June 19, 2024 • 33 mins
Today on Golden Hour, Kathy and Susan sit down with a very special guest, Natascha Hardee! Natascha is here to talk all things dating in your Golden years. We kick off today's episode catching up with Natascha; it's a Golden Bachelor roommate reunion! Then, we get into the strategy and key perspective when it comes to dating in your later years; how do you best prepare for a first date? Natascha has all the answers and you're not gonna wanna miss them!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you
so much for joining us again. We're so excited to
be bad Ray Kathy.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
We are so excited. And folks, if you haven't done
it yet, I don't know. I don't know what you're doing.
But now it's the time. Follow our podcast so you
don't miss an episode. All you have to do is
search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the podcast app and
make sure to hit the follow button.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, it's super important you follow the podcast so you
get notified every time there's a new episode. Also, while
you're there, leave us a review or ask us a question.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And please check out all our past episodes. Susan and
I have been having so much fun answering all of
your questions and comments, so keep them coming at Bachelornation
dot com slash Golden Hour.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And today we have a very very special guest. Our friend,
pro aging coach and Golden Bachelor fan favorite, Natasha Hardy
is here.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Hi Natasha, thanks so much for joining us.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Hi Natasha, Hi, I love it. I love what you
ladies are doing. And we are former roommates. Remember that,
Yes we are.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, I remember, Natasha, you and I had to fight
for closet space.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
You remember that bunk bed, Natasha, you were a good sport.
I can tell you that.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Yeah, yes, indeed, so.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Tell me about life in New York City.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Life in New York City is very exciting. I have
to say. My most recent escapade was going to pick
up my granddaughter from boarding school last weekend. And what's
so interesting. I had asked one of my ex boyfriend
and to uh drive me up to pick her up
(02:03):
from boarding school, and that went really well.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
On this planet?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
What reason did you have to call an ex boyfriend
to go pick up your granddaughter at boarding school? Because
I know she goes to go to boarding school in Massachusetts.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
That's not around the corner.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
No, and h to be quite honest with you, there's
a number of my ex boyfriends I keep in contact with.
I have a good relationship. We have a good friendship
right after our relationship, well situationship.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I do too.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I'm with you, and there's a couple of them that
I have really good relationships with.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
Are there any that Susan and I might be interested in.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
We'll tell you what someone told me. There's a reason
why they're in next That's what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Go there.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I want to know how was the drive up, What
did you talk about?
Speaker 5 (03:05):
Are you reconsidering dating him? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
I am not reconsidering dating him.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Is he reconsidering you?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
That?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I don't know. That did not surface in the conversation. However,
I can say that ten years ago we broke up,
we separated, and I don't think we had closure, and
that time we spent together gave us closure in our relationship.
(03:36):
And even though we've been speaking and connecting over the
last ten years, I didn't realize and I don't think
he also didn't realize that we didn't have closure. We
spoke about that, we didn't really have closure, and there
was a whole thing that went on and between us
(03:56):
where we spoke about things and shared and really connected
in a way that allowed us to heal. And I
do honestly believe that has opened up something for me
away for me to now start dating in a full capacity.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Like wait a minute, Wait a minute, Natasha.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
All this happened on an hour and a half drive
to western Massachusetts.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Give me a break.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Come on, excuse me, excuse me. Let me tell you
it's four hours away, because it's four field right, it's
way over it's beautifour hours away. And because he came
from Virginia to come here, I asked him to come
the day before we were leaving, and then we drove
(04:49):
up the day before Dana got out of school.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Where to spend the night before? Right?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
He here? Okay, stay here. That's why we were able
to talk and connect a lot.
Speaker 5 (05:02):
Right And I bet you did connect.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Yeah. Well, I'm going to use your use just saying
I don't kiss in town.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Oh interesting, So some Natasha, let me ask you something here?
Speaker 5 (05:21):
I mean for me, I don't get all this for me.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
You know, closure takes like thirty seconds goodbye, so you
know four hours. I don't know, like whatever. I'm glad though, seriously,
I'm happy for you that you guys had closure and
you can move on and you want to date, which
brings me to my question, what's dating like?
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Are you dating? Give us the scoop?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I feel like dating in New York is challenging the men.
The female to male ratio is very high, and I
do feel like men are here in New York are
playing the field. I don't really find men who are
who seriously want to settle down. And my goal is
(06:12):
my next within the next two years, I plan to
leave New York and I really feel that I will
find someone outside of New York. However, I'm going to
get my dating chops and effect between now and the time.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
I will tell you, Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Natasha, my daughter lived and worked in New York for
several years, and she said the same thing that you know.
She's she's she dated, she had a great job, she's beautiful,
she's smart, all of that. She said she would date
a guy and then you know he'd be But what
else is out there? Like the commitment thing was a
(06:49):
big thing she said in New York. All right, I
have a question for you, Natasha. I know you're a
dating pro, life aging coach and all that. What's one
thing that you wish people knew about dating? As you know,
as we age.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I wish people knew how to date. The biggest thing
I'm realizing is we were never taught how to date
as young women as adult women. And when we go
back in the dating pool in this stage, we're going
back into the dating, the dating scene with those teenager
(07:23):
skills we had, and who the heck goes through their
life without re upping their skills as they grow. We
don't normally do that. And if you're in the marriage,
you're you're doing that, or you know, when you're separating
from your husband or your partner, and now you go
back in the pool. You don't have the skills. I
(07:43):
really feel like I wish we had skills and taught
how to date.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
Okay, give me the one skill, give me the one
skill we need. What's the skill, Susan? And I need.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
To go on chat GPT and download questions to ask
your partner and what chat GPT and find out dating questions,
which is what I did before I went on The Bachelor.
I had questions the correct questions that ask People are
asking questions that are way too deep and not asking
(08:19):
shot questions that are that are get to know you questions.
They have more.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
You mean, I shouldn't ask the guy on the first
date how many zeros are in his bank account?
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Is that going to deep?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
No, that's him.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
That's my problem, Susan.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
You really get to ask somebody like, what's your favorite
vacation you've been on?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
You know, if I've said that one?
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Yeah, if you have meals, yeah, if.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
You had a magic wand and you could and you
had all the time in the world and all the
money in the world, what is it that you would do?
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
That's a great question. These are like the questions get
to be deep, but they get to know you, questions
to know a friend. And I don't think we do that.
We we kind of get too carried away in the process,
and that's that's where we go go wrong. Women. You know,
we kind of go in and like we already got
(09:20):
at the altar with the guy.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I have a question, So is it not cool when
you're getting to know someone to ask them if they
know what their love language is.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I think it's too early, maybe by a third date.
You just getting to know the person. Knowing someone, wanting
to know someone's love language takes takes time. And I
also feel that it's not a cut and dry thing.
It's not like cookie cutters. Some people could have multiple
love languages is depending on.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You're looking at it.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I can't pass that test because I'm like, all of
these things are different from me, depending on day to
time of year or whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Again, for me, Susan and I we've talked about this,
this whole love language thing. I'm like, what do you
want to know my love language.
Speaker 5 (10:17):
What's your like? What you want? What I want?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
The whole question confuses me, but I absolute agree with you, Natasha.
You you have to just sort of get to know
somebody first, and so with that in mind, tell me
what's your ideal.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Date, my ideal date or partner?
Speaker 5 (10:36):
No, like you're going on a date. What's your idea
to date?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Drinks, dinner, Netflix, chilling at home? What do you think
an activity to.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Get to if I want to get to know someone
first date, first date, coffee and maybe like a light
of brunch or something like. There's some very simple coffee
because if I don't like the person, I want to
be able to get up and go.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
I agree with that.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
If they're good, if I'm good with them, then we
can order a little nache.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Or something to have a little notch.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So are you looking for something different in a partner
at this stage of your life?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Then you thought you were way back when and what hell?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yes, I'm going to take that as I'm going to
take that as affirmative. Yes, tell us, tell.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Us I am looking for someone who has the ability
to be having emotional intelligence, like a level of sensitivity
that we can relate communication is key, and I would
like to have someone who can be intimate. And I'm
(11:43):
talking about intimacy, not physical intimacy that's gonna come. I'm
talking about an intimacy of connection. Being able to pay
attention and notice, oh you you seem like you may
be upset or bothered or are you okay? And being
(12:04):
able to hug, being able to sit quietly or hold
hands or go for a walk in the park. Intimacy, connection,
eye gazing, really getting to know someone. And I feel like,
back to the love language question, when you do that,
you'll know what the person's love language is. When you
(12:26):
get to know someone, it won't you know. It doesn't
have to be quote unquote their love language. You'll know
and you'll get to know. And having intimacy allows a
person to feel safe, for them to drop their guard
and you to drop your guard, so that there's a
connection where you can actually be your authentic self.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
And that, Susan, Susan, that's the problem for us. You,
you and I have not been our authentic self.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
Yes we have, I know, I was kidding. That's that's
why we don't have anybody.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
That's why because we are authentically authentically ourselves.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
And I'd like to be with somebody that You're still
comfortable in silence.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You're comfortable.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
You heard me say that, be silent, being able to
be quiet together is The thing is, Kathy, is you
have to understand that sometimes being your authentic self is
a form of a defense mechanism, and the way it
comes across can be very brash or abrasive to someone.
(13:34):
So there's a level of being your authentic self where
you're soft and receptive with its guys, reciprocity going on,
where you're giving and receiving in exchange between the person.
So sometimes being able to fall back allows and be
(13:57):
having space for the person to be even s else
is not really so much about you showing who you are,
but being yourself in a space of flow.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
If that makes sense, and comfort right, be comfortable in
your own skin. What I've learned later in life was
to relax and listen because they tell you see and
sometimes when you're nervous you go.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And I'm not.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I don't have to do that anymore now, It's just like, Okay,
show me who you are.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Men are problem solvers, so men like to solve problems.
The key thing is, like you said, Susan, is to
be a listener. Be a listener. Listening is a skill.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
It is a skill.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And you know, Natasha, I make a lot of jokes,
but seriously, on the dates that I have, I am
very good at asking the questions and listening, and that's
how I find out pretty down quickly whether I'm interested
or not. I think it's we talk all the time
about red flags. If you go out with someone and
they're not asking you questions and you're not having an
(15:11):
equal conversation, that is a red flag. That is never
going to become a white flag. So you know, may
I make a lot of jokes, but I absolutely know that.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
And you give them the benefit of the doubt for
the first few minutes because people are nervous.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Do you say first few minutes or first few dates?
No minutes sinceans in a hurry, that's it.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
No, I definitely agree with what you're saying. Both of
you are saying the key thing here is to find
a happy medium, and of course if no one is
someone is not talking or communicating, you know, that's a
red flag. I agree wholeheartedly with that. I feel like
a game. I feel like at this stage of the game.
(15:55):
Your assessment can be so quick because we've lived long
enough to you know, snuff out the nonsense. So that
makes it easier. You don't have to waste your time
with a knuckle dragger, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Have you met anyone that has these things that you're
looking for or some of them, some of the qualities
that you like?
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Not yet?
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Not?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
All right, Well she hasn't. But well, I want to
talk about Joan for a minute. We know she's going
to be the Golden Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
And we're all excited.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
We're so excited, So come on, tell us what do
you think about her being the Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
At I think it's awesome. I love Joan. She first
of all, she's very beautiful woman. We all are, and
she's a beautiful woman who does not allow her beauty
to impact who she is. And I feel like a
(16:53):
lot most of us in the house were like that.
We did not allow our gifts to ope with shadow
who we were. And I feel like joon o'll be
is very even killed and she has her her brain
is you know good, She'll make her assessments is spot on.
(17:16):
She's a lot of fun and I feel like Joan
has great discernment in this process. I wish her all
the best. I know she's going to do, be excellent
in the role, and I don't Joan has three.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
Children, I believe four.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
I think she has four, four children and grandchildren, so
she's not going to be up for the Shenanigans.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Do you have any advice for the bachelors that are
going on her show?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
What would you tell them if they asked you for advice?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
I would tell them to be their authentic self, to
take their time. I'm in how they present to her,
be honest, right, and they get to do a little
research and find out what is it that she's looking for.
(18:14):
I'm sure it's out there. We we you know, all
our information is out there. So they get to do research,
figure out what she wants. And don't don't come half
step in because that's our sister and we we will
come if you try to play a trick on her,
laugh a little bit.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
To make her laugh and and have a good time.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Exactly all right.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
So wait, I have a question, Natasha.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Everyone, your your ear rings, your your comments on chairs
is is infamous. It goes down in history and the
earring Yo, she's got on her chair earrings.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Look at that all right?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Other than chairs at the rows ceremonies, Are there any
other accommodations for these for this season that you'd like
to see the upcoming Golden Bachelorette?
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Uh? I don't know. If men would need chairs, definitely
no women would need chairs. And I would actually request
that Jones sits in a chair while she.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Cushion those wooden things that you stand.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Yeah. I would tell these guys to to really just
just be friends. I mean I think that that is so.
I know it's competitive, and men are way more competitive
than women. I feel like as a coach they definitely
we have been given advice forever. And of course that
(19:45):
goes without.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Saying so, let's let's go back to people midlife Golden
who feel discouraged in the dating scene, like some people
aren't comfortable with dating apps, and how do you feel
about that?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Or then I talked about that a couple of weeks
ago on a show. I would basically say to them,
don't give up. You still have a lot of life
to live. You got to kiss a lot of frogs
before you get your prints, and you know, in our life,
right in our life. We go on, we try, try
(20:19):
and try again and that one time or twice that happened.
Find a way. If dating apps don't work for you,
then find like find a way to interact. There's so
many ways. You can learn a language, start a new hobby,
(20:40):
you can take a class, all these places you'll meet
people in your effic to start dating. It doesn't matter
me dating or oriented. It could be you're putting yourself
in different environments or joint organizations where you get a
chance to meet people, even organizations from your your past
(21:01):
working experience or careers. Right Heep added, I know it's discouraging,
and it's okay. We get discouraged a lot, but it
doesn't mean we get to sit down and stop living.
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
What about the self love?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
That how everybody starts seeing the image that they don't
want to see in their older years, golden years. Their
bodies change, their lives change, their work changes, or they're
retired and they don't go out like have.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
You been on my Instagram page? Well, you know this
is part of here's what I have to say, and
I'll say it very quickly. This is a long, big topic.
I feel that from birth to about thirty nine. We're taught,
and we understand that there's a lot of losses and
(22:01):
grieving through that part, right We grieve toddlerhood to childhood,
to teens, to twins, to adulthood. We know about pregnancy,
we know about marriage, we know about all of that.
Nobody tells us about what's happening after you hit forty.
And because a lot of us don't understand or know
about menopause, peri menopause, empty nesting, possibly divorced, career changes, parenting, caretaking,
(22:30):
all that stuff, no one talks about it. So we
can depress to this, you really, because the reality is
is that this is what happens. And if we were
educated about it, we would know that we're not going
to keep that slim, trim body and it's okay to
get a little belly or gain some weight and get
(22:53):
used to seeing the hair. You're going to have these changes.
And imagine if you got pregnant and didn't know your
belly was gonna get big, how that would freak you out?
If you educated to know your head is gonna get grid,
you're gonna get this belly, You're gonna have these things.
It's okay.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
You know, how do we tell them to love themselves? Again?
I mean exactly, it's acceptance.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Acceptance comes in increments, right, So you must accept a
little at a time, a little at the time.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
But don't know, Tasha, don't you think?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Also sort of as we age, building uh self love
means building some and changing some of our habits to
adapt to how we are aging. So it's maybe, as
you say, maybe you have to move a little more,
or you have to change what you eat, and it's
you know, pasapasa, step by step. You gotta you can't
(23:48):
make a million changes at one time, but a little
change can have a dramatic effect.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Absolutely, And that's the acceptance part. It's like, oh, I
noticed I'm putting on some Let me start exercises, or
let me change my diet, or let me go meet
with a nutritionist. These small steps of accepting, and you're
loving yourself in the process. And it happens like you
(24:16):
start saying, I get like I'm tired of taking care
of everybody else. We as women, mothers, do that it's
time to turn the focus on me. What is it
that I get to do to love myself? Maybe I
need to make regular doctor's appointments, go to the dentist,
do a facial once a month, Start exercising, change my
(24:36):
eating and it takes excise.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
How many times did I tell you? Yeah, finally started exercising.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
However, I can't change the way I eat yet.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
That's fine.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
That's one step, dude. It's one step at a time,
and you get changed. Susan, you gave up champs, so
I did good on you. Yes, all right, Well, Tasha,
I'm a little afraid to ask us, but we're gonna
close out this part of our lovely time with you.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
Okay, natashauld be kind.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
You know I come across as brash, but really I
can break down in tears at a moment to notice.
What's your dating advice for us? Don't hold back? Come on,
what is it?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Give it? Harry?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I say, you both have a great sense of humor.
Keep that up. I would say to take your time,
hold back, fall back and really go on chat ep
and find out ten questions that you can ask that
(25:44):
will support you in dating to get to know someone,
and that will allow you to put that question out
there and then get the flood of information you get
to have so that you can make a choice you
both are very loving and kind women. I know. I
was in a room with you all and you have
(26:06):
both have big hearts, and you have a big you have.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
A big big man, comedy, big comedy, big fun.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
You both love to have fun, and I think you
have everything you need. We get to have men, I say, we,
including me, who are not intimidated by women who are
so self assured as we are.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
And you know, they always say they want a woman
that's self sufficient, that's self you know, and they really don't.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
I don't think I don't think they know what that means.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
When you're a strong, independent woman.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Men. So I want an independent woman, and we are independent.
We take care of ourselves. We're doing our own lives
and we want to share it with someone.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
And that's intimidating to a lot of men.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
We just got to find the ones that's not.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
At the same time, we've been doing this so long.
We it's not only them. We have to learn to
fall back. We have to learn to have some allowing
in the process. We have to learn not to be
so stuck in our ways where we begin to allow
them to be who they are and not want them
to conform to our way. This way.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
That was my problem.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I would conform to all their ways, and then six
months in.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
I'm like, communication is key, that's.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
That's our middle word.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
So we have a question from one of our fans
and they'd like some advice with all of us. And
this one is from Saphina. She's seventy one and she's
from Atlanta. I love the Golden Hour podcast.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Finally a podcast from some people I can relate to.
I thought i'd write in because I've been struggling with
my self confidence lately and it's holding me back from dating.
When I see pictures of my from twenties, thirties, forties,
I look so beautiful when I look in the mirror. Now,
I fear my best days are behind me, and it's
(28:08):
been holding me back from putting myself out there. I
never imagine being single at this age, and I wish
the younger version of me could be what my potential
suitors were seeing. I really want to meet someone, but
all the men my age and older are dating much
younger women, and I'm beginning to feel discouraged. Would love
(28:29):
to hear your thoughts on this and if you have
any advice for me. Love you ladies all, Sephina, and
thanks for writing in. And you know what, we all
look back at our pictures. I was hot once upon
a time.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
What do you think, Natasha? Come on, what do you
think for Safina? Give some gold here.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Confidence has nothing to do with your with what you
look like or what you wear. Confidence is an inside job,
like happiness, like love, like joy. And she gets to
look at who she's become over these years and she
still is that young version of herself and bring that forward,
(29:10):
bring the youthful energy of who she is to the
foreground and live in that space and stop worrying about
what people think and worrying about who's.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
Yeah, you know it's funny, so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
She's still beautiful spring herself and comparison will kill you.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
Yeah, because you know what I have done.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I'm sitting here looking at this and thinking, Sephena, you
have matured you. I don't want to be my younger self.
I have gained so much knowledge and experience and have
had the highest of highs. I've had the best love,
I've suffered the greatest losses. All of those things have
(29:56):
made me who I am today. That's who I want
someone to fall in love with, not some picture of
me when you know I was twenty or twenty five. So, Sophia,
I think you need to rethink what it is you're
looking for and what you think men are looking for,
because you don't want a guy.
Speaker 5 (30:15):
You don't want a guy that's looking for a twenty
year old.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Sephina, there's one thing you said that I'm going to
disagree with. Your best days are behind you? Oh no
they're not, Sweetie. This is the best chapter ever. Go out,
be you, be you, enjoy you, and someone else will too.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
Natasha, do you think it takes a lot of courage.
I mean, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I think people our age sometimes they think we think
we're the only ones dealing with this. And I think
you know, when you were talking earlier about going out
and going to, you know, different venues to meet people,
I think we all need to remember right that we're
all scared. We're all in that same boat. So it's
just being you. And do you agree with that or not?
Speaker 4 (31:02):
I agree practice makes perfect. The more you go out,
the more you get to know people and go into
different venues for dating or getting to know people, it
becomes easier. It's when you rarely do it, and you
it's you don't.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
It's the word.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Yeah, it's weird, it's awkward. You're socially awkward. And I
know it's taken me years to be able to step
into new environments confidently. However, you must do it. I
notice the more I go out, the more I'm circulating,
the easier it comes.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Or temper the troul about yourself. Take a little trip
by yourself. It doesn't have to be long, it doesn't
even have to be far. Just go be with yourself.
You never know who you're going to meet, and that's okay.
If you didn't meet anybody you did you.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Sit right down and see what is she want? Like,
sit down and write on the paper. She may not
even know who she's looking for because she hasn't even
evaluated what am I looking for? The question you all
ask me what am I looking for in a partner?
Right now? What are the what are my pros? And
what are my cons? And if you have a long
list of negatives and not enough positive you got you
(32:15):
got a lot of work to do.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Natasha, you are absolutely fabulous and you're spot on. Thank
you so much for coming and talking with us today
and just sit out some great advice ladies and gentlemen.
That does it for today's episode of Bachelor Happy Hours
Golden Hour.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Thank you so much, Natasha.
Speaker 5 (32:36):
We have loved catching up with you. Natasha.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
As always, you always have great advice and we hope
that you all will follow us on Bachelor Bachelor Happy
Hour as we have new episodes coming out every week.
If you enjoyed today with Natasha, you're gonna love what's
coming up.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Next, and make sure to submit those questions because we
do want to answer them. You can go to Bachelor
niche dot com, slash Golden Hour, or hit us up
on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Thanks again, and be sure listen to Bachelor Happy Hours
Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen
to podcasts.
Speaker 5 (33:14):
We'll see you next week. Take care,
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you
so much for joining us again. We're so excited to
be bad Ray Kathy.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
We are so excited. And folks, if you haven't done
it yet, I don't know. I don't know what you're doing.
But now it's the time. Follow our podcast so you
don't miss an episode. All you have to do is
search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the podcast app and
make sure to hit the follow button.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, it's super important you follow the podcast so you
get notified every time there's a new episode. Also, while
you're there, leave us a review or ask us a question.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And please check out all our past episodes. Susan and
I have been having so much fun answering all of
your questions and comments, so keep them coming at Bachelornation
dot com slash Golden Hour.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
And today we have a very very special guest. Our friend,
pro aging coach and Golden Bachelor fan favorite, Natasha Hardy
is here.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Hi Natasha, thanks so much for joining us.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Hi Natasha, Hi, I love it. I love what you
ladies are doing. And we are former roommates. Remember that,
Yes we are.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yes, I remember, Natasha, you and I had to fight
for closet space.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
You remember that bunk bed, Natasha, you were a good sport.
I can tell you that.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Yeah, yes, indeed, so.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Tell me about life in New York City.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Life in New York City is very exciting. I have
to say. My most recent escapade was going to pick
up my granddaughter from boarding school last weekend. And what's
so interesting. I had asked one of my ex boyfriend
and to uh drive me up to pick her up
(02:03):
from boarding school, and that went really well.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
On this planet?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
What reason did you have to call an ex boyfriend
to go pick up your granddaughter at boarding school? Because
I know she goes to go to boarding school in Massachusetts.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
That's not around the corner.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
No, and h to be quite honest with you, there's
a number of my ex boyfriends I keep in contact with.
I have a good relationship. We have a good friendship
right after our relationship, well situationship.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I do too.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
I'm with you, and there's a couple of them that
I have really good relationships with.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
Are there any that Susan and I might be interested in.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
We'll tell you what someone told me. There's a reason
why they're in next That's what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Go there.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I want to know how was the drive up, What
did you talk about?
Speaker 5 (03:05):
Are you reconsidering dating him? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:08):
I am not reconsidering dating him.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Is he reconsidering you?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
That?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I don't know. That did not surface in the conversation. However,
I can say that ten years ago we broke up,
we separated, and I don't think we had closure, and
that time we spent together gave us closure in our relationship.
(03:36):
And even though we've been speaking and connecting over the
last ten years, I didn't realize and I don't think
he also didn't realize that we didn't have closure. We
spoke about that, we didn't really have closure, and there
was a whole thing that went on and between us
(03:56):
where we spoke about things and shared and really connected
in a way that allowed us to heal. And I
do honestly believe that has opened up something for me
away for me to now start dating in a full capacity.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Like wait a minute, Wait a minute, Natasha.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
All this happened on an hour and a half drive
to western Massachusetts.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Give me a break.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Come on, excuse me, excuse me. Let me tell you
it's four hours away, because it's four field right, it's
way over it's beautifour hours away. And because he came
from Virginia to come here, I asked him to come
the day before we were leaving, and then we drove
(04:49):
up the day before Dana got out of school.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
Where to spend the night before? Right?
Speaker 4 (04:56):
He here? Okay, stay here. That's why we were able
to talk and connect a lot.
Speaker 5 (05:02):
Right And I bet you did connect.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Yeah. Well, I'm going to use your use just saying
I don't kiss in town.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Oh interesting, So some Natasha, let me ask you something here?
Speaker 5 (05:21):
I mean for me, I don't get all this for me.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
You know, closure takes like thirty seconds goodbye, so you
know four hours. I don't know, like whatever. I'm glad though, seriously,
I'm happy for you that you guys had closure and
you can move on and you want to date, which
brings me to my question, what's dating like?
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Are you dating? Give us the scoop?
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I feel like dating in New York is challenging the men.
The female to male ratio is very high, and I
do feel like men are here in New York are
playing the field. I don't really find men who are
who seriously want to settle down. And my goal is
(06:12):
my next within the next two years, I plan to
leave New York and I really feel that I will
find someone outside of New York. However, I'm going to
get my dating chops and effect between now and the time.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
I will tell you, Yeah, I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Natasha, my daughter lived and worked in New York for
several years, and she said the same thing that you know.
She's she's she dated, she had a great job, she's beautiful,
she's smart, all of that. She said she would date
a guy and then you know he'd be But what
else is out there? Like the commitment thing was a
(06:49):
big thing she said in New York. All right, I
have a question for you, Natasha. I know you're a
dating pro, life aging coach and all that. What's one
thing that you wish people knew about dating? As you know,
as we age.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I wish people knew how to date. The biggest thing
I'm realizing is we were never taught how to date
as young women as adult women. And when we go
back in the dating pool in this stage, we're going
back into the dating, the dating scene with those teenager
(07:23):
skills we had, and who the heck goes through their
life without re upping their skills as they grow. We
don't normally do that. And if you're in the marriage,
you're you're doing that, or you know, when you're separating
from your husband or your partner, and now you go
back in the pool. You don't have the skills. I
(07:43):
really feel like I wish we had skills and taught
how to date.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
Okay, give me the one skill, give me the one
skill we need. What's the skill, Susan? And I need.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
To go on chat GPT and download questions to ask
your partner and what chat GPT and find out dating questions,
which is what I did before I went on The Bachelor.
I had questions the correct questions that ask People are
asking questions that are way too deep and not asking
(08:19):
shot questions that are that are get to know you questions.
They have more.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
You mean, I shouldn't ask the guy on the first
date how many zeros are in his bank account?
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Is that going to deep?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
No, that's him.
Speaker 5 (08:33):
That's my problem, Susan.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
You really get to ask somebody like, what's your favorite
vacation you've been on?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
You know, if I've said that one?
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Yeah, if you have meals, yeah, if.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
You had a magic wand and you could and you
had all the time in the world and all the
money in the world, what is it that you would do?
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
That's a great question. These are like the questions get
to be deep, but they get to know you, questions
to know a friend. And I don't think we do that.
We we kind of get too carried away in the process,
and that's that's where we go go wrong. Women. You know,
we kind of go in and like we already got
(09:20):
at the altar with the guy.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I have a question, So is it not cool when
you're getting to know someone to ask them if they
know what their love language is.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I think it's too early, maybe by a third date.
You just getting to know the person. Knowing someone, wanting
to know someone's love language takes takes time. And I
also feel that it's not a cut and dry thing.
It's not like cookie cutters. Some people could have multiple
love languages is depending on.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You're looking at it.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I can't pass that test because I'm like, all of
these things are different from me, depending on day to
time of year or whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Again, for me, Susan and I we've talked about this,
this whole love language thing. I'm like, what do you
want to know my love language.
Speaker 5 (10:17):
What's your like? What you want? What I want?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
The whole question confuses me, but I absolute agree with you, Natasha.
You you have to just sort of get to know
somebody first, and so with that in mind, tell me
what's your ideal.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Date, my ideal date or partner?
Speaker 5 (10:36):
No, like you're going on a date. What's your idea
to date?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Drinks, dinner, Netflix, chilling at home? What do you think
an activity to.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Get to if I want to get to know someone
first date, first date, coffee and maybe like a light
of brunch or something like. There's some very simple coffee
because if I don't like the person, I want to
be able to get up and go.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
I agree with that.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
If they're good, if I'm good with them, then we
can order a little nache.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Or something to have a little notch.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
So are you looking for something different in a partner
at this stage of your life?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Then you thought you were way back when and what hell?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yes, I'm going to take that as I'm going to
take that as affirmative. Yes, tell us, tell.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Us I am looking for someone who has the ability
to be having emotional intelligence, like a level of sensitivity
that we can relate communication is key, and I would
like to have someone who can be intimate. And I'm
(11:43):
talking about intimacy, not physical intimacy that's gonna come. I'm
talking about an intimacy of connection. Being able to pay
attention and notice, oh you you seem like you may
be upset or bothered or are you okay? And being
(12:04):
able to hug, being able to sit quietly or hold
hands or go for a walk in the park. Intimacy, connection,
eye gazing, really getting to know someone. And I feel like,
back to the love language question, when you do that,
you'll know what the person's love language is. When you
(12:26):
get to know someone, it won't you know. It doesn't
have to be quote unquote their love language. You'll know
and you'll get to know. And having intimacy allows a
person to feel safe, for them to drop their guard
and you to drop your guard, so that there's a
connection where you can actually be your authentic self.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
And that, Susan, Susan, that's the problem for us. You,
you and I have not been our authentic self.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
Yes we have, I know, I was kidding. That's that's
why we don't have anybody.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
That's why because we are authentically authentically ourselves.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
And I'd like to be with somebody that You're still
comfortable in silence.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
You're comfortable.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
You heard me say that, be silent, being able to
be quiet together is The thing is, Kathy, is you
have to understand that sometimes being your authentic self is
a form of a defense mechanism, and the way it
comes across can be very brash or abrasive to someone.
(13:34):
So there's a level of being your authentic self where
you're soft and receptive with its guys, reciprocity going on,
where you're giving and receiving in exchange between the person.
So sometimes being able to fall back allows and be
(13:57):
having space for the person to be even s else
is not really so much about you showing who you are,
but being yourself in a space of flow.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
If that makes sense, and comfort right, be comfortable in
your own skin. What I've learned later in life was
to relax and listen because they tell you see and
sometimes when you're nervous you go.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And I'm not.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I don't have to do that anymore now, It's just like, Okay,
show me who you are.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Men are problem solvers, so men like to solve problems.
The key thing is, like you said, Susan, is to
be a listener. Be a listener. Listening is a skill.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
It is a skill.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And you know, Natasha, I make a lot of jokes,
but seriously, on the dates that I have, I am
very good at asking the questions and listening, and that's
how I find out pretty down quickly whether I'm interested
or not. I think it's we talk all the time
about red flags. If you go out with someone and
they're not asking you questions and you're not having an
(15:11):
equal conversation, that is a red flag. That is never
going to become a white flag. So you know, may
I make a lot of jokes, but I absolutely know that.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
And you give them the benefit of the doubt for
the first few minutes because people are nervous.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Do you say first few minutes or first few dates?
No minutes sinceans in a hurry, that's it.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
No, I definitely agree with what you're saying. Both of
you are saying the key thing here is to find
a happy medium, and of course if no one is
someone is not talking or communicating, you know, that's a
red flag. I agree wholeheartedly with that. I feel like
a game. I feel like at this stage of the game.
(15:55):
Your assessment can be so quick because we've lived long
enough to you know, snuff out the nonsense. So that
makes it easier. You don't have to waste your time
with a knuckle dragger, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Have you met anyone that has these things that you're
looking for or some of them, some of the qualities
that you like?
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Not yet?
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Not?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
All right, Well she hasn't. But well, I want to
talk about Joan for a minute. We know she's going
to be the Golden Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
And we're all excited.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
We're so excited, So come on, tell us what do
you think about her being the Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
At I think it's awesome. I love Joan. She first
of all, she's very beautiful woman. We all are, and
she's a beautiful woman who does not allow her beauty
to impact who she is. And I feel like a
(16:53):
lot most of us in the house were like that.
We did not allow our gifts to ope with shadow
who we were. And I feel like joon o'll be
is very even killed and she has her her brain
is you know good, She'll make her assessments is spot on.
(17:16):
She's a lot of fun and I feel like Joan
has great discernment in this process. I wish her all
the best. I know she's going to do, be excellent
in the role, and I don't Joan has three.
Speaker 5 (17:33):
Children, I believe four.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
I think she has four, four children and grandchildren, so
she's not going to be up for the Shenanigans.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Do you have any advice for the bachelors that are
going on her show?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
What would you tell them if they asked you for advice?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
I would tell them to be their authentic self, to
take their time. I'm in how they present to her,
be honest, right, and they get to do a little
research and find out what is it that she's looking for.
(18:14):
I'm sure it's out there. We we you know, all
our information is out there. So they get to do research,
figure out what she wants. And don't don't come half
step in because that's our sister and we we will
come if you try to play a trick on her,
laugh a little bit.
Speaker 5 (18:33):
To make her laugh and and have a good time.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Exactly all right.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
So wait, I have a question, Natasha.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Everyone, your your ear rings, your your comments on chairs
is is infamous. It goes down in history and the
earring Yo, she's got on her chair earrings.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Look at that all right?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Other than chairs at the rows ceremonies, Are there any
other accommodations for these for this season that you'd like
to see the upcoming Golden Bachelorette?
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Uh? I don't know. If men would need chairs, definitely
no women would need chairs. And I would actually request
that Jones sits in a chair while she.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Cushion those wooden things that you stand.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Yeah. I would tell these guys to to really just
just be friends. I mean I think that that is so.
I know it's competitive, and men are way more competitive
than women. I feel like as a coach they definitely
we have been given advice forever. And of course that
(19:45):
goes without.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Saying so, let's let's go back to people midlife Golden
who feel discouraged in the dating scene, like some people
aren't comfortable with dating apps, and how do you feel
about that?
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Or then I talked about that a couple of weeks
ago on a show. I would basically say to them,
don't give up. You still have a lot of life
to live. You got to kiss a lot of frogs
before you get your prints, and you know, in our life,
right in our life. We go on, we try, try
(20:19):
and try again and that one time or twice that happened.
Find a way. If dating apps don't work for you,
then find like find a way to interact. There's so
many ways. You can learn a language, start a new hobby,
(20:40):
you can take a class, all these places you'll meet
people in your effic to start dating. It doesn't matter
me dating or oriented. It could be you're putting yourself
in different environments or joint organizations where you get a
chance to meet people, even organizations from your your past
(21:01):
working experience or careers. Right Heep added, I know it's discouraging,
and it's okay. We get discouraged a lot, but it
doesn't mean we get to sit down and stop living.
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
What about the self love?
Speaker 1 (21:25):
That how everybody starts seeing the image that they don't
want to see in their older years, golden years. Their
bodies change, their lives change, their work changes, or they're
retired and they don't go out like have.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
You been on my Instagram page? Well, you know this
is part of here's what I have to say, and
I'll say it very quickly. This is a long, big topic.
I feel that from birth to about thirty nine. We're taught,
and we understand that there's a lot of losses and
(22:01):
grieving through that part, right We grieve toddlerhood to childhood,
to teens, to twins, to adulthood. We know about pregnancy,
we know about marriage, we know about all of that.
Nobody tells us about what's happening after you hit forty.
And because a lot of us don't understand or know
about menopause, peri menopause, empty nesting, possibly divorced, career changes, parenting, caretaking,
(22:30):
all that stuff, no one talks about it. So we
can depress to this, you really, because the reality is
is that this is what happens. And if we were
educated about it, we would know that we're not going
to keep that slim, trim body and it's okay to
get a little belly or gain some weight and get
(22:53):
used to seeing the hair. You're going to have these changes.
And imagine if you got pregnant and didn't know your
belly was gonna get big, how that would freak you out?
If you educated to know your head is gonna get grid,
you're gonna get this belly, You're gonna have these things.
It's okay.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
You know, how do we tell them to love themselves? Again?
I mean exactly, it's acceptance.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Acceptance comes in increments, right, So you must accept a
little at a time, a little at the time.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
But don't know, Tasha, don't you think?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Also sort of as we age, building uh self love
means building some and changing some of our habits to
adapt to how we are aging. So it's maybe, as
you say, maybe you have to move a little more,
or you have to change what you eat, and it's
you know, pasapasa, step by step. You gotta you can't
(23:48):
make a million changes at one time, but a little
change can have a dramatic effect.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Absolutely, And that's the acceptance part. It's like, oh, I
noticed I'm putting on some Let me start exercises, or
let me change my diet, or let me go meet
with a nutritionist. These small steps of accepting, and you're
loving yourself in the process. And it happens like you
(24:16):
start saying, I get like I'm tired of taking care
of everybody else. We as women, mothers, do that it's
time to turn the focus on me. What is it
that I get to do to love myself? Maybe I
need to make regular doctor's appointments, go to the dentist,
do a facial once a month, Start exercising, change my
(24:36):
eating and it takes excise.
Speaker 5 (24:41):
How many times did I tell you? Yeah, finally started exercising.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
However, I can't change the way I eat yet.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
That's fine.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
That's one step, dude. It's one step at a time,
and you get changed. Susan, you gave up champs, so
I did good on you. Yes, all right, Well, Tasha,
I'm a little afraid to ask us, but we're gonna
close out this part of our lovely time with you.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
Okay, natashauld be kind.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
You know I come across as brash, but really I
can break down in tears at a moment to notice.
What's your dating advice for us? Don't hold back? Come on,
what is it?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Give it? Harry?
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I say, you both have a great sense of humor.
Keep that up. I would say to take your time,
hold back, fall back and really go on chat ep
and find out ten questions that you can ask that
(25:44):
will support you in dating to get to know someone,
and that will allow you to put that question out
there and then get the flood of information you get
to have so that you can make a choice you
both are very loving and kind women. I know. I
was in a room with you all and you have
(26:06):
both have big hearts, and you have a big you have.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
A big big man, comedy, big comedy, big fun.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
You both love to have fun, and I think you
have everything you need. We get to have men, I say, we,
including me, who are not intimidated by women who are
so self assured as we are.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
And you know, they always say they want a woman
that's self sufficient, that's self you know, and they really don't.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
I don't think I don't think they know what that means.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
When you're a strong, independent woman.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Men. So I want an independent woman, and we are independent.
We take care of ourselves. We're doing our own lives
and we want to share it with someone.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
And that's intimidating to a lot of men.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
We just got to find the ones that's not.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
At the same time, we've been doing this so long.
We it's not only them. We have to learn to
fall back. We have to learn to have some allowing
in the process. We have to learn not to be
so stuck in our ways where we begin to allow
them to be who they are and not want them
to conform to our way. This way.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
That was my problem.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I would conform to all their ways, and then six
months in.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
I'm like, communication is key, that's.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
That's our middle word.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
So we have a question from one of our fans
and they'd like some advice with all of us. And
this one is from Saphina. She's seventy one and she's
from Atlanta. I love the Golden Hour podcast.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Finally a podcast from some people I can relate to.
I thought i'd write in because I've been struggling with
my self confidence lately and it's holding me back from dating.
When I see pictures of my from twenties, thirties, forties,
I look so beautiful when I look in the mirror. Now,
I fear my best days are behind me, and it's
(28:08):
been holding me back from putting myself out there. I
never imagine being single at this age, and I wish
the younger version of me could be what my potential
suitors were seeing. I really want to meet someone, but
all the men my age and older are dating much
younger women, and I'm beginning to feel discouraged. Would love
(28:29):
to hear your thoughts on this and if you have
any advice for me. Love you ladies all, Sephina, and
thanks for writing in. And you know what, we all
look back at our pictures. I was hot once upon
a time.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
What do you think, Natasha? Come on, what do you
think for Safina? Give some gold here.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Confidence has nothing to do with your with what you
look like or what you wear. Confidence is an inside job,
like happiness, like love, like joy. And she gets to
look at who she's become over these years and she
still is that young version of herself and bring that forward,
(29:10):
bring the youthful energy of who she is to the
foreground and live in that space and stop worrying about
what people think and worrying about who's.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
Yeah, you know it's funny, so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
She's still beautiful spring herself and comparison will kill you.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
Yeah, because you know what I have done.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I'm sitting here looking at this and thinking, Sephena, you
have matured you. I don't want to be my younger self.
I have gained so much knowledge and experience and have
had the highest of highs. I've had the best love,
I've suffered the greatest losses. All of those things have
(29:56):
made me who I am today. That's who I want
someone to fall in love with, not some picture of
me when you know I was twenty or twenty five. So, Sophia,
I think you need to rethink what it is you're
looking for and what you think men are looking for,
because you don't want a guy.
Speaker 5 (30:15):
You don't want a guy that's looking for a twenty
year old.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Sephina, there's one thing you said that I'm going to
disagree with. Your best days are behind you? Oh no
they're not, Sweetie. This is the best chapter ever. Go out,
be you, be you, enjoy you, and someone else will too.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
Natasha, do you think it takes a lot of courage.
I mean, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I think people our age sometimes they think we think
we're the only ones dealing with this. And I think
you know, when you were talking earlier about going out
and going to, you know, different venues to meet people,
I think we all need to remember right that we're
all scared. We're all in that same boat. So it's
just being you. And do you agree with that or not?
Speaker 4 (31:02):
I agree practice makes perfect. The more you go out,
the more you get to know people and go into
different venues for dating or getting to know people, it
becomes easier. It's when you rarely do it, and you
it's you don't.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
It's the word.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Yeah, it's weird, it's awkward. You're socially awkward. And I
know it's taken me years to be able to step
into new environments confidently. However, you must do it. I
notice the more I go out, the more I'm circulating,
the easier it comes.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Or temper the troul about yourself. Take a little trip
by yourself. It doesn't have to be long, it doesn't
even have to be far. Just go be with yourself.
You never know who you're going to meet, and that's okay.
If you didn't meet anybody you did you.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Sit right down and see what is she want? Like,
sit down and write on the paper. She may not
even know who she's looking for because she hasn't even
evaluated what am I looking for? The question you all
ask me what am I looking for in a partner?
Right now? What are the what are my pros? And
what are my cons? And if you have a long
list of negatives and not enough positive you got you
(32:15):
got a lot of work to do.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Natasha, you are absolutely fabulous and you're spot on. Thank
you so much for coming and talking with us today
and just sit out some great advice ladies and gentlemen.
That does it for today's episode of Bachelor Happy Hours
Golden Hour.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Thank you so much, Natasha.
Speaker 5 (32:36):
We have loved catching up with you. Natasha.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
As always, you always have great advice and we hope
that you all will follow us on Bachelor Bachelor Happy
Hour as we have new episodes coming out every week.
If you enjoyed today with Natasha, you're gonna love what's
coming up.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Next, and make sure to submit those questions because we
do want to answer them. You can go to Bachelor
niche dot com, slash Golden Hour, or hit us up
on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Thanks again, and be sure listen to Bachelor Happy Hours
Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen
to podcasts.
Speaker 5 (33:14):
We'll see you next week. Take care,
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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