April 30, 2025 • 37 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we have a very special reunion: Former Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner is here! The trio is reminiscing on their experiences on the show as well as updates where they’re at now, including a health update from Gerry. Then, we kick off our advice portion with the question of the day: What advice do you have to young listeners that will face big disappointments in life? Plus, Gerry answers some of our most asked questions, from single parents introducing their kids to a potential partner to finding a balance between a supportive parent and a grieving partner when you lose your spouse. Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back, everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Kathy and I are back to join you. We're so excited,
a don't we, Kat.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
We are always so excited to get back together. Be
sure to check out our latest episode. We've been having
so much fun answering all your questions and chatting with
all of your Bachelor Nation.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Faves, every single one of you. But today we have
one hell of a guest baby. He is very special
to us and he was the first ever Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Gary Turner, Hey, Gar.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Welcome, Hi you guys. It's so good to see you
and hear your voices again. Love you guys to pieces.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It's been a minutegare So before we even get started,
I have a bone to pick with you, if you
don't mind, Can I do that right off the bat.
I was so excited that it was you coming, because
let me start with this.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Can you define friendship?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Oh boy?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
The definition of friendship would be forgiving of someone who's
close to you, being tolerant of them, understanding them, staying
oh man, because now I'm gonnas myself.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
No no.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So, when you were on TV the other day, I
was watching and I sent you a text, well spoken, Gary,
you didn't send a response.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Joan was there, she sent a response. Anybody else but my.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Friend Gary sasn't. Don't feel badly. He doesn't answer me either.
He's very big now, he's very popular. He must have
a lot of dates. We're gonna, we're gonna figure out
why Gary.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Are you not read your text? Looking? He's looking at
this poem? Did I get it?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Yeah? I missed it. It's not that I saw and ignore.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
All Right, we're gonna we're we're gonna, we're gonna grow you.
We're gonna grow you later, Gary, But right now, we
have so much stuff we want to dive into. So
we're gonna get things started, and we want to know
what you've been up to. Just give us, give us
the day in the life of Gary Turner. What's going
on with you?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Well, So it was a nice winter. It was the
first time that i'd been able to get away from
the Midwest winters. And I went to Mexico for a
couple of months, so an awful lot of time. And
then of course when I'm down there, my dad passed away,
so I had to rush back and you know, take
care of a bunch of estate things for him, and
(02:37):
I've been dealing with my siblings and the things that
come along with dealing with the estate.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I'm doing the same just as my head.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Above water now on those things. And I'm back to
playing pick a ball three or four times a week,
and pretty much I'm really having a good time. I'm
enjoying myself.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
So waite, how was Mexico? Where were you? Do you
speak Banish? Tell me about Mexico.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
So I don't speak much Spanish, but the place I
was at was San Carlos, which is about halfway down
the Bahats on the west coast of the mainland, and
the nearest big city is there, Mascio. There's an airport there,
and the people there are so genuine and so kind
(03:22):
that if you try to communicate with them and use
a few Spanish words, they help you so much. There
was a little grocery story I went to all the time,
and there was a guy in the butcher shop. He
always wanted to practice his English with me, and I
always wanted to practice my Spanish. Oh god, it was nice,
it was scary.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
All you need to know is don dasti Albano. Albano.
Then you just need to say, maserve beer or you know, gusto,
uh me, gusta mucho, vino tinto. I love red wine.
I mean, any of those things will get you where
(04:01):
you want to go.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Just no bus.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
What made you go to Mexico?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Gear, Well, so I have a cousin who has a
sailboat there, and so she had the boat, I rented
a condo. We shared, uh, quite a bit of time.
You know, we'd go to meals together. She was a
fairly accomplished mountain climber, and so I had a climbing partner.
I had a yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
We'll get to that.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
So it turned out to be a pretty good combination
for the two of us.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So your daughters came down for a short time. Angie
and Jenny came down for a bed.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
They did for the last five days.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
They came all they got from the whole winter. You
only had the girls for five days.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
They have jobs. I do not. I have no place
I got to be.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
All right, So you're back. You had a good time
in Mexico. We saw you at AFR. How was that
getting back and seeing Joan and Chalk and you know everybody.
How did that gel must have been a little surreal.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Well, I tell you what, I really liked it because
the Friday morning breakfast I got to sit with Joan
for quite a while and we compared notes. Then Chalk
shows up, Clayton shows up, so we're all chitty chatting.
And then that night the same group plus Leslie sat
down for you know, a couple of drinks. And that
was a ball. Man. You just hear in everyone's different
(05:36):
perspective on what has happened and what's good, what's not
working out right, and so forth. I loved it.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, and there's no hard feelings.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I mean, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Leslie looked great, didn't she She did?
Speaker 4 (05:50):
She did.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I swear that girl gets younger every every time I
say her. It's like she looks younger. She's living the
good life. That's all I got to say.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah, But was it weird though? To be back there,
and you know, because you were the lead, you know,
was it weird or not?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
I wouldn't say weird. I was. I was thankful to
be there after a long hiatus, Uh, to get the
invitation back and get to see so many of the people.
I was. I was really thrilled with that, genuinely from
my heart. I loved it.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
All right, So are you dating anyone now? Gary? What's
going on anyone new in your life?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
There is there, there is something going on. It's a
little early to talk about, I think. So that's exciting.
That is exciting, And you can, uh, maybe get back
to me in a month or so and we'll talk
about I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Calling your ass again.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
I'm calling You can call him, but he doesn't answer
or return calls, so you're screwed.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You don't respond the messages. We're gonna we're gonna talk
about this further.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, Gary, is she local? I mean, just can we just?
Is she local?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
And I have a question, how did you meet?
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Tell you that yet?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Was it tender?
Speaker 4 (07:03):
No? I don't even know what.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I bet it was on a pickleball court.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
No, it's a story, but it goes along with the
story of you know, how it's happened, how I feel
about it. But mostly I want to make sure that
it's as solid as it feels.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Because you talk about it, and then I will.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Give you a really nice story.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, Okay, So, Kathy, if it's not how he thinks
it's going then he'll be on paradise.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I think, yeah, there you go, Susan, when you have
a PhD in logic here, I'm just paying attention.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I see that sometime.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
So so well, certainly, Gary, we're happy for you if
I mean, of course, and seriously we hope that whoever
she is, that you are happy that you found love.
You know, Susan and Kat well you know strike wise
person's out there for.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
She won't let it go, Susan.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
She just never wanted the talk about. All right, so Gary,
you but you are still in Indiana, right, that's where
you are now? Yeah, still same house, same everything's good,
and your health is good. We have to you know
your health is good.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
It is you know. The The whole point is, as
long as I don't have symptoms, I don't have to
talk about treatments yet, and every six what tests I
you know that one test is going to be way
out of whack and get more out of whack as
time goes by. But quite honestly, I feel great. I
(08:44):
am enjoying life right now tremendously.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
And I told you Gary, but I'll bachination I have.
The kind of cancer you have is very rare. It
strikes one in a million men. And believe it or not,
I dated a guy who uh got your same diagnosis,
is about six months before you got it. And he
I know, right, I know too, and I know two
guys and whatever. But he is fine. Just to let
(09:11):
you know, he's he went through the treatment. He waited
like a year and a half and then he had
the treatment and he's fine. And the doctors have said.
Something else is you know you're gonna get hit by
a bus and die before this cancer gets you. So
bats our nation, Gary Turner is around for the long haul, Susan.
(09:31):
He's gonna return your message. Leave him alone, the poor guy.
All Right, we got to get into our question of
the day. We're gonna we're gonna play. So we're gonna
we have a question of the day, Gary, and we
want you to wait in on it. Okay, So to
(09:54):
the young listeners out there, of which there are many,
what advice did you give them when it comes to
facing big disappointments in life, like, you know, for example,
not getting their dream job or a relationship not working out,
those kinds of big things. What would your advice be?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
You know, that's a really good question. I think that.
My first reaction is to tell them that part of
the learning process in life is dealing with disappointment. And
it's why I wanted to be in a team sport
my daughters. I wanted them to be in team sport
because when you're defeated, when you lose, you learn so
(10:34):
much more, I think, than when you win. So look
at those things as an opportunity to improve yourself or
or you know, find new additional things to add to
your resume, or whatever the case may be. But look
at failure as a positive building block or what you
do next.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Garry, when your daughters.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
If your daughters had their first relationship not work out
and they had broken hearts, how did you Because you
don't want to hear that, you know, time heels, life
goes on. You'll remember this later. It'll help you grow
At that point you want to cry, don't.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Tell me that.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
But the thing is isan you know Jenny, you know
my oldest daughter. You know her pretty well. And the
huh you by the way, yeah that's.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
True is his carving copy.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Yeah. The first time she broke up with a serious boyfriend,
my wife and I were relieved. We didn't like the guy.
It's like good written good.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I do like your advice, though, Gary, because I do
think that, you know, it's it's it's not what we
win what we lose. It's not the things we get
right in life. It's the things we get wrong that
teach us the biggest lessons. So I think that's really
good advice.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Yeah. I think that it's close to home for me
as well, that the things that in the recent past,
the last two years, that I've done wrong have been
tremendous lessons for me on how to do better going forward.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah, and you know, I repeat mistakes sometimes now that
at this age I'm finally getting it. Care Gary, did
you know that you can't you know people you know
how close Susan and I are.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I don't know if you know this. Two years ago,
not quite two years ago, I broke my wrist exactly
the same way, fell backward on it, had the same surgery,
same hand. And the funny thing was, Susan has four
pins and a really large plate in her wrist. And
I said, of course you end out to me, Susan,
because I had two pins and a small plate screwed sorry,
(12:41):
two screws. Yeah, pins and plates is what they call it.
You know again, I got pins, Susan get screws again.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
You know, the two of you are not competitive on
who gets screwed the most.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Gary, this is a family show. I win, Susan, you
always win.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
No, I'm just saying, okay, now, all right.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
We're moving on.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
All right.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
So we have a collection of our most asked questions
by our listeners, and Gary, we're.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Going to give these listeners some advice.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
You're going to go first after I, Kathy and I
read them, and then we'll put our two cents in.
Sometimes Kathy and I, like earlier, when we did a
podcast the other day, we agreed on almost everything, which
is unusual.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Okay, So if we agree with you, great, If we don't,
that's great.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
So okay, all right you ready, yep.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
So what advice do you have for single parents introducing
their children to a new partner?
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Oh? Wow, what a Oh that's a good one. I
think the setting and the planning and the preparation are critical.
You pick a happy place. Uh, you make sure that.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
New world in case they freak out. You want to
be a problem.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
We don't care. But I think the important thing is
is being don't over talk, but be honest. You know,
if you start over explaining and saying too much, then
it looks suspicious. Kids are really intuitive, So one hundred
percent honest, but just don't overdo it.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And don't you feel time like how long have you
been seeing someone before you do?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
The introduction matters? Or I think it's not necessarily.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Well, I think that depends. We're talking about a younger
single parent. Then you know with smaller children, right, I
guess yeah, And then I think yes, you have to
be protective of the kids. You have to make sure
that the partner that you're about to introduce has a
very high level of success in your relationship. You don't
want to be, you know, a revolving door. Right.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
I think you're right with you young children, but with
older children, Gary, we are you're a widower. I'm a widow.
I think that has a different set of rules for
for for us because adult children. Because with me, I
have not introduced my kids to one guy that I
(15:19):
was dating, and then if a guy's a friend, And
the reason is I feel, really I want my kids
to know that I'm never going to replace that I'm
not even attempting to replace their dad and you, I'm
sure replace your wife. Uh So, I try to have
those conversations with my kids before, you know, before I
(15:43):
even think about meeting having the meet a potential partner.
You are you that way?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Well, I would push back on that a little bit.
My recent experience. The person that i've I've just started dating,
got to meet Angie and Jenny early on. We all
went to dinner. It was.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I'm gonna let you finish this conversation with Gary. I've
got Jenny on speed dial and Angie, so I'm going
to I'm gonna find out. I'll get back for the
end of this podcast with all the scoop for you.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
But with adult children, I don't think there's anything wrong
with it, as long as you feel a certain way
about this person, right right?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Do Wait a minute, do your kills? Gary? Wait? Do
you do? Angie and Jenny who you know, Susan, I
do know well, and we love them. They're lovely ladies.
But when they meet someone, because you know, you've had
a few girlfriends since the show, how do you say
to them you know or don't you do? You just
(16:47):
want you to meet?
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I do everything I can to not bias them because
after the fact, I don't even ask for opinions, but
it's important and significant to me how quickly they get
back to me and what they have to say. So
I'm not inviting anything, but when I get it, I
know I'm getting the straights true.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
So what if what if your daughter had to yeah, really?
What if your daughter said to you, yeah, really, They're like, god, Dad, please?
Speaker 2 (17:16):
We were instant friends though, Jenny.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
That's we were. We were. But my question is, Gary,
what if Jenny Nanjie called you and said, I'm just
going to use the name Kathy Susan Kathy Sue. That's
that's your data. Kathy Sue, Kathyue, and and Jenny and
Angie call you and say, Dad, what the hell are
(17:40):
you thinking? Are you going to still go out with
Kathy Sue?
Speaker 4 (17:45):
They would never say that. Well, what they would say
that would send me the same message is Dad, do
you know this person well enough? Dad? Do you have
you asked all the right questions? That's all they need
to do to be gracious, but send me the same message.
And because they'd never say those negative.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Things, can I ask you, Gary, what those questions would
be like that they were referring to?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Oh yeah, the things that I've learned to be a
better communicator about is is talking about long term plans
where someone would want to live. Financial security, you learned,
You learned, Yeah, slow, but I get there, you know too,
That's what we I'm a guy, so some of those
(18:35):
questions that are important and the answers are so yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I don't know when do you know when to have
those questions?
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Though I have antecdotally. I think there's a certain rhythm
that you fall into with someone that you feel like
you click with. And when you feel that rhythm, bringing
hard topics up is very easy. It's amazingly easy. I
had a really nice experience this weekend. She and I
(19:08):
spent some time together and we started talking on the sofa,
and an hour and a half later, we're at my island,
both of us eating ice cream out of the same container.
I love this and we didn't even realize.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Wait, wit, Garry, what is it with you? What is
it with you? You share a milkshake with Teresa, you
have a cup of ice cream. I share with this car.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
He got me cotten candy.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
I mean, you know, there is such a thing as
let me buy you an ice cream cone. Look the
point is they were I'm just pulling your chain, you
know that communicating.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I think you're right.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I think if it were my if it were me
with my mom introduced me with somebody or something and
I didn't care for them, I would probably.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Say nothing.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Until I was asked and then say, you know it's
about you, and well.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
That's but Susan, you're an adult. Think about your daughter.
They are adults too. But like my my kids, my
kids and Gary, when I say these things like what
the hell are you thinking that, I don't really think
your daughters would ever say that. I'm just the gist
is what I was after your Your daughter's polite. I'm polite.
I would never say that either.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
It's just you don't even need to say those things.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
He knows that right, So, but I will say my
children would say to me Mom. My kids would be
polite but direct and say Mom, I don't I don't
know what you're thinking. I know you're lonely, or I
know you'd like to find someone, or whatever. They would say,
but I think you need to get to know this
(20:46):
guy better before we spend any more time with him,
and that would help you.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Have you met my sons why.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, why what would your kids have been?
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Really?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
What do you think? Thanks?
Speaker 6 (21:01):
Son?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
What were you thinking? Wow? Okay, next question.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
All right, I have. The question I have is how
do you go because I deal with this again like
you do, Gary, how do you go about supporting yourself
while also supporting your children after the loss of their parent,
your spouse.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
Oh, Kathy, that's how I struggle. Yeah, it's we just
metaphorically joined hands and wouldn't allow the others to sink
too far. And in that circle, it wasn't just my
daughter's but also my granddaughters. They played such a big role.
(21:49):
My oldest granddaughter, Peyton was only fifteen at the time,
and when the family got together at the house and
everyone was ready to leave, Peyton looked at me and
she goes, Paul, I'm not leaving. You can't be in
this house by yourself this week. And it's like, oh,
I got it. Was like that's the kind of support,
(22:12):
that quiet, happy, supportive thing that people do when they're
a close family. Yeah. So that's the best thing I got.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I for me, I mean, my grandchildren one wasn't even
born and the other one was not even three. They
were babies. But I just you know, it's still my
kids have gotten How long has it been for you,
Gary since your wife died?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
This coming July, it will be eight years.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Okay, so I just had my sixth anniversary. It feels
I think my kids still your kids were older, we have.
Some of your kids were older. My kids were in
their early thirties. So so it's still hard though, I mean,
I have to be honest, it's still hard.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
We support each other, children, parents. Everybody has their own
way of mourning and.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
For loss, but you're there together and you touch base
all the time that you happen.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Now, there's there's unspoken communication at times, at certain times
of the year, certain little events where we just look
at each other and we go, oh, we know she's
looking down, and because we all think the same thing
at those moments.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, yeah, well we.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Do times sometimes I'm sure you say, mom will be
cracking up right now. Oh yeah, squashing that one.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I gotta I have to tell you, I'm not I
don't know what I think about reincarnation. But another topic.
But my newest granddaughter, who will be two in April.
Of course, so she was not alive, but she literally
has my husband. Her middle name is Daryl, my husband's name.
And she has his eyes, not just the color. My
(23:58):
daughter and my been had the same colors, but her
eyes are exactly my husband's. But the thing that and
she gets me every time my husband used to say
like he'd see something, he'd smile and you go wow
all the time it was wow. My my granddaughter does
it all the time. And I just know that, you know,
(24:19):
I just feel like that is nice.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Yeah, awesome, So.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
I feel like, but you know, I agree with you, Gary,
it's great. It's great advice that just marking those times
and feeling it together and just knowing that, as you said, Susan,
we all grieve differently, but we all we all.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
In the case of a Divorceee, you're still not going
to introduce your children until it's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
You're not.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
It's not replacing a father, but when you have adult children,
it's it's a whole different Yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Picture, if you will. Okay, we have another one.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
What advice do you have for those entering their golden
years that struggle with aging, whether it be mentally managing
their physical bodies, changing, et cetera. What challenges do you
think come with aging that you think people don't expect
or talk about.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Oh my god, go gety go there are I mean,
I was shocked.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I think that one of the things that strikes me
is the challenge of getting good sleep. You get up
and down to the bathroom three or four times a night,
and that causes the next day to be just a
touch more groggy than it should be. The aches and
pains of staying physically fit. Okay, so you decide that
(25:53):
you don't want to go to the gym, or you
don't want to go to pick a ball, you've wasted away.
But when you do those things, you have to accept
the fact that you're going to hurt a lot of
the time.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
It's a lot.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Yeah, that's not Susan.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
There's just like Atlas over there, she pumps on.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
She doesn't nobody can compare to this one, but.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
She's the exception.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
No, wait a minute, wait is that great?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Things easier?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Wait, it's true, I've fed my share. Let me just say, Gary,
I think, uh that working out everything you just said, like,
sometimes things hurt. But you know what, if we're working
out and you're after the age of thirty, you start
losing muscle mass, right, So if we're maintaining or just
losing slightly. We're ahead of the game.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Yeah, that's true. You know, from another angle, a slightly
different thing is training your your mind to remain nimble. Yes,
this is a simple example. But I was gone to
Mexico for two months. I came back, go to shady
nook next door to say hi to friends, and there's
(27:04):
this momentary what was his name again? Because I haven't
seen it once, and it's like the memory just is
a little slower than it used to be. And I
really hate that.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I know, good friends, my friend mind's like a complete crawl.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Okay, go ahead, Gary, you what you went to friends?
Speaker 4 (27:23):
What?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
So?
Speaker 4 (27:25):
You want to hold your friends tight, you want to
honor them, and you want to make sure that you
maintain those relationships, because I think that's important as you
get older and you just now and then forget people's names.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
But let me just say I have two things to say.
Number one, who are you talking to right now? It's
a little mental challenge for you. Who are you talking to?
That That one wasn't again he's struggling there. And then
that other that other zip I would say, Gary, that
one of the things that you're your You haven't mentioned,
but you're sort of mentioning it is. As we get older,
(27:59):
some people fall into isolation, and that loneliness the isolation,
so it takes more work. As we get older, we
have to get out, make new friends, have activities, because
if we don't, the slide down is a whole lot faster.
I think.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, shared with the world.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That was our message coming off of that show, the
first ever show. What we felt was it isn't over. Everybody,
life is not over. Keep moving, get out. It's full
of possibilities.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I mean, we didn't get the guy what guy?
Speaker 3 (28:39):
What guy? The Oh you mean the guy that gave
away gifts to everyone but me? Oh that guy garrig
You need my address to send me something because you
know I'll send.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
It to you.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
We love you, We love you.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Yeah, we really are. We pull your chain, I put
your chain, but we are genuinely happy for you.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Really does she realize she has to meet us?
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Oh yeah, that comes I'm told.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I think it would be fun.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Oh yeah, there's been I can't wait a second. Gary,
you did, and I'm putting it out to vaccinations, so
you can't deny it. Susan, back me up. On this Gary,
did you or did you not say you were going
to have a bunch of us out to go out
on your boat?
Speaker 6 (29:23):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Yes he did past ten a.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Hund No, that is an open invitation.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
We need, definitely, we need, we need, we need a
date and a time, Carrie, yep.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
And everybody shows up and we party like crazy. That
would be a very popular event here man. Yes, it
would totally renewed the celebrity status. It an amp up
like you would not believe.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Listen, will you make me a drink? Because I made
you vodka Cranbery on the show? Will you make me
a drink?
Speaker 4 (29:54):
I absolutely would? Okay, I of course absolutely would.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
And I'll cook always.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Yeah, Oh my god, that'd be awesome. Well, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
You got to make them plain.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
But Garret, how grateful are you to this day of
having this happen in your life, having that opportunity, I mean,
did it not change so many things?
Speaker 4 (30:16):
I have expressed that gratitude many times, many different ways,
to many people. Granted, the whole experience wasn't all one
hundred percent great, but my personal development, the things that
I've been able to do, the fun I have being
(30:37):
around people, Oh god, it's it was amazing and it
still is amazing. I actually love going through Indianapolis Airport
because it's still like everybody knows who I am and
it's all fun.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
And did you learn anything that you didn't know about yourself?
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Yes? And that question is answered before and it's an
easy one. I didn't know I was so easy to
cry about stuff. I know.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Wait a minute, you, wait a minute, you didn't know.
I'm being serious. You didn't know that you were a crier?
Speaker 4 (31:11):
No, no, Kathy, it's like this. I think I got
much more empathetic when my wife passed away.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Okay, I can't believe you just said that, Gary. Why
Because I say that all the time. I've always cared
about people, and even though I have this big personality,
I don't like to hurt people's feelings. After my husband,
Daryl died, I am so even more empathetic. I've just
never heard anyone expressed it what I feel.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
By a very clear watershed moment.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Yes, And then with.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Passing month and year, I feel like it became more
that way. I genuinely felt like I cared for people
and their well being much much more. And so then
you know, the experience of of sending women home after
I tried so hard to form a bond with them
on the show.
Speaker 7 (32:05):
Yeah, you know, that's just one example. My wife and
I used to watch Chicago Med and Chicago Fire, and
there's always about relationships. I sit down and watch that
show now and I have to turn away because it gets.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Me, okay, think about my wife, But I can't.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I honestly, you you got me on this one because
I've been pulling your chain all day and having fun
with you because you know I love you, but in
in the friendship friendship way. But I honestly, those are
the things I watch. I cannot a I can't watch
anything violent just because of my husband's death. But anything
(32:44):
that I watched I used to make fun, in good
fun of my husband, who cried and everything. He would
cry at sappy movies and I say, what is wrong
with you? It's Collywood, It's not for I mean, I
just we used to laugh about it. From the day
he's died, I am a crier that I never used
to be, and Susan always saying me, did you cry?
(33:05):
I just don't announce it. But I'm so much more
of a crier now than I ever was, it's.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
In touch with your emotions. Now I cry over Hallmark
the Clydesdale.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Come, Susan, you cry over changing the TV channel. Let's
just you, guys.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You both mentioned something that I heard.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You have more empathy than you ever had. I, however,
was cursed at birth, and I have so much empathy.
I would love to give some away because I take
it home with it. I could never be a nurse,
you know what I mean, when taking care of people.
I'd bring that home. But and I love that you
both feel that, and all people in the world should
(33:44):
recognize that quality that they do have within them, and
it would be a better place.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
One of the nice things I realized about this empathy
is it's not just about sorrow or suffering. But Kathy,
you can attest to this, Susan, I feel very empathetic
when someone succeeds nicely, they overcome a challenge, It's like
you want to celebrate for them and you feel so
(34:12):
good for them. And that's the other side of that coin. Yeah,
you get the joy of that.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
I think I think you just I can't speak for everyone,
but I feel emotions. As you just said, it's not
just the savage, but the the you know, ambulance. I
When something good happens to people, I'm just like, oh,
it's like I want to celebrate exactly. You just want to.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Bachelor Nation fans like me because I did Teresa's hair
when she asked me the girl it this way, I go.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Do you know how long I've been doing hair?
Speaker 3 (34:42):
That's not celebrating Susan.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
It was she had the date. You're a boss, way
way too bad.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Will you do my hair? If I get a date?
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Yes, you cauns go ahead and talk amongst yourself. So
I'll just sit over here in Indiana and wait.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
You know, Gary calling Gary, listen, we need a date
and a time. I actually need a date and a date.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
If you get it, I do, I get it, And
I can only help you out with half of that.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
You know what, I'll put a want to add out
he has.
Speaker 6 (35:20):
All.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
This has been great for you.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
We're so happy for you, and we're calling your daughters
assume as we're done, and no, no, I.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Got a month's speed done it. It's gonna do it
for me. This episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.
Thanks Gary, we really did enjoy having you. You gave
out some great advice. We knew you would. We are
both so happy. I'm speaking for Susan as well. We're
happy that you seemingly have found someone that, at least
(35:54):
right now, is making you happy and that makes us
both really happy.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Definitely, and I absolutely love talking to the two of you. Pleasure,
and this has been allmine at one time.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
I know we eat chat severally, but when you get
two on one, you're no. We're always laughing, We're always smiling.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Isn't that like a Golden Oreo sandwich.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Gary's the middle, Susan, you are not always the centerpiece. Susan,
Jeez Lowie and Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Nason and all our other fans.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Thanks so much for joining us today, and make sure
the follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new shows
coming out every week and you don't want to miss them.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I mean, come on, if you enjoyed listening to Gary
today as we did in having this chat, that we've
got more coming. So make sure you submit your questions
to us, your comments, your thoughts, uh, you know, your
guesses on who Gary's dating. We want to hear it.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
All.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
All you got to do is go to Bachelornation dot
com slash Golden Hour or dm us on Instagram at happy.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Hour and when we find app cats, we're telling, OK,
We're telling Oh yeah, Gary, your toes buddy. Make sure
to listen to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app, foor wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Have a great week, everybody,
Welcome back, everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Kathy and I are back to join you. We're so excited,
a don't we, Kat.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
We are always so excited to get back together. Be
sure to check out our latest episode. We've been having
so much fun answering all your questions and chatting with
all of your Bachelor Nation.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Faves, every single one of you. But today we have
one hell of a guest baby. He is very special
to us and he was the first ever Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Gary Turner, Hey, Gar.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Welcome, Hi you guys. It's so good to see you
and hear your voices again. Love you guys to pieces.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It's been a minutegare So before we even get started,
I have a bone to pick with you, if you
don't mind, Can I do that right off the bat.
I was so excited that it was you coming, because
let me start with this.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Can you define friendship?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Oh boy?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
The definition of friendship would be forgiving of someone who's
close to you, being tolerant of them, understanding them, staying
oh man, because now I'm gonnas myself.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
No no.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So, when you were on TV the other day, I
was watching and I sent you a text, well spoken, Gary,
you didn't send a response.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Joan was there, she sent a response. Anybody else but my.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Friend Gary sasn't. Don't feel badly. He doesn't answer me either.
He's very big now, he's very popular. He must have
a lot of dates. We're gonna, we're gonna figure out
why Gary.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Are you not read your text? Looking? He's looking at
this poem? Did I get it?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
Yeah? I missed it. It's not that I saw and ignore.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
All Right, we're gonna we're we're gonna, we're gonna grow you.
We're gonna grow you later, Gary, But right now, we
have so much stuff we want to dive into. So
we're gonna get things started, and we want to know
what you've been up to. Just give us, give us
the day in the life of Gary Turner. What's going
on with you?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Well, So it was a nice winter. It was the
first time that i'd been able to get away from
the Midwest winters. And I went to Mexico for a
couple of months, so an awful lot of time. And
then of course when I'm down there, my dad passed away,
so I had to rush back and you know, take
care of a bunch of estate things for him, and
(02:37):
I've been dealing with my siblings and the things that
come along with dealing with the estate.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I'm doing the same just as my head.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
Above water now on those things. And I'm back to
playing pick a ball three or four times a week,
and pretty much I'm really having a good time. I'm
enjoying myself.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
So waite, how was Mexico? Where were you? Do you
speak Banish? Tell me about Mexico.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
So I don't speak much Spanish, but the place I
was at was San Carlos, which is about halfway down
the Bahats on the west coast of the mainland, and
the nearest big city is there, Mascio. There's an airport there,
and the people there are so genuine and so kind
(03:22):
that if you try to communicate with them and use
a few Spanish words, they help you so much. There
was a little grocery story I went to all the time,
and there was a guy in the butcher shop. He
always wanted to practice his English with me, and I
always wanted to practice my Spanish. Oh god, it was nice,
it was scary.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
All you need to know is don dasti Albano. Albano.
Then you just need to say, maserve beer or you know, gusto,
uh me, gusta mucho, vino tinto. I love red wine.
I mean, any of those things will get you where
(04:01):
you want to go.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Just no bus.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
What made you go to Mexico?
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Gear, Well, so I have a cousin who has a
sailboat there, and so she had the boat, I rented
a condo. We shared, uh, quite a bit of time.
You know, we'd go to meals together. She was a
fairly accomplished mountain climber, and so I had a climbing partner.
I had a yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
We'll get to that.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
So it turned out to be a pretty good combination
for the two of us.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So your daughters came down for a short time. Angie
and Jenny came down for a bed.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
They did for the last five days.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
They came all they got from the whole winter. You
only had the girls for five days.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
They have jobs. I do not. I have no place
I got to be.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
All right, So you're back. You had a good time
in Mexico. We saw you at AFR. How was that
getting back and seeing Joan and Chalk and you know everybody.
How did that gel must have been a little surreal.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
Well, I tell you what, I really liked it because
the Friday morning breakfast I got to sit with Joan
for quite a while and we compared notes. Then Chalk
shows up, Clayton shows up, so we're all chitty chatting.
And then that night the same group plus Leslie sat
down for you know, a couple of drinks. And that
was a ball. Man. You just hear in everyone's different
(05:36):
perspective on what has happened and what's good, what's not
working out right, and so forth. I loved it.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, and there's no hard feelings.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I mean, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 6 (05:46):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Leslie looked great, didn't she She did?
Speaker 4 (05:50):
She did.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
I swear that girl gets younger every every time I
say her. It's like she looks younger. She's living the
good life. That's all I got to say.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah, But was it weird though? To be back there,
and you know, because you were the lead, you know,
was it weird or not?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
I wouldn't say weird. I was. I was thankful to
be there after a long hiatus, Uh, to get the
invitation back and get to see so many of the people.
I was. I was really thrilled with that, genuinely from
my heart. I loved it.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
All right, So are you dating anyone now? Gary? What's
going on anyone new in your life?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
There is there, there is something going on. It's a
little early to talk about, I think. So that's exciting.
That is exciting, And you can, uh, maybe get back
to me in a month or so and we'll talk
about I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Calling your ass again.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
I'm calling You can call him, but he doesn't answer
or return calls, so you're screwed.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You don't respond the messages. We're gonna we're gonna talk
about this further.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, Gary, is she local? I mean, just can we just?
Is she local?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
And I have a question, how did you meet?
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Tell you that yet?
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Was it tender?
Speaker 4 (07:03):
No? I don't even know what.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I bet it was on a pickleball court.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
No, it's a story, but it goes along with the
story of you know, how it's happened, how I feel
about it. But mostly I want to make sure that
it's as solid as it feels.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Because you talk about it, and then I will.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Give you a really nice story.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, Okay, So, Kathy, if it's not how he thinks
it's going then he'll be on paradise.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I think, yeah, there you go, Susan, when you have
a PhD in logic here, I'm just paying attention.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I see that sometime.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
So so well, certainly, Gary, we're happy for you if
I mean, of course, and seriously we hope that whoever
she is, that you are happy that you found love.
You know, Susan and Kat well you know strike wise
person's out there for.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
She won't let it go, Susan.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
She just never wanted the talk about. All right, so Gary,
you but you are still in Indiana, right, that's where
you are now? Yeah, still same house, same everything's good,
and your health is good. We have to you know
your health is good.
Speaker 4 (08:23):
It is you know. The The whole point is, as
long as I don't have symptoms, I don't have to
talk about treatments yet, and every six what tests I
you know that one test is going to be way
out of whack and get more out of whack as
time goes by. But quite honestly, I feel great. I
(08:44):
am enjoying life right now tremendously.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
And I told you Gary, but I'll bachination I have.
The kind of cancer you have is very rare. It
strikes one in a million men. And believe it or not,
I dated a guy who uh got your same diagnosis,
is about six months before you got it. And he
I know, right, I know too, and I know two
guys and whatever. But he is fine. Just to let
(09:11):
you know, he's he went through the treatment. He waited
like a year and a half and then he had
the treatment and he's fine. And the doctors have said.
Something else is you know you're gonna get hit by
a bus and die before this cancer gets you. So
bats our nation, Gary Turner is around for the long haul, Susan.
(09:31):
He's gonna return your message. Leave him alone, the poor guy.
All Right, we got to get into our question of
the day. We're gonna we're gonna play. So we're gonna
we have a question of the day, Gary, and we
want you to wait in on it. Okay, So to
(09:54):
the young listeners out there, of which there are many,
what advice did you give them when it comes to
facing big disappointments in life, like, you know, for example,
not getting their dream job or a relationship not working out,
those kinds of big things. What would your advice be?
Speaker 4 (10:13):
You know, that's a really good question. I think that.
My first reaction is to tell them that part of
the learning process in life is dealing with disappointment. And
it's why I wanted to be in a team sport
my daughters. I wanted them to be in team sport
because when you're defeated, when you lose, you learn so
(10:34):
much more, I think, than when you win. So look
at those things as an opportunity to improve yourself or
or you know, find new additional things to add to
your resume, or whatever the case may be. But look
at failure as a positive building block or what you
do next.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Garry, when your daughters.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
If your daughters had their first relationship not work out
and they had broken hearts, how did you Because you
don't want to hear that, you know, time heels, life
goes on. You'll remember this later. It'll help you grow
At that point you want to cry, don't.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Tell me that.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
But the thing is isan you know Jenny, you know
my oldest daughter. You know her pretty well. And the
huh you by the way, yeah that's.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
True is his carving copy.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Yeah. The first time she broke up with a serious boyfriend,
my wife and I were relieved. We didn't like the guy.
It's like good written good.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I do like your advice, though, Gary, because I do
think that, you know, it's it's it's not what we
win what we lose. It's not the things we get
right in life. It's the things we get wrong that
teach us the biggest lessons. So I think that's really
good advice.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Yeah. I think that it's close to home for me
as well, that the things that in the recent past,
the last two years, that I've done wrong have been
tremendous lessons for me on how to do better going forward.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah, and you know, I repeat mistakes sometimes now that
at this age I'm finally getting it. Care Gary, did
you know that you can't you know people you know
how close Susan and I are.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I don't know if you know this. Two years ago,
not quite two years ago, I broke my wrist exactly
the same way, fell backward on it, had the same surgery,
same hand. And the funny thing was, Susan has four
pins and a really large plate in her wrist. And
I said, of course you end out to me, Susan,
because I had two pins and a small plate screwed sorry,
(12:41):
two screws. Yeah, pins and plates is what they call it.
You know again, I got pins, Susan get screws again.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
You know, the two of you are not competitive on
who gets screwed the most.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Gary, this is a family show. I win, Susan, you
always win.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
No, I'm just saying, okay, now, all right.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
We're moving on.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
All right.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
So we have a collection of our most asked questions
by our listeners, and Gary, we're.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Going to give these listeners some advice.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
You're going to go first after I, Kathy and I
read them, and then we'll put our two cents in.
Sometimes Kathy and I, like earlier, when we did a
podcast the other day, we agreed on almost everything, which
is unusual.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Okay, So if we agree with you, great, If we don't,
that's great.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
So okay, all right you ready, yep.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
So what advice do you have for single parents introducing
their children to a new partner?
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Oh? Wow, what a Oh that's a good one. I
think the setting and the planning and the preparation are critical.
You pick a happy place. Uh, you make sure that.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
New world in case they freak out. You want to
be a problem.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
We don't care. But I think the important thing is
is being don't over talk, but be honest. You know,
if you start over explaining and saying too much, then
it looks suspicious. Kids are really intuitive, So one hundred
percent honest, but just don't overdo it.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
And don't you feel time like how long have you
been seeing someone before you do?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
The introduction matters? Or I think it's not necessarily.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Well, I think that depends. We're talking about a younger
single parent. Then you know with smaller children, right, I
guess yeah, And then I think yes, you have to
be protective of the kids. You have to make sure
that the partner that you're about to introduce has a
very high level of success in your relationship. You don't
want to be, you know, a revolving door. Right.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
I think you're right with you young children, but with
older children, Gary, we are you're a widower. I'm a widow.
I think that has a different set of rules for
for for us because adult children. Because with me, I
have not introduced my kids to one guy that I
(15:19):
was dating, and then if a guy's a friend, And
the reason is I feel, really I want my kids
to know that I'm never going to replace that I'm
not even attempting to replace their dad and you, I'm
sure replace your wife. Uh So, I try to have
those conversations with my kids before, you know, before I
(15:43):
even think about meeting having the meet a potential partner.
You are you that way?
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Well, I would push back on that a little bit.
My recent experience. The person that i've I've just started dating,
got to meet Angie and Jenny early on. We all
went to dinner. It was.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I'm gonna let you finish this conversation with Gary. I've
got Jenny on speed dial and Angie, so I'm going
to I'm gonna find out. I'll get back for the
end of this podcast with all the scoop for you.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
But with adult children, I don't think there's anything wrong
with it, as long as you feel a certain way
about this person, right right?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Do Wait a minute, do your kills? Gary? Wait? Do
you do? Angie and Jenny who you know, Susan, I
do know well, and we love them. They're lovely ladies.
But when they meet someone, because you know, you've had
a few girlfriends since the show, how do you say
to them you know or don't you do? You just
(16:47):
want you to meet?
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I do everything I can to not bias them because
after the fact, I don't even ask for opinions, but
it's important and significant to me how quickly they get
back to me and what they have to say. So
I'm not inviting anything, but when I get it, I
know I'm getting the straights true.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
So what if what if your daughter had to yeah, really?
What if your daughter said to you, yeah, really, They're like, god, Dad, please?
Speaker 2 (17:16):
We were instant friends though, Jenny.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
That's we were. We were. But my question is, Gary,
what if Jenny Nanjie called you and said, I'm just
going to use the name Kathy Susan Kathy Sue. That's
that's your data. Kathy Sue, Kathyue, and and Jenny and
Angie call you and say, Dad, what the hell are
(17:40):
you thinking? Are you going to still go out with
Kathy Sue?
Speaker 4 (17:45):
They would never say that. Well, what they would say
that would send me the same message is Dad, do
you know this person well enough? Dad? Do you have
you asked all the right questions? That's all they need
to do to be gracious, but send me the same message.
And because they'd never say those negative.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Things, can I ask you, Gary, what those questions would
be like that they were referring to?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Oh yeah, the things that I've learned to be a
better communicator about is is talking about long term plans
where someone would want to live. Financial security, you learned,
You learned, Yeah, slow, but I get there, you know too,
That's what we I'm a guy, so some of those
(18:35):
questions that are important and the answers are so yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
I don't know when do you know when to have
those questions?
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Though I have antecdotally. I think there's a certain rhythm
that you fall into with someone that you feel like
you click with. And when you feel that rhythm, bringing
hard topics up is very easy. It's amazingly easy. I
had a really nice experience this weekend. She and I
(19:08):
spent some time together and we started talking on the sofa,
and an hour and a half later, we're at my island,
both of us eating ice cream out of the same container.
I love this and we didn't even realize.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Wait, wit, Garry, what is it with you? What is
it with you? You share a milkshake with Teresa, you
have a cup of ice cream. I share with this car.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
He got me cotten candy.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
I mean, you know, there is such a thing as
let me buy you an ice cream cone. Look the
point is they were I'm just pulling your chain, you
know that communicating.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I think you're right.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I think if it were my if it were me
with my mom introduced me with somebody or something and
I didn't care for them, I would probably.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Say nothing.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Until I was asked and then say, you know it's
about you, and well.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
That's but Susan, you're an adult. Think about your daughter.
They are adults too. But like my my kids, my
kids and Gary, when I say these things like what
the hell are you thinking that, I don't really think
your daughters would ever say that. I'm just the gist
is what I was after your Your daughter's polite. I'm polite.
I would never say that either.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
It's just you don't even need to say those things.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
He knows that right, So, but I will say my
children would say to me Mom. My kids would be
polite but direct and say Mom, I don't I don't
know what you're thinking. I know you're lonely, or I
know you'd like to find someone, or whatever. They would say,
but I think you need to get to know this
(20:46):
guy better before we spend any more time with him,
and that would help you.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Have you met my sons why.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, why what would your kids have been?
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Really?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
What do you think? Thanks?
Speaker 6 (21:01):
Son?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
What were you thinking? Wow? Okay, next question.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
All right, I have. The question I have is how
do you go because I deal with this again like
you do, Gary, how do you go about supporting yourself
while also supporting your children after the loss of their parent,
your spouse.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
Oh, Kathy, that's how I struggle. Yeah, it's we just
metaphorically joined hands and wouldn't allow the others to sink
too far. And in that circle, it wasn't just my
daughter's but also my granddaughters. They played such a big role.
(21:49):
My oldest granddaughter, Peyton was only fifteen at the time,
and when the family got together at the house and
everyone was ready to leave, Peyton looked at me and
she goes, Paul, I'm not leaving. You can't be in
this house by yourself this week. And it's like, oh,
I got it. Was like that's the kind of support,
(22:12):
that quiet, happy, supportive thing that people do when they're
a close family. Yeah. So that's the best thing I got.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I for me, I mean, my grandchildren one wasn't even
born and the other one was not even three. They
were babies. But I just you know, it's still my
kids have gotten How long has it been for you,
Gary since your wife died?
Speaker 4 (22:39):
This coming July, it will be eight years.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Okay, so I just had my sixth anniversary. It feels
I think my kids still your kids were older, we have.
Some of your kids were older. My kids were in
their early thirties. So so it's still hard though, I mean,
I have to be honest, it's still hard.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
We support each other, children, parents. Everybody has their own
way of mourning and.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
For loss, but you're there together and you touch base
all the time that you happen.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Now, there's there's unspoken communication at times, at certain times
of the year, certain little events where we just look
at each other and we go, oh, we know she's
looking down, and because we all think the same thing
at those moments.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, yeah, well we.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Do times sometimes I'm sure you say, mom will be
cracking up right now. Oh yeah, squashing that one.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I gotta I have to tell you, I'm not I
don't know what I think about reincarnation. But another topic.
But my newest granddaughter, who will be two in April.
Of course, so she was not alive, but she literally
has my husband. Her middle name is Daryl, my husband's name.
And she has his eyes, not just the color. My
(23:58):
daughter and my been had the same colors, but her
eyes are exactly my husband's. But the thing that and
she gets me every time my husband used to say
like he'd see something, he'd smile and you go wow
all the time it was wow. My my granddaughter does
it all the time. And I just know that, you know,
(24:19):
I just feel like that is nice.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Yeah, awesome, So.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
I feel like, but you know, I agree with you, Gary,
it's great. It's great advice that just marking those times
and feeling it together and just knowing that, as you said, Susan,
we all grieve differently, but we all we all.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
In the case of a Divorceee, you're still not going
to introduce your children until it's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
You're not.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
It's not replacing a father, but when you have adult children,
it's it's a whole different Yeah.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Picture, if you will. Okay, we have another one.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
What advice do you have for those entering their golden
years that struggle with aging, whether it be mentally managing
their physical bodies, changing, et cetera. What challenges do you
think come with aging that you think people don't expect
or talk about.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Oh my god, go gety go there are I mean,
I was shocked.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I think that one of the things that strikes me
is the challenge of getting good sleep. You get up
and down to the bathroom three or four times a night,
and that causes the next day to be just a
touch more groggy than it should be. The aches and
pains of staying physically fit. Okay, so you decide that
(25:53):
you don't want to go to the gym, or you
don't want to go to pick a ball, you've wasted away.
But when you do those things, you have to accept
the fact that you're going to hurt a lot of
the time.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
It's a lot.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Yeah, that's not Susan.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
There's just like Atlas over there, she pumps on.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
She doesn't nobody can compare to this one, but.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
She's the exception.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
No, wait a minute, wait is that great?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Things easier?
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Wait, it's true, I've fed my share. Let me just say, Gary,
I think, uh that working out everything you just said, like,
sometimes things hurt. But you know what, if we're working
out and you're after the age of thirty, you start
losing muscle mass, right, So if we're maintaining or just
losing slightly. We're ahead of the game.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Yeah, that's true. You know, from another angle, a slightly
different thing is training your your mind to remain nimble. Yes,
this is a simple example. But I was gone to
Mexico for two months. I came back, go to shady
nook next door to say hi to friends, and there's
(27:04):
this momentary what was his name again? Because I haven't
seen it once, and it's like the memory just is
a little slower than it used to be. And I
really hate that.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I know, good friends, my friend mind's like a complete crawl.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Okay, go ahead, Gary, you what you went to friends?
Speaker 4 (27:23):
What?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
So?
Speaker 4 (27:25):
You want to hold your friends tight, you want to
honor them, and you want to make sure that you
maintain those relationships, because I think that's important as you
get older and you just now and then forget people's names.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
But let me just say I have two things to say.
Number one, who are you talking to right now? It's
a little mental challenge for you. Who are you talking to?
That That one wasn't again he's struggling there. And then
that other that other zip I would say, Gary, that
one of the things that you're your You haven't mentioned,
but you're sort of mentioning it is. As we get older,
(27:59):
some people fall into isolation, and that loneliness the isolation,
so it takes more work. As we get older, we
have to get out, make new friends, have activities, because
if we don't, the slide down is a whole lot faster.
I think.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, shared with the world.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
That was our message coming off of that show, the
first ever show. What we felt was it isn't over. Everybody,
life is not over. Keep moving, get out. It's full
of possibilities.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
I mean, we didn't get the guy what guy?
Speaker 3 (28:39):
What guy? The Oh you mean the guy that gave
away gifts to everyone but me? Oh that guy garrig
You need my address to send me something because you
know I'll send.
Speaker 4 (28:49):
It to you.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
We love you, We love you.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Yeah, we really are. We pull your chain, I put
your chain, but we are genuinely happy for you.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Really does she realize she has to meet us?
Speaker 3 (29:05):
Oh yeah, that comes I'm told.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
I think it would be fun.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Oh yeah, there's been I can't wait a second. Gary,
you did, and I'm putting it out to vaccinations, so
you can't deny it. Susan, back me up. On this Gary,
did you or did you not say you were going
to have a bunch of us out to go out
on your boat?
Speaker 6 (29:23):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (29:24):
Yes he did past ten a.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Hund No, that is an open invitation.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
We need, definitely, we need, we need, we need a
date and a time, Carrie, yep.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
And everybody shows up and we party like crazy. That
would be a very popular event here man. Yes, it
would totally renewed the celebrity status. It an amp up
like you would not believe.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Listen, will you make me a drink? Because I made
you vodka Cranbery on the show? Will you make me
a drink?
Speaker 4 (29:54):
I absolutely would? Okay, I of course absolutely would.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
And I'll cook always.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Yeah, Oh my god, that'd be awesome. Well, you know.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
You got to make them plain.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
But Garret, how grateful are you to this day of
having this happen in your life, having that opportunity, I mean,
did it not change so many things?
Speaker 4 (30:16):
I have expressed that gratitude many times, many different ways,
to many people. Granted, the whole experience wasn't all one
hundred percent great, but my personal development, the things that
I've been able to do, the fun I have being
(30:37):
around people, Oh god, it's it was amazing and it
still is amazing. I actually love going through Indianapolis Airport
because it's still like everybody knows who I am and
it's all fun.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
And did you learn anything that you didn't know about yourself?
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Yes? And that question is answered before and it's an
easy one. I didn't know I was so easy to
cry about stuff. I know.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Wait a minute, you, wait a minute, you didn't know.
I'm being serious. You didn't know that you were a crier?
Speaker 4 (31:11):
No, no, Kathy, it's like this. I think I got
much more empathetic when my wife passed away.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Okay, I can't believe you just said that, Gary. Why
Because I say that all the time. I've always cared
about people, and even though I have this big personality,
I don't like to hurt people's feelings. After my husband,
Daryl died, I am so even more empathetic. I've just
never heard anyone expressed it what I feel.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
By a very clear watershed moment.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Yes, And then with.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Passing month and year, I feel like it became more
that way. I genuinely felt like I cared for people
and their well being much much more. And so then
you know, the experience of of sending women home after
I tried so hard to form a bond with them
on the show.
Speaker 7 (32:05):
Yeah, you know, that's just one example. My wife and
I used to watch Chicago Med and Chicago Fire, and
there's always about relationships. I sit down and watch that
show now and I have to turn away because it gets.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Me, okay, think about my wife, But I can't.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I honestly, you you got me on this one because
I've been pulling your chain all day and having fun
with you because you know I love you, but in
in the friendship friendship way. But I honestly, those are
the things I watch. I cannot a I can't watch
anything violent just because of my husband's death. But anything
(32:44):
that I watched I used to make fun, in good
fun of my husband, who cried and everything. He would
cry at sappy movies and I say, what is wrong
with you? It's Collywood, It's not for I mean, I
just we used to laugh about it. From the day
he's died, I am a crier that I never used
to be, and Susan always saying me, did you cry?
(33:05):
I just don't announce it. But I'm so much more
of a crier now than I ever was, it's.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
In touch with your emotions. Now I cry over Hallmark
the Clydesdale.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Come, Susan, you cry over changing the TV channel. Let's
just you, guys.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You both mentioned something that I heard.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You have more empathy than you ever had. I, however,
was cursed at birth, and I have so much empathy.
I would love to give some away because I take
it home with it. I could never be a nurse,
you know what I mean, when taking care of people.
I'd bring that home. But and I love that you
both feel that, and all people in the world should
(33:44):
recognize that quality that they do have within them, and
it would be a better place.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 4 (33:51):
One of the nice things I realized about this empathy
is it's not just about sorrow or suffering. But Kathy,
you can attest to this, Susan, I feel very empathetic
when someone succeeds nicely, they overcome a challenge, It's like
you want to celebrate for them and you feel so
(34:12):
good for them. And that's the other side of that coin. Yeah,
you get the joy of that.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
I think I think you just I can't speak for everyone,
but I feel emotions. As you just said, it's not
just the savage, but the the you know, ambulance. I
When something good happens to people, I'm just like, oh,
it's like I want to celebrate exactly. You just want to.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Bachelor Nation fans like me because I did Teresa's hair
when she asked me the girl it this way, I go.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Do you know how long I've been doing hair?
Speaker 3 (34:42):
That's not celebrating Susan.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
It was she had the date. You're a boss, way
way too bad.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Will you do my hair? If I get a date?
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Yes, you cauns go ahead and talk amongst yourself. So
I'll just sit over here in Indiana and wait.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
You know, Gary calling Gary, listen, we need a date
and a time. I actually need a date and a date.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
If you get it, I do, I get it, And
I can only help you out with half of that.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
You know what, I'll put a want to add out
he has.
Speaker 6 (35:20):
All.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
This has been great for you.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
We're so happy for you, and we're calling your daughters
assume as we're done, and no, no, I.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Got a month's speed done it. It's gonna do it
for me. This episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.
Thanks Gary, we really did enjoy having you. You gave
out some great advice. We knew you would. We are
both so happy. I'm speaking for Susan as well. We're
happy that you seemingly have found someone that, at least
(35:54):
right now, is making you happy and that makes us
both really happy.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
Definitely, and I absolutely love talking to the two of you. Pleasure,
and this has been allmine at one time.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
I know we eat chat severally, but when you get
two on one, you're no. We're always laughing, We're always smiling.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Isn't that like a Golden Oreo sandwich.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Gary's the middle, Susan, you are not always the centerpiece. Susan,
Jeez Lowie and Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Nason and all our other fans.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Thanks so much for joining us today, and make sure
the follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new shows
coming out every week and you don't want to miss them.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I mean, come on, if you enjoyed listening to Gary
today as we did in having this chat, that we've
got more coming. So make sure you submit your questions
to us, your comments, your thoughts, uh, you know, your
guesses on who Gary's dating. We want to hear it.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
All.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
All you got to do is go to Bachelornation dot
com slash Golden Hour or dm us on Instagram at happy.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Hour and when we find app cats, we're telling, OK,
We're telling Oh yeah, Gary, your toes buddy. Make sure
to listen to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app, foor wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Have a great week, everybody,
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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