September 19, 2025 • 35 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re getting real as we dish out some tough advice! Sometimes you just need a firm push to do what’s best for you, and today’s episode is definitely delivering that. We kick things off with our question of the day: What do you think settling in a relationship looks like and is it always destined for failure? Then, we dive into your questions! If you’ve ever struggled with crippling shyness or delivering a much-needed rejection to a guy who just can’t take a hint, today’s episode is for you. Plus, we end with a new segment: Girl Chat, where we discuss something impacting women of all ages. Today, we’re chatting about body changes and breaking down the myths women have been told about their bodies. We also discuss body image and healing our insecurities, so please listen with caution. Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us today. We're so excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Always got the always and if you haven't done it yet,
now is the time. Follow our podcast so you never
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Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, it's super important that you follow the podcast so
that you get notified every time there's a new episode. Also,
while you're there, please leave us a review, let us
know your.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Love it, and make sure to check out all of
our past episodes. You couldn't believe who We've had one
here and we've been having so much fun talking to
your Bachelor Nation favorites and answering your questions. So keep
them coming to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Okay, Susan, we're just going to get right into it
today with the question of the day. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm ready?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
All right? What do you think settling in a relationship
looks like? Do you think settling is always destined for failure?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
When you say the word always, that changes it. Not
always sometimes, especially at our age, you know the things
that you can tolerate, like not everybody's going to be
perfect anymore. We're not looking for the husband or the
father to be of our new children that we're going
(01:32):
to have in our first house. It's a different look
for me at this age. And yes, I guess people
would say settle because of some things I do and
vice versa. Yeah, how do you.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Feel, Well, I kind of agree with you in that settling.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
It really does love how she says, I kind of
agree with you.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Well, I don't want. I don't want your head to
swell when you say settling. At our age, we know
that there's always compromise in a relationship. I think for me,
I think people make the mistakes sometimes of thinking, especially
when they're younger, that compromise is settling and they're not
the same thing. But for me, the difference is settling
(02:19):
is going against your core beliefs, your core wants and needs.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Your checklist if you will, selling is it doesn't all
have he doesn't have everything that I really wanted.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well no, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying, because
nobody has everything that I that you want or I want.
That would be you know, mister perfect, and I you know,
if he's out there, please, you know, reach out to
me at Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour. But
that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that there there
are certain things that I will not budge on. And
(02:55):
and when I was younger, for example, if the guy
didn't look a certain way, I would have said, well,
I'll settle for him. I'll you know that settling in
a younger When you're younger, you settle, That's how you
define it. For me, settling would be if I now,
(03:16):
if I dated a man who did not have integrity,
I will never date a man who does not have integrity,
And if I did, I would be settling and I'll
never do that. So I think it looks different. I
think when you're younger, settling is is has a different meaning.
But I will compromise. I think, yeah so, and I
(03:39):
happen to agree. The word settling when you're much younger
is totally different than when you're older. Yeah, I mean,
they just mean different things. I don't think that settling
is always destined for failure depending on what what you're
settling what, Yeah, I mean, these are Life is fluid, right,
(04:01):
We change, we mature, couples hopefully grow together. Sometimes they
grow apart, and it has nothing to do with quote
unquote what they settled for it.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know, sometimes I think as I read this, could
it be I've always wanted somebody that loved me unconditionally,
and you're going to settle because he loves you, but
you're not as much in love with him, Like that's settling.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Loves that's settling.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, I don't do that.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I mean, I've got to be head over heels.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, But I do think that relationships. I think relationships.
I mean, that's a big bucket of things that break
up relationships. But I don't think settling. If you're younger
and you you know, you get with a guy who
isn't in the profession that you, you know, I want
to marry a doctor, lawyer. I think those are superficial
(05:02):
things that change day to day and no one cares.
But I think if you settle, for example, if if
you not you Susan. But if somebody falls in love
when they're young and they the guy cheated on them,
for example, and then they say, you know what, I
love Johnny. I don't know my poor son in law.
I'm always using his name. Uh, Yeah, that's an easy one.
(05:26):
I love you Johnny, I love you Sam. And Sam
has said, you know, how how apologetic can he be?
It will never happen again?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
If it happens again and you settle, well, it's settling
if you If so, that's if you go to the beginning.
If you say, I will never date, I will never
get in a serious relationship with a man who cheated
on me. If that's one of my core beliefs, right,
and I but I'm so in love with Sam that
I think I'm the BEA's niece. He'll never cheat on me,
(05:59):
and then he does, I've settled, right, I've gone against
my core belief and so that may blow up in
my face. That's just how I look at it. I
think it depends on how big the settle is. That's
what we said.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Before, exactly what it is you're settling.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So, Susan, could you help me find the guy so
I can decide whether I'm willing to settle or not.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
All right, now it's time to get to our listener
write in. I'm going to start us off today, Okay,
Hailey rights, Hello, Kathy and Susan. First of all, I
am a big fan of both of us. So I
am twenty one years old, and most of my friends
have or had boyfriends already or talking to guys, and
(06:41):
some of my friends are shyer than I am. I
have tried some dating apps in the past, but I've
always ended up deleting them because I never ended up
talking to guys. I don't really get out that much,
regardless if it's with my friends or by myself. I
was just wondering if you guys have any advice for
(07:01):
me on how I should get out more or something
like that. Kathy, can I answer this for you. I
know what you're going to say, join a meet up, join.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Again, I love you that as part of what I
was going to say. We definitely know each other Susan,
but actually, you know what I was going to say.
First thing is Hayley, I find it very interesting that
you say most of my friends have or had boyfriends
already or at least talking to guys, and some of
(07:32):
my friends are shyer than I am. And then well,
I think that's interesting that you say that because I think,
based on what you've written or you're exceptionally shy, and
so I think before you put the cart before the horse,
and that is before you jump into clubs and things
which are going to be impossible for you to do
because you're so shy. I would work on bringing yourself
(07:57):
out a little bit, a little bit at a time.
Can do you imagine being as shy as she is
and going on a dating app to meet someone you've
never met.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
This is what I'm reading. She ends up deleting them
because she never ends up talking to guys. So if
somebody messages her, Hailey, are you not responding? Is that?
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's what I'm saying. Can you imagine if you're that shy,
it's hard enough to go on a date right with
someone you don't know, Imagine being really shy and having
to talk with them on the phone. I mean, Haley,
give yourself a break. Here. What I would tell you
to do is find you. Here's my advice to you.
(08:37):
Go find your friends, the girl you know, the girlfriends
that you have, and hang out with them in small
groups with their boyfriends, some with their boyfriends, some not,
and just get used to being around guys. So use
your friends as a gateway to help you learn how
to navigate dating and.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Or maybe do a road trip. A trip like Sign
twenty one. So it's a group thing you go. Maybe
it's singles, maybe not. But you have people chaperone, if
you will, a tour guide. And I love you to
the world.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And you just told you know what you just told her.
You just told her.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Listen, We're not going to start with lessons on how
to float or kick your legs. We're going to take
you up on the twenty meter board and have you
do a dive.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
That is not going on the twenty meeting board. You're
going on a tour with a group of people that.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You can't even talk to guys on the internet. You
think she's going to get out and take a trip.
I think you've lost your mind. Really no, it's a
great way to meet people. I'm not disagree.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It's a great way. You're on your own. Yet you
still have the security of being in a group.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
She doesn't know anyone, the girl.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Is that's nobody does when you go on a group trip.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Oh okay, you know what I mean. Bachelor Nation, you
guys to write in on this one. I think she's
got to take baby steps, and the baby step is
not going off to you know, Ethiopia.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Don't say it's not that's your opinion. That's only your opinion.
It's I'm a definite not well, Haley, I'm on your team,
and I think, sweet girl, you I get it. I'm
not shy. Susan's not shy. In case you didn't notice,
neither one of us is shy. But I think you
got to take a little step with your friends, go
out and just try to be a little more talkative,
(10:37):
take a baby step towards Uh. It's hard, but it's
only hard, Haley until you get out and try it.
And you say, Haley that you don't get out that much,
regardless whether it's with your friends or by yourself. Your
first goal is to get out a little bit more.
That's right. Whether it's go to church or go to
go to like you're saying, an activity, or join some
(10:59):
kind of a club.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, but don't jump off a twenty meter board.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I don't want a trip, but I do think. Just
call me out. I'll go with you.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I'm saying, let me just say when you when you ask,
Hayley real quickly before we move on, how should I
get out more? You know how you do it, Haley.
You do it and you'll be scared, but it'll get easier.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
That's how you might not even be fun the first time. Well,
you know, let's be a little more positive. Maybe I
don't want her to give up after trying once. It'll
get better every time, and you'll get a little more
confidence in yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And let us know, Haley, we'll want to hear about this.
We hope you get out.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I want to hold your hand, Kathy.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Well, and we're a big fan of you.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Haley.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Twenty one is tough. Give yourself some grace. Girlfriend, It's
going to get easier. Just take it a step at
a time.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Thanks for reaching out to us.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Okay, let's move on anonymous rights. Hi, ladies, I need
to know if I'm overreacting or just some thoughts. In general.
I work with this guy for context, I'm twenty six
and he's twenty four. I work mornings and he works nights.
We usually see each other for barely an hour. We
(12:19):
banter all the time, but just shoot the shit at work.
We hit it off great, but it's just flirty banter.
In my opinion, I kept stating in general that I
just wanted friends to go out with and hang with
because I moved here last year and don't know many people.
He eventually gave me his number like two weeks later
and we started texting. He made it known that he
was attracted to me and that he wanted to hang
(12:41):
out this upcoming week. We ended up texting not stop
for like four days straight, but he just kept coming
off as flirty and I wasn't giving in to any
of it, strictly giving friendship vibes on my end. I thought, oh,
let's keep an open mind, but it just seemed like
the more we texted, he making it known he was
(13:01):
super into me. I figured the night out would be
a quote date to him. It didn't end up happening.
He started making it seem sexual and like he just
wanted to bang, and so I made it clear I
just wanted to be friends and I'm not looking for
anything serious. He then said, oh, so it seems like
we're on the same page and said, let's just take
(13:23):
it day by day and see what happens, meaning if
we hang and it happens, then.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
So be it.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I feel played, I feel like an object. I made
this all clear and said I don't think we should
be friends anymore, because I thought he genuinely wanted to
be friends. He ended up apologizing and saying he was
high all night and wanted to be friends and was
like eighty percent joking. I feel icky. We were vibing
so well, you were sorry that was editorializing and I
(13:54):
was excited for the friendship. Am I being dramatic? We
see each other at work and he tries to talk
to me and tell to me occasionally, but I'm a
bit uncomfortable and bummed. I know it was just him
making comments and nothing more, so am I in the wrong?
But at the same time, it made me feel super
weird and like he wasn't coming with good intentions. It
just felt like zero to one hundred.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
What do you think? I have mixed feelings each paragraph?
I thought another way. In the beginning, it was some
people might call it flirting, but it was just banter.
And when a man notices that a woman's giving him attention,
that's a normal process. And then you're exchanging numbers. So
(14:40):
I think you were taken back by all the texting
and such, but that's maybe you should have said it
in the very beginning. But then she thought, well, maybe right,
And then he did apologize he was out of line.
He got too carried away and was still willing to
just be friends and get to know each other. Because
(15:01):
you don't know, sweetheart, you might have liked the guy
who knows he came on a little strong, but unfortunately,
and you know, I've been accused of the same thing.
Like I'm giving somebody attention. They think I'm flirting with
them and I'm not. I just want to have somebody
to laugh with, or you know. So I get what
she's saying.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But so I'm agreeing with you. Mostly I agree with you.
I think she should have set it up front, but.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I have nobody to hang out with.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, I'm looking for a friend, but that's okay. And then,
like you said, she was going to keep an open mind.
Here's where I here's where it goes a little off
for me when he started making it sexual. And he
then said, so it seems like we're on the same
page and said, let's just take it day by day
and see what happens. That was her opportunity to say,
(15:55):
I just want to be friends. I think she feels
played because he was like, hey, maybe it'll turn into
sexual something sexual that.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Was, or maybe it would turn into something a little
more than but.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
She says she feels played. So I'm I'm seeing a
little disconnect here. All you had to say, Anonymous, was
you shouldn't feel played. You should have made your intentions
very clear and then and you didn't. So you know,
he's a guy, and we all know guys do what
guys do. Unfortunately, and he did apologize. But here's the thing.
(16:33):
When he says he was high all night, yeah, a little,
that's a little bit of a flag. But then he
says he wanted to be friends and was eighty percent joking,
which you know eighty percent.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
What that statement told me was he is interesting. He is,
and he'll back down and let you come to I
think she's being a little bit dramatic, but she's also
new to this town, right, she doesn't know many people,
and that's scary. She's being careful. I get it.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I'm saying I think I don't I don't. You know me.
I'm always like to female power and all that. But Anonymous,
I've got to say, you know, I don't care if
he's high, I don't care if he's eighty percent serious.
I don't try to put the moves on you. All
you had to say was Hey, Johnny, I'm I'm slow
(17:23):
your role. I'm in this for a friendship. And if
it felt like it was zero to one hundred, girlfriend,
it's because you didn't apply the brakes so.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And you initiated the banter like well, I don't know
who initiated, but you did. You look like you were
having fun together. Let's take it outside of work and
see if we still have fun. And he's an idiot
for starting to get all that, you know, you know whatever,
I don't, but I don't think you should be all uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Here's where I would take it anonymous. If you if
you are interested in having it as a friend, then
I would say to them, hey, let's put all this
behind us. You know we weren't to Yeah, let's start.
I'd love to be your friend. Let's let's go out
and get a cheeseburger, whatever it is that you know
you'd want to do. Give out the friend vibes, you know,
(18:09):
talk about friend stuff and see if you can make
a friend out of this. Because you are new to
the town and he could become a good friend of yours.
So I'm wishing you well. I hope that you make
a good friend from him, and I also hope that
you're more clear with the guys the next time if
you're really only if she's friendship. I mean, I understand,
(18:29):
but it's up to us as women to say to
a guy if he's put in the moves always. I
don't care at any age, Susan. And you know, I've
just been through this with a guy who is very
interested in me and I only see him as a friend,
and I've had to tell him three times and that's
on me, and.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I think that he keeps hoping for more than hoping me.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
He can hope, you know what, As as my ex
father in law used to say, you can wish in
one hand and shit in the other and see what
fills up.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
First, all right, I'm excited about this next one. Before
we move on, we actually have an update from one
of our listeners. Are you so excited?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I'm so excited?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
All right? Okay, So hi ladies. I don't know if
you remember that this time last year I reached out
for advice because I was so nervous about moving in
with my boyfriend. I was so independent and happy living
on my own. Well, I'm appreciative of that time. I
(19:31):
had with myself. It's been a year living with my
boyfriend and it's been great. By the way, I am
a girl that was asked in the episode. I laughed
at the joke you said about me treating this like
jail time aka moving in with my boyfriend. I think
you said that goud. Ironically, that episode came out on
(19:55):
the day I moved out of my apartment. It's the universe.
I listened to it while I got ready to pack
up the last of my things and move. It was
so special hearing your advice at the time I needed
it most. I know. I got goosebumps. It's been a
wonderful year of growth for our relationship, and I think
(20:15):
there's an engagement coming soon.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I got goods bumps. Okay, wait, can I just interrupt
for one second if you're if you're listening, we just
need you to know that Susan's a wedding officio.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yes, ses, I'll be there anyways. Thank you for lightening
the mood with my concerns and helping me with my nerves.
I still miss my old girl apartment at times, but
this has been a wonderful move for me and my boyfriend,
and we are finally looking forward to future plans. Thank you,
(20:47):
Kathy and Susan. PS. Kathy is a star own Bachelor
in Paradise. Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Oh, I love this. I love this this. I don't
know about you, Susan. This update has made my day
because because you and I have so much fun doing
this podcast and dishing out advice, and as we always say,
we're not psychologists or anything, but we've lived a lot
of life and to get such a fabulous update, I'm
so happy for.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We don't think we just do it on air. We
talk about these things afterwards. We always are curious. I
wonder whatever happened with or I wonder if she hit
him with the bat, or I wonder if that was you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Susan. I'm so happy for you. I hope that there
is much I hope that there is a wedding in
your future.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Please let us go.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, and if Susan comes, I come. We come as
a team absolutely all right, we are going to move
into ready, Susan, We're gonna have some girl chat instead
of it, and we're doing this instead of a game.
So this should make you happy. This is this is
sort of like our golden spotlight.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Only.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
This segment is for women of all ages. Today, we're
talking all about bodily changes. We'll be giving off some
rapid fire advice. Okay, I'm gonna start us off for
the first prompt.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Most women are taught that your body only changes during
puberty and when you get pregnant. Have you seen your
body change over the years in the wood?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Come to bear shit.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
In the woods? I mean yeah, how much of I
mean not how much?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
What has the biggest.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Change been for you since let's call it not puberty,
let's go with menopause.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Oh my god, completely change. But what I was going
to say was we change our bodies everything every seven years.
It's no snake shedding our skins.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:41):
No, but we do. Our body chemistry changes. We are
constantly changing when it comes to our bodies. We definitely
have seen changes, some good, some bad, some you know
what I mean. That's life. Yeah, it's not just a puberty.
City is big true, because your boobs pop out and
(23:03):
you're you know, you get a period and all that.
Being a woman that is, and it's going to change continually.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I think that, Yes, I agree, but I do think
for those of you listening with with girls young and
daughters who are maybe in their twenties, thirties, forties, whatever.
I don't think there is enough conversation about how much
our bodies change after childbearing, years after menopause, and as
(23:34):
you say, it keeps changing. But the good news is
there are lots of things that we can do to
help us feel better. It's not necessarily I mean, everyone
knows you and I did those lower facelifts. That's about
making us feel better. But I'm talking about there's things
that there's things that we can do to make our
bodies feel better, and not just exercise. There's supplements, there's
(23:57):
all kinds of treatments that you can have exercising that
that will stave off, if you will, the bad parts
of getting older, because aging is not all fun and games, and.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
The most important part, like you said, and I'm going
to elaborate on it, Kathy, is knowing that this is normal.
Being educated, right what you started with, Most women are
taught that your body changes during puberty and then again
when you get pregnant, and then it stops the conversations.
My goodness, you're still growing taller, You're still growing wider
(24:34):
or thinner or it's just.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
But but I think the conversation is the three biggest
things are well birth of course, but puberty, pregnancy, and menopause.
And I think so little women I don't know feel
I don't feel this way, but I think women feel
shame sometimes because you know, they can't have children anymore,
and what they're not useful anymore. And I mean I've
(24:59):
talked to some women in their sixties. I didn't either
waistline went with menopause. You know what, I never got
a waste and.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
That is a body change. I mean, we can't control it.
I don't care how much you exercise. Your body changes.
And it's hormonal. All of this is hormones.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
But I will say I have to say one thing.
A lot of women on my inside, on my social media,
they'll write to me things like, wow, Kathy, you look great.
What's your what's your trick? And I'm going to say
it right here. There are no tricks, you know, Susan.
I work out, I lift weights, I power off five Yeah,
(25:38):
but I take I do it because it makes me
feel better, but it also helps me look better, keeps
my body, my bones.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Motion is lotion, right, And so I think some people
use menopause as an excuse to you know, sit down
in the chair and eat ice cream and in their
best days of behind them.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
If you have a child, the next on saying like, yes,
everything changes, you're hit with changes because the baby. Most
babies come through the canal. It's part of nature.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah. And you know what advice I have for those women,
be so grateful that you were able to bring you
and your partner were able to bring this miracle to life.
And again, eat well, get rest, work out. Your body's
going to change. It's about being healthy. It's about doing
(26:34):
the things that will make you feel good about yourself.
But you don't want the body so what it does.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
But that's that's okay, that's right.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And the letter comes after the letter B. That's right.
Expect it to change, and it's some things go back
to normal. Something stone. I mean, I am going to
tell you, uh, those.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Perky booths fall down to your waist, sign your pennies
and haven't brought back that's all.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah. Well, I was going to say deflated balloons, but
you know they still get the job done. You know,
I've never had a man turn away from me because
my boobs were not, you know, coming out of my neck.
So that's why.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
What are some unexpected changes that you noticed at any age,
like how you carry your weight, or did anything happen
that fell out of the blue, Like you shared with
us that when you were young you were heavier. Yes,
and that big change came when you made up your
(27:33):
mind and you started your walking and you're exercising and
you're extremely fit. But that came out of the blue, right,
what came out? You made up your mind I am
not going to be two hundred pounds.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yes, well it didn't come out. Yes, it sort of
came out a little bit, yes, it it. It came
out of the blue in that I decided made a choice,
You made a choice. I think unexpected changes are just
the ones you don't know about, Like, uh, you know
all women know this dryness during sex. I mean that
(28:06):
you know that was unexpected. I didn't think it was
going to happen quite as quickly as it did. But again,
there's lots of things you can do for that, so
there's ways around it. So I don't know unexpected. I
think it's everyone's responsible for educating themselves, don't you and
so if you if you're feeling these changes, I think
(28:27):
sometimes depression women feel depressed or.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
That that comes out of the blue sometimes too right,
the best days of their body, that's your chemistry and
you know the serotonin and.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
So yeah, yes, and I think I, I mean, it
didn't really happen for me. I but I already know
I'm a weirdo. I don't feel like my best days
are behind me. I feel like there's great days ahead
of me. I'm living great days. I've lived great days.
I think that is something that women. I wish more
women would be motivated to do what it takes to
(29:05):
feel better about themselves.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Does that make sense? This is a perfect question for you.
What advice would you give to young women struggling with
their body image, especially in today's world filled with ozempic
and AI.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Well, again, my advice is what I just said. First
of all, most of the pictures you see on social media,
everything's airbrushed. They've done everything they can to reconstitute a
picture to make that person look like Barbie. Uh and
(29:39):
and that's not reality. And my advice is, don't pay
attention to what you see on social media. As far
as ozempic and those things if you if you need ozempic,
I'm a purist. If you need ozempic, I think it's
for treat diabetes.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Right. Sisters are both on it right now. My sister
lost but she's no longer a diabetic and she said
that the doctor, are you going to take me off now?
He said no, no, that's what's keeping you from being it.
So it does help something.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
So but here's the thing. The question was women struggling
with their body image. I have a problem, and I
guess ozembic is never going to come to me and
offer me a brandale. But I don't subscribe to women
using drugs off label that have not been studied enough.
(30:31):
The studies are now coming out that not such a
good thing. So I feel like the advice is eat healthy,
work out, don't look for a quick fix for your body.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I have to call you out on something, girlfriend, and
it's because I love you and I tell you this often.
You still struggle with body image.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I know I do. What's your point?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
What what you're giving advice out? You need to follow
your own Mike absolutely amazing, and I'm not going to
say for your age, you look amazing if anything, you're
too skinny, but you pick out the flaws. Now, we're
here to give advice for people struggling like you. Yes,
by advice to tell them. The advice is try, I
(31:19):
try to be kind to myself. I have body dysmorphia.
You and I'm talking about this, so I'm saying, be
kind yourself. I try to look in the mirror and
say it's okay, it's okay, Kathy, you look okay, don't
And when you put a dress on and you see
the picture, how great you look going on Paradise. You
look fabulous in your dresses. Doesn't that like.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
It does help? But Paradise, that's a tough That was
a really tough one for me. And we've talked about this.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Because you're around twenty and thirty year old.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Well, these girls look like I mean, I love them
all dearly, but I was the only one not in
a bikini. Well some of the goldens were not. But
you know, body image is a real thing. I and
I think it's honestly susan worse worse for younger people
because they're so invested in AI and social media, And
(32:08):
what I want them to know is that's not real.
So I do the best I can. I work out,
I eat well. I try to tell myself, and that's
I try to self talk, and that would be my advice.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
You know. Also, we've come a long way since everybody
looked like twigg eat when I grew up, and now
they're full body models and way bigger.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
No, they call them Kirby, call them kurvy. That's the
label now curby.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Well, I don't care what the label is. But it's
okay to be a bigger or thicker, or you know,
full bodied. It's okay today.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I want beauty standards to be reflecting what women really
look like in real life. That but but I does
not go to get the fact. It does not negate
the fact that I want all women, men, children, everyone
to eat healthy, exercise, and and the goal should not
(33:17):
be to be skinny as a rail so you fit
into your size two's whatever. The goal should be to
feel good, to look healthy, to have energy, to be
able to move your body in a healthy way. So
I know I sound like a preacher here, but I
wish beauty standards. I don't want healthy.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I do that, but I also eat unhealthy.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Everyone does eat everyone does. But I'm saying it's it's
like everything in life moderation, and I don't like seeing
people using uh.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
The just for a quick fix, yes.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Because that's you know what, It's not going to work.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
But it has helped so many people, so I'm not
knocking it.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
No, no, no. Zeppych is a life changer for people
with diabetes wonderful, and it's a life changer for people
apparently who are overweight. But I would like to see
the world work at being better and.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Not judge people because of what they look like.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Do you think that's ever going to happen.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I hope so, But you know what, we're out of
time and that does it for today's episode of Bachelor
Happy Hours, Golden Hopp.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Well, thank you all so much for joining us. Be
sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we do have
new episodes coming out every week and you don't want
to miss even one.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
That's right. Make sure you submit your questions to us
and your comments and we love the feedback afterwards. And
that was a year ago. That was so awesome. You
can go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour,
or you can hit us up on social media at
Bachelor Happy.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Hour, Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to your podcasts untill
next time. Have a great week.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Mm hmm
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us today. We're so excited to be back.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Always got the always and if you haven't done it yet,
now is the time. Follow our podcast so you never
miss an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in
the podcast app and hit the follow button.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, it's super important that you follow the podcast so
that you get notified every time there's a new episode. Also,
while you're there, please leave us a review, let us
know your.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Love it, and make sure to check out all of
our past episodes. You couldn't believe who We've had one
here and we've been having so much fun talking to
your Bachelor Nation favorites and answering your questions. So keep
them coming to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Okay, Susan, we're just going to get right into it
today with the question of the day. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm ready?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
All right? What do you think settling in a relationship
looks like? Do you think settling is always destined for failure?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
When you say the word always, that changes it. Not
always sometimes, especially at our age, you know the things
that you can tolerate, like not everybody's going to be
perfect anymore. We're not looking for the husband or the
father to be of our new children that we're going
(01:32):
to have in our first house. It's a different look
for me at this age. And yes, I guess people
would say settle because of some things I do and
vice versa. Yeah, how do you.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Feel, Well, I kind of agree with you in that settling.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
It really does love how she says, I kind of
agree with you.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Well, I don't want. I don't want your head to
swell when you say settling. At our age, we know
that there's always compromise in a relationship. I think for me,
I think people make the mistakes sometimes of thinking, especially
when they're younger, that compromise is settling and they're not
the same thing. But for me, the difference is settling
(02:19):
is going against your core beliefs, your core wants and needs.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Your checklist if you will, selling is it doesn't all
have he doesn't have everything that I really wanted.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Well no, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying, because
nobody has everything that I that you want or I want.
That would be you know, mister perfect, and I you know,
if he's out there, please, you know, reach out to
me at Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour. But
that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that there there
are certain things that I will not budge on. And
(02:55):
and when I was younger, for example, if the guy
didn't look a certain way, I would have said, well,
I'll settle for him. I'll you know that settling in
a younger When you're younger, you settle, That's how you
define it. For me, settling would be if I now,
(03:16):
if I dated a man who did not have integrity,
I will never date a man who does not have integrity,
And if I did, I would be settling and I'll
never do that. So I think it looks different. I
think when you're younger, settling is is has a different meaning.
But I will compromise. I think, yeah so, and I
(03:39):
happen to agree. The word settling when you're much younger
is totally different than when you're older. Yeah, I mean,
they just mean different things. I don't think that settling
is always destined for failure depending on what what you're
settling what, Yeah, I mean, these are Life is fluid, right,
(04:01):
We change, we mature, couples hopefully grow together. Sometimes they
grow apart, and it has nothing to do with quote
unquote what they settled for it.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
You know, sometimes I think as I read this, could
it be I've always wanted somebody that loved me unconditionally,
and you're going to settle because he loves you, but
you're not as much in love with him, Like that's settling.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Loves that's settling.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, I don't do that.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
I mean, I've got to be head over heels.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, But I do think that relationships. I think relationships.
I mean, that's a big bucket of things that break
up relationships. But I don't think settling. If you're younger
and you you know, you get with a guy who
isn't in the profession that you, you know, I want
to marry a doctor, lawyer. I think those are superficial
(05:02):
things that change day to day and no one cares.
But I think if you settle, for example, if if
you not you Susan. But if somebody falls in love
when they're young and they the guy cheated on them,
for example, and then they say, you know what, I
love Johnny. I don't know my poor son in law.
I'm always using his name. Uh, Yeah, that's an easy one.
(05:26):
I love you Johnny, I love you Sam. And Sam
has said, you know, how how apologetic can he be?
It will never happen again?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
You know.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
If it happens again and you settle, well, it's settling
if you If so, that's if you go to the beginning.
If you say, I will never date, I will never
get in a serious relationship with a man who cheated
on me. If that's one of my core beliefs, right,
and I but I'm so in love with Sam that
I think I'm the BEA's niece. He'll never cheat on me,
(05:59):
and then he does, I've settled, right, I've gone against
my core belief and so that may blow up in
my face. That's just how I look at it. I
think it depends on how big the settle is. That's
what we said.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Before, exactly what it is you're settling.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
So, Susan, could you help me find the guy so
I can decide whether I'm willing to settle or not.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
All right, now it's time to get to our listener
write in. I'm going to start us off today, Okay,
Hailey rights, Hello, Kathy and Susan. First of all, I
am a big fan of both of us. So I
am twenty one years old, and most of my friends
have or had boyfriends already or talking to guys, and
(06:41):
some of my friends are shyer than I am. I
have tried some dating apps in the past, but I've
always ended up deleting them because I never ended up
talking to guys. I don't really get out that much,
regardless if it's with my friends or by myself. I
was just wondering if you guys have any advice for
(07:01):
me on how I should get out more or something
like that. Kathy, can I answer this for you. I
know what you're going to say, join a meet up, join.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Again, I love you that as part of what I
was going to say. We definitely know each other Susan,
but actually, you know what I was going to say.
First thing is Hayley, I find it very interesting that
you say most of my friends have or had boyfriends
already or at least talking to guys, and some of
(07:32):
my friends are shyer than I am. And then well,
I think that's interesting that you say that because I think,
based on what you've written or you're exceptionally shy, and
so I think before you put the cart before the horse,
and that is before you jump into clubs and things
which are going to be impossible for you to do
because you're so shy. I would work on bringing yourself
(07:57):
out a little bit, a little bit at a time.
Can do you imagine being as shy as she is
and going on a dating app to meet someone you've
never met.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
This is what I'm reading. She ends up deleting them
because she never ends up talking to guys. So if
somebody messages her, Hailey, are you not responding? Is that?
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's what I'm saying. Can you imagine if you're that shy,
it's hard enough to go on a date right with
someone you don't know, Imagine being really shy and having
to talk with them on the phone. I mean, Haley,
give yourself a break. Here. What I would tell you
to do is find you. Here's my advice to you.
(08:37):
Go find your friends, the girl you know, the girlfriends
that you have, and hang out with them in small
groups with their boyfriends, some with their boyfriends, some not,
and just get used to being around guys. So use
your friends as a gateway to help you learn how
to navigate dating and.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Or maybe do a road trip. A trip like Sign
twenty one. So it's a group thing you go. Maybe
it's singles, maybe not. But you have people chaperone, if
you will, a tour guide. And I love you to
the world.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
And you just told you know what you just told her.
You just told her.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Listen, We're not going to start with lessons on how
to float or kick your legs. We're going to take
you up on the twenty meter board and have you
do a dive.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
That is not going on the twenty meeting board. You're
going on a tour with a group of people that.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You can't even talk to guys on the internet. You
think she's going to get out and take a trip.
I think you've lost your mind. Really no, it's a
great way to meet people. I'm not disagree.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It's a great way. You're on your own. Yet you
still have the security of being in a group.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
She doesn't know anyone, the girl.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Is that's nobody does when you go on a group trip.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Oh okay, you know what I mean. Bachelor Nation, you
guys to write in on this one. I think she's
got to take baby steps, and the baby step is
not going off to you know, Ethiopia.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Don't say it's not that's your opinion. That's only your opinion.
It's I'm a definite not well, Haley, I'm on your team,
and I think, sweet girl, you I get it. I'm
not shy. Susan's not shy. In case you didn't notice,
neither one of us is shy. But I think you
got to take a little step with your friends, go
out and just try to be a little more talkative,
(10:37):
take a baby step towards Uh. It's hard, but it's
only hard, Haley until you get out and try it.
And you say, Haley that you don't get out that much,
regardless whether it's with your friends or by yourself. Your
first goal is to get out a little bit more.
That's right. Whether it's go to church or go to
go to like you're saying, an activity, or join some
(10:59):
kind of a club.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, but don't jump off a twenty meter board.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I don't want a trip, but I do think. Just
call me out. I'll go with you.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I'm saying, let me just say when you when you ask,
Hayley real quickly before we move on, how should I
get out more? You know how you do it, Haley.
You do it and you'll be scared, but it'll get easier.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
That's how you might not even be fun the first time. Well,
you know, let's be a little more positive. Maybe I
don't want her to give up after trying once. It'll
get better every time, and you'll get a little more
confidence in yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
And let us know, Haley, we'll want to hear about this.
We hope you get out.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
I want to hold your hand, Kathy.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Well, and we're a big fan of you.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Haley.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Twenty one is tough. Give yourself some grace. Girlfriend, It's
going to get easier. Just take it a step at
a time.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Thanks for reaching out to us.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Okay, let's move on anonymous rights. Hi, ladies, I need
to know if I'm overreacting or just some thoughts. In general.
I work with this guy for context, I'm twenty six
and he's twenty four. I work mornings and he works nights.
We usually see each other for barely an hour. We
(12:19):
banter all the time, but just shoot the shit at work.
We hit it off great, but it's just flirty banter.
In my opinion, I kept stating in general that I
just wanted friends to go out with and hang with
because I moved here last year and don't know many people.
He eventually gave me his number like two weeks later
and we started texting. He made it known that he
was attracted to me and that he wanted to hang
(12:41):
out this upcoming week. We ended up texting not stop
for like four days straight, but he just kept coming
off as flirty and I wasn't giving in to any
of it, strictly giving friendship vibes on my end. I thought, oh,
let's keep an open mind, but it just seemed like
the more we texted, he making it known he was
(13:01):
super into me. I figured the night out would be
a quote date to him. It didn't end up happening.
He started making it seem sexual and like he just
wanted to bang, and so I made it clear I
just wanted to be friends and I'm not looking for
anything serious. He then said, oh, so it seems like
we're on the same page and said, let's just take
(13:23):
it day by day and see what happens, meaning if
we hang and it happens, then.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
So be it.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
I feel played, I feel like an object. I made
this all clear and said I don't think we should
be friends anymore, because I thought he genuinely wanted to
be friends. He ended up apologizing and saying he was
high all night and wanted to be friends and was
like eighty percent joking. I feel icky. We were vibing
so well, you were sorry that was editorializing and I
(13:54):
was excited for the friendship. Am I being dramatic? We
see each other at work and he tries to talk
to me and tell to me occasionally, but I'm a
bit uncomfortable and bummed. I know it was just him
making comments and nothing more, so am I in the wrong?
But at the same time, it made me feel super
weird and like he wasn't coming with good intentions. It
just felt like zero to one hundred.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
What do you think? I have mixed feelings each paragraph?
I thought another way. In the beginning, it was some
people might call it flirting, but it was just banter.
And when a man notices that a woman's giving him attention,
that's a normal process. And then you're exchanging numbers. So
(14:40):
I think you were taken back by all the texting
and such, but that's maybe you should have said it
in the very beginning. But then she thought, well, maybe right,
And then he did apologize he was out of line.
He got too carried away and was still willing to
just be friends and get to know each other. Because
(15:01):
you don't know, sweetheart, you might have liked the guy
who knows he came on a little strong, but unfortunately,
and you know, I've been accused of the same thing.
Like I'm giving somebody attention. They think I'm flirting with
them and I'm not. I just want to have somebody
to laugh with, or you know. So I get what
she's saying.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But so I'm agreeing with you. Mostly I agree with you.
I think she should have set it up front, but.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I have nobody to hang out with.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, I'm looking for a friend, but that's okay. And then,
like you said, she was going to keep an open mind.
Here's where I here's where it goes a little off
for me when he started making it sexual. And he
then said, so it seems like we're on the same
page and said, let's just take it day by day
and see what happens. That was her opportunity to say,
(15:55):
I just want to be friends. I think she feels
played because he was like, hey, maybe it'll turn into
sexual something sexual that.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Was, or maybe it would turn into something a little
more than but.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
She says she feels played. So I'm I'm seeing a
little disconnect here. All you had to say, Anonymous, was
you shouldn't feel played. You should have made your intentions
very clear and then and you didn't. So you know,
he's a guy, and we all know guys do what
guys do. Unfortunately, and he did apologize. But here's the thing.
(16:33):
When he says he was high all night, yeah, a little,
that's a little bit of a flag. But then he
says he wanted to be friends and was eighty percent joking,
which you know eighty percent.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
What that statement told me was he is interesting. He is,
and he'll back down and let you come to I
think she's being a little bit dramatic, but she's also
new to this town, right, she doesn't know many people,
and that's scary. She's being careful. I get it.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I'm saying I think I don't I don't. You know me.
I'm always like to female power and all that. But Anonymous,
I've got to say, you know, I don't care if
he's high, I don't care if he's eighty percent serious.
I don't try to put the moves on you. All
you had to say was Hey, Johnny, I'm I'm slow
(17:23):
your role. I'm in this for a friendship. And if
it felt like it was zero to one hundred, girlfriend,
it's because you didn't apply the brakes so.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
And you initiated the banter like well, I don't know
who initiated, but you did. You look like you were
having fun together. Let's take it outside of work and
see if we still have fun. And he's an idiot
for starting to get all that, you know, you know whatever,
I don't, but I don't think you should be all uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Here's where I would take it anonymous. If you if
you are interested in having it as a friend, then
I would say to them, hey, let's put all this
behind us. You know we weren't to Yeah, let's start.
I'd love to be your friend. Let's let's go out
and get a cheeseburger, whatever it is that you know
you'd want to do. Give out the friend vibes, you know,
(18:09):
talk about friend stuff and see if you can make
a friend out of this. Because you are new to
the town and he could become a good friend of yours.
So I'm wishing you well. I hope that you make
a good friend from him, and I also hope that
you're more clear with the guys the next time if
you're really only if she's friendship. I mean, I understand,
(18:29):
but it's up to us as women to say to
a guy if he's put in the moves always. I
don't care at any age, Susan. And you know, I've
just been through this with a guy who is very
interested in me and I only see him as a friend,
and I've had to tell him three times and that's
on me, and.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I think that he keeps hoping for more than hoping me.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
He can hope, you know what, As as my ex
father in law used to say, you can wish in
one hand and shit in the other and see what
fills up.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
First, all right, I'm excited about this next one. Before
we move on, we actually have an update from one
of our listeners. Are you so excited?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
I'm so excited?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
All right? Okay, So hi ladies. I don't know if
you remember that this time last year I reached out
for advice because I was so nervous about moving in
with my boyfriend. I was so independent and happy living
on my own. Well, I'm appreciative of that time. I
(19:31):
had with myself. It's been a year living with my
boyfriend and it's been great. By the way, I am
a girl that was asked in the episode. I laughed
at the joke you said about me treating this like
jail time aka moving in with my boyfriend. I think
you said that goud. Ironically, that episode came out on
(19:55):
the day I moved out of my apartment. It's the universe.
I listened to it while I got ready to pack
up the last of my things and move. It was
so special hearing your advice at the time I needed
it most. I know. I got goosebumps. It's been a
wonderful year of growth for our relationship, and I think
(20:15):
there's an engagement coming soon.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I got goods bumps. Okay, wait, can I just interrupt
for one second if you're if you're listening, we just
need you to know that Susan's a wedding officio.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yes, ses, I'll be there anyways. Thank you for lightening
the mood with my concerns and helping me with my nerves.
I still miss my old girl apartment at times, but
this has been a wonderful move for me and my boyfriend,
and we are finally looking forward to future plans. Thank you,
(20:47):
Kathy and Susan. PS. Kathy is a star own Bachelor
in Paradise. Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Oh, I love this. I love this this. I don't
know about you, Susan. This update has made my day
because because you and I have so much fun doing
this podcast and dishing out advice, and as we always say,
we're not psychologists or anything, but we've lived a lot
of life and to get such a fabulous update, I'm
so happy for.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
We don't think we just do it on air. We
talk about these things afterwards. We always are curious. I
wonder whatever happened with or I wonder if she hit
him with the bat, or I wonder if that was you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Susan. I'm so happy for you. I hope that there
is much I hope that there is a wedding in
your future.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Please let us go.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, and if Susan comes, I come. We come as
a team absolutely all right, we are going to move
into ready, Susan, We're gonna have some girl chat instead
of it, and we're doing this instead of a game.
So this should make you happy. This is this is
sort of like our golden spotlight.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Only.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
This segment is for women of all ages. Today, we're
talking all about bodily changes. We'll be giving off some
rapid fire advice. Okay, I'm gonna start us off for
the first prompt.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Most women are taught that your body only changes during
puberty and when you get pregnant. Have you seen your
body change over the years in the wood?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Come to bear shit.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
In the woods? I mean yeah, how much of I
mean not how much?
Speaker 2 (22:21):
What has the biggest.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Change been for you since let's call it not puberty,
let's go with menopause.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Oh my god, completely change. But what I was going
to say was we change our bodies everything every seven years.
It's no snake shedding our skins.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (22:41):
No, but we do. Our body chemistry changes. We are
constantly changing when it comes to our bodies. We definitely
have seen changes, some good, some bad, some you know
what I mean. That's life. Yeah, it's not just a puberty.
City is big true, because your boobs pop out and
(23:03):
you're you know, you get a period and all that.
Being a woman that is, and it's going to change continually.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I think that, Yes, I agree, but I do think
for those of you listening with with girls young and
daughters who are maybe in their twenties, thirties, forties, whatever.
I don't think there is enough conversation about how much
our bodies change after childbearing, years after menopause, and as
(23:34):
you say, it keeps changing. But the good news is
there are lots of things that we can do to
help us feel better. It's not necessarily I mean, everyone
knows you and I did those lower facelifts. That's about
making us feel better. But I'm talking about there's things
that there's things that we can do to make our
bodies feel better, and not just exercise. There's supplements, there's
(23:57):
all kinds of treatments that you can have exercising that
that will stave off, if you will, the bad parts
of getting older, because aging is not all fun and games, and.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
The most important part, like you said, and I'm going
to elaborate on it, Kathy, is knowing that this is normal.
Being educated, right what you started with, Most women are
taught that your body changes during puberty and then again
when you get pregnant, and then it stops the conversations.
My goodness, you're still growing taller, You're still growing wider
(24:34):
or thinner or it's just.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
But but I think the conversation is the three biggest
things are well birth of course, but puberty, pregnancy, and menopause.
And I think so little women I don't know feel
I don't feel this way, but I think women feel
shame sometimes because you know, they can't have children anymore,
and what they're not useful anymore. And I mean I've
(24:59):
talked to some women in their sixties. I didn't either
waistline went with menopause. You know what, I never got
a waste and.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
That is a body change. I mean, we can't control it.
I don't care how much you exercise. Your body changes.
And it's hormonal. All of this is hormones.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
But I will say I have to say one thing.
A lot of women on my inside, on my social media,
they'll write to me things like, wow, Kathy, you look great.
What's your what's your trick? And I'm going to say
it right here. There are no tricks, you know, Susan.
I work out, I lift weights, I power off five Yeah,
(25:38):
but I take I do it because it makes me
feel better, but it also helps me look better, keeps
my body, my bones.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
You know.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Motion is lotion, right, And so I think some people
use menopause as an excuse to you know, sit down
in the chair and eat ice cream and in their
best days of behind them.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
If you have a child, the next on saying like, yes,
everything changes, you're hit with changes because the baby. Most
babies come through the canal. It's part of nature.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Yeah. And you know what advice I have for those women,
be so grateful that you were able to bring you
and your partner were able to bring this miracle to life.
And again, eat well, get rest, work out. Your body's
going to change. It's about being healthy. It's about doing
(26:34):
the things that will make you feel good about yourself.
But you don't want the body so what it does.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
But that's that's okay, that's right.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
And the letter comes after the letter B. That's right.
Expect it to change, and it's some things go back
to normal. Something stone. I mean, I am going to
tell you, uh, those.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Perky booths fall down to your waist, sign your pennies
and haven't brought back that's all.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah. Well, I was going to say deflated balloons, but
you know they still get the job done. You know,
I've never had a man turn away from me because
my boobs were not, you know, coming out of my neck.
So that's why.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
What are some unexpected changes that you noticed at any age,
like how you carry your weight, or did anything happen
that fell out of the blue, Like you shared with
us that when you were young you were heavier. Yes,
and that big change came when you made up your
(27:33):
mind and you started your walking and you're exercising and
you're extremely fit. But that came out of the blue, right,
what came out? You made up your mind I am
not going to be two hundred pounds.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yes, well it didn't come out. Yes, it sort of
came out a little bit, yes, it it. It came
out of the blue in that I decided made a choice,
You made a choice. I think unexpected changes are just
the ones you don't know about, Like, uh, you know
all women know this dryness during sex. I mean that
(28:06):
you know that was unexpected. I didn't think it was
going to happen quite as quickly as it did. But again,
there's lots of things you can do for that, so
there's ways around it. So I don't know unexpected. I
think it's everyone's responsible for educating themselves, don't you and
so if you if you're feeling these changes, I think
(28:27):
sometimes depression women feel depressed or.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
That that comes out of the blue sometimes too right,
the best days of their body, that's your chemistry and
you know the serotonin and.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
So yeah, yes, and I think I, I mean, it
didn't really happen for me. I but I already know
I'm a weirdo. I don't feel like my best days
are behind me. I feel like there's great days ahead
of me. I'm living great days. I've lived great days.
I think that is something that women. I wish more
women would be motivated to do what it takes to
(29:05):
feel better about themselves.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Does that make sense? This is a perfect question for you.
What advice would you give to young women struggling with
their body image, especially in today's world filled with ozempic
and AI.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Well, again, my advice is what I just said. First
of all, most of the pictures you see on social media,
everything's airbrushed. They've done everything they can to reconstitute a
picture to make that person look like Barbie. Uh and
(29:39):
and that's not reality. And my advice is, don't pay
attention to what you see on social media. As far
as ozempic and those things if you if you need ozempic,
I'm a purist. If you need ozempic, I think it's
for treat diabetes.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Right. Sisters are both on it right now. My sister
lost but she's no longer a diabetic and she said
that the doctor, are you going to take me off now?
He said no, no, that's what's keeping you from being it.
So it does help something.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
So but here's the thing. The question was women struggling
with their body image. I have a problem, and I
guess ozembic is never going to come to me and
offer me a brandale. But I don't subscribe to women
using drugs off label that have not been studied enough.
(30:31):
The studies are now coming out that not such a
good thing. So I feel like the advice is eat healthy,
work out, don't look for a quick fix for your body.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I have to call you out on something, girlfriend, and
it's because I love you and I tell you this often.
You still struggle with body image.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
I know I do. What's your point?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
What what you're giving advice out? You need to follow
your own Mike absolutely amazing, and I'm not going to
say for your age, you look amazing if anything, you're
too skinny, but you pick out the flaws. Now, we're
here to give advice for people struggling like you. Yes,
by advice to tell them. The advice is try, I
(31:19):
try to be kind to myself. I have body dysmorphia.
You and I'm talking about this, so I'm saying, be
kind yourself. I try to look in the mirror and
say it's okay, it's okay, Kathy, you look okay, don't
And when you put a dress on and you see
the picture, how great you look going on Paradise. You
look fabulous in your dresses. Doesn't that like.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
It does help? But Paradise, that's a tough That was
a really tough one for me. And we've talked about this.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Because you're around twenty and thirty year old.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Well, these girls look like I mean, I love them
all dearly, but I was the only one not in
a bikini. Well some of the goldens were not. But
you know, body image is a real thing. I and
I think it's honestly susan worse worse for younger people
because they're so invested in AI and social media, And
(32:08):
what I want them to know is that's not real.
So I do the best I can. I work out,
I eat well. I try to tell myself, and that's
I try to self talk, and that would be my advice.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
You know. Also, we've come a long way since everybody
looked like twigg eat when I grew up, and now
they're full body models and way bigger.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
No, they call them Kirby, call them kurvy. That's the
label now curby.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Well, I don't care what the label is. But it's
okay to be a bigger or thicker, or you know,
full bodied. It's okay today.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I want beauty standards to be reflecting what women really
look like in real life. That but but I does
not go to get the fact. It does not negate
the fact that I want all women, men, children, everyone
to eat healthy, exercise, and and the goal should not
(33:17):
be to be skinny as a rail so you fit
into your size two's whatever. The goal should be to
feel good, to look healthy, to have energy, to be
able to move your body in a healthy way. So
I know I sound like a preacher here, but I
wish beauty standards. I don't want healthy.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I do that, but I also eat unhealthy.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Everyone does eat everyone does. But I'm saying it's it's
like everything in life moderation, and I don't like seeing
people using uh.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
The just for a quick fix, yes.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Because that's you know what, It's not going to work.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
But it has helped so many people, so I'm not
knocking it.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
No, no, no. Zeppych is a life changer for people
with diabetes wonderful, and it's a life changer for people
apparently who are overweight. But I would like to see
the world work at being better and.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Not judge people because of what they look like.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Do you think that's ever going to happen.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I hope so, But you know what, we're out of
time and that does it for today's episode of Bachelor
Happy Hours, Golden Hopp.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
Well, thank you all so much for joining us. Be
sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we do have
new episodes coming out every week and you don't want
to miss even one.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
That's right. Make sure you submit your questions to us
and your comments and we love the feedback afterwards. And
that was a year ago. That was so awesome. You
can go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour,
or you can hit us up on social media at
Bachelor Happy.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Hour, Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to your podcasts untill
next time. Have a great week.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Mm hmm
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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