and so when we talked about like what she could
(23:15):
do besides eating and dining out, we were coming up
with ideas. There are lots of ways to make connections,
and I'm just so glad that they found other ways
besides the usual, you know, cooking dinosas not telling me
what they are though I want to know what they did.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I'm guessing they went to the beach and she pulled
off for bathing suit tops.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
So stop it. But just just the simple fact that
she's feeling better is the main thing, exactly it really.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
So, Maggie. We are so thrilled that you have improved health,
that your relationship is going well, that this is great news.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
That is the best one. Importantly, that you're doing good
and you want to keep on going with him because
you are going to make it. It just took time,
and it was a scary time. We prayed for you,
we thought about you, and we're so thrilled that you
came back to us and let us know.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
That means, Maggie, let us know if you have time,
let us know what activities you did. We'd love to know.
Write us in another update. We would love to hear
from him. Absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Okay, now let's get into Maggie's question. Maggie asks my
boyfriend and I have been together twelve years. I'm thirty
one and he's thirty three. I know time to get engaged.
Due to my unexpected brain surgery and all the post
of complications, I've been unable to work for a year
(24:40):
and he's had to cover us financially. He wants to
get engaged too, but keeps putting it off for the
financial reasons. He's holding off because he's determined to get
me a fancy, expensive ring. It's hard because of everyone's
expectations and comparisons when it comes to engage rings. Where's
(25:02):
where's Neil Lame when you need him? We could call
him for you? Actually, any advice on how to move
forward with our relationship despite these financial barriers.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Okay, I'm hearing two things here. Yeah, one I'm hearing
their financial issues and the other one I'm hearing, Uh,
it's about a ring. You can get engaged, Maggie without
a ring. I know it's not customary, but you know
the ring is a symbol of love. If the love
is there, do you really need the ring right now?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Well, they're also talking about comparison, So get a cz
for now and he could make it a real one.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I got a friend. Wait, Susan, I've got a friend, Maggie,
reach out to me. I have a friend who deals
in lab diamonds. But they're beautiful, they're sort of well,
they're a lot cheaper than a real one.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Ye, well they are real, they are, They're just not natural.
So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I can't figure out here though, if if it's the
ring or the financial stress.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
The financial because she says, any advice on how to
move forward with our relationships, you keep it going with
these financial barriers. So I mean, that is what it is.
As long as you two are happy and.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Love each other. Who cares about the ring? Listen, Maggie,
reach out to me. I've got a diamond from my husband.
I don't have him anymore. I could maybe lend.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
You the ring, I like I said, get a CZ
if that's what's what it's going to take or no.
I could always replace the stone or do the lab diving.
But other than that, that's not everybody's expecting you to
get engaged, like there is there a time limit on this.
You too are in love. You two know you have
(26:43):
a future. That is the most important part. But I
get it when everyone else is a diamond you want
one to.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That's totally go the lab diamond room. But here's something
I sense. Maybe I'm wrong, Maggie, but I feel like
I'm hearing that you said he's been supporting you for
a year that you know you've been out of So
maybe there are some other financial constraints right now. And
if that's the case, get yourself back up on your feet,
you know, and get and go back to work at
(27:11):
put money back in the bank.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
You're gonna be kicking.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Trust me when I tell you, Maggie, a ring is
worth nothing if you don't have the love to go
along with it, So celebrate the love.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I'm glad you're recovering. I'm glad you're feeling better. It's great.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I think it's all good, Maggie. All right, let's move
on to question number two. Ray asked, I think Ray
is a girl. It's spelled r a Hey, Susan and Kathy.
I wanted to say that I love this podcast and
have loved watching you on The Golden Bachelor. Listening to
your podcast is one of the favorite parts of my week.
(27:49):
Do you have any advice for someone who struggles with
their relationship with their dad. My dad is great, but
my dad is also so hard to be around. He
is always negative and thinks of the worst case scenario,
and I feel like I can't tell him anything because
he's very critical or doesn't seem to care. It seems
(28:10):
like I have a dad who is there but not
actually there. If I don't do something right, he yells
at me and gets upset. I've tried to talk to
him about it, but he doesn't really apologize and doesn't
seem actually sorry. I just don't know what to do.
Have you any advice.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
He's your dad. You have to accept him like he is.
You cannot change him. And I think she's doing the
right thing by not telling him everything because.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
My question she's I don't know how old she is.
But I'm sorry, Susan, I don't accept that a dad
gets to yell at you.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Uh, I don't know it doesn't say, she said.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
If I don't do something right, he yells at me
and gets up set. So Ray I would say to
your dad, I'm really sorry you're so angry. I'm going
to step away, and when you can come and speak
to me respectfully and calmly, I would be happy to
resume this conversation. Everyone deserves that, Susan, whether it's a friend,
(29:17):
a mother, a daughter, a father, a son. You don't
get to yell at people unless it's me yelling at you,
and then it's all fair game.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah whatever. So it is her father, and I would
like to know how old she is because that would
make it a little bit easier. And as you mature,
you're able to say and yet somebody in the eye say,
this is really disrespectful. Daddy. I don't want to share
with you anymore because you're always Debbie down or a
negative you know, right, or Dougie down one. Do you
(29:48):
want us to have a good relationship. I can't change
who you are.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
You know what I'm guessing, Susan, I'm guessing he's a worrier,
a worrier.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Maybe he's worried about her, that could be, but he
is negative, she's saying.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Sometimes people are negative because they worry about what. You know,
she's on a date. What happens if you know he's worried.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
He's out there, but he's not actually there. He's there.
He's old school. He thinks the way she thinks. Enlighten him,
you know, tell him that that's this isn't.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
What you just said five minutes ago, Susan stick. We'll
just pick your story here and stick with it. Is
he gonna change, well, you said, Dad, he's your dad
and he's not going to change now, he said, Well,
then she can't.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Enlighten, enlighten him how she's feeling.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
He doesn't care.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Well, he will when she silences in.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
I hope you're right. I think there's more to this
story of Ray. I want to know how old you are.
I want to know if he's siblings. I want to
know if your dad is married. I'm guessing this has
something to do more with interpersonal role.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I wonder if he's a freaking old Italian because they're stubborn.
You can't get them to change. Make up a pan
of gravy feet them. He'll be fine. There's stuck on
their ways. But you know what right I offer you
good luck And if it were me, I would try
to have that conversation and then i'd pull back. I mean,
(31:22):
it's a shame to say, but I would share everything
with him. I wouldn't want to hear his big mail.
He's negative.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You guys, sometimes, Ray, you got to be you have
to respect yourself. Yes, he is your father, but nobody
gets to treat you. You shouldn't allow anyone to treat
you disrespectfully.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Anywhow But thank you for writing in let us know
if there's any break in this al righty. Question number
three is from an anonymous Hi, golden ladies. I hope
you both are having a fabulous day if and when
you decide to read this. I'm staying anonymous on this
question because I honestly am a little embarrassed by don't
(32:00):
be embarrassed. I have not told any of my family
or friends that this is going on, So here we go.
My husband and I have been married for around five months.
For contents, we did not live together long term before marriage,
only around a month due to how rent contracts lined up. Overall,
(32:23):
I think we have a great marriage. The only issue
that still weighs on me is we struggle to sleep
in the same bed. He snores and is very sensitive
to movement, and I struggled to sleep with snoring, so
do I as well as Dawson turned a lot subconsciously
(32:43):
as I'm sleeping, So not a great combo. We bought
a king sized bed to help, but it hasn't helped much.
We've been sleeping separately for a few months now, but
I guess I always thought we'd end up trying it again.
I brought it up on time and conversation and he
told me that he also wants us to sleep in
(33:04):
the same bed, but he's come to realize that it
may not be possible. He says that getting good sleep
is more important because then our waking time together is
much happier and better. I cannot pretend that I don't
enjoy the freedom of having a bed to myself, so
(33:24):
it is not him just making me do this. But
I always thought when you get married, you share a bed,
and despite the freedom of separate beds, deep down I
do still want to share a bed. I know I
shouldn't care what others think, but it makes me worry
that people think we're having issues, and also that when
we do have struggles in the future, as all marriages do,
(33:49):
that being separated at night will only make us feel
more separate in general. Good point. I also worry that
our sex life will suffer, especially once we have kids.
What do you two think? Is it possible to have
a successful marriage and sleep separately? Any tips for sleeping
(34:10):
together that I haven't already thought of, and any advice
on having the conversation with my parents, my friends, et cetera,
if we decide to continue down this road. I am
sorry for the long question, but I so appreciate it
if you decide to answer it, love y'all and keep
up the good work. Wow. Well, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
First, there's so much to unpack here. Since when do
you have to talk to your parents? And that's what
stood out to me the most. Listen, listen, listen, Anonymous.
If I said to you you, when you talk to
your friends and parents and tell them how many times
you have sex a day or a week or a year,
(34:54):
you might want to mention you're not sharing the same bed,
are you kidding? You do not owe anyone any explanation
about where you.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Sleep, and you can have a fabulous sex life. Do
it in his room, and then you could go to
your nice, clean bed and sleep sound. There's also I
don't know if he's a person that could do this,
but that they have the sleep thing that helps them
not snore. There is a.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Thing, so there's sleep apnea. You know who knows. I
would say to you, Anonymous, he needs to go and
get diagnosed. Does he have sleep apnea? Is he overweight?
Is he you know what? Does he have obstructive? Does
he deal with the issue that constructive? Are you impressed?
I knew that obstruct.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I'm just saying in turns too and their mattresses out
there that you can't feel the other one moved. There
are ways around that. Butt. All in all, the whole
thing taken in, there is nothing wrong with having separate rooms.
It is early for it, but older people do it
all the time.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
That's the points isn't right there? I wasn't going to
say it, but of course you know now I have to.
I think it bodes if if you're sleeping separately every night.
I think part of a good marriage, especially when you're young.
When you're older, you know, take your snoring and your
journey socks and get out of here.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
To go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Yeah, but when you're young, I think that could be
detrimental to a marriage.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
I do they do you? Like she said, If we're
not doing it now, we're not together. Now things happen
in the marriage, and when you have kids, it's like
two separate lives.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
I mean, I know that when I was newly you
know married. Uh you know, in the dark ages, we
used to lie in bed at night before we go
to sleep and we talk about our day. It was
like the intimacy without the sex part. But you know
that was different. That was sex and they could still
have and then but.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Think about it.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
You're lying there and you're talking and you're getting drowsy.
Oh got to get I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
It just feels a little and I understand our concern.
But the main part for me, you don't have to
Nobody has to know this unless he's telling people that, yeah,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
I would definitely get him to a doctor. That there's
things that they anewer device that you implant in the
skin that has that swam.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
With the button you press the button under your chest. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
but talk to him now. I heard when you said
he said sleep is important. It is because if you
wake up too tired and you didn't have a good
night's sleep, you're cranky and that's when you start bickering,
or you go to work and you don't give it
(37:42):
one hundred percent because you can't because you're tired. These
are all important issues, So start from scratch. And find
what's causing the snort. I mean, if you can ear
plugs those things, try.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
All these so sexy and your you know, there's the other.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Thing that's easily happened in the seventy sixty and seventy
year old. Really did you see though? That?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
She said, she kind of likes it that it's not
all him, and then later she said, but I'd like
to share that. I think anonymous, your feeling can select him.
I feel you're feeling conflicted. On the one hand, you know,
you like your good rest, but I really think the
issue here is get him checked out. If there's something
that medically can be done, that's what I would do.
(38:26):
And when athogs, and just in the other.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
One, how about five days a week during the school
I mean the school week, the work work great, and
then the weekends are you know you do well?
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Let me ask you wait, let me ask you another
question that she has not thought of. What happens when
the kids come? You can't roll over and tap them go.
It's your turn to get up because he's in the
other room.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
But that's a problem in his room unless he's breast
and lock your door when you go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
So when the kids are coming mommy daddy. I feel sick.
They gotta go to Daddy.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
I totally get why you wrote in because it is something.
It's a little early for that to happen, and I
hope you guys get to the bottom of it and
figure it out at least.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
And by the way, congratulations on your wedding. On your marriage,
I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
When you travel and there's one bed in the room,
I mean, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
They ask for two queens and she can hear them,
and they get up grumpy and they go home.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Anonymous, we wish you the best, but try to figure
it out, okay.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Question four is from Aurora, and she says, Hi, Kathy
and Susan, I love you too so much. You have
so much experience and insight into life. I wanted to
ask your opinion on my current situation. I've been with
my boyfriend for almost three years. Things have been mostly
great between us, save a few hiccups centered around small
(40:04):
arguments here and there. Long story short, my mom doesn't
like him. She doesn't have much of a reason, in
my opinion, but I can't help that her disapproval ends
up making me question whether I'm in a relationship that
can stand the test of time if she and him
can't get along. My mom and myself have had a
somewhat contentious relationship ourselves, mostly due to her poor choices
(40:29):
in staying with a man that wasn't good to my
brother and me and ultimately choosing her marriage to my
stepmother or a stepfather over her two kids. Anyway, back
to the issue, I'm just going to interrupt myself here, Aurora,
that is the issue. Okay, back to the issue at hand.
Can I truly count on and commit to a relationship
(40:50):
when my mother doesn't approve of him? How would either
of you feel in my shoes? Do I trust my
own judgment and continue on with this relationship or read
more into my mom's disapate approval. I would genuinely appreciate
your perspectives. You two are the best. Thank you so
very much in advance for any advice you have to
send my way.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Well, I mean, I want to know what her mother's
judgment and issues are. As she's stating important facts about
what's something that she's seeing the way he's treating her daughter, like,
what is it? This is a pretty general she just
doesn't disapprove. But there's a reason someone wouldn't disapprove I mean,
(41:33):
would disapprove am I right, not always that she just
don't like them. Well, that's possibility, Yes, I ask yourself.
Why is she saying this? Well, because sometimes when we're
falling in love, love is blind, baby, we don't see
the red flags you would for me.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
And guess what when you see the red flags and
someone else tells you don't pay attention.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
This is true, but you bring it to their attention
and it gets in their head and they will notice eventually.
It takes a long time, But there's that other than that.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Wait a second, My mom have had a contentious relationship
due to her poor choices.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Why.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
I don't mean to be rude here, Aurora, but if
your mom has made poor choices and stayed with a
man who didn't treat you and your brother, well, really,
you're going to value her opinion over your own feelings.
This is your life, Aurora. You need to learn your
own lessons. You need to do what makes you happy,
(42:35):
and if it doesn't work out, you have no one
to blame but yourself, not your mom is your mom.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
And I've seen cases like this where people the kids
don't like the stepdad and there might be nothing wrong
with him, they just don't care for him. She's claiming
that he didn't treat them well and she chose him
over them. We don't know exactly. It's that there was
(43:04):
some issue that's a big.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's what I think. That's why I interrupted when I
read the question. I think, Rora, there's more to this
relationship and more to this story than she simply doesn't
like him. It may be tainted, she may just have
issues around who knows what, But I think you have
to trust your own gut, trust your own heart. I'm
going to tell you a little story. When I met
(43:29):
my husband, my mother in law and father in law,
God rest their souls did not like me. They did
not like me. My husband and I were married for
almost forty six years. My in laws had their own
really tough marriage issues, in fidelity, all kinds of things,
(43:50):
and I couldn't fight it. They just never liked me,
and yet we were married for forty six years.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
So what did you do? What did you do about it?
Did it bother you that they didn't care for you?
Did you speak up?
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Did you try to I spoke to my husband about it.
I my husband once said to them, you know, they
didn't change. He once said to them, Kathy and I
have been married. I don't know at the time, it
was like thirty five years. We've been married thirty five years.
Do you think you need to get over it and
start I love her? Do you think maybe you need
to get over it and start loving it?
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Don't believe beginning beg when you knew they didn't like you,
you never went to her and talked say what is it?
What is it? Oh?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Well, yes I did, and she would say, oh, no,
we do. We do. But you know she didn't and
it was very clear. I'm not going to get into details,
but trust me, it was very clear that they didn't
like me.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
And their marriage lasted forever. So an our statement, Yes,
that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
So, so, Aurora, do what makes your heart sing and
if it, if it doesn't work out, guess what. It's
not because your mother didn't like him. It's because you
and your boyfriend went ultimately down different paths. But be
respectful to your mom.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
But yeah, but or even have a conversation and figure
it out. Why mom, why do you feel like this
about him. And another important thing that is in my mind.
Does your mom realize how you and your brother felt
about the stepdad? You know, she's claiming her story right now.
(45:29):
There's two sides to every story. Not that I'm putting
you down. I'm glad you wrote in and I'm wishing
you all the best. But open your eyes and take
a clear picture of everything around you. But do what
makes you happy. Mom can't control that, you know what
I mean? All right, now, we're gonna play you ready,
gat what would you rather? We're gonna switch off reading
(45:54):
the prompt and we're both going to answer it, and
I'll start us off. So never been able to use
your phone again or be unable to have physical touch
with another person for a year? You know what? I
know this girl named Susan, and she always says, no,
(46:15):
you're not answering for me, You're answering for you.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
You didn't let me finish. I'm adopting her answer. She
always says both. I'm I'm saying neither. I couldn't do
either one of those.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
I could.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
No. I know you're going to say you could not
use your phone?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Yeah? Absolutely, I want.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
To be able to say that, Susan, but think about it.
I need to be able to hear from my children
in the romantic world.
Speaker 1 (46:41):
I would say, to pick one.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
You know what, pad wings sayd fly, I can't pick.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
One, all right? Take the next one, all right?
Speaker 2 (46:48):
The next one is oh, it had my word in it.
Would you rather have an unlimited supply of wine but
only be able to drink it from a sippy cup?
Or a lifetime supply of coffee but it's always lukewarm?
There's no brainer. I take the wine, lukewarm coffee.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
Warm coffee is gross. That was a no brainer. You're right.
Have a partner who's amazing in the kitchen but terrible
in bed, oh god, or great in bed but can't
make a single meal. That's fine, I'll cook.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
And I just said, while you're reading, I'm going, well,
I'm the ladder. Great in bed, can't cook. I mean
that's an easy one too. We gotta get. Would you
rather have the hiccups during an important meeting or sneeze
uncontrollably during a first date? Since I don't work, I'm sneezing.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
What about you? I said, hiccups. I'd rather have the hiccups,
all right, have a public fight with your ex on
social media, or accidentally send an embarrassing text to one
of your kids that was meant for your partner.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Well, let me just say, let me just say, you
know what, I'm writing the rules here. I would never
have a public fight with anyone on social media ever,
So so you know, I'm pleading.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
I would not want to accidentally send either what ext
So we're moving on.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
We're not doing that one, all right.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
God we suck? Okay, all right? Have to share your
search history or our text meaning Susan and Kathy, Okay,
text with each other with your first date.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Oh, I'd share my text with you with I mean
our text with the first you know what our text
usually are, Susan, call me.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
Back, help me pick this up? What should I wear? Susan?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Are you cooking tonight? Our text? If we are talking
about stuff, it's on the phone, it's where nobody can
record us. Or it's not it's not in you know, imprinted.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
For how do I say this in French? What? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Really? Almost Francis, which is how do you say in Spanish?
Speaker 1 (49:07):
That's what we were doing? Okay, take the next one,
all right?
Speaker 2 (49:11):
Would you rather be perpetually stuck in an awkward elevator
ride with your ex or before what, or be forced
to share a bed with your least favorite past coworker
for a week.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
I'll take that elevator with me.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I'll take that elevator all day long, all day long.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
Okay. Sit in a puddle and it looks like you
peed your pants, or actually pee your pants, get away
with it unnoticed?
Speaker 2 (49:39):
I mean, can I just say this happened to Susan
while we're on vacation.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
So I peed my pants when I leave to ord?
Speaker 2 (49:47):
You know there's surgery for that.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
No, I did it. I don't see anymore.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
But yes, oh really you didn't pee. You're on vacation, crying, laughing. Okay,
so you do pee when you have sometimes not the
world wants to know? Okay, all right? Would you rather
call out your oooh since? Would you rather call out
your boyfriend for cheating and be wrong or be cheated
(50:12):
on once but you never find out about it.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
I wouldn't want to know. I wouldn't want to know.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
I think if it was calling out my boyfriend for
cheating and I was wrong.
Speaker 1 (50:28):
I.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
Don't know. I don't know. I don't want to be
cheated on.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Well, you would never know, So what you don't know,
don't hurt you. That's an easy one. Okay, burp in
your dates. Oh man, he tries to kiss you, now, God,
or try to pass off your guess on your boyfriend's
dog and totally get caught.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
Blaw, I'm all with that woof woof ooh, oh my god. I'
you're gonna pass off You're gonna I mean, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
You're gonna burp in the Oh no, you're not. I'll
blame the dog. I'll blame the dog. You're mixing the two?
I mean, what are you gonna do? Should happen? Sometimes
you have the belch Why the guy's trying to kiss you? Well, no,
like maybe he's on his way. Excuse me, I don't know.
I don't your's face when he tries me to kiss
(51:31):
I probably try to blame the dog.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
I'm definitely blaming the What if he doesn't have a dog,
I'm still blaming the dog.
Speaker 1 (51:40):
Did you do you smell that? E? Did you for it?
Speaker 2 (51:44):
And what your plants? Your plants are excreting something?
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Blame my partner you for what?
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Is that so disgusting?
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Oh my God, I can't believe it. But that does
it for today's episode. Key, these things are flying by.
Are we just having fun or what? I think?
Speaker 2 (52:01):
We're having a lot of fun. But you know what
I want other people. I hope that other people are
laughing with us, because you know what we've learned, life
is short. You better laugh and have fun along the way.
Speaker 1 (52:11):
Enjoy the ride. And that does it for this episode
of Bachelor Happy Hours. Golden Hour, thank you so much
for tuning in, and I hope that you guys are
enjoying it as much as we are.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
I mean, if you have not tuned in. First of all,
if you're listening to this, you are tuned in. But
tell your friends, your neighbors, your aunts, your uncle's be
sure to tune in to Bachelor Happy Hour because we
have new episodes.
Speaker 1 (52:36):
All the time.
Speaker 2 (52:37):
And who would want to miss this talking about burping
and farty, I don't know who'd want to miss this.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
And don't forget to submit your questions to us. You
can go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or
just dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. It's easy.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
It's easy, so easy. In the meantime, listen to Bachelor
Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, or where
where you listen to podcasts. Until next time, Take care
for now
Speaker 1 (53:07):
Mm hmm
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Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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