September 11, 2024 • 33 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” Kathy and Susan sit down with Lexi Young from Joey’s season of “The Bachelor.” Lexi is giving us all her updates, from her ongoing battle with endometriosis to her dating life post-show and everything in between!
Plus, we get her take on some of your questions. How do you get past troubles in the bedroom? How do you handle the fallout of a canceled wedding? Lexi has lots of insights that she’s ready to share and you won’t wanna miss it!
Tune in now to hear all this and more, and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us. Hi, Susan, so excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
How are you doing? Are you great?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I had a great trip to New York City the
last couple of days. I'm back. I'm ready to go.
And hey, you people out there, if you're not following us,
you're missing a lot. I'm just saying, you know, just
follow the Bachelor Happy Hour and find us on Golden
Hour and you won't miss it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
You know, it's so important that you guys follow us
because you don't want to miss an episode. And the
best thing about it is if you follow us, you'll
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Speaker 2 (00:45):
How easy is that?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So, unless you're hiding under a rock or sleeping twenty
four to seven, follow us and write us a review,
and we want to hear you on our podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
And you know what, we're having so much fun answering
these questions. You got to keep them coming, people, We're
having a ball doing this. Sometimes they're sad, sometimes they're funny.
Sometimes our advice is off the charts, but we always
have something to say.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yes, we do as we do all right?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Well to have some great questions Kat today and the
most perfect guest ever.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
We do today, Bachelor Nation star and fan favorite and
one of our very favorites, Lexi Young is here. Hi, Lexi,
thanks so much for joining us and we just cannot wait.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
To chat with you.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Lexi, you are a hot blonde. I'm just saying, I
hope the world knows what she did. I mean, she's
plus ten. I kid.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
I love you, guys, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I'm so glad you're here. Tell us what's going on
with you? Besides, blondes do have more fun and you
are absolutely gorgeous. Tell us what's going on in your life?
Give us an update and crazy.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
I mean, I'm sure, as you guys know it, coming
off the show show and getting back into life is
an adjustment, to say the least. I feel like now I'm,
you know, kind of out of it enough that I'm
back into the day to day so I'm still working
my job, so I am, you know, pretty busy nine
to six during the week and then trying to date,
which I'm sure we'll get to.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So so, Lexi, you talked on Joey season about your
health issues with Endometrio says can you and by the way.
That was incredibly brave of you to do that. So
kudos to you. And you know it's an ongoing journey
for you. So could you kind of share your updates
on that.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Yeah, definitely can.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
I appreciate you guys asking so, yeah, and know is
you know, it's a disease that is so unpredictable and
it progressively gets worse over time. I was actually in
New York a couple of weeks ago and I saw
my surgeon and I'm at the point it's tough, right.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
So I'm at the point where they want to do
another surgery.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
So they want to go in and they want to
take out all that tissue that shouldn't be there. But
I just turned thirty one years old, and so my
doctor said the ideal scenario is I would have one
more surgery right before I want to conceive. And so
that's a pretty hard thing to hear when you're saying,
right like, I'm like, well, how do I time that up?
(03:13):
Like I'm not even dating someone, let alone havings about
having a child. So I'm kind of in this waiting
game right now, where like the pain has gotten worse,
but I can't I'm not really a candidate for surgery.
Given my age, they don't want you to have too
many surgeries because it creates like a lot of scar tissue.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
So it's been kind of tough.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So wait, I'm a little confused.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Like, see, you're saying they would go in and take
out the tissue and then expect an immediate try to
get you immediately to conceive before the tissue has a
chance to regrow.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Is that it.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Actually because when they go in, they clean you up,
so you're like in your optimal state, like all of that,
and then because the tissue grows back immediately.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It's so ready to conceive.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, so that was a hard conversation.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Let's see, is it painful?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
It is?
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Yeah, and it's it's like it's the type of endo.
Is the type of disease where it hits you at
any point, right, And that's also tough during dating because
I can be getting ready for a date, feeling fine
and then just get hit with a flare where like
I'm dehabilitated in cramps, and like, how do you explain
that to someone you just met? You know, So, like
it's it's tough for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Can you explain do you when you're on a date,
do you tell I mean, we saw you do it
on National TV.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Not the first date, no, but.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Typically I mean, how is that received? Like, because a
lot of people just don't know much about endometriosis, you don't, and.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
It's a fine line.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
I think I do try to disclose it now more
early on because it's a part of my life and
I want you with someone that's like no worries, like
we'll figure it out together. But I don't want to
do it on the first date because I have trauma
from my past where it was it was you know,
my AX had an issue with that, and so he
saw it as like a negative to me as a person.
(04:58):
And so like joe gave me the confidence to feel
like I can have those conversations, but it doesn't care
for me.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Are you are you committed to having your own children?
Would you adopt? How do you feel about that? Because
you did? I read somewhere or someone tell me that
you have frozen your eggs.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I did. I froze them like eight days before I
walked through the limo to meet Joey, which.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Is what's so sweet.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
I was like, it was sweet, but I was so
like you're on so many hormones during that, Like, I
was not myself, I feel like, but that's okay, I mean,
it all worked out.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
But wait, can we use that excuse Susan Eggs? So
we weren't ourselves on the show.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
She was absolutely fabulous, So I mean, yea and more
class than and more strength. We really admire you.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
So yeah, I have my eggs and you know they're
frozen right now down the street, and so that is reassuring.
But I am to answer your question one hundred percent
open to adoption. I'd love to have one of my
Like I've always wanted to be a mom. I feel
a calling towards that, and but adoption is something with
the right person, I would absolutely love to adopt.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
So I have a question. Do you believe in Soulmates?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Did you lose that?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I mean, did you believe in it prior to the show?
And do you feel any differently now?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
I think you know, if you had asked me that
at twenty six, I would have been like, yes, one
hundred percent. Like you know, but it's so funny as
you date and you get older while you're dating, like
you realize you can have multiple soulmates.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
You realize you can fall in love multiple times.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
And I always say that to my friends that are
going through a hard time because your first love, Like
it's so meaningful and powerful. But I look back to
the person I thought I was going to marry, the
person that I broke up with before I went on
the show, and I'm so grateful that we did not right,
and you see all those things afterwards.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
It takes time, Yes, it takes time to realize that.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, Lexi, how long were you with your pat your
ex that you broke up with.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Yeah, about two and a half three years, so it
was substantial. We were talking about marriage, engagement, you know,
the house, the whole thing. I live in Atlanta. People
here are married at twenty two.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Oh yeah, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
I'm me.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
I was like, Okay, when is it going to happen?
And everything happens for a reason. I'm so grateful it
didn't work out, But it does make you reevaluate how
you think about soulmates.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
At least me. I'm sure you guys feel the same, right.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
I still believe in soulmates, and I believe there's more
than one out there.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, I think for me, it's I agree with Susan,
I agree with you, Lexi. I feel like you know,
I would love to find my partner, my next partner,
but I'm not going to try to replace my husband.
It would just be someone different. But yeah, I think
you're gonna have more than one soulmate. I just have
to one of the quick questions about your ex, because
we talk about this a lot on the show. Would
you ever consider dating him again?
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Absolutely not?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
No.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Oh wow, okay, never in a million worlds.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
I think I was very disrespected in that relationship towards
my and I wish the confidence I have now. And
you know, it's funny, like I my whole life have
always kind of been in the background. I never saw
myself as like this confident person. But watching the show back,
I saw this person I didn't even know existed in me,
and I was like, why would I tolerate that?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
And so I don't regret anything. Everything happens for a reason,
you learn.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
So that's a great segue into my next question, which is,
given your experience with your ex and given your experience
with Joey and just what you learned from the show,
tell me what you're looking for now? How is are
your expectations different? And what are you looking for now
that you were before?
Speaker 5 (08:40):
They're so different it's funny, and I don't want to
be that person because I'm only thirty one.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
I've not you know.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Sometimes I talk to my friends who are like twenty six,
and I act like this elder. I'm not, but has
changed I used to be. I have to be with
this tall. I've had this whole hyper fixation on tall.
I don't care they could be five four. I want
someone who has a good soul, who is smart and
driven and very empathetic and has the same long term
goals as me in terms of like having a family
(09:06):
and you know, building something together. And I don't care
really about the physical anymore.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
It's about them being emotionally ready to.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Them being emotionally ready, having a maturity to them, and
I think physical can grow. I've also learned that as
I've dated, I've gone on dates with people that I
was not excited about looking at their pictures, and then
I got to talk to them and I was so
attracted to them.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Nice. How is the dating going right now?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
What's going on?
Speaker 4 (09:34):
It's tough out there.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
I gave up.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But you know, I look at you, Alexi, you are
absolutely truly I'm not just saying this, you are absolutely
stunningly beautiful. Do you think that maybe men are intimidated
by your beauty?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Have you ever thought about that?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Like they look at you and they go, oh, she
wouldn't talk to me going to try?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I think maybe you need to make the first move.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
I think my intimidation for me is like in my
career because I've poured myself into my work, probably to
a bit of an extreme, and I'm a bit of
a workaholic, and I go on dates with people and
they're like, oh my gosh, I look up to you
so much, like you're you're so driven, And I don't
really want to hear that. I want to be like,
I'm also driven, you know, like I think a lot
of the times so like I've been alone now for
a while, I'm thirty one, I'm extremely comfortable in my
(10:26):
own life. I'm financially stable, Like I don't need you,
so like what are.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
You want you? There's a different yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
And I love hearing that because so many women, younger women,
they say I just need the guy to complete me. No, no, no, friends.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
You need to be.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Complete by yourself and then let the right person compliment you.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
That is just brilliant. Like, so you're so right, I mean,
do you.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Have conversations not on the first few dates of course,
about having children what you want?
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Yes, I'm pretty open about it.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
I mean, yeah, I don't see why you shouldn't be.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Why not like and that's the other thing. Now, I
used to hold things back or give people a chance,
Not that I don't not give people chances, but if
I see red flags, I kind of just keep it
moving now and I'd rather say yeah, I do, yeah, right,
like I do want kids to I mean, I'm not
trying to.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Till sixty years for me to figure that out.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Susan, We're going to discuss this at a later date.
Susan sees red flags and you know, let me give
them a couple of years and see if I can
change those right flags, toy.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Would you guys agree that they never go away?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Never? Never ever ever either mine?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Once a red flag is there, it's it's red, it's crimson,
and call it any color you want, but it's not white.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
We are who we are, We believe and feel the
way we do nobody can change that, right. Do you
think they'll stick to your guns? You are, so I'm
even more proud of that than I was.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, I'm very Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
I want to know Lexi because you do seem so
confident now, and I think I'm asking you, do you
think men out there want women at your age? Because
at my age, you know, we're talking about dust. But
at your age, do you think that men want a
woman who is dependent on them? What's going on in
(12:22):
your age range? Do they want that dependency and you're
too independent because you seem independent?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Yeah, I do think so.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
I've run into that in the dating world, where I
think guys are like, we'll almost want you to lean
on them more so they can feel that power of masculinity,
like where I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Like, I again, I don't need you, I want you.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
You're in addition to my life and bringing you kind
of as a's how can you enhance what I already have?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
And so, yeah, I think guys are threatened by that,
not I want.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
You're absolutely correct, and it's a little bit I dare
say game as independent as all three of us are,
whether it's financially, I don't mind being alone. I want
to share my life with.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
You, Susan, I need you, but you need.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Them to think you need them at certain times, just
like you always have to say thank you, oh baby,
you did that for me, where we don't think anything
of it. You know, yeah, you took out the trash. Well,
that's your job, you're supposed to take out. That's your duty,
my duty, and the dishes or whatever. But when they
get gratitude for it, that makes them feel I know.
(13:29):
I learned that the hard way.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Trust me, I don't accept it right like I think
I'm so much like like a lot of guys will
be like, you want me to pick you off or
call you an uber, and I'm like, what do you mean,
Like I can get.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
There on my own. You mean, sure, call me an uber?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Like you know, Lexi, that's when you say, yes, please
send me your jet.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Forget.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
What is your favorite thing and least favorite about being single?
Speaker 5 (13:57):
That's a great question. I don't think anyone's asked me that.
It's always the narrati of is now, like, well when
are you going to meet someone?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
It's not about that.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Yeah my favor I guess my least favorite thing is
life events, So I think, yeah, I have all these
things like the fourth of July, your birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, wedding, yesing,
Like I want to start building memories. I want to
be like, oh, last year for the Fourth of July,
we went to the beach, we saw the fireworks, and
like building traditions, Like I feel like I go through
the minutia these you know, these big like big holidays,
(14:26):
and I'm with all my friends and I love them
and they're amazing, but sometimes it's like I wish I
could share that with someone else. So that's probably my
least favorite thing, and my favorite thing about being single
is being able to pour a lot of energy into
myself in a way that you can't necessarily always do
when you're in a relationships. You can be a little selfish,
right Like you can and you know, I'm working on
(14:47):
a side project right now outside of work, and you
know I can take the trip and go visit a friend.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
I maybe because I do whatever you want. I think
that's why I'm still single, because I will always do whatever,
which is why I included.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Susan, That's why you're still single because you will.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Yeah, I've heard that before, because I'm like, shoot, okay,
it is it. It's about being a team, right, and
I'm super aware of that.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
So let me just explain to you, in my opinion,
you're right, you can do whatever you want. Now, when
you get married, then you have to consider your partner
or not get married. But when you get with someone,
you have to consider your partner. And then when you
have children, game over. No more sleep, no more. You know,
it's it's a whole different you know, a whole different world.
So you know, I'm glad that you're enjoy while it's
(15:37):
a mixed bag, right, it's never perfect because when you're
your age, you want children and you want a partner,
but you know, once you have them, you have them,
and so it's it's hard.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
To get that mixed.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
Really, second baby right now, and I go to all
the baby showers. I'm the fun aunt, so I see
what it does to a relationship though, to that, like
my friends who have had the strongest marriages have had
rough days, right because having a newborn baby is hard,
so you really have a strong foundation to bring in children.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And yeah, so how do you, I want to know, Lexia,
how do you stay so positive?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Then? Because you are clearly.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
How she's living her best life.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Look at her.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
She looks in the mirror and feels thankful, grateful, Look
at me.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Hey, Susan, you and I do too, but that you know,
some days we all wake up, Come on, we all
wake well.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I'm about to go down the beach this weekend as
the fifth wheel again. I'm kind of getting used to it.
I mean, yes, I'm sorry, where's invitation? But I know
what you're saying, Lexie, you do get used to it.
You still go and you're not disappointed, but it would
have been nice.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Yeah, You're like, I definitely have my days where especially
like it will hit me like I go behind. And
I know that's so dumb to say, but like I know,
I think, oh my gosh, my friends around their second kid.
Like by the time I have kids, their kids will
be in middle school. I mean that's so dramatic, but
like you know, you get in your head and it's natural.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Is there something you do though, like every day? Like
I wake up every day and I know Susan does too.
We just say thank you. We're so grateful to you know,
wake up and have the energy. Is do you have
something you do that keeps you positive?
Speaker 5 (17:14):
I feel a sense of hope because I do believe
after going through a few traumatic relationships that ended, and
I've been through a lot, like with my health, I've
been through a lot of seasons for being thirty one,
there's hope that it will happen when it's supposed to happen.
I know that's so like lame to say that sentence act,
(17:36):
but I do feel that he's out there right now,
and it's we just haven't crossed paths for a reason,
and we will soon.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
And when it.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
Happens, I feel like it will probably happen quickly for
me because my life set up to bring someone in
and I would hopefully meet someone that matches that.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
But I mean, I would you date someone older?
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I would? I would with.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Children, with someone who has children.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
I've thought about that. I don't I can't answer that.
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I think I it would depend on the may I
guess the fil.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Yeah, I never saw that for myself, so that would
be something new for the right person. I would as
long as they would want more children, so that's really
important to me. But I would date someone older, for sure.
I've always stated.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Young me too.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
You've always stated guys younger than you. Okay, Lexi, Lexi, this,
I think we may have just hit before we move
on to the next topic. I think we may have
just hit the jackpot as to why you're not dating
guys who meet your standard, because guys do not mature
until they're Oh, I don't know, what do.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
You think since five years behind us?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, five to ten.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I mean that's why I'm saying you might want to
look at guys a little bit older because you have.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Your older I'll go younger the same age.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
A lot of times they have a lot of trauma baggage.
But who doesn't, so.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Maybe everyone does, I know.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
But if you find someone who's like and I have
no business dating a twenty six year old, but a
lot of the times the younger guys like are more multible.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
This is terrible.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I don't know, it's not terrible.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
I should probably.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I want to hook her up with Nick.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I swear you got a jet mass and I got
married when I was twenty and I trained my husband
and I'm not doing.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, that's you.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
They don't do that anymore, Kath that's done.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Really, forget another reason. I'm just saying we.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Can't compare that but we're going to have some advice
with Lexi. Lexi, will you join us with this one?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
So we read some questions and then we give some advice,
and we want you to weigh in on this. Okay,
all right, here's our first one. This one is from anonymous,
age thirty two from Cleveland, Ohio. Hi, Golden girls, I'm
curious if you have ever known anyone to cancel a
(19:53):
wedding after so much has already been paid for. I
have just been having this gut reading feeling recently that
my fiance and I are not meant to be. We
have been together for five years and I didn't see
this coming, but as the day is approaching, I am
realizing for a lot of reasons, like him recently deciding
(20:14):
he doesn't want to have kids after we previously discussed otherwise,
that I should not marry this man.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
If you know anyone who has been through.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
This, how did their family, friends, bridal party react. I
haven't told anyone besides my therapist that I'm thinking about this,
and we are four months out. I feel so guilty
because we have all spent a lot of time and
money on this, but I know if we get married,
it will end in divorce. Any words of wisdom are appreciated.
Thank you, besties. Well, Anonymous, what do you think? What
(20:45):
do you think?
Speaker 5 (20:46):
I know someone that this happened to. I won't say
who because someone looks as his wife. But it was
a similar timeline. And was it hard? While it was happening,
they had already had the bachelorette party, everything was planned,
everyone's flights were booked. Yes, it was hard. And but
here's the thing that people in your life who love
you and support you do not want you to go
obert on marriage that is going to end in divorce.
(21:07):
If you're thinking about that before walking down the aisle,
it's only going to get more challenging. And so yes,
it might be like a season, a little period of
really something you don't want to deal.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
With, but I can. I have to say you can't.
You can't.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah, it'll hurt like hell. But I think she should
upfront talk to him and tell him what she's thinking
and feeling, you know, because sometimes men will say, oh,
I don't think I want to have kids, yet they
do or they don't even know they do. Not that
she should stay and try it and end up in
a divorce, but you're exactly right.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
The people I think I think people would say, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I think people initially would say, oh, you're just having
cold feet. That's what people would start to say. But
but the but anonymous, what I hear you saying is
you're very thoughtful about this. You've you've talked about it
with your therapist, and and what I'm hearing is he
has changed his mind about children.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And you know what, that's just not okay to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
And frankly, that's what engagements are for. You know, it's
better to break it off now, in my opinion. You know,
send back the silver, send back the honeymoon money, send
it all back, and next when you find the right guy,
go elpe. And you know what, even you've made it,
even you haven't spent too much money. I think that's
really sad. But I think she's got to do the
(22:28):
right thing.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
I think it hurts a lot, and you're going to
feel guilty, but don't just just be you and be
true to yourself, because if not, you'll regret this.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Yeah, and I think it's important to talk to him too,
Like I do. I understand that you can get these
thoughts in your head and they can ruminate and they
can start to spiral, Like I think sitting down having
a conversation, maybe he feels the same way.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Like that's what I said, Like she's really considering stopping this.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Also, she's also very concerned about what her family and friends, and.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
They're her family and friends. They're going to get over it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, and if they don't, you know.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
Not their life. They're not agreement. They're not living with
him for the next sixty years, like at the end
of the day, Like they might have thoughts, feelings, emotions,
but it's not their life. And so she only pender
her story.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And Lexi, you're so wise, she is.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
We wish you lots of luck. Anonymous from Cleveland, Okay.
The next one is from Robin and she's forty eight
and from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Hey, ladies, I have been
running into an issue in the bedroom with my husband.
We are on very different pages when it comes to sex,
like how often we want it, how often each one
(23:46):
wants it. He has a high libido and wants to
have sex every day, sometimes even two times a day.
Not only do I not have that sex drive, but
a few years ago my back got injured in a
car accident, so having sex that frequently isn't sustainable for me.
Some days I'm in pain and cannot have sex at all.
(24:09):
I don't know what to do or how to get
on the same page about this. We are great partners
otherwise and have been together for fifteen years, but I
fear he is going to want to leave me over
this because we've been fighting about it recently. Let me
know your thoughts and if you have any advice, thank
you and love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Oh me, okay, LEXI, what do you say?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
I think as someone who has a lot of pelvic pain,
I can understand to a degree of you know, maybe
someone wanting it more and being in pain and not
being able to necessarily do that all the time. But
I think with the right person, if you had an
open line of communication, there's other things that you can
do by words that maybe you guys can find other
things that can like spark that romantic by what they're
(24:59):
looking for in a different way that's not as impactful
to her physical health and way right.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I mean, when I first hear it, I feel bad,
But then I also know women like she's forty eight,
so you kind of the libido goes like this, it's
going to start and the next ten years are even
worse when you start losing hormones and starts.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
I don't think that's true for every woman. I don't
think that's true. I think can women, Yes, some women
their libido increases over age.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I think I was that girl. Yeah, I think that
that this Robin what I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Maybe part of this is and I think you can
agree with this, Lexi. If you're in pain and you
know something, some sexual act is going to cause you pain,
you're probably not saying, hey, let's go do that because
you know what's going to ensue. Right, So she's probably
fearful of the pain, and that decreases her sexual appetite.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I mean, I get that, but there's other things right
could play. Yeah, so keep them satisfied, so to speak,
but in a way that you could enjoy it as well.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Do you not think I'm curious again, Lexi, Susan and
I are, you know, on the other end of the
spectrum here. But do you think that not having sex
twice a day, like, can you see that ruining a marriage?
Speaker 3 (26:24):
No, said day is a lot.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
I think, Yeah, I think that you know everyone.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Well once a day whatever I'm saying, could you see that?
Speaker 5 (26:32):
I think not after fifteen years. I think everyone has
their expectations of what they need from a physical perspective,
But there has to be something outside of that physical
relationship that's keeping you together, right, Like, it's not their
whole relationship. Isn't writing on this and I hope not?
And it sounds like it's not because she said they
have a great marriage. But yeah, I think you know,
(26:53):
it's all about communication, especially when she steals.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
My words, I love you. You're exactly right. Yeah, that's
our sea work.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
It is, it is.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
But again, it is so important that you have a conversation,
let them know how you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
What I was trying to say is even if you
can communicate, I'm asking you, as a younger person, even
if you communicate, if if that, if her husband is
that's his jam. You know, I want to have sex
once a day, sometimes twice a day. And that's what
I hate to say. It has become a deal breaker
for him.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Marriages have ended on a lot less.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
But it's not yet. She's worried that it could they've
been Yeah, she's thinking, overthinking it, she's feeling a little
bit of guilt.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
She hurts.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Rob.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You know, Robin, send your husband to Susan and me
will take care of him. You just rest your back,
will take care of him.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Oh my goodness, Robin. We wish you luck, but talk
to your man and then discover other things. Yeah, exactly,
that's even coming from a thirty one year old and
a seventy one year old and a sixty seven year old.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Wow, I know.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I'll meet them now.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I think we've we've hit the hit the wait, lex.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
What if it were you and they wanted, you know,
to be physical?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I mean twice a day every day is ridiculous. Come on,
that gets old after fifteen years.
Speaker 5 (28:27):
Can be wrong with the right person. Like, I'm a
very physical touch type of type of gallon. So lot
o the things you can do.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
But like, what is your love language, Lexie?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
I love languages quality time for sure.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
I love being with the person that I care about,
doing nothing even like you know, but I feel like
you know, you could probably I could speak to all
of them, but quality time is mine.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
What about you, guys?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Physical touch and well, I think I want all five.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I want them all, but I want look, I want
them all, I want them all.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I have a question, Lexi, before we leave here, do
you have any questions for us, any advice you want
from must or do you have any advice for us?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
And totally what do you think?
Speaker 4 (29:09):
God?
Speaker 5 (29:09):
Well, I guess the advice, Like I guess you know
you said you got married Kathy at twenty.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
How old you were?
Speaker 3 (29:16):
I was a little older, okay, in my twenties, So.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
In your twenties? Like, what what do you like?
Speaker 5 (29:22):
There's all this pressure, right, I mean, I feel it
a lie as I'm turning thirty one, Like everyone says
that thirty five your fertility goes down, and I have
a you know, you.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Know my girlfriend just had a baby. She's forty two
and she gorgeous.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
And then you hear narratives. I hear this all the time.
Oh you're single and thirty one? What's wrong with you? Oh?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
So I will tell you, Lexi, my daughter moved back.
She's as beautiful as you are and very successful, and
she moved back to Austin. And this is the advice
I'd give everyone who if you're asking for advice, who's
your age?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
And you seem to really have adopted it.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Do the things that you love, whatever those activit, these are,
whatever brings you joy, Get out and do those things,
and the right people will come into your life, because
they're not going to come knock at your front door, right.
But if you're out doing the things that you love
and meeting people, you're going to meet that person that
connects with you and that you connect with.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
And I do believe that to a point, Kathy be
the times are so different with the dating apps and
the people with their head down and they think, oh
that one's next, who's next? And there are multiple dating sites.
It's not always that easy. Well I was, But the
most important part of the statement that you just made
was do the things that you like that make you
(30:41):
happy and if that happens.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Great, Yeah, yeah for sure. And just trying to stay
positive like you guys said, but it's not it needs
to stop.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Like I think, Kathy has to keep me positive because
I bitch all the time.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Not perfect obviously, I think you said if you got.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Sorry, wait excuse me, who's not perfect?
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Well, God, don't go there.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Lex.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
We would love to be in your company again. And
you're in Atlanta, I.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Am for now.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what that looks like
for me because dating in Atlanta is hard.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
But I don't want to move every city every not.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
That everyone tells me, but like, you're not going to
move to New York and be.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Come to Austin. There's tons of single guys in Austin.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Austin's great too. Have you ever been.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
I've been for a work trip. I've never been for fun,
but it's they had great restaurants, Like it's.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Yeah, hot, hot, hot, hot, but it's a beautiful, beautiful city.
And you know what, you have given us such good advice,
given everybody good advice. I just thank you so much
from the bottom of my heart. And Kat, maybe we
could take the show on the road and go down
to Atlanta and hang and we'll do a puckist from her.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I love that I have great friends in Atlanta. I'm
going to see if they can if they've got you,
if they've got kids, your rage, So I'm gonna see
if they know anybody's single.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Let you. I'll get back to you on that.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
You just keep doing you stay beautiful.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Thank you guys the best.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
That Well, that's it for this episode of Bachelor Happy
Hour's Golden Hour. Thank our lovely guest, Lexie, and this
is not the last time we'll be talking to you.
We adore you.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Yeah, Alexi, We have loved chatting with you and I
have to say I loved you on Joey's season. I
love you even more now and it has nothing to
do with you being blonde. You are wise beyond your
years and whatever's wrong with you, guys, figure it out
because this girl should not be single. But in the meantime, Lexi,
while you're looking for a guy, the rest of you
(32:32):
join us on our podcast. Be sure to follow Bachelor
Happy Hour. We have new episodes coming out all the
time and if you enjoyed today, you are gonna.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Love the one sung it up.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
You need to go to her page and check her out.
Did you post what you look like right now with
this blonde hair? I mean, I just can't.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
You are one hot mama.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And ladies and gentlemen submit your questions because you see
what we do. We dissect them. We give the best
advice we can. I mean, we're all over the map
with it. So you can go to bachelornation dot com
slash Goldenour and hit us up on social media.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Thanks again and have a great week. See you next time.
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us. Hi, Susan, so excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
How are you doing? Are you great?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I had a great trip to New York City the
last couple of days. I'm back. I'm ready to go.
And hey, you people out there, if you're not following us,
you're missing a lot. I'm just saying, you know, just
follow the Bachelor Happy Hour and find us on Golden
Hour and you won't miss it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
You know, it's so important that you guys follow us
because you don't want to miss an episode. And the
best thing about it is if you follow us, you'll
get notified.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
How easy is that?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So, unless you're hiding under a rock or sleeping twenty
four to seven, follow us and write us a review,
and we want to hear you on our podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
And you know what, we're having so much fun answering
these questions. You got to keep them coming, people, We're
having a ball doing this. Sometimes they're sad, sometimes they're funny.
Sometimes our advice is off the charts, but we always
have something to say.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yes, we do as we do all right?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Well to have some great questions Kat today and the
most perfect guest ever.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
We do today, Bachelor Nation star and fan favorite and
one of our very favorites, Lexi Young is here. Hi, Lexi,
thanks so much for joining us and we just cannot wait.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
To chat with you.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Lexi, you are a hot blonde. I'm just saying, I
hope the world knows what she did. I mean, she's
plus ten. I kid.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
I love you, guys, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I'm so glad you're here. Tell us what's going on
with you? Besides, blondes do have more fun and you
are absolutely gorgeous. Tell us what's going on in your life?
Give us an update and crazy.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
I mean, I'm sure, as you guys know it, coming
off the show show and getting back into life is
an adjustment, to say the least. I feel like now I'm,
you know, kind of out of it enough that I'm
back into the day to day so I'm still working
my job, so I am, you know, pretty busy nine
to six during the week and then trying to date,
which I'm sure we'll get to.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
I can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
So so, Lexi, you talked on Joey season about your
health issues with Endometrio says can you and by the way.
That was incredibly brave of you to do that. So
kudos to you. And you know it's an ongoing journey
for you. So could you kind of share your updates
on that.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Yeah, definitely can.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
I appreciate you guys asking so, yeah, and know is
you know, it's a disease that is so unpredictable and
it progressively gets worse over time. I was actually in
New York a couple of weeks ago and I saw
my surgeon and I'm at the point it's tough, right.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
So I'm at the point where they want to do
another surgery.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
So they want to go in and they want to
take out all that tissue that shouldn't be there. But
I just turned thirty one years old, and so my
doctor said the ideal scenario is I would have one
more surgery right before I want to conceive. And so
that's a pretty hard thing to hear when you're saying,
right like, I'm like, well, how do I time that up?
(03:13):
Like I'm not even dating someone, let alone havings about
having a child. So I'm kind of in this waiting
game right now, where like the pain has gotten worse,
but I can't I'm not really a candidate for surgery.
Given my age, they don't want you to have too
many surgeries because it creates like a lot of scar tissue.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
So it's been kind of tough.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So wait, I'm a little confused.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Like, see, you're saying they would go in and take
out the tissue and then expect an immediate try to
get you immediately to conceive before the tissue has a
chance to regrow.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Is that it.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Actually because when they go in, they clean you up,
so you're like in your optimal state, like all of that,
and then because the tissue grows back immediately.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It's so ready to conceive.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah, so that was a hard conversation.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Let's see, is it painful?
Speaker 4 (04:00):
It is?
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Yeah, and it's it's like it's the type of endo.
Is the type of disease where it hits you at
any point, right, And that's also tough during dating because
I can be getting ready for a date, feeling fine
and then just get hit with a flare where like
I'm dehabilitated in cramps, and like, how do you explain
that to someone you just met? You know, So, like
it's it's tough for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Can you explain do you when you're on a date,
do you tell I mean, we saw you do it
on National TV.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Not the first date, no, but.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Typically I mean, how is that received? Like, because a
lot of people just don't know much about endometriosis, you don't, and.
Speaker 4 (04:36):
It's a fine line.
Speaker 5 (04:37):
I think I do try to disclose it now more
early on because it's a part of my life and
I want you with someone that's like no worries, like
we'll figure it out together. But I don't want to
do it on the first date because I have trauma
from my past where it was it was you know,
my AX had an issue with that, and so he
saw it as like a negative to me as a person.
(04:58):
And so like joe gave me the confidence to feel
like I can have those conversations, but it doesn't care
for me.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Are you are you committed to having your own children?
Would you adopt? How do you feel about that? Because
you did? I read somewhere or someone tell me that
you have frozen your eggs.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
I did. I froze them like eight days before I
walked through the limo to meet Joey, which.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Is what's so sweet.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
I was like, it was sweet, but I was so
like you're on so many hormones during that, Like, I
was not myself, I feel like, but that's okay, I mean,
it all worked out.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
But wait, can we use that excuse Susan Eggs? So
we weren't ourselves on the show.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
She was absolutely fabulous, So I mean, yea and more
class than and more strength. We really admire you.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
So yeah, I have my eggs and you know they're
frozen right now down the street, and so that is reassuring.
But I am to answer your question one hundred percent
open to adoption. I'd love to have one of my
Like I've always wanted to be a mom. I feel
a calling towards that, and but adoption is something with
the right person, I would absolutely love to adopt.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
So I have a question. Do you believe in Soulmates?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Did you lose that?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
I mean, did you believe in it prior to the show?
And do you feel any differently now?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
I think you know, if you had asked me that
at twenty six, I would have been like, yes, one
hundred percent. Like you know, but it's so funny as
you date and you get older while you're dating, like
you realize you can have multiple soulmates.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
You realize you can fall in love multiple times.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
And I always say that to my friends that are
going through a hard time because your first love, Like
it's so meaningful and powerful. But I look back to
the person I thought I was going to marry, the
person that I broke up with before I went on
the show, and I'm so grateful that we did not right,
and you see all those things afterwards.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
It takes time, Yes, it takes time to realize that.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, Lexi, how long were you with your pat your
ex that you broke up with.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Yeah, about two and a half three years, so it
was substantial. We were talking about marriage, engagement, you know,
the house, the whole thing. I live in Atlanta. People
here are married at twenty two.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Oh yeah, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
I'm me.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
I was like, Okay, when is it going to happen?
And everything happens for a reason. I'm so grateful it
didn't work out, But it does make you reevaluate how
you think about soulmates.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
At least me. I'm sure you guys feel the same, right.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
I still believe in soulmates, and I believe there's more
than one out there.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Yeah, I think for me, it's I agree with Susan,
I agree with you, Lexi. I feel like you know,
I would love to find my partner, my next partner,
but I'm not going to try to replace my husband.
It would just be someone different. But yeah, I think
you're gonna have more than one soulmate. I just have
to one of the quick questions about your ex, because
we talk about this a lot on the show. Would
you ever consider dating him again?
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Absolutely not?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
No.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Oh wow, okay, never in a million worlds.
Speaker 5 (07:56):
I think I was very disrespected in that relationship towards
my and I wish the confidence I have now. And
you know, it's funny, like I my whole life have
always kind of been in the background. I never saw
myself as like this confident person. But watching the show back,
I saw this person I didn't even know existed in me,
and I was like, why would I tolerate that?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
And so I don't regret anything. Everything happens for a reason,
you learn.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
So that's a great segue into my next question, which is,
given your experience with your ex and given your experience
with Joey and just what you learned from the show,
tell me what you're looking for now? How is are
your expectations different? And what are you looking for now
that you were before?
Speaker 5 (08:40):
They're so different it's funny, and I don't want to
be that person because I'm only thirty one.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
I've not you know.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Sometimes I talk to my friends who are like twenty six,
and I act like this elder. I'm not, but has
changed I used to be. I have to be with
this tall. I've had this whole hyper fixation on tall.
I don't care they could be five four. I want
someone who has a good soul, who is smart and
driven and very empathetic and has the same long term
goals as me in terms of like having a family
(09:06):
and you know, building something together. And I don't care
really about the physical anymore.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
It's about them being emotionally ready to.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Them being emotionally ready, having a maturity to them, and
I think physical can grow. I've also learned that as
I've dated, I've gone on dates with people that I
was not excited about looking at their pictures, and then
I got to talk to them and I was so
attracted to them.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Nice. How is the dating going right now?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
What's going on?
Speaker 4 (09:34):
It's tough out there.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
I gave up.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But you know, I look at you, Alexi, you are
absolutely truly I'm not just saying this, you are absolutely
stunningly beautiful. Do you think that maybe men are intimidated
by your beauty?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Have you ever thought about that?
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Like they look at you and they go, oh, she
wouldn't talk to me going to try?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I think maybe you need to make the first move.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
I think my intimidation for me is like in my
career because I've poured myself into my work, probably to
a bit of an extreme, and I'm a bit of
a workaholic, and I go on dates with people and
they're like, oh my gosh, I look up to you
so much, like you're you're so driven, And I don't
really want to hear that. I want to be like,
I'm also driven, you know, like I think a lot
of the times so like I've been alone now for
a while, I'm thirty one, I'm extremely comfortable in my
(10:26):
own life. I'm financially stable, Like I don't need you,
so like what are.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
You want you? There's a different yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
And I love hearing that because so many women, younger women,
they say I just need the guy to complete me. No, no, no, friends.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
You need to be.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Complete by yourself and then let the right person compliment you.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
That is just brilliant. Like, so you're so right, I mean,
do you.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Have conversations not on the first few dates of course,
about having children what you want?
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Yes, I'm pretty open about it.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
I mean, yeah, I don't see why you shouldn't be.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Why not like and that's the other thing. Now, I
used to hold things back or give people a chance,
Not that I don't not give people chances, but if
I see red flags, I kind of just keep it
moving now and I'd rather say yeah, I do, yeah, right,
like I do want kids to I mean, I'm not
trying to.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Till sixty years for me to figure that out.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Susan, We're going to discuss this at a later date.
Susan sees red flags and you know, let me give
them a couple of years and see if I can
change those right flags, toy.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Would you guys agree that they never go away?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Never? Never ever ever either mine?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Once a red flag is there, it's it's red, it's crimson,
and call it any color you want, but it's not white.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
We are who we are, We believe and feel the
way we do nobody can change that, right. Do you
think they'll stick to your guns? You are, so I'm
even more proud of that than I was.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, I'm very Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
I want to know Lexi because you do seem so
confident now, and I think I'm asking you, do you
think men out there want women at your age? Because
at my age, you know, we're talking about dust. But
at your age, do you think that men want a
woman who is dependent on them? What's going on in
(12:22):
your age range? Do they want that dependency and you're
too independent because you seem independent?
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Yeah, I do think so.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
I've run into that in the dating world, where I
think guys are like, we'll almost want you to lean
on them more so they can feel that power of masculinity,
like where I'm.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Like, I again, I don't need you, I want you.
Speaker 5 (12:40):
You're in addition to my life and bringing you kind
of as a's how can you enhance what I already have?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
And so, yeah, I think guys are threatened by that,
not I want.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
You're absolutely correct, and it's a little bit I dare
say game as independent as all three of us are,
whether it's financially, I don't mind being alone. I want
to share my life with.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
You, Susan, I need you, but you need.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Them to think you need them at certain times, just
like you always have to say thank you, oh baby,
you did that for me, where we don't think anything
of it. You know, yeah, you took out the trash. Well,
that's your job, you're supposed to take out. That's your duty,
my duty, and the dishes or whatever. But when they
get gratitude for it, that makes them feel I know.
(13:29):
I learned that the hard way.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Trust me, I don't accept it right like I think
I'm so much like like a lot of guys will
be like, you want me to pick you off or
call you an uber, and I'm like, what do you mean,
Like I can get.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
There on my own. You mean, sure, call me an uber?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Like you know, Lexi, that's when you say, yes, please
send me your jet.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Forget.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
What is your favorite thing and least favorite about being single?
Speaker 5 (13:57):
That's a great question. I don't think anyone's asked me that.
It's always the narrati of is now, like, well when
are you going to meet someone?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
It's not about that.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Yeah my favor I guess my least favorite thing is
life events, So I think, yeah, I have all these
things like the fourth of July, your birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, wedding, yesing,
Like I want to start building memories. I want to
be like, oh, last year for the Fourth of July,
we went to the beach, we saw the fireworks, and
like building traditions, Like I feel like I go through
the minutia these you know, these big like big holidays,
(14:26):
and I'm with all my friends and I love them
and they're amazing, but sometimes it's like I wish I
could share that with someone else. So that's probably my
least favorite thing, and my favorite thing about being single
is being able to pour a lot of energy into
myself in a way that you can't necessarily always do
when you're in a relationships. You can be a little selfish,
right Like you can and you know, I'm working on
(14:47):
a side project right now outside of work, and you
know I can take the trip and go visit a friend.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
I maybe because I do whatever you want. I think
that's why I'm still single, because I will always do whatever,
which is why I included.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Susan, That's why you're still single because you will.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
Yeah, I've heard that before, because I'm like, shoot, okay,
it is it. It's about being a team, right, and
I'm super aware of that.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
So let me just explain to you, in my opinion,
you're right, you can do whatever you want. Now, when
you get married, then you have to consider your partner
or not get married. But when you get with someone,
you have to consider your partner. And then when you
have children, game over. No more sleep, no more. You know,
it's it's a whole different you know, a whole different world.
So you know, I'm glad that you're enjoy while it's
(15:37):
a mixed bag, right, it's never perfect because when you're
your age, you want children and you want a partner,
but you know, once you have them, you have them,
and so it's it's hard.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
To get that mixed.
Speaker 5 (15:49):
Really, second baby right now, and I go to all
the baby showers. I'm the fun aunt, so I see
what it does to a relationship though, to that, like
my friends who have had the strongest marriages have had
rough days, right because having a newborn baby is hard,
so you really have a strong foundation to bring in children.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And yeah, so how do you, I want to know, Lexia,
how do you stay so positive?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Then? Because you are clearly.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
How she's living her best life.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Look at her.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
She looks in the mirror and feels thankful, grateful, Look
at me.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Hey, Susan, you and I do too, but that you know,
some days we all wake up, Come on, we all
wake well.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I'm about to go down the beach this weekend as
the fifth wheel again. I'm kind of getting used to it.
I mean, yes, I'm sorry, where's invitation? But I know
what you're saying, Lexie, you do get used to it.
You still go and you're not disappointed, but it would
have been nice.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Yeah, You're like, I definitely have my days where especially
like it will hit me like I go behind. And
I know that's so dumb to say, but like I know,
I think, oh my gosh, my friends around their second kid.
Like by the time I have kids, their kids will
be in middle school. I mean that's so dramatic, but
like you know, you get in your head and it's natural.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Yeah it is.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Is there something you do though, like every day? Like
I wake up every day and I know Susan does too.
We just say thank you. We're so grateful to you know,
wake up and have the energy. Is do you have
something you do that keeps you positive?
Speaker 5 (17:14):
I feel a sense of hope because I do believe
after going through a few traumatic relationships that ended, and
I've been through a lot, like with my health, I've
been through a lot of seasons for being thirty one,
there's hope that it will happen when it's supposed to happen.
I know that's so like lame to say that sentence act,
(17:36):
but I do feel that he's out there right now,
and it's we just haven't crossed paths for a reason,
and we will soon.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
And when it.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
Happens, I feel like it will probably happen quickly for
me because my life set up to bring someone in
and I would hopefully meet someone that matches that.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
But I mean, I would you date someone older?
Speaker 4 (17:54):
I would? I would with.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Children, with someone who has children.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
I've thought about that. I don't I can't answer that.
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
I think I it would depend on the may I
guess the fil.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Yeah, I never saw that for myself, so that would
be something new for the right person. I would as
long as they would want more children, so that's really
important to me. But I would date someone older, for sure.
I've always stated.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Young me too.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
You've always stated guys younger than you. Okay, Lexi, Lexi, this,
I think we may have just hit before we move
on to the next topic. I think we may have
just hit the jackpot as to why you're not dating
guys who meet your standard, because guys do not mature
until they're Oh, I don't know, what do.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
You think since five years behind us?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, five to ten.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I mean that's why I'm saying you might want to
look at guys a little bit older because you have.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Your older I'll go younger the same age.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
A lot of times they have a lot of trauma baggage.
But who doesn't, so.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Maybe everyone does, I know.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
But if you find someone who's like and I have
no business dating a twenty six year old, but a
lot of the times the younger guys like are more multible.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
This is terrible.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I don't know, it's not terrible.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
I should probably.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I want to hook her up with Nick.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
I swear you got a jet mass and I got
married when I was twenty and I trained my husband
and I'm not doing.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, that's you.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
They don't do that anymore, Kath that's done.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Really, forget another reason. I'm just saying we.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Can't compare that but we're going to have some advice
with Lexi. Lexi, will you join us with this one?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
So we read some questions and then we give some advice,
and we want you to weigh in on this. Okay,
all right, here's our first one. This one is from anonymous,
age thirty two from Cleveland, Ohio. Hi, Golden girls, I'm
curious if you have ever known anyone to cancel a
(19:53):
wedding after so much has already been paid for. I
have just been having this gut reading feeling recently that
my fiance and I are not meant to be. We
have been together for five years and I didn't see
this coming, but as the day is approaching, I am
realizing for a lot of reasons, like him recently deciding
(20:14):
he doesn't want to have kids after we previously discussed otherwise,
that I should not marry this man.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
If you know anyone who has been through.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
This, how did their family, friends, bridal party react. I
haven't told anyone besides my therapist that I'm thinking about this,
and we are four months out. I feel so guilty
because we have all spent a lot of time and
money on this, but I know if we get married,
it will end in divorce. Any words of wisdom are appreciated.
Thank you, besties. Well, Anonymous, what do you think? What
(20:45):
do you think?
Speaker 5 (20:46):
I know someone that this happened to. I won't say
who because someone looks as his wife. But it was
a similar timeline. And was it hard? While it was happening,
they had already had the bachelorette party, everything was planned,
everyone's flights were booked. Yes, it was hard. And but
here's the thing that people in your life who love
you and support you do not want you to go
obert on marriage that is going to end in divorce.
(21:07):
If you're thinking about that before walking down the aisle,
it's only going to get more challenging. And so yes,
it might be like a season, a little period of
really something you don't want to deal.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
With, but I can. I have to say you can't.
You can't.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah, it'll hurt like hell. But I think she should
upfront talk to him and tell him what she's thinking
and feeling, you know, because sometimes men will say, oh,
I don't think I want to have kids, yet they
do or they don't even know they do. Not that
she should stay and try it and end up in
a divorce, but you're exactly right.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
The people I think I think people would say, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I think people initially would say, oh, you're just having
cold feet. That's what people would start to say. But
but the but anonymous, what I hear you saying is
you're very thoughtful about this. You've you've talked about it
with your therapist, and and what I'm hearing is he
has changed his mind about children.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And you know what, that's just not okay to do it.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
And frankly, that's what engagements are for. You know, it's
better to break it off now, in my opinion. You know,
send back the silver, send back the honeymoon money, send
it all back, and next when you find the right guy,
go elpe. And you know what, even you've made it,
even you haven't spent too much money. I think that's
really sad. But I think she's got to do the
(22:28):
right thing.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
I think it hurts a lot, and you're going to
feel guilty, but don't just just be you and be
true to yourself, because if not, you'll regret this.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
Yeah, and I think it's important to talk to him too,
Like I do. I understand that you can get these
thoughts in your head and they can ruminate and they
can start to spiral, Like I think sitting down having
a conversation, maybe he feels the same way.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Like that's what I said, Like she's really considering stopping this.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Also, she's also very concerned about what her family and friends, and.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
They're her family and friends. They're going to get over it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, and if they don't, you know.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
Not their life. They're not agreement. They're not living with
him for the next sixty years, like at the end
of the day, Like they might have thoughts, feelings, emotions,
but it's not their life. And so she only pender
her story.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
And Lexi, you're so wise, she is.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
We wish you lots of luck. Anonymous from Cleveland, Okay.
The next one is from Robin and she's forty eight
and from Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Hey, ladies, I have been
running into an issue in the bedroom with my husband.
We are on very different pages when it comes to sex,
like how often we want it, how often each one
(23:46):
wants it. He has a high libido and wants to
have sex every day, sometimes even two times a day.
Not only do I not have that sex drive, but
a few years ago my back got injured in a
car accident, so having sex that frequently isn't sustainable for me.
Some days I'm in pain and cannot have sex at all.
(24:09):
I don't know what to do or how to get
on the same page about this. We are great partners
otherwise and have been together for fifteen years, but I
fear he is going to want to leave me over
this because we've been fighting about it recently. Let me
know your thoughts and if you have any advice, thank
you and love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Oh me, okay, LEXI, what do you say?
Speaker 4 (24:34):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
I think as someone who has a lot of pelvic pain,
I can understand to a degree of you know, maybe
someone wanting it more and being in pain and not
being able to necessarily do that all the time. But
I think with the right person, if you had an
open line of communication, there's other things that you can
do by words that maybe you guys can find other
things that can like spark that romantic by what they're
(24:59):
looking for in a different way that's not as impactful
to her physical health and way right.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
I mean, when I first hear it, I feel bad,
But then I also know women like she's forty eight,
so you kind of the libido goes like this, it's
going to start and the next ten years are even
worse when you start losing hormones and starts.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
I don't think that's true for every woman. I don't
think that's true. I think can women, Yes, some women
their libido increases over age.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I think I was that girl. Yeah, I think that
that this Robin what I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Maybe part of this is and I think you can
agree with this, Lexi. If you're in pain and you
know something, some sexual act is going to cause you pain,
you're probably not saying, hey, let's go do that because
you know what's going to ensue. Right, So she's probably
fearful of the pain, and that decreases her sexual appetite.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I mean, I get that, but there's other things right
could play. Yeah, so keep them satisfied, so to speak,
but in a way that you could enjoy it as well.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Do you not think I'm curious again, Lexi, Susan and
I are, you know, on the other end of the
spectrum here. But do you think that not having sex
twice a day, like, can you see that ruining a marriage?
Speaker 3 (26:24):
No, said day is a lot.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
I think, Yeah, I think that you know everyone.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Well once a day whatever I'm saying, could you see that?
Speaker 5 (26:32):
I think not after fifteen years. I think everyone has
their expectations of what they need from a physical perspective,
But there has to be something outside of that physical
relationship that's keeping you together, right, Like, it's not their
whole relationship. Isn't writing on this and I hope not?
And it sounds like it's not because she said they
have a great marriage. But yeah, I think you know,
(26:53):
it's all about communication, especially when she steals.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
My words, I love you. You're exactly right. Yeah, that's
our sea work.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
It is, it is.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
But again, it is so important that you have a conversation,
let them know how you're feeling.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
What I was trying to say is even if you
can communicate, I'm asking you, as a younger person, even
if you communicate, if if that, if her husband is
that's his jam. You know, I want to have sex
once a day, sometimes twice a day. And that's what
I hate to say. It has become a deal breaker
for him.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Marriages have ended on a lot less.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
But it's not yet. She's worried that it could they've
been Yeah, she's thinking, overthinking it, she's feeling a little
bit of guilt.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
She hurts.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Rob.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You know, Robin, send your husband to Susan and me
will take care of him. You just rest your back,
will take care of him.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Oh my goodness, Robin. We wish you luck, but talk
to your man and then discover other things. Yeah, exactly,
that's even coming from a thirty one year old and
a seventy one year old and a sixty seven year old.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Wow, I know.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I'll meet them now.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I think we've we've hit the hit the wait, lex.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
What if it were you and they wanted, you know,
to be physical?
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I mean twice a day every day is ridiculous. Come on,
that gets old after fifteen years.
Speaker 5 (28:27):
Can be wrong with the right person. Like, I'm a
very physical touch type of type of gallon. So lot
o the things you can do.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
But like, what is your love language, Lexie?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
I love languages quality time for sure.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
I love being with the person that I care about,
doing nothing even like you know, but I feel like
you know, you could probably I could speak to all
of them, but quality time is mine.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
What about you, guys?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Physical touch and well, I think I want all five.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I want them all, but I want look, I want
them all, I want them all.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I have a question, Lexi, before we leave here, do
you have any questions for us, any advice you want
from must or do you have any advice for us?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
And totally what do you think?
Speaker 4 (29:09):
God?
Speaker 5 (29:09):
Well, I guess the advice, Like I guess you know
you said you got married Kathy at twenty.
Speaker 4 (29:15):
How old you were?
Speaker 3 (29:16):
I was a little older, okay, in my twenties, So.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
In your twenties? Like, what what do you like?
Speaker 5 (29:22):
There's all this pressure, right, I mean, I feel it
a lie as I'm turning thirty one, Like everyone says
that thirty five your fertility goes down, and I have
a you know, you.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Know my girlfriend just had a baby. She's forty two
and she gorgeous.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
And then you hear narratives. I hear this all the time.
Oh you're single and thirty one? What's wrong with you? Oh?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
So I will tell you, Lexi, my daughter moved back.
She's as beautiful as you are and very successful, and
she moved back to Austin. And this is the advice
I'd give everyone who if you're asking for advice, who's
your age?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
And you seem to really have adopted it.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Do the things that you love, whatever those activit, these are,
whatever brings you joy, Get out and do those things,
and the right people will come into your life, because
they're not going to come knock at your front door, right.
But if you're out doing the things that you love
and meeting people, you're going to meet that person that
connects with you and that you connect with.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
And I do believe that to a point, Kathy be
the times are so different with the dating apps and
the people with their head down and they think, oh
that one's next, who's next? And there are multiple dating sites.
It's not always that easy. Well I was, But the
most important part of the statement that you just made
was do the things that you like that make you
(30:41):
happy and if that happens.
Speaker 5 (30:42):
Great, Yeah, yeah for sure. And just trying to stay
positive like you guys said, but it's not it needs
to stop.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Like I think, Kathy has to keep me positive because
I bitch all the time.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Not perfect obviously, I think you said if you got.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Sorry, wait excuse me, who's not perfect?
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Well, God, don't go there.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Lex.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
We would love to be in your company again. And
you're in Atlanta, I.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Am for now.
Speaker 5 (31:08):
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what that looks like
for me because dating in Atlanta is hard.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
But I don't want to move every city every not.
Speaker 4 (31:15):
That everyone tells me, but like, you're not going to
move to New York and be.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Come to Austin. There's tons of single guys in Austin.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Austin's great too. Have you ever been.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
I've been for a work trip. I've never been for fun,
but it's they had great restaurants, Like it's.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Yeah, hot, hot, hot, hot, but it's a beautiful, beautiful city.
And you know what, you have given us such good advice,
given everybody good advice. I just thank you so much
from the bottom of my heart. And Kat, maybe we
could take the show on the road and go down
to Atlanta and hang and we'll do a puckist from her.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I love that I have great friends in Atlanta. I'm
going to see if they can if they've got you,
if they've got kids, your rage, So I'm gonna see
if they know anybody's single.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Let you. I'll get back to you on that.
Speaker 3 (31:53):
You just keep doing you stay beautiful.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Thank you guys the best.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
That Well, that's it for this episode of Bachelor Happy
Hour's Golden Hour. Thank our lovely guest, Lexie, and this
is not the last time we'll be talking to you.
We adore you.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Yeah, Alexi, We have loved chatting with you and I
have to say I loved you on Joey's season. I
love you even more now and it has nothing to
do with you being blonde. You are wise beyond your
years and whatever's wrong with you, guys, figure it out
because this girl should not be single. But in the meantime, Lexi,
while you're looking for a guy, the rest of you
(32:32):
join us on our podcast. Be sure to follow Bachelor
Happy Hour. We have new episodes coming out all the
time and if you enjoyed today, you are gonna.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Love the one sung it up.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
You need to go to her page and check her out.
Did you post what you look like right now with
this blonde hair? I mean, I just can't.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
You are one hot mama.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
And ladies and gentlemen submit your questions because you see
what we do. We dissect them. We give the best
advice we can. I mean, we're all over the map
with it. So you can go to bachelornation dot com
slash Goldenour and hit us up on social media.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Thanks again and have a great week. See you next time.
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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